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Best Poems Written by Mikayla Cortez

Below are the all-time best Mikayla Cortez poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Forever-With-Me-In-Heart

Him, he’s so dangerous but so safe.How can someone like him be so broken??His smile oh my gosh it’s so priceless I swear he doesn’t know his true worth.To me no mental diagnosis would be able to describe his way of emotions so damaged he wants to go into a never ending deep sleep.I want him to know what his existence means to me if only...if only he knew...Even if I try to bring this up to him he simply nods his head in such a disagreement way.It’s him that helps me realize we all go through rough patches sometimes we need more convincing to reassure our existence is wanted in this porcelain world that he just wants to see crush in pieces that couldn’t be mended together.After your determination of never finding happiness you left me with the choice of giving up on...you...I did so eventually.I heard utter silence from you for weeks, I asked myself was I not of a good help to you or was I giving you false hope?.I couldn’t gather the correct answer to my curiosity so I marched thirty minutes to your home.Stepping on your front steps brought back memories no one could replace.The third step was the hardest for I was inches from your front door, I knocked lightly surprised your mom heard the slight sound of my knuckles pouncing on your white fading door.So she pulled open the door and behind the door she stood with such anger and sadness painted on her face I to felt what she was feeling but had no idea what was the purpose of such pain in my chest and stomach.We sat at the table for hours bringing up little memories we had with you and of you.The idea I couldn’t gather up was that her words kept referring to past tense events like there won’t be any more memory making, like you weren’t here.To answer my curiousity I blurted out and asked, “where is he?” she replied, “sweetie, umm...you didn’t hear..he’s gone.” I was so scared at this point and didn’t know how to react so I stood out of the chair and yelled at her screaming of such pain asking where you were.She couldn’t even look at me in the eye, lowering her head slowly she said, “he committed,” I no longer had control of what my body decided to do next.There I fell to the floor almost crushing my bones and cried my heart out aching and asking why you did it why you were so determined to give up a life you were meant to live in the most unimaginable way.All this time I knew your temptation but never knew you would take it this far I seem to have been mistaken, all I wanted was the feeling of your arms around my body, the sound of your voice...oh my gosh…”I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact you are forever gone never heard anymore you had me...why would you.” so many tears fell out of my glossy eyes that all this felt like a nightmare, so badly I wanted it to be so there my body laid motionless my eyes shut and you were there...in my thoughts at least this is all you left me...pain.I couldn’t fathom the reasons for your doing for I could’ve outnumbered your points..if you just gave me the chance of loving you the way you deserved.Your smile is a forever memory I repeat each year on this day.

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Souls

I’m stuck in depression he has me wrapped around his broken finger holding me so tightly close to him I can breathe the thick air within him.I’m not losing tears just losing my state of mind, what’s left of it at least.I have not discovered such misery that consumes my mind itself...for this I feel so numb to the very thin dark coal of my soul.Now I’m up repeatedly breathing depper and deeper only to realize I have to face reality.This innocent heart I’ve stummped upon held such sorrow you could almost hear its screams that were distinct of pain.I ripped my heart out in trade of hers for I only wished she would find something worth living for.Carrying this depressing beat in my fragile chest now trying to bring it back, but i have seem to let it down.I fight in constant tears of sobs so tragic I can’t sleep so much anymore these past few years.I sit up right with the most morbid expression, they have questioned me to be alive or not.The reply i gave was the slightest smile to reassure I have not given up just yet.I’ve only been in this world for sixteen years and I have already approached such a matter of sadness in need of my help.One day I am gonna carry to much pain that I fall on my bare knees trying to get back up, nevertheless i couldn’t stand the deep sorrow of pain anymore.Who am I to go to when i need a bit of hapiness to make it through this life journy.Am I to be a corpse of regret or failure of my strongness.I see no positive outcome of me giving up on such a task I had been challenged by and by many others like me.Never have I fell this deep in my own thoughts.Only then I lost sight from the fog that keapt crowding in my head muttering to me over and over that I will never overcome my what of aiding these poor lost souls.I do not know how much life I have left in me or hope for that matter.Feels like I’m losing touch with my own hapiness as I grow farther away from it.I float around watching it just lay on the bathroom floor surrounded by a island of all the medication you could think of that were meant to make me “happier” but only helped me realize reality is becoming satan’s perfect hell.My train of thought has not lost its madness just yet, for my heart lost its madness.It is vulnerable and weak when when it comes to lost never found dreery souls that reak of death and sudden fatell worthless purpose.To what is my doing for, why trade my heart for someone else’s damaged and wounded one.I have lived you can say to what a shorter time then most but I serve the hopeless forgotten ones for they have not yet lived a life filled with such color and laughters to come.I willinginly sacrifice my still warm beating heart that pumps such red colors through out my body so they to have a hint what hapiness exist for.I do not mind my constant weakness every day from this trade of broken hearts.I ask nothing in return, simply wanting this soul to live and experience such a vibrant life that is so powerful enough to create such a chain reaction amongst the rest of the broken fallen ones.When I have nothing left to offer but of my soul, I to would sacrifice it knowingly I may never come back the same, to why do these mere souls matter so much, only to fully understand my madness is you to shall help someone in need of such a tragic task.

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Momma

Dear mom,
	You have caused me so much pain I contemplated if I was the problem and tried to figure out how to get rid of the “problem”, me,so many nights and days ocean's flow out of my eyes.Been almost a year since we have had more than a ten minute conversation.I’m wanting more of a closer relationship with you but I can’t do that as long as you distant yourself from me.As if these one-thousand fifty miles aren’t enough of a distance from me.I’m lost without your hugs, the little love you gave to me.Just because I was in your arms under your roof in and out for my fifteen years doesn’t mean you gave me the right kind of affection I so badly craved from you.How could you not see it in my eyes.They shouted so badly for you to notice or question the watery rivers flowing down my rosy cheeks.Now you’ve made me question if I want any relations with the single idea of you.I’m so badly hurt by you that anytime dad seems to mention you my mind just goes blank and right then and there I feel I’m sinking deeper and deeper into a unknown that I can’t understand.I washed my pain away by doing what I was taught to stay away from...drugs...from smoking weed to doing pills...and in those moments all my pain seemed to be less but that was just masking what was underneath my mere look on my face.Now I’ve stopped self medicating my pain it’s impossible to avoid it...never thought it would turn out like this.Trying to turn my life around and slowly become healthy again I just want it to be the way it used to be...if only I had the guts to tell you all of this...it is so hard to express myself to someone who doesn’t seem to notice that they’re dragging me through hell…

									:Z

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Dreamer

Deeper he fell into the attention she gave him,
Only realizing he’d lose such a possession,
Her scarlet lips trembled in agony repeatedly, 
Drowning in her love he didn’t want to be saved,
After all it was all a hallucination.

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Sixteen Hours and Twelve Minutes

One thousand fifty-five were the miles between you and I.It’s been five months and a week since we’ve seen face to face.I’m shamefully slowly losing thought of your existence.Each day my smile grows weaker knowing you're becoming old memories I have to replay in my night thoughts to reassure your importance to me.As you age learning the dull places of this world and of the iridescent ones alone it became harder to see such a devoted smile.Knowing your falling into my old foot steps has me terrified to death, that isn’t the life I want you to experience with such sadness, regret, and hatred.You have to realize that people will see you in many unimaginable ways that you couldn’t even process, the choice you have is how these unwanted opinions affect the perspective of yourself.Beauty grows each day from within you and don’t you ever think anything less of yourself.This distance between the two of us doesn’t change the fact were sisters.We’ll find our way back to eachother soon enough, patience is all we have to refer to.Until our face to face meet again I’m always replaying these old memories.

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Guidance

Oh darling, from the start you were damaged in such a way there were millions of ways to put you back together again.Your knuckles bleed such a dark substance I was unaware you were made of this thickness.Slowly you fell to the ground I watched you scream in pain no one ever discovered.Tremor was all I felt flowing throughout my body as I screamed with you from the top of my heart.Quickly you turned to look at me and questioned my determination of madness you’ve created in me.My only response was to wipe away your tears and tell you you’re not in this world alone, that you don’t have to scar your knuckles no longer, that i’m here to help you walk when you feel your legs weakin and can’t bare the pain no longer.

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Forget It

You tried apologizing for your over bearing yelling towards me that seems always not entirely meant for me.You’ve taught me that it’s okay for a man to raise his voice at me, later on in life I will confuse it with love.Thanks for that...i’m curious though truly, if she wasn’t here to tell you of your wrongs would I ever had received that apology?Or would you have just been the stubborn man you are?All i can think about sitting here is slicing my wrists open and letting myself get lightheaded I want to feel myself floating above it all,or if I had the guts to just run out this house and not care about the coldness my body could endure and hope I stepped in front of a vehicle that did all the work for me, as you seen me lay there I would hope you witness my last words, “This is it.” So many possibilities running through my mind over and over.Which should I choose?You tell me.

								:Z

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Hidden

She was curious to why he was the way he is.He was so closed about everything couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth when he stated that he was “ok”.Begging him to explain his daily thoughts only drove him farther away.She no longer had grip of his hands letting go was what he was good at.Night after night she repeated the same question to herself “Am I not good enough for him?” and couldn’t seem to find a answer.His love for her seemed to thin out as they grew apart each day.She screamed in such pain “I hate you, I love you, I’ll never be good enough for you!”.Pain was filling her mind slowly spreading throughout her heart.Love seemed to not exist to him.

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Addiction

I’ve been clean for a while now and already this fake smile is drawn across my face from ear to ear.I didn’t do drugs to be cool or because I was pressured but started using to get rid of all emotions period I didn’t want to experience such pain anymore,I wanted it to go away so badly,so me using was a way of me solving my own problem by myself.I lay in bed each night just wondering if someone wasn’t there to stop me, I wouldn’t have been in his life, would’ve been going nowhere with my life, stuck in what I thought was “ok”.I face pain every day trying to find another escape knowing my old habits will get me into a deeper hole so I quit the use of drugs been almost a month clean now.I won’t give up because my dad expects so little of me and automatically assumes me using again.His doubt in me tears me down but drives me to prove him wrong.I know I am strong just have to put on the mask everyone wants to see and play the role I’m expected to play to their perfection.Here’s to being sober…

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Void

I forgot the sound of your voice as you called for my name a million times for fourteen years off and on.Year fifteen were the first couple months I heard utter silence from you.I forgot the feeling of your hugs for they were always short and cut to the point.Your smile seems to disappear from my memory for you never gave one often.I want to know why you suddenly decided to become less part of my growth in the years to come.I wanted you to see my succession and my downfalls you are so blind to notice I’m not better off without you.You gave life to me how can you not feel a piece of you missing?