Addiction

I’ve been clean for a while now and already this fake smile is drawn across my face from ear to ear.I didn’t do drugs to be cool or because I was pressured but started using to get rid of all emotions period I didn’t want to experience such pain anymore,I wanted it to go away so badly,so me using was a way of me solving my own problem by myself.I lay in bed each night just wondering if someone wasn’t there to stop me, I wouldn’t have been in his life, would’ve been going nowhere with my life, stuck in what I thought was “ok”.I face pain every day trying to find another escape knowing my old habits will get me into a deeper hole so I quit the use of drugs been almost a month clean now.I won’t give up because my dad expects so little of me and automatically assumes me using again.His doubt in me tears me down but drives me to prove him wrong.I know I am strong just have to put on the mask everyone wants to see and play the role I’m expected to play to their perfection.Here’s to being sober…