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Antonio Swider Poem
There's no light in my eyes
faded for so long, i cannot see the hope
that was once there long ago.
as these tears fall, all i can do
is look around, i cannot
hear the sounds of your voice
coming through.
But i'll be OK
please don't try to follow me
it's not safe to go alone
there are things you shouldn't see.
i'll be OK
i know you must hate me
just give it some time
someday you will be fine
just know that i'm all right.
my soul grows cold like this tomb stone
the darkness always falls, pitch black
now i am all alone.
and as i fade, i guess i'll cease to be
nothing left inside i have died
so you could breathe.
But i'll be OK
please don't try to follow me
it's not safe to go alone
there are things you shouldn't see.
i'll be OK
i know you must hate me
just give it some time
someday you will be fine
just know that i'm all right.
in my dying breathe
the air rushing from my chest
i guess there's nothing left, no parting
shots no more time for arguments.
looks in your eyes, i know you'll
leave me now. our time has just
run out. our time is over now!
But i'll be OK
please don't try to follow me
it's not safe to go alone
there are things you shouldn't see.
i'll be OK
i know you must hate me
just give it some time
someday you will be fine
just know that i'm all right.
just know that i'm all right....
Copyright © Antonio Swider | Year Posted 2014
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Antonio Swider Poem
"I'm bleeding
do you think you can patch me up?
oh the ceiling is
starting to spin around
and around and
this feeling
my arms are tingling
hating and seething
i think that i am
panicking!
Attack an Attack
my body turns on me
i can't react
the world is falling all around me
An attack an Attack
my face is numb
soon i'll hit the ground
and no one's going to save
me any how.
Breathing is shallow
much like a wave
put me on a stretcher
and carry me so far away
the thoughts in my head
are starting to race
my body is seizing
i think i'm panicking...
Attack an Attack
my body turns on me
i can't react
this world is falling
all around me
An attack an Attack
my face is going numb
soon i'll hit the ground
cuz no one's here to
save me any how.
Panic attack
an attack an attack
panic attack
panic
attack!"
Copyright © Antonio Swider | Year Posted 2014
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Antonio Swider Poem
As I lay my head upon your chest
Listen closely as you breathe
I can feel your heartbeat racing
At the thoughts of you and me.
And I never thought I'd see the day
When your breath would finally cease
The beating of your heart no longer
Beat for you and me.
I could scream into the evening
Think of all of my regrets
The things I always thought of you
But to scared to have said.
I can feel the demons calling
They are clawing from within
I would gladly trade my life for you
So you could of seen how much you meant.
I've been staring at your grave stone now
And it feels like it's been years
And my face is red and burning from
A million falling tears.
I only feel uncertain
Worlds been blown away.
What I wouldnt do to just
Have another day.
And as I draw my last breath
My heart beats slow and shallow
I can feel you on my chest
You tell me I can follow.
I can see you after all
Your always certain smile
The door is open here we go
We enter through the hollow.
Together after all
We made it through the fall.....
Copyright © Antonio Swider | Year Posted 2016
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Antonio Swider Poem
at the party all the people look around
and the can see that there's
an elephant in the corner
who is he?
they take drinks,pills, and cheap therapy
but do they see?
it's all the silence, the lips are moving
service all the liars, make them humble
yet they still won't ask for guidance
and the elephant he holds onto the key
but it leads to places they don't want
to be.
that the elephant in the corner
was me.
hold your hands out
let me see what you have inside them
what is it that you hide there
voices,faces everywhere
burned out dreams, but no one dares
cover them, did you need them spared
the elephant was there.
to bad you didn't care.
At the lighthouse, we observed the waves
they crashed and dashed beside us
as we blanketed the stars
how they divide, just put away
your sleepy mind and let it
bide us. because soon enough
time will not revive us.
are we to long gone
or will he come to
guide us?
the elephant remains around
to smite us. we can see him
but deny, we lie, we spite
just the fact he's here
tonight.
please tell me that you've seen him here
does he whisper in your ear?
your deeds, your lies, your face
you hide, the ones who cried,
those left behind, he looks at you
without a grin, he knows your moves
your every whim, your groans and tones
the hate you own, the epitaph on you
headstone. the elephant is only
skin and bones.
and now your all alone...
Copyright © Antonio Swider | Year Posted 2014
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Antonio Swider Poem
"It's been a while since
i put pen to paper
been a while since
i had anything to say
but i'm so full of hatred and i'm
losing all my friends i'm thinking
how much my life just sucks
how i fight and claw up
only to be knocked down
blood apon my furrowed brow
is it worth it to get up?
or should i just stay on the ground?
and i don't hear any voices it's just
silent all around.
Waiting to be saved cuz
i sure as hell can't save myself
just wanna feel safe but i can't
see to find anyone else
i'm trying to get saved
but drinking this holy water doesn't
seem to help and how i wanna feel
safe
but i can't seem to find anyone else.
Been along time since i felt good enough
or just plain good to be something a woman
wants
it's like i've got all the pieces of the puzzle
but they won't line up.
and it seems like no matter what
i do all i feel is frustrated
and stuck.
Waiting to be saved cuz
i sure as hell can't save myself
just wanna feel safe but i can't
see to find anyone else
i'm trying to get saved
but drinking this holy water doesn't
seem to help and how i wanna feel
safe
but i can't seem to find anyone else."
Copyright © Antonio Swider | Year Posted 2014
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Antonio Swider Poem
Ive been shattered
Into what feels like endless pieces
And the inner monologue seems to
Be pretty meaningless.
I'm here talking to myself because
I don't wanna inconvenience
Maybe I just need more time or
Is that just greediness?
Do you ever reach for me?
Ever look back at old photos?
The memories along with salty tears
Tend to flood back.
I easily wipe away the wet from my eyes
Unlike the painful thoughts
In a sea of a millions I'd still feel
All hope is lost.
Therapy and medication
Hours of meditation
Breathe, lungs in respiration
As old songs play on the radio station.
And there I'm back again
In sadness drowning
Waiting for your hand to break the waves
Endless time that I'm counting.
I just need to see
For a minute or a second
Maybe a small mention.
Where the good things just a fake and this was your real intention?
Just reach and show me
You where not pretending.
Copyright © Antonio Swider | Year Posted 2017
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Antonio Swider Poem
She lays in bed and wipes the tears
From her eyes
Her lips are raw and puffed up
She plays her music really loudly
So she can try and feel nothing.
Sad and lonely
She always seems so hollow and scared to
Sleep afraid that she
Won't wake up tomorrow.
And what do you do?
When no one listens to you
And bruises turn to scars
And you feel that hope is lost.
The world is closing in
And you're losing all your friends
Feel so helpless because the war
Inside is endless.
No matter what you say
How many times you proved
You'd go that extra mile
They never believed in you.
Never good enough
They wanna take away
What made you
And break you
Down.
And what do you do?
When no one listens to you
And bruises turn to scars
And you feel that hope is lost.
The world is closing in
And you're losing all your friends
Feel so helpless because the war
Inside is endless.
The dark and endless nights
The knockdown drag out fights
Countless screaming matches in
Between the singing of lullibies.
She has no more strength
Its been taken all away
She wants to run so far
But it always ends the same.
And what do you do?
When no one listens to you
And bruises turn to scars
And you feel all hope is lost.
Losing all your friends
Drowning feeling helpless
The war inside your mind
Is endless.
She puts her headphones in
She plays her music way to loud
So she can drown out the fighting
Of her parents
Going at it again now.
Its happened so many times before
She always ignored it until
She found her mother
Face down upon the floor.
And what do you do?
Copyright © Antonio Swider | Year Posted 2016
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Antonio Swider Poem
don’t think i don’t understand you
everything you say i get it truly i do
the feeling never goes away. everyone
hates me. nothing is for sure anymore
it seems like death’s tapping on the door.
the blood is dripping from my pen
the walls are covered with our sins
sometimes i feel i don’t belong
theres something bad always going on
why do i always feel like i’m in the wrong?
what makes you hate me so bad
what did i do to you to make you want to turn
away and never look back? what made you leave
was i really that bad? all the arguments the anger
and the pain keeps coming right back.
i hate you for the agony, the ever present
reckoning, the seconds of insecurity, the lies
that fly from out your teeth. the words you fail
to some how speak, the way you make me feel
so weak. the irony is killing me. i need you but i need
to leave. the end of me was always you. we are worlds apart
i thought i knew. into the night is what we hoped was true
but nothings left of me and you.
what makes you hate me so bad
what did i do to you to make you want to turn
away and never look back? what made you leave
was i really that bad? all the arguments the anger
and the pain keeps coming right back.
Copyright © Antonio Swider | Year Posted 2014
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Antonio Swider Poem
I don't wanna do this again
Arguing with the thoughts in my head.
Arguments I'll never win I'm screaming
Till my throat is sore for help
But no ones listening!
Because I don't wanna be broken anymore
Sick and tired of taping myself back together
Just to wind up in more pieces on your floor.
So tired of waking up alone
Knowing you don't care.
Been down on my knees more times
Than I would care to share.
Your eyes have always pierced me through
And broken all I know!
And you twist my words
My world falls apart
How many times can you go
And break my heart?
And you ignore my words
My feelings fall apart
How many times can you rip
The tape off of my heart?!
Because I don't wanna be broken anymore Sick and tired of taping myself back together Just to wind up in more pieces on your floor.
Copyright © Antonio Swider | Year Posted 2015
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Antonio Swider Poem
The angels are screaming
the demons stole the crown
as vengence is needed
across this vapid town
the angels are beaming
the crooked must be found
the vengence proceeded
to bring all of us down.
The boy, his soul is fleeing
his eyes are cold and grey
the warden is bleeding
today is his last day
can you hear the feelings?
does misery complain?
quatered into seasons
this kids going insane!
They push and pull against his skull
they all battle for his name
the angels and the demons
are tearing him away.
They push and pull against his skull
as they battle for his name
the angels and the demons, my friend
he'll never be the same.
They all just want to grab his hand
but there splitting him in two
and the faces looking back at him
try to tell him what is true.
but the truth to all that matters
seems to be so far from you.
The skies open up apon his body
strewn across a road, suddenly
his family suddenly explodes.
now he knows, oh he knows
that this just can't be real
but the angels and the demons
tell him he was at the wheel.
They push and pull against his skull
they all battle for his name
the angels and the demons
are tearing him away.
They push and pull against his skull
as they battle for his name
the angels and the demons, my friend
he'll never be the same.
They push and pull against his skull
they all battle for his name
the angels and the demons
are tearing him away.
They push and pull against his skull
as they battle for his name
the angels and the demons, my friend
he'll never be the same.
Copyright © Antonio Swider | Year Posted 2015
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