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Lartoria Brown Poem
Trying Times
Can I maintain this life
Without begging Christ
To save me
From the life he gave me
Can I walk to the plot
To where lays my father death spot
And stand over his grave
His life is with me acknowledgement
I’m is daughter but I wasn’t with him his last dying days
Tears seem to not fall from my eyes
Because I know emotion will not grow him back
And the last words that utter from my mouth will be with me until the day that I’m
dead they are now un-depart able bitter words that has now been said
They say Gods give you nothing you can’t bare
Trying time he’s given me trying times is in me
I dream of some better days
As a young child proven educate with good grades
Wanted to be a woman at a young age
Started working on my life
Tried to blackout every thing in my life that went wrong
Even as a minor I promise god that all my struggling was going to make me
strong
But lost in the mine set that I had no one to carry with me
Turn my back on the people that had given me life
Told them I didn’t need them so forget their advice
I broke them down to the same feeling that rooted bitterness
Spoke for me took hostage over my pride
But each heart beat I wanted I wanted them to reach for me because all I wanted
was to be their child
They say Gods give you nothing you can’t bare
Trying times he’s given me trying times is in me
Fast I was moving
Tried I was getting
Still I wasn’t not going to stop
Because I will never give up
I instill in myself as long as I don’t misused my body and educate my mine
There was nothing that could harm me Nothing
Suddenly everything that I was reaching for turn around and ran from me
And for the first time in my life I wanted good to save me
I barely stop myself from falling to my knees begging him to free me
For now I could see
My daddy deceased
My mother sickly
And soon I will be a woman
For I will be no ones child
I feel as if I’m not ready
They say Gods give you nothing you cant bare
Trying time he’s given me trying times is in me
Copyright © Lartoria Brown | Year Posted 2006
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Lartoria Brown Poem
Given time I just need to stand
let me see my parents smile
trades what I couldn't do without
prayer of hope that I wouldn't leave them
because some days I blur them out
I complain that life was hard
But to see death come to them is even harder
let it bring the truth
I no inside my eyes there lye's the proof
its me, they are who the should be
my realization is weak
my imagination is fiction
but bring into life is what I fake and make is what is existing
trying to take control of the feeling
but to lose all that with the past times
makes the situation rewinds on my mine
forgive me god now I am trying
I don't wan ta to leave u daddy
But I think I can make it on my own
I don't wan ta see you weak momma
I only wan ta image of you as being strong
Yes I know the rain don't only wash away
The sun is not what brighten the day
and its good to place these things together
but my emotions is lost though all weather
bring me though
don't let me blame
just give me the strength to gain
let me be who I'm supposed to be
don't let me fall into the dictation of hurt
god bring me close to my identity
Copyright © Lartoria Brown | Year Posted 2006
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Lartoria Brown Poem
My Love
When I love you
Like comes beside you
Never shall it rise above you
Because I’ve come to love you
I will stand with roots
Because with you
I plan to grow
I hope you know
I will travel though any weather
To help you
Together you and me can pull though
Actions it will not be the only thing that resembles
The love I shall reflect upon with you
Mentally I shall connect to
Because I’ve come to love you
Hard times want be only yours never again
Now you can take hold of a humbling hand
Secrets want have to be held within
Because now you have a joint mine that would easily understand
To see a smile upsize your chin
Would be scheduled into my daily plans
Because I’ve come to love you
Beautiful, ugly, woman, child or man
For my love don’t comprehend
Because my love don’t see
My love take emotions
In start to put them into motions
Place them into me
Than I begin to reach
Because I’ve come to love you
Copyright © Lartoria Brown | Year Posted 2006
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Lartoria Brown Poem
Golden Memories
Brother I wouldn’t pronounce you to the world
I pause out your conversation when you held your little girl
In let you promise the sun to the water
And as you told god you would give life to grantee chances for your first daughter
Sister I wouldn’t judge you
When you chose to lay a woman next to you
Remembering the walks we used to take
At my bus stop you used to wait
For me and the books you used to read
And conversations we share and the stories you could tell
Sister you sure can sell
But you sold me these golden memories
Mother some hard arguments
Was rip though with negative comments
But as Shirley say what you given me no charge
If you want to become who you truly are
Let life see you working hard
One time you broke down
From words I conceive
Now I know I shouldn’t never said no matter how much I believe
All these hard times I wanted to blame you because you was the reason
It was hard for me to bereave
Now I know for life there are no fees
I thank The Lord for you and these golden memories
Father you were there for me at the start
Troubles would take you into the waters
As I continue to swim
I would see you floating
But you would never reach me
But your departure or your absence
Is what question me
Until I finish it will be unknown
Someday I know your reasons would come along
Until I shall take time and hope to see
Hope you wouldn’t only be a image of a golden memory
Copyright © Lartoria Brown | Year Posted 2006
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Lartoria Brown Poem
Self Revelations-Tribulations
Lord I didn’t lose belief in you
My intentions for not coming to your place or visiting your home
Was for I had consolations that had to come to understand on my own
I bare no doubt into the pattern you place into my life
For you inputted a design that so unique
I couldn’t mist what made you put so much work into me
I was shaking my head than yelling thank you lord
Scrubbing floor instead of chasing teen-age boys
Trying to push forward by loving education
Young woman trying to explore
In my mine I thought I was being me
Prayers begin to praise
I’m saying not me stop glazing at me
Don’t bawl heads down for me
Cover my face for they could see
God shame, shame for me
I aloud dark clouds to hover over me
I believe in you so strongly
My morals they begin to shadow my beliefs
I did know there would be troubles along the way
I just didn’t know that my own family would take so much away
I work so hard to rise
I tried so hard individuals could see my eyes were getting so tried
But they spoke to you because stranger new I was hiding me
Working so hard to raise above the family you gave me
Yes lord it hurt me to face reality
I felt pain for so many days
But you allowed me to sleep when times my haunted soul used to awake
I understand you give but than you have to take
No mistakes I used a lie to console my mine
My heart wanted to try
Metaphor instill in me my mine strong my hearts just weak
But you working on me
Tears they have to come, hurt has to maintain
But never lose faith in your lord saver name
Copyright © Lartoria Brown | Year Posted 2006
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Lartoria Brown Poem
STRESSING
Stop your stressing
Look at this life is worst than the great depression
Ma looks at the gun
Yeah I got a pistol but I'm not the only one
You got to realize I’m not just your son
I’m the gutter son
And this pistol is among many ma
Because the gutter got so many sons
And for me not to carry
It would be scary
Because homie down the street said it was no need
Now remember ma yesterday old dude was buried
School is not going to educate you
To watch your back
Get money fast enough to feed you today
Protect your life and save your life before tomorrow
I can’t borrow from the textbooks, money
I need to eat I need shoes on my feet
Now stop your stressing ma
Yell I be out there with my daddy
You know his name the streets
Though it’s not a person it’s the only thing that reaches me
The Conner block sign should have been my last name
Because I stay posted and I state claim
So stop your stressing ma
I’m being a man, I’m not afraid
This life is testing
And I’m going to pass it today
Now listen to everything you say
Because in reality it’s not the gutter way
So stop your stressing ma
Yeah your son carrying a gun
You got to understand this one is among so many ma
Copyright © Lartoria Brown | Year Posted 2006
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Lartoria Brown Poem
Mother Nature
Say mother Say mother…
Can you see your child flowing in the wind?
Blowing in the dust and crack and smelling like nothing but must
In the mist of troubles put shot guns to baby brains
By taking out their parent and given them a ward of a life to maintain
Given birth to a child that derange in the brain
Amp to bring innocence low than bring them forth on down
Instead of making you proud
I do things that so wild
Like giving diseases to a child
Molest the youth
With more than physical but with mental abuse
Will all this goodness torture you?
Or would it be even better
If I was to infects myself with AIDS
And go on out and give it to every nigga who likes to get laid
Cause in a way I no they would go out the in give to another
So all my goodness would smother
And hover over the innocence
Easily I can let my brain play like Monopoly
Go to each community and spread bullets through each Property
No ‘I’ll go out there in put fire to your trees
Burn every forest so one day no body and bereave
Yes mother yes mother I’m your enemy
And you and father create billions of me
Say mother Say mother
Can nature be?
Can nature defeat me?
Copyright © Lartoria Brown | Year Posted 2006
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Lartoria Brown Poem
When I Write
When I write
Its like my own retaliation to a world I can’t fight
But with these put together words
they give recommendation to my views and insights
When I write I feel there is no need to all ways come off polite
There no fear or stress
For me to come off looking my best
Know one knows of my personal image
They shall care less
When I write I give
My talent my skills
I want my wording to show possibilities of who this person is
A challenge to a person mine
to wonder if I have lived though a these scares and ordeals
When I write
I place no shield
When I write
I give it to you how I feel
When I write
I give my life some sunlight and give you lime light
When I write
I cry tears ,emotions lye here
to say I have been writing for so many years
And still I write
But when I write
I give it to you the way it is
I keep it so real
When I write
Copyright © Lartoria Brown | Year Posted 2006
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Lartoria Brown Poem
Say let me make say let me make
Born in the gutter on the block
Contently watch
Thugs running to the Connor thinking dang that stuff hot
As a youngster mine regularly set up plot
I want what they got
Came to the came
Everybody was A didn’t give a care too their name
This be my dream
Getting what I want by feeding crack fens
Say let me make it Say let me make me
Momma don’t cry nah momma don’t cry
Look inside your house everything nice
Look at your ride you riding so tide
You don’t got to worry they can’t turn off your lights
Just go to bingo in listen to Smoky cause everything going to be alright
Say let me make say let me make
Don’t nobody wants see little of me
Going out making that big money
So they get ready to eliminate me
I set up notations
Someone on every block every location
Listening end to ever conversation
They wants take so I’m going have to shape
To show them life is real problems is not fake
So say goodbye goodnight your love your life
Say let me make say let me make
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Copyright © Lartoria Brown | Year Posted 2006
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Lartoria Brown Poem
MORALS
For my family
I will never down another
From the beginning my mother sat me down
And explain we were to raise from the gutter
Say child ,look at your sister than you look at your brother
Because in the end their going to be the one you have to take in
And they going to be the ones you won’t be trusting
Do realize some will feed you a lot of lies
And family would believe you ‘re hypotize
Due to your blood ties
But always remember from the beginning to the end
From the beginning to the end
For than I come to them asking for more than I need
But worst more than they can give
From my own family want to take their last
To feed my greed
I know the using than the abusing
But the same hands that gave pull away
Seeing that I could only lead the way
By myself no one else
than when falling went to reach for help
Pulled back in
Cold shoulders gave to me
Hard eyes glaze at me
Momentary realization came to me
As well as the same voice that once said to me
Came back again repeat
We shall not place blame on either
Because we to rise from the gutter
Take this bounce in rotate
Because we should be for one and another
Were here from the beginning to the end
From the beginning to the end
Copyright © Lartoria Brown | Year Posted 2006
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