Long Jealousy Poems
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Sally wasn't as pretty as Kelly,
they had two different personalities;
one was hard to love, the other was
gentle and surrendered easily.
I shared the love of two girls
who battled to have me desperately;
they fought and pulled their hair,
showing endless rage and jealousy...
they couldn't put an end to their animosity!
I was torn between the two for years,
and finally decided to keep Sally
who was truly faithful and had
a genuine, not a sarcastic sense of humor:
Kelly was rageful and showed insanity,
she sent me to hell, then stalked
me and Sally until she realized her madness!
Sally wasn't as pretty as Kelly,
one had stunning eyes that charmed,
the other a beautiful smile I adored;
I was a lucky dude, but also an unhappy one
breaking up their fights, wiping their tears
and getting slapped a few times...
even though I never took sides in their quarrels,
and watching them being helpless I felt so silly!
Sally wasn't as pretty as Kelly,
but they had a big effect on me;
I didn't need two jealous babes to please me...
all I was looking for was total honesty!
.
Eventually, you get used to it:
Every time you walk into a room
And all eyes turn to glare at your noticeable difference.
They can’t help but gasp and raise their
Hands to cover their mouth
As if I wouldn’t notice their jaws
Dropping to the floor.
I used to shy away from their stares
And quickly scurry to hide in the dark
Shadows around the edges of the room.
Now, I look them directly in the eyes
And give a nod of recognition
And treat their stares as gazes of admiration
Even knowing they are appalled by my deformity.
But, really, who is deformed?
A man with two-eyes is deformed in a Cyclops convention.
Standing on two feet would be a deformity in a world full of Centaurs.
In a universe of bald people, that one who requires shampoo would be the odd ball.
I defy their stares, their gawks, and their looks of pity.
My difference, I dare say, sets me apart from your deformed normalcy.
I hold my head up high and sit in the most prominent position in the room.
Proud of my difference – for it gives me a perspective on things that
You can never achieve.
I am unique;
I do not envy those who are clones of what society considers the perfect shape and form.
Stare if you will
Your jealousy, as I choose to see it, is unbecoming and yet flattering.
Thank you for noticing that I am different.
I am sure no one watched your every step when you entered the room.
And now, you may feel sorry for yourselves instead.
...A recipe for dystopia,
like old Harrison Bergeron,
equality taken too far
is a symphony of the wrong.
The communists proved this quite well,
all their power could not make it work,
mankind is not made to be equal,
attempting it drives things berserk.
It is a far better idea
to try to make people more free,
this produces better effects
for the whole of society.
Freedom may mean different outcomes,
but as we’ve noted, that’s a good thing,
and freedom gives people the chance
to change what their future might bring.
You can screw up, time after time,
and still be free to try again.
for those who do strive to improve
success can be around the bend.
Freedom lets the people decide
what they life is even about,
money, family, serving a god,
whatever greater good you tout.
Freedom means you can take a chance
with some expectation of reward,
without this we would just stagnate,
still be running around with swords.
In fact freedom plus incentive
is why we have advanced at all,
if you’re not free to try and fail
then technology would’ve stalled.
If all folks had to be equal,
then why bother getting ahead?
Freedom to profit built this world,
there’s wisdom in what Adam Smith said.
Freedom means you can say all things,
not be limited to one line,
can you imagine the boredom
if we said the same things all the time?
Freedom gives you the chance to find
your potential, you own unique path.
Equality is an imposed state,
deviate and you will face wrath.
What person would want to live like that?
Subject themselves to such a hell?
Freedom is the only way to
ever realize your unique self.
So I think that it is safe to say
to the egalitarian urge,
known that your goal cannot exist,
no matter how much jealousy yearns.
We are not made to be the same,
the outcomes will always be skewed,
and that all of these differences
are the price you pay to be you.
The Founders knew it long ago,
that freedom beats equality,
and that most folks who think otherwise
would just lead us to tyranny.
Jealousy overcomes me like
an anaconda suffocating my prideful puffed penguin chest
and the thought of your hand running across the skin of someone else is grievous
So uncomfortable, I feel a wave of something wearisome, and it's left a skunky sour taste in my
mouth,
nauseas at the fact that you could look that way.... at someone ELSE
A wave of irritability floods over me like a tsunami of self doubt, I take my aggression out on
myself
curse obscenities to numb the guilt of my defeat in all interpersonal relationship realms
I know that I will never measure up to the standards of perfection, that I have daydreamed up
I feel like a child reaching up to the cookie counter, but I can never manage to reach that
perfection shelf
Tell me something,
To all y’all young brotha's
How do you define a real nigga
Is it that dude that’s defiling women,
Drug dealing, robbing & stealing
Claims he’s big pimping, saying he a “G”
Cause he did like 6 months in a detention center.
Is that what you call real? These niggas ain’t real.
What about the niggas that’s
Taking care of their kids
Handling Grown man biz and
Yeah he might have did a couple bids
Something like a three year sentence
And that’s real I ain’t kidding
But y’all ain’t listening.
See ya perception of a real nigga is so messed up
By age 18 most of our brothers
Are gonna be dead or in bloody hand cuffs
You out here trying ya luck
Robbing for a little bit of paper
Stop believing these rap artist
These niggas ain’t gangsta.
Problem is these niggas is so scared to be somebody
Scared they gone see somebody
They so used to being nobody
They think hustling & catching bodies is actually a hobby
But you know what they say ya mind is ya worst enemy
So it got ya heart full of hatred, jealousy, & envy
Got you thinking you addicted to cigarettes this generation is so dizzy
And I’m part of it, trying to make a change
So far the moment I’m so busy.
These niggas so caught up in the money
They overlooking the trap
Niggas at war & beefing so heavy they can’t relax
Thinking nobody loves them
Tell me where’s the loving?
Racism exist believe it or not
Everybody’s holding grudges
They ain’t realizing we all
Brothers, sisters, & cousins
But In the hood it’s survival of the illest
So called thugs claiming they the realest.
These niggas ain’t real I’m telling you man
When you get locked up or catch a little sentence
See how many of ya homies come and visit
There are many tricks to the slave trade the face we wear is one.
Cheerful Smiling faces, happy high fives dancing under the sun.
Cover the truth as best you can is instructed to every man.
To fake-it-til-you-make-it urged throughout ones’ Life span.
Look upon the inner being with open eyes of better seeing.
Pretend that you are gleeful, full of wealth and care, free of woe.
You are far above the clouds and not involved in the ole heave hoe.
Do not permit the world to see the truth beneath the hide.
Bottle it up and press it down to keep it deep inside.
Look upon the inner being with open eyes of better seeing.
Ignore the burdens of the chains in life.
Dull the senses 'til null the pains of strife.
What’s the meaning of this evilness?
This is not the path to holy bliss.
Look upon the inner being with open eyes of better seeing.
Wherefore art thy shameful sin?
Tis’ Hidden betwixt the evil grin?
Forced Social courtesies to live a lie.
Taunting embarrassingly False pride.
Look upon the inner being with open eyes of better seeing.
Uncontrolled envious jealousy and rage.
Solely for a phony life that’s staged.
Secret groups, we give our pledge.
between us a widely divided wedge
Look upon the inner being with open eyes of better seeing.
Why is the truth of my state deemed mean?
Why the view on reality found only in a dream?
Why must You "Permit-me-to-be-honest"?
Surely, in this philosophy, I’m not the lonely monist.
Look upon the inner being with open eyes of better seeing.
****07/2020
Two renaissance artists . . .
Leonardo Da Vinci created enduring works during his lifetime,
too many to list but perhaps the most well known is the Mona Lisa.
Born April 15, 1452 and died May 2, 1519 at only 67 years old.
Considered the greatest painter of all time. Born out of wedlock.
At 14 he apprenticed with a master and soon was more skillful,
and at the age of 20, he was a master himself.
Michelangelo Buonarroti also created amazing works in his life,
one I love is the Pietra, so lifelike it makes me want to weep.
Born, March 6, 1475 and he died February 18, 1584, an old man.
His skill as a sculptor and painter is famous, and always loved.
The Sistine Chapel, his statues, his frescoes are stunning to view.
At 13, he too apprenticed with a master and soon was skillful,
and went on to be a master artist.
There was a public battle Leonardo vs Michelangelo and their art,
David vs Mona Lisa. There was 2 years of public competition.
A huge man who stands with a grimace vs a sitting woman smiling.
Even before this they were rivals, hated each other, jealous of each.
The loser left crossing the Alps to sulk in France taking his painting,
today she smiles at her fans, like a star to be idolized by the public.
And Michelangelo's works are treasures he left with us forever.
There was such an intense dislike between the two artists always,
but really they were so similar.... perhaps it WAS all jealousy,
because I have read they were both a bit odd.
_______________________________
July 7, 2016
Epic
For the contest, Historical Rivalry, Part 1
Leonardo vs Michelangelo, sponsor, Marugu Mo
Sixth Place
I hope you know how much you mean to me
Even though you'll never feel the way I do
It's unbearable, but it's true
Can't have what we once had
I should've known, you hated me
There's no salvation, no pieces to pick up
Just kneel to the floor, feel your heart beat
I know it's unbearable, but she doesn't even know
Everything that you feel is a one-sided battle
I know you imagine she'll know about everything someday
Make up and share stories, life's not an allegory
Your actions and thoughts will go unnoticed
You won't ever be her main focus
A fictitious exemplum
Carved from the Oxydendrum
It doesn't matter how badly you want something
If something doesn't want you
I can remember as a kid a toy that was popular, that I had called trolls
They were funny little cavemen with colorful hair and eyes the glowed
It was the fad to collect them all and to trim and shape their funny hair
They were fun to style and show off their funny fashion flair
Once the fad was over, they became the subject of horror movies
Depicted as nasty, mischievous little demons that were loony
They were evil green looking monsters out to get revenge
A goal of taking over the world where goodness would end
Trolls now take on the latter meaning in today’s world
Lurking quietly and hidden until they come out unfurled
Slinging verbal attacks toward others that are vile and mean
Mainly cowards that are full of hot hair blowing off steam
Trolls can go away and back to their miserable lonely homes
Stay out of the limelight and stop throwing hurtful stones
Trolls best belong as memories of sweet childhood toys
Not cowardly beings out expressing hatred just to annoy
I set before you admonishing
That of the Garden
I rose up in glory astonishing
That in the Garden
And As I grew I saw within you, strong things
Heavenly, I adorned the touch of the solace
That of embracing of the foliage
I was caught up in the greenery chronology
Planted blossom grow seed flowers bold
But you spoke a message
About the blessings Grand Creator
That of the Garden
And if I do want to plant in you
That of your Garden
Seeds of life, dew
Rain dawns drops of heaven's hues
I stood on the garden
My eyes seen the order love obsession and jealousy
Planted blossom grow seed flowers bold
Sunflowers planted amongst the dandelions sown grow
I planted seeds in the garden
You whom were the Orchard
One within a garden
That of the Garden
And if I do want to plant in you
That of your Garden
Seeds of life, dew
Rain dawns drops of heaven's hues
Planted blossom grow seed flowers bold
I stood on the garden
Abba Father flourished and molded you in His creations hands
Out of earthern plans, making His a little
Givings a lot
As I stand before the orchard calling on the grand creator
Why has my garden stop moving
As I called before the grand creator
In reference my garden has now been placed in drought
That of the garden has wilted wildered away
Planted blossom grow seed flowers bold
Like the sun brighten rays reflection
Gardens truest self has once was planted now it's energies light
Has gone up into space
That of the Garden
Planted blossom grow seed flowers bold
Father once sown planted soul on loan
Now truest essence solid Garden now the sun's rays energy risen
Truest form giving back until the Lord heavenly orchard Father
Givings of lots
That of the garden
I thank my God for you
That of the garden
5/4/23
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2023