Sorry I Shied Away

Is it just me or I'm starting to slow down along with the unwinding of time? Time is running out and oh how I feel sublime I'm in need of understanding God's Word and Law I feel trapped and I wear this frown all day through it all I'm not feeling good Everything I say I feel misunderstood Every single day Sorry I shied away... I'm not a sunny day I'm the clouds above, Soaking in His love I'm the rain, So refrain From making me cry... I don't know why I try... I'm sorry... I don't feel like associating with anyone at the very moment I'm sorry... I'm dealing with this envy and resentment...I'm barely learning like a crying infant I'm not feeling good Everything I say I feel misunderstood Every single day Sorry I shied away... I'm not a sunny day I'm the clouds above, Soaking in His love I'm the rain, So refrain From making me cry... I don't know why I try... I know that I struggle to meet up to Your endless expectations and Standards alike... I don't know how to repent, it's like struggling to learn how to ride a brand-new bike... I'm not feeling good Everything I say I feel misunderstood Every single day Sorry I shied away... I'm not a sunny day I'm the clouds above, Soaking in His love I'm the rain, So refrain From making me cry... I don't know why I try... I hate the truthful fact That I struggle to interact With my age group and all... Cooped up in my solitude ball... And I stand tall again and again...Where do I begin? I lose, I don't win...Where have you been? In between once again? I don't mean to offend; I meant to help you, not harm you - come again? I ramble on and on in poetry Cuz my style is human liberty I am a dysfunctional computer... I should've had a fixing sooner I'm not feeling good Everything I say I feel misunderstood Every single day Sorry I shied away... I'm not a sunny day I'm the clouds above, Soaking in His love I'm the rain, So refrain From making me cry... I don't know why I try... Felt this Discontent Feeling Discomfort Broken and bent I'm the sky dirt My mind wanders off in confusing muses...trapped in my skin, a perilous pit My heart has dealt with love affair bruises...loses control, but I can handle it Cuz handsome hurts... Cute hurts...sexy hurts... What's in the outside doesn't match the inside Perfection is a label I never was Don't point the finger at me cuz I accuse you for the scars you've given me long ago... But I forgive you after all is said and done...let me grow and let me go...with my own flow... Reap what you sow You know? I know... I'm not feeling good Everything I say I feel misunderstood Every single day Sorry I shied away... I'm not a sunny day I'm the clouds above, Soaking in His love I'm the rain, So refrain From making me cry... I don't know why I try... Maybe...just maybe I need time to think things through Since I was foolishly sick with the flu of fretful blue I envy and I'm ashamed of it So I throw a childish fit Inside of me...at the very least...I am red when I should be yellow (I am negative when I should be positive) Don't be a tease - that's my plea to a certain degree...I am not proud, but insecure...so pissed off, but mellow I'm not feeling good Everything I say I feel misunderstood Every single day Sorry I shied away... I'm not a sunny day I'm the clouds above, Soaking in His love I'm the rain, So refrain From making me cry... I don't know why I try... I see the people, socializing with hope and yearning This jealousy and hurt, oh, how it's ever burning...churning... They won't hear my silent-as-the-grave plea... So I shy away from the fish of the shapeless sea... I'm, unfortunately, naive, but I'm still young and gullible... I'm native to the emotions that are of mere irritable... I'm not feeling good Everything I say I feel misunderstood Every single day Sorry I shied away... I'm not a sunny day I'm the clouds above, Soaking in His love I'm the rain, So refrain From making me cry... I don't know why I try... I'm hurting... An expert to biting the bullet Still Yearning... To find an outlet for this regret Scorching me like hot coals... They will never see my heart of pure gold Fill in the gaps and the holes... In my life...which is diminishing like mold... I'm not feeling good Everything I say I feel misunderstood Every single day Sorry I shied away... I'm not a sunny day I'm the clouds above, Soaking in His love I'm the rain, So refrain From making me cry... I don't know why I try... He didn't believe in me Does He believe a boy like me? I'm a man - can't they see? I'm not the sparkling goldfish in the sea of splendor ecstasy... I'm not feeling good Everything I say I feel misunderstood Every single day Sorry I shied away... I'm not a sunny day I'm the clouds above, Soaking in His love I'm the rain, So refrain From making me cry... I don't know why I try... I'm unpredictable in many ways Going through this bipolar phase I'm a crazy insane hopeless romantic fellow For the rest of my life, I will have a goodbyed hello By you of course...drenched in silent wars, fighting countless battles as the pouring sun pours by fours Things are getting out of course I'm the chariot and you're the horse... Change is doing many challenging chores I'm not feeling good Everything I say I feel misunderstood Every single day Sorry I shied away... I'm not a sunny day I'm the clouds above, Soaking in His love I'm the rain, So refrain From making me cry... I don't know why I try... In a bad state once more I lie face first on the floor Dealing with problems, not all my own...carrying everyone's load towards my abode Stepped on like a door mat - I suppose I'm not the only one that is treading this rocky road