A Gardening Expose

With these lines I’ll relate an intriguing tale of dubious accuracy For I Hope to unveil sordid affairs of more than one conspiracy! Be warned, that though you might be disturbed by the facts I relate? They are the truth and nothing more. This I do categorically state! When they were first perceived, even I found myself somewhat surprised So without more ado, here’s my beguiling tale, so best be advised These facts of conniving, collusion, conspiratorial low down dirt, Are strictly the truth as I’ve uncovered. This I will sincerely assert! Discovered first was the morning blush, sighted on our Rambling Rose, Polly Perkins. What happened during the night, no one really knows, But it caused every beetroot and radish to blush exceedingly red, Regarding suggestive innuendos made of what took place in her bed, And to her spending the night with Mr Lincoln. At least she’d the grace To be embarrassed. This was obvious by the blush that covered her face! It was thought her capers, were the cause of tomatoes to deepen a bright red hue, While tender eggplants, observed to be jealous, turned from green to blue! Next we saw Scarlet Runners and Morning Glories, embraced around a pole, Having been carefully planted far apart, it showed what liberties they stole! As for their brazen exhibition of defiance there was little gall they did lack; Purely by chance we unearthed this twisted liaison taking place behind our back! Then, when we discovered brazen trailing Verbena had crept into Petunia’s bed, We realized things were getting serious. Degenerate debauchery had truly spread, Which was confirmed later when Marigold was seen snuggled close to Daisy. Not only were we astounded, but convinced our gay garden had gone crazy! But Marigold has been seen in many other beds. This bold, shameless hussy Tries her seduction on a variety of vegetables and flowers. She’s never fussy About the company she keeps. Cohabiting with Veronica and Cleome for instance, Though Bearded Iris ignores her capricious ways. Discreet, she keeps her at distance. Along with Ladybird who seeks the company of seductive night scented Stocks, The Ruby Throated Humming Bird pays regular visits to our Salvias and Phlox. Even here there’s jealousy seen when she calls on her select chosen circle of pals, Snubbing Virginia, Pansy, Aster and Black Eyed Susan. Such captivating gals! Seen within our perennial beds are many plants that require close supervision Such as Sweet William. One blatantly inclined to wander, determined on scission. While the haughty but flamboyant, brightly dressed Maltese Cross spreads Her offspring everywhere. Her loose living ways are what a gardener dreads! Like Jacob’s Ladder, whose wanton seedlings distress the more sedate plants And members of more compliant groups - oft overrun by populous sycophants; Resentful they sulk; fade then leave an empty space, which is all too soon occupied By brazen weeds and less restrained species, unless strict controls are applied! Then there’s the Obedient Plant. A flower that prefers its own company when out: Though one less obedient I’ve yet to find! Raised from permissive stock no doubt? Datura who is known to keep close company with Poison Ivy and Stinging Nettle Is bent on running riot! With Aconite - all plants to cause pain and test our mettle! An exception is dear Black Eyed Susan, who blooms when summer is almost done. This welcome sight for tired eyes, stands tall; boldly unafraid of anything or anyone, Exhibits a dash of gaiety when others begin to look tired, drab, woebegone and drear, She adds a certain dignity to the chaotic abandon seen towards the end of the year! Furthermore we mention in passing, the seemingly innocent, Herbaceous Garden: Such goings on! With not so much as “by your leave” or “we beg your pardon!” When one looks at it more closely, here prevails a true hotbed of seething liaisons! Basil being the first we’ll mention that is found seeking closer ties and relations. When others lower their defences, his invasive ways usurp any unguarded spot! Being ever willing to add his two fragrant scents worth to any pot pourri pot: Given a chance will associate with Lavender and Rosemary in aromatic conspiracy, Though he may come to Rue the day should he challenge their proven supremacy! Our prime concern is to keep the various garden beds neat, clean and pristine, By removing any offending plant, if their encroachment offends. Perhaps unseen, We’ll miss an odd weed or absconding plant which strays from its designated site. But one seen is removed, as will all others which by their location is deemed not right! We’ll permit no hanky panky, illicit intrigue, nor allow unruly or risqué behaviour, On such occasions our trusted, stalwart hoe proves our ever ready garden saviour! There are many times the garden appears a seething hotbed of immoral association With wicked alliances fostering a confusing cauldron of flagrant prolific procreation! One might well consider it a rampant breeding ground full of sex and seedy innuendo, For during the first warm days in Spring and summer it arrives at full crescendo! Should one place an ear to the ground to listen closely, one might hear the activity Which takes place around us every day? Nature in gay naiveté exhibits a proclivity Towards promiscuity, which could well bring discomposure to a gardener’s place, Were it not for his deep understanding of Nature’s laws, tempered by tolerant grace Though a garden displays devious contradiction, originating from the damp dingy soil, It brings rewards to a good gardener with ample satisfaction for his unending toil. Rhymer. September 3rd, 2016