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Long poem by David William Breidenthal | Details |

The Inception: God is Alwayz Good -part 1-

Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly
Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I take…take…
When will I take flight?
I’m not one of those multi-taskers…
But I am a risk-taker… 
I’m not a math whiz neither am I a science freak
But, I’m reaching to the peak…to the peak…
Of total success…I’m finally making progress 
I can’t unveil the flavorless fears in my brain…
I got to rip them out of my insides
You whip me like the Romans did to Christ…
You crucified me…selfish, fat, ugly, dirty, little…cravings…
Devour someone else your own size…
Fleeting happiness has come to pass…
Why am I the only one you prize? 
Eyes are on me…
Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly
Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I take…take…
When will I take flight?
Bad reputation rapes me…
I lie in wait in the ruins of my emotional debris
Empty in a vacant moment…
You’re my work of dazzling art…
My cravings keep hunting me down like game
And I-I’m in the death-cart…
Lost…paying the cost…I’m just skin and bones
Lost in burnt paradise…
Trampled down by heartless lies
Delusional dreams taunt me now…
Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly
Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I take…take…
When will I take flight?
Heartbroken…
you can’t fix what has been broken
Jaded Corruption messed me up…
The voices in my head
In my head
In my head
Tell me to give up…
Is that my inner voice from the core of my heart?
Are the demons planning revenge against me? My hope tears apart…
Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly
Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I take…take…
When will I take flight?
What will tomorrow bring? 
I hope sincerely that positivity
Will pour fourth God’s rain instead of this negativity,
Crowning me with sin-infested remedies
Stop spewing out the lies
I’m sick of hearing the endless goodbyes
I said goodnight…I never meant to leave you behind
Why is your heart, beating with fright? Let yourself unwind 
Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly
Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I take…take…
When will I take flight?
Brainwashed…sorrow’s reigning upon me…if only…if only…
The voices in my head will fade away…leaving no room for rejoicing…unfortunately
The silence is brewing chaos in my mind
The peace-abiding angels are calling me…
I must follow the voice at the end of the tunnel and soon, I’ll find…
That it was all in my head…faith, hope and love – set me free
Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly
Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I take…take…
When will I take flight?
Stop ganging up on me, children of the Fallen Angels…
Their nature is pure evil from all angles…
But, they hide it with sugarcoated ecstasy…
Stay away from those…those…
Those fowl creatures…
Listen listen listen to your teachers…
Why would you be head over heels over this demon of sinister features?
I walked away with satisfaction slipping out of my mouth…
There’s things I cannot explain…my addictions take over me…
You smoked me out like a rotten cigarette…I’m north and you’re south
Beauty is full of flaws these days…Feeling strange in my skin…where shall I flee?
Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly


Long poem by Isaiah Zerbst | Details |

The Lily Maid of Astolat

The knight of knights, Sir Lancelot,
From far away in Camelot,
Went by a way that he knew not
And thus, by chance, spied Astolat
With sunset's gleam upon her tow'rs:
T'was there he met the maid Elaine,
With hair as golden fields of grain-
A lily in the springtime rain-
The fairest of the flow'rs.

With her he left his fearsome shield;
That of her brother, Torre did wield:
At last to her desire did yield
To wear her favour on the field-
A sleeve of red with pearls.
Then to the diamond joust away,
Lavaine and he rode to the fray,
Departing at the break of day
To fight with kings and earls.

She took the shield and lightly step't
Up where she watched as off they leapt,
And there the mighty emblem kept
Beside the bed in which she slept;
The mystic azure lions traced:
She never left it there, it seemed;
She watched by day, at night she dreamed;
She woke each morn as sunlight gleamed
From it to light her lovely face.

Sir Lancelot, wounded, won the prize-
His shield still mirrors her azure eyes;
Not knowing if he lives or dies,
Nor knows she yet the place he lies.
But lo! There comes the knight Gawain;
He bears the prize to he who won,
Not finding him, his quest is done;
The prize he leaves, both mount and run-
But she to find where he is lain.

Sir Torre and she their horses drave,
'Till long at last they found a cave,
The knight within, and near the grave:
Elaine her greatest efforts gave
To save him from death's gaping door.
Through dawn or twilight lightly glides
The lily maid to where he hides
And by his wasted form abides,
His olden glories to restore.

Some months had passed, and whole once more
He offered half his treasure store,
A kingdom's land, or three, or four,
But none of this she cared ought for-
She wanted him, and him alone:
But no, another held his heart.
E'en though it tore hers right apart
Without a glance did he depart;
He left her there to groan.

Without a parting kiss goodbye
She sulked about, but would not cry;
She sicker grew as days crawled by
Until she knew that she would die,
And of a heart that broke:
She sang "A Song of Love and Death"
With wondrous voice but halting breath;
Her heart in song she openeth-
Of never-dying love she spoke.

"My love undying e'er shall be
Though love has been the death of me:
Though sweet is love in company,
One cannot love, the other flee-
I now depart to sweetest bliss.
I wish I knew, but I cannot
If death is sweet as love is not,
When all my pain I have forgot-
As death bestows his frozen kiss."

Her final words of love she wrote
And sealed them in a little note
To place beside her in the boat
Which she desired her body float
To far away in Camelot:
Then with a pretty little sigh
Her soul to realms unknown did fly-
In such a manner chanced to die
The lily maid of Astolat.

Bathed in the misty morning light,
Arrayed in dress of purest white,
Boat decked about with black samite,
Her letter clasped to bosom tight,
A lily close beside it borne,
She drifted down the silent stream;
As if but lost in pleasant dreams,
For on her fairest face was seen
The faintest smile, bright as morn.

No sound of drip or rush or splash
Was heard within that samite sash,
Naught caused that bark to rock or dash;
The waves becalmed their muffled crash
As by them slipped the lily maid:
For all who saw were sore amazed
And soundlessly they paused and gazed
'Till Camelot's walls the boat had grazed,
At which it stopped and firmly stayed.

King Arthur saw her queenly bed,
The letter by her golden head;
To all the court her words he read,
And this is what the missive said:
"My noble lord, Sir Lancelot,
No parting kiss to me you gave,
Therefore I came from o'er the grave-
Bestow it now my soul to save.
The lily maid of Astolat."

Sir Lancelot, heartbroken too
Knelt by her side her will to do,
His arms about her shoulders threw
And to his own her lips he drew-
'Twas love by love at last returned.
But love, once lost cannot be found,
And life, once lost is claimed by ground
That wraps his heartless arms around
A heart that once with passion burned.

Above her grave a statue stands,
A note and lily in her hands
Which says to all of distant lands,
"Love, e'er your loved has loosed the bands
That tie them to this life and breath;
Love, e'er the storm has swept away
The pure, the good of yesterday,
And left in place but lifeless clay
When love is scorned and lost to death."



{Written by Isaiah Zerbst on the nineteenth of August, in the year of Our Lord, two thousand and fourteen;
Published on the twenty-first of the same.}


Long poem by Louis Borgo | Details |

Why Question No Question Question Is Now

I was born on death of arrival on birth.7:01 Am,  one of the coldest days  to record,
I battle for my life for every beat to every breath I was born premature.

Being born premature I was born with learning and mental illness and despite 
Of the disadvantage I broke barriers of stereotypies and prejudices that would follow.

Why Question that it is a recession does it mean mental illness rise? 
No Question the research from
ashbournenewstelegraph co ukHomeRecession worst, blog.atoshealthcaretagof
recession on mental health, thefiscaltimes, RecessionsSilent Mental Health... would include That facts does not lie, 
Question is now who is listening. (those R website just without dot coms) 

Why Question in the headline it’s the mental ill that’s making headlines
 No Question they all ask for help put the system ignored or failure report those demeanor read between the lines…
 Question is now could that have been your family or friends so why make fun of the mental ill to feel inferior? 

Why Question they say that people with too much education is at a higher risk of become mental ill? 
No Question they say that mental ill can’t have weapons if so then why is it 1.5 million roughly in the military that has sometime mental ill with weapons? 
 Question is now that Bill Clinton stated on Cnn that gun laws will never go away because (forgive me if I miss quoted)  the voters don't hold the people they voted in office to there word to do so.

Why Question that a person got to do a violent act before you determine that there mental ill and if that is so why do we have prisoner that could be mental ill
 or, is it one in same being and state from a television host “to do violence you must be some type of mental ill” it would be simply, if he ask the first question I stated then fumble with his words No question my doctor said if you are depression more then three day then in there book a person is mental ill 
Question is now why have smoking been written in constitution or some states and you know what type of smoking I’m talking about so who is to blame.

Why Question that the medicine they give us that can make you aggressive, more violent and sometime even suicidal but when go to sue them it was not enough evidence to prove but ten years later you can’t sue because the statue of limitation but time has ran out
No Question a comedian made a joke about the same thing was it a joke or was it a movement you tell me much luv to him! 
Question is now is if a person life is more valuable  then a buck if not why is  manufaction  a G over one prescription not knowing all side effects.

Why Question what is the debt ceiling as well as the glass ceiling seems to be something to keep minority from stepping in the next class because it all revolved around money and who is usually get short stick? (the poor) 
 No Question food stamps being cut, health care require and we have been in a war or wars since I been born I guess my generation was a victim of society the Lost Generation indeed,
no wonder inmates believe government own them. Now question does this facts lie? act lies if so why is history books rewritten in college every semester? Question it now

Why Question in the bible it speaks to the effects things will never be heard or seen would happen
(1 st Corinthians 2: 9)  I paraphrase that….. No question Jeremiah 8-9 once again paraphrasing  the people that became of power and knowledge used it in the wrong way and god later destroy the city
 Now question god spoke lyrically and God creation us in his own imagine and I have research that a person can come out of depression naturally but does the doctor tell you that? 

Once again it is a small percent of mental ill that does violence and most time they are the victims. I have giving my life to science I have giving my blood for 10 years and im only 25 years old my doctor told me by year 2020 it should be cure for my disease being born which such a disability may you know I gave my life to science so child like me will never know of harass words to endure.....

I will probably die before 30 or 40 because of malpractice and my disease Why question, No Question, Question is Now what is the definition of crazy and that of mental ill? 
My last statement is, I am the not only person that speak out for mental illness October is mental ill awareness would you like to say you spoke for reason? better yet chance.... 
(a poet and still running)


Long poem by David William Breidenthal | Details |

The Insane Lane

You healed me…you saved me with a kind, kind heart of sympathy
With well-spoken words (and you deleted the history of my endless rage)
Of empathetic wisdom and positivity…erasing the negativity and rehearsing accord in my mind of past grief and poverty
My tension releases like a billion birds (out of his ribcage)

You dragged me down with bad news…
You had everything to lose…
I had so little to win for…
But, you made me have this bruise
In my heart…you hit me to the core…
With cheerfulness and affection 
In my young, hopeless, genuine heart,
You are my illuminated night – show me some direction!
I was that dim light bulb from the start

Catch me before I fall
To tell you the truth, I have tried to stand tall
And give it my all…just answer my call
My heart is pounding in appall

Pound to the rhythm of my heart x8

Oh, I am going insane
Anxiety and curiosity brewing in my brain

Going insane…
Driving in another dark lane
You were loved
In the bottom of my heart
You were in chains in my heart
I tried to smile bright tonight
I wish you were gone in my life
I tried so hard…to take wing in the light
I wish you the best in life…
I pray for peace to murder the strife

You’re my – 
You’re my sunrise
You are – 
You are the one I prize
I am – 
I am the sunset in your eyes
I am – 
I am the nightfall before your eyes…
I unveil my beauty and I memorize
Every word you utter…
Your words – as smooth as butter 

Catch me before I fall
To tell you the truth, I have tried to stand tall
And give it my all…just answer my call
My heart is pounding in appall

Pound to the rhythm of my heart x8

Oh, I am going insane
Anxiety and curiosity brewing in my brain

And now I’m…
Now I’m…
I can’t say it…
I’m chained to this pit…
Of shame…
Without a name…

Going insane…
Driving in another dark lane
You were loved
In the bottom of my heart
You were in chains in my heart
I tried to smile bright tonight
I wish you were gone in my life
I tried so hard…to take wing in the light
I wish you the best in life…
I pray for peace to murder the strife

I’ve lost the race, 
I haven’t passed the test
But I’ll keep trying (trying)
Though, I’m frankly dying x3 (flying)
I’ll make it up to you, radiant friend of mine
Wipe off the grime from my face…this anger and envy becomes serpentine
To my heart…to my young, once-innocent heart

Pound to the rhythm of my heart x4
I tried to keep pace with the rhythm of my heart
Pound to the rhythm of my heart x4
I’m rolling in the deathcart…into the abyss, I go…take heart, foes that drag me down to the ground heartlessly… vicious night hunts me down like I’m its next prey…I pray x3 my life won’t transform into strife…blooming blasphemy in my young, anguish-whelmed heart 

Catch me before I fall
To tell you the truth, I have tried to stand tall
And give it my all…just answer my call
My heart is pounding in appall

Pound to the rhythm of my heart x8

Oh, I am going insane
Anxiety and curiosity brewing in my brain

And now I’m…
Now I’m…
I can’t say it…
I’m chained to this pit…
Of shame…
Without a name…

Going insane…
Driving in another dark lane
You were loved
In the bottom of my heart
You were in chains in my heart
I tried to smile bright tonight
I wish you were gone in my life
I tried so hard…to take wing in the light
I wish you the best in life…though it slits you like a jagged knife
I tried to search for you with all of my remaining might
I pray for peace to murder the strife…to end this miserable, chaotic life
Death isn’t in this grand land of ours 

Close the corridors of your blue eyes
Tell the truth and sift out the lies
I was black and lonely,
But, now I’m white and carrying with me the attitude of gratitude
I’m wearing an upside down frown of sunlit glee
In my heart…you hit me to the core…
But, you made me have this bruise
I had so much to win for…
You had nothing to lose…
You uplifted me with your good news

Your priceless words gave me ecstatic happiness
Your helping hands brought me out of the abysssssss
I was gravity-bound in the chambers of my mind…I was once numb…and she spit me out like tasteless, gross gum
Can’t help, but wish for God’s kingdom to come x4
You dug deep into my soul of anguish and cheer - thank you kindly for your empathetic words of wisdom


Long poem by Gina Young | Details |

Mating of the Rich and Famous

I once walked into my backyard
and found two slugs mating in a bucket
I had just learned how slugs go about mating, 
or trust-I would have been rightly confused

Here hangs a long line of slime, almost a foot long
and then halfway down the thread of slime, it begins to twist, to look like a strand of DNA
I am fascinated beyond comprehension
What am I seeing, I mean I KNOW what Im seeing- But WHAT am I seeing??

These two gelatinous creatures, that I admit Ive never given much thought to before
are forming the most intricate, delicate dance of fornication
This is too much for my mind,
and so I just sat and looked on in awe...this lasted for awhile so I unfortunately wasnt there for the seperation.

Now, Im lost in the realm of procreation, its consumed in my head every time I go back and imagine those delicate slugs.

Cats. Big, small, lions, cheetahs, tigers..I believe they all mate the same way. 
A female goes into estrus, and males come rolling in from far and wide. Marking every guidepost along the way, announcing his arrival.
The Lioness lays comfortably in the shade, waiting to be presented her King.
And the brawl ensues. Maybe hours or days. Screaming and slashing, boasting and threatening.
And finally when the lesser males are too worn out, too ashamed, given up, deflated...
The big man with all the prowess grabs his woman with his teeth, mounting her, her resisting..testing if she approves.
They are loud and vicious when they finally get down to it. And persistent.
Days go by, they barely eat, they are barely concious of their surroundings, hormones driving them.
They mate, they rest, they fight, they mate, they rest.
And then its over just like nothing ever happened. And shes left alone to gestate the next generation.

Birds. Birds vary...dogs and cats can be predictable when it comes to making babies.
But birds have different rules. Alot of birds mate for life and are monogomous...better than humans at it too.
Swans are particularly faithful, and heartbroken when their mates die.
There is a type of male bird that will spend hours upon hours building elaborate, beautiful nests,
collecting pretty, colorful things...making a comfortable space to get it on with his lady.
And then the females browse the different nests looking for the perfect living space for a very important event.
Some birds dance, they show off every beautiful move they have to earn the heart and eggs of a woman.
And we all know peacocks. The males are burdened with being beautiful, trying to catch a pretty birds eye. Quite opposite of us peoples, huh?

I could go on...but just a few more points on procreation.
Penguins, males keeping the eggs, almost starving to death to make sure they hatch.
Crocodiles burying their eggs just offshore, and just waiting to take out predators looking for yummy croc eggs.
Octopi will do some craziness where the female starves herself to death to make sure her young hatch alive.
Male seahorses defying everything we know about life, carry the babies....if they can, why...??
Orcas will nurse for up to 5 years, even after another calf has been born. The females never leave the family.
Female hyenas have a 7 inch clitoris which they give birth out of, Im grateful to not be a hyena.
The strongest, largest shark in the womb will cannibalize its siblings. Survival of the fittest.

So now Humans.
We have hormones like all the other animals, we act on them, we procreate.
But its almost as if we do this slyly. Not everyone obviously-not aimed at people fighting to have a child.
We say were making love, connecting, feeling. But how much is truly lust, hormones and instinct?
We have similarities of all animals in our mating rituals, whether babies are in mind or not.
Men act tough, or try to look so slick. Women flirt and dance and wear bright shiny objects, like shes trying to lure a magpie not a partner.
And we have our fights, we get vicious and physical, we fight and we penetrate, fight and penetrate. 
And then almost always someone walks away.

I always come back to the slugs.
Where there seems to be no pretension, no need for competition.
I could be so completly wrong about so many things.
But those slugs just seem to be doing something right.


Long poem by David William Breidenthal | Details |

Utopia

You’re an angel of light (in my sight)
Well, I know you are unforgotten in my memory
And, darling, everything will be alright - You can fly…but I’m incompetent…I am  ashamed to say goodbye! 
Your moonlit halo shines gleams ever so delightedly 
And, darling, just let go of worry and take wing from on high…I can’t deny that I think very highly of you and I’m obliged to see you, accepting that you’re a bold leader, learning to modestly fly
Well, I know you are unforgotten in my memory
You’re an angel of light (in my sight)

You and I depart 
Like clouds in the aqua-blue sky…I know you’ve been ponging in your own emotional mess…but you got to make progress 
I let you fall apart…I regret it…I shatter like glass…who can repair my heartbroken soul of temporary distress?

You’re an angel of light (in my sight)
Well, I know you are unforgotten in my memory
And, darling, everything will be alright…
Your moonlit halo shines gleams ever so delightedly 

I can tell you were hurt to the core from the start – 
But, I’ll pick you up from the floor
I’ll give you another chance…for you’re my sunrise…
Let God’s therapeutic rain pour

You’re an angel of light (in my sight)
Well, I know you are unforgotten in my memory
And, darling, everything will be alright…
Your moonlit halo gleams ever so delightedly 

Let love and hope shower relief upon you…just roll the dice…
You’re my angel of light…I was your living sacrifice…
I was walking on thin ice until I met you…
You’re beautiful in every angle and I can’t help, but daydream when I look into your universe eyes…please don’t be doused in dismay

You’re an angel of light (in my sight)
Well, I know you are unforgotten in my memory
And, darling, everything will be alright…
Your moonlit halo gleams ever so delightedly 

I tried to keep pace with your cheerful spirits, but I’ve been left without a trace and my spirits are gravity-bound because I feel like a disgrace
Oooh, but there’s a Utopia in store for you and I to shine on…the lies covers up all the lies…the hello’s of yesterday’s tomorrow dismissed the goodbyes of tomorrow’s yesterday…
Tell me why I should get over you…because you’re my saving grace…and just in case you were wondering about me, I’m feeling good enough and I’m under your enchanting spell…then, I look up at your appealing face…
Your face is shining bright when you walk into the spotlight…my heart is beating with upbeat ryhtm… your auras are dazzling to stare at…

You’re an angel of light (in my sight)
Well, I know you are unforgotten in my memory
And, darling, everything will be alright…
Your moonlit halo gleams ever so delightedly 

You and I depart 
Like clouds in the aqua-blue sky…I know you’ve been ponging in your own emotional mess…but you got to make progress 
I let you fall apart…I regret it…I shatter like glass…who can repair my heartbroken soul of temporary distress?
I can tell you were hurt to the core from the start – 
But, I’ll pick you up from the floor
I’ll give you another chance…for you’re my sunrise…
Let God’s therapeutic rain pour
Let love and hope shower relief upon you…just roll the dice…
You’re my angel of light…I was your living sacrifice…
I was walking on thin ice until I met you…
You’re beautiful in every angle and I can’t help, but daydream when I look into your universe eyes…please don’t be doused in dismay
I tried to keep pace with your cheerful spirits, but I’ve been left without a trace and my spirits are gravity-bound because I feel like a disgrace
Oooh, but there’s a Utopia in store for you and I to shine on…the lies covers up all the lies…the hello’s of yesterday’s tomorrow dismissed the goodbyes of tomorrow’s yesterday…
Tell me why I should get over you…because you’re my saving grace…and just in case you were wondering about me, I’m feeling good enough and I’m under your enchanting spell…then, I look up at your appealing face…
Your face is shining bright when you walk into the spotlight…my heart is beating with upbeat rhythm… your auras are dazzling to stare at…but you're as mysterious as a black, orange and green-eyed cat


Long poem by Meredith Manley | Details |

Frozen Soul Within Her Heart

    Frozen Soul Within Her Heart-  
	  She's Terrified to Feel  

Her shadowed past still haunts her-
each night as every light-
fades back into the darkness,
as ghostly beings rise.
She gave her heart to someone,
and promised ne'er to change,
the feelings that belonged to him,
and ne'er her heart to age.
Yet in her own desires,
and every wond'ring dream-
the aspirations that she felt,
would only cause him pain.
He swore he'd never leave her,
and that he'd love her true-
that every day he'd wait for her,
and no one else would do.
Within a year that promise he'd broke,
as he- lost in his passion-
danced and wooed another girl,
and soon was holy wedded.
As any foolish girl would do-
she continued to hold on to-
the memories and the broken dreams,
and the promise of “I do.” 
Looking back she now can see,
that neither of them were,
perfect for the other-
but the feelings still remain.
And truly in all thankfulness,
she escaped a nightmare vow-
But still it often feels,
as if his own opinion,
left her feeling as if-
no one really wants her.
And in reacting to the pain-
the broken hearts and dreams,
the bitter end of being wanted-
and loved for who she is,
she seems to be the girl that leaves,
that can't remain in place-
because if chance should open her heart-
she's terrified of what that might mean.
If she remains in a single place,
and watches his children be born,
or slowly recognize the fact,
that another is creating a heart-storm,
she's terrified that she'll learn to feel-
and have to once again,
give way to emotions bigger-
that she won't be able to reign in.
she's scared that if she'd stayed
she'd forget to learn to fly-
that she may lose the desire-
to escape the poisoned night.
That if she'd stay the constant sight-
of friends so close to her,
will eventually get lost among the thoughts,
of wanting something more to be.
Already she's been used and tossed,
a toy thrown in the wind,
a passing thought of shape and form,
to ne'er be thought of again.
Yet, even beyond that there are a few-
who seem to follow her every move,
who seem to wish that she was theirs',
and that “their” story would be the Truth.
she's scared that if she'll stay,
these emotions will actually get in her way-
and those people who she calls-
her friends and respects,
will become so much more
than any of that.
As crazy or weird-
as any of that may be,
she's scared that she'll mess up-
the friends she has around her.
That she will become this stalking girl,
the ex's worst nightmare in real life unfurled.
Time is said to heal the wounds,
how much time- no one really knows.  
Her darkest deepest secrets, 
her hidden- longing fears-
are silent as the grave,
yet always whispering in her ear.
She doesn't want to be a toy,
a object for the rest of her life,
an image that guys can idolize,
at a “never commit to” pace. 
She's scared that she'll end up,
lonely and lost and old,
the old spinster, old maid, old friend,
that watches her siblings kids.
As friend after friend,
or acquaintances too,
readily pair up and leave,
She's left to watch their progress,
and wonder when it will be 'me'.
She's so deeply deeply lonely,
the pain inside her chest,
is palpable and tangible,
although she keeps it hid.
And all of these emotions,
are locked up inside of her,
no one knows that she's so lost,
or confused as some don't believe her to be.
She's terribly lost, confused, and small,
and is it so wrong to want it all?
To be loved and touched and thought about,
above all others and cared for throughout?
Maybe someday, when she's 74-
sitting in a rocker outside of her door,
her 'lonely' path won't seem as bad,
as it does this night- as she sits on her bed,
and wonders and waits and wishes away,
but all of this pain- seems is her permanent mate. 
And so she's left to simply breathe-
and fight and claw each day-
to find the strength to continue-
as she desperately cries and prays.
And beneath all of the surface, 
below the sunny sky-
frozen soul within her heart,
she's terrified to feel.

~Meredith A. Manley


Long poem by Timothy Jacks | Details |

My Grandfathers Dying Wish

See problems they no worry Timothy
He was raised by his Great Grandmother
One day she taught him
Miho you can make life beautiful or ugly
Work hard, find a woman who has a strong back
Beauty fades it doesn’t last long
Now let me tell you 
A woman with a strong back may not be your perfect companion
Times are changing, I think Faith is more important these days
I say okay Grandma, can I have the horachata now that you made me
No hush up! You can have it when I’m finished talking
Timothy come your poor Grandfather wanted you to have this
It is his Journal and I have never read out of it
She hands it to me
I am struck by it’s cover, it is brown and plain
Yet it spoke to me by it’s elegant style
These words were printed on the cover “Blanco Vendetta”
I was drawn and pulled in untill I was covered by the spell
The first page I open too it says “My first Mil Besos”
The Temptess that blew my heart away
I turn to page 33
It says “The story of an Apache Warrior”
There are no rules to an Apache Warrior when it comes to fighting
He says if you are my enemy I don’t care how but I’m gonna kill you
Page 41 is like a fist full of words thrown across the page
Barrio boxing, The protection of the Shield of Faith
Brokenhearted for my careless speech has left her heartbroken
Strengthened by Love “Amor”
Nourished by the sunshine in her hand
There is healing in its beams
Blessed by her presence Del Dios I am Greatful
I’m like Grandpa what did you say wrong
Then these words come to me
Give her your full attention when she speaks to you
Because the Heart of the Wise studies how to answer
So I close it and my finger brushes a bookmark
It’s the Last page
It says To: “Timothy my son who is as mighty as an army”
I Thank you for the Greatest Gift
For the Greatest Gifts are as small as your small hand that touched me
I plant these seeds and they will take root and grow because you are good ground
Timothy let me say That without you I would of never found my Faith in GOD
Listen for it is your Grandfather who is dead and speechless
Timothy you see the good in everything
And I know you will understand my words clearly
If a man gives you his word
Promise me not to plan your future on it
And if you give your word my son
Do everything in your Power to fulfill it
AND NEVER Promise more than you can deliver 
For it is better to put out more than you promised
Everyman is considered unwise when he appears foolish
I wish I could give you some insight about women
But your Great Grandmother may help you better than I can
But never timothy, Never be quick to fall in Love 
Or give your heart to a woman
Listen carefully to her words when she speaks to you
Cherish Her give her your full undue attention 
Because the Heart of the Wise studies how to answer
Love your neighbors as yourself
And do not strive against another man
If he has done nothing wrong to offend you
AS much as it is possible live peacefully with all men
And it is okay for you to speak these things with your Great Grandmother
She is a very wise and God-fearing woman
Amor take the greatest care of her, I Love you Son
Timothy when the time comes to avenge my death
Hit harder then you ever have before
But not in a Duel son, not like an open Vendetta
Marry his daughter Maria
The one who is pretty and Two years younger than you
Oh! He will suffer greatly!
And it will kill him to know that I chose this way to repay him
And remember son to be ready to fight any man at the drop of a hat


Long poem by S.T Nchindo | Details |

I Pray For Mother

 Taken from the Novel, ''The Thirteenth Year''  By S.T Nchindo

Dear mother
I seek no special day
I need no remainder
I set no alarm
To bring you to thoughts
Each day, I know you are gone
My heart soars with sadness and fear,
Secret tears still flow


Your departure was so soon
My desire was to see you each day
Oh, mother!
Does it really have to be you?
Death, depart from Mothers
They are irreplaceable
Life so special
Our home we shared,
Is never the same

Thy blood, in my vein doth flow
My gratitude, thus remain eternally
Thy labour, I had food
Thy love, I walked with no shame
Thy understanding, I had education
Oh, mother!
You were simply the best


Mother
You gave life to me
In your shadow, I had shade
You called me Mother.
For I carried Grandmother’s name
Oh, mother!
It is a feeling well cherished
It felt so great
Who will call me that again?
I forbid my thoughts to go deep
For the deeper it goes, the more it hurts
I had solace,
For your voice never parted with my ears
In my dreams, you remain featured

My sister and I are heartbroken
However, we are all grown up,
Death has no right
You passed on,
No sight of your grandchildren
Could you have hanged around for a while?
They do something for you
Fetch water or call you grandma

My spirit soars
You aren’t returning
My time is fleeting
My journey just begun
Soon will be joining
Aren’t afraid of death no more
For my journey's end is certain
There, I shall find shelter
Jesus, my Sheppard
Will lead me home
My eye shall delight by thy sight
Talking and laughing
Just like we used to 

Death is victorious,
Yes, for now.
The stage, so irreparable
Even to God, it is irreversible.
It is not well with my soul
It aren’t easy, lesson ought to start
To miss you
To live without you
Surely, my spirit is willing.

                                                
Even after life is gone Mother
In my heart, your unconditional love lingers on.
Even after, you have left my sight
My thoughts, your light shines brightly
Even after you are gone
In my memory, you forever live on

Because!
In life, I loved you mother,
In death, I still love you
I have done my part
I have spoken to God
He answered saying,
“I only take the best.”

  My lesson is complete
  Your life is celebrated Mother
I have peace in my heart
For I am reconciled by God’s mercy
My father in heaven comforted me
Now I know you are happy there
The pain I felt
The pain that tortured me
Was just fleeting
It’s never coming back
Brief was our meeting
And brief was my pain 

You departed with all my tears
With all my strength
With all my hope
And with all my faith
 God gave me a thousand reasons to smile
Your life, is a life well lived
Rest in peace dear mother,
It was the will of God
Who am I to question him?
I never did when you were given to me
Somehow, I knew this day would come

I have grown, I know
Split salt is never all gathered
Split milk is never gathered
I vow to carry thy love
Thy desire for me I carry along
I cannot bring back the golden years
I have lost life so precious.
Heaven has gained.
Farewell dear mother
Our meeting is certain
Our meeting is soon

To my God, and my King 
I honour you
You called her to peace
Away from this world of confusion
In that land, hearts will never break 
This I know	
For the bible tells me so


Long poem by S.T Nchindo | Details |

I Pray For Mother

 Taken from the Novel, ''The Thirteenth Year''  By S.T Nchindo

Dear mother
I seek no special day
I need no remainder
I set no alarm
To bring you to thoughts
Each day, I know you are gone
My heart soars with sadness and fear,
Secret tears still flow


Your departure was so soon
My desire was to see you each day
Oh, mother!
Does it really have to be you?
Death, depart from Mothers
They are irreplaceable
Life so special
Our home we shared,
Is never the same

Thy blood, in my vein doth flow
My gratitude, thus remain eternally
Thy labour, I had food
Thy love, I walked with no shame
Thy understanding, I had education
Oh, mother!
You were simply the best


Mother
You gave life to me
In your shadow, I had shade
You called me Mother.
For I carried Grandmother’s name
Oh, mother!
It is a feeling well cherished
It felt so great
Who will call me that again?
I forbid my thoughts to go deep
For the deeper it goes, the more it hurts
I had solace,
For your voice never parted with my ears
In my dreams, you remain featured

My sister and I are heartbroken
However, we are all grown up,
Death has no right
You passed on,
No sight of your grandchildren
Could you have hanged around for a while?
They do something for you
Fetch water or call you grandma

My spirit soars
You aren’t returning
My time is fleeting
My journey just begun
Soon will be joining
Aren’t afraid of death no more
For my journey's end is certain
There, I shall find shelter
Jesus, my Sheppard
Will lead me home
My eye shall delight by thy sight
Talking and laughing
Just like we used to 

Death is victorious,
Yes, for now.
The stage, so irreparable
Even to God, it is irreversible.
It is not well with my soul
It aren’t easy, lesson ought to start
To miss you
To live without you
Surely, my spirit is willing.

                                                
Even after life is gone Mother
In my heart, your unconditional love lingers on.
Even after, you have left my sight
My thoughts, your light shines brightly
Even after you are gone
In my memory, you forever live on

Because!
In life, I loved you mother,
In death, I still love you
I have done my part
I have spoken to God
He answered saying,
“I only take the best.”

  My lesson is complete
  Your life is celebrated Mother
I have peace in my heart
For I am reconciled by God’s mercy
My father in heaven comforted me
Now I know you are happy there
The pain I felt
The pain that tortured me
Was just fleeting
It’s never coming back
Brief was our meeting
And brief was my pain 

You departed with all my tears
With all my strength
With all my hope
And with all my faith
 God gave me a thousand reasons to smile
Your life, is a life well lived
Rest in peace dear mother,
It was the will of God
Who am I to question him?
I never did when you were given to me
Somehow, I knew this day would come

I have grown, I know
Split salt is never all gathered
Split milk is never gathered
I vow to carry thy love
Thy desire for me I carry along
I cannot bring back the golden years
I have lost life so precious.
Heaven has gained.
Farewell dear mother
Our meeting is certain
Our meeting is soon

To my God, and my King 
I honour you
You called her to peace
Away from this world of confusion
In that land, hearts will never break 
This I know	
For the bible tells me so


Long Poems