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Long Depression Poems

Long Depression Poems. Below are the most popular long Depression by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Depression poems by poem length and keyword.

See also: Famous Long Poems

Long Poems
Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

How Time Flies

Intro/read aloud:
You deserve a bro hug and a friendly pat...
That's the spirit - keep going forward 
You're getting back of track...I'll try to encourage you without acting awkward...
I leave your side
Without a word...
I can't help, but hide
How time flies...how I fly...
I hear your cries and I don't know why...
I am a caged bird...bird...bird...

Verse 1: 
When I go to sleep,
I have visions that are oh so deep
I feel like the walls are closing in on me
The walls...the walls... 
I hear them calling...
My spirit falls...falls...falls...away in rainbow-blotched walls
Pound to the rhythm of my heart
Pound to the-pound to the-pound to the rhythm of my heart
And I hope you won't tear it apart...
I wanna move on 
I wanna go forward and live my dream
From dusk to dawn,
I will be on a joyous team of good self-esteem 

Refrain: 
B-b-b-body quake 
I was born a dancer in a dawn's wake (a sudden realization that you are gifted as a dancer)
B-b-b-body quake
Quit hating and start loving for everyone's sake

Pre-chorus: 
Anxiety works me up 
But, I won't give up 
Gravity pulls me down
But, I won't be discouraged and wear an upside down frown
Upside...upside...
Down...down...
Frown...frown....

Chorus (rap): 
How time flies...(x3)
I remember in my past...when happiness seemed like it never last 
I remember in my past...
That I had confidence with no end or it seemed at first 
I saw how it morphed into negativity so fast - I've gone through so much in the past...in the past...in the past...
So I'm starting to live in the present
To love life and live it to the fullest extent 
I repent of my faults and I want to forgive myself
You shouldn't put yourself down too...be true to yourself...
Recently, I became a Positive Poe, so be courteous and don't be negative - at least I'm not the best or the worst 
Angry at the labels in society...
That make us feel worthy or rather shitty...
Burning in flames...
Burning...burning...
How time flies...flies...
Jealousy doesn't hurt me this time - I still go through my lows and highs...
Lows, lows and highs, highs 
How time flies...flies...
How time flies...(x3)

Verse 2:
Don't wanna be called vile names...
Vile...names...
How time flies...flies...
You're shouting while I'm quiet
As the midnight grave...
I'm a night owl, I do growl 
But, for the most part, I behave and be brave
I hear the hyenas howl...
In my mind's eye 
Eye, eye, I can't deny 
Nor can I make up a white lie...
B-b-b-body quake 
I was born a dancer in a dawn's wake (a sudden realization that you are gifted as a dancer)
B-b-b-body quake
Quit hating and start loving for everyone's sake
I can be confident
I guarantee it and I must admit 
I was always meant
To be a hit.....even if I'm not, I will use my wit and not throw a child's fit

Refrain
Pre-chorus
Chorus 

Verse 3:
I throw a childish little fit
Self-control was hard to manage just a bit
I get angry and I cuss
Yes, I regret my fowl fuss...
Fretful rain falls...falls...
From my eyes since I last saw your goodbye's...
Boy, how time flies...
How time flies...
How...time...flies...
I'm trying to sleep in bed 
But, I feel this utter dread
Insomnia is killing me softly
My conditions are harming me
My body can dance in zigzags
My mind is humble, but my mouth brags
I was dancing like a swinging swagger (someone who is swag and dances like Michael Jackson haha)
I wince in pain, but I grin it all away...I smile during hardship...I'm a doer, not only a talker...
How time flies...how time flies...
Flies...oh my word...
I'm so so so so absurd 

Refrain
Pre-chorus
Chorus 

Concise Chorus: 
Burning in flames...
Burning...burning...
How time flies...flies...
Jealousy doesn't hurt me this time - I still go through my lows and highs...
Lows, lows and highs, highs 
How time flies...flies...
How time flies...and it makes us warm or cold 
Be bold and just do what we're told 
Rejoice and be glad...don't let out our screams and sorrow 
That naughty sorrow
Of yesterday's tomorrow 
Cries out to us, telling us depression lies...
In our ears; then, we departed and go our separate ways...I regret those goodbye's 

Verse 4:
Don't wanna be called vile names...
Vile...names...
How time flies...flies...
You're shouting while I'm quiet
As the midnight grave...
I'm a night owl, I do growl 
But, for the most part, I behave and be brave
I hear the hyenas howl...
In my mind's eye 
Eye, eye, I can't deny 
Nor can I make up a white lie...
Commercials of bliss...
Fulfill my eyesight in this abstract abyss
Turn off the phone of alone
Give me the box and I'll shut down the television of happy-go-lucky, sugar-coated vision...
Happy-go-lucky...
I want to be happy...
Happy...happy...
For real...and it's no big deal how I feel...
God's Word in mind...it's my appeal, so turn the wheel of time
Watch time unwind tonight
Tonight...tonight...

Concise Chorus: 
Burning in flames...
Burning...burning...
How time flies...flies...
Jealousy doesn't hurt me this time - I still go through my lows and highs...
Lows, lows and highs, highs 
How time flies...flies...
Don't wanna be called vile names...
Vile...names...
How time flies...flies...
How time flies...you can sympathize with my lows and highs...
You're shouting while I'm quiet
As the midnight grave...
I'm a night owl, I do growl 
But, for the most part, I behave and be brave
I hear the hyenas howl...
In my mind's eye 
Eye, eye, I can't deny 
Nor can I make up a white lie...

Pre-chorus
Refrain
Pre-chorus 

Bridge: 
I'm trying to sleep in bed 
But, I feel this utter dread
I will try to be happy instead
Maybe I need to get back on those nighttime meds
I tried drinking tea that would work for sleep...but when I close my eyes, I keep seeing blotches of greens, yellows, blues oranges, reds 
And other colors I can't think up on right now
People might think it weird...because I'm a weird person...I was wired this unique way somehow...

Ohhhhh ahhhhhh 
Ehhhhh ooooooooh
Mmmmhmmm hmmm 

Read aloud (conclusion): 
I beam on stage, I am a free bird out of his cage
Forget about the timid rage that I feel...are we on the same page?
Page...page...page...
Boy, how time flies...
I'll never wave goodbye to your replies...
Hell no I would never do that...mhm! I'm not that mean, so here's my Philadelphia to you 
Sorry for being so heartless...
I'm so sorry for putting you through all this distress
Because of the way I was feeling back then...
Depression swept over me and it will again...

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

After All is Said and Done

I wrote this random rap song just yesterday! Have a blast, reading it! :D
"We shall all be like magnets,
Connecting to God's Laws in perfect symmetry 
We shall all shine as the sun,
Glorifying the son of God in perfection and ecstasy 
We shall all master the self,
Harvesting God's enlightenment, taking wing of our destiny" - a preacher poet once said...I'm afraid he's sleeping in his holy bed (hahaha sorry lame joke...no anger I should provoke) 

{INTRO} love isn't a game of cheats and greets 
Beats me that you treat me like leftover beets - How discreet like hidden chocolate neat treats 
You deserve a punch in the face with a trace of these sick beats played in repeat...tap your feet to my feats   
I wear a grimace on my face 
Cuz I've been face to face with the disgrace before me - that's me 
I can't keep pace with your rapid race
I just want you to abide by my side and subside from negativity 

{VERSE 1} Yes, you're going to go away 
You're going to go away
No, you're going to go away
You're going to run away 
Into the forest of lies...
Into the wilderness of goodbye's...
You were always on my mind like lullabies...
I got betrayed by you many times and you drifted away from the path of peace...boy, how time flies...
Now, I'm stand tall
I'm stand tall
Through it all...
I got through it all
Why so fixated on your free-fall?
You must stand your ground like a fearless wall 
I know you've been tossed to and fro like a ball 
You're my favorite, flawless masterpiece and a mighty tease - oh please 
You're too entitled to your frowned-upon stubborn opinion 
You're remarkable, but judgmental - please don't hurt me again and put my whole life at ease 
Peeling you until you're gone
Feeling me like a darksome sun

Hmmmmm
Ahhhhhhhh 
Oooooh ohhhhh 
Mmmmhmmm 

{PRE-CHORUS} Lifted higher by your sheltering Sun-ray
Mmmhmm Ahhh ooh ohhh 
Fly away! Fly away, refrain from lingering around me...making me go insane 
Fear and hope rattles my bones this dismal day 
Ahhhh ohhhhh mmmhmm 
That moment! That moment between us was a sacred serenity - feeling a thousand tons of shame on my lamentable lane
You make me smile...
But, not in a million miles or so...oh oh...
Will I love you for awhile
All because I love you for eternity though 
Watchin' tv with my buddy
My companion, my champion like somebody 
I used to know long ago,
But forget it though - 
It's not important to the ears to hear
Just hold my hand a while, my dear

{DUET} Somethin' in me has died when I was on my bipolar ride so wide 
Cuz I'm missin' someone deep inside - I don't know why I cried 
The physical appearance can injure the soul in contrite 
We need to set our focus on the positive light, not in the negative night

{CHORUS} doo (x10)
Doo (x20) ...etc.
Fly away from the demons that say you're not good enough...
You didn't want my assistance - only my hesitance and my forgiveness 
After all is said and done, I gotta say that life has been so tough...on you and I and it hits us rough...
It's none of my concern that you were deserted and were in distress and you're an awful mess I must address 
Yes, you're going to go away 
You're going to go away
No, you're going to go away
You're going to run away 
I'll give you half of my success progress
So please don't weep, please don't leave in distress...
You're here to express, 
Not to impress 
I love you...
Yet, I don't too...
More or less...(x2)

Ooooh
Ooooooh
Ahhhhh
Mmmmhmmmm

{VERSE 2} This time, I've cried so many tears for so many years (I'm blind) 
Oh oh oh oh....
Yes, I tried to save you from the callous fears (in mind) 
Heal the scars, 
Countless like stars
Defeated by you 
You and your bewildering ways...
I let you go cuz I let you down when I went through those wretched days
Bye, bye...
Balloon 
I can't deny...
We'll see each other soon
In another maroon moon
Peel away the pain of your radiantless rain 
You're perfectly not in tuned with my heart and there's no happiness to gain, save the pain of losing you in my thought train 
Next subject...don't hate, appreciate DAMN - 
Don't reject, accept me for who I am 
There's no logical reason to turn back to the past
Let yourself look forward to the future so vast and oh so fast at last! 

Hmmmmm
Ahhhhhhhh 
Oooooh ohhhhh 
Mmmmhmmm 

{PRE-CHORUS} 

{DUET} 

{CHORUS} doo (x10)
Doo (x20) ...etc.

Ahhhhh hmmmm
Ooooh ohhhhhh 
Ehhhh mmmmmm 

{BRIDGE} *whisper* It just doesn't make sense
I guess I'm gullible and dense...a rubbish, some kind of nonsense
Fenced in my guilt and snowed under my envy 
My heart is bruised, my brain is abused, and you're accusing me...
Of losing a grip on reality...
Biting the bullet of regret...
Thought upon the aftershocks of your heartless neglect...
I bet you don't understand why I'm upset
All because you won't listen and you stare vacantly at me as if I'm a worthless insect 
You affected me... 
You infected me...
You directed me...
In the wrong route that led to my fatality...
My priceless fantasy pursues useless reality 
My heart is shattered like a mirror... 
I was your loyal keeper of your dreams, originated from heart and soul...not of error... 
This truth I cannot bear...
This lie is treating us so unfair...
Shards scattered on the floor
As if he doesn't care anymore
Anymore...
Anymore...
Let my wings of flight soar - I longed for this revelation in store and it's opened to me like an opportunity door...
All along, I was wrong - you weren't that special someone that I adore; what was I waiting for? 
You departed from my arms...
Sorry, our love lost value like unlucky charms 

(OUTRO) You ruined my self-esteem 
When I was living the dream I dream within a dream - at least, in my daydream and my nightdream 
I was riding clouds of gleam and steam and we, like bulbs, do beam
I thought we were one supreme team...
I hate me sometimes, my baby
But I can change me, you see 
I love you - now it's time for me to shine
Because, even though I can't change the things you do, you are fortunately mine 

"The breeze whips my curtains 
Grief sends me on a field trip to the warped-up road
But there's no logical reason to turn back in the past 
Let yourself look forward to the future
Let the dawn awaken 
Shun out the sadness that hangs on to you 
And let yourself grow and never look back 
At the warped-up road ~~~~ sway like the breeze at ease please...don't be that tease you were back then or I won't be infected by your delightful disease" - J W Earnings

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

Liquor of Lament: My Glass is Half Full

Verse 6: I've given up love countless times 
I needed to pay up for my heartbroken crimes
I already repented for my sins that made my high hopes paper-thin
Don't you feel that envy from deep within? 
Searching around, wondering where you've been  
Wander with me in the forest of faith and hear me out if you are all ears
Trying our best to pass the test that we detest 
Innocence clothed us before we lost it all through smiles and tears
Years later, we're still together, even when we rest...even though I act like a pest...
I'm impressed that you dealt with me so easily
I'm a smarter hard worker ever since you set me free
I'm a survivor 
I'm so much wiser
I'm a giver, not a taker 
I'm not a heartbreaker or a forsaker  
I'm a creator of healing grace unlike any other, so much joyful fruit to gather
Positive auras is what I get from the wisdom of our mighty Father

{pre-chorus}
{chorus}

Verse 7: I'm only human, so I'll be making my mistakes
I'm a lonely man, so I'll be praying for chances to belong 
I'm only human, so I'll be drinking the liquor of lament 
I'm a dog without an owner, so I'm writing this sad, yet from-the-heart song 
All my life, I've sharpened the knife of Shame
Shadows consume me and reflections haunt me...my past is a hideous name
My high spirits can't be tamed...I'm not the one to blame...
You came to me, you came to me and gave me wings to break free
In the darkness of my oblivion to illuminate me...
Never exiting this ecstasy next to sea

{pre-chorus}
{chorus}

Verse 8: Closing my eyes for the remedy of rest I've yearned for
Posing like a model next to a camera...snap pictures and explore
You are my drug of delight and I want you more and more 
You picked me off of the filthy floor 
I lay in clouds of regretless love that I covet
I can't get enough of it...so glad we met 
You made me wet with pleasures so swell 
Our kisses and hugs ring a bell...you were a friend that treated me so well
You're my heaven and I'm your hell...you forgave me for being selfish I can tell 
Never should've drank that liquor of lament 
That liquor, liquor, liquor of lament...not broken, just bent 

{pre-chorus}
{chorus}

Verse 9: I made that mistake that I can't undo...
Now I'm left to repent for the wrong I didn't mean to do 
I didn't mean to do
I'll blame it on my luv floo
You made me love you too
How could you?
I said hello to you; but in return, I get a goodbye of rue 
I aimed for the stars, but instead, I hit the moon
Take your time as you and I sing a most familiar tune
We are young in heart still...
Don't you act like a deadly pill...
Stop pulling my heart strings
Your rage is like a bee that stings 
I engage in the sensuality of my soul 
You're my lightingale and my clever tool 
You're the bleak poison that makes me weak
I'm avoiding another glass of fake gladness...I want to be sober and meek 
So, don't speak...
I don't want to hear your prideful greediness
I don't want to hear your madness, your sadness, your lack of progress 
Take all of me if I'm the boy you want 
Take all of me if I'm the boy you need
Take all of me
Take all of me
Before time runs out
Before hope turns to doubt 

{pre-chorus}
{chorus}

Verse 10: Life is card game
Strife won't leave me be 
My wild child heart needs to be tame
Oh I see, you don't love me
Our sex wasn't enough 
I didn't give it to you rough
I tried to act smart and tough
But I'm dealing with some difficult stuff
Take a bite into me
I'm the good apple that's pleasant for the eyes to see
Lick me up and down
I'm the tattoo mark on your skin, 
I'm your lover, your beloved kin...that covers up your sin
I'm the bandaid on your bullet wound of glory
I'm the tourniquet to your broken leg of inability 
You're the seed that planted itself in me 
You're the greed that took away my humble me, you see?

{pre-chorus}
{chorus}

Verse 11: Be considerate and keen for once in your life
Why do your harsh words cut like a jagged knife?
Oh no, I can't hold on to this anger, boiling in my blood 
Oh no, your paradise was spent on someone better than me...what's up with that, bud? 
Pin me down with your heavy load of appealing pleasure beyond measure
No kidding, you are the best compared to the rest that's for sure 
My heads under the surface of hopelessness Your head is in the clouds of solace
What's wrong with that picture?
You don't appreciate the hardships that I endure 
Your loyalty and patience is what I need
Your adoration is beyond sensation...I'm your top-notch weed 

{pre-chorus}
{chorus}

Verse 12: Your magical touch is too much to bear...you're the golden armor I wear
You're the surreal song on the radio - turn it up a hair
Everyone stops and stares at us as we run up the stairs 
You are my dream of reality that I dreamt of During nostalgic nights without you by my side 
You are the white dove of peace and pure love 
Abide by my side, my darling devil...where do you hide? 
Please don't hide...
Take me on a bumpy ride 

{pre-chorus}
{chorus}

Bridge: I'm the valley and you're the mountain
You're the flourishing flowers and I'm the fretful fountain 
You're my muse that rings in my head so true...you're the happy blues 
You're my black and white checkered rose in the field of gracious good news 
The world of woe seems to beat me down 
With mood swings and tragedy that burns on...
I'm a clown, wearing a frown 
I'm the dusk before nightfall and you're the dazzling dawn
I make out with my mesmerizing sunrise right before my eyes,
Right before my eyes, yeah
Reminds me of you on your happy-go-lucky days
I'm sorry that we went our separate ways...oh, our own separate ways 
Now, I'm gulping up liquor of lament 
Liquor, liquor, liquor of lament
A guilt that overflows 
Clearly, my shame shows
The wicked wind surely blows
When you and I express our highs and lows
Ooooh ooooh ooooh...
Ooooh ooooh ooooh...
Our highs and lows
Ooooooh...ooooh...ooh...

(Spoken) You walked out that door
You left me with the one you adore 
You pity yourself, but I ain't buying your product of insecurity
You belittle me with your rebellious spirit of nothing close to empathy 
You're a rebel and a liar 
I'm the hero and a warrior
Don't put a label on me 
Because I will burst in flames of anger and hostility 
I resent the person I've become 
Now, I'm feeling empty and numb 
Catch me as I fall and make me feel whole as well
Attach me to your passionate heart of titanium...can't help but be under your spell

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2015

Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

Live 2 B U

{intro}
(Whisper) mmmmhmmm
Turn me on by your tranquil, no-drama-no-trauma tune
It will be noon soon,
My sweet maroon moon
Don't panic, maniac of mine...you're swimming in your lament lagoon 
Ohhhhh...
Please
Hear me out 
At ease,
I hear your victory shout!!!

Ooooo I-I-I-I...

{verse 1} 
Naturally, out of breath
Out of hate's chains...
Strangely, the scent of death
Got graveyard brains...
Suicide takes a ride into my mind and heart
I didn't know my silver soul would break apart 
I just thought if I rot, I'd have a happy ending 
I just thought if I hurt myself, I would need mending 

{refrain}
I have an ability 
To see energy around a person, place or thing 
I have the capability 
To give up giving in to failure's success, making me feeling less than nothing and you're everything — in your self-absorbed life, am I anything?

{hook}
Rub your filth bubbles on me
I'm naked and ashamed, baby

{chorus}
Live to be you...
And I'll live to be me
You leave
I grieve 
I'm insecure with or without you by my side 
You cover up your negativity tide...where does your soul abide? 
Live to be you...
And I'll relive our moments of ecstasy 
You're timid 
I confidently get rid 
Of everything and everyone that reminds me of you...desperately in need of a beautiful bride 
I'm sorry for being bisexual when I should be straight, oh Lord of Accord...I'm overwhelmed by shame that embraces me long and wide...
I'm sorry that I heartlessly lied
To receive the truth
Of my hello that got goodbyed,
An ever-aching tooth 
Live 2 B U (x7)

Ooooo yehhhhhh 

{verse 2}
Give, don't get
Live with no regret 
Receive, let die
Let live, don't lie 
High until I hit a low 
Blessed breeze do blow
You know? Know? Know?
You blew up in front of me
I did dat too, I forgive easily 
I hold a grudge on my mistakes 
Putting everyone's lives at their own individual stakes 

{refrain}
I have an ability 
To see energy around a person, place or thing 
I have the capability 
To give up giving in to failure's success, making me feeling less than nothing and you're everything — in your self-absorbed life, am I anything?

{hook}
Rub your filth bubbles on me
I'm naked and ashamed, baby

{chorus}
Live to be you...
And I'll live to be me
You leave
I grieve 
I'm insecure with or without you by my side 
You cover up your negativity tide...where does your soul abide? 
Live to be you...
And I'll relive our moments of ecstasy 
You're timid 
I confidently get rid 
Of everything and everyone that reminds me of you...desperately in need of a beautiful bride 
I'm sorry for being bisexual when I should be straight, oh Lord of Accord...I'm overwhelmed by shame that embraces me long and wide...
I'm sorry that I heartlessly lied
To receive the truth
Of my hello that got goodbyed,
An ever-aching tooth 
Live 2 B U (x7)

Ooooooooo ahhhh

{verse 3}
Music makes me move 
Your hit makes me groove 
Show me your ways
Of one of those days 
I went through those
"Teen" phases...sending tingles from arms to toes, 
Counting my endless friends and foes...
I feel angst in a rebellious amount of rows 

{refrain}
I have an ability 
To see energy around a person, place or thing 
I have the capability 
To give up giving in to failure's success, making me feeling less than nothing and you're everything — in your self-absorbed life, am I anything?

{hook}
Rub your filth bubbles on me
I'm naked and ashamed, baby

{chorus}
Live to be you...
And I'll live to be me
You leave
I grieve 
I'm insecure with or without you by my side 
You cover up your negativity tide...where does your soul abide? 
Live to be you...
And I'll relive our moments of ecstasy 
You're timid 
I confidently get rid 
Of everything and everyone that reminds me of you...desperately in need of a beautiful bride 
I'm sorry for being bisexual when I should be straight, oh Lord of Accord...I'm overwhelmed by shame that embraces me long and wide...
I'm sorry that I heartlessly lied
To receive the truth
Of my hello that got goodbyed,
An ever-aching tooth 
Live 2 B U (x7)

Oooooo ohhhh 
Shhhh...

{verse 4}
Love all tho 
Don't LOL at my BRB's 
To and fro,
Goes the blessed breeze 
I'm gonna do what I can
To be a loyal friend and fan
Paparazzi, soon I'll be your celebrity 
I will not take heed to anyone's Hypocrisy 
I like your constructive criticism 
It makes me a polished prism...

Ohhhh 
So...
Hmmmm...

{chorus}
Just...um...
Live to be you...
And I'll live to be me
You leave
I grieve 
I'm insecure with or without you by my side 
You cover up your negativity tide...where does your soul abide? 
Live to be you...
And I'll relive our moments of ecstasy 
You're timid 
I confidently get rid 
Of everything and everyone that reminds me of you...desperately in need of a beautiful bride 
I'm sorry for being bisexual when I should be straight, oh Lord of Accord...I'm overwhelmed by shame that embraces me long and wide...
I'm sorry that I heartlessly lied
To receive the truth
Of my hello that got goodbyed,
An ever-aching tooth 
Live 2 B U (x11)

{bridge}
Cuz I lived 2 B me...
No one cares...their starlit hair are scarred and their skin from deep within is tattooed with without-a-cares that worsens the tear-jerking tears
That's what I see...
I'm not the sparkling sea - why all the bittersweet stares? 
All cuz
I lived 2 B me
Was
It my fault that I live free
In trapped freedom...
I flee to seek His KINGdom...
I'm the Numb scum with mental instability and fooldumb 
Wisdom is heard by some with His symmetrical spirit of faith that is stepped on like a pizza crumb — minus the sum (meaning not appreciated by society for doing God's Word)
Your nature of immature pride is not tolerated here
It's inadequate to my dilemmas, which are of fear

{hook}
I dare you to rub your filth bubbles on me
I'm naked and ashamed, baby
What now?

{refrain x3}
I have an ability 
To see energy around a person, place or thing 

{hook}
So don't you dare rub your filth bubbles on me
I'm naked and ashamed, baby
Now what?

{outro}
Ooooh
I...advise

You not to...interfere 
With your unnecessary remarks 
Wandering deer,
Don't hurry and worry, dear...you are as strong as arduous arks and as playful as children's parks 
(Whisper) Live 2 B U...
And I'll live to have me free 
Me...I luv u 2...darling boo...
Someday, we'll be set free...sooner or later, we'll find an escape route and swiftly flee

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

Below the Horizon - Shallow Shame

Agony be to society's demise
Labels are for fools, not for the wise
Play the familiar tune of in-unison serenity 
Fatality won't come any time soon, thankfully...

Homeless and homosexual people were on the news not to long ago...I weep in anguish... 
I'm tattered and torn in long-term grief because why is society so heartless and selfish?

You fill in the gaps
Unwrap the poetic raps
Of my sold-my-soul-to-the-angel-of-light words 

I suppose I was born a maniac fool, a mindless talker - sucks to be me right now...don't be an intimidating mocker 
I guess I wasn't meant to be a deep thinker...more like a Walking Dead walker 
A sorrowful sinker...brilliantly lame and I can't be tame
A shallow thinker...that's a mighty shame that you play me like a game

Intimate family surrounds me
Immediately, I feel comfort in vain 
Make up the loss of your motivation
A brainwashed worker, getting paid minimum wage...reduced to happy, mishap-made frustration 

Glide into me...glee without ends 
Pilgrim inside the ship of my friends 
Happily ever ending never happened in the first place
The end is the beginning of trouble before my face...
I guess I was a disgrace...
An expired grace without a trace 
Under the surface of impatient waiting
Below the horizon of senseless debating

I hate it when people brag
I hate it when he rubs all his successes in my face 
I'm a wet, useless rag and I'm a computer that lags...I'm a worthless paper bag, left in the kitchen for what seems like decades of no-use times...life is a game of tag
I feel like you bred me with disgrace - you're the wild hog on your motorcycle...you zoomed off and I'm trying to keep pace with my heart beats...our love relationship was, all along, a competitive race

Swallow your pride
I'm going through a bipolar ride
Darkness swallows me like a dark tide
Step inside of the devil in my eyes...there, you'll find I wasn't the angel you laid eyes on...there's no where to hide the monster inside that's attacking what's in the outside...
Of...
Me...

Shame embraced me...you were a lost opportunity and a priceless possibility 
Where's the will to soar to pleasant lands?
Name of fame wasn't meant for me possibly...unfortunately...
Where do I land? In isolated islands? 

Is there a cure for loneliness?
Am I cute when I feel acute  misgivings? Why am I as enraged as Hulk? 
Why is you and I this miserable mess?
I'm angry because you rejected my helping hand...I'm depressed, but I wear the mask of mere cheer...I smile because I'm slightly happy...I'm glad I'm not in your shoes of sulk...

Too many times I bled out regret for you 
The hideous beautiful - you'll see it dimming anew
Rape me with rue and plant your seed in my mind's eye
Don't saturate me with your hatred and dread...feeding off of the debris of my loveless flu 

Woke up with a headache
I am caked with the sand of your lament lake 
Circle around me, shadows of the sun
Native American blood was shed here...the arrow of ancient time pierced me in the heart - so, put down your gun

I bit the bullet...you bite the bullet...have you met your end, debt? 
My joy jets fly on by below the horizon 
A good day to live and let die all of the sorrow and regret 
You don't see me cry above under you like the dusk dawn 

Bring me to heaven
Sad Raven, why so dark blue? 
Below the horizon
Sink in my words above your skin surface...find my other shoe...

Don't walk away
I'm a rain, transforming into a sunny day
I'm afraid everyday 
I sit down and obey

Masterbating to the fact that you have hurt me emotionally and sexually 
You fed me inner illumination and diseased me mentally...
Now, you're running away from the reality in disguise of a fantasy 
I'm suffering, you cannibal that eats up human happiness to the highest degree

I want freedom to get out of the chains of captivity 

Hell breaks loose in your hoarse voice
It's a bad day in California I'm afraid...we are different shade, so watch our relationship cascade 
Lately, my spirits were gliding in the prairies of your long-lost dreams, leaving you no room to rejoice
Rock and roll to my beat - you need an upgrade 

You dropped me off to school
You left me with jaded love
You took me as a fool
You are below the horizon, dove... 
You aren't a seagull...
All you say is bull! 
It's all said and done
I get it - I lost and you won

You and I aren't over,
So don't think I'll break it off with you
I am the flower and you, the clover
We work together as a team to higher our self-esteem to avoid feeling blue 

Strive to arrive on time in my classroom of tests and tribulations 
I will give you a complete guide to my heart's desire - Genesises to Revelations 
Suave sensations move me as my soul-at-ease heart pounds in my chest of I've-tried-my-best...
Say no more...holding my tongue of fire before it devours further - I was wired a weird way, so don't ruin my day...you friend and foe - or can I say pest?

What are you thinking about? 
Are you a screaming doubt and a child's pout?
I hear the downpour of your boohoo distress
I ignore it rebelliously with my teenage eustress 

Make love to the loveless
Feed the wealthy in heart 
Witnessed your mistakes that made you this miserable mess
I know why you're tearing apart

Puke out the bones of leave-me-alone's
Give me faith and do it again...do it again...you're my possession and my obsession 
I can't disobey you this time...I'll stay loyal to you...my troll fairy, my darling devil dearie 
Excuse me!? Don't say a word to me about your passions, a compare and contrast theory 

Judge me not, though I'm an absurd human being, alone in my herd
I dare you to tell me the truth about your past life - I won't spread it ear to ear (I won't spread rumors in other words) 
God is my shepherd and my voice will be heard...my words are of quality, not turd
I'll keep a secret as long as you tell me everything that's in your diary of personal stuff...have no fear, for God is here...God's Kingdom is near, my wandering-deer dear 

Naturally, living in fear and peace put together...I'm not feeling all the good, but doing somewhat better
Yet, God's spirit dives into me like a feather, caught in the breeze of a spiraling  weather 

Beaten...Betrayed...
Led astray...giving in to the abominations of my lustful life...a sick sin
Opinions swayed...
By facts, gone array and gone away by the wind of crooked doctrine

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

I Can't Just Change Overnight part 1

(Inspired by my sister, Laura Breidenthal’s poem called “The Dream in His Eyes” and also, inspired by Disturbed’s song “Forsaken”. Special thanks to my sister for such an awesome poem and the writer that wrote “Forsaken”. It’s been a pleasure, writing this LONG poem! Please feel free to comment below and I hope you like reading it!)

I’m getting over the wasted times I’ve spent 
During the summer days, indoors…I wonder where the time went…
Debating on whether or not to write 
An inspirational song once again – that’s a might, 
Despite what I feel deep inside –
The need to hide, but a want to be brave…
Don’t mind me – I’ll learn to behave
For the night, I’d rather be with my family by my side
For the night, I’d rather sleep with dreams that won’t subside
From my sight…but once I wake up, they are soon forgotten
Why is my hope rotten? In God’s eyes, am I unforgotten?
In the vast abyss…the abstract abyss…
I roam in my lonely distress; it’s only in my head
Can’t shake away this hopelessness…
I long to embrace happiness, but instead, I hold on to dread
Again…again…
Why should I allow myself to fall away again?
Complaining is only for the foolish in heart
So, why should I make a big fuss of things?
Can’t they see I’m breaking apart 
Or…hm…do they see my depression as another work of art? 
Am I worthy of praise from the start?
Reality stings…these dreams haven’t mended my wings…
Failing to meet the finish line…
Pretending that everything is dandy and fine
But, to be frank, it’s not...
Sorry, negativity is heating up like water in the pot
I’ve been taught not to worry 
I’ve been taught to be happy
I’ve been taught to be joyous
I’ve been told not to fuss…and cuss…
Then again, I fall down on the ground,
Yearning to win life’s awfully difficult round
I want to change the world for the better
But I can’t if I can’t change my life around…
Sorry for my childish negativity…
It would be a miracle if someone can hold my head up
Sorry for my bottomless misery…
But, I know for certain that God gathers up my tears in His cup
He stores them in His heart of love
He restores my faith and lifts me high above
Anyways, I’m quite aware that my feelings are fickle…
And these emotions I conceal are as bittersweet as a pickle…
But I shall not lose hope, 
For tomorrow will be another day to look forward to
My tongue will rejoice, not mope
For yesterday has passed away and there’s nothing else I can do
I should be a brighter blue…a brighter hue…
Still clouded by the little bits of memory in my brain that gets me insane
I naturally feel relieved that I don’t remember too much of my past
Maybe it’s because I’m growing up too fast…maybe a little too fast…
I wish I can cast away all woe
I want to bestow bliss to all I know
Don’t you see me fading? 
Can’t you see the shame I’ve dealt with for so long?
Don’t you know that I’m trading
My shame with agape love…
I can never get enough of it…don’t get me wrong…
Don’t dig me a grave, but have a heart to save
A long lost soul that has been wandering the streets of avarice lane
I fear that I have lost touch of the meaning of life…most of the time, letting my poverty gang up on me and coveting the lives of the wealthy individuals…fighting duels in my mind – committing a million crimes 
Take my hand and hold it tight…
Strife and peace have been quarrelling for what seems like years…please, just give me a break…for the hope of heaven…bring me peace instead of strife…let peace win this time or we’ll face perilous times
Roam this land and don’t pick a fight…
Alive and well, I wish I could be… 
Alive and well, as glad as can be…
Swimming in the sea of shame 
Why did you shatter? 
Shocked out of my mind, hunted for game
What’s the matter?
Did I hurt anyone with these words?
I’m sorry…they come and go like herds of birds…
Or should I say flock of birds? Wait, scratch that…
I don’t regret writing these lines…I wear them like my favorite hat…
Forsaken…alone…down in the dumps…you can fill in the blanks…
And yet, when I’m with you, I say otherwise...I pour in my lament liquid in a thousand tanks...
I don’t delight in what I say…maybe I should have taken your advice lately…be careful what I see or hear…I was reclusive, sinking in my angst…
I don’t blame you for being incomplete…I envy the fact that you’re wise…
At least in my eyes, but what does He see in His eyes?
The truth behind the lies? The lies? 
The thoughtless goodbyes? 
The temporary highs?
Amongst us is the darkest of night...
I guess I’m not the only one, struggling to see the light
Forgive the heartless acts of men, oh Lord…
The sins that we must repent of is far too much to afford
Together, we are one brilliant nation…
We all share our moments of tranquil sensation and utter frustration
Oh noble, humble children of the Father in Heaven…
Can I be included in His family too? Can I be complete like You like the number seven? 
I’ve slept for too long and I’ve wept over the wrong…
Over the wrong I’ve done…
How can I feel like I belong when at home, it’s hard to belong?
It feels like darkness has won…
Masked in damasked delusions of the dreams I’ve dreamt
I have the desire to let go of the resentment that crept into me…one attempt…
Ended up as a fail, 
But in the end, 
It didn’t land me in jail 
I don’t mean to offend
My attempt to answer the call of composure
Will be quite a challenge, but it’s a challenge I’m willing to face
I’m pretty sure that I won’t find the ultimate cure
To end chaos when unpredictable predicaments take place…
I speak with a sincere, fearless heart…
I will vanish away the doubts that try to rip us apart
Remind me not to lose track of hope and stay focused on what’s uplifting and of great significance 
The wasted times of my life – something I shouldn’t mope too much about…instead, I should shine on with ripened radiance…
The masses of elegantless anguish transformed me into this monster 
This hideous thing called Wasted Away Love
This repulsive rage has burned away Peace, my dove…
My dove of passion-driven accord that I probably can’t get enough of
My opinions of out-of-the-world peace isn’t at all flawless
But, please…just listen to me or I’ll spiral in my distress…
Smother me with your astuteness of authenticity 
Enthralled by the waterfalls of wonderfulness all over again

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2015

Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

The Back Burner

I heard you calling my name in an echoing whisper 
I saw a bird take wing in the whirling wind of disaster 
I put my weary head on your broad shoulders
The moment we touched, I was broken boulders
I thought I was latching on to someone so trustworthy and positive
I assume you don't wanna resume with this relationship that made a wrong turn...
I believe in love, but it has made me weak inside...as a result, it's fairly negative 
I bloom like a lily in spring in the pond of rain pain, still feeling rejection's burn and the ocean's emotions churn 
When is it my turn to shine on 
Like the break of dawn?
The break of dawn is soon to be gone for good and this ominous sadness goes on and on and on 

I was le-e-eft in the back burner in ancient times 
I was astonished to hear the clever clock chimes 
I was alarmed by your sudden departure
You were gone out of my life forever...and ever...
I was messed with several times here and there
There you go again, piling up in my mind...
Feeling tattered and threadbare 
Threatened by your tone of voice...a gold I cannot find, 
A-a-and I've tried to search for you...the smoke making me blind 

Oooooh mmmm x3

I did more harm than good
I guess I ain't good blood...
Sick and tired of being misunderstood...
You turned me off, snapping off the morning wood...
Not really in the greatest mood...
Set me free from your solitude that has made my barriers so much harder to fight off
Upsetting me...don't stop resenting the evil deeds of mankind's society, you and I had enough! 
Life is getting too tough...
Being in my skin is rough...
I wasn't thinking straight
I couldn't help but hesitate 
Am I too late to change?
I need to turn around and count my change and find time to rearrange 

I was le-e-eft in the back burner in ancient times 
I was astonished to hear the clever clock chimes 
I was alarmed by your sudden departure
You were gone out of my life forever...and ever...
I was messed with several times here and there
There you go again, piling up in my mind...
Feeling tattered and threadbare 
Threatened by your tone of voice...a gold I cannot find, 
A-a-and I've tried to search for you...the smoke making me blind 

Oooooh mmmm x3

Oh bless my soul that's been split in two 
Although I loved you so, can't stop remembering what you do...
What you did to me and the things you put me through, you know?
You let the Shame show
Rumor is spreading aglow
You didn't even blow...
My mind with your blessings that you bestow
I'm shapeless like an octopus in the sea
I'm relentless like the lion in hunting mode
I'm restless like the owl in the night of vibrancy 
You punched in the code to bring me back to my one and only admirable abode...hold up, let me sing you this ode...from my hound heart, 
Wisdom from the old 
Left untold, but I am bold
I am shivering, for it's too cold
For you to say that your heart's already sold
To another guy that can hold in so much pressure and can carry a large load

 I was le-e-eft in the back burner in ancient times 
I was astonished to hear the clever clock chimes 
I was alarmed by your sudden departure
You were gone out of my life forever...and ever...
I was messed with several times here and there
There you go again, piling up in my mind...
Feeling tattered and threadbare 
Threatened by your tone of voice...a gold I cannot find, 
A-a-and I've tried to search for you...the smoke making me blind 

Oooooh mmmm x3

The world of woe
Is calling your name 
It would like to know 
If you should take the blame 
Shame...on you...
You left me in the back burner 
The actions that you do
The words were hot as a heater 
The past shan't be undo 
I wish you well in your future journeys
I wish you luck to catch the blessed breeze
Praying for you to have peace of mind
We're only human and we're awfully blind, but He doesn't mind 
One bit I suppose
Our time is coming to a close
You are a rose that sprouts words of prose
You are beautiful and I particular adore your nose
Tell me if you need me
If you want me badly
Xoxo me all over
Oxox me till it's over
I was a bit of a loner
But now, I have a social boner 
Don't say it's all over
Because you are the weeds and I the clover
Pull them out and dig deep in the roots
Then, you'll clearly see the filth that I shook off my cowboy boots 

I was le-e-eft in the back burner in ancient times 
I was astonished to hear the clever clock chimes 
I was alarmed by your sudden departure
You were gone out of my life forever...and ever...
I was messed with several times here and there
There you go again, piling up in my mind...
Feeling tattered and threadbare 
Threatened by your tone of voice...a gold I cannot find, 
A-a-and I've tried to search for you...the smoke making me blind 

Oooooh mmmm x3

Have you no shame?
Have you no shame at all...
Hunting me down like game
You ignored my call...my xoxo call...
End the lullabies of lamentation 
Mend the heart that's torn apart
Don't offend me or I'll be raped by frustration 
Send me more than enough of your love...my finest, most precious...gracious art 
I see that you aren't impressed with me
My feelings I expressed aren't important, I see?
Amaze me 
Flare my soul
My only plea 
Is to bang at my skull
With your sensational bliss
That will wipe away all loneliness 
To the bottom to the top,
Don't stop touching me, oh please don't stop till I produce fruit like a crop 
I am like a shoe-shop, you have the option to shop and drop before you get caught by the cop 

I was le-e-eft in the back burner in ancient times 
I was astonished to hear the clever clock chimes 
I was alarmed by your sudden departure
You were gone out of my life forever...and ever...
I was messed with several times here and there
There you go again, piling up in my mind...
Feeling tattered and threadbare 
Threatened by your tone of voice...a gold I cannot find, 
A-a-and I've tried to search for you...the smoke making me blind 

Oooooh mmmm x3

Shooting me down while I gathered up
Head in the dumps, but feet in the sky
Giving up after giving in to failure...served to me in a wine cup
My foolish brain spins around in circles and I don't know why
I even try 
I even try

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2015

Long poem by Cierra Thomas | Details |

behind

I used to dream of a dark hall. Dim. Empty with thick cheap navy curtains. 
The breeze. It felt hot and old. It shivered in the curtains that lined the walls on both sides.
The breeze. It must have been a stiff breeze to blow those heavy curtains. It makes them appear as if gentle waves, moving ever so slowly. Rising and falling. Mockingly.

The hall reminded me of my school assembly hall. I’m still not sure though if it was.
The light. Was dark. Pitch black to my eyes only I could see. 
The light. It was as if fluorescent. The kind of light that you would find in toilets at a mall.
You go to wash your hands. Look in the mirror and see 20 years into the future.
Every pot, wrinkle, freckle, dry flack, burst blueing irreparable cluster of veins.
You stand, staring at the reflection with revulsion.
Do I look like this now?
Yet, that is not truly my reflection. It’s the light.

It glows pale and hums. Old electric heaters sound the same. I can hear it. 
Maybe the way it refracts. Such a harsh light must slice through air. Sever it. Leave it thinner.
The light. The way that it seeps inside parched flesh. A sallow tint and vile shadows.
That was the light in the dark hall.

The hall reminded me of my school assembly hall. I’m still not sure but I think it possibly was.
It bounced. Off the frayed navy curtains and the bulk buy wood tiles with a diamond pattern. 
It bounced. Off jaundiced walls with sticky fingermarks.
I can see every scratch as if they were fluorescent themselves. Every speck of dust.
Parasites and dead moth wings are clear to me. They seem enlarged. Not clustered. Every detail of decay individual somehow.
I wonder why I’m recalling this dream. I can’t shake it. I don’t think it’s the dream that bothers me. Not that dank, dim hall that stays with me.

It was the curtains.
They moved so naturally, yet they didn’t seem so. 
I remember.
As they undulated back and forth feeling queer.

The hall reminded me of walking home on biting winter nights. Dark short days 
The curtains. They watched night appearing. They mimic its gloom shadows. 
The curtains. Every rustle, creak, crunch of dead leaf, pebble mistakenly kicked underfoot along the icy pavement in front of me. Magnified. Tuck my fingers inside pockets and twist. White knuckles balled into fists. I sensed something. Pressed mute. Looked behind me. Nothing. I pressed play. 
I remember thinking the shadows were stalking me. Eyes hidden to stare. Just watch.  
I stare back at bulging bins outside a block of flats putrid with rotten food. Nothing.
A hum of white static. That was the queer feeling when I watched the curtains in the dream.

I remember I looked for them. Eyes in the shadows. Eyes Hiding.
Behind curtains is a good hiding place. 
I regarded them, watched the rhythmic inhale then exhale. Chalk dust choking lungs.
Do I dare look?

The hall reminded me of that feeling. That queer feeling as it began to mutate. Multiply. Violate. 
The chalk. Surrounded me. It wasn’t chalk. It was derma taken without my consent.
The chalk. It reminded me of a spring I saw when I was 13. A mundane day. Dragging my heels;
tripping on sharp rocks, crushing parched pebbles into fine sand. Clutched my hair.
Filled the air with sharp fine white asbestos. Clung inside my blue lungs. Body parched. We reached the spring. I craned to see above my hostage takers matching rucksacks. Saw a tap.
A tap that’s been running for days. Years. Pressure slow. A mineral cleansed virgin snaked a path downward. She gets musty from chalk. Slicing scars into the rock with bitterness. 

I watch her descent until disappeared into a dank black hole.
That reminded me of when I played catch in the driveway, losing the ball down that overgrown dark hole at the left of the rust flaked garage door under the house. The driveway steeped;
a way to let rain pour away unseen through the gutter. I didn’t care! Let the basement flood!

The hall reminded me of that feeling. Black behind curtains. 
The black hole. Let the whole house flood if that’s what it takes!
The black hole. When I would have to retrieve that ball. Reached my hand.
The shadows of the drain pipe hid the tip of my fingers. A chill dread would infect me.
A snake sinking fangs into me, letting my own blood do the rest. That dread;
I would feel as if sunburnt. A warmth. A gradual cancer while you lie there and crust.
Except the blisters are cold. Burning ice venom tiptoeing up my arm freezing the blood.
I snatched. Blisters burst. Forgotten until the ball taunted me again to play hide and seek.

I watched, they looked heavy the curtains. I studied them intently. The way the breeze trickled slowly strumming invisible fingers along them. The air snaking through folds of faded navy. 
I thought it was dancing. Charmed. I watched as it slithered upwards bloated belly inhaling. 
It wasn’t. The curtains were shifting uncomfortably.

The hall reminded me of a disco we had at school. Stand shuffling feet and barely touching just fingertips on shoulders.
My shoes are shrieking. Leaving thin layers of black tar etched on the polished wood with a diamond pattern. Tips of my ears began to scold. I think they are all watching me.
That feeling I’m fire fresh timber with bone dry kindling. A pet store mouse taken home for a snakes dinner in a box. I can’t remember his name. I don’t care. My head ached.
I looked upward to gasp cool air while flames licked my face. I try to scrape the embers off. 
A fluorescent light is shining. It’s the one from my dream. 

I realise I haven’t moved. Apart from my eyes chasing the shadows away. 
I wonder if I tried I would turn. I’d see a door and run. Even if I tried would the doorknob be there?
Or are 1000 black arachnid pupils staring at me. A necrotic skull sockets empty just two black holes.
Daring me to touch it.

I remember those curtains. Rising and falling. Mockingly.
I’ve seen these curtains; I’ve seen this room. That smell should be ambrosial but my nostrils burn as I suck in dead, scentless air; I suck hard. If I were a flame I’d be blue. 
A stiff breeze lifts the curtains; curling their lips up at me. Mocking me. I’m behind the curtain.

Copyright © Cierra Thomas | Year Posted 2015

Long poem by Johnny Williams | Details |

Hurt People Hurt People

Flirt with Whitney
Flirt with fear 
Life is good
But I rather be anywhere but here
Body aches from pushing out tears
Driving on the road of life
Eyes is watery
So I can't steer 
And I'm getting dizzy 
Stomach very queezy
Thank god for Sprite and tylonal
Thank god for my other half that completes me
Haven't eating anything about in 22 hours
Aye some coochie though
Way better than wheeties 
Some days I feel like Rafliki
Other days I feel like Simba
D'Andre is down in the dumps
Lord we have a dilemma
I'm facedown like someone shot me
Heart pumpin heavy
Nose snotty
 Talking to the depression hotline on the potty 
Walking out the bathroom I couldn't look at the mirror 
cause sometimes i dont like what the displays 
And I know you get tired of my negative and negated ways
But that's just how I feel
Am I pose to hide my feelings
I said me and mirrors have an up and down relationship
Not all the the time do I view myself as appealing 
One day I'll be happy with the way I look
It's like a banana that you have to keep peeling 
At the end of the day YOU have to be happy with yourself 
Disconnect all the self neglect
You can't just put your needs on a dusted shelf
Spirit is broke 
Plus my glasses are broke 
I can't see anything 
But I can see the confusion
My feelings are display
This is not a dilutions 
I  don't need institution 
Talking to Whitney
Things are slowing improving 
Stomach is flipping 
But I'm not pissing or pooping
Words slowly pour out to Whitney
I'm slowly regrouping 
Her words are soothing
Mine are barely coming out 
Cause of the coochie I ate 
Exercise for my mouth
It was very good
Correction very very great
My favorite thing to have on my plate
Slowly improving my mental state
But my physical stature is feeling not so great 
Thank god for Wifey 
Thank god for Wifey
Cause when I don't like me 
At least shE still love me and likes me
The tears have stopped
My crinkled face stage is threw
I kiss Whitney and then look past her
And then my eyes come upon you 

Looking at you 
Makes my stomach hurt 
Thinking about you
Makes my stomach hurt 
Just the sound of your name
Makes me lift up my shirt
And grab my belly
You needa start eating right
That's what my peers tell me
But it's you that makes my bowels move
I could be be having the day of the duration
And looking at you just throws my body outta groove
It doesn't even have to be that time of the month
It's either hit you 
Or hit the blunt
Sorry to be blunt
But your presence 
Is far from a present 
You belittle me to near nothing
To you I'm a peasant
But to me you're just the reason my stomach aches
Tape handing off my chest
From repairing my heart break 
I see you and rush to the commode
I'm tired of feeling like this 
Using all this toilet paper gets old
You act nice on Tuesday and mean on Wednesday 
I don't know if I should be sold
I don't know if I can keep making these trips to the toilet
Everybody thinks I got Wifey pregnant 
But it's me and you that need to have an appointment 
The stomach pain is cause of you 
I cramp up with your every word
This feeling is for the birds
 I'm so tired of you
My stomach is tired of being terrorized with terds 

You enjoy seeing me unchill 
Gravely ill
My my my
My mental motivation gravitates Johnny Gill
I just come and pay my bills
Try to pay you no mind
But my confidence you kill 
My efforts you murder
Are you jealous cause your life is black and grey
Mine is purple and blue with a hint of sherbet
Why do you try to hurt me so much 
I'm a grown man 
Far from a gerber
And Whitney told you I was just like her 
I know you heard her
Should I go on any further 
I'm just tired of getting treated like this 
Feeling like this 
Feeling like a big hunk of piss
It'll be a  year in August 
But will I make it to March 
I've cried more tears over you
Than my mother when she used to hit me with spray starch 
I may be little 
But you've chose the wrong tree to bark 
I'm not scared of you
I won't flinch or fart 
The villain of all the virgerousity 
You must love playing the part

I have tried pepto bismol and other gismo 
And stomachs still hurting 
Milk of magnesia isn't working 
But I'm on my last leg
I just wanna quit being hurt
I don't wanna have to beg
So I thought I'd just ask
Even though we're not students 
I thought we could have a little more class 
I feel like manure 
On the floor 
Tears pour
Comfort comes and I roll over and hear a crack
It's my glasses 
I can't stand this 
I feel like nothing 
A rotten pumpkin
I'm the ugly duckling
Quit making assumptions 
You need some D in your life
Get to humping 
With the tears comes the cussing
Mozzarella sticks I smell in the oven
Can't bring myself to eat 
That's why I'm still a munchkin 
I shouldn't be here 
I should  be Lindsay Lohan'n and Hillary Duff'in
Huffing and puffing 
Puffing snot
You could stab a person In the back 
With your smile on 100 watts
You've been cooking this up for a lil minute I bet
But don't expect revenge in my pot
Bawl blockage and cum clots
I'm already suffering from this and what not
I know you're hurting to 
But to hurt someone else you said why not
Why me
Please stop
Just because I don't live in a 4 bedroom house
Doesn't mean I sleep on a cot
Your indirect comments and sneak dissing 
Are like having my glasses in your hand and your crush the lens with rocks 
I know your life is on the rocks
But you don't have to take it out on others
Just cause they're not the creme of the crop 
I'm just sitting here letting you hurt me day after day 
I'm not gunna run jump skip or hop
Something needs to be done 
I have the lock 
But you got the key
You gotta start somewhere even its its with building blocks
Threatening my spouse with termination and glocks 
You was looking for a reaction 
But a crinkled up face is all you got 
And I realized through it all 
Me and my spouse is all I got  

Copyright © Johnny Williams | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

Sorry I Shied Away

Is it just me or I'm starting to slow down along with the unwinding of time? 
Time is running out and oh how I feel sublime
I'm in need of understanding God's Word and Law 
I feel trapped and I wear this frown all day through it all

I'm not feeling good 
Everything I say
I feel misunderstood
Every single day 

Sorry I shied away...
I'm not a sunny day
I'm the clouds above,
Soaking in His love
I'm the rain,
So refrain
From making me cry...
I don't know why I try...

I'm sorry...
I don't feel like associating with anyone at the very moment
I'm sorry...
I'm dealing with this envy and resentment...I'm barely learning like a crying infant

I'm not feeling good 
Everything I say
I feel misunderstood
Every single day 

Sorry I shied away...
I'm not a sunny day
I'm the clouds above,
Soaking in His love
I'm the rain,
So refrain
From making me cry...
I don't know why I try...

I know that I struggle to meet up to Your endless expectations and Standards alike...
I don't know how to repent, it's like struggling to learn how to ride a brand-new bike...

I'm not feeling good 
Everything I say
I feel misunderstood
Every single day 

Sorry I shied away...
I'm not a sunny day
I'm the clouds above,
Soaking in His love
I'm the rain,
So refrain
From making me cry...
I don't know why I try...

I hate the truthful fact
That I struggle to interact
With my age group and all...
Cooped up in my solitude ball...
And I stand tall again and again...Where do I begin? I lose, I don't win...Where have you been? In between once again? I don't mean to offend; I meant to help you, not harm you - come again?
I ramble on and on in poetry
Cuz my style is human liberty 
I am a dysfunctional computer...
I should've had a fixing sooner

I'm not feeling good 
Everything I say
I feel misunderstood
Every single day 

Sorry I shied away...
I'm not a sunny day
I'm the clouds above,
Soaking in His love
I'm the rain,
So refrain
From making me cry...
I don't know why I try...

Felt this Discontent
Feeling Discomfort
Broken and bent
I'm the sky dirt 
My mind wanders off in confusing muses...trapped in my skin, a perilous pit
My heart has dealt with love affair bruises...loses control, but I can handle it  
Cuz handsome hurts...
Cute hurts...sexy hurts...
What's in the outside doesn't match the inside
Perfection is a label I never was
Don't point the finger at me cuz
I accuse you for the scars you've given me long ago...
But I forgive you after all is said and done...let me grow and let me go...with my own flow...
Reap what you sow
You know? I know...

I'm not feeling good 
Everything I say
I feel misunderstood
Every single day 

Sorry I shied away...
I'm not a sunny day
I'm the clouds above,
Soaking in His love
I'm the rain,
So refrain
From making me cry...
I don't know why I try...

Maybe...just maybe I need time to think things through 
Since I was foolishly sick with the flu of fretful blue
I envy and I'm ashamed of it
So I throw a childish fit
Inside of me...at the very least...I am red when I should be yellow (I am negative when I should be positive)
Don't be a tease - that's my plea to a certain degree...I am not proud, but insecure...so pissed off, but mellow

I'm not feeling good 
Everything I say
I feel misunderstood
Every single day 

Sorry I shied away...
I'm not a sunny day
I'm the clouds above,
Soaking in His love
I'm the rain,
So refrain
From making me cry...
I don't know why I try...

I see the people, socializing with hope and yearning
This jealousy and hurt, oh, how it's ever burning...churning...
They won't hear my silent-as-the-grave plea...
So I shy away from the fish of the shapeless sea...
I'm, unfortunately, naive, but I'm still young and gullible...
I'm native to the emotions that are of mere irritable...

I'm not feeling good 
Everything I say
I feel misunderstood
Every single day 

Sorry I shied away...
I'm not a sunny day
I'm the clouds above,
Soaking in His love
I'm the rain,
So refrain
From making me cry...
I don't know why I try...

I'm hurting...
An expert to biting the bullet
Still Yearning...
To find an outlet for this regret
Scorching me like hot coals...
They will never see my heart of pure gold
Fill in the gaps and the holes...
In my life...which is diminishing like mold...

I'm not feeling good 
Everything I say
I feel misunderstood
Every single day 

Sorry I shied away...
I'm not a sunny day
I'm the clouds above,
Soaking in His love
I'm the rain,
So refrain
From making me cry...
I don't know why I try...

He didn't believe in me
Does He believe a boy like me?
I'm a man - can't they see?
I'm not the sparkling goldfish in the sea of splendor ecstasy...

I'm not feeling good 
Everything I say
I feel misunderstood
Every single day 

Sorry I shied away...
I'm not a sunny day
I'm the clouds above,
Soaking in His love
I'm the rain,
So refrain
From making me cry...
I don't know why I try...

I'm unpredictable in many ways
Going through this bipolar phase
I'm a crazy insane hopeless romantic fellow
For the rest of my life, I will have a goodbyed hello
By you of course...drenched in silent wars, fighting countless battles as the pouring sun pours by fours
Things are getting out of course
I'm the chariot and you're the horse...
Change is doing many challenging chores

I'm not feeling good 
Everything I say
I feel misunderstood
Every single day 

Sorry I shied away...
I'm not a sunny day
I'm the clouds above,
Soaking in His love
I'm the rain,
So refrain
From making me cry...
I don't know why I try...

In a bad state once more
I lie face first on the floor
Dealing with problems, not all my own...carrying everyone's load towards my abode 
Stepped on like a door mat - I suppose I'm not the only one that is treading this rocky road

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2016

Long Poems