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Best Vogon Poems

Below are the all-time best Vogon poems written by Poets on PoetrySoup. These top poems in list format are the best examples of vogon poems written by PoetrySoup members

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See also: Best Famous Poems

Details | Vogon Poem | |

Hotwired

Hotwired the orgasmatron
headed out on sixty-nine
know there’s nothin up ahead
and even less behind.
Pagination, pixilation
nothing seems to work
maybe just  I’m gettin old
maybe just a jerk
off that is
gee whiz
can’t ya take a joke?
Lost in smoke
years since last toke 
days since last drink
I think.
As ya'll can see
rhyme don't agree 
with me, 
so back to blank 
slate, mate
and the cheque's 
on you.
Iambic to the core
commonman’s  snore
such a bore.
Straight from the soul
infinite whole
or is that hole,
wasn’t  this 
supposed to be 
erotica?
Never know
have to go
Now.

Details | Vogon Poem | |

MAGNIFICENT OBSESSION

Painted me a lovely vision
Of a dream.. made a decision 
Mirrored hues of just you and me
The painter's brush said it could be
Thus, you became my magnificent obsession

Contest: Nette's "Reflections Of A Florette"
Date: 9-2-14
Poet: Lyric Man

Details | Vogon Poem | |

An ode to Jenni Mann

Oh an ode to jenni mann 
To write an ode, oh an ode to jenni mann
Would be good, and proper. 
Fitting.

Fitting, not like the clothes your distant aunty gets you.
They never fit. 
Ill-fitting
Unlike writing an ode, oh an ode to jenni mann.
Fitting.

When the plutonian shores of my heart wash asunder my sadness and heart-ache at your loss
I shall endeavour to beware the boars who gnash without remorse- they do make me cross
Their eyes filled with the darkness of the Forest of Dean
But who is the Dean? The Dean of a University? A cathedral perhaps?
Or is his name simply Dean Fitting?
Fitting.

We had weed cakes. 
The amnesia induced seizure did not please ya 
Nor did it ease ya into loving me 
Perhaps if I had sherbet it'd be different.
Sherbet? or Sherbert? I'm not a gambling man
I shouldn't have left you in your seizure jenni, i shouldn't have left you
Fitting. 

Now you're dead. 
And there's no amount of sherbe(r)t in the world that can bring you back to my nest of sexual decadence
My quagmire of lust is brown and hollow - like an easter egg, only there is no joy here jenni. 
There is no fun to be had without you, all I can now do is reminisce of sherbe(r)t, boars, seizures and ill-fitting clothes
I am stuck in a perpetual state of limbo, I failed to beware the burn, I am in an ever self-sustaining maelstrom of torment and sexual grief
F*ck

I am no longer, 
Fitting. 




Details | Vogon Poem | |

Ode 32 111 102 32 97 32 98 97 108 108 32 111 102 32 115 110 111 116

See, see the splurptious sky
Marvel at its big Mauve depths.
Tell me, dingle, do you
Wonder why the Aardvark ignores you?

Why its foobly stare
makes you feel Crappy.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your crumbobulous facial growth

That looks like
A Rotten fish.
What's more, it knows
Your flarpgurgle potting shed

Smells of a ball of snot.
Everything under the big splurptious sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm aliens?


Details | Vogon Poem | |

Revealed

I will not play this for the rest of my days
Their is nothing to gain
All done in vain
You got what you came for
I know who you are
The victory is yours 
We will live with our scar
We will pass through this darkness into the light
and leave you behind...Hopefully......You will do what is right......


Details | Vogon Poem | |

NEWS FLASH

NEWS FLASH

get a load of this
utah backward is a sneeze
forgive me utes, please

Dave Austin

Details | Vogon Poem | |

Pshhhhhhh Tckkk

I've been working really hard.
And I haven't done a thing.
The answer to the riddle isn't signaled with a ding.

Professions and confessions leave the door a bit ajar.
I've traveled many places, I've not gotten very far.
The only way to get there must be high up on a star.
Maybe someday I'll find my way with my human radar.

The endless dream of inhibition.
A life long scheme with no ambition.
An entry of just one submission.
To catch that big one while your fishn'.

What is the point of rambling on.
If it's still dark upon the dawn.
And clouds foreshadow yesterday.
Repeating everything you say.

I now have come to understand.
Why an Ostrich hides itself in sand.
It's not because it is afraid.
But maybe just needs some cool shade.

What image can an artist show.
To make the viewer ever know.
The vision that was born within.
That they look for with that sly grin.

Where does the end begin this time.
As I keep searching on in rhyme.
Awaiting a slight glimpse ahead.
To come alive before I'm dead.