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Sad Hate Poems | Sad Poems About Hate

These Sad Hate poems are examples of Sad poems about Hate. These are the best examples of Sad Hate poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme | |

All That Refuse To See

All That Refuse To See


Your ears shut wide eyes up tight
a menagerie sits in absent light
Time and reason are out of sight
stonecold now is courage's might!

Your eyes embrace a newfound cave
even logic can not your mind save
in blindness you are now a slave
treading a path to shallow grave!

Your screams raise no great alarm
dead plants harvest on your farm
No more shall love be your charm 
chained legs match each dead arm!

Your last days filled with cries
fruits set onto your many lies
Dark clouds moan in your skies
Heart rots as soul slowly dies!

Your death was an incoming tide
bled from arrogant false pride
Fait accompli no man can hide
none succeed, many have tried!

Robert  Lindley
01, 23, 1979


Details | Free verse | |

YOU

YOU

Your 
Uncaring eyes
Push me 
Repulsively 
Braise me down to a pit of abysmal. 
Your balance ego 
Keeps me on the void
Tainting my walls
While I, 
Twitch
Bitter 
Words 
Of yuck
Behind your back.

~SKAT~


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Free verse | |

Moments In Time

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark

The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been 
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Why

As I remain here where I lie,
I keep asking that I will quickly die.
 
I hate this stupid self-centered life,
where all people are filled with hate & strife.

As my mom feels so wonderful from popping pills, 
I'm stuck here with the worst gut-wrenching feeling that kills.

I'm sick of my life being filled with tears, cutting, & sadness.
Why can't we just end all the madness?

Why can't people have a life where no tears are seen, only laughs, smiles, & happiness.
And no one could intervene?


Details | Free verse | |

Hate-filled Love

I hate your touch and your smile.
Wicked little creature.

I hate your blue eyes and brown hair.
Sinful hate filled liar.

I hate your voice and your scent.
Rotten two-timer.

I hate you everything you do for what you did.
But we loved and touched, smiled, talked and connected physically.

You lied about our moments spend, 
you can't look me in the eyes.

You lead me on and stole my youth, 
but don't have the nerve to speak to me now.

I hate your beauty and your thievery;
but loved the way you made me fill.

I hate that you now do the same to another girl;
your lies blind her.

I hate the diseases you carry; 
love the infection you gave.

I love you and can't let go,
hate because I’m smarter than this.

I hate this poem because I think of you with every word...
Your eyes, your smile, your hair, your skin, and your kiss.

Most of all...

I love you for the time we had.
I hate you because you don't want me now. 


Now what???


Details | Free verse | |

The Hands of Pain

My soul pounds with rage.
This heart has been scorched,
by your burning words.

My soul gasps for light 
slowly suffocated,
By your hands of pain.

I bare the mark of shame.
Your touch has maimed my body.
My mind drowned out my screams.

Blow by blow,
Shamed so low.
Never did you know how,
Your hands of pain marked me.


Details | Rhyme | |

LOVES MY TRAGEDIES

It never takes much for me to fall in love,
but i love, love for all the reasons I hate love,
I love, love because love is what holds me through the night,
but that same love may hit me in a fight,
I love, love because love is my protection,
but that same love may hurt me from rejection,
I love, love cause no two loves are the same,
but falling in love is like continuing a game, and i just don't wanna play anymore,
I want a love that will love me and except me,
Don't try and change me,
but that is just the type of love that will never find me,
so instead of hating love, I fear love,
I fear love more then I love, love,
I have never feared expressing my love,
but I fear falling in love too deeply cause I know that is just the type of love that will 
hurt me, 
I have falling in love so many times,
it always seems like a race against  time,
love never stays with me,  it always leaves me,
it always finds a way to hurt me,
whether it's taking a boy from me, or taking away someone in my family,
loves my tragedies,
but without love leads me to sanity,
I hate the feeling of being alone because I spent my whole life alone,
 I'v done everything in my life on my own,
I don't think I deserve to be alone but I fear what love may one day do to me,
because love I know will one day hit me,
just like daddy hit mommy,
just like love hit my sister,
love wouln't let them excape and I'v seen the pain the blood and the tears,
so love has become the source of all my fears,
I never stay in love cause i feel the need to fun from love,  but this I will never tell,
I may say I love but it's not the same type of love inwhich you know of
because when I love I love deeply,
but my love for love is running swifly,
I am getting older by the year and one day I will have to live with a man,
but I will not love that man I will fear that man,  because if I love him he will grow 
mad, and he will one day hit me,
thats why I fear any guy loving me,
because loves my tragedies.


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate...

The collision of my feelings,
And the confrontation of words,
The lies,
All the lies…
Hatred, hate, all the hate,
I hate…

Drown in my pain,
Until you suffocate,
And free yourself from me,
To free me,
I hate…

A million words burn in me,
A thousand screams call for freedom,
For salvation,
But my soul is abandoned
In the void,
I hate…

Let me fade away,
Let me turn into black,
Let me dissolve into nothing,
To free me from myself,
I hate…

Fear,
Free my fearful heart,
And take me away,
Anyone…
Let these words stop:
“I hate.”

Break the chain of eternity,
Kill the immortality of my torment,
Let my blood flow in my veins,
And let the air circulate
In and out of my body,
I hate…

I hate…
You…and you,
I hate life,
I hate me,
I hate…
Everything,
Hate, hate, hate,

“Hate , hate , hate”
I woke up saying,
With the letters,
“H” “A” “T” “E”
Sliding between my lips,

I cried loudly,
For I felt it,
I felt the hate,
Conceal all my feelings;
I felt it make me grab a knife…
I stabbed myself!
I stabbed my heart…it made me stab myself…
Just to free itself from me,
And to free me,
Forever…  


 



Details | Free verse | |

I Hate Her

I hate her.
She isn't that ugly
And she has enough friends,
But i still hate her.

I hate her.
Her mind,
Twisting thoughts into illusions.
Illusions folding into reality,
All to escape herself.

I hate her.
All of her problems
She projects onto others
In the vain hope
That someone will wave their wand
And save her
From her fairytale nightmare.

I hate her.
All of her weird habits
And sudden depression
The way she cries about
The smallest thing
Cutting with her words.

I hate her,
This girl i see in the mirror.


Details | I do not know? | |

Phoenix

Knowing me now, I take the central target
No matter what it seems that I am lost
I throw away what could maybe save me
I break apart when I need to stand
If I am so much to me, why must I fall down?
To over-think what comes, I’m full of lies
But this self aggression is what I was raised on
Without depression I feel that I’d be gone

With hopes of grandeur and a hope obsession
With lies built up as though there’s no such thing
With hate affliction and a love addiction
I’d be dead before I’d even smiled

Knowing you now and my eyes wide open
I am the phoenix and I’ll take you down
For within this anger lies a desperate child
No matter what he knows he can’t be saved
Despair is over and his dreams forsaken
The ashes rise now and the blame’s on you
When I wake without the mask of laughter
I will scream and I will burn you down

My judge will die now and all words forgotten
I am fire in its purity
Even if you see me I’ll tear your eyes up
Burn you out with no sincerity
I’ll reach your mind and I’ll make it blind now
I’ll find a way to make you hate yourself

I am all of you and more
I’ve seen through everything before
What you feel will gather in me
And with this I will bring you down

I am fear and I am the helpless
If I live, my goals are far too dark
With self destruction and a fading mask now
Give me ears and I will avenge
The self conflictions that avert my eyes here
They’re too far gone now to ever stop
So give me anger and I know I’ll smile
Feed the phoenix and you will get burnt


Details | Rhyme | |

At Night Alone

  So here I sit, at night, alone
  Bored and just too many cigarettes to burn
  So I smoke and I wait, seemingly for a call
  And really just ache, cause it's not coming at all
  You're too many miles away from home
  I feel the distance at night, alone
  I hate you for the restless nights
  And I hate me because I know it's not right
  To sit in front of the computer screen
  Searching for the words I just want to scream
  Not even knowing the pain that I feel
  How to describe what feels so unreal
  I miss, just miss, everything that is you
  Laughing for hours at things that you do
  And how could it be that this is the end
  What was to be a lifetime of new things to begin
  But here I sit, at night alone
  And the numbness inside is all that I know


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Hearted

If this wasn't ment to be then why did God let it go this far?
If I cant have tou to myself, 
then why should anyone else?
Im tired of suffering while youre out partying with your friends.
I hate that I cant hid from all this,
but some how you find a way you can.
I hate when I see you for the first time in months.
I hate that I build myself up,
only to let you tare me down.
I dont wanna love you anymore.
I dont want to look at him and see you.
I dont wanna think of the "What If's".
I dont wanna see your face everywhere I go.
I dont wanna cry everytime I hear our song on the raido.
I dont wanna think about our past,
thinking of ways I could of made it last.
If you didn't love me,
then why did you lead me on?
If you didn't care then why were you holding on so strong?
If I was the one, then why are you with HER??


Details | Free verse | |

Love, I Hate You

Love, I hate you, 
Not ‘cos you’re ugly.

Love, I hate you, 
Not ‘cos you don’t love me.

Love, I hate you,
‘Cos of your great love to me.

Love, I hate you, ‘cos of it; 
A listener, you don’t want to be.
.
You heeded not what I said, 
Even thou, I beg you, to “back off!”

“Now, Look!
You see… what we’ve done!?”

A soul is in grieve, 
‘Cos of us.

With your love, 
My soul cries, too.

Love, I hate you, 
For intoxicating me, with your potion.

Thou, you know…
I am a married man.



Details | Rhyme | |

Put a bullet in my brain

Put a bullet in my brain
as the rain sweeps her out of my arms
and places her into another's.
Put a bullet in my brain
for I don't want to see love slip away
please end my suffering,
for I don't want to dare see her in the arms of another man.

I fear the tear that slips away from my soul
and touches the ground with a splash
as she is washed away by the lashed memories of the rain,
please, someone put a bullet in my brain.

I can't bear to see her with another man
laying in his arms
as he charishes her beauty
just like I did to her.
As she smiles and laughs at his jokes
my heart would not bare the sorrow and pain
that would tare my heart apart into pieces of tainted love.
Please tell the rain to stop,
as the pain grows when rain comes down,
please someone end my suffering,
put a bullet in my brain
and stop the rain
that washes away every memory of her.

Stop saying you miss me
and just kiss me
for I can't take the pain
of the rain that takes you away.
Kiss me and stop saying you miss me
for those are useless words to me.
Love is where it's at, so show me.
Don't go with him, he'll treat you wrong.
Love and laugh with me till the break of dawn
as we yawn the long night away.

Kiss me and don't say you miss me.
For if you go away from me,
I couldn't bare to take a tear and waste it away.
Tears, sweet tears crying for you,
doesn't that mean anything to you?
I ask you, stop the rain,
stop the pain and put that bullet in my brain.

Let the red blood flow from my temples.
Let the plow dig my grave,
for I can't bare to see you with another
in his arms, him kissing you, where I kissed you.
I can't take it, I have to make it,
make that pain go away.
Prayer didn't help, God turned a blind eye
when I came up and said why!
Put that bullet in my dome
and when I lay in the coffin, looking at the roof of the church
you come and kiss me, and then you can really say
that you'll miss me.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

SO blind

   All this time I have always had my doubts,
Not the person led to believe is what I found out.
   To be deceived and lied to for oh so long,
Down deep I knew there was something wrong.
   Head over heels I had fallen in love ,
Always thought you were sent from above.
   How the knife is twisted into my side ,
So much pain I can do nothing but cry.
   These memories of what I thought was real,
I'm confused and I don't how how to feel.
    Is this really possible that I did not know,
Through all this time it never showed.
    Such an evil thing to do to a man ,
Especially the lies which he could not stand.
    How cruel and cold your heart must be ,
To carry on as you did never letting me see.
     Hard to accept all those moments  so dear ,
Realizing they are now my greatest fears .
     What was to be Joy and Happiness,
Replaced by the feelings of a loneliness.
   Never did I imagine this happening to me ,
Thinking that you and I were meant to be .
   It's a very hard thing for a man to accept ,
When he finds out that he's been tricked.
    Was it the money or the control you had ,
Maybe because you are really just that bad.
    Some day soon for this you will have to pay ,
For the sins against me and your evil ways.
    Goodbye to you  who ever you are ,
For in this heart you have left brutally scarred.
Tac.


Details | Lyric | |

I Hate You Cancer

Dedicated to my Dad who lost his short battle w/ Colon Cancer on June 18,2013

I hate you Cancer
Your vile evil and cruel
You don't care who you hurt
I'll never forget that day
I'll always hate you for it

Your heartless Cancer
You took someone important from me
Someone important from others too
Took people who didn't belong to you
I hate you for it

You disgust me Cancer
You had no right to take him from me
He mattered more than my very own life
I hate you for taking my Daddy
I hate you for taking others too

I hate you with a passion Cancer
You took part of my heart with him
You took part of my soul that day too
I hate you for it
I hate you I hate you I hate you

I hate you with every fiber of my being 
Go back to Hell where you belong
I hate you, others hate you
Your not welcome or wanted here Cancer

I hate you more than his doctor's
I hate you more than God
I hope I get to witness that day
Witness the day you fall
And you will fall Cancer

You're gonna lose the battle one day Cancer
I'm gonna laugh and dance around your grave
You'll finally get what you deserve 
And you'll never be able to take another soul


Sabrina Niday Hansel


______________________________________________________________________
Placed 8th in Poet Destroyer A's  2013 "PINKTOBER" Contest

Please Support a Cure for Colon Cancer & every other type!









Details | Munaajaat | |

Tell Me

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know

Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know

Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that

You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know

You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me, Help me to understand

You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel

How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door

You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't 
Answer me, you owe me that much



Sabrina Niday Hansel
~Niday40873~

(motif) Spiritual


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Shunned

Breaking down in the heart and mind.
With all regrets that are truly not kind.
Shocked at people are, so painful to see.
Abused with hated and ecstasy.
Violated and directed with torments
Lost of words or comments.
Hatred gushing out of life long experience.
Reminding yourself to become absence.
Coward and scared to even breathe.
Like the feeling of knives unsheathe.
Sharp but not enough to cut.
Enough to scare like a door that immediately shut.
The hand raised to help you is a lie.
It is a hand that slaps you so you can die.
Rough around the edges.
Crawling in your dreams in ledges.
Powered to stay alive.
You feel people want you to take a dive.
Just stop, and fall down.
Hoping to break your mental crown.
Hiding a feeling that never feels real.
Like shaking hands with demons for a deal.
Blocked out, out of your own story.
Thinking that people are stealing your glory.
Ashamed with fear.
With eyes that are full of tear.
Lost in such hidden romance.
Luck has it seems to be a dance.
Moving around in your head.
With scary thoughts and dread.
Feels like you never leave.
So you feel so many that grieve.
In your mind that is lost.
Full of drama that holds you down in cost.
Keeping in the shadow.
You watch people so shallow.
Gut instinct says that life with them is a muse.
When your just standing your accuse.
Society is just so lame.
Like all the people that are in it your to blame.
Soloing life is a brief.
Walking away is some what a relief.
I dreamed of many things.
With beautiful sorrows of wings.
Wavered in a direction that leads no where.
Escaping everything by a hair.
Pointing into the sky.
And asking yourself why.
The cage is so big.
Just enough to put on a huge rig.
Moving back and fourth.
It feels that your life does not have a worth.
Caned by laws of laughter to deceive.
Shackled up to be bent to your will to receive.
When you hope to hope.
A person can just show you the rope.
They have such friendly hands.
Like the deserts of sands.
Dangerous it is to just keep walking in it.
Lost cannot find your way even a little bit.
Just seem like your heart feels dry.
Then you give up and give a sigh.
That moment that you do is just all a dream.
You are really in a ward you will scream.
Thrust upon you because you could not protect.
So what cost you is this effect.
Warping in to your mind to leave this place.
You feel full of disgrace.
With nothing to drink.
Causing your true self to think.
Grief is such a pain with sorrow to gain.
Looking out in your own rain.




Details | Ode | |

Love is a Sacrifice

You have my soul, but you have your fate Whatever your words, I’m willing to take You have my word; I’ll give you my breath It’s like a chain that would never be break You are my love with all my heart, I’ll fight for you with all my might. And in the way, you admire your goals, You hold my hands, but not so close. As you go to your chosen path, I’ll accept the fact that we will be apart. In the dark side, I leave behind Within my faith, that you’ll arise Please don’t look back, coz I’m fighting still I’m hurting so much! Don’t want to have you near I accept my fate for what it does, I’m bleeding so much, do you know for whom it was? You reach your goals, as you want to have, Would you remind the man that gave what he had? As you reach the stars, and be the one Be a sun that shines its own. After the rain, the rainbow comes, Like dark in the moon, when the light flash A glimpse from you at least a short For then I knew my pain is worth.


Details | Narrative | |

Don't Take My Kindness For Granted

You think that you know me
But you don't know at all
Every day you say your sorry
After that I fall
I hate it when you lie
You think your doing good
When all you cause is pain
Just tell me that you hate me
So my life won't be in vein...


Details | Pantoum | |

They Took Away My Innocence

They took away my innocence—
A child, but merely two years old.
My soul left with ambivalence;
I hate myself as I grow old.

A child, but merely two years old—
Abandoned, glossed over, abused.
I hate myself as I grow old;
Completely left confused and used.

Abandoned, glossed over, abused—
Why would a person hurt a child?
Completely left confused and used—
Naïf, so trusting, meek, and mild.

Why would a person hurt a child?
My soul left with ambivalence—
Naïf, so trusting, meek, and mild.
They took away my innocence.

	



Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Acrostic | |

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | Romanticism | |

A Flower's Funeral

A sweet flower's funeral
displayed in the cold months
of snowy weather and bone chilling shivers.
A sweet flower burned away, dried up;
buried six feet under.

Oh, my sweet flower,
how you once bloomed with no remorse,
like a madman blooming with beauty
and a glorious halo over your head
shinned with such power and blinding glory.

Oh my sweet flower how you have gone now,
resting in peace in the land of paradise.
Oh, my heart it is weak when I see your face,
of once beautiful smiles and warm embraces.
I can hear your crying out to be free.

Snowing and bone chilling cold ripes at my soul
and feelings of sorrow rage through my blood,
boiling my hatred to the world, for losing your
sweet and ever glorious beauty.

What I would give away, if I could be with you
one last night, one last night together
to hold you in my arms, to smell your sweet perfume
that brings back sweet memories of you and I.
What I would do to be with you,
such romance travels through my heart in the highways
of my veins in my body, love is all throughout me,
and my heart breaks when pictures of you start to collect dust.

My love for you, my sweet flower,
is still ingering through the air,
as I travel and look upon a tombstone
which shows your beautiful name.

Come to me my dear flower,
when spring comes,
come to me my dear, sweet flower.
And bloom once again,
twice as large as last year,
and ten times more beautiful then last year.
Come to me in the first months of spring
in my dreams, so I could sit and talk with you.
I miss you already,
and my heart crys,
my eyes flood with tears of sorrow.
I miss our love we shared.
Long walks,
cosy talks,
warm cuddling embraces
and beautiful displayed in a picture frame.
Now I hear the tapping of raindrops on my window pane.
That is all that keeps me company,
that and the rose you gave to me
and a picture of you and me.
Love is endless, even when blue eyed Death comes to visit
and play a game of chess with us,
we all play our game, my love.
I shall go tonight
in my sleepy slumber
and dream of you in the times of our height in our love for each other.
My lost love, you are gone, resting in paradise,
but never forgotten my sweet flower.

-10/6/2013-


Details | Ballad | |

Antigone

I am the face of misery
My life, a dissonance of autumn and spring,
The years are written in the same
Lugubrious, nostalgic grey
How can it be the author to blame?
I cannot scream this all away…
Burn nor Bleed this all away…
To Death I am Ordained

Lacuna ever growing
With Velvet sheets of life flowing
Aeons apart of my "royalty"
Under the mask the cannot see...
Can you dispel this tragedy:
Antigone - Epiphany failing

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

No words of hope
No words of hate
Do I have Lenore to send to me:
The sordid child of Thebes
Caught In the longest nightmare
life - the slowest way to die

I know this is my life 
But I'm not under control
under the mask the will see
Just Another Human

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

Can you dispel my life; this tragedy?
Can you control the storm in my mind?
I'm asking you: can you rid me
Of The Curse of Antigone?


Details | Rhyme | |

I Hate Aunt Floe

NOTE: This poem is a humoruos stab at PMS from a mans point of view

I can see your blood boiling
through  the blades I once called eyes,
they were once beautiful  like jewels
now they hurt my deep insides.
cutting at my guts
and like a noose on my  lungs;
your words seek like bullets 
your mouth like sniper guns.
I’m hit with each inaccuracy…
Being killed by words untrue;
and you even got the nerve
to tell me what you think I do.
But let me get mad
and try to plead my case;
then suddenly the world
is a f--ked up place.
You got tears running down…
What the Hell did I do?
We were just sitting and laughing
I could swear that we were cool.
Oh God…
Oh no…;
I should have seen it… 
It’s Aunt Floe…,
This battle can’t be won or reasoned
I think its best I go.
Cause I hate Aunt Floe 
and she hate me too;
she sit and talk sh-t
about the gum I chew. 
The color of my shirt…,
She say my look is a stair;
She say my best has no worth
And she doesn’t stop there.
I didn’t change
I’ve been the same 
these 28 days,
 but now I’m f_ckin A__hole 
Aunt Floe gave me that name.  
She said get out my face 
This aint your home no more,
But I’m more puzzled by 
What was said before.
I love you 
With her glossy eyes 
I knew it was true, 
But horribly sly
You see these words
make me the fool.
The one that’s cruel
That a__hole dude,
That sparked the fuel
To this f__kin feud.
But I swear to God
I didn’t start this sh_t,
Why would I give up my love 
To live my life like in a pit.
 This is horrible sh_t 
Wasted days spent,
On nothing but the worst
I could be bathed in your sent. 
You could be laughing 
While I’m smiling
But Aunt Floe Won’t let this be,
And the only way to make this right
Is hold my tongue  a week.
And that ain’t gone happen 
I’m a person too,
Not soft
But I got feelins
and don’t know what  to do.
Now its been six days
Unbelievable  rage,
She locked herself 
In the room
I call it her cage.
I smell a sent in the air
It wasn’t there before,
Now lookin down the hall
I see an open door.
Is this a trap 
I’ll guess I’ll see,
If I fall for another
 You know that’s dumb ass me.
Curled in the bed 
I think I know that girl,
But where’s the hells Aunt Floe
The one that f__ked my world.
She packed up and gone
Didn’t even say good bye,
Just came wit gang of bullsh_t
And vanished in the sky.
Is that you my dear
Can you please come here,
Listen close and crystal clear…
I hate Aunt Floe
 Next time she here
Make sure I’m stocked
with weed and beer.
I love you punk.  ?


Details | Ballade | |

The Hunter

The hunter

I saw a man once on TV
He was hunting grizzly bear
Then bear, he got the upper hand
And blood was everywhere
That man was in an awful state
But I lacked in sympathy
You live by sword, you die by sword
That’s just the way it be.

I knew a man, a fisherman
He hunted for big fish
But when his boat did over turn
He never got his wish
Cause big shark came and took his life
And Karma, it was done
It seems that this time hunter lost
And mother nature won.

It seems some folk are low on soul
And only live to kill
I have no sympathy for these
And nor I ever will
When the game gets turned around
They’ve only they to blame
Because they gained their pleasure from
This heartless killing game.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | Haiku | |

To Lose Someone You Love

To lose someone you love....
Its like trying to live violently among the peaceful people who are dying 
To lose someone you love....
Its like Im living in lies with laughter and happiness while Im truthfully sitting in anger and pain while crying
 Im grounded in shame yet Im still airborn with death together we flying 
Its hurts when one dies past groundshaken proximity under the hate but sent with earthshattering love above
 where we live to die yet we are born to survive where we bred to learn to get past all the ones we have lost with hate because ITS REALLY HURTS TO LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE.


Details | I do not know? | |

Family Matters

In the attic, above wooden floor,
through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door,
near the broken window and glass of the sore,
hiding in the shadows,
bloodstains on the wall.

 Number nine,
house at the end of the street,
where lights are low,
where silent never sleep.


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Try It

A single kiss from thy lovely lips,
so sweet and so divine,
yet I taste posion upon your tongue.

Your beauty so glorious,
like a blooming rose so beautiful,
yet, why do mine eyes go blind
in the sight that you walk along with another?

Yes you, walk with another,
arm under arm,
lips touching lips in romantic kisses,
it makes my blood boil,
for mine lips are dry.

For mine eyes have seen your glory,
yet no one here listens to my story.
You are evil, yes you are,
don't try to deny,
Listen to a man of experience,
you might as well save some expense.

I write of our long romantic walks
we took together, under the shade of olive trees,
how we went apple picking in autumn time,
and made love in the foyer.

Nomore of that sweet and passionate love,
nomore silent kisses in the night,
when the wind blows hard against the branches,
that tape violently on my windowpane. 
Nomore somber tears shed, when you got sick,
and nomore warm embraces when you shed tears of betrayal.

Betrayal now is a game played by a fool,
such as I,
to think I'd have a happy life with you?
Huh, only a fool would think such a thing,
but now I sit, looking at the foyer,
where we once made sweet, passionate love,
nomore will that foyer be filled with exotic pleasure.
Nomore will you be filled with smiles and exotic pleasure.
I've done my job, as a good man shall do,
now pack your things and get of my stage,
the spotlight yawns for anew,
and the audience grows tired and restless of you.

Now I live life anew,
you too shall see life in new eyes,
walking hand and hand with the blond, blue eyed devil
you call your own.
Shall he take one kiss from your lips,
and die of the posion he tastes on your tongue,
shall he go blind, when he sees your true, black beauty?
He will see the ugly soul, covered up by white rags,
and cheap makeup,
and then he will come to me,
and shake my hand in condolence
and say, "You were right!"

Now you are all alone,
looking for another, as you did many times before,
Now you are alone, walking an open road,
spying on another,
fear of being alone.
Now, you see when you play games with a good man's emotions,
don't try it,
because a good man is not meant to be toyed with.


Details | Rhyme | |

Ana

She writes her songs and her poems,
not one person know 'em.
She listens to the sound of her music,
she's stuck to it like a tick.

If someone took the time to listen,
her true colors would glisten.
She's put on a mask,
and hid everything when someone asked.

She was the type of girl who would always laugh,
making you wish it would last.
She was the type of girl who would smile the day away,
too bad it is no longer that way.

She is now the girl who is depressed,
I bet you're impressed.
Since no one could tell
that she was going through hell.

Everyone thought she was happy, 
when really, she felt crappy.
Everyone thought she was having the time of her life,
who would have guess her best friend was a knife?

She spent her days alone,
she seemed to do everything on her own.
Never once wanted help.
Thought she could do everything herself.

Then the day came,
when she lost the game.
She fell apart,
and everyone saw her broken heart.

They saw the way she overreacted.
Oh, if only you saw the way she acted.
She bruised herself, scratched herself, and made herself bleed,
no one knew what it was that she needed.

They saw her tears,
and that was what she feared.
They found out she wasn't okay,
oh, she hated that day.

Everyone found out about her secret,
and she wish they'd just forget,
but she knew they couldn't,
and that they wouldn't.

She left that town and started over,
no one knew she went undercover.
She said she got better,
when really... something else occurred. 

She secretly hurt herself,
and walked away from help.
Everyone thought she recovered,
when really, she was undercover.

She secretly wanted to get worse,
no one knew of course.
No one cared to ask,
if she was wearing her mask.

Now it's too late,
she locked the gate.
Killed herself,
everyone had forgotten she needed help.

Goodbye cold world,
this was a story of a girl
who once loved everyone
then feared who it was who won.


Details | Rhyme | |

Jennifer Part 3

She has so much pain inside of her,
she doesn't know how to address it.
So she turns the pain into anger,
after she explodes, she becomes quiet.

She goes up to her room, upset.
Why does the world hate her so?
She thinks to herself, “That’s it!”
But in reality, it isn't though.

She lies on her bed,
Pulls out her book and reads.
As she turns the pages, she loses her head,
In her mind, she thinks “This is what I need.”

A place to escape the world,
Somewhere she can run.
For it seems everyone hates this girl,
And nothing she does is fun.

She plays her cello 
And loses herself in the music
She does this when she feels low
Then she plays the song of her pick

She listens to the beat she makes,
Trying to make it sound perfect,
But oh, she keeps making mistakes,
She thinks that she will never get it.

She leaves the cello alone
And watches her shows
She then grabs her phone
And tells her best friend the show as it goes.

She leaves the TV on, 
Then she enters her laptop.
She stays on till dawn,
She just can’t seem to stop.

She loves the idea of leaving the real world
And entering an imaginary one.
That’s the story of the girl,
Who is never done.


Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | Rhyme | |

Living Without

I tried to write about love but I haven’t felt it. 
I tried to write about the sea but I’ve never seen it. 
Then I tried to write about the air, but I have never breathed it. 
I tried to write about magic but I never believed it.
I couldn’t write about god, all I have ever done is sinned.
And when I tried to write about life I found, 
I have never really lived.


Details | Rhyme | |

Death by Beauty

A smile moves across her lips
She gazes at her crime
A scar across her flesh and soul
To haunt her for all time
She’ll waste away for all she cares
Never stops to use her brain
Doesn’t care about the ones who are close
All she cares about is pain

She wants to be what the others expect of her
Doesn’t care about the self-respect for her
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Can’t she see what all she has got
Already?

Never to go back again
She feels the world is at an end
She will never show her grief
Although she’ll cry in empty streetS

She’d sooner live like a desolate mole
Living in fear in an empty hole
Screaming silent wails alone
Content to live in her mental home

A final tear falls from her eye
It hits the ground, it’s followed by
A beautiful body, mutated by hate
A kind word could have stopped it, but it is too late
One two many bricks in the wall in her mind
Molding her demise because her heart was blind
This self conscious being could never have won
For she was destroyed by the beautiful ones

She wouldn’t fight back, wouldn’t respect herself
In the end, she managed only to wreck herself
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Little did she know, she had all she had sought
Already


Details | Concrete | |

Observer

A serpent underneath blue sky,
in shade of man, in twinkle of an eye,
above brick wall, in the structure, at the floor,
venom of white dove; contaminated food, undrinkable water,
misguided youth, pregnant daughter, unfaithful father and hateful son,
mothers do pray while we walk through Babylon;
on teli and in the press, on top shells,
price none the less, in bedroom and at your door..
dawn of a new day seemed to be dark,
after all.


Details | Rhyme | |

Shield Me

Shield me from this stain I bear,
remove this filth and smut I wear.
Cover my eyes from the evil truth,
discard these lies and hide the proof.

Guard my heart, these beats of pain,
from this spattered torn, loveless stain.
Protect this tired, worn out soul,
the one who beats out of control.

Defend my honor, grace and trust,
uncoil these spoils, away we must.
Preserve the mutiny, oust the pure,
coral the innocent with your evil lure.

Safeguard the takers, fakers and rest,
loosen the chains around this chest.
Release my dignity, vanity and control,
please shield my heart and cover me whole.


Details | Quintain (English) | |

Mom

The thought of you makes me feel choked
Speaking your name is like swallowing glass
If you were in my arms you would be blood soaked
The foul memories of you never pass

You did nothing good for me
Made me feel like i was rotting inside
I tore out my eyes cause you were all i could see
I wanted to kill you, so i tried

You filled my mind with corrupt thoughts
Forced me to say lies like "love you lots"
But my hate for you, you can never comprehend
I want to watch your pain never end

Why do you keep me here tormenting me
Cant you see what you did to me
Why do you act like you did nothing to make my heart sore
I hate you so what am i here for

You took away everything i ever cared for
I will hate you in my heart to the very core
I want to spill your guts on the floor
Because every day i hate you more and more!


Details | Rhyme | |

Seeking accompany

Seeking accompany- Zamreen Zarook
 
I kick to wonder what made me to cry,
Am really writing as a fry,
Myself launch to be dry,
This ink will be a victim for my cry.
 
What really went wrong with me all these day,
What made e to forget my last day,
I realized I jumped out of my track yesterday,
So I regret for that, what is called as present today.
 
Happiness have started to wave hands for this sinner,
Sadness have started to move inner,
The faults that I considered as miner,
So far changed as a miner of a winner.
 
My face was a comparison to sunlight,
Where as my routine changed it to moon light,
I wish to get that twilight,
As a sinner I started to search for that enlight.
 
I started to enjoy what is right,
I remade my faults as a kite,
I wished it would fly apart from my  sight,
My system said, you are free from your rubbish weight.
 
It proved that I always should depend on god,
In whatever the variation of my mood,
He is there to clear my victorious road,
So, I started to live according to His code.


Details | Free verse | |

Wonders of my life

I can't help but wonder
I can't help it but I just have to look back
The scar's that I have healed
Every picture I have is so random
I could cry a river
I can't stop the anger within
How can I love and hate thee at the same time
You were supposed to be my shield but you burnt me
You were supposed to be my oxygen but yet you're my 
carbon dioxide
My heart feels like an Ice box
You're a part of me
You're my strength yet my weakness
You're past yet my future
You're my enemy yet my family
I hate you and i love you at times
You break me but yet you make me


Details | Rhyme | |

Paper Thin

Your paper-thin porcelain skin,
I know how to get right under it.
For kicks is why I do it now.
You tell me to love but I never knew how.
Our feet hitting pavement,
We spent the day in sunny California with sun kissed skin.
I’m learning to forget and how to fade scars,
And you let me let myself down so hard.

Your paper-thin porcelain skin,
I know how to get right under it.
And now I just do it for smiles,
We’ll never see flower girls stumbling down aisles.
I’d lose my head just before that chance,
But if you want we can still have a first dance.
Cause I think I say things that I don’t mean,
Once upon a time you meant the world to me.

Your paper-thin porcelain skin,
I know how to get right under it.
But I’m trying to refrain,
To make this not all end up in vain.
Maybe I can learn to love like some people do,
And you can learn to love yourself a little too.
Or it is in all fairness to let this go?
I guess we can try but then we’ll never know. 


Details | Free verse | |

Light To Dark

You think you’ve gone just far enough,

I could smile knowing you’ve gone far enough that you can’t go back again

You think you were careful but,

I’ve caught a glimpse of your true, wretched form

You think you can find a way into my good graces

I’ve seen what you are, monsters with a friendly costume

You can’t deceive me anymore and, I don’t consort with serpents

You think I’m a game to be played but, trust me, you could never win

Don’t underestimate me

You think I’m a joke but, trust me you won’t be laughing

You think I’m just talking myself up but, trust me, you’re the ones going down

My eyes took too long to adjust

Better late than never

It may take a monster to know one but, I promise my teeth are sharper than yours

My first reaction to the hideous revelation that was your form was to weep

Fall to my knees, maybe even wretch my heart from my chest and onto the carpet

Then I thought about the mess it would make

I decided the only blood that will spill, will be your own

I was not weak, but I had a weakness

A heart of soft gold stitched to my sleeve with care

No longer

Now my heart is a stone so heavy

I could kill at least two birds at once 

Being the nice guy is a thing of the past 

Thanks for freeing me of that softness

You thought I was all sunshine and delicate things

When really I had just been swallowing razor blades

Now that sun is setting and I hope you see it was you who were wrong

Can you feel my darkness coming, because it’s eager to hold you

If you thought I was the one who would just stand still or turn to run

Your gonna be the one with tired feet

I’m not sad anymore

Just sick with the plague of your lies

Contagious, and I’m looking for someone to kiss

Even angels can make themselves wicked

When we do, we take no prisoners

Still think I’m a game

This one is just beginning


Details | Free verse | |

When a Man cries Himself to Sleep

When a man cries himself to sleep,
it is a sad sight to see,
tears roll off his cheek
and onto his bed sheets and pillow case.
When you hear his somber cries,
you can feel his pain
when he wimpers like a child who treds in fear.
No one knows what they do to a man
when they play with his emotions,
lead him on,
take advantage of him.
They don't know what they do to an innocent man
looking for love.
They break his heart that is full of love,
they stab him in the back
when he needs them at his most vulnerable moment
they laugh at him, and tease him,
Do they know what they do to a man?
They slowly kill a man, who just wants a simple kiss on the lips,
they kill a dreamer, a good man, with a big heart.
They drive a man to his bed,
with tears running down his face
and force him to dream of nightmares.
When a man cries himself to sleep, 
it is that saddest thing to see.
Goodnight and sweet dreams...


Details | Narrative | |

When I Was A Child

It started when I was a child
I was a kid with a gift
That no one understood or recognized
Instead of loved I was picked on and ostracized

However I blocked it all out
But little by Little its all coming back
Like layers of an onion
That held me tightly wrapped

Bits and pieces of my memory
That were hidden away in code
Deep within my mind a door was closed
I?ve reached in to remember because my life is now in jeopardy

All the emotional and sexual abuse that I closed off to survive
Has been staring at me sabotaging my life
This life is not what I have dreamed and I am dying inside
And if I don?t face the truth of what was done to me 

Then I will surely become the monster that I despise
And as the tears bellow up
I again take another breath
Like soot in a fireplace and a hair ball in a cat

I cough up the toxic memories
As images flash through my mind
With my face in the toilet I begin to cry
My body begins to stiffen as nausea rises to the top

I then begin to wail from deep in my chest
It?s a hideous cry that sends chills down my spine
As I grit my teeth and hang on for dear life
A thought runs through my mind why.. why.. why.. why.

I?m tired of the black outs
I?m tired of the fear
I?m tired of the loneliness that have held me prisoner here
I?m tired of the pain and suffering that has come in my parents name

I?m tired of all the trauma and I?m tired of all the drama
I?m tired of the neglect that?s been perpetrated on my soul
Keep your hands off of me, keep your beliefs away from me
From all the mental abuse and all the negative remarks
And you still don?t see how you?ve damaged my sensitive heart
 
I?m tired of hearing all the denial
I?m tired of hearing how there is nothing wrong with you
I?m tired of you blaming everyone else but you
I?m tired of hearing how you hate this and you hate that

I?ve tried for years to heal this wound
But it seems to have spread to my nephew too
I don?t know what else to do
I even ruined my only serious relationship to get revenge

In my mind I justified their crime 
From all the bad advice and all the dysfunctional decisions
And I thought I was reversing everything 
When I vowed never to get married and have kids
But that sabotaging act has done me more damage 



Details | Free verse | |

Death, it is a sad way to go

Death, it is a sad way to go,
to leave this earth, dressed in your Sunday best
While faces surround you with tears
breaking the barriers of their emotions
tearing their hearts apart, looking down
upon my stone face, upon the face, lays a simplistic smile
that shows no emotion, no teeth, no life.
Death, it is a sad way to go.

People hurry, say their goodbyes,
but when your alive,
they never come around, they never call, they never even think
of you and how you are feeling.
While you walk the streets, with a smile on your face,
nothing but knives stick sharpe in my back and gossip
burns a hole in my soul and heart;
but I keep on walking and smiling.
I keep rolling on through like a summer hurricane
tears apart a coastal city in the heat of June weather,
Walking till death comes to shake my hand and grin at my soul.

Then as you lay their in your casket
with a buqouet of your favorite flowers, (Roses and Tulips)
they sit around you, the same faces, the same blind eyes
and they all shed tears and says good things.
Too late for that don't you think?
Death, it is a sad way to go, but what relief you get,
when finally departing in peace and leaving the drama
and careless people in your life.
After I am put six feet under, a week of crying passes,
After two weeks I am lost and long forgotten,
nothing but a stone at my cranium to keep me company
and my new friends, who sleep along next to me.
Dead and forgotten, but the dead never forget their fellow lost souls.
Only the living forget such souls that were so good to them,
now they are gone,
I am gone.
How do you feel, now that I am gone?

Death, it is a sad way to go, but what peace you recieve in Paradise.


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Depression

It’s normal to feel a dark cloud’s shadow
Rise above us every once and a while; 
And to feel as though the sun has faded
Behind a mountain we can’t seem to climb. 
To choke in the icy, blue waters of 
Sadness; struggling for gasps; struggling to grasp
A hold; to relieve of that depression. 
And somedays we wish we would just drown; 
But breathe, still, no matter to the struggle.
So we harm ourselves to satisfy needs; 
To feel a control over our own lives
And unoppressed by the world around us. 
To remind us that we can hurt ourselves;
More grievously than the world can hurt us;
More courageously than our friends hurt us; 
But with scars shallower than on our hearts.
Depression emanates real bravery; 
Where in rain an eagle soars above clouds; 
A sad survivor does so without wings. 



This is a poem I've written to remind me when I'm at my lowest 
that it's okay to be down and out; that I'm not a coward for not 
feeling "normal". I was bullied a lot throughout my school years- through all of 
them in fact- and with depression sometimes you're on top of the world and 
sometimes you just want to dig your own grave.


Details | Free verse | |

Burn Away

BURN AWAY

We have all lost our way
To see starlight gazers
And men with broken hearts,
Seeking love in all of the wrong places;
Vacant lots, where women all looking for something,
But not quite knowing what they look for.
We have all lost our way.

The only hope of humanity
Is the shining sun
That breaks through the blinds of my window,
And the faint memory of me and her
Lying on our backs in a grassy meadow,
Holding hands
Looked up and counted stars.

Cities burn away,
Sky, stars, moon, sun all burn away;
The grassy meadow
Where we once lay, all burns away
Everything burns away,
Memory and desire and love all burn away
With the snap of a finger, and a new man
In her own life,
And I burn away.

A picture of her hung high and praised,
A picture of me, in a dark box
That collects dust, in some lonesome
And dusty, cobweb infested attic.
And I burn away with a new day.
I burn away.

A nightmare that I can’t awake from,
It is endless and repeats
When thoughts of her are all over my mind,
I cannot take such nightmarish reality
Too see her and smile,
And she walks away without a trace
Of ever returning.
And I cry,
And I burn away,
The tears wash the fire away,
And turn me to ash,
The wind picks me up and takes me away.

And for one peaceful moment,
I do not cry,
I do not burn away.
For a moment I am happy
And I smile,
And go away for a while
And let them all sleep in peace.

-10/2/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

Flat Canvas

Flat canvas;

Bubbling brown ridges strike 
The confining dimensions in a hostile yawn: 
Upwards, Outwards.

Walk the world no longer, an ending beckons, 
A precipice builds moments where swallows wager wings 
On new seed: New breeds.
Falling buys the assurance of seconds
From a sinking well. 
Oh well.

Remember us when the globe begins to slip,
Bang drums for our pity:
Our crescendos mean less than meaningless.
And then, when spheres crack, continue 
On the whorl of a thumb, 
Stretching hope to nothing.
Run.


Details | Verse | |

To the liers

To the liers who were
Great artists, manipulators,
Perfect friends and honest lovers...

To the liers who were
Talkative and silent,
Kind and sweet,
Walking out many miles
Pretending they carried
Love and trust...

To the liers I speak.

You are there still believing
In your goodness, and you are proud
Of yourselves.
But how sweet and true do you
Look before the God's eyes?
Have you ever thought about?


Details | Free verse | |

Let Me Go

Let Me Go!
I don't want this anymore!
I can't go to sleep at night,
all I seem to do is write.

Sometimes I read...
I read until I finish.
When I finally go to sleep,
I hear the sound of the alarm "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

Oh gosh,
I can't handle this anymore.
I am going crazy here
and no one seems to notice it, my dear.

I cry myself to sleep.
telling myself everything will get better.
BUT IT DOESN'T!
And I know I mustn't

but I want that knife
just as much as I want that gun
I hate this world
and everything about this girl

She sings and tries to get attention
yet no one gives her the time of day.
She falls into the books she reads
no one knowing, it is escaping, she pleads.

This girl is me,
oh but you knew, right?
Since all I ever talk about is me!
Gosh, can't you see?

I'm my enemy!
I'm my own nightmare!
No one is hurting me!
It is me who shouldn't be let free!

Lock me up! 
Kill me!
That way I won't harm myself...
I'd like it if it was someone else

Please, do me the favor
and let me go
for no one can save this girl
from this cruel world.


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | I do not know? | |

Pardon my Insanity

I don’t want freedom. Forgive me for sounding paranoid or crazy.
But this man used me. After knowing my history of pain. 
Now I see why people kill the victims and themselves.
Doing away with all evil its emancipation. 
At my wits end. Where sanity has eaten away my brains.
Where my soul has no resting place. And tears are like acid.
That burns through my cheeks. Pardon my insanity.
For I have fallen too many times. Where getting up is just powerless.
My heart is caged. All the impact and friction it took, For years.
And still it beats. Keeping me alive to face another brutal blow.
Pain so severe. No medicine or words of encouragement
Can put me at peace. Love is inadmissible here.
For I am deceased .

01/17/13

 


Details | I do not know? | |

I Hate You Like*

I hate you like the Eclipse of the sun and moon====== 
Lightning, thunder, twisters,and Hurricane # 7 destruction upon my hate====

I hate you like the father who walked out on us======
Hating you is the only way we can relate========== 
Fire, burn, heat , and smoke, igniting the hate in flames=== 

I hate you like the lion who can't wait to devour his prey===== 
I hate you like ivy with poison to irritate ===============
I hate you indeed, deeper than the abyss in space=========
Black, ebony, coal, and darkness you fell in my pit of hate==== 

I hate you and dispise all your living ways==========
I hate you because I want to==========
I hate you and nothing compares================ 
I hate the living guts out of you ================ 

*Written by: P.D. as a request from me (an opposition to my original poem: I Love You 
Like)...thank you P.D. for your awesome talent
 



Details | Free verse | |

HATE ME NOW

Hate me now when you can still find your way back home
Hate me now to see what is good for you
Hate me now when your view of me is not what you see
Hate me now in the morning for your meaningful afternoon
Hate me now in this sunny noon so I can melt with the sun set
Hate me now before the crack of dawn for your redefinition
Hate me now for what I didn’t do for you
Hate you now for all the things u didn’t do for me
Hate you now when I can also find myself another home
Hate you now for all the promises you never live up to
Hate you now for I see the sun shines again for me
Hate us together for all the thing we didn’t achieved


Details | Free verse | |

Das Ein Mannlein


Das Ein Männlein

The silent echo reflects through the lodge,
Ein Männlein Steht im Wlade ganz Still und Stum…
Repeating itself in the young boys head.
He is not yet a man, but stands proud enough to be,
Coming back here to relieve himself of his past.
Crying out as he reaches the splintering and tilted door.
The memories of the cold, the blistering cold overpower him.
He spends time collecting himself as the moon moves across the sky.

He had been here with his family-
Says the toppled dining room table.
He also wasn’t the only child in the lodge-
Says the curled up paper dolls in the fireplace.
There was music- Ein Männlein Steht im Wlade ganz Still und Stumm…
Echoes the toppled ivory-keyed piano in the corner.
There was a war, as the Russian Graffiti on the wall complains.
The crashed bomber-plane with the seat full of bones assures that fact.

He came back to the rotting lodge in the forest
Back to the overgrown pile of shambles to find something
As he digs he picks objects out of the rubble, a boar’s head, jewelry, dog-tags,
And finally the thing he seemed to have been searching for.
A baby’s bathtub, with a scrolled handle, stares at him through the dust.
What happened to the other child?
She still has all of her baby teeth in her sweet little baby head.
She’s been sitting in that bathtub ever since that horrible night.
When she was boiled to death by hungry war criminals. 


Details | I do not know? | |

I Will Rise

I’m about to call it quits.
One more f*cking Moron  and I’ll be sick.
I let you walk all over me not once not twice….
I lost count. Now I’m labeled conspicuous
Because I attract all the d*cks.
wasn’t it you who said you’ll stick around through
Thick and thin?
Now when the tough get going you hide like a b*tch!
How many more “demons” do I have to wave through
Let me go. Set me free. I don’t wanna be apart of you and your evil.
I’m not asking to live like Mario and Peach.
But enough is enough I’m tired of the blows.
I bent over backwards to save your as*
And in the end you put me last.
Who were the one who carried you when you were “weak”
Broke bread with you so to speak.
I was your bank when you couldn’t stand on your own damn feet.
So I’m walking away with my head held high.
They will be no more cries.
No more tears run down these cheeks.
Get behind me mother f*cker.
You are beneath my cleats!
12/02/12


Details | Lyric | |

Bruises

Bruises
By: IzaDonna

Surrounded by darkness
Emotions hidden away
Bruises disguised with smiles
Never would think it
That my past still haunts me
The scars still completely cover me
I hide them so you can't see
I'm really not at all okay

Chorus
The bottles eases the pain
The dust numbs the ache
Can I ever just forgive?
Instead up building up this hate
I just want to find peace
I want my smile to be real
But its hard to do so
When I can no longer seem to feel

Frightening dreams keep me awake
Forever replaying in my mind
Life seems to be so much longer
This winding road so much harder
Can I just get a release
Beat these inner demons and be free
Or do I have to be forever cursed
With the ghosts of the past

Chorus

I look up at the stars
And close my eyes tight
Its time for last good-byes
Its time to end this tonight
I take one last chug
And fall to the ground
Take one last gasp
And then no longer make a sound

Chorus

I'm finally okay


Details | Free verse | |

Blame It On The Rain

Blame the rain for your sin, You said you loved me, I just want you to say How much you care about me. There were a lot of day's I await in the park for you, A pain inside of my heart, I'm destroyed from the inside. I hate you so much, It making me sick. Memories are crossing my mind, I'm tired of my heart being broken. My body walks but I'm not there, I still love you, I don't know why ? It doesn't makes sense, why ? It feels like I'm drowning In my own tears. I've always treated you right, I loved you endlessly, but You love someone else. All I can think of is hate and pain, The reason of your absence In the park is another, But you blame it on the rain. _______________________ Contest: Blame it on the rain Sponsored: Black Eyed Susan


Details | I do not know? | |

Goodbye

I pray one day for happiness.
I pray one day for peace.
I pray one day I'm left alone
and this pain will finally cease.

Don't hate me because I'm different.
Don't hate me for having love.
Don't hate the fact that I know GOD
is guiding me from above.

I wish you knew my pleasures.
I wish you knew my pain.
I wish you knew how hard I try 
to let the love remain.

Maybe we will never
see things eye to eye.
But hate will only cause more pain.
So let's just say GOODBYE.


Details | Free verse | |

breathe, suffocate


velvet tears slip down my cheek.

a gentle cry.

and the wet drops seep in the corners of my mouth

until

my lungs are full of my own salty, crystalline tears,

bringing buoyancy to boats that sail inside my veins.

as a rule, I try not to cry.

if a single tear is shed, who is to say that another will not follow?

compelling the rest to join

until I’ve immersed myself in the sea I’ve incepted,

and soon

all I see are the opalescent peaks of water colliding with my skin.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Emotional Hole

I did not find myself to be so important
So I ask my friends do I seem distant?
When I ask the question I had received an answer, Yes
So I think that made it clear that I had been not the best
I am a friend of a friend that talks so many things
That friend talks to much it is insane and insanity it brings
I do care, about my friends they are all good people
They tend to stand on their high steeple 
Today I find myself not so aware
Disbanding my fear of regret and care
Walking many different paths I see that I have found holes
It is the path that people choose to use to fuel their rage with coals
Coals are partially burnt wood or fossils a piece of fuel
It is the source of burden and fire a rage of emotions that stands cruel
It can be warm and caring, but it also can be baring
I just start to feel so low, below the ground I keep on staring
I reach for my friends so many times I feel so ignorant at times
Just once I feel I should not rely on them when feeling I can not find 
I dig my hole deeper and I can not climb out
For some reason I am just full of doubt
I care about so many things and what I have is confusion
One person should be all I should think about to get out of that illusion
My battle in my heart and mind is not at all so pleasant
I feel so alone in an island that is shaped like a crescent
My emotions is like coinciding with a diameter of the semicircle
Not a full emotion that is complete like a circle
My feelings is circular full of incomplete thoughts, so much deeper
I feel it will wake up my evil half a evil soul that is a sleeper
What question should I ask myself? to believe that I am not so alone
As I feel like a person who is deteriorating to the bone
I ask my friends the same question once again
I figure I should do it, to know what kind of feelings I should end
So many thoughts that come out of my feeling
I feel like my friends take, an emotional trauma of stealing
They ask me questions and I answer theirs
But when I need mine answered I feel burning inside like a flare
Are they even friends when they do not take me serious in anyway
Just put me in my hole cause I feel nothing in their will be getting in my way
It's just so simple to answer someones problem
I answer friends with beauty of a rose, but when they answer mine I get the stem
I know the stem is very important in life, with out it how can a rose be a rose
With a hole to put the root and stem in how can it grow
The words we speak I guess is like all natural things we reap and sow


Details | Rhyme | |

This Battle in My Head

Why do I feel so alone?
Why must I have this feeling,
when His love is shown?
Why am I crying?

I hate how I deal
with everything thrown at me.
Why must I feel
like there's nothing I can achieve?

I know He's here,
and I know He cares,
but I always fear
that no one's there.

I feel as if 
everyone will leave me.
Almost as if
no one loved me.

When I know
everyone cares...
It's just hard to show,
I just wish they were fair.

I cry almost every night,
thinking of how to die,
of how this came into my sight,
how to say goodbye.

I'm sorry.
I know this isn't right.
I've just been lonely, 
all I want to do is to stop this fight.


Details | Lyric | |

Thin Line

Thin Line 


You hate me when i am around you 
you hate me when i am away
if hating thrives you everyday
i am your energy and 
your medicine at your need
when you gossip for your play.

Poetry 5/18/12 by  Keith K. Relf


Details | Rhyme | |

The Breakdown

Kill me now,
no one needs to know how.
They don't care anyways,
let me waste away.

I'm so alone,
I'm always on my own.
I was happy one minute,
now I want to cut.

I'm trying to stay strong,
but it's been too long.
I'm giving up,
since no one is helping me up.

I'm falling down,
and there's no one around 
to keep me sane,
so all I want is pain.


Details | Rhyme | |

Are We Trying to Remove God From Everything


 UNSUPPORTED CODE We often hear this topic across our nation.
Another person crying; “discrimination.”

In our many attempts to not discriminate.
It seems like it’s God that we seek to eliminate.

It seems like we’ve come up with our own “rules.”
And somehow have turned into a bunch of “fools.”

We accept many perversions of various kinds…
But God himself?  We seem to close our minds!

In many of our lives,  we’ve “kicked “ him out.
And refuse what he really is about!

The words, “In God we trust...”  Our money bears it!
Anything of God?  We’re afraid to share it!

It seems like the courts almost say he doesn’t exist!
And have brought much confusion into our midst!

As many say it’s “offensive” to display a cross…
Many godly values have already been lost!

It’s time to wake up America!  And begin to see!
The kind of country we’re beginning to be!

A country that’s foundation is getting off course.
Being driven by a wicked and ungodly force!

Out only hope is in God!  And him alone!
We must invite him back into our homes!

To God and his word we must hold secure and fast!
He is our only hope that our country will last!


By Jim Pemberton


Details | Verse | |

Crying out

Crying out loud,
Crying for no reason,
A girl without future,
A girl stuck in the prison.

Where dreams are coming out?
When they take her dreams away?
A girl without future,
A girl without desire.

How many things are missed?
How many words are left unsaid?
A girl is crying out,
A girl stuck in the world.

Where is an explanation?
Where is a hero?
Is it fine now when
Girls within are still believers
But outside they hate
Every detail and season
Hidden in the eyes of men?


Details | Rhyme | |

Shattered dream

An empty screen is like a shattered dream, 
Inside my heart I feel the scream!
There is nothing more to say,
Nothing will brighten up this day!

I feel only the emptiness,
I have had it with your aggressiveness!
All your words so dirty, verbal abuse galore;
I just cannot take this anymore!
You think you are so tough?
Well, I have had enough!

I am hurting like never before;
My tears are running, no they pour!
I kept on clinging, hoping things will get better;
But I’m crying, my eyes are just getting wetter!

I have realized that our lives will never be the same;
And all you can do is give me the blame!
You are killing me with words, slowly but surely!
Calling me names, making me feel filthy!

I lived in fear of you, but deep down inside I knew;
That you are a person that tears at other people’s hearts;
Your hate for me must be going off the charts! 
Destroy me, is that all you can think about?
You are making it your mission in life, without a doubt!
You make me sick to my stomach, blaming it all on me;
The blame is on the both of us, yes, we!

You will never admit that you are wrong;
No wonder, it’s your drink that makes you strong!
My heart cries out, why must I always be in pain? 
Must my life always be the same?

What a shame, a strong man... 
but an unwell women you can blame.  
I hope you hang your head in shame
Because I am, forever, erasing your name! 


Details | Rhyme | |

Bullied By Bullies

They tell you what to do,
They decide who you are,
They tell you how to think,
They take it way too far.

They pick all of your friends,
If you're allowed any at all,
They push you down,
You can't break the fall.

They keep digging at you,
Kicking you when you're down,
No one helps you recover,
That's why you always wear a frown.

They won't leave you alone,
Their agression fails to subside,
Physically or not,
The forms of bullying are all allied.

You don't know what to do,
You can't decide who you are,
You are told how to think,
It's going way too far.

You've got limited friends,
If you have any at all,
You've been pushed down,
There's no way to break the fall.

You've had enough of them digging at you,
They keep kicking you when you're down,
You need help to recover,
To stop that horrid frown.

You want to be left alone,
You want their agression to subside,
Whether they hit you or not,
The bullies are all allied.

You no longer care anymore,
The pain is just too much,
You separate yourself,
From the bullies and their clutch.

Alone in your room,
You believe, is the safest place to be,
Forget school and going out,
It will soon work out, you'll see.

You need to talk about it,
Tell someone who's in power,
Bullying must be stopped,
In this week, this day, this hour.


Details | ABC | |

Sometimes I Like To Pretend Things Never Came To A End

Sometimes I like to pretend, things never came to a end. But over time, our love became a crime. I didn't know what we had, would ever end so bad. But then I knew things weren't right, when we started to fight. Now I walk down memory lane all the time, the pain is worst then committing a crime. We only caused eachother pain, but we were eachothers maine. I thought things would be alright, but I cried alot that night. I don't want things to change, without you my life is strange. You said you wanted me so much it started to hurt that you couldn't wait, now im just another person you hate. When you said you didn't care, I knew the person I loved was no longer there. You aren't the same, the new you is lame. We both fell, now it's hell. You use to always be here for me, like family. But now your nowhere in sight, things aren't right. Empty is all that I can feel, I still can't believe this is real. I didn't mean to let you get away, I didn't know what to say. Am i with the right guy, or am i telling myself a lie. I was afraid to loose what we had, but to you that choice was bad.


Details | Free verse | |

the old you

How can love come and go so fast?
I really miss the way we were.
I still love you even though I hate you
I hate that you made me cry
And how it is so hard everytime to say goodbye
I didn't like that last hug
I can feel little heart strings given a tug
I want the old you to hold me 
I want the old you to come back
I want my whole life to be back on track
The ringing is about to stop
No more "I love you, I really do"
No more staying on skype till two
The old you is gone and for awhile even you're not coming back
I wish I woudn't have got mad for somethings so dumb
So that now my heart wouldn't be so numb
If we could have made game plans and talked things through 
Right now I wouldn't be missing you 
The old you would still be here
And I wouldn't have these painful tears


Details | Rhyme | |

You Make Me Mad

You make me mad
I just want to scream
Why did you do that to me?
Did it give you a rise? 
to see the affects, of all the heck 
of a mess and the stress 
You put me through
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!




10/23/09

Max


Details | Free verse | |

These are the things i hate about you

Your smile,
You've been gone for a while.
These are the things i hate about you.
Your laugh,
Inside you cry,
These are the things i hate about you.
And i,
I think you're smart for letting me go,
But i just wanted you to know...
I love you,
I miss your smile,
A tear still sheds from me,
even though its been a while,
 And even though your gone,
Somehow,
I still hear you voice,
Somehow...
And i love you,
I miss your style,
A tear still sheds from me,
Even though its been a while.
And now that your gone,
Somehow,
I still wish you were around,
Somehow...
I miss you...
I miss you!!!


Details | I do not know? | |

Please Come Back

I'm sorry for all the horrible things I have said,
I'm sorry for all the bad things I have done,
I'm glad to havve you as my best friend again,
I was sad, depressed, and desperate to hear you voice, and,
Talk to you again.

Oh Caleb, I cannot tell you,
How happy I was, happy to finally,
Talk to you after months,
You will always be my best friend no matter what,
You know that I will always be here for you,
I miss you a lot, why oh why must you live,
So far away?

Why do you live in Illinois,
Why did you leave me,
Why did you go away and not come back?
Caleb, please come back real soon, we all miss you,
But I miss you the most.
You are my best friend,
And I am here to stay.

I will never let you down,
Never put you down,
Never will I forget about you,
I will never hate you,
It is impossible,
It is impossible, because you picked,
Me up when I was down, you
Were always there for me, and you still are,
You never let me down, and you never called me names,
You Never let me be sad, and it was amazing,
To have such a good friend around,
So why, why did you move away?

I know it was for your protection,
I know you had to get out of that horrible place,
That horrible dark place,
Oh how bad I wanted to beat them for beating you,
You did not deserve that, and I hate that image,
Noone deserves to be treated that way; I don't care,
Who they are.

Caleb thank you for being my friend again,
And forgiving me, and for always being here for me,
May I ask one little favor of you?
PLEASE COME BACK??????????
Always~N~Forever,
Briana Lynn Palmer
06-17-12
Dedicated To: CAZ


Details | Rhyme | |

Be Her

You see her?
Why don't go be like her?
No one likes you,
so this is what you must do.

You must stop being yourself,
get off of you shelf.
You must please everyone,
to do that, you must be number one.

She's the perfect girl,
you're the no one in the world.
So go ahead, and give yourself away,
since you're going the wrong way.

You are no longer you,
see what you can do.
You are now her,
that's better than what you ever were.


Details | Lyric | |

Darkness Evaporated

Up
  Up
    Up

Blue forever
Precipitation flying
  Soaking up the Earth’s hate -
Till bursting

Her tears drench the earth
And feed her helpless

      Down
    Down
Down

Into His tormented soil
Filled with vermin
  Destroying every breath -
Till Bursting. 

 His Hate rises…


Details | Light Poetry | |

Kindness is a Virtue

Who are and who is my friends or acquaintances, confusing everyday
but today I have found my self to walk a path that is not so rough
I became so blinded to have friends that it pains me anyway
They take a simple kindness and think that I am not tough
so by deliberately challenging me to act like nothing happens I grow bold
Wake up you! and all the rest, I have something to say
I don't like this feeling of regret or sorrow so please do not take me cold
as a friend you should know to not take advantage of my kindness in away
A storm is blowing inside my soul burning a hole in it so
lightning is striking in methods unknown for in the distance thunder you hear
Some of the greatest warriors fall with great weapons of bow
antics that slaughters such feebleness as cowardices use an unseen spear
To let one know that your feelings are clear do not hesitate
to do so shows fear and that is one thing that can determine your choice
With kindness in your corner you should easily win and that will be great!
In the end you can hold up a drink with friends and smile and rejoice


Details | Free verse | |

leave

life.... 
it seems to be some where
between heaven and hell...
love and hate....
living and dying...
who knows what to expect out of life
to some people everyday is a smile....
to others its a cry
me?
s@#t..
i don't give a f@#k anymore...
i really don't..
go ahead and yell and scream!
get in my face and curse!
tell me s@#t that may or may not be true!
send me away!
because i don't give a f@#k anymore!
i really don't
wether you love me..
or simply hate me...
doesn't matter to me anymore
i used to cry a bucketfull of tears at night
when daddy left...
i cried when i told you i hated you...
when we fuss and fight....
argue 
but now?
now im empty...
i just don't give a f@#k anymore
i have no more tears to shed....
no more smiles to give
....
....
if i ever did something wrong to make you hate me like this...
im sorry...
wether you believe me
or not....
im sorry...
im sorry
for everything i've done
today 
yesterday
a month ago...
maybe years ago...
im sorry...
.....
....
...i count the days till i leave...
leave here...
leave life...
just leave...


Details | ABC | |

Coward

People want to commit suicide,
people choose to die over livin life.
Why has it come to be this way?
Why has this life become so meaningless,
that we just want to throw it away?
We become selfish and think our life is so bad,
dont think of others who's lives are worse, But still greatful for what they have.
People take for granted the things they've got,
clothes, food, smokes and shoes, even a roof or a bed,
They dont think of the homeless,
the hungry, not even the cold or the hot.
They just think they want to be dead,
Things happen in our lives that, to us, seem bad.
We dont look for help or trust any "friends"
All because of the past we've had.
Dont be a coward and run away,
Stick it out, Live life,
I know that there's alot of strife,
But stick it through day to day.
People want to commit suicide,
people choose to die over livin life.
Why has it come to be this way?....


Details | Free verse | |

The Black Abyss

Sinking in deeper,
No way to escape,
The dark and scary Reaper,
Fore told in the Book of Life.

Is this my end?
Will I ever see the light of day again?
No. My wounds, I must mend.
I must find my strength.

Stand my ground,
Face my fears.
Only then will my voice be found
I must survive.

Break the suffocating chains,
Run from the darkness.
Power will fill my veins.
I will Fight!

Fight the painful names,
The horrid memories,
The demented games 
And escape My Black Abyss.


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Grip

Future held such initial promise
But shallow dreams disintegrated
Coalescing into shallower reality

Despite my youth, pain cripples me to geriatric apathy
General interest long gone, death has become the single concern
A welcome embrace, a welcome friend
Tardiness is expected, as well as encouraged

Release me from these eternally shrinking walls
Allow the peons to continue their superficial pursuits
Never meshing well into the fold, I yearn simply for permanent isolation
There is not enough joy to justify the agony that life forever guarantees me

Nihilism and anger, desires for maniacal retribution, the only feelings I've ever known
Clouded over now by perpetual physical torment, my formerly hollow shell continues to exist without capacity for optimism
Yet without hate, there seems nothing left
Shall I forever be adrift?


Details | I do not know? | |

Chained Hands

La Di Dum... La Di Dum
Tugged back and forth
Between places of Love and Hate 
My chained hands cover my crying face 
Longing to be in your arms
This debacled girl is in Love
I have scrupples of wether or not I should confess
Or if instead I should recede
I have condoned this sad little fact
Even as you beguile my heart
I don't know if you feel the same
With your distantly tired eyes
My worries settle at the sound of your opiate voice
Peaceful slumber in translucent wings
Masked behind a colored shadow
Spreading out like a disease 
Smile for me for a smile back
This cheery complection 
Hides the saddness in my eyes
That or it amplifies it
Emotionless tears spill out
And then they become pain
The aching of my chest and mind
Recollect hidden memories of you
Begging, pleading for something absolute
Dismissed as childish play
Even though it's the game of Death in diguise
So long ago I began giving up on this pathetic feeling
Cursed for its impending return
Looking to you to save me
Waiting for you to hate me
Never had I wanted some one's hatred
Until now
To say "I love you" is to die
How amusing, considering I'm already undead
So I still say it 
Because I have eons left
Dear one do you love me?
If not oh well
If so how astonishing
Either way... I'm still in love with you


Details | Light Poetry | |

A Crying Shame

It's a crying shame,
When love cuts you deeply,
When you don't want to hear my name,
And when you pretend to have been over me.

It's a crying shame,
That I still love you,
Especially after all the pain I've been through,
That you've given me through and through.

It's a crying shame,
How we both know that we love each other,
But don't want our appearance to falter,
So we hate each other out of our love.

It's a crying shame,
That you lie about me,
That you blame me,
That you hate me.

It's a crying shame,
That hatred devours you from the love you once felt,
Torturing you so,
Just let it go.

It's a crying shame,
That I try to hurt you because you hurt me,
That I am filled with anxiety,
I have to try to just let it be.

It's a crying shame,
That you have me to blame.
And I think about it everytime I hear your name.
It's all a crying shame.


Details | Free verse | |

Stranger

I hate pretending I’m okay
when its clear I’m really not
I hate putting on a smile
to mask my bleeding heart
I hate looking in a mirror
at the stranger staring back
I hate feeling so damn useless
so empty, sad and scared
I hate thinking that tomorrow
might be better than today
I hate everyday I wake up
Because I can’t help but wonder why?


Details | Rhyme | |

The Things I want, The Things I Get

Once upon a time I loved a girl but she didn’t love me back.
Once upon a night I wished on a star but my dreams never came to pass. 
Twice I think I hoped for the sun and not the rain pouring in.
But my cover flew away and the drops soaked through my skin. 

I think I could wish for hard times and the dark,
And just to spite my soul the world would set ablaze from a single spark.
My money would pile high, 
girls would wave as they walked by.
And the one thing can I say for this life,
Is no one ever got a damn thing from goodbye. 


Details | Free verse | |

Pawn

And so do I fall, and so do I fail,
Falling so deeply into this destructive void,
Nothing but ash and specs of dust that were once my brittle bones and scarred flesh.

To not know what is ahead,
How maddening! How so distraught have I seemingly become,
Forgotten myself as time has smoothed over me.

Tricky, sly fiend indeed; master and slave a like to us all.

Do I dare move forward into the uncertainty that is humanity and of such society?
So gut wrenching, thoughts filled of bile at what is.

As we all are from and are the same, yet tear limb by limb the essence of ourselves by one another in an endless state of bigotry and violence; so brightly are we bathed in evil.

So easy is it to see.

Miracles; perhaps shall they see fit to carry me away from the void that is, and from such temptation, as to live the rest of days in blissful, stagnant dreams.


Details | Free verse | |

Palindrome madness

Flying above streams of love.

Poison flowing streams of hate. 

Streams dried and dead love found. 

Love lost love. 

Love found death.



Loving sounds drowned by hate.
The same hate that tore apart soul mates. Love was much,but hate over weight. Love on a silver plate, while hate on a golden plate. Is this the way of faith?If so it dose not seem to be accurate. Removing love from the throne, making hate chief of the state. Wells of love dried. It only became wet when it cried. Worldwide we cast this love aside. Still I stand by love,side by side. Along side the bonafide.

By: Elliott Bowe
Palindrome mad poetry contest.
The following lines are considered
Palindrome:Flying above streams of love.

Poison flowing streams of hate. 

Streams dried and dead love found. 

Love lost love. 

Love found death.


Details | Rhyme | |

bloody red roses part 2

     She lies in a pile of bloody red roses

She left a note to her folks  saying

" I cant go on im sorry"

      It didnt say why

But still we cry

      We are all very sad

some of us are mad

       none of us are glad

She'll b greatly missed

        To me she was like a sis

But when will the rumors stop

        Noone knows the truth not even the cops

My pain is great 

       I wish we hadnt been late

But when we got there 

        there she lay 

on her already made bed of

Bloody red roses


Details | I do not know? | |

boungiorno

hello! hey! boungiorno! what is the date?/
this world of dimensions created duality/
no letters/ no words/ are enough to express/
someone like you/ in reality/

i filled all your emptines/ MY still quiet bay/
as Jhon opened world in his Yoko/
you searched perfect princes/ looked for "right him"/
now at only one overman looking/

i swear/ i will hold you/ as much as i can/
would become all the axes/ and outer space/
voice is speared by the screaming wind/
falling down/ flakes to your place/

going crazy just seeing your knees/
don't regret anything/ my Benito/
unbelievable/ perfect/ unbearable/
you whisper/ "la comedia e finita"//


Details | Rhyme | |

I wish I never loved you

I miss being loved,
I miss talking all night,
i miss holding your hand,
I miss things being right.

I want to be happy,
I want to move on,
I want to let go,
I want your memories gone!

I hate that I miss you, 
I hate that I care, 
I hate that i'm here, 
and i hate that your there!

I wish we could have worked, 
I wish your words were true, 
I wish you still loved me,
but I wish I never loved you.


Details | Free verse | |

Leading it on your own

I know it’s hard but you have to try
How can you live your life lie?
You say you hate who you’re closest to, to another 
But around him, he’s not like a cousin but a brother
How can you just let them take over you?
Next you’ll be a singer to 
Just like him 
The changes of you not being are very slim 
You let him dress you, and tell you what to do, How to act 
Becoming of what you used to hate as a matter of fact
He tells you who’s in and who’s out
You can’t lead so he does is that what its about?
You have always followed the crowd
Does that make you proud?
To not follow your heart 
 Minding them and playing your own part 
But when you come around me I see what you want to be true
Or at least that’s what I used to think 
But when I’m gone or your with them it all changes
Filled with nothing but perfect Barbie doll images 
That’s like tonight I’m gone and all you do is talk 
If you can talk then walk 
Show me you can do something to do 
Leading it on your own 


Details | I do not know? | |

Anger Pain and Dramatic Stress

Anger, pain and dramatic stress 
The 3 things that I possess
Me, Reggie is okay at times
I sometimes choose to confide in my rhymes
I express my feelings through a pen
Just like some women get satisfaction through men.
This isn’t a poem because this is a thought
I have thoughts moving so fast, just too fast to be caught.
I hate being stressed
Just like I hate being possessed
I don’t mean to sound evil and mean
But I am different from the other people you have seen.
This is not a poem…this is a thought
I have thoughts moving so fast that they can’t be caught.
I have it good to some…others have it good to me
Some don’t realize how hard it is to be
A poet…it’s hard writin’ poetry with a lot of feeling
You feel forced to write something appealing
You break down cause cus’ you feel an obligation
To write good poetry that there breaks your concentration
I found a solution that my mind’s fighting
Maybe I should stop all the poetry and all the writing
These are fast ideas too fast to be caught
This isn’t a poem this is just a thought


Details | Light Poetry | |

Down and Out

How I hate the way I feel today,
   I just want everything to go away.
Don't know if I am angry or sad ,
  All I know is that it feels real bad.
Everything is so mixed up inside ,
  Confused by it all I just want to cry.
Closing my eyes trying to get some rest,
   Doesn' help much getting only moments at best.
Hoping for nightfall is what I want now,
   Praying tomorrow will be better some how.
How I hate these days when I am down ,
   Wishing nobody would ever come around.
Asking myself why I am in this mood,
   What will it take to change my attitude.
Surely there is something to make me smile,
   I wonder if there is because it's been awhile.
Reading the book to maybe see my way through,
   It doesn't help either I am still feeling blue.
Listening to others and what they have to say,
   Changes nothing at all I still feel this way.
Why are there days I feel so down and out ,
   Makes me want to just scream and shout.
Wait for the morning sunrise is what I'll do,
   Possibly then I will be able to talk to you.
Oh how I do not like the way I feel today,
   It's just the worst ever feeling this way.
TAC


Details | Free verse | |

Hate

A stinging pain falls upon my face making my vision turn red. 
I look up into your eyes and see nothing but the rage and hate in your souls windows,
How could someone be so angry?
How can you go day to day knowing what you do?
I was kind, I was good.
But you made me like this.

Hit,
	After Hit,
			After Hit,

Put me deeper,
		And deeper, 
				And deeper,

Into the dark where there was only a spark of hope left 
But that even started fading as you continued to throw you anger at me.
Was I the one who made you like this?
Me your ’one and only’
How could someone be so angry?
How can you go day to day knowing what you do?
I was brave, I was slipping.

Fading,
		And fading,
				And fading,

Into a deep,
		   Deep,
				Deep,

Darkness that made me lose my mind
You made me like this.
I can finally throw my anger at you.
How does it feel now mother?
You cry and ask me to stop, but did you ever listen?
Me your ‘one and only’
How could I be so angry?
How can I go day to day knowing what I do?

Very,
		Very,
				Very,

Simple.

I can go day to day knowing that I made myself free,
Of all the hate you would throw at me.
Can you handle mine?


Details | Blank verse | |

Alone With No Sense Of Direction

I am a lost person, but I am not alone.
I make choices in my life and I choose to let go.
I need a change of space, and my lyrical notes,
The beauty and the face should fade, but more I want to grow.
The nobility in life is sad, when madness is a nuisance and insanity a fad.
I have some regrets, some I can't forget,
but If I can't forgive myself, then who will forgive my sins?
I'll give it my all, and pray I win.
I'll keep my heart locked and throw away the key,
never let anyone inside, so I can remain free.
Can I question a higher power, or would I be dead,
The scum of the earth, creating poetry that is read,
by the mindless masses, blaming the heart to death,
I hope this will heal me, burning the past, 
The beauty in the innocence, never really lasts.
I have a feeling tonight will open my eyes, 
and guide me too the light instead of lies.
I'm praying to god that you are how I think you are,
because I need compassion, not just a broken heart.
I don't know why I like you, but you seem to close to part.
Please don't leave me here, surrounded in the dark.


Details | Lyric | |

I Gave You Right Back

I remember when you gave yourself to me,
But I gave you right back.
Because I couldn’t stop hurting you,
And I hated doing that.
I can’t be selfish as I wanna be,
and much as I need your touch.
I can’t have that follow me.
Enough just might be enough.

But love comes all the way back around,
I didn’t know you then and I don’t know you now.

Hearts beat,
Trust me,
I asked mine to stop beating aloud.
Tears are dreams,
That have to flee,
Cause they’d been cast out. 
And smiles speak,
Yours talks to me,
But I replied with a frown.
Cause I can’t keep this up,
Enough is now enough.
Don’t look for me I’m gone now.


Details | Bio | |

Anger

Dark Roiling Rage,
like the waters of the Indian ocean in a 
silver flecked storm.
Uncontrollable tears take hold 
and not meant for others to see.
Hate, Love, Betrayal.
Emotions that one can't feel 
if they never existed in the first place.
Being emotionless in a fight is the way I'll survive.
Love fading,
skin turning grey,
is it to late?
my time has been long up.
I know no other way to live.
while I am emotionless,
 I'll never have to endure the cruel tormenting taunts, or
the abuse, or the betrayal.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Hate

I hate the birth mark under my right eye
I hate my extremely static hair
I hate my big bottom lip
I hate my spotty nose

I hate that I have really *****y times
I hate that people only remember me for my really *****y times
I hate that the real *****es hate me
I hate being cautious so they don’t ***** about me

I hate that I cry over everything
I hate that people know I cry over everything
I hate that I hide from them anyway
I hate that they actually don’t care 

I hate the fact that my brother is leaving home next year
I hate the fact that I cried when he told me that
I hate the fact that I hid my tears from him
I hate the fact that he’s all I really have left

I hate my father for making me feel like he doesn’t care about me
I hate my mother for making me feel like she picked him over me
I hate that my brother had to look after me when they couldn’t be bothered
I hate that, in my eyes, they don’t deserve to be called mum and dad

I hate that when I was younger I had to run away from my father
I hate that my mother and brother left me by myself that day
I hate that they left me closer to my father
I hate that they went somewhere I would have felt safer

I hate that I feel like my friends are slowly fading away from me
I hate that I feel like I’m a third wheel
I hate that I feel like my friend’s don’t trust me
I hate that I feel like I can’t trust my friends

I hate the feeling of loneliness
I hate that I read books to escape to a world better than mine
I hate that I write to create a better life than my own
I hate that people want to invade that one heaven I invented

I hate that people ask me why I made Katy Clover Taylor
I hate that I had to make a role model for myself
I hate that she is the person I desperately want to be
I hate that she is the one thing I will never live up to

I hate that I feel like my grades would grasp my families attention
I hate that feeling of disappointment when I get a bad grade
I hate feeling like I have to live up to an expectation to hold their attention
I hate that I am relied on because of my grades

I hate that I am an older mind trapped in a younger body
I hate that I am limited in what I can do because of my age
I hate not being trusted upon
I hate people treating me as a kid

I hate not telling people how I feel
I hate hiding behind an invisible barrier
I hate not being able to share how I feel with people
I hate being scared that they won’t care.

I hate people judging me
I hate judging people
I hate that feeling of giving up
I hate the feeling of losing when I didn’t give up

I hate the choices I have made
I hate that nobody thinks I can live up to my dream
I hate people thinking they are so much better than me
I hate the fact that they are right

I hate that I will never make a good girlfriend
I hate the fact I know nobody would fall for me
I hate knowing that no one would help me pick up my life
I hate that it has fallen apart

I hate hurting the people I love
I hate them not loving me anymore
I hate knowing that what I would do would hurt people
I hate the fact I do it anyway

I hate knowing that I do all of this
I hate knowing I hate all of this
I hate trying to change it
I hate that I am not able to change it

I hate that I try not to give up hope
I hate knowing all hope is lost
I hate that I still try and cling to it anyway
I hate knowing I failed at that too

But most of all

I hate not being able to express this until now
I hate that this still won’t change a thing
I hate thinking that it still might
I hate knowing that no one cares


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Nobody Can

There is nobody in this world knows how I am feeling right now,
Trying to  get it to all  make some kind of sense from it  some how.
   Filled with deceptions and lies leaving me nothing for me to find,
One memory there is that is truly real cause there's none in my mine.
   This sickening feeling overwhelms me making me cold to my soul,
I am surrounded by gloom and sadness the worst I've ever known.
   How is it I am to suffer like this for loving with all my heart ,
Always protecting you and always been the light in your dark.
   Why me with the love so true and a honest soul  feel such pain,
I should feel the Sunshine in my life not tears that fall like rain.
   Was it the  blindness caused by her natural beautey and tender words,
Or is it that I have lied to myself for so long it was almost absured.
   Difficult for me to face this grief that I had always anticipated,
The moment you came back into my life these days been pre dated.
    It was Love itself I have wanted to bask in to know the Joy,
This despair , lonliness ,and all the nightmares  I needed to avoid.
    A wreck just waitng to happen and the wounds opened up again,
Never  thinking of when all began only wanting it all to just end.
   Days that will be lost and the memories you will never have,
It's the worst kind of emptiness and confusion I've ever had.
   These times we share when we are alone and nobody around,
The thoughts we have of fantasies are somewhat profound.
   Is there a lesson here to be learned and remembered ,
Or is it I am that lost soul  that lonely Pretender.
   This can't possibly be the very last and the end for me,
If so then it has always  been what was meant to be.
   When and how it all went wrong and strayed off course,
Something I will never know  or do I want to anymore.
   There is nobody  that knows what I am feeling today,
I tried making sense of it and found that there is no way.
   A fence that will never be mended or memories replaced,
Just a lonely life  and a broken heart is what I must face .
   Get on with my life  pray  for better days  I must do,
How  can I do that if it has to be without having you.
Tac


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Name Is Misery

Your name is misery
here to haunt me in my dreams
In my waking hours and in my sleep
Nightmares and worst fears 
of course you can make them come true
For

Your Name Is Misery

You are the demon 
That called himself a dad
You are my illness, my shame, guilt and pain
I cannot shake you 
I try to run but you always catch me
I try to hide and you find me

Your Name Is Misery

You are the cause of my pain
I used to blame myself 
But lately I have found I am not the one to blame
I was a child
Innocent and helpless
when you took my dignity, my life my sanity

Your Name Is Misery

You have presented yourself in many forms
The school counselor who tried to violate me
The Father figure who molested me
The strangers who forced themselves on me
A gang paid to rape me
A Fiance who beat me 
And killed the child inside me
The voices that torment me

Your Name Is Misery

You have so many faces 
It would take my whole life to paint a picture of you
And quite frankly 
I don't want to waste my time on you
I just want to forget you

Your Name Is Misery

I wish I could get away from you
Break away from your grasp
Take away the control you have over me
I hate being under your spell
I hate the pain you constantly cause me 
I hate crying because of you
I hate the darkness you bring with you
Most of all 
I hate you

Your Name is Misery

That is no lie
There is no mistake 
You bring havoc, drama, and chaos 
All the things I despise 
I don't want you near me
I don't even want to look you in the eye

Your Name is Misery 

I am afraid of you 
I can't stand you 
most of all 
I am mad at you 
for you have made my life a living hell
But no more 
I am cutting you out 
I have never wanted you around
It is high time 
I got rid of you 
It's time to stand my ground
I am going to take you down
I don't need you
I never want to see you 
Get out of my life 
For I am not going to let you bring me down
You are not welcome here 

Your Name Is Misery

By: Jean Shular


Details | Rhyme | |

The Pain of Young People

I hate to see the pain
the young so often feel.
I wish that I could help.
My love for them is real.

They need some understanding.
They just want to be heard.
Where are their parents when they cry? 
Don't they read their words? 

They say they hate their lives.
They want to end it all.
I wish that I could help them
and save them from the fall.

It hurts to hear their suffering.
To know I can't be there.
At least I want them all to know
how very much I care.

When you need understanding
or even just a friend, 
Send a note and say hello.
I'll be here till the end. 


Details | Rhyme | |

THE UNWANTED RISE OF TEARS

My own downfall,
being with no malice of intent.
the gravity of being born with no force,
my soul even wanders beyond my spirit.
shame of uncleanliness;
guilt of unworthiness,
troubles of accepting,
missing pieces that can't be held together.
troubles with sanity,
sometimes roughing it out to tip of the edge of reasoning.
no rest for the weary,
thanks!, things couldn't get any tougher than this.
mentality co-existing with no hope of success,
unwanted failures and regrets slowing me down until it all ends.


Details | I do not know? | |

hate

i hate him 
hes the worst 
i love is just a mask 
you hid behind.

don't count me as a fool
i can see your snarl 
right threw.

i hate your nasty, sneaky ways.
you did have me at hello.
but now i caught your bluff

be gone you betrayer 
you lustful jerk

iv caught you right handed 
that's it your busted..

say bye now you'll never see me again
you'll never be able to hurt me
to tare me inside out

be gone you betrayer
be gone you lustful jerk.


Details | Free verse | |

My Shadow



Blackness, a dark version of me, badness, negativity.

No matter how fast i run or were i run too your right behind me.

Even the brightest sun doesn’t destroy you, you only exist because of me.

All i know is when i face the darkness you disappear, but to only return when the sun rises.



Details | Rhyme | |

My prison jump suit

Used to be an individual
now I'm just a complex number
stripped away from my own individuality
made me uncomfortably wake from my
slumber.

Used to be a boy wonder.
I was living the life.
Didn't think I'd get sucked under,
didn't think I'd end up wanting to kill myself
with a hunting knife.

My wrongful deeds have made me feel as if I'm living in a 
dreadful still life picture,
wishing someone would look at me
and reconsider and view me as a normal fixture. 


Details | Free verse | |

Damages and Diseases of the swinging Pendulum mind: Part Four

The pendulum starts gaining speed again I can’t sleep I feel so guilty keeping you around I shouldn’t I should not do this to you If I were truly your friend I would set you free I should I should So why can’t I Why can’t I function without you woosh, woosh The pendulum speeds And speeds I can’t sleep I can’t sleep I am sorry I am sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So Sorry So sorry So sorry So Sorry So Sorry So sorry The Pendulum swings faster Faster and faster I wish it would stop I wish my mind would stop shifting Stop Stop I’m so scared I’m so angry I’m sad I hate it All of it And there goes the pendulum ever faster Ever changing the splintered fragments of my mind Why Why must my mind be so sporadic Always shifting Always changing Like the sands of the ocean floor Always different Always I hate this I do not like this And all that happens Is you get hurt And I’m sorry for that So very, very sorry It’s not fair to you It’s not fair And I don’t know what to do To make it all better To make everything better To make all my tortures go away So that you can be happy I just want you happy I should let you go Set you free … You should keep away from me It would be better For you So much better Less painful Less heartbreaking Less damaging I am damaged beyond repair But that does not mean you need to be You could go Run Be free You should It would be better Much better for you Just let the flames consume me Let the waters choke my cries…my pleads And let the deadly pendulum slice me in pieces Grind me down to nothing Burn me So that my virus cannot be spread So no one else will be hurt So you can live free and happy Because I can’t keep living with myself Knowing what I do to you And again the pendulum swings Again and again And again And again It will never end Never end Until I do Until I finally rest In my watery…bloodied grave


Details | Rhyme | |

Someone, Someday

It’s so hard to start
It’s so hard to finish
It feels as if all that you've accomplished will someday be diminished 
And it won’t matter if you become somebody some day
Because someone will easily take your place 
Steal your ideas 
And make a living off you, THEIR way

It’s sad but true
Every mutha f**ka 
Will take a piece of your mind
and will somehow ultimately f**k you

not physically but mentally
making you think 
you’re not one of a kind
their getting all the fame 
while everyone leaves you behind

leaving you to feel like a failure 
people telling you to talk to God, 
he’ll have the answer

I pray, looking up at the ceiling
Hoping he’ll will give me a reason….
To keep going on with my life and my ideas
But all I’m left with are clones of my feelings
Washed up on canvases with some else’s fake veneers 


Details | Narrative | |

Red Eyes and Sinister Looks

Chains, hay forks, knives, and a hollow whisper,
become more true and sinister.
Halt in the middle of the moon light, 
and a waver image soon is no delight.
Voices run a muck in the head, 
so not calming you wish you were dead.
Gushing blood through the eye
not an image that you would rely.
Nails stuck on your neck with such pain
so your paralyze just little life sustain.
Hoodlums terrorizing people running a muck
did not really know they are in luck.
More dangerous beings are out their
to commit such act and with sinister stare.
Laughing with haunting echo's through
is an aspect of fear can imbue.
The wind changes direction to smother
the echoing sound of laughter.
The panicking state that you are in
soon drives a knife within.
Blood rushing out of your vain
a crucial part of your life dropping like rain.
Running without a destination
you will never reach anyone of your relation.
Sliding your body on a wall
keeping your fall in a stall.
Red eyes you can see it at night
is soon devouring you with little bite.
Changing your belief with tonics of relief
and it is to late to turn a new leaf.
Ears start to deceive the animals sound
eating limbs are chewing around.
Slowly your red eyes steadily getting heavy
is starting to take your life with a levy.
Dropping down with no attitude
and your life force slowly loses altitude.
Breathing comes not so easy
smelling flesh seems so beastly.
The change comes a desire
with frightening red eyes of fire.
Comes more lethal than the hoodlums 
your heart beating like drums.
Your hand becomes all fury
claws come out and your howl with furry.
Trance your in with no one to blame
a rage thats hundreds of centuries of flame.
Rising from a slumber of long lust
a animal instinct that you can trust.
Tearing things apart with no meaning
is a trait that is so deceiving.
Red eyes at night you see in a window
like a poisonous black widow.
Keeps you in attack mode of insanity
that takes all your vanity.
Ferocious emotions eating away
the soul that you had once betray.
The echoing sounds of loud thunder
breaks away the armor with sunder.
You fall once again to torturous agony
the feeling of one self is so lonely.
Shaking in the corner you are found
with blood soaked skin you drowned.
The night becomes day cruel in some way
your memories go in disarray.
The hunters with torches and sinister look
had parted way their hands shook.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

I'm Not Gonna Let You Say

Whispers in the dark Thoughts of you. a meeting at the park, A memory, a flash Surrounded by pin-drop silence. The saddest thing in the world, I have lost all meanings of life. My mind overflows with memories Of those few green and fair days. How do I mend my broken heart ? I hate this idea of my heart That you are the one thing, Whom I want the most but can't have. You tore my heart into two, One part has lost all and The other still thinking for you. I hate this feeling of pain, I'm not gonna let you say.....


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

unspoken words of life

phases pass the day when i was young
i was happy and hate was a feeling unborn
colors where just colors 
fight where with pillows
people had cuddies
drugs were things to stay health 
cigs were candy sticcs 
problems were with parent
death was playin dead
life was full of joy
as i grow older the hate ignites
colors are your gang claim
fight are with guns and knifes
people have stds
drugs are things that get you wealth
cigs are cancer sticcs
problems are with the police
death is ur homie getting killed
life is full of pain


Details | I do not know? | |

I do not like

I do not like my state of mind 
I'm bitter, querulous, unkind.
I hate my legs, I hate my hands,
I do not yearn for lovelier lands.
I dread the dawn's recurrent light;
I hate to go to bed at night.
I snoot at simple, earnest folk.
I cannot take the gentlest joke.
I find no peace in paint or type.
My world is but a lot of tripe.
I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted.
For what I think, I'd be arrested.
I am not sick, I am not well.
My quondam dreams are shot to hell.
My soul is crushed, my spirit sore;
I do not like me any more.
I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse.
I ponder on the narrow house.
I shudder at the thought of men...
I'm due to fall in love again."


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

Holy books says it all
You taught me how to crawl
This will never change
Never ends never fades
Dear God where you are?
Shattered piece of childish dreams
This will never change
Never ends never fades.

I can fight for all my life,
Not broken, not broken inside
Never be so frustrated,
Not going to commit suicide.

Fuc*ing faith will fall,
Mortals will stand tall
Hell and heaven are all the same
Live your life, don't die in vain

Only you and I can make 
A better world for tomorrow
Have faith in yourself
And wipe off the tears of sorrow

Make me scream, Make me cry
I'll never fail to try.
This night's has an end
No pain will remain


Details | Free verse | |

Rejection

Do you know how it Feels?
When Rejection Reveals.
It always Hurt to Know,
but you have to Accept.

My Heart Aches whenever you Reject me,
Whenever they look at me Straight in the Eye,
I always think they Despise me.

I tried,I tried my Best,
I provoked myself to do things I can`t,
I Tried to prove,
That I am better than YOU!

But no,No I can`t,
If this Rejection would be a Disease,
I would be Dead right now.

My Heart have been always Fragile,
I have been always Sensitive.
That`s why I always Wished,
that Rejection was Siezed


Details | Verse | |

Lost in a Memory


" Lost in a Memory"
Written by: Rodney Riggins

Can't forget I hate to concentrate
got to remember before it's to late.
Mind in a brainstorm hear sirens and 
loud alarms to paranoid to stay calm
my memory is lost and gone.

Lost in a brainstorm lost in a memory
brains all gone lost in a cemetery. The 
world has raped me making me hate me
my mind has escaped me still it's a memory.
Violence I crave for death makes me crave
more love sex I'm a man whore a dog on
all fours

My mind is shot to hell my memory fails
as well my energy go to hell my thinking
now is dead. Trapped in a lost brain which
drives me insane the pain i with stain from
thinking now it's drained

Kill me quick kill me fast mind is dead not
gonna last pull the plug I'm leaving fast if
not I'll kill you then I'll laugh.

My memory has failed me I'm my own
enemy death is my only friend life 
wasn't meant for me. Memory is gone
forever pain will be eternity for those
who read this poem hope they can learn
from me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mayella To Kill a Mockingbird

Here I am
Sitting, lying
Everyone is buying it
Yet I know who you really are
Heads up to bars
Gets drunk, come home
Then abuse me
I am the key to your heart
Or am I really?
Don’t be silly, you better watch your back
I hate you, 
I hate what you make me do
That is your cue
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!


Details | I do not know? | |

15 Months

I’m sorry I ignored your calls and the attention I was given
I’m sorry I made you feel like your emotions were not worth living.
I’m sorry after 4 months I still wanted some other guy,
I’m sorry at month 6 I discovered yet another lie.
I hate that it was too late, my heart had already picked a side.
I remember in month 7, I left him for you.
I’m sorry that I begged and you didn’t know what to do.
I’m sorry I hooked up with him, and you didn’t approve.
In months 8 & 9 you stood by me while he was forcing me to move.
10 – You just wouldn’t understand. I said “NO” and pushed away your hands
11 – Came and left without a single word. After all that we went through I still wanted to be 
your girl.
12 – Was emotional, you were on your way, but there were those three little words you 
wanted but I still couldn’t say.
I’m sorry that after 13 months I still wasn’t perfect.
I’m mad that we were nearly at 14 months before I decided you were worth it.
I hate that when the 12th of the next month came around you said “wow, that’s 15”. You 
were still far away, and still just as mean.
I hate that 15 was when I was going to say those three little words and send them your way, 
but instead you kissed me and acted like it was all fine. You took me home and then it was 
time
“I have bigger dreams, and things I need to do. I’m sorry but my life isn’t you.”
I’m sorry that after 15 months you were nothing but a jerk
I hate that 15 months still couldn’t make it work.
I’m angry that I gave you my Sweet Sixteenth year, something I looked so forward  to, I 
couldn’t enjoy while it was here.
I hate you for not keeping your words and just staying away. You had to come back and 
forth and make me want to stay.
Those 15 months where all I had was you, are gone, erased, thrown away and blank. There 
is no sensitivity because of you it lacks.
You’re gone, it’s over and I’m not looking back.


Details | Free verse | |

Your Words

Get a life, she said
Dark thoughts ring through my head
I am nothing—for that is what you have made me
Tears streaming from my eyes
All the past happiness—the lies
Words do matter . . . they really do
They stick to you like glue
I cannot stop sobbing
For the words ring true
I am truly nothing—thicker than lead
The next rhyme will probably be the word “dead”
Damn this mind . . . damn this head
I cannot escape the sorrow
She held it all in
And it bursts now from her quivering vocals
Crybaby, she said
Oh, but you do not know all that I hold in
But you cannot blame them for not understanding
The fault is all my own
I guess the next word to rhyme is “alone”
Wish they could be something more meaningful
Something giving, inspiring
But I cannot help this—I am rotting!
I hate to be wrong but you are right
What’s the use of this sick denial and spite?
What’s the use of trying to live this life,
When I am looking for a completely wrong purpose?
Finding myself downright worthless. . .
I hate being right. . .
But sometimes . . . I really am
And it your words you have spoken
That make it the truth

Your words leave a shameful legacy
Like a sick memory,
Like a regret. . .

March 15, 2013


Details | I do not know? | |

Love Gave Me a Reason Part II.

To you I was committed 
            And I admit it
You used to be the keeper 
There's probably no love that's deeper

Tears often kissed my cheek and pain hugged my wounds
I would wake up to scorched suns and sleep under chilled moons

Plagued with such HAPPY SORROW
It seems like I'm living without you today, but I'll be dying without you tomorrow...

LOVE is my stalker:
Creeping through my heart
Sleeping in my DARK
Hiding in the SCARS that leave these marks

Love gave me a reason to
Keep secrets that you would never know
Nights I wept that you can never owe

So...
A slow death was all you seemed to give

And the more you gave the less I lived 

Released from bondage, 
let go of a man that played the role of a kid

At first I didn't want to
But Now I feel blessed that I did

All I needed in a life of sin…
Was me and my boyfriend
            Me and my Toyfriend….

                        Me and my…
Me and MY….

Boy…you're nothing but my DEAD END…

I breathed you like air…

But like hair…
I had to clip you like dead ends
                           
              An empty bank account….
Kept on writing me checks
And when I tried to cash your love it Bounced

So I bounced…

Although I died, I cried not an ounce of tears
But the pain just rips, just drips, and wont stop 
until it tears whatever pieces of my soul you left behind
Because you didn't leave me with a peace of mind

And all I seem to do is keep sad love songs on rewind
Letting it pummel my mind                
STRUGGLING to let out EMOTION
FIGHTING against intoxicating Love Potions
As your venom continues to linger in my veins
And your face continues to lie in the nucleus of my brain

I go emotionally insane

Wanting to hate you
Wanting to escape you…..

But instead I clasp my hands and I pray for you
And instead I ask for God to save you
For God to somehow reshape you…
Remake You…..
Break you…

And

     Still…
       
             After all I been through,


                          It's sad that LOVE 

gave me a reason
 to hate you…

             But God gave me the reason to FORGIVE 
                                                                               you...


Details | Rhyme | |

I Hate Monroe

I hate this place.
Man, I have to go.
I hate the racism.
I hate the haterism.
I hate not being heard.
I hate Monroe.
Man, I hate the word.

I hate this place.
And that’s a fact.
Once I leave here
I will never look back.


written Summer 2004


Details | Free verse | |

Leaving

I hate it
Knowing you might not stay
It's eating your 
Life away
Sucking you up
Like a black whole
Taking in everyone you know.
I hate it
Living on
Wondering,
If you'll be gone
God has made his choice,
We cannot share,
what this cancer is,
because I do not know
If you can stay


Details | Free verse | |

My Emotions in Chaos

My emotions go with the wind telling me that I'll never be good enough for this or that.
My emotions always saying I'll never find "her" or that I'm too small to do anything.
My emotions always saying that my life is insignificant or that I'll never reach happiness.
Feeling alone, depressed, and never understood, I'll take a stand against my emotions, and loose once more. and be ever consumed by their dark beckoning of sadness and pain. never feeling loved in this world, and not ever feeling like someone can understand me, yet not reaching out to try to save myself. In a slum of right and wrong feeling like there's no escape. Is there hope? I like to think so, but my mind says different. I cannot imagine a world outside of my own, though I never tried. Living in a world of sin, I'll never be good enough to see clearly, or be with someone long enough to say "I love you". I hate this feeling, and can't get rid of it's terrible grasp on my life. I hate to be in public, seeing all the happy faces, unlike mine, witch I hate to see Blank and expressionless. Ever will I stay like this feeling sad and alone.


Details | Couplet | |

Broken Lamb the Absent Shepard

Broken, shattered, torn little pieces,
Of my self; I continue to lose the way,

Dealing, deserving, dishing out,
A suitable punishment there is not,

A bloody trickling of tears,
Covering the body in sickness and in fear,

Stretching the length of my insides,
My shame knows no bounds, besides,

Who could fix this broken thing?
So lost in a cliche of words that is so a maze, bring

Me, this lost lamb, no shepard to be had,
No, deserving hardly, I willingly walk the other way.

Shall I not desert the others?
I shame mothers and I shame fathers,

Stay away from me!
Only pain and misery that will be.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Words Only Destroy

No one is here
No one is there
They all left and deserted me
Their taunts and torments I cannot flee
And I become so full of anger and hate
Now whenever anyone good tries to help
My words only destroy
Consuming all life, burning all joy
My angry heart burns
Pent up emotions yearn
For freedom, for light, for a friend
But all are gone…gone in the end
Tears burn my eyes
No one caring-no goodbyes
They’re just gone
Gone
And any good that may have been around
Is now buried in the ground

Then she comes one by
Slowly, almost unnoticeable like a fly
She slips in, laid back and full of hope
Want to help, give a way to cope
She’s so quiet and coy
But my words only destroy
My anger controlling me
I just want to be free
And I feel terribly sorry for my venomous bite
You only try to help-not fight
I want to believe in you
I really do
But in reality I am too afraid
I fear that I am too far lost in hate for your aid
But still you try
Even after I make you cry
Everything lacking joy
And my words only destroy

How do I know…you will stick around in the end
Be the one who is a true friend
I do know
I know
Because you have told me so
And I will believe in you
And do all I need to do
To change this shattering, decomposing angry heart
Change my view, get a fresh start
And maybe one day I will no longer hurt you
And I’ll be able to show you
Just how much you mean to me
If I can make it, get away from this hate and be free
But doubt clouds my thoughts
Hoping is it worth the pain
Waiting for this healing rain
My words continue to destroy
It will never change…I will never change…only destroy
Only destroy


Details | I do not know? | |

Ugly feelings

I might smile
I might agree that you're cool
I may even act like I enjoy having you around
But I think that I hate you

I don't really hate you, I hate what you've done
You've stolen my joy and you've taken my fun
What used to be mine, now is yours
The place I once held, now you hold
It's all about you now and I'm sick of it

I could almost hate you for that

I want to scream in your face
I want to tell you that I despise what you've done
I almost wish you didn't exist
Or lived some indescribable distance away never to be seen
But you're too nice
Too polite
Too too

So I can't do any of these things

And I hate feeling this way
Feeling so incredibly jealous of you
Not being happy for another's happiness
Wanting to let myself hate you
I know I'm pathetic, disgusting,

So I try to hold it all inside
But it doesn't work very well
I want desperatley to run away
Then at least I could leave behind
Instead of being left behind

But there is no where to go

I could almost hate you

But it's not really you that I hate
If it were anyone else in your place it would be the same
I just hate the change
I hate feeling that I'm losing something that belonged to me
Something I never would have given up willingly

But I know now, it was never mine
What do I own?
Not my best friend
Not the time we spent together
Not the choice of who she spends her time with now
Not her love

The memories
I own only the memories

And in the end, that is all I'm left with.


Details | Free verse | |

im never coming back continued into why did i go back

Im never coming back
smart ,creative,generous you are ,
but theres more to you than that
your insecure ,angry and drink to much
I needed your love ,but you didnt know how to give it
I wanted you more than anything ,but you werent feeling it
I loved you ,and it showed... but your eyes were closed
you didnt see me so i dissapeared ,so now your eyes have come to be open
and your wondering where i am
but im gone
 and im never coming back
_______________________________________________________________________________.....
Why did i go back
why did i go back to you ,cause everythings the same
as always... u lured me in with your charm, just till im willing to stay
then u trap me and hold me in place and mistreat me just the same,
you appear charming and sweet but underneith your cruel and controling
on the inside i say all the things to you i dont have the courage to say
and on the inside i hate how i love u more each day
i hate how im conflicted between the lines of love and hate
and i hate how i cant seem to stay away 
so i sit here in the mist of your bull*****once again
and wonder ...why did i go back


Details | Prose Poetry | |

9Ninety0

 9Ninety0 
9Ninety0 
 
 
CharlaXFabels 
 
 
On SUNDAY 
 
ADAYOFOURLORD 
 
 When judgement come what will you say can you tell the JESUS 
what you done in just one day eye left some fish upon the way then left my bed to 
gather more than eye can eat for eye am blessed my heart is full of love for 
people eye have never met and strangers yell at me from van and make me cuss 
and curse and hate yet the things eye found was blessed a cake a homemade 
cake remember LORD when we ate the cake eye found it in the city park on that 
SUNDAY when the man in the van rolled his window down he yelled screamed 
growled at me so cartoon of a character so rubber legged he would not stop near 
me for eye was mad at THEE for letting evil men get near me they rob me of my 
grace more needed now on SUNDAY as eye sit and feed my face eye will not go 
further with embellishments and lies intended just to sell a story to the men who 
drive the van and bother men with hate for eye found some extra clothing and 
added it to mind for there was no one there in the park today just laying on the 
ground eye passed the beggars sides with full larder laid as eye did not even lay 
it down eye hope they have an empty cup of alcoholic stop eye began this day 
without a fish but now my bags is hard to carry a brand new hooded shirt upon 
my belly my jacket getting heavy my cake and coffee is so nice please KISS mye 
lambea wherever she is at a smile upon her face for eye and love and grace on 
SUNDAY. This is CharlaXFabel number NINTEY. 



Details | Free verse | |

a life of pain

I can remember the sadness in my heart,I remember how people use to treat me,I remember when I wasn't accepted from you guys,You put me in a hole,You shown me to hate and hate my enimes and love myself even more,I remember the pain you put me through,My anger arise aganist me,I felt like a demon coming inside me,I guess my life was falling apart,there's no reason to lie,
but now I have people who is there for me and people who love's me now,
I guess I ain't crazy after all


Details | Free verse | |

This is what life is

Life is a dagger;
beautiful and fragile, but will stab you in the back.
It will take away the pain and misery,
and bring it all back.

And then you're standing on the edge,
not knowing where to go.
Your past lyes below you,
and so does your living soul

The music rang loud in your ears,
a tear rushed down your face.
And you heard a gunshot, 
as the stars danced through the pain.

Now your feelings leave your body
but your body stays on the ground.
You're depressed, stressed
Unconfessed.

You're a mess, tearing apart on the path
that leads you to the end.
And you're so close, but too far to get there.
Too far to look back at the pain and misery he caused you
And the stars, they glistened through the pain.

But your body loses control,
Flames burning through your soul,
only to be shot down by the clouds filling your mind
and refueled by the burning fire inside.


Details | Rhyme | |

LEFTovers

Left in my own thoughts Tarnished forever through nightmares Pierce me with your passions…tangle me in your knots You left me…I have no choice, but to cry… I’m breaking by the seams I drink in the sorrow… I spew up regret… I cannot drink any further I drink and drown myself – unable to hope for tomorrow I’m left in my own thoughts…I cannot walk any longer I recall my past decisions…I’m swallowed up by the echoes of fear I’m not your valuable merchandise! Don’t seek me – you wanted your dreams to come true and peace to draw near Don’t count on me – I’m not wise! I’m swallowed up by the churning sea… Leading me to my own demise I drink in the sorrow… I puke up resentment…I’m upset and cannot go on with life I douse myself in my misfortune – no one listens to me… No one catches me before I wallow… Pick me up from the murky waters Lift me up from the gutters Make me spotless and leave me the leftovers Dress me up and hand me some covers I’m trying to piece together my fragmented thoughts I can’t see a happy ending in this scene – Preserve my notions in Your thoughts and save them like leftovers… Oh, but my thoughts are thrown in the trash like rotten leftovers – left unseen Tarnished forever through nightmares My foul ideas don’t have a structure – they’re just… Tangled up knots


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

Fantasy

I want the world to burn,
I want to disappear.
I want to stop the pain I feel, 
I don’t want to be here.
I feel overwhelmed,
And wish to die.
Just to feel a simple emotion,
When I cannot cry.
I dream of ending my suffering,
Of slicing through every vein.
But each time I try to escape,
My efforts are in vain.
I dream of emptiness,
Because I cannot feel the joy.
I dream,
But feel no release.
I live a life I destroy.
And each time I cut,
I come closer to what I fear.
I wonder what would happen,
If I let go and lie here.
I’ve often thought of dying,
So much better than crying.
I dream of it,
Like a fantasy.
A dream I want,
But cannot see.
There are so many times I’ve had the chance,
The chance to end it all.
Yet I keep falling,
Falling and failing just to stall.
Maybe I’ll finally make it,
Kill myself and end the call.
Then I’ll find peace and end my endless fall.
But don’t cry for me,
I feel nothing at all.
I’m better off dead,
Than enduring the pain of my brawl.


Details | Free verse | |

So-Called Good Christians

You have made a choice. 
You have chosen hatred. 
In our Heavenly Father, 
you have chosen not to rejoice. 
He is who spares the most awful dread. 
  
You have chosen to hate me. 
First it was the “N” word, 
the Afro comment, 
and my curly hair. 
Now you hate me 
for the religion 
that I have chosen to be. 
My faith gives me what is right and fair. 
  
I pity you for all your hate. 
But you made it clear my fate. 
A Mormon to this date, 
a Mormon forever. 
Your rage and hate 
prove my faith and 
choice of religion right. 
Your bigoted hatred
I have chosen to fight 
by giving it light. 
I want it 
in everyone's sight. 
  
Your rage and hatred is your only boast. 
But with it you are engrossed. 
Like you, your rage and hatred 
are nothing but compost. 
Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit 
gives me what I need the most. 
  
And for you, that is just 
too bad so sad. 
  


Details | Free verse | |

The Secret Behind Myself

Ripple, 
Ripple, 
Ripple, 
A man floats down the river. 
Find the answers to your soul, 
Discover your hearts desire in the place it all began. 
I stare into the eyes of the one I should know better than all. 
But I am a stranger in these lands. 
I search, search out the words, the question my soul craves. 
Why? How? 
How can you hate yourself when you are the center? 
You give relief to the thirsty, strength to the weak, 
You rejuvenate the cracked, the broken. 
You brighten all color, and give flavor to the bland. 
You resinate life and its many forms. 
Your ability to change form to fit the needs of all else and yet you harbor hate?
WHY DO YOU HATE YOURSELF? 
But silence. 
I see nothing. 
These waters have been tainted, mislead, polluted, and defiled. 
We wrap ourselves in pain, secrets, and despair like the fathers who've forgotten us.
These broken waters stare back at me, 
Unwavering and unknown, eyes cut deep into me, 
Its question for me is already known. 
Why? Why do you wish to die? 
Ripple, 
Ripple, 
Ripple, 
These ripples turn to waves. 
Splash. 
The answer is clear. 
A man floats down the river.


Details | Lyric | |

Heartbreak -Version2

Can I stay asleep? When my eyes are closed I’m happy In my dreams Everything is perfect [Chorus] But that’s why they’re called dreams Because nothing is real And they always shatter into A thousand pieces And that’s the sting of Reality I want to go back to sleep I don’t like this feeling I’ve lost you already I hate it And my dreams have died [Chorus] [Refrain] This is Reality I hate it Reality It sucks [Chorus]


Details | Free verse | |

One of Those Days

He who wanted attention
Wanted not
Wanted to exist
But seems he never did
Does meaningful things
For others
But they never noticed
Never seems to be something
Something he was
Something he is
They said he's a Pessimist
Your optimism only irritated him
But you made him
Molded him to what he is
He had a choice
We all had
Its just
You chose to drive him away
Its not like it hurts
Not like it used to
But not anymore
He spent his life with the trees
Taught him not to talk
Taught him not to socialize
Taught him not to feel

Guess what
Im a pessimist
And
Im a tree

Not like you
Optimistically stupid.


Details | I do not know? | |

The dream

It all seams like a dream,
I walk through the day in a daze,
With the distant memory,
Of your lips pressed softly to mine.
I miss everything,
Your kiss,
Your touch,
The way you talk to me,
Softly,
Sweetly,
Passion lacing around every word.
I try to forget,
To push you out of my mind,
But when you look at me,
I look at you,
And fall in love all over again.
I miss all that we had,
All that we almost had,
What we could have had.
I want to hold you.
Never let you go.
I want to hold your hand,
To be more than just friends.
To hear you say you love me,
And to not even be mine,
Causes my heart to break,
Into 1000 pieces.
Again I want to cry,
I hate that you left me,
For someone different.
I hate this raging nightmare,
Where it seams,
You will never be mine.


Details | Verse | |

Is There Still Good in You

You beat me down,
Told me not to cry,
Not to show weakness.
You showed me no sign,
Of ever loving me,
Showing no sympathy.
You hit me down again,
and just my luck,
You didn't give a crap,
But I still believed there was good in you.

I let you hit me, 
Thinking it was alright.
You told me not to cry,
And to hold it all inside,
But I let a tear fall,
And then you saw,
Now I fell with it.
But I still believed there was good in you.

Days grew longer,
As life got shorter.
I may have only been eight,
But I still had a great ache.
I didn't understand what was happening,
Why did I keep ending up in the clinic,
With scars on my wrists?
Because you hadn't loved me enough.
You crushed my spirits,
And put a hole in my heart.
There is no good in you.
I don't know what my father saw in you.

Now I'm stuck with a twisted mind,
And can't make sense of any kind.
I cannot find,
Who I really am,
Because you never gave a damn.
So now you see,
How I have come to be.
Just a lost puppy,
This is me.


Details | Rhyme | |

hate

hate

Its a strong word,
but some of these feelings are absurd.
im confused...
was it not what i beleived?
was it a phony plan concieved ?
to just use me?
if so i hate you ...
so much  have to thank you.
for without your fake love it wouldnt of been so clear,
to see tha man above.
and when i say i hate you....
i really hate me tha way i was.
Fake hopes,Fake dreams,Fake love is all that it seems.


Details | Free verse | |

Used and Abused

Guilty feelings is what 
I’m left with, 

How could I?
How could I be so weak?
How could I be so stupid?

How could I believe your lies? 
I should have known,
You were using me…

I should have been stronger
I could have said NO!!
Like all the other times
now I’m left with doubts
and insecurities…

You’re gone!
Heaven knows if I’ll ever 
see you again, 
me and my pipe-dreams
state of mind,
thought you loved me

All you wanted was my body
now my body might change forever…

I HATE YOU!
for taking my innocence away…

I HATE YOU!
for being the reason 
I’m left vulnerable,
left feeling used,
left feeling dirty…

What will my parents say?
I am only fifteen, still a child myself
I’m not ready 
to be a mother…

*This poem was inspired by the high number of Teenage Pregnancies around the world*


Details | I do not know? | |

...I wish you happiness.

I hate the caution that directs me.
I wish you knowledge of all my wrong.
I'm sorry that I am.

Curse these selfish feelings.
And curse myself for hiding.
I hate that I bring pain,
And clear confusion.
I wish that I could share myself.

Days before you came, no words were worthy.
You give meaning to sense, and always give entirely.
I'm sorry that I lied, so sorry that I hide.

I wish that you have greatness.
And this is why I'm selfish,
To share with you my thoughts.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,

But I think I may just love you.


~Written in 2004 (Monday, 23rd, June) when I was fifteen.


Details | Free verse | |

Cutting

	The pain is too much,
I can’t take it anymore,
It makes me want to fall,
Straight through the floor.
	I’ve held it inside me,
For far too long,
I’m tired of being told,
That everything I do is wrong.
	The first time was an accident,
But I’ll do it again,
Even though I know,
Cutting is a sin.
	I hold the blade in my hand,
Swipe it across my skin,
I see the blood come pouring out,
I think I found a new friend.
	You may not believe me,
But I don’t feel the pain,
Even though the blood,
Pours like the rain.
	When I see the blood,
Coming from the cut,
I feel the pain leaving,
For my eyes are now shut.
	I finally found something,
I can control,
I know when to stop,
I control the flow.
	When the blood leaves me,
Other things do as well,
The pain and heartache,
There’s no more to tell.


Details | Rhyme | |

I hate you

I hate you
I hate looking at you
I hate thinking about you
I hate the times we had
I hate the good and bad
I hate the emotional things
For you my heart still bleeds
I hate the tears that fall
I hate you most of all
It takes a lot away
To still see you smile today
I hate you for everything you've done
I hate you for the pain you brung
I hate that you cant change
for whats done is done
and hate will always remain.


Details | Free verse | |

little sister

I walk down this dark path knowing where it leads,

holding a small flower gently in my hand,

As i walk the air is heavy as if the air is pressing all around me,

I reach my destination a large old decrepit building,

Still showing the burn marks on the windows and door,

I hear a scream in the distance,

Looking around knowing that no one is really there,

Just that this building holds so many memories,

Memories that are so hard to shake,

Walking up to the steps to the door,

Memories of lost ones flow in my head like a flash flood,

That day I lost her,

I lost my baby sister,

I wish I could take it back,

Take back what I said to her,

"I hate you, your the worst sister ever",

But really I don't hate you,

I miss you every day,

Wishing I could turn back time and change the last thing I said,

But I can't,

So every year I bring you your favorite flower,

Hoping you'll forgive me one day,

I think placing the fragile Daisy down on the first step,

Turning and walking away,

Looking back at the scarred house every so often,

The wind blows,

Faintly heard in the wind "I forgive you"


Details | ABC | |

Ashanthi

dearest Ashanthi
the one put me in misery...
for the love that i gave so dearly...
my heart broke into Pisces..
when i was taken to prison...
was my love mistaken..
you used me..
it was always given but not taken..
you are a receiver but not a giver...
the pictures of our lovely  past...
runs trough my head so often...
its so heard for me..
to hate you even today...
i am trying to gather 
all your bad reasons...
to hate you all over again...
but there is something within me...
i wish i can start loving you all over again...
i wish i can kiss you so tenderly once again...
i know you will not see me.. you will not come near me..
yet dearest Ashanthi..
with all your bad reasons...
of ruing my life to send me to prison...
i forgive you for all your stupid mistakes... and just want to say...
i love you always!!


Details | Free verse | |

Still

I hate that you looked
Into my eyes and saw so much.
I hate that you never
Stood up for yourself.
I hate that I felt 
So warm with just one touch.
I hate that you were 
The first to think I was lovely.
I hate that 
Mistletoe,
French fries, 
Those songs, 
And friendly brown eyes 
All remind me of you.
I hate remembering
What we don't have.
I hate giving a hug
Just to find that 
You're not there.
I hate it when
You don't tell a joke,
But I still laugh.
I hate that I never forgot
The feel of your soft hair.
There's nothing like it.
I hate that I still cry
Because I cannot kiss you.
I hate that you
Are out of my reach.
I hate that I hate myself
For still missing you.
I hate that 
I still love you.


Details | Free verse | |

Help, Ache, Scream, Mirror Me, I Am Only Human

Help.
Wish for it all you want, its not coming, you are all alone.
Ache.
The feeling inside your heart you can do nothing about with the fear you've shown.
Scream.
Is what you feel like doing but no noise comes out, 'cause the pain is too much, isn't it?
Helpless.
You've made yourself this way. Painfully anxious about what is ahead of me. . . I am this.
Myself.
Is who I have to blame for everything I have done.
Mirror Me.
It is my own refection I look to when searching for whose at fault when everything goes wrong.
I.
Do not hate myself but I am close to who I'd hate to be.
Human.
Someone who isn't me and will never be the same as me.
A break.
Give me one, I make mistakes, I'm just one person in a world of hate and I'd rather just be happy.


Details | Free verse | |

Surrounded and Lost- In the Nothing

It's like nobody knows me, or
Maybe nobody cares.
It's like I'm alone, so empty,
Though I'm surrounded by empty stares.
I try to be grateful.
I try not to be rude, but
It's as though the gifts and thoughts for me
Are filled with self-gratitude
From the giver, into the solitude.
I search deep within me.
I just cannot find
The answers buried in my heart, and
The truth behind the excuses in my mind. 
I fall helplessly into misunderstanding.
I see myself so spiteful and demanding.
I hate the way I am;
I hate the way I've been.
I hate the way I'm feeling.
There is no defense.
Someday I will figure out
Everything confusing me inside.
Today is not that day.
Right now is not the time.


Details | Free verse | |

Bygone Days

The sick sadistic people that torture the kid
Thinking of thoughts to fascinating in sin
Hiding behind a stature of loneliness he hates
A time warp in his chest it elates
Swaying through time with no cause or mentality
He don't want to feel like a congenital abnormality
Piercing his mind with no anesthesia
Mind caught in the lake of amnesia
Grasping towards another minoral fate
Sometimes in this bygone world its too late
Suffering a wraith in his vivacious serenity
So sad and unaware with no amenity
This boy has suffered for a time of days
Like most diverse and beseeching in many ways
But tampered with is his lamp of time
Puppet strings in his head now a mime 
The prescription of happiness is a lie
Bury the darkness as a maggot one day be a fly
This is the torture of a teen so young
Now no speech they take your tongue
Its over
Its over
Slit it in his own health
Slayed down for his enlightened death....


Details | Free verse | |

Hate the way i lie

I cant stand there and watch you burn, its my turn 
I wont let you get hurt, even if I get burnt 
If I hear you cry It will make me die  
All this because you hate the way I lie 

This is real and we both know how it fells 
Right now the pain, it kills 
We wont fight it almost doesn’t fell right 
The right fells wrong, its like that song 

Fueled by our hate ,Blind from our love 
Its like I am drunk,  and stuck in a funk
You give me breath, when I cant breathe  

I cant leave and I cant stay here 
The farther I run, the closer I get
When its good its bad, when its great its worse

I cant stand there and watch you burn, its my turn 
I wont let you get hurt, even if I get burnt 
If I hear you cry It will make me die  
All this because you hate the way I lie 

Have you ever cared so much, when they are not there you cant breathe?
When they are there, you get week in the knees?
And when they leave, you can barley see.

I said I would never hurt you, and I see now how I did
Cant even look at you in your eyes
Trying not to think about all of the lies 
 
Crazy in love, or in love crazy 
Its time to go our separate ways, 
Its time for us to have a new day
That was yesterday, but today
Its a different day 
 
No promise I will show restraint 
Life is a game, play it without aim
I wont lie again, but I am still watching you leave
I guess that’s why you found Steve

I cant stand there and watch you burn, its my turn 
I wont let you get hurt, even if I get burnt 
If I hear you cry It will make me die  
All this because you hate the way I lie 

I did things I didn’t mean, said things that whernt so clean 
I am in a new pattern, with a different routine
But your the same as me, and just don’t believe
But when it comes to us, there is always a fuss

I know it was me, and you should flee 
Our relationship was crazier then it seams
Like a hurricane and a blizzard

So I pack my bags, and go outside
I can fell the pain, with nothing left to gain
Cant even look in to my eyeball , with out needing a highball
Next time I fight , It will be though a peep sight 

No next times, because I am gone
I am sorry for my lies 
My games is what caused pain, and she doesn’t want me back
I know I should not have lied
This time I am gunna leave, and set my slef on fire, 
That we people know we expired

I cant stand there and watch you burn, its my turn 
I wont let you get hurt, even if I get burnt 
If I hear you cry It will make me die  
All this because you hate the way I lie


Details | Free verse | |

Regrets

This anger that is inside me now is tearing me apart,
    After all this time I find you had been lying from the start.
I am hurting so much from the pain you have caused me,
    By using your beauty and charm so I would not see.
All the lies and deceit while loving you and giving all my trust,
    I will expose your evil ways and mean doings this is a must.
Never  should another endure what you have put me through,
     This I will make sure of if it's the last thing that I ever do.
How dare you break my heart and then treat me so bad ,
      It  takes a lot to upset me but girl you have made me mad.
You've no idea the rage that I am carrying inside me now,
      I will make you regret this one day I will figure out how.
If it's the last thing I do I am going to make a example of you,
      How and when I am not sure of but trust me it will be soon.
You walk away from me as if you've done nothing wrong,
      Believe me girl I will show you and it wont take me long.
Seriously do you think you can get away with treating me this way?
      So wrong you are for that and you will know this one day.
That deceiving the man thats so in love with you ,
      Is something you are going to learn not to ever do.
Why would you ever do this to a man that loved you so,
      I guess this is something that I am never going to know.
This anger inside that is slowly tearing me apart ,
       Blinded by your ways I was completely in the dark.
Just one more thing I must say to you before I go ,
       You are evil  and that's something everybody will know.
TAC
   


Details | Free verse | |

REGRETS AND RESENTMENT

as time passes by;
like word born on the streets,
you never knew hard,
till it hits you deep within.
even if there is pain without the tears,
it doesn't mean it's any less of a struggle to forget.
hard aches on heartaches,
resentment is hard to leave by when the regret is there.
sublime tears that echoes and tears you up inside,
meanwhile, I try not to stray from my true nature!!!
vibration of a cry that is not too well played out;
pound per pound,
restless beatings of my chest,
leaves a residue of unsound sorrow that marks the epitamy of being alone,
which is never too easy.
like a melody that is deaf with tone,
cheating destiny has no future in it.
I am forever standing still in the sands of time,
like time has made me a mark of inequities.
no right direction to go from where I'm left off;
but just to look for the easiest way out!
still doesn't justify the reason of my situation.
out of the mourning dew:
I try to stay awake........
still, I miss missing the way we are!!!


Details | I do not know? | |

I hate the player AND the game

I loathe you-

    I especially hate your face-

        But, I really hate that I miss
          
              The salty way that your lips taste-

 

I hate all your hurtful lies-

      That are cleverly hidden behind-

               Charmingly deceptive 
       
                        Clear, blue eyes-

 

Such a careless, inattentive lover-

      I really should have guessed-

            That you were too good to be true

                     & Of course,
  
                           you were hidding "others"-

 

You take off and you leave-

       Disappearing somewhere into the night-

              Just as I naitievly thought
 
                    Everything was begaining- 

                           To start to feel right- 

 

I really dont think that your able to care-

        About anybody else-

              Because in this life-

                     Your just in it alone-
 
                            Only caring about yourself-
   
           -Erin Anderson 04/20/2012


Details | Free verse | |

Volcano

Battle scars, erupting hot volcanos......
Who knows where the pieces of my heart are, who does?
I have hidden all my hurt....
You have chased away my will to live!
Pain runs through my heart like red hot lava;
Engulfing and burning, everything in its way!
You killed my dreams, my passionate love,
No more caring or trying to understand!
My sad soul and ice cold heart....
A hard black rock in its stead.
Every fibre of my being, then pulsing, now dying!
My love for you was like an exploding star,
Until your universe collided with mine and smothered it!
The vines of passion have cringed, dried up and died,
Laid to rest in the cold hard soil.
The taste of bitter aloe still lingers in my mouth!
My imagination has gone, leaving a blank dark hole!
My soul is screaming for release, “ just let me go”!
Red hot lava runs through my veins, engulfing my self being;
Me, myself and I have been burnt beyond recognition.
My ashes are floating away on an icy cold wind,
Scattered amongst the black, dark soil.


Details | Free verse | |

Pain

Pain…
A word with a thousand meanings
Used to express situations 
Full of agony mixed with suffer
Pain…
An adverb used to fulfill ache
A result of betrayal, lies, and disloyalty
A mask of cruelty, used to describe 
People, times, hurt
Without pain, without love, without hate
A world isn’t a world
These cause the continuation of the universe
Cause the break of some people 
And the patience of others
Without pain there is no hate 
Without hate there is no love
Without love there is nothing…
You can never understand pain
Unless you experience it 
You can never confront it 
Unless you have a heart
Build with courage, filled with love
You can never abandon it 
Cuz it will hunt you down 


Details | I do not know? | |

Seasonal Change (Angel of Sadness)

As my soul dwells in your past 
I kill for this moment to pass 
Al though I smile 
I find myself more and more suppressed 
As if, your casket was buried in my chest 

Yes, I breathe 
For I believe 
I am promised to leave 

And I hate the winter 
All the days of September 
I hate the center of a broad frost December 

And as the night expires 
My fright assumes your desires 
I feel I am not the child I used to be 
The privilege of this substance abuses me 
I hate to be the selfish man I have become 
But as if it were fate 
Sadness reigns past noon for some 

I hate the winter 
All the days of September 
I hate the center of a broad frost December


Details | I do not know? | |

Hate

The last thing i ever wanted was for you to die.
I wish that you were here with me.
Id tell you how much i love you sweetie.
You are just my Angel, i love you so,
I never wanted you to go.
I miss you with everything i ever had
Now when my life ends
Ill just pretend
I Hate You
My life without you
Has been a living Hell
My mother
My friends even can tell
I break apart
I hate my life
I hate my heart...


Details | I do not know? | |

Seedling

Given love and hope and warmth and light
The seedling can begin its fight
Defy the elements trying to survive
Trying so hard despite its short time alive
Your love and hope and warmth and light
Is all that gets me through the night
I would surrender without you by my side
Drowned by all of the tears I cried
Given hate and despair and darkness cold
The seedling never even grows old
Brutally defeated by the frigid frost
Cold winds blow another life is lost
My hate and despair and darkness cold
Is closing my heart making me old
Overwhelmed by all the time I've lost
My soul is a land of tundra and frost


Details | Free verse | |

Hate Vs, Love

Hate to hate,
You hate me
Don't mean I have to hate you,
You hate
I will love
Just because
That is the person
I will rise above.


Details | Free verse | |

Divided

Divided into the pieces of pieces of pieces,
That form my fully conscious conscience
I hate that love to love
Have the ability to love to hate
But will always hate to hate
I wish I could be the over praised,
over exaggerated,
over rated normality that is blessed to so many
But me
I want to be inside the box
because the weather out here,
sucks as much as my skewed and looped perception of
Where I thought I was going....


Details | Rhyme | |

So Much

So much pain
So much hatred
So very distraught
But still sacred
So much anger
So much anticipation
So much anxiety
To fill this dissipation
So much f***ing attitude
So much f***ing heart
So many f***ing personalities
So hard to disregard
Too much force
Too much to maintain 
Too much pressure 
You're to blame


Details | Free verse | |

Pressure

The truth revealed; regret settles in.
"Why, why me?!?!?!"
The blades whipped out; hatred.
Knight in armor, mutated into satan.
"Your devil horns stab my back!! Why you have NO mercy to me?!?!?!"
Can't forget...the stained corner calls. 
Pulled in...your face in sight.
"Help!!! Please, I beg you!!!"
Reached out hand..so close to touch...gone.
Slipped into the hell you left on my shoulders.


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate preview

I  HATE

I hate to say I understand some ones pain knowing I really have no clue.
And I hate trying to give them advice when I know I wouldn't know what to do.
I hate saying its going to be okay when I myself is doubting it in my mind.
And I hate asking millions of questions when I know the answers are hard to find.
I hate to pry into someones personal space even thou I know a hug is needed.
And I hate to fuel the fire of emotions by accident because I don't want to feed it.
I rather not be the one held responsible when someone's world comes tumbling down
And I hate to be the person that catches the after shock but I'll always be around.
I hate to say it doesn't matter when I know deep down inside it really does.
And I hate make people dwell in the past because this is the way it is and that's the way it 
was.
I hate to see people sob even thou it doesn't move me enough to make me want to cry.
And I hate to see people who hate life so much that it would make them want to die.

I hate to see that ignorance is still being birth in a country who lives off of being diverse.
And I hate to think that we came along way in these hundreds of years just to disperse.
I hate that it takes drastic measures to bring people together as one.
And I hate that people no longer have the attitude of what's done is done.
I hate that people now have to take things to the next level when it could easily be dropped.
And I hate that if your walking down the street innocently your life could now be stopped.
I hate that kindness is now taken for weakness so people are taking advantage of others.
And I hate when fathers don't take care of their responsibility and the same goes for 
mothers.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

LAUGHTER WINE

For years I drank
     laughter wine, aged on fears and depression;
(it seems that no one likes a pessimist).

Laughter wine served with plastic jokes
	and drunk from society's suffrage glass.

Sour laughter wine sours the spirit; 	
	sweet laughter wine is a better drink.

It is aged on the hope;
	The faith that social sufferings will end.

It is proper to drink Sweet laughter wine
	from your soul-glass.


Details | I do not know? | |

how could u

how could u leave me with just my innocence
how could i was just a baby
how could u forget all about me 
how could u not take me with u
how could u just sit there and help not help me
how could u throw him away i hate u for that
how could u say he dont love me 
how could u let me not have nothing to do with him
how could u leave me with only little memories of u 
i cant stand it i hate u both of u for everything if u would have takein me i could of
avoided all of the crap that has become of my stupid painful life


Details | Ballade | |

Thomas

My middle son he is the one that tears my heart in two

I ask myself everyday “Am I good enough for you?”

He wants more than I can give and just doesn’t seem to see

I give him all he asks for, what does he want from me?

I try to reach out to him, but nothing ever seems to work

Just yesterday at the dinner table, he called me a stupid jerk

I love him with all I have inside my aching heart

But the hate in his eyes for me just tears my soul apart

He blames me for his father’s passing he’s said it more than twice

When I try to comfort him his heart it turns to ice

What can I do to change the way he feels about me?

If he would only let me in I know I could make him see

That I am not the villain here all I want is his happiness

But every time I try to reach him things end up a mess

Thomas is my middle son I love him with all my heart 

The hate he has inside for me I hope someday will part. 

One day I hope we’ll be closer like a true mother and her son

Then at last the battle will end and both of us will have won!


Details | Blank verse | |

I hate love

happy faces all around me
love that makes me sick
eyes all lovey dovey
it makes my stomach tick
i hate when others are happy
it only reminds me i am not,
I am not with the man I love
I'm just alone a lot
I hate love so much
I hate that others smile
What is there to be happy about?
Loves just gonna leave in a while
Yet people do not listen
they stay blind
they do not know
that hate they will soon find


Details | Free verse | |

Deepest Reaches of Hell

In the blackest night a foul breeze blows across me
as the demons lust and desire they ravage me.
Their claws tearing my flesh, he has sent them to collect me.

My screams echo through the deepest reaches of hell,
Satan smiles when he hears the sounds of my pain and suffering
as they drag me down to him. His joy filling my soul with hate
and contempt for him, he feels alive.

Like a cut rose I fight for life only to dry up, 
to be tossed out as if I were nothing,
not even a thought or a memory will remain.

Lost in the throws of abandon at his will,
living only for his pleasure, his every whim.
I hate him; I hate myself for being lost to him.

My heart chained and locked to his, happiness eludes me.
I find myself waiting for the peace of death to find me.
In a constant battle I fight for my sanity, I live my fears.

I defy him in all places of my heart, 
with victory over my soul, he laughs at me.
My eyes see the blood dripping from his teeth;
his breath putrid with the smell of decaying flesh and bone
of the ones who came before.

As his darkness unfolds over my mind I am lost,
lost to myself, lost to love, lost to life.
Even in my dreams he degrades me,
forced to watch as he crushes them before my eyes.

I find myself covered in the blanket of his wickedness,
chained by his evil heart; his demons hold me to him, 
there is no escape.

In the blackest night, when the foul breeze blows against me
I will know they are coming.
He has sent them to collect me once again.

His lust and desire will consume me,
my screams will echo and he will smile as they bring me to him.
Once again my suffering will make him feel alive.

This devil, 

this Satan

 will keep me forever imprisoned in the 
deepest reaches of hell.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Consumed by Hate

Sitting here all alone, I am consumed by hate.
I try to think of the times when I was strong,
The times when I could let the pain go, 
then I remember it was just fate.
I didn’t think this pain would last for this long.
I try to find a safe place, a place where
There is no pain, a place where someone will understand.
I try to find a place, but the hate consumes me yet again.
I begin to remember all the broken promises, 
All the hateful words, then comes to mind all the “I love you’s.”
Consumed more and more by hate with every memory 
Which comes to mind, I try to hold back the tears as I 
Feel them begin to surface, and then comes to mind my 
Biggest fear, my pain will never fade. 
Consumed by hate for him, hate that terrifies me, hate which,
makes me not want to be me. I found a place that is not good for me,
yet in this place I escape and I am not me, the pain disappears
for a short while, for a short while I feel free. No more pain
and no more fears. In this place I should not be, this much I know 
but in this place for just a short while I am not consumed by hate.
Lost in this place trying to find my way back, yet wanting to stay 
Lost just a while longer because I know once I leave this place
I again will be consumed by hate.


Details | Free verse | |

my life

what am i living for ?
for eating, sleeping and working...
what is so special in my life ? 
whenever i sit alone ,i keep on crying 
for something that i want very much,
for something that i cant find...
and this thing made me hate everything around me , 
even the nearest person to me. 
i hate myself for not changing my life, 
for not being happy , 
for not being genuine with my self, 
for not being extrovert  
for obliging myself to be detached from the world and from the people around me.
but i the love the Sara in me , the Sara that's sleeping deeply in my soul waiting  
for me to wake up her...     
but my question is :is she going to help me??? 
some people born to be happy and to have a nice, easy life 
but some people born to have a tough and a hard life...
why do i have to be from the second kind ???
i keep telling myself : im the happiest person on earth, which is not .
i try to fill my time in anything to stop the feeling of orgasm , 
because it hurts my soul a lot , and it's hard to be healed again ...


Details | Ballad | |

Nothing To Find

Torn apart the dreams turn to tears, Going back to anger are the only fears. Trying to find a safe place to hide, The only thing is hate and guilt to the side. Nowhere to ease the mind, Nothing to find. 

True values of pain, Like a cowardly leader in battle to be slain. Rise to fall, There's no feeling to feel at all. Torn apart the dreams turn to tears, Going back to anger are the only fears. Trying to find a safe place to hide, The only thing is hate and guilt to the side. Nowhere to ease the mind, Nothing to find.


Details | I do not know? | |

COULD YOU

COULD YOU ONEDAY STOP LOVING ME?
LEAVE ME HATE ME AND LET ME BE?
COULD YOU EVER CALL ME OUT OF NAME?
SAY IT'S MY FAULT EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT TO BLAME?
COULD YOU TURN YOUR HEAD AND FORGET ABOUT ME?
ACT LIKE I NEVER EXSISTED JUST BECAUSE WE DISAGREED?
COULD YOU WALK AWAY AND NEVER LOOK BACK?
OR YELL OBSCENITIES JUST FOR ATTACK?
COULD YOU EVER WISH THAT I WAS DEAD?
AND TELL ME THAT I WAS TRUELY MISLEAD?
TELL ME THAT I NEVER MEANT A THING?
AND ALL ALONG I WAS NOTHING BUT A FLING?	
COULD YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE?
AND TELL ME THAT IT WAS ALL A LIE?
COULD YOU SLAP ME IN THE FACE?
AND TELL ME YOU NEED YOUR SPACE?
COULD YOU WOULD YOU DISAPPEAR WITHOUT A TRACE?
AND NEVER AGAIN HOLD ME IN YOUR WARM EMBRACE?
COULD YOU ONEDAY STOP LOVING ME?
LEAVE ME HATE ME AND LET ME BE?


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate You

I hate you
I hate you so much
For what you did
I didn't deserve it 
I said no
But you didn't listen
Now I lost everything
I lost everything that was important to me
It doesn't hurt you
Not the way it hurts me
I'm damaged
Emotionally, physically, and mentally
I can never trust a man again
I will never be the same
I just don't understand 
Why? Why me?
It's been over a year since it happened
But I haven't forgotten
I never will
Everytime I see my son 
I think of you
I ask myself
How did I get someone so special and beautiful
From someone so ugly and hurtful
I don't know
I don't think I will ever know
I just hope that 
Wherever you are 
You know that I hate you.


Details | Rhyme | |

I hate you

I hate the way it's all my fault, I didn't speak a word
I hate the way I'm faithful, it's the least you deserve
I hate it that you lack respect for everything I do
The only thing I love right now is bitterly hating you

I hate the way you prod and poke your nose in everything
I hate the way this turned out to be more than just a fling
I hate the way I have no strength to tell that we are through
The only thing I love right now is ruthlessly hating you

I hate you, eveything about you, don't think it'll change
You have to ask yourself right now, what made me feel this way
You shouldnt of dismissed me, disrespected, disbelieved
I hate the way you're such a fool for thinking I'm naive

I wish I could turn back the clock and break your black heart first
Savagely rip you to shreds, ground your respect to dust
I'd slip my hands around your throat instead of round your waist
I pray one day I can swallow my pride without this bitter taste


10th October 2011


Details | I do not know? | |

Deep

It's so hard to look at you, when all i can see in your eyes are the memories from that one night. The pain almost killed me, and all you could do was stand there and watch in pleasure. I hate it how your smile takes away my breath and I hate it how your touch changes my heartbeat. Don't you just love that I have so much anger put towards you, don't you just adore how much I wish i could strangle you. It's hard not to laugh at your humorus mind. It's hard not to be tickled by how much you please the world with your life. You may be happy with how you got your way with me and you may be obsessed with the thought of getting another time the way you had before. If I could go back in time I would turn on you and hurt you the same way you have hurt me


Details | I do not know? | |

Enabler

Oh my God! You are such a liar!
Sitting in a chair, your eyes conspire
To tell me lies you’ve told before.
But to me, you cannot hide the core
In your existence.
Oh my God!  I can hear you hiding
Behind these words you are confiding.
Your eyes plead for my silence.
Weakly, you ask for my reliance
In your existence.
Oh my God! I would chew those lies,
Lest you hate and cut all ties.
I’ll take your reasons with a smile,
So that I may rest here for a while
In your existence.
Oh my God! I hate all the things I know!
Hate all those things that you won’t show.
So, keep lying to me for goodness sake!
Perhaps, someday, it will restore my faith
In your existence.


Details | Rhyme | |

Temporary Death

I’ve set my right hand on the fault line
But who is there to hold the rest
Million tremors coming for you
And I can’t help you stand the test

Give power now unto my left hand
It upon the trigger rests
One bullet left to stop the quaking
One bullet saves you from certain death

I aim and fire towards love forgotten
I kill you now to prevent your pain
You’ll die tonight in hate and darkness
Yet wake tomorrow in calming rain

So hate me now until forever
Just know I cared until the end
Hate me, breathe me out like fire
But just know these scars will mend 


Details | I do not know? | |

Hate the Rain

I hate the rain, hate the rain
How it always rains on me
And when it's raining
I wish for sunny days
Drowning in puddles of forbidden dreams
Showers that drench my only means
To feel you once again

I hate the rain, hate the rain
How it never seems to quit
And when it's flooding
I wish my life to float away
Sinking to the bottom of an endless void
Ocean that crushes the only means
To reach you once again

When the ominous clouds won't blow away
And the only thing left is sunless shade 
The only thing left that still remains
Is the rain, rain that won't go away


Details | I do not know? | |

JUST ANOTHER POEM

 JUST ANOTHER POEM


SOMETIMES I REALLY FEEL ALONE
AS IF A ROSE THAT ONE HAS OUT GROWN
NO ONE TO TALK TO NO ONE WHO CARES
KNOWING THAT MY PROBLEMS ARE MINE TO BARE
I SHOULDN'T REALLY CARE THAT THERE'S NO ONE THERE
BUT SOMETIMES IT HURTS CAUSE I REALLY NEED TO SHARE
TO SHARE WHAT'S ON MY MIND OR IN MY HEAD
TO SHARE FEELINGS THAT I THINK MIGHT BE DEAD
IN MY SKY THERE ARE NO STARS
ONLY FADED FACES AND DEEP WOUNDED SCARS
SOMETIMES I GO AND SIT IN THE PARK
BUT NEVER IN THE DAYTIME ONLY THE DARK
DARKNESS IS MY LIFE MY WAY OF BEING
MY WAY OF LIVING MY WAY OF SEEING
I THINK IT MIGHT BE BETTER TO BE BLIND
THEN ONLY SWEET VISIONS CAN DANCE IN MY MIND
VISIONS OF HAPPINESS AND MEMORIES OF LOVE
MEMORIES OF ANGELS THAT HAVE BEEN SENT FROM ABOVE
BUT THINGS SUCH AS THIS ARE ONLY A DREAM
AND MY TEARS CONTINUE TO FALL FROM MY EYES IN A STREAM
I LOOK AT MY LIFE AND REALIZE THAT I HATE IT
AND SOMETIMES IT WOULD BE EASIER JUST TO QUIT
I HATE WHERE I LIVE AND EVERYONE AROUND ME
MY NIEGHBORS NO NOT HOW TO LET ME BE
I HATE MY DR'S WHO KNOW NO CURE
WHO THINK THAT IN THIER MINDS EVERYTHING IS PURE
I KNOW THAT I'LL ALWAYS BE JUST "WELL CONTAINED"
AND WITH THE RIGHT TREATMENT I MIGHT BE TRAINED
TRAINED NOT TO SCREAM OR HOLLER OR SHOUT
I THINK A BULLET TO THE BRAIN MIGHT BE MY WAY OUT
OUT OF THIS MISERY AND PAINED STAKED LIFE
OUT OF THIS THING THAT CUTS LIKE A KNIFE.
AWAY FROM THESE EVERYDAY TEARS
AWAY FROM THE THINGS THAT CAUSE ME FEAR
LIKE LOVE AND HAPPINESS AND SHARING A TIME
AND EVEN TRYING MY HARDEST TO MAKE THESE THINGS RHYME
AND IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I AWAKE
I PRAY NOT FOR HIM MY SOUL TO TAKE
LET ME WANDER THROUGH AND THROUGH
LET ME BE MYSELF LET ME BECOME ANEW..........


Details | Free verse | |

steam rising only to collapse

ice in the middle of the carpet
the melting is the healing
the steam rises in the exact place where you said you hate me

stewpot in the corner of the living room
the bubbling over is the tension
the steam creeps out and provides an interesting type of aromatherapy around the exact room where you expressed you desire for emancipation

person clutching an ailing heart
the tachycardia is the stressing
this time there is no steam, but there is a misty gloom that sucks the life out of a life....when you told me to go....


Details | Free verse | |

Remember

I want to remember this moment.
How you made me feel.
Pretending that we are close again,
But knowing it’s not real. 

I want to remember the lies-
How you plagued me with mistrust.
The way your words rang clearly,
They were full of hatred and disgust. 

I want to remember the poetry written.
How you make my writing sound.
I was never truly lost,
I was just looking to be found. 

I want to remember who you claim to be.
How you are a hero who was disguised.
I find that hard to comprehend,
You are always victimized. 

I want to remember our beginning.
How you turned it into the end. 
Finally getting to be myself,
Not having to defend.

I want to remember this moment.
How you made me feel.
Pretending we are close again,
But knowing it’s not real.


Details | Couplet | |

Hate Is My Friend

When one isn’t loved
Hate begins to dwell,
It starts deep within
And then it begins to swell.

But I must be strong
For hate isn’t weak,
It will push against my insides
And at my heart it will begin to eat.

I will start to grow bitter
My words will grow harsh,
My appetite for love would wither
Like a lone flower in a murky marsh.

I would be doomed to roam the earth
In a hypnotic daze,
Only to answer those 
With wicked and evil ways.

Meaningless is my life now 
For I have no love,
Why should I carry on?
Haven’t I had enough?

It seems to me 
That I shouldn’t even try,
For no matter what I say or do
No matter if I cry,

I will always be wrong, 
Or stupid and careless,
And that is why to you readers
I share this.

For love is my enemy
And until my dying end,
Love will always be my enemy
And hate will be my friend.


Details | Free verse | |

Rain

I love the rain
I love the sound
Forgive me if I drip in your eyes.
If I was rain,
would I seep into your skin..
If I fell upon you and you didn't brush me away like you do now,
would I become a part of you?
I love the rain
I love the sound
Forgive me if I soak your shirt.
If I was rain,
would you let me wash away your worries?
If I fell upon you and you didn't brush me away like you do now
would I become a part of you?
I love the rain
I love the sound
forgive me if I ruin your shoes
If I was rain,
Would you still hate me?
Would you hate a natural thing?
Would you hate a simple thing?
Apparently you do.

---[ SKITZ ]--- 2008


Details | I do not know? | |

Changed Destiny

Now is it strange for me to say
at least on this so late a day
words occasionally come late
even though ever filled with hate
why must we our own kind attack
being so as we pain the blacks
and if that's not enough alone
the flame will come down off their throne
to kill us it's your destiny
fortold in all of history
police must exterminate us
justice they say, we blindly trust
I trust alone me god and fist
hide behind 'white' lies and 'black' mist
Blacks kill the masses you now claim
we kill ourselves avoid the flame
you're the burning plague to man kind
manifest destiny in mind
you're born with it so I don't blame
as you turn to God to hide your shame 
white man's ever burden to bare
I hate you not I truly care
end the hate of other faces
we're one race of many places
love is the goal of fragile life
musten't end it with gun and knife.


Details | Free verse | |

My Hell

I hate myself
I’m all alone
And so I must
Stop the aching.. The beating.
My heart.

My home is now a chair,
My chains on wheels.
My torture, my mobility,
Yet my self is still.
Useless.

My love is gone,
Slit his wrists. 
I found him.
I’m still here.
He is Gone.

I’ve got AIDS.
The worst degree.
My pills keep me alive.
I hate them.
Depend on them.

My body is decapitated.
My soul deteriorated.
My mind senseless.
My pain..
Eternal


Details | Free verse | |

Holding on

I don't know who I am anymore.
I don't feel right, I don't feel good.
I don't feel like I should.

Things seem stupid
things seem pointless
I'm starting to feel worthless.

I hate what's happening
I hate that I can't control
anything thats going on anymore

I feel like Im holding on
to my life by a thread
and if I let go, I'll be dead

I'm on the bare minimum
things are going insane
everytime i hear your name.

I want to give up
I want to let go
I want to be somewhere that no one's been before.


Details | Free verse | |

Cannot Get Close To You

I say I hate you,
But you insist you love me,
How can you do such a thing,
Why do you have to become so close to me,
So loved,
I hate you so much,
But my heart says I do,
I love you,
But I cannot say that,
I cannot get close to people,
I will just get hurt,
I always get hurt,
And I never heal,
I hate you,
Why did you do this to me,
You insisted you loved me,
And now you’re gone too.


Details | I do not know? | |

Love It or Hate It

I love the way it feels when you hold me,
I love the way you look into my eyes.
I love the way you make me feel needed,
I love the way you make me think there is no forever in your good-byes.

I love it when you call,
I hate it when you lie.
I love when you kiss me,
I hate it how you make me cry.

I hate the way you make me feel like seconded best,
I hate the way you make me drop everything and wait for your call.
I hate the way you have me wrapped around your fingers,
I hate it because I give you everything of me and you give nothing at all.

I hate this feeling of thinking there will be better,
I hate the good-byes at the door.
I hate that your in my mind asleep or awake,
I hate that I know I can't have you anymore.


Details | Rhyme | |

Thoughts

i hate these thoughts that float in my head
because they are the ones that wont let me go to bed
and they are all about you
night and day even when I pray
i cant get you out
no matter how loud or much I shout
i try to fight and hide
what im thinkin inside
but it always finds a way out other than in my shouts
and I hate it because it always reminds me
of what used to be
its the strongest feeling I've had
and im glad it was for you
because you valued it and knew it was true
i still cry at times when i realize
that it wont be the same anymore
because you have left me and walked out that door


Details | I do not know? | |

Delusions

Sick and disgusted,
I hate all of my visions.
Someone who loves me,
What an impossible conclusion.
Connected together,
Like the bonds of fusion.
Just to be left again,
Suffering from confusion.
Sick and disgusted,
I hate all of my delusions.
Finding true love, like I said,
An impossible conclusion.


Details | Pantoum | |

If She Only Knew

Her veil had become painted with dark misery
As once what was bliss, has now disappeared
The dreams with this man were faded and dreary
Her love turned quickly to hate and to fears

As once what was bliss, has now disappeared
His hands became weapons, stabbing at her heart
Her love turned quickly to hate and to fears
Now knowing from this life, she now must depart

His hands became weapons, stabbing at her heart
He was no longer the man she thought she had known
Now knowing from this life, she now must depart
She prays to find a life she can call her very own

He was no longer the man she thought she had known
The dreams with this man were faded and dreary
She prays to find a life she can call her very own
Her veil had become painted with dark misery


Details | Free verse | |

Unwanted Life

Why do I hate myself, my life overall
It seems as if happiness was my first downfall
Then pain and criticism seemed to follow
Is it possible for a man’s heart to be so hollow
My vales shallow, my dreams long gone
Since my birth date my life has never seen the sun
Never known the meaning of fun, or the true meaning of my being alive
If I want to live is what I’m trying to decide
All my life I have denied, these feelings of insecurity
Intriguingly, I can always seem to find
Someone who: thinks I'm special, so truly divine
And I always wonder how you could love a face like mine
But I live my life afraid and ashamed
Disgraced at how I look, even how my body’s framed
It’s as if I was trained, to find the negative in all
Never do I have anything positive to recall
For my mind is full of hate and my heart full of shame
There is no one but myself to blame
Because when I search in my soul all I seem to find
Is a young man’s life running out of time


Details | I do not know? | |

Hate...

I hear my heart weep and wail around the clock
She cries and whimpers raged thumping my chest with knocks
It's not a bruise or a scratch, not a slash or a tear
Her ache is beyond my competence; no remedy is there
When I ask my heart what causes her to twinge and throb
Her tears rush down quicker, crys grow louder, and she begins to truly sob
I crave to know what set afloat such profound agony
It must be an illness which her eyes can solely see
What ailing could be so cruel and heartless I can't make out
What is it that attacked my fragile heart and settled in her pouch?
All I hear is crying. All I endure is her pain
There's nothing I can do; this illness is too vain
Struggling to calm her down one night, I fell to a yawning sleep
A mighty shake awoke me. My heart wishes to speak
In silence I await her declaration as she weeps and moans
Without a word she points towards my mind hinting to unlock the door
I sealed my eyes and softly unclosed the fastened door
To see facing me the disease which prompts her to mourn
Hate! Hate is the illness filling my heart with misery
Hate is the foe that assaulted her purity
A sigh of relief she makes now that I am aware
Though I can't indicate how hate made through when I dealt her with care
I yearn to know this sinless, virginal heart holds hate for whom
Petrified I am with the answer, this hate my heart holds is for you...


Details | Blank verse | |

Alone in the Dark

God, I’m scared
Scared to be alone
I’ve lost so much
Lost my light
Now I’m alone in the dark
So alone.
My friends try to reach me 
 I’ve fallen too far,
Still trying to stand tall,
But I’m crippled, broken, and bleeding now.
Everything I see is salt in the wounds,
Writhing in pain, all alone in my private hell.
“I’m dying inside and nobody knows it but me.”
Only that’s not the case, everyone knows.
No matter how hard I try to hide in the dark,
No solace, 
No protection in the dark, 
In the cold,
So blind I can’t find myself.
Pain overwhelms feelings of other things.
“Without you, I’m not me”,
And that’s exactly the case,
Smile in the face of death, my welcomed visitor.
Blind, deaf, and dumb 
All I can do is inflict pain.
I hate myself for what I’ve said, and done.
Love is absent from my life
Yet it consumes all.
The absence filled only when I’m touched
And that’s something I’ve missed for months,
Smile, grin and bear it,
Not working.
They see through my shallow smile
It hurts them to see me, when I can’t see them.
In booze I’ve tried to drown the feeling,
But it’s magnified through the liquid.
I feel so stupid,
I want out.
I can’t leave, as much as I hate this place,
I’m drawn to it, stuck.
Drawn like a moth to a flame,
But perpetually burned by it,
Forever night, forever dark, forever cold,
At least that’s how it feels.
Time doesn’t heal, it steals from me
My breath and blood, joy and love,
Gives me in return, pain,
Enough to bathe in
I’ve tried to bleed,
The blood brings no relief,
I do feel human, and that’s the problem.
My bliss is gone, and has left me with no malice,
No hate,
And no desire for revenge,
These things I am without, 
Though I’ve sought them.
Passion, in all of its forms, is gone,
And has left me alone with my agony.
Perfection for me lies in a place were the light lives,
In the smile of another
No one sees, I can’t fix me
Broken before, re-broke now,
Shattered beyond the skills of those I know.
Too broken to fix,
Except by one, who is not ready to be there
Love is the problem, and the solution
Pain is love and love is pain.
Despite the cold,
In the darkness,
I am prepared to wait, 
 Weather the storm.
I just hope I survive the night.


Details | I do not know? | |

Worthless

I’m an asshole, that’s plain to see 
My fault, and hate being me 
Hard to change and hate what I’ve become
I call it a monster, you say I'm not one
Regrets and my biggest is you had to know me 
I hate being a burden, but hate worse being lonely 
I’m not suicidal, not not afraid of death 
Hated and forgotten are the only fears I have left 
And it's something that I always feel
Afraid of losing those I love, afraid of being real 
And it's not easy to cope with 
If I were hated or forgotten by you I couldn’t stand it 
And I’m aware; you tell me not to worry 
I don’t think you understand how hard it is to stop 
You’ve told me often, I know my thoughts are stupid 
I just wish once you'd tell me I'm not so worthless 
...I just wish I wasn’t so worthless….


Details | Romanticism | |

Love & Hate

I love that God let me meet you
I hate that I've had to leave you
I love that we became so close
I hate that that's the way life goes
I love that you're always there
I hate that you think I don't care
I love that you always make me smile
I hate that it only lasts a while
I love that we have the most beautiful times
I hate that our memories lead to my cries
I love that feeling when we're together
I hate that we said it was for the better
I love that love that we have for each other
I hate we can't show it to the world together
I love how our cheeks hurt when we can't stop smiling
I hate that my head hurts but from so much crying
I love that you miss me when I'm gone
I hate that you have to cause I'm gone
I love your kisses and your warm embrace
I hate the problems that we have to face
I love you, miss you, and want you forever
I hate that forever can also lead to never


Details | Lyric | |

Hate You Now


I saw the news today

I'd like to know what the hell you're trying

I want to find away

to silence you, and stop all the dying

You think you're above the law

You'll send to die just as many as you want to

Damnedest thing I ever saw

the mess you've made doesn't even seem to daunt you

You spit in our eyes and say
I'm gonna hate you now

because you are more evil than I am

and I'm gonna hate you now

cause I hate your point of view

I'm gonna hate you now

cause daddy's so proud

and mamma's still crying

and I'm gonna hate you now

cause my God told me to
When will it ever end

You'd think you would have learned by now

and what about you my friend

could you please tell me how

How will we find our way

when the God you pray to is a fat cash cow

who'll stand up and say

This has got to end.

but you slap mommas face and say
I'm gonna kill you now

because you are more wicked than I am

and I'm gonna kill you now

cause I hate your point of view

I'm gonna kill you now

My daddy's so proud and momma keeps crying

and I'm gonna kill you now

cause my God told me to.

Manipulation games

and broken promises from long ago

You put out the Lady's' flame

You'll reap what you sew

The children have to pay

Old men, and old women too 

they just get in the way

of the bombs I drop on you

I'm gonna hate you now

because you've always hated me

I'm gonna hate you now

For all the oil that I've bought

I'm gonna hate you now

Cause hate is all I've got

How will you return 

all the lives that you have wasted

watch the babies burn

Say this will keep us free

I wish you'd drink the blood

I wish that I could make you taste it

You've never understood
and you refuse to see
You turn your back on God and say
I'm gonna kill you now

because you are more wicked than I am

and I'm gonna kill you now

cause I don't agree with you

I'm gonna kill you now

cause Daddy's so proud and Mama's still crying

and I'm gonna kill you now

cause killings what I do

When will it ever end

You'd think you would have learned by now

what about you my friend

could you please tell me why

why can't he see the sin

of worshiping that fat cash cow 

just look at the mess we're in

You're killing for a lie


Details | Free verse | |

I Stay Silent

I fear it. 

I shake when his lips 

descend down my neck.

I tremble when his hands

travel down my blouse.

I fear it.


I hate it.

I blink away tears as his voice

moans and grunts down my ear.

I fight back the scream as his fingers

journey under my skirt.

I hate it.


He takes me,

eyes unseeing, he's unaware.

He uses me,

body tense, in this love affair.

He loves me.


I stay silent. 


Details | Free verse | |

Falling Dreams

* This was written for someone dear to me. *



Falling Dreams
     by Amy Swanson (c) 2007


Falling... falling...
    ... so much in my head...

is it even worth it
    to get out of bed?

Really not sure, can I face the day


But life goes on...

      life goes on.

             I'll find a way.


I can't explain exactly why it is I feel so blue
    but I would bet some money, it still has to do with you!

People go through harder things, and this I understand - 
    but my world's been turned upside down completely by a man.


I've been through this before
    should have recognized it when
          the problem started knocking at my door.


I hate this feeling... hate what you have done to us.

And you don't even care;
       No, you don't even care.


Destroyed my security
and made me doubt our unity -
true love is such a rarity.


And so it's left to me
patch the pieces of this life
Make believe I feel no pain...

            and go on as your wife.



But... my heart still feels fractured
         betrayed and torn

And in my dreams I will be

Falling...

falling...

falling.


Details | I do not know? | |

You Can't Predict Love

The first time I saw you, 
I got chills down my spine.
I thought nothing of it…
Now I realize I should have.
Maybe if I had, 
We’d still be friends, or maybe together.
I regret ever meeting you…
As rude as it sounds, it’s true.
For I found a true love,
 That turned out not so true!
It hurts too much to say, 
So I may only say this once,
I hate that I cant have you,
But I hate you because I love you.
When the first tear fell, I swore
You were nothing.
As the second fell, I swore
You were everything.
As I sit in my lonely room
With tears down my checks…
You’re all that runs threw my mind,
And all that will ever run threw my mind.
I never thought I could feel this way about anyone,
But I guess you can’t predict love!


Details | Free verse | |

Just like it for the feelings

Like it for the feelings
And like it for the words
Because you don't have to like it for the setting that its been put in
Don't hate my work because its what you've been trying to do for so long
And don't hate me because I can write it
Its the only thing I'm good at
Even though I try so hard to do something else
But this is the only thing that fits my personality
I may be joyful 
And I may be playful
But the one thing that I love to do is write all these for you
It can take me hours 
Even days at the most 
To think of something that you will like
And something that you'll love
But you still don't like the layout
So what I say is this
Just like it for the feelings
And just like it for the words
Because just like your things its a work of art that nobody should miss.  


Details | Rhyme | |

Can't let go

I dont know what to do,
all i know is that I love you,
and at many times I want to forget you.
The lies you tell are unforgivable,
but the joy you bring me is unbelievable.
I wish you would give me your heart,the way 
I gave you mine, and you did at one point in time.
I wish things could be the way they used to be,
when I loved you and you loved me.
We used to get along so well,but where we stand now,
I cant tell.
I hate that you make me feel this way,when I see you
I forget all that I planned to say.
I want to erase you out of my mind and keep you
in my heart,but im afraid if i do we will
eventualy part.
i'm scared to keep you around and even more scared 
to loose you.
I hope and pray that you will change because for you
my life I would gladly rearange.
All I want to know is how you truly feel,
when you tell me my heart will either
break or heal.So can you just seal the deal
and tell me how you truly feel,just keep it real.
I just want you around and 'till then i'll be
lost hoping to be found.
I'm so lost and so confused and I hate not knowing
what to do.You make me so happy and so blue.
Do I try to forget you or embrace you for you?


Details | I do not know? | |

Farewell

Farewell...Farewell...
I hate to leave you in this harsh state
Oh well...oh well... 

Goodbye...farewell...
I hate to desert you on our first date
Poor thing...poor thing...

Farewell...Farewell...
I hate to run off and lock the gate 
Farewell...Farewell...

The bell...The bell...
Rang. I begin to vacillate
Ta-ta! Farewell!


Details | Bio | |

I Hate Me!

I hate me because I'm ugly,

I hate me because I'm fat,

I hate me and I just can't look back,

I hate me for this and that,

I hate me because I'm alone,

I hate me and I can't go home,

Life is dull and people are puetrid,

I hate me because of me!


Details | I do not know? | |

Stress

I stress,
I feel less,
Of a person,
Everyday my life werson,
I hate this.

I want out,
I don't want want people to doubt,
That I'm nice,
My heart isn't as cold as ice,
I am kind.

I don't want to be Alone,
i want things to be known,
I want my old life back,
This one is wack,
I hate this.


Details | Rhyme | |

Goodbye

I hate this word
I'll tell you why
This word I hate 
Is the word goodbye

The truth is 
I must admit
I never get the 
Chance to say it

Especially people who 
Are important to me
They tend to leave
They seem to die you see

Three years ago my dad
Had to die
I never said thank you
Or the chance to say goodbye

Then last year mum visited
For two weeks she came to stay
One day in November
She too suddenly passed away

In February this year my wife
Said she can’t stand me I must leave
I was shocked, no sign of this coming
I was left numbed in disbelief

If I tell you the rest it will make you cry
However, from this now you know the reason why
I hate this word, the word goodbye


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled 2

And in my mind
And in my heart
I'm waitin' to fall apart

And I hate sex 
And I hate you
We're to close
just me and you

Roses, Coffee, and Cocain
It's okay

I'll yell at you
And I'll hit you 
Just love me
Just love me

Would you want me 
If i wanted you
to hurt me 
like i hurt you



Details | Lyric | |

Unnamed

(chorus)
I'll wait for all eternity
I'll wait here at the door
For you and I to be
Less is so much more
I'll stand here by your side
I'll stand straight and tall
With you I need not hide
With you I cannot fall

Take my hand
Together , here in this province,
we stand
We'll replenish our souls in its holy essence
The deeds of tomarrow 
Are the crimes of the past
The reeds in the corals
Are chimes at last

(chorus)
I'll wait for all eternity
I'll wait here at the door
For you and I to be
Less is so much more
I'll stand here by your side
I'll stand straight and tall
With you I need not hide
With you I cannot fall

I hate this,
Why cant you see
Beyond your oun selfishness
This is hurting me
I feel the wound tear 
It will never heal
I go through great dispair
I may never again be able to feel
You reopened a scar
Deep within me
You've only taken me so far
This was a short begining

(chorus)
I'll wait for all eternity
I'll wait here at the door
For you and I to be 
Less is so much more
I'll stand here by your side
I'll stand straight and tall
With you I need not hide
With you I cannot fall
(revert, 
the things that you say can hurt. 
Dont lie, 
the things that you do make me cry.)

(bridge)
The pain inside of me
Is taking all within
Its devastating
I know I cannot win
Against your need
For lonliness
I had waited 
Only to see
Your great blindess
Is only against me

(chorus)
I'll wait for all eternity
I'll wait here at the door
For you and I to be
Less is so much more
I'll stand here by your side
I'll stand straight and tall
With you I need not hide
With you I cannot fall
(revert,
the words that you say can hurt.
dont lie,
the things that you do make me cry.)

This is part of you and part of me.
Love and Life. Hate and Death.
This is who we'll always be.
And this is all that seems to be left.


Details | Free verse | |

I Don't Want To Hate Anymore

I don’t want to hate anymore
Don’t want to cry
Days go by and still I’m here
My pain has become my nightmares
I see the way it was
Good and bad
But I don’t think you loved me
My soul is packed in glass shards
Days go by and I’m still here
I want solace and peace of mind
I want to move forward
Not stand here looking back
Through tears
Days go by and still I’m here
What am I waiting for?
It can’t be you
Half a decade gone and past,
No it can’t be you
And still I hate
Every time I see evil
I see you
I smell you
I hate you
I want you gone
I want to disappear
But 
Days go by and I’m still here


Details | Bio | |

To many problems

It’s about that time that I grow up and see that my family is getting to out of hand.
My momma is acting crazier than she’s ever in her life.
Over a man, over the way she treats me and my sisters, to just all family 
problems.
She acts like she 7 years old, always going crying to somebody because things 
ain’t going her way.
To make it like me and my sister Tyesha is the bad guys.
I hate the fact that I have to sit and see it all go down, but what can I do.
I’m almost grown.
To many problems in my life, that needs to be fixed,
Or too many people are going to be hurt including me.
I hate my life right now, and that’s sad to say.
But with everything going on with me that how I felt for a long time now.
It looks like I’ll be leaving home in a little bit, but I don’t want to do that.
I’m still scared to be on my own in life, I don’t really know what to do.
Too many problems is making me have another nerves breakdown, I don’t have 
time for it.
I’m a senior now, and I need to do what I need to do and get out of here.
I have too many problems in my life that I hate to talk about but I need to.
So to all my problems please leave me alone, and let me be.
So I’m go start praying to God to help me though things that’s going to make me 
a better person.


Details | Alliteration | |

Daddy

for this girl of 6,
so lost and unfree,
her father abandon her,
"where are you daddy?"
scared to the flesh ,
she searches her home,
looks at the id,
no one called on the phone,
as she finally stops,
she gives into herself,
she knows hes gone,
nd left her in hell,
the tears fall down,
as she covers her eyes,
her face gets redder,
as she crys and crys,
"mommy is dead"
"lying on the floor"
"its all your fault daddy"
"i love you no more"
as she quietly shivers,
she remembers the past,
her mom was at home,
he shot her ass,
"whyd you do it daddy"
"whyd you shoot mommy"
"how could you do it",
"when you loved her softly"
so she went on her life
and remembered as she grew up,
"i hate you daddy"
"i hate your guts".


Details | Lyric | |

Never to be loved

This love could never be 
And you proved it to be so
The pain of love has just begun
The hate to love, the love to hate

The faith you brought
The hope I lost
This feeling of love has turned to hate
It matters not
For it will never change

I tried to love 
I tried to trust
It matters not
 For it’s too late

You tried 
And I tried 
But, it will never be the same

You showed me what I had
But, what I didn’t was to much

The passion I never had 
The passion I will never find
What does it matter?
The pain to great
The love so dim
And the hate so strong

Nothing to do 
But, love and hate


Details | Verse | |

Untitled

I know that people hate me
I know its okay to cry
But why do I feel like I want to die?

People trash me,
Throw me aside like garbadge
And make me cry.

I hate my life
It's the worst in the world
Oh father come home 
And save me from my life.


Details | I do not know? | |

Suicide

I wake up in the morning feeling sorrow clear as day
My family sees me moping but don’t know what to say
I walk around the house, waiting for a hint
But nothing came around, I’m looking for my end 

My friends don’t like me, although they do smile in my face
But as soon as I’m gone, they take back everything they say
They hate who I am, they hate where I come from
I hate being treated like I’m someone on the run

 My mom is crazy, well that’s what everyone says
They look and me and think, “oh, she’s as good as dead”
I want to prove them wrong, I want to show them different
But what if they’re right, and I’m just being a hypocrite

I stare at the sky, as if in a daze
But my family tells me that what I’m going through is just a faze
I want to believe them, I really do
But at this moment I just want it to be through 

I woke up one day and decided to end it all
I knew that all I had to do was take a really big fall
So I went outside and looked for some high places
But I couldn’t find a place that was good to my tastes

I then decided I wanted to die from my favorite place
So I climbed on the roof of my house and stood as straight as a lace
I looked at the sky and all I saw was blue
Standing there, I finally realized the truth

My life was in my hands and I could make it better
I knew no one could make me unhappy, not even locking me in a cellar
The sun was shining bright as I decided to go back down
I turned to go down the ladder without one trace of a frown

I took one step and then my foot slipped
As I fell I kept my hand, on my hip
My parents found my body, as they returned home 
They knew it would happen, everyone said my life was written in stone

As my funeral came and the days passed on by
Everyone thought that I had committed…
Suicide 















Details | I do not know? | |

Sometimes I Feel... ...

Sometimes i feel happy 
happy that i met you 
happy your my friend 

But happy doesnt always last 

Sometimes i feel sad 
sad you didnt listen 
sad you said i wasnt your friend 

But sad always changes 

Sometimes i feel agry 
angry because you didnt give me a chance 
angry because you lied about me 

But anger can change to hate 

Sometimes i fell i hate you 
because youe lie about me and slag me off 
sometimes i feel i hate you because you ALWAYS ruin my life


Details | I do not know? | |

Forever turning leaf

My parents are yelling, to and fro,
All I do is sit here and wait, for the next scream and shout
My world has torn apart, MY home, MY world
I don’t want any sympathy, cause then I would cry
So many tears, to think so many families go through this fate
I hate this cruel, bitter, twisted world, I hate bitter life
The only reason why I keep going is for my mother
The heart-broken woman, cries for her life back
My father storming out, denying any hate

All I have now is my music, my sweet lulling music
If only I could live and dream my music
The sweet pluck of a guitar and the soothing voice
It understands what I go through, the pain and the agony
I look at baby photos, and even though I remember the every day arguments
I look oblivious and see it as the every day life
Every part of my home will go, the house, lifestyle, the shouting,
The address, to my bedroom I will have to say goodbye
Imagine walking into your house after a normal school day
And walking out knowing your life will never be the same again

Never seeing your bedroom again, never sitting on your sofa again, 
Never walking along your road to the near by shops
Knowing that you can never return
Knowing that your life is not in your hands anymore
I hate the world, I cannot get who I love, lead the life I want
And never see my life again


Details | I do not know? | |

I Hate You

I hate you for what you've done to me
You have no clue but others see
You hurt me way down to my soul
My spirit is broken, I'm no longer whole
I go through the motions day after day
This is my life since you walked away
You never looked back you just moved on
One day you were here and the next you were gone
You caught me totally by surprise
You had nothing to say, not even good-bye
You've come between me and my family
I hate you for what you've done to me


Details | I do not know? | |

I should have listened to them

They were right!
I hate to admit it but it's true
They warned me not to get too close
They seaid I'd only get hurt
They were right!!

You just blank me in the street
Ignore my texts
i had to give you the chance
I was there for you 
But now you're chucking it back in my face

After everything I've done for you
Everything I've been through for you
I've lost frinds, family,
4 months of living hell
And for what may I ask?

So you can treat me like crap.
They warned me not to get too close
They said I would only get hurt
I hate to admit it but it's true
They were right!!


Details | I do not know? | |

I know now

i never knew one person could have so many emotions
 inside them at one time.
i never knew how easily hate could fill the empty void
 where love once thrived.
i never knew that lying got the world would make a difference.
i never knew that hurting me could help you.
i never knew that lovers make good fighters.
i never knew that the best of friends make the best of enemies.
i never knew that abstinence led to betrayal.
i never knew that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
i never knew that all our friends were just my friends, not yours.
i never knew how pathetic you were.
i never knew i just needed a stronger man.
i never knew i could be so unhappy.
i never knew how many hours it would take to build a tree house.
i never knew how quickly i could want to burn it down. 
i never knew how badly i could want to tear my bike to shreds.
i never knew how much i could want my house to fall to pieces because you 
helped build it.
i never knew that one man could destroy me so.
i never knew that the one man i loved was a s----y enough of a person to lie to me 
about something so serious.
i never knew that the one person who brought out the best in me would 
eventually bring out the worst.
i never knew that looking at pictures of happy times would make me so angry.
i never knew that watching my kitten sleep would one day make me cry.
i never knew that you could lie to my face and not feel guilty about tit.
i never knew how much i needed my friends.
i never knew that i could ever dislike 4-wheeler rides.
i never knew that i could hate going into the campers or the building for anything.
i never knew that i could eat a whole thing of ice cream by myself.
i never knew that i would cry myself to sleep several nights over a lie.
i never thought that i wouldn't be able to cars without crying, or ever come to a 
point where i actually didn't want to watch the Notebook.
i never knew that i could hate snow patrols "chasing cars" so much that it would 
make me cry.
i never knew that we could be apart for so long and yet your still ruining things for 
me.
i never knew that you could have the nerve to bug for a second chance.
       i'm not saying i regret it , because i don't.
                           It's just i know now.
                                       And there's no way in h---- i'm going back.


Details | I do not know? | |

Tears

Blood falls instead of tears,
I don't have many fears,
Only me,
And whatI see,
I see people die,
I see myself cry.

I want to kill,
And I will,
I want to smile,
I've waited along while,
I guess I'm depressed.

I hate your life,
I want to end it with a knife,
I can't be stopped,
My hate can't be dropped.

I want to find my way,
I want to say,
I've changed,
And that my life has rearranged.


Details | I do not know? | |

Failure

My life is failure 
I can’t deny it anymore
I hate my mom
I hate my dad
I hate my friends
I hate my enemies
And I hate myself
It’s not worth 
This life I lead
Pain and suffering
Filled with greed
Bottles of blood
Precious razor blades
Self help
And support groups
I’m going to hell
I don’t care anymore
I forgot what I’m looking for
My life is filled with
Pills, lighters,
Never forget 
The razors
The pain inside
Is almost unbearable
Another day
Another pill
Another night
Another thrill
Will I survive
Or will I kill
Blood gushing
Heart pounding
How long?
This is my failure


Details | Free verse | |

CIVAL WAR

CIVAL WAR
Men turned against men war fighting killing hate multiplying until Death ruled the 
hearts of men carried over into Cowboys days of fighting killing and hate ruling 
the hearts of men again taking hate to the new extreme of violence wins the 
hearts of men again have you shined your shoes today mon capitan
have you ruled the words you speak yet have you grabbed the weapons of 
destruction using them on the prisoners of Jesus is your coat a faded blue 
turned gray is your trousers striped with yellow for the coward still in you
moving horses without food the horses soon become the food of men the stink 
is wrong the meat does not keep men alive just bodies full of flies the war was 
over long ago the winner was the Satanic Host and no one has an answer or a 
prayer of cival war to come again the battle flag is raised and it is full of holes as 
men are turned against the men of war.


Details | Rhyme | |

Leave Me To Die

She left me there to die
My chest hurts, I'm empty
She ran off with my heart
Not the first time, I got plenty
I crawl back into your arms
For the first time in over a year
How did you love again?
There is so much that I fear
Its now 6am
I'm waiting for the world to wake
I've got to warn them all
And tell them what's at stake
I'm reaching for the moon
I'll be there someday soon

This love is ripping me, ripping me apart
Now hate is gripping me, gripping me, I start
To make my way to the fork in the road
And I dont know where to go

Find refuge at the bar
I'm drowning in sorrow
So long to sober days
There is no tomorrow
A stranger in my house
Who are you? What do you want from me?
Reflection in the mirror
Used to be me, my past haunts me
Just leave me alone
To the darkness of my room
My body turns to dust
Sweep me up with the broom
Just wasting in the bed
I wonder if I'm dead

This love is ripping me, ripping me apart
Now hate is gripping me, gripping me, I start
To make my way to the fork in the road
And I dont know where to go
I thought I was stronger, but lately I just cant take it
Oh noo, just leave me to die
If God says he needs me just tell Him that I cant make it
Don't save me, just leave me to die


Details | Lyric | |

Pain

I have all this pain when I hear your name
I cry when I think about all the happy times
I get mad every I think of what you did to me
To you, you did nothing wrong
But to me you hurt me more then you know
Yet I can't help but think it's all my fault
If I wouldn't have let you into my heart you would have never been able to break it
For all my regrets comes greatly deep pain
This pain I feel will never go away
You can tell me you’re sorry tell your blue in the face
But it won't make the pain go away
I try really hard to forget you
But I just can't 
I wish so badly that I could
For if I could forget you and every thing about you 
I wouldn't have to cry
And I would be as strong as I was before I met you
Almost Like I never knew you
This is how I wish it was 
But it's not
I am doomed to think about you and every thing you did to me
All the lies you ever told and all the hurtful words you've ever said
I would do anything to go back in time and make it so I never said yes to you
My only wish now is I wish I would have been able to see right through you like 
everyone else can
This pain you have caused will never leave my side
Nor will it leave my mind or heart
I would love to hate your name
But I can't
I love to hate the thought of love and every being truly happy
Maybe I just not meant to be happy
I wouldn't be surprised I hate the pain you caused 
But I can't do anything about it I love to hate you 
Yet I can't


Details | I do not know? | |

Promises

Promises
I hate promises
Because promises are said but never done,
Promises are things people say that they are sure to do but never do!
Promises to me are just things
people say to get you off their back!
I hate promises because promises
has been broken so many times
that I just can't stand to get my hopes
up high just to be broken to pieces.


Details | Free verse | |

Love me, Hate me (My Secret Sin)

Lovely as I love you
Shove me, but it’s as lovely as I love you
Lovely, hug me, shove me
But it’s as lovely as I love you
If I hate me, would you still hate me?
What if no longer from my image you could rate me
I just want you to hate me
That way when we bicker and fight 
At the end of the night, you may still be my wife
Climax is more depressing than Miramax
Send my hate this rose, send my love this fax
For life is based on facts
Murderers with a lovely axe
It’s true, it’s true, tomorrow it’s you
Just ask Peterson and OJ
It doesn’t really matter what some say
And some day in that forbidden casket I’ll lay
Beautiful is you
Next to your cuticles, what do I do?
Matter is everything
But for some reason matter is so much sadder
The tears after the laughter
This is my love poem, my passion
Maybe this time you will kick me above the groin
Why is our pastime something we mourn?
A sacred Identity is born
Tears of shame, responsibly worn
Maybe after tonight we’ll make up 
And you’ll lay your head in my arms
And allow me to sooth you with my selfish charms
I love you, you hate me 
Tomorrow I’ll hate you and you’ll love me


Details | I do not know? | |

Do You Ever

Have you ever just wanted to die?
Like you can't stop crying and you don't know why
Do you ever feel like all these problems won't go away?
And things just get worse everyday
Do you ever get sick of all this pain? 
When everything goes to sh$$ again
Do you ever feel like no one cares
Just when you really need them there

I hate living in such a judgmental world
I'm sick of being just another girl
Why won't all this sh$$ just go away?
I'm sick of barley making it through each day
I don't even feel alive anymore
Why am I always left by you at the door

Dont' you hate how someone can automatically change
And in an instant your whole life can be completely rearranged
Do you ever get sick of always waking up to a gloomy day?
When nothing seems to go your way
Do you ever feel like you're the only one who cares?
Or just because you're different everyone has to stare
Don't you hate when no one listens
But when they tell you let it out they all start b$t$his


Details | Rhyme | |

Hate

I hate the way you talk to me
I hate the way that you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
I hate it when you make me cry

I hate to be anywhere near to you 
And I hate it when you’re gone
I hate the way you make me blue
And I hate that I’m your pawn

I hate the way you read my mind
I hate your brand new hair
I hate that you make me blind
I hate that I even care

I hate that you never said goodbye
I hate to hear your voice
I hate it that you will still deny
I hate that I had no choice

I hate the memories in my head
I hate you through and through
I hate myself even more 
Because I can never hate you


Details | I do not know? | |

Hating love

I hate love, for love makes us hate,
I love hate, for hate makes us not love

If it were not for love
We would have no hate
If it were not for hate
We would have the love

Hate of greed, of jealousy, of possession
Stems from that of love
Love of that of care and passion
Soon does turn to hate

Love leads us astray from happiness
Hate leads us astray of love

If love were to go
We would feel no suffering
If hate were to go
We would feel no loving pain

Love and hate
And, hate and love
Are much the same to I
Yet love and hate
And, hate and love
Are two separate things alike


Details | I do not know? | |

Where I Stay

Broadway, so busy, keeps my dreams occupied

Self reflection and retrospect opens my mind to adventure

My listener will not be denied

Truth from heart and soul build genuine integrity

That’s why I speak my mind straight

Not tentative or allegedly

Broadway, where I stay, like a circus of confusion

A variety of Souls pass by my window

Mixed generations and cultures create an intriguing illusion

What a city to be dwindling in the wind

Take a close look around you

You’re surrounded by sin

That’s a pessimistic point of view, but it’s my admission

The environment in my eyes 

Is like a Crack Feign's nutrition

I find it hard to see the light at the other side

Nothing Positive about ignorant people

Because by their given standards they abide

Many souls walk the concrete without true self awareness

I see it so often, fools with hate inside them

Finding Solidified Minds is the rarest

I don’t hate others for what they’ve done to me personally

It’s what I’ve observed, permanent damage, done irreversibly

It’s a tragedy to see, but I keep my eyes wide

Follow the lighted side, Keep hope alive, and convince  Fate to be my bride


Details | I do not know? | |

Dark Cloud


As the pain rolls over my heart
Like a dark cloud of despair
Pouring drops of hate unto my soul

As the hate rises to drown me in
This ocean of desperation
I look for salvation and see nothing
But the cold blackness that surround me.

With not a flicker of hope to illuminate this dark and retched cloud
That hangs over my heart which consumes it with loneliness
For that is all that can be felt in the vast void of
This Dark Cloud of Despair

Jm12/29/2006



Details | I do not know? | |

Cruel Tricks

I love you because your wonderful, but I hate you for loving me too
I love you because you ask for nothing, but I hate you because you weren’t true
I love you because I’ve invested years of my life with you, but I hate you because now I feel stuck
I love you because you make me feel complete, but I hate you because of your bad luck
I love you because you’ve taught me about unconditional love, but I hate you because you’ve taken advantage of my heart
I love you because you make me feel sexy, but I hate you because of the tricks you’ve played from the start
I love you because I gave body, spirit, and soul, but I hate you because for some reason you can’t give me the same
I love you because of your greatness and the sparkle in your eye, but I hate you because for you this is simply just a game


Details | Sonnet | |

I Hate You

Is it a sin to say I hate you?
Even if this is how I feel?
Lack of remorse and empathy
Your reactions simply unreal

I was raised never to say this
With morals and values emplaced
But I cannot help to feel this
My life with you is such a total waste

I hate you more than anything
This feeling I cannot hide
You see it when I look at you
So foolish, tossing it to the side

I was raised to be better than this
And never to say hurtful things
A sin to me would be hiding
The hate inside and what it brings

So yes I definitely hate you
Everything little thing you portray
I hope you have a good back up plan
This trial is over, my life begins today

© Stacy Lynn Stiles


Details | I do not know? | |

LOST BOY

Lost in a haze of drunken hate 
Who knew it would make me contemplate?
Woke up in a white walled cage 
A half naked body decorated with wounds of frustrated rage 

Did not remember what I did that night 
So damn bitter sweet I came out all right 
Pain dripped from the cuts that bled 
But it kills me from the tears they shed 

Mutilated emotions and burnt words clot the cut ends 
Granted is what I took in exchange for my friends 
A state of no escape because all the bridges are black and chard 
I can not escape myself so freedom is something I just disregard 

It looks as if I am all alone again 
Burned another bridge and lost another friend 
Counted to much and held her to high 
Pushed to much thinking she could fly  

My friend fell down and I left her behind 
Denied I cared at all just to get her off my mind 
So now I am lost in a personal world of hate and rage 
A man walks freely but his mind is a locked cage


Details | Blank verse | |

Love me

Where were you when I was born daddy,
why did you leave me  all alone.
When I was in her belly,
did you leave her or were you there.

Mommy why must you go through this. 
Why cant you see this is hurting me.
I dont want to live like you,
mommy and daddy.

I hate that your always gone, daddy.
I hate that your always high, mommy.
Tell me why,
why you cant love me?


Details | Free verse | |

It's Over (My Secret Sin)

It’s over, It’s over
I hate it when it’s like this
But it’s over, It’s over
I hate it that it’s like this
But it’s over
My success is stress 
Whether I see forth fit 
My chance to exhibit a new exhibition
Pivoting a broken tradition
My pen and pad 
The only utensils to accompany me on this expedition
Put my life in words, day by day
Now in the verdict, you can feel my pain
Gave you tragedy after tragedy
Disaster after triumph, conceal my shame
I’m rushing this book, cause I’ve been sitting here
Coping and pasting material to paper
Scratching my head, when thoughts vanish like vapor
To withstand my span with writing
I put it together like thunder and lightning
Worrying faces, plea bargain hurrying cases 
Walking down Forsyth
Got me desperate for that life “Like”
Lost tears as they bury your peers
Another freeway accident
Times like those
We see our seat belts and attempt to fasten it
Shed the possibility
Of becoming dead by not accepting reality
I hate it when it’s like this
But it’s over, it’s over
I hate it when it’s like this 
But it’s over, it’s over


Details | Free verse | |

Tears, Precious Gems

I can’t explain why I felt what I felt, 
At that very moment in time.
What made my heart crackle, shatter, and break.
Why in that instant I felt utterly and completely consumed with sadness,
There is no logical reasoning for letting something so small, 
Hurt me in such a huge, and profound way.
I hate you for making me feel that way,
I hate myself more for letting you make me feel that way.
Hate that I still can feel sadness because of you, 
As if you haven’t hurt me enough before, 
You still hurt me after, without even knowing it.
Without me even realizing it will hurt me.

Oh, what bliss I could feel if I could just let it stop hurting me,
If I could only shut that door in my heart, 
And leave it locked, throw away the key.
There is no reason for anyone to be in there,
No good reason the door should ever be unlocked.
If only my brain could do what is right for my heart and shut it out.
Take over the heart, make it stop feeling,
Make it stop double beating when there is excitement,
Make it stop bleeding with pain,
Agonizing pain, stop.
Stop now.

Give me strength to leave it behind, 
Give me strength to shut the door,
Give me strength to keep it locked.

A tear won’t be shed for you,
The only tears that shall fall from these broken tired eyes, 
Shall be the tears of happiness for someone deserving of those tears.
Someone grateful enough they would bottle them up and cherish them forever.
Like a precious gem.
My tears are precious gems.
Hard to get, 
Unforgettable,
And almost always deserving.

Not for you.
You are not deserving of my tears, 
Nor any part of my heart.


Details | I do not know? | |

But Still She's Gone

Another instance of my intuition tingling
One more night spent mingling 
With thoughts of she’s gone
Another debate with what I should’ve done
One more poem one more card one more call
One more something to recapture that fall
Remind her that she loves me
But I can’t tempt fate its not about me

I love you too much to hate you
So I hate myself instead
Take breaths but my heart still
Left living in the world of the dead
My face void of fury
Condemned by your jury
To fly in Hades starless morning sky

The ache waters my soul’s fire
Pisses on the walls of my desire
This free bird yearns to be caged
Trapped in bars of aged-less
Splendour, no more smiles to render 
Me helpless

Hopeless victim of crimes so dark
Bright sparks to sand 
Soul crushed paper in hand 
Knocked off my feet 
But still I stand
Tall, no longer a fall-en dove
Soaring high in hell above

But still she's gone...


Details | I do not know? | |

Hate

The hate in my heart is all I can feel.
Deep down in the bottom of my soul, killing me.
I can't run, can't hide,
Can't stop the pain, it won't subside.
So I sit with the hate that has taken me.
Wondering why He has forsaken me.


Details | ABC | |

sadness

now im wishing i was dead i have no point in living  i only
make you sad why do i have to be this way  you say thier is
nothing rong  but i  know  thier is i made you hate me for every
thing i did  so good bye  ill leave because i cant live knowing you hate me
how can i live knowing that your sad you tried to hard to make me happy
but all i could do is get mad at you for no reason well now  
you hate me  thats my fault i guess i should leave befor
i hurt anyone else..this was all my falut all you were trying to 
do was be a good boyfriend while i was out being stupid and 
imture i guess its my time to say im sorry for every thing i did
and now im  wishing i never met you because you were more 
happy that way you cant tell me you weren't because your what you
say can prove it if i were you i would hate me too because  knowing what
i do every day how do you wake up happy when you know its gonna end...


Details | Bio | |

A Life of Mines Part 1

Some people say life is short,
life is full of it, I hate life,
I hate my life, I hate the world Im in,
I don't like what Im going through, 
and so on and so on.
Well some people just sit down and whine
and complain. Its not really worth it.
Some people are truly blessed that they
ain't just been through it all.
Well for me I go through it all everyday.
Well not everyday, but what my life be 
bringing to me. 

Have u ever felt the lust and the pain
Have your life ever felt 
as if it was unfold in hell?
Well all we do is complain.
But who are you to complain if 
you ain't mostly went through it all.
I been through the broken glass
I was forced to give up something
that was very important to me in life
The part of life that is the best thing 
that everyone is proud about
The part that you know for sure that you
are when you come into this world.
Well for me Im glad that God was with me
but through it all I found that 
I can trust no man
cause my only man is God.
A Life of Mines

This boy held me down
and try to take what was something
that was very important to me
I cried to myself for days
Wondering if this will ever be over
But one thing I know
It truly woke me
All his jealousy
I couldn't have certain friends
I couldn't do the things I wanted to do
It felt like I been locked up
locked up in his world
What he has done to me
It hasn't left my life yet
A Life of Mines
 
He is the one who says he loves me and mean it
He is not a liar or cheater.
He is my healer.
He raise me up when Im down
When Im up 
he continue to keep me that way
Unless I let other things get the best of me
Have you just let your hand just reach out
to the one you truly can depend on
No not really cause a friend is not a friend
A family is not always a friend
Betrayal in this world 
got it bad
Its sad how we reach out
and point fingers at each other
because what I see in this eye
Is something I hope you can relate to
A Life of Mines


Details | I do not know? | |

10 Things I Hate About You

  1. I hate the way you stayed away, and you never even called.
   2. I hate the way you let me vent, without putting up a fight at all.
   3. I hate the way you through up your hands and just walked away.
   4. I hate the way you moved on so quickly and made me feel astray.
   5. I hate the way that it effected me and that I didn't know how to let go.
   6. I hate the way that life seemed to move so fast and that I was still moving so 
slow.
   7. I hate the way you always seem to forgive me no matter what I do.
   8. I hate the way you make me want to be more like you.
   9. I hate the way you reminded me what it felt like to be a kid.
   10. The fact is that I don't hate you and I never really did.


Details | Romanticism | |

Another Sleepless Night

Another sleepless night
spent thinking about you
Another night wasted wishing things could change
I hate the way I can’t forget,
the way things stay on my mind
I hate it that I loved you
a feeling you couldn’t give me in return
I hate it that you were perfect
and when I was with you I actually felt accepted
I’m laying here wide awake
haunted by memories of you
memories I can’t seem to shake
I’m laying here wide awake
haunted by your smile
Somberly remembering how you made life worthwhile


Details | Lyric | |

Fall '05

Digging through the trash I find inside myself,
discovering more and more things to hate.
I hate the way I give and give,
letting others use my generosity.
I hate the way I’m always too blind to see,
that so many are just using me.
I hate the way I let my friends go.
There is so much I wish I could let them know.
Like how much I love them,
how much they mean,
everything they’ve done for me.
I hate how I can never open up to others in reality,
but in this cyberworld, my mind and heart are on display.
I hate how when I finally try,
I stumble over myself,
growing even shyer.
I hate how when I say what I mean,
others don’t mean what they say.
I hate how I can’t change who I have become,
how the life in me just feels like letting go.
I hate how I see no hope,
how I see no love.
I hate how I find myself doubting an existence above.
I hate the way I keep just wasting away,
fretting over an inability to find a new love.
I hate that I feel.
I hate that I want to love and be loved.
I hate how I apologize for finally speaking my mind,
for finally standing up for myself.
I hate how I keep regressing into depression,
how I never seem to find a way out.
I hate how I hate myself,
and I hate how I am afraid it may never change.
I hate how I fear everything will be exactly the same.


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Expression

A big peice of my life
Seems to be missing...
After losing you after all this time
My thoughts seem to be racing...
But now that you're mad at me
What can... I do... to make it better?
I will go beyond my abilities
Just to make you smile
But remember that I'm only human
I can't do every single thing you want of me
If you choose to hate me
Then all I can say is sorry
If you want... to forget...everything
Then I shall leave you forever
I don't want to exist around you
If you say... I don't exist at all!

I cannot say sorry enough for you
And I don't want to say it again!
Because everything I do seems to be wrong
Because everyone seems to be yelling at me!

Waking up every morning
Seems to be killing me
Grabbing what's left of my broken heart
I pray to let me die quickly
Because I seem to be suffering
And I... don't want... to suffer anymore!
Only you can end it for me
In two ways
First way is to hate me
Hate me completely and forget about me
The second way is to love me
But I don't want it to be false you see
If I were to tell the truth about how I feel about you
Then love is definately my answer
But then I don't know if I can love again!

I cannot say sorry enough for you
And I don't want to say it again!
Because everything I do seems to be wrong
Because everyone seems to be yelling at me!
I'm tired of being wrong
And I'm tired of saying sorry!
From now on I'm forever cold-hearted
Because I'm too scared of loving again!
But I'll leave saying "I love you..."


Details | Free verse | |

They all think they're awesome.

From what I am, i have become, or what i vaugely think.  
so sing my song to play along with the team who thinks i stink.  

i cant become, not even more, than what i have today.  
to see my grades, to write a song, my self-esteem is gay.  

 i think too shallow i think too deep, and, for reasons i dont know.  
i seem use my intelligence to stay out of the flow.  

all the emos with swoopy hitler hair, 
and i see the preppy girlies, not eating, because they dont care?  

straight hair is the sexyest, writing on your arms.  
make sure we know you have friends, or we will raise alarm!  

gay is this gay is that, f---ing this and f---ing that!  
oh em gee, oh aybayaby, it all makes me want to hack.  

myspace me, no text me b-tch! i dont want to hear your voice!  
i met this guy online, and being safe was not my choice.  

i hate to face the fact, that we're really all the same.  
and our stylish tactics and der-der humor is actually kind of lame.  

i dont want applause, i dont want to lecture.  
im just sick of dealing with all the gosh darn pressure!  

i hate trying to be different in a individuality shunting world.  
i hate trying to make friends with all these indistinguishable girls.  

they all insist their different,  "oh i swear i know im unique!"  
well from lookin at ya honey, id say get a new technique.

comforming assholes.


Details | I do not know? | |

TO:HIM

I CAN'T SAY I'M A VIRGEN ANYMORE,BECAUSE HE TOOK IT AWAY. I COULDN'T 
SAY NO , BECAUSE I WANTED TO KNOW MORE. I DIDN'T WANT IT TO 
HAPPEN ,BUT HE SAID IT BE OKAY.HE MADE ME FEEL SECURE, AND 
THOUGHT HE NEVER LEAVE RIGHT AWAY.WELL I WAZ ONE BIG FOOL TO 
BELEIVE WHAT A GUY SAY, AND IT WASN'T HIS WORDS, CUZ EYEZ AND 
ACTIONS, JUST SIMPLY HAD MORE TO SAY.WELL SHE'S TOLD ME HIS LIE, 
SHE'S OPEN MY EYEZ. ALL I COULD DO WAZ LAY IN BED THREE NIGHTS AND 
CRY ANDCRY.I WANTED TO HATE HIM,CUZ HE'S PLAYED A GAME. I WANTED 
TO STAB HIM ,AND MAKE HIM FEEL THIS PAIN.HE LIED FROM THE VERY 
START , AND ONLY WANTED TO GET INTO MY TIGHT SPOT.HE TOOK MY 
VIRGINITY ALL WITHIN HIS LIES.BUT I DON'T HATE HIM , INFACT I GIVE HIM 
PROP'S. HE KNEW HIS GAME , HE KNEW JUST WHAT TO SAY.AND NEVER 
WOULD OF KNOWN,CUZ HE MADE ME FEEL IN A WAY.WOULDN'T HAVE 
GUESS HE USED ME FOR A BONE, UNTILTHAT MORNING SHE CALLED 
ME,AND NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN.


Details | Free verse | |

Asylum

The Asylum of her mind
is a dark and twisted thing.
Full of hate and pain
no one understands it.
It's gates are the strongest,
nothing can get past them.
Reinforced with steel,
lined with rock, sorrow, and rage.
Hate and pain are the padding in her room,
Where she sits oh, so patiently.
Mummering to herself so peacefully.
Her father comes to see her.
She see's his face 
and her eyes begin to blaze.
Hate flares, and she begins to scream hate filled things.
I tried to tell you she yells.
I tried to warn you.
But you just wouldn't listen.
I told you something was wrong.
Now look at me.
Look at me in my Asylum.


Details | I do not know? | |

Hope for love

Don't you recognize these things that fall down the side of my face,
I wish you could feel the pain I feel inside.
My heart that is crushed and the pressure on my chest,
feelings of suffercation when I'm unable to catch up with my cries.
trying to cry silently laying beside you in bed
trying to avoid another fight if caught with tears in my eyes
tired of heart aches each night
the words of hate you scream at me 
yet the words you preach
live and die by the book is how we should live our life
love, honor and obey
to obey
your favorite verse to preach
every order given I must do
why do I wrap my life around you
How could I hate you so much yet love you much more
All the tears I shed are never enough
what will become of me 
scared dumb lonely how do you explain the foolishness inside me


Details | I do not know? | |

Forever in School

Take me home,
Where I don't have to be alone,
I don't want to go to school,
I wanna stay home and act like a fool,
I hate that place,
I hate it when people look at my face,
Please don't make me go,
My day goes by so slow,
I'm not shy,
But all those people do is lie,
But something that makes me frown,
Is the teachers bringing me down,
I don't want to eat,
Cause it tastes like nasty feet,
Everyone loves to try,
And make me hurt inside,
Put little food and little rest together,
And find out I may be depressed forever!


Details | I do not know? | |

Confused Hate

I hate the way you are.
I hate the way I met you.
I hate the way I never did.
I hate the things I am saying.
Because I like the way you smile and smirk.
I like your never ending funniness.
I hate the way I hate you.
I hate the way I like you.
I hate the way this isn't making sense.
well, I like you and I hate you for that.


Details | I do not know? | |

Loving

Loving
Will the pain ever stop? 
Probably not, although I wish it would. 
Why me? 
Of all people this had to happen to. 
Why to the one who did not deserve it. 
Or did I? Maybe I did. Maybe not. 
Who knows? I don't. 
I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. 
Of rejection. 
The pain I have in my heart, I can not hide. 
It is something that shows no matter what. 
It glows as bright as a star, If not brighter. 
Why does stuff like this always happen to me? 
Am I evil, Yes, No? 
But still I hate my life, I hate myself. 
I even hate him. I know I shouldn't. 
Even though I hate him, I love him with all my heart.


Details | I do not know? | |

Farewell Goodbye

So much anger and rage
Engulfs my body whole
Can’t release the tension and fury
How was I ever to know?

No tools provided to diminish
A path of vile and vain 
Here I bask in my own misery
As you continue to be sane

I hate the very sight of you
And your precious mental state
I hate all your ambition and drive
While I struggle against this fate

Let’s trade places today
So you can pretend to be me
I wonder how long you’ll last
When you’re finally able to see

See the anger, madness and rage
Through your very own eyes
I wonder how much ambition you’ll have
As you plan your final farewell goodbye 


© Stacy Lynn Stiles


Details | Lyric | |

Nature of a Lie

Written in a hidden ink
The lies you write begin to sink
The flesh can hold no second vow
As the thing you hate becomes you now

Place of pain and dying eyes
Within yourself, within your cries
Reflected onto those you see
And now the surface is all that can be

You are the proof of how to fall
The nature of a lie so tall
Accept the truth, accept the signs
If you don’t you’ll only die

Stand or fade, it’s up to you
The choice is there and so is truth
Just because they’ve fallen too
That’s no excuse to follow through

Written in a hidden ink
The sounds you use begin to sink
Then death reflects your hidden face
As the thing you hate becomes your grace


Details | I do not know? | |

Dead

When should I awake?
But when should I get some sleep?
Within my mind I’ll make
Contortions of my excuse
When should I resist?
My hatred likes to breathe
Why do I assist?
Been dying for far too long

Here it comes and here I go to hate myself
Breathing nothing, killing something with its help
Writing these things, justifying my own wealth
I’m just dead and nothing now can give me health

But now everything is fine
I’ve found another way
I let this thing reside
I make another day
There’s laughter all around
Usually from my mind
I feel that there’s no sound
And I am just dead and blind

So here it comes and here I go to hate myself
Breathing nothing, killing something with its help
Writing these things, justifying my own wealth
I’m just dead and nothing now can give me health
I learnt too much to take in everything you’ve lied
In death I see myself and it’s here I thrive
Lie to me and tear me down before I’m alive
I’ll love you for all you try

Just tear away my face
Never let me hide
In this cornered place
I smile deep inside
I am not really here
Nor can I cry in pain
I’ll let you beat my fear
If you can really see my game

I’ll turn to something that ends in nothing just to breathe again
I’ll become you to let you think I’m listening
But solitude and dying off is what I’m still craving
There never was such a thing as sane
Life is just another game
Selfless only means for fame
Desiring love to make life stay the same
The rest is just to entertain


Details | I do not know? | |

MoM

Why do you hate me?
think about when you used to bath me,
i have always had only one Wish for you,
a wish for you to love me,
but that one wish never came true,
every day you make me feel blue,
my life seems empty because of you,
But mom your the one who made me, and why this way,
if only i could of paid you to love me,
i would of but that would'nt of been right,
Why'd you have to be so mean to me,
i wish that i just woke up,
and this was all a dream,
mom i know you hate me, 
wanted only one girl and had two,
but thats to bad for me,
because the really sad part of this life,
is that ""you'll always be my MOM!""


Details | I do not know? | |

Following Dreams

Lifestyle is what you make
Not what they have told you
A lifestyle within their wake
You follow what they do

A lifestyle of soul retort
The dreams of their empathy
Lifestyle of what you bought
The mind is the enemy

Afraid now of what you think
Ignore it like they do
Pray now that there’s a link
Pray now you’re normal

Ash and dreams will cover all
There’s no way you’ll die now
This very second you could fall
But you’re too caught in your lies

Follow all the gatherings
Safety now in numbers
You’ve no clue of the hate you bring
You’re too lost and bitter

It seems their dreams had tricked your mind
You’re ageing and you’re wasted
As long as you believe you stood their line
As long as there’s some life you tasted

God came
He showed me why
It seems that he is in me
I know now I must please him
White came
Am I in a dream?
Turns out that I’m in limbo
It’s a test of what I make it

Hate rules and takes our souls
But I know I must grow stronger
If I resist and see my goal
This hate will rule no longer
Within my mind I see the key
My dream is what I make it
I’ll make it turn so I can see
A world where dreams are happy


Details | Free verse | |

My Loving Hate

My loving hate,
says goodbye god,
I know longer love life,
and I've never loved you,
I seek refuge in hell,
only to say I'm sorry,
it's the only reason i'm praying,
for the first time in years,
I say a finale farewell,
to my dearest enamy,
my loving hate,
I wish you farewell,
I hate to see you happy,
but you never cared about me,
so I'm leaving you now,
goodbye god,
I hate you with all my heart,
though I feel unsure,
I hope hell is okay,
I'm sleeping there at night,
i'm leaving now,
I'm out of heaven's sight,
so goodbye god,
my love,
my hate,
the girl you used to hate is dead,
only I now remain,
so goodbye,
and hope I rot in peace.


Details | I do not know? | |

Childhood

My childhood was good
but it could've been better
I went through a lot, 
and even wrote CPS a letter
My childhood didn't really last 
at age thirteen I was put in foster care, 
so I grew up fast
My childhood was great 
until one bad day
when CPS came, 
and took us all away
My childhood became nothing but pain, 
and six years later I'm still waiting 
to see my younger siblings again
Everything was fine, 
and they should have left us alone, 
but instead we were all separated,
and all living in a different home
You learn new things 
when you have to grow up fast
especially when you realize 
your childhood doesn't last 
I hate CPS, 
and what they have done
By age fifteen, I was as mature as a twenty year old, 
but I still wanted to be that little girl, and I couldn't, 
so I was told 
If I could go back and make things different I would
just so I could replace time, and things lost, or do things I couldn't, 
or wasn't able to do in my childhood
Now I'm twenty, 
and everyday I look back, 
and it hurts inside 
that CPS had to come and attack
Things would be so different 
I know they would 
if my childhood would've went on 
like it should 
Instead it was ruined, 
and taken from me 
I hate you CPS with a deep passion, 
because memories of my childhood will never let me be, 
I know all your lies, 
and you all never told the truth
All for the money, 
but God will take care of it all real soon
Ya'll took something from me CPS
that I can never have back, 
and that is my childhood
I will cut no slack. 
My childhood was great until CPS came along 
moving me from place to place 
where I didn't belong
So CPS, what do you have to say
I lost my childhood, 
because yall wanted some pay
God will get you one at a time 
the things you all did 
was just crime after crime
I don't have to say my name
you all know it very well. 
Remember I was the "little girl" 
who gave hell, 
and since you  took my childhood from me, 
I have grown to be a very smart young lady, 
and you all will see
My mom and I are ready 
we're not scared at all, 
and when the truth comes out
you CPS will be the first to fall. 
Thanks for taking my childhood, 
and I hope you all are proud, 
and soon higher authorities will be reading my poem 
very clear, and very loud
Everyone will know the truth, 
and it will all come to an end, 
and I pray everyday that CPS won't be able to take away 
another childhood again! 


Details | I do not know? | |

My Dad

I know what has happened to me
Deep inside my past
But I don't regret the things
That have been done to me
Because it made me who I am
I know it took sometime for me
To believe in myself
But I hate what he's done to me
And my family he killed
I hate him and I will never forgive him
For what he has done
But I know deep inside of me
I would like to see him burn
I hate him I really truly do
I just hope he's hurt know one
And no one will hurt him
The way that he's hurt me and you


Details | I do not know? | |

Truth

Sometimes my bleeding brings an answer
Sometimes I will never have to grieve
My mind is still formulating questions
Whilst flames remember what I see

Some things never have to hurt me
Someone will never have to lie
But then I remember why I whisper
Locked inside my room, why can’t I die?

Once more I paint another ending
Once I remember what I am
My lies can never let me smile
But truth will never help me stand

Sometimes I never had to hate you
Sometimes I really think I tried
My hate is still retaining distance
But I’m cold and I still have to cry

Somehow I recall an answer
Someone stole it from my dreams
But then I look into the mirror
Locked inside my room, nothing but screams

Once more I write another question
Once I remember who I am
The lies that spin another answer
This truth is all I ever had