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Sad Father Poems | Sad Poems About Father

These Sad Father poems are examples of Sad poems about Father. These are the best examples of Sad Father poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

GRANDPA

*GRANDMA WAITS IN THE GARDEN*

Hi grandpa it's me again!
Your dentures sit in an open glass
Do you remember the tears grandma sang before she passed?
The way she looked into your eyes, 
Moments before she said her goodbyes
Grandpa, I found a note from grandma, she doesn't want you to cry.

Hi grandpa, it’s me again!
The rocking chair is old and dusty
Do you remember the way grandma sat me on her lap?
Read many stories before I took a nap
How she enjoyed brushing my hair with her hands
Love the way she rocked me to sleep every night until I grew. 

Hello grandpa!
I stored your hearing aid away
Do you remember that special musical box in grandma's drawer? 
I opened it last night, to watch the ballerina dance
I wish you could hear the tiny chimes grandma lived in
I hope you don’t mind, I’m keeping grandmothers favorite scarf.

Hello Grandpa!
I'm caressing grandma’s picture frame
Do you like the way she looked in that pretty sundress?
Grandpa, I miss the things grandmother did for you
I like the walking stick she handcrafted, the day your needed support
It kept you in balance every time we took long hikes in the woods.

Hello grandpa, it's me again! 
Here I sit holding your hand
I have no more tears
Soon you will see grandma
Please tell her hi, and I know you will be there the day I die
Bye, grandpa
Give grandma a kiss, and tell her I miss her

By; PD


Details | Rhyme | |

Suicide Mind

What makes the decision
To flick the switch
To end ones life
For the sake of it
 
Troubled, debts
Bullied at school
Fork in the road
To let death rule
 
Mums, dads
Daughters and sons
What ever affects them 
They just can't outrun
 
Sadness and tears
By all left behind
Will they ever understand
Suicide Mind


Details | I do not know? | |

Today Tomorrow Forever

                                 This day has come
                                 The day I've dreaded
                                 Dad I wish I could be
                                 in your arms once again,
                                  But I can only sit here
                                   and think of you instead,
                                I think of all memories
                                 we've once shared
                               I remember all your laughter
                                your love and your care,
                               when I needed someone you 
                              were always there,
                             But know my life is full of 
                             Emptiness and despair
                            Oh dear Dad you've been
                             gone almost a year
                             Still this pain is so severe
                            My heart is drowning in all
                              these tears
                          Consumed with all these
                           Rage and Fears,
                            wishing this was all
                              a horrid nightmare,
                         Your truly gone this I know,
                         I just want to tell you that
                         I still love you so, and I'll
                         hold on to your memories
                         I'll never let go,
                        For you were my Hero
                         You were my Dad,
                       you were one of my best friends
                       That a daughter could of ever 
                              had,
                        Now I know you're up there
                        and watching over me
                        with your beautiful spirit 
                        soaring so free,
                       I can feel your presence
                       always surrounding me
                      I just want you to remember 
                             Dad
                    That you'll always be
                    Today, Tomorrow, Forever
                    A Cherished part of 
                                             ME.....
 
                                             I STILL LOVE YOU DAD....HAPPY FATHERS DAY 


Details | I do not know? | |

Questions for Dad

How do you do it...
   arrested again.
Paroled for awhile
   then back to the pen.
We know you don't mean it.
   We know that you care.
But when will you show it?
   When and where?
As much as we love you
   our hate runs that strong.
Why can't you stay with us?
   What are we doing wrong?
Are your friends to blame?
   Did they help cause this bust?
What should we feel?
   Who do we trust?
Who do we love?
    Who should we hate?
Why do you burden us
    with all your stuff
       on our plate?
It's too much to handle,
     we're too young to deal.
With the heartache we have,
     with the pain that we feel.

Your our Daddy, our idol,
     our mentor for sure.
Our anger, our hope,
     we need you here more.
Your smile, our tears
     your our happiness found.
Our twinkle, our fears,
     the reason we frown.
You want us to love you
     you want us to care
But Daddy, how can we...
     when your never there!


Details | I do not know? | |

how do I say good-bye?

I walk in the house you made a home.
Now, it's only a house again.
I try to picture you there, but
it's only a dream within me.
What laughter there was
died years ago,
when God closed your eyes
and took your soul.
Deep inside
I know you're free,
but pity takes over.
You've left me.
How do I get passed
the void you've left ?
When in my heart
your memories are kept.
How do I move on
without leaving you behind?
How do I keep you in my heart
and not constantly on my mind?
When does the darkness go into the light?
When will the grass be green and
the sun be bright?
When will I look at your pictures
and just smile at what we had,
instead of crying
for the loss of my dad?
Will this grieving stop
someday soon?
Perhaps, if there's really 
a man in the moon


Details | I do not know? | |

Listen to Her Cry

How can you not understand?
How much I need you in my life.
If only you could be my friend
And listen to me when I cry.
A girl needs her father’s love
To be willingly; not forced.
When she trembles inside out
She really needs to hear your voice.
Not only setting certain rules.
Or telling her what not to do
But also in a quiet time.
Just telling her she’s really fine.
Don’t talk to her about mistakes.
She won’t forget them anyway.
Just tell her it’ll be okay
And listen to her when she cries.
She really needs her dad tonight
To be at home; to hold her tight.


Details | Blank verse | |

A Brief Childhood

In the back of my head, in the garden shed,
I see him as clearly as fresh white paint:
A little boy sat on the creosote floor, 
Dragged grazed knees hugged up to his chin, 
So familiar, so resonant and never faint. 
He shivers and weeps on the wooden ground, 
Alone, almost silent, with hardly a sound, 
In retreat from a world he cannot understand 
That Is ruled and defined by a callused hand.

It's his seventh birthday and a slowing flood 
Of mucus and blood flows from swollen lips, 
A tooth bares a nerve and a jagged chip, 
But the pain means no more than dandelion clocks 
Or cuckoo spit; the act alone the gestalt of it.

Some days he would walk for miles, 
To see beyond the next hill, around the bend, 
Kicking slowly along, his shadow twice his size, 
Dwarfing him, tracking him, a passive friend. 
Perhaps to find some haven, someone to 
Take him in, rescue his heart, and want him;
But strangers, though kindly, approached 
With the dusk and it always ended the same way:
"Where do you live?" they would say
And thoroughly drilled, he would quietly reply,
In emotion drained monotone,
His address and number of the telephone,
And they always took him back home.

Some days he would walk for miles,
To sit on the edge of the viaduct, 
Perched perilously with nothing to lose, 
Dangling feet in small scuffed shoes, 
Dropping pebbles and stones to the 
Rocks and undergrowth far, far below, 
Imagining if he may fall in their stead, 
What then would be left to know?

The fall down the stairs snapped his ankle
Like a spindly twig, fractured some ribs,
Dislocated his jaw.
The children's ward, antiseptic and bright,
Young nurses in uniform, starched and white
Were so kind to him, he almost cried, bringing concern
And orange squash and a paper straw.

Sometimes it’s like this when things go wrong, 
A scapegoat is needed to blame things on. 
People thought him shy, with head bowed low, 
Lost in comics and books, lost in himself, 
Denying the threat of another blow. 
He was not shy, just hiding and biding, 
Keeping his head down and trying not to show.

Life is a scoundrel, and time a cohort thief, 
Stealing a childhood with no reprieve, 
Leaving only the slow burning sense of relief, 
That an unpleasant childhood seemed mercifully brief.


Details | Free verse | |

Do You Hear Me?

do you hear me
when I cry out
in the middle of the night?
do you hear me
when I grieve for
a brilliant light gone out?
do you feel me
when I long for your love
though your heart has gone still?
do you see me
kneeling by your grave
unable to pray?
do you still believe in me
where ever you've gone
and I'm here alone?
do you see me
gasping for breathe
since the moment you left?


Details | Marsiya | |

I'm my Daddy Made Over

Dedicated to my Dad Jerry W. Niday 3/20/1952 - 6/18/2013


I am who I am because of him
He’s the reason for my son’s name
He gave me my courage & my strength
To stand tall even when standing wasn’t easy
Stand for the ones who can’t
To think and fend for myself
I’m my Daddy made over

Taught me to fight back 
To never back down
How to pick myself back up
When I’ve been knocked down
Fight for what I believe
I’m my Daddy made over

He gave me my stubbornness 
Gave me my pride
Gave me my temper
Taught me not to take crap
To speak my mind no matter who
Work for what I want
I’m my Daddy made over

How to keep my emotions in check
How to handle large amounts of pain
When in trouble he always had my back
He knew how my mind worked better than anyone
I got it from him
I’m my Daddy made over

Even though he’s gone
I’ll stand and continue on 
I may stumble I may fall 
May even get hurt along the way
But I’ll pick myself back up
I’ll dust myself off and stand tall
I’m honored and proud to say
I’m my Daddy made over


Sabrina Niday Hansel



Details | Dramatic monologue | |

To the Boy Who Could Not Sleep

You cannot sleep, you tell me
spitting forth frustration
angry sentiments of a scorned heart
Your dreams are robbed
You have been ridiculed 
all day 
in a world where 
You don’t quite understand the rules
every word you spoke today was the wrong one
You crossed lines unknowingly
doors were shut in your face doors
of opportunity
fame
Your love and passion 
which you felt was real
was mocked—
so you cannot put away such thoughts
You come to me frowning, heated
seeking sympathy
But son,
you are young
you know not what ropes 
truly bind the soul
what thoughts throttle the heart
in the darkness of night
you have been betrayed, deceived
by strangers amongst whom 
you sought fortune and acknowledgement
but this, I tell you
is no shame, no grief
you have not felt the cuts 
of those you thought dearest
those you thought you knew 
that hair those lips those eyes that heart
now coloring and darting away
leaving icy holes
in your chest
you know not yet 
that the curse of a sleepless night 
does not burn with anger
it is cold, so cold
and so lonely
So say not another word now
and go
Go
you may sleep in peace
for you are not a father.


Details | Elegy | |

I Need Your Help Daddy

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here

I can’t get back in control of my emotions 
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy

I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help 

Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance 
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help







Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Rhyme | |

Alcoholic's Suicide

He sits there with a beer in his hand…
With residue from his last line on his nose.
No lights on in the house,
Because he’s always home alone.

To drunk to get up he urinates on himself.
But he can still get another beer.
He sits down and starts to cry.
He wonders why his family isn’t here.

He’s hung up on the past.
Things that could have been…
But right now he sits alone,
And he’s slowly dying.

He doesn’t even care about his daughter.
Who tries to stop him from drinking.
She cries and begs him to stop.
She sees him slowly sinking.

Soon he’ll lose his family…
Or more likely he’ll die.
It’s truly difficult to watch…
My daddy kill himself one beer at a time.


Details | Rhyme | |

blood transfusion



Details | Elegy | |

O BELOVED MOTHER, O BELOVED SISTERS....

O beloved mother, o beloved sisters
departed from me, within years
of each other, to sadden my living;
I spend my days weeping...
reminiscing in my sorrow:
how we laughed together,
and faced another serene tomorrow,
knowing that sharing kindness
would bond our destinies
in ways so devoted and immense!   


O beloved mother, o beloved sisters...
I let the unconsumed joy of memories
take me to those yesterdays
to thank God for our existence,
when we enjoyed the gifts He offered;
yes, even the smallest of them 
were so lovely and precious!
And by watching how you faced death,
I admired how you became the bravest...
slowly letting go of what you possessed!


O beloved mother, o beloved sisters...
do you want me to continue crying,
or smile and console you with a future promise:
that soon we'll embrace one another
under the joyful eyes of our Creator?
Nothing foolish I will do to harm myself;
and wait I will 'till my end comes,
but until then my solemn prayers I'll recite
amid tombstones guarded by triumphant angels...
and bound for Heaven, I'll be smiling!


Details | Free verse | |

In Her Fathers Arms

The evening star glowing in a dust choked sky. A girl stands by a window, with a tear in her eye. She stares at the scene, hardly visible through the grime. She whispers in the wind, “Bring my Dad home this time” She opens the window, and climbs outside, Having a flashlight, in her hand, as her guide. Its glow shows the sides of the street. She’s afraid for what the light will meet Bodies piled everywhere she turns, She wants to go home, and never return. What brought this fate upon her town? All her emotions are stripped and torn down. A frightening sound explodes in her ear. Shadows in the road now appear. She run and hides behind a broken wall Praying to god the rest doesn’t fall. Footsteps coming closer to her She can’t tell who because it’s all a blur She backs away further so not to be seen in light, Quieting her heart pounding from fright. Gun shots and screams fill the air, All these sounds, her ears couldn’t bear. A slight whimper slips from her lips, And over the broken stone she trips. The shadows run closer, showering her heart with fear, She wishes they would just disappear. They pass by her; she fills with delight, She just wants to see her dad tonight. She shines the light, to show her place, And to the shine comes a familiar face. She doesn’t understand who’s to blame Because on the tag shows her father’s name. She holds in her tears and refrains from crying. She falls to the ground where her dad was lying. She lifts his arm and buries her face in his chest. She closes her eyes wanting to forget the rest. The shadows emerge yet she doesn’t see, How close the end for her would be. They look down at her, aim, shoot, and fire. Being with her dad is her only desire. The night had ended causing a little girl harm But she took her last breath, in her father’s arms.


Details | Lyric | |

Drenched In Silence

This was originally a poem by my little brother David Breidenthal. You can search it and find that my song version is a little bit similar to his poem. Enjoy! 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have no capability to cry for help I have no energy to save myself Can you hear the silence of my sad prayer? Daddy says You’re mad at me Are You even there? Drenched in silence…drenched in silence Can You hear me? Will You save me From him? Why do You stare at me From high above? Why do You laugh and jeer at me Where is the love? Oh, I know You hear me Feel my despair All the others are happy God, it isn’t fair… Drenched in silence…drenched in silence… Can You hear me? Will You save me? Ahhh….ahhh…..ahhh Something tells me Something tells me You hurt no one…no one Something tells me Something screams to me You hurt no one Not him, nor her, nor He… Just me… Drenched in silence…drenched in silence… I have no capability To cry for help I have no confidence To find you myself I will never believe What he said No one laid a hand on you You are not dead, just— Drenched in silence…drenched in silence Can you hear me? Will you save me? Can you here me? Do you fear me? Daddy says You’re mad at me Daddy pulls my hair Daddy says I’m bad to You Daddy says You’re there Can you hear me? Daddy says You’re mad at me Daddy says beware Daddy says I’m bad to you Daddy wants me bear Daddy says You’re mad at me Daddy pulls my hair Daddy says You’ll forgive me But I don’t think you care Drenched in silence…drenched in silence… Can You hear me? Will you save me? (from him) Can You hear me? Can You hear me? Can’t You hear me? Can’t You hear me? Can You hear me? Hear me, hear me Hear me, hear me Hear me, hear me Hear me…hear me


Details | Quatrain | |

Average Age 19

Once again, the powers that must
In rise again in what we trust
An overseas conflict, another war
Just what in the hell are we fighting for

Families are asking, Korea has just passed
Generations again reft, how long will it last
A country in need, to rebuild again
Flags at half mast, in wind and rain strain

Once again into war, sent by the Washington Post
To send back reports to hit home the most
Military observers were the first to be sent in
Another chapter of man entering existing sin

I'm witnessing our ariel power, Lam Son 719
US planners determine their incursion, saying all will be fine
Along the Mekong River, we'll carpet bomb their supply trail
Tons of munitions and napalm, this spread surely cannot fail

Many sorties are being flown, for the wounded and the dead
Whilst Nixon and his cronies, aren't thinking with their heads
The news of losses has reached me, nineteen have been killed
Eleven missing, fifty nine wounded, more American blood spilled

Seven fixed wing aircraft, more sons in action loss
Whilst back at home more protests, fading the dyeing's gloss
To to this job that I do, I was never prepared for this
To witness such bloody scenes, and ignore that life is bliss

How can I write about a soldier, whose name I'll never know
Killed at nineteen years old, his family he'll never see grow
Or even explain to his parents, when carried from the AH-1
His body bullet riddled and limp, when lifted it bloodily run

I never went back to the theatre, called the Vietnam War
Having witnessed the wanton killing, what were we fighting for
This colonial conflict that started, us on the side of France
So many came back as strangers, many to live in trance





James Fraser's entry into the contest " WORLD OF WAR: VIETNAM "



Details | Couplet | |

Marble in Columns on Green

On a slope graced with green
White marble stands in proud salute

For beneath these engraved pillars of memory
Lie the resting places of heroes

A solitary green fir looks down
As if sheltering the lost and the taken

So many names, from all walks of life
A father, brother a girlfriend or wife

On a sunny day, they glow radiant like their lives
On a dull day, they stand out against the greys

For the living, life goes on 
Tomorrow is another day


Details | Rhyme | |

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love?

How can we hurt the very ones that we love?
How can we easily neglect our God above?

It seems like I often heard about many victims
Many times, it’s from a loved one who’s been with them!

The hate and the anger that boils from deep within.
Often “boils over” toward our family and friends.

It’s the love of Christ that we need to find!
His love can totally cleanse our life and mind!

The hearts of many families are bruised and broken.
By the harshness of many of the words spoken.

If we would allow Jesus to rule and reign.
We’d have little reason to murmur or complain.

If we would yield our lives to the master’s will…
The emptiness and brokenness, he shall fulfill!

If we could allow ourselves to sit at Jesus’ feet…
He can make any family totally complete!

If we could just listen to what Christ has to say.
His words of life would brighten our day!

As a family…  Won’t you give HIM a chance?
And allow his love to change your circumstance!

Won’t you allow his spirit to bind you together?
You can experience his peace today and forever!

He can change your family throughout!
This is his will and what God is all about!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Have You Been Hurt By Religion

Have You Been Hurt By “Religion”?

Are you tired of “religious people”
 knocking at your door?
You wish they’d leave...  “You can’t take it anymore!”

Have you been hurt by “church people” sometime in the past?
Somehow they hurt you...  And the pain continues to last…

Have you been “wounded” by something
 somebody has said?
Perhaps you wonder if “they wish you were dead…”

Perhaps there’s someone that you 
may have “befriended…”
They have done something that
 has hurt you and “offended.”

There’s probably many people that you wish would “go away.”
Because of something they’ve 
done to “darken your day.”

I’ve been there many times…  Believe me I know.
How someone’s actions or words can hurt your soul.

Even those who go to church are 
often not very kind.
And they don’t hesitate to 
give you “a piece of their mind.”

Religion is not the answer.  Look to Jesus 
and the life he gives!
He alone has the power to love
 and completely forgive!

It’s only in his shed blood that you can find atonement.
He can change your life now!  This very moment!

He can heal your broken heart and wounded spirit.
An everlasting joy and love...  He freely gives it!

He can do what no “church” or “religion” could ever do
He can restore your life today.  
And make you BRAND NEW!!!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

14 years ago

Death,
thou boisterous ancient foe,
you crept in surreptitiously,
and bore a hole in our hearts.
It's 14 years now,
14 years of longing.
For seven years, the torrential rain battered us,
and we almost succumbed to the intensity of the rain.
Then,
a Moses arose,
lion-hearted damsel
and the lineage was rescued.
Father, I ache and bleed daily,
as I remember your tilling and planting seasons.
You planted many seeds in us.
Father, a little seed has sprouted,
and has borne many fruits,
succulent fruits indeed.
I wished I could give you a bite,
Alas,
the curtain was drawn 14 years ago,
and now you are a complete dust.
Adieu, my father!
Adieu, the muse that brought out the poet in me.







The pain, grief and sorrow that I felt after my father's death forced me to look for a way of expressing the pent up emotion of anger and sadness; poetry gave me the answer. Over the years, I have fallen in love with poetry and no one can break the union


Details | I do not know? | |

My Dad

It never quits
My dad's h i t s
I see myself in the mirror
And I am to become
But I just go numb
It hurts to see
What all he has done to me
It never fails
When he hears me wail
It never quits
My dad's h i t s


Details | Lyric | |

The Sins Of Our Fathers


The sins of our fathers cast such long and unremorseful shadows
   Leaving in its quake such a painful sting as only God would know.
With tangled webs that reach to the bowels of hell.
   Manipulating lies destructive words which only a father could tell.
Knowing full well how the vicious lies will be cast downward in a spiraling effect.
   To rob our children of any pride and leave them as societies social rejects.
With no recourse but to follow in fathers misguided and devious ways.
   With unknowing and uncaring reasoning they go forth longing for better days.
So where is the justice for the generation that draws the short end of the stick.
   All to suffer for the mistakes of being sired by a father who was morally sick.
Once in a great while you might luck out and see one escape such a horrible fate.
   Most often as not the majority wind up like dad filled with anger and hate.
If the Lord ever places in your path one of these castaways of life.
    Maybe you can be the one to help free it from all its anguish and strife.
Break the vicious cycle of torment and pain.
   Teach them of our Savior, Jesus, and that not every dark cloud contains rain.
Tell them how Jesus died so they know about the cleansing power of His blood.
   And how God with one gentle breath could tame the waters of a mighty raging 
flood.
And how we can repent of our sins and even the sins of our fathers and still be 
saved.
   Seek Jesus and ask for forgiveness with a humble and sincere heart, then our 
sins we confess of, He so graciously waived. 
                  


Details | I do not know? | |

Wish I Was Your Addiction

Wish I was your addiction,
Upon a star non fiction,
never ending hole so deep,
Life would seem more complete

If you'd wake up, 
crack open my bedroom door,
To think you'd been dreaming about me,
God gave you everything you need and more,
What Id give to feel those arms hug me,
genuinely, honestly, no love withholding

If I was your vice,
I would be the answer to your stress,
Of all else you try,
I'd always bring out the best,
You'd spend time with me ,
defend me to the end,
You'd be incredibly loyal,
I'd consider you my best friend

No recovery program could treat,
the connection we'd share no one could defeat,
You'd need to see my all the time,
reminders of me everywhere, your life would be a shrine,

Wish I was your addiction,
Upon a star non fiction
never ending hole so deep,
Life would seem more complete


Details | Rhyme | |

Holding Back His Tears

Holding back his tears
In front of him, a soldier kneels
As the mourners look on saddened
Inside the little boy feels

To grow up without his father
As he grows up without his friend
To play ball with him in the park
When he needs him, so much to depend

To be there through out his school life
To make him oh so proud
But not to be there when he graduates
Clapping and shouting out loud

To be there when he gets married
Be a grandfather to his kids
At his fathers funeral he attends
His life in battle rid

In front the soldier kneels
Holding the Stars and Stripes
Presenting it to the little boy
Holding back his tears, from his eyes




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-2.php


Details | I do not know? | |

Today Is Terrible----

The cracked spine of
the book I dropped
at the call.
A chip in my
windshield left by a
pompous *?#@! in a
red sports car as I
drive to the
service.
Rain expectorating
from an ashen sky as
the dirt is turned.
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
crack in grandma’s
spine from her fall
down the stairs.
The chip in her
amazingly smart mind
after eighteen years
as a teacher.
Tears running,
dripping from my
Mothers ashen face
as she cries “My
mama’s dead.”
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
cracked family
emotions left raw
and empty.
The chip in Grandpas
numb mind at the
gathering… “Where is
Irene she should be
here?”
Faces gone ashen
with dread, do we
leave him numb or
remind him that his
wife is dead?
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
empty silences,
missing the jokes
Grandma used to
crack.
Grandma’s laugh and
her endless smile
which always exposed
that tooth with the
chip in it.
Without her the
world has become
empty, bleak, and
ashen.
Today is terrible.

                   
                   
                   
          Summer
Gratias


Details | I do not know? | |

Did I Remember To Tell You Daddy

Almost three years now Daddy
since you were taken away
I thank God you no longer suffer
but I had so much more to say

But you and I were always very close
and I know that we still are
So be free to enjoy family and friends
I know you'll never be far

Oh but  Daddy
Did I remember to thank you 
for coming to stay with the kids and I 
At times you thought you were a burden
but if anyone was it was I

And I want to tell you too Daddy
that you would be so proud of them all
Brandon's now a sergeant with a son on the way
Cam Jeremy is due early fall

And your little Sarah Daddy
you would be so very proud
She's a tiny little thing, still a great mom
and has the best boys in any crowd

And I'm sure you've been watching Curtis
So you know he's just like you
And he is living up to the promise he made
Yes Daddy I'm very proud too

Oh and one more thing 
before I lay down to rest
Did I remember to tell you and the world
that
 My Daddy's the best

Loving you and missing you always
Your baby girl


Details | Rhyme | |

" The Life Of Me " page 1 of 2

My name is James, born 1961
In Inverness, a small Scots town
To my father Andrew, and my mother Beryl
And Billy my brother, a pair of devils
 
In 67, we woke one night
Our house was ablaze, full of orange light
Our neighbour next door, for whatever reason
Started a fire, it must be crazy season
 
We had too move to a caravan park
By this time it,s three, to make a new start
My mother Beryl decide to leave
But the three of us left, never bothered to grieve
 
In the next few weeks, we ended in court
Two small children, in a marriage abort
We were asked to choose either Dad or Mum
But we ignored the parent, who went on the run
 
As we left the court, to start a new life
We felt sorry for Dad, as his illness was rife
He never told us that he was unwell
It would upset one of his boys, as the future will tell
 
Then came the night all parents dread;
Being told one of his boys is nearly dead
We were going to a boys club, on a Monday night
My brother was running so far out of sight
 
I turned the corner to see him ahead
No!! he's been hit by a van, Boom's  Boom's dead
I ran to my father, sreaming and crying
I'm finding my life,at 7 - far too trying
 
After the funeral, and with my father unwell
We left Inverness, our eyes a swell
To go as two, and not three as before
It's like Mother Nature closed a door
 
So we headed west, to a place called Fort William
Was it in the stars, cause Billy " is " William
We moved there, as the air was so pure
Hoping my father will find his cure
 
For whatever reason, we left the above
We found no Angel or peaceful dove
So we headed back to Inverness
Fathers health decreasing, life still a stress
 
Over the next few years, i was fostered and loaned
In couples houses and children's homes
It was really strange in all those places
Different people, different faces

Then on the 16th of Feb - 76,
James, i was told, your dads very sick.
The cancer had taken your father away
To be with Billy, where you'll join them one day

In 77, i joined the Navy, as i promised my dad you see. 
I did'nt enjoy it, i decided to leave 
Back up north, where my futures to be 
I wanted to have, what my parents had lost 
And that was my aim, no matter the cost

see page 2 of 2, ty..


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 1 of 2

Around that table, picture the scene
Self appointed leaders if you know what I mean
What were the topics on the Agenda that day
The Jewish race is about to pay

Who gave the right for this decision that's made
Who has the right to cleanse and degrade
To decide who lived, to decide who dies
Another chapter, I still wonder why

They came in the day they came in the night
Women and children pulled out of sight
Herded aboard like cattle and sheep
Many a family awoke from their sleep

Dazed and confused as they are taken away
Where will they be at the end of the day
From their warm houses and their warm beds
What must be going through their heads

As they travel through days and through the night
Up ahead, they see lots of lights
They depart the trucks and board the train
Their faces scared under the strain

Asking questions from family and others
Generations, sisters and brothers
Why are we here, where are we going
Windowless carriages with no way of knowing

We come to a stop, soldiers aplenty
Towers and wire, topped with sentries
What can this place be they have taken us to
As we head to large gates as they shuffle us through

Families separated, herded in file
Women and children, not one did smile
Taken to rooms where our heads were shaved
Is this the way humans behaved

Clothes discarded, as we enter the shower
No signs of water no signs of power
Doors slammed as we are all crammed in
History will recall this evil of sins

As we stand in the dark, chanting Jewish faith
Can hear the voices can't see the face
Noises above, do the showers start
The event has begun that tells us Humans apart

Questions and sighs, as walled vents show daylight
Some thing is falling then their slammed tight
A strange aroma starts to fill the air
As all around are screams of despair

Twenty minutes have passed and the quietness is rife
Two thousand people, two thousand lives
Pellets called HCN, or Hydrogen Cyanide
Contribute to this Genocide


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | Rhyme | |

DaddyTold Me Song on CD

In life to get by, I really do try, very hard to live by,
the old fashioned ways, of how my daddy lived his days,
He often told me not to lie, and when he caught me, it made me cry,
and I still remember him say, son you'll be ok, tomorrow's another day,

Then daddy told me about the war, the first time he wrecked a car,
and of how it made him cry, when some of his friends died,
Then we looked up in the sky, and the whole world felt like ours,
staring high up in  the sky, I just wished that we could fly,

Being young, I asked dad...why?...why do people have to die?
Then I heard him sigh....and say....my oh my oh my,
and he looked me in the eye,
as I yearned for his reply:

Son, people are dying without....and dying within,
with no way out.....hunger starves a friend...
Death is much about, bloody wars that never end...
The whole world, no doubt, suffers from serious sin,

Then we looked high up in the sky, suddenly a shooting star went by,
and the whole world felt like ours, as daddy told me about the stars,
Then I listened to him say, son...tomorrow and everyday...
let nothing stand in your way, and you'll succeed in life....OK.


Details | Free verse | |

An Unfair Ending (Edited for space limits)

His face, withered, gaunt
His eyes cloudy, filled with a haunting vacancy
His voice weak , shallow
Seldom spoken these last difficult days

His hair is white and thin
His skin, so delicate and discolored
The strength has left his fragile body
And he lies, waiting

Yet I remember the man who was my Father
In my youth, so tall and strong
His eyes a deep blue with a depth of the seas
Thick, wavy, black hair tousled about his head

He walked with an unaware arrogance
Never knowing that all eyes were upon him
This handsomest of men, beautiful, confident
No one could match his brilliance, his seductive air

Unconscious, innocent of the power he possessed
The command he held with peers, a leader of men
A bright star in the universe, a life spent searching for answers
Politics, Economics, Religion…his battlegrounds

Yet, with all his perfection
He remained kind and true to all
Generous, loving; never an unkind word
A light for all who knew him

But the cruelty of life is worse for some
His body wracked with an unforgiving disease
Seizing him, slowly at first…a tremor
Then completely, leaving him helpless

Dependent upon those who had worshipped his strength
Lying in his bed, languished, weak
Nearly impossible to eat, difficult to drink
Each day descending further into darkness

Life’s cruelest blow to one so special 
Chosen by angels as their brightest star
So blessed to have loved such a man
Still loved, but pitied for the terrible loss

For such men were never meant to suffer this fate
To fade each day, closer to oblivion
He would never have chosen this
Broken, suffering silently in stoic resignation

Pride now replaced with painful gratefulness
He tries to manage a smile
His rigid muscles fighting the instinct
For he spent his life smiling

But old age has given him no peace
No time to reflect on the legacy he leaves
He waits as life deals its unjust ending
For one who was so great, so good

I hold his cold, thin hand in mine
Holding back the tears that burn
I will remember him, the Father whom I have loved
I see him walk away, wavy black hair, a cute little wink

As he leaves this tired shell, worn, used up
Once again becoming the unbroken man
I see him strut again, his quick, bouncy steps
As he climbs the ladder to the heaven he has earned

I hear the trumpets of the angels
Welcoming their special creation
A man of compassion and ideals
My Father, My Daddy…How I will miss him


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 2 of 2

After the quiet we all have to go
Dragged and carted by the Sonderkommando
To be dumped in pits covered by lime
A race to dispose by it's Human slime

Auschwitz, Buchenwald & Dachau slaughtered
Many a son, many a daughter
Experiments on children women and men
Some aged 90, many under 10

In 45, their end was near, how many alive would reappear
As Russians, British and US troops
Chased the Hun to their German roots
Each camp reached showed it's sordid past
Where millions of me, were massively gassed

In Auschwitz, to this present day
Birds don't fly, no animals play
The reminder is all for there to see
Those terrible days what happened to me

It's 1948, our Nation is born
From histories past, populations torn
To all who survived I wish you well
And our new born world, called Israel 


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | Lyric | |

Love went away

It hurt so much to let you go
It hurt me more then you could ever know
When it has to do with me you never really care
But I love you, Daddy, and I'll always be there

Even when my heart is torn
Even when when it's pricked by the love thorn
Even when we say our good-byes
Even when I listen to your lies

Your little girl is fully grown
Your little girl was so alone
So where were you dad
How could you make your little girl so sad

Even when I begged for you to answer my call
Even when you made me feel so small
Even when  I cried
Even when you were stuck in your pride

I always did my best
And even then you never were impressed
I never felt right, I never felt okay
Our love just went away




Details | Rhyme | |

Holding Back the Tears

Men don’t cry,
Or so I’ve been told
So the tears well up
But inside them I hold

My black suit matches
My jet black tie
I just stare straight ahead
So I won’t start to cry

The casket is not heavy
But my heart is weighed down
I am who I am
Because this man was around

My tomorrows will never be the same
But the yesterdays we had will always remain
As I bid farewell to my father, my friend
I’ll hold the tears inside until I see you again


Details | Couplet | |

Birth Of A Child

A woman shattered the night, with her agonizing scream
Sacrificing her might has dawned realization of a dream.

She has given me a wonderful heir, to bear my name
And left her sweet memories, for the spirits not wane.


Details | ABC | |

Daddy the Alcoholic

Daddy the alcoholic,
 every single day,
full and countless glasses,
 guzzled down,
help him please, and bring my daddy back to me.


Details | Rhyme | |

I HAND YOU MY TEARS

God you are in my heart,
You keep my heart from falling apart,
I have been in pain from the start.

Thank  you for protecting my dad,
He was very ill and feeling bad,
I shed some tears because I was sad.

God, I'm sorry for what I say,
I know that I won't have to pay,
Thank you Jesus for paying my way.

Please keep Satan away from me,
I don't need temptations you see,
My heart needs to be pure and free.

I want to be your precious stone,
I know that I am not alone,
I can't wait to sit by your throne.


Details | Free verse | |

Autism

O, I love my dear boy
So dearly and so blindly
I will give him my blood
And life if God permits so

He's so weak and sick
So pallid and so tender
But I know he's an umbrella of snow
In the wide-brimmed form

A rhyme, a loft 
Almost in the spelling of my own world.



Details | Rhyme | |

I Hear You In A Photograph

It's been a lifetime since I heard your voice
Most times I can't recall
Your Laughter and whispers became foreign to me
Behind my memories walls

Too numerous nights when your face haunts my sleep
That I struggle to hold to the last
Fighting to save what my minds eye has seen
A myriad of years in the past

Was it so long ago that you passed from our lives?
Laid down for your final sleep
It feels so close although far from my grasp
You have been the one treasure I keep

I've searched out your life and the people you've touched
The legacy you built over time
Trying to resurrect you in some practical ways
Weaving their memories with mine

For twenty five years I've stared at your picture
Recounting each day remaking each choice
If I search deep enough in those eyes long extinguished 
It nearly whispers a trace of your voice


Details | Rhyme | |

Santa's Letter

Last night as I was setting up the tree,
Our six year old son came up to me.
He said, "Mommy, I need a stamp because,
I want to mail this letter to Santa Claus."

Only six years old and just learning to spell.
He tried his best, it came out quite well.
He asked for a car, a train and a bike,
And all of the things that little boys like.

Then he signed his name, with a little PS,
That brought a tear to my eye and a pain to my chest.
As I stood there reading that crayon letter,
I fought back my tears, for I knew better,
Than to show him the impact of the words that he wrote,
As he ended his letter with this little note,

"Santa, I know money is short this year,
So all I really want is my Daddy to be here."


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Messiah

Something breaks inside this musty beggar.
As he awakes to see he's on 6th Avenue.
Where he sat and sang and endured the weather.
Where he sat and sang and sung the truth.
But the world didn't view things the way he used to. 
And couldn't seem to make them believe. 
The way that he saw things. 
The way that it should be. 

But I heard him play, like holy water.
And it opened up my eyes.
This man in tattered clothing; he's a, messiah, in disguise.
And I will sadly sing these awful songs. 
That were made in his design.  
Like music he sang all along.
Like music that's divine.

But Then his lovely daughter died. 
And he couldn't handle the grief.
He wrote one last sobbing song. 
And they found him in week.
Huddled in inside an alley-way.
Where he died inside his sleep. 
Dreaming on his daughter's eyes. 
Dreaming that he weeps. 

And now I'm singing songs about his daughter.
That brings a tear into to my eye.
This man in tattered clothing; he's a, messiah in disguise. 
So I will sadly sing these awful songs.
That were made in his design.


Details | Lyric | |

Take Nothing For Granted

I deferred the words " I love you"
Until the morrows light.
Words, that from my heart,
I felt impressed upon to say.

For sure, "I love you",
Would have best been said that night.
Still I reserved ownership,
For perhaps some abstinent day.

Instead, from my vast reserve,
Grating words were launched to flight.
Words that once I'd spent,
Could never be recanted.

I had failed miserably,
At living life in the moment.
So, doting on another days sight,
I had taken our time for granted.

The next day's sun, I found,
Rose not for both alike.
Albiet the sky was blue and bright,
My day was overcast.

For from my life,
I allowed to slip, a love untold,
Now I'm forever yoked with regrets might,
Hard and fast.

Regret is felt always when it is too late.






























Details | Personification | |

you are you

Where do I go ?
What should I do?
Cannot mistake 
My feelings about you.
Running behind,
Making mistakes,
What do I give?
What do I take?
You seem to know 
What I should do 
But, you're not me
You are you...

Empty feelings,
of being alone.
I cannot wait
until you're not home.
You yell, you scream
You make mistakes.
But now it's different,
it's O.K.
You seem to know 
What I should do
But, you're not me 
You are you...

Undying surface
Emmenseful pain
You have no knowledge
that's what I'll gain.
Crucial arrogance,
times go bad.
I'll always remember,
I have no Dad.
You seem to know 
What I should do
But, you're not me 
You are you...


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

72 hours

(This is a fictional poem)

For the last seventy-two hours I've been going through hell.
My daughter was playing and she fell down a well.
I feel so helpless even though the rescue workers assure me that they'll get her 
out of there.
I've lived for over thirty-five years and this is the first time that I've been scared.
I just got wonderful news, they got her out and she isn't dead.
I'm so grateful because without her, I couldn't have lived during the years ahead.


Details | Rhyme | |

Daddy's Lost

Never being there hurt you so
Desiring to help me grow
Help my childhood progress
It made you feel worthless

What AM I taking about?
Cause day in day out
You missing me was a joke
You never loved what you broke

Another too lost and scared
Though I can’t say I never cared
And I can’t say I’m not sad
But even you should know dad

That never coming to see me
I dealt with to a tolerable degree
And that I’ll always question
When I’ll hear your confession

Will I ever get to see you dad
Or have I truly been had
I guess I have to wait some more
‘Cause it’s always you I’ll be looking for


Details | I do not know? | |

My Dad

Every little girl
has one thing she can count on
Her Dad
That may be true
for many of you
But me and my Dad
aren't very close together
We fight and fight
he puts me down
Like i was just some dog
He says that he hates
to lug me around
He said i was a burdon
and that made me frown
He tells me i wasn't planned
An unwanted child that showed up
Unexpected 
A child that was not wanted even after it was born
My Dad and I 
don't speak very often 
only when forced to 
do we speak or even look at one another
Hopefully one day,
the man who i call my dad
Will actually become a Dad 
and say he loves his young child


Details | Rhyme | |

Dad

Hello there dad how have you been? Oh! Really thats great please don't let me begin. 
Where were you just last year when I nearly died of stress? Or how about two months ago 
when my whole life was a mess? I wondered where you were all of the time, now I'm 
fifteen three years from grown and you show up on the dime! Well go back where you came 
from back into the portal you walked through, who's my dad? wheres he at? Oh no it 
couldn't be you, I saw a completely different face at the age of two! So your really 
here? this isn't a joke? Ha! Go somewhere and choke! I never needed you before and I 
definatly don't need you now, and I can walk my own self down the isle!


Details | I do not know? | |

Kisses

Kisses can be powerful 
Kisses can change a little 
Girls heart to open and 
love the world once again.
Because she now sees how 
important the world is to
her and even though her
daddy is no longer living he
still wants her to know that 
he still loves her and that 
he thinks of her all the time 
and he watches out for her 
even when she's asleep. And
he wants her to be happy and
to be proud of herself and the 
world around her even though 
she thinks she can make it 
on her own in the back of
her mind she knows she will
need help and even though she 
may not agree with every thing 
there is to know about 
the world. but if there is 
one thing she can agree on 
it's that her daddy loves 
her with every kiss from 
the sky above. And every 
time the Wind blows it's 
her daddy talking to her. If
she would only listen a little 
closer she would be able to understand.


Details | I do not know? | |

Dad

How can you cause all this pain
You say that you love Jesus so how can you take his name in vain
Every day was so insane
You always like to cause so much pain
What did you have to gain
At times I thought you have lost your mind
How could you be so unkind
Behind all these tears comes shame
I could say you are to blame
But I won't play that game


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

DOMESTIC ABUSE

the children are crying
again there's trouble in the house
their mother's in the corner all bloodied
and cowering like a mouse
the father, the husband
who calls himself the king
seems to only dispense verbal abuse
and violent beatings
the police have been called 
but she won't have him arrested
she thinks her faith, beliefs 
and vows are being tested
her friends can't understand why 
she won't just get away
her family is praying that
he won't kill her some day
 
domestic abuse seems to be on the up-rise
yet society always seems to be shocked and surprised
you'll hear people say, "they seem like a very nice couple"
but behind those closed doors there's nothing but violent struggles
the children are always looking neat on their way to school
they seem very shy and the mother acts somewhat cool
but inside that house no one really has a clue
of the level of domestic violence and abuse


Details | Narrative | |

He Loved You

He loved you too, you know
Loved you like his very own
In away you were
You came into his life as my friend
Through the years you grew to be my brother in arms 
Along the way you became the son he never had

He loved you as a friend
He loved you even more as a son
A son he never had
When things began to spiral out of control
You stayed when so many others ran away
You helped when I couldn’t

You meant a great deal to him
You never looked at him differently 
Nor did you treat him differently
You stood by his side
When he fell, you stood by his side and mine
You were willing to help me fight his battle for him 
You were there from the beginning 
You were there until the bitter end
Always remember my friend, my brother
He loved you more than you’ll ever know


____________________________________________________________
Dedicated to close Family friend Rodney Howard. He loved my Daddy just as much as I did/do.


Details | Epic | |

We Lost More Than a Dad

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost half of how we came to be
We lost we four girls first love
We lost our Best Friend

We lost more than just a Dad that day
Our Mom lost her Soul Mate, Her other half 
Our children lost their Papaw
We lost our family’s foundation 
We lost the glue that held us together

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost the Strongest man we ever knew 
We lost the man we looked up too
We lost we four girls Teacher of many things

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We four girls lost our Hero
We lost some of our Light
We lost part of our Heart
We lost part of our Soul

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost some of our Courage
We lost some of our Strength
We lost some of our will to fight back
We lost some of our will to carry on
We four girls lost more than a Dad
We lost more than just a Dad that day


Details | Lyric | |

I Hate You Cancer

Dedicated to my Dad who lost his short battle w/ Colon Cancer on June 18,2013

I hate you Cancer
Your vile evil and cruel
You don't care who you hurt
I'll never forget that day
I'll always hate you for it

Your heartless Cancer
You took someone important from me
Someone important from others too
Took people who didn't belong to you
I hate you for it

You disgust me Cancer
You had no right to take him from me
He mattered more than my very own life
I hate you for taking my Daddy
I hate you for taking others too

I hate you with a passion Cancer
You took part of my heart with him
You took part of my soul that day too
I hate you for it
I hate you I hate you I hate you

I hate you with every fiber of my being 
Go back to Hell where you belong
I hate you, others hate you
Your not welcome or wanted here Cancer

I hate you more than his doctor's
I hate you more than God
I hope I get to witness that day
Witness the day you fall
And you will fall Cancer

You're gonna lose the battle one day Cancer
I'm gonna laugh and dance around your grave
You'll finally get what you deserve 
And you'll never be able to take another soul


Sabrina Niday Hansel


______________________________________________________________________
Placed 8th in Poet Destroyer A's  2013 "PINKTOBER" Contest

Please Support a Cure for Colon Cancer & every other type!









Details | Rhyme | |

When A Son Loses His Father

Now that he's without him
what is he working for
He had never truly realized
His dad drove him to want more
With working came acceptance
replaced emotions he concedes
and his father unavailable,
he kept his schedule filled with deeds,
When his father passed away
it broke him to the core
just learning he and his dad
had things in common they stood for
His dad had loved unconditionally,
despite his character flaws
and perhaps was thinking he'd call his son
when the winter thaws
but winters came and went
and neither reached to call
yet they truly loved each other
despite their voices being awol
His imperfect life with his Dad,
is now the oddest gift he treasures
He's vowed to be a father
for his sons to proudly measure
He says "I love you" to his kids,
and has being saying so for many years
then thinks of what he missed
with his Dad,
and it reduces him to tears
Nothing can make that emptiness go
he carries the lesson learned
Knowing now to speak his love out loud
not said to be returned
When a son loses his father
a part of himself fades into the light
as do the words he rarely stated,
like, "Dad, nice to hear from you tonight"
or picking up the phone to say,
"hi dad, did you just hear",
are calls he wished he'd made
while he wipes away a tear,
Now in a prayer he says, "I love you Dad", 
to the heavens he kneels and pleads
and wonders if his fathers knows
that his love's so strong, it bleeds
"Dad, in case you didn't know it,
I love you more than I can say
I always tell my kids I love them
I learned that the hard way,
and in my heart,
my father,
you shall always stay".


Details | Munaajaat | |

Tell Me

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know

Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know

Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that

You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know

You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me, Help me to understand

You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel

How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door

You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't take his place
Answer me, you owe me that much



Sabrina Niday Hansel
~Niday40873~

(motif) Spiritual


Details | Narrative | |

The Cook and His Dish

Pity her as she cried 
On the floor, ragged, she lied
She's covered with odd bruises
And hell things on mind cruises

She was there left alone
Mourning for help at home.
Hungry and parched she was,
Hoping someone would pass

“Click! Click!”, the door knob sounds
At last someone’s around.
Who’s there? Who could that be?
At last! She will be free!

But it widened her eyes
Scared and again she cried
‘Twas a man who appeared
Went to her and she feared.

He touched her hair and said
“Hush! Hush! Just go to bed
Stay quite, don’t be a heck!”
And kissed her on the neck.

Poor girl, she just abide
To the man whom she feared
“Why is he doing this?
I’m his daughter, why’s this?”

In the bedroom they were;
Father started kissing her.
Poor lil girl can’t defy
If she speak up, she’ll die.

“Oh my Lord, please help me,
I can’t take it, save me.”
Said her mind as tears flowed
Grieving in pain; she moaned.

Then suddenly she smiled
From what she heard outside.
A sudden hope in her eyes gleamed
From something she perceived.


She heard her mother’s voice
"I'll be saved" she rejoiced
“A miracle for me
Lord replied to my plea.”

And the door opened
Mother saw what happened
Shocked and startled she was
Then screamed for help, at last!

Mother bellowed and slapped him
Outraged and said to him
“She is your daughter!
Why did you rape her?”

Then neighbors came
Naked -- poor girl was ashamed
Dazed and shaken they were
Staring at poor girl and her father.

Then two cops came along
Grabbed the father for his wrong
He panicked and dreaded
Denied all he acted

Livid and offended 
Lil girl stood and stated
“Oh yes, that man raped me,
Not just once but many times.” 

Then her father uttered
“My dish is my daughter.
I’m the one who made her,
So I should also taste her.”

Wretched from what she heard
She spoke not a single word
Woeful and quite, she sniveled
Suddenly collapsed and fell

At last poor girl’s now free
From nightmare and agony
Yes she has a father
But she’s his dish not his daughter.


Details | I do not know? | |

THE LITTLE CHRISTINGLE GIRL

Oh sweet little Christingle girl
Your daddy is so very far away
“Bring my daddy safely home”
These are the words you pray

Oh sweet little Christingle girl
Daddy is away at the war
“Bring my daddy safely home
Bring him safely to our door”

Oh sweet little Christingle girl
How she misses daddy far away
How sad she is, he won’t be home
To be with them on Christmas day

At Sunday school she made a christingle 
She took an orange to represent the world.
And to symbolize the blood Christ shed
She took the red ribbon from her curls

Then she decorated four tooth picks 
With fruits and sweets and marshmallows
These she placed in the four corners
To represented all the earthly souls

Then finally in the centre of the orange
She stood a single candle of purest white
And when lit, the candle represented
The world filled with Christ’s loving light

The sweet little Christingle girl
Took it home with her that day
And stood it in the window
So daddy would find his way

And the sweet little Christingle girl
With her daddy so very far away
Knew that when he did come home
That would be their Christmas day


Details | Rhyme | |

Smoking From the ones left behind

(FROM THE ONES WHO ARE LEFT BEHIND)


To all you smokers out there.

I’m not going to say, give up, I wouldn’t dare,

If you want to smoke, it’s up to you,

But I don’t want to smoke your smoke too,

So many lives it takes away.

It really is a high price to pay,

Especially for the ones left behind,

The ones you love, so very kind.

They are the ones left with there hearts broken,

So many things left unspoken.

They are the ones, that have to nurse you night and day,

They are the ones, who sit and pray,

They are the ones left with the legacy of what you’ve done,

When you can’t breath, because of your lung,

They to would like a voice,

They to would like a choice.


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Couplet | |

Goodbye Granddad

Gravity pulls my tears into pools.
Im sinking in sorrow -emotional fuels. 

Just turn back the time, I just want a moment. 
To say goodbye once, to cherish and own it. 

I loved my granddad - a man more than great.
Paired with my Granny as the perfect mate. 

A montage of memories that rush my soul.
My eyes fill with tears, I'm losing control. 

Just keep it together, it's what he would want. 
They all say the same, but I stand in front. 

Happiness swells, yet sadness prevails.
Like Christ on the cross, with hands full of nails. 

Life has a reason, and death isn't treason.
-It's moving on up.. A lifetime's a season. 

I look to the sky and say my goodbye.
The time won't turn back, I gave it a try. 

I close my eyes and imagine this-
Paradise in a place full of bliss. 

World peace in a piece of the world.
Without loss and bombs never hurled. 

Snow that falls that doesn't freeze.
Sun that shines that doesn't cease. 

A land where "The forever" is real.
A scene where the sick always heal.

Life with infinite love, like gusts in the wind.
Two little doves, with eternities to spend. 

God has a plan, fool-proof to the core. 
Now Granddad's with him, a reward of much more. 

-Yours Truly


Details | Elegy | |

Where are you

You flourished and blurred
like a spark on wind

Gracefully and quickly like a frightened hind
in pursuit of light

You harvested through bushy meadows
taken by blight

In struggle with plight
had you lost your might

And gave out
although never you gave up.

Where are you?
For you must be still there.

For I still can feel you
somewhere in the air.


Details | Free verse | |

Final Adieu

Final Adieu

Let another sun set,
Let another flower wilt,
Let another autumn cast its gloom,
Let another tear role,
As ye part, and bid
The final adieu.

Suyash Saxena
St. Stephen’s college


Details | Ballad | |

You're Just A Stranger

Why do you despise me
why can't you let me be,
how come you always pestering me.
How come you can not see
I am beginning to turn my love away from thee
Just as you are turning your hate on me.

I proceed biting my words back 
and just nodding my head
you think i am the one to blame
but you'll end up losing me instead.
I try to talk to you, but you
cut me out and shut your ears
where will this get us
in fifteen or so years.
 
You bring down the pressure
while i try to do as you say
Only until i lose, you win
will you stop yelling and walk away.

Here i sit, expressing my stress on paper
only hoping tomorrow will bring
something better
and that i won't lose my life forever.
Please forgive me 
for this paper may be wet with tears
I know this is a stage in life,
I pray will pass in a few years. 

As i write my anger fades
but when i think about you it returns
I hope we both learn from this
For I may lack empathy
but you are always so very stern.
It seems everything I do
has gotten on your nerves
And I know you don't hold it inside
For your anger does surly splurge.

Tonight you have taken my phone
and cut me off from my friends I truly need
your words hit me hard,
and to you I can not plead.
Someday I may realize
what you did was probably right
I will try to understand,
I will try with all my might.
But until that day
or until through my eyes you see,
You are still a stranger
You're just a stranger to me.

Nov. 21. 2011


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear little sister from another mister

You’ve been thrown left and right,
Crying to yourself every night,
Thinking all has gone wrong,
& you won’t be giving up after long..
You’ve been heartbroken 
One
Two many times:
From old boyfriends,
To lies;
Father walked out,
Baby killed by mistake;
Your mom has disowned you,
But she still shows you lust…
Everybody knows the truth,
The pain that you do not choose;
They see what you show,
But see me…
I, T’Keyah Wilder,
I already know…
You’ve raped and thrown from left to right;
Crying to yourself every night;
Everybody saying they understand,
But you know you’re the only
One who knows your pain ;
On this land…
It’s a matter of time, 
Before you kill yourself,
Stressing yourself,
Hurting you and everyone else;
Blaming yourself for,
Mistakes not purposely made;
Crying every time you feel like you just got 
Laid,
You want the true love,
Love shown from the heart;
Honestly,
Coming from your big sister; 
I think you need a fresh start,
Easing your pain with nicotine;
I’m surprised you’re not 
Sippin lean…
I know it may be hard,
To forget about the past,
But there’s one thing;
I must ask from you and I 
Want this to last;
Promise me, you’ll try your best
To stress less,
& pray more…
Listen to God;
Put him above…
All;
We’re not close like we used to be,
But you know I’m just a phone call,
Away…
Not far from you..
But I wish you’d  realize,
This too…
Stressing is not working,
Cause death, the devil, lies,
& fear are lurking..
Promise me;
You’ll try to be the best you can be…
Dear Little Sister from another Mister!
<3 RiP auntie bby ; djF .


Details | Lyric | |

Forever Changed

June 18, 2013 our world was Forever Changed
We where over halfway home
When we got the call from our baby sister

Said we need to get back home
We need to come as fast as we can drive
Mom really needs us
Something’s wrong with Daddy
The whole way we drove 80
Hoping & Praying we’d make it in time

Our Family & Friends were weeping 
By the time we got to his side
We knew our Daddy had been taking
And our hearts they were breaking
We never got to say Goodbye
We each softly kissed that man
We four sisters climbed in his bed 
We laid down beside him 
And cried just like babies
For our world was Forever Changed 
 
 


Details | Rhyme | |

If I Had One Wish

So many thoughts come to mind If only I could really go back in time Change or undo my life’s violent and sexual crimes Tell those around me to open their eyes Pay Attention to the signs If only one wish could really rewind Those pedophilic hands of my life-time… Then I stopped and started to think Who would I be if this didn’t happen to me? What of the woman I’d come to be The wisdom I’d come to see And my children who’s lives are abuse free As a result of my past… my history… Now, with eyes wide and mind free Heart pounding, air, LOVE and life in me Blessed with children to change my legacy, Equipped with words and strength to share my story… my poetry I’d wish only to open the eyes of the blind The mouths of the abused and the hearts of our society… I’d make them see… I’d make them see So no other child has to end up like me… Lay
** For the "If I Had One Wish Contest"


Details | Kyrielle | |

Raven's End

I know that taking my life is a sin,
But you don’t know how much pain I am in;
Death is better than this hell I’ve been through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

My tortured soul robs me of breath,
All I seek is the release of death;
Requesting redemption in the gun I cling to,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

I’m considering briefly the life I must end,
Nothing is left but the chance to transcend;
And this decaying body that I pass through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

Raven they named me, but now they are gone,
I’m all alone since they both passed on;
Soon I will see them, it’s long overdue,
God grant me mercy for what I must do;

I beg for forgiveness as I let myself go,
Tears trickle down as I feel my heart slow;
Hopefully now I’ll get to see you,
So God grant me mercy for what I must do.


Tirzah Conway
~For the contest "Among the Dead"~


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Listen




Listen for I will only say this once,you don't seem to understand you've created a damaging wall.
Listen for I will only say this twice,your heart and mind are cold for you have numb you emotions.
Listen for I will only say this last time,you heart plays to a sad tune.
Where are you now? Because you mine is somewhere else.
Could you hold onto them ? For it's not to late,like it is for us.
Don't worry,leave those sorrows behind and release that part of yourself. Be kind,be gently,and speak gently.
Don't let your two piece tongue be your shield for that's your downfall.Do you know who I am? Of course not.You who have put up road blocks which is why I say this with swollen heart.Break that wall of fear.
Listen for I will only say this once,break that wall of fear.
Listen for I will only say this twice,there  more warmth in other then alone.
Listen for I tell you this the last time,make the sad tune into something vibrate.
I say this because I love you enough to say this,the past is past tomorrow tomorrow but we only can take what we get today.


Details | Quatrain | |

My Great Grandpa

Great Grandpa Zerbst, I wish was here
I'd like him still around
He had a herd of Hereford cows
His farmin' sense was sound

He passed away when I was young
I'd only seen him twice
But even though his life was rough
I'm sure that he was nice

At first, he had some horse-drawn rigs
To grow his crop of wheat
A tractor then, in place of them
That had a metal seat

He had a herd of ninety cows
A huge Wyomin' spread
But now a herd of oil-rigs
Are drillin' in their stead

A lot of things Great Grandpa knew
From distant Germany
But now these things I wish I knew
Are buried 'neath a tree


Details | Free verse | |

My Future Generation

I can act insane
But DO NOT 
Make me feel worthless

I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation

Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee 

I can act like an
Adult, but I’d 
Prefer to have joy…

Not stress…
That piles upon us in our 
Everyday lives

Being childlike is

A rare beauty – 

No one prizes it…

No one came across it…

In this lifetime…

I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my 
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine

Renew my young heart
Give me the ability 
To kill the old man…

I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified 
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs  
By my future generation

I beg of you – 
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy

I’ll still have pieces of a child in me

And pass it on to my future generation…


Details | Rhyme | |

Time to Go in loving memory of my mother

My mom was a strong woman, and stubborn too,
Yet she had a soft side, between me and you.
That side she would show, when you least expected,
But let me tell you, she was well respected.

Mom was quite unique, and was one of a kind,
She was set in her ways, so keep that in mind.
The youngest of nine, she had gotten her way,
Spoiled by her siblings’, almost every day.

Right out of high school, she had married my dad,
Blessed with three children, plus fifty years they had.
They both were hard workers, in all that they did,
My dad taught himself, from when he was a kid.

My mom was a smoker, for forty-six years,
Some day it would happen, she’d face all her fears.
Lung cancer she had, and inoperable too,
Her time on this earth, would be shortened we knew.

Radiation and Chemo, had done their thing,
Remission set in, tears of joy it did bring.
We would go out at night, to shop and to talk,
I knew she enjoyed, getting out for a walk.

Two years had gone by, after Thanksgiving Day,
Her pain had returned, but was afraid to say.
She’d lie on the couch; it was strength she did lack,
We knew in our hearts, that the cancer came back.

We shared lots of laughter, but many a tear,
I tried to assure her, she’d nothing to fear.
“Please watch over your dad, this one thing I ask.”
“I know it will be, quite a difficult task.”

One morning in March, Hospice called us to say,
You may want to come, for she’s slipping away.
For the night before, mom told me to stay home,
“Be there for your kids, you can call me by phone.”

When we all arrived, for a moment she woke,
Her eyes said it all, not a word had she spoke.
We stayed by her bedside, just holding her hand,
“It’s time to let go mom, we all understand”.

A few days had passed, not ready to let go,
For it had been raining, but letting up slow.
The sun began shining, the clouds disappeared,
Opening the heavens, for mom’s time has neared.

We gathered together, her forehead we kissed,
Whispering so softly, how much she’d be missed.
“Your time has arrived mom, just follow the light”,
She left us so peaceful, she gave up her fight.

It was time to drive home, in the car we got,
Then something had happened, while leaving the lot.
Huge drops of rain falling, it had to be fate.
They were tears of joy; she was at heaven’s gate.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Very Inviting Temptation

A Very Inviting Temptation! I remember of a particular situation. I was offered a very "inviting" temptation. The situation I was in... I didn't belong! And lost any sense of "right and wrong." At first... I felt no guilt or shame. And brought embarrassment to my family's name. I tried to explain this to my wife and kids. I heard; "Dad... please... no more fibs!" The Godly principles were "tossed to the side," As the sin inside caused arrogance and pride. Soon, all in my life that truly mattered... Was gone! My life was empty and shattered! I was sorry for all of the problems I caused! This time... I took a moment to pause. I cried to God to rescue me from my sin. I confessed! Would God help me once again? I read in the Bible of Jesus’ grace and love! This time the help I needed had to come from above! I asked him for a fresh and brand new start. He removed the stain from a broken heart. He restored to me the joy I once had. I'm so blessed! Jesus has made me glad! Jesus is the reason I'm here today! I LOVE HIM more than words can say! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Epic | |

Late Night New

Sitting in a chair and watching a movie I get a phone call,
She's dead, my little sister tells me, and I drop the ball.
you are really gone, I can't believe how this can happen,
You didn't have to go, I wish I could of dropped in. 

Hearing and seeing all the tears that are being poured out for you is very sad,
This day will be remembered in yours and you two little angels forever and that's not bad. 
Not being able to see you any more will be hard but ill think of something to occupy my self,
But till than tho, shine bright for our God and save me a crown a big shelf.


Dedication to: Alina Bukhanstova and her two little angels. 

PS: R.I.P, you will be missed.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Witnesses To Sinners



I can't hear the words as they come from my mouth
I can't hear the screams as they work their way out
As I write all is seen is a blur and blank moment and
Once recovered sensed the words were written,not 
Even a look to see what was written only to know it
Was there.Sleepless night,taunt  filled faces horde my
Dreams.Have this made me fall so low no longer am I
Am I able to stand on my own to feet.How many times 
Will you make me cry before claiming only to being a 
Witness in a crime,your crime. Putting on that face
Working the crowds with amazing easily,how I hate you
Yes all the thing I think about revolve around you.
How many times have I witness myself wound my self
With your blade? As though under a spell doing as order
Without a cry to the world what made me so diligent ?
But no longer can you be a witness,No longer can I be 
A witness to these crimes that been committed.Be us both
Sinners be us both lovers be that we both be cursed 
We shall witness our sins become whole and the love in
Which we share spread further and further like the flames 
Of hades. May there be peace for sinners in the next world.
We are both witnesses and at the same time 
We are both sinners one day to become consumed by our
Own darkness how far will we fall until that moment comes?
May we be good may we be bad may we fall may we live may 
May we die or carry on we are the Witnesses We are the Sinners
To this world and the next.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | I do not know? | |

Family Matters

In the attic, above wooden floor,
through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door,
near the broken window and glass of the sore,
hiding in the shadows,
bloodstains on the wall.

 Number nine,
house at the end of the street,
where lights are low,
where silent never sleep.


Details | Narrative | |

Reminiscence

Prologue:
For whoever think story telling is that easy,
Would properly from this hilarious incident,
scene or whatever you might call it, would know is not.

                             *****************

Just some couple of months ago, I was invited
by a friend who knows me too well, back then in 
school as a funny guy and story teller and so he taught this
night, that his grand pa (who is a famous story teller 
of his village) had fall sick, I would be in a better position
to cover up for his father's so called responsibility
to his people. "For he (my friend's father, Williams) is a good story teller.
But what about me who has never faced 
the ample crowd with my 'cripple' tale unless sharing it with friends?" I mumbled.

In the middle of this enigma, my friend, John called me to the hot seat
to tell my tale to the unbearable crowd of adolescence. 

"God why am I here this day... But it shouldn't have been this day" I retorted.
The barbarian noise from the seats infront of me showed that truly I was 
in the middle of something and not lost...

"Uncle tell us a story!... Brother tell us a story!" the crowd shouted.

This day, I needed a free moment but they couldn't let me be.
"Once upon a time" they heard me said and they all resited.
" I am sorry, I am sorry let me restart it all over again".

Now in old man's voice, I told my tale before them:

"Once upon a time,
In our mothers' womb, when she
Ate, we ate. Goodnight!"

They all cannot but burst to laughter while I stood and walked to the room with my 
shame.
                                   
                                *****************

Anything after good night means nothing more till the next day.
Maybe I escaped the night by dissatisfying the emotions of those children,
in that scene, what about my friend? 
"Have I not brought shame to John's family? Did I do the 
right thing that full moon night?". My heart beats!

                               *****************

Epilogue:
Not even do the audience remember or care to ask me: (In kid's voice)
"What if my mother do not eat while in my pregnancy, what will happen to her?" or 
probably care to tell me: (Back to old man's voice) "What lesson they have derived from 
the tale before their departure... Oh! No sorry, my bashful departure from their sight." 

Note: The tale: "Once upon....Goodnight!" is a Haiku form of poetry.  
 














Details | Rhyme | |

Is It God We Trust Or Leave In the Dust

Is It God We Trust? Or Leave In the Dust? As our courts remove God from this great nation. We are left with a confused and lost generation! As God is taken away from our public schools. A huge tide of immorality is what “rules.” The Bible is often mocked and discarded. It was on it’s principles this country was started! Just about anything of God seems to get scorned. So many “rush” to worship many ungodly forms. As God’s name is often tossed and thrown out. We tend to forget what HE is all about! Too often, his plans for living are tossed and abused. No wonder, there’s many who are lost and confused! As people forget God and worship the fallen creature. They look to themselves and “glorify” their features. Many ignore God, and get involved in deep addictions. And with this, come disease, heartache and afflictions! As God looks and sees this nation “bleeding.” It’s his righteousness, that we need to be seeking! If we would humble ourselves, he would hear our prayer! He loves all of us! And he really does care! Won’t you come to HIM, And invite him in? Won’t you allow him to be your master and friend? He brings strength and nourishment to the soul! It’s only in him that we can be made whole! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

The Never Ending Battle

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

JS Lambert



Details | Lyric | |

TO PAPA -Through the eyes of his little girl

Through the eyes of this little girl, to her Papa, no one could compare
Always dashing in grey and navy suits with a white shrt and burgundy tie
How she'd stare in awe, wide-eyed; her little face turn upward in gaze
With a deep, stern voice he corrected, yet, with soft eyes, and warm hugs he consoled
The world demands so much from a man and sometimes he was not perfect
His bane was his good looks and a kind and honest heart
During his younger years he struggled, yet his love for his family stayed true
He was proud man in many ways and kept his promise to God and his wife
Througout the years of struggle, he never left his queen in thirty-five years

"Papa", one of God's creations by special design-fire and ice-compassionate and kind, 
Those who dared to cross him learned a lesson everytime
Through extraordinary battles, some won and others lost 
Each challenge imposed, he rose and met-a remarkable feat!

Then came one day, with his final battle raging, in some world beyond our eyes
His body racked and worn with pain, Papa was sent home to say good bye
My "Papa" stood tall one last time- and chose life with his Creator!


Details | Senryu | |

'For Colored Girls --- Toxic Love'


his love so toxic his dream became her nightmare distraught mother begs helpless onlookers suspended from the window he just let them go he killed their children helpless as her tears roll down her will to live gone ©291220112215 *just to clear up the confusion this is actually written for Andrea's movie contest!!*


Details | Rhyme | |

Grandma's Faded Dreams

Dad’s mother never recognized me
She would just lie in bed before a TV
And I always wondered why she blankly stared
At a screen filled with snowy images, as if she never cared

In my childhood years, I couldn’t relate
How grandma had reached this dreadful state
I thought of her as oblivious and introverted
But she’d been that way since her husband deserted

Dad was but four and his sister one
When the family unit came undone
There were times grandma would glance at photos by her bed
Faded images of ancestors long dead

It wasn’t until I was twelve years old
On a Christmas Day with temperatures cold
That my father received the distressing call
And down his face a tear did fall

The call from a half-brother he’d never known
Bore a message that chilled Dad to the bone
“Our father’s gone,” this stranger said
Dad turned and related, “Your grandfather’s dead.”

At the funeral we met uncles Bob and Tom
Upon viewing the casket, we strove to remain calm
This man who looked so much like Dad
Had remarried without divorcing, yet we were sad

A bigamist who’d left his wife to waste away
Heavy on my heart, grandma’s plight did weigh
Now I knew why her mind had been cast adrift
And why through old memories she’d always sift

Dad treated grandma with compassion and respect
But upon her death, Dad did reflect
On his only childhood memory of joy
A trip with his father to Coney Island for a four-year-old boy


*Entry for Carol’s “Memories of Grandma or Grandpa” contest


Details | Tanka | |

kash flower





kash flower changing the horizon not for the first time this autumn festival without my Dad ========000======== *Google 'kash flower' ========000========


Details | Lyric | |

Over The Bridge

It is here I am safe
It is here that I know
but over the bridge 
Is where I must go

The bridge that gives passage
over quick muddy water
though why I say that
I don't know why I bother

over the bridge 
is a tall oak tree
and standing beneath it
is someone waving at me

crossing the bridge 
I see a man standing there
with paint splatered pants
and a head of white hair

looking closer I see 
exactly who's there
I see it's my papa
and I can't help but stare

I run right toward him 
and give him a hug
I ask how he got here
his response is a shrug

it's then I remember 
the fact that he'd died
it's then I remember
the tears that i'd cried

I ask how it felt
when he had died
he then looks at me 
and he promptly replied

he calmed all my fears
about what lies boyond
then he looks up 
because the suns almost gone

he says I must go
before the sun sets
but I don't want to leave
I'm not quite ready yet

he gives me a hug 
before I go
then tells me I can't share
the things I now know

I give a quick nod 
looking up at the sky
I don't understand
but I don't have time to ask why

turning around 
I try not to cry
I just cross the bridge 
when the sun leaves the sky

I turn back to look
one last time at the tree
but my papa is gone
as was meant to be



 


Details | Elegy | |

On The Road To Heaven { Mom's Elegy }

<                    We are gathered here today to celebrate Bernadine Goerlich's life
                      Though taken from us to soon she has now risen to be with the Lord
                      Do not fret for greif and sorrow shall pass too
                      Let us bow our heads and pray 
                      In thy name of the Father Son And Holy Spirit  {Amen }

                      At the tender age of 70 she lived her life to the fullest
                      Raising a family of 10 she always had an xtra room
                      For she loved her God family friends and her beloved pets
                      And even heard of her always baking cakes cookies pies and italian foods
                      She really must of had her hands full with 5 boys and 5 girls

                      For Lord please cradle her in your everlasting arms
                      Wash away her sins and lift her spirit to you
                      For she has earned her wings of golden tone
                      And  now can rejoiced with her own Father and Mother
                      In God's jubliee Kingdom  Let us pray {Amen]


Entry For
Dr. Ram's
Elegy Contest
G.L. All



In Loving Memory Of Mom
{1934 - 2005 }


Details | Ballad | |

Capricorn, the mountain climber

Capricorn the mountain climber

The goat he is relentless
He'll cimb the higest hill
Just a wee bit at a time
With his gigantic will
He tends to take life seriously
But he can laugh at his own self
This man will try to seek his fortune
And accumulate some wealth.

He be the father of this Earth
He likes to take control
And sometimes he will be considered
As drab, and often dull
He's reliable, you can count on him
When you need to get things done
He'll often work so very hard
He'll forget to have some fun.

He has a lot of patience
And he can put his mind
A hundred percent on anything
And him you'll often find
Working out some problem
Until he gets it right
And for the people in his life
He'll put up quite a fight.

23 September 2013 @ 1422hrs.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Fatherless Child

There once was a day I would watch every airplane.
Praying you was on it to come take me away.
As a child I wanted you around until the day, you actually came.
The day you came is the day my life forever changed.
I remember as if it was yesterday when you physically violated me.
Mental visions as early as the age of eight, but old enough to vociferate.
Visualizing mental pictures in my mind while I am awake very aware of the improper abuse I take.
Your body on me feels something like an autopsy of a dead body.
While you lay on top of me as you press aggressively on me.
Against my will your force kept me still.
I am trying to understand if you recognize who I am.
I try to say no hoping you can comprehend; I am weakling as you apprehend.
Mentally and physically I became involuntarily your property. 
A main character in a horror story, and you were my predatory.
I asked “God why?” as I bare to stare into his eyes.
This is not thee love I seek; all I wanted was my father to love me, but not like this injustice of violation of my rights.
This love is not real; not the love I wished to feel.
As he tries to stick his tongue into my mouth too young to know what this is all about.
I grip my lips painfully tight as he tries to slip his tongue inside.
I close them tighter with all my might, as he whispers, “let me love you right” 
I beg him to leave as he pried my legs open with his knees my insides scream “somebody please help me!”
As he whispers how much he loves me I’m praying for God to just kill me.
I rather be dead then a man’s punching bag.
As I lay there my body was dead, and I laid my soul to rest.
I looked around the room and seen the Old Spice on the desk the same fragrance he wore around his neck.
The sun began to rise as he began to close my thighs.
In that moment in time I had made up my mind any man that ever say they love me was just telling lies.
I learned the hard way that love does not kill your inside; love does not take your pride.
A fatherless child I shall forever reside.
Every day that passes that little eight-year-old girl dies slowly inside.
Asking Jesus,” Why permit this?” and he slowly whispers…as I gently whimpers, “faith is the light that guide you through the darkness, my words reflecting as a lamp unto my feet.”
“Walk unto my path I’m here to carry the weak, come into me you are weary and overburdened. I will carry the pain you have obtained.”
“I am your father and you are my child you are never fatherless because I’m always around.”


Details | Ballad | |

A Better Life...

A Better Life

I don't know why she hides,
I don't know why she shivers,
I don't know why she cries,
I don't know why she quivers,

Daddy's girl is all alone,
And I don't know how to help her,
Daddy's world is all but blown,
And I don't know what to tell her,

What happened to her confidence,
And her self assured way,
Which used to be so prominent,
In all she did or would say,

Who stole my little girl’s heart,
And drove her to such confusion,
She now slowly does her part,
As if all she has is illusion,

She knows I would kill any other man,
For doing such harm to my little girl,
But this is much more than I can stand,
As it has forever blown apart my world,

They took ‘steps’ to the next level,
And now they each look to me in despair,
I warned them each to be careful,
But the forbidden fruit they shared,

Now I look at one without trust,
Yet I still love my son so very much,
I still hold her distant as I must,
But she needs Daddy’s healing touch,

Why do I have to be the bad guy,
When my children need my help,
I pushed one out and I still cry,
While I can't help her help herself,

There is no way to win here,
And my tears won't stop falling,
I have lost them both I fear,
And my fears won't stop calling,

I don’t know what to do anymore,
Or how I can help either of them,
Both children my heart cries out for,
But the truth is neither can win, 

And for this my darling kids,
I am so sorry I can’t decide,
Which to disown or which to kiss,
When I am actually on both your sides,

So I pray that both her and him,
Of whom I am so very proud,
Do not give up and become victims,
Who wear this pain like a shroud,

I pray both of you hear my advice,
Get over this hardship and understand,
This lesson with its terrible price,
Is one where you do as best you can,

To forgive and move on from here,
Without Dad having to choose a side,
And to let go of all that you fear,
If you want to grow to have a better life.


Details | Couplet | |

Mr Wonderful

A broken promise, demoralized man who is incapable of being true, 	
A thoughtless coward, oblivious clown, this is what I think of you,

A woeful chicken, a runaway guy is how you're now portrayed,
A selfish critter, a prideful morsel is the reputation you have made,

When flesh spoils in a slaughter house the smell of you comes to mind,
For your manipulation has made you completely colorblind,

In your mothers soil you were the bad seed,
As you grew up we realized you were just a weed,

A fragmentation, with no revelation is who you really are,
A scab that stopped healing, the beggar who keeps on stealing, now just another scar,

A predicable cycle, a sick little mess, a hidden agenda that isn’t well dressed,
A miserable liar, disposable fool, too bad you weren’t like an infertile mule,

Just like a wolf, you would consume your own,
For apparently humanity was something you were never shown,

Just like wild animals that abandon their first litter,
You fit right in, you unoriginal quitter.

By: Sabina Nicole
Written:9/29/11
Contest:Angry


Details | Rhyme | |

Greatly Missed

A Fathers touch, A Daddy's kiss,
 A grieving Daughter, You're greatly missed.
 
An empty house, An empty chair,
 A fathers love, No longer there.
 
A broken heart, Tear filled eye,
 Another soul to fill the sky.
 
Many memories in my mind,
 Some I laugh, Some I cry.
 
The times we shared, The laughs we had,
 Things I miss when I think of you Dad.
 
Realizing that's all I have to hold on too,
 Only memories, Of what once was you.
 
Missing your laugh, I will never again hear.
 That is the reality that fills me with so much fear.
 
No more smile on your face,
 No more warmth of your embrace.
 
The last hug, The last kiss,
 The last "goodbye" leaves me with one last wish...
 
To have you Dad, here today,
 Never to leave your Daughter this way.
 
A Father's touch, A Daddy's kiss,
 A grieving Daughter, YOU'RE GREATLY MISSED!


Details | Quatrain | |

Fallen Victim

I have fallen victim so many times
To nobody's fault except only mine.
I will ask for forgiveness and have faith,
Even though I feel like I am not saved.


Details | I do not know? | |

CHALLENGE

Day and night,
I think about the truth,
Behind those hidden curtains,
Trying hard to understand,
How He thinks and do things,
Why is that that our mind so small,
Its hard for us to think beyond? 
Why did He made everything complicated for us?

I sat down my dad called,
To make me face the reality,
My heart started beating fast,
And tears run down my cheeks,
As if there was hail,
I didn't know what to say,
He told me he might not last long,
How am I going to see him?
He is on the other-side of the world?
I am worried about him,
I wish I could die with the people who I love,
I am scared to loose them
And the hard part is I dont know my dad,
I miss him!

I feel like time is close by,
And I didn't live my life as if I wish to,
I can't because things are not the same,
When I see an apple on the tree,
It feels like blood dropping beside my eyes,
I feel strange in this world,
I don't think or see the things I used to,
I stand amongst people who are changed,
In a bad way and yet the worst hasn't begun!

I can't even write my poems the same,
I can't make it rhyme anymore,
I feel like I am all alone in this,
I feel like this is a big challenge,
And I am lost in middle of no where,
I feel like nobody understands,
When the words come out my mouth,
All they hear is bluh! bluh! bluh!
I am disparate to find someone who I can talk to,
Yet I am scared to trust anybody,
I been hurt so many times,

I dont even know how to end this poem if you called it,
I have so much anger that is in me,
That no matter what I say there is still more,
That will never end,
One thing I know is I hate to be here,
And live in a place full of strangers, selfish liars, and untrusted people!


Details | Rhyme | |

Rough deal

Sometimes, without warning, time rewinds.
Memories of you, play through my mind.
Many tears, have been cried.
By those, you left behind........


While gazing at the sky.
I heard his sigh.
As I looked into, serious little eyes.
He whispered," Why did my dad, have to die?"

Somehow, you always knew.
Your years on earth, would be few.
Many times, you spoke of what to do. 
Just in case, something happened to you.

While trying to comfort our son. 
His words, continued to come.
I soon realized, It's something you already done.
As he speaks of, the man he will become.

He knows, some dads live in the sky.
They watch their sons, from way up high.
Yes He knows, you saw him, learn to tie.
And that you'll always be proud, of your little guy.


In this life, he left his mark.
Our little son, the king of hearts.
Hes my lite, In the dark.
Father and son love, will never part.


Details | Elegy | |

Tears of the Broken

Introduction: At some point of our lives, someone close to us departs off to the next
phase. We think of the good times and try not to think the bad; but sometimes it haunts us
back to how we responded in a naive way for our juvenile wishes. And sometimes we see them
in our dreams at the utmost optimism and glory. But the fact that we get to realize what
we did back then may have cherished and broken their souls in some ways, we always wonder
if we could alter the deeds that wounded their affection in our times of immaturity…And
pray that we get a second chance to do so for our next life. *the first two lines have some inspiration from another piece*



Even if our hearts were as strong as a storm, we’d still feel a little bit sad Knowing that we’ve lost our grandfather, our friend, our dad. For so many years, we’ve felt their presence In so many ways, we’ve felt complete, But truly, even if we deny – We sometimes skip a heartbeat. Our lives are nothing but their memories and their art, Orbiting us each day, reminding us of who we are Where we stand and to whom we belong, We pray and cry up oceans for them night after night Praying to be together just one more time, in the worlds of light. But yes you are so fortunate, that you got to leave, You’ve made it to the greater step, I pray for us to meet. May your soul be blessed and may it shine brighter than the sun, Again and again ‘I love you’ it’s not a lie, I may not have said it that much But I hope you knew inside, even if I may have been unkind as such Nothing is left for us to do but feel the tears stream down our eyes For we, once in a while have broken their hearts with one or two lies, Their face glows and vividly fades away from our dreams those nights That’s when we fall, fall down to our knees, pray for we could have changed The ways we reacted back in those days. Thoughts of those moments, thoughts of their sorrow smile Now makes us realize how we never cared, For that to overcome, we treasure the good times we’ve shared, The times we’ve heard them say “You’ve made me proud” The times we’ve felt them lay their hands, oh so be crowned. Their tender touch, their forgiveness Their blessings for us and their happiness, We pray to feel it all again Bring it all again, To the eternal life, after this time.


Details | Free verse | |

The Day my Daughters Grow Up

Yesterday
I could see their births as if it was just
Yesterday
A time when all I knew was love 
Yesterday
I’d no thought for tomorrow, just the day
Yesterday
How they changed the world in every way
Yesterday

Little smiles
How they melted this man, their father’s heart
Little girls
How they instantly became a needed part
Little hands
That held tightly to the palm of mine
Little babies
How they’ll always be this man’s sunshine
Little girls

But when they grow up
 I’ll be so sad…
My world will then lose 
the babies I had…
I’ll have just the memories 
of their touch…
The day my daughters… 
grow up…

Maybe
They’ll never fall in love with any boy
Maybe
But, then they’ll never learn of all that joy
Maybe 
They’ll wait until they reach old forty two
Maybe
But, that’s a dream that won’t come true
Maybe

But when they grow up
 I’ll be so sad…
My world will then lose 
the babies we had…
I’ll have just the memories 
of their touch…
The day my daughters… 
grow up…

One day I will walk them down the aisle
They’ll look at me with that little girl smile
I’ll do everything to hold back the tears
Forced by the memories of all their years

The day my daughters… 
grow up…

One day
When I am old and they come to visit me
One day
I’ll still see them as kids, though with families
One day
Despite age, they’ll always be my little girls
One day
Is every day that I’m alive in this world
One day

The day my daughters… 
grow up…
Is the day, 
I’ll grow up…too


Details | Free verse | |

The old man

just as everything is in its place 
the cracked pitcher in the cellar’s window 
the maize porridge pot amid the verandah flowers 
the knife sharpener in the kitchen table’s drawer 
the squared clock hung slanting on the wall 

day after day the old man 
takes off the straw hat from its hook even if it’s cloudy 
pulls it down on his head with both hands 
opens the street gate till it hits the wall 
upright like a thistle he looks down the road 

under the hat colored like an autumn sun 
it gets warmer 
his face furrows overturn a smile 
as if the moist earth sliced by the old times plough 
under the steps of sons grandsons and great-grandsons


Details | Epic | |

Statutory Rape 101

Everybody knows that it's against the law for grown men and grown women to date all of the underage boys and girls,. let alone a 14-year-old boy or a 15-year-old girl. The law also states that any adult who tries to have this so-called "intimate sexual relationship" with any of the underage boys and/or girls would likely go to jail for a period of time and upon release, they'll have to be register sex offenders for the rest of their lives. It seems that those teen girls would rather date men in their 20's or 30s than guys their age and those teen boys would rather date women twice their age than girls their age, as well. but luckily, their parents (the mothers and the fathers) are here to prevent these so-called "May-December" relationships from ever happening, especially when they're protecting their teenage offspring from dirt-bags like these would-be pedophiles. But no matter what the parents do, no matter how hard they try, their teen sons and/or daughters, they secretly continuing dating older men/older women, even at night (midnight, 2 am, or 3 in the morning, e.g.). And the next thing everybody knows, their parents, they will have found out about it; thereby finding them in bed with the adults; their parents should make multiple police reports and pud the cradle robbers behind bars for good. Boy this is starting to look like an episode of "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (Season 6-Episode 19-Intoxicated featuring Danielle Panabaker) and an episode of "Snapped," especially when Sarah Johnson killed her own parents in cold blood because she was afraid that the late Mr. and Mrs. Alan and Diane Johnson would send this guy name Bruno Santos to prison or have him deported back to Mexico for statutory rape (by way of dating a then-16-year-old girl). There's no way that those teen boys and teen girls are ever going to get into a bunch of serious, intimate relationships with a bunch of would-be cradle-robbing adults. They need to concentrate on their education and they need to be with guys and girls their age. I mean, one teen boy dating a n adult female? One teen girl dating an older man? My God, their parents will be seriously upset about this. Who on Earth would be dumb enough to fall for an older woman or an older man? And if these would-be pedophiles in the form of grown men and women even attempt to rob these teen boys and girls of their innocence and whatnot, the parents are going to have a problem up in here.


Details | Rhyme | |

Jesus My Life Is One HUGE Embarrassment


For many years... My life has been an embarrassment! Filled with hopelessness and discouragement! Many things I thought I had enjoyed... Have left in me... A large and empty void! Many nights, I would cry myself to sleep. Knowing the hole my life was in, was very, very deep. Then one day, I called out to God! I wasn’t sure if he’d listen! My family, my old church, I was now missin'. My family prayed for me for so many years. I often brought them embarrassment and tears. God... I tried everything else... I want to come back to you! I need you now Jesus! I really do! Please come into my heart, and cleanse me within! Set me free from all addictions and sin! I know that you will never let go of my hand. My whole life, on your word, I shall now stand. Only you can satisfy the emptiness in my soul! I am now complete, satisfied, and made whole! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

For Men Everywhere One Billion Rising

1 Billion Rising.

For Men Everywhere.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

Stop!

Stop the abuse!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Listen!

Listen to the voices!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Think!

Think of how you treat,

grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Act!

Act now to change yourself!

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when you stop,

the violence,
the abuse,
the rape.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

is perpetrated by,

grand-fathers,
colleagues,
boyfriends,
husbands,
nephews,
brothers,
partners,
fathers,
uncles,

men,

all men.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when us men stop,

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

today, now.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!


Details | Rhyme | |

The Ugliness Of Divorce


My parents taught me the Christian ways.
I was taught to obey what the Bible says.

I was proud of my parents!  I really was!
And loved them so much…  Just because!

They meant everything to me!  I was proud!
Until one day...  There appeared “a dark cloud.”

It was like a “darkness” hovered above.
Leaving their marriage empty of needed love!

Though they were together many years.
There were many cracks that soon appeared.

I say a once happy home soon destroyed.
Being with one another….  They no longer enjoyed!

How could this happen! I had wondered…
To see a happy marriage “totally plundered

As sin crept in...  And allowed to prevail.
Very soon this marriage simply failed.

May this be a warning for me and you…
That our commitment remains faithful and true!

If your marriage is heading toward separation…
Please seek God for a healing and restoration!

If your planning to have a divorce..
Jesus’ love can put it on the right course!

He can replace the brokenness and hurt within..
And can put your lives back together AGAIN!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Elegy | |

My Kashmir Burns (Part 1)

I picture Kashmir through lightened KL. News of another massacre darkens my eyes
Winds are thirsty there. They continue to taste the young blood.
I groom myself with exquisite things,
Sipping ice tea in ac room, I comfort myself
And Kashmir burns. Kashmir set ablaze

I can smell the warm blood of beaten corpse
Where from winds bought this smell. Somewhere Karbala reborn.
Mosques are being slammed
There windows stoned. And the black boots leave their footprints on Mimber
Even God judges on evidence
There is one Imaam left now; he hides her daughters in his shadow
A blunt knife in his hands; soon he will sacrifice them to keep their innocence
Kashmir is burning. Kashmir is bleeding
And I write.

Army jeep chases the tracks. To find the associated bodies
They are alive now. Soon they will be dead
From Patan to Sopor, And in narrow passages of nostalgic downtown
Ghosts of curfew
Haunt the houses for young souls.

From the Kupwara cantonments, search lights chase emptiness
Nothing is left now. Search lights can’t see inside the graves
A boy there went missing for two days. His father starts digging his grave.
I put my earphones on and I close my eyes. I sleep
While my Kashmir is ablaze
“It’s me poor farmer’s son. Kupwara’s charm, I feel no pain”.
I see him so alive in my dreams.
He chants songs of Mahjoor from his burnt lips. My hands shiver. He has no finger nails.
I see his smoke tanned skin. Same as that of Khayam’s barbeques
He stands at a distance from me. I can still smell kerosene
“Tell my mother to let her heart become cold. Her heart will not bear my state.
Tell my mother to let her eyes become blind. Her eyes will not withstand my sight.”
I follow him towards his tortured body. He tells me to follow the spilled blood.
His blood has made its own Jhelum. I row on it. Until it gets lost in black boots
The story will turn into legend. I find his body no more.

On the streets silence prevails. Nobody has permission to wail.
Sisters are beatifying coffins while brothers look for stones.
For bullets there will be stones
Kashmir is ablaze. She is wailing in grotesque tones.
In Lal Ded hospital a new born cries: Father register me at cantonment then take me out
Death is recruiting in dozens at a time.
Tomorrow is curfew. Death has no curfew pass.
How they want to identity you. Becomes your identity
People burn up all you identity cards.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Dad

My dad passed away when I was nine
That it didn't make me feel fine
I have pictures of him
Which always makes me grin
I have some memories
But not so many
I miss him everyday and night
Which I think of him with delight
He was way to young
For him to be gone
It's been so long ago since he left us so dear
I love him always and true
Theres no other dad like him so true


Details | I do not know? | |

You're my what....?!

           This is not my WORLD.

           You're my WORLD.

           You're my EVERYTHING.

           You're the FLOWERS, the GRASS, 

           You're my THOUGHTS,

           You're my EVERYTHING.
            
           This is not my WORLD.
           You're my WORLD.
                     
          So now.....
                be part of my.....
                                    LOVE.



                  *please comment if you don't mind, i'd really like to know your thoughts 
(fav poem if you like)*
                                                  
                                                            -Angel4eva23


Details | Couplet | |

The Ugly Sin

We can't get back the years we have lost
The Demon inside stole you at all cost

The father you loved and trusted in
Took your innocence a mortal sin

Your broken spirit yearns more of the same
Now he tells me... that I am to blame

I should have not left you and trusted him
Denial has ways of making life grim

Now what can I do since he took my child
In ways someone could never take mild

I have no witness but you my sweet girl
Protecing your secret till God's grace unfurls

In bed thinking what could I have done
Of all Ugly... this the ugliest one~


Details | Personification | |

Pessimistic Love

Love is
the morning dew...
lurking, looming
effervescent
enigmatic
...burned
...gone


Details | Verse | |

Through A Prison Glass

You came unexpectedly, and i was surprised,
you smiled and placed your hand on the glass and cried.
I leaned my head against the glass and told you i am sorry,
i whisper through the phone line, ill start a new story.

You knew i was innocent but you still didn't believe me,
the only person i thought that would stay by my side but you couldn't be. 
Mom standing by your side and not wanting to talk,
i got really upset that you came at all cause i didn't want to see you walk. 

I needed you, when i was in need,
i was there for you when ever you didn't want to bleed.
I loved you and i cherished you with all my heart,
but before you left your words hit me like a really sharp dart.

You said i failed you,
you cried to me and i knew it was true.
But i needed you to understand me,
but you went your way and upset me.

The glass is now empty and i cant find you even with the fact that I'm out,
i tell you i love you but all you do is shout. 
I've lost you for good this time, 
so i think i have to do one more crime. 


Details | Haiku | |

same childhood home

 





                                              


                                                      same childhood home---
                                                     only Dad's name missing
                                                       from the name plate









 
 .


Details | Rhyme | |

I'M A BIG GIRL NOW

                              Wher's my daddy?Have I done something wrong?
                              But I'll be good ,if he just comes  home
                              And I will stand so proud and say,
                              I'm a big girl now daddy I wont get in your way
                               I  wont be mean any more ,wont kick and scream;
                              Or fall to the floor,Iwont whine or fuss and get you upset 
                              I'm abig girl now daddy ,you'll be surprised I bet;
                               I can sit quietly while at play,daddy I promise ;
                               I wont get in your way;
                               If you come home,I'll be at my best
                              Am I big enough to make such a request?
                              Mommy said that you're up in Heaven
                             'Cause your name was oneof them given,
                              But if you told Jesus,that you couldnt stay;
                              And I'd ask for you back at night when I pray,
                              Then back to our house you will arrive-!
                               See mama, I told you my daddy was alive.


Details | Sonnet | |

Sonnet For My Father

He was my father, he brought me home.
I was his second son, not so alone.
Something was taken, not far, but long,
today I remember, this lifeline is gone.

Broken foundations, bridges and stones,
teetering traces of my tears on his bones.
Emptied my pockets, nothing but loans,
never again will I reap what he sows.

Hold up the truth to the light as he fades,
I am the bridge that collapsed from the waves.
excuse to apology, attempts to explain,
love for my father is all that remains.

Look up to the sun, crown for his last day,
watching it set as his soul fades away.


Details | I do not know? | |

You Abandon Me

You Abandon me,
  Expunged me.
    You left me without someone like you.

Yea i should say "I Love You,"
  But i'm not sure i do.
   Yea i should Forgive you,
 But i'm not sure i will.
      I don't deserve you,
 & you don't deserve me.
    I know you don't care.
Cuz if you did then you'd call.
   Im Not going to search for you,
 & you better Not search for me.

Yea i should say "I Love You,"
  But i'm not sure i do.
Yea i should call you "Father"
  But i'm not sure i will.
     
You Abandon me Father,
  left me without a Dad.
I read your letters over and over.
  Reading your lies of how "You'll move closer to me so we could hang,"
How you said you "Loved Me".

Then why did you disappear?
Then why did you pop into my life when i was 10?
Why couldn't you pop into someone else's life?!

Yea i should say "I Love You,"
          But i don't.
You Abandon me Father...
     So im going to do the same...

   Good Bye.

- Brittany

( thank you for reading and commenting.. it really means alot :) please comment and rate :) thank you again)


Details | Lyric | |

UNFOLD

The pain of change as it unfolds
Is oft a tale that stays untold
What is seen is a whole creature
not deep holes in the feature
nor concrete soles that makes his feet hurt

It all begins with a soft kiss
He is walking with a false bliss
Only following in paw prints
But the nature of mom's lips
Is to rob him of all innocence

Trapped in warm spindles of fear
A wrapped life form kindles in here
Four years bound to shingles of moss
Time to leave this life of sloths
Break free like that of a moth
and Rise again like Christ on the cross


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck

I'm like a lion
Tryin to be  trained
to behave in a cage, but
I wasnt born to be tame
Full of stress and rage
 Im compressed and chained
Infected with depression
beCause I cant catch a break
Lifes taste is so tart
In pain from my scars
Stained by lame luck
Stuck behind apace car
I strive to write
But all I can type is the space bar
I'm Pervaded with doubt
About to freakout
Quick Someone bail me out
I would sniff my way out
but I got this cyst on my snout
From 6 years of this drought
Im sittin with this could of pout
Stickin to me like jam from a can
like melted candy in your hand
I'M a pantree full of Spam
 A Letter without the stamp
A debtor without a plan
Like chicken on a pan without any Pam,
Damn I'm starting to get pissed
 I got to devise a plan, before I break my fist,
Punching this brick wall, I got the spit but no ball
got the wits with no squall, like a toliet with no stall
 Slippin in a pit fall, Shiz just snow balls
I want to brawl, missed last call
My Stick shift just stalled,
This lawl has no intention at stopin at all
And I'm kicking myself in the balls
like old men walking up and down the halls
so i flop, just like a dust mop
Now i got knots in my food box
The size of king kongs rocks and
Every door has been locked
I try to soar but its all for not


Details | Free verse | |

The Piano Stand

I was sitting at the piano stand,
cracking my hands, getting ready to play,
when a man walked in, no one knew who,
he was, because no one had seen him in a while.

He sat in a chair, his hair so blonde and long as could be,
my hand touched the piano key,
I realized it was my dad not that it was bad,
just why was he here, i can't bare to see his face.

I stopped playing,
I started saying,
How mad i am for his fame,
He walked out of the school in shame.

I wondered why he was famous and what for,
He left me and my brothers to be poor,
For some other.

I can never forgive him,
but i'll let him live on in his fame,
for i have nothing to shame.
For i knew he would not claim,
me as a daughter or friend.

I moved my hands from the keys on the piano,
for i have moved on to another Piano Stand.


Details | Free verse | |

Deep enough to bruise the soul

He didnt know the wounds would go
Deep enough to bruise her soul
She lay there froze when he arose
She replaced her battered clothes
Rather the blows from clydesdales toes
Or the fate of conquered foes
This painful load forever to hold
A friend not stranger from her stole
He didnt think her dad would drink
Then find his gun beneath the sink
He hasnt blinked he's at the brink
Wants to feed animal instincts
Moms half insane feels daughters pain
Her tears form puddles like the rain
Her child explains how she's ashamed
Now mommy wants to share the blame
He didnt weep in courtroom seat
Jury discussion deliberately brief
Not very steep the sentence was weak
They only handed him three hundred weeks
He never did speak almost like asleep
He'll spend many cold nights wrapped in a thin sheet
Tried to be discreet almost lost heartbeat
When those bars of steel slid right past his feet.


Details | Sapphic stanza | |

Everything a boy would need

Father you are ev'rything a boy would need 
Strong and Patient, Distant but always ready
never lost in emotion Like my Mum was
Shame that I'm a girl


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Shadows Of Pain

Hollowed eyes and tortured soul 
Spitting words that didn't flow 
Forcing smiles that always faded 
His memories fond, distorted and jaded
Ups and downs, half smiles and frowns
His mind was spinning round and round 
A heart bigger than a sunrise sky 
So numbed he left and didn't say goodbye 
The darkness seized him, held him tight
Squeezed so hard life became a fight 
A fight to eat, a fight to breathe 
Hatred flowed and emotions seethed 
He never forgot and never forgave 
The angst inside him dug his early grave
Handsome groom, number one dad 
The best friend I truly ever had 
Woke up one day not feeling well
Couldn't take this life in hell 
Began his journey to what comes after
Mom comes home, finds him hanging from a rafter 
Terror sets in and shock takes over 
In a blink of an eye their marriage was over 
Two nightmarish calls, one to each daughter 
Cries and screams like lambs at the slaughter 
And so we march on, soldiers in a state of shock 
Thinking it's him, every phone call and knock 
Now, I hope, his tortured soul's at peace 
But we, the survivors, are haunted with memories and grief 
Does the cycle continue - depression and shame? 
Will I follow my father through the shadows of pain?


Details | I do not know? | |

What people might think

People may say that i am a spoiled little brat.
    Only becuase they see what they wan't to see.
   We all have been through things in our life time that we just want to forget, but we just can't  seem to forget.

My mom has put me through many things "but lets not say" in the past.  And i have learned from some of those things.  It made me a stronger person inside and outside. 

  I don't know my father at all. I wasn't even born when my mom was around him.
 But i have a loving family.

I would never change my past even if i had the chance.  Becuase if i did then i wouldn't be 
where i am now.

 People who are out there that are judging people based on how they act or look, are stupid. Wise up and grow up... 
Those people you judge have a GOOD reason for the way they look or act.
 And maybe they need some one there to talk to. To get things off their 
back.

                        Just like the saying. "Don't judge a book by it's cover"



*just something  that i had to say* :)comment if you have a thought (or fav poem if you like it)*
  
                                        


Details | Imagism | |

Something good

The smell of coffee: hot and bitter in the cold winter night 
With the rhythm in the left hand and the rhyme in the right, 
He wrote a poem in his secret pocket,
A wistful star like a speedy rocket
Ready to leave this planet intense blue
In search of other traces of life anew.
He remembered after mother had died,
In the cold touch ,stalagmites and stalactites cried.
Father and son felt a strong taste for sweets.
As in the sunset, the blind boatman meets
With an awkward touch the water`s ring
But generally they needn`t to eat anything
For a while they rested an extraordinary team:
Father insistently (sometimes boring) told him
All his recollections:childhood,war and the rest…
All muscles and teeth pressed hot, like ice on the crest.
The son learnt them by heart, and later
He would retell them to father, even better…
One was on duty to wash the dishes;
The other tried to follow his wishes…

Their only joy was to read and read and read…
One had to cook at home ,and to bake the bread
In a bread factory:He was happy even when he was sad.
He could recognize each bread: All his loafs were bad.
He was like Chaplin in “New Times”.
He was speaking in figures and rhymes.  
He wore a monk beard and father was much more younger.
Looking through the window: grey hunger and anger …

At the weekend, he used to ask his father 
About the favourite meal, but rather
He would find a surprise the next day.
Each day was windy winter and grey…

Father had the same touching answer:”Something good”.
In the strange interference ,water and fire ,one was rude.
Solitude  was their common friend stealing in like a lizard,                                       
But, in the afternoon they played sweeping their courtyard.
They had leaves in autumn and snow in the winter.
The sky was grey without sun, the clouds were bitter.
Father was counting the leaves, in the old horizon
The son was painting the days ,in the cold horizon.


The war with the falling down leaves fighting hard 
With red faces like an inveterate drunkard .
And years after his father met his final hope,
The son would stop in front of  the sweets shop , 
Ready to buy recollections as Christmas tree sweets.


Details | I do not know? | |

The White of Your Eyes

As I look at the whites of your eyes
I feel horror, fear rumbling inside me.

I grind my teeth together when I see you walking.

I fear you, I fear when you talk, shout, when you raise your hand.

I'v always feared you, but no more.
The fear I had of you I turned it into courage.

Now I no longer fear you.
I laugh when you raise your hand, when you shout.

Cuz the only thing I see you as...
Is a dead man walking.

And now your in the ground where you belong.


( If you may PLEASE comment of Mail me. Sorry i havn't been on in a long time... ALOT has happened this year to me)


Details | Rhyme | |

What About Us?


My father worked the plant as
his father befor.
We worked until are hands bleed and
are backs were sore.

History we made and many fine men spent there lives 
in this very place.
Founded the union.
we are the backbone not a copperate 
face.

Didnt bat a eye just said goodbye
catching the first outta town bus.
They saved there over payed asses 
but what about us.

The working class people who gave there 
sweat and tears.
A town inwhich the factory was built.
Old and young share bitter reflections over
stories passed down through the years.

More than jobs left with the closing 
of the factorys doors.
Pain echos from broken souls.
it comes into are very essense seeps into the floors.

Years of memories gone without a 
fuss.
They crunch numbers but were people.
You saved a billion but a whole town
ask's what about us?


Details | Cinquain | |

Eyes On Me???

Eyes on me,
People watching,
In my direction?
Can't they look somewhere else?

Feeling uneasy,
Discomfart rises, too.
Afraid to mess up,
Afraid to fail.

Eyes are on me.
I feel pale.
I freeze.

I don't want
The attention.


Details | Rondeau | |

On a Park Bench



On a park bench, the codger waits
left to ponder why he must hate
this man he loves whose gone astray
in the park, his young son once played
vacillating, he deflates

His gay son, he thought in dire straits
heavily, his worrying weights
from balderdash of youth today
On a park bench

The codger once loved to elate
or tell a joke of his create
but now the amusing displays
usurped by his deploring ways
fear not hate left to devastate 
On a park bench   


Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Seventh place in For Love of Language contest (Debbie Guzzi)
 



Details | Rhyme | |

Does Family Really Matter Anymore


A family had a wedding...  The brother wasn’t invited.
The fact they didn’t want him,.. 
Was already decided!

When asked why his name had been “omitted.”
It was because of past wrongs he had committed.

The words spoken, one could hardly believe it!
Any kind of forgiveness? 
 They didn’t receive it!

How many times are loved ones not
 invited to “family occasions.”
Often times, families listen to “outside persuasions.”

Someone does something, 
that may not be liked.
Then they’re often told to “go take a hike!

No wonder why many families 
battle one another!
They have failed to truly love each other!

As we continue to see families drift apart.
This often leads to a wounded 
and broken heart!

Christ gave us his best!  
When we were at our lowest!
A life of mercy and forgiveness…  
He wants to show us!

If we can’t treat one another
 as Christ commands…
Then HIS way of family living….  
We’ll never understand!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Too much times past

Inspiration is just so hard to come by
But I though i 'd found something
That would last
But I guess to much
Times past 
and I never really
Knew my dad
But t ain't something 
Cry over
Cause in just a few years 
............. ( it 'll all be over )
I'm tired of your  lies
I guess to best we severed all ties
But this ain't bout you 
It's bout me 
Even though you
Ruined everything
The damages are to big to repair
So I guess its better to 
Act like you don't care
But 2 can play those games 
It's not like I ever needed you here 


Details | I do not know? | |

You call yourself a father

Growing up was hard for me,
I think i grew up to soon,
I had to take charge in the big brother role,
But also i had to take hold to the father role somehow.

My mom was the only one who was there for her children,
We knew that she loved us,
She was in love with my father but he wasn't faithful,
So she found someone else who showed her true love.

My siblings never truly understood it,
I tried my best to encourage them to behave,
Which they listened but to a certain point,
Finally my mom married her true love and the caos began.

My father tried to step back in the picture,
My siblings began to side with my father not knowing the seriousness,
I decided to talk to them one-on-one but neither of them listened,
They wanted for my mom and father to be together.

One day my mother sat them down,
Telling them the hurt and pain she experienced with my father,
She explain to them the whole nine yards,
They understood then and began looking at my father differently.

Getting to the stage of middle school,
We began to see less of our father,
It was his choice...not ours,
He wouldn't call for our birthdays or holidays,

So we leaned mostly on our step-father,
They wouldn't accept him as father,
He would do all he could for us,
But instead the only one(s) who really let him be a father figure was me and the 
youngest brother.

My step-father loves my mom and has been there for her going on Fifteen years.
He is a firm talk like he's a policeman or something,
But he is a nice person.
My mom loves him and so do we.

So this is a message for all of the children out there who has a no good father....if 
your mom has a man or husband, please treat him right because he is there to 
protect your mom and you all. Thanks for listening!!


Details | Free verse | |

why daddy

dad you were my hero!
the one i wanted to be just like.
everything i did was to make you proud...
you walked out on us...
i know i wasnt a perfect child...
i just wanted to feel love from you

mom always told me that you would be there for me
you were until i disappointed you...
i thought parents were supposed love their children no matter what...
you didnt do that
 you always put me down 
told me i was such a shame to the family

now that i have grown up
i relieze life is better with out you in it...
and i no longer wanna be just like you
i could never walk out on my kid
you sicken me...
how could you give up the child that you gave your name to...
i understand you have other kids
but to just give up and not have anything to do with one of them
and to not let that kid know his siblings....
i could never do that 
no matter how much my kid disappointed me...

i found my hero...
he stepped up even tho he didnt have to...
he treated me like his own...
he was there when i needed a daddy and you werent there...
he was there at my worst....
and he is there at my best...
he will be my best man when i get married...
my kids will know him as grandpa...
they will never know you 
cause i cant risk you hurting my kids
the way you hurt me...

the thing that gets me the most is....
how you made it look so easy
did you even think about the lil boy
who carries your name and...
has your blood running in his veins

i dont think you did...
and if you did you are
a heartless piece of crap

even after all you have done to me...
physical, emotional, and mental abuse...
i forgive you...
not for you but for me so i can move on with me life


Details | Rhyme | |

I Knew Someone Who Wanted to End It All

I Knew Someone Who Was Ready to “End It All!” I knew of someone who just wanted “to end it.” Giving up on life, and did not want to “defend it.” It was a heart wrenching and difficult situation. He said what he wanted to, with no explanation! I could see his face and the sad look in his eyes! What he was going to do next, was anyone’s surprise. He turned to drugs and encountered addictions. With this brought much disease and afflictions! He gave up on the wonderful family that was given. And turned to a pretty wild and crazy way of livin’! I told him about a God who loves him very deeply. As he listened, he began to grow restless and weary. I reached for his hand and began to pray for God’s power! It was a miracle! The blood of Jesus changed him that hour! The spirit of God brought healing and hope to his body! He was so excited! He rushed out to tell everybody! The “end” that he wanted, seemed to just fade away! For the son of the living God, changed him this day! The glory of God, and the power of Jesus’ resurrection… Changed him! And got him going in a NEW direction! He’s so thankful for the blood of Christ’ atonement! And is a different person now, because of that moment! This same Jesus loves and can do the same for YOU! Through the problems of life… He will see you through! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Gold Star

Sometimes I sit and ponder
what it may be like
to have parents, not always 
looking for a petty fight
the love you feel, always
being there for you
day o' night

I wake up fighting a
constant battle,
I feel like I am in a circus
having to jump through hoops
my parents hold
to earn their admiration and 
approval

Earning their gold star
for the day
I was a rebel since day one
not trying to conform
dancing to the beat of a 
different drummer

Wishing to be accepted 
for who I want to be
and how I seek to spend my hours
nothing I ever do, seems to be good
enough

They talk about "emotional deposits"
i.e. spending time with them
but they spend too much time
picking and proving
reacting wrong, saying ignorant assumptions
they push me away, each day
'further and further I go
as soon as I make enough money
I'm gone

They act as if my artistic mind 
couldn't make money
like my dreams are distant relatives
of which I will never meet
but I strive to prove them wrong

Its bad enough being
one person versus the world
but when the army you fight
is led by your family, your blood
it's twice as hard to get up
in the morning, when the suns
rays dance on my closed
eyelids 

I try my best to be the kind
of person I want to be
despite their efforts to kill off
my individualistic soul
I have given up trying
to belong to which I 
was born unto
I'm simply playing the game

Hoping to win, one day
the chance to be myself
as I feel emulates me,
and regardless
have a proud
Mommy and Daddy
I do pray, I shall be
 free to be 
Heather Rose Marie


Details | Free verse | |

A Spindle, an Hour-glass, and a Doll

This story is about a young girl named Sapphie Smith.
Her parents were poor, so they lived in a small house,
And Sapphie had only three toys,
An hour-glass, a spindle, and a doll.
The hour-glass had been her father's,
The spindle her mother's,
And when she was younger, Mother had made her the doll.
Sapphie had known no other life,
Therefore she was content with her toys and her small little bedroom.
She slept with the little rag doll every night,
Playing with it so much that it was frayed.
When she was about six years old,
An epidemic swept through the land.
Her parents wished they did not have to go to the village and work,
But they were so poor, they had no other choice.
Then, one day, Sapphie's parents did not come back;
Her father found good pay as a shepherd in the distant hills,
Where he would not see his family for a long time,
And her mother knew one day in the village 
That she had the dreadful sickness.
She did not go home because she loved her little daughter so much
That she did not wish to risk her getting sick.
But it tore her heart to pieces, 
knowing that she would never again see her beautiful daughter.
Sapphie wondered why her parents did not come home
As they did every evening.
It did not bother her much as she played with her toys;
The hour-glass, the doll, and the spindle,
Crawling into her little bed when she grew sleepy.
The next day, Sapphie was getting lonely without her mother,
So she went to look for her in the wooded hills around her house.
She soon grew weary, not having thought to eat breakfast,
And laid down to rest by a stream where she drank.
A kind woodsman found her and raised her like his own daughter,
But as the months passed, 
Her father came home, and found it empty,
Save the doll, the hour-glass, and the spindle.
He set them on the little table with three chairs,
Crying when he woke up and saw them every morning.
Sapphie found her father years later,
Which was the happiest day of her life.
Whenever she was sad, she looked on the mantle where the toys were
And remembered how wonderful it was to have her father again.


 # See About Poem #


Details | Senryu | |

The Kids of Divorce

Mom and Dad divorce; the kids are damaged for life; but some are relieved.


Details | Quatrain | |

Why Red Roses Flow

Every year she returns to the scene
This place in question where life has been mean
On muddy banks down by the waterline
Alone in her tomorrow's, solitary resigned

Having already lost her husband in his freedom fight
No mother should enter this fateful night
Her baby, her son, that a mother sees to grow
Wandered from her safety to that fast water flow

All innocent and fearless little steps slowly walk
In playful surrounds just barely in talk
Noises up ahead attract this mind to peek see
So curious they are when they get a chance to break free

Down an unclimbable bank he faces his lure
Once a slow flowing stream soon to take natures pure
Yesterdays storms allowed the heavens to cry
Whilst his mother kneels down and still asks herself why

In her hand she clasps a bunch of Roses so red
Tears fill her eyes knowing her tomorrow's lie dread
Once again she looks back, facing a mothers fear
A last glimpse of the flow, feeling her lost sons tears












http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-5.php



Details | I do not know? | |

Chris Kyle the Great Sniper

Before you read this poem, I would like to invite you in reading about the great American sniper hero. I am also dedicating this to the fallen sniper because he is a true Patriotic Hero. Thank you.

Chris Kyle was and still is loved by many, this to be true I say
I always believe him to be, a great sniper to this undying day.
Why must things happen to people, that are always so kind
Life would be better keeping some, alive alongside mankind.

Why don’t I tell you a story, about this very kind honest fellow
He was and is an U.S. Navy Seal, but along that chill and mellow.
The most lethal sniper known of, in American military history
With a very high percentage confirmed kills, quite the victory.

At the young age of eight, his father taught him how to shoot
A great father teaching a son, instead of giving him the boot.
A bronco rider for the rodeo, sadly gave it up for a serious injury
It was to his arm although he still lived, with very great dignity.

Being a great sniper had an effect, putting souls to their bed
Eventually somewhat famous, an increasing bounty upon his head.
Undoubtedly dubbed the “Devil of Ramadi”, by non-other than Iraqi
An increasing bounty shot twice, but his body and will still intact.

After a while serving his country, he retired heading home graciously
Taking back some long spent  time, spending it with his family.
Chris Kyle a loved husband, a friend to many and a beloved son
His homeland now saddened, for America has lost a patriotic one.

A great warrior indeed, in my opinion our greatest honorable hero
He put his life on the line, instead of becoming the common zero.
The greatest treasure of all, came from within himself to prove
That all humans aren’t wrongful, but that we all can improve.


Details | Concrete | |

Not really there at all

You used to say that what you did was to protect me. You use to act like you were the best damn person in the world. I used to want to be just like you. But now all i want to do is run away. I dont want to be like you. Instead of protecting me, You destory me, you broke me, and then you stomped me all over the ground. You make me wanna be a monster from all the pain you caused in my life. You lied from the start. You hurt me so bad that i cant even watch those simple father daughter movies young girls love. You have drained the emotion from me to a level that i will no longer allow myself to feel, but you know what dad its time to say good bye from you. All you are is a PAIN that tore me in pieces because of all the lies, the pain, the scars. just go. thats what i want.


Details | Blank verse | |

Portrait of a Sad Man

A lame wolf, weathered by neglect and time
Howling questions, pelted like throwing stones
Melting away like mountain snow
Abandoned by people wearing laughter on their skin
Monstrous faces masked with smiles false
Wondering at his mistakes, a life lost
He drip drop drips deep into the ground




For my father, who can at times be a sad man.

Chynna Bear
A Short Poem, Please


Details | Free verse | |

passion and persuation

The Illuminating path's Serenade my Vision, The Blindening Rays of faithful horizon leap into me, Our Memories of togetherness clasp me to the loop of life, still I am lusting to cross-over and meet the Chaismatic-End!! After which,our souls will intertwine and remain in enlightened glory forever! Life had been an autumn full of blossoms, My love lay in my arms in unrequited glory, life was a maze of puzzled quotes, the dooming evil recruited you into its gloomy shadows, and i learn't my first chapter about death. DEATH is a slow poison gushing through time and seeping through seconds, Blistering a thousand souls, abandoning a many infants, sucking away the more needed ones, Thwarting pain and inflicting illicit wounds. BUT losing hope means losing "US" At a jerk,our infancy angel crosses over with warmth, And the hallucinating illuminating paths fade away!! And i realize my quest in this unfarthomable journey, TO LIVE,LOVE AND SUCCEED DEATH!!


Details | Narrative | |

All About Her

I dont know much about her
but I heard she wasnt that talkative
She didnt like being alive
She was numb to all the pain she had to go through

I heard she didnt like anything that was green
She ate roman noodles everynight for supper
She always wore flannels and bellbottoms
Sometimes i seen her wear dresses and fancy tops
But lately shes been wearing band shirts

She wears converse shoes and uses an army bag for school
I know that she dosent like to communicate through talking... only through her peoms
or sometimes even her songs.

I see her drawing and painting all the time
She draws famous people
She would like to be famous and not so unknown
When she tries to speak to anyone they always walk away and leave her alone

When she gets home she goes upstairs to play her bass guitar
She hates chocolate cake but loves chocolate
Her family left her behind because she cant forget her past

Sometimes when shes alone she contemplates the meaning behind her life
Her favorite color is gray because her life is black and white
Everything she says is false according to the world

She is not so innocent
I understand that she dreams about the perfect life
When she opens her eyes they are pitch black

She is someone that is fake
She acts nothing like she should
She is very grungy and unclean

She knows of no safety
and of no time
Her life is smashed into pieces by the giant sun

She will always be a ghost
She knows of no god
She crawls around in the world of death
She remains forgotten


Details | Free verse | |

Heartbreaking Decisions

Walking a tight rope without an umbrella
feet unsure of the next steps to take
heart heavy, mind uneasy, can't look down
equilibrium off kilter, yet still watching ahead
focusing on you alone, selfishness set aside
as days with you dwindle before our eyes

 
Tears must flow in our private darkness
anxiety we set aside in your presence
smiles in place, presenting a happy face
wanting always, no more or no less than
what we believe is best for you, our father
as days with you dwindle before our eyes


Grieving for you while in your presence
a luxury we dare not bring to the foreground
decisions on what is right and wrong
overloading our senses with the magnitude
of what lies ahead, daily now.. saying our goodbyes
as days with you dwindle before our eyes
 

Second guessing decisions causing pain
struggling with what we perceive is best
trying to place ourselves in your shoes
knowing you can no longer reason choice
we place your life before the Great Physician
as days with you dwindle before our eyes


Details | Free verse | |

Scars of an Inner Child

You are not the man, you want to be
You said you were my Father, till, I discovered different
Enduring, daily beatings
Bashing the living day lights, out of a woman and a child
Repetitive, bad ass attitude, nasty streak
Mean and aggressive!
Fists, knives and guns, your weapons of chose
Out of control, abusive, devious
Relentless, over – bearing!
Breaking me, piece by piece
Confusing a child, with unhealthy love
Hand fed your bullshit, brain washed
Using me as your human, punching bag
This innocent child’s blood, staining your callas hands
My child’s curiosity, asking you one day
“Why do you hurt me and Mum?”
Your retort: “I am not your blood!”
I didn't understand, back then
Now, as an adult, I clearly understand!
Believe me, when I say
There was never a day that went past
That you didn't remind me of that!
My freedom, restrained
My sanity, tested
Caged, like a wild bird in captivity
Behind bars, looking out
 Here, I am today, free from your grip
Nursing, this inner child’s, bleeding love


Details | Free verse | |

Loss

Searing pain rips through my chest,
As I slip on the painted green stairs, 
Running from something I’m not sure
Too afraid to stop, to turn my head.

My heart races, my head throbbing,
If I could just take a deep breath,
To cleanse my soul and refresh,
Where is this dark building I’m in.

Lying in warmth I move my hand,
Red covers me, flowing down the steps,
A peaceful calm envelopes as I view
My Dad with open arms waiting for me.

He is standing now, out of his wheelchair,
Smiling with his crooked grin so sweet,
The pain ebbs and happiness grows
Then I wake again to the dark emptiness.



Written September 23, 2012
For Francine Robert’s contest
“In Dreams”



Details | Lyric | |

My Dad Another 24th


Days go past us, as do winds of season,
But never the days and years
That get stuck in some ear and age,
That engulf us like mirages in a desert.

One such mirage in my life is of my Dad,
Always before me, waiting for me;
Yet I never reach in time to be near;
So near to me, yet so far away.

Never did he forsake me, in life,
Never for moment, never for a day;
Always beside me in my hours of need —
A dear friend, a true companion, a great dad.

He suggested the best books to me,
But never pushed them into my hands;
A mere suggestion about the inputs —
The next thing I know, I have my hands full.

He sang tunes soothing, melodious,
But never forced me to listen to any songs;
A mere suggestion about the notes —
My passion for music was born!

His acquaintances, colleagues, all friends;
Value of friends in life is priceless;
A friend is a cool morning breeze,
Surround life with friends, my list’s endless.

Never fear life’s rollercoaster ride;
No problem is without a solution:
Life is too short to fret and fear;
And so, I tried, yet fear engulfed me.

He came back into my life in many forms,
Beating death; guided me with many a face:
As friends, notes of music, verses from books —
He never left me and my life, my Dad.


Details | Free verse | |

My Worst

Hey dad,
please talk to me.
There's something I need to say.
I've realized something.
Just hear me out and you'll know I'm right.
I'll never be good enough for you.
I'll never meet your expectations.
And we're growing apart so fast
that I can barely tell what you want anymore.
All the things that you've said
hurt worse than you'll ever know.
And now we can't go back.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect.
But I'm always at my worst when I'm with you.
My mood so dark that I can't see.
You'll never understand how hard it is
and how bad it hurts to be me near you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Forget me not

to dad

Take these special words
i am about to say to you
lock them in a safe place
where this disease
cannot get to

I love you very much
proud of you for being strong
thank you for coming back into my life
i know you're sorry it took so long

Please remember 
these special times
do not forget 
the smile upon my face 

Remember the hugs 
I give you
do not forget 
my loving embrace

I love you, 
my dad
my first hero
and my friend 

Take these words 
I've said to you
Hold them tight,
to the end. 
                    M.K. Flame


Details | I do not know? | |

Daddy

Into the light Daddy...
Please give me your trust.
Hold my hand tightly Daddy...
I wont let you shower with dust.

I miss you so much Daddy...
How I wish you're walking me down the aisle,
Your little girl's a Mom now Daddy..
A boy named after you, I wish you could see his first smile.

Walk this path with me Daddy...
I promise you the road is much better.
And don't worry about me Daddy...
You taught me a lot, thank you for being the best father.

I know you are safe now Daddy...
But it still hurts now that you are gone.
I still cry a lot and wishing for your hugs Daddy...
I'm sorry for all the pain, 
I will always love you, My Daddy. 



Details | Narrative | |

too drunk, not drunk

When your with people you think you can trust

and you get a bit to drunk

and you thought you could trust him

after all your mom loved him

 

and you go to bed just afer 2

and mom went to bed just after 1

and he came in room just after 4

so you ask him for a pill...

He gets you the pill and you take it for your head

still drunk

     still drunk

and then you lay back down

still drunk

and then his hand snakes out

still drunk

and then his lips meet yours

still drunk

smell the beer

still drunk

and his hand slides under your gown

still drunk

and you just cant say no

too drunk

    too drunk

and his touches, soft but rough

not drunk

    not drunk

and he plays with your untuoched parts

not drunk

    not drunk

and you try to turn but you cant

not drunk

    not drunk

and you finnaly win and turn

not drunk

    not drunk

and he silently walks away

not drunk

    not drunk

and whispers to the dark room

are you drunk

    are you drunk

        are you drunk 

and you wish you could say that you were

so drunk

     so drunk

so you can turn, fall asleep, and forget

not drunk

    not drunk

and you know in deep and dark thoughts...

your not drunk

      your not drunk

             your not drunk


Details | Lyric | |

Junkie

you know its wrong 
but you do it to overpower the pain
not strong enough to stay away from it
you would die without it
in its presence your heart knows no shame
even if you try to win the fight
your heart will overrule your mind
Theres nothing you can do
its chained to you
you cant get free
look what this drug did to you


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 3-

My eyes
Witness your departure
My eyes
Are dripping with hopelessness…
My eyes start to blur…
Melancholy put me under pressure…
Is there a cure to my disease? 

You don’t see
The shards of hope that once brought us back together
Just let me search for safety
I’m strong enough to realize that I’m no longer
The weakest prey out there…

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me whimpering like a distraught puppy left on the train tracks?

I’m close to my demise…save me and take me home

Nourish me…and be my beloved friend

Will this friendship last forever?

Hopefully it has no end

Will this cheerful moment help us get along with each other?

Because of you…I feel the need to run 
I keep an eye on you – I worry that you’ll hurt yourself again
Because of you…My freedom is nearly gone
I don’t wanna be caught off guard again
Because of you…EYE can’t picture a solution for our vexing dilemma 
Because of you…eye can’t focus on my long-term goal 

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you sense that I’m giving in to failure? 
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…I can’t endure 
The hardships that you place upon me…
Could you boost up my confidence to overcome 
My atrocious anxiety? 

I’m just waiting for some sun
To keep me in good hands…
To strengthen me with perseverance …
I’m just waiting until His son
Leads the world outtah Egypt and reveals to us…
His radiance…His dazzling Kingdom – 
Vibrant with glee

Your undying sympathy dawns upon us
I’m overflowing with indescribable joy  
You’re a candle in the night…
We meet eye to eye…
What a sight…what a precious sight


Details | Rhyme | |

Lost Son

I awaited patiently for months just to hold you in my arms,
You awoke the real man within as your birth was it's alarm.
You stared as I stared back even though you could barely see,
But I saw right then what a blessing you were going to turn out to be.

I was forced out your life but that didn't stop my thoughts of you,
I lived everyday wondering if you could ever miss me too.
You're too young to keep the memories and the evidence is quite clear,
One years old I finally catch you and that cold stare was hard to bare.

Everyone says I'm trippen cause you're not really mine but my response was who else was there?
There for you, and your mom is something a real man did with care.
What I wanted you to know is that you revived a part of me not many people knew,
But that part stayed with you and I pray that very essence is something that carries with you.

One day you'll have your own life and there's something important you must keep with you,
No matter who it is don't let no one make you doubt yourself, be true to you and remember
that you are beautiful.
I named you...I claimed you...I was willing to do what another man couldn't,
You were my sun...you are my son...I felt a love that I thought I shouldn't.

You will never go wrong if you keep your influence under God.
Amari---miracle from God.


Details | Dizain | |

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY:

I’d never considered killing myself,
Until I backed over my little boy.
I know I should think about mental help;
I break down when I see his untouched toys,
His baby pictures, note the absent noise.
Only three, he had hardly lived at all.
His life cut short, like a sudden dropped call.
Resentment’s an anvil in my wife’s eyes -
“Why weren’t you careful? It’s all your fault!”
The guilt’s SO Heavy…should I end my life?

                                             ----Sonless


Received 3rd place in "diazin" contest
Received 8th place in "Dilemna" contest


Details | Light Poetry | |

the heat of the sun

The heat of the sun

She looks in the mirror
Don’t recognize her face
Use to be so pretty now she looks
 Like from out of apace
 
She is just eighteen 
Got in to the wrong crowd
She had some   dreams
Was going to make father proud

Her mother died giving  her birth
 in the back seat of a car
And she grow so beautiful 
You swear she’s   a movie star

She thinks  her  mother die 
because she was born
And all of her life 
She never enjoy the heat of the sun

She looks at the needle
Pick it up and put it down
If she don’t stop now
Could end up six feet under ground

She meets a guy in school
And exchange student from Spain 
He says that he loves her 
And got her hook on cocaine

She tries to fight it 
But the way out was to long
It keep pulling her in
The addiction was to strong

Since then she’s lost it
Her will is being out done
And she is living but don’t
Feel the heat of the sun

Her father loves her 
But he hurts so badly
And  if she goes to him
He will open his arm gladly

She builds up the courage
And when out the room
She says dad help me 
She was in rehab that  afternoon

She’s doing ok now
The carving is gone
She walks on the lawn and it’s the fist time
She feels the heat of the sun

Some times we all 
 May lost our way
But there is always some one
Who wants to help us thru the day?

No one is perfect 
Sometimes may fall down
We have to pick our self’s up
And feel the heat of the sun


Details | Narrative | |

My Father Gone These Forty Years

My father gone these forty years,
my mother gone twenty, I remember...
the acrid smell of tobacco
on my mother’s rough fingers,
as she sat, silently,
in a predawn Texas coastal town,
my head in her lap, the short-wave
radio crackling with static.
She strained to hear the chatter of
shrimpers in the Gulf of Mexico,
yelling out to each other
in Cajun patois French,
Mexican Spanish, accented English;
she stroked my nine-year-old hair,
her middle-aged body aching,
hungry, worried, sleepless,
far from her roots, stranded
in this strange, dry,
totally foreign place.
Her imaginings of my father’s
struggles with the sea
and its weathers filled her mind,
and she knew, all the while, that
even if he were safe, earning money,
he (and she) would fail
and we would still suffer
the poverty of the hopeless
and desperate doomed
whose minor, occasional comforts
were only, onshore, the cold beers
and noisy camaraderie of the others
like him, like her,
like us.


Details | Imagism | |

I will walk alone

When will I see you next, at times I'm so unclear,
will it be at your funeral? For this is what I fear.

When will I hear your voice and what should I say,
I don't dare ask you Daddy, why you went away...

Should I pretend nothing  happened, or ask why you don't come around,
or do I wait for that dreadful day they place you in the ground?

What will your tombstone read, what will your family say?
they wont speak about me daddy, or how you went away.

They will speak of things that their daddy would say and do,
they will speak of my daddy, one I never knew.

They will speak of a life you lived, one that made them proud,
a life I couldn't see or have because I wasn't allowed.

They will place you in the ground, and I will surly cry.
I'll finally know my daddy, the day that he will die.

I will walk alone, Ill have no one by my side,
with no one ever knowing, that was my daddy who just died.


Details | Tanka | |

Incest

 

Footsteps in the hall Hiding in my darkened room Smell his liquored breath Please don't daddy, I'll be good Please don't hurt me any more


Details | Free verse | |

Random Thoughts

Thinking about tomorrow
You wont be there
Thinking about you
I miss your voice
Thinking about my birthday
The one I don’t want to have without you
Thinking about my friend 
And how we are drifting apart 
Thinking about a bond and how could be broken over a night 
Thinking about how people could simple walk away
Thinking about life
I wish it would end
Thinking about me
I hate so much
Nothing makes sense 
A lesson I learnt in life 
Everyone walks away
Everyone leaves
There’s no such thing 
As I will be their forever
Or true friendship
No such thing as love 
Being close to anyone 
Only brings pain 
Pain to heart
Pain to soul
They either leave
OR god simple choose
To take them away
Thinking about the things I’ve done
And you are not here to see
Thinking about all the days I tried to make you proud
But never really did
Tired of life
Tired of everything
I think it’s time to say my goodbyes
And put my thinking aside


Details | Free verse | |

The soldier, the war, and I

The soldier, the war, and I


Today I am home and thinking to my self..
What would I be doing if I had a soldier coming home to me and my family?
What would I be doing if I was the soldier looking to going home to my family?
And then, I look back at all the years passed since this last war..

Many children have grown to become men, Others have grown to become soldiers
Where would I be if I had gone to the war and fought for my country?
Where would I be if I had gone and came back safely?
Where would I be if I had not gone at all because I was not qualified to go?
Would I be with my family or in a hospital injured?
Would I be standing proud, and laughing with my friends and family?
Or would I be dead, as I never got to come back?

Today I am home and thinking to myself..
Thinking of all of those brave soldiers, children still
Who are out there, suffering.. And some ill

Today I am home and thinking to myself..
How many woman are crying because of their gone loved ones
How many men are crying for their loved and missed ones
How many children are fatherless or motherless, or both!

And at the end I stop. I think no more..
I am grateful for the things I have, 
I am grateful for the people who surround me...
And I am sure grateful to never have gone to a war; yet, 
I sure appreciate the thoughts, courage, life, and suffering
Of all of those who have been touched by it.


Details | Free verse | |

dirty laundry.

you think you understand.
but youre wrong.
its not just that the laundrys dirty.
its my dirt.
i dont want foreign fingers touching these things,
looking at my pale skin and dirty hair.
you say that this is my home now.
you say this is my family.
but youre wrong.
this is no home. just a house.
this is no family of mine.
you were my family.
once.
but everything changes.
you don't care to listen.
you only think that you do.
you prefer the sound of your voice, of your moans.
no time for me to adapt.
you want everything your way.
you think that it's best for me.
keep reassuring yourself.
it doesnt make it right, just, true.


Details | I do not know? | |

Why Should We Live?

Why should we live if we have 
nothing to live for?
Why should we live if we have
nothing to die for?
Why should we live if 
no one cares?
Why should we live if you're
loved by no one?
Why should we live if no
one likes you?
Why should we live if 
no one loves you?

Each day is just a day
Each day is a day closer to death.
What's the point of living?
Some may say none,
Others may say why.
Why should we live?
Tell me and I will think about your answer.


Details | Couplet | |

The Deadly Dart

Wherever I go through out my whole life,
I end up struggling with lots of strife.
Thinking that my life is a total waste,
Wanting it to be over in a haste.

I can feel the pain inside my own heart,
Like someone through at my a deadly dart.
The wound is easing deeper and deeper,
Will the pain ever stop getting bigger?

Feeling emo is never a good thing,
Cutting your arm makes a really bad sting.
Blood is dripping from my arms and my heart,
Failing to dodge the largest deadly dart.

Drowning in all the lies and self pity,
I live each day but always feel sh*tty.
I have lots of thoughts about suicide,
But then I think about those who have died.

Those who have died not just from suicide,
But also those who are really nice guys.
...
...
...
...This "poem" was actually suppose to be a couplet (on any thing you want) for my english 
class but i made this kind bcuz i was feeling emo that day...and also after i was done i read it 
over and it almost sound like a rap song which, i guess, is kinda funny and cool.........


Details | Free verse | |

Suicide Note

This is the reason....
 Dear mom,
We never got along..
And you know that...
We constantly argue and disagree..
You make me feel like im a disappointment..
You made me feel as if i was never good enough.. 
You never made it seemed it like you actually cared..
 Dear Dad,
I know who you wanted me to be..
we used to not get along..
But now we do..
most of the time..
I know this is not who you want me to be..
I know this is not what you wanted me to do..
But i got no where to go..
You never seem to help..
 Dear the rest of the family
I know you are there for me..
But your reactions to what i do...
I just dont think i could deal..
I dont think you could help...
And i know you wouldnt understand..
 Dear Friends,
If i even dare call you that..
If you will care or not...
Even if you will notice...
I know some of you say your here for me..
But you dont understand..
I tried to tell one of you..
You just starred and wanted to tell everyone..
I am a human..
Im no different..
Im not some monster..
So i may be an outcast..
But does that really matter...
If only you could of helped me..
If only you didnt call me the names...
 Dear everyone,
Im sorry..
Im sorry for being a disappointment..
Im sorry for letting you down..
So that is why i have decided to leave..
So everyone will be happy..
Have a great life everyone..


Details | I do not know? | |

Unwanted

I feel like feces in a toilet
unwanted and flushed away
like a rotten egg; scorned
cracked and then thrown away
maybe even like spoiled milk
one taste and i make you sick;
then i'm thrown away
i'm like a bugger in your nose
you just got to get rid of me
like pigeon poop
you wouldn't want me to touch you
it's funny
because to me, you're
like a million bucks
i'll want you all the days of my life
but to you;
i'm just a tissue
that you use
and then,
throw
away


Details | Light Poetry | |

My Big Brother Is Watching You Too

"My Big Brother" up and down the street
  He could be anyone you meet
  Spying on you from the street
  Looking in from every beat
"My Big Brother" isn't that sweet

"My Big Brother" and I don't know why
  Casting in from above the sky
"My Big Brother" the commie spy
  Listening in do or die
  Bringing his book in
  Taught within
My Big Brother, 1-800-LET-US IN
  Caught with paper and a pen 
All because, "My Big Brother" let himself in


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Daddy Come Home

Missing you 
Wishing hoping 
you would stay with me
Love me
Talk to me 
But it feels like your carefree
I want you in my life
Needing you
I can't do this alone

I need a man at home
To teach me right from wrong 
I cant hear you
your to far
I wanna feel your every
Feeling
Cant believe your not here
To protect me
I need you to show me what a man is

Why daddy don't you
Love me
Why don't you care
The fear of you leaving
I can't bare 
Losing breathe losing my mind
Daddy why want you come
Home talk to me

Be here for me 
I needed you the most
And you was like a ghost
Gone without a story
Nothing left to give
Daddy how can't you hear
My sweet sweet voice saying your name
You didn't know i cry and hide all the 
sorrow and pain

Wishing you could love me 
You won't love me 
I find  love in all the wrong places 
I protect and hide all hurt faces
Don't look at me than you will
Probably see the pain 
From my daddy not loving me
Its a hard feeling to Gain


Details | I do not know? | |

Mindless

Drain my brain of everything
And leave me with nothing
My heartache
My pain 
My sorrow
My depression
My grief
But mostly take my bad memories
No bad thoughts matter to me
Block out my haunted past
Of the abuser of my mind
I only ask you that you leave the memoires of good friends
Leave my family
My love
My soul 
My kindness
My music
My ability to laugh
And my only natural talents
Music and what ever art that I can be taught...


Details | I do not know? | |

The Pain in My Heart

The pain in my heart is the same as the pain
Of a father whose son will look not at his face. 
The fact that my sufferings all were in vain
Is a thousand times more than the pain I then faced.

What, for the love of His son will a father do 
More than to lay himself at your feet, dead?
Is there a love of more kindness today than 
The love that forgave all His murderous fiends?

Why, my dear son, will your eyes open not?
When did thy heart ever alter to stone?
When did my soul filled with love for thy sake
In a thousand years ever leave you in lone?

Answer me, son, let my ears hear your lies,
Face me, my dear, with your pile of deceit,
Puncture my heart yet again, if you wish,
With the sword of a hatred I long to delete.

The piercing of nails and the beating of whips, 
Shall never come close to the pain I now feel
The pain in my heart is much more than the pain
Of a father whose son has forgotten of him.


Details | Ballad | |

lost souls

There we were driving down the road.
I said I love you and I meant it,
you sought my hand and took it.
There we were holding hands like two lost souls 
who don't know where to go.

I feel forgotten,
so lost,
nothing left to be strong for
maybe I'll give in...
to what?
I don't know,
anything that tempts a lost soul.

And you,
even your bones are sad
your very veins cry and yet...
you make plans
to fall in love,
move on.
I'm so...forgettable.

I may be lost
but at least I'm aware.

You don't know what to be
and you pretend to not grieve
as I cry behind my sunglasses
at the lucky fields who don't miss their mother.

Saw a mother 
pushing her child
on their homemade tire swing
and I was jealous.
My very heart turned green.
I wish it was me.
I wish it was me.

Five months and twenty four days.
Five months and twenty four days.

Never been away from her that long.
If she were pregnant it would be starting to show
oh
why do I think of such things?

Her Sunday drives to the beach.
Her Dad's cigar getting her sister in trouble.
Hearing God's name for the first time.
Falling in love when she met you.

Someone,anyone:
tell me it won't be longer.
Tell me it won't be much longer.


Details | Ballade | |

Coronation blues

Coronation Blues

Now I was just a little boy
In nineteen fifty two
{I think that was the year it was
It’s close, I’m telling you}
King George had died a while ago
And the good Princess was set
To wear the blessed crown of England
This day, I’ll not forget.

It was a damp, cold dismal day
In that grey old London town
I recall that there was drizzle too
And Lord, it really got me down.
I’m sitting there on my dads shoulders
I’m just on nine years old
And I didn’t care about no British Queen
For I felt much too cold.

So when I think of royalty
It don’t give me no glee.
It takes me back to London town
And all that misery.
Waiting for this foolishness
{Well, it bored me close to tears}
And still, that pomp, and old tradition
To me be not too dear.

23 July 2004


Details | Couplet | |

The Difference My Life He Did Make

The Difference My Life He Did Make

Precious are the memories which lift my soul
Soring to heights of remembered laughs
The joys having made eternal will always last
Good experiences for the lessons I did learn 
This life of a man who shared in kind
For in his living day by day
This man helped me in showing the way
A way of living as a better husband father and man
A way of living that I might stand
To stand tall for family friendship and right
That from this day-forth his trodden path reflects light
Light to shine when worries I do care
Light to glow my path when in despair
I rejoice to know the difference my life he did make


In remembrance of my Father-In-Law
Poem by Mark A. Goodson (son-in-law)
10/26/2012


Details | Rhyme | |

Daddy's Girl

Played out by 'My way' Presley not Sinatra, the funeral procession of my estranged father,

I can't say I was sad that my father had died, but the relief when let loose all those
fears I'd hide,

he did some stuff which I like think he felt shame, he played with my childhood like some
hand in a game,

simple as that, did it matter or not? that depended entirely on the amount in the pot!

So now I can tell you all I was too scared to say, how you made me fearful every minute of
each day,

belittled by every word that you spoke, damaged maybe, but not totally broke,

thrown on the streets as a child of five, no coping skills of how to survive, took in by
the police frightend and weak, terrified to answer, afraid to speak,

returned to my Father as a runaway brat, as soon as they left I came under attack,

my one only friend by whom I was honestly loved was taken from me by your hand in black
gloves,

Bonnie my dog was so golden and bright, why drown her in the bath under the darkness of night?

Not done with your evil you were so damn depraved, you then made me bury her in a shallow
grave,

whilst with friends your an angel well known, end of the evening  the devil came home,

and the beatings so violent likes a child should not know, and I'd pray every night that
you would just go,

why did you hate me? what was my crime, to be the object of hatred time after time,

well your gone now and buried and your not living in me, I cast you out - Daddy I'm free! 


Details | Rhyme | |

Footprints In The Snow

They followed his footprints into the snow
Not listening to what he said
He told them plainly, they couldn't go
But they followed their hearts instead

The mountains were windy and cold that year
Back in eighteen-sixty-three
When two brothers would one day disappear
In the hills of Tennessee

The food they had was almost gone
When their Father left that day
He'd hunt that morning at the break of dawn
But he told his sons to stay

They begged and pleaded, they wanted to go
Just eight and ten years old 
They cried when their Father told them no
For it was much too cold

They waited 'til their Mother had gone to bed
And snuck out the cabin door
They would follow his tracks where ever they led
She wouldn't see them anymore

They found their bodies beside a log
Next to a frozen creek
The boys got lost in the mountain fog
Gone, almost a week

They followed his footprints into the snow
Not listening to what he said
He told them plainly, they couldn't go
But they followed their hearts instead


Details | Rhyme | |

Letters to my dad

How about them times! Some of them seem so goofy now, But what fun it was. How we laughed an laughed. What’s missing now Is your face I was your ace. Not a foot print I wouldn’t trace. Always wanted to be in your good grace. Never to act in hast. He would of never made it his place, To judge you; Is a lack of conversational taste. The fact that I adore you is but one of my truths. The way you shaped my views Puts others to waste. They have no clue to what the world holds outside of there face. I can help, But I’m not the man you where Dad. Sometimes I get so sad. And for real even mad. The world took the best person I ever had.


Details | Narrative | |

Our Little Girl

The light I see
In your eyes
only when I speak of her.
Our little one.
She would have had your eyes,
your nose.
she would have had my hair 
and my my mouth.
Our little girl would have been perfect.
But that horrible day in July,
I cried and I hated myself.
That horrific day in July when I lost her.
My world broke down.
Now when I speak of her. 
Your eyes water up, 
as do mine.
But one day we'll see her. 
I promise.
Our little girl, 
is waiting for us.
I promise.
And one day,
she'll finally say daddy.
Our little girl.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Hustlers Prayer

Dear heavenly father 
I pray to you now, 
submitting myself humbly 
with my knees on the 
ground……
I know you seen the 
times I messed around claiming that I knew 
you but threw your 
name to the ground, understanding why 
you cast upon me 
your frown.
I don’t deserve 
nothing more, unless 
its your anger a 
fury of course.
I’ve done so wrong 
yet you continue to 
let me go on, why 
you choose my life 
to have such a 
hold on.
Show me my purpose 
if its good I'll 
accept it if it’s 
bad I deserve it.
I’m still young and 
not very wise I 
believe it’s the 
reason why I put 
on this disguise. 
You know which one, 
it fights a lot 
and plays with guns.
Lord you know how 
I can rid of this, 
yet you give me freedom 
of choice and a bad 
decision is what I’m 
left with.
Your angels constantly fighting to protect 
me, set me free from 
this evil and let 
my love shine for 
thee.
If not than help me proceed to things that 
are right and not 
wrongfully, to help 
me make a decision 
willingly and not 
end up beat up and 
battered spiritually.
I try to pray out 
loud lord you know, 
but my feelings are 
at there utmost when 
I write to you 
through the Holy Ghost.
Lord hear my cries 
and have mercy, let 
me drink from the 
spiritual cup, please 
I'M SO THIRSTY!!!


Details | Rhyme | |

Choices

The man walks on,
through the nightmares and dreams,
his only intent
to be wanted (it seems).

Looking in through a window
from out in the cold—
watching softly as
his family unfolds.

Knowing he’ll never be safe
or warm within,
for you see— his existence
has been branded a sin.

Though he yearns to be welcomed,
and has stories to tell,
he chooses his silence...
creating his hell.

Will he ever be happy?
Surely not. He believes
he belongs with the beggars,
the artists, the thieves. 

A long time ago
he gave up his true voice.
The true tragedy here is
that he made his own choice.

Hide and seek with his soul,
the only way to win,
is to drown in the drink...
bury it deep within.


Details | Rhyme | |

daddy stop

daddy stop,
it hurts too much,
your fingers burn,
the skin you touch,
daddy stop,
please go away,
you say it's just,
the way we play,
daddy stop,
im six years old,
i promise i'll learn,
to do what i'm told,
daddy stop,
don't come tonight,
so you and mommy,
don't have to fight,
daddy stop,
mommy cries,
you tell me,
to tell her lies,
daddy stop,
i've gone away,
and my little sister,
doesn't want to play.

if you or some one you know can relate please tell some body. let them help you.
@};~ read mommy listen. it goes with this.


Details | Quatrain | |

Reflections

Through the window of life I look
To tomorrow, a different day
Thoughts of my husband my love
Lost to wars theatre decay

When I awake every morning
And look at the faces of our kids
When do I tell them their daddy's gone
And lift our lives from this rid

What do I tell them
Every time they hear the door
When they think its their father 
Who won't be coming home anymore

What do I tell myself
When I retire every night
Touching the side where he once lay
The one who held me tight

What do I tell them
When I'm tear laden day to day
What do you tell twins of one year old
When they don't understand what I say

When do I tell myself
That tomorrows a different day
Reflections are left of what could have been
For war has left its say




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-6.php


Details | Free verse | |

The Lonely Road to Adoption

 IRREFUTABLY, this 2001 wrongful adoption odyssey should rate as America’s “one to show for the ages;” or at least until the next millennium! 

“This placing happened in that year’s autumn of season - yet, it actually had begun 
around the century’s turn without rhyme or reason. It had cut a swath across 
America by way of telephone poles, lonely back roads and flew higher than from 
where a raven crows! It weathered Colorado’s January bitter cold, right on through 
the state of Michigan’s lake effect windblown snow, with no return address - and all 
before life’s given first breath!”
                                                                   An Unknown Father



Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Teen Pregnancy 5: Out-Of-Control Teen Mothers

Those teen moms are and/or will have been up to no good, especially by going to unsupervised parties, doing drugs, and stuff. They had their babies not too long ago, but they continue their out of control ways, including by way of neglecting their own offspring? I mean, who in the world does that kind of stuff? It seems that the parents (thee mothers and/or the fathers) really should've kept their teen daughters locked up in their rooms and on top of all that, those underage girls, they never should've been teen mothers to begin with. On top of all that, those teen girls were supposed to concentrate on their education instead of messing around with those womanizing fiends. There's always a problem with teen girls-turned-teen mothers; they’re always having unprotected sex with multiple guys, drinking alcoholic beverages (vodka, beer, and rum, e.g.), using illegal drugs, and stuff. All teen girls should be ashamed of themselves, not taking care of the ones who’ve brought them into God’s green Earth. The only ones who’re responsible for getting those teen girls pregnant, thereby bringing the infants to this world are those dead-beat teen fathers. It’s their fault. They did this. They brought those kids into this world. What those teen girls should’ve done was to have told their loser boyfriends to use condoms, otherwise they never would’ve gotten pregnant. Not only have those out-of-control teen mothers put their own families at risk with their reckless behaviors, they also put their own children at risk, and it’s got to stop right here, right now!Those teen girls, they shouldn’t be mothers at an early age, let alone 13 or 17 and they definitely shouldn’t be putting their own children in a dangerous environment, thereby being harmed by those cold-blooded gang bangers and/or drug-dealers. The reckless behaviors of all teen mothers will have gotten their own children killed or worse. The employees of Child Protective Services and the local police are going to hear this. Everybody’s seeing multiple life sentences in the future and those teen mothers should not just be stripped of their parenting rights, they should also lose custody of their children. It’s making everybody sick just thinking about it. And if this type of ordeal continues to go on, it’ll lead straight to destruction. All teen guys, use condoms! All teen girls, keep your legs closed! And all teen lovebirds, keep your clothes on! No children until after education is completed and marriage!


Details | Rhyme | |

Our parents

I do miss them everyday,
To state the facts
I know ill never get them back,
Sleep that's what I lack
In
Conversational
Understandings
We got each other,
because they where just- that- smart
A want to interact,
with us,
as equals,
but we where aware,
they where parents.
This,
Absolutely okay.
The vision may be myopic,
but I will never,
blame them.
For being naive


Details | Free verse | |

Alone

I bet you that you didnt care
about how i was doing over here
all alone on the floor drowning in life that's poor.
Confused and all by myself,
feeling that i lost all self-control.

I bet that you dont care
how my mom helped you with welfare, 
trying to do whats right you burn a house
in all your shame you go to jail and
 fail to show up for my birth.

I bet you don't know how it was,
to be without a dad who lost his self,
in the dark all alone he sits in a phsyco home.

Where his mom feeds him and,
tells him how she tried to see me,
after fifteen years i fell apart, trying to pick up my broken heart,
but still i bet you didn't know how it felt to be alone.


Details | Free verse | |

For Nate 'The Great'

Singing
With tears 
In your eyes
As you stared at me
With the most caring gaze.

Your childhood
Sung in sweet lyrics,
They lingered in my ears
As my throat began to tighten
With sadness.

What's that, dear?
Your parents beat you?
Never a word spoken 
To anyone?

It made you a better man?
No dear,
It caused horrid memories.

Your father 
Brought you to a bar
And let his friends beat you 
With bottles?

My dear
Sweet Nate,
Keep singing.

Your mother 
Was addicted to drugs
And violence?

What ever happened
To her?
She's buried six feet under?

What about your father?
Prison
With the other abusive men?

Scars
Dug deep 
In your skin
Jump to my sight
As I quietly whimper
With your soft voice.


Details | Couplet | |

Embedded Ivory

-Listen To Those Keys of Ivory Boy,
                          They'll Help You To Forget -

Everyday Was Pain, Red Sashes Across The
Hands and Wrists. Face Red with Anxiety.

                                      - Never Miss a Note -

The Cane Bore Down With Such Velocity,
That The Crack Matched the Entailing Scream.

                     - Hours of Endless Practice... -
                                             - Its For You Papa... -

The Notes Struck with Such Precision, Accuracy
And Intimacy, That the Boys Tears Spattered the White.

                                        - Silence -

His Father Frozen to The Floor, No Expression,
No Sound... "Go To Your Room Son"

                                         - Bare Feet Against Wood -

There Would be No Screams That Night,
No Red Marks to Hide From The World.

                                         - Just Rest -

Crying, He Soaked His Pillow as He Smiled and 
Closed His Eyes.

                                         - His Father Sat at The Piano... -

                             - His Fingers Laced With The Tears of a Prodigy -


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Son Is Autistic Part 1

This day I awoke, I had spent nights up before, 
till the point my body is what gave in. 
One would say I was probly depressed, 
but I like to think I spent it, 
asking myself what I already knew. 

I can remember feeling, 
love, shame, anger and happiness, 
all after opening my eyes, 
i wanted to but i couldnt bring myself to cry. 

I manged to get dressed, 
and while it seemed like forever, 
before I knew it, 
it was time to go. 

The ride there, was drivin in silence, 
neither of us realy talked, 
the music singing sounds, 
that I couldnt realy hear. 
I have never felt so alone 
and I asked myself...can I do this? 

When we arrived, I prepared myself, 
only for what I already knew. 
they greeted me with honesty, 
and a calming I can't describe, 
and i wonderd if, 
perhaps Kim had felt this way. 

They spoke with words they probly didnt think I understood, 
but have been through so many tests myself, 
now my child was the one, 
the one about to be labled. 
I had to ask myself "Is this my fault?" 

I would like ta say when they told me, 
I broke down and cryed, 
the truth is I felt nothing, 
and I began to ask myself why.


Details | I do not know? | |

This is the TRUE Story of Six Sisters Part 1 Finding out Jenny Was My Sister

Finding out Jenny Was My Sister…1987/1988

I had been known Jenny was my sister since late my sophomore year at Blackford High 
School. We had a class together. We were not close friends, but we would in say hi to each 
other. I knew my birth fathers last name was _____. So one day, I asked my mom about 
her, and she said yes, that she was my sister, and it was up to me if I wanted to let her 
know we were sisters. Well, being I was so young, I was scared she would reject me.
So I let that opportunity pass me by. Each time I would see her though, I would be more 
sweet and friendly to her. She soon graduated with the _______Class of 1988 and I never 
saw her again. But she was never far from my mind.






(names removed for our privacy)


Details | Lyric | |

In Your Love

Every time you kiss my lips 
I am drowning, I'm drowning
Like a never ending abyss
I am drowning, I'm drowning
Every time you whisper I miss you
I am drowning, I'm drowning
In your love,  in your love.

Life doesn't seem dangerous
When I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
Don't take it so serious
Cause I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
I don't care what they think of us
Cause I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
In your love, in your love

~ Leonard Napierskie


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Day

I am coming home
late once again.
It's freezing outside,
and I want to see my dad
whome I love.
I'm happy with my friends
until I walk through the door with them,
the worst mistake I could ever make.
Dad was okay
but then his treacherous girlfriend
who calls herself a "woman of God"
says "You're just going to let
her get away with coming home late
with her friends?!"
Dad shrugs his shoulders.
"You're not raising her right.
I'm leaving."
Then Dad gets furious,
but only with me.
He storms through the kitchen at me,
angry, arms flailing.
I didn't know that his next words
would change my life forever. 
"You made me lose
my house and my girlfriend.
I want nothing to do with you,
you're not my daughter anymore.
I don't love you.
I want you out tonight."
I lose all control-
bursting into tears, running to the bathroom.
As I collapse on my knees I cannot control the tears,
I cannot breathe. 
My breath comes in between long sobs.
My chest hurts. 
It hurts so badly,
the love I've lost.
My aunt's arms are wrapped
around me, but it doesn't help.

-Caroline Youngless


Details | Free verse | |

Us

The strangers came today
they said you were gone.
Gone? 
Impossible.
They're wrong.
It's a mistake,
a sick joke,
a horrible dream.
You can't be gone.
It's too soon.
There's so much left unsaid,
so much left to do,
so much life left to live.
We need more time,
we need you.
So they're wrong…
completely, totally, 
and irrevocably, wrong.
It's a mistake,
a sick joke,
a horrible dream.
It has to be...
right?
Yeah, of course it is.
Cuz I'm not ready.
Nowhere near ready
to let you go,
to say goodbye,
to accept the truth,
to face reality,
to admit you're gone.
So for now,
I choose to believe that
they're liars,
and lunatics,
and bastards.
For now, they're wrong.
And everything's as it should be.
You are you.
We are as we've always been…
together,
a team,
a family.
Quite simply,
we are...us.


Details | Bio | |

My angel

You were bright and beautiful from the moment i found out i was carring you. A beautiful angel in disguide. Not only were you my child, but a part of me my own flesh and blood, my angel sent from above. Even tho i never met you, you were mine and i loved you. I could only imagen what you would look like, and all i knew you were perfect in everyway. Then your destiney came and your fate was sealed. I couldnt stop it, I couldnt make it go away, you were taken from me and my heart stopped. I loved you from the begining and I'll love you till the day i draw my last breath, your my angel from above taken from me to soon.


Details | Epic | |

Hell To The Grave Part 2

A knife digs into my leg.
 I look down and see my leg turning the same colour as the other’s skin.
Rotting, putrid flesh, spreading its disease up my thigh.
Pain arcs across my chest, spilling into my neck. 
My hands, they’re becoming tentacles as well. 
I can feel my bones shattering, slicing through my skin.

A flash of pain, and I’m on my knees.
My head is splitting from the pain. I can’t even think.
What’s my name?
 Where am I?
 I hear a hoarse voice in the back of my mind.
Give in. Let go. Now.
Unfortunately I don’t have a choice. My mind, it feels crowded.
Something is in my mind. 
“GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!” I scream, deafening myself.
A blood red is creeping across my vision, clouding my view.
More piercing pain, I can feel my back snapping. 
I topple over to my side. My body is convulsing uncontrollably.
Finally, the pain gets the best of me. I can’t take it any longer.
The pressure in my head, consuming my being. 
I attempt one last bravado. 
I cling to one memory. 
The memory of the girl. 
My daughter. 
But soon even she is corrupted. 
The voice, calling to me. Tempting me. Strangling my mind. 

Then, just before I black out, I hear her voice.
Come play with the me. Join us.
The sickly sweet, echoing charm of her morphs into a deep, throaty rumble.

Join me in the grave.
I am the Gravemind.


Details | Haiku | |

Father by part

                                                  They use a part
                                                       To play a part
                                                          Then, they depart.

By: Sabina Nicole
Written:2/8/13


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Wishing you could love me too

You mean so much to me, more then you'll ever know. 
More then ill ever be able to describe.
But I'll try.
Voice of a angel, touch ever so soft you would think its a feather.
Eyes so beautiful seeing them on a sunset day, medusa stare ever so hypnotizing locking eyes can't look away.
Baby in the tummy, heart just started beating giving me a rush that I really needed.
Love so old I feel defeated.
Even though I do everything for you, I'm looking out for me just keeping a close over view upon you.
How can I fix your life if mine isn't alright, but i don't know where id ever be with out you by my side.
And I thought I'd never know but as of now I'm pushing through. 
Now that your gone, I miss you every night.
But I gotta be strong.
Cause if not you'll be gone and ill be with a baby missing its mom.


Details | Free verse | |

A Prayer For Healing

Father,
Do not let me be the demon I have created me to be.
I am the product of myself and my negativity.
I trust You.
I love You.
I thank You.
In Your name,
We pray,
Amen.


Details | Rhyme | |

One august morning

One August morning, waiting for those birthday presents, Then with no warning, down stairs came my parents, And with them came a special surprise, Our family was ending , due to lies. Divorce was the word of choice, Pain in my fathers voice , Too young to understand, Why this was being planned, Ever since this damn event, My family has grown more distant. Soon after mom was gone, My eldest sis embarked upon, A journey of her own. My other sis went with mom, All alone with dad .com, Stayed with him a couple of years, Soon followed the steps of my family peers, I feel bad for leaving, Left my father , alone and grieving, Why should I be the one to stay, When it comes down to it, were all grey, One day maybe we, Can once again be family.


Details | Haiku | |

Monument

Forgotten but here
Remembered yet never there
Why do you exist?


Details | I do not know? | |

For Amanda

Why should a child be left behind?
Left behind to try and fight
My niece is small but oh so smart
But they want to send her back

She is kind and so very wise
But is afraid to stand and say 
I am smart, I want to stay

Abused by her father
Broken down by the parent that should have protected her
And now, I her aunt am here to say fathers like that
Should die today! 

My niece is small and afraid of all ‘cause one who should 
Have held her dear took away her innocence. 
I will stand and fight for her. 
I will hold her so very near and never let her shed a lonely tear again


Details | Rhyme | |

SOME WEEP, SOME REJOICE

And we all thought that Christmas
was a jolly season for all ages,
but we've ignored pain...not seeing tears
roll down those cold and fearful cheeks!

Some weep, some rejoice...
others don't celebrate, but rage with malicious eyes;
wasn't that child's birth announced by angelic voices
that attested He was God's choice?


Depression is the worst kind of sadness,
and unless the noticeable signs are felt or filled with alarm:
we may lose persons very dear to us...
before tragedy strikes, intervene to save them from harm!


Some weep, some rejoice....
many show blind belief and resist
to give the Redeemer due praise;
they are the fools who follow a cult!  

 
Why should this holiday be so sad,
wasn't Jesus born to bring us joy...
that's what every joyful angel proclaimed
as they crowned Him king for eternity!


Some weep, some rejoice...
others don't conceive the true worth of Heavenly glory,
they hate goodness and despise holiness:
mocking and twisting the pure image of faithful Mary!


Details | Prose Poetry | |

The Last Journey

Beating drums mark his last march and fifes play lowly, a breeze blows on blackthorn blossoms,
Raised high above on hardened shoulders for the mourning march, that slowly glides him along,
A hero, a name carved in precious polished stone, this is his last the most important journey,
The drums roll, bearers sway quietly with each step, a fife plays sadly bringing burning tears.

Winter, its hard wrinkled face and rough horny hands froze men to death stuck in no mans land,
It has no friends in this evil hated war and happily takes wounded men, a trophy to its might,
Thick mud is sometimes frozen and is like granite as the brave settle waiting for the whistle,
Some died with honour, their bravery hard to understand, bearers proudly shoulder such a man.

The parade stops at a grave, they lay their comrade down on planks of wood covering the hole,
The innocence of sweet youth taken away, living with bitter hating men, fear drives them on,
This boy was different he believed in the cause and he died for that sacred belief, honour,
The drum roll stops and a bugle plays the last post, men with their head bowed pray for help.

At home all are working in their gardens, a father mows grass, turning earth fresh and mellow,
Young flowers spring up in his boarders they have a delicate, poetic beauty a snow drop grows,
His boy, in fields far away, just as delicate as these new flowers when he took the shilling,
A father stops, can he hear the drums slowly and fifes playing lowly as his boy is lowered down.


Details | Epic | |

Hell To The Grave Part 1

Hell freezes over. Fire into ice. 
Ice…but without the chill, the cold.
I try to rethink how this happened. 
How a world so green, so vibrant, become hell. 
And now a pale white wasteland.

Agony to relief. A relief that can’t possibly last. 
Impossibilities. A dream. Numbness.
As I emerge from my shelter, built to withstand dry heat, not cool precipitation.
I wonder at the beauty of this new and strange world.
The scorching I’ve received, now soothed by the cooler air.
Miniscule crystals, floating slowly to the earth, sticking to my hair. 
Like dust. Not cold.

I see others as well, marveling at this white world,
 revealing themselves to be inadequately clothed for this overnight change.
I hear a child’s laughter, excited screams as she experiences the cold for the first time.

I turn to watch, a smile on my face. 
There in the white, brash scarlet stains the pureness. 
The girl’s excitement turns to anguish.
She clutches her head, letting out a piercing cry.
Before my eyes, she transforms. 
Her arms, becoming broken and lengthy, ending in tentacles.
Her face, distorted beyond recognition.

More cries, bawling, hammering of fists.
All around me, those whom I’ve grown up with become unrecognizable.
Their skin becomes a sickly green beige, the colour of vomit.

Suddenly everything stops. Silence…






Details | I do not know? | |

boungiorno

hello! hey! boungiorno! what is the date?/
this world of dimensions created duality/
no letters/ no words/ are enough to express/
someone like you/ in reality/

i filled all your emptines/ MY still quiet bay/
as Jhon opened world in his Yoko/
you searched perfect princes/ looked for "right him"/
now at only one overman looking/

i swear/ i will hold you/ as much as i can/
would become all the axes/ and outer space/
voice is speared by the screaming wind/
falling down/ flakes to your place/

going crazy just seeing your knees/
don't regret anything/ my Benito/
unbelievable/ perfect/ unbearable/
you whisper/ "la comedia e finita"//


Details | Lyric | |

Jus A Dream

If my dad can see me now 
He would have a smile on his face
He would say look at my son
Growing up into the man you see today
He would take you through my life story
From frame to frame
And how I was poor and homeless
To making more than minimum wage
He would pick up my babies
Kiss and hug his granddaughters
Whisper to my wife and say
Im glad he made a decision that was smarter
Eat dinner and afterwards
Watch my girls’ eye blinks get longer
Help me put them in bed stand next to me and say
Today we’re both proud fathers
Sometimes I sit back and think
What it would be like if he was here standing next to me
We would get a beer of the frigerator
He would tell me im his best recipe
The wind blows hard and fast
And I noticed no longer was he next to me
The pain hit me like a kick
Then I realized it was just a dream


Details | Rhyme | |

About, Me & You

You & me, so long we've been together,
Why can't you see?  Look inside..  I would never,
Ever want to be, a traitor to my lover,
You're the mother of my child, there could never be another.

I love to think about the day when we first met,
The day you walked into my life, how could I forget?
I let you deep into my heart, now my mind's set,
Because I love you, there's not a single regret.

It's never black and white, we are both shades of grey,
Now the world is full of colour and it's a fine day,
You extend my power, nothing gets into our way,
They say that love is blind, but this vision's here to stay.

Now this feeling's been refined, in the fires of time,
That have raged through our hearts, all along the line,
Your smile shines down on my face, so divine,
It's a crime to wastle a love, that is so sublime.

I can be the rock, that weathers the storm,
When the cold creeps in, I'll still be warm,
I'm no Millionaire, though I'm richer than you know,
Because I've got you Girl.

When we were broke, we still didn't choke,
The hardtimes fell, but we saw it as a joke!
We worked and played hard.. but we saw the smoke,
As the pressure awoke, to bring stress and to provoke.

Opposites attract, because we both come back,
It's a fact that I missed you, be we never ever lacked,
Any reason to react, you'll agree, we're both cracked,
You high-jacked my heart!  So start showing some tact!

Let us stay this way, today and tomorrow,
And any other day..  there are plenty more to follow,
We've no debt to pay, no reason to borrow,
We've got a light to shine, in the darkness of sorrow.

It has been so long Girl, we've gotta be strong,
And let time make right, what once went wrong,
I'll sing you any song..  in my heart you belong,
I just know we should carry on..

I was the rock, that weathered the storm,
The cold crept in, and I was still warm,
I'm no Millionaire, but I'm still richer than you know,
But now I haven't got you Girl..


Details | I do not know? | |

worthless

"Why have I awoken?"
The thought when night was broken.
I pinched myself and groaned,
And sat there feeling doomed.

Prepared, like the daily routine
Rushed and ran to avoid being late
"Eat," Dad said. "No father, I'm fine"
Along the road, "today I leave all to fate".


Details | Free verse | |

In The Valley Of The Mountains



I step into the new day.

Standing, 
in the valley of the mountains,
The red dawn predicts change.

Inside, a cloak of darkness hangs.

Daniel sits,
confused,
in his brown reclining chair.

Birds cut low through the morning sky.

Knowingly,
Earth follows the Laws of Nature,
rain will soon fall.

Lingering,
he grapples with mortality,
as death's cloak falls over him.

The storm breaks hard.

I cry,
in the valley of the mountains,
where the dawn predicts change. 


Re-post from 1/2010




Details | Quatrain | |

Living with Mother Nature's Bruise

We turned to each other when we heard on the news
Our daughters place of work, enduring mother nature's bruise
She worked on an island now swamped with wrath
To her we now travel to retrace her last path

To go there blind never knowing if she breathes
Thoughts think the worst as we subconsciously grieve
Our daughter, our life, as we make plans to depart
Facing hours of torment as our minds tear apart

To this island we head where she enjoys life to the full
Thinking back to her young years, learning in school
This paradise as she calls it, in the Indian Ocean
Our minds picture, her love to live notions

We step of the plane into a world far from home
Praying we find her, dead or alive, to never roam
To the north of the island, Aceh is it's name
Is this where we find her, with no one to blame

We reach the village, it's where our daughter calls home
Teaching the youngsters English along the beaches they combed
We wander dazed and confused, joining the crying and the grieving
Emotional rescuers surround us, they just keep on believing

Hand in hand we stare hoping, as our eyes glimpse the lost
Our daughters not there, as we join the emotional exhaust
Suddenly I feel a tugging on my sleeve
Lady lady, you my teachers mama, come with me please

Looking down, my eyes cascading with tears
A beautiful young girl, momentarily relieving my fears
Lady lady, please please, come with me please
To a makeshift hospital she takes us, our hearts so in unease

To a door we arrive, she cries, mama's teacher mama's teacher
As she is led away by the hospital preacher
We are greeted by a doctor, taken through corridors of death
The relieving earlier felt, now replaced by inner reft

The stench of death drifts, lost souls we feel crying
Resonating sounds echo, the last breaths of the dying
Cubicle after cubicle, every curtain our hearts run
In broken English, is she the one, is she the one

The second curtain from the last, the doctor once again opens
Despair and tears increase, parents lost in their hoping
Before us lies, a broken twisted bandaged soul
The tattoo on her ankle, I cry Nicole, it's our Nicole

Engulfed with emotions our cheeks streaming with tears
Viewing the earlier posters, parents losing their fears
Living this moment, realising their daughter has lived
As we look back to the pictures, knowing families are sieved

Words we will remember until the day we are gone
That moment we heard, is she the one, is she the one


Details | Rhyme | |

The Addiction Of Pornography


The Addiction Of Pornogtaphy...

.
A Christian brother had a confession.
Pornography in his life was an addiction .
I couldn't believe the words 
I began to hear.
As a message of hopelessness from 
his lips began to appear.

I began to see tears running down his cheek.
“I go to counseling once a week.”
This was a “man of God” as many believed.
True joy and fulfillment were no longer achieved.

As the lust in his heart began to burn.
Jesus-his once true love-he longed to return.
In the coming days and weeks ahead.
So many ungodly thoughts entered his head.

He began to lose his family and all he cherished.
His life before him began to perish
Then one night in deep agony, 
to God, he cried out;
“Is this what life is really all about?”


“Dear Jesus...in repentance I come to you.”
“I have sinned against God and my family too.”
He forsook the things he thought gave him pleasure.
And lived according to God's word
—his true treasure.
Run from every evil temptation
& lust of the flesh.
Or your life will end up in a huge mess!

Pornography in your life will destroy and decay.
From it's appearance—you must run away!
Enjoy Godly relationships as
Christ meant them to be.
Walk anew in God's love—Only HE 
can SET YOU FREE!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Lord, Why Did You Take Him? (Monody)


He always praised and loved the mountain folklore, 
Sang songs in sparkling summer or in cold winter. 
Ahh, but now the legend shall sing songs no more, 
Nor will this li’l warbler listen to his banter.

I have known him so well, too sweet for my name, 
When he gently held these tiny hands to play.
Him, Oh I could not forget nor put to shame,
But the selfish touch of fate took him away.

I have lost him, my daddy, to the giant tree;
His echo swiftly fading in the cloudless noon sky.
If the sacred rocks would just give him back to me,
So I might, again, hear him sing ere to sleep I lie.  


Details | I do not know? | |

I Hate

I hate the birth mark under my right eye
I hate my extremely static hair
I hate my big bottom lip
I hate my spotty nose

I hate that I have really *****y times
I hate that people only remember me for my really *****y times
I hate that the real *****es hate me
I hate being cautious so they don’t ***** about me

I hate that I cry over everything
I hate that people know I cry over everything
I hate that I hide from them anyway
I hate that they actually don’t care 

I hate the fact that my brother is leaving home next year
I hate the fact that I cried when he told me that
I hate the fact that I hid my tears from him
I hate the fact that he’s all I really have left

I hate my father for making me feel like he doesn’t care about me
I hate my mother for making me feel like she picked him over me
I hate that my brother had to look after me when they couldn’t be bothered
I hate that, in my eyes, they don’t deserve to be called mum and dad

I hate that when I was younger I had to run away from my father
I hate that my mother and brother left me by myself that day
I hate that they left me closer to my father
I hate that they went somewhere I would have felt safer

I hate that I feel like my friends are slowly fading away from me
I hate that I feel like I’m a third wheel
I hate that I feel like my friend’s don’t trust me
I hate that I feel like I can’t trust my friends

I hate the feeling of loneliness
I hate that I read books to escape to a world better than mine
I hate that I write to create a better life than my own
I hate that people want to invade that one heaven I invented

I hate that people ask me why I made Katy Clover Taylor
I hate that I had to make a role model for myself
I hate that she is the person I desperately want to be
I hate that she is the one thing I will never live up to

I hate that I feel like my grades would grasp my families attention
I hate that feeling of disappointment when I get a bad grade
I hate feeling like I have to live up to an expectation to hold their attention
I hate that I am relied on because of my grades

I hate that I am an older mind trapped in a younger body
I hate that I am limited in what I can do because of my age
I hate not being trusted upon
I hate people treating me as a kid

I hate not telling people how I feel
I hate hiding behind an invisible barrier
I hate not being able to share how I feel with people
I hate being scared that they won’t care.

I hate people judging me
I hate judging people
I hate that feeling of giving up
I hate the feeling of losing when I didn’t give up

I hate the choices I have made
I hate that nobody thinks I can live up to my dream
I hate people thinking they are so much better than me
I hate the fact that they are right

I hate that I will never make a good girlfriend
I hate the fact I know nobody would fall for me
I hate knowing that no one would help me pick up my life
I hate that it has fallen apart

I hate hurting the people I love
I hate them not loving me anymore
I hate knowing that what I would do would hurt people
I hate the fact I do it anyway

I hate knowing that I do all of this
I hate knowing I hate all of this
I hate trying to change it
I hate that I am not able to change it

I hate that I try not to give up hope
I hate knowing all hope is lost
I hate that I still try and cling to it anyway
I hate knowing I failed at that too

But most of all

I hate not being able to express this until now
I hate that this still won’t change a thing
I hate thinking that it still might
I hate knowing that no one cares


Details | Sonnet | |

Echoing abuse

His words concealed a life so full of lies
His hand was soft which held her gentle palm
She raised her head and looked into his eyes
Without a twitch he played her heart with calm

He knew the signs the ways to find his prey
He’d showed his smile and hid his means to harm
It was for him a laugh a game to play
Where he portrayed a mask with grace and charm 

From young till now with ease she chose wrong men 
And then she’d fight to keep her man in vain 
She craved their rage became the nagging hen
It seemed as if she aimed to live with pain

Dad hid mum and he found a mum to hit
Mum loved dad and she was treated like sh*t


Details | ABC | |

Why Dad

The look on your 
Tells me everything I need to know
I'm a disgrace to you
Doing nothing 
What can I do
To make you proud of me?
I'll do it for you
Just tell me how.
I look for your love
In the depths of your eyes
I see nothing
Please tell me why.
Dad, it's me 
Your little girl
You brought me here 
Into this  world
Yes, I'm though 
But my heart on the floor
I've had enough
I can't take it anymore.


Details | I do not know? | |

When my world collapsed

I stand in front of your grave
You were so bold and brave
Death unexpected so full of life

Undeserving fate
My timing to late
That last night I saw you we had a fight

Guilt ridden struck me these past 4 years
I still occasionally leak tears
It's still surreal to not have you here with me and my sister

If there is a heavan please look down on us we need you
Were not doing great
I'm angry and full of hate

From losing you the prettiest mother 
My distant father
And my other baby sister

Lost forever burried six feet under
Free are suffering soul
Fill this expanding hole

To my lost family rest in peace I will forever love you


Details | I do not know? | |

Willow Tree

Who do you feel like today?
Do you even remember my name? 
 It's been 8 years since then,
Has the willow tree we sat under gone dead?

 I wonder if you've changed,
if you regret your biggest mistake.
 Do you feel the sorrow i feel?
Is this pain the only thing that feels real?

 I feel no sorrow now,
I only feel hatered for the world somehow,
 How could you rape your granddaughters?
And Forget your own son, My father?!

 How could you do this to me?
The only way how i feel now is to bleed.
 I put no effort, no feeling, no thought,
In the war, 
 This battle in my heart
 
 How do you feel like today?
Is it easier to know that your safe?
 Outta jail they let you out,
Why so you can pay your road to hell?

 So i plant me a willow tree,
right above the grass,
 below the leaves.

 I lay here below this willow tree,
My only friend beside of me,
 The memories still remain, 
Alone,
 But it's better off this way


Details | Rhyme | |

My Saddest Memory

"Imagine a lovely garden, tea for two,
          and this story.... "

When I was but a child,
My father he was my whole world.
On the night that he died
That world as I knew it... unfurled.

My mother and I were not close.
I was Daddy's little girl.
I had my father's eyes of green,
I had his hair, in wild curl.

I was a child, I saw him die.
No one should have such a memory.
My life that night forever changed.
I saw what no one should ever see.

Suicide is an ugly word.
It was never spoken about that night.
Truth was hidden from all who asked.
How could he think this solution right?

A childhood memory from long ago
Still brings tears when I recall
The night my father chose to die,
To run from life... and us all.






~~~ Francine Roberts~~~
            14/08/2011

for Constance's " I Fancy Another
Sad Poem" contest


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Waking up

A dash from the door,
and i felt my heart throbbing.
Your occurrence definitely,
meant the worst to happen.
I never knew what i could have done,
to experience your cruelty.
When i only needed a papa,
 to love me like his only daughter.

your yells bloody murder,
shook the whole neighborhood,
spreading smacks and hacks,
up in arms  for no reason.
Made scrub the whole dwelling,
as if i was a house help,
or a bustard from the shanties
who was an intruder to your whole being

"For the love of money,
is the root of all evil".
To no doubt,the video of the proverb,
was loading in front of me.
That money is thicker than blood,
And i can go to hell for all you cared.
I wondered why?
The olden poor days,
why they did flew away.
Then it was simple and joyous,
Although  it was hard to get all,
i could see your struggle,
i could see your care and anxiety,
to my well being,
Now i find it hard to plaster,
A smile to my face.

You told me,
Education was the key to a better future.
And when blessed with required resources,
You were going to offer me,
Your promises bored no fruit,
I only see your hatred and anger towards me.
From a lovely daughter,
Now you attract my attention,
Via a little devil.
From a joyous girl,
Now am always mourning.
From this deep sleep you put me in,
keep me wondering,
to where my earlier papa went?

All and all,
I could not forget the virtues,
you taught me,
Safely i saved like a print in my mind, 
To always pray and have faith in God.
To believe in what we do not see,
And like a 'pap',
my best papa in the world was there.
Together yawning from the long deep slumber.

Janet Muthoni
11-27-2012


Details | Rhyme | |

Daughter to Father

They threatened to rape me
I wish you were there
They wanted to kill me
Why weren't you there

I needed protection
I tried to ignore
I needed your affection
They pushed me to the floor

I cut so deep
So many pills I took
I still weep
At my wrist don't look

All of this I hide
Where are you now
The blood hasn't dried
I cut just now

I need you 
Where is my father
Days left I have few
This is your daughter


*Written on May 5, 2012*


Details | I do not know? | |

Father

you are my father
my knight in shining armour
my protecter, my guard
my helper when its to hard

but now your not here
i feel so alone
i cant see or hear you
my heart turns to stone

i finally see you
holding and caring for another girl
my heart is breaking
i want you back in my world


Details | Rhyme | |

My Dad Left Me My Heavenly Father Found Me

My Dad Left Me... My Father Found Me! I remember dad tucking me into bed each night. I somehow knew "everything was going to be allright." I remember the Bible stories he had read. Each night before I went to bed. I remember the smile dad had on his face. It was like "love all over the place." Then one night. he left. I didn't know why. The many nights I'd lay awake and cry. How could this happen? I was so sad... I became very upset, angry and mad. How could God let this happen to our family? I thought dad loved us and was happy. He never returned... Never did explain... I began to curse even the mention of his name. Then one day, I read the Bible and began to see... How much Jesus really does love me! I asked him to be the father of my life today. I'll never forget the words he had to say; "I'll be with you each step that is taken." I love you so much... You're never forsaken!" Jesus... my heavenly father, has given me love so precious. I have a relationship with him... that's so nutritious! My dad left me. My (heavenly) father found me. And now each day... His love surrounds me! By JIm Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

In The Valley Of The Mountains

I step into the new day.

Standing, 
in the valley of the mountains,
The red dawn predicts change.

Inside, a cloak of darkness hangs.

Daniel sits,
confused,
in his brown reclining chair.

Birds cut low through the morning sky.

Knowingly,
Earth follows the Laws of Nature,
rain will soon fall.

Lingering,
he grapples with mortality,
as death's cloak falls over him.

The storm breaks hard.

I cry,
in the valley of the mountains,
where the dawn predicts change.


Details | Ballad | |

A Question of Honor

Dedicated to Noor Al-Maleki You Try, You Try so hard To put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is it Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views You Have set me Free, Can't You See I Won't have to face a Tyrant anymore Your gaze used to Stun But Now It Just Burns Under the Sun Never Enough to Be Myself Never Enough to Be Free I will not Bow to You I will not Kneel Before You Smothering Liberty Condoning Freedom This way is unjust This way only brings out our worse Hatred and Mistrust War and malice no know law You Try, You Try so hard to put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views I am The Flame you Greatly Hate I am The Flame you greatly fear Some cannot handle the truth It shows they are the Criminals You are one of them You're the problem This misdeed will not live on without the hate of your name Honor Is not real It's just an emotion that only you feel You're another bulwark Against the truth No one Will Bow No one Will Kneel You Try, You Try so hard to put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is it Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views You Fear The Truth You Fear the reality you are the criminal against all humanity We must end these lies Before Honor Will Strike again You Try, You Try so hard to put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is it Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views


Details | Verse | |

elected

home land my claims my status false statements, interests of those of secondary gaines, to voice and ask inquires led to more flaggs of red what is to hide shcemes and lies slander is to cover white colar crimes, above the laws and rules, done best at....


Details | Rhyme | |

Sweet Demise

Father, I mourn not for the child you despise,
Your drunkenness or hurtful lies.
I mourn the father I wish I knew,
 
I envy the child with caring father,
When loving your kid was never a bother.
That tender side was just never you.
 
Father I mourn not for the abuse, 
Using a traumatic childhood, your excuse.
Your absence a blessing in disguise,

 I envy the loving father I never had,
The man I'd be proud to call dad.
Your death was a sweet demise.


Details | Rhyme | |

WYME 1

my destiny I have to resume
my purpose or so I presume
all doubt I have to exhume
responsibility I have to assume
its really never too late
or maybe it’s just fate
only God gives a clean slate
even when we have lots on our plate
people so particular about dates
all this time they use to hate
showing no pity even to sister kate
with perdition as their right-hand mate
I dream of a season
When I’ll finally see reason
The cause and need for all this treason
In a world where all trust is dead
Judgement day lies in wait like a bed
Unto lies we are lead
Into the abyss of uncertainty we’re spread
Sometimes I think I need a breather
I just can’t take it
Hook, line and sinker
There is so much at  stake
See how they tinker
Or dignity they finger
Our death-beds they make
Their lies flow forth like a lake
While in suffering we sleep and wake
It’s time we opened our mouth to talk
And oh, they’re gonna hear it all in bulk
My words are gonna hit them like the hulk
I’m so tired of sitting to sulk
In any event that I lose my life
At last I’ll escape for all this strife.


Details | I do not know? | |

When a house isnt a home

out of the car, and up the walk,
i go to the door and unlock the 
lock

loud voices through the  door
empties my heart  a little more

they yell about money, they 
yell about love
they yell about who goes down 
below or up above

she calls him crazy, he says 
"just maby"
he tells her he wants to go
she starts to cry and say she 
didnt know

then she starts to beg for 
forgivness
she wants to start over
but nobody really wants to 
relive this


i pull out the key and realize
now,
how things have to be 

this is when my house isnt a 
home to me                  





Details | I do not know? | |

Childs Hell

My small pristine flower, crushed while yet a bud.
My young innocence stripped, left trampled in mud.
Walk away. Collect your cash, no emotion for me.
Little body bruised, torn with blood. Drugged blind, you do not see.
Daddy, why did you do it and why don’t you care?
You helped them shred me, then turned away and left me bare.
I am only a small child. I am too weak to fight back.
Tied to a dens table, men’s eyes, hands grope, and lips smack.
Manhood against young maiden, tiny body burned by the rope.
This, a grand hellish party with drink and much dope.
Why do you abuse me, and just what have I done?
You began this cruel nightmare when I was but one.
Four years spread like thin butter, passed like a hat.
Left to fend for myself, a small, hungry, dirty stray cat.
For the rest of my life, I am damaged because of your sin.
Thirty one now, still, life is a night terror in which there are men!

                                                                                       Summer Gratias


Details | Bio | |

Galloping Through the Night

I'm galloping,
Galloping through this storm,
Rain pounding my cloak,
A feeling of blindness coming over,
Then again,
I wasn't supposed to leave,
My warm home,
Until the suns wave of light,
Comes through my curtains so bright,
Anger I see,
Will fill my fathers every word,
But it is too late,
I'm an adventurer,
Not a daughter,
I was never a good daughter,
To thee,
He gave me all,
Yet all I see is entrapment,
His every whim being fulfilled,
For his lonesome greed,
I will not be like her,
Like the mother I loathe,
No curiosity would hurt a girl like me,
It would turn me to depression,
Which would put me to death,
So you see,
I wish to be free,
Free of everyone,
But myself,
And my greed.


Details | I do not know? | |

2 Years

2 Years 

It’s been two years now daddy
Since you left me here alone
I still lie awake and wonder
If you’ll ever come back home

Then I remember that you can’t make it
For different reasons than I wish
The next time I see you dear father
Will be when I come home to you

I still miss you more than ever
I never thought I’d make it this long
Without you guiding me and encouraging me
With everything I do
You have never judged me for anything
No matter what I have done

You have always been my hero dad
For that I regret never saying
I am thankful for the time we had
But am greedy for the time we don’t

I will never get over losing you
I will always wonder why
I will always lie awake and cry
And wonder often times why you had to die

I have asked God why he took you
Why didn’t he take me instead?
I always felt like he slipped up
And got the wrong one instead

I know there is a reason
You left me way too early
I do not think I will ever get it though
Nor, will I ever accept it

There are so many things 
I don’t understand
When I look at your picture
By my bedroom wall
You give me the answers
And the strength
To withstand it all

I love you daddy, and I miss you every day. We will meet again and you can hold me like
you always did when I was little. Only this time I will not wither out of your arms. 

Happy Birthday Dad!

R.I.P.   Larry Wagoner 12/19/1956 – 12/19/2006


Details | I do not know? | |

Worth So Much More

So stressful.
This life is so hard.
Things don't get easier.
I can't stand to dwell on things that never change.

Him walking away...
Doesn't feel that great.
But hating him doesn't feel much better.
I don't know how to handle it.
Its too hard to accept being abandoned.

A senior in high school..
And the only family I have is myself.
Family is just a word...
Because I have none.

Walk away from pain,
I understand that.
Walk away from family,
I'll never get it.
Your own child,
And I mean nothing to you.

Don't come visit,
Not even a phone call,
How can I call you my father at all?

I always thought I was worth so much more,
Until I watched you walk out that door,
Only to find, you wouldn't be coming back.

You should understand,
Your father did the same.
You must have learned by example.

The pain you just installed in me,
Is something I'll never forget.
I can cry all I want,
But you will never hear it.
Screaming inside, I need to let it all out,
with this pen to this paper,
I'll show you what I'm about.

I'm over the fact that you can't be there for me,
You not calling is too much,
I can't ask any more of you.
I feel betrayed.
Lost.
Broken.

Is this all you wanted?
Because you have done all this to me.
This pain may fade, but my memory will stay.
An absent father to a 17 year old girl.
A lasting, painful memory,
How does it make you feel?


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Name Is Misery

Your name is misery
here to haunt me in my dreams
In my waking hours and in my sleep
Nightmares and worst fears 
of course you can make them come true
For

Your Name Is Misery

You are the demon 
That called himself a dad
You are my illness, my shame, guilt and pain
I cannot shake you 
I try to run but you always catch me
I try to hide and you find me

Your Name Is Misery

You are the cause of my pain
I used to blame myself 
But lately I have found I am not the one to blame
I was a child
Innocent and helpless
when you took my dignity, my life my sanity

Your Name Is Misery

You have presented yourself in many forms
The school counselor who tried to violate me
The Father figure who molested me
The strangers who forced themselves on me
A gang paid to rape me
A Fiance who beat me 
And killed the child inside me
The voices that torment me

Your Name Is Misery

You have so many faces 
It would take my whole life to paint a picture of you
And quite frankly 
I don't want to waste my time on you
I just want to forget you

Your Name Is Misery

I wish I could get away from you
Break away from your grasp
Take away the control you have over me
I hate being under your spell
I hate the pain you constantly cause me 
I hate crying because of you
I hate the darkness you bring with you
Most of all 
I hate you

Your Name is Misery

That is no lie
There is no mistake 
You bring havoc, drama, and chaos 
All the things I despise 
I don't want you near me
I don't even want to look you in the eye

Your Name is Misery 

I am afraid of you 
I can't stand you 
most of all 
I am mad at you 
for you have made my life a living hell
But no more 
I am cutting you out 
I have never wanted you around
It is high time 
I got rid of you 
It's time to stand my ground
I am going to take you down
I don't need you
I never want to see you 
Get out of my life 
For I am not going to let you bring me down
You are not welcome here 

Your Name Is Misery

By: Jean Shular


Details | Rhyme | |

Father

Why does he even bother calling,
When he doesn’t care?
Why doesn’t he give child support?
It just isn’t fair.

He keeps giving the same excuses,
Because he’s just too lazy.
The truth is, he doesn’t want a job,
His neglect just drives me crazy.

He’s told me he loves me,
But he’s never shown it.
His actions never proved those words,
I guess I should’ve known it.

When I was a child,
I thought he loved me dearly.
But now that I am all grown up,
I see things very clearly.

He doesn’t deserve the title “father,”
“Mario,” will do just fine.
Because he was never a true dad to me,
But that’s okay…I’ve got “Carmine.”


Details | Rhyme | |

that single moment

a single moment when you know your life is turning bright,
a single moment when you look at your new born child and know everythings going to be alright
....
a flash back appers going all threw your head, how that one amazing moment the day you got legaly wead, to the love of your life and you know that you are his one and only wife,
to that day yes that day you had created life,
that one single moment a single tear falls down your cheak,
looking at your new born child geting excited like a freak.
....
That one moment you start to pray that you wish he could of been there,
that one amazing moment he had made a child that is so beautiful and rare.
That one spicial moment you know when your child turns seven,
that one sad moment you have to tell your child your fathers is in heaven
...
that moment laying in the hopsital with a new born at your side.
that moment when you start to tear up and cry because you know you really miss the love of your life.---Larissa summitt



Details | I do not know? | |

Slaughter

My tears flood me, my mind boggles, and my fears are real.
I see blood gushing, her head severed, death unveiled.
Fear of my life, fear in my mind, I was three.
He lift his hand, machete clutched tight, it was daddy.
A quick swoosh, dead silence, mommy froze.
Her body fluttered, her blood spurted out, she groaned.
He looked at me, spotted with blood, his eyes gloat.
Dropped the machete; picked up his gun; pointed to his throat.
A loud bang, I jumped, he fell.
I now realize both my parents are dead.


Details | Senryu | |

That September Day in 2001

Two thousand seven Hundred and fifty victims Murdered, Rest in Peace My entry into Nathan's 9-11 contest http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/america.php


Details | Blank verse | |

But You Didn't

I thought you’d want to play with me, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d let me sit on your knees and read the comics with you, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to color with me, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to take a walk, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d hug me when I was scared, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to go fishing, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to ride bikes, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to play ball, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to help me pick the new puppy out, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to catch fireflies with me, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to watch T.V. with me, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to play checkers with me, so I asked But you didn’t I got older, and I thought you’d want to attend my wedding, so I asked But you didn’t You thought I knew you loved me, so you asked me to come home from Iraq safely But I didn’t


Details | Concrete | |

Daddy

Daddy, why did you hurt me so very long ago?
I still remember the day you wouldn't let me go
I know it happened more than once, but it is done
When you tried it again, I wasn't old enough to run
The hurt goes on Daddy, through all the years of my life
You don't know how hard it is sometimes to be alive!
Just looking at father's day cards brings me tears
And Mommy does she know what you did
How do you find a card that isn't full of glory?
To send to someone who never said he was sorry
Daddy, you don't know the pain you,ve made in me
When you raped me that day, I was no longer free
Free to be a child- to be like other girls and boys
I'll never be the same as I was that day,
the day you took my virginity away
I'll never understand why you did that to me
I was "Daddy's little girl" don't you see?
I never dreamed that you could hurt me so
I thought you loved me, didn't you know
many years have come and gone so fast
I know I'm not supposed to be living in the past
but daddy, the hurt you caused me will never be past
not until the breath in me is the last
I guess God really wanted me to do his will
Daddy, please daddy,
you never said you're sorry for the crime you did!
I'll try to go on, a survivor I'll be;
by giving my love to my children 
warning them protecting them and their children
teaching them where it is wrong to be touched
even by someone you love so very much
why did you hurt me so? did you have it planned?
or was it something done to you in your past
that triggered your feelings for me at the last
daddy, I hope one day that you see how much you hurt me
and then say, please forgive me
but until that day, I guess I'll go on_ _ _
writing things like this one after one
hoping a little comfort I'll give someone hurting
just really trying to live
someone trying to heal the hurt, Like Me


Details | Free verse | |

Deceased

Middle of the night
All that is heard
Is yelling & screaming
A voice says,
"...No!...
...Why?!...
...Stop!...
...Don't do that!..."
Then nothing
Walk into the room
Nothing to see
Pitch black
One click of the light switch
All is revealed
Empty liquor bottles
Broken glass
Pills
Knife on the floor
Blood splattered all over the walls
With writing on it that reads,
"See what you made me do?"
Look on the floor
A dead body holding a gun
Look on the ceiling
A dead body hanging
What a nightmare
But a wish come true
Both parents
Dead


Details | Bio | |

A Second Chance

Life is like a circle that really is true,
For here I am sitting talking to you.
If anyone had told me that ten years ago,
I would've laughed in their faces and retorted no!
Bitterness and anger can cause your demise,
Which to the trained mind is no surprise.
You've been an absentee father I don't know why,
I guess a lifetime has passed you by.
Were we the missing pieces in your puzzle of life? 
Gone are those hurtful words that would cut like a knife.
Don't you think it's rather strange,
That a diagnosis of cancer brought about this drastic change?
Were you alone and adrift at sea?
I guess in times of crisis you do need your family.
The road to redemption is never straight,
There are many obstacles before those pearly gates.
I have learnt so many lessons in this period of time,
That to harbor ill will may be deemed a crime.
As for me, I scoffed at the idea of forgive and forget,
But now I've done it without regret.


Details | Bio | |

my sister

My sister is one of a kind and I know shes always by my side I know we fight.

and sometime dont get along my sister and I are like a song.

The bond between us will never break she's my best friend 
.
and it will never change I love my sister


Details | Free verse | |

Mom and Dad

I remember the days,
When my mom and dad were superheroes
Everyday, they’d save my world
But now I hear things about them
Things I don’t want to accept as true
But the words won’t leave my system
I remember I asked someone one day
“If I find out about everything, will I end up hating them?”
I looked into their eyes as they said,
“Yes, you will.”
Ever since, I ignore all talk about mom and dad
And I don’t want the day of hating them to come any time soon.


Details | Epic | |

6/30/06

As I sit on the kitchen counter, I 
eat my cereal. Savoring every crunch
I watch the phone and wait for it to ring
waiting for someone to call, even a perfect
stranger. Even a perfect stranger. Trust someone
to talk to. Someone to share what's going wrong. My
heart beats with pain. The blood runs cold but hot with 
anger. I wish to scream at the top of my lungs and release 
the agony, But must stay quite as a mouse. I keep to myself.
My hopes that are false and my dreams that will never come true.
I'm lost in my own mind and train of thoughts filled with worries that
can never be told and cries that can never be heard. Smiles are shown
but never true. Every promise is made is another broken wish. Every word
you say is nothing but stalling pain. Sadness is the most feeling felt. It wears
like a sweater on a hot summer day. You just want to rip it off and throw it on 
the ground. I must question everything more now than ever. I sit in a white chair
in a white room. I love this room. It reminds me of purity, a free soul. Anything you
dream can come true. If you dream hard enough and wish upon the right star. I walk
around the rest of this seven room house and I am reminded back to reality of cries and
lies, the tears and the fears. Back into a world of having to win. When smiles are rare to see
and I love yous are no longer from the heart. Gazing out the window, I have come to known 
that this world is made up of men who want sex and money, women that dance in videos to 
make a dime. Young boys hustling and ladies walking the corners. Church crowds have gotten 
smaller and cults have grown. I look back in the mirror reflect. Recently I've made bad 
decisions that just aren't me. I remise about the past and realize that it's time to let 
go. That it's my path and I'm on my own. A struggle it will be, but a blade where
I can not depend. Sorry to my sharp little friend but I hope we never have to
meet again


Details | Bio | |

Our little boys

Look at our three little boys all grown up. You'd be so proud of the men they are today. They think of you often and what'd you say to them today. I wish you could have been here to see them grow into the men they are today. Their no longer the little boys who use to need us to need us to make their bumps and bruices go away. Their now the strong men that have their own family's. You gave me three angels from above but, you were taken from us to soon. I know your always watching after them from above. Even tho their all grown up they'll always be our three little boys.


Details | I do not know? | |

A long line of scallywags

I love my son he's always chipper
he's my scallywag and I'm the skipper
and the apple does'nt fall far from the tree
he's menatly challenged just like me!

and even though his dad's a zero
"hey dad your my hero!"
having fun is all he's wishing
"hey dad ya wanna go fishin?"

lost the house a home we have not
"hey dad looky what I caught!"
no business financal ruin we sank
"aww dad you can have my piggy bank"

rich kids need toys to have fun
"love you dad!" "love you son!"
think no toys would make him sad?
such a good boy "your the best dad!"

now I know I won't always live forever
"hey dad we always be together?"
"no worries son just stay chipper
you'll have your own scallywag and you'll be the skipper!"

by Captain Mike Harris and his son


Details | ABC | |

My Little Angel

I Losed A Huge Part Of Me Thee Other Day, Heard The Heartbeat, He Said Everthing Was Okay, As We Waited There, Time Began To Pass, I Was Getting Scared, He Walked In The Room, And The Words So Insercer Entered My Mind, Just One Word, And The Whole Room Went black, People Stared Like What Were You expespting, My Baby With His Arms Around Me, I Felt A Tear Roll Down My Cheek, And I Didnt Care Who Saw, All I Knew Was A Huge Part Of Me Wasnt there, Emptyness, Felt So Lonely, But Everyone Was There, Mommys and Daddys Little Angel Was No Longer There:"( So Heartbreaking: But True... R.I.P Jamie Mom And Dad Will Keep You In Our Prayers


Details | I do not know? | |

Because Of You

Father why
It's hard for me to trust him
Because of what you did
Because of your sin

It's constantly on my mind
What else is he doing at work
Because of you
I think and act like a jerk

I love him more then anything
But because of you
I can't help but think of him cheating
I have to trust him, but it's hard to do
Because of you


Details | Rhyme | |

Setting up House

I met a woman, fell in love
She was a gift from above
Soon she became my spouse
We gathered things and set up house.

Some things were new without a flaw
Some were hand me downs from Ma and Paw
For some we saved nickels in a can
Some were bought on the installment plan.

Children came – a total of four
Two boys – two girls- no need for more
We managed to provide room and board
Did the best we could afford.

We moved around from house to house
On an adventure – me and my spouse
Gathering things to which we would cling
But we rarely got rid of anything.

Tables, chairs, couches, and beds
Cabinets and shelves taller than our heads
Mugs, pictures, and bells we did collect
Mementoes and heirlooms on which to reflect.

A man gathers a lot in over fifty years
And remembers many of them with tears
Many a thing still fills my house
But it’s not a home without my spouse.

She has a room in a retirement home
Care is provided and she cannot roam
I dreamed one day we would be old timers
But I never figured on Alzheimer’s.

Now I have a house full of stuff
Too many things - more than enough
The time has come to downsize
To an apartment in the high rise.

My children came one by one
Went through my stuff until they were done
One takes this and another takes that
And managed to do so without a spat.

Giving things away is a lonely task
My irritability I cannot mask
Gathering things with my spouse
Was more fun than cleaning out house.



Details | Free verse | |

They Fight,,, 10-13-08

they fight all the time.
they fight and it never stops.
they fight and it never gets better.
they fight and it always gets worse.
they fight til they're blue in the face.
they fight til i can't stand it anymore.
they fight and i cry cuz there's nothing i can do.
the fighting and the crying never stop.
there's nothing i can do but pray.
they're always fighting.
it won't stop.
they hide it so well...
the pain they're in...
it's like they've never fought before...


Details | Free verse | |

Your Only Gift

I hate you dad.
I lied when I said I didn't. 
I lied when I said I was ok.
I thought that I could keep it together,
But my strength wavers.
I tried to be the bigger person,
But I am just a child.
All the scars,
I have to bear,
Weigh heavy.
I watch other little girls with their fathers,
And I envy them. 
They don't know how lucky they are.
All I wanted was your love.
But you gave me nothing but pain.


Details | I do not know? | |

Every night

Every night
A scared little girl cries herself to sleep
With nothing of her own to keep

Every night
She prayed to God
Hoping he wont come home tonight

Every night
Is another bruise
As she bites her lip, trying not to cry
Because she knows if he see’s one tear
She would be even closer to dieing

Every night 
As tears run down her face
She knows this abuse will go on and on
And never stop

Every nigh
When she tried to tell someone
They never believed her
Because he doesn’t look like “that type of guy”

Every night
She would pray to God
Hoping he wont come home tonight


Details | Blank verse | |

A Walk With An Enemy

Tears trickle down her cheeks,
 She turns her head so the man they call her Dad
Cant see her cry.
 Was it always like this?
Did it slowly develop?
 Why cant it be different?
Again, nothing was accomplished;
 Nothing had changed.
She drives home
 Tears blurring her view,
Wishing with all her heart
 That things were better.


Details | I do not know? | |

Letters Of The Heart

Dear Claire,
I Miss you and need you. I can't wait much longer.
Its getting cold and dark. I'll come back tomorrow.
To stand by our tree. So we can run away and be free.
Yours Always,
Eric


Dear Eric,
I miss you so much. But my father is a riot.
Wont let me go no were. He's locked me in my room.   
But I'll escape. I'll come see you. So wait for me.
Yours Truly,
Claire


My Lovely Clarie,
I'll Wait! If it takes forever, I will wait!
And we will never have to part again!
You are my love. For now and For ever.
Yours Always,
Eric

The day passed and Eric waited. 
But there was no sign of Claire.
Eric bowed his head and slouched down.
"She said she would make it. 
Whats keeping her so long?"

Just then a voice broke out.
"Eric!"
Eric lifted his head and saw his Love.
He ran to her with arms open wide.

He caught her in an embrace
And she held on to him As if to dear life.


"You must leave." She whispered in his ear.
He looked at her puzzled.
"My father isn't far behind.
If you won't leave, He'll shoot you down."

Claire's tears slide down her face
Begging him to go.
Eric smiled painfully 
knowing it would only hurt her if he stayed

"I love you Claire. I always will.
From now to Forever.
Don't forget me. 
I Love you Claire."

3 MONTHS LATER

Dear Claire,
I heard your married now. I'm happy that you found love again.
I haven't forgot you. And I never will.
Congratulations and farewell.
Yours Always,
Eric

20 YEARS LATER

Eric walks outside and sees a girl
She smiled at him and waved.
Claire. She looked so young and pretty.
Like she always did.

"Hello Mr. Eric.
My name is Maya. You knew my mother Claire.
I came to tell you thank you." 
And she handed him a box.

The letters that he wrote and copies of her own
Tears filled his eyes.
As Maya went on by.
After 20 Years he finally got an answer.

After 20 years he finally got that Letter.


Details | Ballad | |

A Travelers Tale

It’s been so long
Since I’ve been home
Many a year
I’ve been on the roam
As the years turned to days
Days turned to years
Time is an hourglass
Showing ones deepest fears
As I sit here
In this barroom 
Smoking a cigarette
Leave I must soon
Following that, I must check out
Of the mediocre hotel room
Though my mind clearly sees
Visions of joy from the past
This hotel bill
Will surely by the last
Always ladies
Night keep me warm
Even through the most
Furious storms
Make my way
Home once at last
Not yet young son
This old man’s not done
Please don’t leave this bar
For this story hasn’t ended
Oh no thus far
All my life I have desired
Some sort of reckoning
For my sins
Now I’ve finally realized
I must go see my kin
And a new life I may
Finally begin
But son please listen
Realize you shall
As you grow old
Happiness not be bought
With any amount of gold
Happiness lies
Within your very heart
You alone
Hopefully shall start
Having your very own dreams
Even though they may seem
Unachievable, son
 You’ve just got to believe
For without dreams of your own
You shall bitterly become
Full of hatred and greed
Dreams are not money
They are actions you make
Dreams do not happen
When you are asleep
They come to you
When you’re beginning on your feet
But you must be careful
For come people are amused by
Actions of deceit
For one who uses trickery
Are not as lucky as you
They are to ashamed of themselves
And their life is hell
They are weak
You are strong
Envy they of you
And in society they just don’t belong
Don’t think I have sided
With the pitiful and weak
On their behalf
I only speak
Oh, son, I have seen
More than any old king
I’m even friends
With Mr. BB king
But never have I
Been so satisfied
Than when I told this story
And you looked me in the eye
Not many have been
All the places I’ve seen
This all was my very
Very first dream
I must be going now
But before I do
Bartender, 2 shots of José
We must make a mighty salute
For on your future young son
We must drink


Details | Lyric | |

We Walk Amongst The Faithful

We walk amongst the faithful. Unknown to human eyes. So normal and so human, They can't see through our disguise. The tears of angels made us As they flew down from the sky. They didn't want to do it, So all they did was cry. We're stuck amongst the ruin. The horror and despair. We've seen a bit too closely To the heart of Evil's lair. We walk amongst the faithful. Unknown to human eyes. So normal and so human, They can't see through our disguise. We're scarred up on the inside, But outside we're just fine. We hide the truth so well They can't see into our lies. Our daddies were all drinkers. And when they would get mad, They'd take it out us poor souls, And boy were we so glad When Daddy drank himself to sleep, And we could go and hide. Carve another scar into our heart Which was hidden deep inside. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so human They can't see through our disguise. Our mommies all liked men Perhaps a bit too much They sampled fair and far And didn't mind the touch. When Mommy fell asleep, Her boyfriends would come down And they would scare us half to death And they'd start to mess around. And after they were done Ravaging our broken souls We'd take our chance to run And hide from things we'd never know. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so human They can't see through our disguise. Our families are all broken We have no place to hide No place to let our tears out Let out what hurts inside. And now we sit here all alone In this dark corner as all hope Evades our longing hands We've lost our way to cope. And now we hide our feelings And what they've done to every “me”. We hold our chins up high. We do not let them see. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so humans Can't see through our disguise We pretend it doesn't happen We can't let anyone know Our traitor of a heart Is something we can't show. Would anyone even understand What we hold inside our hearts? Or would we be a freak show A different world apart? Maybe one day we will find one Every single one of us Someone who will understand Someone we can trust.


Details | Free verse | |

DECASTICH-THE WISEST ONE

Seeing others doing harmful things,
excessively drinking and using hard drugs,
I say this road is the wisest one
a very prudent individual could ever take, 
hoping that nobody will lay flowers 
on that spot, where a horrible crash may occur.
Perhaps I've been too cautious...
when it comes to save what I hold most precious,
not afflicting useless pain on my body;
only praying to God to safeguard me. 


This afternoon, I visited my niece Crystal in Elmurst Hospital,
as she and her four friends were involved in a bad accident;
the driver, who had a legal alchool level in her blood, crashed 
into a light pole last Sunday morning; were they all drinking?
That's a mere speculation, but this kind of behavior is common
among teenagers; Asia, the driver of the car, is into a coma slowing improving. 
Crystal has a broken leg and fractured pelvis, begging nurses for help; 
and she is in acute pain and can hardly breath. Elisabeth is on a respirator...
due to a blood clot traveling to her lungs; the other two girls have minor injuries.


What does it take for irresponsible drivers not to be under the influence....
avoiding the mourning of a dear one, or even losing their own life?
Not many folks will heed this message...until they face death,
and nothing can be done to prevent them from diying.
Trongs of visitors crowd the hall, to inquire about their condition;
they hear their agony and are unable to help...ah, if they ever could!
So will you take that path which is the wisest one to avoid a possible tragedy,
or continue defying fate until its awfully late to enjoy a full life?
Their parents are as helpeless as I, but our faith makes hope grow...
that these kids will finally understand that a second chance is not given to all.



This horrible accident happened in Woodhaven, Queens, NY on August 15, 2010.


Details | Lyric | |

never forget 9-11

On that day we were all the same, we didn't know there faces, we didn't know 
there names.
There voices we heard crying all around the world, someones loving father, 
someones little girl.
On that day we were called to lead a better life, for that someones father, for that 
someones wife.
The list of souls read from above before it came below why it was and why it is the 
answer no one knows.
Through the pain we have learned lessons great and small, life, love, and happiness 
are precious cherish them all.
With grace we all go on, but never will we forget that all of these beautiful things 
can fade so very quick.
On that day we wondered, on that day we cryed, on that day we asked ourselves 
what kind of man am I?
Mothers held there children for so long and oh so tight, why did these people have 
to go this was not there fight.
We hope and pray for all those names, and the ones they left behind they gave 
their life for a question the answer we must find.

William J. Harty


Details | I do not know? | |

'Cause I've Missed You

A decade just passed
It's time i must confess
That this long absence of yours
Is making me drown in blues

Everytime i close my eyes
I swear i'm telling no lies
I see your face in front of me
As i try to touch, you disappear quickly

I think 'cause i've missed you so much
And maybe with only one touch
I can regain the feeling of you being here
As the old times drying all of my tears

Would you come back again?
And take away all of my pain
The pain you gave to me that day
When you rode the clouds and went away.


Details | Free verse | |

Lucky Me

They always used to say “You’re so lucky”
If only they knew the truth
What happens behind closed doors
The kids who think I’m weird
I shouldn’t be so upset
My life is perfect
One sibling, two dogs, parents who are still together
Lucky me
Walking on eggshells
Trying not to give him a reason to notice me
Lucky me
Hiding the bruises
Always so hard to sit down
Lucky me
Trying to live up to impossible standards
Trying not to let him see me cry,
To see me weaken
Feeling his hand across my face
The sting of the slap lingering for hours it seems
Lucky me
Having to claim this man as my father
The one who should love me the most
All I want is for him to say he’s proud
Well I can’t try any harder
Why doesn’t he love me?
Why am I his personal punching bag?
I just can’t take it any longer
The thoughts of suicide pulling me in
More inviting every day
Like a warm blanket engulfing me
They always say “lucky you”
Yeah. Lucky me.


Details | Free verse | |

My Father

I hear his voice

Grown old with my absence;

His powerful presence pale

And querulous no more.

Sad and searching words

Now come from his throat

Where the crescent scar, once madly red,

Lies faded like a wan, winter moon.

His frailty frightens me;

His rage more easily defended

Than this unfamiliar exigency.

My armor has no resistance

Against warm, melted anger

Colored with guilt.


Details | Free verse | |

no news

the post man said "no mail today"
my heart broke it two...
again today
I thought I was going to die right there
another day,
with no news of survival
how do i manage to let my life go on
when his has  gone and passed away
my mind tells me he's out there some where
but no news from him
no letters
no card
not even two men dressed in suits
My mind wonders
as I try and distract myself
the news comes on
and I watch ever second
hopeing to see your face
just walk by
but as soon as I heard your voice
I knew
I didn't need news
I didn't need a letter or card
because there is no you
well at least not anymore


Details | Couplet | |

If I could say it now contest

The day you abruptly went away,
My heart became frozen and my soul grew shades of gray,
My little eyes watched as your cadillac pulled out,
After listening to all those screams and foolish shouts,
The driveway was vacant, the house became dark,
I knew at that moment we would never again go to the park,
When I got home from school you would not be there,
I prayed to God that you would still some how care,
No one explained to me at seven years old,
That I would have to watch so much unfold,
Depression set inside that vacant place,
I no longer had that bright smile on my face,
The tire swing we built together fell apart late that June,
I would now have to learn way too soon,
How to fend for myself and take your place,
I had to fill your empty space,
I tried so hard to be like you,
Even built a tree house in honor of you,
I learned how to fix things around the house,
I even protected mom once from a mouse,
But no matter what I did,
It did not make up for me not allowed to be a kid,
Other kids got to see their dads, even when their parents got divorced,
But that wasn’t the case for me of course,
All I did was think of you, my first love had been devastatingly untrue,
The events that happened after can’t be written in just one poem,
Only God could possible have the right size thread to have sown
The chunks that life took out of me,
All because my daddy never came back to be
What every little girl desires
The protector, provider, the one who inspires
All grown up and it is now bitter sweet
For now I help other little girls whose dads caused them to have years of defeat
 One day when I have my own
I will be able to set the right tone
I will be able to feed my inner child
Embrace her and enjoy what you so freely defiled
We either repeat are parent’s mistakes or do whatever we can to prevent
That generational cycle from becoming like cement
Braking it now and forgiving you
Was the best thing I could ever do
For I harbor no resentment and I have no anger
I just know that not having a father put me in a lot of danger
But I am blessed to have had my heavenly dad
He was the one who was there when I was sad
He was the one who protected me from strife,
The one who taught me how to reverse my life,
I can live free because now I see,
 what you did in the end, hurt you more than it did me.

By: Sabina Nicole
Written 9/6/11


Details | I do not know? | |

Blessing from Heaven on a Bittersweet day

The dress is zipped, the veil is in
One last touch up and dry my tears
Another bobby pin
I need you here to calm my fears

But here I stand feeling all alone
Looking up at heaven
Wishing I could bring you home
Waiting for the clock to strike seven

Here comes grandpa to take you place
He happily stands by my side
But I know he sees the hurt on my face
He tells me I’m such a beautiful bride

What a bitter sweet day
Now I’m ready to go
I take a moment and pray
Just to say “Hello”

Now down the aisle I walk
I see Joel’s face
Walking into wedlock
I feel such a warming embrace

Now I know though I didn’t that day
You weren’t missing a thing
That I’m confident enough to say
I believe this was a heaven sent blessing

For when I was looking later
In one certain photo
There is was, it couldn’t be clearer
A cross with such a beautiful glow

Then I knew I wasn’t alone
My prayer had been answered
And you came back home


Details | I do not know? | |

Me

Been through a lot these seventeen years of living,
Growing up with abuse in my home,
Wanting to leave and flee,
But afraid I was going to leave and be on my own,
Wishing someone would rescue me and my family from the hurt,
The hurt we faced many times seeing the one you love the most being abused,
Abused many days and many nights,
Wondering why,
The answer was because he was the only one in charge,
Almost Seven and these things were still happening,
Wow wonder why they happened to my life,
Don't know why God let me see the hurt,
Did he know I would face the hurt forever?
My family finally had a chance to get away from the hurt and the abuse,
We found a house and much more,
We were a happy family,
A family that will one day be the best of the best,
Thank you jesus for letting us go through the hurt to get a better life that we deserve!


Details | Rhyme | |

Our Light

As we gather, this cold night
We know our life, has lost its light
Our Father, now has gone away
Never more, will he say

"I love you.", "son", or "sissy"
"Before you leave, give me a kissy."
God, we miss his hugs
His long answers, never shrugs

To watch him, with the kids
He'd always make them, flip their lids
He would make them, clean their house
Or, be as quiet, as a mouse

It was all, just for their good
Though still small, they understood
He did every thing, with thought
His life's wisdom, dearly bought

He taught us how, to succeed at life
To battle through, both pain and strife
But little, he complained
As a policeman, he was trained

A cop, who had no fear
Chosen, Policeman of the Year
For an arrest, he made one night
The details, gave us fright

He said, "It's just my job"
But, his arrest, brought down the mob
A small act, by a good cop
Knocked Raymond P., Right from the top

Always humble, he did not keep
All the glory, they tried to heap
They praised him high, then dragged him low
It did not change, the man we know

At his work, he was the stone
Ever rolling, and alone
There he gathered, no new moss
He dealt with drama, pain, and loss

At home with us, a new man
Though like always, he had a plan
To build, to rake, to clean, to paint
His color choices, made Mom faint

Working daily, he'd say to thee
"Once we're done, we'll drink Iced Tea."
And though, we never got those draughts
Still we had, a million laughs

So he worked us, what's his crime
He also, gave us, lots of time
With himself, and with our Mom
I ask you now, what's the harm

Just as always, he's gone before
Cancer rushed him, out our door
Leaving grand-children, kids, and wife
The soul purpose, of his life

Although here, we all must stay
We miss and love him, more each day
Yes, he gone, he's left our sight
But remember, within us, shines his light

If, you think of him, by day
Think, love, and work, and play
When, you think of him, by night
His star shines, twice as bright


Details | Rhyme | |

Complete Man

Prolog:   This poem is about how much you need to struggle to ‘survive’ as an accountable and matured man. Child demands what he desires and the man sacrifices his desire, to fulfill the child’s.  It’s funny how you would be made a king for a day, and then a ‘somebody’, or even a ‘nobody’? Moreover, as you grow up, linearly, the problems breed exponentially like bacteria. Yes, it is true that the assimilative power to bear the offsets increase as you grow up too and how we breathe with the mere hope that one’s integrity pays back at some point in life. These verses symbolize the seldom hidden pain as adolescents in antithesis to the trouble-free life of a kid. Being a four year old playing with crayons, it’s all about you and your own little world!  
 
The journey is tough, the journey is loathed,
The journey is necessary, the journey is promising
 
From learning to put on the bow-tie,
To responsibly having the handkerchief in your pocket,
From experiencing the toughest times
And still standing upright like a ship in a storm
Like never before,
Manhood, here comes, like a raging warrior,
Resilient in form, stronger than its former,
And kills your innocence; darkens your heart.
 
The journey is tough, the journey is loathed,
The journey is necessary, the journey is promising
 
Life slips by ‘unlived’ and under cut-throat competition
Little merry-time, patchy hangovers and a far-fetched ambition
In trying to enrich and reclassify his social status
Life is yet adventurous, travelling rough miles
Reshaping himself, constantly adopting new lifestyles,
Every so often, he needs a little time, damn-it
In the end, faith grows numb in breaking the habit
It’s flabbergasting dad, how you stood up on your feet
Such burden of liability on the shoulders, how can one keep?
 
Politics was detested, conspiracy unheard of.
But now only has become an essential strategy for survival
Pain only makes him stronger,
Thanks Kelly Clarkson; that makes our belief finer
And brings a hope of fresh revival
How true Darwin sayeth!
Fittest subsists, and the rest are extinct species.
However, gratitude to such reformation
The inception of adulthood, cognizance!
Teaches him to be & believe himself; thus push his limits farther
Only critical moments, binds his relationships sturdier
 
The journey is tough, the journey is loathed,
The journey is necessary, the journey is promising.
 
 
Inspired by : friends, fam, eminem, linkin park, my fellow poets, my world


Details | Free verse | |

Father

My narrow spine draws up
like a creaking cold floor
cornering confines, facing vacancy
While my father is as a sharp rain that
pounds down on my skin, grey tin
a shed to my life and its
sticky alcoholic stew
like a Jew, cemented sorrow 
and in my shoe, a dead furnace
 
It's better to be alive
but this reality's hard to wake up to
If my mouth was blue
and wore blood's debut
I 
could be 
viewed
at least this day
before I cut my father's heart
in two.
 
But his tears reach me
even near my torrential eyes
and they burn clean like
acidic water's guise, my lies
fall away like flies
I have nowhere to hide
and I've certainly tried
I can only blink back
without excuse and cry
 
My father loves me fiercely, dearly
and clearly, my disease holds no hostage
he washes my toxic heart with cool hands
not an eye for the grime, but for me,
a child, marred by fire,
his very object of caution
but he makes me a wound
set to heal, so I kneel
awake in a wake
my father's grace.


Details | Acrostic | |

A Long Lonely Year

Afghanistan. far away from those I love.

Leaving was tough this time, the kids tears tore at my heart.
Only as I turned to watch them drive away, did I see my wife crying
Never has she cried, always pretending to be strong
Going away for the fourth time must have been too much for her to bear.

Letting myself believe, I will make it through this fourth combat tour.
One year seems like a lifetime, the minutes ticking slowly by.
Never letting tears of sadness get the better of me.
Everyday, I think about my wife and our four kids. Are they ok?
Lost is how I feel.  Something is missing, I can barely breathe.
Yet this is what must be done, I took an oath. I made a promise.

Yearning every second, for my wife's kisses, and my childrens hugs.
Every hour of the day I pull out their picture, to see their smiles. 
Always in my dreams, my family is there for me. Never losing faith.
Reunited we shall be, after a long lonely year.


Details | Rhyme | |

Aborted Babies


Aborted Babies…

Innocent life is being murdered each day.
While our courts say that it’s legal and “o.k.”

Women getting pregnant and maybe don’t understand.
The tragedy that’s happening all over this land!

Is this really something that many people have willed?
To have the unborn to be 
“torn apart and killed?”

Many are told abortion is the “best thing to do.”
But not knowing who else to turn to.

Government pretends to have an answer for this.
But it’s just turning into one huge mess!

Read the Bible and you will come to know.
The God who created you… 
Loves you so!

Jesus knew you in the womb!  
Your hair color and name!
He saw your body when out of your
 mother you came!

He saw your little heart the first time it beat!
And saw your mother the first time
 she tickled your feet!

There is never one unwanted person on God’s list!
You are precious to him…  
And are never missed!

He knows each life and every heart that’s beating!
And brings purpose, love and
 a TRUE meaning!

BY Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

To My Girls

Where have you been, little ones?  Stolen away so long ago.
An aching heart and lonely life for an evil man today,
searching the horizon and begging God for signs of your return.
Will they ever come?  Should I go to them?  What will our future be?
What did you do today?  Did you think of me as I thought of you?
When I look at the sad moon before I sleep and wonder.
Do you see the same sights I see? 
Are you OK?
The questions and sadness flows and never ends. Why?
For many years I've blamed God.
Are you angry at Him? 
I hope not.  He's not the one who should be blamed, but I.
Sundays are the worst ones for me to bear.  Even today, years after you were taken 
from me, I cry.
I'm crying now.  Sunday family fun day no more.  Just me.
I miss my girls and care about you.  It's OK if you don't care about me.
I ask for nothing but your smiles and a hug, that would last an eternity.
You haven't seen or heard from me, I feared the trouble it would cause.
But, in your day, if you think of me, know that I think of you and cry to be near.
Just a hug and a tear, together.  With a laugh and forgiveness to spare, healing the 
past for us, today.
How are you doing?  Where have you been?  What tears have you cried without me to 
make them go away?
If you need me.  If you need me to come.  If you need me to help.  If you need me to 
pray.  If you need me to just go away.  It's ok.  I am here.
I Love You.

Daddy


Details | Rhyme | |

Hush Baby

Sh, sh, close your eyes,
silent night broken by your painful cries.
Your heart is broken, I can tell;
it's okay, for mine is as well.
Don't ever wonder why or how,
just know mommy's with the angel's now.
The blood is nothing, mommy just fell,
there's something years from now I have to tell.
Mommy doesn't want you to be sad,
she'd want you happy, so please be glad.
She was a wonderful person, I'm sure you kow,
twenty is much too young to go.
You're also to young, only five,
I'm glad that at least you're alive.
C'mon baby, daddy's here,
we're all alone now, I fear.


Details | I do not know? | |

Us - Minus One

Today the strangers didn't come
In fact, no one did
The house was empty
And far too quiet
With just the ghosts of our past
Floating silently on the wind
as our only companions

I miss you dad.


Details | I do not know? | |

Last December

Last December I called you.
You, who I haven’t heard from 
 in over twenty years.

You, who hasn’t thought to call. 
Does that mean that you didn’t think of me? 
Me, your only daughter.

Last December three days after Christmas I saw you.
You looked so old, the years that had passed were evident on your face. 
The lines around your eyes made you look so sad.

Last December I hugged you. 
You hugged me back.
As I held onto you I felt like a child again and felt safe.
I trusted your embrace. 

Last December I told you that I loved you. 
You said it too. 

I had never heard you utter those words before. 
(Did you mean it?) 

Last December I was happy.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

I GOT THAT FEELING

I got that feeling you are not love me anymore
Your kisses are as hot and cold as before
Where the reflection of San Francisco’s pier
Brings nothing to you such illusion of lightsome
I fear soon it would be over upon the warm I keep.

Courtville’s home might split in half
The cars might follow the shame
And a court battle has just begun.
Oh, God, believe me! I’m going to fight to death
To give domestic life another paramount twist,
Scream if it’s necessary but my little boy isn’t going
With her.

You blame me for all and for what it is no there
Like the time I write and make you within my limits
Nothing I could do to change color and vain
But my little boy, the one you have given to me
From the last autumn isn’t going to live with that ugly bull of yours.


Details | Free verse | |

He's the reason for my pain

Love has been the source of my pain,
Everything he does i'm being blamed.

Even though that love is lost,
The price of the load I carry is at a very expensive cost.

No one ever wants to hear my side,
Even if they did find out the truth they wouldn't tell because of their pride.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Can't Do This Anymore It's Dragging Me Down

I just can’t keep “doing this” any longer! What am I doing? I began to wonder… This “sin” just keeps dragging me further down… What do I do? There’s no one around??? This “thing” has got a hold on me… I cry every night… I want to be FREE! I’ve tried and tried… But to no avail… Just when I think I have victory… I fail! I’ve read in scripture of a power that I haven’t seen. I read of a savior who can do ANYTHING! Why don’t I give him a try? I’ve nothing to lose! I’ve been so hurt, worn out and abused..… To you, dear Jesus… I confess my every sin. And can feel your love from deep within! Thank you Jesus! For giving me a joy I never knew… I don’t know where I’d be if not for YOU! You’ve brought to my life a peace I never had. For all you’ve done for me. I am so glad! Won’t YOU give your burdens to this one… I call friend? And experience the joy of being born again? Please come to him now. Why not this hour? And experience his life-changing power! By Jim Pemberton 01/17/10


Details | Bio | |

My so called dad

Tell me why do i hurt you so


Details | Rhyme | |

He

He was the one who held my hand, 
And the footprints were his next too mine in the sand,
He was the one who tucked me in at night,
And when I was scared he would turn on the light,
He was the one who drove me too school,
And he stuck up for me when people where cruel, 
He was the one who fought with her,
And they argued and shouted and walked out the door,
He was the one who never came back, 
And all I can say is that is that.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Santa Iraq

Dear Santa.............Iraq       

Candles burning sure and bright, 
Shining through the Christmas tree. 
Santa's coming 'round tonight, 
Bringing presents here for me. 

I sent a letter some time ago, 
I asked for things I'd need. 
For these are things for Mum and me, 
It certainly wasn't greed. 

For I am thirteen years of age, 
I asked, "please bring Dad back". 
I miss him; Mum is so upset, 
Since he died inside Iraq. 

I cry myself to sleep some nights, 
I can hear Mums sobbing heart. 
He's the only present we will need, 
"Don't keep us all apart". 

Dear Santa, no more toys or clothes, 
No gifts from that Christmas sack. 
The only thing that we all want, 
Is to have my Daddy back. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Dad

The person who gave me life like watering a flower
No one is perfect from being sweet to sour
Tears come and go like endless waterfalls
Memories treasure our past to shattering walls

From shaking hands to fading skin and letting pictures breeze
Sunday church of good news and praying on your knees
Travel every hour just because you care
And from snapping on each other and saying that I won't have hair

Ghetto love and puertorican hugs to drowning in our floods
Angels watching over us and sleeping from above
Little kids create some smiles for us to have forever
A million miles away from my family wishing to be together

From curses to bible verses invisible pain hurts from worst
From apple faces to shadow tears that makes us want to burst
Nasty crashes to itching rashes that bring us closer like two
I'm your son, your my father something that always grew


Details | Rhyme | |

God Brought A Healing To My Troubled Mind


God Brought A Healing To My Troubled Mind… I used to allow many thoughts to enter my mind. There were good and bad ones... Just about every kind. My family thought I was being a “good Christian.” I never did anything that raised “a suspicion.” I went to church every week and did the “Sunday thing.” I had no idea the kind of life my thoughts would bring. I felt much “turmoil” of what was in my head. “How much longer can I take this?” Were the words I said. As there were many bad thoughts that seemed to “burn.” Those around me didn’t know or were concerned. I needed some help. And I needed it fast! I didn’t know how much longer I would last! With no friend to help.., I decided to pray. This was my time with God! This was my day! I cried out to God with a voice of confession; “Dear Jesus rule over my mind and take possession!” As I read God’s word... Philippians 4:8 was found. Virtue and wholeness in my life needed to abound! I asked and begged God to help me to obey it! I gave my commitment to him. And not just “say it.” A love for him as a friend was found and did bring. His peace and love “washed away” the evil things. Christ restored my life and my mind was renewed. He set me free! Now, I’m BRAND NEW! Won’t you allow God to bring his love to your soul? With him in your life... All darkness will GO! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Those Close to Us Can Cause Much Hurt And Pain


Those Close To Us Can Cause Much Hurt And Pain... Isn’t it amazing… The hurt and damage, someone can do? Especially by the same person who said; “I Love You!” Isn’t it amazing… How someone, which we’ve given our heart… Can betray our love, and “tear it all apart?” On that special day, when your vows were exchanged… It’s almost like “overnight,” some people change! Even amongst Christians. This seems too commonplace. As people seek their own desires… Instead of God’ grace. Isn’t it amazing… How anger, jealousy and bitterness begins? Even amongst our loved ones, that we have called “friends?” What’s more amazing… Is how God, in his mercy and care.. Still loves us. And he is always there! No matter what you’ve said… No matter what you’ll do…. God remains the same. And is always there for YOU! He is faithful. His commitment to you is strong and secure! His love is everlasting. And is 100% PURE! I stand amazed, as to how God still loves us. He asks for our heart. He wants to trust us! Won’t you come and experience his love today? He loves you so much more than words could ever say! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

That Little Girl

That Little Girl 

Born into a world where the people she would come to love
Would be the people who would hurt her the most 
Always hoping for their love, approval and care
Never giving up on her dream that someday she would get just that
Hanging on to the memories of the few times when she did. 

A sex slave to her own father
Every day wanting to die
Yet fighting to survive
Pouring her heart out 
Not getting anything in return
Crying on the inside while pasting a smile on the outside

Feeling the grief and relief
After her father pases away
Then feeling guilty, ashamed and confused
For feeling any relief and why
Not even wanting to believe one of the people, she loved the most
Had hurt her and then abandoned her
That is how she felt

Going to school and pasting a smile on
Being funny one day
Mean the next
Never knowing how she should be 
Always doing her best to hide
The pain inside

Surrounding herself with friends
Keeping them at a distance 
Not really letting them in
If they were just using her that was okay
Being popular was all that mattered
Even if it compromised who she really was 
On The Inside 

Trying to please everyone 
While never pleasing her
Thinking food was the enemy
She never felt skinny enough
Not eating, vomiting when she did
Starvation became a way of life
Little did she know she would have to fight it the rest of her life

That was her life
That was her world
Until someone came along
Showed her it did not have to be
She could get better if she tried
With a lot of work 
Determination
And a long road still to go
Always trying to focus on the light at the end of every tunnel
She has come such a long way
Now 

That Little Girl

Has turned into 

Me

By: Jean Shular



Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Heart

Dear heart do not weep.

Simply sigh as you sleep.

I know your broke and so alone.

But embrace the silence , hear the tone.

Dont be sad for its not bad.

To let go of the dreams that you once had.

You cannot be sorry, please dont bleed.

Dear heart that beats inside me.



                                               Wriiten by Author Joseph Adam Burchett 1/21/12


Details | I do not know? | |

Butterflies of Fear

Being a child of addiction,
Not much you can do,
Cant anger the beast,
Don't want the object they hit to be you

Constant stir in my stomach,
Butterflies of fear cry,
Gotta turn up the music,
Otherwise my spirit might die

Friends not home,
In my room alone,
Look in the backyard, 
Tried to grow grass, disaster prone

Turn on the black and white tube,
Married with Children hears my blues,
Cracks me up,
Way better than watching the news

It's in the small things I find comfort,
Outside bedroom walls are chaos,
I walk out there always in silence,
Don't want to upset the big boss.

Its easy to lie when your well being is at stake,
Keeping them happy makes your fake,
Soon your feelings mirror gray rainbows,
Different colors for every mood, 
Emotions numb, colors no longer glow.





Details | Free verse | |

My Lie

I am searching the person I once was  
 wishing so bad I could find her again
she hurt so bad that she ran and hid
and hasnt been seen since
I usta be kind gentle and warm
but I turned cold a ***** full of scorn
But I am ok Shes perfectly numb
she was sweet and oh so kind
but though out life she found out she was blind
she wanted to help people and heal the world
but purpose was lost so she figured why bother
I might as well live just like my father
so she hid behind a bottle of anger and lies
getting to drunk to remember where she hides
she lies awakes at night and screams and crys
cause noones  around to witness her lie
By.Jessica bowie


Details | Quatrain | |

Child or Adult?

Angered by the system 
Imprisoned by fate
Filled with emotion
Outlined with hate

Every minute with him 
Is a moment filled with pain
A father causing hurt
A child labeled insane

Picking at every wound
Determined to make him bleed
Father giving orders
Son longing to be free

Father swings in anger
Son hits back in rage
Father walks away free
Now son is in a cage

He wants to do the right thing
And live by all the rules
The law forces him to stay
How could they be so cruel?

He is no longer a child
He’ll be tried as an adult
Not allowed to make a choice
Though he’s allowed to vote

His father will not let him leave
Or do the things he wants
Tied by the laws of man
Tortured by fathers taunts

His mother wants to help him
She hasn’t the means
Witnessing as an outsider
In this horrible scene

Copyright © 2009 Lena “Lolita” Townsend


Details | Couplet | |

Biography

I have this desire
To write and inspire.
But would the world open its ears and listen
When most of my life has already been written?
What about my life could possibly be said
To make it worthy of being read?
Sexually abused by a family friend,
These were dark times that seemed to have no end.
Raped and verbally abused,
This was a life I didn’t choose. 
As a third grader I was obsessed with my mortality.
My mother had a severe hoarding tendency. 
My father was physically there, but emotionally absent.
I possessed a strong fear of peer judgment.
Drugs and alcohol littered my street.
Strangers became the only people I’d meet.
 I saw men bleed until their last breath.
I’ve felt the sting of a premature death.
I saw evil on a daily basis. 
I became just a number in a social worker’s cases. 
I feared I’d be called a liar.
It was a constant battle to keep my head held higher.
The stories of my life could fill a book,
But would anyone bother to take a look?


Details | Narrative | |

Mother to Son

You live in another world
spiritual realm your heaven
a powerful entity in itself.

The watching of your loved ones
from the angels sky
sprinkling your wishes
of joy to them all.

Never missing anything
from the highest plane
where you can move on
to another journey.

The past, present and future
are all multi-dimensional
in the hall of records
where past judgments lie.

Spread your angel wings
fly down to me upon the earth
so I can feel you once more.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Didn't Know HOw Good I Had It Until I Lost Everything I Owned


I didn't know how good I had it, 
until I lost all that I owned.
I lost my famly, all of my cars 
and even my home.

I tried to live a life according
 to a "good principle."
I let pride get in the way and
 felt rather "invincible."

I once had money, wealth and a lot of fame.
It seemed like everyone around
 me all knew my name.

I feel empty now... afraid.... 
and "at my wit's end."
Everyone. it seems, has left me.
 Even my "close friend.

Jesus... You're the one I know 
that I can call upon.
You make things "right" 
when all seems "wrong."

What you can give to me, 
money could never buy.
I humbly kneel before you Lord, 
with a desperate cry.

PLease help me dear Jesus. 
 I know that you can.
I read in your word that you are; 
"I AM that I AM!"

In YOU... Jesus... can I
 find life's meaning.
Your life for mine, is what I'm now receiving.

You're my best friend whom 
I love so much.
I long for your mercy and peace... 
your "special touch."

You alone can bring true joy that 
fortune could never give.
You brought me hope and peace
 and a reason to live!

By Jim Pemberton
2007


 






Details | I do not know? | |

Note to Father

How could you help bring me into this
world and not take care of me.
17 years later still no sign of u anywhere.
you and mom bailed out not given a shit
about me never in a million years would
I think of this ever happening. If I ever see u
or even get the chance to meet u, I will tell u
that I hate u and I never want to see u. Dad
don't u care anything about me, well just to let
u know I am doing just fine without u. Growing
up without a Father is something that hurts but
I learned to live without u.


Details | Couplet | |

The Car

Your arm around my throat, Continued to provoke.
Under your sleeve you beat my face,Was strangled by your arm's embrace.

I soon gave up and that was when, you led me to the car,
You bashed my head into the side,then threw the door ajar.

Around my body you had grasped, both my legs and my neck,
Then you threw my weak limp body into the car's back.

As you called my broher out, to help to lock me in,
you forced upon that 12 year old such a filthy sin.

Locking in that dreadful car yourself and my hurt self,
you turned around, continued beating, till I screamed an yelped.

Finally the only thing I knew, just must be done,
I strained to reach and grab my phone, i dialed 911.

He raced us out the neigborhood, to try and get away,
demanding that I give my phone, Dear God, there was no way.

He then pulled out his cell phone, and dialed the same number,
He told them I was killing him, that I would pull him under.

You'd never believe what happened on that dark an dreary day,
Was it I that got in trouble, yes, my father got away.


Details | Free verse | |

Preach

Preach to the full moon soldier
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder

Mother has child that father denies
Leaves when his baby lets out those first cries
Excuses flying, lies sailing; words without care
Feelings are complicated so share you don't dare
Lips that smile hold some bruises and a cut
Hands that have done the damage slam the door shut
You watch him out the window glass
Retreating figure gone at last

Preach to the full moon soldier
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder

Things get harder, mothers fired
Baby is toddler and much too tired
Money is in short supply
If only father would just comply 
To help raise his growing kid
Instead he ran and lost his bid
A single tear stains the cheek
Of a mother's soul who's much too weak

Preach to the full moon soldier 
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder

Mothers dead, everything's blown
Toddler is small child left alone
Father drunk, stumbling back
Custody left to this piece of slack
Days are long and too far gone
Nights are worse, he's never done
Talking his beer scented words speaking
He says to his child be kind, PREACHING

Preach to the full moon soldier 
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder

Small child has developed
Distinguished individual moving up
Swearing to the sky blue
They will be nothing like you
Father in jail thief from the night
Cell lit dimly with pal moonlight
A smile to the grown child
A tear from the man of the wild

Preach to the full moon soldier
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Help

Born into a life of wonder and exploring Her parents she looks up to Curious mind roaring her parent adoring What she doesn’t know her faith she would soon lose Years grew old as the child grown And her father gives her these looks Her mother wonders but should have know In husband mind what cooks Mother works hard day by day Father sits and waits Father and child they play all day But by then it would be late “Daddy please don’t hurt me, get off!” Her voice yells with fright “Only one time I swear” He doesn’t really care Next morning comes she wants to die “Mommy why won’t her breath Close her eyes and you believe me” “Oh, darling why would you lie?” Believe me “why?” cries Days go one and months go by No one believe her she can’t go one She grabs her dad’s gun, she begins to cry That father trust is beyond gone She cocks the gun and holds dreams Pulls the trigger and it bring death And the heaven light beams She was raped and it ended her life Because no one listened to her Her life cut short as if by a knife This happened all the time Just listen to the cry


Details | Rhyme | |

I've Failed You Once Again

I Have Failed…


Lord, I have failed you time and time again,
By hanging on to my unrepentant sin.
I once thought, “my life will never get off track,”
Until that one day when I committed such a
terrible act.


“No one’s watching me” was what I thought,
not knowing the pain and suffering into my family
I had brought.
That one night of “pleasure” I hoped would go away,
but this sin stares me in the face every single day!

The lust that crept into my once cheerful heart,
Is now eating at me—tearing me all apart.
I once thought I was too good to commit a sin like this,
so many of God’s blessings I now will miss.

To you Jesus—my whole heart I ask you to cleanse.
for in you my whole life now depends.
Create in me a clean heart, renew a right spirit
within me.
Your forgiveness in my life is what others must see.

The most important thing to God I can now give,
Is a broken and contrite heart each day I shall live!


By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Crying for Daddy

I had a void in my life
 That I wasn't completely aware
 Because how could you miss
 Someone that wasn't there?
 I always had imitations
 But never the real thing
 Your absence and neglect
 Were part of my upbringing
 I was jealous of friends
 Who had theirs there
 And I was stuck without one
 Because you didn't care
 I used to constantly wonder
 What I did wrong
 Why did you have another family
 In which I didn't belong
 Introduced to me for the first time
 When I was around the age of nine
 I just stared at you in awe
 And noticed that we looked alike
 At 12 I saw you again
 When you came by my school
 And when you left again
I started to feel blue
 When would I see you next?
 Would you stick around?
 Why don't you see me
 If you stay here in town?
 I wonder, if you would have stuck around
 Would my life have been different?
 Would I still be the same
 If I had both of my parents?
 You weren't around
 I didn't feel protected
 And I really wasn't
 Got me feeling rejected
 If you were here
 He wouldn't have gotten to me
 My innocence intact
 Maintaining my purity
 How could you abandon me?
 How could you leave me alone?
 You never came by to visit
 Or even picked up the phone
 I was bitter for a long time
 Because you chose others before me
 It broke my heart and hurt my feelings
 To not have my own daddy
 You accepted a child that wasn't yours
 But you never tried to raise me
 Can't you understand the confusion
 That your decisions caused me?
 I am 29 years old
 And no man has ever loved me
 I think I may have daddy issues
 Which is why I'm still one deep
 You have been with me for 8 years
 That's not much time at all
 I still can't call you "Daddy"
 Because I still have up that wall
 You don't get to pick your parents
 Some are strong, some are weak
 Some you're proud of, others you're not
 You get what you get, despite what you seek
 Yes I do love you, I really do
 Your blood runs through my veins
 But we still need to catch up
 So you can right all of my pains.


Details | Rhyme | |

Irrational Fears

Sometimes I dream about irrational fears
When I wake up it find myself in tears
It's uncontrollable and not his fault
Old news, been discussed and I felt better
So when these moments come along
I try my best to lock it in my vault

Hard to trust when paternal instincts weren't enough
To keep a man honest and protective
You've looked him in the eye over and over
When you find out the truth
Feels like they're ejecting your love



Details | Chant Royal | |

He pray's

He stood in the doorway
you can see the worry upon his face
trying to make a life for his family.

He look's at his hands 
they seem so strong 
yet so week. 

He feels like he failed his family
let them down
he painfully falls to his knee's

He mumbles under his breath,
"I can't do it without you Lord
Please help me" He pray's

one foot with a roof over his head
one foot on the street
and not much for his family

He stood in the doorway 
praying for his family
"thank-you"


Details | I do not know? | |

my ocean of tears

puddles,ripples,splish,splash!
here are my feelings wallop,bang,crash
these are the sounds of my tears
oh!dad so many by gone years.

oceans,lakes,fields of water
so much love will never falter
there goe's my heart bending and reeling
tear drops,drip out my feelings!

hold me!shake me,shove me awake
oh!dad your gone, i'll cry you a lake
droplets of tears upon my face
splashes of tears,resembling lace

i would travel all oceans
through these fields of emotions
to bring you on home
so my mothers no longer alone

i've cried you a river of tears
oh!to go back to bygone years
but you will not come back
for me to have dad and mum to have jack!


Details | Free verse | |

Outward

Airport terminals betray many turbulent thoughts,
as lives pass and friends fly, far away.
I sit here in this chair, wondering when
I'll ever see such faces again.

Some tears have already made their way down,
forcing themselves to the sad surface.
When shaking hands with your teacher and your friend,
hugging the ones who've made you whole - it is what it is.

More, however, are yet to come.
As we taxi out on the runway, departure-bound,
I see behind my eyes this scene on the silver screen;
and lo, what plays out before my glistening eyes.

A soft melody breaches my ears and my mind,
tag-teaming with the past
to bring forth such savage depths;
drops, slowly, continue to fall.

As I think of those I will always miss,
no matter how close or how undeniably far;
as this is born into life on the page;
I ache for home.

I know what I am;
I fight for all things familiar.
I gave up my right to not feel this,
to defend others' rights never to.

A man dear to me once told me
that I've done my share. No matter how long it's been,
just the first step was enough, he said.
That I owe nothing more.

I hope he's right.
I hope, when this is over, that I can find
all these faces. That I can find
my way back once more.

Maybe one day I can figure out
how to listen.
Maybe one day, I'll live for me;
maybe one day I'll believe him.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Father of Shadows and Lines

My father’s a memory of shadows and lines
In black and white photos his smiling face shines
A man in a war
With a family of four
And just another victim of his times

The year was 1951
He left behind three girls – one son
A pilot and plane
Nothing left but his name
And I’m left with no memories to come

As I sit and write these lines
I think of him and my heart pines
I was just four
When he was no more
My father’s just a memory of shadows and lines.

Mdailey	6/16/11
Contest:  Shadows and Lines


Details | I do not know? | |

Blur

You left a hole in my heart that nobody can fix
I always listen to your favorite songs and look back at old pics
You let me be myself by giving me freedom and space
You never yelled at me when you were mad, but I could see it in your face
You were a pretty quiet guy and enjoyed your time alone
You loved fishing, bike riding, and listening to the music on your phone
You protected the family by making us feel secure
Whenever I was sick you always knew the proper cure
You weren’t big on doctors or getting help from others
You didn’t tell anyone you were sick, not even your mother
You didn’t want people to think you weren’t tough
You always told Brad and I not to sweat the small stuff
Although you didn’t show it often, I knew you were so proud of me
I loved showing off my grades to you, you never cared when I got a B
You wanted me to be happy with whatever I chose to do
You never forced me to be a doctor, it is what I choose to pursue
We had a special relationship unique to you and I
I will never forget kissing you that final goodbye
You laid there in peace, with an open mouth and closed eyes
No longer breathing, you had finally died
I sat there in shock, not knowing what to do
I cant believe this was my dad, why did it have to be you?
I felt so many emotions that my body felt numb
I hope this is something I will one day overcome 
My heart is in such pain and I am constantly sad
I can’t believe this happened to my smart, healthy dad
This traumatizing experience will never escape my mind
I watched how your health gradually declined
When you were put on the ventilator, I knew it was bad news
It was so scary and painful to see what you were going through
I hated that you couldn’t talk and that you were heavily sedated
I was praying to heaven that you would finally be extubated
I jumped for joy when mom called to say the tubes were removed
Little did I know that you would never improve 
So much has changed since all of this occurred
When I look back on this experience, it is all a blur


Details | Lyric | |

Blood of a liar, mark of a thief

You took it all
(I held my breath)
You screamed my name
(as you fell to your death)
The crowed gathered round
but I stood tall
with your body laying so broken
you've never looked so small

The rain started pouring down
(oh how I smiled)
There were sirens in the distance
(only a half a mile)
Down below the screaming sounds
I can't hear a thing
everyone's gaze is upon me
waiting for the once caged bird to sing

(Liar)
You promised me everything
did your words mean nothing
were they empty
lifeless without a theme
(Thief)
You took hold of my heart
shredded my soul, raped my mind
did it mean anything
was I even worth it
ir just another part to your scheme

The rain washes away the evidence
(the blood, sweat, and tears)
But rain can't wash away everythng
(no, not everything)
not the pain suffered through the years

Your words were so sweet
who was I to judge
I fell for your parlor tricks
over the edge with one small nudge
Such a beautiful disguise you wore
silly little me
I fell into your web of lies
far too young to ever see

(Liar)
You promised me everything
did your words mean nothing
were they empty
lifeless without a theme
(Thief)
You took hold of my heart
shredded my soul, raped my mind
did it mean anything
was I even worth it
ir just another part to your scheme

You could have been mine
(does it hurt now, hush, be quiet now)
You sold your soul for a good time
(does it hurt now, hush, don't speak now)
Did you think I'd never know?
(does it hurt now, does it hurt now)
Now you must reap the crop you've sewn

(Liar)
You promised me everything
did your words mean nothing
were they empty
lifeless without a theme
(Thief)
You took hold of my heart
shredded my soul, raped my mind
did it mean anything
was I even worth it
ir just another part to your scheme

(Liar)
You had such a pretty little plan
(Thief)
Carried out by such a careless little man


Details | Free verse | |

Waiting...

Waiting... By: Candice 


He listens in the dark at the warfare in the distance.

With each passing day his heart grows colder.

His passion for violence grows immensely

and the remnants of his " once was life" are no longer fresh in his mind.

Gunfire and roadside bombs were now a part of his everyday life.

He''d give anything to be at home, warming a bottle for a midnight feeding,

or preparing to change a diaper who had been a victim of a disastrous explosion.

He smiles to himself thinking of his new baby boy

and prays to God that he will return home safely to hold the precious miracle of life

that he had not yet laid eyes or hands on.

He tightly closes his eyes to hold back the threat of oncoming tears.

Images of a deadly blast just days before crowd his mind,

He begins to weep.

This war torn life would affect him for all eternity.

He was in fact, a victim of war.

He would never know another restful night.

Rest doesn''t come easy for a man who has seen men blown to pieces by bombs and lifeless
on the terrain.

However the disaster of a lost life somehow brings him strength to drudge through another day.

He takes out the crumpled birth announcement.,

reads the print and gently tucks it away.

He had never known such an emptiness.

Everyday he waits.

For what he is not sure.

He just prays in the end, it will have been worth it.


Details | Free verse | |

When he leaves

When he leaves, it's unexpected
Like men who go to war.

One minute they are holding you
the next they leave for shore.

When he says he's going
He looks you in the eyes.

Your heart starts beating faster
your mind has tears and cries.

But while he's standing next to you
you say that it's OK.

You help him pack up all his things
and don't create delay.

And when she lays herlself down
to go to sleep at night.

She gathers two sweet pillows
and holds them oh so tight.

07/98
R. Risley


Details | Rhyme | |

A Fatal Mistake

A father went to clean his car,
All covered up in snow.
For company, he had his son,
Eleven years, in tow.

The temperature was freezing
So the dad thought he should sit
Inside the toasty car
To warm himself a little bit.

The engine hummed, the father dug,
But little did they know
The tailpipe couldn’t do its job,
For it was filled with snow.

The fumes were seeping in the car;
The boy was warm inside.
His father opened up the door
To find his son had died.

Such heartbreak and the worst of it,
As all the signs suggest,
Is that the dad, to help his son,
Did what he thought was best.

It’s very sad but there are times,
Despite our best intentions,
When life is cruel and mocking
And allows no interventions.

I think about that father’s grief
And can’t know how he feels.
I only hope that time and love
Will help him as he heals.


Details | Free verse | |

No Longer

Beautiful...
This oil scented black...
Closet, no way out...
Mommy? Daddy?
.....................................
There not proud of me...
It stares...
Dead in the doorway...
My slip of air...
Boiler on...
Record plays...
...sdrewkcaB
Silence is in the air...
Dad?
He takes me once again...
Throws me on a bed...
And he said...
Nothing...


Details | I do not know? | |

Daddy

I really don’t know where to start 
 So I guess I’ll just say what’s in my heart 
 I want to tell you a story 
 About my dad that I never got to see 
 He was kind and good and a brave man 
 There were many like him who left to fight in another land 
 Like others who went before 
Everyone prayed that they would be back at the end of the war 
That men would come and leave no more 
He never came back again 
 He never saw my life begin
Never saw my first birthday 
 Or take me to school on my first day 
 I grew up wondering why 
Why didn’t God pass my daddy by 
 To let him come back home safe to be 
 Home to his loving family 
I’ll never feel his loving touch 
Or hear his words telling me he loves me so much 
 The dad I long to see is in a picture in front of me 
And yet I know he will always be here in my heart to comfort and guide me


Details | I do not know? | |

Silent Cries

My tears began to flow like the blood from my ****** when he raped me.

It’s crazy how he looks into my eyes & can’t seem to see himself.

The spitting image of him, I wonder if he was raped like he’s raping me.

With every thrust it feels like my insides are being ripped apart

and life begins to seep out of my body.

He starts to pant & jerk letting me know he is done.

As he leaves the room, I am too weak to move.

Closing my eyes, I begin to pray, “Dear Lord please hear my cries”.

I know my mother who’s in the room next to me hears my cries but is to highed up to even care.

She ignores the fact that my ****** looks played with, abused, and misused.

MY OWN FATHER RAPED ME & my mother ignored it.


Details | I do not know? | |

Daddy

As we gather 
A new storm to weather
 My tears run down my face
Were is that wonderful place

The one you always took me to
When my day was sad or blue
Daddy what will I do
without you

Who will be there when I am scared
Who will be there for my secrets to share
Daddy don't go not yet fight just a while longer
Just hold out till I can be a little stronger

I cant lose you now
Daddy please I don't know how
I know I am being selfish 
I know I sound so childish

But I know I cant go on without you at least not today
I need your strength and your special way
Of making everything better with a hug and smile
So Daddy please stay here just a while 

You are still so needed and loved so much dad
Just the thought of losing you drives me mad
I cant keep from crying at the thought of you being gone
So Daddy please hang on


Details | Classicism | |

lost father and the long lost twin veteran brother

day and night i sit and wonder when is my dad coming home
he writes to me about the war and the things that has happened 
"dear son 
soon I'll be home and i promise you won't recognize me
today i killed at 5 japs and took under my wing a boy not much older than you and 
this makes me wish i was home with you."
one day I'll see my dad and hope that he looks the same 
day after day after day yet no sign that my dad is okay
then one day an army truck appears inside is a man and a young boy right about 
my age.
they knock on my door and i open it 
they told that my dad was dead and the boy in front of me was my twin and he 
was the boy that my father took under his wing .
i gave him a hug and cried for the lost of my father they told that is 15 japs and a 
missile that wiped my father out.
day and night with a new brother by my side i wait to be with my lost father again


Details | Free verse | |

September

We had a good thing going
Enjoyed our time in love
Never thought for a moment
I would ever have enough
Things were going so well
I thought I had it all 
But then came September
My world began to fall

The visit came that evening
The one I would always dread
A telegram from the division
Told me you were dead
No chance would come to tell you
How much I really loved 
Just a box with your remains
To bury in a yard

Deep down I’m just so angry
Why did you have to leave
Each night I prayed to God
To keep you safe for me
I guess I must have missed a night
For now it seems you have gone
One rainy night in September
The month we fell in love

I stand here at your grave now
Not understanding why
You had to go and leave
Before we said goodbye
So many things you will miss
Since you had to go away
One thing I want to tell you
Before I leave this day

A month before you left me
In September’s setting sun
Found out I was expecting
Together we have a son
I wanted to surprise you
When you came back home to me
Wish that I had told you 
The blessing he was to be

God’s peace in rest I hope you find
Until we meet again
For no one will ever
Take your place
Within my heart and live
I know one day we will meet again
In heaven by the shore
Just like we did so long ago
Before September came


Details | I do not know? | |

once

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines

he wrote a poem

And he called it "Chops"

because that was the name of his dog

And that's what it was all about

And his teacher gave him an A



And his mother hung it on the kitchen door


That was the year that Father Tracy

took all the kids to the zoo

And he let them sing on the bus

And his little sister was born

with  no hair

And his mother and father kissed a lot

And the girl around the corner sent him a valentine signed with a row of X's

and he had to ask his father what the X's meant

And his father always tucked him in bed at night

And was always there to do it.


Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines

he wrote a poem

And he called it "Autumn"

because that was the name of the season

And that's what it was all about

And his teacher gave him an A

and asked him to write more clearly

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

because of its new paint

And the kids told him

that Father Tracy smoked cigars

And left butts on the pews

And sometimes they would burn holes

That was the year his sister got glasses

with thick lenses and black frames

And the girl around the corner laughed

when he asked her to go see Santa Claus

And the kids told him why

his mother and father kissed a lot

And his father never tucked him in bed at night

And his father got mad when he cried for him to do it.


Once on a paper torn from his notebook

he wrote a poem

And he called it "Innocence: A Question"

because that was the question about his girl

And that's what it was all about

And his professor gave him an A

and a strange steady look

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because he never showed her

That was the year that Father Tracy died

And he forgot how the end of the Apostle's Creed went

And he caught his sister making out on the back porch

And his mother and father never kissed or even talked

And the girl around the corner wore too much makeup that made him cough when he kissed her

but he kissed her anyway because that was the thing to do

And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed

his father snoring soundly.


That's why on the back of a brown paper bag

he tried another poem

And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"

Because that's what it was really all about

And he gave himself an A

and a slash on each damned wrist

And he hung it on the bathroom door

because this time he didn't think

he could reach the kitchen.


Details | I do not know? | |

Happy Birthday Daddy & Papaw

                            If only you was here with us you would 
                         have been 65 today. Things haven't been 
                       the same since you left us on January 12th.
                      But I know you are in God's hands now. And 
                     with Grandma, where you wanted to be since
                                                you lost her.
                       It has ripped my whole world into a million
                     pieces since you left me here all alone. But I
                       Know you will never have to suffer again.
                      Cause you suffered way too long, trying to
                                  hang on to be here for us.
                      I know you wanted me to be strong and not
                       hurt like I have. But Daddy, when you love
                    someone as much as I love you, it's hard not
                       to cry or hurt. I am lost too death without 
                                               you by my side.
                         Even though I didn't always show you or 
                        tell you and we didn't always get along. I
                       wish I could turn back time, so I could let 
                      you know that....I always have been Daddy's
                      Girl and always will be. I love and miss you
                       so....I'm sorry I never got to say Good-Bye
                         or the chance to let you know just how
                      much you meant to me. But I know in my
                        heart you know and in my heart you will
                                                   always be...
                                    We Sure Do Miss You!!!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Disgust

my body hurts
i think ill puke
to rid my insides of your essence
i came from you
you are my blood
disgusting truth
sickenes my soul
you are the demon
that haunts my mind
i will follow your footsteps 
in due time
 not willingly
ill fall to your grave
whisper deep emotions
and spit on your name
all dignity lost
a feeling prfound
ill become better than you
ill mean more than your exsitence
so die today
brighten tommorow
i look forward to your end
for then, my smile will never fade


Details | I do not know? | |

my unfortunate excuse of a father

ill have to hide my money, from your greedy hands.
wow stealing from a kid and your a grownup man.
youll be at home ill be at school
me worrying about you sealing all our food.

ill need a lock to my bedroom door
so you dot sneak in and steal some more.
i know what ill find when i come home
an empty house,me ll alone

our hope, youll steal, my money, youll take
then youll be be gone, dude your such a fake
i hide in my room now thinking about how
my life will be with you around.


Details | I do not know? | |

will you ever know

I don’t think you’ll ever know How the love I had for you was like no other How willing I was to do anything you asked me How far I went to make you happy and failed But only wanting to ever make you proud I don’t think you’ll ever know When I said I love you with my whole heart When I said daddy I want to be just like you When I said id love you till I die and then some Because it came deep from the heart I don’t think you’ll ever know How handsome I thought you were How much I loved every little thing about you even your flaws How much I just wanted you to care about me Because you’re my dad and I was supposed to be daddy’s girl I don’t think you’ll ever know How much I hated it when you yelled How all I ever wanted was to see you laugh How my heart beat with joy every time I saw you smile Because you were my daddy I don’t think you’ll ever know How much pain I suffered How many nights I cried in a row How many times my heart broke into more and more pieces Because all I ever wanted was you to care My dad, the one and only dad That will never be replaced by any other that will never be erased from my memories some were good some were bad, I’ve never stopped trying to make you proud I love you I always will and I hope maybe, just maybe one day, my dreams will come true Maybe you’ll know now how much I love you! And you will be proud


Details | Free verse | |

The Ugliest Girl in the World

I’m the ugliest girl in the world
I hide on the outside
With make up
With curls
When I’m thin people like me
Congratulations!
What an achievement
For abandoning myself
When I’m fat, people like me
Ugliness peeks through
So witty!
So smart!
So talented!
Thank god she’s fat!
In between
Mother says with mother bias
What a pretty face
Father says with male bias
I’m an 8 out of 10
Thanks, Dad
Lovers know what I want to hear
But won’t say
It will seem false
It will be false
After all
I am the ugliest girl in the world

Lovers compliment others
Words never said to me
For I am ugly
If I had the right kind of knife
I’d carve an X into my face
Diagonal
Right to left
Diagonal
Left to right
X-ed out
Then there would be no question
It’s the wondering that kills me

Maybe, maybe it doesn’t matter
Maybe, maybe I’m pretty
This woman lives in me, somewhere
Battling my ugly
Battered by my ugly
In me, two people who despise each other
No one sees my wounds
Agonizing wars, b*tches brawl
If I had the right kind of knife
I’d cut them right out of my chest
Leaving a void
Where the pain was
A void
My ugly pain
MY ugly
Where would I be without my ugly?


Details | Free verse | |

Loss but gained memories

He went as  he came, quietly, but not alone
His family and friends gathered
to see him home and pray that now he is pain free

No black was worn colours only he would say
its a good time, not really leaving you, I leave you
memories,  some good some maybe not, but memories are memories.

No more tears for me, I am all around, you will see me everywhere
in all things you do.  Occasionally an  inner voice will say
" Tad would have...................... when  triggered off. 
  Just think of me until  memories fade.

So we said our goodbyes to Tad , made promises to keep in touch
with family and friends as one does on these occasions. Went back home to our memories, never to forget.




Nov 3rd 2012


Details | I do not know? | |

What Would I Do

An anger inside,
Wish I could burn you alive,
Out of my control,
Watch as parts of me unfold,

If I find you,
What, what would I do?
If you were here in front of me,
What would I say or do,
This burning furry, my lips sealed,
Punch you girl why? 

Thinking of you makes me bipolar,
You've cause a lot of stress,
Put me at my worst when I was at my best,
If laws of nature didn't apply,
I'd find a chair, tie you up, leave you to die.
That's not me..so for a few minutes I'll cry 
Then I'll move on and play outside










Details | Rhyme | |

THAT DAY IN JUNE

I sat today midst the happy smiles
Of a children’s song, and for just a while 
I was happy too, for what else should come
From a happy day and a happy song

But it came again just like every June
When I feel the pain of an open wound
That on every other day I keep
Hidden far from view, buried oh so deep

But I guess that’s why they made the day
So that folks like me can’t just walk away
From the hidden chambers, vaults and tombs 
Where ghosts like this are left to loom

Waiting for the chance to emerge again
On that day in June; on the one day when
I can only sit choking back the tears
While the children sing…
And the ghosts appear

…Jeff Bresee


Details | Free verse | |

the pain of a users daughter

Her consistancy finally persuaded you to stay,
it still upsets me sometimes that she convinced you to treat your only daughter this way,
i know her addiction must be very tough, and i know crystal is her name
i used to look up to you, i used to tell my friends how lucky i was to have a dad like you,
but, that was the past befoure, meth became your soul, befoure you spun out of control,
i don't know if you ever think about the pain you have caused,
my innocent soul shattered to pieces, my heart broken while, my eyes were wide open,
no morphine can stop this uncontorolable pain, all the traumatizing memories consantly racking threw my insecure teenae brain,
i thought you could fight the addiction,
but, the truth is, you love her more than you love me,
i never knew you would fail me like this,
you looked me straight into my tear filled eyes and you and crystal told me a lie,
crystal has took away your honor of being called dady now your just my biological father,
she will follow you to your death bed, while your laying there alone and so filled with fear, you'r personality always filled with blame, its so sad to know she put you to shame and you can only blame yourself
you will not let her go; so i must say good bye


Details | Free verse | |

I Won't Write Santa

This year I won't write Santa,

Instead I'll write the President.

I won't forget to five-space indent,

Or write, Sincerely, George; from Atlanta.

I hope he reads all his notes, like Santa,

For at Christmas, he takes time to listen.

To a little boy that feels so sad,

Because all year he've missed his dad.

My dad is quite a brave man,

To go and serve in foreign lands.

Mom says, I must be real strong,

A sad letter to the President would be wrong.

My mom is always right,

Though, I must write to him this night.

I won't write a sad letter to him at all,

I'll write, "hope you have a ball."

I know he'll spend time with his dad,

His dad must be really proud and glad.

He'll have all his love ones with him,

"Ho-Ho, Merry Christmas to all of them."


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

So Tiny

The thoughts of you, brings tears to my eyes. The tiny eyes, that I'll never get to look into. The tiny hands, I'll never get to hold. My heart breaks, when I think about, the tiny heart I'll never get to feel, the tiny voice I'll never get to hear, the tiny body I'll never get to hold closely. So tiny, So small. but our love for you, so strong.


Details | I do not know? | |

'Lord Have Mercy'

I gave up partying to make life better
Now it seems as though everyone sees me
 and goes Let's Get Her.
I can't seem to get on my feet
 Forsomeone seems to come along and
 Knock me out of my seat.

So many deaths it's hard to keep
 up with.
So many losses do I really have
 to do this.
Fourteen days away
 It'll be a year since my cousin went away
to heaven to stay.
 Nine months ago from now
God took my dad  some reason,some how.

My life has never been the same
 Although I am much more tame
Lord have mercy give me a break and help me.
 For you can really see.


Details | Blank verse | |

Daydreams

She stares out the car window
Solemn and quiet 
Compared to the heated argument 
That just erupted in the front seat...
She daydreams
Waiting for the day she can leave;
Get away from this living hell
Far as she can run
Make her own decisions;
Her own life
Out from under Daddy's thumb...
Its always the same;
The fights, 
Then stony silence for days
The hidden bruises
The pain-
Physical and emotional hurt-
Hypocritical lectures from 
''The Master'' (Daddy)
Ruined relationships;
She lives with a broken heart-
Broken and half-way healed
So many times
It feels like it was never whole-
Tears trickle down her cheeks
She quickly rubs them away
Before Daddy sees.
And she daydreams again...


Details | I do not know? | |

For my Dad

Why did you have to leave me Dad
Why did you go away?
Theres so much I want to tell you Dad
So much I have to say

You shouldnt have gone and left me Dad
You know it isnt fair
There are many times important times
I need my Daddy there

You are my inspiration Dad
You are my shining light
I remember your many words Dad
And try to do things right

I hear your words all the time Dad
You talk to me I listen
But its the advice, the chats, the love you gave
Thats what Im really missing 

I follow your example Dad
I do things that you would do
Im sorry I like garlic Dad
But I hate the French like you

I have brought my boys up as you would have Dad
I know how proud of them you would be
They show respect and caring Dad
Just the way that you taught me

I try to live the right way Dad
Its difficult without you here
Though I know you are right beside me Dad
I know that you are near

I sit sometimes and cry Dad
Because I miss you so
I cannot believe when I think Dad
You died 10 years ago


Details | Free verse | |

Unborn

The man with the plastic bug in his head
monopolized my dreams last night
in the place that the horsefly of my dignity
finally surrender to the impresario without a fight.

Seven days and 7 hours transplanted in my memorabilia
reminding the rustiness of the purple child
flatterers danced beneath the clouds of melancholy
and morality spreader the master plan inside my mind.

The disinheritance of my immortality the final day
discouraged my desire to see the forbidden love
restored my will to escape
manipulated the deep of the uncertainty above.

Released from the plastic bug in my head
try to cover my yellow child in the purple sky
laughing,singing,whispering,playing
seven days and seven hours before he dies.


Details | Free verse | |

Your Father's Son

I grew tired once before
 of your lies and your isolation.
You bring forth and then abandon
 a cycle forever perpetuated.
So while I cry myself to sleep,
 you walk without a care.
Not a notion for the broken home
 nor the ones you left behind.
So you thought it was within the boundaries,
 you thought it was alright.
You thought you could create life,
 just to let it die.
So while I carry the weight on my shoulders
 of what you so callously let come true,
 others dance and live off stale dreams that never will come true.
I was tired once before,
 and I am tired yet again.
Of being the sole witness to your crime,
 of watching wasted lives produce more.
Another day of what should be joy
 brings only sorrow these long, long years lasting.
You ruined the only precious thing you ever had; 
You let it rot in the sun like something dead to you.
You left lives in broken pieces,
 with no care for their replacement.
Not a thought about the pain
 in an innocent child’s eyes,
Nor a care for a tired mother with nowhere to turn.
If you sleep at night,
 you surely must sleep with the Hounds of Hell.
For no one would ever comfort you,
 if they knew  who it is you are.
Not your mother’s son.
You are your father’s bastard child, still bitter from your fall.


Details | Free verse | |

Please Read About My Echo

We spoke today,
and we haven't spoken in a while,
Mom is in the bedroom,
                                     and Dad in the basement,

I'm on the bed- crying like a child,
and although all windows are shut,
a wind filters in,
bringing in
that old echo
                       the silent echo,
of cemetaries,
when the dead echo their name,
abuse, abuse, abuse,
"we lived once and were children,
but then we were abused,
and became
                    adults",

so I'm crying like a child,
and know abuse,
but life went on and scars
                                         were fused,

refused to let the pain sink in,
and abused my verse,
and never wrote with my own hand
just a dead man's eyes
and the hatred of my father
                                             who knew abuse,

and gave it like a regifted toaster at a wedding,
a toast that's burnt with obligation,
and consistency, always burnt,
                                                abused, crushed, ashes

as those cherished china vases where the dead poets
smugly held their noses high as I sniffed their poetry,
laid to rest in that cemetary where the wind blew,
and came home,
and left a gentle music as I spoke with my mom,
and my dad stayed in the basement and pretended he cared I was home,
and I'm not crying anymore,
                                          because we heard the echo and didn't ignore it today.


Details | I do not know? | |

Makes Me Stronger

How can I heal
When your apology isn't real
When the talk is cheap
And all I can do is weep

How can I pretend everything is okay
When I hurt inside day after day
This can't last much longer
But what doesn't kill me makes me stronger


Details | Rhyme | |

My Father

A father that shows compassion, a father that gives rules
A father with the intention 
Of seeing his little girl go through school
A father that has been there through good times and bad
A father that wipes my tears everytime I'm sad
A father that defends me through every trial I've been through
A father that teaches me the good, the bad, the old and the new
A father I could talk to whether it be good or bad
Is the father I never had, and this makes me very sad
For if I was blessed with a father that had wanted to be there
I would have been a better person today, I swear.


Details | I do not know? | |

No One Knows

No one knows how I feel
No one knows how bad I was hurt or that I'll never heal
This depression that I hide in
This fake grin

I am so sick of this pain
This hurt I can't even explain
I can't seem to love anymore
And this hurt I just can't ignore

There is no one to talk to
No one to listen to what I've been through
No one to help me cope
No one to give me hope
This has become a slippery slope

I'm just all alone
And this pain is all I can call my own
The one person could distance me so far
But that is just how it is and we are just what we are


Details | Rhyme | |

How Could a Mother

The word betrayal 
As i say at forty nine
Goes back when i was five
Way back in time

A mother, a father
And two little boys
A mother who played around
For her own little joys

Then one night
When her kids were asleep
Next door started a fire
We were out in the street

Our house was burnt down
Every thing we had was lost
Could we move on as a family
At no matter the cost

It was not to be
As in the courts it was decided
Two boys with their father
And their mother, now divided

What takes a mother
And her decision to leave home
To leave her young boys
In her selfish roam

Her husband, her boys
Start to make a new life
Then on that April day
Again, its filled with strife

William, her eldest
On a Monday night
Was knocked down and killed
Dragged from, her youngest ones sight

He never survived
We thank the angels he never
His limbs of four
Under the van were severed

How could a mother
Be as selfish as this
Leave her two young boys
For her adult bliss

Two years later
Her youngest nearly gone
Upon a bottle he fell
His artery severed, his life withdrawn

Maybe the angels
Were with him that day
For you now read his words
That his history says

Seven years later
My father departed
Broken hearted, distraught
Since her selfishness started

He joined his eldest
As they shone with the stars
Leaving the youngest behind
To live with the scars

Its what happens to a family
That becomes so frail
As she abandons her kids
The ultimate betrayal



My entry into Olusegun Adelana " Betrayal " contest




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/poetry-soup-5.php







Details | Epigram | |

I'd Ask You

I'd ask you to be true
But that's just not you
I gave you all of my trust
And now it's coated in the rust

Ashes to ased we all fall down
Pain to Pain we all drown
The disappointed faces of your fears
Cry them out through my cold tears

Confusing the thoughts in my head
The tears; already shed
Where did your heart disapear to
We haven't a clue


Details | Free verse | |

Dollar Bill Love

The creaking door announces
Workboots demeaning the “Welcome Mat”
Pillow touched voices grow closer
Harder
Closer 
Apple grass licks my bare feet
As I launch from
The room soon corrupted
By sugar filled noses
And failed breathalyzers
And thrown utensils 
And threatened throats
Coated with failed divorce
And corrupt psychology
And unanswered questions
And dollar bill love,
But my love costs more
Than cherry bicycles
And lightning scooters.


Details | Rhyme | |

Is Your Life Running On EMPTY

Is your life running 
on empty fumes?
Are the adversities and stress
 of life being consumed?

Any zeal and passion for God
 may be in the past…
You wonder; “How long is life
 going to last???”

Perhaps you feel like your
 anchor’s “been lost at sea…”
And ask; “Lord…  
Why is this happening to me?”

Things in life often
 catch us “unaware…”
You may ask; “does anyone
 out there really care?”

There is someone who
 can help you along!
In Jesus’ arms of mercy
 is where you belong!

He walked this earth and 
calmed the sea of Galilee…
He’ll calm the storms
 of life for you and me!

Won’t you give him a chance... 
 To calm your fears?
And allow his love to
 wipe away any tears?

He’ll bring peace to a
 hopeless situation…
All you need to do… 
 Is to give him an invitation…

The choice is yours…  
It’s your decision to make!
Won’t you do it now?  Before it’s too late???

By Jim Pemberton  
01/18/10







Details | I do not know? | |

I'll Always be Your Fool

I'll Always be Your Fool

I wish you were just an ex
Your wicked spell has me hexed,
Thinking I could get over you,
Damn I was such a fool

Ill never know how to get over you
I'm always going to be your fool..

I was all good until June,
Then my heart started craving food,
Just doesn't seem quite right,
Something isn't filling my appetite,

Ill never know how to get over you
I'm always going to be your fool..

Hit me like a brick,
My dad, the ultimate dick,
We haven't spoken in years,
You still brings me to tears,

Ill never know how to get over you
I'm always going to be your fool..

You should be here for this,
You cross my mind I get pissed,
Wish I could tuck these feelings,
Its all part of the healing,

Ill never know how to get over you
I'm always going to be your fool..

Whether its a wedding, 
New kid,
Something I've accomplished,
Or wish I did
I'd love to share it with you,
You'll never apologize,
So I'll just have to improvise
Don't think any amount of time will heal,
Gotta get a grip and learn to deal.




Details | Free verse | |

Honor Thy Parents

`Honor thy father and mother` ~Ten Commandments it is She who has given birth to me, it is He who has worked to raise me, it is They who have given me life and kept me alive. I should be expressing my eternal gratitude, My undying respect and sworn obedience, yet what do I do? Their kindness and love, I forsake, Their faces, weary from working to support me, I curse at, The loyalty, respect and gratitude they deserve, I forget. I bury myself with guilt, I don`t know how to ask forgiveness, I find it hard to express my feelings with honesty. I have at least filial piety, Obligated by nature and by God, to honor my parents. Yet till now I always curse them when I don`t mean to, I answer back before I stop my cursed mouth, and I don`t give them to honor they deserve. I am the worst daughter, I have the best parents, I cry myself to sleep.


Details | Free verse | |

Who to Turn to?

"Who to turn to?"

Walking on a sidewalk
in downtown New Orleans.
Night is the worse time to be out.
A father coming from work,
a long day at the office, he just wants to be home.
In just a matter of minutes,
a life is taken during a drive-by.

A little boy, and his mother, wait at home.
Waiting for daddy to arrive,
so they can all have dinner.
An hour passes by.. two hours, then three.
Where is he? Did something happen?

As soon as she goes to call the police
a knock is pounding on the door.
"Hi, I'm Officer Williams. I'm afraid I have bad news."
She knew at that moment
that her life was over.
Her love, her best friend,
was gone.
Who will she turn to?
To talk to when she's got a problem,
to lean on when she needs a shoulder.
Who will she turn to?


Details | Rhyme | |

Family Conflict

Soft mallets play the xylophone
In comes the low note g on trombone
Two hard mallets add their sound
There's no dry bones around

Soon the sound of a low bassoon
Bongo drum adds its tune
Wind blowing the harsh melody around
Orchestra pitch now the sound

All this floating to the ground
Soon  the only thing to be heard
Loud bassoon making its words
Quiet, quite still; one lone note
Bass drum----boom


Details | I do not know? | |

Why...?

Why is the sky blue?
Why is the house so brown?
Why is it important who it's from, not who it's to?
Why is everyone stuck in a frown?

Why are we all here? 
Why do we question everything and nothing?
Why is everyone to conseeded in their fear?
Why is the blood water rushing?

Why is this life so demanding?
Why is this need so unnegotiable?
Why is this pain still standing?
Why is this destiny so unsociable?


Details | Quatrain | |

ANOTHER DIVINE CREATION

My beautiful body is another divine creation,
every part, so perfect, is guided by this wisest, most sinless heart,
which will not make it err when temptation
tries to weaken it by making it remember the bitterness of regrets. 


Nudity imparts its own beauty when it is considered a temple governed by purity;
nonetheless, it came from God's thoughts and artful hands;
so why should we be ashamed of it, if it is shown accordingly?
Many have exploited it for monetary gains and this is the plague of our society!   


My image is gladly seen in the clearest mirror,
inducing awareness, amazement and gratefulness,
never thinking of defiling it with unworthy offers;
even Satan is plotting against me and waving war!


Immoral persons won't hesitates to show their lewd interest,
thus taking advantage of someone needing the desperate break;  
these people corrupt any soul to rob it of dignity by their kind amenity... 
where's your sense of keenness, when it comes to view your sexuality? 
  

My beautiful body is another divine creation,
wonderfully and perfectly made to use it adequately;
glances of admiration by others may be full of inequity,
and adulating words will not flatter me, knowing their deception. 


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci



Details | Free verse | |

Labor Day

He never made retirement—
palmed sallow watch.

Years bled bloodless,
stooped obliquely
in steel mills.

Mother said
he was tired—
so tired
as he drank
last days in liquid slurs.

The mill closed
after his death—
now both rustle bones,
remember russet dreams
of molten metals
faint as old billboards
whispering what once was
but never was
in rust-washed wind. 


Details | Rhyme | |

We're Greatly Influenced By Society


We’re Greatly Influenced By Our Society We’re greatly influenced by our society. Our culture comes in many types of “varieties.” Often, there is a wicked and sinful force.. As people forget God, and look to another “source.” Too often, many in society have “confused” minds. Evil and perversion come in many different kinds We often read in the news just about every day. Something that another “confused” mind has to say. “Where did this person go wrong?” Is wondered. Another family or person is “torn and plundered.” “If my people humble themselves, and repent of their ways.” “I will heal their land!” This is what God says! Without God as the focus of our life’s attention. We’re sure to go “off course.” Into the wrong direction. “There is a way that seems right.” “But the end is death.” This is a truth of God’s word… Until your last breath! Jesus is the answer to any kind of difficult situation. We desperately need him all across our nation! Only he brings the love and fulfillment we need to obtain. We can find everything we need in HIS precious name! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

She's a Runaway

While on patrol Down by the beach A shadow in the water Just out of my reach It's off a young girl About sixteen years old What would have troubled her For her life to fold We report it in And await the coroners van To unscramble this enigma As to why this all began Down at the morgue Through her belongings we look A bracelet we find And her diary book We check on the computer Under the missing persons file This girl so young Still a juvenile We sit and ponder At her watery stray This girl so young She's a runaway We head back to the patrol car For we have sad news to tell How do you tell her parents For inside me it dwells We knock on the door And her mother appears May we please come in As her smile disappears On the beach front tonight A young girl was found In the shallows by the pier I'm so very sorry, she drowned On the way back to the precinct I'm thinking of home Of my own young daughter Pray-fully, she'll never roam A week has passed Since they laid her to rest They said, look after your daughter I sure will mam, I'll do my best http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-4.php


Details | Rhyme | |

WHEN I WAS GROWING UP

When I was growing up,
The things that I went through,
None pleasant for me,
And wouldn't be for you.
Believe in what I say,
Cause every bit is true.
When I was growing up,
I didn't have a clue.
My parents always yelling,
Moms face was black and blue.
Pushing, pulling back and forth,
I don't know what to do.
Dad turns around and tells me,
It’s all because of you.
When I was growing up,
I always smelled of pine.
Cleaning up forever
The dust, the dirt and grime.
Getting up for school
Way before it's time.
If there was a problem,
I'd pretend that I was fine,
I remember, if I didn't,
The spankings would be mine.
There was no talking ever,
I felt just like a mime.
The punishments I got,
They never fit the crime.
I even got in trouble,
For writing this here rhyme.


Details | Verse | |

Home

It always rains in my hometown, The clouds are kind enough to wash what they can away The town cut out my tongue, It grew back sharper and quicker than the one they stole. I walk by the river, Still blackened by the ones it took, When thoughts fall upon a deaf ear, I begin to whisper. I care little for your Tupperware regime, I care little for your barbecue tyranny, One should always give way to real men. Home, is where the heart is. The fruit, plentiful, It decays in the street, By the grocer, by the police station, By the school that keeps 'em comin'. A species of their own, that Ritalin race. At noon the fog lifts, At two it sets again, I do breakfast at four, It is the most important meal of the day.


Details | Narrative | |

SCARCE HARVEST

War World II was raging over this
southern Italian town* spared by a miracle...
a deluge that suddenly occurred: 
a night of blasting sounds, of rising flames 
as American planes bombarded its buildings;
the Nazis fled to occupied Naples.
In the North, the Fascits were executed,
as the Dictator Mussolini himself was. 


The farms could not be furrowed deep and neat,
fear hung over the farmers' shoulders;
and wheat couldn't grow abundantly to make bread,
and brazen women to a distant granary they went, 
risking their lives to grind the wheat kernels;
they were no young men in town, or the older ones
who had gone to war for a concept so deceptive.
Many youngsters and soldiers were kidnapped by the Nazis, 
to be taken to Germany as prisoners of war...who would have 
challenged the Third Reich, or disobeyed?


Old women with handkerchiefs on their heads, weeping loudly
and mourning the tranquil town it once was...so lovely and happy, 
and their cry was too bitter and inconsolable to be hushed;
now, even bread was taken away from them,
damning the cruel Duce, who had betrayed them for vanity...
why did he bring prosperity to Africa, not to Italy?
Why was his ego so manipulated by Hitler's cleverness...
that he could have conquered peoples and lands?


Ruins and dead kindred...a scenery of dread and abomination,
and the lively memory of begonias on their sunny balconies 
brought a sweet nostalgia in an hour of horror and death;
and gathered among the crumbled walls, their rosaries  
recited with graceful whispers, gave them 
the strength and the courage to desperately grieve:
"Peace, o beloved peace, have you overlooked
the kindness of such humble and honorable spirits?
 

Darkness brought the silence they had sought under the glittering skies,
to hide the ugliness of the war in their gloomy shadows,
never to reveal the devastation of their town;
and with the new sun rising, hope would have been 
renewed in the sunrise's lasting glow.
They would have seen those wheat golden kernels 
bend under their heavy weight and bow.... 
and heard themselves saying," Mercy, o mercy
of our righteous God, let prosperity abound...
as the misty rain slowly comes down!"   

Southern Italian Town:  Baiano

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Free verse | |

He Cured Infection

The hardships of my life
Are like a clump of maggots digging through my skin
They are deep within...
How do I inspect them? Where do I begin
When I am in profound distress and sin?

I’m infected…but yet You healed me from all illnesses
I’m defected…but yet You cleanse me from any blemishes or messes
I’m dejected…but You certainly lift up my spirits
But I’m far from being resurrected…I’m ruefully neglected

Jaded by the nightmares…striking me with discord
Like a released sheep roaming in the plains of fate
How do I encounter with my shepherd?
Are we ever going to integrate?
When I’m a lost, stray animal…trampled down by a frown,
Worn-out by my regret and knowing my demise is my royal crown
I’m infected…but yet You healed me from all diseases
I’m defected…but yet You purified me from any filth or squalidness
I’m dejected…but You certainly lift up my spirits

I’m infected…but yet You healed me from all wretches
I’m defected…but yet You cleanse me from any blemishes or messes
I’m dejected…but You certainly pumped up my heart
But, Lord I’m far from being resurrected…I’m contritely mistreated
I’m infected…but yet You dealt with all of my despair
I’m defected…but yet You cured me with blessings you address
I’m dejected…but You definitely rely on my faith that I kindly share
But I’m aching recklessly…but I’m still in progress!

The tribulations of my life
Are like a cluster of wasps, stinging me with vigor in my shin
They puncture me deep within…
How do I infect their nests? Where do I begin
When I am in profound melancholy and cave in

Tell me, Almighty Lord, why do the demons ensnare me with their curses?
They won’t break the tension…in these godforsaken verses!


Details | Tanka | |

Rock Climbing

My daughter and I Were rock climbing one morning We got up real high I reached the top of the rock And awaited my daughter Something went bad wrong Her rope came completely loose And she was falling I grabbed rope hard and tightly But she was slipping away I started to fall Caught myself nearly the end I heard a small voice Yelling up to me, pleading “Save yourself, just let me go”
And I had to…
Russell Sivey This is a fictitious poem . No events actually took place in my life. Entrant into Lisa Hiatt ~Dark Poetess "Letting go " contest 3/30/2012


Details | I do not know? | |

Next Sunday after luncheon

Each Sunday after luncheon
As long as it’s not cold
My parents have their little walk
Although they’re getting old 

It’s their routine, they’ve done it
Ever since I was a lad
Each Sunday after luncheon
Just me and Mum and Dad

At three o’clock they like to stop
To have a cup of tea
A sticky bun for Dad and Mum
A sticky bun for me

We’ll sit down by the bandstand
To have our little snack
Then when they’re done, my Dad and Mum
Its time drive them back

I drop them off at four o’clock
And see them safely in
I say goodbye Mum starts to cry
“We will do this again?”

I tell them I will call them
And we’ll have a little talk
Then, next Sunday after luncheon
We’ll all go out for our walk

©  John W Fenn  11-04-2009


Details | Ballade | |

Begin

Why does it matter what I do?
What does it matter to you?
Like you care, anyways
Like you ever called me on those lonely days

It doesn't matter if I do well
It doesn't matter if I excel
You wouldn't care
But how could I know since your never there

I remember the last time I saw you
If only you knew
If only you knew how long it's been
If only we knew where to begin


Details | Rhyme | |

Precious Prayer

It hurts to see her sad,
And to think about what they once had,
I wish I could take all her pain away,
Even if it is just for a day,
I wish her tears were that of joy
And not saddness of a boy, 
I say boy because he's no longer a man, 
Even tho he raised me to the one that I am.
I hope things will go back as they were when I was younger, 
And that they both feed their spiritual hunger, 
I dont understand how neither of them see,
That with Jehovah none of this would be.
I guess we all fall down and scrape our knees,
But i pray now please,
Let them both come back to the truth they taught me so well,
And that they get up before the final bell, 
And make it back before the end of this world, 
Because they're both more precious to me then any diamond or pearl.


Details | I do not know? | |

how could u

how could u leave me with just my innocence
how could i was just a baby
how could u forget all about me 
how could u not take me with u
how could u just sit there and help not help me
how could u throw him away i hate u for that
how could u say he dont love me 
how could u let me not have nothing to do with him
how could u leave me with only little memories of u 
i cant stand it i hate u both of u for everything if u would have takein me i could of
avoided all of the crap that has become of my stupid painful life


Details | I do not know? | |

Homocides

I Wake up in the morning hearing gunshots and people screaming I rush
towards my window and see another innocent victim lying on the ground
dead
I look to my right and see another family mourn over a love one they lost
Seeing the whole block glancing at the murder scene
And when I took a look at the body I saw a young man with gunshots
wounds across his body
My eyes started to fill with angry and tears because I’m tire of all these
homicides
Because it got me traumatize seeing too many fratricides and patricides
People need to put the guns down and start loving one another because
things will get a lot better
Young black males are getting killed because they be throwing up the
wrong gang sign or they were at the wrong place at the wrong time
Hanging with their friends at the party having fun
And everything is going well until a disagreement comes along and now
bullets start to spread like a virus killing a lot of innocent ones
Some is crawling for their life to safety while others are calling 911 for
help
And by the time the cops and ambulance arrive the victims are deceased
these young thugs are ending people lives before they can start their lives
Babies are entering the world already seeing cold bodies lying beside them
feeling death before they can pronounce the word
Living in a world full of confusion black men killing their brothers and
sisters like they’re the enemies
While the true enemies hide behind you in the crowd
People are going crazy going on a rampage walking into a theater and
killing millions of people because they are hurt and anger at the world
I’m sick and tire of seeing homicides poor little babies resting in their early
graves didn’t even taste or smell life
Didn’t even reach their full potential of becoming a young man or woman
Didn't have a chance to speak their first words to their mother or father
   
Death is no jokes I hate to see people play with it attempting suicide trying
to kill their self like it want affect others
Sitting in my room just listening to the commotion that’s uprising on the
outside
Hearing gunshots now I’m running outside to see the outcome will a
mother or father be without their daughter or son for the rest of their lives
or will they survive and live on
But when I finally got outside it was another coldblooded murder another
lost soul another mother and father losing their child to a single bullet
through the head
Now its time to get the funeral arrangements and print out obituaries it’s
sad to see the scene of a homicide
I wonder how many more will we have until the people gets the message
that the guns is not the answer to your problem


Details | Ballad | |

The Road Fight

The crowd surrounded the side of the road
Looking at the scene.
An old man shouted on a young lady
He ordered her to keep quiet.
But the lady was very sturbborn.

She pounced on her opponent,
A man, a big man, she bit the man on his biceps
The man showed the arm, with blood, to the old man.
The old man slapped his daughter.
The young lady pushed her old man.

The old man fell in the hands of the crowd.
The big man saw this he then attacked the lady.
The crowd had tried to stop the big man,
But two were deposited on the lady's face.
The lady's eyes had sworn and her lips was blood.

The lady's supporters moved away to call another huge man.
Before the huge man came the lady had off her blouse.
Her bra was exposed as she was ready to die.
When her boyfriend came, he attacked the big man with a green bottle.
It landed on the big man's head unhappily.

Her boyfriend then stabbed the big man in the stomach.
The police came, then the crowd scattered and the police made no arrest.
That was the end.
Because the old man wanted her daughter the big man,
and the lady wanted to marry her own boyfriend.
That was the flesh of the contention.

Nobody in the world knew this.
It was only God, me and the reader.


Details | I do not know? | |

A crack in life

Many times you left me out to dry dangling from a string.
I can't comprehend why you don't control your urge. 
I know every night at midnight you sneak out and splurge.
Before that smokey pipe you were so full of youth.
Now your eyes are grey and bleak,cutting into the cold hard truth.
What's left of you now is hopeless and dim.
Daddy,will you ever find your peace with Him.
It's so baffling when you smoke your crack.
Each time you leave I wonder if your coming back.


Details | Rhyme | |

Here but Not

You're here with me but I feel so alone,
A distance between us I feel has grown.
We only talk to each other when passing by,
I'm trying to find the answer to “Why?”
You spend every minute in the garage,
I see you next to me but you're only a mirage.
You barely spend time with our boys,
They want to play with Daddy, not just their toys!
I hear them ask you to play a game,
You said, “In a minute.” but never came.
I'm doing my best to raise them right,
But they constantly argue and fight.
I have a hard time with them to listen to me,
I need your help, can't you see?!
Weekends are suppose to be our family time,
Instead you find other things to do, like its a crime.
We need you, Daddy, to be in our lives more,
You pushing us aside is making us very soar.
All we want is you around us,
We shouldn't have to beg you or make a fuss.
You have no idea how much we've cried,
When you ignore us and push us to the side.
We're not sure how much longer we can do this,
Just know that it's Daddy we miss!


Details | Cowboy | |

How ????

As I herd cattle in 104 heat,
just to get food to eat...

Rememberin' what it was to be rich,
then all taken by the witch...

A woman so very evil,
like a fat bollwevil...

To let lies eat away lives,
as if to stab by knives...

It's really just not fair,
that she does not love or care...

About my little boys & girl,
& their poor broken world...

GOD knows about my plite,
only He can make it right...

Just want my kids to care,
about the sacrafices I made there...

I LOVE them &  swear,
that in My heart I am always near !!!

                                                             For My Kids, LOVE DAD  PRV


Details | Rhyme | |

Faceless Visions

Stepping out of the darkness
From a somewhat forgotten place
Steps what looks like a man
With everything but a face 
He steps out of a doorway 
Of an old rickety shack 
In torn up bloodstained overalls 
And a cowboy hat
He came off the porch 
In full stride 
I heard him whisper something in tongues 
And spit smoke when he walk by
A breeze of unpleasantness 
Came soon there after 
Followed by a strong smell of sulfur  
And intense laughter 
Then as the figure 
Got further away 
I saw him stop and turn around
And murmur my name
In voice I hadn't heard 
In a very long time 
It triggered a memory from my childhood 
Buried deep with in my mind
A one that id forgotten
And didn't know i had
As it came to me whose it was
It made me sad
Tears came to my eyes
And started to fall 
But turned to smoke 
When I started to ball
Then the door of that rickety shack
Flung wide open 
And i could see a bright black glow
Of a fire that was heavily smoking
And 2 glowing chains  
At lighting speed 
Grazed my face 
As it flew by me
They went threw the figure
And snatched him back 
Back into the fire
Of that rickety shack

    I don't know if that was the end of 
that dream or not I'll find out tonight. 
And just since your probably wondering who 
or what that figure is or who I think it is 
from the voice I heard I truly believe it is
my father who committed suicide when I was 10


Details | I do not know? | |

December Resembles Death

Breathlessly
Aimlessly
Startled in fact
Still frightened by the sudden impact
Recent studies have shown there was no way he could've survived
On that cold December day 
She watched her Daddy die


Details | I do not know? | |

Baby Momma

Yes I am a baby momma and damn proud of it. 
My baby's father is a piece of ish. 
If you can't help me raise our child, 
it's on you because you miss out. 
I won't cause you no drama, 
coming to your house breaking windows and stuff. 
I'm too much of a woman to start that kind a stuff. 
You come to my house 2 & 3 in the morning wanting to see your son, thinking 
you gonna get some butt. 
No, baby I don't think so. 
I won't let you treat me like some scrub. 

I am a baby momma hear me roar. 
I take care of mines on my own. 
I don't need nobody's help when it comes to me and my son. 
My baby's daddy don't want nothing to with his son until he wanna impress some 
gold digga. 
I ain't gonna let you use my son as no chick magnet 
It ain't gonna happen. 
When I was pregnant you was so happy. 
Then when our son was born you headed for the door. 
When you walked out on me, you walked out on your son. 
You run around telling people that he ain't your son, you ain't got no kids. 
Your momma say my son look just like your big head. 
She even took a DNA test to prove it, 
since you ain't believe me. 
When I got with you I was virgin & I finally let it go & gave it to you. 
Giving you me I recieved a gift, that gift is our son who you deny. 
You only seen him one time. 
If you don't wanna be there for him, I'll take both roles of being his mother & 
father. 
I can't promise I'll do a good job as being a good father but I'm a damn good 
mother! 
I'll be a better father than you'd ever be. 
I'm a baby momma & damn proud of it. 


Details | Rhyme | |

DARKNESS

My
dad
passed 
away on
February
15, 2006.  
The funeral
was on February
21, 2006.  My brother
had to move out of the
house.  He lived with my
dad.  He had to be out of 
the house by June 10, 2006.
We went to see him and my
mom eight days later.  My brother
decided NOT to give me his new phone
number or address.  My mom is in the hospital
for the rest of her life.  She is unable to stand on
her two feet.  We visited her and she was somewhat
distant.  I left California so DISAPPOINTED and sad!
I'm grieving the loss of my dad.  I feel like my brother
DISOWNS me and doesn't care about my husband and
our three children.  My heart is broken and I feel like I'm in
a very DARK CORNER.


©  Kathy Mary Gillet
©  July 25, 2006  All Rights Reserved


Details | Rhyme | |

before the war

little boy sittin at home
good little boy said his prayers all alone
just before he said amen
he thought to ask his question again
when is daddy commin home?
when is daddy commin home? amen
nobody, put him on their shoulder's anymore
he used to climb on daddies back
when he had'em on the floor
everything that daddies did
his daddy did and more
just to play with the son
he verily did adore
in his heart the little boy grew
the vicious fact that he could not ignore
that a home without a daddy
is the home of the poor
why can't God just end all wars
why can't daddies talk with other daddies
and try to end this war
why can't daddies come home 
and be what they was before
why can't daddies be what they
was before the war


Details | Concrete | |

Elegy

Somewhere a poem
is waiting for me
to write it in the jewelry box,
coiled into an old ring
or stopping the hands
of a watch;
in the vanishing barn risen
to the top of the pail
to be skimmed off;
or in the tree outside
engraving in green ink
on the other side of a leaf.
In my old room
the white curtains blow 
like ghosts of themselves
  over the sill;
under the bed misplaced words gather
to grab my helpless ankle
          it is a poem
the Child I was hides
in the ear of the woman
I have become a poem
who's lines were the lines
          of my fathers' face.


Details | Free verse | |

Family Tree

Our family tree will never stop growing…our faith and comfort will never crumble
Love grows here…so have no fear—God is near
My family, though packed up with pride and low self-esteem, still appears humble
Mirth produces joy and our hope gives birth to cheer

God is our Father; who could play this role as skillfully? Who, other than God, created the world so genuinely?
Love comes from He…so scare away the anxiety—God will grant us ecstasy
My family, though packed up with hope and despair, cherishes my soul with glee
Rebirth and life comes from He and our faith should draw near to thee

"i love you sweet boy..we will have fun this summer and be a close and godly family..nighty nit my light"
This summer, I am positive that we will be a close and godly family
But we must be lights of the world…and we must be willing to finish that race of hardships to earn His dignity
By all means, we will have an enjoyable break without paying a fee
But we must be God’s faithful followers…and we must be prepared to follow our Shepherd who is the key

Of never-ending faith and comfort, nourishing us abundantly
He still exists…He unravels the insanity
Of this world and set us free from blasphemy
Watching over us with pure vitality

Give us Your water
Don’t leave us in the gutter
Listen to the words we mutter

I pray that our family tree will look up to you devotedly


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled

I came home from school
excited about my day.
My smile disappears
as I see you in the doorway.
your once light skin
now black and blue.
Oh, mommy, what happened to you?
I go into my room
and put my backpack down.
Then daddy comes in
wearing a frown.
I didn't do anything wrong
why are you yelling at me?
Oh how I love you
that's why I don't flee.
i don't understand why
you do the things you do
but every time you hit mommy
your hurting me too.
After your done
releasing your frustration
you leave mommy on the floor
crying in desperation.
With me tucked in a corner
My hands over my ears
trying to block out
what I've been hearing for years.
For the next few years
mommy has to stay inside
but I'm older now
and i no longer want to hide.
But it is inevitable
I'm afraid of what people might do
if they knew the truth.
Daddy, I don't want to lose you.
But why do i feel
like it's too late
like I've already lost
the battle with fate.
I love you Daddy
but I've had enough
Even though it's hard for me
i have to be though.
So pack your bags
And leave your keys
i can't let you hurt us anymore
So just leave us, please.


Details | Blank verse | |

Take Away The Pain

I still remember the nights 
Three year back 
When you beat her... 
And left me father-less. 

I hate what you did, 
but I can't stay mad for long. 
It's not good to hold grudges 
I guess I have to move on. 

But I will never forget 
How selfish you were 
To leave us 
Abandoned. 

Forgiving you is hard. 
Harder than some think. 
To say it is one thing... but to do it... 
Is harder. 

One day I'll find it in my heart, 
To forgive you, 
But will it be now? 
I know not. 

The pain left in my heart, 
The hope of finding a new father, 
Was lost, 
When you decided to "use your rights". 

The only reason I went 
To your "house" 
Was because you brainwashed me 
To believe that you were the good guy. 

But when I found out you were not the good guy 
And that I had a choice on whether to go or not, 
Do you think I would go, 
After what you've done? 

Being brainwashed for 2 years is... 
Too long... 
Especially when pain abides 
In your heart. 

You had me being optimistic, 
Hoping for some outcome of your goodness, 
But that optimism soon faded away 
When the pain got stronger. 

The day whe I forgive you 
Will be the day 
That the pain 
Goes away.  


Details | Alliteration | |

this baby

this baby that is born on christmas day
why is he here
why did he live
this baby was born to take our sins
yet we feast and party christmas
we don't bless this child 
we don't care that he is born
we don't care that he died on the cross
we don't understand what he was for
this baby born on christmas day


Details | Elegy | |

Daddy, I Miss You

Daddy, I miss you,
Where did you go?
I have some questions to ask you,
But I guess I'll never know.

I won't ask mommy,
because speaking of you brings her tears.
Even though you've been gone,
for almost thirteen years.

I wondered why you hung yourself,
Why did you let go?
But because you're so far away,
those answers I'll never know.

I wish that I could bring you back,
and be with you once more.
I would love you more than anyone else,
Of that, I am sure.

Daddy, I hope you're listening,
as I am talking to you today.
Just remember I'll always miss you,
and wish you wouldn't have went away.


Details | Bio | |

Another Day of Abuse

It’s a quarter after seven, a cloud of silence immerse,
Six frightened souls, the situation a constant curse.
The candle burns dim, it’s almost out,
Dinner was scarce, not enough to go around.

The kids are edgy; the mother’s heart rapidly beats,
They hear his anger in a distance, way up the street.
The swearing gets louder; they can almost feel the pain,
“All jerseys on “mom says,” again we sleep in the rain”.

In through the gate, the stairs he doesn’t see,
Falls to the ground and curses, for bruising his knee.
Kicks the poor dog on his way into the house, 
Punches the door open and throws himself on the couch.

 Calls for his trembling wife, the mother of his children,
Just to punch her in her face, to let her know of his presence.
He shouts for his kids and tells them he hates them,
But it’s nothing new, as they’ve heard it all being mentioned.

He’s meal is served the last glass dish around,
He flings it onto the floor, a thousand pieces on the ground.
“I want food,” he screams, but that was the last,
“Eat off the floor,” was his wife’s suggested blast.

A million stars was then what she saw,
As he played football with her head against the wall.
Her screams died slowly after the third bounce,
No heart he had, not a shred, not an ounce.

The children run for help to the neighbors they implore,
They slam the door on their little faces, their plight to ignore.
With no one else in sight, their fate they do not know,
No brave soul to help, their hearts all sank low.

Six frightened faces, all abused and torn,
The eldest just ten, with the youngest just been born.
In darkness they stand, the rain steady and cold,
Where quietly they wait for events to unfold.

A thin lanky passerby called the police by chance,
When he saw that evil man, he knew at a glance.
Something had happened, danger was imminent,
No more screaming was heard, damage was evident.
An ambulance came hurriedly with loud sirens blasting,
While the evil man being shoved in the police van swearing.
The unconscious wife bleeding profusely from her head,
To the hospital they take her, where she lay almost dead.

Six little children, scared, cold and tired,
Enter their home slowly, that’s dark and quiet.
They sweep up the glass pieces and scoop up the food,
And take care of each other, cause’ it’s just another day of Abuse.


Details | Verse | |

Father

Father, Listen, Did life not turm put as you had planned? The grass not greener, Your rivers dammed? How was it, that you wound up here? Moved by hate, Consumed in fear. Father, Listen, As I go grey, I wonder will I die this way? A life of waste, To dwell on rage, You won't find peace, at your old age! Father, Listen, I feared you as a child, Your unkind temper, It made me wild, I know my Mother is hard to please, This sad existence, Now my disease. Father, Listen, For just once to me, The apple, It does, Fall close to tree, I dead the things that I have learnt, My wells now dry, My bridges, Burnt. Father, Listen, Just come and see, Just how much I am like thee, I think I'll rest, Just for a while, For just one more hour, In denial


Details | Rhyme | |

MY DAD'S MISTRESS

Loveliness and grace
were the improper virtues
of a deceitful woman,
who would constantly use
them to seduce a married man...
that was my dad's mistress.


The holiest of women,
bearing through silence
much undeserved pain;
and love her children 
she did without visible signs...
unable to toss the destiny's dice.


Dad's heart was defiled by lust,
and still expected mother's trust,
once he slapped me hard
for my rebellious attitude...
he knew his child suspected cheating,
when, most nights, he saw him fleeing. 


Cuddled in a blanket on the marble floor
shivering not with cold, but with fear,
I waited for dad when everybody was asleep;
inside that big house I didn't feel secure,
it was a prince's castle hunted by ghosts...
and they attempted to grab me by their arms.
 

And because I resembled daddy a lot:
confident, virile, strong with the looks of a charmer;
I feared I would have become him and cared less,
without self-affection, sharing a wife and a lover...
and to stop the cycle, I would have kept my sexiness intact,
even thinking of joining the priesthood to avenge my dad's mistress. 


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Rhyme | |

No Color or Relgion, Ever Stopped a Bullet from a Gun

I heard on the news
Another two are lost
That makes 206
Is there, a whatever the cost
 
We are there to assist
A country so reft
Inner fighting
To help the rest of the left
 
Guerrilla warfare
Tactically strong
Thousands of miles
Where we don't belong
 
The people we vote in
Would they go in their place
To show their people
Dying is no disgrace
 
I will never allow
My children to fight
A war so improper
A conflict not right
 
To show our presence
As we parade their land
A remote explosion
Blown up on demand
 
How can we serve
A regime so unfair
They can starve their women
Because he can't have her there
 
To fight for their freedom
As they fight themselves
The decision should be made
To save ourselves
 
The Russians failed
So now we try
Coalition troops
In daily die
 
The modern wars
Will always be run
No color or religion
Ever stopped a bullet from a gun



http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war.php


Details | Rhyme | |

Generations of Valor


          They stand together
          Soldiers young and old
          As we sit down beside them
          Their stories unfold

Tell me son
What happened to you
Please take your time
I wish to hear you through

    I was out on patrol
    Looking for improvised devices
    Their made of plastic now
    For modern sacrifices

    But this one was different
    It was set on remote
    Triggered at distance
    As the enemy gloat

    Catapulted, bleeding
    As i land on the sand
    My face lacerated
    As are my hands

    My left hand has gone
    As are my eyes
    My emotions are drained
    I can no longer cry

    I am flown home
    To Edwards Air Base
    Not the way i left
    A new tomorrow i face

My brave young son
I shall cry for you
Yes tomorrow is new
But we will see it through

    As he wipes his tears
    His son says to his father
    Tell me your story again
    So my thoughts again gather

Well it was so long ago
And although i am old
The horrors of wars
Should always be told

It was the 6th of June
1944
The day the war had turned
And what we fought for

I was one of thousands
As we hit the beaches
Under heavy fire
Bodies bleeding, bodies bleached

After being pinned down for hours
We finally made a breakthrough
Their lines broken
Our determination pursued

Our objective, Bayeux
To cut off the road to Caen
Re-assemble and group
As we mean to go on

We were on the outskirts
As a 109E attacked
My platoon was strafed
As its bullets impact

I was hit three times
In my legs and chest
Shipped back home
Asking why i was blessed

After the war
In the Army i stayed
As an injury councillor
For other wars have been played

          Father and son stood together
          Hugged for tomorrow
          Yes, there will be more wars
          And what they bring is sorrow




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-6.php


Details | Free verse | |

What Shall He Be Called, the Bastard Who Innocently Lies Wit



Not every woman’s dream 
 	of procreation 

can be fulfilled;

not every woman dreams
	of procreation, 

her body thrilled.

But loved and lovers’ inclinations – 
	recreation
not 	re-creation – 
cannot, will not be stilled.

until

one day

intervention
bypassed her – 

she –  unplanned –  filled
her womb with him – 

left herself swelled, ahh – 
	SWOLLEN
swooned with him
inside her womb within

where unnamed seed
became
a named existence: But what?
	CHARLES WALLACE
	for example
from L’Engle’s Wrinkle?
	DAVID for a King
or Copper field?
	JOHN for having been begotten
DON, but not forgotten?
	BILL, for Will that Shakespeare geek?
or anything from A      to        ZEKE?

AHHH, “But what’s in a name,”
said Juliet to her Romeo, 
as they wooed before they wed, 
then lived too fast, a mortal blow
by Fate, so Willy said.

But HE and SHE should have a say,
together name the child
meaningful – not wild –
a name for life
from birth through final day.

SHE lay alone by night
		and more alone by day
			since “Daddy” went away;
		she wouldn’t play
his childish show of might

as in: Stay?  I might!
Pregnant?
Good Night!

He left with stormy words
and even louder silence
whose echoes shake the very walls
within where 
whatever-his-name-will-be
is growing
no one knowing
what to call him yet.
No names are set.

Twelve weeks are gone
		somewhere
and Baby what’s-his-name
still asking (in his silent way)
“What’s my name, Mommy?
Don’t you have a clue?
  I need a name, my Mommy, dear.
It’s up to me and you 
since Daddy’s gone, I hear,”

	She  heard his voice 
through pumping 
of his little heart
with hers
offering his private choice
a conversation of love
two ways instead of three,
the father gone 
and he inside, said she.

The trochee beat, TRO chee, TRO chee
kept repeating
kept repeating
kept repeating
till the trochee names appeared
by all the saints with Michael in the lead,
her father smiling, his name upon her seed.

Today she lies contemplative
no heartbeat more than hers – inside – 
no breath than hers to breathe the same – 
not since the night the child died
before the coming of the morn – 
the dawn of day he should be born – 
and none on whom to cast the blame.

A quiet muse just pens the words
the rhythm of the tone that girds
the spirit of sweet Michael’s name.
In life or death he is the same:
before he lived, his life was done
though lives he still, her darling son,
for evermore in memory
in poetry eternally.


Details | Free verse | |

life as a flea market.

everything has a price.
you like that vase?
for you, $10.
the lamp over there?
you have a good eye, lets work through some numbers.
a daughters heart?
talk to her father,
he'll give you a good price
on damaged merchandise.


Details | Elegy | |

Goodbye Daddy

The hours spent waiting
are over, the hardest
part still yet to come.
Calls are made,
tears flow freely as they
come to take him away.
Your knees go weak,
you feel arms catch you
as you hear your baby sister's
voice saying the words
you can't bring yourself
to say:
Goodbye Daddy.


Details | I do not know? | |

Nothing

I just keep falling through
Cracks that tears pour through

And I can't remember how to be
Cause it's your face I can't stand to see
Trapped in my thoughts
Hopeless
Just Fighting to Breathe
No one can save me

There's nothing to do
There's no where to hide
Just hope that you don't kill you
No one says a word when I confide
My house is a stranger to me
No one to talk to
Nothing to do
Just cry until I die
Cause there's nothing left to try

You want the ultimate seal of the deal
For it to be over
And that I understand
You wanted to be a better man
You're ashamed of your life
You feel like you've failed me
But please let go of the knife

It's the longest night
Nothing's right
Nothing to do
My hand's gone cold
I'm numb with fright
Please don't you ever touch that knife

My soul is poisoned
It rots out of my eyes
Pain I can't disguise
Trapped in the suffering of my mind
I try to push my hurt aside
Avoiding you, it's all I can do
I'm sorry
I really do care
Can't bear to face you
Dad, it's your secret
I try to pretend I don't know





Details | Rhyme | |

Rwanda Wrongs

In 1957, there existed a plan
To rid Rwanda of the Tutsi clan
Power they had, too much for one side
The foundation for, future Genocide
 
1960, the monarchy was gone
Will both sides sing the same song
Sadly not as the persecutions start
Ripping this African country apart
 
1973, under a new regime
Juvénal Habyarimana promised restrain
Progress and reconciliation proposed to be
For this country to unite, finally
 
1994, Habyarimana gunned down
His assassination, country drowns
This killing of him, the carnage starts
Population half, ripped apart
 
The killings horrific, no one spared
Machete slain, heads caved
Hacking, be-headings as families fall
As CNN tune in, the world appalled
 
The continuance, of the slaughtered tribes
Men, women and children you can't describe
Women raped, and the unborn slain
This horrific act of human pain
 
Most of the fallen, in their own villages dead
By another clan, they thought were friends
Indescribable to the world as our televisions show
The massacre of innocents, as we watch blow by blow
 
Where does it all end, can we try the same songs
How many more of these Rwanda wrongs
It appears to be a human trait
To kill each other for the sake of it


Details | I do not know? | |

E-Mail To Daddy

Hello Daddy.....
Yes..... it's your little girl.
It's so hard..... to say these things,
So I thought..... I'd send this e-mail.

If I ran away from home..... would you care?
If I used drugs..... would you be there?
My life went to hell..... when Mom died.
You said you'd be there..... but you lied.

I feel like a homeless child..... on the street.
Why do i have to beg..... at your feet?
You're my Daddy..... and I do need you.
I thought..... that you needed me too.

So daddy..... could you spend some time with me?
Your new girlfriend..... just doesn't see.
That your little girl..... is hurting deep inside.
She is nice..... and yes Daddy I tried.

But Daddy..... I hunger for your love.
And the pressure of all my friends..... is so hard
They steal..... and do lots of drugs.
And i'm afraid i'll do them tomorrow..... in the schoolyard.

Daddy it's hard to tell you things..... I could tell Mom.
But I was raped..... by your friend Don.
He said to never tell you..... but I'm not ready.
Daddy..... I'm going to have his baby.

Oh, Daddy..... I hope you know what to do.
Because..... I really do love you

Your Little Girl



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote this about neglect and abuse.


Details | I do not know? | |

heart demolition

i felt my life come tumbling down.
like a bride without a wedding gown.
just like the day you left me.
clowns come out to play.

i felt the walls of my mind drop down slowly.
features on my face turning to a frown.
just like the day,my son hurt himself.
clowns come out to play.

i felt the cement crumbling down.
my life turned upside down and around.
just like the day,rachel lost her innocence.
clowns come out to play.

i felt the mortar sprinkle down.
my emotions drop to the ground.
just like the day,penny went her way.
clowns come out to play.

i felt the foundations banging down.
my heart lay wounded on the ground.
just like the day, my father died.
clowns come out to play.

i felt the site rebuilt being settled down.
to create a building up again.
just like the day you all said you love me.
will clowns come out to play.


Details | Free verse | |

A Memory

Something gnaws inside.
A memory, a moment, and
a space of time held
within electrical impulses
now jolting inside of my mind.
The eye sees what is no longer there,
the ear hears an echo of past sounds,
the skin tingles with forgotten touch,
the lips taste someone else on them, 
and the nose burns with the scent.
Heart beat quickens.
Bitten with anger and fear
that belonged to a five year old girl,
who was she?
An overload is building up inside,
on the brink of breaking out.
Stress turns to panic
the air leaves the lungs;
you can't catch it now.
Nails dig into flesh
voices dim and expand
eyes clench close
the brain throbs, sparking.
Teeth bite flesh, red exposed.
Can't let it break.
Inside the image, a vase falling
catch that, don't let it fall,
put it back! Hurry!
It falls faster.
She overheats, colors swirl
walls dance.
Eyes see only him
skin feels only him
ears hear only him
lips taste only him
nose smells only him.
A hand catches the vase
a moment before impact
eyes open.
A tear falls from the cheek
and shatters
to the ground.


Details | I do not know? | |

Confusion Death

I'll go about my day languidly. for is there really anything to live for?
  I'll go about my day, because I am forced to. Why me? Everyday is a mistake 
waiting to happen.  I hide from the day, because that is when he comes home.

I am worthless, not worth the money. If it were up to him, I'd be gone.
 I am hopeless, I am faithless,  oh why can't this all just go away.

He came home at 4, by then I'll already be hiding under my bed.
Footsteps approaching, I pass out from fear.
I wake up to screaming, only to find my mother on the floor, drowning in a pool of 
my father's long lost love.

Is it my turn, my turn to fly.  Will it be a bat, or a belt this time? Why live on in fear, 
let's just take it away. Life is so short, so why would I want to end it?
My answer is to escape the fear, to escape life, to escape the one man whom I've 
always had respect for, my father.

Father can't you see? You're hurting me, do you get your joy from my pain!?  With 
this, I say my goodbye to you.  My own life, taken down by the one person whom 
I've never trusted, myself.....


Details | Verse | |

The Daughter

Today I lived my life with ghosts
Both living and dead
Your face, their face
Slipped through my fingers and fell to the floor
Hundreds of pictures of you and them
Hundreds of moments and moments and moments
Too numerous and caught in that web of time
Dangled on a cobweb so thin, so fine
It could break but does not snap
And lasts and lasts
And holds and holds
All there, suspended in that instant
Before falling to the floor,
Or in the box of memories. To be kept.

So where do you reside, in the bin or the box?
Where do you live for future’s worth?
Will you be cut adrift or salvaged in those stepping stones to the past.

And yet, she still picked up those photos of you 
Pained and dulled
Still confused and stabbed by what has happened over time.
She saw your face and paused. Reflected.
She then gently collected up those images of you and me
And saved them in the box
One day for all to see in times to come.
She decided not to put you in the bin.
Unlike me.

She rescued her childhood.
Put down a marker in the sand
And said stop to the sea
To the waves and waves
That break over time and pain
Saved you from the blankless pile of Venice and Florence
And Christmas and beaches and Barbies and laughter
And with a simple dignity 
She gave you back some worth.




Details | Lyric | |

The Day The Angels Came

I see her image sitting over there, all alone
Streaming tears running down her cheeks, on her face
Her soft little whimpering voice, a babies tone
I remember when she said c'mon daddy, let's have a race
It was her first time that she played, in the yard outside
I still recall her great big smile, on her tiny face
And the tears that ran down her cheek, when she cried
Because she tore her brand new dress, with the pink lace

She always was my little Angel, my only child
But I still cry when I remember, how mommy died giving birth
But those pains somehow went away, when my baby smiled
Oh how it was so cute that day, she caught a fish
It was only three inches long, but to her it was just something sticky
And how she loved taking flowers, to her Mommy's grave
She always made me smile and laugh, when she said daddy
Mommy's stone needs some paint, that it's old and gray

Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came
And how they took my baby girl, along home with them
Oh how the stars did shine that night, up in the sky
And how the day was dark, when we buried her
Now all I have are memories, of her smiling face
In the photograph hanging on the wall, and beside my bed
Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came
And when they took my baby girl, home with them

My heart did break that dreadful day, by a truck
As she ran out to get her ball, into the street
And when I picked her up she hugged my neck, where she was struck
I held her so tight to me, rapped in a sheet
She said daddy it'll be o.k., as I wiped blood from her feet
She said mommy says we'll be waiting, with God in heaven
I'll never forget how my heart was broke, there in the street
That day I lost my pride and joy, to some drunken men

Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came
And how they took my baby girl, along home with them
Oh how the stars did shine that night, up in the sky
And how the day was dark, when we buried her
Now all I have are memories, of her smiling face
In the photograph hanging on the wall, and beside my bed
Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came
And when they took my baby girl, home with them

Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came
And how they took my baby girl, along home with them
Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came
And when they took my baby girl, home with them

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Is a sad song, Not a true story


Details | Rhyme | |

secrets

i may not be a mahammod ali but my words will float like a butterfly and sting like 
a bee
now there was this baby girl who was so unaware and didnt understand why 
daddy used to run his fingers through her hair and lay next to her while tuggin at 
her underwear See mommy never knew what was going on because sixteen 
hours out of a twenty four day mommy was gone and know it is two days before 
her daughters tenth birthday baby girl is dreedin it like its about to be her worse 
day daddy touchin her in inapproriate places was the first phase suddenly her 
mother realizing her daughter is always in a daze
happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear alexis happy 
birthday to you
as i close my eyes and begin to make my wish
dear lord please dont let daddy ask me for another kiss
visions of the past came into my mind daddy touching me down there until my 
vagina bleeds puttin his body parts on mine tellin me its okay no daddy! it is not 
okay you have made me into the monster that stands before you today good night 
alexis i hope you enjoyed yo birthday her mother calls i have to go to work i will 
see you tomorrow be good for daddy i love you good bye no mommy please dont 
leave me here aline alexis began to cry. whats wrong baby girl are you having a 
bad day no mommy scary and bad things happen to me when you go away her 
mother chuckled and gave her a kiss on her forhead goodbye and left her 
daughter in the care of her husband as a tear fell from her daughters eye as the 
front door closes the bathroom door opens and there in her doorway appears a 
figure not a father figure but a figure of her father with a grin on his face and his 
dick in his hand telling his only baby girl his is going to make her a real wo-man! 
but daddy its my birthday and im--im ready to go to bed hush your mouth baby girl 
and give daddy some head well you know how that story go 
six years later cant even walk the halls of her high school without being called a 
hoe. people look at her but people dont see her people hear her but people dont 
listen to her well listen to this she is not a garden tool you cannot used her and 
abuse her like some kind of fool.
then throw her in the corner when you are done and expect to pull her out again 
when your ready to have fun 
the moral of this story is to stop look and listen but her mother never did that 
now she must stop look and position flowers on her daughters grave because 
yesterday ladys and gentlemen alexis died of AIDS


Details | Rhyme | |

Daddy, Daddy

Daddy just try and pretend you care,
Daddy, where are you? I need you, I'm scared.
Daddy, please save me from these demons inside
The ones that are destroying me and eating me alive.
Daddy, do you love me? I can't see it in your eyes.
Daddy, I need you when all I want is to die.
Daddy, all I want is for you to hug me and say it's okay,
Daddy I know that's something you'll never say,
because Daddy, I'm not perfect but all I can do
Is try not to be a failure, just good enough for you.


Details | Free verse | |

Daddy's Little Girl

Always turning the tables
Making me the bad guy.
I treat you badly?
Look how you treat me!
Look at how you treat her!
Choosing sides, picking favorites.
You say you don't
But look at all the attention you give--
The attention I never get.
I'm not jealous---I don't want it.
I just want to be treated fairly.

She sucks up to you,
Making it seem as if she does nothing wrong.
But you don't see the other side--
What she does when you're not looking.
You don't know.
And if you did know,
You'd be sorry,
Sorry you didn't listen,
Sorry that you didn't believe
That to her this is all a game...
And you're losing.


Details | Lyric | |

You Did Not Go Alone

Although you died one cold dreary night...
On a lonely road...
Not too far from your home....
You did not go alone.

Although your life..... And the way you believed....
Very few people understood....
But I for one knew you....So...
You did not make your last journey all alone.

The peace-maker you were, will forever hold it's memory ....
In my heart...to forgive thy fellow neighbor...
To you... this was our earthly part.

A part of me died with you..
As you left this earthly place...
But I know a smile awaited you...
As you parted those pearly gates.

Daddy...I will always love and miss you...
Though a delayed reaction I had to your death...
But...I guess it's God way of sheltering us....
Through things we cannot accept.

Now....I pray you rest in peace....
It's been two years that you have been gone...
Your family, friends, and loved ones....
One day will join you at  the right hand....
Of  our Creator's Throne.

        As I have said....A part of me.....
         Went with you....
         You did not leave all alone.
                       Your loving Daughter,


Details | Free verse | |

Merry Christmas, Dad

Merry Christmas, Dad
     by Amy Swanson   


Dad,

    I always think of you
           every day...
              but holidays like this

can make it a little harder.

I hear the Christmas songs of cheer
     see the lights up in the square
           the busy murmurs of people
               shopping for their loved ones...

It seems almost perfect.

The tree, the lights,
      the gifts,
          the songs and plays
              joyful vacation days;

but something's missing.

The voice that rang throughout the house
      Christmas season
            singing triumphantly, beautifullly
                  "O Holy Night"

I still can't listen to that song
    without hearing
         your strong voice
               in my ears.

The hands that wiped my tears,
     wrapped my Christmas presents
           made his special "banana pudding recipe"
                left me letters from Santa.

Oh dad... how I miss you.

I know they say time heals
      and life goes on
          and all those other wonderful cliches
                 that people always tell you

simply because they don't know what else to say.


I will never forget you - my hero, my protector.

I speak of you often
    to my own little girl
         want her to know
              the grandpa she can't meet yet...

the grandpa who would love her so.

Dad, you are always in our hearts and minds,
     I never got to say thank you...
         for everything.
              for helping me to be

the woman I am today.

I look at my reflection in the mirror - I can also see you.
   I sing my songs - and I can also hear you.
       I laugh... and sometimes I can hear your laughter too.
           My daughter smiles at me... and you are in her smile.

I wish that you could know how much
     you've always meant to me
         and all the things that you have done
              to shape my life, so positively...

But all that I can say,
        is this:

Merry Christmas, Dad.

I love you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Abuse of an Child

A little lonely child stayed to himself all the time.
He never smiled, not even a grin.
Gossip around town, is that he’s an abused kid.

The child’s parents got divorced.
The father got custody of the child.

The father started drinking booze.
The source of that led to, a slap here, and a hit there.
The father also called his mother a whore.
Screams could be heard, but was ignored.

The people at town talked how the father was worthless,
and a good-for-nothing slime ball, but they still refused
to admit or accuse the father of crime.

He was a well know hard working man. Just because him being
that didn’t mean they should let the abuse of the child go. 

The kid was a good smart child. He always did his chores.
In school he was a straight A student.

The child was carrying many bruises that would make a
grown man cry.

On that very day an angel appeared giving news to the child.
That he didn’t have to be scared or alone anymore. I’m your
guardian angel. I will protect you not only at good times, but 
bad times too.

The child smiled, and said, Thank You God, for the guardian angel
you sent to me.

The child laid there covered in blood. Looking up at his guardian
angel.

The angel said fear not don’t you hear sirens are coming, help will
soon be here.

Then a tear rolled down the child’s face.

The child’s father fought the law, but this time he lost.

The child’s in a good home now. He’s starting a new life. He’ll never 
have to endure abuse or booze anymore.















Details | Rhyme | |

His Gift of Love

I have a very special gift.
One you may long to see.
From the Christ who died so long ago 
for the souls of you and me.

He didn’t have to do it.
No wonder that we cried,
To know ‘twas for our sins 
Dear Jesus that day died.

As he dragged His cross up to that hill,
knowing all the while
the price he’d pay was for our bill
He somehow trudged that mile.

A crown of thorns upon His head;
nails driven in His hands and feet.
All the wounds oh, how they bled.
What torture He should meet.

Hanging there upon that tree
while we looked on in shame.
Dying there to set us free
He never placed the blame.

Knowing it was He alone 
who could save us from our fates,
He looked upward to the throne
far beyond Heaven’s pearly gates.

For our mercy He was pleading.
The pain was oh so grand.
For us He hung their bleeding.
Reaching for His Father’s hand.







The Heaven’s began to thunder
as the sky went black.
There we watched in wonder
as the Father turned His back.

Upon His Son he could not look
as our sins to Him were cast.
Each was stricken from the Book 
our debts were paid at last.

Had not He come upon that day
and died to set us free;
what a price we would pay
for all eternity. 

The gift that He has given,
meant for each of us to share,
is a home up in Heaven.
He’s waiting for you there

All your sins now pardoned.
Making the path to Him so clear.
Please let not your hearts be hardened,
by the evils oh so near

The time has come to stake your claim.
No longer should you wait.
For you’d have only you to blame
if turned from Heaven’s Gate


Details | Free verse | |

To Bury My Father~

What is so difficult about empathy?
Why do you not understand that awareness is the only way into that?
How can you love and yet not love at all?
The things you have done have given pain, suffering, grief, mourning.
Why would you not acknowledge this?
You break my heart.
Why do you do this?
You trouble me, you always have.
You made me lie, when I didn't want to.
You fooled me, you hurt Mom. 
You cursed your Mother, your own Mother, a terrible loyalty disease. Ravaged her.
You made me scared, when you should not have.
I needed your warm, bristly face against mine, more splendid than sunshine.
I needed to feel your hands loving me, not fondling me.
I felt tormented, some days you still cut me so deep.
I had to choose. I chose.
You had to fall, my need for you had to die.
I have buried you in me. Dug myself open, filled the air with the smell of my open 
body..roses, jasmine, blood, innocence, tears, salt.
Put you in a black coffin. Tucked your dead body inside of my raw and bleeding soul. 
Threw the earth over you. That's where you are Daddy, forever.


Details | Quatrain | |

AN EVENING PRAYER OF REPENTANCE

Getting off the bus along Hillside Avenue,
I heard a loud commotion coming from a speaker;
and getting closer, I saw the face of a sweaty preacher... 
calling all souls to Jesus and make them new.



I looked and paused and saw this preacher with sweat on his face...
as he was telling the crowd a true story of The Godfather's son, who was
in the dark about his father's activities, and when he was finally told,
he didn't care if he died;  and to the authorities he went to report his dad.    



What a righteous young man he must have been, and how noble
it was to reveal that well-kept secret which would have cost his precious life,
giving up a chance at being powerful and not dedicating himself to a lifetime of crime; 
I can visualize him bowing his head down, and pray to stop the vicious cycle.



I sat next to an elderly lady whose who's veiled head shone through a gentle light,
" Sing along with me, and your lost soul will be reedemed by the blood of Jesus!" 
I shared her song book and began singing an evening prayer of repentance,
as the preacher cried out, " Raise your hand, and I will pray for you tonight!"



How many folks, like me, wanted to see that preacher proclaim the Lord's message;
and how lucky I was to have encountered a stranger who sounded like Jesus,
to add another sheep to his herd as he prayed for the sins of the repentant ones!
How glorious it was to hear him glorify Christ and His father with his voice of grace!  


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Burlesque | |

MACHISMO

Does machismo make a real man
with its excessive ego of superiority?
If it is considered the vital part of masculinity,
how come disregard, vulgarity and obscenity are
highly valued by anyone encouraging this character;
I've known such individuals whose breath
had the stench of alcohol and narcotic...
I was disgusted by such behavior and it made me vomit.  


Faithless dudes spend a night in the bar, then go home staggering
to their wives and children...abusing them with vulgar words, screaming,
beating them up and then faint on the neatest bed;
half-men with nugatory affection treat them kindly,
you have promised to love them unconditionally,
why do you break that vow recited before God and Man? 
The morning after, your machismo loses its equilibrium... 
over the beast you had become, to fill you with delirium.


Machismo is a misconception of what men should be;
machismo evokes dark thoughts of all the evil-minded ones,
not a model to look to or worthy of imitation as expected, 
and as your strength swoons, your perception is blocked  
by clarity, and your gazes fall to factual disgrace
to reveal fallacy. How will a false-hearted man, filled with machismo, ever be
released from his ominous state? There are countless errors and faults,
and foresight is the solution to his self-inferred woes.


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Free verse | |

Die

My father whispered the word in my ear...

Die!

All of a sudden life turned into great fear.

Die!

Such an awful sounding word.

Die!

Makes me think we live in an awful world.

 

Will power...

Crumbles just like a flower.

Left in pain and agony for all to see.

That someone could lack so much care.

It's hard to even take a breath of air.

Will power...

 

My father whispered the word in my ear...

Die!

All of a sudden life turned into great fear.

Die!

Such an awful sounding word.

Die!

Makes me think we live in an awful world.

 

Plaguing my mind with intruding thoughts of death.

Maybe this will be my last breath.

Insanity is the only thing left.

With decades of torture and silence.

The only thing left to do is die!


Details | Free verse | |

Watching from the sidelines

A dysfunctional family
Always yelling
Fights breaking out
But there can be no telling

The mother sits 
Acts as if nothing is going on
Watches blood spilt on the carpet
But the marriage goes on

The father is in it
Finds a reason to investigate
Shots questions off
And looks like an ape

The eldest has had his turn
Beating upon his brothers
Turned against him and gets into the brawl
Watching his blood spilt on the carpet

The step has his freedom
No blood, groubeatings
Watches from the sidelines
Glad to have his cockiness without anything




The next one down
Has seen his share of fights
No blood for him either
But some unnerving nights

The smallest has understood
But cannot decide what he should do 
Does he go with standing up
Or go with the cockiness too

While the three yearn to yell
They cannot fore he is the only one they have
The mom is so happy and they will not yell
Secrets will come one day to tell the fights they gave


Details | I do not know? | |

I Say To You

I say to you,
  sweet man

Your harsh words,
 were like death

Crushing my spirit 
 in its angry fist


Details | Rhyme | |

Death, of an Alzheimer's Victim

A coin tossed
By father and son.
The father lost,
The son, won

Father approached
His wife so dear,
His eyes brimming
With saddened tears.

And on the bed,
His love did lay.
And from his lips
His soul did say

Oh, darling wife
I'll miss you so
But I'll keep my promise,
And let you go.

She did not speak,
Nor did she cry.
But, did release
A forlorn sigh.

Goodbye, my moon,
My star, my sun.
Then left the room,
And in came son

Oh, darling mother
Pearl of mine.
Let me hug you,
Let us entwine.

Thank you dearest,
For your love divine,
Please forgive me
Oh, mother of mine.

With heavy heart,
And loving grace.
He placed the pillow
Upon her face...


Details | Narrative | |

The Cold

   I stand alone from everyone.
In the dark morning shadow, cast down by a tree.
   It's long branches lingering above,
reaching out to touch me.
   I wait for a ride, with my hands down by my side.
The breeze comes, singing in the tree.
   Sweeping its way towards me.
Its cold.
   Yes very infuriatingly cold.
It crawls up my skin and sends...
   little prickles.
My flesh freezing to the slightest touch.
   Unable to move much.
I feel bitter, for I hate the cold.
   It makes me feel old.
For I am forced to remember, the old life I once lived.
   The things I had to give. 
The words left unsaid.
   The long ago snowy starry nights, full of porch and street lights.
Yes I remember very clearly, those dreadful long and lonely nights.
   I had my sister to keep me company, but no father.
For he would always be mad.
   Mad at me, mad at to whom or what I might turn out to be.
I hated him and with him, I hated the cold.
   The cold, that now sinks deep within my flesh and into my soal.

Dedicated to my Bastered father


Details | I do not know? | |

Mum

You can’t cry, 
I may not be there, 
But it’s not goodbye.
I know you care, 
And so do I.
But the time has come, 
For me to take to the sky; 
To see what I can do, 
In this world on my own.
But the place where you and Dad lie
Will forever be my true home.
Try not to worry too much, 
I’ll do my best to make you proud, 
And all I can say is: 
I don’t plan to be just another face in the crowd.


Details | I do not know? | |

song

Shush baby 
Don’t you cry
That’s a generic lullaby

I wanna do something more
I wanna help you spread your wings and soar

C: So shush baby
Don’t you cry
I’ll find you a lullaby
Shush baby
Go back to sleep
At least pretend to count sheep

I love you
And we’ll make it through
Don’t you test me baby it’s true

I know he’s not here
Because he’s queer
But we’ll get through somehow

You don’t need a dad and I don’t need a man
To survive

-C-

At the end of the day
He wouldn’t care anyway
You need to accept the fact
That he’s never coming back

I’ll make the money
I’ll be your one true dad

You don’t need him to hug you when you’re sad
I can do it all

-C- (x2)


Details | Free verse | |

Father

I used to wonder

What you sounded like

What you looked like

Why you weren’t here

For so long, 

I thought my punishment from God for all the wrong I was GONNA do, was your absence.

I wondered if I were simply a mistake of two teenagers who didn’t know their head from 
their a$$es.

I used to ask about you, a lot.

I was either sent outside to play or given a look that told me I shouldn’t even be asking.

So I stopped and simply accepted what I had

And I always had plenty,

Even when I was too ungrateful to realize it.

I let thoughts of you go 

During what I call ‘The Dark Years’

The years when I’d hardened my heart and my mind

The years when I felt like my life was founded on rejection and pain

The years when I didn’t care about much of anything, including myself

My teens and early twenties weren’t much fun at all.

Then something happened

I became a mother

The father proved that he wasn’t ready to be a father

I entered the real world

I got a better understanding of what you and Mommy just have faced

A better understanding of the responsibility it brings

Over the years

I’ve matured

I’ve gotten smarter

I’ve grown into a woman

And my mind came back to you

I started again to wonder

What you looked like

What you sounded like

If you thought of me, like I was thinking of you

My wonderment got the best of me and I replaced it with a need to know

To know

If you were still alive

If you lived close or far

If you were a fine, upstanding person

Or some cracked out drunken loser

Not that any of it really mattered

I just needed to know

So I began my search

For answers

For closure

For my father.

Each leg of my search brought me new revelations.

You were still alive

You were married

You had other children

And finally

An exact location

It took courage I didn’t have even know I had to send that letter

It took even more to answer that first phone call 

Stomach flipping

Heart pumping

With a simple “hello”

A door opened

To my past

To my future 

To the unanswered parts of me

To my father

Now that I’m here

I don’t regret a moment lost

I know that time cannot be replaced

But a new, improved future can be made.

And with you, my father

I’m looking forward to it.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Superman

When will all the pain and heartache go away?
Is this something that I must struggle with every day?
I just wish that things would have been a little different,
Maybe if I would have picked up the smallest little hint.
Maybe he would still be here today,
But now, in a grave is where his lifeless body lay.
I should have made my brother tell me what me what he knew,
I know he was only seven, but what if he knew what my dad would do.
What if I could have stopped by asking just one more time,
Maybe things would have turned out just fine.
If only I would have paid more attention, or loved him more,
Maybe he wouldn’t have questioned what he was living for.
I would giving anything to see him just for one minute,
To run into his arms, to say “this is it“.
Would I have anything to say,
Or would I just turn and walk away?
A daddy is supposed to be his little girl’s hero,
Her Superman, no matter how old she may grow.
Although my dad is gone I love him with all my heart,
I have questions that will never be answered, because from this life he chose to 
depart.
His problems were too big for him by himself,
I guess he had God sitting on an old dusty shelf.
I just wish he would have taken God off that shelf one last time,
Dusted Him off and said “God I need your help one more time.”
If he could hear me I would tell him my sisters and brother are growing up fast,
I wish I would have known that Christmas would be our last.
I would have hugged you just a little longer and tried to remember everything,
The smell of your cologne, your voice, but I didn’t know what that day in January 
would bring.
I didn’t know that it would seem as if my world had come to an end,
At that point everything stood still, time, even the wind.
Now my Superman is gone forever,
But if he can here me, I won’t forget you or stop loving you daddy…not ever.
8/9/04


Details | I do not know? | |

OUT OF TOUCH

We have lost touch you and I,
But was there ever what you would call
“Touch” between us?
You held me as a baby, but as I grew, so did
The awkwardness that surrounded you, like barbs.
There was no comfort, and we were never to close for it.
Yet I distinctly remember a touch or something very much
Like a touch,
A whisper of, a slight suggestion,
Yes a whispered suggestion aspiring to be a touch.
Loitering with intent, in the folds of your arms,
In the tips of your fingers, a touch
Hung in the balance,
Waiting to become, waiting to feel.
It never quite made it though,
The years brushed it aside with other dust,
And now we are out of touch, you and me,
And with out touch, there is nothing to hold us together.
We have run out of touch,
And I wonder if like breath, it will ever catch up?


Details | Rhyme | |

They Know Not What They've Done

LOOKING DOWN ON THE WORLD HE'D CREATED BEING OVERRUN BY SIN
KNOWING THE PRICE WE'D PAY WAS OUR SURE DEATH HE WOULD NOT LET SATAN WIN.
OVER AND OVER HE WARNED US, HOW HARD WERE RULES TO KEEP?
DIDN'T WE KNOW THE SEEDS WE'D SOWN COULD ONLY DAMNATION REAP?
ALL THE CHANCES THAT HE GAVE 
YET WE CHOSE THE SINNLY GRAVE.
HOW IT MUST HAVE PAINED HIM
TO SEE US LIVING LIVES OH SO GRIM.
DID THE FATHER CRY?
DID HE QUESTION US? WONDER WHY?
HOW COULD WE FORSAKE HIM? TURN AWAY FROM HIS LOVE?
FOCUS ONLY ON THE WORDLY, NOT THE GRACIOUS GOD ABOVE?
HE GAVE US LIFE, FREE WILL AND CHOICE!
RATHER THAN SHOWING THANKS AND PRAISE WE RAN AND HID AT THE SOUND OF HIS VOICE.
STILL HE LOVED US! EACH AND EVERY ONE
SO MUCH IN FACT, HE SENT HIS PRECIOUS ONLY SON.
BY WAY OF VIRGIN BIRTH~
DEAR JESUS WAS DELIVERED DOWN TO EARTH.
TO DWELL AMONG THE LOST SINNERS OF THE LAND
TO LIVE AND TEACH AND DIE WITH LOVE WAS HIS FATHER'S ONLY COMMAND.
ONLY INSTRUCTION? TO DIE WITH LOVE? FOR WHO?
FOR THANKLESS, LAWLESS SINNERS? WHY, IT WAS FOR THE SOULS OF ME AND YOU!!!
NO HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DO IT! IT'S NO WONDER THAT WE CRIED!
TO KNOW ~TWAS FOR OUR SINS DEAR JESUS THAT DAY DIED!
PERSUCUTED AND CONDEMNED HE LOVINGLY WENT.
MOCKED, BEATEN EVEN SPAT UPON, WAS ONLY FOR US THAT HE WAS SENT!!!!
A CROWN OF THORNS UPON HIS HEAD; NAILS DRIVEN IN HIS HANDS AND FEET.
DYING THERE UPON THAT CROSS, TO SAVE US FROM THE FATE WE HAD CHOSEN OURSELVES TO MEET.
INNOCENT IN THE EYES OF GOD, BLAMELSS BEFORE MAN!
JESUS GAVE UP HIS SPIRIT! HE'D FULFILLED HIS FATHER'S PLAN!!
OH, THE SHAME THE GUILT THE SORROW, TO KNOW WHAT WE'D BEGUN
TO HEAR HIM CRY OUT BEFORE HE DIED “FORGIVE THEM FATHER FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY'VE DONE.”


Details | Rhyme | |

The Crying Tears Of Your Violin

The Crying Tears Of Your Violin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   You take to the night in dreamlike trance
In tears you play of the beauty within
Followed through with the sorrow of life
The crying tears of your violin.
   People gather round you in homage 
Mystified by your astonishing sound
Holding hands in lovely sway
Anguish at the theater in the round.
   This seed of disparity planted on yesterday’s morn 
The lovely life of your child’s dismay 
A home disgraced in torching flame
The new found place of a mother’s grave.
   Into the fields of lilac dress
Fortunes of misfortune display less fortunate
Taciturn dreams explode in reverent voice
As life, becomes no more less than ornate.
   Yet you are not alone in your world
As the people sway to the comfort of your soul
Melting within the musical melody of sorrow
While placing their coin into your bowl.
   Where heaven blooms in saddened cry
Lonely love strums chords within
Displays a broken heart unto the crowd
The crying tears of your violin.
     ©By: Darren J McMurray
              November 11, 2008


Details | I do not know? | |

Wandering

Through the meadows across the plains 
Over mountains and fields of grain
With no companions to lead the way 
Where life blooms and fades away 

Flowers wilt and leaves fall 
When cold north winds answer the call
 The green turns orange but still he walks 
With slow confused and thinking thoughts 

To lose the love that he adores 
Of family, friends, and sad neighbors 
All at once his world did fall 
But time wears on without a loll

The memories flash through his head 
Of flickering fires over fed 
Of panic, confusion and worry
With no thought but hurry 

And now he’s sure he didn’t once think 
Of family roaming alone in the brink   
But worst of all, the question is 
Can he live with what he missed?





Details | Rhyme | |

Families

Some children give and some children take.
Some children lie about the messes they make.
Some make you proud and some make you angry,
while others end their days
worrying about names on their tombstones.

Some mothers laugh and some mothers cry,
but all mothers leave guilty children when they die.
Mothers can be right and mothers can be wrong,
while others end their days
praying for brown-eyed baby girls.

Some fathers breathe while some pace the floor.
Some fathers forget what they have families for.
Some are weak and some are strong,
while others end their days
with adding machines and remote controls.

Some families fight and some just surrender.
Some can be tough while others are tender.
Some break apart and some stay together,
while others end their days
in silence wondering why.


Details | I do not know? | |

Hi

Hi mom
Hi dad
It’s been a year now
I love you
Where did you go?
You haven’t written back
I am gonna to tell ya that I am 6 years old now
My Grammy tells me that you are in a safe place
Where is that safe place, I want to go
Why haven’t you written back?
Oh daddy, I rode my bike, I fell, but it felt like you were there to tell me to be 
strong, get back on
Mommy, I touch a burner today, I called for you. You never came
I sat in the rocker in my room, and watched for you
You never showed
How come?
Don’t you love me?
Am I really not that important to ya?
Why didn’t you take me with ya?
How long shall I wait?
I cry every night, for ya guys
I watch my friends with their mommy, and daddy
But don’t worry for me
I will be the best person, to show you that I really was worth it
I love you
I pray for ya guys every night
This is the best I can do
So I will wait for your letter


Details | I do not know? | |

Reality

Two handsome boys with eyes so green who live a life like someone’s worst 
dream. 
Their mother works her life away while their father sits and shoots dope all day. 
As she comes home from another hard days work, she gently kisses their 
forehead and softly whispers that she loves them.  As she watches them 
sleeping she cant help but become angry, knowing that they must be dreaming 
of the life that they should have had. Softly the boys cry daddy, daddy please don’t 
go why can’t you love us enough to just say no.
 Now as their father sits behind the cold gray walls of his prison cell, he finally 
realizes that he is living in his own made hell. The day is finally here and he is 
free once again. As he looks upon his boys, his eyes fill with tears because today 
is the day he has to make a choice.  Will the love he has for his sons give him 
enough strength to finally say no, or will the call of the drugs be too much and 
make him just go?




Details | I do not know? | |

Where are you god?

God where are you??
When my father put me in hospital where were you?
When I wanted to die where were you.
When I had to testify against my father where were you.
God I keep reaching out
But somehow I end up without.
I keep asking myself what did I do that was so bad
That you would leave me with my dad.
Why wont you forgive me?
Why won’t you save me?
God where are you??
Where did you go when my sister died?
Where did you go when he said he didn’t cheat but he lied?
Where did you go when my best friend was hit by a drunk driver?
Where were you when I was the only survivor?
I’m only human I was wrong come back to me.
I’m down on my knees.
Please I can’t take anymore!
I can’t watch another love one walk out that door.
God where are you.
There has to be a reason why I am here and why you are gone.
Why are you gone?
Can a person be born bad.
Is it possible to always be mad?
Are you there?
Why aren’t you fair?
Do you exist?
If so why do you resist?
Why won’t you save me?
Why didn’t you save me?
Save me?


Details | Acrostic | |

HOME

A little baby dying, 
A mother crying,
A father hoping,
A broken heart, 
A pray sent out, 
A dog lost, 
A grand father searching
A funearel
The sky,
The stars,
The dark, 
Bright lite,
A golden gate,
I'm home.


Details | I do not know? | |

Just Wont Happen

Went months going all over town,
Finally found the perfect gown,
But when I looked in the mirror,
Compared to dreams, 
My reality feels inferior,

You should be near..
For me to endear,
Your stubborn attitude arrests your emotions,
Reality you'll never apologize sinks deep in the big blue ocean,

Fiance found his suit,
I stare and smile, looks so damn cute!
I want to call and share this with you,
But with you I have nothing to do,

You should be near..
For me to endear,
Your stubborn attitude arrests your emotions,
Reality you'll never apologize sinks deep in the big blue ocean,

Collecting addresses from family,
Invitations are near ready,
Seems to be happening so quickly,
There's a damn of tears compiling rapidly,

I feared this a long time,
Couldn't put my finger on the dime,
This is the hardest thing I've had to do,
Plan my wedding without you

Honestly Im surprised,
Thought once you'd hear I was engaged you'd try,
Call me to talk, or show up at my house,
Your heart and mind are in a constant joust,
Hoped dearly that we'd reconnect,
So you could help me plan the perfect event,
Just wont happen..........

My biggest fear I have to overcome,
I can think about it all I want,
But when all is said and done,
Trying to stay true to what I feel is right,
Not sure how, but I refuse to let it ruin my special night. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Lonesome Highway Blues

Oh Lord Mama went away 
in the winter of 05
And now she's resting 
by our Papa's side

Lonesome highway 
crosses their path
Winding roads and
two lonely bird baths

And  scented flowers 
filter  the air 
Reminds me of them both 
still being there

And as I stare beyond 
the clouds silver lining
Oh I know their both up there 
doing some real fine dining

Oh Lord please comfort them 
both from all of their pains
And as my tears stream down 
in this pouring rain

Memories of pain joy 
and some of my fears
Is what brought here 
so close and near

Oh and Papa you were right 
when you said I had a lesson to learn
Many roads and bridges 
I had to cross and burn

And As I get into my car 
and drive away
I know this lonesome highway 
will return me one day

So goodby 
oh goodby Mama and Papa 
I still love you
I still love you both

oh and thank you 
thank you 
for helping me 
get over 

all those lonesome blues

lonesome highway blues





Papa   1925  -  1981
Mama  1934 -  2005

            { RIP }

Miss You Both


Details | Quatrain | |

A Fathers Loving Arms

Miss him, yes you always will

But pain, he will no longer know.

You'll see his face again, in every passing cloud

But now the time has come for him to go.


In your heart he will forever live.

Try not to shed endless tears.

In your dreams and your thoughts

His voice you'll always hear.


May you find comfort in these words 

For this you should always know.

When its your time to leave us, 

You're fathers loving arms will welcome you home.


Details | Ballad | |

The Ballad of a Boy

Father, dear father I'm lost and alone I've tried to make it out here on my own But I've stumbled and fallen again and again I'm tired dear father too tired to get up on my own Hold on dear father don't look at me yet Let me wipe away these tears my hearts been a cryin' I'm so sorry father I'm no man today Take me in your arms father and take me away The worlds so big father, I just never knew I thought with some elbow grease and a little can do That this world, with a smile and hug, would welcome me But no, their just not ou I tried dear father, really I did To make a name for myself Alas I'm only a kid Please dear father take me home


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Great Existence

Moving up over through 
Into
All I've known is felt through the end 
Never a beginning always ending
Falter as I may, myself I hold - alone in company 
Tress in to limestone pillars of my great hall 
Great as the Norse and proud as well
Threads of time woven with clumsy hands led by blind eyes 
Thus is the expanse of the web of life The Great Existence 
Not where but it's the being that is. Is what I am and 
What we are


Details | Senryu | |

Love 7

total enchantment
the time I shared with you
long past the times, few


Details | I do not know? | |

To My Dad Sammy

 I HEAR YOU , I FEEL YOU IN MY HEART
THOUGH WE'VE BEEN TORN APART.
I FEEL YOUR PAIN THROUGH EVERY WAY,
I MISS YOU BADLY EACH AND EVERY DAY.
 
I MISS YOURE SMILE, YOUR CHEEKY GRIN
YOU OPENED YOUR HEART AND LET ME IN.
YOU HELPED GUIDE ME THROUGH MY LIFE,
PUT UP WITH ALL THE WORRY AND AND STRIFE.
 
BUT NOW YOURE GONE , NO LONGER HERE,
HOW DO I HOLD BACK ALL MY TEARS AND FEARS ?
WHOS GOING TO WIPE AWAY ALL THE TEARS?
OR LEAD ME THROUGH THE FOLLOWING YEARS?
 
I FEEL AS THOUGH MY HEART WILL BREAK
DONT KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN TAKE,
BUT I KNOW YOUD WANT ME TO GO ON
TO FACE EACH NEW DAWN THOUGH YOU ARE GONE.
 
I WILL GET THROUGH THIS, I WILL SURELY SURVIVE,
TO KEEP YOUR MEMORY ALWAYS ALIVE.
DEEP IN MY HEART YOULL ALWAYS BE,
SO VERY MUCH A DEAR PART OF ME.
 
SO WORRY NOT, NOW REST YOUR CARES
YOULL ALWAYS BE IN MY LOVING PRAYERS.
YOULL ALWAYS BE SO PROUD 
I'LL NOT BE BROKEN ,ILL NOT BOW DOWN.
 
    YOUR NAME IS SPOKEN SO LOUD AND CLEAR,
FOR THIS WAY YOULL ALWAYS BE NEAR.
AND WHEN IM OLD AND ITS MY TIME
I'LL COME FIND YOU DEAR FATHER OF MINE.....
 
ILL NEVER FORGET YOU DAD..


Details | I do not know? | |

Imagine A World

Imagine a world
Where the words you hear
Make you stop
And fight back a tear

Imagine a world
Where a Dad has to face
The pain and suffering
Which he cannot erase

Imagine a world
Where a Dad loves his girl
To him she is always
A most beautiful pearl

Imagine a world
Where a Dad he must try
To always be strong 
Never to cry

Imagine a world
Where a Dad has to pray
For his beautiful girl
To turn out okay

Imagine a world
Where a Dad rarely hears
Wished for words
To help ease his fears


Imagine a world
Where a Dad so full of love
Was surely sent
from up above

Imagine a world
Where a Dad could be free
To know all the joys
Having a daughter should be


Details | Free verse | |

Daddy Mike

Daddy Mike,
What were you like?
You were gone 
when I was a very tiny tike.
 
Daddy Mike,
Was it because of me? 
Was leaving me all you could see?
Surely, you knew how much pain there would be.
A little girl needs her daddy.
 
Daddy Mike,
From abuse and pain
I shed many a tear.
Without you here,
I always felt fear.
 
Daddy Mike,
Abusive babysitter, playmate,
bullies, and family.
Nowhere for me 
to flee.
 
Daddy Mike,
Why were you 
not here?


Details | ABC | |

About Mom and Dad

Sometimes I began to forget how life use to be,
and have to go through the box that holds  our memories,
Memories of when you and mom didn't fight,
and all of us lived under one roof,
when there wasn't two of every holiday,
and step moms or step dads,
Even though I was young I still remember the day you left,
and mom didn't cry cause she knew it was coming,
I can't help but to think of how things could have been different,
and how it would feel to still love you dad...



My life with my mom and dad was never good nor was my life cause
I am now a single mother of two girls and my oldest is Austin but it's lies bumps I 
over come and the only way  i can deal with life and everything is to wrote 
poems....So thank you all for enjoy reading my poems


Details | I do not know? | |

Left To Die

My heart lies empty
 its contents have been drained

You did that!

You came in as I slept 
 and dissected my body

Prying open my chest
 revealing to your sick world my beautiful heart

With your rusty dagger you plunged it in deep 
 causing my sweetness and light to burst forth

Now I lay before you
 a tangled mess 

You and your cohort laugh over me
 and dance your twisted dance 
 reveling in your handiwork

Knowing that you destroyed a life

That you helped create so long ago


Details | Narrative | |

Depart

He is in a spot I have never seen him before
A position I cannot fathom 
Recognize
His hand folded on his chest
Wishing for one last breath
His care left us with everything
But what we didn’t know was that he was 
It never called for rain but it did that day
He never was all there anymore
And the song started playing
The guns went off
And my respect left for this man
Through battles he helped us all
Through it all we kept us alive
And he passed us by with a fair well
And a departure
For everything
And we was something to everything
We was everything to us


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Divine Intervention

Beautiful little girl
Devastatingly beautiful
The birds would start chirping when she walked past
Her mother’s daughter they all said
A mirror image
 
And suddenly she was shocked by love
5 years old being undressed like a doll
Caressed and bathed so lovingly
Such gentle touches
That no one suspected
 
Mother found a new piece to her heart
Wedding bells chimed
And a new father was born
5 years old she was…just 5
 
This beautiful little girl found love in her “new” father’s arms
He held her close, sometimes too close
But no one suspected
She didn’t know this love was pain wearing a mask
She learned that love was…
Shielded from the eyes of her mother
Night visits to her room from her father
Year after year
For 15 years this was the love she knew
 
She felt invaded, alone and abused
She told her mother
About her new father…the man her mother loved
She didn’t acknowledge, wouldn’t bring herself to see
What the water so clearly replayed in her view
The mother knew, just knew
That her husband would, couldn’t ever
Never…bring pain to his daughter, never
 
Little girl, what does it feel like to be loved?
It feels warm, and wrong but gentle
Strong hands unclothing you
Caressing your body as if you are a grown woman
With a glorified body to worshipped and pillaged over
Little girl, what does pain feel like?
Closed doors…darkness…my father…naked
Hopeless
 
Beautiful little girl
Devastatingly beautiful
Pain paraded as love
Molestation masked for discipline
When your daughter cries out
When she cowers in corners
And doesn’t trust the dark
When she says love is just another word
Just another synonym to let him abuse her
Trust what she has to say…
 
I was that beautiful little girl and now I am a woman plagued with fears
Some nightmares you cannot outrun
And some memories only God can wipe away
The blood of all my pain is on my mother’s hands
"I forgive you"
Beautiful they say…
It’s a mask for something more


Details | Senryu | |

We Will Remember Them

Dying for Freedom
American and British soldiers
Will be remembered

 

" Dedicated to the losses our countries are taking to fight for our freedom "
                                 Haiku or Senryu matters not


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war3.php


Details | Rhyme | |

An unforgettable father

An unforgettable
father you are,
As if you left me 
trapped in a glass jar.

Not much space to 
see what i please,
Lord please cure me 
from this sicking disease.

Disease of hurt and pain,
As deceitful thoughts of you 
float through the brain.

Days you missed 
i cant forget,
Left out in the rain 
all cold and wet.

My graduation 
how could you,
No excuses yet 
I'm not through.

A card, balloons, 
you showing up,
Would have over
turned my cup.

What going on 
I'm confused,
Why is it that i 
Have to be abused?

I don't know what to say
Cause these things bother,
The thoughts of  you
and unforgettable father.


Details | I do not know? | |

sad and blue

				     Written tonuhalan10/4/06 mon
Sad and blue

there are some times when your feeling sad and blue
there are some times when you don’t know what to dooo
don’t even know 
don’t even know
don’t even know

there are someways 
when your going
what your going through
and I don’t even know how to survive in this place im going into

there are some times 
you don’t know what’s going on
there are some times when you feel so sad and blue

don’t even know
don’t even know
know know know


and you might of found him 
and you don’t know what to say
your playing out to all those people in this place
there are beings from outer space
and you don’t know what to do

as you see the colors
behind your eyes 
there’s nothing else to make you blue
I don’t even know don’t even know
don’t even know know more

as you feel the beat 
and going through the floor
there’s nowhere out there in the summer
there’s know one in the rain
and you don’t even know
and you don’t even know
and your going out into the frame

there are places that I have been to 
and there are things that I like to do
there are ways to make you feel          Written and sung by Sean McMahon randy 
Joseph on 19/03/06                                                         on /19/03/06/

and to make you feel so new


like the speed its making me higher
don’t know if im on fire
fire is the burning desire to make your father new
I haven’t seen my father since I was five years old
writer playing on the stage
and don’t know what he is looking for

got his bottle of whiskey in his hand got a smoke in the other one 

don’t even know don’t even know
know one

I put it out in another place like my father told me it was great 
but I never saw my granddaddy die
I was like seven years old I was running on and through
and there’s nowhere out here on a rainbow and the sunshine got me through

and the grass is green and the trouble on the field and the falling of the sun
vocalization of somewhere out there and I have just begun
and there’s now more out here in the summer
there’s know where in the rain
and if your playing that then im coming alone 
and your going to feel the pain
going feel the pain
pain
there are some times when your feeling blue
						Sung by 
Sean randy Joseph McMahon/written in text on /19/03/06/


Details | Free verse | |

My Thoughts

He sits there,
Watching my every move,never sleeping,
Keeping a constant visual on our family.
Sometimes I ask him questions and he gives me answers,
Without even saying a word.
I stare into his face and wonder if I made him proud,
He looks back at me,with those loving eyes,
And in his own way says yes.
He brings back all those memories of us,
Fishing,hunting,and just being a family.
I see him you know,in my daughter,
The way she smiles and looks at me.
I miss you father,but I will talk to you every day,
Even if it is your picture.
I know you hear me,
Because you are in my heart and my soul.
I know because I can feel you there,
I know you can feel the love I have for you.
I will let you rest now,
Wipe the tears from the frame and put you back on the shelf,
Where you can see the family.
I love you and will always miss you.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Abandonment

At a young age i was abandoned
most of my life i felt like nothing
Asking questions that will never be
answered.

My mind feels disassembled
not knowing what i did to deserve this
and are these growing pains really worth it
was i meant to be or an accident you see,
this just doesn't make sense to me.

Such a young age lost my innocence
trying to feel love, but only getting resistance
and the distance, is so far can't be reached by
train or car.

Did you ever really want me to be dad
how do you even sleep, i bet not bad
well im glad, im not like you
and all the feelings of missing and hurting 
are through, from your abandonment.


Details | Bio | |

Lost Fight


To the man who was never there
There are moments that can never be relived 
Those are the moments that you’ll never remember 
My first day of school, my first crush, my first date, 
my first prom, and my high school graduation
All of these you’ve missed
And I will always remember that you did 
Tears were happy and sad
The fact that I am always your daughter 
But you have never taken the time to really be my dad
I’ve done everything but I cant anymore
I may be your daughter but
I wont fight for your time or you anymore
My tears are done, my anger finished 
Soon I’ll be married and my last name changed 
Its time that I relinquish and give up a long ago 
Lost Fight


Details | Light Poetry | |

Cloud-Cover

Cloud-Cover… On A Sunny Day
Got Me On This Hill… Looking-Up and Dreaming
Cloud-Cover… I Just Want To Lay
And Watch The Sunrays Gently Beaming…
… thru The Cloud-Cover… Cloud Cover

Cloud-Cover… Like A Gentle Lover
A Sweetheart, That’s Somewhere Far Away
Who, Sends A Message… To This Hillside Clover…
… and Me… Wishing Both, Could Stay…
… just Like Cloud-Cover… Cloud Cover

Oh, Let Our Lives, Be Like Close-Cloud-Cover
Gently Rolling By, Slowly, On The Breeze
Rise Up With Love, For One Another
And Ride The Wind.. ‘til We Are Free…
… Discover, Cloud-Cover… Cloud Cover

Cloud-Cover… Was A Sunny Day
… but I Hear Distant Thunder… On A Hill…
Cloud-Cover… I Have To Pray…
I’m Running Thru The Rain… ‘Cause I Feel A Chill…
… Don’t Let It Be My Cloud-Cover!... Not My Cloud-Cover!
…Nor My Son, Daughter, Mother, Father… Or My Brother…

Cloud Cover… Please… Cloud Cover…

   In Memory of Those Taken From Us...


Details | Senryu | |

My Dad Is Gasping


                my dad is gasping…
the blonde next door sucks his breath,
                  with her fiery lips.


Details | Shape | |

Cry Out!

                                My nerves there bad
                                My temper is short
                                My frustration comes easy

Would it hurt for someone to do    one thing to please me? 
To please a heart that was broken   from a father who doesn't want her. 
Á father who doesn't notice her.   A father who doesn't say I love you. 

            He makes me wonder,   "Does he even want me?" Time spent with older 
brother, 
          all my time spent with    my mother, but even I make time for my brother. 
        I’m not alone because of   my mother, but what happened to the figure of a 
father.           

I am this mans only daughter. My     skin complexion he looks no farther.  
The attitudes and frustration cover    the fact this problem bothers me. 
My heart from a stabbed womb bleeds.   Why doesn't he want me?

      I’m his baby, I still make A's and      B's, this part of my life is so empty.
  Can anyone hear me, can you feel me.   Stretching and reaching out for me 
Daddy.
"Does he even want me?" A hug I ask I dare     to plead.  
      
                                My nerves    there bad
                                My temper      is short
                                My frustration    might come easy

       These parts of me I get from he! “Why     doesn’t my daddy want me?"
                                                      "Cry     Out!"


Details | I do not know? | |

Trouble Flying

I’m in danger -
 my wings are broken.

I am having trouble flying today.

Your words did that. 

The words you penned
 on yellow lined paper 
 still haunts my thoughts. 

The bitter words,
 remind me that you hate me.

Please take those words back and
tell me that you really do love me. 

Help me mend my wings,
 so that I can find 
 the strength to fly once again.


Details | Bio | |

Life's Bitter Pill

The preacher's eyes looked so sad
as we walked from the graveyard.
They had just buried my mother 
who died at fifty one.

The mourners were on their way
picking pebbles from the ground,
casting them into mother's grave,
they too had tears in their eyes.

He placed his hand over my shoulder
as he spoke with those misty eyes:
"Take it easy, son, don’t you cry,
your mother must be in heaven now."

But I was numb and unbelieving
with no thoughts to what he'd said
for I could never forgive his God
for taking mother away from me.

My poor father silently cried,
shocked by the death of his wife.
But he never knew, if only he knew
that he was soon going to die too.

I looked around me with mock relief
and I saw them all clothed in black.
"Take it easy, brothers and sisters,
no need crying over spilled milk."

I don't know how many times I cried,
people had tried to hurt my pride;
never caring to look into my feelings,
they laughed at me behind my back.

Now my dreams had all burned down,
fate had stolen my golden crown;
while the curtain's blown by the wind
the rain was dripping from the pane.

I'd been through life's ups and downs
but I never moaned aloud like a clown.
‘Take it easy, Fred, take it easy,
soon the dark clouds will go away.’


Details | I do not know? | |

Where's Daddy?

Daddy didn't come home
From work that day,
So me and mommy
Kneel down to pray.

She asked God
To watch over dad
The way she said it;
It sounded sad

I looked at her face
And I saw the fear,
As on her cheek
Rolled down a tear.

I asked mommy
If she was going to be ok,
And she looked down at me
Without a word to say.

Mommy, where's daddy?
Its getting late
"Its ok baby....
He's at the gate"

So I ran outside
And there was nobody there,
"Hehe..you lied to me mommy!
Thats not fair!"

"No no baby
Thats not what i meant
The other gate baby;
Thats where he went."

I looked around
As she pointed at the sky,
I thought a While
Then i asked her why...

She brought me to my room
And She laid down my head,
As she cried out softly...
"Your daddy's dead."


Details | I do not know? | |

People Die, Love Does Not

Cursed with the silence of a thousand years, he entered the land of the lost. Without giving more than a quick glance, His eyes remained locked shut, For he knew that they could not handle such a terror. He cried for the first time, as his Father was lowered six feet into the Earth. He unwillingly watched, While his whole being was filled with the utmost horrific form of agony imaginable. As the burial came to an end, everyone came to him and apologized. They do not realize that this only causes his suffering to grow. When the crowd dispersed, All that was left was him and a flower covered grave. He sat until the moon rose, and finally spoke. "I love you, Dad."


Details | Ballad | |

What would you do?

The day still fresh in my mind
weather escapes me but it's your words
i find, not a father or a daddy
guess i was blind
you made me feel hollow leaving me behind.
And your life is so great now isn't it
i heard you really look it but what would
you do

if i walked up to you
face to face man to man
would you even understand at all.
or would you just walk away without
anything to say
what would you do

if you seen me all grown up now
i guess the years you were gone you'd
think i was let down or run out of the will
to fight just because of you
your kidding me right.
Always wanted to extinguish the light
from my eyes
but to your dismay, im still standing
never going away.
Abandon me then i was upset but now im ok but
what i really wanna know is what would you do

If i walked up to you
face to face and man to man
would you even understand
or would you just walk away, nothing
to say, always seemed to be your catchphrase
now what would you do


Details | Lyric | |

To Father

a child flings her father
to the moon
remembers a need not present
and, 		empty,	leaves
as a moment vanishes.

throwing caution to the wind
she dips like a swallow
a room full of noise
envelops her mind
and he stands there
			watching.

a butterfly looks back
noting a subtle crease
in her once warm home
she			 nods
in acknowledgement
then spreads her colors wide
and flies
killing all hope that she is
as she was:
malleable.

I fall into your arms
like an ocean you
rock me away, though
eventually			
		I have come to see
your tides bring me under
your sand chokes me
like a child 		I cry
that serene image 
now lost.

the child picks up
a shell
a rock
a leaf
to add to a
pack rat’s collection
but one day		
she must choose –	
which will she keep?

you try to shape-shift me
into what I’d like to be
lead me down a path
with no one by my side.
I am not a student
lessons mean nothing
I have no one to
run home to
after a day in your office.

I am a swallow
a butterfly
but most of all a child
your child
I will take what you have
given me
so graciously
and once again
I’ll fly.


Details | I do not know? | |

Words

Words can mean a lot -
I love you or they can break a heart. 

Your words, 
 tore open my soul and ripped out my heart. 

Why did you have to be so hateful?

Why did you break my heart?

You only ignore now,
 pushing me aside.

Telling me with your silence, 
that I am not worth your time.


Details | Rhyme | |

Please Get Here Son

Please get here son,
the day is almost done.

Will you get here  like your dad promised or will their be a delay?
I am awaiting anxiously with much dismay.

Please get here son, its been so long,
this separation seems very wrong.

Please get here son, the wait is great,
Your late, your late!


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Dad

My birthday is in January
so thanks for the card in June.
Oh, and about the $15 gift certificate,
I'm 26,
I'm too old for the zoo.
My number's still the same, 
you know,
the one you "called one day"?
I hate they way 
you make me feel,
but to you its all the same.
Tell your new wife
(what's her name?)
hi...
no forget it.
She probably doesn't know
you had a son.
And as for the grandchildren
you've never met,
I told them you were dead.


Details | Free verse | |

i am stronge

Sometimes I cry 
A people ask why 
I asked the same thing to you 
but you are never true
why do you drink
please think
why can't you see 
what this is this doing to me 
I was failing school when you were there
trying so hard with you not there 
but now that you are gone 
I feel so  strong
Like you were my anchor holding me there
sorry to  say with out you I feel free to go any were
I love you Dad but with you I an weak
like my boat has sprung a leak
They all say you will die 
and to try not to cry
I will not at leased I will try hard and think
you can  no  longer make me sink
for with out you I am strong
oh so strong




Details | I do not know? | |

Forever in the Darkness

To the authorities, your hands may be clean...yet to those who matter most...to those
looking up at you now with welled up eyes, your hands drip reddish black with my
blood...the children catch a glimpse of your sly victor's smile...quickly you hide it
behind a newly saddened facade, feigned and fabricated. The price of your happiness pales
in comparison to it's cost, woman...you just don't know it yet...

In this life and the next, I shall be your dark shadow...I shall haunt you without mercy.
Though you won't see me, I will be there. I will be the cold breath on the back of your
neck...the sense of impending doom that pushes down on you. When you hear a noise in a
dark room, it will be me, crouching in the corner with claws out, watching you in your
trepidation, whispering your vile name...I will be the chill crawling down your wretched
spine...the catch in your throat when you can't breathe and I breathe anew...

I will be all of these things for you, Rita...this is the least I can do to repay you.
Tell the children what you will about their father...the painful truth will be reflected
back to you every time you look into their confused, mournful eyes...when they stare off
and you try to catch their tears, oblivious to the waves of sorrow inside. Your victory
will become the wolf disrobed of the sheep's clothing. I will be the puppeteer of your
remorseful conscience, as it wraps it's hands around your gargoyle throat and ever so
slowly, takes your life. 

Though my thoughts became my fantasies, I never had your murderous resolve. Tell everyone,
tell the children that you never wanted to keep them from me, that I could come by
anytime, like you always said after months of painfully endured reality...no one will ever
believe you. Everyone knows, Rita...especially the children. Pray for my words to unetch
themselves from the forefront of your demented mind...still I will dangle them in the
background. Our beautiful children, your little pawns, your poker chips with a
pulse...will come to truly know their mother. 

So enjoy your foul, pyhrric victory...these six feet of cold earth matter not...the grasp
I have on you now is surpassed only by my reach, and like an unwelcome guest at your door,
I will be the puppeteer of your painfully reflective conscience...I will haunt you forever
in the darkness.


Details | Rhyme | |

Born confused

I was born confused
My mother was crying
My father wasn't there
'Cause he was dying. 

He was very young
He had no hope at all
But all his pain went away
When he found out he had a girl.

The little creature made a change 
In his  hopeless life
She was looking at him
And begged him "Daddy, please, don't die"

Her Daddy made it
And he made her happy
But now she's away
And nothing is happening.

She is still confused 
In a far away country
Her confusion is getting big
She needs to see her Daddy.

She misses his hugs
His love and care
But they both are strong
This kind of relationships are rare.







Details | Quatrain | |

Losing Dad

My life was changed so harshly.
It feels like yesterday,
when God said you have had enough
and that you couldn't stay.

I miss you more than ever...
Your guidance and your love.
But, I know you're still watching
silently from above.

The love you gave still warms me
the way it always will.
But leaving left an empty space
that time can never fill.

From heaven you're still giving
the love you always had.
I know you hear me talk to you.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU DAD!!!


Details | I do not know? | |

From a Stranger to a Father

The greatest thing in the world

Yeah, until those other girls

I was your princess until that day

They ran on in and stole you away

You may never know how I cry

Some days I wish time would fly

People tell me to move on

But how can I if my love is so strong

Mommy tried to do what she needed

But it just never was the same

You disappointed me in so many ways

Everyday I always say,

“I STILL LOVE YOU TODAY”

Sometimes I don’t know why

But you will always be my favorite guy

Even though you never did your part

 You stole the biggest piece of 

MY HEART!


Details | I do not know? | |

Left Me Here

Left here on the wall
Hanging here for a purpose unknown.
I was to be with you, I was going to live my life, As you wanted it.
But I was left on the wall, with no one to place me back up,
For when I was to fall.

You're gone now, far past home.
I'm stuck here without you, You were my life, you were my joy,
Hell I would have died for you,
But it wasn't the same way around,
You wouldn't die for your baby boy.

Dad, you're gone.  I need you now more than ever.
I need you more then I need myself.
But you're down the road, bags shuffled in the trunk.
You left me hanging, You lied when you said,
You'd never leave me.....never!

You said you needed more than me,
I said I could change.
But that wasn't enough for you,
She was better than me, 
You said that I would never see.

I asked If I'd ever see you again,
And the only thing you could say,
The only thing that you could have done to hurt me more.....
You said, "No son, I'm gone....but you can still see me,
you can just pretend."


Details | I do not know? | |

Father Figure

I want to be a father figure
Not like
the fugure of my father.
I want to push my kids farther
than Mars or rap stardom
Never seen my father figure cry
even when his father figure died
and went to the sky.

A father figure a father figure I want to be
A son or maybe a daughter's picture
In the park I'm walking with them
Laughing more often than
my father figure and I did.

This poem is for the father figure who lost his father figure
or still has his thoughts of being a father figure -
seeing one - two
feeding three - four
stressed with five - six
No matter how many though this father figure takes care of his.

I want to be a father figure......figure.


Details | I do not know? | |

Clueless

You have given me
my freedom.
Not wanting us any-
more.
Calling yourself a dad,
but hating your own child.
Calling yourself a husband,
but hating your own wife.
How can you live that way?
Hating everyone in your
life, including yourself.
How can one hate so 
much?
You don't even have a 
clue when it comes to 
your children.
You don't even have a 
clue when it comes to 
your wife.
You don't even have a 
clue when it comes to
your own life.


Details | Free verse | |

Hurt

So you came back
Only to disappoint me 
Again
But this time I was ready for you
This is why I have no love for you left
You see I trusted you
When I shouldn’t
Gave you the benefit of doubt
When you didn’t deserve it
You can’t break a heart
That is already broken
That is already numb
To what it is accustomed to
Pain
Endless
Grueling 
Pain
I never would have thought 
You 
 Daddy Dearest would hurt me so deeply
But then again 
I can't believe I was stupid enough to let you
Again


Details | Rhyme royal | |

Fear

   It'll crawl in your insides and make you turn upside down.
    You'll start to run from everything and all everyone can do is look at you with sad 
eyes. Like it's sad that your afraid to climb mountain tops and crawl in the dirt. It 
sort of makes you guilty for always running away and it always catches up to you until 
you can't escape anymore. It's like the world is so huge and intimidating, it makes you 
seem so small like your the only one. Fear is fear until you learn to conquer it. Don't 
let it take over your mind because when it gets there it's deadly, it'll eat your insides 
even though your not ready.


Details | Rhyme | |

Miss You

Sitting here wondering,
Where you are.
Wishing I could see you,
But you’re just too far.

I really didn’t know who you were,
Or what you were like.
I wish someone would’ve tried,
To make things alright.

You went away,
Thirteen years ago.
What you did was selfish,
And really damn low.

You hurt the people who cared about you,
And you affected all our lives.
I wish you wouldn’t have done that,
I wish you would’ve tried.

You won’t be here to watch me grow,
Or to see me graduate.
You won’t be here to walk me down the aisle,
Or watch me go on dates.

I hope you miss me, Daddy,
Because I miss you so much.
When I get to heaven,
We’ll walk hand-in-hand and such. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Mistakes

I made the mistake of bring myself to your level.

I regret putting myself into this situation without looking both ways like my 
mommy taught me.

I regret not dotting all my i's and crossing all my t's.

Everytime I shed tears knowing you wasn't trippin over me.

Everytime I laid down with you and letting you hurt me because it made you 
happy.

Everytime I thought I could press rewind.

Everytime I looked too deep into the future instead of living in the here and now.

Every lie I told you because you liked when I stroked your ego.

I regret keeping that one secret from you because if you knew you'd be crushed 
beyond workds.

I regret becoming the monster that I am.

I made the mistake of putting up a front and acted like everything was fine.

I cared too soon and too hard.

Every lie I believed. 

I regret following my heart.

For being so naive.

Sometimes I regret that I'm here. He didn't want me so why did she care?

I regret that I became an asshole and ended up being everything he is and was.

I made the mistake of being what I promised myself I would never become.

I regret that no matter where we go in life you will always have a big piece of my 
heart.

I regret that I let my friends treat you like dirt behind your back and let them smile 
in your face.

I regret that I am apologizing for my mistakes

I keep making the mistake of blaming my traits on genetics.




Details | Blank verse | |

Ironic Senselessness

Isn’t ironic how you come

into my life unannounced, just like that?

Or how you act like you’ve known me all of my life.

What do you want all you bring is pain and suffering? 

You make me cry then act like everything’s alright when in truth,

its really not its quite the opposite it’s never gonna be alright.

Why is it so hard for you to figure out your not my father and 

you never will be because my father is a whole lot more tolerable than you could 
ever be. 

Stay outta my life because it’s Ironic Senselessness on your part

for ever getting involved in my life.


Details | Rhyme | |

" The Life Of Me " page 2 of 2

So in 83 i met a girl, Nicola's her name, my heart was a whirl 
We courted and married, in the space of 3 years 
It changed my life, disquelled previous tears 
Over the years, we are blessed with 4 kids 
Nightmares of the past, are now well rid

It's now 2008 and i'm feeling so low, just as lonely as i was before
There's various reasons for this lines to be said, as i stare at our house front door.
Dare i go through, but do i dare
James, it's not just about you - but your childrens welfare

What will i find inside or out, if someone can help me, please give me a shout
Will i ever find, what i'm looking for  - in this world or the next
It will be through my last door


" Well i have found what i am looking for, it's being read on this wonderful site - my
poetry. But the bigger plus is the people who are reading it, Poetry Soup Family "
                                                       ( Bless you all )

                                   http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

To Unknown God

To Unknown God,

You know…

I cried, nights after nights;
I fought attacks after attacks;
I hid my self in the dark;
Where were you when I needed you most?

You know…

I was not Job, neither was I David;
It was just me…young and weak;
The dark knight shattered my innocence;
Where were you when I needed you most?

Still, 

I felt…the blessings,
For my sufferings, I became strong;
Alas, the golden sun now shines on me;
Is it you who make it shine?

You know…

Today, I am a poet,
Writing poems, one after the other;
Happy and full of life, one thing thou, 
Please erase, the bitter memories, in my heart.

You know…

I was a young poet, then;
Now is only the re-birth…of olden dream,
And, of the old self;
For my strength, I thank you, O, Father.


Details | I do not know? | |

Daddy

It hurts when you talk about my dad,
It hurts to know he was found dead,
It hurts so much I want to cry,
But all in all I just sigh,
It hurts to know I won't see him again,
That he won't be there when I need him,
It hurts to know he won't see me grow up,
To see all my dreams come true and other stuff,
It hurts to know he will never be there,
It hurts to know he won't get to be my dad,
That even if I'm here he will still be dead,
One day I'll get over it,
Till then I'll just think of him,
With all the pictures and memories of him,
To me it will be like he's really here


Details | I do not know? | |

I never got the chance to say goodbye

    There you were. Here you were a tear falls down my eyes as I see you getting weaker. 
Doctors predicted 4 months to live and I was still living in a delusional world I could 
never quite see over that rainbow where you were gone from me. It seemed too strange to 
ever see my life going on without you here with me. Then the four months went by and you 
were still here a new treatment, a new try... but the pain keeps getting deeper. I wanted 
you to live forever to be my dad until the end of time and all the while I noticed that 
this disease was breaking you down and it hurt. If it was breakfast in the morning it was 
usually liquid in the bucket by lunch, you couldn't keep any food down and your favorite 
foods taste like garbage. I wished I could help you, I almost resented your anger when I 
didn't bring ketchup to put on your french fries. You claimed I was inconsiderate and 
then when i'd cry you'd wipe my tears and sing me songs full with lies. I always ended up 
forgiving you and thinking that you'd always be here tomorrow to talk to. How naive I 
was... almost a year went by and than each couple of weeks you were in an out of the 
hospital. The ambulance was at our house more than anyone else... I had to call every 
time you were in pain and I sat by you reassuring you things were going to be ok. But I 
never got the reassuring talk from you... I was too late to visit you in the hospital and 
I hate myself for not seeing you. By the time I visited you couldn't talk or breath on 
your own... The only sign of life was the monitor. I cried so hard that day and I cried 
for after. Hard times were coming then and I could have used reassuring words from my 
father. But I guess I can't fault you... I can never blame you, It just hurts me that I 
never got a chance to say good bye. I never got to say " I love you".


Details | Alliteration | |

Daddy

for this girl of 6,
so lost and unfree,
her father abandon her,
"where are you daddy?"
scared to the flesh ,
she searches her home,
looks at the id,
no one called on the phone,
as she finally stops,
she gives into herself,
she knows hes gone,
nd left her in hell,
the tears fall down,
as she covers her eyes,
her face gets redder,
as she crys and crys,
"mommy is dead"
"lying on the floor"
"its all your fault daddy"
"i love you no more"
as she quietly shivers,
she remembers the past,
her mom was at home,
he shot her ass,
"whyd you do it daddy"
"whyd you shoot mommy"
"how could you do it",
"when you loved her softly"
so she went on her life
and remembered as she grew up,
"i hate you daddy"
"i hate your guts".


Details | I do not know? | |

A Father Whom Can Not Return (angel of sadness)

I used to think about what life would be like
When I turned twenty-five
Of coarse I mess up, but I'm granted plenty of tries
Tomorrow doesn't matter, for I'm trapped in now
I used to kiss your mother in all places other than her mouth
Not referring to you as a mistake
But now I'm wondering how 
I guess the chances I was given, I have taken
And I'll never learn
Now I'm just a father whom can't return
I used to never worry about growing old
I used to say I'd keep my temperature
Even in the blistering cold
Daylight seemed so shady
And I'd shadow every truth my mystery told
Maybe life will turn me into a hardworking man
Stars in the night sky openly stand
Maybe life will lead me to live out my fantasies
I'll be everything, we once as children ran to see
My peers will mourn
For I am now a father whom can't return
I couldn't rehearse a lie
And I couldn't re word a well told story
So I have heard, but what more does life have to offer me
Late at night I witness you lay down and pray for a softer me
What would you prefer to see
I fear that I'll be no better than you were to me
Now I'mma father whom can't return


Details | Elegy | |

Go Join the Rain

An old man sat on his porch
rocking his life away
watching the sun fade in the horizon
each and every day

He wondered of all the days gone by
all the memories he had lived
trying to remember the reasons why
he chose the life he did

The old man who rocked the chair
was burdened by years of pain
but I told him not to close his eyes
for there is beauty in the rain 

The old man said many things that day
and one sounded like goodbye
so I touched his hand asking him to stay
but his head lay silent at his side

I rocked him in the evening wind
silently beginning to cry
knowing I didn’t ease the pain
my father carried inside

Old man you tried to rock away
those many years of pain
but decided to open your eyes
and join the beauty in the rain


Details | I do not know? | |

Father's Day

This day is made for those who have someone to celebrate,
I am not one of those people,
Today means a lot to dads everywhere,
Too bad I don't have one to share it with,
Every year at this time I just think and imagine,
I think about the many things I would do with my dad on this day,
I imagine what I would give him and how happy he would be,
When I see everyone with their dads it makes me sad,
It makes me feel like crying,
I ask God why is it that I don't get to celebrate this day,
How come I can't share it with my dad,
I know I am not the only one who can't, 
I know lots of other people don't have dads,
I just wish one time I can celebrate this day,
Instead of always watching others on the sidelines,
I have always felt I was missing something,
Now I know every time this day passses,
I sit at home and pretend this day doesn't exist,
I make it seem like som other day,
But when I see those people buy presents for their dads,
It makes me wonder how come I don't have that,
I get angry and mad at the man who I call dad,
Because him not being here makes me cry,
I hope that one day I can tell my dad,
I Love You and Happy Father's Day,
If that day was to come soon,
It would be the best thing to ever happen to me


Details | ABC | |

Help

In my room, nice and quiet.
Until footsteps from out the door.
Dad comes in all liquored up,
NOt like usual a little more.
The yelling starts,
the violence begins,
He tells me to get ready to pay for my sins.
Jolts me from the bed,
A stinging sensation across my face.
IN my mouth the blood i taste.
I fall the the floor with intense pain.
My dad screaming my name.
Pulls me by the hair,
I get out a scream as my shirt tears.
He slaps me again and tells me to shut up.
He leaves the room as I lay lifeless.
Then a thought crossed my mind
To get to the phone.
I crawled over
picked it up
And to my relief there was a tone.
He picks me up and throws me across the room
HItting the wall
The last thing i saw before i blacked out was my dad standing tall.
I awoke with doctors around me
saying i was badly injured
They told me my dad said i fell down the stairs, but i beg to reconcurre
I couldn't move that well
i hurt to badly
Couldnt talk
could barely walk
Dad comes in 
A different side of him from last night
Said lets go
but i didn't want to
Tried to talk
Useless
No doctors in sight
Walking out
couldn't stay
here it starts
here we go...


Details | I do not know? | |

Yesterdays' Thoughts'

                             An old man standing on his porch
                             The sun so hot it feel's like a torch
                             Strawhat pulled down to shade his eyes
                            In the distance he hears a lonesome Dove cry
                            He works from sunup everyday,till late afternoon
                             Stands on his porch, and looks at the moon
                             He thinks of his wife and happier days
                             But she is no more,God called her away
                                  He now lives all alone
                              No one to share his humble home
                              His children have moved far away
                                   Looking for a better way
                               Tears in his eyes he wipes away
                               His thoughts are of yesterday


Details | Elegy | |

Cry

 Cry a tear drops down my eye as I see the pain you were in, You were my father it 
seemed like you were my only friend. 

  This cannot be real, I wanted so bad for you to heal to be the same person that you 
used to be but all i'd ever have was painful memories. 

  I wanted you here for my wedding for my first child, I wanted you here for everything 
for things father's live for.

  Now all I can see is the care free life that is put in front of me, My mother is more 
like a sister than anything she knows What's best but not like a father would.

  I can come home late and she won't suspect a thing, maybe I need a father to put down 
that hard cold disapline. 

   I cry whenever I think about not having someone in my life to hold me down, To keep 
me warm, to warn me.

  Life is filled with hardships I thought you'd always be there to protect me. Always be 
there to hug me.

  Cancer took you away so slowly but when you were gone it seemed like just a second. I 
wanted you close, I wanted to always be daddy's little girl but nothing worked out the 
way I planned it. 

  I cried, my eyes out now they are dry but they will never heal. The scars from tears 
have damage them for life.

  I will cry at my graduation, I will cry at my wedding, I will cry at each special 
event and just image you there holding a camera.

  Capture it daddy I will smile and say ill picture you handing me a tissue because you 
never left me sad for long. 

 Cry I think i'm over that, But remember you'll always be in my heart.


Details | I do not know? | |

Still your not here

 It’s Valentines Day full of cards and kisses
Wish you were here covers all of my wishes
     
Easter is here and were celebrating our lord
Each day that passes I miss you even more
    
 It’s been seven years today since we said, “I do”
It seems longer than that since I last held you
    
 We all gather together for the birth of our land
It’s the Fourth of July and your not here as we planned
    
 It’s your birthday today marking 34 years
When I think of you celebrating alone, it brings me to tears
     
Now it’s thanksgiving and the families all here
The rooms filled with spirit and still your not here
    
Out of habit I set a place at the tables head
The kids leave it and “Soon Mom” is all that was said
   
 Santa is coming and kids are full of cheer
I try to keep smiling even though you are not here
     
Pictures with Santa and the lighting of the tree
Smiles on Christmas morning I wish you could see
     
We gather to wish good tidings to all
I sit and wait by the phone thinking maybe you’d call
     
You have missed a great deal in the year you’ve been gone
Jason had a great time at his junior prom
    
 Katie turned seven and Chrissie turned two
For all their birthday wishes- they just wished for you
     
At night we all get tucked into bed
We snuggle up close and then bow our heads
    
 Dear Lord please keep special watch over our Dad
If anything happens to him we’ll be so sad
    
 He’s over helping the other country grow
Doing his job as you already know
    
 He’s helping other little boys and girls
Opening their eyes to a whole new world
     
We are so proud of him and hold our heads high
But each night we hear mommy lay there and cry
     
We all miss him more than you know
Yet during the day we don’t let it show
     
We have to be strong and keep the faith
That soon he’ll be home with us and be safe
     
We are proud to hang that flag up high
We are all so full of American pride
    
 We pray for all the soldiers’ safe return home
We pray that there are no more families left alone
     
Dear God for this Christmas please hear us pray
Bring our soldiers home where they belong, where they’ll stay


Details | Rhyme | |

ONE LAST WISH

Santa Clause, Santa Clause
Please hear me speak
This may be my last wish
Things are looking bleak
My wishes in the past
Were always about fun
Now with all my heart
I have a special one
I know it will be tough
I'll never ask again
But my little boy is dying
He's only turning ten
Just about a week ago
We were in a crash
Never saw what hit us
It happened in a flash
Dad and mom had died
My son is here with me
I cannot live without him
Santa can you see
His mom would surely miss him
His sister will always cry
He has so many friends
He's needed more than I
If you could talk to God
Plead to him my case
My one and only wish
To let me take his place
I have lived a lifetime
But his has just begun
My wish this year for Christmas
Take me in place of my son..


Details | Verse | |

Untitled

I know that people hate me
I know its okay to cry
But why do I feel like I want to die?

People trash me,
Throw me aside like garbadge
And make me cry.

I hate my life
It's the worst in the world
Oh father come home 
And save me from my life.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

The Sound of Silence

I knew my father,

He was silence,

existent.., but yet, not so;

a still, quiet, emptiness,
like darkness, or mulling
the unknown.

Who were you?

I knew you as the emotion that silence sings,

as a soulful indifference,
to crown your prince,
a hollow king.

I knew you,

as a yearning, flameless burning,

I so sought to quench,

as scarless wounds, so

deeply entrenched.

I knew you.., silence.

Silence sings, no wings to fly,

Silence sings, no tears to cry,

Silence sings, no heart to break,

memories or home to make.

Silence is neither truth, nor lie

Silence neither does, nor dies.

Yet, silence sings the weight you bare,

when your father’s love, is rarely there...

I knew my father..,

and though his glimmer 
is well beyond dim,

as in life, 

now death,

just Shhhhhh...,

that’s him…..,

Silence…




Details | Ballad | |

MESSAGE LOST

This internal conflict 
I cannot fight 
This is not black and white 
This unreasoned spite 

I cannot get through 
I have tried 
This message lost too, 
lost in the deep wide 

Two forces collide, 
the pieces scattered 
far and wide 
Years to track down what mattered 

This restless angry sea 
throws its might at me 
Waves of emotion 
Seething ocean 

What can I repair? 
This loss of tranquillity 
It is so unfair! 
Am I losing my sensibility? 

Is this damage done? 
Have I lost a son? 
Has the restless angry sea won? 

The lost message, 
floating on angry restless sea 
It must be me 
The things I might have done, 
to make me think 
Before I sink 
Before my son 

I cannot get through 
He wont let me too 
Rising sea, 
beating its waves on me 

This storm must stop 
I am ready to drop 
Seething sea, 
throwing its'self at me 
Waves of emotion 
Restless ocean 

This conflict, I cannot fight, 
peace is a right 
This restless angry sea, 
upon storm tossed message 
that is me 


Details | Bio | |

Unfinished

He might as well have died
A stranger in my eyes
Hurt, Angry and sad
Why did you forget me dad?
I wanted things to last that way forever
You were someone I once treasured
Perfect in my mind
I can't find the strength to cry
Am I weak or is it that bad?
To feel something besides these things I'd be glad
To enjoy the better memories I have
Am I ungrateful?
It's more than they ever had

I want to save my brother from the same fate
The loss of someone you love can drive you insane
He's someone else now, a different person lost in a maze
In a different world, another plane
Sometimes I want to be there with him
But I'm afraid I'd lose my way too


Details | I do not know? | |

Thank You

Thank you
For the time you walked away
To the words I could not say
Thank you
For the broken tears I've shed
For the long nights I cried in bed
Thank you
For breaking my heart
To the day before our wedding you tour my life apart
Thank you
For not being the father to our children
To now I found somebody else better to become my husband
Thank you
For letting me find a betta man
To being a betta father you ever can
Thank you
For leaving me at the pratice wedding stand
For this I would have never found a loving father and husband
Thank you
Now that you want me back
To the things I found in him you will always lack
Thank you
For not being my man
To you I hope that you be a man and hope that you understand
What a man like you should learn from what I'm saying


Details | Lyric | |

Missing

To have your heart broken,
just crushed.
To think this could 
never happen to you.
You were the one thing
she could count on.
You were the one person
in her life that was 
always there for her.
Missing that, now that 
it is gone.
Asking herself, what
did she do?
Why is he missing from 
her life?
He was suppose to be
the one person in her
life that would never 
hurt her.
So why did her daddy 
leave her?
Why did her daddy crush
her heart?


Details | Blank verse | |

A LOT?

How many words have you heard someone say to you?
A lot.
How many of those were positive?
A lot.
Negative?
How many words have made you happy?
How many words have made you sad?
A lot.
How many words make you angry?
How many make you feel better?
A lot.
How many of those words mattered or made an impact on your life?
Some.
The word that made the biggest impact, that determined who you became was 
love.
Hopefully somebody cared enough to tell you they loved you that you mattered, 
because thats important.
Hopefully you heard it a lot.


Details | I do not know? | |

painful memories

You watch the tears fall from my eyes-
in yet, you don't take notice. 
You watch me scream for him-
but you still don't take notice. 
You slap me in my face,
as you tell me to shut up,
and you flaunt the desperation in you voice
while hearing my cries- 
all because of the choice you made.
I was just a little girl- not old enough to understand...
How could you deal with this the way you did, instead of lending a hand?
Each memory still painful, 
each bruise and scar is reminiscing with regret,
of all the things you had taught me, 
you had not taught me to forget...


Details | I do not know? | |

If I wasn't born ( to my dad...why?)

He abused me,
I was too young to understand,
but he never said that he was sorry.
What did I do to deserve the things that
happened to me? I was just a young child,
you were suppossed to love me!
L.O.V.E., you never knew the meaning.
How could you beat your own flesh and blood,
what did I do that was so wrong,
I was so young, maybe you wish I was never born,
well I wish that too, if I was never born, 
I wouldn't had recieved beatings from you!


Details | Rhyme | |

From Brother to Brother - my Father too, sorry

Like brothers do
We fought and cried
But brothers we were
Family tied
 
One parent, our father
Brought us up
An ill man
Who deserved so much
 
But that fateful night
Only one son came back
Knocked down
Dragged over blackened tarmac
 
Running home
Thoughts in my head
I can't say sorry
Boom Boom's dead
 
Into the arms
Of my distraught dad
Five minutes earlier
Two sons he had
 
If we had not raced
On that Monday night
If he was not so fast
So out of sight
 
He would be here
Beside my dad
I'm so sorry
For being so bad
 
For all our fights
He would rather see
His two boys being boys
In front of thee
 
 
" My entry into the I'm Sorry contest run by
     Christie Moses and Sharon Weimer "


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php


Details | Free verse | |

The Hardest Question

Why?

Thats the hardest question.

When is easier. It was after.

After the baby, cacooned safely

inside of me. After she died. 

 

Why?

Again its too hard.

Who is easier. It was him.

He who promised to love me,

for better and for worse.

 

Why? 

That question's too difficult

Where is easier. In our room.

Our room with the cot in the 

corner. It was for her.

 

Why? 

Is still don't know.

What is easier. It was a knife.

A knife which slit, cut and stabbed

at my throat and stomach.


Why?

I can't remember! 

How is easier. With a casual

indifference. The anger had 

dissapeared.

 

Why?

Because of me. Because I killed

our baby girl. Not born, never born.

The pills had taken her. 

Like he took me.


Details | Free verse | |

Age

I'm old, older than yesterday but yesterday is dead. 
Sighed its last breath, stroked its last caress, on me. 

They make you older you know 
Grate on you, love you and you cradle them and they spit on you. 

Like I did to them in turn out of purity 
Oh the innocence, malevolence born evil and they kissed me. 

They will breed and destroy me. 
Age, you're in my eyes weighted lines now in my face cracking and splitting at the seams. 

I hold him close to my breastplate drawing a bridge to shelter me.
Building a wall that will break me


Details | I do not know? | |

Torn between two

The walls echo with  madness of anger spoke between two
For once i wish to wake up with no memory of you
Torn between two i had to decide,either I win the battle or i would choose to die.
Your voiceechos in my ear of what was to be done
You pushed out my father an your only son
Who would be next in this controlling game for one?
The aging memories over come the present fears
non-exsisting hope of drying the on coming tears
dreams last a mere miniute words last forever
memories are the forgotten past as time forgets never.
Hiding in the room and the walls closing in
I hear you in the background screaming "Let me in"!
Wishing to find him wanting to call i cried in the night for my sanity to crawl
blessed be the child who cries alone
Torn between two for everyday at age twelve she wishes she was grown
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Why So Far

Why is it this way
You are so far away
Way more than just one day

You said you would come home
Why aren't you here
I'm hitting the dark to roam

You said those words to me
You made me a promise
But you're across the sea
You're not home with us

You never really call
I wish you were home
I just want one call

I'm sorry that I cry
I just miss you so much
Please come home, please try


Details | I do not know? | |

A little girls cry

I hurt inside . All i ever do is cry.
You say "I'm never sadasfied"..
It's just things in my life to painful to recite.
A mother never wanted, or loved that child that God gave from above.
A father with a sick mind . Only hurt and never loved....
This person never had a chance from the first.
Then mother always drank and only cursed.
No time for this confused messed up little girl...
Never explained why all of the hurt.keeps it  inside one day to burst..
For i never understood what i did wrong....
Still questions i would like to ask??
Why God put me here?
Why God let it last?
And now i still sit and think about the past.
All the hurt and tears i held back.
Now i never mention the names Donna or Jack....
When asked about family Parents i lacked.....  


Details | I do not know? | |

Reflection

Sitting, wondering, thinking, imagining.  
Imagining what it would be like to go back change things.
Wondering how things would have been different.
Thinking she could have done something to change the outcome.
She closes her eyes and drifts to a place where things are like they one were.  
Everyone is there, the one she misses most is there.
He's waiting for her to run to him and hug him, tell him she loves him.
She sees him and wonders why he had to go. 
She becomes angry and wants to turn and run immeadiately because the pain is 
too real.
Instead she stands and stares.
She looks into his eyes, trying to read every emotion, trying to see what it was that 
she missed so that she can catch it if that same look of pain and hoplessness 
comes into the eyes of another that she loves so much.
He calls her to him, "come here baby, I'm sorry that I left, I just didn't see any 
other way out." 
She stands still, tears rolling down her face, she looks at him in disbelief, 
wondering how the man who was her hero is the one who has caused her the 
most pain.  
She continues to stand there, not knowing if she wants to hug him or turn away 
because he left her.  
The look on his face shows more sadness than she has ever seen, she wants 
to run to him and tell him not to give up, but it's too late for he is already gone.  
As she starts to walk toward him, his eyes begin to light up, it's as if he realizes 
she is worth living for, even if there is nothing else, his daughter loves him and 
always will.
He starts to see that he made a huge mistake.
She is still walking, the path to him seems to extend forever, like she will never 
reach him.
Finally she seems to be getting closer.
She reaches him, hugs h im like never before because she knows it will be the 
last.
She tells him how much she loves him, how sorry she is that she didn't do better, 
that she should have paid more attention to the pain he was going through.  
He just hold her and lets her cry on his shoulder, brushing her hair away from 
her face and wiping her tears away just as he did when she was little.
The pain comes back into his eyes for she is opening hers back to the reality that 
he is gone.
As she opens her eyes she is looking in the mirror and realizes that the eyes she 
saw with such pain were her own.


Details | I do not know? | |

My father

My father died when I was 11 

Continually I search 

For answers that can not be told 

In return I feel so alone

  Hoping he lingers in the 

Dark keeping him in my heart 


Details | I do not know? | |

Missing You

This special day each year
I bring you flowers and love
Visiting with you for hours
While watching the clouds above
Drifting on

The days they go by quickly
Our special day is near
Every day since you left
I have visited with you here
In my heart

This year to my dismay
I can not travel to be with you
It tears me up inside
Like nothing more could ever do
I’m missing you

I will stop throughout the day
And share a memory with you
The flowers I will take home
For you can see them there too
Dear Dad

I hope I’ve made you proud
I’ve done my best to be strong
I spend each day striving
To do right and not wrong
I’m missing you

You taught me all I know
And raised me on your own
I want you to know dear dad
You are the king of my throne
I love you Dad



Details | I do not know? | |

He Healed Me

You came to me last night!

I was so sick!

I was so weak!

I was really afraid i would die!

For a moment,

It felt like i was between death and life!

I was totally drained!

I was too tired to fight!

YOU SAID, DON'T MOVE!

Then  YOU touched my head!

Oh my LORD!

I felt like i was dead!

PLEASE JESUS!

DON"T TAKE ME NOW,

NOT WITHOUT MY CHILDREN!

PLEASE LET US GO HOME AT THE SAME TIME!

Later that morning,

I woke up!

I was no longer sick!

HE HEALED ME!

I would be just fine!


Details | Rhyme | |

Fatherless Boys

This is for the boy
That thinks he’s grown.
This is for him that
Learns to fight on his own.

This is for the boy
That feels the pressures of the worl’.
And for him that has
No respect for girl.

This is for the boy 
That has many confessions.
This is for him that 
Is pushed in too many directions.

This is for the boy
That feels misunderstood
Because he thought he wasn’t enough 
Of a man to have a father that was good.

This is for children of every race.
The only thing they want 
From their father 
Is to see his face.


Details | I do not know? | |

Missing You

I miss It soo much
Our hugs, your smile
Our friendship

I miss it so much
Lost, I can't find my way
I'm empty, confused 
sad

I miss it soo much
Our talks, Your jokes
Your care for me

I miss it soo much
Pain, Heartbreak
Tears, Loss
Memories are all I've got!

Fear, Lonliness
Confusion, Sadness
I miss you, your laugh
The happiness and family we were

I miss it, I miss it all
And I miss you!!


Details | Rhyme | |

The Child Within

I’m all grown up Daddy and all I can do is keep looking back.
I’ve traveled a long road just to be standing here dead on this track.
Many of my tears have been laid to rest and my smile I now seek.
Bruised and battered I cover the little girl that grows inside.
Yellow blankets and satin pink pillows to comfort her when she’s weak!
She seeks to hide.

I’m all grown up Mama and all I can do is keep looking ahead.
I’ve rode the Oceans waves just to be alive and not feel so dead.
Many of my laughs have been put to a test and my smile I have never found.
She’s lost, but sound.

The child within, they all attack.
The child within, they are all meek.
The child within, they all fed.
The child within, they are all bound.

In a world so far away,
Treasures and castles were her path.
It is where she always went to play.
Beautiful gardens and flowing rivers is where she took her very first bath.
Like watering a tree, that little girl just grew and grew and grew.
Finally, she broke free and was clear from every single one of you.

® Registered: Ann Rich   2007


Details | I do not know? | |

not forgotten

life taken so suddenly... and painfully so,
no time to satisfy desires of togetherness.
happiness to unexpected fear, emotions flow...
remorse , love , compassion, desolateness.

her words haunt my memory , " i never thought
this year would come to this ." i sat , staring 
into her eyes , nearly motionless ... distraught .
suffering of pain  ...... my heart tearing.

external beauty fading by loss of hair and weight.
bones deteriorating quickly. everyday abilities ...gone.
worries of what's to come. my father , her soulmate ,
by her side ... august 10th..she's taken at dawn.

to this day , it still doesn't seem real . i
find myself expecting to be greeted by her whenever
i return 'home' . and although i have told her goodbye ,
she shall remain in my life forever.



my dad , my brother and i were all with her as she passed....
                              
                                         ....we all miss her dearly.


Details | I do not know? | |

Longing


Guard my heart from all the worldly pain
Bring peace to my soul
And from sin let me refrain
For I have been so broken for so long
By Your light teach me right from wrong
Help me to walk in Your way without a doubt
Bring me to my knees
And Your name I shout
The journey seems so dark I cannot find the light
To me bring goodness , love, and what is right.
Help me to believe Your word will prevail
When I was once so strong
Now I feel so frail
Bring me back to the place
Where the darkness is no more
Close my past, give me a future of hope
Let my heart soar
Take away the sadness
And bring joy back into my life
The pain is so deep.
It cuts like a knife
Where is the compansion that I'm longing for
Bring me back to the place of peace
that I was before
I know that place
I felt the warmth of Your light
Take my burdens and help me to win this fight


Details | I do not know? | |

Dad

Out a windows ledge,horizen slowly fades.
Scores of others fled,it's time to turn the page.
He walks about the room,as silence fills the air.
And ponders of the gloom,tomorrow soon will bear.

The kids he has not seen,four years of utter pain.
The glass he walked to clean,to earn himself this name.
Shadows in his sleep,screams and cries and tears.
Floods upon his cheek,time fades but not his fears.

His country still at war,his children far away.
It drops him to the floor,upon the ledge to prey.
Their hearts and souls to know,that he has long since been sad.
The lord to soon allow,a hug for them from dad.


Details | Rhyme | |

Blood on Emeralds

The blood of Emeralds
In Northern Ireland's streets
Where sides detest
Victims they seek
 
Religious divide
Neighbours slain
For the life of me
What to gain
 
These troubled times
Historic sores
Deep rooted pasts
Now to the fore
 
IRA
UDA
Many guns came out to play
Both sides fell, as they murderously slay
During the week, even Sundays
 
The Belfast agreement of 1998
This Land of Emeralds, in peaceful state
Neighbours safe to talk again
Never allow the blood, on the Emeralds stain

" Dedicated to all Ireland - The Emerald Isle "


Details | Rhyme | |

ON MY OWN

Here I am sitting down and on my face is a long, long frown.
I wish I could go to another part of town
and find me a guy that's not a clown.
I have a mother who lives so near,
but does she visit?
No because she doesn't care.
I have a father who wouldn't even bother,
to call his daughter,
he would never know if I was murdered and slaughtered.
I have a boyfriend who is so immature,
but his ignorance I try to ignore,
how he needs to learn so much more,
he swears that he's so hard core,
but the streets is all he knows and nothing more.
I need a man and not a boy,
one who'll pick up the news paper before a toy.
He's a boy inside and out;
"it's over" are the words I wish to shout.
My best friend is special in many ways
she could go on lieing for days and days,
I think it's time we got some space
before I end up punching her dead in her face.
I have only one person who truly cares,
but she is no longer physically here.
Her words of wisdom are all I hear
and she's the only one i'de allow to see me shed a tear,
because only she can comfort me when i'm full of fear.
I will try to get through this, I will win this battle.
My heart and mind will unite
and together we shall win this fight,
I will try to get through this with all my might
even if i'm full of fright.
Walking through the dark,GOD will help me
and shed his light.


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear Daddy

Why are you not here?
Didn't you love me?
Wasn't I enough, to make you change.
When I raise my arms for a hug,
there is nothing, only air.
When I cry, you are not here  to soothe my woes,
and tell me everything will be alright.
Did the thought of me chase you away?
When I should of been enough to stay.


I Love You
Your Loving Daughter

Starr


Details | I do not know? | |

Eyes Closed

I close my eyes and pretend that you are still here,
I prented that everyone is getting along and no one fights.
I open my eyes and nothing escaptes but a single tear.
I put the mask back on as I go into the lights.

As I open my eyes the reality of it all hits me so hard,
There is no longer happiness or perfection around.
I put the cages back pu around my heart, it's my only guard,
The world is spinning around me I hear so many sounds.

I hear chaos, heart break, I can't do it so I close my eyes again,
I see a pefect family, I see us all laughing and having fun,
Then it's all gone and sadness fills the place happiness had once been,
As I open my eyes I want nothing more than to run.

Our family is falling apart and they don't even care,
I am losing the ones that are always supposed to love me.
I don't want them, I want you to be there,
You always loved me no matter what the case may be.

As they continue to hurt me I push them further away,
Once again I close my eyes and pretend that you're here.
You wouldn't stand for this, why couldn't you stay?
I keep my eyes closed for opening them is what I fear.


Details | I do not know? | |

Questions Unanswered

Sometimes, I wonder what I could have changed
Sometimes, I wonder if all my hopes and dreams were hanged 
I know I could never please him 
See, there was my dad and then there was Jim

I worked and sweat and tired
I worked two jobs in high school and didn't get fired
I got straight A's and was a mechanic he made
As a child we were close, as I grew our relationship fade

I would ask what I could have done more
I would ask why all the put downs, what were they for
I would ask how come he didn't love me,
How come everything I did was never good enough for he

See, its too late now, we walked away
I refused to see things his way
He refused to see things mine
I guess everything will be fine

He is my father, but I just can't  care
he has done to much for me, anymore, to bare
He chose to miss the rest of my life
Little does he know, two grandchildren, he will never put in the same strife




Details | I do not know? | |

Condemning Voices

Why is it I sit here and question what I could have done when people tell me 
there is nothing.  Maybe it's because there is something inside of me screaming 
that I am partly to blame.  I try to drown out the voice inside telling me I could have 
done something but it only grows louder.  I continue to try and block the 
condemning screams.  I try to block them out with anything, laughter, sleeping, 
running until my body is weary but I constantly hear the dull roar of the accusing 
voices.  I was young, but not so young I shouldn't have picked up on clues.  I was 
old enough to pick up on clues, but not old enough to put them together.  I start to 
come to a place where I accept that there is nothing I could have done, the voices 
start to fade.  Then I begin to think about it all and the condemning voice is back 
again yelling louder than ever before, but yet so silent no one can hear.


Details | Free verse | |

Accepting our loss

Such pleasure you gave 
in the short time we had,
but you were chosen
and though we are sad;
you're away from the dangers
your earthly life had,
away from things ugly
those awful things, bad... .
You brought us peace,
we can't be mad;
for your crossing over -
means an angel they add.
So proud of you,
so very glad;
from loving friends, family;
Mum and Dad 
xxxx


Details | I do not know? | |

Star Light, Star Bright

Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight.
It’s been awhile since I’ve gazed upon you.
As I lay here, weary from life’s brutal fight,
I’ve come to ask a rigid question; what do I do?

I’ve hit so many curves on this chosen path,
Drastically clinging to everything I hold close.
Behold I’ve been stricken with such a wrath,
A wrath that cripples me with its lethal dose.

Suddenly I was left alone, helpless and left to bear,
She didn’t want my love anymore, it wasn’t enough.
Her heart went cold, leaving me to exist on a prayer,
Even though all of this is in the past, it’s all still so tough.

I’ve fallen to my knees, wishing for an answer,
Why am I plagued with all these darkening fears?
My father battling valiantly with his carnivorous cancer,
Devouring whom I admire, driving me to angered tears.

My mother battles so nobly with her own illness,
Also beset by her very own devastating worries.
I think of her sanity dwindling as I lie in stillness,
Leaving my soul cold as the wind of a thousand flurries.

Tonight, I stare up at you, hoping you can guide me,
Wishing for what isn’t very likely as the tears weld.
But you’ve shined a vigorous light that I clearly see,
One once witnessed in my past, one I’ve gratefully held.

Maybe you can take me away from all this grueling pain?
To be a star that shines down on such glorious nights.
Maybe I will bring about happiness, a hope I wish to gain,
But this is just a shattered dream from which my hand writes.

So, I bring all of this to you, dear old friend,
Though it’s been awhile, I see you shine so bright.
I leave you with one last wish; to bring all this to an end,
I wish I may, I wish I might, grant me this wish I wish for…tonight.


Details | Ballad | |

A WISH FOR RICHNESS

It may sound foolish or even insane
to have a wish for richness or fame,
and it's perfectly normal and human 
to long for things we don't have;
but it's morally wrong to use them
against others...for one's greed and gain!

That conviction comes from inside,
uncovering the unclearness of doubt...
without being afraid of answers so dark;
faith seems worthless without a vision in the mind..
be persistent in seeking gold with an enormous risk,
and many will try a thousand times until they find it! 

A small seed will grow into a rich harvest...
sun-nurtured and rain-quencher before sunset,
and all these things you desire
are obtained through prayer;
don't heed the cynic's advice:
push forward  with endless stride!

A wish for richness has different motives,
discard the unworthy ones, consider the good ones;
curiousity and effort make people successful,
'till their empty basket is completely full!
Never did I see  believers struggle for food;
it was given because they bow down to a true God! 

Real food comes from the fertile earth,
those who eat it will not know early death;
millions of people die from man-made diseases:
cigarettes, drugs, alchool, and promiscuous sex;
if these are to continue, there'll be no one left!  

Be considerate of others...don't do anything
you don't want to be done to yourself;
have the kindest heart overflowing with giving:
never stop at anything, if someone laughs;
your determination is the result of dedication:
let all watch and envy you for your perception!       


Details | I do not know? | |

PICTURES

Pictures and smiles a families great descise.
Photographs of a normal family an illusion of what it secretly hides.
The family portrait in the hall is one of our biggest lies.
Our grins leave out what our eyes confides.
That day we were playing in the yard.
He got mad and beat me with a crow bar.
The pictures of my parents in Mexico left her scared.
He bashed her head in to the steering wheel of the car.
The pictures of little Travis playing with his new bike.
He was supposed to be happy but it wasn’t right.
Our dad picked up a PCP pipe for his strike.
When it comes to you father how are you suppose to fight.
It’s amazing what you don’t see in pictures.
It’s amazing how the truth is so easy to ignore.
People can be so blinded by wall fixtures.
It brings new meaning to what pictures are for.
The pictures of our happy family at the beach
Ended when my father was buried 6 feet.
My mother grabbed a knife the only thing in reach.
Now with her in jail my families incomplete.
Pictures hide so many things.
Pain only these pictures bring.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Day The Man Cried

In the middle of the night
Awaken by a crackling sound
Parents jump hit the ground
Get out, get out shouted with might

Children scattered every way
Eight boys, three girls were saved that day
The parents with their two brothers
Hoovered close to the others

The oldest son grabbed a table
With kerosene lamp, as he ran
Down the steps with a bounce
Followed by all the kids

God had mercy yes he did
Soon the word got spread 
To all the neighboring folks in towns
Love unbounding poured around

Wagons loaded with what people
Could spare, everyone giving a share
Slowly came into view, showing mercy
Not just a few

That was the day my daddy said
His dad broke down
And his heart bleed
He was touched by God's love


That was spread abroad
In God's people one and all

(This on insident that my father told of his childhood. He said that it was the only time that 
he saw his father cry.  His father was a very stern man and he had to be somewhat to be 
able to make it  because he lived by renting a farm from someone and farming to make 
money to pay the rent.  It was just another form of sharecropping.  He had to be tough to 
make it.)


Details | I do not know? | |

A Father

A Father is always there
A father is loving and lovable
A father is a hero to his daughter

You are never there
You do not love
You are not my hero

A father is devoted to his daughter
A father is a man worth looking up to
A father is trusting

You aren't devoted to me
I do not look up to you
And I do not trust you

A father is not you.


Details | I do not know? | |

I'll Remember

Forever I’ll remember January 19, 2001,
On the day you picked up that awful gun.
Why did you take your own life?
Was it because of your wife?
Was it because of your kids,
Or did you just not want to live?
Was there something that I could have said or done.
To keep you from pulling the trigger on that gun?
There are so many things I don’t understand,
How could you take your life into your own hands?
I have so many things I want to ask you,
but I can’t because of what you decided to do.
Whenever I think about it, it takes my breath away,
I think about you every single day.
I’m sorry for anything I ever did to make you mad,
But now I have to go the rest of my life without a dad.
You left behind 5 kids and a wife,
Simply because you wanted to take your own life.
It hurts my heart so bad,
but actually I’m still quite mad.
I really have tried to forgive you,
but it’s so hard to do.
Thanks for being my dad for 15 years,
although I wish you were still here.
Things from the past can’t be changed,
even though they cause so much pain.
I just want you to know, I miss you a lot,
suicide was something I never got.


Details | I do not know? | |

Daddy's little angel

Daddy's drunk again
Why am I surprised?
Because I had faith this time
In his decietful cries
Why can't he come home
Into these arms of mine;
Tell me "it's ok", daddy
Give me some peace of mind
Daddy don't want me around
So he kicked me out the door
He slammed it in my face
To him I'm just a chore
What did i do wrong?
See, I was just a child
Yes I made mistakes
And got a little wild
But don't you see that you're not perfect?
The way you say I must be..
I pay for your mistakes
Maybe someday you'll finally see
You don't show me real love
But why, I need to know
I thought I was your angel..
But i guess now you've let go;
You've erased me from your memory
In your mind you have no daughter;
I hope you know what you've done
My heart and soul you've slaughtered
Now my spirit's tired
i must now face defeat;
I refuse to take anymore
Of all your lies and deciet
Goodbye my dear Daddy
Now I fall apart
No matter how hard I fight
You'll forever have my heart


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

TOO MANY GODS WE APPEASE

Ever since man walked the earth,
his foul character has caused misery,
destruction, sorrow , wars and animosity:
a warrior so fierce and mean...
that God was forced to destroy his vile,
so that kind and faithful men would obey,
and never be without hope and joy;
and He called them:  His choosen people!

And those men lived by the commandments,
and the tremendous task of Jashua
was to lead the Israelites
to their Promised Land...after Moses died!
And though God found
one of them with iniquity...He forgave him;
and king Solomon grew in wisdom,
but David, on the other hand,
laid his innocence before Jehovah...
making him so God-fearing and brave!

Now, there are no more prophets like Moses
and Jeremiah ,and Job a blameless 
and righteous sufferer...being tested by Satan 
for his unyielding integrity to God!
If Aaron displeased God, are we to do the same...
let ourselves go unrestrained,
and worship an image to replace holiness?
There too many gods we appease...
 with a servitude which can't ever be released!     


Details | Ode | |

A letter to a son

Now,the pumpkin is ripe,
we're only a few days from the year's first mealie cob.
The cows are giving us lots of milk,
taken in the round it isn't a bad year at all-
if it weren't for your father.
Your father's back is back again
and all the work has fallen on my shoulders,
your little siblings are doing fine at school,
only Linda's becoming a problem.
You'll remember we wrote you-did you get our letter?
-you didn't answer-you see,since your father's back started,
we haven't been able to raise enough to send Linda to school,
she spends most of the time crying alone;
it's mainly because because of her that I'm writing this letter.
I had thought you would be with us last xmas,
then I thought maybe you were busy
and you'll make it at easter-
it was then your father nearly left us son,
then I thought I would come to see you soon before the cold season sets in-
you know how I hate that time of year-but then your father went down again
and this time,worse than any other time before.
We were begginng to think he would never see another sowing season.
I asked your sister Linda to write you,but your father wouldn't agree
-you know how stubborn he is when he has to lie in bed all day
or,gets one of those queer notions of his that everybody is deserting him!
Although we had to borrow a little from those who have it 
to treat your father,and you know how he hates borrowing!
     That's all I want to say.
     I do hope you would be with us soon.
     It's so long ago since we saw you last,
      -I hope this letter finds you still at the old address,
      the only address we know.


Details | Rhyme | |

Afraid of the Dark

Daddy never told me
it was OK to fear the dark
or what lay inside of it
and here it’s left the mark,
of a neglected child
who didn't know what to fear
as the darkness appeared,
midnight chimed near.
Shadows beckoned from all sides
and the little girl doesn't know,
she calls out to a father
who will never show.
She tries to hold it in
because daddy never said
that his little girl could hide
from the monsters in her bed.


Details | Rhyme | |

SET ME FREE PLEASE

I used to hate to see tomorrow,
For I was an abused child,
And I knew the next day
Everything would be the same.
Five years this went on,
I could tell no one,
Until one day
I had to say,
"Help me, please,
Set me free".
I couldn't take it anymore,
I was just a little girl.

(9/1987)


Details | I do not know? | |

WHAT ABOUT ME!

You said women were worthless.
They never mind their business.
They never know their place.
If it weren’t for Eve, Adam wouldn’t have fell from grace.
You said they were a waste of air.
They should only be used to bare.
You said they were Satan’s seed.
Well dad, what about me!
You prostituted yourself out.
You took our food money and made us do with out.
You had to have your drink.
You say we are the reason you sink.
You say us kids hold you back.
So much in life you lack.
You just want to be free.
Well dad, what about me!
You do things you don’t remember.
You leave us in the cold and let us shiver.
You would love with you hand.
You would come back with out your wedding band.
You make mom cry when you can.
I was so easy to ignore.
You walked out the door.
You said you didn’t love us anymore.
This is where you never wanted to be.
Well dad, what about me!
What about me!
Did you ever ask me?


Details | I do not know? | |

CLOSED DOOR

I keep on knocking
But no one is answering
Why does no one care?
Every door is closed
Slam in my face
As if I don’t exist

No one understand
All the opportunities closed
The keys in my doors
Lost forever
Locked within my parents

Who doesn’t give a sh!t about anything
Growing up in alcohol and drugs
Closing all the doors for me 
For a normal life
A normal childhood
That never existed

My life is in closed doors
With no keys made
Just locked
Locking me from the life
I wanted


Details | I do not know? | |

Little Eyes

Little eyes,
No one sees the little eyes,
The eyes that drip for him,
She grows up strong and brave,
And thinking she is wise

Daddy's little girl,
What she never was,
Lost in a maze,
Can't find the open path,
Left behind in shadows,
And stories never told

Little eyes,
No one knows what she sees,
She grows up strong and brave,
And thinking she is wise,
And the little lies,
And the little eyes,
But she smiles in the dark.


Details | I do not know? | |

I'm responsible for my son's death

(This is a fictional poem)

I feel nothing but grief and pain every single day.
My wife told me not to buy our son that motorcycle but I bought it anyway.
While he was driving it, he got hit by a car and now he's dead.
How can I go on when I know that I'll do nothing but suffer during the years 
ahead?
My son was killed when he was only ten.
When he died, I lost my best friend.
I'm in so much pain that I punch the walls and I scream as loud as I can.
My wife hates me so much that she left me for another man.
My son and I always had a special bond.
But life no longer has meaning now that he's gone.


Details | I do not know? | |

Smiling with Grace

Breathing in deep
Tearful thoughts of you
Slowly letting air out
My tears show through

Slipping down my cheek
One by one
My eyes will be stained
By the time my crying is done

Crying in my pillow
Trying not to make a peep
Sobbing from these thoughts
Through my pillow these tears will seep

All alone I cry
By myself upstairs
Thinking in my head
No one really cares

Forcing myself to stop
I wipe away my tears
Wash my face and put on a smile
The same fake smile I've had for years

I walk down the stairs
With that fake smile on my face
According to you
I walk, smiling with grace

You'll never know the truth
You don't need to know my pain
You are the one that hurts me
You use my name in vain

I can't take this any longer
I need to say goodbye
The pain, the tears
This fake smile has to die

And so I say goodbye
The weight lifted from my chest
No longer having to deal with you
And my mind can finally rest


Details | Free verse | |

breadwinner

to understand- to (in effect) reprimand everyone
else ____ the heart melts / you see / i'm ashamed, i want your
eyes ____ covered ; smothered in the thick heat of Delight / (taste
the night, 2night, do you feel all)right? put up a fight, confuse your
faults & limbs with ____ mine. ; trying to have manners- trying to
TAKE YOUR TIME ---- (the wonderful effect of a rhyme, the anticipated)
second glance. funny / chance ---- refused a dance on such a PerfectPer
fect day. mother, may i? father, may you [overlookme] tuck me in
tight? you're meant to keep those feelings _____ locked inside (swallow
the key). You & Me & We --- so much ground to cover, so much fun
to be had. i know you feel / bad / i can smell it / you reak of an un-
sorried past.


Details | Free verse | |

Father/Prayer Mirror

Father-
I hope you know that I see you.
Without permission, my mind's
been sketching you all day.

At once I see you hover,
a whisper away,
a roughed-up scramble of
cartoonist's strokes I couldn't
begin to fill in. 

Your unsteady hand is mine.
You assemble your limbs in Jesus Christlike form
and emit your premonition of loneliness,
your prayer.

Father?

Who
are you?
Am I your misplaced mirror, are you
a mirror for my prayers?

Father, your mirror is jagged enough
to invite these weary veins to bleed.
Prayer, your portrait is far too bleak
to adorn the walls of my mind. 


Details | Lyric | |

Son of Babylon

A night of sinful seduction
Lust without protection
A self-destructive woman
and a one night stand
Baby’s conception
nothing more than a mistake
A slip in judgment 
A slight of chance
from one ill-fated
alcohol-born romance
She carries an unwanted child
Poor bastard son of Babylon
Your mother refuses to love you
Poor bastard son of Babylon
your father will never be there
Poor bastard son of Babylon
Once you’re born
the world shall scorn you
Poor bastard son of Babylon


Details | I do not know? | |

Why daddy?

Some girls look up to their daddy,
think that he is a king.
But he just broke her heart
leaving a bitter sting.

It didn't take long to realize
he never knew it all.
Daddy was never around,
except with breath of alcohol

Now his eyes are glazed over,
and his touch so very cold.
Daddy isn't feeling well,
at least thats what she's told

"It's time to go home baby,
just climb into the car.
I'll be okay to drive you home,
it isn't very far."

A helicopter lands,
and she's taken from a pool of blood.
Why did daddy do this to her;
isn't she supposed to be loved?

She was a fool to belive him,
now that he has taken her life.
She would blame herself if she could,
for letting daddy drink and drive.


Details | I do not know? | |

my father's love

Feeling pain,
wanting to cry,
but will he listen to me,
he did not listen to me.
Growing up was tough,
because I never had my father's love.
From stranger to stranger,
too many times I " found the one I have been searching for",
well that is what I thought, I was confused, because I never had my father's love.
Who will treat me right,
who will give me respect?
when you have not been loved by your father,
then how can you not settle for less,
let men treat me any kind of way,
I never had my father's love,
so what else is there for me to explaine?
Feeling pain,
want to cry, but he did not listen,
did not hear me,
growing up was pretty tough,
In the arms of a stranger,
all because I did not have my father's love.


Details | ABC | |

Afraid no more

All my life,
Full of strife,
Stressed,
and Depressed.

My smile hidden from my fears
and covered by tears

You always treated me bad
And made me sad
But not today,
No longer trapped in my dismay

Today I'm gonna say how I feel
And now I can finally begin to heal

No more hiding my emotions
No more taking you rude notions
Deal with how I feel, like I did for you
And then you will know what it feels like too
What it feels like to not matter anymore
And then, you will find, that soon, you will be afraid no more


Details | Rhyme | |

How does it feel?

How does it feel?


So how does it feel that now you are with Jesus?

So how does if feels that now you’re days are gone?

So how does it feel now that you no longer will experience pain, sickness, and 
work and hate trick on God green earth?

So how does it feels that you are saved and now free?

So how does it feels you see angels are taking you away?

So how does it feel that now God had finally called you home?

And darkness is finally gone?

So how does it feel that god is about to give you his promise? So how does it feel 
that now you are in another world full of happiness?

So how does it feel that white lights perish on trees, there voices whisper your 
name?

So how does it feel you can prove to people that you can walk in the shadows of 
death and fear no evil?

So how does it feel that you finally left me here and you aren’t able to see me cry?

So I just ask these questions to be curios and I need answers. 

God honesty truth I don’t know how it feels. But some day I will find out.

I can’t believe that you are gone but still let your spirit answer me, or on how does 
it feel.

So at night I pray and ask your spirit how does it feel, will I bet it feels wonderful?

Because now there is a new life ahead of you. So that’s how it feels.



Copyrightã January 2, 2007

By: Chontell Dene’ Swann




Details | Free verse | |

Don't lose our love

Father please stop yelling,
your voice booms all around.
We got so used to hearing it – 
we switch off to the sound.

Oh yes it’s true we hear you
but your voice is now a noise;
it’s not what you say – that we can hear,
just abusive, boystrous tones.

If you stop a while, take time to think -
And plan what you might say?
Maybe you’d talk instead of shout,
and then we’d respond and work things out.

But while your respond in dulcid tones,
whilst all we hear is put downs, moans.
While all you do is scream and yell,
you’ll push us away – so far until…

You’ll lose our love, and all respect,
we’ll grow up not knowing loving yet;
run to the first who shows interest,
repeat history, life of whole regret…

You’ll lose our love, so stop this now,
teach us to love , to talk things through.
We’re not so bad, you’ll see us now,
And as a unit we’ll learn to grow…and flourish…

Make you proud, you’ll see.
Make you understand your love of me,
Be still, be heard – in quiet reserve,
with dignity, respect, and glee…

be proud.


Details | Elegy | |

Marlin

A smile
A guitar
A rolled up cig
A voice that sings
At every gig

A mind that travels
Beyond this plain,
A sense of humor,
Sometimes insane...

A devotion
To daughters
Of whom he was
so proud,
A tendency never,
to talk too loud

Words and thoughts
Wise beyond his years,
Human suffering
That brought on tears

Mark T...
His Gors nickname
"Marlin"
I wonder if he liked to fish,
One thing's for sure,
I truely wish

He did still tread
This earth, a world
so grand,
I was oh so privileged
To be in his band.


Details | I do not know? | |

WAR

We were happy as could be
We were so great, we were as one
then something happened and changed all for me
that moment was frightful and gone was the sun.

He came to me a dark night at work
To tell me some news of sadness
knowing that I would cry and jerk.
He kept reassuring me we’d get past this.

Months turned to weeks 
and weeks turned to days
The reality was cold and bleak.
We started parting in our own sort of ways.

The kids and I took him to the airport.
Hugs, kisses, tears of sadness, and crying.
I hollered at him to let us know what fort.
He said, “OK” and waved as he went flying.

A year went on with e-mails and phone calls.
Our daughter went up a grade in school.
Our son had a birthday with bats and baseballs.
Was I one or were we many a fool?

I did not follow through as I had promised.
There we guys in the house and I went to a club.
I came clean and met anger, spit, and ready fist!
I didn’t save any money, and for that, I feel like a flub.

Now we argue all the time.
Constantly crying over our happy past.
When someone ask, I say, “Ah, I’m fine.”
We were so happy... it was a blast!

The kids see him yelling.
They see me crying.
“It’s OK mommy, I’m not telling.”
Come the words from my daughter~sighing

He now can’t stand the sight of my face.
He goes to sleep angry, and wakes up mad.
He walks the house with a slow steady pace.
not knowing our future makes me real sad.

So what am I to do now?
Am I to go on and suffer?
Why should I and how?!
With my insanity, they’ll say, “Grab her and cuff her.”

Now I must make my own decision.
I don’t believe l will  go to hell.
I hope heaven’s real and not a vision.		
I’ll find out, here I go, now...
	 all will be WELL!


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Always

An errant wind ruffles the
surface of the lake,
disrupting the satin sheen,
quicksilver becomes watered silk.

The breeze caresses the old man
and he looks up in wonder
as he sees the spirit of God
moving across the face of the water.

                      He loved you always.

The wind is no more than a gentle sigh.
The old man sighs with the wind.
Memories plague his psyche.
Ruefully he smiles, he must protest:
Life is not short, it is interminable.

                      He  loved you always.

A grey cloud scuttles across the horizon.
He rubs a weathered hand across his face.
His heart sits like a stone in his chest.
The lake and the sloping yard and the
ancient trees and the old man long for you,
for the gaze of your eyes,
the touch of your hand,
for your mere presence.

                      He loved you always.

He ponders the errors he knows he made.
He is wounded by your impatience.
The sky begins to weep as the tears
run down the old man's face.
The surface of the lake pings as the
old man rises wearily.
The sky is shattered.

                       He loved you always.

He slowly makes his way up 
the broken path,
laid with such great love
so long ago, hardly able
to bear the weight of 
his memories.
He was once your resident hero.

                        He loved you always.


Details | I do not know? | |

I'm Glad

I'm glad you messed up,
I'm glad you didn't get to go.
I'm glad we had fun without you,
I'm glad all of our friends think so.

I'm glad I'm not talking to you,
I'm glad you're not talking to me.
I'm glad I know what you do,
I'm glad because I'm free.

I'm glad i'm free without you here,
I'm glad you had to go.
I'm glad you do the things you do,
I'm glad all our friends think so.


Details | I do not know? | |

Merry Christmas Daddy

                                Christmas time is here. How do I make
                                         it through without you here. 
                                This is the first Christmas I have had to
                                  spend without you. It's going to be so 
                                hard without you and not only do I have
                                   to spend Christmas without you,
                                    I do not get to spend it with my
                                              little one either.
                                You and my little one are the only
                                ones I had who would never turn
                                            your backs on me.
                               But now I have to spend Christmas
                             without you two, thanks to Mom, who
                           turned her back on me. You are the only
                               one I had to count on matter what.
                            Daddy, how will I go on without you?
                             I pray everyday that you could come
                               back and see me for just one day
                          (Christmas Day), so I could let you
                           know  what you meant and still mean
                            to me. I know you will be by my side
                                on Christmas, but I only wish I
                               could see you so much.  I still
                         bought you some wolves for Christmas
                            to set beside your ashes. So, please
                         let me know in some way you're here
                          beside me on Christmas. Don't forget
                                   we love and miss you so...


Details | Blank verse | |

Love me

Where were you when I was born daddy,
why did you leave me  all alone.
When I was in her belly,
did you leave her or were you there.

Mommy why must you go through this. 
Why cant you see this is hurting me.
I dont want to live like you,
mommy and daddy.

I hate that your always gone, daddy.
I hate that your always high, mommy.
Tell me why,
why you cant love me?


Details | Elegy | |

I Remember Daddy

I remember when daddy helped me catch
my first fish
At night he'd tuck me in bed and seal it 
with a kiss
As the days grew older he finally gave
me away
He helped me appreciate life and encouraged
me to pray
To others daddy wasn't a perfect man, but to me
he was 'My King'
He would tell me to do my very best and loved to hear
his grandchildren sing
Oh, how it was such a tragedy...a dream that has
no end
To face he is now absent from us...a missing father,
soldier, and friend
But although we can not feel his touch or kiss his
smiling face
We will await the moment to be with him in an
everlasting place


Details | I do not know? | |

To Know You were Proud

You are the stars in the sky 
As every night I look above hoping to catch your eye
Pretending you will one day give me direction 

Knowing realistically how disappointed you would be in all of us 
As we all continually struggle 
And I hope to find my way 
With the thoughts of how you see me in today 
Preying it gives me a reason to find the fields with butterflies 
To find the contentment and knowledge of knowing without a doubt 
You would be proud of me and the daughter you created


Details | Free verse | |

good bye

You may have left, you may not care,
But I have someone new and I don't care,
You may regret the things you've done,
But I gave up on you a long time ago,
You left so fast and never said good-bye,
And now I'm hurt so I'm saying good-bye,
It's not I'll be back orsee you later,
This time I'm saying good-bye forever,
You ruined my life and didn't even care,
So I'm giving up on wishing you were here,
You said you cared and you'd never leave,
Well now you're gone and i don't care,
You hurt my mom and made her cry,
Well you're a jerk cause you made 
yourself cry,
You abandoned your children and didn't
care,
So I'm saying good-bye, but I still care,




Details | Ballad | |

CHARIOT OF FIRE

Timeless roar of sea.......... 
Races to run........... 
Running with the sun 
This could be me 

I hear my heart beating, 
loudly in my chest 
Smooth flow 
This running show 
No time for rest 

So many miles to run 
This race not yet won 
Not in reach........... 
The dying sun, 
on this lonely beach 

Breathe this sea, 
running free 
Lonely beach, 
the running me, 
not in reach 

Running sea, 
wind lull 
Flying gull 
finding me, 

Relentless roar of sea, 
running me 
Hearts desire 
Chariot of fire 
Running sea 

The heart inside, 
the chariot of fire 
Running far and wide, 
lifts me higher 

Rhythmic roaring, 
gulls soaring, 
flying higher, 
chariots of fire 

My chariot of fire, 
sound of the sea 
Paternal flier 
The gentle me 

The running heart 
The running sea 
Takes part............... 
part of me............ 


Details | I do not know? | |

Stranger

There's someone I know
Who I don't know at all
Who's watched me achieve greatness
But only recognized my falls

I can't remember, tell me, please
When was the last time I saw you smile?
The last time you've been proud
Hasn't been for a while

And I saw how you treated her
The disappointment in your face
Growing between the two of you
Was an empty dark space

I don't want that between us
I don't want another repeat
So I stay along your guidelines
And let myself be beat

But it's breaking me down
Tearing away at my heart
I'm starting to wonder
If it matters that we're apart

So I hurt at the thought
It's like a piercing knife
I face the truth that's always been:
You are the stranger in my life


Details | Verse | |

Gone Fishin'

Tales from the riverbank deftly spun 
  in kingfisher shades and daybreak red, 
they whisper of the beloved one 
  in the babbling current watershed. 
Their prayers and praise solidify 
  in heads that knew humanity, 
the love and strength will never die 
  in safely harboured memory. 
He would always hunt the holy grail 
  of family virtue and esteem, 
and love he captured to avail, 
  integral to his reverent dream. 
No more he breathes this blessed air, 
  yet bides with knowing that one day, 
all those he loved will join him there: 
   gone fishin' somewhere down the way...


Details | Free verse | |

Somewhere

Somewhere in the world,
a mother weeps;
her child had been hurt
and she feels helpless.
Elsewhere,
a mother smiles
as her children
run carelessly past
in a playground.

Somewhere in the world,
a father is laughing
with his friends
in a smoke filled bar.
Elsewhere,
a father comforts
the awakened child
who screamed in fear
from a nightmare.

Somewhere in the world,
children play together;
running and laughing,
sharing and enjoying.
Elsewhere,
children are bearing arms
standing determined 
to kill the enemy.

Somewhere in the world,
will there ever be balance?


Details | I do not know? | |

My father

(This is a fictional poem. My father doesn't really have cancer.)

My father who was so strong is now dying.
He has cancer and I can't stop crying.
But for his sake, I must be strong.
He's become feeble and he won't live very long..
As I hold his hand, tears come to my eyes.
It's going to tear me apart when he dies.
What it all comes down to is that I love this man.
I'm going to make his last days as pleasant as I can.
He took care of me when I was a child and now I'm returning the favor.
The relationship between a father and son is special and should be savored.


Details | I do not know? | |

Endless Disatisfaction

It's not hate that I have for you
Nor is it love
I don't feel you hold me
You only continue to shove
I've grown up with you not around
Now you refuse to believe it could be true
My life moved on whether you were there or not
I didn't stop growing because of you
Inside me now I only feel a passion mixed with pain
Showing you that I'm not who you think I am at all
I want to prove to you that I'm not as little as you make me out to be
I too can stand up proud and tall
My Dearest Lord will protect me from your emotional blows
I no longer have to feel less
I'll walk away from your negativity with my head held high
I only ask my Lord for you to be blessed
Your satisfaction can no longer feed from my tears or insecurities
I'll bow gracefully and walk away
All the fighting, frustration, and disagreeing
You still expect me to stay?
I thought I'd be able to come to you when I was down
That was only me being a fool
My only mistake was to think you could understand
When the whole time you only told me I was full of bull
You've shattered my hopes so that you could feel superior
All so you could be right
Guess what? I'm not here to challenge your authority
I'm here to live, not to fight
I am who I choose to be, you don't approve?
Simply leave me be
The more you push and prod
The more I only want to be free
I guess I'll never be who you want me to be, but I've learned
I can only be one person, to be happy with who I am
No thanks to you
I will turn out to be an exhilarating woman
In my heart I feel this
That is what lets me know
I will make it through your cruelty
No matter how low the blow

Inspired by: My Father


Details | Rhyme | |

Drunken Realities

I stand here in our drive
You said you were coming
But the clock now says 5
I’ve been here since 1

Something inside me churns
You aren’t coming
My heart begins to burn
And my emotions are unraveling

I thought you loved me
I slip my hands in my pocket
I pull out a skeleton key
It says “Skip” on it

I hold it tight in my palm
I should have known u weren’t coming
My heart begins to calm
For it is the inevitable

I turn and begin to walk away
Just as I open the screen door
I hear someone behind me say
“Destiny? Is that you honey?”

I turn to see you standing there
My eyes swell with tears
Your love was my only care
And now I have it in front of me

I run full speed
I love you so much
My heart did bleed
For I missed you so much

Then my world stops
I sit up and realize my reality
Outside I see the cops
I get out of bed and walk to the door

Outside, I see you in the cop car
The lights are flashing bright
All I could do was stand from afar
Staring at you in your drunken state

My dream will never be here
For you’re just a drunken ex-sailor
Your soberness is what you fear
And because of that, we all lose


Details | Free verse | |

just tell her.

talk to her,
you plead with me.
just tell where you are,
just let her know that youre alright.
am i really alright?
does she even deserve to know?
you only get one mother,
you're speaking quieter now.
because you lost your mother,
because i know youre still in love with mine.
but please dont make me do it.
i know i'm pouting now,
glowering,
acting like a toddler.
no words escape from my mouth,
as though its been sewn shut.
i dont want to pick up the phone,
or type each letter for her to read and understand.
you slip $50 in my hand.
just talk.
just tell her,
just tell her.
but i cant do it.
not with the pulse of bribery in my palm,
not with the longing in your eyes.
you could never understand what she has done to me.


Details | Elegy | |

The Last Words

I miss my father everyday,
He is no longer there...
I miss him dearly,
Somedays too hard to bear...

When I envision him at the table,
Or playing his mouth harp,
An instrument on which he was,
Oh so very sharp...

Phantom breezes,
Like memories...
Still flow through cracked windows,
of 100 years ago...
Memories of family gatherings,
No more shall I ever know..
I grow old and frail and wonder,
When will it be my time to go...

Oh, if miracles God could grant,
Based on necessity,
He'd have me No. 1, first on line,
From the need only he and I could see

The last vibrations,
Of his final vocalizations,
Still within my heart,
Will linger until I utter mine,
And at last I, as well, do depart...

One last hurrah,
One last sweet afternoon, 
Having a beer on the porch together,
Listning to Glenn Miller,
Or perhaps one of the Dorseys,
Enjoying just being alive together,
Oh, all the things he taught me,
Family love hard as steel,
Now breaks my heart,
You likely know how I feel

Treasured hours on our porch,
Hearing "American Standards Radio"
Or watching the Yankees, or the Mets,
Just about as sweet as life gets...
The need to converse optional,
We've already shared our own secret beliefs,
Our feelings slowly peeling from our souls,
So there, no words need we share,
Just so glad each is there...
Flying amongst the trade winds,
So pregnant with emotion,
A sense of finality,
Of our love and deep devotion...

People who are no more,
In a place no longer there,
Echoes of time,
And words we did once share...


Something is flying about.....


Details | I do not know? | |

A Daughter's Wish

Oh I wish you could understand 
It feels like we're not even on the same land. 

I thought happiness for me was the way 
But you feel like I've traveled astray. 

You'll never accept my life you state 
So, far way, I'll always wait. 

With your mind and soul you showed me the way 
And I live by all the things you say. 

Allow yourself to come out of the gate 
Free yourself of the anger and hate. 

Love me freely and treat me dear 
I'm happy now daddy and you have nothing to fear


Details | Rhyme | |

Dad

In my heart you will always live
No one can say how much love you did give
Day in and day out when you were in pain
I never once heard you complain
You went through your days so full of life
But I believe God gave you that right
You were always there to laugh or smile
To brighten my day so I could walk that extra mile
You always were the best
You never gave any less
Your memory will forever be fresh in my mind
While we live day to day thinking of you and all the good times


Details | I do not know? | |

Daddy

My eyes hold the saddest look
my heart holds all my pain and the lies
i hide myself from you
so no one will know the truth
how much i feel inside
i love you soo much
i know you love me too
your slowly killing yourself
skipping dialysis all the time
cant you see what it's doing to me
how its affecting you?
so keep threatenging to leave
all ur doing is hurting me
so ill keep crying
ill keep acting happy
ill smile for you
and cry for me
to keep myself sane
i cant look at myself anymore
cuz i know im not that same lil girl i used to be
i've grown up buh not to the girl i thought i would be
i've grown up but im the girl who cries when no one looks
im the girl who you once knew,
im your daughter
im scared for you daddy


Details | I do not know? | |

Depressingly Surprised

Surprised by the words of my mother,
I start to cry.
I had no idea.
How could they not tell me?

He's dead and I never knew who he was!
I miss him so much
Why did he have to go?
Can anyone answer this for me?

I never knew he was my father until he died, 6 years ago.
Now I sit and I cry,
and try to imagine what it would've been like,
if only I knew.


Details | I do not know? | |

Battling A Tragedy

Jaded, broken, torn apart
Destined sadness from the start.

Young and pregnant, she was given away
Intentions sincere, a family her way.

Unhappy and empty, her past a bitter plague
Gratified and astrayed, began a tortuous brigade.

Three birds chirping, one got away
Learning and surviving alone everyday.

Refuge for the second, angry and afraid
Found solace and love where the sore was first made.

The baby still lurking, fluttering her wings as she lay
Hurting and broken, she’s trying, needs, and wants to find her own way.

The love of a father, poisoned by that day
He chose to fly away, and for his children to pay.

He spent his life sorry for the path that he lay
Battling his demons that were born in that hay.

He is stronger, smarter, and closer than ever today
To healing his soul and those that he made.

His courage, his passion, his endurance I say
I will honor, cherish, and support all the way.

His struggle and fight will still carry on
He will never give up, not until he has won.


Details | I do not know? | |

do you know




Christmas approaches the days seem long
I can’t sleep at night since you’ve been gone
It’s been five weeks times stood still
I can’t come to terms with it I don’t think I will

Rain on the window snow on the floor 
My head on the pillow your life is no more
Was it my fault did I do something wrong
If I’d spoken up you might not be gone

These are the thoughts that go through my mind
As I lay in my bed my head in a bind
You passed so quickly we don’t know why
You passed so quick no time for goodbye

What happens now is it time to grieve
Come to terms and start to believe
Or do I carry on as if nothing took place 
Pretend your still here imagine your face

Please answer my questions please give me a sign
The place you are now is it better than mine
Are you watching me now do you see what I do
But most of all do you know I love you.


                                                                         


Details | Verse | |

Expectation Denied

Some say: Never had, never missed; 
How hollow that feels in the harshest light 
Of the loss of the brow that was never kissed, 
Of the dream that retreated into the night. 

The memories of expectation, taken away, 
Are as piercing as having, then having none; 
The forces of kismet so cruelly at play 
Denied us our future, beloved son. 

Though time may heal through thick and thin, 
The world might relinquish, turn kinder than tough, 
For now there's no answer, no place to begin 
And whatever transpires is never enough. 

So we hold to each other, the truth in it all, 
The tears will cease, then torrent - revived; 
And the truth we will tell is the truth we recall: 
We loved you as much as if you had survived. 


Details | Verse | |

The Dream Of A Horse

The heartless sun is quite early today
Youngsters on horses are on their way
Reaching a spectacle castle on display
Eager remembering every step to play
In return of unison laughter’s in replay
Joy sprung in blank faces without delay
As earthly music floated, with a hurrah
Till the whole last, without a real pay
Thy love I haven’t see, but just a bay
I dream, thy heart, golden...someday  




Details | I do not know? | |

he never loved me ( my dad)

Hands around my throat,
I begin to choke, no one can hear me scream,
someone opened the door, saw what was happening,
did not call the police, that is what he did to me.
I do not want to ever see him again,
I know that he is the one I have to forgive,
that is what the Bible says, God I do not underst