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Sad Daughter Poems | Sad Poems About Daughter

These Sad Daughter poems are examples of Sad poems about Daughter. These are the best examples of Sad Daughter poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

Daddy

Daddy

Daddy, why did you go away,
Don't you know I wanted you to stay!

Daddy, when you left mom,
Don't you know you left me too.
Now all I do is cry and cry
--- I want to die!

Daddy, mommy say's it's better this way,
What does she know!
There's not enough band-aids to cover up the blues
Mom's kisses can't heal this kind of pain.

Daddy, I look around 
No one stands in your garage
Daddy, You took every tool
Except the hammer and sitting stool
Daddy, I still miss you 
--- I love you. 

***
***
Dear Daddy, I'm all grown up now
Haven't seen you since I was 10

Daddy, I sit on your favorite chair,
No longer do I miss the way you caressed my hair.
Daddy, I'm taking the old hammer and this BRAND NEW saw,
It's time to patch all the holes mom punched in the wall 
*The day you walked out on us*
Daddy, don't worry about the times I tripped and fell
Mom, found someone to fix  the loose boards,
Got tired of scraping my knees 

Daddy, I finally realized I'm okay,
I agree with mom, it's better this way.

by;pd


Details | Free verse | |

GRANDPA

*GRANDMA WAITS IN THE GARDEN*

Hi grandpa it's me again!
Your dentures sit in an open glass
Do you remember the tears grandma sang before she passed?
The way she looked into your eyes, 
Moments before she said her goodbyes
Grandpa, I found a note from grandma, she doesn't want you to cry.

Hi grandpa, it’s me again!
The rocking chair is old and dusty
Do you remember the way grandma sat me on her lap?
Read many stories before I took a nap
How she enjoyed brushing my hair with her hands
Love the way she rocked me to sleep every night until I grew. 

Hello grandpa!
I stored your hearing aid away
Do you remember that special musical box in grandma's drawer? 
I opened it last night, to watch the ballerina dance
I wish you could hear the tiny chimes grandma lived in
I hope you don’t mind, I’m keeping grandmothers favorite scarf.

Hello Grandpa!
I'm caressing grandma’s picture frame
Do you like the way she looked in that pretty sundress?
Grandpa, I miss the things grandmother did for you
I like the walking stick she handcrafted, the day your needed support
It kept you in balance every time we took long hikes in the woods.

Hello grandpa, it's me again! 
Here I sit holding your hand
I have no more tears
Soon you will see grandma
Please tell her hi, and I know you will be there the day I die
Bye, grandpa
Give grandma a kiss, and tell her I miss her

By; PD


Details | Rhyme | |

Suicide Mind

What makes the decision
To flick the switch
To end ones life
For the sake of it
 
Troubled, debts
Bullied at school
Fork in the road
To let death rule
 
Mums, dads
Daughters and sons
What ever affects them 
They just can't outrun
 
Sadness and tears
By all left behind
Will they ever understand
Suicide Mind


Details | Narrative | |

The Rose

Once bloomed a rose so young and fair
With dark brown eyes and long black hair

Beside her be a tall dark tree
Whose branches stretch to smother thee

Too close beside the shadowy bark
That soon begins to leave its mark

She cries for help, but none shall hear
Her thorns too sharp, who’d dare go near?

To save this rose, who’d risk their life?
With naught to gain but pain and strife

Alone, afraid, she lays to rest
Her heart beats low inside her chest

And with the hour growing near
She sheds her final grieving tear

And so the rose soon falls asunder
Her final day, eternal slumber

She lies beside the old dark tree
The only one who mourns for thee


Details | I do not know? | |

Questions for Dad

How do you do it...
   arrested again.
Paroled for awhile
   then back to the pen.
We know you don't mean it.
   We know that you care.
But when will you show it?
   When and where?
As much as we love you
   our hate runs that strong.
Why can't you stay with us?
   What are we doing wrong?
Are your friends to blame?
   Did they help cause this bust?
What should we feel?
   Who do we trust?
Who do we love?
    Who should we hate?
Why do you burden us
    with all your stuff
       on our plate?
It's too much to handle,
     we're too young to deal.
With the heartache we have,
     with the pain that we feel.

Your our Daddy, our idol,
     our mentor for sure.
Our anger, our hope,
     we need you here more.
Your smile, our tears
     your our happiness found.
Our twinkle, our fears,
     the reason we frown.
You want us to love you
     you want us to care
But Daddy, how can we...
     when your never there!


Details | I do not know? | |

Listen to Her Cry

How can you not understand?
How much I need you in my life.
If only you could be my friend
And listen to me when I cry.
A girl needs her father’s love
To be willingly; not forced.
When she trembles inside out
She really needs to hear your voice.
Not only setting certain rules.
Or telling her what not to do
But also in a quiet time.
Just telling her she’s really fine.
Don’t talk to her about mistakes.
She won’t forget them anyway.
Just tell her it’ll be okay
And listen to her when she cries.
She really needs her dad tonight
To be at home; to hold her tight.


Details | Marsiya | |

I'm my Daddy Made Over

Dedicated to my Dad Jerry W. Niday 3/20/1952 - 6/18/2013


I am who I am because of him
He’s the reason for my son’s name
He gave me my courage & my strength
To stand tall even when standing wasn’t easy
Stand for the ones who can’t
To think and fend for myself
I’m my Daddy made over

Taught me to fight back 
To never back down
How to pick myself back up
When I’ve been knocked down
Fight for what I believe
I’m my Daddy made over

He gave me my stubbornness 
Gave me my pride
Gave me my temper
Taught me not to take crap
To speak my mind no matter who
Work for what I want
I’m my Daddy made over

How to keep my emotions in check
How to handle large amounts of pain
When in trouble he always had my back
He knew how my mind worked better than anyone
I got it from him
I’m my Daddy made over

Even though he’s gone
I’ll stand and continue on 
I may stumble I may fall 
May even get hurt along the way
But I’ll pick myself back up
I’ll dust myself off and stand tall
I’m honored and proud to say
I’m my Daddy made over


Sabrina Niday Hansel



Details | Elegy | |

I Need Your Help Daddy

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here

I can’t get back in control of my emotions 
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy

I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help 

Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance 
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help







Details | Rhyme | |

Where Are You Now

Where are you now, my baby girl
You came into my life and changed my world
I had you in secret because no one could know
To whom you belonged
Whose seed was sown
You had to be hidden away
So no one would find out
My terrible secret
The one that kills me now
I don't know where you are
I don't know where you've gone
I don't know how in this world
I will be able to press on
You have been gone so many years
You are an adult now
Unaware of your secret 
Not knowing my vow
My baby girl I miss you! 
Even though I have never seen your eyes
They took you straight from me
And told me it was wise
I wish I could have held you
Before they took you away
No matter what I will find you
And with me always you will stay


I have gotten so many comments to this end and I wanted to ease everyone's mind that this is not autobiographical. I wanted to sincerely thank everyone for their heartfelt concern, but there is no need. This is (for me) only a poem and has no bearing in real life. Thanks so much everyone!


Details | Rhyme | |

Missing Mom

Please please PLEASE
Say you recognize ME - 
My face, my name;
Please say you know me today.
Say you know me, so we can converse,
A normal chat, words unrehearsed.
No more who are you’s, or who am I’s,
No more confusion when I stop by
I miss you mom and you’d miss me too,
If just once, you only knew…



Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Stranger,

I tried my best
To show you part of me.
The side of me
You've never seen.

I'm more than a daughter;
I'm an artist, a writer,
A sister, a friend
And now to you a stranger.

I have a question,
Have you ever realized
That I have my own voice
And I have my own life?

I'm not relinquishing my soul--
I won't sell it to anyone.
If I can't be myself
Then who will I become?

I have a mind of my own,
A heart and gifts.
I have a life of my own
And it's mine to live.

Yes, you gave me life,
But it's not yours to give.
You gave me this life
So I can learn to live.

Tell me, have we met?
Have you ever seen me?
Or did you just see my music,
My tee shirts and jeans?

It's not what I look like,
It's how I look at myself.
I'm embarrassed to show you it.
Only you and no one else.

Don't be disappointed,
Mad or upset.
Be happy I have morals,
A mind and self-respect.

I'm the person I want to be.
I stay true to myself,
Meaning I'm me.
I'm me for no one else.

I'm smart and independent
Because you made me this way.
I'm no longer fearful and afraid,
That's not how I wanted to stay.

Now do you know me?
Or should I continue?
I'm making you realize,
I'm not being rude.

So make your decision.
Please, I just want an answer.
Not to be disrespectful,
But are you my mom or my mother?


Details | Lyric | |

All on Me

All on Me

My childhood is sketchy too many
Holes 
Yet as those holes fill in
I do not like what I see
So many secrets 
So much pain
My innocence was lost
No wonder I never acted like a child
Still I feel like it was 

All on Me

Be strong, be brave 
Be silent 
Never tell a soul
No one will understand
This love we share
And so it went 

All on Me

Even now as I remember 
Each awful moment 
I wonder what I could have done
To avoid it all together
I wonder what would have happened 
If I had spoke up
However all the what ifs in the world
Will never change the fact that it is 

All on Me

Sometimes I feel like the 
Pain is going to last forever
I am so scared that the glimpse of happiness I once had 
Is all I will ever see
Yet I won’t give up and
I won’t give in
Because if I do then he will win
Then it will be

All on Me 

Instead of 

All on Him

By: Jeanna York
10-21-2013




Details | Free verse | |

In Her Fathers Arms

The evening star glowing in a dust choked sky. A girl stands by a window, with a tear in her eye. She stares at the scene, hardly visible through the grime. She whispers in the wind, “Bring my Dad home this time” She opens the window, and climbs outside, Having a flashlight, in her hand, as her guide. Its glow shows the sides of the street. She’s afraid for what the light will meet Bodies piled everywhere she turns, She wants to go home, and never return. What brought this fate upon her town? All her emotions are stripped and torn down. A frightening sound explodes in her ear. Shadows in the road now appear. She run and hides behind a broken wall Praying to god the rest doesn’t fall. Footsteps coming closer to her She can’t tell who because it’s all a blur She backs away further so not to be seen in light, Quieting her heart pounding from fright. Gun shots and screams fill the air, All these sounds, her ears couldn’t bear. A slight whimper slips from her lips, And over the broken stone she trips. The shadows run closer, showering her heart with fear, She wishes they would just disappear. They pass by her; she fills with delight, She just wants to see her dad tonight. She shines the light, to show her place, And to the shine comes a familiar face. She doesn’t understand who’s to blame Because on the tag shows her father’s name. She holds in her tears and refrains from crying. She falls to the ground where her dad was lying. She lifts his arm and buries her face in his chest. She closes her eyes wanting to forget the rest. The shadows emerge yet she doesn’t see, How close the end for her would be. They look down at her, aim, shoot, and fire. Being with her dad is her only desire. The night had ended causing a little girl harm But she took her last breath, in her father’s arms.


Details | Couplet | |

Marble in Columns on Green

On a slope graced with green
White marble stands in proud salute

For beneath these engraved pillars of memory
Lie the resting places of heroes

A solitary green fir looks down
As if sheltering the lost and the taken

So many names, from all walks of life
A father, brother a girlfriend or wife

On a sunny day, they glow radiant like their lives
On a dull day, they stand out against the greys

For the living, life goes on 
Tomorrow is another day


Details | Rhyme | |

Have You Been Hurt By Religion

Have You Been Hurt By “Religion”?

Are you tired of “religious people”
 knocking at your door?
You wish they’d leave...  “You can’t take it anymore!”

Have you been hurt by “church people” sometime in the past?
Somehow they hurt you...  And the pain continues to last…

Have you been “wounded” by something
 somebody has said?
Perhaps you wonder if “they wish you were dead…”

Perhaps there’s someone that you 
may have “befriended…”
They have done something that
 has hurt you and “offended.”

There’s probably many people that you wish would “go away.”
Because of something they’ve 
done to “darken your day.”

I’ve been there many times…  Believe me I know.
How someone’s actions or words can hurt your soul.

Even those who go to church are 
often not very kind.
And they don’t hesitate to 
give you “a piece of their mind.”

Religion is not the answer.  Look to Jesus 
and the life he gives!
He alone has the power to love
 and completely forgive!

It’s only in his shed blood that you can find atonement.
He can change your life now!  This very moment!

He can heal your broken heart and wounded spirit.
An everlasting joy and love...  He freely gives it!

He can do what no “church” or “religion” could ever do
He can restore your life today.  
And make you BRAND NEW!!!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love?

How can we hurt the very ones that we love?
How can we easily neglect our God above?

It seems like I often heard about many victims
Many times, it’s from a loved one who’s been with them!

The hate and the anger that boils from deep within.
Often “boils over” toward our family and friends.

It’s the love of Christ that we need to find!
His love can totally cleanse our life and mind!

The hearts of many families are bruised and broken.
By the harshness of many of the words spoken.

If we would allow Jesus to rule and reign.
We’d have little reason to murmur or complain.

If we would yield our lives to the master’s will…
The emptiness and brokenness, he shall fulfill!

If we could allow ourselves to sit at Jesus’ feet…
He can make any family totally complete!

If we could just listen to what Christ has to say.
His words of life would brighten our day!

As a family…  Won’t you give HIM a chance?
And allow his love to change your circumstance!

Won’t you allow his spirit to bind you together?
You can experience his peace today and forever!

He can change your family throughout!
This is his will and what God is all about!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Die alone and born again

The man with the plastic bug in his head
monopolized my dreams last night
in the place that the horsefly of my dignity
finally surrender to the impresario without a fight.

Seven days and 7 hours transplanted in my memorabilia
reminding the rustiness of the purple child
flatterers danced beneath the clouds of melancholy
and morality spreader the master plan inside my mind.

The disinheritance of my immortality the final day
discouraged my desire to see the forbidden love
restored my will to escape
manipulated the deep of the uncertainty above.

Released from the plastic bug in my head
try to cover my yellow child in the purple sky
laughing,singing,whispering,playing
seven days and seven hours before he dies.


Details | I do not know? | |

Wish I Was Your Addiction

Wish I was your addiction,
Upon a star non fiction,
never ending hole so deep,
Life would seem more complete

If you'd wake up, 
crack open my bedroom door,
To think you'd been dreaming about me,
God gave you everything you need and more,
What Id give to feel those arms hug me,
genuinely, honestly, no love withholding

If I was your vice,
I would be the answer to your stress,
Of all else you try,
I'd always bring out the best,
You'd spend time with me ,
defend me to the end,
You'd be incredibly loyal,
I'd consider you my best friend

No recovery program could treat,
the connection we'd share no one could defeat,
You'd need to see my all the time,
reminders of me everywhere, your life would be a shrine,

Wish I was your addiction,
Upon a star non fiction
never ending hole so deep,
Life would seem more complete


Details | I do not know? | |

Did I Remember To Tell You Daddy

Almost three years now Daddy
since you were taken away
I thank God you no longer suffer
but I had so much more to say

But you and I were always very close
and I know that we still are
So be free to enjoy family and friends
I know you'll never be far

Oh but  Daddy
Did I remember to thank you 
for coming to stay with the kids and I 
At times you thought you were a burden
but if anyone was it was I

And I want to tell you too Daddy
that you would be so proud of them all
Brandon's now a sergeant with a son on the way
Cam Jeremy is due early fall

And your little Sarah Daddy
you would be so very proud
She's a tiny little thing, still a great mom
and has the best boys in any crowd

And I'm sure you've been watching Curtis
So you know he's just like you
And he is living up to the promise he made
Yes Daddy I'm very proud too

Oh and one more thing 
before I lay down to rest
Did I remember to tell you and the world
that
 My Daddy's the best

Loving you and missing you always
Your baby girl


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 1 of 2

Around that table, picture the scene
Self appointed leaders if you know what I mean
What were the topics on the Agenda that day
The Jewish race is about to pay

Who gave the right for this decision that's made
Who has the right to cleanse and degrade
To decide who lived, to decide who dies
Another chapter, I still wonder why

They came in the day they came in the night
Women and children pulled out of sight
Herded aboard like cattle and sheep
Many a family awoke from their sleep

Dazed and confused as they are taken away
Where will they be at the end of the day
From their warm houses and their warm beds
What must be going through their heads

As they travel through days and through the night
Up ahead, they see lots of lights
They depart the trucks and board the train
Their faces scared under the strain

Asking questions from family and others
Generations, sisters and brothers
Why are we here, where are we going
Windowless carriages with no way of knowing

We come to a stop, soldiers aplenty
Towers and wire, topped with sentries
What can this place be they have taken us to
As we head to large gates as they shuffle us through

Families separated, herded in file
Women and children, not one did smile
Taken to rooms where our heads were shaved
Is this the way humans behaved

Clothes discarded, as we enter the shower
No signs of water no signs of power
Doors slammed as we are all crammed in
History will recall this evil of sins

As we stand in the dark, chanting Jewish faith
Can hear the voices can't see the face
Noises above, do the showers start
The event has begun that tells us Humans apart

Questions and sighs, as walled vents show daylight
Some thing is falling then their slammed tight
A strange aroma starts to fill the air
As all around are screams of despair

Twenty minutes have passed and the quietness is rife
Two thousand people, two thousand lives
Pellets called HCN, or Hydrogen Cyanide
Contribute to this Genocide


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | I do not know? | |

God's Plan

All I can do is wonder. 
I'll never really know. 
OI'll never get to hug her, 
and she'll never see me grow.
When I wake up tommorrow, 
this nightmare won't be gone.
I'll never have what I took for granted, 
a chance to know my Mom. 

I know I shouldn't cry, 
because that won't bring her back.
It doesn't make up for the emptiness
or the love that I lack.
I'm almost grown up now.
I did it all by myself.
But I can't help but wish
I could be like everyone else.

I'm excluded from some "special bond"
and memories to be shared.
When all I ever asked for
was to have someone who cared.
The tearstains on my pillow
outnumber memories.
The only way I know her
is to see her in my dreams.

Daddy said she loved me,
but God called her home.
I don't know why he took her, 
the only Mom I'd ever known.
I guess he has a hidden plan, 
a reason I can't see.
I'm waiting for it to come together
and work out okay for me. 

I hope I'll understand some day
just what God has in mind. 
So no matter how much I miss my mother
I'll follow God's plan and be alright.


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 2 of 2

After the quiet we all have to go
Dragged and carted by the Sonderkommando
To be dumped in pits covered by lime
A race to dispose by it's Human slime

Auschwitz, Buchenwald & Dachau slaughtered
Many a son, many a daughter
Experiments on children women and men
Some aged 90, many under 10

In 45, their end was near, how many alive would reappear
As Russians, British and US troops
Chased the Hun to their German roots
Each camp reached showed it's sordid past
Where millions of me, were massively gassed

In Auschwitz, to this present day
Birds don't fly, no animals play
The reminder is all for there to see
Those terrible days what happened to me

It's 1948, our Nation is born
From histories past, populations torn
To all who survived I wish you well
And our new born world, called Israel 


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Gone

As the tears fall down from my face,
I think about that magical place.
You took me there when I was young,
but that was before the pain begun.
You walked me down the road of life,
preparing me to be a mother and a wife.
You would hold my hand and say have no fear,
mommy's not going anywhere, I'll always be here.
But that was wrong and so were you,
you left me mom, what am I to do?
I've been told life goes on,
but it can't be, because you're still gone.
I pray at night to see you in my dreams,
but you're never there, just terror and screams.
How could this happen, how could this be?
The woman I love so dearly up and left me.
I go to the grave every afternoon,
I sang our favorite song, it was a nice little tune.
But since your gone I've changed some things,
about marriage and babies and diamond rings.
Those things are not important to me now,
I ask myself, how did this happen, when and how?
You let yourself go to that place in the sky,
but it happened so sudden mom, please tell me why?
You left me a note by your bed,
you wrote moments before you ended up dead.
Please tell me why you took your own life,
you were a such loving mother and a dear wife.
You didn't write much, just a few lines,
to tell me you love me, and it would be better in time.
But now that your gone, it's not better at all,
I just lay in my bed, I scream and I bawl.
To know what you done, it's too hard to bare,
I stand at your grave with a cold desperate stare.
You were a daughter, a loving mother, and a dear wife,
Why did you do it mom, why did you use that knife?
I wonder everyday, it's all I think about,
There's only one thing it could be, without a doubt.
You went to a dark place, filled with murder and thugs,
I know why I lost you mom, you could no longer fight the drugs.
You could have reached out and told someone before,
now it's too late, death has already knocked and opened your door. 
I'm sorry, so sorry, I could not see,
the reason you are dead is because of me.
I wasn't there to help when you needed me most,
Now I can't see you, not an image or a ghost.
I've answered my question, I just waited too long,
I know my mistake now, but it's too late, your gone.


Details | Narrative | |

she dying to survive

deprived of a father to tell her that her skirts to small
she wore it to hug her hips and rise with every sway in her walk
her mother, another statistic of having babies to young,
was to whipped in her dip trying to be hip so she cheered her poor child on

she's dying to survive in a broken home
daddy not around to watch her spend a penny and mamas hardly home
she's dying to survive and she's put her school on hold
she's another undereducated black child with no priorities or goals

she careers soliciting her body, making it hobby to walk up and down blocks
waiting for the right brotha she can sweet talk and pick pocket
at the honk of his horn, she stops hot trotting
hopped in his car and found a quiet spot for lip locking

her hand rises up his leg, she feels for his man
he nods giving her consent
she prices her body for those new Jordan and dolce & gabbani
she'd rather rock the latest fashions then to feed her starving body

she's hopelessly devoted to being the hottest at the parties
she's dying to survive wanting attention to feel the space neglected by another 
who makes alcohol a hobby
she's dying to survive rich living is her poverty

she's deaf to her inner voice that yells to her it's wrong
she confides in bad associates who cheer her on
she doesn't know this is how she's dying
she's dying to survive


Details | Rhyme | |

She Died Right There Before Me

To me, she could've said anything
I wanted so badly to hear her say,
"I love you and I'm gonna try."
But all she said is "I just can't stay."
She looked away, I stared her down.
I needed to see her eyes.
She looked at me and that's when I knew...
THIS IS THE DAY MY MOTHER DIES.
She died right there before me.
I watched her fade away.
Her eyes were glossing over
as I begged her "PLEASE, JUST STAY!"
She said goodbye and drove away.
I've learned to deal with loss.
But, now she says "I'm coming back!"
She doesn't know the cost.
To me she's dead, she can't come back.
She'll have to remember the day
that she died right there before me
when she said she couldn't stay.


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Messiah

Something breaks inside this musty beggar.
As he awakes to see he's on 6th Avenue.
Where he sat and sang and endured the weather.
Where he sat and sang and sung the truth.
But the world didn't view things the way he used to. 
And couldn't seem to make them believe. 
The way that he saw things. 
The way that it should be. 

But I heard him play, like holy water.
And it opened up my eyes.
This man in tattered clothing; he's a, messiah, in disguise.
And I will sadly sing these awful songs. 
That were made in his design.  
Like music he sang all along.
Like music that's divine.

But Then his lovely daughter died. 
And he couldn't handle the grief.
He wrote one last sobbing song. 
And they found him in week.
Huddled in inside an alley-way.
Where he died inside his sleep. 
Dreaming on his daughter's eyes. 
Dreaming that he weeps. 

And now I'm singing songs about his daughter.
That brings a tear into to my eye.
This man in tattered clothing; he's a, messiah in disguise. 
So I will sadly sing these awful songs.
That were made in his design.


Details | I do not know? | |

I miss u(R.I.P Velma j Smith)

I miss you mom,
and I could tell you a million reasons why
the way you use to take care of me
when I was sick or in need at night or day.
and sometimes when I wasn't happy
maybe I'll be depressed,sad,or mad
You would always come to comfort me and make me laugh and smile
I miss u mom
so very,very much
i sometimes just miss u so much until,I'll curve your name in my arm,or just began to 
cry just thinking of u.
I miss u mom,
why did the man above have to take your life away?
i only got to be with u for 9 years that's it
that's not even enough time,for all of the year i got before me without u in my life
I miss u mom.
i sometimes see u in my dreams at night
and in my mind all of the time
i love and miss u a lot
but i try not to think of u that much,because it hurts so bad when i cry a river of 
tears,just for u
but i guess that's a good thing mom
because I'm still loving u and will always love,miss and respect u
even though your gone to a better place...
I MISS U MOM.


Details | Free verse | |

your lies, my truth.

you tell me i am precious to you.
i am not your currency.
you tell me the circumstances are beyond our control.
but i control everything,
every breath,
every word that leaks from my mouth.
you made me this way,
shaped me from wax,
using knives and tears to make scars in my form.
you tell me you have loved me,
forever,
and until your dying day.
these words slither from your tongue.
you could never have loved me,
its not something thats easy to do.
you dont care what path my life takes,
you dont know what i have been forced into.
you dont want love,
you want control.
you don't want a daughter,
you want a follower.
i have accepted that i have no mother,
that i was created by life's sick fantasy.
i wanted to love you,
when there was still a chance.
so don't lie to me anymore,
don't tell me that it doesnt have to be this way.
it does.
dont thank god for me.
there is no god.
and i am just a curse,
because i hurt you.
you preach that you have room for me in your heart, that you think of me everyday.
and i think of you,
in the morning when i wake,
and in the night when i rest my head.
nothing can ever be easy,
or understandable.
in my heart, there are only cracks
and cobwebs where you might have been before.
it throbs and convulses, refusing love.
i couldnt love anyone,
not if i tried.
not if i wanted.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

72 hours

(This is a fictional poem)

For the last seventy-two hours I've been going through hell.
My daughter was playing and she fell down a well.
I feel so helpless even though the rescue workers assure me that they'll get her 
out of there.
I've lived for over thirty-five years and this is the first time that I've been scared.
I just got wonderful news, they got her out and she isn't dead.
I'm so grateful because without her, I couldn't have lived during the years ahead.


Details | Rhyme | |

Daddy's Lost

Never being there hurt you so
Desiring to help me grow
Help my childhood progress
It made you feel worthless

What AM I taking about?
Cause day in day out
You missing me was a joke
You never loved what you broke

Another too lost and scared
Though I can’t say I never cared
And I can’t say I’m not sad
But even you should know dad

That never coming to see me
I dealt with to a tolerable degree
And that I’ll always question
When I’ll hear your confession

Will I ever get to see you dad
Or have I truly been had
I guess I have to wait some more
‘Cause it’s always you I’ll be looking for


Details | I do not know? | |

My Dad

Every little girl
has one thing she can count on
Her Dad
That may be true
for many of you
But me and my Dad
aren't very close together
We fight and fight
he puts me down
Like i was just some dog
He says that he hates
to lug me around
He said i was a burdon
and that made me frown
He tells me i wasn't planned
An unwanted child that showed up
Unexpected 
A child that was not wanted even after it was born
My Dad and I 
don't speak very often 
only when forced to 
do we speak or even look at one another
Hopefully one day,
the man who i call my dad
Will actually become a Dad 
and say he loves his young child


Details | Free verse | |

one eye open

She lay sleeping with hidden sorrow.
I lay at rest one eye opened.
My mind races for answers not yet asked.

This hurt is so deep. Hers or mine?
Life seems so sad for the young or old?

Would she end all so soon?
This love is not deep.
Selfish, coward, loser.

So young to leave and rest.
Leave me with one eye opened.

Life is not fair to some so young.
To take a life at ones on hand
is to leave a soul uneasy.
And sleeps with one eye opened.

Rest now beside to one who's 
love was not deep. Easy escape.
No tears, no sorrow, no pain.

Suns up now and yet another
morn  is the dawn.
As I arise time stands still,
to wipe a tear from the eye of sleep
For I now sleep with one eye opened.


Details | Epic | |

We Lost More Than a Dad

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost half of how we came to be
We lost we four girls first love
We lost our Best Friend

We lost more than just a Dad that day
Our Mom lost her Soul Mate, Her other half 
Our children lost their Papaw
We lost our family’s foundation 
We lost the glue that held us together

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost the Strongest man we ever knew 
We lost the man we looked up too
We lost we four girls Teacher of many things

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We four girls lost our Hero
We lost some of our Light
We lost part of our Heart
We lost part of our Soul

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost some of our Courage
We lost some of our Strength
We lost some of our will to fight back
We lost some of our will to carry on
We four girls lost more than a Dad
We lost more than just a Dad that day


Details | Lyric | |

I Hate You Cancer

Dedicated to my Dad who lost his short battle w/ Colon Cancer on June 18,2013

I hate you Cancer
Your vile evil and cruel
You don't care who you hurt
I'll never forget that day
I'll always hate you for it

Your heartless Cancer
You took someone important from me
Someone important from others too
Took people who didn't belong to you
I hate you for it

You disgust me Cancer
You had no right to take him from me
He mattered more than my very own life
I hate you for taking my Daddy
I hate you for taking others too

I hate you with a passion Cancer
You took part of my heart with him
You took part of my soul that day too
I hate you for it
I hate you I hate you I hate you

I hate you with every fiber of my being 
Go back to Hell where you belong
I hate you, others hate you
Your not welcome or wanted here Cancer

I hate you more than his doctor's
I hate you more than God
I hope I get to witness that day
Witness the day you fall
And you will fall Cancer

You're gonna lose the battle one day Cancer
I'm gonna laugh and dance around your grave
You'll finally get what you deserve 
And you'll never be able to take another soul


Sabrina Niday Hansel


______________________________________________________________________
Placed 8th in Poet Destroyer A's  2013 "PINKTOBER" Contest

Please Support a Cure for Colon Cancer & every other type!









Details | Elegy | |

Eternity

Eternity

Many times, I saw my spirit.
Many times, I felt my soul.
In life, I lived courageous.
Now it is time for me to journey home.

If you cry, that is fine.
If you laugh, that is better than a cry.
Rejoice in my life and shout praise.

For I am 
Therefore, I shall be
In peace, I leave this world.
To my love ones, I am with the Lord.

Sure happy to have lived
Not sad that my time has come
The benevolence of the spiritual realm is a breeze from a waterfall.

The Lord is my keeper.
He called me home.
No more sadness let us all rejoice.

Ms. Carrie Mae Sexton is now reunited with Jehovah God Lord.  A woman of statue... 
A woman of worth... All that knew her will truly miss her.

Never a life lost but one done with the world and because she walked a virtuous path, her life is shown.  The Lord knows best and we must know the same.   Our mother sojourns and in peace, she lays.

[“Be assured that just as an hour is only part of a day so life on Earth is only part of eternity.” C.L. Allen]

User Name: Verlena
Psuedonym: Oblivion Dark Sunshine
Motif: Grief and Bereavement

-Contest Enter: Space & Time - Metaphorically written... Eternity is space and time...  February 2014


Details | Munaajaat | |

Tell Me

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know

Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know

Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that

You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know

You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me, Help me to understand

You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel

How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door

You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't take his place
Answer me, you owe me that much



Sabrina Niday Hansel
~Niday40873~

(motif) Spiritual


Details | Lyric | |

Don't Cry

Please don't cry over my casket 
For I am not there 
Please don't cry at my grave 
My soul has been set free 
I know it's hard not to cry 
I've been down that road one to many times 

I have no more pain 
I have no more sickness 
And I would not change a thing 
As I walk threw the gates of Heaven 
Mom Dad our brothers and sisters 
Will welcome me with open arms 
Here I am free of that pain 

Don't blame yourself 
It was my time to go home 
This is where I'm supposed to be 
Don't dwell on things which you can not change 
I will always be in your heart 

I will always be watching over you 
When that day comes for you to come home
I will be there to welcome you 
With open arms
And walk you threw the gates of Heaven 
You will be greeted by our family & friends
Who came home before you 
Until that day I will be watching over you


Details | Sonnet | |

A BLESSED CHILD

When you miss a child,
Of your very own,
That is your flesh and blood,
You begin to wonder,
Where did you go wrong,
In your own life,
Instead of looking,
At the beautiful life,
You created,
This you must remember,
So many of the difficult times,
Cause of the times you did share together,
For your children will remember more,
Than you really want to give them credit for,
And they will always remember you,
As their loving parent,
For loving them so much,
More than you will ever know,
And you will never forget them,
Just as you hope,
You will never be forgotten,
From their lives,
Forever more,
As well.


Details | Narrative | |

The Cook and His Dish

Pity her as she cried 
On the floor, ragged, she lied
She's covered with odd bruises
And hell things on mind cruises

She was there left alone
Mourning for help at home.
Hungry and parched she was,
Hoping someone would pass

“Click! Click!”, the door knob sounds
At last someone’s around.
Who’s there? Who could that be?
At last! She will be free!

But it widened her eyes
Scared and again she cried
‘Twas a man who appeared
Went to her and she feared.

He touched her hair and said
“Hush! Hush! Just go to bed
Stay quite, don’t be a heck!”
And kissed her on the neck.

Poor girl, she just abide
To the man whom she feared
“Why is he doing this?
I’m his daughter, why’s this?”

In the bedroom they were;
Father started kissing her.
Poor lil girl can’t defy
If she speak up, she’ll die.

“Oh my Lord, please help me,
I can’t take it, save me.”
Said her mind as tears flowed
Grieving in pain; she moaned.

Then suddenly she smiled
From what she heard outside.
A sudden hope in her eyes gleamed
From something she perceived.


She heard her mother’s voice
"I'll be saved" she rejoiced
“A miracle for me
Lord replied to my plea.”

And the door opened
Mother saw what happened
Shocked and startled she was
Then screamed for help, at last!

Mother bellowed and slapped him
Outraged and said to him
“She is your daughter!
Why did you rape her?”

Then neighbors came
Naked -- poor girl was ashamed
Dazed and shaken they were
Staring at poor girl and her father.

Then two cops came along
Grabbed the father for his wrong
He panicked and dreaded
Denied all he acted

Livid and offended 
Lil girl stood and stated
“Oh yes, that man raped me,
Not just once but many times.” 

Then her father uttered
“My dish is my daughter.
I’m the one who made her,
So I should also taste her.”

Wretched from what she heard
She spoke not a single word
Woeful and quite, she sniveled
Suddenly collapsed and fell

At last poor girl’s now free
From nightmare and agony
Yes she has a father
But she’s his dish not his daughter.


Details | Free verse | |

Nobody's Child

Her chapped palms smell of
-ungrateful jasmine-
roughened by shrewd plays of world.
And in the creases of
- youthful forehead-
sleeps an orphaned childhood, old.

Among distasteful leering,
ineffectual rags of
-modesty cries-
unfortunate beauty trapped among
-lechers-
pawn broker and hawker alike.

-Nobody’s Child -
gazes high UP , at the
  S
  K
  Y
  S
  C
  R
  A
  P
  E
  R
  S ,
elegant unreachable stairs
winding beyond clouds yonder. 

S L O W L Y sighing,
At the dreams hidden, on the dark side of
half bitten moon.


Details | Elegy | |

Raindrops and Teardrops


Details | Elegy | |

A TEAR FOR DADDY

written 22nd Oct 2013



Even after sixteen years
 still I cry your daughters tears
Every year on this day, will always be sad
 known only as the date, God took my dad

    1st June 1954- 22nd Oct 1997
    
         Allan Thomas Holmes


Details | Ballad | |

The Angel We Gave To You

The Angel We Gave To You...

He could have taken anyone
But no one really knew 
Of all the people in this world
God had chosen you

Your little face so beautiful
We loved you from the start
Every tiny part of you
Engraved upon our hearts

Every precious moment 
Every hour that you gave
Every time we held you
Was a precious memory made

We’ll never see you smile
We will never watch you grow
Which makes the time we had with you
More precious that you know

Everyday we'll send you
Love and kisses up above
For nothing’s greater in this world
Than mummy and daddy’s love 

In times of pain and sadness 
When we feel all hope is gone
We’ll know that in your sister, and our hearts
You will live on

And when we go to bed each night 
We’ll close our eyes and pray
We’ll put our hands together  
And this to God we’ll say

“You’ve taken someone special
Who we love more than you know
So brave, but very fragile
So with you she had to go

Please wrap her in your tender arms 
And love her like we do
And cherish every moment
The Angel…we gave to you”

For Ruby  xxXxx


Details | Free verse | |

Polly's Bench

It hides in the shade, as the leaves dwindle down.
The paint may be fading, but the seat is quite sound.

Some will sit in the shade, forgetting the tears,
without giving much notice, or to think of the years,
or to ponder the pain, that once rained on our world.

There was a black, tragic day, that cruelly erased
an innocent child, with a sweet, gentle face.

                   Traces of heartache still linger in place.
 
I rest for awhile, as I sit in the shade, 
while a breath-holding sigh returns once again, 
         Clouds cover the sunlight, that wants to pour in.

Something swept through the heart, of this small coastal town,
and still touches me deeply, in a personal way.
I watch from the playground, of this small charter school,
where my granddaughter plays in the cool, ocean dew.

I remember again, with a soft whispered prayer,
for the children who play here, perhaps some who will weep here.
To keep them in comfort, and in safe loving arms.
To keep every childhood from evil and harm.

Carved in the bench is a name of a child
A twelve year old girl, who attended this school.
It's the same little school, where my granddaughter plays
and learns daily lessons, every child needs to know.

So we sit in shade, on this sage colored bench,
then she goes to her class, where she basks in the love.
She has asked all the questions that shouldn't be asked
and spends all her days at the task of a child...
With smiles for her teachers, just as Polly had smiled
She runs through green grass, where Polly had been...

This is the school, where my granddaughter goes
She brought me to see, where a new garden grows, 
and showed me a bench that sits under trees

....and together we share, of what a child shouldn't know


I sit with her now, with the robins and finches...


We trace Polly's name, then our fingers embrace,
       in the shade of the trees... 
                                          ....on a sage colored bench





______________________
A true story....
     To see Polly's Story...  http://www.pollyklaas.org/about/pollys-story.html
_____________________________________________________

Was earlier submitted in the Contest: "Anything Goes"
But a story I felt I needed to tell........sad, but true...my granddaughter 
attended the same school  where Polly had earlier been a student.
A bench was dedicated in the name of Polly Klaas  in remembrance of that terrible event 

3/23/13  For Nette's contest "Take Two", by Carrie Richards


Details | Rhyme | |

OUR BABY GIRL TURNS 21

OUR BABY GIRL TURNS 21

ON 1ST JULY 1990~ THE ANGELS DID SOMETHING ALMIGHTY
FROM HEAVEN THEY SENT US OUR LIFE-LONG DESIRE-A PRECIOUS DAUGHTER TO LOVE AND ADMIRE.
TRUE TO YOUR NATURE YOU ARRIVED WITHOUT FUSS OR PAIN--THE FIRST TIME OUR EYES MET WE KNEW OUR LIVES WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME

AS A BABY AND TODDLER YOU MADE US SO PROUD
YOUR VERY LONG HAIR, GREEN EYES AND SMILE-
ALL THOSE GOOD LOOKS MADE YOU STAND OUT IN A CROWD
YOU STARTED TALKING EARLY WITH MANY VOICEPRINTS 
YOUR CHARM AND GOOD LOOKS HAVE NOT STOPPED SINCE
YOU LOVED YOUR DOLLS AND PRAMS-- DREAMT OF BEING A “SINGER”
 AND VERY QUICKLY LEARNED HOW TO WRAP YOUR DAD AROUND YOUR LITTLE FINGER
YOUR BIG BROTHER DEVON--BEST FRIEND AND PROTECTER 
MOST OF THE TIME YOU GOT ON PERFECTLY TOGETHER

FROM AN EARLY AGE YOU SHOWED YOUR LOVE OF SWIMMING
AGE TWO AND A HALF YOU WERE ABLE AND WILLING
TO SWIM UNDER WATER AND DO MANY LENGTHS
THIS WAS CLEARLY ONE OF YOUR SPORTING STRENGTHS
AT AGE THREE YOU COULD BARELY WAIT TO START PLAYSCHOOL
“MISS INDEPENDENCE”, WAS YOUR GENERAL RULE
THE SLIDE AND JUNGLE GYM WERE YOUR FAVOURITE SPOTS
 AND TO OUR HORROR YOU WOULD CLIMB RIGHT TO THE TOP!
AT AROUND THIS TIME, YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND YOU MET-
 HE LIVED NEXT DOOR, AND HIS NAME WAS BRETT

SOON IT WAS TIME FOR  PRE-SCHOOL
YOU LOVED YOUR TEACHER--YOUR NEW FRIENDS WERE COOL
‘SPRING BONNETS’ AND THE END OF YEAR SCHOOL PLAYS
THE TEDDY BEAR CLASS GAVE YOU SOME REAL SPECIAL DAYS
NEXT WAS ‘BIG SCHOOL’ AND YOUR FIRST CLASS
WE WERE SERIOUSLY ANXIOUS BUT FOR YOU JUST ANOTHER ‘MISS INDEPENDENCE’ TASK
LETTERLAND, MATHS AND LEARNING TO READ
YOU EXCELLED AT ALL THAT WITH INCREDIBLE SPEED
YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS CONTINUED THROUGH GRADES 2, 3 AND FOUR
YOUR PLACE IN THE SWIMMING TEAM HELPED YOUR SCHOOL WIN MORE

OUR MOVE TO AUSTRALIA… SAD FAREWELLS TO YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR PETS 
BUT, GREAT EXCITEMENT YOU FELT AT ADVENTURES TO BE MET
A NEW SCHOOL--“METHODIST LADIES COLLEGE”
NEW FRIENDS--JUMPING A GRADE-- MET WITH SUCH POSITIVE COURAGE
YOU MADE US SO PROUD IN THE WAY YOU ADAPTED
MRS. WILLIAMSON SAID YOU WERE THEIR NEW CLASS ‘ASSETT’
.
THE ‘MR BEE’ SPELLING AWARD AND MANY MERITS LATER 
WE ALL GOT HOMESICK-- BUT YOUR POSITIVE NATURE DID NOT WAVER
THE DECISION WE MADE TO RETURN TO CAPE TOWN 
CAUSED YOU HEARTBROCKEN TEARS AND A PERMANENT FROWN
ONCE AGAIN A SAD FAREWELL TO YOUR NEW FOUND FRIENDS 
RETURNING TO S.A. FOR OLD ONES TO MAKE AMMENDS

IT WASN’T VERY LONG THAT YOU PICKED UP WHERE YOU LEFT OFF AT ALL
 ADDED TO YOUR TALENTS WERE NOW TEAM HOCKEY AND NETBALL

AS YOU APPROACHED THE FIRST OF YOUR TEEN YEARS
WITH YOUR LOOKS AND CHARM, INEVITABLY THE BOYFRIENDS WOULD APPEAR
SHOPPING, MOVIES AND MANY PARTY SLEEP-OVERS
CHOOSING TRUE FRIENDS AND DUMPING THE LOSERS
DANCE SHOWS AND DANCING EXAMS… YOU EXCELLED AT HIP- HOP
 FUN AND OF COURSE THE DESIRE TO SHOP

THE END OF JUNIOR SCHOOL-- THE FINAL ASSEMBLY—AWARDS
TROPHIES FOR SPORTSMANSHIP AND YOUR S.R.C. PRIZE GOT MANY APPLAUDS
SAD FEELINGS AT LEAVING YOUR OLD SCHOOL BEHIND 
EXCITEMENT AT STARTING HIGH SCHOOL WOULD SOON COME TO MIND
NO PROBLEM TO YOU, IT WAS ALL JUST A BREEZE 
AS YEAR BY YEAR YOU CONTINUED TO ACHIEVE
SWIMMING AND ‘A’ TEAM HOCKY MATCHES ON THE ASTRO TURF 
YOU EVEN STARTED TO LEARN HOW TO SURF
FRIDAY AFTERNOON CHRISTIAN MEETINGS AND EVENING CHURCH YOUTH
WE WERE SO HAPPY YOU FOUND GOD AND HIS TRUTH

THE REST OF HIGH SCHOOL PASSED IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE WHILE 
YOUR LIST OF ACHIEVEMENTS REMAINED EXCEPTIONALLY HIGH
YOUR ORGANISATIONAL SKILLS WERE ASTOUNDING
COPING WITH TOUGH SUBJECTS LIKE MATHS, SCIENCE AND ACCOUNTING
IN HOCKEY AND SWIMMING YOU MADE THE TOP TEAMS
NO SURPRISE AT ALL THAT SWIMMING COACHES MOVED IN ON THE SCENE.

THEY CULTIVATED YOUR TALENTS FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH
EVERY YOUR NIGHT YOUR PASSION SAW YOU DOING MANY LENGTHS
WEEKENDS OF GALA’S AND NATIONAL SWIMMING
S.A.SHORT COURSE, YOUR P.B’S, AND FAIR SHARE OF WINNING
TOGETHER WE CELEBRATED YOUR PLACE IN   W.P. SCHOOL CHAMPS THAT YEAR 
SO PROUD OF OUR BEAUTIFUL SWIMMER ALWAYS AHEAD OF HER PEERS 
.
FIRST YEAR AT UNIVERSITY YOU BECAME SO INDEPENDENT
 STARTING YOUR STUDIES AS A B.Sc. STUDENT
IT WAS ALSO THE YEAR YOU LEARNED TO DRIVE
GOT YOUR LICENSE—DAD SPOILT YOU—NEW CAR—RESPLENDENT


YOUR FAITH AND TRUST IN THE LORD STILL REMAINS FIRM
AS YOU WALK AND GROW SPIRITUALLY DAILY WITH HIM

SO MUCH HAS CHANGED, AND YET SOME THINGS REMAIN
YOU BEAUTY AND TALENTS SO EASILY MAINTAINED
YOUR  LOVE OF SWIMMING AND OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENTS IN WATER
YOU KNOW WE WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR NO. 1 SUPPORTERS
AND NOW YOU ARE 21, SWEETHEART 
YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU-- TODAY IS JUST THE START
IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY THAT YOU WERE BORN—
OUR DAUGHTER~LOVES BRIGHT SHINING LIGHT~ WE ADORE
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED IN EVERY WAY 
WISHING YOU GOD’S RICHEST BLESSINGS ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TO OUR BABY GIRL

TO HAVE YOU AS A DAUGHTER HAS BEEN A REAL PLEASURE
-YOU HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL BE OUR MOST BEAUTIFUL TREASURE-

(FOOTNOTE: OUR DAUGHTER WILL BE 23 THIS YEAR, HAS COMPLETED HER BSc. AND HONOURS DEGREE’S IN PHYSIOLOGY AND GENETICS AND NOW DOING HER MASTERS DEGREE IN EXERCISE SCIENCE. SHE IS ALSO A PROFESSIONAL TRIATHLETE—DOING SWIMMING, CYCLING AND RUNNING AS ONE DISCLIPLINE)


Details | Free verse | |

Final Adieu

Final Adieu

Let another sun set,
Let another flower wilt,
Let another autumn cast its gloom,
Let another tear role,
As ye part, and bid
The final adieu.

Suyash Saxena
St. Stephen’s college


Details | Ballad | |

Please Listen To Her Prayer


While you’re watching over all your children from above

Listening as they send to you a prayer

Please God will you take some time to listen to my child

And find a way to let her know you’re there



Through the years she suffered a very tragic loss

Her happy life was shattered; torn apart

She tries so hard to hide the lonely tears she cries at night 

She tries so hard to hide her broken heart



Through the years she put aside her sadness and her pain

And found the strength to be both mum and dad

She never let them see the hurt, they only saw her smile

Although she’d lost the only love she had



She's struggled through the ups and downs that losing someone brings

She battled on and fears were cast aside

But every day I see the hurt and pain I know she feels

I see the unshed tears that fill her eyes



But now I see her worrying for someone else she loves

Her child...her precious life and soul

I watch the pain and sadness returning to her life

I watch the years of heartache take its toll  



So please God will you take a while and listen to her prayers

Let her worries, and her burdens cease

Take away her pain and sorrow, dry her lonely tears

And help my daughter find a sense of peace



I need for her to know you’re there no matter what life brings

To guide her when I know she's lost her way

I need to know that once again a smile will reach her eyes

That happiness, she will find again someday...






Details | Rhyme | |

If I Had One Wish

So many thoughts come to mind If only I could really go back in time Change or undo my life’s violent and sexual crimes Tell those around me to open their eyes Pay Attention to the signs If only one wish could really rewind Those pedophilic hands of my life-time… Then I stopped and started to think Who would I be if this didn’t happen to me? What of the woman I’d come to be The wisdom I’d come to see And my children who’s lives are abuse free As a result of my past… my history… Now, with eyes wide and mind free Heart pounding, air, LOVE and life in me Blessed with children to change my legacy, Equipped with words and strength to share my story… my poetry I’d wish only to open the eyes of the blind The mouths of the abused and the hearts of our society… I’d make them see… I’d make them see So no other child has to end up like me… Lay
** For the "If I Had One Wish Contest"


Details | Lyric | |

Forever Changed

June 18, 2013 our world was Forever Changed
We where over halfway home
When we got the call from our baby sister

Said we need to get back home
We need to come as fast as we can drive
Mom really needs us
Something’s wrong with Daddy
The whole way we drove 80
Hoping & Praying we’d make it in time

Our Family & Friends were weeping 
By the time we got to his side
We knew our Daddy had been taking
And our hearts they were breaking
We never got to say Goodbye
We each softly kissed that man
We four sisters climbed in his bed 
We laid down beside him 
And cried just like babies
For our world was Forever Changed 
 
 


Details | Kyrielle | |

Raven's End

I know that taking my life is a sin,
But you don’t know how much pain I am in;
Death is better than this hell I’ve been through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

My tortured soul robs me of breath,
All I seek is the release of death;
Requesting redemption in the gun I cling to,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

I’m considering briefly the life I must end,
Nothing is left but the chance to transcend;
And this decaying body that I pass through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

Raven they named me, but now they are gone,
I’m all alone since they both passed on;
Soon I will see them, it’s long overdue,
God grant me mercy for what I must do;

I beg for forgiveness as I let myself go,
Tears trickle down as I feel my heart slow;
Hopefully now I’ll get to see you,
So God grant me mercy for what I must do.


Tirzah Conway
~For the contest "Among the Dead"~


Details | Free verse | |

over and over agin

sometimes i talk to myself, 
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all. 
she cried silent in her bed,
blood stains covered her favorite jeans,
her every shirt,
long sleeve ofcourse...
she suffered through it all with few people to call friend
and more to call enemy
even more to say where quite dissappointed....
FAT
her first name in school,
not started by a bully
or a mean rival,
but by her sister, 
and it echoed through her soul,
repeating in her mind... over and over again,
like the ripples of still water
when a pebble is dropped
flash frozen in time
repeating,
over and over again...
It was the first name they gave her,
millions where created over the years,
some unique
some repeating again, just as the first had..
gothic they called her,
emo, fat, ugly....worse things.
but in her mind, things where worse.
everything was repeating,
over and over again,
finally she believed it. 
she asked for help, from everyone
tried to explain to parents she wasnt well,
got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist,
not from a teacher,
not from a class mate,
but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't,
believe there could possibly be a thing wrong....
finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher.
rather then giving her time,
she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough...
she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class...
the princlipal says she needs help,
sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation,
her dads crying as she shows him her cuts...
they walk into a hospital room, 
it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer,
the lady at the desk gives her a smile.
then she goes into a room with a lady,
her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup,
the girl is gaging on her perfume,
and she looks really intimidating....
her dark brown hair looks dead and flat
even though its a bit wavy, 
and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown.
asks her all these questions,
is mommy beating her?
no
is daddy raping her?
no
is she doing drugs?
not alot
is anyone beating her?
pass...
did anyone molest her? 
pass....
oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan,
valium, lithium, more.......
and thats what they gave her,
more... 
some numbed the pain
some brought it out
tearing through her organs,
she became an addict by the time she was fourteen....
over dose after over dose
some for pleasure
some for pain,
gashes on her legs getting deeper,
this time she didnt tell a soul,
not even those she had come to call friends....
wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again
as she dropped weight like it was nothing....
you cant controll it she argued as things became worse. 
at age fourteen she attempted suicide,
she didnt quite succeed.
the medication took away her aappitite....
she liked it
she hated her body
hated herself
felt out of controll
found a new way to cope
as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat
to keep her body from nuitrients...
as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses 
I ate at my friends house....
spoken as a whisper
heard like a sentance
echoing in her mind over and over again,
along with that word, all the words,
FAT!!!!!!
ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing...
one bite she would say
rocking back and forth
craving nothing but food
her body racked with hunger pain
one bite and there she was again
FAT!
over and over and over again
back to a toothbrush
this time she sees blood
she saw her ribs
she saw her bones,
it wasnt good enough,
she almost died, again....
choking on this deep dissappointment in herself,
gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat, 
their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs
all shoved down her throat like candy
and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste
or the hurt
or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon...
and you know why? 
because daddy yelled 
and couldnt accept what was happening
not because he wanted to hurt her
but because it hurt him,
and she let him believe,
because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too.
because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day
smoking weed
doing nothing,
practically having us raise ourselves,
she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter
she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement,
and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage
 her mother had created for herself.
because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did
she was just frustrated
fed up with the way things where
scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty
and to help heal her pain...
because people in school
who where so cruel
had to have learned from somewhere
and she wasnt going to play into their games,
and they knew she was an easy target
because she would never attack someone so weak
and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice
to help all these people....
to help her dad,
her mom,
her sister,
every person who was beaten abused or hurt
 and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had.
because depite the fact she had died inside,
and almost passed away on the out,
it was a saccrafice she was willing to make
so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain,
and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell
of somthing that could have been
and never had the chance
and why? 
because she would take it and wouldnt strike back,
because sometimes "just taking it"
isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything
but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...


Details | I do not know? | |

The Women



The Women



(for the countless women, names unknown, who bore the brunt of Apartheid, and who fought the racist system at great cost to themselves and their families, and for my mother, Zubeida Moolla)



Pregnant, your husband on the run,
your daughter, a child, a few years old,

they hauled you in, these brutish men,
into the bowels of Apartheid's racist hell.



They wanted information, you gave them nothing,
these savage men, who skin happened to be lighter,

and white was right in South Africa back then,

but, you did not cower, you stood resolute,

you, my mother, faced them down, their power,
their 'racial superiority', their taunts, their threats.



You, my mother, would not, could not break,

You stood firm, you stood tall.

You, like the countless mothers did not break, did not fall.



You told me many things, of the pains, the struggles,

the scraping for scraps, the desolation of separation
from your beloved Tasneem and your beloved Azad,

my elder sister and brother, whom I could not grow
up with, your beloved children separated by time, by place,

by monstrous Apartheid, by brutish men,
whose skin just happened to be lighter.



You told me many things, as I grew older,
of the years in exile, of the winters that grew ever colder.

You were a fighter, for a just cause,
like countless other South African women,

you sacrificed much, you suffered the pangs,
of memories that cut into your bone, your marrow,

you resisted a system, an ideology, brutal and callous and narrow.



Yes, you lived to see freedom arrive, yet you suffered still,
a family torn apart, and struggling to rebuild a life,

all the while, nursing a void, that nothing could ever fill.



I salute you, mother, as I salute the nameless mothers,

the countless sisters, daughters, women of this land,
who fought, sacrificing it all for taking a moral stand.



I salute you, my mother, and though you have passed,
your body interred in your beloved South African soil,

you shall remain, within me, an ever-present reminder,

of the cost of freedom, the struggles, the hunger, the toil.


I salute you!



(for the brave women of South Africa, of all colours,
who fought against racial discrimination and Apartheid)






Details | Rhyme | |

A Painful Thanksgiving Night

A Painful Thanksgiving Night… As I sit here this Thanksgiving night I can do nothing else but write. My family’s in the other room So, why do I feel all this gloom? When we arrived late last night I thought for sure I would be alright. Even though it took everything in me To take that 3 hour drive you see. Each and every time I come All I want to do is run. Run away and never turn back A family bond I sure do lack. A mother’s love is what I crave But a hug and money is all she gave. My sisters and I we try and try To understand mother as the years go by. But nothing about her ways makes sense She’s cold and hard and always on the defense. Through the years she’s done much wrong But the love of my mother I still do long. Though the bad memories of her will never erase I prayed through my kids they might be replaced. Maybe they would chase away her pain And my love for her would not be in vain. When they’re around her it’s clear to see There’s nothing left, no mystery. Who she is; is what she’ll be All I see is a repeat of history. A history filled with hurt and pain To protect my children I must break the chain. This chain has bound me in so many ways It almost claimed my life - on several days. Lay


Details | Free verse | |

To my daughters

To my girls
I want you to know
That I see you
As equals on every level
Not just my daughters
My little pink princesses
I see you as young women
Powers within this world
With oceans to offer
A lifetime still to learn.

Live your lives
As though I was still with you
Be free and fearless
For you can see
Life is so short
Take all opportunities
And shape them to your dreams
You have all the tools
And I will be watching over you
Be good to one another
There are only two of you
The strength between sisters
Is a bond for life.

Your analytic minds
Will help you make good decisions
Fair and just rewards will ensue.
Your radiating hearts
Will gift you many friendships
Maybe special love
All in good time.

You will never be alone
For you have a deep sense of self
This will be fortified
With my passing
Your feet firmly planted
Will serve you well
Balancing the ups and downs
because that's how life is.
Always be true to yourself
Life will be true to you too.
Do not mourn my death
I am not going far away.

My illness has progressed
My time is nigh
There is a greater plan
One we cannot see
But we have had a great life
As mother and daughters
Our journeys together
live on in our memories.

My loves
I will hold you safe
In my heart
Now and forever
I will always be with you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Time to Go in loving memory of my mother

My mom was a strong woman, and stubborn too,
Yet she had a soft side, between me and you.
That side she would show, when you least expected,
But let me tell you, she was well respected.

Mom was quite unique, and was one of a kind,
She was set in her ways, so keep that in mind.
The youngest of nine, she had gotten her way,
Spoiled by her siblings’, almost every day.

Right out of high school, she had married my dad,
Blessed with three children, plus fifty years they had.
They both were hard workers, in all that they did,
My dad taught himself, from when he was a kid.

My mom was a smoker, for forty-six years,
Some day it would happen, she’d face all her fears.
Lung cancer she had, and inoperable too,
Her time on this earth, would be shortened we knew.

Radiation and Chemo, had done their thing,
Remission set in, tears of joy it did bring.
We would go out at night, to shop and to talk,
I knew she enjoyed, getting out for a walk.

Two years had gone by, after Thanksgiving Day,
Her pain had returned, but was afraid to say.
She’d lie on the couch; it was strength she did lack,
We knew in our hearts, that the cancer came back.

We shared lots of laughter, but many a tear,
I tried to assure her, she’d nothing to fear.
“Please watch over your dad, this one thing I ask.”
“I know it will be, quite a difficult task.”

One morning in March, Hospice called us to say,
You may want to come, for she’s slipping away.
For the night before, mom told me to stay home,
“Be there for your kids, you can call me by phone.”

When we all arrived, for a moment she woke,
Her eyes said it all, not a word had she spoke.
We stayed by her bedside, just holding her hand,
“It’s time to let go mom, we all understand”.

A few days had passed, not ready to let go,
For it had been raining, but letting up slow.
The sun began shining, the clouds disappeared,
Opening the heavens, for mom’s time has neared.

We gathered together, her forehead we kissed,
Whispering so softly, how much she’d be missed.
“Your time has arrived mom, just follow the light”,
She left us so peaceful, she gave up her fight.

It was time to drive home, in the car we got,
Then something had happened, while leaving the lot.
Huge drops of rain falling, it had to be fate.
They were tears of joy; she was at heaven’s gate.


Details | Elegy | |

THE SOUL OF MAIDEN

 
Destiny fraught with hardship 
So much in aconite life of the 
hapless soul
In row prone with some ponce
Who could save as she fret? 
Conscripted in a route routed 
march
On lisping lips of the wobbly 
tongue 
Like bird she could afar and 
appear in minute 
As it were when one is peregrine 
in gradgrinds
It could be anything but help 
Dove like as seen on thy alter
Not just a deist in your 
conception 
What could have warrant such 
Towards these wench 
If there were life after where she 
was
The issuance of ones isonomy 
to beloved family
Like teddy bay roaming in the 
hands of strangers
Straining in no altercation 
Yes, she live up to her mournful 
pride
Waited in many of her days 
Maybe the sun could deign and 
benign her path.  
 


Details | Epic | |

Late Night New

Sitting in a chair and watching a movie I get a phone call,
She's dead, my little sister tells me, and I drop the ball.
you are really gone, I can't believe how this can happen,
You didn't have to go, I wish I could of dropped in. 

Hearing and seeing all the tears that are being poured out for you is very sad,
This day will be remembered in yours and you two little angels forever and that's not bad. 
Not being able to see you any more will be hard but ill think of something to occupy my self,
But till than tho, shine bright for our God and save me a crown a big shelf.


Dedication to: Alina Bukhanstova and her two little angels. 

PS: R.I.P, you will be missed.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Witnesses To Sinners



I can't hear the words as they come from my mouth
I can't hear the screams as they work their way out
As I write all is seen is a blur and blank moment and
Once recovered sensed the words were written,not 
Even a look to see what was written only to know it
Was there.Sleepless night,taunt  filled faces horde my
Dreams.Have this made me fall so low no longer am I
Am I able to stand on my own to feet.How many times 
Will you make me cry before claiming only to being a 
Witness in a crime,your crime. Putting on that face
Working the crowds with amazing easily,how I hate you
Yes all the thing I think about revolve around you.
How many times have I witness myself wound my self
With your blade? As though under a spell doing as order
Without a cry to the world what made me so diligent ?
But no longer can you be a witness,No longer can I be 
A witness to these crimes that been committed.Be us both
Sinners be us both lovers be that we both be cursed 
We shall witness our sins become whole and the love in
Which we share spread further and further like the flames 
Of hades. May there be peace for sinners in the next world.
We are both witnesses and at the same time 
We are both sinners one day to become consumed by our
Own darkness how far will we fall until that moment comes?
May we be good may we be bad may we fall may we live may 
May we die or carry on we are the Witnesses We are the Sinners
To this world and the next.


Details | I do not know? | |

'Little bird, what troubles thee'

Little bird, what ails thee
      is it the bread in your belly
little bird, what troubles thee
      is it the bread of misery

is it the bitterness in your heart, 
     or the offense you can't forgive
is it the anguish that sets you apart, 
     or the hurt that holds you captive 
 
is it the cancer of bitter love, 
     or the loss of deserved affection 
is it the cruel withdrawal of 
     his tenderness and compassion 

life is much too brief
      and youthful love's even briefer still,
your forestalled relief 
      keeps you from seeing His eternal will

what befalls you 
      is neither unshared nor a mystery
God sheds tears for you
      in the midst of your painful agony

little bird, what ails thee
      is it the bread in your belly
little bird, what troubles thee
      is it the bane of misery


Details | ABC | |

please (by kimmy holmes, my daughter)

mom
love you
need you
please
love me
need me 
too


Details | Free verse | |

The Never Ending Battle

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

JS Lambert



Details | I do not know? | |

My Little Treasure

My little treasure with such large and needy glistening eyes
She has an angelic face so soft her rosy cheeks do beam 
She is short of stature though within her she encases a large loving heart
She doesn’t ask for the world just that I am a part of it 
I held her only briefly too short a time for such an abundance of love to share
 She asks nothing impossible of me only to be held and loved
Sadly abandoned by those she trusted and loved so dear 
 Her eyes so deep and yearning as if to beg me to steal her away
So far away where hurt and pain dare not follow
So far into the quiet solace of her little dreams
My little treasure so young and fragile she is
I feel her slipping away can I save her from where she hides
Can I help her find her way to the paradise she needs
Much pain in her sweet little face I can barely glance
I pray I can save her from this cage that is her little life
In death I lost my own little treasure so many years ago
 My granddaughter needs that love I saved and buried so deep inside
A love that stands the test of time never to depart
I pray now for solace and wisdom from my grand creator
 Great courage and strength I pray will lead me in this journey


Details | Free verse | |

DECEPTION

Hand in hand and
Eyes to eyes,
Promises unending
As if from the heart,
Pregnancy struck
Then hand out of hand
And eyes apart from eyes
Leaving the girl in stark anguish...


BY: CHARLES MELODY (LIGHTNING INK).


Details | Lyric | |

Thrown Away

You gave me the news today
Told me to leave and stay away

To error is human is what they say
It's to bad you don't see it this way

Yes you decided to throw me away
Because I don't see everything your way

You don't know how I feel, but you hope I agree
That you should have nothing more to do with me

So, once again I totally must disagree
Even though you want nothing to do with me

A mother's love you can't throw away
I'll love you my daughter till my dying day


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | I do not know? | |

mama

mama how do i tell you its bad again
how the voices are telling me its okay to hurt
they want me to fall
to fall from the top of buildings 
and not get up
but don't worry mama
i plan to shut them up

mama how do i explain how the pain has returned
all you wanted was me to be better
i tried and tried and tried and tried
but in the end, the crazy won
they drive me crazy to no end
i want to make it stop 
but don't worry mama
i have a plan

mama i cant tell you how it feels
to be sunken to the depths of earth
angels are soaring above me
but their happy gazes hurt
i need this incessant chatter to go
to hurt me, to hate me 
it all feels so real
but don't worry mama
it wont soon

mama i can see the look in your eyes
it hurts me too that this is goodbye 
cant you see this is the only way 
for the voices to vanish but my body stay
goodbye and farewell 
ill miss you so much
but don't cry mama
ill be better now


Details | Tanka | |

Where now a Butterfly Sits

In innocent lie Amidst the lightening dew Poppies in mourning She unknown, taken at will Where now a butterfly sits .


Details | Concrete | |

Observer

A serpent underneath blue sky,
in shade of man, in twinkle of an eye,
above brick wall, in the structure, at the floor,
venom of white dove; contaminated food, undrinkable water,
misguided youth, pregnant daughter, unfaithful father and hateful son,
mothers do pray while we walk through Babylon;
on teli and in the press, on top shells,
price none the less, in bedroom and at your door..
dawn of a new day seemed to be dark,
after all.


Details | Narrative | |

LISA'S IVORY MUSIC BOX

Many Christmas stories are told every year,
and many songs are sung with pure cheer;
do I have a good story, at least one, I can tell,
or a simple song I can hum and spread good will?


When Lisa's grandmother passed away unexpectedly...
by her dying bed she kept an ivory music box,
and to her lovely granddaughter she gave it
to saying," Take care of it, and smile when you think of me!"


The day after granny died, she went down the dark cellar
to hide the ivory music box in an old dresser's drawer,
and once in a while she would open it and play it and listen to it sadly;
the pretty angel swirled...and Silent Night played as Lisa touched it tenderly.


It was almost Christmas Day and the pine tree wasn't decorated yet,
she rushed outside carrying a red basket with ornaments in it;
how could she had forgotten to adorn it with bulbs and garlands?
" Oh gosh, I feel like the Grinch!"  she displeasingly uttered to herself. 


There was no snow predicted for that evening and the illuminated town
was lacking Nature's magical snowflakes to make it festive and vibrant;
five minutes to midnight the choir from the nearest church gathered outside,
and waited for a miracle...silence...tranquility...every heart felt so alone.


But Lisa with an indomitable spirit ordered them to sing, 
and they began singing looking up the clearest, starriest sky;
everyone seemed sad and some of them wanted to cry,
but before sadness set in...snowflakes began falling.


Lisa knew that it was the miracle she had been waiting for,
but something was missing from the snowy scenery...
she remembered her ivory music box she had put away,
and running, with awe in her bright eyes, she opened the cellar's door...


Clutched in her caring, careful hands, she carried the ivory music box,
laid it gently underneath the twinkling, scented Christmas Tree;
Lisa kissed it tenderly...until the golden angel started to swirl at midnight,
as that divine music filled the nippy air...making all cheeks so peachy.        


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Free verse | |

50 Years-Korean War

Published by Poetry Explosion of PA
In Loving Memory of my Dad, Peter J. Mariotti
He left this world on May 9, 2011.  I miss him so.



50 Years-Korean War



		Dad, you were one of the foot soldiers,
		When the Korean War began,
		You were among the many to fight
		In this foreign land,

		You went bravely into battle,
		Because our country told you to go,
		You didn’t ask any questions
		You just went to fight the foe,

		North Korea was Communist,
		South Korea was not,
		The country had been split
		After World War II,
		Now American boys were fighting
		On Korean soil,
		The South Koreans needed help from
		The Red, White and Blue

		Dad, you were a hero,
		You served our country well,
		Now after 50 years
		You finally were able to tell,
		The story of your war
		And the misery you saw,
		The Korean War had been forgotten
		But now at long last,
		It will be remembered,
		As an important part of our past.

		Love always

		Celine Rose Mariotti


Details | Ballad | |

A Better Life...

A Better Life

I don't know why she hides,
I don't know why she shivers,
I don't know why she cries,
I don't know why she quivers,

Daddy's girl is all alone,
And I don't know how to help her,
Daddy's world is all but blown,
And I don't know what to tell her,

What happened to her confidence,
And her self assured way,
Which used to be so prominent,
In all she did or would say,

Who stole my little girl’s heart,
And drove her to such confusion,
She now slowly does her part,
As if all she has is illusion,

She knows I would kill any other man,
For doing such harm to my little girl,
But this is much more than I can stand,
As it has forever blown apart my world,

They took ‘steps’ to the next level,
And now they each look to me in despair,
I warned them each to be careful,
But the forbidden fruit they shared,

Now I look at one without trust,
Yet I still love my son so very much,
I still hold her distant as I must,
But she needs Daddy’s healing touch,

Why do I have to be the bad guy,
When my children need my help,
I pushed one out and I still cry,
While I can't help her help herself,

There is no way to win here,
And my tears won't stop falling,
I have lost them both I fear,
And my fears won't stop calling,

I don’t know what to do anymore,
Or how I can help either of them,
Both children my heart cries out for,
But the truth is neither can win, 

And for this my darling kids,
I am so sorry I can’t decide,
Which to disown or which to kiss,
When I am actually on both your sides,

So I pray that both her and him,
Of whom I am so very proud,
Do not give up and become victims,
Who wear this pain like a shroud,

I pray both of you hear my advice,
Get over this hardship and understand,
This lesson with its terrible price,
Is one where you do as best you can,

To forgive and move on from here,
Without Dad having to choose a side,
And to let go of all that you fear,
If you want to grow to have a better life.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Fatherless Child

There once was a day I would watch every airplane.
Praying you was on it to come take me away.
As a child I wanted you around until the day, you actually came.
The day you came is the day my life forever changed.
I remember as if it was yesterday when you physically violated me.
Mental visions as early as the age of eight, but old enough to vociferate.
Visualizing mental pictures in my mind while I am awake very aware of the improper abuse I take.
Your body on me feels something like an autopsy of a dead body.
While you lay on top of me as you press aggressively on me.
Against my will your force kept me still.
I am trying to understand if you recognize who I am.
I try to say no hoping you can comprehend; I am weakling as you apprehend.
Mentally and physically I became involuntarily your property. 
A main character in a horror story, and you were my predatory.
I asked “God why?” as I bare to stare into his eyes.
This is not thee love I seek; all I wanted was my father to love me, but not like this injustice of violation of my rights.
This love is not real; not the love I wished to feel.
As he tries to stick his tongue into my mouth too young to know what this is all about.
I grip my lips painfully tight as he tries to slip his tongue inside.
I close them tighter with all my might, as he whispers, “let me love you right” 
I beg him to leave as he pried my legs open with his knees my insides scream “somebody please help me!”
As he whispers how much he loves me I’m praying for God to just kill me.
I rather be dead then a man’s punching bag.
As I lay there my body was dead, and I laid my soul to rest.
I looked around the room and seen the Old Spice on the desk the same fragrance he wore around his neck.
The sun began to rise as he began to close my thighs.
In that moment in time I had made up my mind any man that ever say they love me was just telling lies.
I learned the hard way that love does not kill your inside; love does not take your pride.
A fatherless child I shall forever reside.
Every day that passes that little eight-year-old girl dies slowly inside.
Asking Jesus,” Why permit this?” and he slowly whispers…as I gently whimpers, “faith is the light that guide you through the darkness, my words reflecting as a lamp unto my feet.”
“Walk unto my path I’m here to carry the weak, come into me you are weary and overburdened. I will carry the pain you have obtained.”
“I am your father and you are my child you are never fatherless because I’m always around.”


Details | Couplet | |

Daisy Chains

We make daisies into a chain.
Giggling, laughing, it starts to rain.
We lift our faces to the sky
and soon we're drenched, you and I.

I close my eyes for a moment , brief.
Opening them I'm consumed with grief.
My heart is pounding in the dark night.
Gone is my child, the meadow, the light.

Only in dreams do you come to me.
In morning light my tears run free.
I long for sleep to see you again.
Only my dreams bring relief from pain.


Details | I do not know? | |

I am...

I am a poet writing of my pain
I am a person living a life of shame
I am your daughter, hiding my depression
I am your sister, striving to make a great impression
I am your friend acting like I'm fine
I am a dreamer, wishing this life, wasn't mine
I am a girl who struggles with suicide
I am a teenager, pushing her tears aside







Side note: (Writing for other ladies out there, not so much myself, so don't worry about me)


Details | Rhyme | |

For the Fallen Hero

Holes are dug
The tents raised
Men and women salute
As they carry your body away

The flag draped over so graceful
Exhibiting patriotism of the brave
Honoring the risk you willingly took 
As we march in silence toward your grave

My fellow comrade, my partner
Forever my best friend
Life for us was just beginning
When it turned for a swiftning end

I felt my stomach tightly churn
When I saw your name on the list
Sinking back into the moment
We shared our final goodbye kiss

Now as they lower you down gently
My heart follows right behind
Though you can't be with me now in body
Our souls will always be intertwined
 
I'll be brave for our little princess
But I can't promise I won't weep
Watching her lay here with your picture
Cuddling it softly sound asleep

I tell her numerous stories about you
And she tries to memorize them all
But as the years go by it gets harder
When your face isn't as clear to recall
 
She knows her father is a hero
And not afraid to announce to the world
Oh my dear, how I see so much of you
In the liveliness of our precious girl

I know our parting won't last forever
When we're together as a family in Heaven
That picture is what keeps me going each day
Holding to the thought I'll embrace you again 

We will live to make you proud, my love
Though somedays are harder then most
Perhaps fallen but never forgotten
To your life we raise this toast


Details | Free verse | |

The Day my Daughters Grow Up

Yesterday
I could see their births as if it was just
Yesterday
A time when all I knew was love 
Yesterday
I’d no thought for tomorrow, just the day
Yesterday
How they changed the world in every way
Yesterday

Little smiles
How they melted this man, their father’s heart
Little girls
How they instantly became a needed part
Little hands
That held tightly to the palm of mine
Little babies
How they’ll always be this man’s sunshine
Little girls

But when they grow up
 I’ll be so sad…
My world will then lose 
the babies I had…
I’ll have just the memories 
of their touch…
The day my daughters… 
grow up…

Maybe
They’ll never fall in love with any boy
Maybe
But, then they’ll never learn of all that joy
Maybe 
They’ll wait until they reach old forty two
Maybe
But, that’s a dream that won’t come true
Maybe

But when they grow up
 I’ll be so sad…
My world will then lose 
the babies we had…
I’ll have just the memories 
of their touch…
The day my daughters… 
grow up…

One day I will walk them down the aisle
They’ll look at me with that little girl smile
I’ll do everything to hold back the tears
Forced by the memories of all their years

The day my daughters… 
grow up…

One day
When I am old and they come to visit me
One day
I’ll still see them as kids, though with families
One day
Despite age, they’ll always be my little girls
One day
Is every day that I’m alive in this world
One day

The day my daughters… 
grow up…
Is the day, 
I’ll grow up…too


Details | Rhyme | |

Daddy's Fear Is My Regret

My excitement was at an all-time peak
since Daddy was coming to meet me.
I was so enthralled I could barely speak.
I wondered how he would greet me.

Would he still call me his little girl
even though I was all grown?
That would give me such a thrill
though him I'd barely known.

Mom died when I was just five
and all the family was scattered.
Finding my loved ones well and alive;
for years that's all that mattered.

I found one sibling then another.
This made me very happy.
I had a sister and a brother
but I still wanted my pappy!

Finally I found him or he found me.
We set up a meeting date.
I was there an hour early.
Seemed Dad was running late.

For the longest time I waited there
but he was a no-show.
Turns out his fears he couldn't bear.
So my daddy I'd never know.

He begged forgiveness when he called later.
I never did see him again.
I forgave him 'cos I'm not a hater.
But this caused me so much pain.


This a true story for Kim Morrison's contest 


Details | Epic | |

Statutory Rape 101

Everybody knows that it's against the law for grown men and grown women to date all of the underage boys and girls,. let alone a 14-year-old boy or a 15-year-old girl. The law also states that any adult who tries to have this so-called "intimate sexual relationship" with any of the underage boys and/or girls would likely go to jail for a period of time and upon release, they'll have to be register sex offenders for the rest of their lives. It seems that those teen girls would rather date men in their 20's or 30s than guys their age and those teen boys would rather date women twice their age than girls their age, as well. but luckily, their parents (the mothers and the fathers) are here to prevent these so-called "May-December" relationships from ever happening, especially when they're protecting their teenage offspring from dirt-bags like these would-be pedophiles. But no matter what the parents do, no matter how hard they try, their teen sons and/or daughters, they secretly continuing dating older men/older women, even at night (midnight, 2 am, or 3 in the morning, e.g.). And the next thing everybody knows, their parents, they will have found out about it; thereby finding them in bed with the adults; their parents should make multiple police reports and pud the cradle robbers behind bars for good. Boy this is starting to look like an episode of "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (Season 6-Episode 19-Intoxicated featuring Danielle Panabaker) and an episode of "Snapped," especially when Sarah Johnson killed her own parents in cold blood because she was afraid that the late Mr. and Mrs. Alan and Diane Johnson would send this guy name Bruno Santos to prison or have him deported back to Mexico for statutory rape (by way of dating a then-16-year-old girl). There's no way that those teen boys and teen girls are ever going to get into a bunch of serious, intimate relationships with a bunch of would-be cradle-robbing adults. They need to concentrate on their education and they need to be with guys and girls their age. I mean, one teen boy dating a n adult female? One teen girl dating an older man? My God, their parents will be seriously upset about this. Who on Earth would be dumb enough to fall for an older woman or an older man? And if these would-be pedophiles in the form of grown men and women even attempt to rob these teen boys and girls of their innocence and whatnot, the parents are going to have a problem up in here.


Details | I do not know? | |

For Men Everywhere One Billion Rising

1 Billion Rising.

For Men Everywhere.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

Stop!

Stop the abuse!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Listen!

Listen to the voices!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Think!

Think of how you treat,

grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Act!

Act now to change yourself!

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when you stop,

the violence,
the abuse,
the rape.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

is perpetrated by,

grand-fathers,
colleagues,
boyfriends,
husbands,
nephews,
brothers,
partners,
fathers,
uncles,

men,

all men.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when us men stop,

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

today, now.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!


Details | Sonnet | |

Daddy Lied

Daddy lied to his sweet little girl,
wiping a tear and a golden curl.
"You won't die" he lied, in anguished pain,
Kissing her face again and again.


"Don't Cry Daddy, it will be okay"
She said. "Just hold my hand and pray"
Daddy saw the doctor shake his head "No".
Then, he knew it was her time to go.

She loved him with a weak final smile,
"Lay in bed with me a little while."
He climbed in bed and held her tight,
praying hard to save her precious life.

Soon she fell into lasting sleep,
leaving behind the world to weep.




A normal old sonnet, for the beautiful lies contest.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Ugliness Of Divorce


My parents taught me the Christian ways.
I was taught to obey what the Bible says.

I was proud of my parents!  I really was!
And loved them so much…  Just because!

They meant everything to me!  I was proud!
Until one day...  There appeared “a dark cloud.”

It was like a “darkness” hovered above.
Leaving their marriage empty of needed love!

Though they were together many years.
There were many cracks that soon appeared.

I say a once happy home soon destroyed.
Being with one another….  They no longer enjoyed!

How could this happen! I had wondered…
To see a happy marriage “totally plundered

As sin crept in...  And allowed to prevail.
Very soon this marriage simply failed.

May this be a warning for me and you…
That our commitment remains faithful and true!

If your marriage is heading toward separation…
Please seek God for a healing and restoration!

If your planning to have a divorce..
Jesus’ love can put it on the right course!

He can replace the brokenness and hurt within..
And can put your lives back together AGAIN!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

My Dad

My dad passed away when I was nine
That it didn't make me feel fine
I have pictures of him
Which always makes me grin
I have some memories
But not so many
I miss him everyday and night
Which I think of him with delight
He was way to young
For him to be gone
It's been so long ago since he left us so dear
I love him always and true
Theres no other dad like him so true


Details | Free verse | |

Emigration comes full circle

I left Ireland in the 80's with my husband and two babies for Holland. In 2003, we 
returned so that our children could have an Irish University education. Dublin was 
buzzing with life at the time, it was very expensive but we were home. Now in 2011, 
my daughter is emigrating, back down the old ancestral path, she is going to Madrid 
to teach English there. Our country has collapsed so badly, there is no employment 
here so we are exporting our young, educated children by the day. A sad day for me 
as my daughter leaves tomorrow. I wrote her this poem.


To Sarah
On the wave of emigration
I want you to know
That I see you, a fellow female
An equal on every level
Not just my daughter
My little pink princess
I see you as a woman
A power within this world
With oceans to offer
A lifetime still to learn
Go to your new life
A teacher in Madrid
Be free and fearless
Spread your wings and fly
Take the opportunities
Shape them to your dreams
You have all the tools
You can use them now.

Your analytic mind
Will help you make good decision
Fair and just rewards will ensue.
Your radiating heart
Will gift you new friendships
Maybe even a new love
All in good time
You will never be alone
Because you have a deep sense of self
This will be fortified
With this new tide
Your feet firmly planted
Will always serve you well
Balancing the ups and downs of Libra
Always true to yourself
Life will be true to you too.

We live in a new age today
This global world is small
As we email and skype
Fly back and forth to visit
We will continue to love
As mother and daughter
Our journeys through life
Shared
Forever together
My love
I will hold you safe
In my heart.
 


Details | Couplet | |

The Ugly Sin

We can't get back the years we have lost
The Demon inside stole you at all cost

The father you loved and trusted in
Took your innocence a mortal sin

Your broken spirit yearns more of the same
Now he tells me... that I am to blame

I should have not left you and trusted him
Denial has ways of making life grim

Now what can I do since he took my child
In ways someone could never take mild

I have no witness but you my sweet girl
Protecing your secret till God's grace unfurls

In bed thinking what could I have done
Of all Ugly... this the ugliest one~


Details | I do not know? | |

She Was Beautiful

Whispers...

Don't wake her,

Let her rest.


Whispers....

Don't tell her,

She's not ready.


Whispers awakened her

From a drug induced 

Slumber.


She listens 

For a voice

So familiar

It could have been her own.


A voice 

Cooing at a child,

Smiling in it's vibrations

Making promises

It will keep,

Making promises 

It can never keep.


This voice was not there

Among the whispers,

And yet she yearned

To hear this voice.


The slumber was thick

And yet she swam

To the surface

Using all she could summon

To break the surface 

To break the slumber.


As her eyelids fluttered

A strong hand 

Grasped her hand,

Pulling her through

To the real world.


He sat at her bedside,

A face as familiar

As her own.

And with her eyes

She asked the question

He was afraid to answer.


"She was beautiful."


It was the word 

Was

That plunged her back

Into the abyss of dreams

And unrealized wishes,

Leaving her there 

For a day,

Or was it two.


When she woke,

Those words roused her.


When she slept,

Those words were her lullaby.


No child

Rested in her arms,

Once nestled in her womb.


No child 

Suckled at her bosom,

Now heavy with sustenance.


No child 

To cry out

For her mother.


Time waits for no one,

And days pass,

Then weeks and months

And soon a year 

Had come and gone.


Soon another child

Filled her womb

And this child was born,

And then another,

And then another.


Three children

Had rested in her arms,

Suckled at her bosom

And cried out to her,

Their mother.


And when asked

About the fourth

She would say,

"She was beautiful."


Details | Personification | |

Pessimistic Love

Love is
the morning dew...
lurking, looming
effervescent
enigmatic
...burned
...gone


Details | Verse | |

Through A Prison Glass

You came unexpectedly, and i was surprised,
you smiled and placed your hand on the glass and cried.
I leaned my head against the glass and told you i am sorry,
i whisper through the phone line, ill start a new story.

You knew i was innocent but you still didn't believe me,
the only person i thought that would stay by my side but you couldn't be. 
Mom standing by your side and not wanting to talk,
i got really upset that you came at all cause i didn't want to see you walk. 

I needed you, when i was in need,
i was there for you when ever you didn't want to bleed.
I loved you and i cherished you with all my heart,
but before you left your words hit me like a really sharp dart.

You said i failed you,
you cried to me and i knew it was true.
But i needed you to understand me,
but you went your way and upset me.

The glass is now empty and i cant find you even with the fact that I'm out,
i tell you i love you but all you do is shout. 
I've lost you for good this time, 
so i think i have to do one more crime. 


Details | Rhyme | |

I'M A BIG GIRL NOW

                              Wher's my daddy?Have I done something wrong?
                              But I'll be good ,if he just comes  home
                              And I will stand so proud and say,
                              I'm a big girl now daddy I wont get in your way
                               I  wont be mean any more ,wont kick and scream;
                              Or fall to the floor,Iwont whine or fuss and get you upset 
                              I'm abig girl now daddy ,you'll be surprised I bet;
                               I can sit quietly while at play,daddy I promise ;
                               I wont get in your way;
                               If you come home,I'll be at my best
                              Am I big enough to make such a request?
                              Mommy said that you're up in Heaven
                             'Cause your name was oneof them given,
                              But if you told Jesus,that you couldnt stay;
                              And I'd ask for you back at night when I pray,
                              Then back to our house you will arrive-!
                               See mama, I told you my daddy was alive.


Details | I do not know? | |

You Abandon Me

You Abandon me,
  Expunged me.
    You left me without someone like you.

Yea i should say "I Love You,"
  But i'm not sure i do.
   Yea i should Forgive you,
 But i'm not sure i will.
      I don't deserve you,
 & you don't deserve me.
    I know you don't care.
Cuz if you did then you'd call.
   Im Not going to search for you,
 & you better Not search for me.

Yea i should say "I Love You,"
  But i'm not sure i do.
Yea i should call you "Father"
  But i'm not sure i will.
     
You Abandon me Father,
  left me without a Dad.
I read your letters over and over.
  Reading your lies of how "You'll move closer to me so we could hang,"
How you said you "Loved Me".

Then why did you disappear?
Then why did you pop into my life when i was 10?
Why couldn't you pop into someone else's life?!

Yea i should say "I Love You,"
          But i don't.
You Abandon me Father...
     So im going to do the same...

   Good Bye.

- Brittany

( thank you for reading and commenting.. it really means alot :) please comment and rate :) thank you again)


Details | Free verse | |

The Piano Stand

I was sitting at the piano stand,
cracking my hands, getting ready to play,
when a man walked in, no one knew who,
he was, because no one had seen him in a while.

He sat in a chair, his hair so blonde and long as could be,
my hand touched the piano key,
I realized it was my dad not that it was bad,
just why was he here, i can't bare to see his face.

I stopped playing,
I started saying,
How mad i am for his fame,
He walked out of the school in shame.

I wondered why he was famous and what for,
He left me and my brothers to be poor,
For some other.

I can never forgive him,
but i'll let him live on in his fame,
for i have nothing to shame.
For i knew he would not claim,
me as a daughter or friend.

I moved my hands from the keys on the piano,
for i have moved on to another Piano Stand.


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

The coat that was destroyed

remember to those whom think
Fur from the skin of a animal is a sin

to a degree this is true 
in a previous poem .I also have written "tigers living free "
So I let you know I to am guilty ..
go back in time , I ask you.

Think about women before the day 
The day women wore Fur and it was ok .

my mother died early 
to early for me , I was only the young age of 20.

Through the years I remembered her scent 
she left me with memories, in my heart was kept

I wish not to offend 
so I will try and tread light 

When my Mother died
The next day , her personals were taken  
with many it was almost a fight .

I was left with a plate 
until one day received a call 

From the man she was to marry 
before she passed that Fall 

He told me how sad it was for him to see 
his beautiful Brides room was torn up side down
looking for items of value to be found 

He said there was one thing the Vultures forgot 
Her mink coat she loved so much and she wanted me to have 


He flew from  Julian to Monterey , all in one day 
last year I came into my room to pull the coat out 

Mom's coat would comfort and warm my children at night 
someone entered my room to destroy this coat we loved , out of judgment, it was cut . probably a small fortune it will cost , all because of some ones hate , I lost.

I ask we be kind in thinking next time a fur coat
maybe it is the only thing left one has to remember  
maybe it is there to warm the broken soul that longs for 
Motherly Love ~


Details | Free verse | |

Deep enough to bruise the soul

He didnt know the wounds would go
Deep enough to bruise her soul
She lay there froze when he arose
She replaced her battered clothes
Rather the blows from clydesdales toes
Or the fate of conquered foes
This painful load forever to hold
A friend not stranger from her stole
He didnt think her dad would drink
Then find his gun beneath the sink
He hasnt blinked he's at the brink
Wants to feed animal instincts
Moms half insane feels daughters pain
Her tears form puddles like the rain
Her child explains how she's ashamed
Now mommy wants to share the blame
He didnt weep in courtroom seat
Jury discussion deliberately brief
Not very steep the sentence was weak
They only handed him three hundred weeks
He never did speak almost like asleep
He'll spend many cold nights wrapped in a thin sheet
Tried to be discreet almost lost heartbeat
When those bars of steel slid right past his feet.


Details | I do not know? | |

What people might think

People may say that i am a spoiled little brat.
    Only becuase they see what they wan't to see.
   We all have been through things in our life time that we just want to forget, but we just can't  seem to forget.

My mom has put me through many things "but lets not say" in the past.  And i have learned from some of those things.  It made me a stronger person inside and outside. 

  I don't know my father at all. I wasn't even born when my mom was around him.
 But i have a loving family.

I would never change my past even if i had the chance.  Becuase if i did then i wouldn't be 
where i am now.

 People who are out there that are judging people based on how they act or look, are stupid. Wise up and grow up... 
Those people you judge have a GOOD reason for the way they look or act.
 And maybe they need some one there to talk to. To get things off their 
back.

                        Just like the saying. "Don't judge a book by it's cover"



*just something  that i had to say* :)comment if you have a thought (or fav poem if you like it)*
  
                                        


Details | Ballade | |

My Dearest Daughter

I want you to know my dear daughter
I thought of you every day
The thought you say your daughter hates me
The question asked is how can a baby hate

The answer is, a baby learns what it is taught
I never raised you to hate in any way
To disrespect or live such a troubled way

You've hurt me like no other has
In such a way it no longer bothers me
Although I think of you more then you'll know
I no longer care if I see you again

You were my dearest, my one and only
And the day I gave birth to you
Gave me bragging rights in all that you do
I showed I was proud,  you didn't understand

Much time has gone by
I hardly think of you any more
The day will come, you will need me again
That day will be, when it's much too late

I won't be the one who will be so hurt
You will find that you waited much to late
My time will have ended on this dear earth
I will be gone, spending my time in Heaven

I will watch over my dear granddaughter
I will guide, guard and protect her
From the evil that you teach her
That my dear daughter is a promise

I will take care of her, from above
I will teach her how to love, honor and respect
Things I did teach you, you weren't paying attention

I want you to know my dearest daughter
I loved you before you were born
And I loved you 'till my dying day

I now love you from above
But now you're on your own without my love
Just remember this my dear daughter
You took the love I had to give my granddaughter
From her life, she'll never know

You cheated her, from a part of life
She will find out, and pay you back
When that happens, remember this
It's the same, you did to me


Details | Rhyme | |

Children Grieve

This childhood sadness left me so forlorn.
A grief so real it mattered not my age.
Five years before this moment I was born.
And now my book of life had turned a page.

Never more to rock me in her arms.
I look around but I can't find her there.
She'd  calm me always with those mama charms.
Then gently she would brush my long brown hair.

Daddy came into our room and told us
that Mama went to live with God above.
And he was too distraught to even hold us.
Unsure was I of feeling any love.

I hugged my baby brother who was three.
And tried to make sense of my world again.
Though I was just a child I still could see.
The laughter I once knew had turned to pain.

I wish I could forget that terrible day.
After all these years it's still so real.
When childish things were swiftly packed away.
And I would learn how much it hurts to feel.


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

They said her time had come- Death by insurance

They said her time had come
No place to run
No place to hide
No time for fun
Just an empty vessel inside
Going through the motions
Numb.
Overwhelming emotions
They said her time had come

They said her time had come
Evil coats
She wants to run
She desires to have fun
Not understanding why she can not play
It is now the month of May
Another denial letter
Another denial to get better
They said her time had come

They said her time had come
Why such looks of sorrow?
She doesn’t understand
For there is always tomorrow
Evil coats
She takes a breath
Smelling all of the flowers
No place to hide
Now literally an empty vessel inside
They said her time had come

Her time had come
Her bald head 
Just four years old
She looks to comfort from her mom and dad
Why do they look so sad?
Evil coats drag them away 
She never got that chance to go out and play
Beep. Beep. Beeep.. Bleeeeep….. 
The room floods with long white coats
Now to heaven this little girl floats
Her time had come

They said her time had come
She was just a name
No money, undeserving of fame
Easy for her to be denied
If only the suits had looked her in the eyes
Who is to blame? 
Sent to the free clinic
Now dead at four
No insurance
Ooops! What a shame…
She could have been saved
Now two parents at her grave
Once a happy family, now destroyed
Because THEY said her time had come


Details | I do not know? | |

The White of Your Eyes

As I look at the whites of your eyes
I feel horror, fear rumbling inside me.

I grind my teeth together when I see you walking.

I fear you, I fear when you talk, shout, when you raise your hand.

I'v always feared you, but no more.
The fear I had of you I turned it into courage.

Now I no longer fear you.
I laugh when you raise your hand, when you shout.

Cuz the only thing I see you as...
Is a dead man walking.

And now your in the ground where you belong.


( If you may PLEASE comment of Mail me. Sorry i havn't been on in a long time... ALOT has happened this year to me)


Details | Free verse | |

A Princess In Black

A Princess In Black

A box of dark willow
Upon a cushion of white
Think blonde curls, each carefully laid
Skin whiter than snow
Bold eyelashes rested on smooth cheeks
Eyelids dusted with shimmering gold
Pale cheeks brushed with soft pink
Pink lips, still, to speak never again

Hollow collarbone concealed by flowing black cloth
Black sleeves ended just below lifeless fingers
Thin waist wrapped with sinched elastic
Loose black skirt left ankles and feet bare.

The coffin lid closes
One last tear emerges
Her sweet voice, still ringing
Her soft whispers, still noticed
A princess in black, never forgotten


Details | Rhyme | |

The last Letter

The hardest thing I had to do?
The day I said goodbye to you.
We sat there and our words were few
Yet in that moment I just knew,
This is our last goodbye.
You didn't cry it's not your style
And you and I each wore a smile
But both were thinking all the while
You'll soon be there on high.

I never thought my love could grow
But being there it was just so.
We'd sit and let our love just flow,
Then came the day I had to go
We said our last goodbye.
Now daddy what you did not see
Is how my heart broke inwardly?
Those gentle words must comfort me
You'll soon be there on high.

09.05.2014


Details | Free verse | |

MaMa

Mom.
Hey Mom.
Did I tell you I love you?
Well, I do.
Daddy loved you too.
I miss him too Mom.
But this man,
Is not Daddy
And can never replace him.
I know your're lonely,
But Mama he hurts you.
How can you love someone that hurts you?
You cover your bruises with long sleeves and makeup.
You smile in public even though you cry at home.
He comes home from the bar,
And all he does is yell at you.
All he does is yell
And then he hits you,
For no reason.
Mama why do you stay?
Mama your lip,
It's bleeding again.
Come on Mama,
Let's go home.
Our real home,
Where we lived with Daddy.
Him?
He'll never find us there,
Daddy will protect us.
Come on Mama,
WE're gonna go home.


Details | Bio | |

I Also Burn

Rises my day, even before the sun, To smoothen others life, as butter in churn. To keep the flow perfect, I always haste, Surrounded by my duties, I have no time to waste, Making everyone ready, for the day turn by turn, I wish someone could understand, from inside I also burn… Sacrificing my happiness for the will of my parents, Getting married and accepting the feel of the torrent. I have to pay the price for my pains and lowery, As we brides still die in the fire of dowry. Making everyone happy, for the life turn by turn, I wish someone could understand, from inside I also burn… I have brothers, who protect me from the evils, But how much shall they fight, the street is filled with devils. Looks at me and stares brutally every eye, We are humans, believing this has become a lie. You have a sister of your own, who is equally divine, Why do you adulterate me, like snakes on vine? Losing my divinity; for the life turn by turn, I wish someone could understand, from inside I also burn… Mother, sister, wife, daughter, am I, But before every part, as human I die. Others happiness has become my prime duty, But, I still await someone, who will pull off the curtain, of my inner beauty, I don’t desire the whole world at my feet, But definitely, I deserve the behavior which is elegant and neat, I will keep smiling at my hardships turn by turn, I wish someone could understand, from inside I also burn…
-‘Panchi’ Panchal Hitesh D


Details | Rhyme | |

Too much times past

Inspiration is just so hard to come by
But I though i 'd found something
That would last
But I guess to much
Times past 
and I never really
Knew my dad
But t ain't something 
Cry over
Cause in just a few years 
............. ( it 'll all be over )
I'm tired of your  lies
I guess to best we severed all ties
But this ain't bout you 
It's bout me 
Even though you
Ruined everything
The damages are to big to repair
So I guess its better to 
Act like you don't care
But 2 can play those games 
It's not like I ever needed you here 


Details | Rhyme | |

Does Family Really Matter Anymore


A family had a wedding...  The brother wasn’t invited.
The fact they didn’t want him,.. 
Was already decided!

When asked why his name had been “omitted.”
It was because of past wrongs he had committed.

The words spoken, one could hardly believe it!
Any kind of forgiveness? 
 They didn’t receive it!

How many times are loved ones not
 invited to “family occasions.”
Often times, families listen to “outside persuasions.”

Someone does something, 
that may not be liked.
Then they’re often told to “go take a hike!

No wonder why many families 
battle one another!
They have failed to truly love each other!

As we continue to see families drift apart.
This often leads to a wounded 
and broken heart!

Christ gave us his best!  
When we were at our lowest!
A life of mercy and forgiveness…  
He wants to show us!

If we can’t treat one another
 as Christ commands…
Then HIS way of family living….  
We’ll never understand!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

I Wanted You To

I wanted you to love me,
I wanted you to see,
I wanted you to know all I felt inside of me

I love you more than you'll ever loved yourself, 
Watch you tear apart until only pieces are left,

I'm letting go now and I'm not turning back, 
Far distant memories is all that are left,

I hope you know that there are people that care,
We may be far away but doesn't mean we aren't there,

Tired of this never-ending circle,
Live your life without your true purpose, 

When will you see my torment and pain,
Wondering if you'll live to see another day,

You can be selfish you chose your path,
Now it's time you deal with the aftermath,

You break my heart again and again,
Just leave me incomplete until I'm not whole again,

I love you more than the air I breathe,
but you rip me apart until nothing is left of me,

I'll leave you to your torment, pity, and shame,
I just wish you would just only forget my name,

Can't let you break my heart in two,
The heartbreak I feel I wish you only knew,

I'll love you until the day I die,
I won't let you be the reason I continue to cry,

Hope you're happy and I have all that you want,
but I'm no longer here to rest your problems on,

I hope it changes I hope you see,
You are my love and always a part of me,

I'll always be here right by your side,
but I won't watch you self destruct until you die,

Think about us and how much we love you,
Turn your cloudy days into beautiful shades of blue, 

Remember one thing and that's all that I ask,
Please quit pretending and take of that faulty mask,

You say you're alone but that's a lie,
There's people here that for you would give their life,

Keep me in your heart I'll never fade away,
I hope you'll find your meaning; someday, 

Love you forever but that's all I can do,
No longer a prisoner to what you say and do


Details | I do not know? | |

Gold Star

Sometimes I sit and ponder
what it may be like
to have parents, not always 
looking for a petty fight
the love you feel, always
being there for you
day o' night

I wake up fighting a
constant battle,
I feel like I am in a circus
having to jump through hoops
my parents hold
to earn their admiration and 
approval

Earning their gold star
for the day
I was a rebel since day one
not trying to conform
dancing to the beat of a 
different drummer

Wishing to be accepted 
for who I want to be
and how I seek to spend my hours
nothing I ever do, seems to be good
enough

They talk about "emotional deposits"
i.e. spending time with them
but they spend too much time
picking and proving
reacting wrong, saying ignorant assumptions
they push me away, each day
'further and further I go
as soon as I make enough money
I'm gone

They act as if my artistic mind 
couldn't make money
like my dreams are distant relatives
of which I will never meet
but I strive to prove them wrong

Its bad enough being
one person versus the world
but when the army you fight
is led by your family, your blood
it's twice as hard to get up
in the morning, when the suns
rays dance on my closed
eyelids 

I try my best to be the kind
of person I want to be
despite their efforts to kill off
my individualistic soul
I have given up trying
to belong to which I 
was born unto
I'm simply playing the game

Hoping to win, one day
the chance to be myself
as I feel emulates me,
and regardless
have a proud
Mommy and Daddy
I do pray, I shall be
 free to be 
Heather Rose Marie


Details | Free verse | |

Skin Deep

Achilles' heel 
You’re another day older
The world’s much colder
She…

It’s not your fault
They were taken 
Don’t blame yourself 
for God’s mistake
Is…

Her beauty reflects your own
Her life reflects your future
Chasing rabbits will get you there faster
Loss of faith will bring you there faster
Watching…

The ball drops
It’s clever to see
What happens to us
And here we are
Waiting…

Yes, 
Take the evil out of this
You’re stronger
She’s stronger and always,
Loving…


Details | Free verse | |

MY GIRL

MY GIRL

Lazy summer days
Pigtails, French braids
Long silky hair blowing
In the wind
Days forever gone
Tears well up in my eyes
And I long once again
To hold her close
To see her smile
To hear her laughter
Tinkle like rain

Lord, shower down from heaven
Encouraging words of
Together we will be
In that glorious place
A world without pain
Hearts completely healed
Memories of yesterday
Live on today
Hope of a tomorrow
Full of promise

mja


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Free verse | |

A Spindle, an Hour-glass, and a Doll

This story is about a young girl named Sapphie Smith.
Her parents were poor, so they lived in a small house,
And Sapphie had only three toys,
An hour-glass, a spindle, and a doll.
The hour-glass had been her father's,
The spindle her mother's,
And when she was younger, Mother had made her the doll.
Sapphie had known no other life,
Therefore she was content with her toys and her small little bedroom.
She slept with the little rag doll every night,
Playing with it so much that it was frayed.
When she was about six years old,
An epidemic swept through the land.
Her parents wished they did not have to go to the village and work,
But they were so poor, they had no other choice.
Then, one day, Sapphie's parents did not come back;
Her father found good pay as a shepherd in the distant hills,
Where he would not see his family for a long time,
And her mother knew one day in the village 
That she had the dreadful sickness.
She did not go home because she loved her little daughter so much
That she did not wish to risk her getting sick.
But it tore her heart to pieces, 
knowing that she would never again see her beautiful daughter.
Sapphie wondered why her parents did not come home
As they did every evening.
It did not bother her much as she played with her toys;
The hour-glass, the doll, and the spindle,
Crawling into her little bed when she grew sleepy.
The next day, Sapphie was getting lonely without her mother,
So she went to look for her in the wooded hills around her house.
She soon grew weary, not having thought to eat breakfast,
And laid down to rest by a stream where she drank.
A kind woodsman found her and raised her like his own daughter,
But as the months passed, 
Her father came home, and found it empty,
Save the doll, the hour-glass, and the spindle.
He set them on the little table with three chairs,
Crying when he woke up and saw them every morning.
Sapphie found her father years later,
Which was the happiest day of her life.
Whenever she was sad, she looked on the mantle where the toys were
And remembered how wonderful it was to have her father again.


 # See About Poem #


Details | Couplet | |

When I Call You Mama

Mama can you hear me call your name?
Doesn't matter,I love you just the same.

Ninety years you've lived here on this earth.
And you have struggled ever since your birth.

A mother who was cold,a distant father.
An alcoholic husband who couldn't bother.

Now you live your days out in confusion.
Life to you is just a dark illusion.

When I call you mama,you just stare.
Sadly,I wonder is somebody there?

Yet I'll keep on showering you with love.
Some day we'll be together up above.


Details | Senryu | |

The Kids of Divorce

Mom and Dad divorce; the kids are damaged for life; but some are relieved.


Details | Concrete | |

Not really there at all

You used to say that what you did was to protect me. You use to act like you were the best damn person in the world. I used to want to be just like you. But now all i want to do is run away. I dont want to be like you. Instead of protecting me, You destory me, you broke me, and then you stomped me all over the ground. You make me wanna be a monster from all the pain you caused in my life. You lied from the start. You hurt me so bad that i cant even watch those simple father daughter movies young girls love. You have drained the emotion from me to a level that i will no longer allow myself to feel, but you know what dad its time to say good bye from you. All you are is a PAIN that tore me in pieces because of all the lies, the pain, the scars. just go. thats what i want.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Am II

I am a daughter
A sister
A granddaughter 
A niece 
A cousin 
A friend 
A student 
A young girl
And a grown women 

I am a giver and a taker 
A dreamer confined 
I talk to much and listen to well 
I do so little and try so hard 

I am confident and scared
Arrogant and afraid 
Mighty and small 
Loud and quiet 
Proud and destroyed
Charming and dreadful 

I am sick and well 
Truthful and doubted
Safe and harmful
Ugly and beautiful
Right and wrong 
Seen and hated

I am cared for and abused
Found and neglected  
Loved and alone 
Free and caged 

I am Alive and Dead


Details | Ballade | |

Elvis

Elvis.

Oh Elvis you were handsome, big and grand
At times folk found you hard to understand.
And life for you so quickly it did move
My friend it seems you had so much to prove.
You gave the world the power of your song
And your bonding with your mother was so strong.

Religion it was strong within your Psyche
To sing those spirituals you really liked.
Your mind at times was battered and so bruised
And times you seemed all mixed up and confused.
An enigma, you so different in your ways
You really brought some colour to our days.

You sang your songs, you made it to the top
In spite of this your troubles did not stop
As that greedy man he pushed you all the way
And kept you down and always had last say
Yes you were such an asset to this man
As you sang and made him rich it worked to plan.

When fame and fortune took you by the hand
It seemed you had the world at your command.
And then you lost the women in your life
Your mother and your daughter and your wife
Oh Lord it left you cold and oh so sad
And though you had so much your life turned bad.

And so you killed yourself with your bad ways
Cause joy was never there to fill your days.
I hope you’ve found some peace now where you are
Even though you be no more a star.
Elvis how your name just lingers on
As still the world gets lost within your songs


Details | Free verse | |

Scars of an Inner Child

You are not the man, you want to be
You said you were my Father, till, I discovered different
Enduring, daily beatings
Bashing the living day lights, out of a woman and a child
Repetitive, bad ass attitude, nasty streak
Mean and aggressive!
Fists, knives and guns, your weapons of chose
Out of control, abusive, devious
Relentless, over – bearing!
Breaking me, piece by piece
Confusing a child, with unhealthy love
Hand fed your bullshit, brain washed
Using me as your human, punching bag
This innocent child’s blood, staining your callas hands
My child’s curiosity, asking you one day
“Why do you hurt me and Mum?”
Your retort: “I am not your blood!”
I didn't understand, back then
Now, as an adult, I clearly understand!
Believe me, when I say
There was never a day that went past
That you didn't remind me of that!
My freedom, restrained
My sanity, tested
Caged, like a wild bird in captivity
Behind bars, looking out
 Here, I am today, free from your grip
Nursing, this inner child’s, bleeding love


Details | Epigram | |

A STRANGE BEDFELLOW

Woman Is Insulted,
By Challenging His Manhood;
Getting His Buddies To Rape,
Was His Way Of Reinforcing.

He, Not a Man,
Force Himself On a Feminist.
Give a Valid Reason While Rape.
Feminist Tempt Masculine

By Their Proactive Dressing.
Insubordination To Human Nature.
Could It Be That
Masculine Is Weak?

By The Sight Of Bear Breast?
Victims Feel Ashamed And Unclean.
FEMA Seventeen Events Took Place.
Recurring In Nightmare First Man Exploded Inside Her.

It Was Her First Encounter.
Screaming She Was,
Thought Masculine Was Urinating On Her.
Bath I Must Have Said For Years.

Dirty She Felt And Wasn’t Enough Water To Cleanse Her Body.
Rapist Defilement And Innocence Body.
Fellow, Who Should Be Ashamed?
And Feel Unclean And Unfit For Civilized Society?


Details | Free verse | |

Sorry i cant be perfect

Im trying to be perfect.
Im trying to make you happy. 
But no matter what i do.
Im just not perfect enough for 
you.

We argue EVERYDAY,
i cry EVERYDAY,
we cant go ONE day without an 
argument,
I wish we could.

You used to be my hero,
Did you know that?
Now your just a zero.
I cant talk to you.

Dont you understand? 
everytime i try,
to talk to you, we get in an 
arguemnt,
i cant take it another day,
i thought it was reationships 
pulling me apart.

But i was wrong, 
Its you,
Your making me loose hope,
Your makine me not feel, 
perfect.

Now, you dont even trust me,
That made me loose even more 
respect for you,
How could you say that?
I can be trusted!

Your my mother!
You should ALWAYS trust me!
But i guess im wrong,
im sorry ill never be perfect for 
you


Details | Free verse | |

My Worst

Hey dad,
please talk to me.
There's something I need to say.
I've realized something.
Just hear me out and you'll know I'm right.
I'll never be good enough for you.
I'll never meet your expectations.
And we're growing apart so fast
that I can barely tell what you want anymore.
All the things that you've said
hurt worse than you'll ever know.
And now we can't go back.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect.
But I'm always at my worst when I'm with you.
My mood so dark that I can't see.
You'll never understand how hard it is
and how bad it hurts to be me near you.


Details | Lyric | |

My Dad Another 24th


Days go past us, as do winds of season,
But never the days and years
That get stuck in some ear and age,
That engulf us like mirages in a desert.

One such mirage in my life is of my Dad,
Always before me, waiting for me;
Yet I never reach in time to be near;
So near to me, yet so far away.

Never did he forsake me, in life,
Never for moment, never for a day;
Always beside me in my hours of need —
A dear friend, a true companion, a great dad.

He suggested the best books to me,
But never pushed them into my hands;
A mere suggestion about the inputs —
The next thing I know, I have my hands full.

He sang tunes soothing, melodious,
But never forced me to listen to any songs;
A mere suggestion about the notes —
My passion for music was born!

His acquaintances, colleagues, all friends;
Value of friends in life is priceless;
A friend is a cool morning breeze,
Surround life with friends, my list’s endless.

Never fear life’s rollercoaster ride;
No problem is without a solution:
Life is too short to fret and fear;
And so, I tried, yet fear engulfed me.

He came back into my life in many forms,
Beating death; guided me with many a face:
As friends, notes of music, verses from books —
He never left me and my life, my Dad.


Details | Rhyme | |

Death's Door

Death is a time where people will never breathe
We can’t talk or walk and even squawk about our lives that we lead 

What do you suppose is behind deaths door?
I’m just wondering, because eventually is going to come to us all
Should we be scare? Or fight for it, not to happen? Or just let it be?
Has anyone thought about Death, like me?
 
Death has come for two people I had a chance to know on, 02/02/12; 
however, this was a week ago. 
Do you think they knew?

Some people may not know, when it’s time for them to go,
therefore; we should ask JESUS CHIRST to come into our lives
and be prepared for that day 

So, when death wants to knock on our door 
We can open it up and say I’m ready, let’s go, 
and see that place called Heaven’s Tour


Details | Narrative | |

too drunk, not drunk

When your with people you think you can trust

and you get a bit to drunk

and you thought you could trust him

after all your mom loved him

 

and you go to bed just afer 2

and mom went to bed just after 1

and he came in room just after 4

so you ask him for a pill...

He gets you the pill and you take it for your head

still drunk

     still drunk

and then you lay back down

still drunk

and then his hand snakes out

still drunk

and then his lips meet yours

still drunk

smell the beer

still drunk

and his hand slides under your gown

still drunk

and you just cant say no

too drunk

    too drunk

and his touches, soft but rough

not drunk

    not drunk

and he plays with your untuoched parts

not drunk

    not drunk

and you try to turn but you cant

not drunk

    not drunk

and you finnaly win and turn

not drunk

    not drunk

and he silently walks away

not drunk

    not drunk

and whispers to the dark room

are you drunk

    are you drunk

        are you drunk 

and you wish you could say that you were

so drunk

     so drunk

so you can turn, fall asleep, and forget

not drunk

    not drunk

and you know in deep and dark thoughts...

your not drunk

      your not drunk

             your not drunk


Details | Lyric | |

Junkie

you know its wrong 
but you do it to overpower the pain
not strong enough to stay away from it
you would die without it
in its presence your heart knows no shame
even if you try to win the fight
your heart will overrule your mind
Theres nothing you can do
its chained to you
you cant get free
look what this drug did to you


Details | Rhyme | |

Forget me not

to dad

Take these special words
i am about to say to you
lock them in a safe place
where this disease
cannot get to

I love you very much
proud of you for being strong
thank you for coming back into my life
i know you're sorry it took so long

Please remember 
these special times
do not forget 
the smile upon my face 

Remember the hugs 
I give you
do not forget 
my loving embrace

I love you, 
my dad
my first hero
and my friend 

Take these words 
I've said to you
Hold them tight,
to the end. 
                    M.K. Flame


Details | Free verse | |

Are you my daddy

''Are you my daddy'' the little child cried.

''No I'm your uncle'' the grown up replied,

''Are you going to stay, or go away  like my uncles always do?''

'' I love your mummy I'll stay I promise you I'll do''.

'' Everyone loves my mummy,'' the child says with a sigh.

''Will you take me to MacDonald's and buy me a toy and take me for a ride?''

''Yes I promise, but I maybe away for a while''.


''Are you my Daddy'' the little child cried,

''No I'm your uncle'', the grown up replied,

''Are you going away like all my uncles do?''.............................................


Peter Dome. copyright.2012.


Details | Haiku | |

an exotic dance

an exotic dance
performed for the gentlemen –
mother cries


Details | I do not know? | |

A Mothers Gift of Suicide

Each drop that lay congealing.Hardened pools of hearts blood feeling.Stacked higher to a ceiling which is seemingly without end or sight of this sorrow swelling.I can't stop or staunch the sound of silence so keenly suicidal.Tapestries hung from the seething keening.See this warp and weft of weeping.Broken languidly so looming of a thread cut selfishly assuming.She took Her Life.The selfless one S
he gave to Me,when the Daughter that I am to Her,She who bore and gave to Me.The very same,exactly like in every way,each drop by drop . Lifes very blood I hold in keeping a Thrumming of My Mothers Weeping.Oh Mother Wherefore Art Thou?Dost Thou Hear Thy Childs Lament?In One Fell Strroke You Wasted Time.Every Moment That We Would Spend.The Only Thing of Worth To Me I See In Faded Things.Her Pictures are Like Memories That God Will Never Bring.As Answers Heard on Dead Deaf Ears, a Cacophony of Screams ,are all I ever Hear.Sorrowed Horrors That I Bear, Tolling Woe and Days of This Despair.My Mother Bequeathed to Me the Day She Thought To Teach Me the Only Answer That I Contemplate When I Feel That Lifes Unfair.I Think This Day I'll Take This Gift She Gave To Me When I Was Born.Born Up On My Cold Dead Hands and Show The Way She Truly Taught Me Truly How To Care. A Mothers Gift Of Suicide James Patrick Kail Tuesday November 6th 2012


Details | Light Poetry | |

Where were You

Where were you
When i started to grow
Where were you
When my puberty started to show

Where were you
When my mind was confused
Where were you
When i was being misused

Where were you 
To teach me what i should know
Where were you
When i needed strength to grow

Mother 
Where were you


Details | Free verse | |

Woman from Congo

I am woman … 
WOMAN
Of Congo, 
Chewed, 
Spat out,
And bestowed with straw basket
To fetch water. 
You set upon us 
Wild dogs, 
Stretching our legs wide,
Ripping out our genitals and dignity
To nurse your children’s 
Craving.

‘fore you design gods;
Ones who create dolts, 
Small-minded folks, 
And feast on minerals – 
Congo was a lady
And I … I am
WOMAN, 
Strong black woman.

I bought some views 
On black market; 
They are rare commodities,
Sat down with glass of nsamba
on the rocks
And seriously contemplate …

It is hard to buy
Black market stuff;
We are set up
To think
East is inferior to west,
Barring them Europeans
Who broke their necks
To dwell in Canaan.

One thing is for sure,
They alleged a better name
And substitute 
The ones we were given;
Those with implications.
Oh, what things we see
When we start looking
From our own eyes.

I am WOMAN …
Woman alone
And taken against my desire,
Ravished by the corporations;
The gods who create your children
I am WOMAN, 
Woman from Congo.


Details | Tanka | |

Incest

 

Footsteps in the hall Hiding in my darkened room Smell his liquored breath Please don't daddy, I'll be good Please don't hurt me any more


Details | Rhyme | |

Pockets of Misery

I stuff my pockets with misery and contempt,
overloading their contents, pleasure exempt.
I fill the dark spaces with sadness and dread,
overexerting the capacity, till all hope is dead.

I shove bits of hatred, and pieces of despair,
into tightly bound pockets, I callously wear.
I force fists of fury, into perfect folds of misery,
massive bulging indignation, that only I can see.

I line its gruesome insides, with terror and pain,
thrusting handfuls of vanity with bouts of shame.
I lunge towards its innards, like a thrusting rocket;
these dark grisly holes, inside miserable pockets.


Details | Free verse | |

The soldier, the war, and I

The soldier, the war, and I


Today I am home and thinking to my self..
What would I be doing if I had a soldier coming home to me and my family?
What would I be doing if I was the soldier looking to going home to my family?
And then, I look back at all the years passed since this last war..

Many children have grown to become men, Others have grown to become soldiers
Where would I be if I had gone to the war and fought for my country?
Where would I be if I had gone and came back safely?
Where would I be if I had not gone at all because I was not qualified to go?
Would I be with my family or in a hospital injured?
Would I be standing proud, and laughing with my friends and family?
Or would I be dead, as I never got to come back?

Today I am home and thinking to myself..
Thinking of all of those brave soldiers, children still
Who are out there, suffering.. And some ill

Today I am home and thinking to myself..
How many woman are crying because of their gone loved ones
How many men are crying for their loved and missed ones
How many children are fatherless or motherless, or both!

And at the end I stop. I think no more..
I am grateful for the things I have, 
I am grateful for the people who surround me...
And I am sure grateful to never have gone to a war; yet, 
I sure appreciate the thoughts, courage, life, and suffering
Of all of those who have been touched by it.


Details | Blank verse | |

Breath

  I've been bedridden all day with an expensive migraine;
Drugged breath.Heartbeat strangled. Pulse struggles.
Eyes or holes or puss soaked reminders?
Drugged breath. Heartbeat strangled. Pulse struggles.
Lungs frosted. Nuts up stomach. Lunch stuck, taste forgotten.
 My pen is long gone from being the root of any personal discovery.
Drugged breath. Heartbeat strangled. Pulse struggles.
Facial features melt down mirror; egg yolk slicks out from throat.
Claim from me oceans of oxygen-I glimpse moments lost-replaced
with her image, forgotten.
 Cigerettes aren't suicide. I'll awake with drugged breath, frosted lungs 
coughing up blood colored regrets.
  I've been bed ridden all day with this expensive migraine-awake and praying
to the distance from life my behavior creates....


Details | Free verse | |

My Sarah x

My daughter had to leave Ireland for work. She is teaching English in Madrid, Spain and is very happy there. She was home during the summer and when she was leaving, I was so sad to see her go but happy that she is happy. We are all living in difficult times with this global recession. Sad that our children have to leave their own country, the history of Ireland especially.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you prepare to leave today,
I already miss you.
How fitting 
that the heavens
have opened
for another tearful
 “goodbye”.

I hear you in the kitchen.
The sound of you
comforts me.
Cooking is your ritual,
writing is mine.

I will immerse myself
in words
and you
will be part of them,
for you 
are a part of me.

What a blessing
to see the essence of me
carry through
in you.

MMC 2011


Details | Ballad | |

All Alone, 11-19-09

Mommy, I know I left you here.

Ring ring went the phone,

Little did we know never again would I answer

Ring ring went the phone.

 

I was eating breakfast when

Open slammed the door,

That morning how strongly I would have denied

I would end up on the floor.

 

I tried to scream, Mom, I really did.

But he had me. . .

He used my garden tools to beat me.

He had me.

 

Those tools used to bring me so much joy,

But his purpose was to aid him.

I had loved greeting visitors with garden so green

It's not the tools' fault though, I don't blame them.

 

I shielded my face with my hand,

But soon that was broken. . .

The simple trowel was my doom,

All too soon, my face shattered and broken. . .

 

There was blood everywhere;

Mom I was so scared.

To stop fighting though,

I never dare.

 

The sleek black laptop I had

Been given for Christmas

Which held all of my

Favorite pictures of us,

 

With it and my purse,

He ran away,

Not knowing I wouldn't

Be here today.

 

The white-washed walls

Of the hospital room

Only all too well reminded

Me of Amontillado's tomb.

 

I left you in the hospital

Though.  All alone. . .

They caught him, have comfort,

Even if you're alone.

 

I'm sorry Mommy,

I didn't want to go. . .

But who ever gets a choice?

I had to go.

 

How little did we know, that

One day, ring ring,

Never again would I answer

That phone, ring ring.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Daughter

 your easy bake oven
 why didn't i bake with you?
 can't go back and do
 the things we didn't do
 regret
 you wanted to play that day
 and selfish me
 what did i say
 mommy's tired
 we'll do it another day
 regret
 i took you to the park
 i took you to the zoo
 but so many other things we didn't do
 regret
 mommy will you play wis me
 oh you were so cute
 even when you shared
 your spitty little flute
 the time went by much too fast
 seems the good times never last
 regret
 make a tebby bear
 when i began to draw
 it seemed that a circle is all you ever saw
 make a ceeco you would say
 wish i could go back for one more day
 regret
 but in my book of memories
 i really must admit
 of all the funny things you said
 this one is your greatest hit...
 look mommy, i can do magikit!
 wish i could have just one more day
 to play the games we didn't play
 to say the things i didn't say
 regret


Details | Prose Poetry | |

TRUE MR RIGHT OR MR WRONG

No one really knows 
The True Mr. Right or the true Mr. Wrong
They all come singing, the same sad song
Her dad once told her Mr. Right
Will choose the right path to God
Mr. Wrong would lie, cheat
Make your head go round and round
Mr. Right would have dignity and pride
Mr. Wrong, false promises then hide
Ever hear Trini Mr. right or a Trini Mr. Wrong?
Full ah ma-ma-guy, fake smile...man be gone
Remember, be careful choosing Mr. Right
Be fearful of Mr. Wrong
And analyze all, their sad songs...

©Copyright November 1, 2011 by Brian Pierre-Alexander 
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Couplet | |

The Deadly Dart

Wherever I go through out my whole life,
I end up struggling with lots of strife.
Thinking that my life is a total waste,
Wanting it to be over in a haste.

I can feel the pain inside my own heart,
Like someone through at my a deadly dart.
The wound is easing deeper and deeper,
Will the pain ever stop getting bigger?

Feeling emo is never a good thing,
Cutting your arm makes a really bad sting.
Blood is dripping from my arms and my heart,
Failing to dodge the largest deadly dart.

Drowning in all the lies and self pity,
I live each day but always feel sh*tty.
I have lots of thoughts about suicide,
But then I think about those who have died.

Those who have died not just from suicide,
But also those who are really nice guys.
...
...
...
...This "poem" was actually suppose to be a couplet (on any thing you want) for my english 
class but i made this kind bcuz i was feeling emo that day...and also after i was done i read it 
over and it almost sound like a rap song which, i guess, is kinda funny and cool.........


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Rhyme | |

Little sister blues

the younger sister means always the last to get
they say its middle child syndrome but I'm the youngest yet
the baby of the family treated like a fool
smothered yet ignored following the rules

my older sibling ignore me for the majority of the time
but when they turn there attention i sure do pay for that crime
simple things like walking past and smacking the back of my head
with the parting shot following the lines "i do wish you were dead"

My parents are no better for all they see is the money sign
a nuisance that occurred when there life intertwined 
beaten down and left alone is this what the fates had planned?
answer me! Damn it! Answer me I demand!

So I guess what I'm feeling is little sister blues
forced to pay for others crimes until I'm old news
I just have to wait for  the final song
when I can spread my wings and finally be gone


Details | Rhyme | |

daddy stop

daddy stop,
it hurts too much,
your fingers burn,
the skin you touch,
daddy stop,
please go away,
you say it's just,
the way we play,
daddy stop,
im six years old,
i promise i'll learn,
to do what i'm told,
daddy stop,
don't come tonight,
so you and mommy,
don't have to fight,
daddy stop,
mommy cries,
you tell me,
to tell her lies,
daddy stop,
i've gone away,
and my little sister,
doesn't want to play.

if you or some one you know can relate please tell some body. let them help you.
@};~ read mommy listen. it goes with this.


Details | Narrative | |

Our Little Girl

The light I see
In your eyes
only when I speak of her.
Our little one.
She would have had your eyes,
your nose.
she would have had my hair 
and my my mouth.
Our little girl would have been perfect.
But that horrible day in July,
I cried and I hated myself.
That horrific day in July when I lost her.
My world broke down.
Now when I speak of her. 
Your eyes water up, 
as do mine.
But one day we'll see her. 
I promise.
Our little girl, 
is waiting for us.
I promise.
And one day,
she'll finally say daddy.
Our little girl.


Details | Rhyme | |

NO SUNSHINE, IS MINE

Away from the sun,  
    Ice cold has settled in;
No warmth,  no ray's;          
              Gone,
    is the brightness;
That once filled the moments,
     of all your days...

A cold wind,  blows strong;
  Allowing no entrance,
   Dusk till Dawn...

  A soft sleep,
     Though rare;
Releases your mind,
   from the frigid chilled air,
  allowing you too dream;
  Though skepticle, you dare...

 Quickly you embrace,
As you dream of the warmth,
     That once filled you with happiness;
  As you dream of the smile,
    that glowed from her face...


Details | Rhyme | |

PITTER, PITTER, PAT

I can still hear the sounds of her tiny little feet,
   going Pitter,Pitter, Pat;
As my skips a beat...
The smile upon her face,
   with that puppy she embraced;
  A struggling little angel,
   as she walks along in place...

Pitter, Pitter, Pat;
  Come her tiny little feet,
as she runs into the bedroom,
   just to check on me...
with her little hand in mine, and a big smile on her face;
    "This won't very hurt" she say's,
While she's tapping on my knee...

The Beauty in her heart, an innocence so redeemed;
  Replaces all the darkness and ugly I have seen...

Pitter, Pitter, pat:
  A distant sound you see;
Although she's gotten older,
  Just the way she look's at me;
As if I, were worth her Beauty, smiles, and all her precious dreams...

Pitter, Pitter, pat:
  My heart still skips a beat;
I've found an innocence so long ago lost;
  In this little child smiling up at me...

Pitter, Pitter, Pat,  as she jumps into my lap;
   She'll soon be grown and on her own,
    Just a memory this will be;
As I happily reminisce of the sound so sweet to me,
  the Pitter, Pitter, Pat;
  Of her tiny little feet...


Details | Lyric | |

In Your Love

Every time you kiss my lips 
I am drowning, I'm drowning
Like a never ending abyss
I am drowning, I'm drowning
Every time you whisper I miss you
I am drowning, I'm drowning
In your love,  in your love.

Life doesn't seem dangerous
When I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
Don't take it so serious
Cause I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
I don't care what they think of us
Cause I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
In your love, in your love

~ Leonard Napierskie


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Day

I am coming home
late once again.
It's freezing outside,
and I want to see my dad
whome I love.
I'm happy with my friends
until I walk through the door with them,
the worst mistake I could ever make.
Dad was okay
but then his treacherous girlfriend
who calls herself a "woman of God"
says "You're just going to let
her get away with coming home late
with her friends?!"
Dad shrugs his shoulders.
"You're not raising her right.
I'm leaving."
Then Dad gets furious,
but only with me.
He storms through the kitchen at me,
angry, arms flailing.
I didn't know that his next words
would change my life forever. 
"You made me lose
my house and my girlfriend.
I want nothing to do with you,
you're not my daughter anymore.
I don't love you.
I want you out tonight."
I lose all control-
bursting into tears, running to the bathroom.
As I collapse on my knees I cannot control the tears,
I cannot breathe. 
My breath comes in between long sobs.
My chest hurts. 
It hurts so badly,
the love I've lost.
My aunt's arms are wrapped
around me, but it doesn't help.

-Caroline Youngless


Details | Free verse | |

Us

The strangers came today
they said you were gone.
Gone? 
Impossible.
They're wrong.
It's a mistake,
a sick joke,
a horrible dream.
You can't be gone.
It's too soon.
There's so much left unsaid,
so much left to do,
so much life left to live.
We need more time,
we need you.
So they're wrong…
completely, totally, 
and irrevocably, wrong.
It's a mistake,
a sick joke,
a horrible dream.
It has to be...
right?
Yeah, of course it is.
Cuz I'm not ready.
Nowhere near ready
to let you go,
to say goodbye,
to accept the truth,
to face reality,
to admit you're gone.
So for now,
I choose to believe that
they're liars,
and lunatics,
and bastards.
For now, they're wrong.
And everything's as it should be.
You are you.
We are as we've always been…
together,
a team,
a family.
Quite simply,
we are...us.


Details | Couplet | |

Playtime

Wake up from your sleep
Its about time we reap
The happiness of the moment
Going on and on like a current

Lets go out in the sun
Its time we take a run
The rain will soon drizzle
Everything will soon frizzle

Today its so bright
Hold my hand tight
Imagine we can fly
Up and Up so high

As the clock ticks ten
Lets go into the den
I know as time slides
The pain will subside!


Details | Rhyme | |

A Child Loaned

I'll lend you for a little time
 a child of mine, he said,
 for you to love the while she lives
 and mourn for when she's dead.
 
It may be six or seven years,
 or twenty two or three,
 But will you, till I call her back,
 take care of her for me?
 
She'll bring her charms to gladden you,
 and should her stay be brief,
 You'll have her lovely memories
 as solace for your grief.
 
I cannot promise she will stay,
 since all from earth return;
 But there are lessons taught down there
 I want this child to learn.
 
I've looked this wide world over,
 in my search for teachers true;
 And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
 I have selected you.
 
Now will you give her all your love,
 nor think the labour vain;
 Nor hate me when I come to call,
 and take her back again?
 
I fancied that I heard them say,
 Dear Lord, Thy will be done;
 for all the joy the child shall bring,
 The risk of grief we'll run.
 
We'll shelter her with tenderness,
 We'll love her while we may;
 And for the happiness we've known,
 forever gratefull stay.
 
But should the angels call for her
 much sooner than we'd planned;
 We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
 and try to understand.
 
And maybe soon we will.


Details | Elegy | |

Bloodless On Mother's Day

There is a glare of stray sunlight
daring to reverberate
through spiderwebbed glass I haven't
found energy to fix
in the span of four years.
It is too much of a mirror,
too tangible a thought,
to make new.
It's lithe fingers, thin and bony, 
and mockingly bright,
steal over embossed cardstock that arrives, like clockwork,
in deepest sympathy.
And a thornless bouquet of pastels laden with
Babies Breath
only draws on blood long lost;
nobody seems to comprehend such an allegory,
or lack there of,
so it can't be carried
over the steps.




"Bloodless On Mother's Day"
Jenna-Nichole Conrad
Wordsmith


Details | Epic | |

Hell To The Grave Part 2

A knife digs into my leg.
 I look down and see my leg turning the same colour as the other’s skin.
Rotting, putrid flesh, spreading its disease up my thigh.
Pain arcs across my chest, spilling into my neck. 
My hands, they’re becoming tentacles as well. 
I can feel my bones shattering, slicing through my skin.

A flash of pain, and I’m on my knees.
My head is splitting from the pain. I can’t even think.
What’s my name?
 Where am I?
 I hear a hoarse voice in the back of my mind.
Give in. Let go. Now.
Unfortunately I don’t have a choice. My mind, it feels crowded.
Something is in my mind. 
“GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!” I scream, deafening myself.
A blood red is creeping across my vision, clouding my view.
More piercing pain, I can feel my back snapping. 
I topple over to my side. My body is convulsing uncontrollably.
Finally, the pain gets the best of me. I can’t take it any longer.
The pressure in my head, consuming my being. 
I attempt one last bravado. 
I cling to one memory. 
The memory of the girl. 
My daughter. 
But soon even she is corrupted. 
The voice, calling to me. Tempting me. Strangling my mind. 

Then, just before I black out, I hear her voice.
Come play with the me. Join us.
The sickly sweet, echoing charm of her morphs into a deep, throaty rumble.

Join me in the grave.
I am the Gravemind.


Details | Free verse | |

Fly Home, Little Angel

“Come fluttering words, come drifting to me...” A Rambling Poet

A gentle breeze brings me the soft smell
So familiar it calms my tear-filled eyes instantaneously.
I venture closer to the source.
Two ebony, round vases resting atop a sill.
The scent of the roses and carnations flit about me,
As they did about her so little ago.
Yet we have laid her softly
After she was slain
Into the moist, soft soil from which her scent derived.
Always like a butterfly did flora float about her.
So small, and pale, with mahogany hair
When we found her lay flared about her delicate head
Like the halo our Father gifted her.
For it came about in such a gentle flow
And jade eyes, calm as the sea
In which we found her
They sparkled like the sun dancing off the waves.
Her eyes were open, and matched the swirling surf.
The tears flow silver from my own emerald orbs
I peer into mucky puddles lying about 
And see her face in my own.
I bore her from my womb
Yet our Lord has called her home
To save her from the world's cruelty
An Angel to watch this land
I stopped to smell the flowers
Not rushing bust taking life in time
The wind blew by my ear
And I heard the whisper of a little Angel
“I love you, Mommy”

Erika Raiken
Contest: What is she thinking... - Constance La France ~A Rambling Poet~
7.27.2011


Details | I do not know? | |

When you outgrow your shoes

Just to sit and look at you,
To admire the person you have become.
To see how much you have grown--
Makes me happy and sad all at the same time. 
I am happy because you followed my directions,
And you are succeeding in your life. 
You have set goals and have overcome obstacles. 
You neve give up and you do the very best you can. 
It makes me happy when I see that smile on your face,
To hear your voice giggle and to know that I can still 
Hug and squeeze you like the little child you once were. 
But my heart is sad because
You can't walk and dance on my feet no more,
You cant sit on my lap and play pat-a-cake like you use to, 
And I cant carry you in my arms like I use to. 
You are growing up, and although there is a 
great big world out there for you to discover, 
Each new day is a new leaf turned , 
And an old memory put into the past. 
There is such a unique bond between a mother and her child,
It is too special to fathom or even explain. 
You want your children to grow up and become someone special, 
But you dont want it to happen too fast. 
And before you know it, their whole infant and toddler years 
Have flashed by in a moments time --
And you are looking and thinking back of when you use to 
Hold and cuddle them and sing them lullabies to soothe them to sleep. 
So, my dear daughter, although you got some time still to grow, 
When you outgrow your shoes and you have left home---
I will still be looking back and will remember
The person you were and the wonderful person
 You've grown to become. 


Alicia Griego 
10/04/06
















Details | Lyric | |

False Senses

Do you realize that you lost? Do you realize that I won? Or did you think it was a tie In your sick twisted mind? Stuck in your lies Concrete at your feet You never took a step You never made a sound When the gun was fired And I ran for my life Do you realize that you lost? Battered and tossed By your own malfunction Wires you crossed Leaning on a crutch From wounds self inflicted Do you realize that I won? Running like fire Brighter than the sun Autumn behind my head Summer in my eyes So near the finish line The reward is mine Or did you think it was a tie? Tangled web behind your eyes Wrapped in delusions Coming to false conclusions In your sick twisted mind Do you realize that you lost? Do you realize that I won? Or did you think it was a tie In your sick twisted mind? Stuck in your lies Concrete at your feet You never took a step You never made a sound When the gun was fired And I ran for my life


Details | Verse | |

Somewhere, Right Now

Somewhere, right now, a child is crying.
Somewhere, right now, a child is dying,
at the hands of a monster that feels no shame.
How could you hurt a child?
The eyes of innocent souls
marked with pain and fear,
scarred forever with wound that will never heal.

Somewhere, right now, a girl looks in the mirror
and doesn't want to live with what she sees.
They call her ugly.
They call her stupid.
They call her fat or useless or crazy.
A child should live with love and kindness.
She doesn't want to live at all.

Somewhere, right now, a child is praying.
She hopes that tonight will never come.
When the lights go out the war begins.
She'll fight.
She'll cry.
She'll try to run.
But the battle is over.
The enemy won.
She lies there raw and cold and used
with the knowledge that night will come again
in her painful nightmare without an end.


Details | Epic | |

Hell To The Grave Part 1

Hell freezes over. Fire into ice. 
Ice…but without the chill, the cold.
I try to rethink how this happened. 
How a world so green, so vibrant, become hell. 
And now a pale white wasteland.

Agony to relief. A relief that can’t possibly last. 
Impossibilities. A dream. Numbness.
As I emerge from my shelter, built to withstand dry heat, not cool precipitation.
I wonder at the beauty of this new and strange world.
The scorching I’ve received, now soothed by the cooler air.
Miniscule crystals, floating slowly to the earth, sticking to my hair. 
Like dust. Not cold.

I see others as well, marveling at this white world,
 revealing themselves to be inadequately clothed for this overnight change.
I hear a child’s laughter, excited screams as she experiences the cold for the first time.

I turn to watch, a smile on my face. 
There in the white, brash scarlet stains the pureness. 
The girl’s excitement turns to anguish.
She clutches her head, letting out a piercing cry.
Before my eyes, she transforms. 
Her arms, becoming broken and lengthy, ending in tentacles.
Her face, distorted beyond recognition.

More cries, bawling, hammering of fists.
All around me, those whom I’ve grown up with become unrecognizable.
Their skin becomes a sickly green beige, the colour of vomit.

Suddenly everything stops. Silence…






Details | Alliteration | |

She girl

She lives with friends.
She meets her loves.
She starts her work.
She sits as a dove.
She runs her life.
She's got all that.
But then she's found
Dead on the track.


Details | Free verse | |

Hot Oil In China

We have hot oil in China,
  Rising slowly from the ground
  There is a deep dense fog hovering round

The air is smokey, so dense it seems green
  The sun so hot it's making everyone lean
  Curfews so early all think it's obscene

And the hot oil keeps rising, if you know what I mean
  Hot oil keeps rising, it doesn't go down
  It's been well over a month since it covered the ground

Machinery moves carelessly all through the night
  I bothers us so much we boarded up the windows tight
  I bought ear plugs but I gave them to my brother Mike

Bells keep bleeping on and off go the lights
  So another pair of ear plugs I bought
  School won't let me wear them, saying I'll rot

So I decided to grow my hair long 
  Hide my ear plugs under it all day long

But when I go home at night 
  And I cover up really tight
  And I pray because theres nothing else we can do
  Oh hear me Lord, don't let my mother find the ear plugs in my shoe


Details | I do not know? | |

A Suicide Confession

Cut my wrist once, cut my wrist twice
Now my blood is flowing, so its time to
Say what’s on my mind,
I know you wont miss me, there’s
No reason why you should
But just hear my final confessions
If you would…..

I lost a good friend who meant a lot to 
Me, over a stupid misunderstanding
And a possible lie thought was brought 
To me. Everyone tried to sway me this
Way and that, but I still lost my friend
This is fact

I also lost my hear to which made me
Feel like a fool because I also lost my
Friend whom I lost my heart too. If 
Only I could do it all again…wait what
Am I talking about!?! See I told you I’m
A fool I wouldn’t change a thing this much
Is so true

I hurt these guys feelings and I cant take it
Back. I’m sorry but I don’t like you like that
My friends advised me to give one of them a
Chance but I couldn’t do it so I hurt them all
In the end

My family has been there right by my side
Drying my tears whenever I cried. But 
Sometimes they don’t realize the reason
Behind my tears, because I became an expert
Of hiding the pain and all of the hurt due to
Recent years

My biological father and his mother is a prick,
Believe me, spreading lies which causes pain
To my heart because somehow I feel its all
My fault. My birth separated my parents to 
this very day . So I feel very ashamed. Everyday
When I think of my biological dad I feel like
If it wasn’t for me, he would be with my 
Mother living happily

So now as I lay in the tub full of my blood
And tears, I say “Good-Bye” and “Thank You”
For listening to My Suicide Confessions…






Details | Free verse | |

she wonders

She wonders what you’re doing
and how you're living life
what new things did you learn today
and how did you sleep last night
did you feel raindrops on your face
or sunshine in your eye
of all the questions left uknown
the biggest one she has is why
why can’t you be together
why can’t she watch you grow
why can’t she guide you through this world
this she just does not know
but she promises you’ll be together
no matter how long it seems
just know your always in her heart
and always in her dreams

Poem is dedicated to a dear friend of mine 
P.G  Always remember sweetie true love is never lost, you will meet again someday.


Details | I do not know? | |

Another Year On

So many things that go around,
Yet in this crowd there is no sound,
The world seams dead and void inside,
And I can’t seem to run and hide.

I hear her screaming out for help,
She gives a final wounded yelp,
She hits the floor and eyes turn black,
Now she knows she can’t turn back.

Those left behind hide up and die,
No one ever wants to cry,
The tears of blood cause too much pain,
Our poisoned hearts are not the same.

As your body dissolves to ash,
The whole world changes in a flash,
No more happiness for us to share,
No more mother to love and care.



Details | Verse | |

He Knows

What words can I use to ease the pain you carry in your heart,
It saddens me to see you suffering in a world gloomy and dark.
    All your days are filled with thoughts of  worries and guilty feelings,
From dusk till dawn you go on and on but your life has no meaning.
   These twisted ideas of your misunderstood emotions driving you insane,
Night after night you will toss and turn thinking  you are the blame .
   There was nothing more we could do that would have changed that day,
It was his time and we had no choices because that is just Gods way .
   You must remember  he was never alone no matter  what you may remember,
Please get by this and get on with your life and forget that day in late September.
   How angry he would be if  he was here and saw how you  have not moved on,
That's something we know he would say by telling you that you are wrong.
   I can't imagine him ever wanting you to stop living after he had passed away,
Don't be a fool wasting your life thinking about me that's what he would  say.
   How do I help make it better for you so there is no more pain ,
First you must stop feeling it's your fault and stop taking the blame .
   Get out of this  cold dark and lonely place start living your life,
Move on to better days where you will sleep through the nights.
   He has never left you and has been here beside you all along,
Here to help you to get on with your life now that he is gone.
   It's your happiness that has him trapped here in our time ,
He will move on to where he must be once he is out of your mind.
   Think only of the good things and the love that was always there,
You never have to worry anymore he has always known you cared .
   Please do this for me so you can see you will alwys be daddy's girl,
I need you back the way you were which was a part of my world.
Tac



Details | I do not know? | |

Angel of mine

Angel of mines

You were my heart  my world my baby girl
It's still so hard for me to believe that you are gone
All I ever wanted for you was the best
To be able to see you walk, run and play
I wanted to see the woman that you would become someday
Although God had other plans he called you home
Now I sit here missing you and feeling so all alone
What I wouldn't give to see your beautiful smile
Or feel your innocent touch
You were our world Eygpt and we miss you so very much
I know that it isn't going to be easy living without you here
And all I can do is cry and my thoughts seem so unclear
At times I sit and wonder why God had to take you from us 
All to soon I had so many plans for you so many things we were going to do
I try to have peace in knowing that you are in a better place and one day again I will see your smiling face
So to you I say my child it's okay you can take God's hand he is going to walk with you to the promise land
And when it's time for the Lord to call me home just know my child that you will not be alone 
Sleep with the angels baby now you can rest I have no more worries because 
you're in the hands of the best!

R.i.p Baby girl Eygpt Shanea Johnson
Written with love just for you by your
big cousin Eleanor Bolden <3


Details | Bio | |

At the bottom of your glass

I weep tears filled with the memories
All the joy when we first wed
When we'd stay up all night talking
In our matrimonial bed

We'd dream and plan our future
Between our nocturnal fun
Never thinking about sleeping
Until we saw the sun

Those night were full of magic
Hope and trust for the unknown
All the day time spent together
Building family life and home

With a blink of time we were three
and we dreamed of being four
but we never heard the evil
that was knocking at the door

We didn't see it coming
Or hear tap tap at the door
But I knew that it had found us
when I saw you on the floor
with our child curled up with you
when she was just one year old
just wanting her sweet mother
to stop her feeling cold

Was this evil sent to hurt me

Retribution for my past

But it seemed to be more happy
At the bottom of your glass


Details | Rhyme | |

In the Woods

I found your clothes
And your little pink lunchbox
Why was it you they chose
Of you, nobody talks

How old were you
What was your name
I wish I knew
Who was to blame

I hope there wasn't pain
I hope it didn't last long
Maybe your name was Jane
Did you see them come along

Why do they do this
They take peoples lives
Take a girl from bliss
Using their knives

I hope it's better up there
Away from those woods
What happened wasn't fair
I wish it was me, instead, in the woods

*Written on May 8, 2012*


Details | I do not know? | |

The Other Woman

My muddied, motherly eyes I turned away
When he looked at her in that lustful way
Drowning my voice as my tongue I silenced
She was my shield against his violence
I had so devalued her existence
That from me he got no resistance
When on her tight lips his kisses landed
To her, the fault I scornfully handed
When timidly upon his lap she sat
I knew his manhood was eager to chat
I saw the smutty sneaky little snake
Her innocence he was ready to take
When I chose to ignore his erection
I packed away parental protection
She was the prey I threw into his cage
She could absorb his penetrating rage
I knew fear was his aphrodisiac
With her tears she begged for him to attack
Excited, his entrance was really vicious
To him, her agony was delicious
He filled her with soul stealing suffocating shame
The devil’s spawn, she was the one I blamed
When he drifted, he slithered into her bed
Dreaming of the day, when she would drop dead
She was the other woman, my rival
I had no regard for her survival
When his heavy fist fractured her fresh face, 
I was glad she was there to take my place
Into her spirit I twisted the knife
Taking from her everything but her life
In his wrath I left her alone to drown 
Abdicating my maternal crown


Details | Rhyme | |

The Addiction Of Pornography


The Addiction Of Pornogtaphy...

.
A Christian brother had a confession.
Pornography in his life was an addiction .
I couldn't believe the words 
I began to hear.
As a message of hopelessness from 
his lips began to appear.

I began to see tears running down his cheek.
“I go to counseling once a week.”
This was a “man of God” as many believed.
True joy and fulfillment were no longer achieved.

As the lust in his heart began to burn.
Jesus-his once true love-he longed to return.
In the coming days and weeks ahead.
So many ungodly thoughts entered his head.

He began to lose his family and all he cherished.
His life before him began to perish
Then one night in deep agony, 
to God, he cried out;
“Is this what life is really all about?”


“Dear Jesus...in repentance I come to you.”
“I have sinned against God and my family too.”
He forsook the things he thought gave him pleasure.
And lived according to God's word
—his true treasure.
Run from every evil temptation
& lust of the flesh.
Or your life will end up in a huge mess!

Pornography in your life will destroy and decay.
From it's appearance—you must run away!
Enjoy Godly relationships as
Christ meant them to be.
Walk anew in God's love—Only HE 
can SET YOU FREE!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Quatrain | |

Living with Mother Nature's Bruise

We turned to each other when we heard on the news
Our daughters place of work, enduring mother nature's bruise
She worked on an island now swamped with wrath
To her we now travel to retrace her last path

To go there blind never knowing if she breathes
Thoughts think the worst as we subconsciously grieve
Our daughter, our life, as we make plans to depart
Facing hours of torment as our minds tear apart

To this island we head where she enjoys life to the full
Thinking back to her young years, learning in school
This paradise as she calls it, in the Indian Ocean
Our minds picture, her love to live notions

We step of the plane into a world far from home
Praying we find her, dead or alive, to never roam
To the north of the island, Aceh is it's name
Is this where we find her, with no one to blame

We reach the village, it's where our daughter calls home
Teaching the youngsters English along the beaches they combed
We wander dazed and confused, joining the crying and the grieving
Emotional rescuers surround us, they just keep on believing

Hand in hand we stare hoping, as our eyes glimpse the lost
Our daughters not there, as we join the emotional exhaust
Suddenly I feel a tugging on my sleeve
Lady lady, you my teachers mama, come with me please

Looking down, my eyes cascading with tears
A beautiful young girl, momentarily relieving my fears
Lady lady, please please, come with me please
To a makeshift hospital she takes us, our hearts so in unease

To a door we arrive, she cries, mama's teacher mama's teacher
As she is led away by the hospital preacher
We are greeted by a doctor, taken through corridors of death
The relieving earlier felt, now replaced by inner reft

The stench of death drifts, lost souls we feel crying
Resonating sounds echo, the last breaths of the dying
Cubicle after cubicle, every curtain our hearts run
In broken English, is she the one, is she the one

The second curtain from the last, the doctor once again opens
Despair and tears increase, parents lost in their hoping
Before us lies, a broken twisted bandaged soul
The tattoo on her ankle, I cry Nicole, it's our Nicole

Engulfed with emotions our cheeks streaming with tears
Viewing the earlier posters, parents losing their fears
Living this moment, realising their daughter has lived
As we look back to the pictures, knowing families are sieved

Words we will remember until the day we are gone
That moment we heard, is she the one, is she the one


Details | Couplet | |

The Nightmares

Nightmares that come are so bad I'm  afraid to sleep
Exhaustion enters making sleep needs reach their peak

A little light sleep to settle down falling falling deeply sound
The horror no no go away nightmares please dissipate

Same dreams every night since my darling baby cried
She nursed, very well fed in the morning she died

Nightmares night afer night awaking my baby I dread
Being rocked, rocked, rocked, looking down my baby's dead



(My adoptive mother lost a child, a little girl at age nine months old.  Back then people used 
home remedies very seldom saw a doctor.  The child had been sick with a cold, mother fed 
her and the next morning she was dead.  The  doctor who examined  the corpse said that 
she had had pneumonia and choked to dead on the mucous.)


Details | Rhyme | |

Astheneia

She tries to raise her right, hoping to win the good fight
Praying that her daughter is safe and trying to feel right
Never seems considered with the unimportance of everything
If love were items, get a bigger table for what she brings
Her heart and mind are full but inside seeming to disagree
She never asks for anything more than days being pain free
Life was not ever given and she does not expect it will be
But everyone knows life is not meant to be lived in misery
One day she will get to the bottom of what is plaguing her
School and work are diversions in between times to recover
She is open-heartedly candid and singular in a lot of ways
Living her life under the sun looking for any sort of rays


Details | I do not know? | |

The Death Of Life

When you think of death, you think it will be hard to face
But when you come face to face with death,
You know your loved one could never be replaced.

My mum brought me into this world and taught me 
All the things that i need to know,
Mum taught me love, how to love 
And helped my personality to grow.

Now I've grown into a young woman i have confidence,
Knowledge and maturity beyond my years,
But having all this doesn't stop the tears!

And so i have learnt to count the tears as a blessing,
For each time i shed a tear, i can hear mum say
"Dont cry darling Im still here."

Months go on and people resume life like normal, but  my pain doesn't ease
And i try to go on with a hole in my heart,
And the feeling that its being squeezed.

I have people offering me support that i feel is out of pity
And i have people happy to lend a hand,
Im scared to take their hand because
I have already lost my best friend!


Details | Senryu | |

Lost Forever

Casey Anthony--
found not guilty, yet her child
is lost forever


Details | Rhyme | |

Daughter to Father

They threatened to rape me
I wish you were there
They wanted to kill me
Why weren't you there

I needed protection
I tried to ignore
I needed your affection
They pushed me to the floor

I cut so deep
So many pills I took
I still weep
At my wrist don't look

All of this I hide
Where are you now
The blood hasn't dried
I cut just now

I need you 
Where is my father
Days left I have few
This is your daughter


*Written on May 5, 2012*


Details | I do not know? | |

I Hate

I hate the birth mark under my right eye
I hate my extremely static hair
I hate my big bottom lip
I hate my spotty nose

I hate that I have really *****y times
I hate that people only remember me for my really *****y times
I hate that the real *****es hate me
I hate being cautious so they don’t ***** about me

I hate that I cry over everything
I hate that people know I cry over everything
I hate that I hide from them anyway
I hate that they actually don’t care 

I hate the fact that my brother is leaving home next year
I hate the fact that I cried when he told me that
I hate the fact that I hid my tears from him
I hate the fact that he’s all I really have left

I hate my father for making me feel like he doesn’t care about me
I hate my mother for making me feel like she picked him over me
I hate that my brother had to look after me when they couldn’t be bothered
I hate that, in my eyes, they don’t deserve to be called mum and dad

I hate that when I was younger I had to run away from my father
I hate that my mother and brother left me by myself that day
I hate that they left me closer to my father
I hate that they went somewhere I would have felt safer

I hate that I feel like my friends are slowly fading away from me
I hate that I feel like I’m a third wheel
I hate that I feel like my friend’s don’t trust me
I hate that I feel like I can’t trust my friends

I hate the feeling of loneliness
I hate that I read books to escape to a world better than mine
I hate that I write to create a better life than my own
I hate that people want to invade that one heaven I invented

I hate that people ask me why I made Katy Clover Taylor
I hate that I had to make a role model for myself
I hate that she is the person I desperately want to be
I hate that she is the one thing I will never live up to

I hate that I feel like my grades would grasp my families attention
I hate that feeling of disappointment when I get a bad grade
I hate feeling like I have to live up to an expectation to hold their attention
I hate that I am relied on because of my grades

I hate that I am an older mind trapped in a younger body
I hate that I am limited in what I can do because of my age
I hate not being trusted upon
I hate people treating me as a kid

I hate not telling people how I feel
I hate hiding behind an invisible barrier
I hate not being able to share how I feel with people
I hate being scared that they won’t care.

I hate people judging me
I hate judging people
I hate that feeling of giving up
I hate the feeling of losing when I didn’t give up

I hate the choices I have made
I hate that nobody thinks I can live up to my dream
I hate people thinking they are so much better than me
I hate the fact that they are right

I hate that I will never make a good girlfriend
I hate the fact I know nobody would fall for me
I hate knowing that no one would help me pick up my life
I hate that it has fallen apart

I hate hurting the people I love
I hate them not loving me anymore
I hate knowing that what I would do would hurt people
I hate the fact I do it anyway

I hate knowing that I do all of this
I hate knowing I hate all of this
I hate trying to change it
I hate that I am not able to change it

I hate that I try not to give up hope
I hate knowing all hope is lost
I hate that I still try and cling to it anyway
I hate knowing I failed at that too

But most of all

I hate not being able to express this until now
I hate that this still won’t change a thing
I hate thinking that it still might
I hate knowing that no one cares


Details | Tanka | |

Absenteeism

We agreed on this
I stamp on your toe, slyly
You cannot feel it
Eyes on what you want the most
This is why you kept me home.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Dad Left Me My Heavenly Father Found Me

My Dad Left Me... My Father Found Me! I remember dad tucking me into bed each night. I somehow knew "everything was going to be allright." I remember the Bible stories he had read. Each night before I went to bed. I remember the smile dad had on his face. It was like "love all over the place." Then one night. he left. I didn't know why. The many nights I'd lay awake and cry. How could this happen? I was so sad... I became very upset, angry and mad. How could God let this happen to our family? I thought dad loved us and was happy. He never returned... Never did explain... I began to curse even the mention of his name. Then one day, I read the Bible and began to see... How much Jesus really does love me! I asked him to be the father of my life today. I'll never forget the words he had to say; "I'll be with you each step that is taken." I love you so much... You're never forsaken!" Jesus... my heavenly father, has given me love so precious. I have a relationship with him... that's so nutritious! My dad left me. My (heavenly) father found me. And now each day... His love surrounds me! By JIm Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Her Handsome Man

She sits alone crying,
playing with the ring upon her hand;
The services are over
in memory of her handsome man.

Words to say to comfort her
I am at a lost to find;
As she contemplates her future
who knows what it is on her mind.

It was only five short years ago
that I walked her down the aisle;
A more beautiful face I’ve never seen,
glowing with that smile.

He stood there proud and nervous
looking gallant in his tux;
By marrying our daughter,
he would be joining us.

Together they both joined as one,
a pairing we approved;
Even though our only daughter,
away from us would move.

Wishes for a long and healthy life together
were given on that day;
Too bad that they weren’t heard on high,
for his health would start to fade.

She nursed him through that final year
as we watched her from the side;
We shared her grief and sorrow
when too young he upped and died.

She now sits alone crying,
playing with the ring upon her hand;
The services are over
in memory of her handsome man.


Details | Narrative | |

Today Is September 1 2007

On this day 16 years ago a beautiful baby girl was born.
As I cried they took her away.
My grandmother watching as if nothing were wrong.
Photos came for a brief moment then stopped
She was gone never to be herd from or seen.
It seemed as if she just vanished.
The agencies said her new family had moved.
No forwarding address to be found.
They apologize for the inconvenience.
Trying to convince me not to give up hope.
Hope what is this, something I find hard to have.
Years have come and gone and not a word.
The last photo I reserved she must have been 3 or 4 years old.
My search it still continues today, 
but not a trace of her or her family do I see.
On this the anniversary of her birth
 I still cry for the loss of my baby girl I bore so long ago.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Waking up

A dash from the door,
and i felt my heart throbbing.
Your occurrence definitely,
meant the worst to happen.
I never knew what i could have done,
to experience your cruelty.
When i only needed a papa,
 to love me like his only daughter.

your yells bloody murder,
shook the whole neighborhood,
spreading smacks and hacks,
up in arms  for no reason.
Made scrub the whole dwelling,
as if i was a house help,
or a bustard from the shanties
who was an intruder to your whole being

"For the love of money,
is the root of all evil".
To no doubt,the video of the proverb,
was loading in front of me.
That money is thicker than blood,
And i can go to hell for all you cared.
I wondered why?
The olden poor days,
why they did flew away.
Then it was simple and joyous,
Although  it was hard to get all,
i could see your struggle,
i could see your care and anxiety,
to my well being,
Now i find it hard to plaster,
A smile to my face.

You told me,
Education was the key to a better future.
And when blessed with required resources,
You were going to offer me,
Your promises bored no fruit,
I only see your hatred and anger towards me.
From a lovely daughter,
Now you attract my attention,
Via a little devil.
From a joyous girl,
Now am always mourning.
From this deep sleep you put me in,
keep me wondering,
to where my earlier papa went?

All and all,
I could not forget the virtues,
you taught me,
Safely i saved like a print in my mind, 
To always pray and have faith in God.
To believe in what we do not see,
And like a 'pap',
my best papa in the world was there.
Together yawning from the long deep slumber.

Janet Muthoni
11-27-2012


Details | Ballad | |

Night, Twenty First December

The dry breeze moves gently
Infecting the Hamlet with its cool temper
Even the birds shake and generate calmly
A young lady sat at the front of a mansion
Her oily body shines with the aid of the moon. Anon
She look up to the sky and she remember
Her head comes down like a withered rose, sadly.
Her maids calls her in, she refuses she is forlorn.

I was fourteen when our neighbor came to take me
My parents, happy that their daughter goes to the city
Gave her presents. My parents hugged and gave me a pea
She hold my hand roughly as we walk along the street some people pity
Me. She left me with some men. We didn't eat till night only a nut
We were twenty. We were packed in a juggernaut
We slept in the container till morn. We had all cried like a dying kitty
My good neighbor is nowhere and they stood on us like Mcafee
Fifteen of us where above fifteen. Each of them was to be a harlot.

Two years for me to join them I spent as a house worker
With a man a wife and four kids. No I worked more than break pads
It was a house of six rooms of which I am the washer
I wash clothes from pants to suits to wears mostly laces and jacquards.
The box room was where I slept like a rodent
Though delicious I ate twice daily, the dogs six times with content
I never went to school; to the kids I was a rival and always a loser
After my second year I flee to the streets where I prayed to meet some lads
All alone I was lost not knowing were to go I slept under a bridge tent.

Then I turn to the markets to carry loads for lords
Before then I had been raped twice
The token I got I used to maintain despite all odds
By then I had known the city. Going to my parents was my one vice
They received me with high expectations
But they saw and got nothing. They asked me questions.
I promised not to tell the truth I told them good words
They wished to hear. To come back home three years after was very nice
I cried, I had to endure the shame, villagers taught I should be rich I got no 
ovations.

She now leaves in a villa 
As the governess. Her maids call her in once more
With their dry lips. With her face now unwithered
She rise up to retire at the door
She looks back at the sky and her smiles awaken.
Twenty first December she was taken
Twenty first December the day she was raped at the street corner
Twenty first December today. Her name? Bimpe Oladapo
Twenty first December the day she will die. That day is waiting.


Details | Verse | |

elected

home land my claims my status false statements, interests of those of secondary gaines, to voice and ask inquires led to more flaggs of red what is to hide shcemes and lies slander is to cover white colar crimes, above the laws and rules, done best at....


Details | Rhyme | |

My Parents Affair

You’re supposed to be there for me
Someone I can trust
But the things you’ve done, more than once 
Have filled me with disgust

You cheat, you lie, you sleep around
You clearly have no guilt
What happened to the life we had,
And all the walls that we had built?

You never showed me affection
Not from the very start
Now we’re a broken family
Five lives all torn apart

How can you act like things are fine
When life has never been so bad
The things you’ve said are hurtful
I don’t know how you’re still so mad

You always think you’re in the right
How can you be so vane?
With all the constant drama
Our “family” is driving me insane

Just because I’m not a baby
Doesn’t mean I don’t still need you around
But I guess now you’re too busy
With the new family you have found

You made it very clear to me
The day you walked right out that door
It’s really very simple
You just don’t love me anymore


Details | Ballad | |

A Question of Honor

Dedicated to Noor Al-Maleki You Try, You Try so hard To put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is it Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views You Have set me Free, Can't You See I Won't have to face a Tyrant anymore Your gaze used to Stun But Now It Just Burns Under the Sun Never Enough to Be Myself Never Enough to Be Free I will not Bow to You I will not Kneel Before You Smothering Liberty Condoning Freedom This way is unjust This way only brings out our worse Hatred and Mistrust War and malice no know law You Try, You Try so hard to put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views I am The Flame you Greatly Hate I am The Flame you greatly fear Some cannot handle the truth It shows they are the Criminals You are one of them You're the problem This misdeed will not live on without the hate of your name Honor Is not real It's just an emotion that only you feel You're another bulwark Against the truth No one Will Bow No one Will Kneel You Try, You Try so hard to put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is it Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views You Fear The Truth You Fear the reality you are the criminal against all humanity We must end these lies Before Honor Will Strike again You Try, You Try so hard to put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is it Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views


Details | I do not know? | |

Father

you are my father
my knight in shining armour
my protecter, my guard
my helper when its to hard

but now your not here
i feel so alone
i cant see or hear you
my heart turns to stone

i finally see you
holding and caring for another girl
my heart is breaking
i want you back in my world


Details | Rhyme | |

Sweet Demise

Father, I mourn not for the child you despise,
Your drunkenness or hurtful lies.
I mourn the father I wish I knew,
 
I envy the child with caring father,
When loving your kid was never a bother.
That tender side was just never you.
 
Father I mourn not for the abuse, 
Using a traumatic childhood, your excuse.
Your absence a blessing in disguise,

 I envy the loving father I never had,
The man I'd be proud to call dad.
Your death was a sweet demise.


Details | Rhyme | |

Yes, There Really Are Monsters

The content of this poem is semi-graphic, so please be aware of that before you 
read.......


Yes, There Really Are Monsters

Growing up as a child, I never wanted to sleep alone.
Fearful of the isolated darkness and mostly the unknown.
“Mommy is there monsters?” a question I would commonly ask.
“Only on Halloween my dear, the ones we see in masks”

Still not satisfied with her answer, I questioned her more.
Asking her the same old thing as I did the night before.
Frustrated and exhausted, she took me by my little hand.
Looking under my bed, in my closet; even the night-stand.

“So see my daughter the monsters are only in your head.”
“It’s time to get some sleep Stacy Lynn, now do as I have said.”
Respecting mommy's wishes; my little body trembling with fear.
Wishing the hour was morning, praying for “him” not to appear.

But as darkness faded, an uncomfortable silence fell about.
I could hear the monster stirring, preparing to come out.
Hoping the noises I heard, were my brothers fooling around.
Pulling covers tightly over my head; praying not to be found.

Footsteps getting closer, the monster is at the foot of my bed.
I hear his heavy breathing; this is not at all what mommy said.
Quietly lifting covers back, he lays down in the bed beside me. 
Touching, groping and mauling; covering my eyes so I can't see.

He took away my childhood and my trust and self-esteem.
A pleading child without a voice, invisible as it would seem.
"So yes my daughter there are monsters, everywhere we look."
Stating as I remembered my childhood and everything he took.


Details | Ballad | |

ASHLEY HAD A SMALL GOAT

Ashley Had a Small Goat
Oh, Ashley had a Small goat,
Small goat, Small goat,
Ashley had a Small goat,
And he had a coat of white

He followed her to school one day,
School one day, school one day,
He followed her to school one day,
And drank a some water.

 Oh, once he ate a spinach can, 
Spinach can, spinach can, 
once he ate a spinach can, 
Also a line of clothes.

The clothes can do no harm inside, 
Harm inside, harm inside, 
the clothes can do no harm inside, 
But oh! The spinach can!

 The can was filled with achemical,
chemical , chemical chemical,
The can was filled with a chemical,
Which the goat  thought was food

He rubbed against poor Ashley's chin,
Ashley's chin, Ashley's chin,
He rubbed against poor Ashley's chin,
His deep distress to ease.

 
There was a flash of girl and goat,
Girl and goat, girl and goat
There was a flash of girl and goat
And they were seen no more..

(Slowly)
Ashley's soul to Heaven went,
Heaven went, Heaven went,
Ashley's soul to Heaven went,
And Mr. Goat went there too.


Details | Free verse | |

Baby Girl Of Mine

I wrote this to help someone special to me:

I lost my daughter today.
Sadness threatens to overwhelm me.
Grief consumes my every thought.
 
Pain fills my entire body.
The words send a shock to my heart.
My legs fail me as I fall to the floor
Knowing it was to come,
Realizing it is in God’s will,
Nothing makes it easier to deal with.
 
My heart crumbles under the weight
I know all the pieces will never be found.
A wound created that will never heal.
A constant reminder of what is gone.
 
Desire to become a forever family.
Hope of taking away too much pain.
Dreams of her eyes filling with child like joy.
Plans of everyday growing up and learning
All cause to mourn, all things I won't get to again see.
 
I long for the comfort others might have,
Joy her in the arms of someone who truely loves her,
Peace in knowing she is being properly cared for.
The knowledge that we will be together again.
 
I lost my daughter today.
There are no kisses to brighten my soul.
No grave to visit and seek refuge at.
The rest of the world will never notice,
For the daughter I lost was never really mine.
 
She is alive somewhere else 
Not by my choice but by theirs
For it is not I that gets to kiss her good night
I lost my daughter today at yet it is like the world does not care
Really she was more mine than theirs... 
 
I lost my daughter today...
I lost my daughter today...
Don't worry baby girl we will be together ....
someday..!


Details | Rhyme | |

I Had Lost Him in the War

The sun was creeping through the windowpane
I lifted my head to see sparkling dewdrops from the rain
And in the fields, I saw someone slowly walking
He almost looked familiar, yet his face was shocking
As he came ever nearer, 
The realities of the war at hand were never clearer

My son’s right eye was simply no more
And his left eye was shyly cast down to the floor
He embraced me, sobbing, but relieved
To be so courteously and kindly received

The day my son returned was the day my husband died
It was the day when all my family sat there and cried
Sheets of tears from both eye sockets
Were seen on the soldier’s cheeks as he put his hands in his pockets

I told him gently that Dad was proud of him
His expression was grim…

The clouds ever looming over our home
He talks so little; he’ll contemplate and roam
The farm is tended to and the garden does flourish
The fruits and vegetables of our harvest will nourish
But as we are easily healthy and fed,
My son is stricken in panic and dread

He wakes up in the middle of the night
Clutching onto Dad’s photograph for dear life
The horrors he has witnessed I shall never know
And the gardens of his remaining youth shall never grow

Limping in the evening, he cleans his plate without complaint
I miss the days he used to pick on me—calling my main dishes plain
I miss his personality, his wit, his SOUL
I must learn now to rake his remnants across the coal

In the brink of sadness and stillness…

The bomb hits me to the innermost core
I HAD LOST HIM IN THE WAR


Details | Rhyme | |

Always Shine

Tame thy shattered heart, with thou tragic tears;
of lost love tyrannies, of many truth less years.
I give you back my heart, fort it’s near a bust;
a ruptured, leaking vessel, pumps hatred and lust.

As the stars shine brightly, they softly speak your name;
the tongue slips gently, and casts it’s shameless blame.
Near a deadly defeat, of a broken spiritual bliss –
Casts one vibrant, beautiful star, which we’ll forever miss.

I’ll relinquish this guilt of who must now be found;
this diminishing self-serving star, whose now never around.
As the night turns into darkness, I’ll search for that star –
just to capture a glimpse, of this brilliant stellar very far.

And when I’m sad and lonely and are in need of my friend;
I’ll always remember that fading star and this broken heart I tend.
I’ll close my teary, weary eyes, and cast a wish far above –
Shine, shine little star – so brightly filled with love.


Details | Elegy | |

FINAL NESTING BOX

You lay in the wooden cot,
a broken sparrow,
Crushed. Bony. Frail.
Hair once plumed gold,
greyed to clumped feathers
like ragged  trampled wings,
strawed out on the dank pillow.
Face once blushed pink plump,
Jolly kind of soft with life,
Sucked to bone. Nose to Beak.
Echoes of the mask it will soon become.

I stroked this woman 
now bent back to foetus pose.
Once sworled to shell, 
wrapped inside myself,
Safe.
Now boned to carcass stick.

I wanted to hold one more time,
my child, 
frightened the last air would puff to nought from its hollowed breast.
But my sparrow turned and smiled,
a grimace to crack open any gates of envisaged hell.
Macabre teeth, once glowing love and laughter to the skies,
Now pecked to ochre stalks.

The pitiful bird pained to move.
Mucous mouth clacked open wide
To receive some lasting morsel of life.
Only its beady blue gaze 
flashed a soul of its former self, 
eyes to haunt the sea.
I swallowed back my tide of tears,  
waves of memory flooding sands of life we’d shared,
from fledgling dawn cry to this,
the final nesting box.

I wanted to stuff this cot with down 
of a million eider.
To cosset and hold soft this scrawn, gnawed through. 
Pluck teal, goose, swan.
‘Who would have thought it would come to this?’ it croaked a laugh.
I matched smile with smile.
I held the tiny claw.
Desperate not to cling too much to pain, 
too much to past.

I wanted to wrap up this dying bird 
Limp, in my hanky.
White folded white, fold on fold.
Run through the streets
shouting at the world, at some unseen power.
NO. 
She’s mine. She’s safe. Take me. 
What cruelty did I do?  
What evil must be stuffed in this maternal breast
To hold this daughter dust in my arms?


Details | I do not know? | |

Safe and Sound

Im tired, Im done
Dont treat me like Im one.
Im sick, Im through
Dont tell me what to do.

You think you know
but really you dont.
What's it like to be all alone?
Thats right you wouldn't know.

I've shed the tears and felt the pain,
because you made him go away.
I loved him more than you comprehend,
Why can't you just understand?

I'll go away and wont come back,
in that place I wont be sad. 
I'll be in his arms where I'm ok,
I'll love him true, Forever & Always.


Details | Senryu | |

That September Day in 2001

Two thousand seven Hundred and fifty victims Murdered, Rest in Peace My entry into Nathan's 9-11 contest http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/america.php


Details | Free verse | |

Living Angel

Her eyes spoke of love beyond any comparison.
Simple glances she could speak volumes of words.
No language spoken by voice though much power,
Intently she was observant to her surroundings.
Graciously she painted concern with attitude.
Sometimes so sternly advocating her desires,
Strong and dainty from her facial expressions,
Strong and firm her deliverance was given.
Protector of family for eighteen years she gave.
Her mind was efficient and carried life high.
Not a companion a family member so dear,
She witnessed illness, took action quickly.
Strong mind but weakened body, driving forward,
Asking in her gaze, she told of needs and desires.
Her name, Heidi, a game she played when young.
Carrying it forward to daily actions she had won.
Hiding her eyes from anyone, no one could see.
Upon her face as she gazed back, unhidden now,
Was a glory and loving smile, with sparkling eyes.
She shall be remembered with such affection true.
Lost we are now without her presence each moment,
Quietness passes our days and nights without her walk.
No “Tick Tick Tack“as her paws use to tap the floor.
Missing her yawn upon her first wakeup each day,
Her presence no more still reminded by our hearts.
Her spotted coat remembered by all our surroundings.
Dalmatian by breed, Living Angel, now Angel in Heaven,
Upon a future time, we’ll be reunited, with a living Angel.



Written in Memory, for much more than a dog,
She was a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, protector, friend, buddy, pal, neighborhood 
watcher, along with so much more.


Details | I do not know? | |

When a house isnt a home

out of the car, and up the walk,
i go to the door and unlock the 
lock

loud voices through the  door
empties my heart  a little more

they yell about money, they 
yell about love
they yell about who goes down 
below or up above

she calls him crazy, he says 
"just maby"
he tells her he wants to go
she starts to cry and say she 
didnt know

then she starts to beg for 
forgivness
she wants to start over
but nobody really wants to 
relive this


i pull out the key and realize
now,
how things have to be 

this is when my house isnt a 
home to me                  





Details | Rhyme | |

Father

Why does he even bother calling,
When he doesn’t care?
Why doesn’t he give child support?
It just isn’t fair.

He keeps giving the same excuses,
Because he’s just too lazy.
The truth is, he doesn’t want a job,
His neglect just drives me crazy.

He’s told me he loves me,
But he’s never shown it.
His actions never proved those words,
I guess I should’ve known it.

When I was a child,
I thought he loved me dearly.
But now that I am all grown up,
I see things very clearly.

He doesn’t deserve the title “father,”
“Mario,” will do just fine.
Because he was never a true dad to me,
But that’s okay…I’ve got “Carmine.”


Details | I do not know? | |

"Poverty Verses Welfare"

Time is running out,only to find out,you have to kiss ass to survive in America. Wish I had a 
better life, instead I'm stuck kissing Welfare ass in order to survive, Free is what the rich 
believe, When the ones who struggle trying to find a way to eat, The rich whites has no 
worries, They can survive, pay bills, live the nice life, Keep their families fed, When I look 
through the eyes of the homeless men, women and children, I ask how can anyone turn 
them away, What if it was you and your babies out there? You don't begin to understand, 
because you and your babies aren't here! The poor can't find no job, because of skin color 
or for what their beliefs are, When you in your up to date car,you will never see past your 
riches for just a moment to see what your doing to my loved ones and me. Material things 
don't make you, It's what you do for those less fortunate than you. Come and live our life 
for a week, I bet you would get so weak you wouldn't even begin to know how to speak I 
live on not that much, just enough to to pay some of the rent, I have a baby and don't know 
where I'm going to be the next day, America is a big slave country, they want to ship all jobs 
over seas so they can make they Chinese slaves by paying them less, for us the ones who 
needs a job badly do without, so they have a good reason for us to rob, murder, sell dope, 
so they can through us in jail and make us work for the government for FREE, Well isn't it 
just one big mess? You live everyday trying to make a way, One thing though the rich is not 
immune to that kind of living, we the poor are . We know how to hustle and pan handle hard, 
Where the rich don't know anything by far! Stay strong, and don't get weak ever, that's what 
they want. Stay positive alright.


Details | Fibonacci | |

Sick Child

A 
Child
Sick
With cancer
Upset from illness
Feeling ugly from the hair loss
Depressed feels alienated wants to die because of all
Mother feels all the pain isolation of her daughter, she goes into bathroom shaves head


Details | Lyric | |

Slow To Heal

Visible defect Variation Soothing effect As my fingertips Run over this formation Through hills and dips Passing pain Now a conversation piece These wash away with the rain These One day will Cease Internal rips And tears Shadowed Stitched with care Only to be shredded Again Slow to heal If only it was let alone And you wouldn't hammer In the sin Full of chagrin Confidence blown I'd rather Show you my scars My skin shattered Then you discover my wounds Ruined Can't keep the seal So slow to heal


Details | Ode | |

Cordillia 2

You were small and still inside,
Now you never will come out.
Even though i never got to know you,
I still love you with all my heart.

There are many things i wanted to teach you,
so many things i wanted you to see.
But i know you are in a place that will always be beautiful,
You will always stay young.

You will have your sister to guide you there,
My family is always there to protect you no matter what.
I hope you are happy cordillia where ever you are,
I am happy knowing you will never experience heartache.

You will never experience the lies people will tell,
You are protected.
you are loved.
You will always be part of me and your dad.

Although i wish i could hold you in my arms,
But until we do see eye to eye.
you are in my heart.


Details | Blank verse | |

OUR HOUSE MAID'S DAUGHTER

I looked one more time at the scar
on her pretty forehead.
Our house-maid’s sweet little daughter.
She is just four years old.

Endured many scares and black scars
along with mother, so bold
facing tantrums of sot-father.
She is just four years old.

Today came she with news to share.
With puerile fervor told
“Becomes bride my father’s sister!”
She is just four years old.

“He is as strong as a wild boar
good groom; not a drunkard.”
Shocked; saw those deeper inner scars.
She is just four years old.



Details | Epic | |

A Sisters Love By PjWilliams jim and Jack Oslager

(POEM ENTRY)
                                 A SISTER'S LOVE

THERES A HELL I FEEL INSIDE, AS A LOST CHILD CRIED, I WAS HELPLESS TO SAVE HER LIFE
SHE WASNT READY TO BE TAKEN AWAY FROM ME LORD,SHE WASNT READY TO DIE
TEAR A HOLE IN THE SHY TONIGHT, LET THE ASHES OF RAIN,PUT OUT THE FIRES OF RAGE INSIDE
THIS I WILL FOREVER KNOW IS TRUE SISTER , I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU

FEELS LIKE FOREVER WHEN YOU JUST KEEP ON FALLIN, FEELS LIKE THERES NOTHING LEFT TO HOLD ON TO
FEELS LIKE FOREVER WHEN YOU JUST KEEP ON FALLIN
A SISTERS LOVE, NEVER GOES AWAY,FLY THROUGH THE SKIES OF YOUR DESTINY
A SISTERS LOVE, NEVER GOES AWAY,RESTING IN THE ARMS OF ETERNAL GRACE
I WISH I COULD WALK DOWN THE STREETS OF YESTERDAY, NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD,JUST HAPPY YO BE PART OF A FAMILY
BLACK CLOUDS ABOVE, AN ONCOMING STORM ARRIVES, IM FIGHTING TO SURVIVE, I MUST CARRY ON HER NAME NOW, AND FIND AN END TO THE HARD TIMES
FEELS LIKE FOREVER WHEN YOU JUST KEEP ON FALLIN, FEELS LIKE THERES NOTHING TO HOLD ON TO
FEELS LIKE FOREVER WHEN YOU JUST KEEP FALLIN
A SISTERS LOVE, NEVER GOES AWAY,FLY THROUGH THE SKIES OF YOUR DESTINY
A SISTERS LOVE,  NEVER GOES AWAY. RESTING IN THE ARMS OF ETERNAL GRACE
AS I LOOK UP AT THE SKY, WATCHING THE CLOUDS PASSING ME BY
I SEE AN ANGEL FLY,THERES A FEATHER FALLIN IN MY EYE,
THE SEEDS THAT WERE ONCES SOWN,WILL FOREVER GROW, YOUR SPIRIT LIVES ON, INSIDE YOUR CHLIDRENS MINDS, YOU ARE THE BEATING HEART OF THEIR HAPPINESS, CREATOR OF ALL OF THIER DREAMS IN LIFE
FEELS LIKE FOREVER WHEN YOU JUST KEEP ON FALLIN, FEELS LIKE THERES NOTHING LEFT TO HOLD ON TO
FEELS LIKE FOREVER WHEN YOU JUST KEEP FALLIN
A SISTERS LOVE, NEVER GOES AWAY, FLY THROUGH THE SKIES OF YOUR DESTINY
A SISTERS LOVE, NEVER GOES AWAY, RESTING IN THE ARMS OF ETERNAL GRACE
THERS A HEEL I FEEL INSIDE,AS A LOST CHILD CRIED, I WAS HELPLESS TO SAVE HER LIFE,SHE WASNT READY TO BE TAKEN AWAY FROM ME LORD,SHE WASNT READY TO DIE, TEAR A HOLE IN THE SKY TONIIGHT,LET THE ASHES OF RAIN, PUT OUT THE FIRE OF RAGE INSIDE
THIS I WILL FORVEVR KNOW IS TRUE SISTER, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

RESPECTFULLY SUBMIITED & THANK YOU FOR TAKEN TIME TO READ AND CONTINUE A MEMORY

Written & Dedicated to Joy M Williams
Etched in Paper & Everlasting Marked PJW
Collaboration by Paul J Williams, jim Oslager, Jack Oslager
All Words Lyrics & Music  
320 S  3rd Street
Oxford  Pa 19363
215 901 3073 cell



Details | Couplet | |

SATAN'S TORMENT

Torment manifests in my soul
Loved ones seem compelled to console

I live my past again and again
People’s sympathies bring back pain

Suppressed feelings vanquish
Longing grief shall languish

Infuriating my flesh with pain
Someone remind him of his shame

How I wonder about her fears
Far beyond my withered tears

Believe me when I tell you this
My child’s father stole her bliss

Such torment frustrates my world
Satan exploited my little girl

How can I subjugate this hell 
When Satan lives within her shell ?




Details | Free verse | |

Enough

When you make me cry
does it make you feel good?
Do you live for my tears
my pain and my terror?
Why does my misery give you pleasure? 
Who sits there laughing at their daughter's agony?
Every time I think you're at your worst
you find a way to hurt me more.
So I try and I try to be better.
I must have done something wrong.
I finally woke up and saw the truth.
I'll never be good enough
never try hard enough
to make you proud enough.


Details | I do not know? | |

Another Place

A different address, a different place
While we’re still running, they’ve finished the race

They’re resting in peace with God above
But we’re left crying for our undying love

At the moment of conception, you were ours to hold
But nobody knew what the future would hold

Every year comes around, the month of May
We’re left empty- handed on Mother’s Day

No body to love that we can see of feel,
But the fact still remains, the baby was real

Are we less of a woman?  Are we less of a mother?
If out children were here, they would want no other

They’re no less our babies, cause we don’t see their face
They’re just at a different address, in a different place


Details | Epic | |

6/30/06

As I sit on the kitchen counter, I 
eat my cereal. Savoring every crunch
I watch the phone and wait for it to ring
waiting for someone to call, even a perfect
stranger. Even a perfect stranger. Trust someone
to talk to. Someone to share what's going wrong. My
heart beats with pain. The blood runs cold but hot with 
anger. I wish to scream at the top of my lungs and release 
the agony, But must stay quite as a mouse. I keep to myself.
My hopes that are false and my dreams that will never come true.
I'm lost in my own mind and train of thoughts filled with worries that
can never be told and cries that can never be heard. Smiles are shown
but never true. Every promise is made is another broken wish. Every word
you say is nothing but stalling pain. Sadness is the most feeling felt. It wears
like a sweater on a hot summer day. You just want to rip it off and throw it on 
the ground. I must question everything more now than ever. I sit in a white chair
in a white room. I love this room. It reminds me of purity, a free soul. Anything you
dream can come true. If you dream hard enough and wish upon the right star. I walk
around the rest of this seven room house and I am reminded back to reality of cries and
lies, the tears and the fears. Back into a world of having to win. When smiles are rare to see
and I love yous are no longer from the heart. Gazing out the window, I have come to known 
that this world is made up of men who want sex and money, women that dance in videos to 
make a dime. Young boys hustling and ladies walking the corners. Church crowds have gotten 
smaller and cults have grown. I look back in the mirror reflect. Recently I've made bad 
decisions that just aren't me. I remise about the past and realize that it's time to let 
go. That it's my path and I'm on my own. A struggle it will be, but a blade where
I can not depend. Sorry to my sharp little friend but I hope we never have to
meet again


Details | I do not know? | |

Sleep Little One

One, two, three sleep little one.
Sleep now for tomorrow  will come soon.
 tomorrow will come, and I will go.
So sleep little one for in the morning 
when you awake I will be gone.
Not a trace of me shall remain.
So sleep little one and save a dream of me.


Details | Free verse | |

They Fight,,, 10-13-08

they fight all the time.
they fight and it never stops.
they fight and it never gets better.
they fight and it always gets worse.
they fight til they're blue in the face.
they fight til i can't stand it anymore.
they fight and i cry cuz there's nothing i can do.
the fighting and the crying never stop.
there's nothing i can do but pray.
they're always fighting.
it won't stop.
they hide it so well...
the pain they're in...
it's like they've never fought before...


Details | I do not know? | |

Just The Way It Is

I tried to wake you up today
Like I always do
All I did was try to care for you
Like little girls should.

Mummy, mummy
Please don't die
I need you to be here
By my side
Brothers always crying
Because he doesn't understand
That mummy only leaves us
Because living makes her sad

The whole street 
Thinks your crazy
As you try to hide
The scars that made you
Your whole damn life

Why cant you just forget
Why cant you leave
The past alone

The doctors didn't care
The police were never there
As the screams of a little girl
Spilled out
Into an air of madness

Watch me bleed
I learned this from you

You were my devil
Stealing my innocence
Stuttering words I'll never forget
"Your Nothing"

Your eyes cut deep
As the knifes are aimed at me
Your love was a weapon
Puncturing my heart
You broke me
I'm a wreck.


Details | I do not know? | |

Before I Go

Does it make you happy?
Does drowning in the sea of sadness
Take your breath away
Just for a moment 
If you could see
The spinning stop
And notice the world around you

But you never will.

Do you believe your own lies?
Because it's all you've got
Is life worth living?
When you forgot 
Yesterday.

Will you remember?
What you did to me
In twisted dreams
Or will the alcohol sedate you?
From all you see


Details | I do not know? | |

Fall

When I was little and would fall and hit my knee
I would cry and you took care of me
When I got older and fell in love that would end
I would cry and you would be my friend

Now I am the mother kissing knees
And telling my sons bout the birds and bees
But I am not sure if I am doing it right 
So I call you late at night

And I cry God I don't know what to do
And you tell me it is okay I trust you
I am not sure if I can handle the next fall
When I loss my brick wall

So daddy please stay here 
I would cry and none would care
I need you still so much each day
So daddy please tell God to wait for a few more days


Details | I do not know? | |

a little daughter i once had

shes felt alone
shes felt unwanted
shes felt everything there is to feel
the only thing that got her through it
was a little girl, she was only two feet
she had brown goldish hair
and deep blue greyish eyes
she helped her mom wash dishes 
after her daddy beat her up
they mom had many bruises
her daughter called her smurth
her daddy came from work one day
so like always she went to her room
and a few minutes later she heard a big boom
she opened the door
couldnt reach the handle
and she saw her mommy on the floor
curled up in a little ball
and red paint spilling from her body
and after that her mommy wasnt blue anymore
the little girl ran up to her mommys body
and when she looked up to say "what have you done?"
she saw something flying at her head
and she grabbed her mommas hand
and from that day on both of them were gone together
and they went to a better place called heaven


Details | I do not know? | |

Every night

Every night
A scared little girl cries herself to sleep
With nothing of her own to keep

Every night
She prayed to God
Hoping he wont come home tonight

Every night
Is another bruise
As she bites her lip, trying not to cry
Because she knows if he see’s one tear
She would be even closer to dieing

Every night 
As tears run down her face
She knows this abuse will go on and on
And never stop

Every nigh
When she tried to tell someone
They never believed her
Because he doesn’t look like “that type of guy”

Every night
She would pray to God
Hoping he wont come home tonight


Details | Ballad | |

"MOM"

Roses are all different colors now.
And the violets don't even really know-
that the sugar is not feeling so sweet, anymore.
Cuz' love left nothing behind, just me-
I didn't go...

The colors all think that their hues are all used up-
And all these souls don't know where to go...
Somehow, the sky remains bluish gray up above, 
but lights no path for the lost to roam.
There is no place for them to call home.

No one is waiting. No one cares.
No one is crying because you feel dead.
No one is calling. No one is coming.
No one is crying because you're not there.

Theres nothing to live for,
but your breath comes just the same...
Theres nothing to die for, either-
We live in their f__'ed-up GAME...

Theres no one to love you just because they want to-
No one to be proud for all the real good you do...
No one to kiss your Boo-Boo's all better-
No One. Not Anymore. Not Ever...

And....
No One, (remember?), had to show her the door;
She opened it herself, turned and looked at you for the last time-
knowing that she'd no longer, EVER, be able to look you in the eye...
She couldn't grace you with Good-Bye.
You deserved some acknowledgment, or some reason why...
A reason for all these wasting tears-
The ones I still can't hide...

No explanation for her decision.
She left before you could even ask why(?)
You try to understand why she betrayed your trust.
The only trust, in the one & only mother you ever had...

You lost all FAITH in me, Mom-
And I always held your hand...

Right or Wrong- YOU, I stood beside.
I guess in all these years, I shouldn't of held on so F-N tight...
All the while I thought you were loving me,
You were just taking me for a ride...

I WISH someone would've told me, 
how my part played out, long ago...
Because I could've walked here FASTER-
And I could've done it all ALONE.....


K.C. feb25,2006


Details | Blank verse | |

A Walk With An Enemy

Tears trickle down her cheeks,
 She turns her head so the man they call her Dad
Cant see her cry.
 Was it always like this?
Did it slowly develop?
 Why cant it be different?
Again, nothing was accomplished;
 Nothing had changed.
She drives home
 Tears blurring her view,
Wishing with all her heart
 That things were better.


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye, My Sweet Angel

Goodbye, My Sweet Angel

Tears trickle down her freckled cheeks
Eyes red and blurred
She gazed at me 
Trapped inside her father's speeding truck
I following , running screaming her name
She, screaming mine
Legs burning, stinging, tiring
Tears running down my face
Her dainty red nose, pressed against the glass
Weaker with every stride
Petite hands, pressed to the window
My pace slows, can not go any longer
Yelling her sweet name
Sobbing, to my knees
The truck, disappearing, gone
I had lost her
Goodbye, my sweet angel


Details | I do not know? | |

An Innocent Child

A young homeless child
Looking for a home but finds none.
On my first day at school the mother's not around
To comfort me when I'm down-right scared
An innocent child of seventeen
I find myself locked up in a placement
An innocent child now afraid of time
Will I forget my goals and dreams?
I go to Maryhurst
And meet people who care
I learn about peer pressure and much more
Now comes the time
To break through.....
The Fear


Details | Quintain (English) | |

SOFT ORANGE BLOSSOMS

These soft orange blossoms
are more colorful and fragrant
than the velvety, wild roses...
hastily clinging to sturdy sunflowers' stems,
fretting a danger too real and so imminent.


His manly hands attacked her in an orchard of beautiful roses, 
and she left blood stains on those delicate, scattered petals...
who did hear the young virgin's painful cry,
subdued by the quails' loud twitter in the shady elms' branches? 
Some did, but continued to walk and let her die!


Her mother wailed under the weeping, embracing elms... 
they saw her child struggle and despair, but they couldn't help;
why did that brutal man raped her and beat her to death?
And what kind of punishment he deserves for that cruel act?
Wouldn't a just judge be furious and imprison him for life?


A light wind detached the soft orange blossoms from the branches,
and let them gently fall on her violated body to cover with dignity 
the purest and youngest blood spilled in the meadow of clovers;
God Himself cried from His throne, and sent His angel of mercy
to the sorrowful and lamenting earth, which had seen the eyes of innocence.  


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | I do not know? | |

Blessing from Heaven on a Bittersweet day

The dress is zipped, the veil is in
One last touch up and dry my tears
Another bobby pin
I need you here to calm my fears

But here I stand feeling all alone
Looking up at heaven
Wishing I could bring you home
Waiting for the clock to strike seven

Here comes grandpa to take you place
He happily stands by my side
But I know he sees the hurt on my face
He tells me I’m such a beautiful bride

What a bitter sweet day
Now I’m ready to go
I take a moment and pray
Just to say “Hello”

Now down the aisle I walk
I see Joel’s face
Walking into wedlock
I feel such a warming embrace

Now I know though I didn’t that day
You weren’t missing a thing
That I’m confident enough to say
I believe this was a heaven sent blessing

For when I was looking later
In one certain photo
There is was, it couldn’t be clearer
A cross with such a beautiful glow

Then I knew I wasn’t alone
My prayer had been answered
And you came back home


Details | Free verse | |

jump rope

there’s a curve 
at the end of every sidewalk 
did you know every block’s 
measured by the lazy way a rope
skips and ponytails itself down its own street?
my, how my rope bends
alongside that straight line
six inches above what you call a ‘curb’ under my knees
falling and rising under my feet


Details | Quatrain | |

A Mothers Love?

How can a mother not hurt
when her child cries out in pain?
How can she turn and look away
when there's so much to be gained?

If only her heart would open
and let God show the way,
to happiness and love everlasting.
For this, I'll always pray.

Is it possible to just feel nothing
towards the child you gave away?
Please say there is at least a hope
that you will love me again some day.

When I look at my child I feel love.
I could never turn my back.
But you never felt that way towards me.
Is it something that I lack?


Details | Rhyme | |

For When You Are Six

A baby girl born in April, pink, perfect and brand new

A proud young father, smile on my face, tear in my eye, what else could I do

We connected immediately, your eyes big and bright like mine

The feeling that flowed through me, I had never felt so fine

I watched you grow up, one, then two, my princess, my sweet little girl

I held you and kept you safe, like an oyster does a pearl

One day something inside of me broke and I went away making everyone sad

I know that I hurt you baby, you have every right to be mad

For several years now, I haven’t been a very good dad, not seeing you very many 
times

But this time Sarah, I hope to makeup for my crimes

I will to be there for you, more than I ever had before; I’m not trying to be funny

I only hope one day you can forgive me for what I have done sweet Sarah honey


Details | ABC | |

why cnt you say ur proud of me

i give up on trying to please you 
i do whatevr you tell me to do
all i want is for you to say is 4 words 
ill never be good enuff 2 you 
i try my hardest to please you and all i want is you to tell me 4 words 
i guess im not good enuff for you 
dad all i want is for you to say your proud of me  is that to much to ask
you tell your girlfriends daughter that your roud of her for her girl scouts 
but my whole 17 years of liveing you have never told me your proud of me
i do all i can to please you i try to be the best daughter i can be but i guess ill never be good enuff for you 
ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO SAY YOUR PROUD OF ME!!!


Details | Free verse | |

To My Girls

Where have you been, little ones?  Stolen away so long ago.
An aching heart and lonely life for an evil man today,
searching the horizon and begging God for signs of your return.
Will they ever come?  Should I go to them?  What will our future be?
What did you do today?  Did you think of me as I thought of you?
When I look at the sad moon before I sleep and wonder.
Do you see the same sights I see? 
Are you OK?
The questions and sadness flows and never ends. Why?
For many years I've blamed God.
Are you angry at Him? 
I hope not.  He's not the one who should be blamed, but I.
Sundays are the worst ones for me to bear.  Even today, years after you were taken 
from me, I cry.
I'm crying now.  Sunday family fun day no more.  Just me.
I miss my girls and care about you.  It's OK if you don't care about me.
I ask for nothing but your smiles and a hug, that would last an eternity.
You haven't seen or heard from me, I feared the trouble it would cause.
But, in your day, if you think of me, know that I think of you and cry to be near.
Just a hug and a tear, together.  With a laugh and forgiveness to spare, healing the 
past for us, today.
How are you doing?  Where have you been?  What tears have you cried without me to 
make them go away?
If you need me.  If you need me to come.  If you need me to help.  If you need me to 
pray.  If you need me to just go away.  It's ok.  I am here.
I Love You.

Daddy


Details | Narrative | |

Domestics - blue berry pancake

Simmering,hot, pancakes, flushed.
Battered, beating, bruised,
Syrup, sweet, melted, dripping, 

Brown now, peeling, ripping 
Dark berries, smashed oozing bluish - black red,
Hands and words tossed instead,

Pancake Burnt! Pancake dead!


Details | I do not know? | |

The Grime

She stands by the door waiting for 
her to come, the days finally here 
going home with her mum. 

She's 4 now, almost a year to the 
day, since the childrens aid workers 
came to take her away. 

When she was taken her mom was 
addicted to crack, pulled in by the 
streets and not looking back. 

Mom hustles the streets, living blast 
to blast, hoping this  will help her 
forget her past. 

But now her heart is filled with 
sorrow, "don't worry honey ill clean 
up tomorrow." 

Tomorrows come and go but she 
stays on the street, the drug that's 
too hard  to beat. 

Then it happens a sign from the 
gods, something makes her defy all 
the odds. 

Her boyfriend arrested sent off to 
jail, won't be a while til he can get 
bail. 

Now the light goes off in her head, 
she realizes that the street will soon 
make her dead. 

She leaves downtown and rebuilds 
her life, she can't believe why she 
caused all this strife. 

After a few weeks she gets a visit 
supervised, and she changes herself 
seeing her kids eyes. 

She goes back to school and gets 
her own place, help from family and 
friends she rehabilitates. 

Her boyfriend from prison promises 
her the world, says when he gets out 
it will be them and her girl. 

7 months go by her man gets out of 
jail, now this is not the end of the 
tale. 

Now the little girl stares at the door, 
which I'm sure she's done many 
times before. 

Todays the day, ribbons in her hair, 
pretty pink dress her mom will soon 
be there. 

She hears the door handle and yells 
"Mommy",   door opens its not what 
she expected to see.

The lady walks in sad look on her 
face. The young girl knows she won't 
be leaving this place. 

"Sorry honey, mommy can't make it 
today",
"Why?  Where is she?  What did she 
say?"

Her mom sits in the crackhouse, 
drugs in her hand, staring across the 
table at her freshly released  man. 

"Does anyone have a pipe I can 
borrow?"
"Don't worry honey ill clean up 
tomorrow!"
 



Details | Rhyme | |

Fifteen Years Young

With a baby in my arms,
keeping it from harm,
I hold back tears of shame,
for I have only fifteen years to my name.


Details | Free verse | |

"Identity"

Gentle, mild, and meek.
Human-strong and weak.

A mask to hide away the pain.
Hard to live with shame.

Good person, good friend.
A ? mark; never seen through to the end.

Chivalry is dead and so is the “good
Samaritan” act.
In this world today, it’s a true, proven fact.

Humble; a little pride, determination is my drive.
If I want things to get better for me,
hope burns on the inside.

Reserved and I move at my own pace.
Steady and slow, less consequences to face.

This is my life; pathetic as it is.
It’s the only one I have; not urs, theirs, hers or his.

I know who I am.
I have too much respect for myself and body; forever condemned.

So if u ask me, 
“Who are u and what I am?

I’ll smile and say, 
			“For I am Poetry!”

Profound, misunderstood, and a lifelong mystery.


Details | I do not know? | |

An Innocent Child

A young homeless child
Looking for a home but finds none.
On my first day at school the mother's not around
To comfort me when I'm down-right scared
An innocent child of seventeen
I find myself locked up in a placement
An innocent child now afraid of time
Will I forget my goals and dreams?
I go to Maryhurst
And meet people who care
I learn about peer pressure and much more
Now comes the time
To break through.....
The Fear


Details | I do not know? | |

Us - Minus One

Today the strangers didn't come
In fact, no one did
The house was empty
And far too quiet
With just the ghosts of our past
Floating silently on the wind
as our only companions

I miss you dad.


Details | Rhyme | |

LIFE IS MEANT TO LIVE

LIVING IS LAUGHING, SHARING THE FUNNIEST MOMENTS THAT CAPTURED OUR GREATEST 
SMILES.
ENJOYING THE TIME WHEN SOUNDS OF HAPPINESS WERE ALL THAT CLEARED THE AIR.
THE GIGGLES WE'VE HEARD, THE SMILES WE SEE,
THE TOUCH I FEEL WHEN YOU ARE SO NEAR.
LIFE IS THE MEANING WE LOVE SO DEAR.
THE AMBITION & MOTIVATION USED TO KEEP OUR HEADS CLEAR.
OUR REASONS TO STRIVE & TO KEEP LOVE ALIVE.
OUR DECISIONS TO MAKE,
TO FEEL OUR HEARTS BREAK,
TO TAKE THAT GREAT CHANCE BEFORE ITS TO LATE!
TO FINDING TRUE LOVE & NEVER ASTRAY,
TO BEING SO ANGRY & STILL WANNA STAY,
TO HAVING THE PATIENCE OF AN ARMY OF MEN,
BUT STILL BEING ABLE TO CRACK & BEND.
LIFE IS A LESSON FOR EACH ONE TO LEARN,
AND BLESSINGS THERE FOR EACH ONE TO EARN.


Details | Rhyme | |

For her there's no escape

At a time of celebration, 
Drinking lager in the bar.
Go home, get changed for the night ahead, 
You decide to take the car.

You're not quite compos-mentis, 
Your judgements not too sound.
You're driving passed the local park, 
There's people all around.

You can't see where you're going,
Coz' you're searching for a tape.
Then "Bang!", A child flies through the air,
For her there's no escape.

You didn't see her coming,
Though she lies there on the floor.
You haven't gone to try and help,
You won't unlock the door!!

You were sentenced to six months in prison,
Got fined and banned for two years.
The only thing that I have left now,
Are my memories and millions of tears.

If only I'd kept her in that day,
She would be at my side, still alive.
It was YOU who murdered my daughter,
As YOU chose to drink and drive...


Details | Rhyme | |

Friendly Monster

My name is Casey, I am just a little girl
One day a grown-up shattered my world
He was our neighbor he seemed so kind
I had no idea the evil in his dark mind
He'd give me candy and buy me neat toys
And show me how to beat up on the boys
My Mommy and Daddy trusted him so
They had no clue who he was though
Then one day as I walked past his place
I disappeared, gone, without a trace
My parents searched, he helped them look
Never knowing the treasure he already took
I cried and begged for him to not hurt me
But he never responded to my desperate plea
He locked me up in this deep dark hole
I prayed to Jesus to protect my soul
I miss my parents, I want them so bad
I miss my bed and my big brother Chad
I hear someone coming, please be Mommy
Please stop him before he really hurts me
I hear a loud click, I see a shiny pole
I see the white smoke fill up this hole
I see a bright light, no longer is it dim
The monster who murdered me was.....him


Details | Rhyme | |

I Can't Do This Anymore It's Dragging Me Down

I just can’t keep “doing this” any longer! What am I doing? I began to wonder… This “sin” just keeps dragging me further down… What do I do? There’s no one around??? This “thing” has got a hold on me… I cry every night… I want to be FREE! I’ve tried and tried… But to no avail… Just when I think I have victory… I fail! I’ve read in scripture of a power that I haven’t seen. I read of a savior who can do ANYTHING! Why don’t I give him a try? I’ve nothing to lose! I’ve been so hurt, worn out and abused..… To you, dear Jesus… I confess my every sin. And can feel your love from deep within! Thank you Jesus! For giving me a joy I never knew… I don’t know where I’d be if not for YOU! You’ve brought to my life a peace I never had. For all you’ve done for me. I am so glad! Won’t YOU give your burdens to this one… I call friend? And experience the joy of being born again? Please come to him now. Why not this hour? And experience his life-changing power! By Jim Pemberton 01/17/10


Details | Rhyme | |

Whiskey Christmas

It was Christmas Eve; I was a prisoner of my own divide.
Lost in mind, clad in drunken sadness, caged up inside.
Alone and forlorn my thoughts laden with whiskey lies,
Memories seem so distant, only a week since goodbyes.
Christmas tree glistening, blurry in my vision of tears,
Flashing lights bright, neighbors Christmas party cheers.
No presents or joy in this household upon this night.
Sorrows, misguided gulps of liquor, cloud my sight.
Heartbroken, gloomy devouring the demon filled drink.
No more, no less, my eyes roamed over as I did think.
Hopelessly lost in a whirlwind of memories of no more,
No more, love by a lover, no daughter to teach the score.
Left me in a house, no longer our home that we shared,
Only I and this half-empty bottle, feeling impaired.
She left me, taking my child a thousand miles away.
While here in this house of torture, me and myself stay.
Every corner a recollection blinks by crystalline light.
Splintered and speckled by the twinkling star so bright.
Atop the now barren tree which had shined with joys.
Years before cluttered with wrappers, boxes and toys 
I slam a big gulp down my throat, since this was my first.
Night of my debut to the evil of whiskey blinding thirst,
Never before had drunkenness been a quest or even a try,
This night she devoured my soul, not wanting ever to cry.
Intoxication was a desire, though not ever beyond joy.
My virgin body of drink has choked me unable to deploy.
Sour mash tears wash down my face, wiping my eyes.
I hear my built up agony; pour out in inhuman cries.

User Name  Cecil Hickman

Sponsor Constance La France ~ A Rambling Poet ~ 
Contest Name Your "Saddest" Christmas Ever 


Details | Rhyme | |

He

He was the one who held my hand, 
And the footprints were his next too mine in the sand,
He was the one who tucked me in at night,
And when I was scared he would turn on the light,
He was the one who drove me too school,
And he stuck up for me when people where cruel, 
He was the one who fought with her,
And they argued and shouted and walked out the door,
He was the one who never came back, 
And all I can say is that is that.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Santa Iraq

Dear Santa.............Iraq       

Candles burning sure and bright, 
Shining through the Christmas tree. 
Santa's coming 'round tonight, 
Bringing presents here for me. 

I sent a letter some time ago, 
I asked for things I'd need. 
For these are things for Mum and me, 
It certainly wasn't greed. 

For I am thirteen years of age, 
I asked, "please bring Dad back". 
I miss him; Mum is so upset, 
Since he died inside Iraq. 

I cry myself to sleep some nights, 
I can hear Mums sobbing heart. 
He's the only present we will need, 
"Don't keep us all apart". 

Dear Santa, no more toys or clothes, 
No gifts from that Christmas sack. 
The only thing that we all want, 
Is to have my Daddy back. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Those Close to Us Can Cause Much Hurt And Pain


Those Close To Us Can Cause Much Hurt And Pain... Isn’t it amazing… The hurt and damage, someone can do? Especially by the same person who said; “I Love You!” Isn’t it amazing… How someone, which we’ve given our heart… Can betray our love, and “tear it all apart?” On that special day, when your vows were exchanged… It’s almost like “overnight,” some people change! Even amongst Christians. This seems too commonplace. As people seek their own desires… Instead of God’ grace. Isn’t it amazing… How anger, jealousy and bitterness begins? Even amongst our loved ones, that we have called “friends?” What’s more amazing… Is how God, in his mercy and care.. Still loves us. And he is always there! No matter what you’ve said… No matter what you’ll do…. God remains the same. And is always there for YOU! He is faithful. His commitment to you is strong and secure! His love is everlasting. And is 100% PURE! I stand amazed, as to how God still loves us. He asks for our heart. He wants to trust us! Won’t you come and experience his love today? He loves you so much more than words could ever say! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

God Brought A Healing To My Troubled Mind


God Brought A Healing To My Troubled Mind… I used to allow many thoughts to enter my mind. There were good and bad ones... Just about every kind. My family thought I was being a “good Christian.” I never did anything that raised “a suspicion.” I went to church every week and did the “Sunday thing.” I had no idea the kind of life my thoughts would bring. I felt much “turmoil” of what was in my head. “How much longer can I take this?” Were the words I said. As there were many bad thoughts that seemed to “burn.” Those around me didn’t know or were concerned. I needed some help. And I needed it fast! I didn’t know how much longer I would last! With no friend to help.., I decided to pray. This was my time with God! This was my day! I cried out to God with a voice of confession; “Dear Jesus rule over my mind and take possession!” As I read God’s word... Philippians 4:8 was found. Virtue and wholeness in my life needed to abound! I asked and begged God to help me to obey it! I gave my commitment to him. And not just “say it.” A love for him as a friend was found and did bring. His peace and love “washed away” the evil things. Christ restored my life and my mind was renewed. He set me free! Now, I’m BRAND NEW! Won’t you allow God to bring his love to your soul? With him in your life... All darkness will GO! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Do you not see me

I'm standing right in front of you, i'm the one with words loud and mute.
I swallow the truth, 
and spit out the lies,
But you still don't see me.
I carve designs of disgust to my body, and eat only pills of toxin and acid.
I am a ballerina, dancing my way through crowds,
floating on clouds and flying through the sky with my beating wings.
I light myself on fire and burn into a new soul, leaving ashes of memories behind me.
I run through a meadow of poisonous flowers,
and beat myself up for every calorie i stuff down my throat.
I yell in your ear at the top of my lungs and i stomp my feet, but you still don't see me.


Details | Rhyme | |

Another Fallen Leaf

She once was Daddy's precious little girl 
with golden hair in ringlets and tight curls. 
With a pretty new dress and bright shiny shoes 
but now she is battered, bleeding and bruised! 

Her childhood; now cut short- had been smiles, giggles and hope 
but now she is 'strung-up' on heroin and coke. 
It had all fallen to pieces when Daddy died so young 
her older brother crushed by it- couldn't cope and by rope he hung. 

Mother tried to bring up her children just right 
but they could hear her weeping softly in the night. 
Work was so scarce and Mom had no skills 
barely anything to eat, and not much for the bills. 

-So she learned to beg and steal at a tender age 
and blamed it on Daddy, it so filled her with rage! 
Soon she was drinking and fighting just to live 
then Mother died, she had given all she could give. 

She ran away, before 'those' people could come 
but they got her younger brothers, they were always too dumb. 
Not her; she had learned important 'rules' from the street, 
'you take from others if you wanted to survive and to eat!' 

Life wasn't too bad; if you could take the hard 'knocks' 
seeing kids sick and dead; had long ago numbed the shock. 
She was dirty, smelly, and usually strung-up so high 
that she hardly cared if she lived another day or she died. 

She had some 'homies'; that she could call on 
and one night they broke into a house for a little fun. 
They were all drugged up and had only done it for a hoot 
it had never crossed their minds, that the owner would really shoot! 

The others just scattered in panic and left her there alone 
the owner looked down and then went to the phone. 
She lay there dying, shaved head; no more ringlets and curls 
wishing just one last time, she was again her Daddy's little girl. 

©21/06/2012 
 












Details | Prose Poetry | |

Pondering continued

"Still no good, 
try harder and harder.".. 
Prove this, 
prove that... 

Everything in life- 
Big task... 
I can do anything... 
And I can, 
no satisfaction, 
nothing was good enough... 

"You're wasting your time,
you're wasting your life... 
You can be more, 
straighten up... 
Use your mind.".. 

I did... 
I did and it still,
ain't good enough... 

Task, test, test, test... 

More things to prove... 
No-one happy... 
I wasn't good enough, 
do better, you're not stupid...

"Use your talents, 
stop wasting them... 
Why are you like this??". 

And I wonder, 
why do you push me??. 
Why can't you accept me??. 

I've tried, 
but I focused on the wrong... 

"You could do better... 
No, yes, no, yes, 
better", they say...

"You can do it, 
you just ain't trying.".. 
You're stupid
if you can't do this or that... 

Why do you do this to hurt us??. 
Why can't you be like so and so??".  

But so and so isn't no better...

Why be competitive??. 
Why do I know things that are beyond??. 

Why was I stuck in a situation,
that I am someone??. 

When I feel like, 
I'm no-one... 

Why was I pressured and pressured??.  
Why only me??. 
And why was I always to blame??. 
And why did so many people,
fall for me??. 

But turn their backs on me... 

What did I do??. 
Nothing... 
Why do people treat me like I'm an artifact, 
like I'm a a God??. 

Why??. 
Am I me??. 

I am EVERYONE!!!

Written: OCJ or GCI in 1997


Details | Free verse | |

This is not a doll

“Why?” …

You were asked. You promised.
Go get her.
Her bare bones, broken, piled in the corner, stripped of all cloth, humanity, humility 
Mock the triviality of this earth. 
She transcends us all.
The shallow hollows where eyes once stared hold the deepest secrets.
The scalp, bald from years of brushing while ideas of beauty formulated.
The hands, rubbed down to nubs from grip during fear. 
She is comfort. Security. A Guardian Angel.
 
This is not a doll.
This is your daughter’s child, her sister, her friend. Her youth.
She was there when you weren’t.
Get her before the ghosts take over. Before the house crumbles.
Before you move away.
Go get her.
You were asked. You promised.


Details | I do not know? | |

Note to Father

How could you help bring me into this
world and not take care of me.
17 years later still no sign of u anywhere.
you and mom bailed out not given a shit
about me never in a million years would
I think of this ever happening. If I ever see u
or even get the chance to meet u, I will tell u
that I hate u and I never want to see u. Dad
don't u care anything about me, well just to let
u know I am doing just fine without u. Growing
up without a Father is something that hurts but
I learned to live without u.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Poem For Boo

Honey I know I failed you for so many years...
I really wanted to take from you sadness and tears...
I love you forever and I  will forever...
I enjoy every moment we have together...
I want you to know I didn't want to be away...
If I could take it all back I would today.

I wasnt the alcholic mom you thought I was...
I didn't leave just because...
I thought if I just danced one last time we'de be okay...
but one turned to many, and the money went away.

I really wish I was woman enough to give you your father...
But I think he was to young to bother...
I am sorry I devorced your dad...
I do know it made you sad...
I wanted to give you a better world...
I love you so much my babygirl.

I am sorry I wish I had been a better mom to you...
Now I am wanted your heart to be true...
I am really sorry and I wish I had made better choices...
Instead I was fighting to many voices.


Boo, I am really sorry I hurt you I wish for you I had made better choices. I never 
wanted to hurt you or leave you behind. I hope you know you are part of my 
happyness I will never give up again.


Details | Free verse | |

Preach

Preach to the full moon soldier
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder

Mother has child that father denies
Leaves when his baby lets out those first cries
Excuses flying, lies sailing; words without care
Feelings are complicated so share you don't dare
Lips that smile hold some bruises and a cut
Hands that have done the damage slam the door shut
You watch him out the window glass
Retreating figure gone at last

Preach to the full moon soldier
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder

Things get harder, mothers fired
Baby is toddler and much too tired
Money is in short supply
If only father would just comply 
To help raise his growing kid
Instead he ran and lost his bid
A single tear stains the cheek
Of a mother's soul who's much too weak

Preach to the full moon soldier 
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder

Mothers dead, everything's blown
Toddler is small child left alone
Father drunk, stumbling back
Custody left to this piece of slack
Days are long and too far gone
Nights are worse, he's never done
Talking his beer scented words speaking
He says to his child be kind, PREACHING

Preach to the full moon soldier 
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder

Small child has developed
Distinguished individual moving up
Swearing to the sky blue
They will be nothing like you
Father in jail thief from the night
Cell lit dimly with pal moonlight
A smile to the grown child
A tear from the man of the wild

Preach to the full moon soldier
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder


Details | I do not know? | |

The Girl and her Teddy Bear

The little girl cries, alone in her room, holding her teddy bear as the dread sets and looms. 
Crying and shaking, scared to sleep at night, tired of the struggles, tired of the fight. 
With her mom gone all night, and her dad drunk all day, aching to tell but at what price must she pay?
Needing a friend, someone to tell her secrets, someone to pick up all the broken pieces.
To walk to school with, to complain when boys are yucky, but no one like her could ever be that lucky. 
As the tears fill her eyes, and the snot in her nose, her door opens slowly, and the moment there just froze. 
tiptoeing so quietly, into her room, fear starts to spread swept like a broom. 
He fondle her blankets, stops at her waist, she is kicking and screaming for that shell get a taste. 
The man be becomes when he doesn't get his way, she is bleeding so now she must lay. 
When all is done and finished, she cries on her bed, reliving the nothing that is all left unsaid. 
Closing her eyes, she hears him downstairs, as she squeezes her teddy out flow the tears.
Eying the window perched on the wall, she pictures her life and lets herself fall.


Details | Free verse | |

Sacrificing

Looking through old photo boxes
I happen to trip upon
High School memories of my Mother
Resound off the walls, faded edges
Finger printed memoirs sigh between the creases
Of the emerald green sofa
Laughing, fashionable, full of vitality
Mother to me, was
A friend, a mentor, a lover, to somebody else
Seeing how she had a life, before this family

I felt the pregnant tears start to fall
Each weighing about 6 pounds or so
8 ounces, ten fingers, ten toes
Perfect forms of some sort of therapeutic
Amends for a mistake made years ago
Taking a solitary race down my face
But I never cry
I get this kind of strength from my Mom 

How is it that I don’t even know who you are?

Standing in front of the sink
Washing crusty dishes and wiping off crude recollections 
On windows, what is really behind, 
Those beautiful slanted eyes
I see in those photos?

The All American Dreamer
A photographer
Capturing moments in a single shot
Of insight, imagining her
Tiny frame spending hours in the developing room
Crimson passion running, igniting, illuminating her face
Dripping, re-dipping negatives, cutting and pasting
To make the world just a bit more beautiful
A touch more understanding
An image to make us human

How could she sacrifice everything?

For a bundle now grown and barely appreciating
Her surrender of a perfect dream, such ambition 
Why did she accept being pregnant at 18 years old
With a wide open road and an never ending horizon
Car packed, engine on blasting her favorite Madonna song
Instead she turned around and walked toward
Home, with a baby in her stomach, returning her rose colored aviator glasses
For reality tinted ones

Sacrificing one life for another

She turned around to 
Work a 9 to 5 job on minimum wage, 
She turned around to
come home to 
Such an ungrateful child

Mother, Unaccounted for, beautiful soul
Stuns me with radiance, such sweet
Abandon, selflessness,

I want to grow up to be just like her



 



Details | Lyric | |

Pain Is The Problem

All we do is fuss and fight.
It's like I just can't get it right.
One minute you're pissed, the next you're fine.
Why don't you try looking at yourself through my eyes.
What do you expect me to think?
Of course I think the problem is me!
How could I not?!
There are no other thoughts,
Nothing left for me to hold onto for sanity.
You've got me so upset I could start screaming profanity.
Why?!?!?! What's the point in the fighting?
Do you want me to just say you're right and,
Well, I don't know what you want me to do.
It's like I can't get it right with you.
I know you're my mom, but you act like you hate me.
Does arguing with me make you feel better lately?
All we do is fuss and fight.
It's like I just can't get it right.
It wasn't always like this, you know?
You're pushing me away and I'm about to go.
The stress and the pain aren't worth the tears.
I've never been so ready to face my fears,
To leave this house and all of the pain, too.
I'm packing my bags. Goodbye to you.


Details | Free verse | |

Let Me Go

I don't want to live my life in fear
What can I do to make you hear
Go on and live your life
While i carry on in my strife
You don't have to worry so much
I can live without your crutch 
It's obvious you don't understand
So I'm carrying out what I already had planned
You knew this moment would come but not so soon
We shed a tear as I look up at the moon
Standing in a silenced fight
I take my walk in the dead of night


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Sometimes I Ponder page 1

PONDERING--

I seen myself, torn away... 
I knew, this was going to kill us both... 
For we seen each other as, 
someone else... 

We thought the same, 
we shared the same feelings,
 thoughts,
and pain... 

Two broken hearts, 
two souls, 
hiding, 
afraid.. 

"Why should I Love?.. 
For this is more pain... 

I'm afraid... 
I don't want to hurt, no more...

I'm tired of looking and now,
I've done it again... 
I've fallen in love... 

How can I be so stupid... 
I guess, I'm just looking forward, 
to a broken heart... 

Torment and Pain... 
Two minds possessing these thoughts... 
I don't want to live in pain... 
I deserve a chance... 

I've proven--
well I tried to prove everything... 
But it seemed to be so hard,
to Prove my Love... 

Is it the hardest task to prove?.. 

So stupid to think about, 
WHY??  
Why did so many do me wrong,
what did i do??. 

How do I know, how can I be sure, 
that this won't happen again??. 

Is there really someone out there,
that understands??  
Is there someone out there that actually feels, 
the way I do??  

Is there someone out there for me??

The worlds against me, 
everyone is out to get me... 
I wasn't meant to be happy... 
I was told I was evil... 

I was told, nobody would ever put up with me... 

I was always different 
and hard to understand... 

I never harmed anyone, 
never meant to, if I did...
But it always seemed that I did... 

But how?..  
I never done anything wrong... 

But I was accused constantly, 
over and over...
I was the cause of some mishap....

But how?.. 
I wasn't even around, 
even near any mistake made... 

But it turned out to be,
my fault... 
I was easily accused... 
I took the blame, 
to avoid a big controversy... 

I was always wrong...
Everything I did, everything I said,
and every thought in my head was wrong... 

"You're not thinking right... 

Evil thoughts, 
you speak of evilness...
You corrupt, 
You torment... 
You destroy 
and ruin every-ones lives... 

Bad luck, misfortune..". 

Nothing I've done was good enough...


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Help

Born into a life of wonder and exploring Her parents she looks up to Curious mind roaring her parent adoring What she doesn’t know her faith she would soon lose Years grew old as the child grown And her father gives her these looks Her mother wonders but should have know In husband mind what cooks Mother works hard day by day Father sits and waits Father and child they play all day But by then it would be late “Daddy please don’t hurt me, get off!” Her voice yells with fright “Only one time I swear” He doesn’t really care Next morning comes she wants to die “Mommy why won’t her breath Close her eyes and you believe me” “Oh, darling why would you lie?” Believe me “why?” cries Days go one and months go by No one believe her she can’t go one She grabs her dad’s gun, she begins to cry That father trust is beyond gone She cocks the gun and holds dreams Pulls the trigger and it bring death And the heaven light beams She was raped and it ended her life Because no one listened to her Her life cut short as if by a knife This happened all the time Just listen to the cry


Details | I do not know? | |

Blur

You left a hole in my heart that nobody can fix
I always listen to your favorite songs and look back at old pics
You let me be myself by giving me freedom and space
You never yelled at me when you were mad, but I could see it in your face
You were a pretty quiet guy and enjoyed your time alone
You loved fishing, bike riding, and listening to the music on your phone
You protected the family by making us feel secure
Whenever I was sick you always knew the proper cure
You weren’t big on doctors or getting help from others
You didn’t tell anyone you were sick, not even your mother
You didn’t want people to think you weren’t tough
You always told Brad and I not to sweat the small stuff
Although you didn’t show it often, I knew you were so proud of me
I loved showing off my grades to you, you never cared when I got a B
You wanted me to be happy with whatever I chose to do
You never forced me to be a doctor, it is what I choose to pursue
We had a special relationship unique to you and I
I will never forget kissing you that final goodbye
You laid there in peace, with an open mouth and closed eyes
No longer breathing, you had finally died
I sat there in shock, not knowing what to do
I cant believe this was my dad, why did it have to be you?
I felt so many emotions that my body felt numb
I hope this is something I will one day overcome 
My heart is in such pain and I am constantly sad
I can’t believe this happened to my smart, healthy dad
This traumatizing experience will never escape my mind
I watched how your health gradually declined
When you were put on the ventilator, I knew it was bad news
It was so scary and painful to see what you were going through
I hated that you couldn’t talk and that you were heavily sedated
I was praying to heaven that you would finally be extubated
I jumped for joy when mom called to say the tubes were removed
Little did I know that you would never improve 
So much has changed since all of this occurred
When I look back on this experience, it is all a blur


Details | I do not know? | |

Be With Me

I am sorry
For my misery.
Yet now I feel that
Inner hope is still real
And I regret having all that sadness,
But now I've let it out
And without a doubt.

I now release my inner gladness.
For you all have been here
Inside my heart
And I now refuse to part
From the world.
Because no matter how
Much pain I go through
There's something left to gain
And no I won't let my past
Cause me anymore misery,
Because you will always
Be with me.


Details | Ballad | |

Running

She’s running….run faster,
Maybe he won’t catch you,
Run…I’m not going anywhere, 
Oh no he’s getting closer,
Please help! 
He has me in is arms,
Why won’t he stop?
Run…! Run..!
Why can’t I scream…?
Maybe louder maybe kicks or bites,
Nothings helping,
Run…run, 
Try to get away,
No one sees him,
No one sees it,
How?
 Why?
Running, running into the dark,
No! God no!
Maybe if I had a gun,
Yes, I’ll shoot,
Shoot, me, no him,
BANG..!
I’m dead.
……..he’s still there.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Who Loves Ya Baby {Footle}

Love starts
    From heart
           
Sown daily
      For my baby

One look
  Got hooked

Only twelve
 Southern belle

Were apart
       How tart

Lives with dad
      Oh how sad

Shes my baby
    Quite the little lady


Hope she understands
      This was not in my plans

For God only knows
   As my tears flows

Please forgive me
         My little Jenny




Tribute To My
Jenny Rose
Mama Loves You Peanut


Note -

Due to my unknown illness my little girl
lives with her dad and it keeps me from
being a full time mom to her for when medicated
I lay in a unconscious state up to 9 hrs I been suffering
for over 20 yrs now and there is no cure just ways to make
sickness bearable with injections to tush lol


Also Entry For
John Heck's
Love It Heals & Hurts Contest


Details | I do not know? | |

Silent Cries

My tears began to flow like the blood from my ****** when he raped me.

It’s crazy how he looks into my eyes & can’t seem to see himself.

The spitting image of him, I wonder if he was raped like he’s raping me.

With every thrust it feels like my insides are being ripped apart

and life begins to seep out of my body.

He starts to pant & jerk letting me know he is done.

As he leaves the room, I am too weak to move.

Closing my eyes, I begin to pray, “Dear Lord please hear my cries”.

I know my mother who’s in the room next to me hears my cries but is to highed up to even care.

She ignores the fact that my ****** looks played with, abused, and misused.

MY OWN FATHER RAPED ME & my mother ignored it.


Details | Bio | |

Change for what

Why must I always strive to make you happy?
When you always make fun of me?
Always put me down?

Why must I put my life on hold
to do something you want for me?
When you always tell me I'm stupid?
And always call me names?

Why do I love you,
And put up with you *****24/7?
Is it because your family?
Or because I have to?

I'm tired of this so-called life. 
Having no say in what I do.
Where I go,
Or even who my friends are. 

I'm to the point to where I'm ready to leave.
Leave you. Leave the world. 
So tired of you and your crap,
I'm ready to fall asleep,
and never wake up. 

You expect me to be someone I'm not. 
Your disappointed that I'm me,
And that I'm not changing for you. 

I shouldn't have to change for you. 
Your my mother, and my father.
And you should accept me as I am. 

I've tried to change. 
I quit drinking. 
I even quit smoking pot. 
For you. 
I've done everything I can do to try to get you to like me. 
But nothing I do is good enough for you. 

Why do I bother?
I could of been gone a long time ago. 
Could of put me, and you, out of misery. 
Could of made your life, and mine, more peaceful, and happier. 

But because I don't want to hurt the ones in my life who actually care, 
I put up with you. 

Yeah, I smoke again. And drink again too. 
But its the only way I can face you. 
Face you everyday, and keep my sanity. 

I'm not doing it for me. 
And I'm sure not doing it for you.
Im doing it for my friends and family that care.
And you, are neither. 

You one was,
But no longer do I care about
What you do, or say, or even feel. 
Your dead to me. 

Maybe when you lose me for good,
You'll realize how good of daughter i could of been,
That I wanted to be.
But couldn't be because when I tried, 
I disappointed you. 

Everything I did, and do,
Is a disappointment to you. 
Everything I say or think, 
You frown upon. 

I'm sorry I'm not perfect.
But if you can't accept me as I am,
You don't deserve me.


Details | Free verse | |

The Ride

  Liquid filled dreams crept through the cool night breeze as a still distant thunder cracked the horizon.

  I thought to my self that an earth quake must be taking ground for it’s sake. 

  Safe over the hill and still quit far up aways my moms home baked cookies broke the day.
 
  I had my own “Loc Ness”, quite the demon, and as not to sneak snacks was an easyprice to pay.

  My world began empty and cold as it seemed from one life bring wisdom.
 
Rough enough storm to destroy, every thing that we knew, the tusnami -a wave of a storm.

  I confess to hearing her laugh what a story this was going to make. 

  Later they tried to pan the bottom of the oceans floor hoping to avoid more. 

  And I will leave you here on your own but then after it’s done you’ll be home.
 
  No matter what you’ll stay, but if another one comes Austrailia is that way,my moms arm waved.

   And I see her begining to stare, her mind was set on wide open to get it all those people saved.

  I do still answer myself again and again about why if it hurts so bad, 

The answers all began to be crystal clear and the answer is; 

She worked hard to make it a decent place to live and storms bad enough they called in the Hubble.

   A tusnami destroys everything. 

  Everything she loves about her life is in rubble.

 Based on the idea of how people live,

   And why she cares when they die, 

Fighting with intimacy, 

  While they drag the sea to collect people who died, 

  And my mind begins to wonder why the storms taking so long to decide, 

We are waiting here waiting for another heck of a ride.


Details | Cinquain | |

I'm Sorry Girls

Mommas sorry I took you from
The only life that you knew of

Mommas sorry I took you away
From your world of friends of every day

Mommas sorry you had to adjust
To brand new teacher’s and studious musts

Mommas sorry you haven’t fit in
To a school of strangers and what had been

Mommas sorry I had no other choice
Than to sooth your fears using my voice

Mommas sorry if you feel all alone
But I’ll guide you through this fearful unknown

Mommas sorry you’ve tried so very hard
Still nothing has changed, all but new scars

Mommas sorry for the sudden change
Adapt my daughters to all that’s strange

Give me time to help you feel at ease
Give me the moment to help you please

© Stacy Lynn Stiles


Details | Free verse | |

The Ugliest Girl in the World

I’m the ugliest girl in the world
I hide on the outside
With make up
With curls
When I’m thin people like me
Congratulations!
What an achievement
For abandoning myself
When I’m fat, people like me
Ugliness peeks through
So witty!
So smart!
So talented!
Thank god she’s fat!
In between
Mother says with mother bias
What a pretty face
Father says with male bias
I’m an 8 out of 10
Thanks, Dad
Lovers know what I want to hear
But won’t say
It will seem false
It will be false
After all
I am the ugliest girl in the world

Lovers compliment others
Words never said to me
For I am ugly
If I had the right kind of knife
I’d carve an X into my face
Diagonal
Right to left
Diagonal
Left to right
X-ed out
Then there would be no question
It’s the wondering that kills me

Maybe, maybe it doesn’t matter
Maybe, maybe I’m pretty
This woman lives in me, somewhere
Battling my ugly
Battered by my ugly
In me, two people who despise each other
No one sees my wounds
Agonizing wars, b*tches brawl
If I had the right kind of knife
I’d cut them right out of my chest
Leaving a void
Where the pain was
A void
My ugly pain
MY ugly
Where would I be without my ugly?


Details | Rhyme | |

The Gunslinger

He was a gunslinger from the lone star state,
With a mind full of anger and a heart full of hate.
He wore two six shooters,one on each hip,
With the notches of the dead cut into the grip.
The eyes of this gunslinger showed no emotion or fear,
Every one kept there eyes on him when he was near.
Then along came a stranger,with a star upon his chest,
Looking for the man from the deep southwest.
He called the man out from the lone star state.
He knew that talking was useless,his words would carry no weight.
As they pulled there guns,the gunslinger gave it his best.
But the bullet that struck first was from the man with the star on his chest.
When the gunslinger hit the ground,the marshal asked him why,
The man from the lone star state showed emotion and shed a tear from his eye.
She was just a kid when the gang rode into town,
She was barely sixteen,why did they gun her down.
You finally put me to rest,the anger and hate will finally subside,
And as the gunslinger past away,the marshal finally knew why.


Details | List | |

Abuse

Trying to forget what she's seen for years
She starts to cry
She's 13 and ready to leave
Without even saying good-bye
Her parents have beat her black and blue
Not saying or telling her why
She looks around the room one last time
And lets out a little sigh
Leaving this time would bot be harder
Since she's done this thing before
She picks up her bag
And walks right out the door
She doesn't know where she's going
She doesn't care
But she knows one thing for sure
She's never coming back
She whispers a soft good-bye


Details | Free verse | |

the pain of a users daughter

Her consistancy finally persuaded you to stay,
it still upsets me sometimes that she convinced you to treat your only daughter this way,
i know her addiction must be very tough, and i know crystal is her name
i used to look up to you, i used to tell my friends how lucky i was to have a dad like you,
but, that was the past befoure, meth became your soul, befoure you spun out of control,
i don't know if you ever think about the pain you have caused,
my innocent soul shattered to pieces, my heart broken while, my eyes were wide open,
no morphine can stop this uncontorolable pain, all the traumatizing memories consantly racking threw my insecure teenae brain,
i thought you could fight the addiction,
but, the truth is, you love her more than you love me,
i never knew you would fail me like this,
you looked me straight into my tear filled eyes and you and crystal told me a lie,
crystal has took away your honor of being called dady now your just my biological father,
she will follow you to your death bed, while your laying there alone and so filled with fear, you'r personality always filled with blame, its so sad to know she put you to shame and you can only blame yourself
you will not let her go; so i must say good bye


Details | Free verse | |

CRUSHED

You can crush the image
Bring up the past
You can crush the future
But it won't last

You can crush the happy that I feel
Twist and tangle all my dreams
You can crush the life no longer real
Take my laughter; or so it seems

You can crush the smile from my face
You can crush my wish to stars above
You can crush the Hope - plans erased
But you can never crush my Love


Details | Free verse | |

Given in Faith and Love

Your words, yes, came to me in a chilling joy.
Notions of your affirmation of our union came,
With jubilation along with sadness, my victory,
My salute of knowledge, you held no love for me.
I was the object of comforting happiness within.
Since a carriage of a life, you knew, was not mine.
However, I had begged God in Heaven for the chance.
A chance for you to learn to love me, as I did you,
I felt love at times as we lived together in our lie.
You said you learned to love me, was that another lie.
I never felt that we were living in a lie, together.
Those were your words, not mine, after you fled.
I made mistakes, you made mistakes, and we shared them.
You left me. Saying you did not love me anymore.
That I had killed our love with my final misinterpretation,
Nevertheless, you would not let me go, you returned to haunt me.
You returned to charm and deceive my affections so real.
You burned my sincerity; you carved my spirit deeply.
You kept me drifting in life without any hope or pride.
Maybe I deserved some of what you delivered upon me.
Maybe I was ashamed of the discrimination of my night.
Whatever, was between us, should have been between us.
Not the child who was your mistake and my Gods sent.
She was innocent, caught between your lie, my emotion.
Our marriage might have been a lie, though our child, truth.
Truth that some prayers are answered, given in faith and love.


Details | Monorhyme | |

REBELLION AND LOYALTY

In the restless fifties, teens had to face many realities:
join the draft and go to war or rebel and bear absurdities,
the neutral ones stayed in college and avoided penalties;
oh for God's sake, why should any youngster fight enemies?
Hippies rebelled against the government and shouted obscenities;
they wanted to smoke pot, make love and have lots of babies.
When Motherland calls her soldiers, there are no certainties...
either you fight to survive, or you surely die without strategies.
All mothers cried as they departed to meet their destinies;
did anyone hear them whispering those rules to assure safeties? 
The young soldiers did, not discarding hopes and possibilities.
The Vietnam War was a long one, stretching into the seventies;
many didn't return, some did to enjoy serenities and liberties...
and proud they were to have served well, shunning insecurities.


Details | Rhyme | |

Echoes of your name

Down memory lane, 
I waited in vain 

For your sweet smile 
To come even for  a while.

But all that came  then,
Was the whispering wind from heaven,

Blowing in a slow processing of light,
With echoes of  your name in the darkling night.

Buzzing breeze breathing webs of cloud,
Shows wakeful sorrows clad in mournful shroud.


Details | Rhyme | |

Untitled 12

Mistakes are born in sterile rooms...alone in isopropyl fumes
Beneath a spray of congratulations
Aware of darker connotations
Mistakes by fools who lose their gloves...fools in grade school, not in love
confirming all the allegations
Provoking late night altercations
These, mistakes not forgive: not put to bed like little fibs
No, you will grow to rue that day
when you realize what you walked away
from.


Details | ABC | |

Young Teenage Girls

Young teenage girls
Falling for these kinds of boys
Giving up themselves
All just for the taste of love
Next thing you know
They don’t come back tomorrow
Yesterday was today
Today was another day
When will they stop?
And realize
That these young boys
Are just here to destroy
What’s really yours
All they want is more and more
If not they’ll walk out of the door
They just want to know you from head to toe
Thiers nothing for you to hide
Except the shame inside
Sex isn’t the answer
All these young boys want is pleasure
But love is much louder
Than the pressure
Of just wanting to be perfect
Just for him
When will they open their eyes?
And realize 
That there’s more to life
Then falling in love
At this young age right now
And somehow
They seem so blind
It really makes me want to cry
They use us as sex object
Sex is their subject
And we don’t listen to our friends
But just want to please him
Young teenage girls
Falling for these kinds of boys
Giving up themselves
All just for the taste of love
Next thing you know
They don’t come back tomorrow
Yesterday was today
Today was another day
When will they stop?




Details | Blank verse | |

Daydreams

She stares out the car window
Solemn and quiet 
Compared to the heated argument 
That just erupted in the front seat...
She daydreams
Waiting for the day she can leave;
Get away from this living hell
Far as she can run
Make her own decisions;
Her own life
Out from under Daddy's thumb...
Its always the same;
The fights, 
Then stony silence for days
The hidden bruises
The pain-
Physical and emotional hurt-
Hypocritical lectures from 
''The Master'' (Daddy)
Ruined relationships;
She lives with a broken heart-
Broken and half-way healed
So many times
It feels like it was never whole-
Tears trickle down her cheeks
She quickly rubs them away
Before Daddy sees.
And she daydreams again...


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

So Tiny

The thoughts of you, brings tears to my eyes. The tiny eyes, that I'll never get to look into. The tiny hands, I'll never get to hold. My heart breaks, when I think about, the tiny heart I'll never get to feel, the tiny voice I'll never get to hear, the tiny body I'll never get to hold closely. So tiny, So small. but our love for you, so strong.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Strength Renewed, My Rock

On the day of July nine 
In the year of ninety and six. 
Her heart was so pure and so fine 
But too weak for the surgeon to fix. 
Her eyes still shown bright as day 
But her frail body had wasted away 
Her smile as warm as the love 
That she gave through Jesus above 
She knew she would not pull through 
But not one moment of sadness or blue 
Did she cast to her loved ones there 
Who waited and prayed for her care 
The Day was the twelfth of July 
The hours ticked endlessly by 
Many friends and family too 
People I never knew 
Came to say their farewells 
To a sister who with Jesus now sails 
On a peaceful and gentle tide 
To ever abide at his side 
As the service came to a close 
And the time was as everyone knows 
To cover her body with earth 
Though her spirit had now a new birth 
From out of the crowd stepped a child 
Who's heart like her grandmother's  was mild 
She picked up a shovel and prayed 
As everyone stood there dismayed 
Some tried to keep her from her task 
She looked to her Grandpa with eyes that ask 
He said to those who had tried 
To stop this child at the side 
Of her grandmother's still open grave 
With shovel in hand and heart so brave 
Let her be was his reply 
She's strong enough I won't deny 
She then began her chosen task 
Permitted to do what her heart had ask 
Shovel by shovel and tear by tear 
Her respect paid true to a lady so dear 
At the tender young age of only ten
This little girl whose life has been 
Directed and sculpted by the events of that day 
And by the grandmother who taught her to pray 
Just ten precious years she shared with her here 
But forever in her heart her grandmother is near 
I am the mother of this brave little child 
And never has any heart been so mild 
The day was the twelfth of July 
And to my Mother I said good bye 
A new strength was shown to me that day 
In the child I had birthed and taught to play 
Grandmother's shoes are not easy to fill 
But with a heart of gold and the strength and will 
She to this day has been my best friend 
In absence of Mother my rock to the end 
Now twelve years later a woman full grown 
No longer here with me, elsewhere on her own 
No matter the distance in miles or in time 
She still fills the shoes of that Mother so fine 
And knowing her task will never be done 
She looks to the Heaven's, The Father, The Son 
But also she looks for a glimpse now and then 
From the Grandmother she knows will hold her again


Details | I do not know? | |

Motherly Love

Her blonde hair blows in the wind
As she sits on top of Dewdrop Hill
Tears run down her soft damp cheeks
For her mother was recently killed
She lays down beautiful fresh flowers
Then kisses her mothers grave
Tears falling from her bright blue eyes, she stands
She then tells herself she needs to be brave
Her head down low, she looks up
Only to see the perfect angel
Her face seems to light up with joy
She says aloud your very beautiful
Her mother opens her arms for a hug
The little girl runs up without a fight
They hug forever, never letting go
While the mother and daughter reunite


Details | I do not know? | |

I'll Always be Your Fool

I'll Always be Your Fool

I wish you were just an ex
Your wicked spell has me hexed,
Thinking I could get over you,
Damn I was such a fool

Ill never know how to get over you
I'm always going to be your fool..

I was all good until June,
Then my heart started craving food,
Just doesn't seem quite right,
Something isn't filling my appetite,

Ill never know how to get over you
I'm always going to be your fool..

Hit me like a brick,
My dad, the ultimate dick,
We haven't spoken in years,
You still brings me to tears,

Ill never know how to get over you
I'm always going to be your fool..

You should be here for this,
You cross my mind I get pissed,
Wish I could tuck these feelings,
Its all part of the healing,

Ill never know how to get over you
I'm always going to be your fool..

Whether its a wedding, 
New kid,
Something I've accomplished,
Or wish I did
I'd love to share it with you,
You'll never apologize,
So I'll just have to improvise
Don't think any amount of time will heal,
Gotta get a grip and learn to deal.




Details | I do not know? | |

Pain Of My Heart

All this anguish in my heart,
Conflict tears my sole apart,
The pain I feel does not compare,
To the loss I feel when she’s not there.

I wish so much to hold her close,
If not her then her ghost,
Each day goes by in a clouded mist,
Another razor at my wrist,

The days are bright and pretty birds sing,
Yet in my head their voices ring,
Blinded by this misery,
So confused it baffles me!

Maybe one day we shall meet again,
I hope that’s when the pain will end,
But for now I sit and cry,
Because we had to say good bye.


Details | Free verse | |

Dual Failings

The sins of the father 
Are visited upon the son
But the failings of the mother 
Come calling as well.

I hear the blows land 
From down the hallway
Helpless to intervene
Powerless to prevent them.

One decision from the past
Haunts everyday.
Reiterating my dual failings
As both a mother and a daughter.


Details | Free verse | |

Honor Thy Parents

`Honor thy father and mother` ~Ten Commandments it is She who has given birth to me, it is He who has worked to raise me, it is They who have given me life and kept me alive. I should be expressing my eternal gratitude, My undying respect and sworn obedience, yet what do I do? Their kindness and love, I forsake, Their faces, weary from working to support me, I curse at, The loyalty, respect and gratitude they deserve, I forget. I bury myself with guilt, I don`t know how to ask forgiveness, I find it hard to express my feelings with honesty. I have at least filial piety, Obligated by nature and by God, to honor my parents. Yet till now I always curse them when I don`t mean to, I answer back before I stop my cursed mouth, and I don`t give them to honor they deserve. I am the worst daughter, I have the best parents, I cry myself to sleep.


Details | Pastoral | |

Nancy`s long journey to Heaven

Through the clouds
toward the bright light.
The gates of Heaven 
are in sight.
No more sadness
no need to roam.
No more earth
Heaven`s my "forever home."
The angelic choir sins
my favorite hymns.
Saint Peter comes over
to let me in.
I look at the
streets of gold.
in the distance God`s mansion I behold.
God calls me
he knows my name.
I`m so happy now
no more pain.
out stretched arms    he
welcomes me home.
"well done my daughter
I`m glad your home."


Details | Rhyme | |

Dirty trick

It’s 3:15 am and you’re out walking the street

Been a long night for you, treated like fresh meat

Only sixteen, shaking your stuff for the boys

Moving that tight can with your bag full of toys

A john here and there, what the hell, just another lay

Use me, rape me, push it in deep, whatever you have to say

Your old man’s got three other tarts; it is his trick of the tail

All young hot girls on the street, fresh meat for sale

You’re just another runaway, sometimes getting beat

Too close to the fire, you’re gonna get burned, you don’t even feel the heat

One night a trick goes bad, they find you the next day dead

The last thing going through your mind was something your momma always said

Baby girl, don’t get yourself in the world alone and lost

You have no idea what it will do, no measure of the cost


Details | I do not know? | |

CAYLEE MARIE ANTHONY

Oh little one, for you I stand
Oh little one, your life I defend
A voice that can no longer be heard
Justice for you, I will not be deterred
All my waking hours and they have been long
I fight for a verdict, I must be strong
For at the end it is you that I see
Justice for a beautiful and precious Caylee

God has taken you home, here you were not deserved
Suffer no longer, for now judgment reserved
The punishment we seek here on earth was not meant to be
An unfocused jury has set your killer free
But I know that one day and hopefully soon
She will stand before God and his wrath she’ll consume

An angel you are and always will be
The Lord took your hand and set you free

Rest in peace Caylee Marie Anthony


Details | Rhyme | |

She's a Runaway

While on patrol Down by the beach A shadow in the water Just out of my reach It's off a young girl About sixteen years old What would have troubled her For her life to fold We report it in And await the coroners van To unscramble this enigma As to why this all began Down at the morgue Through her belongings we look A bracelet we find And her diary book We check on the computer Under the missing persons file This girl so young Still a juvenile We sit and ponder At her watery stray This girl so young She's a runaway We head back to the patrol car For we have sad news to tell How do you tell her parents For inside me it dwells We knock on the door And her mother appears May we please come in As her smile disappears On the beach front tonight A young girl was found In the shallows by the pier I'm so very sorry, she drowned On the way back to the precinct I'm thinking of home Of my own young daughter Pray-fully, she'll never roam A week has passed Since they laid her to rest They said, look after your daughter I sure will mam, I'll do my best http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-4.php


Details | Rhyme | |

All Alone on the Shore Road

To whoever finds my letter, or even reads my words
I know what to say, but i know I'll never be heard

I sit on this shore road, all alone and afraid
My exams are a nightmare, can't even make my grades

Who can i turn to, where can i go
I'm so far behind, the other kids say I'm slow
 
The lure of the shoreline, inviting waters of end
What will i find there, for who will i befriend

To my mama and papa, i do love you so
From your loving daughter, with the waters I'll flow




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-3.php


Details | Rhyme | |

We're Greatly Influenced By Society


We’re Greatly Influenced By Our Society We’re greatly influenced by our society. Our culture comes in many types of “varieties.” Often, there is a wicked and sinful force.. As people forget God, and look to another “source.” Too often, many in society have “confused” minds. Evil and perversion come in many different kinds We often read in the news just about every day. Something that another “confused” mind has to say. “Where did this person go wrong?” Is wondered. Another family or person is “torn and plundered.” “If my people humble themselves, and repent of their ways.” “I will heal their land!” This is what God says! Without God as the focus of our life’s attention. We’re sure to go “off course.” Into the wrong direction. “There is a way that seems right.” “But the end is death.” This is a truth of God’s word… Until your last breath! Jesus is the answer to any kind of difficult situation. We desperately need him all across our nation! Only he brings the love and fulfillment we need to obtain. We can find everything we need in HIS precious name! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

I walked by this world

Saying sorry to your daughter,
the words seem empty never 
enough.

I raised my voice I made her cry,
a solitary tear trickled from her eye.

In my weakness a red mist rises,
and now a flow of weeping tears 
cascades.

I have a go about her behaviour,
yet it's me who has slipped up. I 
say a prayer asking forgiveness
from my gentle loving saviour.

I'm ashamed and to blame for a 
little girl hurt, I should have walked
in gentleness instead I walked by 
this world.

I asked her forgiveness and cuddles,
and of course she forgave me, it's
time I let go and let the lord truly
lead me.



Details | I do not know? | |

Sacrifice or Murder

I killed my son
I sacrificed my little one
So I could continue to party
He was to be just like his daddy
Smile and chase girls like his many god-daddies

I killed my daughter
It’s like I brought my baby girl to the beach
And held her head under the water
Like I put poison in her bottle

I gave my seed cyanide in a water bottle
Heartless bastard
What kind of man kills his seed
What possesses his heart to commit such a deed
Lord forgive your son and daughter
Who killed her son
Who killed his daughter 

We slit his wrists
Though there were no wrists to slit
Yet we put razors to her tiny hands
Cause he would mess up our plans
We should’ve made it work
Looking back I’d make it not hurt

To take her life
I would’ve done my baby right 
I’d been just like my daddy
Teach my boy to swim
Teach him to shave and drive
I’d teach my baby girl to ride her bike
Tell her that little boys were evil

I want my “daddy’s girl”
I want my son to see this world
Parents from two islands, paradise
Life would be a walk through paradise

But our seed is gone
That dream is done
That nightmare now relived
Spiritual pain now received 

Mommy’s gone
Our love is done
We sacrificed you
To murder our love
We sacrificed our love 
To murder you


Details | Lyric | |

Mama Cries With Raindrops

I saw tears in my baby girls eyes today
I heard her whisper, mama can you hear me
She said mama, I really miss you and need you hear
She said can you see the flowers mama, here beneath this tree

And as I listened, I heard my baby girl say
Mama they're your favorite color, can you see them from above
And as I knelt down beside her, I said mama loves roses
I told her when it rains, it's mama sending her love

When mama's happy, mama cries with raindrops
Yes, mama cries with raindrops
So when the flowers bloom so big and bright
Always remember, mama cries with raindrops
Mama cries with raindrops

I saw a smile on my baby girls face today
Heard her whispering, mama it's been awhile 
She said mama, I planted some new flowers just for you
She said mama can you smell the flowers, beside this dirt pile

Just then raindrops started to fall
A soft white cloud moved in over the yard above
My baby girl turned to me with a big smile and said
Daddy look, mama's sending her love

When mama's happy, mama cries with raindrops
Yes, mama cries with raindrops
So when the flowers bloom so big and bright
Always remember, mama cries with raindrops
Mama cries with raindrops


Details | Tanka | |

Rock Climbing

My daughter and I Were rock climbing one morning We got up real high I reached the top of the rock And awaited my daughter Something went bad wrong Her rope came completely loose And she was falling I grabbed rope hard and tightly But she was slipping away I started to fall Caught myself nearly the end I heard a small voice Yelling up to me, pleading “Save yourself, just let me go”
And I had to…
Russell Sivey This is a fictitious poem . No events actually took place in my life. Entrant into Lisa Hiatt ~Dark Poetess "Letting go " contest 3/30/2012


Details | Rhyme | |

HUMANE

                              It was a day for joyful tears.
                        It was a day for newborn fears.
                My daughters’ Confirmation I am so proud.
                 I speak of her to others, and I speak loud.
             AS we left the service, my eyes never looked down.
            I never saw that June Bug crawling upon the ground.
          My daughter stepped upon him, while sunning on a rock.
        His face, his legs, and one antennae crushed; he was in shock.
                           Daddy, Daddy, please fix him.
          I became Doctor Daddy, to appease my daughters’ whim.
     I picked up the June Bug, left his antenna, legs, and face in stone. 
         My daughter spoke softly, I know he does not live alone.
            The saline glistening tear running down my cheek.
          My dearest darling daughter, heed the words I speak.
This June Bug suffered so much pain : to let him die would be Humane.
        On the quiet ride home, I could see my daughter ponder.
                  Then she said to me , DADDY : I wonder.

When we go to hospital, to see GRANDMA-- Will you be  HUMANE ?  


Details | Free verse | |

Sadness

The women stood in front of the table 
Her sad hands
Empty
Hallow
With nothing
she looked at her daughter
smiles and laughter
i wish her the best
nothing less
the sun shines on your golden hair
i love you, dear
Dont get hurt
promise me you wont
take my hand
one last time
forever more
say that you must
smile
dance
laugh
sing
just promise me you will dream
when i fade to grey
you are getting older 
you have a life
children of your own
you start to cry
clutch to my hand
ill never leave
im always here
Clinging...


Details | Narrative | |

The Curse of Unlimited Time

“Don’t forget to take your dose.”
My stomach in knots, as I shakily spoke.
“Baby, you know my death is coming close.”
“But mommy, I don’t want you to go.”

Doctors walked past,
Blurs of white stepping in and out fast,
As my mother and I tried to make the night last,
Pulling out memories and revisiting the past.

All of our ‘remember when’s’,
Made me wish I was there again,
Back when I thought there was time to spend,
With my mom, on who I could always depend.

“Why’d this have to happen now?”
My lips trembled as thoughts were spoken aloud.
“How can we change it, baby? Please, tell me how.”
“Cancer can’t take you! It’s not allowed!”

I crawled up beside her,
Beside my hero, my mother,
I heard the slow heart of my source of will-power,
And cursed the sickness that absorbed and devoured.

My mind rushed with things I needed to say,
Secrets that I kept so they’d stay out of the way.
But I was cut short as time ticked away,
And only one memory in my mind began to play.

“Remember when I started to cry,
That one day you never told me goodbye?
I always knew it was a silly reason why,
But you came back anyways and this was your reply.”

“My pretty little princess, I love you!
And I will always know you love me too.
So if I forget to say bye, please don’t be blue,
Because our bond is strong and will always stay true.”

The memory made up for things I couldn’t tell her,
And in this moment it made me feel the slightest bit better.
But yet all these emotions were flooding like water,
As I knew I was going to lose my mommy forever.

“I promise I love you baby, that’s all you need to know,”
And this time it was her voice that shakily spoke.
“I’m not scared of death, I’m just scared of letting you go.”
She winced in pain, death was too close.

“Mommy!” I screamed, scared out of my mind.
She smiled, then it faded as she laid there and died.
It’s indescribable what loss and longing I felt inside,
My mind went numb as I couldn’t bring myself to cry.

I need you,
I want you,
I miss you…

I love you mommy.


Dedicated to all who have lost their moms.
In sickness or old age,
Whatever it may have been,
This is for you.



Details | Ballad | |

The Road Fight

The crowd surrounded the side of the road
Looking at the scene.
An old man shouted on a young lady
He ordered her to keep quiet.
But the lady was very sturbborn.

She pounced on her opponent,
A man, a big man, she bit the man on his biceps
The man showed the arm, with blood, to the old man.
The old man slapped his daughter.
The young lady pushed her old man.

The old man fell in the hands of the crowd.
The big man saw this he then attacked the lady.
The crowd had tried to stop the big man,
But two were deposited on the lady's face.
The lady's eyes had sworn and her lips was blood.

The lady's supporters moved away to call another huge man.
Before the huge man came the lady had off her blouse.
Her bra was exposed as she was ready to die.
When her boyfriend came, he attacked the big man with a green bottle.
It landed on the big man's head unhappily.

Her boyfriend then stabbed the big man in the stomach.
The police came, then the crowd scattered and the police made no arrest.
That was the end.
Because the old man wanted her daughter the big man,
and the lady wanted to marry her own boyfriend.
That was the flesh of the contention.

Nobody in the world knew this.
It was only God, me and the reader.


Details | I do not know? | |

A crack in life

Many times you left me out to dry dangling from a string.
I can't comprehend why you don't control your urge. 
I know every night at midnight you sneak out and splurge.
Before that smokey pipe you were so full of youth.
Now your eyes are grey and bleak,cutting into the cold hard truth.
What's left of you now is hopeless and dim.
Daddy,will you ever find your peace with Him.
It's so baffling when you smoke your crack.
Each time you leave I wonder if your coming back.


Details | Rhyme | |

What you are made up to be

foolish within that shows through the skin, you're hopeless but hoping for the worst for me. I don't care for you, and never will. You will see when you burn in hell, in the future near you'll see that I wasn't the one wrong, so don't try to be sincere. You think it's all about you, when the truth is no one wants anything to do with you. You've already over thought it all, and now you're all alone starring at the wall. I bet you realize now that the pain you feel you caused yourself. Within in all, comes the suffering of withdraw. All the pills that you've swallowed won't save your sorrow.


Details | Rhyme | |

No ones to blame, that your soul is put to shame

I don't understand, how i'm blame to be the biggest sin the world can see. you're little tall tails, you try and make the people believe are all hopeless, just like the heart inside of you beats. i'm breathing like i always do, i'm not gonna miss a single breath over you. when you're the one, that's suppose to be here for me, even when death captures the life of me. sadly, you're mistaken, for the life you've overtaken. the life of a drugged out temptresses is not a life to lead, thats why you aren't my example of the future to me. i don't want to be the one that is always the one to plead, for money, for sex, for looks, oh you're something i've learned to not be from those certain books. you weren't there for me to write, when you were suppose to be, the introduction author about the life of me. the life of me, how interesting can that be? well, i must say, you helped me be able to write about a girl who has been terribly betrayed. where's my mother, the one whose suppose to be like none other? you gave me no one, but myself to look up too.


Details | Italian Sonnet | |

misty dawn

sweetest heart
forever loved
death can not tear us apart 
guiding wind
unsung songs
forever kind
in my heart you 
you will always
    belong
i miss you everyday
without you my 
world is blue
i love you true
my  precious child


Details | Bio | |

A Better Tomorrow

Since we were young hes always been the one the families all seen it hes ur favorite son he can go to rehab and get in trouble to he can do what he wants but thats okay with you im sorry im not his daughter im sorry you hate me so much im sorry im not perfect i rather not keep in touch although u may deny it deep down you know its true everyone else sees it why can't you see it to i didn't mean to take advantage im depressed all the time although you may not see it faking a smile is my crime of all the *****i've been thru and all the *****you have done i thought that you would be there but no your there for your son if i could have a wish him i would come from cause maybe then you would love me and i wouldn't feel so dumb you may read this note and you probably will get mad but now you know my pain and you would know my heart is sad all i wanted was for your love and your blessing to but theres not enough room for me cause hes your favorite son its true so im erasing you from my life im going to try to move on cause this pain i feel is real and i just want it gone so farewell to you mother i hope you have a great life i hope your man is the one maybe you'll be his wife but your just a distant memory a shadow from the past was it all worth it the hatred spell you cast although i shed my tears i wipe them away with sorrow maybe i'll be someones favorite i hope for a better tomorrow


Details | Free verse | |

Sharp Objects

Open your eyes
It's time to pay attention
Take a good look at your life
And it's deteriorating condition

No one can run indefinitely
Your soul will succumb to exhaustion
All that you fear, you must confront eventually
Escaping reality forever is not possible

I know you don't want to lose everything
And you haven't any time to waste
You're not the only one who's suffering
Just how long do you think she can wait

You gave up your right to self-indulgence
When you made the choice to give life to another
There's no excuse for such indolence
Now that you have become somebody's mother

As you inject away her future
I hope you feel more than just a little shame
If you don't stop you are going to lose her
This is her life that you're laying to waste


Details | Rhyme | |

No Color or Relgion, Ever Stopped a Bullet from a Gun

I heard on the news
Another two are lost
That makes 206
Is there, a whatever the cost
 
We are there to assist
A country so reft
Inner fighting
To help the rest of the left
 
Guerrilla warfare
Tactically strong
Thousands of miles
Where we don't belong
 
The people we vote in
Would they go in their place
To show their people
Dying is no disgrace
 
I will never allow
My children to fight
A war so improper
A conflict not right
 
To show our presence
As we parade their land
A remote explosion
Blown up on demand
 
How can we serve
A regime so unfair
They can starve their women
Because he can't have her there
 
To fight for their freedom
As they fight themselves
The decision should be made
To save ourselves
 
The Russians failed
So now we try
Coalition troops
In daily die
 
The modern wars
Will always be run
No color or religion
Ever stopped a bullet from a gun



http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war.php


Details | Rhyme | |

A YOUNG LIFE TAKEN

Ruth wasn't more than seventeen,
the cutest girl I had ever seen;
a drunk driver collided head-on
with a Buick Regal at an excessive speed.
That intoxicated man had smoked weed...
he once was a clean, responsible son.


Yesterday her mom was so proud of a boy so mannered and tame,
today she's gotten a share of the horrendous shame;
he's not aware of the horrifying crash, he continues to laugh;
while in the passenger's seat of the other car Ruth bleeds to death. 


The nearest hospital' ambulance comes within five minute's time,
the car radio is still playing that song with perfect rhyme;
Ruth's face is covered with blood and pieces of glass,
and her mom tries to wipe them off with a towel as white as her dress.
She hopes that those paramedics would save her,
but she has no pulse,...how heart-wrenching is Ruth's mother despair!


Why did he drink irresponsibly, get behind the wheel and enter the opposite lane? 
Didn't he know that a car is a weapon that often takes the life of an innocent person? 
" So sorry for my son's negligence and impairment, I will share your deep pain."
Will's mom apologizes in an attempt to comfort her while sunlight brings on the dawn.


Details | Free verse | |

life as a flea market.

everything has a price.
you like that vase?
for you, $10.
the lamp over there?
you have a good eye, lets work through some numbers.
a daughters heart?
talk to her father,
he'll give you a good price
on damaged merchandise.


Details | Free verse | |

Silence

After millions of seconds,
every second seeming,
much longer than the other.
All we wanted was good news, 
all we wanted was you...

 A night with little excitement 
only listening to the music, 
and watching stars make lame jokes,
 my sister and I heard a ring,
only faint cause the phone was outside.

Praying that everything was all right
we only wanted you safe,
we hear a sob from my mom.
As the moment my life fell apart
the good news never came.
 
You ran,
you jumped,
you swam, 
you quit.
Why?
I don't understand.

We still haven't stopped asking questions,
Why you? Why us? Why then?
Those questions will never be answered.
It's been almost five years
Why?!

When you left you took a part of us with you,
My mom says hello, 
Can you say hello to Ashley for me? 
I hope you take her camping, and watch the stars at in the sky.
I hope everything's alright.

I know your dad came to join you,
Does it make you happy when people join you,
maybe that's what was going through my sisters mind,
maybe we all miss you more than you'd expect

Ever since you've been gone,
there has been a silence,
never questioned cause we don't want to face the truth
I wonder if you had more time if you wouldn't have done it,
do you regret it, or do you like the silence in the clouds.

We will never understand why you ran.
Life hasn't been the same since,
it's gone done hill from there,
you will always be in my thoughts.


Details | Rhyme | |

secrets

i may not be a mahammod ali but my words will float like a butterfly and sting like 
a bee
now there was this baby girl who was so unaware and didnt understand why 
daddy used to run his fingers through her hair and lay next to her while tuggin at 
her underwear See mommy never knew what was going on because sixteen 
hours out of a twenty four day mommy was gone and know it is two days before 
her daughters tenth birthday baby girl is dreedin it like its about to be her worse 
day daddy touchin her in inapproriate places was the first phase suddenly her 
mother realizing her daughter is always in a daze
happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear alexis happy 
birthday to you
as i close my eyes and begin to make my wish
dear lord please dont let daddy ask me for another kiss
visions of the past came into my mind daddy touching me down there until my 
vagina bleeds puttin his body parts on mine tellin me its okay no daddy! it is not 
okay you have made me into the monster that stands before you today good night 
alexis i hope you enjoyed yo birthday her mother calls i have to go to work i will 
see you tomorrow be good for daddy i love you good bye no mommy please dont 
leave me here aline alexis began to cry. whats wrong baby girl are you having a 
bad day no mommy scary and bad things happen to me when you go away her 
mother chuckled and gave her a kiss on her forhead goodbye and left her 
daughter in the care of her husband as a tear fell from her daughters eye as the 
front door closes the bathroom door opens and there in her doorway appears a 
figure not a father figure but a figure of her father with a grin on his face and his 
dick in his hand telling his only baby girl his is going to make her a real wo-man! 
but daddy its my birthday and im--im ready to go to bed hush your mouth baby girl 
and give daddy some head well you know how that story go 
six years later cant even walk the halls of her high school without being called a 
hoe. people look at her but people dont see her people hear her but people dont 
listen to her well listen to this she is not a garden tool you cannot used her and 
abuse her like some kind of fool.
then throw her in the corner when you are done and expect to pull her out again 
when your ready to have fun 
the moral of this story is to stop look and listen but her mother never did that 
now she must stop look and position flowers on her daughters grave because 
yesterday ladys and gentlemen alexis died of AIDS


Details | Verse | |

The Daughter

Today I lived my life with ghosts
Both living and dead
Your face, their face
Slipped through my fingers and fell to the floor
Hundreds of pictures of you and them
Hundreds of moments and moments and moments
Too numerous and caught in that web of time
Dangled on a cobweb so thin, so fine
It could break but does not snap
And lasts and lasts
And holds and holds
All there, suspended in that instant
Before falling to the floor,
Or in the box of memories. To be kept.

So where do you reside, in the bin or the box?
Where do you live for future’s worth?
Will you be cut adrift or salvaged in those stepping stones to the past.

And yet, she still picked up those photos of you 
Pained and dulled
Still confused and stabbed by what has happened over time.
She saw your face and paused. Reflected.
She then gently collected up those images of you and me
And saved them in the box
One day for all to see in times to come.
She decided not to put you in the bin.
Unlike me.

She rescued her childhood.
Put down a marker in the sand
And said stop to the sea
To the waves and waves
That break over time and pain
Saved you from the blankless pile of Venice and Florence
And Christmas and beaches and Barbies and laughter
And with a simple dignity 
She gave you back some worth.




Details | I do not know? | |

E-Mail To Daddy

Hello Daddy.....
Yes..... it's your little girl.
It's so hard..... to say these things,
So I thought..... I'd send this e-mail.

If I ran away from home..... would you care?
If I used drugs..... would you be there?
My life went to hell..... when Mom died.
You said you'd be there..... but you lied.

I feel like a homeless child..... on the street.
Why do i have to beg..... at your feet?
You're my Daddy..... and I do need you.
I thought..... that you needed me too.

So daddy..... could you spend some time with me?
Your new girlfriend..... just doesn't see.
That your little girl..... is hurting deep inside.
She is nice..... and yes Daddy I tried.

But Daddy..... I hunger for your love.
And the pressure of all my friends..... is so hard
They steal..... and do lots of drugs.
And i'm afraid i'll do them tomorrow..... in the schoolyard.

Daddy it's hard to tell you things..... I could tell Mom.
But I was raped..... by your friend Don.
He said to never tell you..... but I'm not ready.
Daddy..... I'm going to have his baby.

Oh, Daddy..... I hope you know what to do.
Because..... I really do love you

Your Little Girl



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote this about neglect and abuse.


Details | Rhyme | |

Rwanda Wrongs

In 1957, there existed a plan
To rid Rwanda of the Tutsi clan
Power they had, too much for one side
The foundation for, future Genocide
 
1960, the monarchy was gone
Will both sides sing the same song
Sadly not as the persecutions start
Ripping this African country apart
 
1973, under a new regime
Juvénal Habyarimana promised restrain
Progress and reconciliation proposed to be
For this country to unite, finally
 
1994, Habyarimana gunned down
His assassination, country drowns
This killing of him, the carnage starts
Population half, ripped apart
 
The killings horrific, no one spared
Machete slain, heads caved
Hacking, be-headings as families fall
As CNN tune in, the world appalled
 
The continuance, of the slaughtered tribes
Men, women and children you can't describe
Women raped, and the unborn slain
This horrific act of human pain
 
Most of the fallen, in their own villages dead
By another clan, they thought were friends
Indescribable to the world as our televisions show
The massacre of innocents, as we watch blow by blow
 
Where does it all end, can we try the same songs
How many more of these Rwanda wrongs
It appears to be a human trait
To kill each other for the sake of it


Details | Rhyme | |

Daddy, Daddy

Daddy just try and pretend you care,
Daddy, where are you? I need you, I'm scared.
Daddy, please save me from these demons inside
The ones that are destroying me and eating me alive.
Daddy, do you love me? I can't see it in your eyes.
Daddy, I need you when all I want is to die.
Daddy, all I want is for you to hug me and say it's okay,
Daddy I know that's something you'll never say,
because Daddy, I'm not perfect but all I can do
Is try not to be a failure, just good enough for you.


Details | Lyric | |

The Day The Angels Came

I see her image sitting over there, all alone
Streaming tears running down her cheeks, on her face
Her soft little whimpering voice, a babies tone
I remember when she said c'mon daddy, let's have a race
It was her first time that she played, in the yard outside
I still recall her great big smile, on her tiny face
And the tears that ran down her cheek, when she cried
Because she tore her brand new dress, with the pink lace

She always was my little Angel, my only child
But I still cry when I remember, how mommy died giving birth
But those pains somehow went away, when my baby smiled
Oh how it was so cute that day, she caught a fish
It was only three inches long, but to her it was just something sticky
And how she loved taking flowers, to her Mommy's grave
She always made me smile and laugh, when she said daddy
Mommy's stone needs some paint, that it's old and gray

Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came
And how they took my baby girl, along home with them
Oh how the stars did shine that night, up in the sky
And how the day was dark, when we buried her
Now all I have are memories, of her smiling face
In the photograph hanging on the wall, and beside my bed
Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came
And when they took my baby girl, home with them

My heart did break that dreadful day, by a truck
As she ran out to get her ball, into the street
And when I picked her up she hugged my neck, where she was struck
I held her so tight to me, rapped in a sheet
She said daddy it'll be o.k., as I wiped blood from her feet
She said mommy says we'll be waiting, with God in heaven
I'll never forget how my heart was broke, there in the street
That day I lost my pride and joy, to some drunken men

Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came
And how they took my baby girl, along home with them
Oh how the stars did shine that night, up in the sky
And how the day was dark, when we buried her
Now all I have are memories, of her smiling face
In the photograph hanging on the wall, and beside my bed
Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came
And when they took my baby girl, home with them

Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came
And how they took my baby girl, along home with them
Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came
And when they took my baby girl, home with them

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Is a sad song, Not a true story


Details | Free verse | |

Merry Christmas, Dad

Merry Christmas, Dad
     by Amy Swanson   


Dad,

    I always think of you
           every day...
              but holidays like this

can make it a little harder.

I hear the Christmas songs of cheer
     see the lights up in the square
           the busy murmurs of people
               shopping for their loved ones...

It seems almost perfect.

The tree, the lights,
      the gifts,
          the songs and plays
              joyful vacation days;

but something's missing.

The voice that rang throughout the house
      Christmas season
            singing triumphantly, beautifullly
                  "O Holy Night"

I still can't listen to that song
    without hearing
         your strong voice
               in my ears.

The hands that wiped my tears,
     wrapped my Christmas presents
           made his special "banana pudding recipe"
                left me letters from Santa.

Oh dad... how I miss you.

I know they say time heals
      and life goes on
          and all those other wonderful cliches
                 that people always tell you

simply because they don't know what else to say.


I will never forget you - my hero, my protector.

I speak of you often
    to my own little girl
         want her to know
              the grandpa she can't meet yet...

the grandpa who would love her so.

Dad, you are always in our hearts and minds,
     I never got to say thank you...
         for everything.
              for helping me to be

the woman I am today.

I look at my reflection in the mirror - I can also see you.
   I sing my songs - and I can also hear you.
       I laugh... and sometimes I can hear your laughter too.
           My daughter smiles at me... and you are in her smile.

I wish that you could know how much
     you've always meant to me
         and all the things that you have done
              to shape my life, so positively...

But all that I can say,
        is this:

Merry Christmas, Dad.

I love you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Burden

I want to say
I'm sorry
I've been such a load to bear.
Such a disappointment.
So much pain you've had to share.
You always gave me all 
your trust
and I break it every time.
I've dragged you up a mountain 
oh so difficult to climb
You have so much 
upon your plate
and yet I force on more.
With all my tricks and all my lies
I act like such a whore.
And yet you always 
love me more
You must have angel wings.
But without fail, I just can't stop.
Doing all these things.
Oh, how I wish
I had that hope.
Of an eternity with you.
But I've been to much of a burden.
And my hours left are few.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Drink

One thing led to another,the drinks went down like water,
The memories started fading into the past.
One night went to two then three,I spent many a dollar,
I knew I couldn't last.
The memories would come back of my ever so faded daughter,
And the night of that fiery crash.
I could picture the flames going higher and higher,
And the sound of the deafening blast.
Till one day the drinks didn't go down like water,
And the memories came back from the past.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Fly Away

Our lives changed forever
His filthy ways obscene
Come back to visit
She's
different to me

Naivety is key
I Took the
chance moved away
the child 
he took from me 

Ever feel So Helpless 
you felt 
you had to say
it's
all right
you've done your sin
NOW....let us fly away


Details | I do not know? | |

song

Shush baby 
Don’t you cry
That’s a generic lullaby

I wanna do something more
I wanna help you spread your wings and soar

C: So shush baby
Don’t you cry
I’ll find you a lullaby
Shush baby
Go back to sleep
At least pretend to count sheep

I love you
And we’ll make it through
Don’t you test me baby it’s true

I know he’s not here
Because he’s queer
But we’ll get through somehow

You don’t need a dad and I don’t need a man
To survive

-C-

At the end of the day
He wouldn’t care anyway
You need to accept the fact
That he’s never coming back

I’ll make the money
I’ll be your one true dad

You don’t need him to hug you when you’re sad
I can do it all

-C- (x2)


Details | Free verse | |

Father

I used to wonder

What you sounded like

What you looked like

Why you weren’t here

For so long, 

I thought my punishment from God for all the wrong I was GONNA do, was your absence.

I wondered if I were simply a mistake of two teenagers who didn’t know their head from 
their a$$es.

I used to ask about you, a lot.

I was either sent outside to play or given a look that told me I shouldn’t even be asking.

So I stopped and simply accepted what I had

And I always had plenty,

Even when I was too ungrateful to realize it.

I let thoughts of you go 

During what I call ‘The Dark Years’

The years when I’d hardened my heart and my mind

The years when I felt like my life was founded on rejection and pain

The years when I didn’t care about much of anything, including myself

My teens and early twenties weren’t much fun at all.

Then something happened

I became a mother

The father proved that he wasn’t ready to be a father

I entered the real world

I got a better understanding of what you and Mommy just have faced

A better understanding of the responsibility it brings

Over the years

I’ve matured

I’ve gotten smarter

I’ve grown into a woman

And my mind came back to you

I started again to wonder

What you looked like

What you sounded like

If you thought of me, like I was thinking of you

My wonderment got the best of me and I replaced it with a need to know

To know

If you were still alive

If you lived close or far

If you were a fine, upstanding person

Or some cracked out drunken loser

Not that any of it really mattered

I just needed to know

So I began my search

For answers

For closure

For my father.

Each leg of my search brought me new revelations.

You were still alive

You were married

You had other children

And finally

An exact location

It took courage I didn’t have even know I had to send that letter

It took even more to answer that first phone call 

Stomach flipping

Heart pumping

With a simple “hello”

A door opened

To my past

To my future 

To the unanswered parts of me

To my father

Now that I’m here

I don’t regret a moment lost

I know that time cannot be replaced

But a new, improved future can be made.

And with you, my father

I’m looking forward to it.


Details | I do not know? | |

Sweet Angel

Outside in the midst of darkness
I can best speculate 
the vast blanket of sky
studded with bright twinkling stars.

Heaven I call thee
thou art bereft of all woes , agonies.

Lead my sight to our Sweet Angel's light
where dwells only joys, happiness, 
eternal peace and delight.

There anguish never pervades
nor pleasure fades.

Hovering around all the twinkling stars,
our Sweet Angel takes delight
in her happy home.

Cast a glance at the heavenly abode,
and behold our Sweet Angel
showering her divine blessings upon us.


Details | Free verse | |

Unloved

One more sad word and a tear would roll, 
One more sad story and the whole world, 
Would collapse on its own weight upon the shoulder
Of one with neither sister nor brother; 
Raised to stand strong, to stand alone, 
 —but never to live lonely.
Deserving of love and not any less
Yet loved lesser than those who deserved less; 
Attending to the needs of whose attention is needed: 

The orphan with parents.


Details | I do not know? | |

Undefined

Starting from scratch has never felt so Good
I’ve been from the Burbs and now my life’s the Hood
Blessed needless to say- this journey has been one for the Record
I’ve been pushed/ pulled/ torn but not Broken
Im taking lifes trials and tribulations as a Golden Token
I’ll allow the things I go through in life to make me Better
If that means I have to go through the storm to get to pleasant Weather
I’ve learned to let go which is the hardest thing I’ve had to Do
But I owe my life to God,  not the family or even to You
I am a woman with newly discovered Worth
This journey I’ve taken has been filled with so much Hope
The light of Life is now burning so Bright
Took a lifetime of trials for me to get it Right
Now I have God on my side and my Strength is Greater


Details | Rhyme | |

TAKEN

She struggled pushing her child
To reach the park up on the hill
Stretching out a blanket well her little girl sits very still
Remembering when it was her daughter she would watch playing
Now as they sit under that tree that's where she does her praying
It doesnt seem that long ago but everyday she remembers 
Every child's cry brings her back to last September
Its always a child's joy to run and chase a ball 
But that's when she herd the screech of breaks and herd the neighbours call
There in the street was her daughter laying on her back 
Behind the wheel and intoxicated there the driver sat
He wasn't hurt didn't hit him till the next day 
Now he lives with it and each night he prays 
Mom takes care of her daughter helps her in to her wheelchair 
But with every kiss upon her child's head she thinks how life is so unfair
Thinking does it really mean nothing to a person when they can drink and drive
Than looking down at her daughter she just thanks god shes alive





Details | Elegy | |

Lost Angel

My lost little angel
That never had a chance,
To hop, skip, or jump,
And make my life a mess.

My lost little angel,
I’ll never get to hold,
She was gone in a flash
Before anyone could know.

With hair so curly and black,
And skin so soft and smooth,
My heart will always ache,
For my little angel that never could.

All alone in my house
With nowhere to run,
The heartache and pain
Overwhelm me again.

With heart-wrenching sobs
And great cries of “Why?”
I mourn the great loss
Of my angel that died.

Surrounded by my grief
And the home she’ll never have,
I can’t help but wonder
Why God changed his mind.

My lost little angel,
Still, so precious to me,
My little Elaina Diane,
You’ll forever be.


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear Mommy

Mommy I love you,
Why don’t you love me.
Mommy I'm sorry,
Sorry that in me it's him you see.

Mommy I love you,
Why can't you kiss me goodnight.
Mommy I hate it,
Hate that you can't stand me in your sight.

Mommy I love you,
Why do you beat me black and blue.
Mommy I'm sorry,
Sorry for what daddy did to you.

Mommy I love you,
Why is it from me you wish to escape.
Mommy I'm sorry,
Sorry I am your child of rape.

Mommy I love you,
You are all I have and all I need.
Mommy I'm scared,
Scared how at eased you are when I bleed.

Mommy I love you,
Why did you take my life with no mercy or love.
Mommy I forgive you,
And now I will love and watch over you from above.


Details | Rhyme | |

Ice Cold Hands

The only way to avenge her ghosts
Was to become a ghost herself
Forever haunts her own lonely heart
That she left on her bedroom shelf

Their emotions in a tangle
The room began to swirl
She was mummys perfect angel
And daddys little girl

Scared of failure she lost it all
The fire in her eyes was out
The will to live she failed to grasp
Her bloodless veins in drought

Now in the solitary churchyard
The lonely gravestone stands
A little girl lies far below
Two ice cold grasping hands


Details | Free verse | |

The Outcast-

Long blonde hair
A pageant queen beauty 
On stage she smiles
Yet-
Inside, she's brooding.

Girl in the hallway
Glasses an inch thick
Smart as Einstein
But-
Lacking true spirit.

Young woman there
Hair black as night
Nails used for earrings
Still-
No one would ever know 
she cries, every night.

Little miss popular,
Big breasts, perfect skin
Who gets all the guys
Never letting on that 
She isn't that happy 
And-
She tells them all lies.

Rich little daddy's girl
Drives up in the Benz
No one knows she sits 
Lonely on holidays
With no food and no gifts
Just the maid and some gin.

Labels we see... never
Looking beyond.
We place them on each
We laugh, we torture,
Then.....
we turn the other cheek.

It doesn't really matter
if you are rich or you're poor
The loneliness, it isn't picky
Or discriminate
Because of our decor.

We are all the same inside
Girl afraid, woman trying.

Hearts beating heavily
While our souls
continue crying.

I just wish one day

We all could just 
Stop.
Stop the hurting.

So my advice is simply this:

If you see someone you think,
Looks like an outcast to you
Please remember to give a smile
Because one day that girl.....

{On the stage, in the corner
With the glasses, or the fancy ride
Black nails, heartbreaker or the liar}





Could be you.





Wouldn't you want someone to

See the outcast girl too?





-This was inspired by my teen daughter who at the moment, feels
like the outcast-


Details | I do not know? | |

HOW TO KILL A MONSTER

When the monster has arrived home from it daily place of employment, 
You simply wait for it to settle into its old worn-out chair.

Then the monster asks for the chilled glass sitting in the refrigerator.

You remove the chilled glass from the refrigerator.

You place the chilled glass on the kitchen counter.

You add a few pieces of ice into the chilled glass.

You finally add half a bottle’s amount of Apricot Brandy 
and watch the monster takes its first nightly sip.

You repeat this process Every Two to Three Hours.

You repeat this process Hour by Hour.

You repeat this process Day after Day.

You repeat this process Week after Week.

You repeat this never ending process Year after Year.

And You Repeat this Process for Fifteen And Counting.

And You Wait for the Shut-Down of the Monster’s Liver.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mom Doesn't Listen To Me

as I explore the depths of 
my inner being there's a few 
things that I have not 
been hearing or seeing

like my little girl's voice 
wispering thru the night
come hold me close mama 
for I feel such fright

or why can't you get out of bed 
your eyes look swollen and 
looks awful garsh darn red

and like why cant you come
to my school I 'm just trying
to make you proud of what I 
can accomplish too

also why do I have to go live 
with my dad when you had me
weren't you feeling nothing but glad

for eleven years I had to live
with these inner fears of not being able
to be a fulltime mother to my little girl
who I love so dear and cannot everyday hear

so to this day I will continue 
to fight and pray that the
heavens beams of rays
will let me enjoy my 
beautiful angel again one day
and thats what I need to say





I Have been stricken with an ungodly illness for 25 yrs
that prevents me from being a fulltime mother 
to my Jenny Rose the sickness has to do with
severe migrains to stomach there is no cure 
only injections to try to abort spells then I lay 
in a dorment state for up to 9 hours
it ruined my life literly



Also this is entry for Kristin Renyold's 
what you need to hear contest


Details | I do not know? | |

Such A Little Girl With A Huge Heart Ache

I know a girl she speaks within me 
She's smart and funny sometimes friendly 
She has her ups and her downs 
Just tired of people here thats never around 
What she seeks is some support 
She speaks of hard times that shes fought 
Her anger is over powering 
She starts lacking as a friend 
So bitter she grow cold 
Suffering but nobody knows 
Trouble seeks within her head 
Bad thoughts and so  much regrets 
A long time of pain is in effect 
Thats when she loses all signs of respect 
Looks down on herself 
No longer searching for help 
She smiles these fake smiles 
And continues to ignore the pain for a while 
The girl life has changed to the bad 
She grew more bitter and very sad 
Now she a waits the truth 
And keeps dreaming that this pain will end soon. 


Details | Free verse | |

The Wind

That was me, dancing on a moonbeam
in the dark, after the street lights
had gone on.  My mamma kept
calling and calling from the house
but my daddy came outside,
and danced on a moonbeam,
too.  We were together

like that, in ways she couldn't be.
How lonely she must have been,
how angry she looked to us,
hollering from behind the screen,
"Daniel, bring that kid in the house!"
Then my daddy tired of trying
to persuade her to join us outside,
swept me up like a feather
on the wind for a moment,
and we were together
like feather and wind.

That was me, dancing on a moonbeam.
I've lost that rhythm, that absolute faith
that all things in the imagination are possible.
My parents divorced when I was thirteen.
My dad died a lonely, broken man.
My mother died a bitter, broken woman.
I wonder what my father thought he was
when I thought he was the wind?


Details | Free verse | |

Jenny Said

Jenny said
RIght or wrong, true or false
So many childlike games to play 
Love me he did, rob me he did
Girl one minute, woman the next 
Do I really need to forgive?

Jenny said 
Time is supposed to
Heal my wounds, they tell me
Time will make me better
But, so long, and my wounds are still here 
Will I ever stop hurting to feel better?

Jenny said
I know my life is wrong
I know my ways can be better
I know many things that need fixing
But all I want is some loving
Can anyone love me and be accepting?

Jenny said
As he hits me, again
And tries to break me
I let my mind wander
Knowing life can be better
When will it be enough?

Jenny said
I want to leave him
I want to be away
But he loves me, you see
Maybe this is the love I deserve
Or is there really something better?

Jenny said
One day, I'll find a love 
That is so great 
That is so accepting 
And loves me for who I am
Why can't I find this love today?

Jenny said 
I am so damaged, beyond words
I am so broken, beyond repair
There are so many pieces of me 
There is no peace within me
How can you love me?

Jenny said 
There is no such thing as love
Love happens to other people
People who have love to give
Why do you love me
When I have none to give?


Details | I do not know? | |

Imagine A World

Imagine a world
Where the words you hear
Make you stop
And fight back a tear

Imagine a world
Where a Dad has to face
The pain and suffering
Which he cannot erase

Imagine a world
Where a Dad loves his girl
To him she is always
A most beautiful pearl

Imagine a world
Where a Dad he must try
To always be strong 
Never to cry

Imagine a world
Where a Dad has to pray
For his beautiful girl
To turn out okay

Imagine a world
Where a Dad rarely hears
Wished for words
To help ease his fears


Imagine a world
Where a Dad so full of love
Was surely sent
from up above

Imagine a world
Where a Dad could be free
To know all the joys
Having a daughter should be


Details | Free verse | |

Daddy Mike

Daddy Mike,
What were you like?
You were gone 
when I was a very tiny tike.
 
Daddy Mike,
Was it because of me? 
Was leaving me all you could see?
Surely, you knew how much pain there would be.
A little girl needs her daddy.
 
Daddy Mike,
From abuse and pain
I shed many a tear.
Without you here,
I always felt fear.
 
Daddy Mike,
Abusive babysitter, playmate,
bullies, and family.
Nowhere for me 
to flee.
 
Daddy Mike,
Why were you 
not here?


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Divine Intervention

Beautiful little girl
Devastatingly beautiful
The birds would start chirping when she walked past
Her mother’s daughter they all said
A mirror image
 
And suddenly she was shocked by love
5 years old being undressed like a doll
Caressed and bathed so lovingly
Such gentle touches
That no one suspected
 
Mother found a new piece to her heart
Wedding bells chimed
And a new father was born
5 years old she was…just 5
 
This beautiful little girl found love in her “new” father’s arms
He held her close, sometimes too close
But no one suspected
She didn’t know this love was pain wearing a mask
She learned that love was…
Shielded from the eyes of her mother
Night visits to her room from her father
Year after year
For 15 years this was the love she knew
 
She felt invaded, alone and abused
She told her mother
About her new father…the man her mother loved
She didn’t acknowledge, wouldn’t bring herself to see
What the water so clearly replayed in her view
The mother knew, just knew
That her husband would, couldn’t ever
Never…bring pain to his daughter, never
 
Little girl, what does it feel like to be loved?
It feels warm, and wrong but gentle
Strong hands unclothing you
Caressing your body as if you are a grown woman
With a glorified body to worshipped and pillaged over
Little girl, what does pain feel like?
Closed doors…darkness…my father…naked
Hopeless
 
Beautiful little girl
Devastatingly beautiful
Pain paraded as love
Molestation masked for discipline
When your daughter cries out
When she cowers in corners
And doesn’t trust the dark
When she says love is just another word
Just another synonym to let him abuse her
Trust what she has to say…
 
I was that beautiful little girl and now I am a woman plagued with fears
Some nightmares you cannot outrun
And some memories only God can wipe away
The blood of all my pain is on my mother’s hands
"I forgive you"
Beautiful they say…
It’s a mask for something more


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear, Mother

You were the one that I called to when I was feeling blue or just when I needed you
You were the one to raise me who showed me how to be a lady
You tried to show me who was flaw and who would stay
But when I needed you the most, your gone and are no longer my host
I lost my best friend I also called my mother
Please god watch over me and my little brother
Now I just take a breath and look at the clouds because I know shes always looking down
Watching you staying true and doing you
But I cant help it every now and then I get blue
But you would want me to be happy, so this life I live is all for you


Details | Senryu | |

We Will Remember Them

Dying for Freedom
American and British soldiers
Will be remembered

 

" Dedicated to the losses our countries are taking to fight for our freedom "
                                 Haiku or Senryu matters not


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war3.php


Details | I do not know? | |

You Never Deserved Me

To the person who gave me life, nothing less, nothing more

As a child I remember being filthy and left isolated, all alone
Left at the age of seven, not knowing if you’d ever come home

Caring all alone for baby sister, while you ran endlessly all about
Feeding, bathing and taking care of her, listening to her constant shouts

Your commitment was your drugs; let’s not forget the alcohol too
Stammering in all times of the night; an addictive abusive person I 
watched you grow into

Looking back I never thought that this life was not extraordinaire
But as I matured and saw the norm; 
I realized my life was nothing but despair

Never caring for either of us, just your greedy selfish self
Shooting your heroin and drinking your booze,
Which sat upon your shelf

Taking all our money, spending it on your addictions day and night
Living off ramen noodles, our survival was an endless fight

After years of suffering from your abuse and your manipulating lies
They finally saw your negligence, taking us away ending all ties

Now we’re with our father, and his new beautiful stranger bride
Trust we cannot give to her, for all we’ve ever known has died

Time it did not take for us, to open up and see
That the new beautiful woman bound to care for us, 
Was as genuine as one could be

She opened her home and her heart and treated us as her own
She opened our eyes and broke the hard outer wall,
Never do we feel alone

She has given me more love in the past four years
Than you have your entire life-time on this earth,
It’s sad that a woman of only four years, 
was the one who taught me self-worth 

You are the woman you gave me life, 
Nothing more and nothing less
You never deserved me or my little sister
Our mom now has replaced your selfishness 

© Chelsea Leigh Stiles/Stacy Lynn Stiles

These are my daugther Chelsea's words about her biological mother. I took 
them and helped her write the poem at her request. It's very sad and the damage 
her "biological mother" has done to her and her sister is un-repairable....Chelsea 
has had to be in counseling every since we've had her and I have taught her to 
have a voice and if needed, put her thoughts down on paper.  She's absolutely 
beautiful and amazingly charismatic. She's strong and very responsible and 
dedicated...not only to our family, but to life. Both of them were "my gift from God", 
and I will cherish this gift forever.


Details | Free verse | |

A Phase For Now

Everyday you're in my thoughts;
Everynight you're in my dreams;
Everything I do reminds me of you;
Everyday I'm scared I'll forget;

Forget your smell;
Forget your smile;
Forget your laugh;
Forget your hugs and kisses;

Sometimes I feel dead or empty; 
Sometimes I would much rather die; 
Sometimes I hate God;
Sometimes I get so angry with you for leaving me so soon;

Then I realize things will get better and I'll want to live, not only live, but live 
spiritually again; I could never forget anything about you because you raised me 
up to be a beautiful young woman, and I know that one day I will make a 
wonderful mother and wife, because you have taught me so well...I love you 
daddy! 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Snowing, Snowing, Snowing

                 Snowing …
Soft and Beautiful almost Bitter-Cold Thing

A man watched her… from across the bar
Said:  “I had to come over… to where you are
… sitting there drinking… Kaluah and Cream
… looking like – someone’s un-awakened dream

Decided to catch her … ‘fore she got away
Then he asked her … what she had to say…
Now, she’s listened, but wasn’t too impressed
She just grouped him … with all the rest …

    … and said:  “I’m Snowing …
I’m Fragile… when I’m Falling …
My heart is frozen … kept on thaw-alert
I won’t let it melt … I don’t want to hurt
Don’t get too close, or you may get chilled
Don’t mean to be rude … that’s just how I feel…

               like Snowing …
Soft and beautiful, but Bitter-Cold thing “

Now, I’ve heard the fairy tale of a young boy and girl
Who got caught up … in an icy-world
But, I’m more saddened, by what I just seen …
What could have changed that woman into The Snow Queen?

                She’s Snowing …
Such a Soft beauty, but Bitter-Cold thing
She’s Snowing … Snowing … Snowing

Now, the man, politely touched her arm …
Got her to dance … held her close and warm …
The Heat of His Heart-beat, tho’ Strong … was only fleeting
He looked down into her eyes … they were sleeting …

                She was Snowing …
Soft and beautiful, but Bitter-Cold thing
She was Snowing … Snowing … Snowing

Maybe, he’ll see her again, this time, next year
… but … if you make her melt … She will disappear …

               ‘Cause She’s Snowing
Such a Soft and beautiful, Bitter-Cold thing
That girl is Snowing … Snowing … Snowing


Details | Light Poetry | |

Cloud-Cover

Cloud-Cover… On A Sunny Day
Got Me On This Hill… Looking-Up and Dreaming
Cloud-Cover… I Just Want To Lay
And Watch The Sunrays Gently Beaming…
… thru The Cloud-Cover… Cloud Cover

Cloud-Cover… Like A Gentle Lover
A Sweetheart, That’s Somewhere Far Away
Who, Sends A Message… To This Hillside Clover…
… and Me… Wishing Both, Could Stay…
… just Like Cloud-Cover… Cloud Cover

Oh, Let Our Lives, Be Like Close-Cloud-Cover
Gently Rolling By, Slowly, On The Breeze
Rise Up With Love, For One Another
And Ride The Wind.. ‘til We Are Free…
… Discover, Cloud-Cover… Cloud Cover

Cloud-Cover… Was A Sunny Day
… but I Hear Distant Thunder… On A Hill…
Cloud-Cover… I Have To Pray…
I’m Running Thru The Rain… ‘Cause I Feel A Chill…
… Don’t Let It Be My Cloud-Cover!... Not My Cloud-Cover!
…Nor My Son, Daughter, Mother, Father… Or My Brother…

Cloud Cover… Please… Cloud Cover…

   In Memory of Those Taken From Us...


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

Torture

God has created me,
To be a mate to my counterpart,
To be a helping hand in this uncommunicative world,
To be a soothing relief to him after exhaustion,
To be a part of distress and sorrow,
To tame him of his vindictive furrow,
To keep him cheerful forever.

But the world is so bizarre that,
No one sees the plight of hers,
The one who makes the life of
Her counterpart so smooth
So calm & so vivacious,
That every bit becomes precious,
But she is always in curses,
Sometimes cursed as daughter,
Sometimes beaten as wife,
Sometimes traded as prostitute,
Sometimes tortured as sister,
Or sometimes raped in a brutal way.

Torture is the truth of my life,
Atrocities are my fate,
But see my devotion and faith,
That I still remain a mate
After such savagely stage.

Off late I will try not to be at this state,
I am a source of new life to this earth,
I will regain all my energy 
To wipe out these heinous crime,
Convalesce the torture,
Revenge these contumely,
Erase this conundrum forever.


Details | Shape | |

Cry Out!

                                My nerves there bad
                                My temper is short
                                My frustration comes easy

Would it hurt for someone to do    one thing to please me? 
To please a heart that was broken   from a father who doesn't want her. 
Á father who doesn't notice her.   A father who doesn't say I love you. 

            He makes me wonder,   "Does he even want me?" Time spent with older 
brother, 
          all my time spent with    my mother, but even I make time for my brother. 
        I’m not alone because of   my mother, but what happened to the figure of a 
father.           

I am this mans only daughter. My     skin complexion he looks no farther.  
The attitudes and frustration cover    the fact this problem bothers me. 
My heart from a stabbed womb bleeds.   Why doesn't he want me?

      I’m his baby, I still make A's and      B's, this part of my life is so empty.
  Can anyone hear me, can you feel me.   Stretching and reaching out for me 
Daddy.
"Does he even want me?" A hug I ask I dare     to plead.  
      
                                My nerves    there bad
                                My temper      is short
                                My frustration    might come easy

       These parts of me I get from he! “Why     doesn’t my daddy want me?"
                                                      "Cry     Out!"


Details | I do not know? | |

a mother's storm

i hate the feeling that this force brings
dancing butterflies with spikes for wings
starting as a flutter on my stomach they're tapping
the closer it gets my ribs are now cracking
 
the clouds grow dark hurricane in sight
a brave mask takes what's left of my might
no longer able to hold the fledgling in my arms
no longer able to shelter from what harms
 
the storm leaves me but takes him along
yearning him to fly back where he belongs
falling speck of sand seems like a day
while wishing for eternal flowers of may
 
the sun pushing through blackened haze
the little bird weathered the menacing maze
shaken and bumped fortunately no lethal wrong
the child now calm by my his mother's song


Details | Rhyme | |

Don't Be Afraid

For several days her daughter would say
The angels said, "Don't be afraid"
Her mother simply dismissed it
Like it was a childhood game she played

But soon she started to worry
For the little girl kept telling this tale
She also said she talked to Jesus
And she described it in such detail

She told her mother that Jesus said
Tomorrow, He's taking her home
The little girl was only three years old
These things, she couldn't have known

Her mother was just a little concerned
For each day it was always the same
Was it just a little girl's imagination?
She was sure it was a childhood game

Well tomorrow came and all was fine
And her daughter never uttered a sound
So she fiiled up the pool, only eight inches deep
And that's where, her little girl drowned

Now, this story is true, every single word
For it happened to some friends of mine
This story took place many years ago
And their grief grew more distant in time

But I just couldn't imagine, the pain that they felt
As they remember what their daughter would say
The Angels would tell her, "Don't be afraid"
And that Jesus would take her away








Details | ABC | |

Fragile

Built of fine glass and porcelain 
Could anything keep them apart?
Detained by every single notion
Except for her broken heart

How could you hurt her so?


Details | Free verse | |

My Little Girl

I was in the kitchen when I got the call.
I had to hold onto something so I wouldn't fall.
My body unable to move and my heart pounding;
Every word resounding.

"Your daughter's been in a serious accident.
She might not make it.
I don't know what else to say....
Except that she needs a new heart...today."

I hung up the phone and started to cry.
Got down on my knees and looked up at the sky.
"Please let my daughter be okay,
I can't live without her, not one day."

My sister drove me to emergency,
She said I shouldn't drive.
I prayed for my daughter to still be alive,
And I begged God not to take her from me.

The doctor told me her heart was not strong,
And she would need another to help her along.
All we could do now was wait,
And leave everything else to fate.

I sat by her side and sang a song,
Said that for both of us, I would be strong.
I told her that I loved her with all my heart,
And that without her, I would surely fall apart.

After a while, I reached over and took her hand.
Said: "If you need to go, I'll understand."
These words, I barely could say,
But I knew that in God's hands she would be ok.

"I love you more than you'll ever know,
But if you really have to go,
Just remember that I love you,
And I'll always be thinking of you."

When I finished saying my goodbyes, 
My little girl finally opened her eyes.
She blinked and looked at me,
Whispered, "I love you Mommy."

Then she closed her eyes again,
And with her last breath,
Said: "I'll see you in Heaven."


Details | I do not know? | |

Turning The Pain On You

You don't know me at all 
Didn't help you watched me fall 
Do you know anything about me? 
Do you even know what I yearn to be 
How can you lie to people about my life 
Your just angry and tired of being a house wife 
I know that your ashamed of me 
Didn't want others to know I was attending GED 
Saying I had finished school 
Making me feel pain and look a fool 
I messed up because of you 
And everything you put me through 
Did you know I love books 
No you didn't you never bothered to look 
Said that I was a bad child 
Thats funny your my mom but never around 
How can I be the worst when I've done nothing 
Even with all that I continue hurting 
Calling me out my name 
How do you expect me to stay sane 
Taking his side as if he cares When he hurt you your kids were there 
The pain he put you through 
Now you act as if were the liars and his words are true 
You used to be so strong 
He made you weak and I'm telling  you your wrong 
You judged me now it's my turn 
I want you to fell the pain and burn 
We both know what he did to us 
But you push me away and him you trust 
Your family is very ungrateful 
Very bitter and hateful 
I just want you to open your eyes 
Yearn for you to break down and cry 
Tell me that you really need me 
Say your sorry for hurting me and free me 
Tell me you want to be hugged 
I want you to know what it feels like to crave for love 
As you do this trying to be free 
I'd know you  felt my kind of pain and misery. 
  Poetry  


Details | Bio | |

Lost Fight


To the man who was never there
There are moments that can never be relived 
Those are the moments that you’ll never remember 
My first day of school, my first crush, my first date, 
my first prom, and my high school graduation
All of these you’ve missed
And I will always remember that you did 
Tears were happy and sad
The fact that I am always your daughter 
But you have never taken the time to really be my dad
I’ve done everything but I cant anymore
I may be your daughter but
I wont fight for your time or you anymore
My tears are done, my anger finished 
Soon I’ll be married and my last name changed 
Its time that I relinquish and give up a long ago 
Lost Fight


Details | Free verse | |

Battlefield Love

A love that secures pain is worthless.
A love to which any pain is a part,
Will destroy so much of a life,
Life is too precious to struggle,
With installments of turmoil,
Destruction between two will end.
Torture of the soul comes from,
Battles with physical detriments,
Has no true love at all of any kind.
One cannot inflict passion with force.
One cannot love deeply in pain,
Once may be forgiven if possible,
Two or three are just reenactments,
In a tortured soul, that cannot love.
Fear may hold the victims in tow.
Fear should be strength to know,
That this will not stop ever.
Fear should guide the heart,
Strength should be bold enough,
Even loneliness is better than this.


Details | I do not know? | |

Cassie

Sitting here all alone 
thinking, just how much you've grown 
You're growing up, your almost two 
My joy the first time holding you 

There's an empty feeling in my heart 
because we are so far apart 
It was so hard to say goodbye 
I remember curls, and big brown eyes 

Lately I've been really sad 
Please don't forget that I'm your dad 
I'll never forget my favorite girl 
the greatest thing in this big world 

If I had one wish, it would surely be 
For you to come down and live with me 
I know it's what every dad would say 
But I know your mom would say "no way" 

If your mom and I could share 
I could show you Cassie how much I care 
Leaving you wasn't what I'd planned 
maybe someday, you'll understand 

I never missed anyone so much, not ever! 
You will be a part of me forever 
I'll come back, I just don't know when 
I just have to keep missing you, till then 

I'm starting to cry like running water 
I love and miss my precious daughter 
 




Details | I do not know? | |

I Hope Your Heart Breaks

I think your a very selfish man 
You don't care enough to understand 
Sit here tell people of their wrongs 
What the hell makes you think your strong 
As if you done nothing to hurt anyone 
Instead of being a man you would run 
Hurting people is something you do so well 
If it was up to me you'd burn in hell 
See I'm not OK or alright 
No don't sit there and say i just want to fight 
I'm dealing with things within me 
You just won't let me be 
Saying I'm no good because your angry 
Well your worthless and nasty 
Do you know what I think at night? 
Have you no idea what I fight? 
Well let me tell you how it goes 
It's time you should know 
I've been through hell and back 
You swear you know everything and you don't know jack 
I sit at night and cry 
Sometimes pray that I would die 
I feel like I lost my mind 
Finding myself is the most complicated thing to find 
Did you know I beat myself up? 
Guess you didn't cause you stuck up 
I don't have anything to help me out 
I would love to rip your heart out and watch you shout 
claming to be my father who wants the best for us 
Yet you slept around and broke our trust 
I got beaten for your mistakes 
Now I hope its your heart that breaks


Details | Bio | |

Craving for your love

As i sit here wondering what went wrong all i can do is dry the tears from my eyes. 
You brought me into this world as a mother should but somewhere down the line the mother and daughter bond was never to be found. 
I love you deep in my heart but you are not there when i need you the most. 
I try to please you but its never enough I love you your my mom but i never seem to do whats right. 
Everyday i wait to hear from you but our love seems so distance so far away. 
I call you ,you never return my call back.I miss you I really do, 
What ever became of the love between a mother and daughter?What have i missed all i can do is love you from a distance.


Details | Acrostic | |

Kelly My Daughter

Know that you have lost your mind,
Eyes so open, yet so blind,
Listen to your mother, dear,
Life will treat you rough, I fear.
You have chosen such a path,

Might you suffer Karmic wrath,
Yet you're blind to your own fate,

Don't you see your huge mistake?
Alas, my heartbreak is so strong,
Understand, I did you wrong,
God forgive me for this sin,
Hope is lost, the dread begins,
Try to understand your thinking,
Even though it's due to drinking,
Roses dying in my hand, lifetime shifting like the sand.


©Danielle White


Details | Narrative | |

Second rate beauty queen

When you look at her you wonder,
How can she think like that?
But when she looks at herself in the mirror,
All she sees is the fat.

She claims that she's too busy,
With friends, work, and school.
To sit down for a family meal,
But in reality she simply longs to be cool.

As days go by her body begins to wear and thin,
Her parents begin to wonder if it's too late.
To save their only daughter,
Who's still obsessed with her weight.

Knowing it was time, she left a note that said:
"To all those who were so mean,
And pressured me to be thin. You'll be happy to know,
I died as I lived: A second rate beauty queen.


Details | Haiku | |

The Doll

doll of porcelain, 
seemingly picture perfect,
she has several cracks.


Details | I do not know? | |

LITTLE GIRL IN A DESCISE

HER FACE IS TO INOCENT FOR SUCH A PLACE.
YET SHE TAKES UP THE SPACE.
SHE WISHES SHE COULD DISAPEAR WITHOUT A TRACE.
HER HEART IS SHATTERED
AND SOLE BATTERED.
HER DREAMS AS YOU LOOK AROUND ARE SCATTERED.
HER EYES SEE TRUE PAIN,
LOOKING UPON HER BODY THAT’S SLAIN.
WHEN SHE SPEAKS YOU CAN HEAR HER SHAME
AND YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
SHE JUMPS WHEN SHE HEARS HER NAME.
WHY HAS SHE CAME?
SHE IS PLAIN TO SEE LIVING IN FALLING RAIN.
THE BRUSES TELL WHO LOSES.
HOLDING TIGHT SHE REMEMBERS EVERY FIGHT.
FIRE AND RAGE, SHE LIVES IN CAGE.
A LITTLE GIRL IN A DESCISE BARRIED IN A PIT OF LIES.


Details | Free verse | |

i have something to say

hey, darling, so good to see you
the girl with you looks like sin....
compared to mom


during the day. 
sister sits at the
door waiting for you
each day


as for me,  if anyone 
asks me,
believe me
i would be quick to say........

whomever makes mama
sad will have to deal
with daughter some day.


Details | I do not know? | |

Smile Jenny, Smile

Unchosen paths,
yet for us to follow,
give us hope
to change our course of sorrow.

Fear of death,
or fear of living,
Either, or
Neither, nor
In any case, unforgiving.

Our Broken Dreams,
Our trail of friends,
Our forgotten fathers,
shape our pain.

But, future twists
and childrens' laughter,
no doubt,
like water,
will lift us once again.

Smile Jenny, Smile.
You know, you have that way
of touching someone,
at any time of any day,
and never knowing it all the while.


Details | Rhyme | |

You Can't Understand

You say you understand
That You were once a teenage girl
But you don't know how things have changed
They just arn't like before

I really hate to say this
But you just can't understand
What it's like to live my life
With no ones helping hand

You my have been a teenager
But I really have to say
Their are things that I have gone through
Things I can't explain

No one really knows
What it's like just being me
All the hurt and pain inside
Every thing that you don't see


Details | I do not know? | |

painful memories

You watch the tears fall from my eyes-
in yet, you don't take notice. 
You watch me scream for him-
but you still don't take notice. 
You slap me in my face,
as you tell me to shut up,
and you flaunt the desperation in you voice
while hearing my cries- 
all because of the choice you made.
I was just a little girl- not old enough to understand...
How could you deal with this the way you did, instead of lending a hand?
Each memory still painful, 
each bruise and scar is reminiscing with regret,
of all the things you had taught me, 
you had not taught me to forget...


Details | Rhyme | |

Jashaia Trinity Small-an angel know in heaven

Imagine if your child was terminally ill,
Do you think you could cope? 
Would you have the will?
Imagine if you knew that she would die.
Would you have the strength to say Good-bye?
Your other children they love her so,
How will you help them let her go?
New procedures, experimental test,
You would only want what was best?
This little girl so innocent and pure,
Would you wonder what God did this for?
You must believe his purpose is true,
There’s a reason for everything he puts us through.
Your feelings will change from day to day,
You may even feel you don’t want to pray.
She was given to you to cherish and love,
You’ll always have memories to smile of.
Embrace each moment every day,
Don’t let a memory sneak away.
Remember that God will be right there,
The pain in your heart he will share.


Details | Narrative | |

Outside

Cold window pane
Or prison bars
For Susan they are the same
Her imagination runs free
As she is trapped inside
But outside the dream
She can hear echoes of autumn
Leaves chattering
Rustling amidst dancing feet
So many children laughing
Her heart racing
Asking
Why is that not me
Yet Susan feels nothing
Except her breath on the glass
As reality comes between
She struggles to understand
Her only playmate her hands
Rocking her dreams to sleep
Cold window pane
Or steel chair
For Susan they are the same
Her imagination runs free
As her legs are strapped inside
But outside the dream


Details | ABC | |

Separation among childhood

As my heart weeps for love,
I began to feel blank, 
As my eyes began to glow,
My body wants to vacate.
Childhood went by too fast,
For the young years are through,
As I lay in a dreary dungeon,
I now have to start new.
Childhood was sweet,
There was a bound between two,
For now we have departed,
I have to decide what to do.


Details | Lyric | |

Missing

To have your heart broken,
just crushed.
To think this could 
never happen to you.
You were the one thing
she could count on.
You were the one person
in her life that was 
always there for her.
Missing that, now that 
it is gone.
Asking herself, what
did she do?
Why is he missing from 
her life?
He was suppose to be
the one person in her
life that would never 
hurt her.
So why did her daddy 
leave her?
Why did her daddy crush
her heart?


Details | Lyric | |

The Look Of The Hurt...

When He Saw Me
He Knew The Look…
It’s the Look of The Hunted
The Look Says, ‘I’m Scared’
The Look, Nobody Wanted
That said, ‘Nobody Cared’

He Said, He Knew The Look
Seen it More than Not
Said He’d Seen The Look
Hung in a Mirror, On a Hook

It’s the Look of The Hunted
The Look That Says, ‘I’m Scared’
The Look, Nobody Wanted
The Look, That Said, ‘Nobody Cared’

…So that, When He Saw Me
He said, ‘You Must Be My Mate
‘Cause, The Look in Your Eyes – I Can Relate’
He Said, ‘Not to Deny It…
Just A Waste of Time
The Look Says It All…
…and I Need To Make You Mine…

You Got The Look of The Hunted
You Got The Look of The Hurt
The Look of  Heart-Damaged
…but I Know What You’re Worth

… Hunted by Your Pain
Hunted by Your Fear
Hunted by Your Blame
Ain’t Gon' Let No One Else Near…

And I Began to Look
In His Eyes… and I Shook
At what I Saw and Heard
… I Repeated His Words…

You Got The Look of The Hunted
The Look Says, ‘I’m Scared’
The Look Nobody Wanted
That Said ‘Nobody Cared’

We Got The Look of The Hunted
The Look of The Hurt
…and We’re Gonna Bury Our Pain
And Walk Away From The Dirt
And From The Look of The Hunted
… The Look of The Hurt


Details | Free verse | |

The Hardest Question

Why?

Thats the hardest question.

When is easier. It was after.

After the baby, cacooned safely

inside of me. After she died. 

 

Why?

Again its too hard.

Who is easier. It was him.

He who promised to love me,

for better and for worse.

 

Why? 

That question's too difficult

Where is easier. In our room.

Our room with the cot in the 

corner. It was for her.

 

Why? 

Is still don't know.

What is easier. It was a knife.

A knife which slit, cut and stabbed

at my throat and stomach.


Why?

I can't remember! 

How is easier. With a casual

indifference. The anger had 

dissapeared.

 

Why?

Because of me. Because I killed

our baby girl. Not born, never born.

The pills had taken her. 

Like he took me.


Details | Bio | |

Unfinished

He might as well have died
A stranger in my eyes
Hurt, Angry and sad
Why did you forget me dad?
I wanted things to last that way forever
You were someone I once treasured
Perfect in my mind
I can't find the strength to cry
Am I weak or is it that bad?
To feel something besides these things I'd be glad
To enjoy the better memories I have
Am I ungrateful?
It's more than they ever had

I want to save my brother from the same fate
The loss of someone you love can drive you insane
He's someone else now, a different person lost in a maze
In a different world, another plane
Sometimes I want to be there with him
But I'm afraid I'd lose my way too


Details | I do not know? | |

Torn between two

The walls echo with  madness of anger spoke between two
For once i wish to wake up with no memory of you
Torn between two i had to decide,either I win the battle or i would choose to die.
Your voiceechos in my ear of what was to be done
You pushed out my father an your only son
Who would be next in this controlling game for one?
The aging memories over come the present fears
non-exsisting hope of drying the on coming tears
dreams last a mere miniute words last forever
memories are the forgotten past as time forgets never.
Hiding in the room and the walls closing in
I hear you in the background screaming "Let me in"!
Wishing to find him wanting to call i cried in the night for my sanity to crawl
blessed be the child who cries alone
Torn between two for everyday at age twelve she wishes she was grown
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Why So Far

Why is it this way
You are so far away
Way more than just one day

You said you would come home
Why aren't you here
I'm hitting the dark to roam

You said those words to me
You made me a promise
But you're across the sea
You're not home with us

You never really call
I wish you were home
I just want one call

I'm sorry that I cry
I just miss you so much
Please come home, please try


Details | Elegy | |

Momma's Kitten

no longer do the hours keep; the minutes pass me by. it's as if when you left all 
of time time conceded to fly. your name i hear screaming come from my voice. 
my prayer; please god no!  was my only choice.  you passed as softly as a setting 
sun, and in the end, baby girl, immortality you have one. so it is with deep regrets 
we will remember you here and yet with hints of happiness knowing one day we 
will be there.  heaven was your home from the start you see; so sit apon your 
father's knee and sing praises all day long; for in our hearts we will forever play 
your song.


Details | Free verse | |

Within Her Eyes

Looking into her eyes
Reminds me of all the times I looked into yours
I can’t believe she belongs to you
Mesmerized by her 
I can’t take my eyes away
Fascinated by her every move
Intrigued by her infectious laugh
Pieces of you in her are so visible
From her stubbornness
To her smile
And I just can’t 
Can’t grasp the fact you had a life before me
Without me
Selfish of me I know
It kills me to think you were happy before you found me
I must admit the bond that connects you to her mother
Scares me
I think about all the what ifs 
And all the possibilities 
I think about the life I have come to know
Could disappear
Within an instant
And even though you try to calm my fears
They still remain
They still silently haunt me
I wish I could tell you about my doubts
But I wouldn’t want to seem insecure
I would feel way too vulnerable
Way too defeated
The more you tell me not to worry
The more I do
I can’t help but think about the family you once had
And how can I compete?
With years? With time?
So are the ties that link us together, really the ties that bind?


Details | I do not know? | |

Reflection

Sitting, wondering, thinking, imagining.  
Imagining what it would be like to go back change things.
Wondering how things would have been different.
Thinking she could have done something to change the outcome.
She closes her eyes and drifts to a place where things are like they one were.  
Everyone is there, the one she misses most is there.
He's waiting for her to run to him and hug him, tell him she loves him.
She sees him and wonders why he had to go. 
She becomes angry and wants to turn and run immeadiately because the pain is 
too real.
Instead she stands and stares.
She looks into his eyes, trying to read every emotion, trying to see what it was that 
she missed so that she can catch it if that same look of pain and hoplessness 
comes into the eyes of another that she loves so much.
He calls her to him, "come here baby, I'm sorry that I left, I just didn't see any 
other way out." 
She stands still, tears rolling down her face, she looks at him in disbelief, 
wondering how the man who was her hero is the one who has caused her the 
most pain.  
She continues to stand there, not knowing if she wants to hug him or turn away 
because he left her.  
The look on his face shows more sadness than she has ever seen, she wants 
to run to him and tell him not to give up, but it's too late for he is already gone.  
As she starts to walk toward him, his eyes begin to light up, it's as if he realizes 
she is worth living for, even if there is nothing else, his daughter loves him and 
always will.
He starts to see that he made a huge mistake.
She is still walking, the path to him seems to extend forever, like she will never 
reach him.
Finally she seems to be getting closer.
She reaches him, hugs h im like never before because she knows it will be the 
last.
She tells him how much she loves him, how sorry she is that she didn't do better, 
that she should have paid more attention to the pain he was going through.  
He just hold her and lets her cry on his shoulder, brushing her hair away from 
her face and wiping her tears away just as he did when she was little.
The pain comes back into his eyes for she is opening hers back to the reality that 
he is gone.
As she opens her eyes she is looking in the mirror and realizes that the eyes she 
saw with such pain were her own.


Details | Bio | |

So Long and Yet So Short

Is it so long?
So long since you were real?
Is it so long.. 
so long you did feel?
Is it so long that you were young?
Is it so long that things went wrong?

It only seems a short while
I stared into those eyes.
It only seems a short while that I was surprised.
By love.

Is it only a short time
I first saw your pain?
Is it only a short time
we tried in vain
to keep sane?
Is it only a short time 
we tried to remain
ourselves?

Is it only now
I can see?
Is it only now that we
can be..
Ourselves?

It only seems a short while
I stared into those eyes.
It only seems a short while that I was surprised.
By love.


Details | Lyric | |

My Angel

 VERSE-1:
I recall when she was my little angel
I recall the times she played in her cradle
Then she’d say piggy back daddy, piggy back
As I trotted all around the yard out back


VERSE-2:
I recall the silly things she’d say and do
I recall all the fun at the zoo
She’d cover up her eyes then cry out boo
Then she’d cover daddy’s eyes and say guess who


CHORUS:
My Angel, She was happy all the time
My Angel, Very glad that she was mine
My Angel, The one that man took away
My Angel, Went to heaven here today


VERSE-3:
I never thought she’d leave, before me
She was the sweetest little thing, she could be
My Angel died, by anothers hand
Laid out along the road in the sand

REPEAT CHORUS:


Written by: George Kenneth Martin

 Date: June 9, 2006


Details | Rhyme | |

The Child Within

I’m all grown up Daddy and all I can do is keep looking back.
I’ve traveled a long road just to be standing here dead on this track.
Many of my tears have been laid to rest and my smile I now seek.
Bruised and battered I cover the little girl that grows inside.
Yellow blankets and satin pink pillows to comfort her when she’s weak!
She seeks to hide.

I’m all grown up Mama and all I can do is keep looking ahead.
I’ve rode the Oceans waves just to be alive and not feel so dead.
Many of my laughs have been put to a test and my smile I have never found.
She’s lost, but sound.

The child within, they all attack.
The child within, they are all meek.
The child within, they all fed.
The child within, they are all bound.

In a world so far away,
Treasures and castles were her path.
It is where she always went to play.
Beautiful gardens and flowing rivers is where she took her very first bath.
Like watering a tree, that little girl just grew and grew and grew.
Finally, she broke free and was clear from every single one of you.

® Registered: Ann Rich   2007


Details | Free verse | |

What I Would Not Give

nothing I would not give 
if just to freeze the image 
of that sweet, adorable kid: 

the every pain and hurt 
that to me would drive her 
for the aches to disappear; 

the shrieks of excitement 
when to the air I’d toss her
then catch and hug my girl; 
     
her chocolate-stained face, 
the few missing front teeth, 
daddy’s lovable, little clown; 

the time she took a full jar 
of her mama's facial cream,
all over herself spreading it; 

catching me kiss her mother
“you are breeding with mom!" 
“sweetie, only rabbits breed";

the grasp of her tiny hands, 
her tremor “dad, I'm scared" 
on that first day in school;

happy days back in the past, 
in baby's eyes I could not err, 
her knight in shining armor; 

alas, daddy's girl yesterday, 
now some boy's sweetheart, 
unmistakably gone from me; 

oh god, what I would not give 
to relive the years long dead,
to be my girl's hero once more. 


Details | I do not know? | |

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO JEANIE

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO JEANIE?
THE GIRL SO MEEK AND MILED.
THE ONE WHO ALWAYS SMILED AT ME.
THAT YOUNG SWEET CHILD.

SHE LOVED PLAYING AT THE PARK
AND RUNNING AFTER DARK.
SHE LOVED LITTLE KITTENS
AND PLAYING IN THE SNOW IN HER CAP AND MITTENS.

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO JEANIE?
THE GIRL WE ALL USED TO SEE.
THE ONE DOLLED UP IN PIGTAILS.
ANS WHO’S SHOES SANG OF BELLS.

SHE CRIED AT SAD MOVIES
AND ENJOYED CLIMBING TREES.
HER BROTHERS USED TO CALL HER NOBBIE KNEES.
SHE WAS CHILD PERFECT AS SHE COULD BE.

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO JEANIE?
WELL HER DADDY CAME HOME IN A DRUNKEN RAGE, YOU SEE!
SHE GOT IN THE WAY TRYING TO SAVE HER MOMMY.
WHEN THEY FOUND HER SHE WAS GONE.
IT SEEM IT WAS HER SKULL HE POUNDED ON.

SHE USED TO RUN AND PLAY.
SHE USED TO HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY.
WE USED TO SEE HER EVERY DAY.
UNTIL A FATHERS MISTAKE TOOK HER FAR AWAY.


Details | I do not know? | |

Questions Unanswered

Sometimes, I wonder what I could have changed
Sometimes, I wonder if all my hopes and dreams were hanged 
I know I could never please him 
See, there was my dad and then there was Jim

I worked and sweat and tired
I worked two jobs in high school and didn't get fired
I got straight A's and was a mechanic he made
As a child we were close, as I grew our relationship fade

I would ask what I could have done more
I would ask why all the put downs, what were they for
I would ask how come he didn't love me,
How come everything I did was never good enough for he

See, its too late now, we walked away
I refused to see things his way
He refused to see things mine
I guess everything will be fine

He is my father, but I just can't  care
he has done to much for me, anymore, to bare
He chose to miss the rest of my life
Little does he know, two grandchildren, he will never put in the same strife




Details | Rhyme | |

Blood on Emeralds

The blood of Emeralds
In Northern Ireland's streets
Where sides detest
Victims they seek
 
Religious divide
Neighbours slain
For the life of me
What to gain
 
These troubled times
Historic sores
Deep rooted pasts
Now to the fore
 
IRA
UDA
Many guns came out to play
Both sides fell, as they murderously slay
During the week, even Sundays
 
The Belfast agreement of 1998
This Land of Emeralds, in peaceful state
Neighbours safe to talk again
Never allow the blood, on the Emeralds stain

" Dedicated to all Ireland - The Emerald Isle "


Details | I do not know? | |

$9.95

$9.95 is the price she paid to Forget All Her Daily Worries.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Forget All Her Daily Stressors.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Dull Away Her Chronic Pains.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Fools Others that 
She was Fine Everyday.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Forget Her Constant Isolation.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Forget 
Her First True Love.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Distance Herself from 
Memories of A Deceased Father.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Distance Herself from 
Memories of A Deceased Mother.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Distance Herself from A Living Brother.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Leaver Her Birth Place.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Succumb to the Needs of A Demanding Supervisor.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Forget Her Current Unemployment Status.

$9.95 is the price she Paid to Deal with Her Youngest Daughter's Impulsiveness.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Let Go of Her Youngest Daughter.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Make A Servant of Her Eldest Daughter.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Cope with Her Eldest Daughter's 
Wedding Nuptials.

$9.95 is the price she paid When Her Daughters Had Betrayed Her.

$9.95 is the price she paid For Her Fifth Sized Apricot Brandy Bottle.

$9.95 is the price she paid While Crying in Her Final Hours.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Her Final Hour.


Details | Rhyme | |

Death

Here lies your mother
The one you betrayed
The one you hated
The one you threw away

Here lies your daughter
The one you didn't want
The one who stood beside you
The one you'd rather taunt

Here lies your sister
The one you always teased
The one who claimed your trouble
The one whose life was seized

Here lies the only truth
Each one of you have known
The one who would have given anything
To have a little love shown

You backed me in a corner
 You left me there to bleed
You turned when I reached out to you
My want you did not need

My blood runs thinly down my arm
On the floor it does stain
In your hands time won't heal
My suffering or my pain

All I ever wanted
All I ever had
All I ever needed
Left me all too sad


Details | Rhyme | |

Motherly Love

She’s yelling again.
Her voice is getting louder and louder.
She says that she’s stuck in a rut and it’s the little girls fault.
She says that it’s not fair she was burdened with a kid she didn’t want.
She says “Look what I’ve given up for you.”

She’s drinking again.
Her slur is getting stronger and stronger.
She says she drinks ‘cause it’s the only way to get away.
She says she needs to escape from the girl’s ugly face.
She says “Do you see what you make me do?”

She’s crying again.
Her sobs are coming harder and harder.
She says the man that she loved more than life has just left her.
She says he didn’t want kids and she should have known better.
She says “My life is over ‘cause of you.”

She’s calling again.
The sound of the phone just rings over and over.
Here message says she's had  no word from her daughter.
She says what kind of kid doesn’t call their own mother?
I say “Thank God she never got through."”




Details | Elegy | |

She's Gone

I'm shedding tears just thinking
Of all the beers she is drinking
There goes one, two, three, now four
She stumbles to the car and opens the door 
Im screaming as I watch her go
I hate it when she drinks but I'd never let it show
That night I went to bed not thinking
I'd be waking up to hear she's dead.


Details | Quatrain | |

Closed Closets

Summer dresses
Sunset smiles
Intertwined fingers
Infatuation by trial 

Giggling glances
Fidgeting hair
Anticipating lips
Confessions spared

Teenage tongues
Passion spry
Inviting innocence
Naive thighs

Misplaced moment
Serrated sigh
Ripped restraint
Something awry

Smothered trust
Eyes of escape
Groped distress
A cry of rape

Muffled scratches
Screaming tears
Convulsing portrait
Of frozen fear

Scared secrets
Trembling outside 
Closed closets
Daughters inside


Details | I do not know? | |

Little Eyes

Little eyes,
No one sees the little eyes,
The eyes that drip for him,
She grows up strong and brave,
And thinking she is wise

Daddy's little girl,
What she never was,
Lost in a maze,
Can't find the open path,
Left behind in shadows,
And stories never told

Little eyes,
No one knows what she sees,
She grows up strong and brave,
And thinking she is wise,
And the little lies,
And the little eyes,
But she smiles in the dark.


Details | Rhyme | |

unimportant

surrounded by bitter disappointment
seemed to be a permanent appointment,
laughter and friends non-permanent cure
no room for any feelings no more,

you never seem to listen, you never seem to care
and when i need you the most, you are never there,
we talk about you problems, we talk about your woe's
we never talk about me, is how it always goes,

so, i bottle all my feelings, keep them hidden inside
when someone tries to open them up, they only seem to hide,
i am messed up inside, with no way to let it out
so i end up all alone, and this is my saddest doubt,

you are there for my brother and my sister too
but when it comes to me, you have other things to do,
i pretend i am happy by a plastering on a smile
i pretend to care about other things like; fashion hair and style,

i do not have a favorite is what you always say
but when it comes down to it, it always me who pays,
it is hard to be alone, it is hard that no one cares
but, most of all it's hard to think that, when i am in trouble no one will be there.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Haunting

Childhood memories have haunted my head
The past is my stone, you are my lead
From torture and torment, this child will cry
Not all was bad as I knew you did try

The stone that you cast, I now throw away
Break free of the past, but memories will stay
Your poison was lead that bled through my veins
The cure is endless as the scars remain


Details | I do not know? | |

Still missing you

Today the tears run down my face
longing for your sweet embrace. I 
miss your touch, I miss your smell,
the thought of you being forever 
gone makes me ill. I wish to hold 
you once again to ease this pain 
that hell hath no end. My heart 
it breaks with every breath I take.
The tears I cry they have no end. 
Here I sit weeping still missing 
you and when I dream I'll dream of 
you and the fun we shared the time 
we stood. Until we meet again someday 
I love you, I loved you, I'll love 
you again


Details | Elegy | |

I Remember Daddy

I remember when daddy helped me catch
my first fish
At night he'd tuck me in bed and seal it 
with a kiss
As the days grew older he finally gave
me away
He helped me appreciate life and encouraged
me to pray
To others daddy wasn't a perfect man, but to me
he was 'My King'
He would tell me to do my very best and loved to hear
his grandchildren sing
Oh, how it was such a tragedy...a dream that has
no end
To face he is now absent from us...a missing father,
soldier, and friend
But although we can not feel his touch or kiss his
smiling face
We will await the moment to be with him in an
everlasting place


Details | Rhyme | |

soldier

So young and full of life
Only give a hint of their mother's sacrifice
Ready to give their lives to keep this country safe
Willing to go anywhere and fight anyplace

Off to a foreign country they go
Peace to the world they try to bestow
Many find death from an unknown hand
While answering the call of their nation's command

To these men and women we give you our hearts
In the future of this country, you will forever be a part
Great and mighty we will always stay
Because of the honor that you showed today


Details | Free verse | |

good bye

You may have left, you may not care,
But I have someone new and I don't care,
You may regret the things you've done,
But I gave up on you a long time ago,
You left so fast and never said good-bye,
And now I'm hurt so I'm saying good-bye,
It's not I'll be back orsee you later,
This time I'm saying good-bye forever,
You ruined my life and didn't even care,
So I'm giving up on wishing you were here,
You said you cared and you'd never leave,
Well now you're gone and i don't care,
You hurt my mom and made her cry,
Well you're a jerk cause you made 
yourself cry,
You abandoned your children and didn't
care,
So I'm saying good-bye, but I still care,




Details | Free verse | |

Voices Beyond The Grave - Fictional Poem

As I walk through the cemetery
Looking at the many headstones
I come across one of a mere infant
Whose life expired well before the time
Of her impending birth 
A flood of memories fill my mind
I hear the cries of little babies
I hear the sound of children playing
And I hear a child scream with rage,
"How could you do it Mommy?"

I thought I could escape from my demons 
That won't let go of my mistakes
I scream and sob for I thought it was over
I thought my sins died with my children
Who were butchered at my behest
Blood drips from my hands
All of a sudden a bloody knife appears in my hand
And I hear the taunts of many childlike voices hollowing
"You slaughtered us! You left us to die!"
I hear the tiny footsteps of children approaching
I was horrified at what I saw
I see the faces of my babies 
Ghost white with tears of blood 
Dripping down their cheeks
Trembling with fear I shake violently
Begging for an end to my torment

At that moment I felt a light tap on my shoulder
My husband trying to wake me
From my haunting nightmare
He knows what I was dreaming
So he takes me in his arms
Giving me a long embrace
Then he tells me that it is 
Time for me to forgive myself
Because my children are resting peacefully
In Heaven with Jesus
And that one day I will get to hold them in my arms
And look at their beautiful faces
Finally getting the chance to be their Mother
After a lifetime seperated from them


Details | Free verse | |

I Cry Motherly Tears

When I sleep at night it's your face I see,
     Living for your addictions and not me.

It's your fears I hear,
     Not my own or anyone else's.

All because I cry motherly tears.

My knowledge is far beyond my years,
      Your life is my fear.

And yet i'm supposed to be the child,
      And I live for you and me both?

You don't know the pain your causing me,
      All I ask for is to be free.

So when I cry ,
      I cry motherly tears.

Your the parent and I'm the child,
     Your the hot and I'm mild.

I cry motherly tears cause,
     It's your face i wear,
     Your voice i hear,
     And your soul I care.

All cause I cry motherly tears.


Details | I do not know? | |

Forgotten

A little child stands alone
That child has no where to go
With just a trash bag
To hold all her belongings
She is sad and lonely
As she looks up at the house once hers
She cries and cries
Missing her mother and father
But they were long since gone
They had forgotten their child
The little one they had called their own
Is now forgotten with no where to go


Details | I do not know? | |

Why My Little Girl?

I watch my child in her delay
Waiting for speech some day
Holding my heart in her hand
Her mind is slipping through my fingers like sand
She has an emptiness in her eyes
She listens but makes no connection or ties
I feel as if I failed somehow
So what can I do for her now
She is the butterfly in my life
Yet she is all lost in strife
Please tell me why my little girl
Why my precious baby girl?


Details | Lyric | |

INNOCENT FACE

A child so young and sweet
wondering would he rape me
at that time in her mother's
place
a child so young with an innocent
face
so scared when the devil appear
deep down inside, she cries a 
silent tear
and knowing she lost her flower
at a very young age
she keeps the secrets
locked up in a cage


Details | Free verse | |

untitled - for now

distortion
its the only thing you see
even though i try so hard
to hide that secret part of me
to keep up my masquerade
to be the someone you wish me to be
is it worth it?
can you even hear me?
try so hard to get your attention
and every once in a while mention
how much i love you and need your affection
your emotional support and your guiding direction
i wont give up, i wont stop trying
although your subconscious rejection keeps me crying
the need i feel is truly defying
my aching thirst undying - 
love from you is my overwhelming zeal
is this my life?
is this even real?
if i wake up
will this all be a dream?
will my story be another?
will this puzzle of a life
finally be put together?
unanswered questions
and incomplete thoughts
my life's been a game 
it seems so far i've lost.


Details | Verse | |

Savagery

Savagery of an act unspeakable, 
ransack of the flesh of innocence 
melts the petals of the rose 
with blowtorch breath of violation. 
The gallows groan, with guilt are ridden, 
turmoil grinds a mind of penitence, 
caustic soda rivers flow 
with twisted thoughts of self-beration. 

The aftermath of the unaccountable, 
imagined false responsibility 
scars the contour of the heart, 
mother love crucified with shame. 
Yet man alone, his black corrosion, 
incarnate evil, cruel iniquity, 
from heaven's grace is set apart 
and is the swine to blame. 

Spoiling of a daughter sacrosanct, 
crime before all of humanity, 
malevolence and vile despair, 
perversion of some vicious cur. 
No mother in her grief and mourning 
ever should endure the agony; 
of every cross she has to bear 
this one is not for her.


Details | I do not know? | |

LIES

Lies,lies
there they remain
fulfilling the ear
giving you pain
saying he loves you
lies of flame
u dont realize
it's nothing but a game
wake up baby girl
he so lame 
yall went on a date 
and he dont remember your name
saying you the 1st girl he been with
feeding you lies on the love train
stringing you alone taking your heart for
a ride
and all he have is 3 letters
pinned for his name


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Hope

Silent ringing in my ear 
Side effects of my career

Holding hands with delicate flowers
Sharing joy with children for hours

Cleaning constant messes
Watching little girls in beautiful dresses

Never resting never sleeping
My inner alarm always beeping

Adding money, paying taxes
Sending business faxes

Try to soften the hard blow
that the children come to know

Moneys getting tighter
Always trying to be a fighter

Crying constant from the loss
Living off of Red Cross

Never seeing little girls 
off in another womens world




Details | Rhyme | |

Wretched Deceit

come away, my sweet
I can wait no longer
your torn breast beckons in
torturous desire

I am what you created
in your quest for escape
you used me and begged
for obliteration as your chosen fate

I awake to your screeches
that justice be done
but you don’t understand that
I’ve already won

you plead blessed relief from
your tormented curse
and I offered you redemption
for what it was worth

you took up my offering
and promised much more
so pay up, my lovely
I’ve earned it, you whore

you wagered your innocense 
your purity, your youth
and you lost to a behemoth
more pitiless than truth

so come to your haven
my prisoner ‘o mine
and repent at your leisure
for you’re mine for all time


Details | Free verse | |

Meatsy

Shifted child 
hither and away
ripped roots clipped
soil untended
uncertain tender shoots
beneath the snow
fear spring thaw


Details | I do not know? | |

Stacy

(Dedicated to Stacy A Brooks who died in a horrible car crash on September 7, 
1997. She was the loving mother of Meghan and Madison Welch.)

She was a special girl but now she's gone.
It's hard but she'd want our lives to go on.
It's hard to accept that she's dead.
She should've had many more years ahead.

Now her children are left without a father and a mother.
She was good to her children and people loved her.
It's so sad that her life came to an end.
She touched the lives of all of her friends.

She loved her sister and her two brothers.
She was very close to her mother.
She was so good throughout the years.
Now people say goodbye and shed their tears.

She cared about her family as well as others.
Now her children are being raised by their grandmother.
She was only twenty-five when she was killed.
Now you can understand the grief that I feel.


Details | Free verse | |

My Mother's Hair

I was once so fond
Of the gray-streaked
Locks cascading
Down her frail back,
Growing so long
In her dying days.

I visited her every day
In the hospital.
The sterile background,
White linen,
And dingy food tray,
Dietary supplements
And nurses’ reminders.

After school,
I braided her hair,
Fingertips brushing
Scalp, climbing up
And down the rope,
Fashioning frizzed
Ends into plaits.

Its soft thickness
Caressing my cheek,
Smelling of flowers
And sweet oils
As she uttered
"I love you"
For the last time.



Details | I do not know? | |

A Daughter's Wish

Oh I wish you could understand 
It feels like we're not even on the same land. 

I thought happiness for me was the way 
But you feel like I've traveled astray. 

You'll never accept my life you state 
So, far way, I'll always wait. 

With your mind and soul you showed me the way 
And I live by all the things you say. 

Allow yourself to come out of the gate 
Free yourself of the anger and hate. 

Love me freely and treat me dear 
I'm happy now daddy and you have nothing to fear


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear mother

I loved everything about you even your sins  
when you gave up and told yourself "I lose" I reminded you to win 
The saddest thing I've ever known was the day you toldme on the phone belief no more you 
had in me and she could come and i couldn't and thats final you see
I no longer understand what you are or what your trying to do I guess doing to me what 
your own mother did to you


Details | Free verse | |

Child Parent

The divorce hit like a tsunami,
But nothing could prepare this child,
To take her mother's place.

She cooks, she cleans.
She tries, she screams.
Trapped in this alternate space.

Seventeen and the mother,
To a 50 year old teenager,
And three 70 year old children.

Sweep this, mop that,
Feed them, clean this,
Do as I say!

The only parent unable to make decisions,
Is a child parent.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Girl Who Wished She Was Dead

The girl who always got picked on
Was the girl who wished she was dead
The girl who hardly had friends
Was the girl who wished she was dead
The girl that always got hit
Was the girl who wished she was dead
The girl that got in trouble for no reason 
Was the girl who wished she was dead
The girl that got her feelings hurt
Was the girl who wished she was dead
The girl that cried herself to sleep at night
Was the girl who wished she was dead
The girl that one day died
Was the girl that finally got her wish


Details | Lyric | |

uncertain

I can't get out
trapped in this artificle world
no way to escape now
nothing left but my soul
how was i supposed to know 
that life not that easy
i got to find away some how
to make it through those rainy days
but heart screaming at me to get away
so what am i supposed to do
when my heart is saying to get way
but my head is saying no way no chance
don't they always say to follow your heart
but happy ending only live in fairy tales
so what am i supposed to do 
live a life of unhappiness
or brave the big bad world on my own?
a life of unhappiness with no uncertainty's
or life of chance but with but uncertainty's
sign a hint will do for me
but guidance is always untrue


Details | Rhyme | |

Reversed roles

Come visit my grave.” Is what she said,
To little to have these thoughts in her head.
She’s only a baby she’s eight years old,
Through her, her mothers story will be told.
“let’s move away and start a new life.”
“Maybe my boyfriend will leave his wife.”
Every night drink after drink,
Her mind so clouded she couldn’t even think.
Her little girl so innocent and pure,
Left with no choice but to quickly mature.
The roles some how became reversed,
Night after night it seemed rehearsed.
Pick her up and bring her home,
Pour some wine and leave her alone.
One glass ALWAYS led to two,
Until she didn’t know what to do.
She only four then five then six,
Because of you she learned new tricks.
She learned to cry at nothing at all,
To avoid hearing you make that call.
She learned to say that she felt sick,
Couldn’t you see it was only a trick?
“Your fathers no good I need so money.”
“Don’t look at me like I said something funny.”
“Your to little to understand, But your Uncle 
now is my new man.”
“The time has come for us to move home,
Baby I love you but I need time alone.”
“You’ll go live with Daddy and you’ll start school,
Even though I told you ….he was a fool.”
“When things don’t work out with my new man,
I’ll come get you I’ll have a plan.”
A little girl so lost and confused
Her little heart has been badly bruised.
“Come visit my grave” is what she said,
Her tiny heart left hanging by a thread.


Details | I do not know? | |

Reality

A mother's love you miss so much
A father's hand, can't feel the touch
A loss so great, can't stand to feel
A family gone, was it ever real

A baby's skin, no longer to hold
An open heart, now so cold
Those beautiful eyes, no longer to see
That ominous love, no more for me

That man's love can't be true
His loving words, no more I love you
His anger erupts, oh how it burns
Those demonic eyes, oh how he turned

The angels above call my name
Rising above this world, nothings the same
My body and soul disconnect
As the rope tightens around my neck


Details | Free verse | |

My Little Girl

I remember when you
Were just a baby 
When I could hold you in my arms 
And rock you to sleep 
Over the years as you grew
You were a little handful at times
We laugh about that now
Part of me loves to watch you grow
And become more independent
Another part of me wants you
To stay my little girl forever

Sometimes I feel so frightened
For I dread the day that you will
No longer need Mommy to
Kiss your boo boos to 
Make them better
I dread the day that you will no longer
Need Mommy to hold your hand 
When you cross the street or
Give you kisses when I tuck you in at night

I will mourn your childhood years
Because it will be the ending
Of a time when you thought
I was the greatest Mommy 
In the whole world
I will miss the times when we 
Blasted the CD player
And danced around the living room
I will miss taking you shopping for
New clothes for school
I will miss our "girls day out"
When we would go to Dillards
And spend a whole day
Getting our hair done
I wish these days 
Could last forever
Because no matter how old you get
You will always be my baby
In my heart you will always
Be my little girl forever


Details | ABC | |

Dear mom

Dear mom,

 I'm sorry about the letter I'm writing you, but I've done all I can and there is no more
I can do,
 You see it's your daughter she lost her kids, or should I say she chose another over them
thats what she did,
 Mom I'm sad for the way this all turned out, these kids are so messed up because of her 
you know what  I'm talking about,
 There's no family members to take them all in, and I think it's so sad that they pay for
there mom's sins,
  Mom I believed she would get better, do the right thing, but you know her she wants to
do it her way that sad old song she sings,
 I'm glad your not here to see them go, mom as bad as they are where ever they wined up
I'm sure a better life they will know.
 It just hurts to say goodbye, all eight of them didn't deserve the life she gave them are
deserve the tears they cry,
 I just hope and pray you watch over them, they will need all the love you can send,
You know I did all I could right , and you know and see how  my own kids are doing in this
fight,
  Mom like you did her whole life, watch over your daughter and try to help her the rest
of her life,
 for a mother without her kids is what she'll be, and just like them the bright side she
will not see,
 they will all be better off, a home, hope, and a chance just to be, some thing she never
gave them that something you gave me,
 So in closing I'm sad to say, mom I'm sorry it ended this way,

                                                               Love your son,

  
 p.s. I hope up there you get this letter, and your having fun.


Details | I do not know? | |

Seeing You Later

The car was packed, the sun was low the end was drawing near,
A journey home, a brand-new start, alas here comes the tears.

I hugged you tight and whispered low “ I don’t want to say good-bye”.
You chuckled deep and hugged me back. You gave a dad’s reply.

You said just  “See you later” that would get us through.
My husband and new family we drove off to life anew.

He was to be the man I would share how many years?
He would hold me tight that night I’d drowned in fear.

Three years they would pass us by with letters and some calls.
Then April Fools you passed away and now I pace the halls.

I wonder what I should have said, and if I should have stayed.
I wonder if you knew that day what could not be delayed.

Good-bye it seems so final, like the slamming of a door,
To make progression easier, for me you wanted more.

I scan the streets of people so many resemble you,
I listen to the wind, and surprise I hear you too.

I find comfort in your notion of seeing you again,
So passively I surrender to Only God Knows When.


Details | I do not know? | |

SAFE HAVEN

My safe haven is a beaten child’s heaven.
A place I go to escape reality into a mystical imagination no one knows.
A place only I can go.
A place I go hide when my daddies to far gone.
He’s to drunk to find me so I’m safe till dawn.
It’s filled with blankets and my mom’s college Shakespeare book,
The one she still doesn’t know I took.
I hear him yell and I hear her scream,
But I’m safe here living in my daydreams.
A place where fathers love daughters, and husbands love wives.
A place where people live by happiness for all their lives.
In my special magical place.
In my small four by four closet space. 

Looking in it doesn’t looks like much.
But in a shattered child’s eyes it’s just the touch.
When I make it their 
I don’t need to worry or care.
It’s mine so I don’t have to share.
I escape from my home of hell
And dream of stories far from here to tell.
I read my book and then I’m lost.
I find myself in a land of diamonds and frost.
Love in my special place is unconditional.
Children are special and sensational.
My safe haven I go 
When I need saving.
Daddy comes after me even if I haven’t been miss behaving.
So I have to disappear without a trace.
In my special magical place.
In my small four by four closet space. 

Years later I remember a little girl that hides.
I remember how innocence dies.
I remember that girls dreams.
I remember how she almost fell through the seams.
I remember she was brave.
I remember she was saved.
In my special magical place.
In my small four by four closet space. 


Details | Bio | |

from god above

they laid you in my arms,with all your innocent charm,i prayed to god above, for the 
rest of her life,let her live in love." your first word, your first  smile, your first day of 
school,my how you grew.. through sickness and in health, rain or shine, god gave 
you to me on loan,for a short time. now a grown woman with a child of her own,my 
how shes grown {shelby},with hair as red as when her mama was born,given only to 
you ,on loan from god above, to you jenny : with love. they laid her in your arms,with 
all her sweet charm,you prayed to god above, for the rest of her life let her live in 
love.. her first smile, her first word, her first baby step. MY ... babys face lit up like 
gods stars, as i watched them grow together,my memories from afar... theyre first 
word, theyre first smile,   theyre first baby step,for the rest of theyre lives,let them 
live in gods love.....


Details | Free verse | |

Silent No Longer

For a decade I was locked inside
The little world you placed me in
I knew no other way to exist
You ruled our home through intimidation
Dsyfunction was what our lives revolved around
You loved me and protected me
Then attacked and belittled me
Though most of the time no bruises 
Appeared on my weary body
My soul was bruised and scarred
Beyond repair
No one would listen
Because they did not see 
The outward signs of a woman
Tormented by a tyrannical ruler
Fate played a cruel trick on us
For our baby was ripped from our arms twice
Because your monster surfaced time after time
I plunged into a dark abyss
Without my little girl to hold every night
I felt so much pain 
I was in agony every moment I was awake
I wanted to throw myself into a ravine and die
But, the thought of having my baby back kept me alive
It made me want to fight for her
When she reunited with me for the second time
In my care she has stayed ever since
Because the house of horrors we used 
To dwell in is a little less scary
But, even now I sometimes catch a glimpse
Of the diabolical master that held us hostage
With his fits of terror and paranoid delusions
Though now much tamer
He still has it in him
So I always have to be on guard
But, now I have taken back control of my life
I have been empowered to break free from this prison
And have a voice of my own again
This time I am silent no longer
I am screaming for an end to this nightmare
Because I won't be your victim any longer


Details | I do not know? | |

Neglectful father

.(This is a fictional poem)

The school counselor told me that you have Aids.
You didn't come to me because you were afraid
For years I yelled and neglected you,  I wasn't a good father.
When it came to trying to be a good parent, I didn't even bother.
I know that I've been a lousy dad but  I'm going to start being there for you.
I'll climb a mountain or swim across an ocean if that's what I have to do.
I'm not sure how much more time we'll have together.
But i'll be here to help as you go through the stormy weather.
You're in pain because of this illness you have to endure.
I'm going to hold you in my arms and pray for a cure.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mother Dear

Mother mother
Can you hear me?
Has the substance plugged your ears?
Are you too high to hear?

Leave me alone
Maybe for days
"She'll get over it"
Did you know I hear what you say?

I'm not an ignorant little girl
I know where you go
I know not to trust you
I know your promises will never be fulfilled

So why do you promise me the world
But keep it to yourself
Why do you slap me when I try to reach out
But try to give me a warped sense of "help"

Mother mother
Your remedies are useless
Nothing makes up for the things you've done
Nothing makes up for the lies you've spun
Mother mother
You are not the adult
I am not the child


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost Lullaby

Hard to believe I'm your flesh and blood 
As you blithely send a kick my way
The contact hurts
Hurts like the granted you take me for
But at least your touching.

Is this good enough?
Have I prayed hard enough
Tried hard enough 
Cried hard enough
For you to notice the feeling scrawled across my face
Scrawled again in crimson ink on my wrist.
And red lines race.

Do you notice? Tell me do you notice?
Words are in my soul
In my journal
In my arm
But they remained unspoken
Tell me did you notice?

Do you notice my silence when only you're around?
Do you see my longing for contact not as punishment?
Do you notice my tears as I find my own little sleeping pill?

Can you not read me?
The letters are loud and clear.
My thoughts are etched in stone on my face

Things are damaged
Ties are broken
How have we managed
With so many words unspoken

I'm screaming
I'm Breaking 
I'm grieving I'm rebelling
I'm Trying
And I'm losing
I'm walking on wires three to three thousand
And you laugh as they break
Laugh as I fall

If I'm hung from a rope maybe you'll know me
Maybe you'll call me
Call me your baby girl once again
Hold me in your arms as you see what you've done
Or maybe you'll turn your back
Turn your back and run
Run from this mistake over time.
This mistake that is my soul


Details | Bio | |

Reflections

I reflect on the way you treated me 
the way you used and abused
left me young, dumb, and confused
At that tender age i could never choose
 and i thank my sister for bringing out the truth 
I never had a chance to cherish my "sweet pea"
You left me for years struggling with low self esteem
no one not even you paid attention to my screams 
i reflect on how i didn't even want to go any farther
i reflect on you my own father.......

........ Reflecting, looking at my own reflection 
you was friendly the only one on the block introduced yourself to me
Yea i remember I was 10 you was 12
At 15 you left me,
Had me going through emotions felt like hell.
You was like only family the only one who understood
The only one that allowed me to cry all I could
the best thing is she never let me cry alone
I reflect on how 6 years later we still maintaining strong........REFLECTING 

Now some years has pasted and the troubles run deeper
The state is involved and the top hill I was on run steeper 
With all the programs, youth shelters, foster homes, and new people
No one around me to trust, now I'm a light sleeper.
I sit here in the dark crying is all I can do
As I get older, I have more things to think about and choose
I'm paying for my father's sickness day by day 
Just because he was a pedophile and decided to penetrate
Who ever thought us all five of his daughters
Now everything I do I have to protect it 
Not every  man knows what respect is...
So I end my reflection turning away from the 
person staring at me in the mirror
Next person who experience this God please protect her.


Details | I do not know? | |

Take All

Take my fortune
Take my fame
Take my pride
Leave me in shame

Take my sanity
Take my soul
Take my dignity
Leave me without control

Take my compassion, take my pride
Take my faithfulness too
Take my entire life as well
For the man you’ve become is not the man I once knew

Take my dreams
Take my freedom
Take my voice as well
For the conscious and love you once had
Those traits have now expelled

Take everything without regret or any empathy to bestow
But you'll never take the love for my girls which forever continues to grow


Details | I do not know? | |

UNDER AGE

He told me what 2 wear
i cried he didn't care
he makes me wash,
cook and clean
it wasn't fair

he beats me with a gage
he knows i'm under age
the pain is unbearable
he thinks this fun and games
so when i tell him to stop
he gets in a rage


Details | I do not know? | |

Shameless Father

Its a shame what you have put us through.
You look the judge in the eye,
As if you didn't do anything wrong.
A sick minded father doesn't deserve,
These greatful Children of his.
He's already physically hurt two.
He never learned the first time around.
Back to Jail he goes for his pleasure he could not stop.
A shameless father sitting in court,
In front of his four children,
Lying about what he had performed on them.
The tears rolling down the daughters faces,
As anger is in their mothers eyes,
Glaring at there father.
How could a father do this?
He has hurt his whole family.
Now is the time he is punished,
For the pain he has put his very own children through.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

When the sun rises

(This is a fictional poem)

You destroyed my life when you raped and killed my daughter.
Now you're on death row and you're going to be slaughtered.
You took the only thing in my life that mattered.
I'm glad they're going to fry you, you bastard!
When the sun rises, I don't even want to get out of bed.
I'm miserable and I'm falling apart because she's dead.
You broke into our home and callously killed her with a knife.
I just want you to know that I'll hate you for the rest of my life.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Life

		My Life


I lyed in my bed,
That was in a room the size of a shed,
All I wanted to do is sleep,
But then I would hear a slite creak,
I would hear someone steping down with their feet,
Telling me it was time to eat,
After I would finish eating,
I would rock while sitting,
The nasty food didn't make me feel feed,
But I still would head downstairs to go to bed,
I would just ly there,
I knew that my life was so unfair,
Finilly I would fall asleep,
Only to wake up to a beep,
I would do my hair and get dressed,
But still I was a big mess,
Then I would go to school,
All day I would act like a fool,
At school I could be me,
At school I could be free,
But then I have to go,
Back to the place that made me feel low,
I would do my homework then start to clean,
Then I would go to my room and dream,
I would dream of better place,
And me with a better face,
Then I heard a knock at the door,
I let the two guys come in and set their stuff on the floor,
It went from having fun,
To feeling num,
I went to my room,
Not knowing something bad was to happen soon,
I fell asleep and dreamed about a purple grape,
But soon I would awake only to find out I had been raped!


Details | Lyric | |

Would You Come After Me?

Lately, I've been looking in the mirror
And trying to see you beyond my eyes.
I may be a fool, but I am not blind.
As much as I wish it, you aren't there.

I've spoken hidden words,
Hoping you would understand,
But you haven't been there for me.
I have to wonder who or what
I am to you.
And I have to wonder how I can bear
Belonging to someone who just doesn't care.
I have to wonder....

If I ran, would you come after me?
If I stopped, what would you say?
If I just closed my eyes
And let myself fall,
Would you catch me?

Or would you walk back down that hall?

Block me out?

Pretend I never called?

If I was in danger,
would you fight for me?
If I was hurt,
would you avenge me?
If I was sick,
would you hold my hand
and pray for me to be well?
If I died, Daddy,
would you care at all?

So if I run now,
And you don't want me to go,
Then come after me fast.
I may keep looking back,
But if you're not coming,
Daddy, I ain't ever turning back.

If I ran, would you come after me?
If I stopped, what would you say?
If I just closed my eyes
and let myself fall,
would you catch me?

Or would you walk back down that hall?

Block me out?

Pretend I never called?

I need to know...
So,
here I go,
I need to know, Daddy.
Would you come after me?


Details | I do not know? | |

FORGIVENESS

as a little girl i had bad dreams.
i awoke in the night to hear my own screams.
these dreams were nightmares i lived many nights, 
i prayed for help as i turned out the lights.
 the dreams had a monster i knew well, 
i was a good girl i could not tell.
the monster would hurt me and make me feel sad,
 what hurt me the most was my dad.
 i told no one about the game,
i could not tell mom because of the shame.
 without fear and refusing to cry 
i faced the monster and ask why?.
i got no answer to the questions i had,
i got my answer by watching my dad.
i saw him crying and shaking his head 
i saw my daddy wishing he were dead.
i felt no anger, hate nor fear, what 
i was feeling was so perfectly clear.
i felt so sorry for the soul trapped inside, 
i asked for forgiveness for wishing he had died.


Details | I do not know? | |

Innocence Lost

Brought you up like a little princess,
center of my whole universe;
when you cry I’d come right running –
daddy’s little girl.

Through distance and even through time,
nothing could seem to pull us apart.
riding on my back, screaming with delight –
father and child.

But now that you’ve grown 
without warning you
thrust a dagger through my soul,
cut me up with your sharpest blade,
pierced my gut with your pointed knife,
broke me up like your helpless doll.
how could you! 

We used to be so good together,
at least that’s the way I always thought;
never knew you’d hurt me this bad,
you lived just for yourself. 

And now that you’ve grown
without warning you 
thrust a dagger through my soul,
cut me up with your sharpest blade,
pierced my gut with your pointed knife,
broke me up like your helpless doll.
how could you! 

I can’t tell if I can look at you again
with the same glimpse of love here in my eyes.
I may forgive you when my wound finally heals
but one thing is sure I will never forget.

Betrayed!


Details | I do not know? | |

You Don't Know Me

You don't know me. 
I'm the one who sat in the corner of your life all those years.
I'm the one who felt pain when you felt pain.
I'm the one who wished with all my heart that you would notice.
But you didn't notice me.
You didn't care.
So here I sit...
Alone...
Rotting, dying on the inside.
Are you happy now?
You don't knoe me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Tears on my pillow

What can turn time back, to those unforgettable days.

The way I took advantage of your love, when I told you, I will never change.

What can put a smile on my face, and erase the guilt that's heavy in my heart,

Why did I ignore you as if you didn't matter, how come I didn’t say I was sorry from 
the start?

The reproach I brought to your name,
The aches & pain, the suffering, the shame.

How could I have been so rebellious, so ignorant and selfish?

My pride blinding me, I couldn't see that I was being very foolish 


And all the time I laughed at you, mocking you as you tried to share the truth with 
me,

However, I turned away, throwing up my hand, without respect, and mindless 
understanding.

I wanted to distance my self from you, telling you to stay away,

Giving you trouble, every time day after day,

For whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap,

Now you’re gone not here with me, and every day I weep.

I am troubled, heart broken, filled with agony,

Confused, uncertain because of this tragedy.

I'd never thought I'd see the day where everything would turn over on me,

Now, I am no longer blind, I finally can see.

But it's too late and there's no way you can here me say,
That I'm sorry for the pain I've caused my evil doing, my heartbreaking ways.

Why didn't I listen, why was I so dumb,
Why did I let my heart become hardened and num?

You were always right I was wrong each time, now I know

In addition, I'm paying for it each day I awake, with tears on my pillow.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Promise

When you were growing inside my womb, I promised no pain and to keep you 
from harm,
And then you were born into a painful life and I realized the promise was an 
impossible one.
So now that you've grown into a young lady I give you this promise, please 
remember it daily.
I PROMISE to be there when your head hurts too bad and to always see your 
beauty even when you're mad.
I PROMISE to fight for your right to be here and to hold your hand through all that 
you fear.
I PROMISE to give you the tools that you need and to be a good person so you 
can follow my lead.
I PROMISE to be positive and expect the best and make you laugh when you deal 
with the rest.
I PROMISE to hug you whenever you need one, I PROMISE to kiss you when life 
isn't fun.  
I PROMISE to hold you when you're puking like crazy and to listen closely when 
your speech is hazy.
I PROMISE to be there waiting for you everytime you have to go to the operating 
room
I PROMISE to remember that no matter what I do I'll never understand what it's 
like to be you.
I PROMISE to be there for you in every way and lastly to love you for FOREVER 
AND A DAY.