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Sad Angst Poems | Sad Poems About Angst

These Sad Angst poems are examples of Sad poems about Angst. These are the best examples of Sad Angst poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme | |

What Only Angles Hear

Daddy never did understand.
That violence doesnt bring comfort.
A lost soul seeking acceptance from a unwelcome hand.

She was silent no one ever knew.
The secrets behind her bruised eyes.
A shocking victem none but all had a clue.

She cried to empty walls never speaking aloud from fear.
A confession of pain and shattred trust.
this is only what angles hear.

Scars selfinflicted  are better than that 
dirty feeling.
As she lays a broken shell gazing  at the celling.

She questions if others know what will they say.
Doing whatever it takes to stay numb.
Innocence lost a parent should never betray.

The guilt was placed apon the wrong head.
Void of all emotion.
No child should yern to be dead.

At times it gets to uncomfortable so in 
another direction we  steer.
For at times it's just to painful to stomach.
What only angles  hear.


Details | Rhyme | |

A LullabyTo The Lost

Life and cigarettes burn to fast.
We waste are time.
So within the moment you bask.

A pretty face has to age.
Every story meets  it's final page.
When life breaks you over its cost.
Then you'll sing a lullaby to the lost.

The lights in the street hide all but the truth my 
dear.
You can act.
But you can never mask your  fear.

In dark rooms you sell all but your soul.
A wicked moment a stolen encounter.
All things take there toll.

That sweet face has tuirned hard your so warm 
to be cold.
A secret that the bitter have already told.

Can you wash away there stench as from 
the past you are tossed.
In dark corners blood stained angles 
sing a lullaby  to the lost.

Is this hell or a nightmare  that knows no end.
A cell to most.
To others the only refuge inwhich they 
can depend.

she falls to the floor a lost look needle  
in arm.
Most will rememeber a doomed fool.
Others her wreckless charm.

She was  a junkie  and a easy lay.
More bones are broken.
Over words others say.

She sold flesh but payed the ultimate
cost.
In a dingy corner of th world.
Were the angles sing a lullaby to the lost.


Details | Acrostic | |

Open Sores

I am a coward with open sores. 
I write and wonder who it bores. 
I hear my heart and mind argue repeatedly. 
I see others carrying out my dreams; 
that’s what’s defeated me.
 
I am a coward with open sores. 
I pretend open doors are closed, and walk the other way. 
I touch base with the fear in my heart, tearing me apart,
leaving nothing to say... 
I worry the world will leave me. 
I cry because no one believes in me. 

I am a coward with open sores. 
I understand nothing comes easy. 
I say I’m happy, but even I don’t believe me. 
I dream I am healed and brave. 
I try to overcome my weaknesses before I’m in my grave. 
I hope you hear me.
I’m on all fours. 
I am a coward with open sores. 




©  2011  ~JSLaM    

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* 1st PLACE in Contest "MARCH MADNESS" Sponsored by C. Devonshire 2011

* 1st PLACE in Contest "ONE OFF" Sponsored by Brian Strand 5/11/2011 

* 1st PLACE in Contest "BEST EVER" Sponsored by P.D. 2011
                 
   


Details | Ballad | |

This Song is for my Mother

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
I couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
A song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created and cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Memory of a mother
Shared my dreams and really cared

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Mama…
I know I wasn’t there……

For you

Would have placed 
A magic carpet 
‘neath your weak and shaky legs

Would have raised
A strong west wind
Let you breathe with ease again

Would have bribed 
God’s venal angels
Come and soothe your endless pain

Would have vanquished
All the demons
And bring peace to you again

Be the child
I never knew
In a land
We won’t grow old

Be the light
I always loved
Warmed my dark 
And lonely soul

Be the girl
Playing games
In a world 
The sun won’t set

Be the laughter
Calms my heart
I never will forget
I won’t forget, won’t forget

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
Couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
Song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created….cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

I broke my promises, oh mama
Now you’ve gone away 
I’m broken
Drowning in the pain each day

I’m  drowning…drowning...drowning…drowning

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me…….



Details | Rhyme | |

All That Refuse To See

All That Refuse To See


Your ears shut wide eyes up tight
a menagerie sits in absent light
Time and reason are out of sight
stonecold now is courage's might!

Your eyes embrace a newfound cave
even logic can not your mind save
in blindness you are now a slave
treading a path to shallow grave!

Your screams raise no great alarm
dead plants harvest on your farm
No more shall love be your charm 
chained legs match each dead arm!

Your last days filled with cries
fruits set onto your many lies
Dark clouds moan in your skies
Heart rots as soul slowly dies!

Your death was an incoming tide
bled from arrogant false pride
Fait accompli no man can hide
none succeed, many have tried!

Robert  Lindley
01, 23, 1979


Details | I do not know? | |

Anger

There it is again
Bubbling up from within
Wretched wrath washing over me
Vile disgusting filth freely flowing
Angry demons seizing control
Forced attrition to evil urges

Screaming 
Yelling
Rants of rage

Watched from within
Helpless
Powerless

Unable to soothe the beast
Surrender to aggression
Until the bile is expelled
Vomited forth in fury
Leaving only the bitter tastes
Of regret and sorrow 


Details | Narrative | |

The Rose

Once bloomed a rose so young and fair
With dark brown eyes and long black hair

Beside her be a tall dark tree
Whose branches stretch to smother thee

Too close beside the shadowy bark
That soon begins to leave its mark

She cries for help, but none shall hear
Her thorns too sharp, who’d dare go near?

To save this rose, who’d risk their life?
With naught to gain but pain and strife

Alone, afraid, she lays to rest
Her heart beats low inside her chest

And with the hour growing near
She sheds her final grieving tear

And so the rose soon falls asunder
Her final day, eternal slumber

She lies beside the old dark tree
The only one who mourns for thee


Details | Rhyme | |

Remnants

Sad Heart, now thou art wither’d from the Sun,
What man, or god, will near thee run?
Wrought in twist like branches in Tempests' gasp,
What Comfort, or Gauze, shall be near to grasp?
True ones begotten are the ones now Rotten
And the ones now Rotten will never be forgotten
They are merely sad remains of assiduous Tears
That have been meddl’d with and tatter’d Raw throughout the years

And thou, cruel Mind, that sat’st still thru toiling trail of Night;
Must dream your broken Dreams; thou’rt a sanely flight!
Can thou extinguish passions of Fire, Disease, or Rain?
—tho thy distinguish’d influence trains to abstain
Thy Remnants brought to debris in thy Empty street,
Devour’d by Vultures, their bestow’d beaks entreat
Merely are they cleaning an inexhaustible Mess
Alas! Leaving thy rudiments of Identity to redress....



Details | Imagism | |

Between Shades

“Alive,” she said,
 “and becoming such a beautifully-
painted picture.”

Where-in you walk wispy
(She said)
through the moon’s light
shinning on the branches
of leafless trees.

Then tomorrow shakes his tired head,
halfway into Autumn’s-
dead middle;
and you stand shaded and colored
(She said)
by the fiery skies.

While down among your feet
the wilted flowers 
wake like a carnival 
and encircle you
(She said)
with forgotten happiness.

And on you trod shyly
into forests of yes and no.
Where all happiness is lost,
and the flowers forget-
to grow.

“Alive,” she said.


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Diary (Dying)

Maybe this can't be saved.

One more short year and I'll never see her again. I'll always be wondering about 
her but it's better left that way. Never been able to face the truth. Even now.

We were all each other needed, some childish indestructable duo of sorts. All 
gone.

Sometimes it's my fault. I've been a cliche since prom night when she came over 
and apologised and suddenly she was perfection. After that I hardly spoke 
around her in case I stuttered or worse, couldn't make her laugh. Was I in love? If 
I was I still am. This intolerable inferiority complex, this petrified fear of not being 
good enough feels all too familiar.

Don't think there was one moment when it all happened, but now I find myself 
smiling arduously in black armour; all that she made me once again 
undermined. I called her my mermaid; sunny skin, the beach in her hair and eyes 
shining with all the colours and tempers of the ocean.

Now she's hacked away every detail of her. Barely recognisable, even to the one 
who used to know her best.

There's a girl I still know, dancing through my memories, but already clinging to 
herself, desperate to remain. She knows she can't stay forever.

We're not the people we were; this can never work.

Today I'm hiding behind a calm and carefree front; she can never know, nor 
understand why. I'm blocking her out.
Out of sight, out of mind
No explanation. We were dying anyway.
But if she asks why I can't see her anymore
How can I even look her in the face?
If that's selfish then at last it's my turn.

I miss her even when we're locked in embrace. Affection is genuine. All else is 
lost. She can't save us, can't put in the effort. I've tried but I'm weak. Another 
excuse to take cover under.

I can't change her back. Why am I trying? I should just make the most of my 
precious friend now.

A little more of her slips away every day.


Details | Free verse | |

The Day That Died Forever

When I am Colder,Older and then alone...
I will collect the sky on my own...
When the art has faded and the days then fade-
when everyone has gone away...

I may finally see what never was saw
.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh............... the quiet sky

The unlit room which bares my end...shows the flashes of my pains my joys and sins.
This life has been a strange one since the curtains were drawn
These paper and plastic figures have clouded the dawn

I was once younger,foolish,and obsessed with truth
Now I am bitter,sour,dour faced with my heart under shoe

The children were all searching or lost in a crowd
All weeds in a garden...growing vile and foul

Though beauty was sold it never came true
Obsessions and vanity have traveled safe through

Materials and poison and everything lost
have been burned in the fires or lost in the frost

I stand face to mirror tearing my being apart
Winding thoughts of love,pain,god,and art

As the sun sets and the darkness grows
I too shall follow this pattern in tow

Death has a friendly hand and a pretty face
She has given me comfort as I leave this place

The wars have occurred,humanity's lost
Souls have been burnt in the fire or lost in the frost

Day was Life,Night is Death

And the latter has given counsel on my final steps


Details | Free verse | |

THE HILL

On a bright sunlit morning, washed brilliant with clover,
the day was alive with complacency, as color.
The day had no reason to quiver off course.
A cat in a tree, was stalking a bird,
and people were rising, to go off to work.
No one was thinking of nuclear things.

Below, in the trenches, a watchman has wandered,
checking a gage, or turning a page, of a manual's cover. 
He scratches his head, and ponders a problem,
wondering how numbers could be out of order?

His heart rate goes up, his blood pressure rises.
He is wise enough, adding up, and soon he's alarmed!
He sets off the buzzers, but knows much too late,
the tremor he felt, was not of his own.
But instead, is the syndrome, we've always ignored,
That something horrendous.........Oh, my God, what will come,
of the innocent families who live in the zone?

People arising, beginning their day
who scurry their children, in a rush off to school.
and husbands who carry a lunch in their pail, 
punching a time clock, to work at the mill.

Just an ordinary day, in the lives of the men,
women, and children who live 'neath the hill. 
"The Hill", that will bring them the end of the world.

Living their lives, on a tightrope so thin,
daylight begins, but how will it end?
A tremble so mild, invisible wave,
has seeped from the waste, with a radiant hand,
to swollow landscape, and burn with the sun. 

As heart rates get higher, blood pressure rises,
the tremor we feel,  is now that of our own.
Oh, my God, what becomes
of the innocent targets who dwell in the zone,
men, woman, children......who live 'neath the hill?
"The Hill" that will bring them the end of their world.



___________________________________________
For Deb's Contest: Global Poetry (Nuclear Leak)
11/26/14


Details | Rhyme | |

This Brick Wall

One by one through the years 
A wall was built with pain and fears
Brick by brick it was laid
On solid ground where it stayed
I tried to listen as you spoke to me 
Words of wisdom and prophecy
Yet, I could not hear through the wall 
Built with strength as not to fall
Then one day from the sky 
I thought I heard an angel cry
Weeping softly teardrops fell 
Gathered from life's wishing well
Two more angels joined her side 
And hand in hand all three cried
Thunder bellowed, rain did fall 
Tearing down my sturdy wall
Yet, through the fog I found my way 
So brick by brick I build today


Details | Rhyme | |

The thoughts of a bi-polar

Who am I and what am I to say?,
All I've got to do is play,
Along in a game I don't understand,
Make people come to my land,
A deal that you don't think about,
Something thats going to start out,
A trend that will last for years,
Making people come to tears,
Arguing points that don't get across,
Having to deal with a great loss,
This is my life and these are my words,
Circling around like I'm in herds,
Playing games with my head,
Maybe I would be better off dead.


Details | Rhyme | |

She was Saved

You read in the papers You watch on the news Our soldiers are fighting As the killing accrues In the theatres of war We lose many lives In these wars of man Only death thrives But every so often There's a turn for the good A life is saved They couldn't do what they could The lives of a family Murdered by cowards Shot in cold blood Bullets they showered But from this tragedy A life was saved It's of a little girl And a soldier who braved A Chief Master Sergeant In the USAF Allows mans humanity To kindly show face This little girl who was saved Who was shot in the head He stayed by her side For she should have been dead To see pictures like this In the theatres of war Maybe it's understandable To see what we fight for An alleged soldier In wanton family wipe What takes a soldier To become their type My heart goes out To this little girl And all the other children Caught up in this war ridden world Written on the spur of the moment after receiving a picture from Sara Kendrick. http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-4.php


Details | Free verse | |

Struggle

Primal, basal, beyond my awareness
How could I have been so careless
I let the line between real and fantasy
Become clouded through my jealousy
The fire rose, consumed, burned away
And left the ashes in its wake
I still search for just one burning ember
To reawaken feelings of forever
But destruction is all around
I fall to my knees, hit the ground

Can you hear me scream?

Blatant, cold, and calculating
Every part of this wrapped up in hating
The one who did this thing to me
Imprisoned when I was set free
The water rises, to wash away
All the promises we once made
If still one ember ever burned
It burns no more, lesson learned
Still destruction is all around
And I can’t lift myself from off the ground

Can you see me cry?

Detached, impartial, contemplating
Why am I here, why am I waiting
Just what am I waiting for
A broken window, an open door
A key to tell me who I am
So I can learn to live again
Without the fear, without regret
To bring back balance and pay the debt
To clear debris from hallowed ground
Unchained, but broken, I am bound

Can you feel my battle?


Details | Free verse | |

Betting on Nothing

By committing to nothing, one retains infinite options.
I have hid inside these words for moons and seasons and New Year’s toasts.
The lone wolf roams fertile pastures unfettered.
The thrill of the hunt.
The chase.
An empty bed is the hope of a new body’s sleeping curve.
Tomorrow becomes yesterday.
“The mystery of mysteries is the gateway to marvels.”
I stopped looking long ago.

The faces have blurred into a montage of emptiness.
Come and go; came and went.
I never bothered much to be bothered.
There aren’t many memories
And I am thankful for that.
Wet fingers and licked lips’
Blood on my hands.
Wasted time.
The years run on like a favorite sitcom gone bad.
It all should have been retired years ago.

It is easier to stay afloat and roam the big waters alone
Than set up camp on an island and face a face.
No problems.
No worries.
No connection.
Freedom is all that you cannot commit to
And who surrenders to nothing is he who lives in frigid shadows of fear.
Maybe I have never truly known warmth.

I walk the streets like a war-worn shoulder.
A little cold, a little distant, a little too silent.
The words I have are recycled fragments of someone else’s life.
I don’t offer much.
Poker face.
Can you read my concrete stare?
I have an entire universe hiding in my back pocket
But I’m scared to show you.
It’s been so long since I groped or even fondled my own life.
I’m not sure what I do or don’t have to offer.
I just keep making bets and upping the ante.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Creation

It's my created courthouse
The jury's reached a verdict
A sentence of familiar course
Against the criminally virgin
Guilty by association
I stand to face my trial
Innocent of all my charges
Accused by my empire

Out of seventy-two wishes
I've got one left
A hunger for escape grows
On an open shelf
Surrounded by my story
I have lost my soul
Upon an open world's edge
And endless and lonely road

It's my created jailhouse
A self-sufficient cell hall
Not a single bar in sight
Just cells of open gray-walls
Imprisoned by my own delusions
In cell one on dead block
With broken bones and dying faith
An executed man begins to walk

Out of seventy-two wishes
I've got one left
A hunger for escape grows
On an open shelf
Surrounded by my story
I have lost my own soul
Upon an open world's edge
And endless and lonely road

It's my created world
It's my created plague
It's my created punishment
For my created hate
It's my created nightmare
In my created sleep
It's my created six foot hole
Which was dug for only me




Details | Rhyme | |

Watching Dreams Die

A wrong  path taken  a sudden curve in the road.
So you take  a fall over some false code.
Thrown in a cell.
Taking the blame for thoose secrets we never tell.

Concrete  walls cast shadows over sky. 
So many souls trapped watching dreams die.

You had a little baby now she's a cute little girl so you learn.
Years drag slowly as pinwheels turn.

No one plans on making  loved ones
cry.
In a place life does not exist.
You spend your time watching dreams die.

Was it the system or just a stupid mistake.
Long after the bars.
The guilt alone you will take.

You missed your mothers funeral but her 
 her heart died with you.
A letter informed a inmate his marriage
was threw.

You lost part of your life this you cannot 
deni.
Trapped behind bars watching dreams 
die.


Details | Rhyme | |

Suffering

One day I will look up to the sky and say
“God, I wish him well…”
But until that day, I’m buried here
Inside my living hell

Eventually, I’ll move past the pain
With a story left to tell
But right now, I am suffering
Once, I knew him very well

There will be no goodbye this time
It just simply has to end
There is no making up for lying
You should not betray a friend

The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do
Was through choked tears say
“I don’t love you….”
I didn’t have to be this way

Someday I know I will forgive
For forgiveness sets us free
And on that day I’ll truly live
Without regrets of broken dreams

But for now, I’ll remain silent
In quiet, dark despair
With the echoing reminders
Of a voice that didn’t care


Details | Free verse | |

Overwhelmed

Caught up in this circle sphere of integration; I swoon 
as the feeling of worthlessness overwhelms me. 
Nothing seems to remedy as this depression lulls me 
into its claws of wretchedness.
 Sweet and salty smiles that slink into your mind 
seems to melt the drowning feeling of despondency.  
Still there is the burning bubbling vibes of insanity that circumvents any relief.


Details | Rhyme | |

Evergreen

So stay the gold.
foolish thoughts wasted 
apon the old.

Your never alone except day and night.
did we forget the cause.
Or just grow tired of the fight.

Evergreen moments dont exist in books.
Or pictures trapped apon the page.
The wisdom of life is nothing without the rage.
 
Into a maze we go blind.
Far past  the moment.
Nothing is left to remind.


Motions are not feelings. 
Along with contracts and lies.
So many loser's  with there double dealings.

Taken from the city lights
I lost all that was obscene.
My pasion was turned into my evergreen.

Time you change all but me.
Casting many storms.
That turn  so very deep  within the sea.

Erased are thoose moments
apon the slate  is clean.
I wonder do you ever reflect my sweet evergreen.


Details | Rhyme | |

No Answer

 I try not to do it, but still I pick up the phone
 Then I dial the number I've known far too long
 And though it hurts to do it, I wait to hear the voice
 That never really answers, and I forget I had the choice
 Of course he knows who's calling, but he already forgot to care
 About everything he ever said, and everything we shared
 So I fell too hard this time, but really didn't I know
 When I said it was over, he'd so easily let me go


Details | I do not know? | |

What's Happening To Our Children?

Look into their hollowed eyes
and tell me you don't care.
There are so many hurting
and it's more than I can bear.

What happens to our young
that makes them crave the pain? 
How could they feel so helpless
that it drives them near insane? 

So many young are cutters.
They have a thirst for tears.
Where are all their parents
while they're out facing their fears? 

How can we save these children? 
It kills me when I know
that underneath they're dying
yet the scars they don't let show.

If I could give them strength
and help them see the way...
I'd trade them my tomorrows
if that gained them one more day.


Details | Quatrain | |

My Torment

A fleeting still small voice tries to warn me
A sudden overwhelming desire to run
The tell tale taste of metallic flakes
Means my nightmare has begun

Everything around takes on a ghostly pallor
A landscape of anguish and corrosion
A moment of silence before the violence
The flash of light, the brilliant explosion

The sound of the Sun fills my ears
Fear, my throat, though none escapes me
And paralyzed I clench my eyes
As my tormentor prepares to rape me

And it's endeavor is absolute
Consumption is its ultimate goal
It exists to chase me so it can erase me
Whilst feasting on my soul

And then that familiar salty smell 
The sudden rush of warmth so stings
Engaging me relentlessly
In vile unspeakable things

Over and over and over again
My limbs stretched and wrought
As it's teeth tear my bones bare
It's mind defiles my thoughts

And still wounds beget wounds beget wounds
As in the mouth of madness I suffer
And with every injury he just seems to be
Rougher and rougher and rougher

Then just as suddenly as it began it ceases
And for a moment I am clearer
And then the true horror of it all
Is revealed in a darkly lit mirror

There in front of me stands my destroyer
Face flush with it's fill of my pain
And I find that it's eyes and mine
My God, they’re one in the same


Details | Marsiya | |

I'm my Daddy Made Over

Dedicated to my Dad Jerry W. Niday 3/20/1952 - 6/18/2013


I am who I am because of him
He’s the reason for my son’s name
He gave me my courage & my strength
To stand tall even when standing wasn’t easy
Stand for the ones who can’t
To think and fend for myself
I’m my Daddy made over

Taught me to fight back 
To never back down
How to pick myself back up
When I’ve been knocked down
Fight for what I believe
I’m my Daddy made over

He gave me my stubbornness 
Gave me my pride
Gave me my temper
Taught me not to take crap
To speak my mind no matter who
Work for what I want
I’m my Daddy made over

How to keep my emotions in check
How to handle large amounts of pain
When in trouble he always had my back
He knew how my mind worked better than anyone
I got it from him
I’m my Daddy made over

Even though he’s gone
I’ll stand and continue on 
I may stumble I may fall 
May even get hurt along the way
But I’ll pick myself back up
I’ll dust myself off and stand tall
I’m honored and proud to say
I’m my Daddy made over


Sabrina Niday Hansel



Details | Free verse | |

The missing me

With shadows in the dark,
Facing atrocities of the cold,
Yet drenched in the sweat,
I walk down the street

Am bound to follow what others passed by,
Crime it is as if else I try,
Tears follow the path of my cheek,
And it’s the only way my eyes speak,
Lips of mine when turn dry.

I smile I really try to,
To be happy as if I was made to,
I speak of something I don’t know
But there’s what my heart knows,
That’s what my eyes ponder,
And that’s what untold but true,
Yes I know,
Yes I do,
I am missing me in me,
Yes I know,
Yes I do,
I am missing being me……….


Details | Elegy | |

I Need Your Help Daddy

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here

I can’t get back in control of my emotions 
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy

I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help 

Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance 
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help







Details | Couplet | |

One Toy Soldier

One Toy Soldier

Little toy soldiers are all put away
Training is over for this time of day.
Where do these little boys go now to play?
Away from their home to die in the fray.

Little toy weapons are no longer there
But boxed in attics by mothers with care--
Where keepsakes still hold a lock of his hair--
While rockets and missles challenge his fare.

Little toy bad guys and little toy good
Haze in the distance when misunderstood.
Where fall the lilies on long crates of wood
And each gave their all--as good soldiers should...

Little toy soldiers are coming back home...
Mothers are weeping, laments all alone
Where flags lie folded--the gift of Shalom...
As the long box is lowered...'neath the loam

One little toy soldier is placed on the top
Remembering All--so that None be Forgot.

   
deborah burch©                            
4/14/2012

  


Details | I do not know? | |

Still In Progress

How can I be selfless without being used? 
How can I be demanding without being so rude? 
How can I open up without closing back down? 
How can I speak if you don't hear a sound? 
How can I trust without being betrayed? 
Yet how could I leave... even after you stayed? 
But how can you love me when I won't let you in? 
So many questions.... where do I begin? 
-------- 
Memories now blurred, flying through my mind…… 
Now, I’m trying to repress the days of being youthful and blind. 
Every morning I pull on my armor, right from within, 
Preparing for a war, that I intend, to win. 
If my heart is my comrade and my mind is the enemy, 
Then in the midst of this battlefield, 
Life is the remedy…
 --- 
Trying to stay sane, knowing that although this is temporary, nothing is vain… 
Learning that there is always a purpose and people will try to corrupt us, and bring you great shame… 
Being told that ‘Victory isn't given to he who starts the race the strongest, but he who endures until the end.’ 
Trying to suspend you from learning to depend... on yourself, 
instead making you depend on the wealth, 
Of someone who doesn't even know who he is, 
while you’re grasping the stealth of your true identity, in your right hand, in your heart, the knowledge…
Never been withheld 
… 
.. 
. 
Feeling the world come crashing down on you, compacting into a mist of air so cool, 
The breeze passing right through, right into the depths of your pores, to ensue, 
The burning and broken and fragile pieces of the inhabitants of the earth from your birth til' now.. 
Physically becoming everything that you breathe, touch, conceive, munch, perceive, every aroma... 
And every great or insignificant trauma, reflecting off your skin oh so temporarily, the mark so paper thin… 
Physically, THAT is what you are… 
Because we only see the physical, right? 
Yet, behind every movie is there not a director… a cast? 
And behind every painting is there not an artist, combining colors and lines so vast? 
And behind every child is there not a journey, a past? 
...
That you did not walk, yet you know that it’s there, not by sight, scent, taste, touch, or hearing... But something inside you, that says it makes sense, KNOWS that all of that is there, 
KNOWING
...
..
.


Details | Bio | |

Last breath

Please forgive me
for i know not what i do


Details | Ballad | |

Unanswered Poems

Don’t send me more 
Of your tragic poems
My dear 
Covered in blood
Of your monthly flood
Of tears

Don’t send me more 
Of your angry poems
My dear
Carved with the knife
Of your molten spite
And fears

I’m just a peddler 
With a cart
Bringing discount words
To hearts
Broken hearts across the land
Woman left without her man
Broken hearts throughout the world
Anguished boy and crying girl

Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to read, for me to bear
Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to get from here to there

Don’t send me more
Of your bitter poems
My sweet
Forged in the fire
Of your endless ire
And grief

Don’t send me more 
Of your hopeless poems
My sweet
Ripped from the womb
Of the lonely room
You keep

I’m just a peddler 
With a cart
Bringing discount words
To hearts
Broken hearts across the land
Woman left without her man
Broken hearts throughout the world
Anguished boy and crying girl

Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to read, for me to bear
Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to get from here to there

(You see that shadow on the road
Trudging ‘neath its heavy load
A heart weighed down by sands of time
And your poems only make him cry
And he won’t add them to the pile
So he can walk another mile)

(And he won’t add them
To the pile
So he can walk 
Another mile)

Too heavy, dear 
Too heavy, dear
For me to read 
For me to bear

(They make him sad
Make him cry
Beat him down
Deep inside)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear

They make me sad
Make me cry
Feel as though 
I want to die

(And he won’t add them
To the pile
So he can walk 
Another mile)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear

(A heart weighed down 
By sands of time
And your poems 
Only make him cry)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear



Details | Narrative | |

Am I Turning into a Lizard Serial Killer

Hmmm, where do I start? With deep sighs, I am sighing right now.
I just finished burying 2 lizards, and my heart is heavy...

Let me back up a bit...bear with me if I might turn out to be confusing here,
but I just need to write this, release something, in some way
Although I must admit, this is not exactly what I had in mind to write for this day,
hopefully I can write something more decent later...

I have been wanting to write something for my brother since yesterday,
since February 26 is his 10th year death anniversary.
The words remained stuck in my heart, 'til I fell asleep.

Visited him again today, heard mass for him, 
ate a Chinese dinner with my parents and sister, went home.

I now needed dessert. Got a piece of Ferrero Rocher, but just one wouldn't do.
So I got a piece of Almond Roca this time and ate it while walking.

All this time, I have managed to keep my tears away
but maybe somehow, someway, if tears want to fall, they will find a way?

I walk to that area again as I ate that piece of chocolate-
when what do you know, what do you know??

Oh sighs.

I stepped on a lizard.  Again 

Yes. Almost exactly the Same area, tail falls off, and the lizard skitters away.

But. I did not slip this time. But, yes, I still screamed, scaring everybody again.

I. Could. Not. Simply. Believe. IT.

One month and 25 days after, I step on a lizard. Again.

Today, of all days. As if I needed more reason to be sadder.

This time around, I had the sense to try to find that lizard. 
I had to know if it lived, if it was okay.
I pushed away the nearby cabinet.
And there it was.
Rather, and there they were.

The lizard that I stepped on now
and the petrified remains of the lizard that I stepped on on new year's day...
the other one didn't live after all :(

I know it was that lizard, same area, no tail, who else could it be?
Survival mechanism, no match for my killer foot.

By this time, I am crying, sobbing. 
Seriously, the tears just start falling, and my heart so heavy.
And I know it's from the combination of so many things.
The day itself, what I had just done, just things running through me.

What broke my heart, was to see that lizard. 
I was wearing rubber shoes this time, last time I was wearing slippers.
And its guts had spilled from its sides. 
I couldn't help but keep on saying, "Oh, oh, oh lizard, I am so sorry"

I touched it feebly, and it was literally gaping its mouth.
I don't think I can ever forget that?
Such a small creature, gasping, with its insides out, 
its skin on its legs and body scraped.
In pain.
Dying.

And it was all my fault.

My sister was there with me, trying to help in her own way.

But yes, there's nothing you can really do...I didn't want to stress it even more,
and let death finish what I did. 


There's so much I can glean from this, and I want to ramble on, so badly
but I will try to stop myself from rambling too much.

I put the two lizards, along with a note, the dates when I stepped on them 
(ok, killed them), and placed them carefully in a chocolate truffle box.

I buried them and still feel so sorry.

In some ways, this is can be so funny, and just  freaky & crazy (what's new, this is me?)
What were the odds??? Same place, same thing happening.
And I can't help but roll my eyes at myself as well, just finding it so hard to fathom
how I stepped on not just one but Two lizards in just two months.

I bet that the lizards are all afraid of me now, 
saying how I am a lizard killer. A serial lizard killer.
MO: stepping on them while screaming, maybe my screams also killed them off?

I actually took photos of both lizards, I am not sure why though.
Oh dear God, help me, I am acting like one, even documenting them.

I tell you, as I watched that lizard die, I couldn't help but just also
think of St. Jude (for the impossible) and St. Francis of Assisi (for animals).

I know he was dying, but somehow, yes, prayers still comfort me.

I just feel so guilty, with this happening. 

I still can't help but cry for those lizards, death by me, for no reason at all,
no purpose served.

Animals, people....death.

I know it's all a part of life... 
but it still doesn't change the fact how death can change us
and of how I am responsible for two lizard deaths.
I know they were just small animals, but Still. They were living creatures.

Death can change us in small ways, some in big ways, negatively or positively.

It all boils down to death transforming us one way or another...

I won't expound on it anymore, this is too long,
but one of the ways I can think of comparing it to, is that of a chemical change,
maybe of the spirit, the soul? Not merely a physical change.


And we can never be the same. 






022720141207123552


Details | Dizain | |

Prolonged Exposure

I’ve covered the mirrors in our house
With colored sheets, while choking on grief
Black, blue, and green, to my bewildered spouse
Who has wondered what has become of me
And why suddenly I’ve begun mourning

He thinks that I’m a reflection of him
So he doesn’t notice the wounds within
The marring of my spirit’s complexion
Permanent, from his reoccurring sins
That have shaped me into his perfection

My face is clear so you would never guess
That person staring back isn’t me
Mirrors can’t show underlying distress
Only the lie he wants others to see
Not the despair slowly growing, steeping

Don’t look bewildered at my draping sheets
If you look, the nude is there, underneath
Reflecting the lie that it has become
Prolonged exposure to fisting complete
Now mourning the death of someone it loved


5/8-5/9/12
For "Your Birthday Suit" Contest


Details | Rhyme | |

The Mask We Choose


Page unwritten  hand never to be 
played.
Outcasts sitting at center stage.
When you never showed love.
It's no need to question why no one ever stayed.

And you never wondred and new better
to ask.
Cause people grew tired of the game.
And you of the mask.

Deep emotin with which like
overgrown children we play.
Gone in a second.
Was it love or just another day.

Torn sails endless flow.
Blocks and miles.citys and backroads.
Like any flock we scatter.
Only to lose track the futher we go.

Dellusion speaks well amongnst friends.
You see it's the last farewell.
But with truth in are thoughts 
everyone pretends.

Are you okay everyone does ask.
You give a expected reply.
And slip into oblivian slowley
fading behind your mask.


Details | Dizain | |

A Woman's Only Friend


Middle-aged woman puffs a cigarette right outside the grocery store entrance. Her dark eyes fall from mine while beads of sweat trench above furrowed brow. “Spare a few cents?” she asks under her breath. My muscles tense. Annoyed, I shake my head; no words are spoken. I toss a coin in her pail. Still smoking, She gestures with a nod. The hazy air hangs, weighted with her stench. As stone eyes glare, my son begins to cough nearly choking. Hard days have come to my family; life has knocked us down. Humiliated, I beg to survive, you see; even through strife, we had love but no home. So forgive my intrusion today as you hurry by. It’s a nasty habit. You don’t approve. My kids are gone; last week, the state removed them. Now, this smoke seems like my only friend. God took my spouse last year. I can’t pretend life’s good. Forgive me. I, too, disapprove. By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, July 27, 2012 for You Don't Understand Contest (Cyndi MacMillan)


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Turbulence

The voices grow louder, Intensifying with emotion, anger lining every aggressive word. My insides squeeze tighter as the vitriol poisons my mind, How does such hostility exist? As the sound of hatred deepens, The feelings strengthen their grip, like a vice, So tight, I can no longer breathe All the negative emotions I have ever felt, fill me, Threatening to overflow. So long have they been banished… Enough. No more! My mouth opens, An earsplitting scream of pain and suffering shatters the silence, Sobs of sorrow and grief wrack my body, Murderous shrieks of anger and hate, Wretched cries of self-pity and self-loathing, Poison the air. Now, free of these emotions. But the monster still exists Within the dark depths of my mind.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Cutting Class


With every cut she makes.
She loses herself deeper within the pain.
Cutting taking pills to keep numb.

Hididng scars under long sleves.
Blending in praying never to stick out.
She wishes to be invisable within the halls.

Avioding eye contact with the popular crowd.
hiding in plain sight.
A worn composition book bares the agony
of her teenage years.

Every scar holds a untold story.
Past flings with false promises of hope.

Dark shirts and darker thoughts.
She lives in a prison yet has no dellusion of release.

Red stains the ivory skin.
She feels the pains warmth only to
feel it fade again.

Head down like a ghost she 
does vanish in the crowd. 
Slicing into the flesh to bring 
warmth to the cold empty shell.

Every page speaks of angst with a sweet
passion filled twist.
Misery of many held by few.

Scars of her time.
Marking every moment and year.
Cutting for a escape.

She's stuck in a sea of people.
Wishing to be anywhere but here.


Details | Haiku | |

Silence

Silence can deceive                                        
One's quiet to understand
Another to destroy


Details | Rhyme | |

Winter's Relief

Let winter come 
And freeze the sky 
No more will shadows cast  
Let showers turn to heaps of snow 
With gardens hidden deep 

Let working cease 
Migration fly  
Let herds to safety dash 
Farmers idle, fires glow 
No fields left to reap 

My picket fence
Blockaded high
No perfect cobbled path
Let winter come, and snowstorms blow   
I need some time to sleep  

By: Kyle Ezra Kriticos


Details | Imagism | |

Guilty Reflection

Looking dead at me in this smeared mirror...
a lost man
tormented
face red
brittle
and teared

stacking excuses 
the longer I stare
this stress abuses 
my conscience with a glare

a guilty reflection warns
my mind is the prison I fear
as I long to escape 
from the  hell I dwell in
right here

who have I become? 
what have I done right?
crossroads appear suddenly 
as fog fills the mirror tonight

darkness owning the room,
prefers I suffer slow
so I proceed with speed 
because it’s the only way I know

tasteless stories
flood my life’s hard bound chapters 
while this smeared mirror reflects tears
dripping from a face 
which was once filled with laughter. 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Tranquillizers




                             THE HOSPITAL FAIRYLAND

They walked together, hand in hand,
Into life’s magical fairyland.
Where there was no trouble, where there was no pain.
Where life could really, begin all over again.
Where were no men in little white coats.
Forcing you all, to stuff drugs down your throats.
Forcing you to do, what you didn’t want to.
Telling you it was all for the best, for you,
People shouting, people crying.
Most of the people talking about dying.
What is this hell, we’ve all come to?
It’s called coming off drugs, we all have It to go through.
Where will it end, what will we do?
None of us really, has a clue.
We are given more pills, we are told, we have to take.
To the men in white coats, life’s a piece of cake.
We are the prisoners, they guard the doors.
Some try to creep out, on all fours.
Into hell and back, we go for a ride.
Eventually if we’re lucky, we come out the other side.
Where we can walk, hand in hand.
Into life’s magical Fairyland.
Where there is trouble, where there is pain.
But at least we can start, living again.





Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Stronger Than She Thinks.....

She is a loving mother, 
 her pain is like no other.
Kids taken all at once away.
 A price too steep to have to pay.

Holds her head up high, 
 when all she wants to do is die.
She thinks her pain is masked, 
 but as you see, its no easy task.

She's strong and still fights, 
 even when they say she has no rights.
She dreams of seeing her kids, 
 trying hard to keep the pain hid.

She goes to court and really fights, 
 only to come home alone and cry at night.
Still, she continues this uphill battle.
 Her confidence, they constantly rattle.

Goes to work and tries to smile, 
 as her heart is breaking all the while.
Wish I was a much better sister, 
 who called and let her know I missed her.

I had my own tumultuous issues, 
 it was she who really needed the tissues.
I just had a crappy, low life man.
 By her side her family should stand.

Instead they all give her grief.
 Do they not see her pain will never be brief?
No, they all say they are sorry, but they're full of lies.
 Didn't they know it was her LIFE in demise?

A better sister, I'll try to be.
 Her back she never turned to me.
I hope she knows she's loved and cared for.
 Her smile I'd like to see more.

I know that's no easy task.
 But that I will still ask.
As they push her to the brink,
 She's stronger than she ever thinks.




A combined effort for Kristy.....


Details | Rhyme | |

blood transfusion



Details | Free verse | |

The Beauty In Futility

Futility
my heart breathes its last breath
Embraces its own death
Ready to be reborn 
and made anew

Can’t live a lie
Refuse to “do”
and I’ll DIE....
Focus now on why I’ll live 
And never touch the sky. 

I have to forget you
I have to reject you 
But I will never love anyone 
like I loved you.....

I heard you whisper 
and you never knew it
I wiped the tears from your eyes 
But you couldn’t feel it

You’re lost and you’ll never find you
And neither will I 
And I’m so sorry--
but I’m NOT. 

I'll attempt to reset
Try to forget
But you know, I never will. 

Be my dirty little secret 
My very worst-kept secret 
Sweet, smooth, beautiful poison 
My infernal and endless attraction 
towards complete and utter self-destruction 

I fell in love with the devil
And it will take one heck of an angel
To save me from the likes of you....

My addiction 
my confusion
my nightmare
my dream never to come true

Oh, I’ll never forget the times
we never shared
I’ll never forget 
how you were never there

Always me, the stars, and tears
And I ask you,
what kind of life is THAT?

I have to face the facts 
I don’t know what happens now
but it happens without you. 

The stains will always be there
the scars will never fade
But the memory of you----
it HAS to. 

I could carry the torch forever
But it would only consume me
I can’t cry another tear for you
Or I’ll dry up completely

It doesn’t affect you
and you never deserved me

You’ll go on with your life, too
All, all alone
Because you’ll only ever be in love
with you. 


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

After the Party

It' over, and...
The last guest's gone home
Now you sit there, all alone
Exhausted, drained...
The clean-up can wait
Till tomorrow brings
A brand new date

The pain returns,
Though you'd had a break,
As if you had suddenly
Become awake...

Dishes and glasses,
Spills and more,
Give credence
To your company,
That have passed 
Through your door...

You sit a spell,
Weigh the odds,
Was it fun?
A gift of the Gods?

Now you are sad,
For you are alone again,
Your only companion
Your diary pen...

Too tired to write,
Suddenly it seems
a waste,
All your thoughts
Between covers
Stuck together
With emotional paste

So to your lonely bed
You crawl again
Wishing it was like an older time ,when
A warm body awaited you,
With arms outstretched,
And each night anew
Sweet nectar of love
Shared by our lips,
And not this loneliness
That at your heart rips

Someday, I hope,
Someday I pray,
It will turn out,
Another way,
For loneliness a bitter pill
To swallow,
With prospects of more pain,
With each day to follow.


Details | Rhyme | |

Plockton - Wester Ross

The greatest holiday gift I ever received  
Goes back so many, many years
Before my life became turmoiled
And before my tears for fears

I was a child like many out there
Torn, strewn and split of kin
Mother and father in differences
Confused at seven, wearing their same skin

For I was one of the lucky ones
To a Highland Estate I would go
It's on the west coast of Scotland
Where my holidays desired me so

Secretly I internally smiled
For a whisper of where I was heading
To live with a movie star hero
No longer my life was in dreading

We were picked up by a man so fine
His manners were an absolute joy
Regimental he was in his approach
To me, just a seven year old boy

We travelled through the village of Plockton
Crystal clear waters edged to it's shore
I knew from this very moment
Being here ebbed previous family sores

On entering his house I was in awe
Movie pictures came to my view
They were images of James Bond
At seven I was totally through

A voice called to me
Hey James! sit down and I'll tell you me
Still in circles in walking awe
This is what he told thee

My name is Patrick Dalzel Job
In the Second World War I served
But this recognition I bestow
Humbles me to it's deserve

This honour that's been given
Was blessed by a colleague in war
What desired Ian Fleming to be so striven
Possibly, what we were fighting for

We served on the same destroyer
Fighting to make the future free
His tribute, in his novels I became
James Bond, it's incredibly me





Not many seven year olds have stayed with James Bond.
This seven year old Scot's boy has, maybe I learnt?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Dalzel-Job


Details | Free verse | |

Tumbleweeds


Memories tumble through my mind, some, missing for a while.
I try to fill in the blanks. Others, I sweep into the corners.
You know, the ones that are easier forgotten.
Tumbleweeds...my memories have become tumbleweeds.
I take snapshots of the cherished ones, giving them a home
before they blow away in the savage wind.
"Did I tell you my mom liked to dance?"
"Yes", I remember.
I hear the music, her long hair bouncing with each step.
She doesn't dance anymore.
Moments gone...memories fleeting.
"Did I tell you my dad played drums?"
"Yes", I remember. 
I hear rat-a-tat-tat in my head.
I used to sing at the top of my lungs while he played.
He never seemed to mind my shrill, little girl voice.
I miss him, I miss his drums. Music is not the same.
I close my eyes and another memory blows through spaces.
My brother is racing his bike down the street FAST.
He is about ten, all legs in his shorts.
"Where are you going?" I call after him, too late.
He is gone and I wonder if he was ever here.
Some do go astray I remind myself.
Missing memories...missing love.
"Wait, come back", I yell. I'm still here.
Ruminating, I ask myself if we ever know the ones we love.
No, not really. I remember.
Frantic, I reach for the tumbleweeds.
I reach for my two earthly fathers who are long gone...
I see them. Then, they blow away, missing again.
I chase them futilely. The savage wind still blows.
Across grains of desert sand, I will never know why.
Tumbleweeds...my memories have become tumbleweeds.

By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
March 2, 2012
Second Place in Chris Aechtner's Let the Masks Fall Contest




Details | Lyric | |

Scream, Gone

Stomp, stomp, stomp, Scream, scream, scream, Before the stomp, stomp, stomps, He, she, they screamed screamed, And screamed, at I, Scream at I which the thoughts, Of comeback come near, near, and nearer, Stomp, stomp, stomp, I hear the stomps, they come closer, And closer and closer, Stomp, stomp, stomp My heart beating faster, faster, faster! The room, spinning, spinning, spinning! Times going, gone, gone! Stomps coming closer, faster! The screams getting louder, louder! Stomp, scream, stomp! Nothings more worse than when you see the, He, she, they behind the stomping of the stomps, The screaming, of the screams, The fire, hell, saddened in the eyes, Is what hurts most, rather than the, Stomp, stomp, stomp, Or the, Scream, scream, scream.


Details | Acrostic | |

Five Letters

These are the five letters you left me with:

So you are leaving, walking away,
Old wounds grate against silence.
Realizing a moment too late, what’re you doing,
Reading through all those beautiful lies,
You never meant what you said.

And, I read them, over and over again
but five small letters never seemed so big. 


Details | Ballad | |

Memories

Thinking back on you and I
It doesn’t seem that long
It’s hard for me believing how
The years have come and gone
Everything about you still
So fresh inside my mind
Precious memories locked away
But never left behind
I shared with you my daytimes
But my nights I spent alone
It tore my heart to know your nights
Were not spent on your own
I knew the risks involved
Because you wore a wedding ring
But I never knew the pain for me
That wedding band would bring
For years my heart was frozen
From a love that it once knew
But I knew my heart had melted
When I fell in love with you
With you and I together
So many things were shared
But most importantly
I never said how much I cared
I tried to hide this love from you
Afraid to let you see
Not knowing of the child we’d made
Growing inside of me
I knew I’d never be with you
I never could have stayed, because
We took away this tiny life
That you and I had made
There’s nothing else you could have done
On you I lay no blame
But now my life feels empty
Full of sadness, loss and shame
I would give my all to spend
Another night with you
For you to hold me in your arms
And say you love me too
But if this never happens
Then I want to tell you still
I loved you then, I love you now
I know I always will...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Free verse | |

Forgotten You

Forgotten you
As your mind collects the memories of yesterday
Forgotten You
Epiphanies tie into knotty strings of realization
That very moment. . . 
You merely exist

Back then. . .those smiles
Those. . .distant laughs
Some you remember by name
Gone now maybe
Like the exhalation of the wind
Others dispersed in the world of arbitrary happening
Like leaves from falling, man-made trees
There is no doubt that they have
Forgotten you

Activate the bomb
Ignite the fuse
And you’re on next year’s history book
Never forgotten
But drained of all remaining good

That smile you gave
That happiness
The warm embrace so long ago
Salt-coated with piles of rubbish
Over last remaining mental spurts of comfort
Evil, evil, evil, evil, EVIL. . .
Always absorbed and remembered
. . .though never forgiven. . .

All good and gracious sentiments
Packed up in a box set nonchalantly in Downstair’s storage
. . .that chair with the broken leg in the corner of the room
That mangled cobweb holding a dangling, lifeless spider
A drowned sailor’s hat drifting through the current of the ocean
The single tear from a soldier’s vigilant, memory-stricken eye
The frustrating thoughts of a mute
The unchanged. . .HATED deformations

Forgotten you. . .
One soul brings to light weary, unthought-of happenings
Wedged deep into what she can only imagine
With not even a hint of understanding
. . .of the pain. . . .of the bewildering distortions
Of the ugly. . .
One soul merely vomits sickly verse after verse

As humanity embraces its downfall
The poet hangs onto her unjustifiable, forgotten. . .
Words


Details | Lyric | |

Normal To Me

This isn't just a poem This isn't just another emotion This is me, these are my thoughts The Imagery is my sight, And The Allegories are my Life I'm lonely, There is just me But there's so many people around but no one can hear my loudest screams Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me I'm torn, I'm Cut Part of my heart stabbed, and then taken from me The Search for my innocence, Is like a moa hunt Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Laughing and Jokes all directed towards me Just to Hurt me Cover all of the Halls "Fag, Emo, Queer" Words I too often know Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Curling her hair putting on her makeup "You're worthless and nothing to Me" Says the so-called all-loving-one As she screams: "Why am I not Pretty" Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me This is not just a poem not just some words my pen cries with each words But this is Just a Glimpse Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me


Details | Ballad | |

I Cry

I lay awake all through the night
While others lay asleep
As I think of you and I 
The tears roll down my cheek

I cry because I love you
I cry because I care
But most of all the reason why I cry
Is you're not there

My heart is torn and bleeding
A wound I cannot heal
And in my eyes you see you the hurt
And pain I can’t conceal

I wonder if you think of me
When you are all alone
I wonder if you miss the nights of passion 
We have known

I wonder if the smile you wear
Is just a fake disguise
I wonder if it's me you're seeing
When you close your eyes

You never will be mine again 
But still I won't regret
And pray you will remember
What I never will forget...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | I do not know? | |

The Beast Within

Where does my conscious go, when demons raise their fiery eyes, 
They steal my very soul, killing all which is sanctified,
Engulfed by instant fears, no longer hearing loved ones cries, 
The beast within appears, telling me I am justified,

I have already lost, no reprieve from my mortal sin, 
All reason now is blocked, as I become the beast within,
No pity can I feel, as I make my grandiose stand, 
Yes the horror is real, as I destroy all that I can,

Where do my feelings go, when demons raise their snarling lips, 
Bringing an all new low, into my life now torn to bits,
Certain of being right, I flail and thrash as if in fits, 
I threaten and I strike, with great fury the demon spits,

Yet I still stand and shout, my ugly hate and derision, 
Accusing lies said out loud, revolting words - degradation,
Just look at what I’ve done, I scream my blatant confession, 
Ready to blame anyone, for my evil molestation,

Where does my true love go, when demons raise their gruesome head, 
Destroying all I know, without slightest hesitation,
There is no where to hide, hideous deeds - infinite dread, 
Shame crushes senseless pride, nothing left but devastation,

Recoiling in horror, reality enters the room, 
Now begins the torture, judgment of my now mortal soul,
The evil that is me, my conscious has become my tomb, 
I look and all I see, marks my spirit and takes its toll,

Where does salvation go, when demons raise their awful screech, 
Making damnation grow, as dark shadows envelope me,
How can I persevere, and escape from this demon’s reach, 
For he is always near, and may kill eventually,

Cold and chilling insight, I now realize what is at stake, 
And the one path which might, protect the ones I truly love,
But how can I just leave, this world I worked so hard to make, 
And cause even more grief, for family and God above. 

Where does my resolve go, when demons raise their deadly claws,
Tearing at all I know, stealing my conscious care and pride,
I can’t run anymore, all is destroyed everything lost,
Now beaten tired and sore, I’ve lost my path into the light,

Who can I reach out to, when all I love recoil in fear, 
Eyes beseech black and blue, where once was love - now only hate,
Yes I know - I’m the cause, the reason for each falling tear,
And while demons give pause, I must face my terrible fate.


Details | I do not know? | |

Stolen Innocence

The sexual abuse of children is all to common these days. The effects are everlasting. These crimes effect more than 
just the victim. I am a member of a poetry site (Poet's Workshop) and we were challenged to write a poem about such 
abuse. It is our way of spreading the word, helping to fight crime against our children, and help support the victims. 
They need to know they are not alone, it is not their fault and to help them to heal! This was my submission. Not for 
the easily disturbed, this is real people, it happens all the time!

Stolen Innocence

Holding back the tears,
An innocent Angel suffers in silence.
Trembling hands and aching heart;
Anticipating the eminent violence.
Lord, please let the day last
and keep the sun from falling
Protect her from the night
When evil comes calling
Her prayer is unanswered,
Under the covers she weeps.
A twist of the door knob;
Into her room he creeps.
She sees the beastly silhouette
From beneath her cotton sheet,
Tiny fists clinch, writhing in pain
Her agony; his desire is replete
His words were gentle; not threatening
She believed his love was true
When he said my little princess,
This is what all DaddyÍs do.
MommyÍs are jealous of this little game
That only DaddyÍs get to play
You can never tell a living soul
They wonÍt believe you anyway
And so she kept this little secret.
And kept her bruises well concealed.
She knew that Mommy would be hurt
If the truth were ever revealed
The late night games became more frequent
Often more than once a night
Love should not cause such pain
There is no way this could be right
She called her Mother to her room
Mommy, I think you need to know
DaddyÍs done some awful things
He touched me down below
He told me never to tell you
That youÍd just be angry with me
Oh I am so very sorry
Mommy can you forgive me
That very instant, an arrow pierced her heart
Her knees buckled, she dropped to the ground
Speechless, immersed with guilt
Rage, Anger, Contriction all compound
The light inside her died that day
Unable to protect her own creation
Two spirits broken, one by the hands of another
And one sentenced by her own damnation


Details | Quatrain | |

Average Age 19

Once again, the powers that must
In rise again in what we trust
An overseas conflict, another war
Just what in the hell are we fighting for

Families are asking, Korea has just passed
Generations again reft, how long will it last
A country in need, to rebuild again
Flags at half mast, in wind and rain strain

Once again into war, sent by the Washington Post
To send back reports to hit home the most
Military observers were the first to be sent in
Another chapter of man entering existing sin

I'm witnessing our ariel power, Lam Son 719
US planners determine their incursion, saying all will be fine
Along the Mekong River, we'll carpet bomb their supply trail
Tons of munitions and napalm, this spread surely cannot fail

Many sorties are being flown, for the wounded and the dead
Whilst Nixon and his cronies, aren't thinking with their heads
The news of losses has reached me, nineteen have been killed
Eleven missing, fifty nine wounded, more American blood spilled

Seven fixed wing aircraft, more sons in action loss
Whilst back at home more protests, fading the dyeing's gloss
To to this job that I do, I was never prepared for this
To witness such bloody scenes, and ignore that life is bliss

How can I write about a soldier, whose name I'll never know
Killed at nineteen years old, his family he'll never see grow
Or even explain to his parents, when carried from the AH-1
His body bullet riddled and limp, when lifted it bloodily run

I never went back to the theatre, called the Vietnam War
Having witnessed the wanton killing, what were we fighting for
This colonial conflict that started, us on the side of France
So many came back as strangers, many to live in trance





James Fraser's entry into the contest " WORLD OF WAR: VIETNAM "



Details | Rubaiyat | |

I Must Go

---inspired by a story character of mine
------------------------------------------------------------------
Losing reality, losing my mind I try to stay with you but I'm falling behind This fate's going nowhere I'm left hurting inside Tomorrow's not coming What are you becoming Nothing is out there Pain and suffering forthcoming Nowhere to hide, I'm on my own Feeling so empty and alone Your hatred shines bright Your heart, a deadened stone This pain you inflict upon me Hurts greater than I'll ever let you see But still I love you so Though I know you can-will never love me I just hope you know That even though the love I want from you will never be so I'll always love you But now, before it hurts anymore, I must go...


Details | Rhyme | |

Entwinement

Bleeding around me are empty faces
Sad, drooping spaces, crumpled places
Melancholy for the light of new places
Stuck in time, frozen in time
The pangs of lonesome fill their sagging hearts
Frowning forever, frowning forever
Let me stare blankly at the stained wall
Nothing at all…nothing at all

The mind is a scary place 
The mind is a distraction
From the reality ever binding
Curbing every reaction
The mind is overwhelming
The mind is oh so sad
When we turn to larvae and graves
It’s an never-ending...
Entwinement 

Found myself looking through the tiny hole in the wall
Watching you fall, watching you fall
Scared for the neck that would break us all
You shuddered my blood…shuddered my blood
I met the eyes of the souls of your feet
Twitching and swinging…unfeeling…unfeeling
Please allow me this sole ease:
Just be with me... lie with me

The mind is a scary place 
The mind is a distraction
From the reality ever binding
Curbing every reaction
The mind is overwhelming
The mind is oh so sad
When we turn to larvae and graves
It’s an everlasting...
Entwinement

-inspired by Mad World by Gary Jules-
-also inspired by the stop motion film: The Man in the Lower-Left hand Corner of the Photograph-


Details | Lyric | |

Godly Illusion

Fake face Fake smile Fake voice I'll run a mile Yes master No master Of course master Now master Gothic witch Gothic dream Your downfall In my smile Eyes radiating False adoration Your spell Oh so vile Empty words Empty syllables I'll empty out Your lies Cold iron Strong will My claws ripping At your heart Claws ripping Blood dripping My icy, gleeful smile Fake face Smashed Fake smile Thrashed Fake voice Silenced You don't fool me Anymore


Details | Prose Poetry | |

a fair day

It was a fair day for silence.

The sun had risen up courtly, almost mechanically,
Like a marionette on the strings of a puppeteer.
With the sun came Heat, wrathful to have been woken at such an hour.
As if avenging its early rise, 
Heat caused oppression, 
Discomfort and confusion 
Upon the innocent day.

It was a fair day for exclusion.

Only one was oblivious to the relentless heat,
He sat there motionless, lifeless and corpse-like.
They would glance at him nonchalantly.
He was just a piece of the scenery, 
Always had been there, 
Always would be there, 
Invisible.

It was a fair day for neglect.

Some say once he had been aware,
But life had hollowed him out, 
Left him a shell, 
Unmoving, 
Unblinking.
The day progressed, the light dimmed, 
It was as if fate and destiny had led him to this moment.
If anyone had cared to look, they may have noticed a glint in his eye.
He liked the sunset.

It was a fair day for an end.

The sun slowly made its way back home.
Heat gradually left, bored with the sun’s absence.
Silence was once more.
The sun closed its eyes. 
The moon began its regime over the obeying night sky.

It was a fair day for sweet nothing.

He still sat there, 
But no one knew.
So was he still alive, 
If no one saw him die?


Details | Blank verse | |

Anthem of a Hollow Man

I, the empty man,
The hollow man,
Exist here in the shadows
Of twilight.  My senses dead,
Burned out of me along with
The tattered, wasted rags 
That were the only remnant
Of my tortured soul.
Like hellfire, the flames
Roared through my Self,
Consuming all there was and
Leaving naught but the acrid
Stench of a being destroyed.
My eyes now stare out from an 
Empty shell that once held so
Much life and promise.
A vessel that once was filled with
Hopes and dreams of happiness.
Those are all gone now, replaced
With a fathomless nothingness.
Black is the void that dwells within
Now. It swallows all light and laughter
And echoes back a harsh mockery of 
Life.  Still the fires smolder, eating away
At the foundation, the supports, moving 
Itself toward total collapse.  When it does,
I will become the nothingness that I 
Contain.  Swallowed by the void, with 
Nothing left but my anguished screams, 
Echoing into oblivion.


Details | Free verse | |

Alive

And we are left here Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk We are the forgotten I am watching the others grow rotten But I am cleansed and raw with glee Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE… I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds My definition of true finds… I smile when any possible hope arrives Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside I am amused of it all…I can’t stop laughing As bitter tears began to fall I HATE ALL OF YOU… I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL… But I love that I can take anything From the nothing we have all been labeled The sick, the low…the mentally unstable Watch me roll up in a ball A naughty tease to death’s lull I love your silence… I love your intense fall And we are more alive than any of you We are crazed by your belligerence Aching to be emotionless SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE SHARE IT… Give us something to be left with So the others can die As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror Listen to her laughter—do you hear her? She watches and waits To find her maggots have grown wings… Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly We are more alive than any of you Though quickly we die


Details | Rhyme | |

The Illusion of Magic

It's the empty spaces
That we long to fill
It's our lifelong dreams
Lying unfulfilled

The apathy takes hold
The caring ceases
A semblance of a normal life
Lies at our feet in pieces

When the magic no longer amazes
And charm has all but died
Nothing left to hold onto but hope
And give it another try


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Unsettled

My eyes grow heavy,
Yet I can't sleep,
My soul feels weighted,
But I can't weep

I dream on
Without the hope I need
I need to talk
Yet my tongue's not freed

I clutch my pillow,
I cling to the thought
Of how we met,
And why we fought

It all seems so silly now,
And I wonder why
We could let this stand
And let love die

Pure "saving face"
Holds me back,
Especially since
Your verbal attack

Being a person,
No easy thing,
You've left your nest
And the protection of
Your mother's wing

Should i call?
Or hold out?
Be the weak one?
Or stand and shout?

Oh, Lord, please guide me
Let me know
The way to be...

I roll over in bed again,
And turn on the light,
But light doesn't help.
I have no sight...

Indecision means inaction
I start to groan,
To lose your love,
A fear greatly grown

Turn off the light,
Again to bed
In many ways,
Wishing I was dead.


Details | Rhyme | |

Beyond My Mind

Blue or green? The color of the sea, Going up and down the waves, To be my unexpected mood, Sweet or sour the feeling of me. The question of my mind hitting it through the divine, The passion of art inside a deep mind, With full of imaginations, Hitting me through left and right. Perspective comes along with me, Seeing it in my mind, Looking at the blank paper, My emotions run down the pages, Forgetting my visions along, Looking down on paper, Loosing my focus , Is getting hard to draw. Speaking with my wild heart wide open, Thinking of the world we live in today, Standing amongst the people not knowing what to say, Hearing the music flowing into my ears, Beating myself inside these walls of hate, Wanting my eyes to cry with full of tears, Hating to be on this earth, Seeing people fade away, Sinking through lies in my face, Stabbing me in the back when I need them the most, Seeing people with unwanted faith through their eyes, Anger comes my way, Looking down at the world with full of questions in my head, Going crazy with frustration and confusion of me questioning God, Deep inside my heart is burning with poison, Is breaking me apart like glass, At peace without a path in mind, Falling down somewhere here that I never belong, I'm not perfect yet, I like to lead not to follow others. Life is like a tree that grows inside me, Leafs on the tree come and go like people in my life, Taking the road of life, Things can change in a minute, When I look away, My goals would fade away, Going back letting noting stand on my way, Trying harder to focus on my goals, Looking around with a smile on, Reaching my goals slowly without a distraction.


Details | I do not know? | |

Hypochristians

They say to worship to get back into church
That all I need do is fall to my knees and repent
Then all this personal pain he will prevent
To kneel and pray to “The Soveriegn God”
Well, my knees are bruised and scabbed 
Where is this God of yours I ask
Guess I’m not really a fan of his work
As I walk through this existence 
Sufferring is all I see
War in the desert neverending
Children dying so young
Little boys and girls raped by the clergy
Destruction Hate Crimes against humanity
Where is this God of yours I ask
They say Christianity is the way 
Well, bullsh!t! That’s what I say.


Details | Free verse | |

Hate-filled Love

I hate your touch and your smile.
Wicked little creature.

I hate your blue eyes and brown hair.
Sinful hate filled liar.

I hate your voice and your scent.
Rotten two-timer.

I hate you everything you do for what you did.
But we loved and touched, smiled, talked and connected physically.

You lied about our moments spend, 
you can't look me in the eyes.

You lead me on and stole my youth, 
but don't have the nerve to speak to me now.

I hate your beauty and your thievery;
but loved the way you made me fill.

I hate that you now do the same to another girl;
your lies blind her.

I hate the diseases you carry; 
love the infection you gave.

I love you and can't let go,
hate because I’m smarter than this.

I hate this poem because I think of you with every word...
Your eyes, your smile, your hair, your skin, and your kiss.

Most of all...

I love you for the time we had.
I hate you because you don't want me now. 


Now what???


Details | Rhyme | |

The End

I listen for the sound of the key in the gate
The kids grow pensive and I grow brave
For I know that the jingle of the key means one thing
He has come back tonight to reign as the king
 
He will order and dictate, he will rule and remain
He will torture our souls he will kill our each dream
He stands with his hands in his pocket so calm
I look up at him and wait for his demand
 
He says he is tired he wants some peace
So we all go to the room and allow him ease
Yet he still comes there with a whip in hand
Demanding our breathing so loudly they sound
 
I apologise for us all, but to deaf ears they fall
He is inebriated I see, but still has all this gall
I will not let him hit again I vowed
So today it will end I solemnly said
 
I aim the trigger at his temple, no other
And I lead him away from my son and daughter 
He starts crying and stumbling, apologising and promising
I laugh at his cowardice, his lying and his cheating
For today it will end I stoically attest
For today I lay him down to rest


Details | Bio | |

I Close My Eyes

I close my eyes
And back home I am
Looking out those
Century old windows
My inner tears
Would burst a dam

I remember every crack 
In those walls,
Every floor board
Prone to creak
But the happiness
I had there,
Is something I can
now but seek...

Home of fifty years
Saw my tears and my joy
From infancy to adulthood
And the blessed life I'd had there
Since I was but a boy

A place where several
Family members had died
In the old fashioned way
And all those tears I cried...

Not in some remote hospital,
But where they wanted to be
And I'd suely love to die there,
If it was up to me..

But, it was my destiny
To come here, 
In this desolate place
Certainly I'm not that happy
But it's something I must face

I made a mistake,
I should have died there
Where I had lived so happily
And now, I barely care,
What becomes of me
My life is over
Save but a bit of love,
Still directed at me
And each day I wonder,
What do these people see in me?


Details | Rhyme | |

Creating happiness

One I was in a stage of hopelessness and lived in this very miserable lodge in Fremantle. I wrote this while I was there mongst crime and misery

Creating Happiness

It’s a block of flats, five stories high
In each room there’s a story
Could be a tale of loneliness
It could be one of glory
But mostly I see poor damned souls
Who have no place to go
In many of these rooms, my friends
No happiness does glow.

Well me, I’ve lived here for a while
I have my little room
It’s where I sit and write my poems
And cut through all the gloom
By banging on my old guitar
And singing out my songs
Or playing my harmonica
Sometimes the whole day long.

It seems the music calms the souls
Of all these hurting guys
Cause most of them that live in here
They never pass me by
Without a wave and a friendly smile
Maybe this be my thing
Amidst all of this misery
Some joy in here to bring.


Details | Free verse | |

Lies

LIES

A web that has no ending
For I can not stop 
Even though I try
Something is wrong with me
Because my judgement is blinded
And I can not see
Every time I make the promise
To quench the desire to mislead
It only adheres for a short moment
Until the web starts to bleed 

The deciet of my words
My voice has no truth
It is an addiction 
A never ending piercing thorn
It is like a paper cut 
That always hurts to the touch
And I am that paper cut
That hurts everyone I touch

Why can't I control this monster inside
It is destroying my very being
It is grasping my loved ones by the heart
Tearing their view of me completely apart
I wish that this was just a dream
That this is not as bad as it seems
And that I am not pushing everyone away

Acceptance is my aime
To be looked upon higher
Eventhough, I have everything I have always visioned
This thing still wants to feed 
I have tried so many times to depress it
So many promises and pleads
To the one above
Whom I know that shows only love
The one who can crush this irritating bug

It yearns so badly to come alive
That I can not contain it
Eventually, it slowly engulfs my soul
Like fumes from a old kerosene heater
Taking away my breath

Some days I try to start a fresh
But, within hours and without even knowing 
Out comes my darkened words
My mind has no control
I Have No Control
Only Lies have Control



Details | Concrete | |

Tears are out of place


Pushed aside...

Like day abandons night...

Like night abandons day...

I reach inside restore...

Inner strength...
Inner pride...
...repair pain...

Cast out painful words...
Slice deep, Slash chore...

Truth revealed...
...blood is thicker than water...

Shadows surface...Soul in tears...

...Into the night this heart falls...

...Injustice falls within...

...Where is my strength...
...I clamber toward your trace step...

...My courage turns to you now...

...Deep within another lesson learned...

...Tears are out of place...

...Somewhere my sun is shining...

...Into this silence I hide...

...retreat all feelings displaced...

...My heart abandoned...

...This hurt...self repent...

With unknown limit...

Mighty wisdom grace...

...Tears are out of place...
...Tears are out of place...
...Tears are out of place...


Details | Rhyme | |

Take Me Away

I dream in darkness.
I sleep to die.
Erase my sorrow.
Erase my lies.
Our burning ashes,
Blacken the day.
A world of nothingness.
Take me away.


Details | Rhyme | |

Gel-Pen

False cheer shines through the glittery red ink,
Letter after colourful letter,
Hopes and dreams are drained down the sink,
Letter after colourful letter...

Dead inside is this empty life of lies,
Letter after colourful letter,
Woods are filled with broken cries
Letter after colourful letter...

'Tomorrow' will never come, hope will never shine,
Letter after colourful letter,
I will never be fine-
Letter after colourful letter...

A flutter of hope, sputters and dies
Letter after colourful letter.
The smiles of the gel-pen always lies
Letter after colourful letter.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Dad

It never quits
My dad's h i t s
I see myself in the mirror
And I am to become
But I just go numb
It hurts to see
What all he has done to me
It never fails
When he hears me wail
It never quits
My dad's h i t s


Details | Senryu | |

Slave and Can't Help It

Hidden for so long,
Because of Society.
Someone, no one knows!


Details | Shape | |

Layers Of The Ocean

.      .     I   .    .      .      .        .       I      .     .     .     .     .    G    .           .              .
          P    N                                M    L                             U    H
       P          E                          S         E                         A         T
   A                S                    .                S                   L               E                  .
H                      S             .                        .            .                      R            .
                             .     .                                .    .                              .    .

..................................A surfaced "Happily Ever After"...........................................

      
RESENTMENT.          .            .      DENIAL     .          .        .      REGRET       .         .

.......................................Forgave, but wont forget...............................................


PRETENDING .            .           .  LOST HOPE .        .        .        .   LIES .        .        .     

.......................................Crying as my heart prys.................................................


PAIN    .        .         .       .        .    HURT     .      .          .         BURNING        .            

.......................................A lifetime of yearning........................................................

SCREAMING  .        .          .       DECIEVING     .        .          .  BLEEDING        .          

.........................................Forever dissapearing ......................................................

.            .        .      D r a g g e d    U n d e r   T h e   T i d e          .           .          .           

..............................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................................
                                                                   
 S . L . O . W . L . Y 
   
D
  R                        .                            .                     .                     .                    .
    O
      W
         N 
            I                 .                           .                          .                          .
              N
                 G


Details | Free verse | |

Backfire

What’s the use of trying any longer?
Nothing comes out the way I want it to flow
Words perpetrate my every being
And I strain to get my temperament to slow
But my cognizance is reeling in a panic of waves
The voltage of emotion is overwhelming me
What is this journey impending to?
What is my purpose?
To obliterate or build?
I keep assurances only to splinter and shatter them
I melt into their regrets and apologies without looking back
Then I am slapped right back in the face
With my own waves of shame and qualm
I wish I was like you
I wish I could put a guise on and never show my face
I wish I could take a dagger and extinguish the sorrow
Destroy tomorrow
But it keeps coming back with twinges and pains!
I want to scream my way into your existence
I want to end all the overwrought thoughtlessness
I want to be lifted in your ease
To be beautiful and clever like you
The demon is me and I am foaming with misery
My horns are melting by your pertinacious confrontations
I can’t reply to the desolation of nothingness
I can’t make it all go away
I’m trapped! RELIEVE ME!
Cursed adrenaline rushes about me
My body is prickling and waterlogged in blackness
I swallow the poisons of my backwash
And back-fire every stab in the back


Details | Blank verse | |

The Searching (1995)

I’ve been dying inside for so many years
I’ve bee searching for a cure
I try so hard to understand what my body is telling me
I can feel my heart aching, the void I feel is so strong
I’ve been searching for ways to fill what was never given as a boy
I had love once and for a time my heart and soul were content
But I put my happiness at jeopardy long ago
And since that time I just haven’t been the same
I’ve accomplished so many things in such a short time
But I’m being engulfed by rage anger
The beast within my soul will not leave me alone
My heart, mind and soul are not sound
I can feel that I am at war with myself
I’ve been exercising my body and mind 
But my soul is lost in the abyss
This hollow feeling of loneliness
So many emotion are building up inside
My quest for happiness seems to be an endless journey.
I’m breathing so heavy lately and 
the pain within my chest grows stronger
the building of my foundation is weighing me down
the child inside is hiding but I can hear him crying
my smile has disappeared and my eyes have become so sad.
I have no strong religious belief.
I’ve been seeking exodus in so many alternate ways.
They say you must love yourself first
In order to gain peace with your own inner beast
I must face all of my fears, it is only then that this dead and 
empty feeling will heal the child inside. 


Details | ABC | |

A Yearn for a Smile 9-21-11

	A yearn… simply something that you want or long for. As a yearn to finish, a yearn to achieve, a yearn for a like, a yearn for a smile is something that you drastically want, a desire. Something that you spend long hours, nights even day dreaming hours thinking about how you can earn that smile. What can you do…. or what can you say … things such as a conversation sparks, likes even dislikes, mostly anything that will crack a smile. These are things that truly show signs of something far greater than fame, sex, money, power. What is it? Something more than I have yet to find. So as I search for the answer I over shoot the entrance with rapid thinking of what she wants, her likes, her dislikes. But truly it will only be earned by who you are, what you want to be, yourself, your feelings your desires, your yearn. So when you yearn for that smile or that special something it can only be earned by being you, no one else. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and try to see past the makeup or tan or piercing and just look at yourself… then take that image and imprint it to yourself forever because to find happiness and your yearn  can only be earned one way. Trying to watch her and she how she reacts to certain things just to make myself seem better when I finally open my mouth to her will only make you distant from that special someone.  With me I personally see myself as buff pierced orange person, while trying to continue to follow the people who I look up to the most. So as you struggle and go through life’s trials and tribulations always look at your yearn or what it once it what was. Think about how you felt when you failed or succeeded and try to make yourself a better person from it. Not by adding more glamour or appeal to yourself but by being closer to yourself. What you really are. Because only then can you truly say you earned your yearn of a smile or that special someone, even if there not with you, apart of them will be and that’s the part they left. The part that made you better. More complete. 			So never forget your yearn of her..


Details | Free verse | |

A Winter Walk

I needed some time, some space to think
And it was either take a walk or drink
And since I knew drinking would solve nothing
I put on my shoes and I started walking

The wind blew the chilly air
Through my unkempt locks of hair,
But I hardly felt the biting cold,
Walking with memories warm in my soul

The street was dark, cold and silent
It was funny the places where my mind went
While I slowly walked across the blacktop road
No destination in mind where I would go

It's funny the things you will remember
I recall a day in mid-December
And how suddenly, nothing seemed the same
After that man at the door called my name

I followed him into a secluded office
Where he would tell me his diagnosis
And suddenly I felt my beating heart
But the rest of the world had just stopped

I felt a hand in mine get tighter
I don't think the room could have been quieter
I shook my head in total disbelief
Too numb to feel anything, even grief

The question asked, "What does this mean?"
But the answer didn't mean anything
My head too fuzzy, my thoughts too jumbled
I turned to my love to speak, but mumbled

I don't remember what else he said
Because of the swirling thoughts in my head
It took three days before I could even think
Which led me to tonight: walk or drink

So I walked and I thought and I truly remembered
Dreams of the past, love treasured forever
Friendship and laughter, sorrow and pain
As though I was reliving my life over again

Little things that I'd sorely taken for granted
Things that didn't happen the way that I planned it
Promises made and ones that were broken
Love that was shared, love still unspoken

The frosty air filled me with a sense of renewal
Inside my soul was fighting a duel
The angel, the devil, both battling demons
Inside of myself I fought to redeem them

I don't know who won the ethereal battle
And I'm not sure right now it even matters
Where once I believed everything for a reason
I'm finding that harder and harder to believe in


Details | Blank verse | |

Blood and Bullets

Inspired by the Connecticut tragedy and another minor shooting that happened in my home state
-------------------------------------

Blood and Bullets

That night we cried ourselves to sleep
For each of the little children the blood did weep
Serve upon this misery and damage
No words will excuse the savage

The vultures swoop, spread the sugar coated lies
But still the frozen child dies
Yet they still wish to remove what little safety we have
But they fail to see that will not stop the slings and arrows they have

For the media projects the fame they crave
Like wild dingos they consume what we fail to save
Serve and protect is not the duty of just some but all as a whole
ALL AS A WHOLE

And we fail
And we fail

The cameras prance around like costumed horses in a dance
All the while the mud splattered reality burns and singes the lines of damned fantasies
We are to blame, shining glitter and fame on the damned souls that should be burned
We spit acidic words of hate all the while praising them in glittering spectral lights of fame 
They do not heed the angry words, but revel in the talk of them...them..
Them...

It's

All

About

THE KILLER

Blood and bullets pollute the spoiled ground but no one cares for the rotten
Sadness rings through for a week but soon the victims are forgotten
But no one forgets the criminal...Infamous
He is immortalized by the fame...fame...infamous

Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets

Blood stains
Bullets jump

dead forgotten
left rotten

Monster remembered

remembered

Blood and bullets

Blood

and bullets


Details | Free verse | |

All I Wish Is Peace

"I’ll never understand how people can go on and live
The miracle of finding the strength to forgive
To resurrect peace, to close up wounds so deep
they pierce souls beneath heart beats
To be a willful slave to a loving God’s commands
The key to a freedom that I’ll never understand." -Shad

I am not one for articulate words; Had words be tears, I would write for kings— But here I am, raw with restraint, As you tear our worlds apart. One day I had desired you here, To celebrate your creation far from compare; And the next I bid you gone, Anger tearing my words apart. Now, all I wish is peace… I cannot stand your creations lying to waste, At your expense…for their laments… Wishing only for peace… To replace lament, And replace all… Words— That I can never quite utter…
Feb 18, 2014


Details | Free verse | |

Useless Little Words



Useless little words
Why do you mean so much?
Why did you tear so many fragile hearts?
With the pull of your lines…
With the light YANK of your unfinished sentences…
Why did you do this to me, useless little word?
Did you really want to make me cry a thousand tears?
And make me look like a fool? 
A monster? 

Useless little words,
Why are you so unfeeling? 
Why has my heart been torn by your subtle existence on a page…
Or a text, or a message… or a simple ink blot…
Fighting with all your little ways
To get right under the skin…
Why do you tear open my very veins?
My very soul?

Useless little words,
There’s a fire waiting to be quenched,
But someone is always putting in the ammunition
So quick a spurt
SO QUICK A SPURT
That the tongue has its own cruel cold stoned heart
Waiting for the moment I shatter and fall apart
Why are you so fickle?
As deadly emotions trickle

Useless little words,
I’m on my way to silence again
Because you fool me every time
With your cruel, hell-laced intentions 
Why do I even bother?
To let them bounce off my body…
They always remain

Useless little words,
Have drilled a hole straight through
Words never spoken
But always…always used…
Less and less spoken
Less and less kind

Useless little words,
I only wanted them to matter
I only wanted you to understand
That you can drill in me tonight
But tomorrow, when the day shines
You’ll leave

But only for a little while
And then you’ll be back again
Beautiful little words!
How I can always depend on you! 
To return
Unlike…


Details | Blank verse | |

Yard Work

Yard Work

I worked with stern and determined face
attention on the end of the rake
the fresh grass and orange leaves.

Out of the corner of my eye
I saw a small bird huddled 
fixed against the drain pipe, 
its wings tight against its body. 
It didn't stir. 
I bent closer and
saw the milky film over its dark eyes.

A drape of sadness
was thrown callously over my morning.

I buried it quickly and carefully.
Time to take care to scrape away
the sharp rocks and hollow out a little place
deep enough to keep the dogs away and
with such care 
as I chose the final
home for this tiny thing.

It may have been taken away
to make room for another.
While I write this, several
months have passed and my throat
still tightens from the memory.

Sadness and loss is still with me
and with me for all the birds 
that fall
from their nests 
or the sky
every day 
from now until eternity.


Details | Free verse | |

The Meaning Of Humankind

The Meaning Of Humankind

Forever people look for a complicated word
Years, decades and centuries they search
One sad word that gives meaning to humankind
Poets have written pages looking for the word
Singers sing their songs trying to find just the right word
Writers tell stories about the search for the word
Not one poem, song or story can find the perfect word
The perfect combination of letters and sounds
No one can find the one word that describes humankind
The perfect word is there right before them
It has been for all the history of the spoken language
In Greek, Latin, English or Aramaic or Chinese it has one meaning
Five letters, three syllables work together to giving meaning to humankind
The word the poets, singers and writers have been searching for
That word is simply alive
A sad word because it always has a final moment, a moment of loss
Yet, a happy word because while we are alive
We live, we love, we learn and we experience life and who we are
Sad or happy “alive” is the meaning of humankind
Thank the gods for the happy moments yet do not fear the sad ones
For that it life
That is the meaning of being alive


Details | Blank verse | |

Forlorn

In my heart there’s no longer 
loneliness from longing for love.
Finally found someone to love, 
but he is my silent sorrow manifest.

In my chest there’s still even now 
a prolonging lonesomeness.
Finally found somewhere to live, 
but it is my isolating incubation erect.

In my head there’s still me, myself, 
and I comforting my lonely heart.
Finally found someway to befriend, 
but they are my persona’s karma manifest.

In my soul there’s no longer 
loneliness from longing for love.
Finally found some truth of whom I am, 
but my heart’s still filled with loneliness.


Details | Haiku | |

Abrupt

Sleeping in sorrow
If I don't wake tomorrow
Then all will be well.


Details | I do not know? | |

But You Do Lie

Laying here in my bed
Listening to your deep and shallow breath
Such a smooth and calm sound
I roll over and lay a hand on your chest
Too much movement it seems
For you rolled onto your side
As I steal my hand away
I close my eyes and try not to cry
I get out of bed and move to the couch
I lay there in silence, smoke in hand
I try and calm my pounding heart
Finally drifting off to dream land
I wake with a start
A gasp caught in my chest
I feel strong arms gently squeeze
And a warm hand on my breast
I stiffen with fear
Until you softly say my name
The tension slowly ebbing
Until calmness has the reigns
You kiss the back of my neck
In that slow and sensual way
Repeating my name in a whisper
A game you know how to play
You gently roll me over
And take my head in your hands
You kiss my forehead lightly
The beginning of a dance
You gaze at me deeply
And said “I love you so much I can’t stand it”
You begin kissing my eyes and lips
Stealing like a bandit
I take you in my arms
And feel my insides quake
You run your fingers through my hair
Giving it a little shake
You pull away from me slowly
And looked deeply in my eyes
I blush and turn away
I don’t want to see any lies
You lay down behind me
And hold me so very tight
And then you said those words
I dream of every night
“You are all I ever wanted,
You are all I’ll ever need,
I’ll do anything you want me to,
Just spend your life with me”
I don’t know why I did it
But I begin to cry
He pulls me even closer
“I love you, Trust me I don’t lie”
I can feel myself roll over
What happens next, who knows
For I awake with a start
The tears still soaking into my pillow
I finally get my bearing
Everything is as it seems
It turns out you do lie
But only in my dreams


Details | Free verse | |

Did you not Notice?

Did you not notice I was slippin,
                       cause you didnt catch my fall.
                        Did you not notice I had fallin 
                             cause you didnt help me up...
                                 so I stayed there for awhile.
                                 Did you not notice I was drowning,
                                   cause you didnt offer me your hand....
                                 so I sank to the bottom.
                               Did you not notice  I was dying,
                             cause you didnt try to revive me.
                            Did you not notice I was Dead,
                         Cause you werent at my Funeral.
                       Did you not notice I was in Hell,
                    When i would haunt you with my soul caught on fire...
                                   and you didnt put out the flames.
                           ... And im just Wondering how did you not notice?
                                                

                        By.Jessica Bowie


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 1 of 2

Around that table, picture the scene
Self appointed leaders if you know what I mean
What were the topics on the Agenda that day
The Jewish race is about to pay

Who gave the right for this decision that's made
Who has the right to cleanse and degrade
To decide who lived, to decide who dies
Another chapter, I still wonder why

They came in the day they came in the night
Women and children pulled out of sight
Herded aboard like cattle and sheep
Many a family awoke from their sleep

Dazed and confused as they are taken away
Where will they be at the end of the day
From their warm houses and their warm beds
What must be going through their heads

As they travel through days and through the night
Up ahead, they see lots of lights
They depart the trucks and board the train
Their faces scared under the strain

Asking questions from family and others
Generations, sisters and brothers
Why are we here, where are we going
Windowless carriages with no way of knowing

We come to a stop, soldiers aplenty
Towers and wire, topped with sentries
What can this place be they have taken us to
As we head to large gates as they shuffle us through

Families separated, herded in file
Women and children, not one did smile
Taken to rooms where our heads were shaved
Is this the way humans behaved

Clothes discarded, as we enter the shower
No signs of water no signs of power
Doors slammed as we are all crammed in
History will recall this evil of sins

As we stand in the dark, chanting Jewish faith
Can hear the voices can't see the face
Noises above, do the showers start
The event has begun that tells us Humans apart

Questions and sighs, as walled vents show daylight
Some thing is falling then their slammed tight
A strange aroma starts to fill the air
As all around are screams of despair

Twenty minutes have passed and the quietness is rife
Two thousand people, two thousand lives
Pellets called HCN, or Hydrogen Cyanide
Contribute to this Genocide


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | Free verse | |

Silence journey

Silence journey

I walk in the rain 
Without cloak 
In silence I pace  
Gaze on the sky like an image 
Of reality yet vague …..
Is it just me or us? 

Seeking answer from gods
About life 
Is it a fantasy or reality?
A glimpse of Siddhartha smile 
There is a way…. 
Ah 
Its karma to play yet 
A must to  pay …..

If it’s a poem then am dreamin …. 
12/03/ 2012


Details | Terza Rima | |

Insomnia

Five after four in the morning. Night-sweats
rumple silk bed sheets. Vague cusp ‘tween night and day
blurs chiseled contours of sanity’s sharpness.

Dreams half-way loosed into consciousness waylay
snuggling comforts.  Wee hours’ vague demons lurk
tucked beneath pillowcased hopes, threatening melee.

Coffee at four twenty, brewed under knee-jerk
rituals uncritically gleaned in tender years,
won’t clear the spider webs. Thinking is hard work.

Terrible, really, yet recently shed tears
obscure simple joy’s sole right to imminence,
caking like blood drawn by yesterday’s spears.
 
‘Til mercy’s sunbeams despite grief’s vehemence
melt bitter frostbite of long lost innocence.


Details | Rhyme | |

Lamentable You

Hell seemed to encompass the land As I watched him holding your hand For a moment I was happy for you And then my shameful heart gave way Earth longed to suck me in its waters Above fellow demons and their hollers We rue the day we ever existed Longing for the touch of human flesh We were trained to eat at your souls To fill your poor deprived holes With filth and emaciated sin Slithering within…bellowing within… And when I look at him I know he’s yours I should have seen it coming of course You never wanted a nothing like me And someone is to blame I see The voices in your head made you cower You once were awed by my power But now the beauty of love has destroyed us I am nothing, and he is yours Take her you bastard of a fool! I don’t need anyone, for I will rule I will rule over her vessel And mark me, she will detest you! Remarkable as she is you will leave her While I in the darkness keep her But for now I’ll lie in wait For the perfect time to ensnare Let go of his hands And allow this heart a chance Let the man lose his compass Only to stumble upon a new woman Oh, lamentable you! I force your love to be true Kiss me, my hate—my love, you fool! He’s never coming back for you! Because you are not special You belong to nobody—nothing! And you shall find That you were always… MINE.


Details | I do not know? | |

Whispers

I once heard a saying,
that the happiest people are the saddest
Shining because they’ve seen the darkest
Like the lotus that grows out of mud
Or the rotting stump that bears a bud..

You never know what troubles the mind
So be careful with words unkind
The glowing person just beside you
Could be a crumbling ruin behind the hairdo
 Most people struggle everyday
Souls burdened with decay..

I guess it takes a lot of courage
To act normal with that damage
Hard to believe that under the surface
Lives a soul with no purpose
A cry for help won’t be any crisper
Listen to the their inner whisper..


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Accepting Pain.

She's sliding and if you look past, if you watch her.....

maybe you'll capture a glance of her yesterday.....

“Sunrise only falls when you don't believe tomorrow exists,” I explained, in my most
patient tone.


She bit her lip and shook her head, she followed me into my room and shut the door, she
locked us in, for an hour it seemed, and whispered in my ear....

“I can write pain better than anyone,” she informed me, “I'm brilliant at tears.”

And with this she tore pages out of my beloved sketch book, the one that no one is allowed
to touch, and just when my jaw fell with the shock of her brazenness, I shut my mouth as I
watched her pen turn letters into sobs....

I followed the words as they ran down, as ink turned into pretty swirls that screamed art
and I told her...


“Your angst belongs in a museum.”



I had never seen her smile before, I had never heard her grin, but her lips parted at that
moment as a single curl dropped down her previously wrinkled forehead and I saw the beauty
in eyes that cry and knew that she had realized I accepted it.


“Oh, but who would pay to hear me scream?” she asked, almost joking, as she crossed her
legs and sat forward a bit, as her teeth tugged on her bottom lip, as she looked more her
age and resembled a child instead of me....


“I would,” I replied, as I pushed back her hair and kissed her on the nose, “I would, if I
didn't hear you in my dreams almost every night.”





Details | Blank verse | |

Love Song

Here’s what I’m thinking now 
at the end of the world: 

There are no atheists in foxholes— 
no theists in politics. 
If knowledge is power, 
and power corrupts, 
then why did I bother reading you, Cicero? 

Does it matter that I didn't’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

There’s a poetry reading tonight 
whence I’I'll chide other poets 
who don’t sit alone. 
I won’t bring up death 
but I might have to breathe, 
even into a mike 
and mouth lines to get a snap or a boo 
maybe even a wince or two. 

Just maybe I’I'll talk about love 
and how following your heart is like following a dog— 
it only leads to vittles and (female dogs). 
But how many times have I used that line 
since the story I wrote about you, 
a witty and sexy and fictional you? 
Most likely I’I'll read something tonight about you. 

I won’t recite it from memory 
because I don’t think about you that much anymore, 
not even when I search for my socks in your drawer 
or when I put on the scratchy sweaters you give me, 
horizontally striped to bring out my eyes? 

I don’t remember your eyes 
except they are blue. 
And I don’t remember you, 
not even when I smell cucumber and apple, 
not even when I sleep on my side of the bed 
or when you walk through the door 
happy to see me; 
even then I don’t remember you. 
Does it matter that I don’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

How about a few one-liners 
for the end of days?— 

Depression is self-awareness, 
which you’d know if you were; 
I need Ritalin to listen to you, 
Lithium to hug you, 
Viagra to feel you, 
and Valium to sleep. 

All you need 
is me standing there, waiting at home 
with turns of phrase and word plays 
telling you about why I hate Ayn Rand 
but want to buy as much as I can 
and how I love celebrity gossip 
and detest poetry slams 
and find rhyming trite 
except when I am. 

Hypocrites can still be right, 
which you do understand 
because you nod at my nonsense 
about fighting the man. 

But now, at the end of all things— 
I’m speechless and witless and pointlessly well-read, 
and you’re just sitting there, smiling 
asking me to pass the bread.


Details | Rhyme | |

THESE LIPS ARE TO COLD TO KISS

Time, is combined, in my mind.
Tragedy trickles to nowhere,
And now this pain I bare.
Seeing you for your worth,
Hearing you are only earth.
Killing, and filling, this feeling.
Lame, losers look like you.
Now this heart you threw,
Up on, and left the mess.
So this is progress?
Torture, under, this blur.
Blindsided by big, bountiful, beams,
That left me in shattered dreams.
Never thought I could catch this,
Because these lips are to cold to kiss.


Details | Free verse | |

Darkness

Complete darkness
No sound at all
This is where you live
No one to talk to
The blackness, engulfing
Smothering the air out of you
In this vast void with lack of light
You are forced to believe
That you see a speck
A tiny green light
Way off in the distance
This blot of light brings so much hope
So many desires
You can hardly breath
Suddenly the light grows larger
You feel elated
Then FLASH
Complete darkness
No sound at all
Things are back
To the way they will always be


Details | Lyric | |

Borderline's Wreckage

I'm Agonizing every Word that my mind Creates You've done this all to me release your wrath to Me You wonder How much a Human Heart can take I've reached the limit You've invaded me on every level none of this is Mine anymore I can't bleed enough for You We're through This, This Torture Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You Feel Free to abuse If it's you I won't lose The Winds push away The Vines pull forth I'm at a lose on what to do So very lost and Confused Don't say we're through Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You I Hate you ...Don't leave me I push you so far away But need you so close I'm on the edge you're all I really need I'll do anything Just don't Abandoned me leaving has it's toll Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You


Details | Narrative | |

this was me

it began so innocently
we exchanged ideas on poetry
his art, the suffering he endured
he preyed upon my compassion
as he meticulously bided his time...

i felt safe as we expressed
our mutual love of words
i was excited, i was learning,
unbeknowst to me, i was his prey..

many months and thousands of hours, 
talking, reaffirmed my trust; faith in him
he shared his life, triumps & tragedies
i supported all he desired for himself..

i understood, i felt his pain, 
his drive i admired, he overcame tremedous odds,
became a doctor so others would not suffer as he had;
he baited me; the innocent and naieve one.

living life with no regret,
i chose to take a leap of faith,
he guided me, alleviated my fears,
of promises to cherish and adore me..

as a tiger waits patiently to pounce on his prey
i was oblivious to his hatred inside,
he was a master of manipulation
his mission - to destroy me..

i felt he was worth giving 
up all i knew to build a life
he so lovingly described to me,
little did i know, his words - poison..

america bound i left everything i knew; i loved.
the terror of his drunken rages, his icy silence,
the cruelty of his words stung like red hot coals.
what he admired most about me,intensified his hatred.

the vacancy in his eyes was terrifying, 
i was alone in a strange country, 
knowing no one, in a house, not a home, 
full of tension, rage, abuse; numb and in shock;
this was my reality..

with each painstaking day of living in terror
dreading his arrival, my fear reached new heights;
i had enough; i was leaving.
his rage increased, his words pure venom..

i was numb, shaking, fear drove me to action
he became desperate, i did not sleep 
for fear of never waking, his actions so terrifying
i felt a strength within, empowering me..

planning my escape, fear became my ally,
i reached the airport and did not stop shaking
until safely on the plane, doors shut, 
moving down the runway to take-off;
i wept, i crumbled, i collapsed.

jubilantly at home, i felt peace, safe, 
and soaked in the beauty of my freedom; my home.
it has been six weeks; i have flashbacks, 
terror still haunts me; i am determined 
to not let another change me.

i am healing and am grateful for every
moment i smile, smell a flower, witness
the marvel of each sunrise and sunset.
i am a blessed girl.

~this was me~ 


Details | I do not know? | |

They Think They Know

People say that they know,
Then she asks them is that so?
Do you know how I feel?
Do you measure every meal?
What it's like to take a shot,
At 7 o'clock on the dot?
You don't know a single thing,
Of the girl with a broken wing.
She's limited on her food,
Which puts her in a real foul mood.
When her blood sugar suddenly drops,
She all of a sudden flips and flops.
She can't even stand up strait, 
She thinks that she might actually faint.
You people think you understand, 
The most you can do is lend a hand.
Diabetes is no joke,
She can't even have a single coke.
She and her mom worry every day,
They wonder if she'll be okay.
Her bloodsugar can drop really low,
She can instantly become a real big foe.
It can even go really high,
She swears that it can reach the sky.
So for the people that say they know,
I ask them now, is that so?


Details | Rhyme | |

The Mayan Declared

The year is 2025 I have come back to my past To witness the Mayans Who said Earth would not last 2012 Was the year they declared That the planet we knew Could never be spared An Asteroid shower We could never comprehend Sends this heaven to hell In catastrophic spend The first to hit Was the daddy of them all Our axis twisted The human race in fall Just of Madagascar In the Indian Ocean It's where it all started That set our demise in motion Tsunami waves Like giant tower blocks Swamped Indonesia As Polynesia rocked The force of impact Reverberated west On the Canary Islands A dormant volcano so reft It's massive mountain side Into the Atlantic slipped To the eastern seaboard Of the United States it shipped A second Tsunami Half the world long Would submerge the east Taking the weak and the strong The second to hit Hit a place struck before Tunguska in Russia Receives another sore Daylight turns to night As earth meets our skies Fallout from the reactors In shattered demise Radiated clouds Eventually filter down Leaving bleeding lacerations As we humans death drown Smaller asteroids Some just a few hundred feet Around the world they were marvelled Until they meet their greet The place where I stand now Was Yosemite National Park Now dark ridges of black So bare and stark It's been many many years Since the sun shone through the screen When I close my eyes I remember When the earth was lush and green How many of us survived Will we ever know Was this in our destiny I think all around me, now shows


Details | Rhyme | |

Darkness

September 29, 2012
-------------------------

This secret life of lies you keep
Cause me to stumble and in pain to weep
Shine a light in the darkness
Help me travel safely through this darkness
This wretched, blasted dark you keep me in
All the doors locked, I crash into obstacles never to win
This race, not without a light
Without a glimmer, a candle, something to grant me some sight
Because I can't continue to wonder-
This darkness on my own blindly
I try to ease my way around the blocks
But still, in the dark, I fail to see the holes
And I fall-hard
And you're gone
And alone I weep
Because I cannot make my way without fail
All I ever wanted was to be your friend
But you will not let me in
So I continue to blindly wonder in the darkness
Always stumbling
Always falling
Always failing


Details | Free verse | |

Emotions

Emotions to fill the vastness of a lake.
       I think of you drowning in that lake.
       I offer you my hand, and
  lacking the courage 
 of your convictions
 you say no.
 And you wallow 
 in your sorrow,
   and the banks overflow.


Details | Quatrain | |

Minor Discomfort

Does everybody feel the same as I do?
Lost? Adrift? Disconnected? Confused?
Does anyone know how to ease the hurt of truth
For the accuser, as well as the accused?

I've heard there's bliss
Found somewhere in ignorance
For those who have been stripped
Of their already fleeting innocence

So I continue to move through this life
Practiced smile, that doesn't quite reach my eyes
Which instead reflect the emptiness
That fills me up inside

It hurts to feel so alone and uncertain
Consumed by doubt and fear
Eventually life becomes a burden
Damaged beyond all repair

The temptation to numb all sensation
It more powerful than one might believe
I'll sacrifice the pleasure, to relieve the devastation
As passion gives way to apathy

Say whatever you want
About those who dwell on the past
Go ahead and judge me from your moral soapbox
While you cower behind your mask

The opinions of most matter very little to me
It won't be taken to heart as you intend it to be
First you'd have to practice the words you preach
If you ever do then I promise I'll start listening


Details | Free verse | |

The Chasm Of Depression And Death

The Chasm Of Depression And Death

Screams heard in the far off distance
Tales of pain and horror
Echoing through the night
They call for a hope that is never to come
Their calls fall on deaf ears of those who went before
The light from the distant blood red moon is dim in lost chasm
Unable to show what the night has hidden
Depression and thoughts of death fill the air
Young people die by their own hands
One useless suicide after another
Their futures destroyed while their screams go unanswered
Hope hides on the edge of the valley
Just out of reach and so far out of their dreams
It waits for someone to find it
Wanting to reach down to help
It starves from the lack of attention
Young people dying in a chasm of depression and death
Never giving life or hope a chance
Never looking to the heavens
Never finding what they should have seen all along
If only someone, somewhere would have said something
Made them look harder at the edge of the chasm
Maybe it could have saved just one life
Then another and another until the chasm closed
And no other young person would fall into its depths


Details | Ballad | |

Violet

In London, away in a terrace
Half-hidden with elm trees and grime,
Lived young Violet, in her parents' house,
Left alone for near all of the time,

As her mother had no patience to teach her
And her father was working all day,
Violet read to herself through her childhood
Forgetting her seclusion in play,

Any friends she made as a young woman
Would laugh at her stitches and cloth,
For they knew that Violet was quite useless
And so showed their neat needlework off,

Poor Violet kept trying her best, but
Each time everyone ran her down,
She retreated back into her mind's warmth
Far away from that cold-blooded town,

Then one night, as the raindrops were piercing
Through the rueful, restricting twilight,
Violet threw on her Sunday attire and
Did at once in the darkness delight,

So she ran through the alleys and gardens,
Dancing down the pitch-black London streets,
Her beautiful dress flew about her
As she skipped past the other deceits,

Violet's stories swam round in her memory
As she flew through the night and the stars,
And she bathed thoroughly and with relish
Until Violet was cleansed of her scars,

Now her heart was open and happy,
So she laughed and fluttered her tail,
Carelessly gliding free through the water
And onwards to the ocean did sail.

As the weary sun rose on the next day
Her friends could be seen on the pier,
Dabbing at their dry eyes with their hankies,
Voices straining trying to sound sincere,

"It has hurt us so indescribably,
That because of her poorly-sewn hems,
Violet felt she was inferior to us
And has drowned herself in the Thames."

Violet's parents had not yet noticed
The absence of their only daughter,
And they would understand even less
How she came to be dead underwater,

But Violet was now free to prosper,
To swim and to dance and to glide,
And with angels and mermaids to play with,
She would always in her dreams reside.


Details | Lyric | |

Why Must It Be

Can I let you go? Will you be okay? Where you're headed now...to a better place Listen to my words of forgiveness relieving this pain I'd give anything to have you back again To hold you once more in my arms, one more day of happiness you now dwell within my heart Your innocent smile is forever a distant memory, and the times that we share are precious treasures that I spend reliving The Shadow of Death Took you in just one breath Why must it be? I cry behind this closed door, searching desperately for an answer, yet all I feel is an emptiness inside... despair haunts me forevermore Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave? Why does this have to hurt? Cancer robbed thy life from thee... Why must it be? Fly away Angel Child of Mine Trod thy broken paths, roam away, fly and be free... Why must it be?


Details | Couplet | |

Insanity

You say you want me to be free,
but really you just don't want me. 

Now i'm drowning in my pain,
standing in the pouring rain. 

How this fell apart is such a shame.
You made this in to some game. 

You were just in it because you had some thing to gain.
Your lies are driving me insane.


Details | I do not know? | |

THE PRICE OF OIL, PART I

The nurse ordered her to push, push, push
in her best proper voice 
and linen balled in red fists knotted
and sweat falls from red face knotted 
while Billy, head first, tugged and yanked by nurse's proper hands, 
emerges, gently laid upon the blood soaked sand 
motionless in the sulfur haze, almost well-behaved 
amongst the rifle clatter and bewildered screams - 
get down! get down! get down! 
while Billy breathes slowly, undisturbed, 
his eyes closed with new mom 
gently caressing matted, cark curls, 
her fingers, no longer knotted, extended,
Billy's tiny hands and infant fingers 
grip the plastic ribbing 
around the rifle barrel smeared in stickiness that flows out 
from below Billy and onto sand, puddling, his lips chapped and parted, 
suckling as new mom exhausted weeps 
in relief of two arms and two legs and everything okay 
as she holds him, hurting for him, 
everything that might happen, 
everything that will happen, 
and she drifts off to slumber, 
mother and child peacefully spent 
in soft pretty colors 
and the soft murmur of the television as the sedan 
with government plates at the curb 
and a Marine in dress blues (Oh, God) stands plastic in the doorway 
and uses his best proper voice (Oh God, not Billy, Oh God) 
to regretfully tell her, 
and uses surprised hands to catch her when her legs 
regretfully cannot hold her 
and she sobs on the floor like a mother who outlived her son, 
exhausted as the day Billy was born.
Screw this war.


Details | Free verse | |

Make Me Hate Your Face

I focus on things
that make me hate your face.
Maybe then the pain will fade.

I know deep inside
I care about your life,
but right now I just want to forget.

You don't understand,
never will,
how you've pierced my heart.

I wish I could say
it will just go away,
but the blade cut too deep.

I feel the blood,
it trickles down my chest,
and it draws me to my knees.

I fall to the floor,
pray it will all finish now,
maybe this pain will finally be undone.


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 2 of 2

After the quiet we all have to go
Dragged and carted by the Sonderkommando
To be dumped in pits covered by lime
A race to dispose by it's Human slime

Auschwitz, Buchenwald & Dachau slaughtered
Many a son, many a daughter
Experiments on children women and men
Some aged 90, many under 10

In 45, their end was near, how many alive would reappear
As Russians, British and US troops
Chased the Hun to their German roots
Each camp reached showed it's sordid past
Where millions of me, were massively gassed

In Auschwitz, to this present day
Birds don't fly, no animals play
The reminder is all for there to see
Those terrible days what happened to me

It's 1948, our Nation is born
From histories past, populations torn
To all who survived I wish you well
And our new born world, called Israel 


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | Free verse | |

Dream You'll Never Mention

Tell me
Have you ever had a dream
A dream where your own blood fell upon blue roses
And you fell through the ground as petals floated on the wind
Tangling in your hair
Red and blue rotting jewels 
The thick smell of old blood at the bottom of your own well
A dream where your heart felt the impact before the rest of you
And stopped for just a moment
Cold in your chest with the realization of death
And woke up
And then you cried
It didn’t change your life or the way you acted
It did not make you stop your closed door ritual 
Or throw your kit away
It scared you so bad, and yet
You never told another soul about your dream
Or what lies just beneath you tattered sleeves and ragged jeans
You want and do not want to be saved, for someone to know
Tell me
Have you ever lived a nightmare
You didn’t know how to escape? 


Details | I do not know? | |

Be A Good Kid And Roll Me A Joint

When you are nine years old 
and sifting the seeds out 
of your parents pot for them, 
you can't really preach 
about the dangers of cigarettes
and second-hand smoke...
even though you know them.

You know better than to miss a seed
and let it ''pop'' while they are smoking it.
''What are you lazy or just too stupid? ''
''Is it really that hard to make sure 
all the seeds are out? ''

Once you've proven yourself with the sifting job, 
maybe they'll think enough of you 
to actually let you roll one.
If you're lucky.
Then you're a real ''big helper''.
Then they really like having you around.
Because they love you.

But, if you're stupid enough 
to roll a joint that isn't tight 
or comes apart while they're smoking it...
you'll be sorry.
Because then they'll tell all their friends 
just how stupid their worthless kid is.
''Stupid kid.
Can't even roll a good joint.
What good are you''? 

Just wait...you're almost ten.
Then they'll have you smoke one yourself.
''It'll make you much cooler.
Because you're such a dork.
You really need help''. 


Details | Free verse | |

Epiphany

Well it's sad to say, that this ugly duckling
never grew into anything more than an ugly duck


Details | Rhyme | |

I disappear

I loose my self
in myself
and fear
often times
I disappear
not always so
as youth
as man
young the heart
i still could stand
outside gates
in every core
but weak
I hide now
close the door
peer out through
the looming night
see the man
who sits outside
empty of
his other part
hiding in
the lonely heart
I loose my self
and then I fear
you've lost a part
of me
in tears
one drop containing
each a piece
of what you thought
your love would be
I fail
I will, be lost sometimes
gone in fancies
of my crime
penance for
and from the slave
I am now, lost
in other days
I fear
too often
worry much
ten million thoughts
I can not clutch
like a fighter
seeing three
head shot punch
witch one is me
I loose myself
myself I fear
will loose you
when I disappear






 


Details | Free verse | |

Elevators: 5 Horsemen

Part 1

Onion

the delicacy of friendship

I found you in the flowers
Standing tall we become one
Looking down from gangly towers
Squash, you burn, you pillage, son.

Follow me you say in tongues
Thy shallow mind reveal me tell
Whisper lies clean load the guns
I feel the burn I rot in hell

Friend folly menacing the liar
I loathe this coffin how it leaks
Dear foe you raped me set on fire
The onion peal itself and weeps

Part 2

Traitor

dear monkey boy

Older eyes eat themselves,
glance and kill the other
Unified in the dance,
they steer the musty rudder.

Pained and sweeter deeper wells,
poised buckets drunk with water.
Singled out the one that dried,
handed weights to pull him under.

Wiser times capture the mind,
death justifies dishonor.
Knife slice neat through the devil's back,
who stares blank and milks the udder.

Part 3

Tempest

patron saint

Inside this box
Goodbye tempestuous fall
My puppet of steel coiled thread
Smashed buttons and twisted dread,
Alarm these doors, and
Escape this delusive bunker bed

Stamp the spiders
Thief, vulture of the deflection
The mocking patron of the sinners
Erase this affliction
Relating inward at the reflection

Rise you fool

Part 4

Phoenix

i love you

close the grip
cinched hematic grip
drenched, clawing
seeking the sheave
becoming the counterweight

i absorb, now
extracting the heat
rise like a phoenix
away to be gone to be free
fix me! i have fixed me

i am alive and i love you

Part 5

Aye, Damager

Abolish her state of disrepair
Scattered, spattered drippy thoughts
All around this box of soused leaves
Soak, ferment in the faith of our love

I can't fix this, you know
I loathe this misunderstanding
Of what I am speaking, projecting
To me, Aye Damager, to you

This devil in me
turned and twisted
A wrecked elevator in rejection
Years locked painfully aware

...


Details | I do not know? | |

~~Losing Me~~

The darkness of the pit
is swallowing you in.
I see you looking at me
with that evil, twisted grin.

You know just what you're doing.
You've done it all before.
It kills me when you look at me
while bleeding on the floor.

I've offered you my hand
time and time again.
I've tried to help you change your life.
I've tried to be your friend.

I'll watch you from a distance
but I'll never get too near.
You'd love to take me with you
but my strength you've learned to fear.

If I could help you truly
just to see what you could be.
I'd try ten thousand times again
but I won't risk losing me. 


Details | Rhyme | |

With Him goes a Rose

It was only a few days
On their barren soil
Through a doorway he went
So many lives now spoiled

An explosive device
Plastic in design
Could never be detected
Now a life resigns
 
The regimental medic
Rushes to his aid
To stem his internal bleeding
Through his eyes he fades

His lifeless soul lies lonely
As he is gently stretchered away
Where he will be flown back home
To where the angels play

In honoured ceremony
As he is carried to his carriage
On the tarmac awaits
His fiance, without marriage

In the chapel of rest
She stands in a tear laden pose
Her tribute to her lost one
With him goes a Rose

For tomorrow she will awake
A new day in her life
As she remembers her love
Who would have made her his wife




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-2.php


Details | Free verse | |

Another

People ask me why I wear black
And bitterly I shall snap back
Lack of color helps me conceal
How it is I truly feel
A colorless life, harsh situations
But no fear of implications
There is no color, can be no blame
I can hide in the dark, free from shame
Colors only distract attention
From the reality, the pure intention
I am broken, I am insane
I feel a never ending pain
Now I ask you, go away
So I can cry another day
Another day of hurt and sorrow
An endless day, awaits tomorrow


Details | Free verse | |

"no wait...I can explain"

A girl
Leads an eager man to a cab beyond the door of drunken rants and soaked 
sorrows.
His lucky day it seems....his lucky day.
A kiss she lends with no resistance distracts them from the headlights that 
follow in the distance.
They arrive....

A man
Once oblivious to her ways watches as they stumble.
He knows now the answer of his questions....He had hoped them different.
Vengeance rules him.
He follows....

A couple.
Fumble with keys amid  passion and desire.
The door opens and she leads to a bed secretly shared with another.
His lucky day!
"what was that sound?" 

A cigarette
Burns slowly in the corner.
A man, a weapon, a hateful heart.
She reasons.
He tries to explain.
He fires.....



Details | Dramatic monologue | |

I Need to Sleep

This searing pain within my chest
This urgent need to lay and rest
And rid me of my sheer distress
When did things become  a mess

These jarring thoughts going through my brain
They do not stop going round again
I live in fear of all I meet
I want to leave and to retreat

My anguish is not plain to see
It engulfs all parts of me
It stabs at me like sharp shards of glass
Nowhere to go, nowhere to pass

I feel no hope or motivation
No love or hate or devotion
I feel I’ve lost the will to live
I have nothing left to give

No one hears my rising cry
No one cares if I live or die
No one knows what it is I feel
No one knows what to me is real

I need to leave to find relief
I have no hope and no belief
So as I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep


Details | Free verse | |

Dream Me In Black And White

Color me pretty
The way that you see me but not
The way I see myself

Wash me pure
The way you look at me
With eyes of unconditional love
You overlook my indiscretions
Judgment you never pass
Acceptance is all you offer
You make me a better me

Dream me in black and white
Like old time photographs
Faded
Torn edges
Jagged with time
To preserve the image that you hold of me

Paint me in red
The sweet blood that I left behind
Etching my name in the grain of eternity
So as to never be forgotten

Burn me into ashes
Let me dance on the winds of tomorrow
To feel the freedom
The release from my personal hell
As I soar across the sky of time


Details | Free verse | |

NO PEACE

Crying into my pillow each night
Tears for a sorrow that burns like an acid
Eating it’s way through my senses..through my soul.
The pain sears through me like burning coals
No peace.

Hard to get my mind clear and rational
To put those things into perspective..
Or so I am told by well-meaning others who do not know,
The suffering of my existence; my inability to cope
No peace.

My head throbs in almost a familiar rhythm
A melody of self-pity, for regret, for salvation
And the tears, still flowing, now echoed with muffled sobs
For the agony is nearly more than I can withstand
No Peace.

I pray to a God I do not know, nor care to 
But no one else is there to listen to my pleas for comfort
To make right all those mistakes
As there are so many choices and I haven made the wrong ones
No Peace

So the God I do not acknowledge, lies silent in the stillness
And the burning within begins to subside
As grateful sleep falls upon me at last
Until another night comes, and the thoughts begin again
No Peace.


Details | Free verse | |

Lacrimae Rerum

It is a house
That was once a home.
Now with its eyes boarded up,
It has lost its heartbeat.

No longer does he hear
Her faltering fumbling with the key
When he has to visit.
Guilty memories are buried deep
Within him,just like his mother.

His sister tearfully packed the boxes,
Precious few treasures
Consigned to cheap oblivion.

Soon will arrive the house clearance people,
The necessary hyenas of a crowded modern life,
To leave no trace of her story
Save the little blot
Burned brown 
On the third step of the stairs.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Prisoner's Tale

With everyday i wake
The darkness around me advances,
Swallowing me in its pool of misery
To never liven up again.

With every breath i take
I realise that i'm more alone,
Neglected and rejected for a weakness
That i am not to be blamed.

With every step i take,I feel like a puppet. 
Driven around by invisble strings,
That halts my freedom
To the length of string 
To whom it may concern.

With every tear i shed in pain
My wrath and agony aggravate.
Slashed and whipped through day and night
A sufferer i remain.

With every dawn that comes
My hopes of a future will prevail,
Though a prisoner I am and will remain
My hopes will forever lighten my path.


Details | I do not know? | |

suffer me

tired, so tired, no rest I gain
from mornings, nights, teasing rain
grey cool skys. dirt and sea
tired of life, it's tired of me
she - (nature), mothers land
feed me stones from ivory hands
she grieves my breath, my hungry sigh
the day of birth, the day we die
tired i sleep, sleep I wake
drunk'n fools for blessed fate
memories - (the torche's flame)
burning up our Christan name
tired and low, beneath i am
the youthful hope to understand
yesterday's, future glimpse
history's, present tense
today, tomorrow, now, then
we build the gallows - noose we're in
tired, so tired, in unbelief
waking life, why suffer me?


Details | Rhyme | |

Necessary Evil

take this blade 
and cut your wrists
make escape holes for the devil

let him leave you
through the bleeding
make the world then somewhat level

it's a sacrifice 
most unholy
but for the good of all mankind

so take thy soul
unto the slaughter
and you'll find i'm right in time

sure i'm just 
your shoulder demon
and yes i've fallen from what's divine

but no lives
will get saved this evening
'less you're willing to cross the line


Details | I do not know? | |

What is left to say...

Huddled, hands entwined as one,
the thoughts, the dread
felt like a terrifying storm,
its destruction powerfully felt.

As the tear flowed freely
and anxieties grew,
they clung tighter, closer;
though they already knew.

The room though non-sterile
reeked an aura of death,
for in this solemn room;
their worst fears were met.

As the doctor walked in
eyes stoic, stature tall,
he uttered the words;
your baby is gone.

She fought with the spirit
of one wise beyond her years,
you may be with your baby;
her sweet soul is now free.

Huddled, hands entwined as one,
they wept together, what was left to say.
The drunk driver who killed their baby
in this karmic world;

would pay; would pay.


Details | Rhyme | |

dreams of love

wings so light,
broken now,
hearts will bend,
love will bow,
til it breaks,
along with  me,
you are lost,
as love can be,
so we cry,
for the past,
and the joy,
that wouldn't last,
love is a lie,
thats what i say,
prove me wrong,
find a way,
if you can,
make me see,
what my own,
heart can be,
because i feel,
hollow and cold,
let the heat,
of flame take hold,
and bring out,
warmth in me,
heat that might,
set me free,
chilling stare,
calls me out,
i must fight,
back my doubt,
it's okay,
to let it go,
when the pain,
is all you know,
let me fall,
in waters deep,
mind is numb,
and i'm asleep,
now i dream,
of colors bright,
i will wish,
for love tonight.

spelling issues and butterflies. @};~


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Sitting On the Dock With Rene

I left my home, it  wasn't  so gorgeous,
but I knew I could no longer stay
I had nothing to live for,
seemed like only sadness would come my way,
headed for any deep water bay,
sitten' on the edge of sadness,...
wasted by time.....time...

on the bay of grief and sadness
I sat and wondered aloud....
how can I feel so lonely....
even in the midst of a crowd?

sittin' on the dock of sadness bay
wearing my ......crow....crown.....

I was royal fodder for sorrow,
looked like just sh_t would be comin' to me
I wanted so much to hold him,
but somehow   fate would not let that be.....

so I'm sitten' on the fringe of cryin'....
every day.....ay, ay, ay, ay...

I'd whistle if I could...
and if it'd bring him to me
for just one more day...
but my throat is simply too.
clogged with tears
what can I say?

I sit on the riverbanks
of mighty river styx
the river I've longed to cross
so I could hold him once more...
but sadness has stranded me
here, on this lonely shore...

for Rene, my sister in sorrow,
among the millions of us in
the dark seas of grief....


Details | Ballad | |

Martyr for the Unorthodox word

If I had over 10,000 dreams You'd be the only thing my mind could see Judgment couldn't be real Succumbing to the fear of this cold life Find a way to break through The self-destruction of wordly delusions Don't tell me I've lived so long in a lovely illusion Break me down until we find a Nirvanic state Then bring me a savior from transgressions An atoning sacrifice Send down to me a messenger for me to submit to Bring me the truth to break through The delusion Bring me the messenger to explain it all And let me leave behind Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word


Details | Bio | |

Trapped

Feeling trapped within these walls
as I stumble with each fall.
I try to hold my head up high
so no-one ever sees me cry
But in my mind I scream with fear
painting pictures very clear
Please tell me this will go away
for it can't always be this way
I often wonder if it's me
it seems that no-one else can see
pain which dwells deep in my soul
holding tight, not letting go
Yet, these scars which I wear
tell a story I now bare
Scars I know can never heal
reminding me this is real
Tomorrow is another day
and as I stumble on my way
these voices screaming in my head
are silent whispers now instead


Details | Bio | |

Explanation Long Overdue

I know it matters little, 
At this time, I am sure,
But I've always felt,
I owed you,
A reason why,
We did not endure...

As I approach,
The final destination,
I've unfinished chores,
I must amend,
And I guess
It's up to each
Of us to tend...

It may sound insane,
In fact, I think it is...
I was feeling too much in love,
Something had to give...
All I'm sure of,
Is this, I do swear...
It was never a question...
Of if I did care...
All I'm sure of, that is,
Whoever followed me,
The luck was his...

I felt I was losing control,
Felt jealous and insecure,
Withdrew into a defensive caccoon,
But there's even more...

I knew I blew my chance
With the most beautiful girl 
I ever had,
One who shared my love,
And to this day I'm sad...

I did what I'm good at,
I ran away and hid,
My life was forever changed,
The dumbest thing I ever did...

I know it sounds insane,
And I'm sure that this is true,
But one thing I can swear,
I never ever,
Stopped loving you.


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate...

The collision of my feelings,
And the confrontation of words,
The lies,
All the lies…
Hatred, hate, all the hate,
I hate…

Drown in my pain,
Until you suffocate,
And free yourself from me,
To free me,
I hate…

A million words burn in me,
A thousand screams call for freedom,
For salvation,
But my soul is abandoned
In the void,
I hate…

Let me fade away,
Let me turn into black,
Let me dissolve into nothing,
To free me from myself,
I hate…

Fear,
Free my fearful heart,
And take me away,
Anyone…
Let these words stop:
“I hate.”

Break the chain of eternity,
Kill the immortality of my torment,
Let my blood flow in my veins,
And let the air circulate
In and out of my body,
I hate…

I hate…
You…and you,
I hate life,
I hate me,
I hate…
Everything,
Hate, hate, hate,

“Hate , hate , hate”
I woke up saying,
With the letters,
“H” “A” “T” “E”
Sliding between my lips,

I cried loudly,
For I felt it,
I felt the hate,
Conceal all my feelings;
I felt it make me grab a knife…
I stabbed myself!
I stabbed my heart…it made me stab myself…
Just to free itself from me,
And to free me,
Forever…  


 



Details | Free verse | |

The house eaters

1.
My grapefruit tanned
toothpicks
bow above
the five-day flattened
spot
in an olive shag carpet
tracing grandpa Leo's 
blueprint,
with one encapsulated
toe –
this is the femur, this is
the head,
this is the fist, the ring
finger, the soul.
I search for any blunt
white quivering slivers
of Caroline's purported
fly fetuses.

2.
Huddling behind the
corpse
of an old hospital bed,
a framed photo 
smoke browned and
wearing my toddler face,
watches
his children choke
hushed, broken
sentences

this will be yours, my
plate, separate the
holiday china…

an enigmatic language
that hovers in
smoke stretched rings
to wilt
upon the hallway
bulb.

3.
I am left
the ceramic cygnet,
and an ivory carved 
dromedary.

These artifacts
plucked
from his porcelain
menagerie
that I decipher 
through dust fingerprints
for
one small inheritance of
a memory.

4.
Tomorrow,
Aunt Rose
puts price
to his bibelots,
the olive shag carpet,
even cousin Amy's 
plastic horse,
who was accidentally
left to pasture on an 
afghan.

A silver plated glass cage
image of her past,

she says she will whittle
all of him,
from the
wooden
house 
bones.



Details | Free verse | |

PLUNGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEEP, YOU FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello loneliness it's me, I called but no answer, makes me think your avoiding me
I saw your friend regret the other day and she said you were doing awful, She said you 
had gotten down and out because many people, have forgotten how good you can make them feel
They have forgotten, just how bitter-sweet your presence delegates them
Hey! Loneliness? what time is it in denial? I just thought I would tell you, I haven't
forgotten
I will always remember cold and hot days when a wall to a closet I was hiding, was a gift
from you
Oh! and don't think I forgot how you stayed with me and talked me through the slices on my arm
I couldn't have carried that out without you, You made me see that nobody will be around
like you,
I cut so deep that for a second I was wishing to see the color blood bones makes, sounds
sick?...
Just like me, I'm unhealthy in fits of rage but oh! I know that's just you morphing into
insanity
Do you remember also, when I called out names of those who said they cared?
Me neither never met them before but if you see them, tell em' I cry by blood and mark by
knife
I shoot like bullets, I hurt like broken, But don't you see? This is the price I pay for
loving you...
Loneliness!


Details | Free verse | |

You Don't Know Me

I smile so no one can see my scars.
You think i'm happy.
But you don't know me.

You don't know the girl
who cries herself to sleep.
Who marred her skin
from all the stress.
Who hates herself 
for all she's done.
Who chokes back screams
when she sees you smile.

You think I handle all this well.
But you don't know 
the torture I put myself through.
I punish myself for all your lies,
but still can't hate you.

You think you can see
but you don't know me.


( 2004 )


Details | Free verse | |

In The Dark

You say don't talk about it
You say let it be
You say its too dark
And the words are scary.

Don't speak  the unspeakable
Let the rape and murder
Remain a headline to disappear.
Don't discuss the pedophile
Who isn't bothering your child ...
Yet.

A moviestar father talks to his daughter
Like she is crap
Just another rap
All he has to do is apologize.
Thats the new deal ...
just apologize
And It will pass and be forgotten except
For the darkness of her pain.
Her pain that will remain
Forever.

I am sick in this darkness
Oh God, if you exist
Please help me undo this twist
Of the knife in my soul
Of the rage that I feel
This can't all be real
Oh God what have we done ...
How could we?
How could we?


Details | Free verse | |

October 13th

Wake up a little earlier; another troubled night
But the remnants of pre-birthday make-up still do their job remarkably
Smile for the camera; these pictures are keepers, so realistically modelled for
Thank yous for unthoughtful offerings; why hurt feelings after all?
A dozen friends all come along; it's not their scene but they want to please me
Can't look over there, have to be the last to go through the door
They're trying so hard, all their love gathering on my windowsill
Some cards handmade with heartfelt affection, gifts so vague and cliched, more 
roses than I could care for
And your dusty eyes still staring through them all from behind the frame
Complete the scene as my headstone

Couldn't have slept at all
Excitedly imagining what you were planning
Warm in your jacket you gave me to sleep in
Wouldn't lift or lower my foolish head
Jitters looking forward to you
Flash could've gone off but we wouldn't notice
Shroud me with your words, promises you could not keep
All the guests combined; a less than you companion
I wonder why we couldn't make it through?
And I'd never had to say goodbye 'til the day that I met you
All that I'd got for we pushed them all out
And I didn't miss them.
Didn't miss them.

Why are you still asking after me?
How do you still reach into my eyes
Before I turn away?
What happened to let us get like this and tell me
When can it end?
How is it I want it to stay?
Though there's a soft spot for you in my heart and you're
Slowly seeping out

Frozen as this face remains
Breaking when I'm forced to recall
I'm 18 and you're not here
But she passed on your message for me
Happy Birthday.
And in those obligated words it all crashes back
I'll keep all our secrets and ignore all the rest
The world we made and left to decay
Keeps me smiling for every wasted day.


Details | Free verse | |

Felo-De-Se Dream

I just drank a fifth of vodka
A lot on my mind
I start crying
But not because I'm sad or scared
It just feels like I'm supposed to
Razor blade in my hand
Ready to cut my flesh
First I slit my neck
Then both wrists
See the blood drip
Feel it running down my skin
Hear it hit the floor
Smells great
One taste & reality hits
Blood is gone
No cuts
Or tears
A voice says,
"This is your future"
Then I wake up


Details | Free verse | |

Consume Me

A smile so achingly perfection 
Only hiding evil buried deep inside 
Emptiness and destruction is all you leave behind 
Your love consumes me, burns me from within 
Leaving only darkness, where there once was light. 

Now I’m just a shell, no not even that 
More a memory of the me that disappeared 
As you caressed me with your deadly touch 
Your love it consumed me, burned me from within 
Hidden scars eternal, a reminder of your deceptive evil 

How is it you still consume me when there’s nothing left to take 
Only a hollow void where there once was life 
Yet you’re an obsession I just can’t let go 
Even as I turn to leave, we know it’s not the end 
Only a matter of time, until I’m back again. 


Details | Free verse | |

Another Name

Tears
Such a soft, gentle word
For an experience
With the power to
Shake the soul
Wrack the body
And flood the hollow spaces
Of the heart
The hot, hard tears
Of anger and frustration
The constant clinging tears
Of grief and loss
The uncontrollable tears
Of irrational despair

Someone should invent 
Another name
For the relentless pain
And shrouded darkness
Called “crying”
And free the word “tears”
To mean only the iridescent
Tears of pure joy.


Details | Rhyme | |

She Died Right There Before Me

To me, she could've said anything
I wanted so badly to hear her say,
"I love you and I'm gonna try."
But all she said is "I just can't stay."
She looked away, I stared her down.
I needed to see her eyes.
She looked at me and that's when I knew...
THIS IS THE DAY MY MOTHER DIES.
She died right there before me.
I watched her fade away.
Her eyes were glossing over
as I begged her "PLEASE, JUST STAY!"
She said goodbye and drove away.
I've learned to deal with loss.
But, now she says "I'm coming back!"
She doesn't know the cost.
To me she's dead, she can't come back.
She'll have to remember the day
that she died right there before me
when she said she couldn't stay.


Details | Rhyme | |

Somebody To Love

I have no roof to shelter under
When the sky begins to rain
For an umbrella through the thunder
I will always hope in vain.


Details | Free verse | |

The Arms of a Stranger

The odor of warmth and affection,
The feeling of love and protection,
An isolated heaven of love;
I lay in his arms like an angel,
Like a white dove,

At the moment,
I am living an endless time
Of eternal happiness,
Life seems to be everlasting…
Life now, is a colored painting 
Of smiles and joy,

Words slithered between his lips,
Like tiny insects sliding on the petals
Of a bright-colored flower,
I contemplated his beauty as 
I heard his tender voice whisper,
“Thy beauty is like the azure sky.”

Perfection is what I am seeing,
His words kept on repeating
In my head;
In his arms I lived another life…
A nirvana created by his glaring eyes,

“Thy beauty is a mosaic picture on the walls of heaven,”
His words swayed like the dancing waves…
I lay there inertly,
With a river of feelings penetrating 
My soul like an addictive kiss of his,
I smiled…   

--------------------------------
My feelings suddenly shifted,
I felt tiny droplets of water condense
On my cheeks,
Were they tears?

My anguish was immense…
Sadness and grief formed
A body of confusion that mystified 
The fantasizing feelings I had felt,

Here I was,
In your arms;
My ally, the person I shared my life with…
You held me tightly trying to ease
The pain I was feeling,
The pain created by you…

The tears in my eyes created a reflection of
My sufferings,
The sufferings that tend to draw a continuous
Picture of your betraying eyes…
I cried and cried as I felt your arms
Hold me tighter,
I felt no comfort at all…

I closed my eyes trying to place myself
In “his” arms again,
The arms of the stranger 
That allayed my soul like tender music,
Like a harmony created by the soft,
Emerald leaves that danced with the wind…

I smiled again…






 
  


















Details | Lanterne | |

TURMOIL

My
heart breaks
within me-
deep inside I
weep-
peace
is so
elusive
my mind cannot
sleep-
is
love so
unreal,
is it out of
reach-
who
will be
true to me
and their promise
keep-
if
I say
a prayer,
will faith take a
leap-
do
you have
an answer,
to life...fathoms'
deep.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

I believe in love a little less each day

Life can get pretty hard when relationships go astray.
I believe in love a little less each day.
Marriages used to last fifty years, now they last fifty weeks.
Couples keep breaking up even though true love is what everybody seeks.

I've gotten a lot of rejections because I don't have much money.
Everything gets dark when I begin to think it's sunny.
I have pain and anger because life goes this way.
I believe in love a little less each day.


Details | Romanticism | |

Gun In the Closet

Gun in the closet,
One in the drawer,
One under the pillow,
Does he need any more?

Scotch on the bar,
Jealousy on the mind
Can take you too far...
Your fate can be signed...

A loud bang,
A jolt,
A puff of smoke,
Gone is Beauty
In one sad stroke...

The Devil helped
Pull the trigger,
Why?
Cause he loves
To make Good People die...

There is no way
I could live with this...
I'll hunt him down
If the law is remiss...

I won't need,
a gun or a knife
For me to take
this bastard's life

He's made us pay
The ultimate price
For you, your life,
To him, just a wife...

To me he killed
Both Love and Hope
And when I find him
Should he grope
For his gun
He will find
My hand has shoved
His nose 
Into his mind...

I'll break it first
for extra pain,
My vengeance will
Never be sated
For my prayer of hope
Is now in vain.




Details | Ode | |

Welcome To My Life

I'm dying in this slow decay of the senses.
Senseless agony consumes my mind.
Eating my soul until I'm gray.
Gray like the leaves at your funeral.
The day the color faded and beauty went away.
The sky is falling, 
But, only on me.
As the Heavens are calling,
They tell me to leave.
But don't put your faith, your faith in me.
Don't trust fate,
For nothing is meant to be.
The slow silent squeezing of my petrified soul.
I left my heart with the sugar,
In the bottom of the bowl.
The wounds of the mind,
Based solely on the knife.
Look for my flaws and you'll always find....
Welcome to my life.


Details | I do not know? | |

Phoenix

Knowing me now, I take the central target
No matter what it seems that I am lost
I throw away what could maybe save me
I break apart when I need to stand
If I am so much to me, why must I fall down?
To over-think what comes, I’m full of lies
But this self aggression is what I was raised on
Without depression I feel that I’d be gone

With hopes of grandeur and a hope obsession
With lies built up as though there’s no such thing
With hate affliction and a love addiction
I’d be dead before I’d even smiled

Knowing you now and my eyes wide open
I am the phoenix and I’ll take you down
For within this anger lies a desperate child
No matter what he knows he can’t be saved
Despair is over and his dreams forsaken
The ashes rise now and the blame’s on you
When I wake without the mask of laughter
I will scream and I will burn you down

My judge will die now and all words forgotten
I am fire in its purity
Even if you see me I’ll tear your eyes up
Burn you out with no sincerity
I’ll reach your mind and I’ll make it blind now
I’ll find a way to make you hate yourself

I am all of you and more
I’ve seen through everything before
What you feel will gather in me
And with this I will bring you down

I am fear and I am the helpless
If I live, my goals are far too dark
With self destruction and a fading mask now
Give me ears and I will avenge
The self conflictions that avert my eyes here
They’re too far gone now to ever stop
So give me anger and I know I’ll smile
Feed the phoenix and you will get burnt


Details | Rhyme | |

I Blame Cupid

Cupids arrows
Must be dipped in poison,
Because I thought hearts were meant to beat,
Not to be broken

In the beginning i was in love
And thought it was all meant to be, 
Just me and him, in harmony.

I was going to walk away, 
But I decided to give him one last try
Then he hit me, with his solomn goodbye.

Cupid, you aren't always right.
The choices you make
Can backfire and turn love into hate.

Its not anything new to me, 
My life has always been filled
With suffering and pain.
But this time its not my fault, 
Cupid's the one to blame.


Details | Free verse | |

Them

I walk with them
I experience life but they only dismiss it
I change my ways and they don’t notice 
I fall and they walk on by
I talk and they ignore
I cry and they turn there backs
I hope and they destroy
I laugh and they make me angry
I do well but they have to do better
I feel myself falling and they only notice themselves
I want to scream but they silence me
I want to prove myself but they won’t let me
I want to do rise above but they chain me down
I put on a pretty smile and no one is the wiser
I have them fooled and they don’t even know


Details | Rhyme | |

At Night Alone

  So here I sit, at night, alone
  Bored and just too many cigarettes to burn
  So I smoke and I wait, seemingly for a call
  And really just ache, cause it's not coming at all
  You're too many miles away from home
  I feel the distance at night, alone
  I hate you for the restless nights
  And I hate me because I know it's not right
  To sit in front of the computer screen
  Searching for the words I just want to scream
  Not even knowing the pain that I feel
  How to describe what feels so unreal
  I miss, just miss, everything that is you
  Laughing for hours at things that you do
  And how could it be that this is the end
  What was to be a lifetime of new things to begin
  But here I sit, at night alone
  And the numbness inside is all that I know


Details | Rhyme | |

Forbidden

Untouchable, yet close enough to touch.
It's wrong, I know but I want you so much.
You are the compliment to who I am supposed to be.
You are the one who can set my tortured soul free.
To help me to thrive and to inspire me.
It brings tears to my eyes to think of the impossibility.
There are too many obstacles in our way, 
Too many people to hurt, too big a price to pay.
So with a friendship I must be satisfied,
And bury these feelings deep down inside.
It's just that from you it will be too hard to hide,
When I spend so much of the day at your side.
I think that I am going out of my mind.


Details | Personification | |

you are you

Where do I go ?
What should I do?
Cannot mistake 
My feelings about you.
Running behind,
Making mistakes,
What do I give?
What do I take?
You seem to know 
What I should do 
But, you're not me
You are you...

Empty feelings,
of being alone.
I cannot wait
until you're not home.
You yell, you scream
You make mistakes.
But now it's different,
it's O.K.
You seem to know 
What I should do
But, you're not me 
You are you...

Undying surface
Emmenseful pain
You have no knowledge
that's what I'll gain.
Crucial arrogance,
times go bad.
I'll always remember,
I have no Dad.
You seem to know 
What I should do
But, you're not me 
You are you...


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled

You can drive your fancy cars
Living it up like movie stars
While small children have nothing to eat
No place to live no light no heat
Hopeless drunks living like dogs
Passing out sleeping like logs
While you sip your fancy wine
Pretending everything is fine
But I know that you feel the guilt
And as you watch your garden wilt
Remember the little starving child
Lost in a world neither meek nor mild
Or the drunk stinking and ill
For the bottle he will kill
You wonder if the child ate
If his parents show love or hate
Is the drunk a friend or foe?
He's not himself he's sunk so low
You're not better than us all
You're still human you'll still fall
Don't forget us while you're great
We don't need anymore hate


Details | Couplet | |

Disappointment

Disappointment was never as lovely as she
Hope caught in my heart fighting delicately
She's always the dream that never fades upon waking
The cause and the comfort for all of my shaking

I like to glance over then turn carelessly
Just to see if it makes her come over to me
Her smile is infectious and wipes away fear
If it fades then I show her that I'm always near

Sometimes we are split by self-built barricades
So I break through our silence of awkward blockades
And no matter how often old times we recall
We'll forever laugh and the false walls will fall

They all think I'm crazy my truth to repress
Do anything for her and never confess
Yet silently love I continue to show her
It's enough just to feel that I'm getting to know her

But despite my devotion and adoration
There still remains space for one complication
The spark in my eyes grows colder and dim
When I am reminded she's happy with him

Surely love wants the best for the person it's for?
Not selfishly trying their joy to ignore
But however hard jealousy my heart will dent
If my darling is happy, then I am content.


Details | Free verse | |

Pears and Lilies

Across the cold concrete steps
Are strewn pears and lilies

A very long time ago
A grave tragedy occurred here

No one saw anything
No one said a word

Dark spirits now protect the site
Somber, powerful memories still remain

At the corner of forever
Out on the edge of time

Where something means everything
But means nothing at all

Stands a figure transfixed, keenly aware
that beyond the void and

Across the cold concrete steps
Are strewn pears and lilies


Details | I do not know? | |

Nervous Breakdown

Heres comes the nervous breakdown,
quick depression into slow anxiety.
Heres comes the nervous breakdown,
swallowing pity of yourself.
Heres comes the nervous breakdown,
cold heat shaking your bones.
Heres comes the nervous breakdown,
aching brain, twitching veins.
It's the nervous breakdown
with explosive results.
Why the nervous breakdown?
Because too much knowledge provokes me.
Bring the nervous breakdown,
sadistic, painful enticing.
Stop the nervous breakdown,
I cant find my purity.
Hopeless enemies
of ones self slipping
into my mind of cleanliness,
polluting my being, turning
it into an everlasting jungle of mazes
containing horrible truth of
my family, my friends, my country.
I want it back.

I want it back.
I want it back.
My original self,
my starting line,
my old life.
Why has the essence of family tainted
what is theirs to enhance?
My head hurts,
it bubbles with the 
honest to god reality
that is my creation.
Still the nervous breakdown,
here only minutes but already
it is acquainted with me.
Now I shall begin life anew
into an anxious depressed, shiny and new.
Old self being.
But if I'm finally used to my new attachment
then
why
does
my
head still hurt?


Details | Lyric | |

Life's Bottomless Pit

Bankrupt and broke life has given to me
Endless contradictions with windows I see
What a shame that it is to be in this bind
However the outcome I'm losing my mind...

Yesterdays care gave out almost there
While trailing once more, lifes relentless wear
Has taken me down again and again
Yet this time it's different, this time I give...

Watching and wishing I keep on missing
Something inside that will stop it's pissing
Life's pissing on me and letting me know
Get out of the way get out of the flow

I've fallin again and boy I fell hard
Fighting lifes ways justifies my scar's
Painful emotions have robbed me today
It procrastinated awhile and became enraged
  
What can I do when inside me I knew
There's somewhere I'd been adjusting my view
I am all the way down and feeling quite sick
Standing on the bottom of life's bottomless pit...


Details | Rhyme | |

Run and Live

Tender torrent, week long moment
while the skies fill dark and crimson
Back lit lightning, lovely, frightening
while my heart trips over itself
Call the whisper, brother, sister
sweep the sky with your liquid eyes
Tin the rooftops, as the heart stops
waiting for thunder to stomp the air
Birds stop singing, ears are ringing
as the clomping rain pools up
Trees kiss soil, burnt turmoil
while the wind lets loose her breath
Run for cover, father, mother
beg the sky to lift you high
If you listen, brother, sister
you will hear the sound of death.


Details | Free verse | |

Crawl into Me

Scattering into broken pieces
Of debris,
My life has become a black painting
Of nothingness,

Within myself I see,
 You concealing me,
I feel droplets of misery
Crawling into me, to simply become…
Me… 

I wonder if my tears
Could water the eternal desiccation,
That fills my life with hopelessness…
When will “I” reappear?

Nothing but this undying pain
Remains,
The memories I thought would 
Never die…
Have killed the happiness…
And have gone away,

Like eternity,
My sorrowfulness is my days,
Is my dreams, is my prevailing thoughts, is
 Everything that creates my life…
It’s me…

Rage flows in my veins,
Like boiling blood;
I’ve become an explosion
Of resentment…
Like a volcano of red, burning hatred,

All these particles of my sorrow,
Crawl into me,
Triggering a reflection
Of the person I don’t want to be…
The Me in me…

Crawl into me…
The person I was,
The person that you were…
The person I want you and me to be…

“Farah,”
The calling of my name revived me
From talking to my shadow,
“Farah, go to sleep...You have school tomorrow!” 
My mom yelled…

Before switching off the lights,
I glanced at my shadow again
With tears in my eyes,
And quietly muttered,

“Crawl into me...”
 


 


 






Details | Free verse | |

Dream

everything is peaceful and calm just like always
but then suddenly something is different
I wake up and realize yet again that it was just a dream
just one more dream that will never come true
for my life is far from peaceful and calm
I wake up yet again to a world gone wrong
a world as scary as any nightmare
maybe we're all just dreaming this world
and without dreams it wouldn't exist
maybe we're all just someones dream
someone like me dreaming their life away
hoping that things will get better some day
isn't that why we all dream?
to escape from our fears and problems
if only for a few hours
dreams are a never ending addiction
the almost perfect drug
and we all do it
we sleep everyday to escape our lives
only if we sleep will our dreams come true
but they're only an illusion
maybe the only way to make a dream happen
is to die and dream an eternal dream


Details | Free verse | |

Nothing More To Do With You

This ends right now.
Confided in me then threw it all away
There can be no love left within me
Angerfeardisappointmentdespair
But you've lost it all now - I've given up on you.

He's got you doing I don't know what
And the rumours are rumours but the rumours are true

And if I saw him I swear
I'd smash his face in.
Could do with another outlet after all
These stabbing shrieks inside my chest
Scraping at my flesh and bone
Won't let them penetrate me

See her; who is she?
Wonder if you know her
She's everything you pretended to be
Emotionless beneath that metal
Trusting no-one still being betrayed

Who are they in the frame with her?
These strangers who casually call themselves friends
You're so stupid
They couldn't care less
Watch you stagger and fuel the habits they helped you start

Mindless idiot.
She's going to die and she's taking you with her

Don'tpiercethatdon'tsmokethatdon'ttakethat
What more can I do when you block me out?
Sleep around black out come to me for comfort
Crazy little girl, could slash you and let all the bad rush out
But then of course we'd have nothing left
And it grieves me that it's come to this
Can't stand it anymore; you're on your own you've got a choice you'll make the 
wrong decision I can't be there to guide you

Confided in you then threw it all away
Can't keep these lame promises and I know
I said I'd always be there
But I was there for you and I'm talking to myself 'cause you're dead on the inside
And it's spreading fast.

Not one redeeming feature
Could rip you apart wouldn't harm you for the world
Save you from it all leave you there for them to get you
And they won't find my girl, person worth protecting
Her and you'll be there instead already gone already dead
You all shall scream
Won't turn my head

And I'll remember you today
For what you used to be
Days that seem too far away

You're ugly now in every way.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Snowman

Encased in ice and frozen
So the world could not break through,
The beating of my bitter heart
Soon faint and thoughtless grew,

And from this frigid, frosty state
A life of snow was born,
So followed through my days was I
By my defence's spawn,

This snowman bore down on me,
Soon becoming my excuse
To withdraw from society,
A self-confessed recluse,

Every day I'd see him there and
He would stand in front of me,
A reminder of my shame and
Self-inflicted misery,

Nobody new could I let in
When chances came about,
For the snowman blocked their entrance
And forever shut them out,

So this fashion continued and
The years passed in a haze,
I was convinced this chill would stay
To curse me for all my days.

Then one day I saw the sunlight
Through the bolted window pane;
Suddenly I heard a cracking sound
And I was once more sane.

Gasping, I clasped my icy heart
Which had begun to thaw
And I collapsed, my mind starting to spin
Before emotions rushed to outpour,

Then the snowman's fury caught me
But I had now begun to weep
And the creature howled and fell,
Keeled over into a heap,

So hot tears came running forth
As I let them fall, and knelt
Over my silent snowman
Who gradually began to melt.

On and on I cried until at last
I had no more tears,
So I stood up and waded out of
The pool of all my fears.

As time went by the pool grew smaller
Until the water cleared,
Then my heart was warm as all
The frozen fright had disappeared.

Now my door is always open
To the good times and the bad,
And my heart holds no more frost or snow
For a creature to be clad.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Return

Promises made on the day he did depart.
After a  long wait in hell.
When his feet touched  familar soil they'd  make a new start.

But time is a empty partner indeed.
Nights turned to endless hours.
And in a moment of weekness  she did concede.

With time and regret so we do learn.
He saw no one waitting.
On the day of his return.

So many happy smilling faces none he did know.
Just strangers in another life.
He just a extra in the background of this  traggic show.

He knew the adress but couldnt reconize  the place.
many storms had passed.
But haunted was the look apon her face.

Tears  and regret over what she had and for
what she did yern.
Victems of time  tears but not of joy.
Shed apon  this sudden return.

Deep within the eyes  thoose old feelings 
almost did shine through.
A confession in pain.When she waved farewell
it was already threw.

A leason of  emptyness two former 
lovers did learn.
Passion like any flame dies.
Leaving only smoke and darkness
to greet you apon your return.


Details | Lyric | |

.Alone.

you. are not. alone.
with cavernous ceilings closing in,
the impression of depression driving in the direction
of some unreachable goal of controlled insanity
– because always in control are you –
you harp on your uniqueness, your originality,
when in fact you are one of a many,
one of a group,
something you try so hard to deny
as the blood starts staining your hands
and drip, drops on this hallowed ground.
through the watery haze of your righteous tears
your gaze fails to fall on the footprints
of another and another, walking the floor,
their lifeblood draining just as yours.
all around you they sway, scepters
of tragedies pushed away and forgotten,
long forgotten,
as you blindly flail and try not to fall
off this lonely cliff of Last Resort where
you. are not. alone.
you search and you seek 
empathy, apathy, sympathy, any “-pathy”
to ease the pain of these lost, forgotten days,
and yet you miss these hands reaching out
wanting to hold you miss these words
said only to console you miss these eyes
meant to draw you in
and all you see in those eyes is a reflection
of something you’ve tried to deny
and you continue to balance
walking the  lines of chaos, trying not to spin
out, of, control
– because always in control are you –
you try to survive on the bread and bones
 of those come before, but blind you are
to the nature of your food, blind you are
to this world you stumble through
and blame endlessly, releasing you
from the responsibility you are being punished for, and
you. are not. alone.
so dive of your platform of solitary fears
dive into this river of comfortable tears
swim alongside these ghosts of years and years
of tragedies so like yours
let them carry you away from this
cliff of Last Resort and know that
you. are not. alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Not Real

I've laughed with these people,
Took long journeys with them,
Thought I could truthfully say,
"You are all my dearest companions"

Looking out at the gray,
Knowing you've all forgotten,
Forgotten all our rambles,
Forgotten me too.

For one sin did I make,
And you condemn me for life,
Shamed as I was,
You deserted me here.

Pounding the ground,
My body would shake,
Retchings in my throat,
As I tried to get free.

For this one sin have I done,
And only one does it take,
For you all to condemn me?
And leave me do die?

What kind of love did you have for me?
In the waking hours I would think,
Think of you all, if you were in trouble,
Pray for you all, if you were in need.

Now as I have fallen,
You won't dirty your knee?
To help me up?
Strengthen my courage to try again?

Desperite tears would comb the ground,
My body shaking from the pain within,
I could not breathe from the dry sobs,
Racking my body, tearing my bones.

All this for one sin,
One sin that would not help me cleanse,
Shamed you left me here,
And here I have lain, ready to die.

For why should I live,
If you are what I once called
Dear friends, and thought to be,
Dear friends....


Details | Lyric | |

Let Me Go

You make me feel
So beautiful
When you're mine
You make me feel
So wonderful
When you're not lying
But I cant 
Stand to see your arm around her waist
And I cant
Stand to hear you calling out her name

Im begining to see
That you only want them
When you no longer have to chase me
And you only want me
When I belong to someone else

You tend to call me
When I dont want
Anything to do with you
You tend to call me
Late at night
When Im with someone new
But I cant
Stand the nights when you dont call me at all
And I cant 
Stand to hear that you were at her house all night long

Im begining to see
That you only want them 
When you no longer have to chase me
And you only want me 
When I belong to someone else

Why do you
Do this to me
Why cant you see
What this is doing to me
After I find out your lie
I lie in my bed and cry
And I wake up in the new morning
Only to geel the new break in my heart forming

Im begining to see 
That you only want them
When you no longer have to chase me
And you only want me
When I belong to someone else

Let me go
or hold on to me
Let me go
or just dont leave
Let me go


Details | I do not know? | |

Hello/Goodbye

When You See Me I Say Hello
When I Leave You Say Goodbye.
How Then Did I Not Know My Hello
Would Be My Last Goodbye.
When The Phone Rings I Hope To
Hear Your Voice And Its Soft Tone.
But When It Rings I Hear Someone
And Its Not You How Could This Be.
Your Sweet Hello's Come To Me Like
You Never Left My Tears Start To Flow
When I Hang Up The Phone.
Hello/Goodbye I Often Cry For Your
No Longer Here What To Do Where 
To Turn.
My Tears Start Falling And My Heart
Burns Because Your No Longer
Here To Guide Me.
Hello/Goodbye I Just Don't Want To 
Cry But I'm Hurting Still My Life Will
Never Be The Same.
How To Deal? How To Cope?
I Just Think Of You And The Tears
Just Start To Flow.
Hello/Goodbye God Why Oh Why 
Did She Have To Die.    





Details | I do not know? | |

Drowning

I sit alone,
eye's sparkling in the moonlight,
but something wrong,
the sparkles are tears.

I hurt so deep,
Pain that tears,
rips,
eats me alive.

Inside my decaying body,
I know I'm drowning...


Details | Free verse | |

The Gingerbread Man

We lay side by side in the summer grass,
I reached for the gingerbread man kit
And lifted out a slightly crumbled biscuit,

Taking the tube, I iced a shaky smile onto its face,
Added big, hopeful chocolate drop eyes
And wrote 'I love you' down its front,

Then I handed it to her and said,
"This is me, take care of her,"
And she grinned and bit off its head.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Darkness

The beauty of nothing
Is what I see
If people opened their eyes
They would not see me.
There maybe less space
When I am around
But I am not seen
I cannot be found.
I am not worth 
My weight in gold
I am not worthy
For someone to hold.
I do not wish
For another day
I do not dream
I no longer pray.
I do not understand
Why I'm still here
I do not understand
Pain and tears.
Explain to me why
The good are to die
The bad left behind
To continue their lies.
Where is this light
I hear about
I'm lost in the darkness
With no way out.
I think of death
And what it might be
To end this nothingness
Which is me.
The answers continue
To be hidden from me
For today, tomorrow
Perhaps, eternity.
You cannot give love
Then laugh at me
For I am lost to the darkness
And no one sees.


Details | I do not know? | |

Crying, Sighing, Lying, Dying

Tired of crying
The same liquid anguish
The same  control pill
These tears are trying
These tears are winning
At mining out all optimism
At crashing all hopes

Tired of sighing
The wasted effort of pushing out air
An unheeded attempt
An unheeded despair
I've got nothing left
Had nothing in the first place
So why am I sighing?
If theres no memory to dream of

Tired of lying
This same old facade
My smiles are of a Noh mask
Interpret them as you may
A smile in irony
A smile in decay
I have a morbid sense of humor
But you can think I'm really happy
Your thoughts make no mark upon mine

Tired of dying
The same thing every day
My soul is broken into pieces
One dies a day
While the others just rot 
Waiting for their chance
Living like deer in headlights
Just terrified, blind, watching themselves die.


Details | Free verse | |

Home Is Where the Heart Is Stilled

Abandoned places,where
perhaps memories linger,
with wisps of wafting moments,
aware, somehow, even of  the now,
Though long forgotten by all others,
One wonders why, and surely how,
Such strong vibrations of the past,
Seem to time, to have taken a bow...

Gutted building, windows broken,
Creaking, leaking floor,
Last stepped on by the living,
So many, many years before...

Where lives were lived, and
deaths have come in their way,
To others, in a time gone by,
Who here saw their last sad day,
Tears were cried,hearts
were smashed,
Love withered, its flame 
reduced to ash...

Is this a mysterious black hole of time??
A singularity, of now and here...
Where time is not so limpid...
And death is always near,
And fear can swim in the unknown,
The fear of time's mysterious cloud...
As ticks, as tocks, somehow go forever by, 
so mysteriously, and seemingly, oh so loud...

What was the last calendar's  year hung?
The last phone call received,
And who had been the one rung??

Ghost House,
Ghost House,
Scary, time
abandoned place,
Secure in forgotten
nothingness,
And with time, 
you've lost the race.


Details | I do not know? | |

Wings of Lead

on wings of lead some shall fly
not to soar but to fall
weighed down by the burdens of life
they tumble out of control
unable to stop or slow down
the pain of life to much to bear
some don’t even care
they are lost and will not be found
their lives seem meaningless
doomed to an eternal wandering
there are those that soar
and those that fall
save yourself I’ll tell you 
while you still can 
for I am falling to
wishing I had done something so long ago
but now I’m falling and I cannot stop
nothing can stop me 
but hitting the bottom 
only death could stop me now
for I am falling and there is nothing to stop me
my life unlived and cut so tragically short
tragic to you maybe 
but freedom to me
no longer weighed down by the wings of lead
I am free of my pain 
pain so severe it made life unlivable
unable to soar with the rest
I fall as do so many
unable to keep up from the weight 
shackled to my misery and depression 
I pray for it to end quick
that I may be set free
free of what haunts me so gravely
the fear of life itself


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear Little Girl

Dear Little Girl,
Why do you cry
When you’re kicked down
Over nonsense?
It’s not your fault
Besides,
A broken bone
Is better than
A broken soul


Details | Quatrain | |

For You...My Friend

I get the silent phone calls.
I know she's on the line.
Why don't you be a man for once
and choose her home or mine?

You say I must be crazy
because I do accuse...
You must have forgotten
how much I have to lose.

I've given you the better part
of my unhappy life.
Why can't you just be satisfied
with me being your wife?

Have I made you be unfaithful?
Do I not fulfill your needs?
Or is it just your selfishness
that makes you do such dirty deeds?

I'll get the strength to leave you,
and believe me...when I do,
You'll Pay for all the pain you've caused
when she does the same to you!


Details | Free verse | |

Hell Is For Heroes

I ran the blade under my thumbnail,
scouring dirt with the tip,
and stared aimlessly at the street.
Switchblade thoughts clicking,
metronomic stilettos on wet paving,
drawing closer.
In this sleeping wakefulness,
this illusion of life,
she never arrives;
waiting, as you do, for endings,
or new beginnings,
becomes strictly habitual.
They say hell is for heroes,
abide there with fiery halos
and tickertape ash.
I ran the blade under my thumbnail,
pressing harder, drawing blood,
a singular jewel procreating,
welling then dripping, dripping.
I’m no hero,
just a deadening excuse
like the rest.
And yet it still feels like hell
to me.


Details | I do not know? | |

When I close my eyes


When I close my eyes 
I see us together 
Wrapped in a warm loving embrace
You are kissing me
You are caressing me
Our hearts beating as one
Time seems to be standing still
You are loving me again
No other fills your heart
You whisper in my ear
“Baby I am sorry for everything
You are the only one that I want and love”
My heart skips a beat 
As tears roll down my face
God has sent you back to me
I open my eyes
And you are gone and no longer there
No longer mine
For you love and are with another
Tears run down my face 
As reality sets in again
My heart and mind shredded and shattered once again
Pain and heartbreak consumes me
I reach out for the only thing that remains of you
Your pillion, you scent lingers there
I hold it tight to my chest
It is all that I have left of you along with the memories
I wish the vision I see when I close my eyes was real
I pray to God for him to send you back to me
To make you mine for the rest of time






Details | I do not know? | |

The place you put me in

As I sit here in the middle of our bed
I stair at my med bottles
Tears streaming down my face
My heart laying at my feet
Shattered and broken into a zillion pieces
My thoughts so confusing
My emotions ragging out of control 
And so overwhelming
My vision so unclear
Hurt and pain engulf my body
This hell I am in here and now 
Is all because of you
Everything you taught me now destroyed 
Trust broken
Heart shattered 
World destroyed
This hell is becoming almost to much for me to bare
I am trying to be fair to everyone
I am trying to be strong
But without you I don’t know if I can survive 
You say I did nothing wrong 
How can the be
When your love for me is gone
I don’t know what to do or say
For you to change your heart and mind and stay
No matter what I do or say 
I am the one who hurts and looses
This pain keeps hurting more and more each day
My love for you will always remain
There are only two ways I see to end this awful hurt and pain
One for you to come back to me and love me again
Two to end this hurt, pain and suffering for good
To take all my meds and walk away to die on my own
The first unfair to you
The last unfair to our children
I pray that the good Lord watches over me
And shows me another path
For I am afraid that I will end this pain for me 
Only to cause a lifetime of hurt and pain for our children


Details | Rhyme | |

Never Taken Away

They've taken my knives,
they've taken my pills,
so I look at you
and my pain refills;
they can take the razors
they can take the beer
but as long as you live
I'll have monster and pain adhere.
Let them take what they want
but they can't keep me alive
because, while you hold her
all the damage I do to myself, thrives.
They can take away the glass,
the mirrors from the walls,
but while you are in my memory
I will walk haunted halls.
Let them take what they will,
for no one here can see,
as long as he lives
I'll have something to hurt me.


Details | Free verse | |

Un

Don’t you dare
   think
of
   leaving me with
the mess of you
to
unknow the heart of
you
to
unlearn the soul of
you
to
untie the strings of
us
to
attempt to defy
the laws of
nature


Details | Rhyme | |

Disarray

Come slip
beneath
   my skin
where time has
   lost
   its mind
where
angles slew askew
   toward chaos
close behind
where
   up
   sees
   hope
that
   down
betrays
   left
standing
unaware
that
   right
goes toward
the
   light
and
   dark
collects despair


Details | Rhyme | |

Grim Fairytale

Of stunted dreams
and lying schemes
on sand the castle stood
       	~~~
through windows slit in deep stone walls
no light be found within
the moldy, moody corridors
resound with deafening din

she dreams of love forsaken
and feeds them to the birds
who keep her from insanity
silent whispers without words

she spends her time with puzzles
in the dungeon dank and dark
digging for missing pieces
of her torn and scattered heart

one day the gates will open
the lock will rust and fall
she’ll step into the sun
and not look back at all


Details | Lyric | |

Teach Me How To Love

I was born beautiful
But…deformed by men
Lead me the way… 
To humanity


Details | Free verse | |

But Why Part of Mine

My lungs scream for air
But my throat is too tight for breath
Nobody is there to hear me cry
Nobody cares that I just want to die
No one understands the pain that is building up inside
It’s all a part of life
But why part of mine?
I try to move my hand
But my muscles are too tight for motion
Nobody is there to hear my try
Nobody cares that I’m trying to die
No one understands the emptiness inside
It’s all a part of life
But why part of mine?
I try to sit up
But my legs are too weak for standing
Nobody is there to hear me sigh
Nobody cares that I’m soon to die
No one understands what I’m feeling inside
It’s all a part of life
But why part of mine?
I try to wake up
But my eyes will not open
Nobody is there to hear me say ‘Bye’
Nobody cares that I know I will die
No one understands what it is going on inside 
It’s all a part of life
But why part of mine?


Details | Lyric | |

105

105
105
I just hit 105
Am I alive?
Am I alive?
Driving in rage at 105
Run away
Run away
Leave behind this day
105
105
I can’t escape going 105
A lonely heart
still falls apart
No matter how fast you go


Details | I do not know? | |

Dark Land

the people are insane
and their all in chains
bonded to their fear or life
and I am one of them
the nights are long
and filled with pain
enclosing me in their arms of shame
theres no way out
no matter how hard I try
I can't find the key that will set me free
someone please help me
my freedom rots away
into an unknown feeling of decay
the end is near
I see it there
salvation is near
finally I can rest at last


Details | Free verse | |

Outcast

forgotten and rejected
I am the outcast
ignored by all abused by many
you see me every day
yet you see right through me
in your eyes I don't exist
another nameless face in the crowd
I am lost but will never be found
wandering aimlessly forever
unsure of where to go next
I am scared
but no one is there to comfort me
for I am the outcast
alone in the back of every room
there is one of us
you may not see us
but look hard enough and you will
don't look too long for I may look away
embarrassed and ashamed of something unknown
don't enter my world unless you are prepared
because once you are in there's no going back


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

DOMESTIC ABUSE

the children are crying
again there's trouble in the house
their mother's in the corner all bloodied
and cowering like a mouse
the father, the husband
who calls himself the king
seems to only dispense verbal abuse
and violent beatings
the police have been called 
but she won't have him arrested
she thinks her faith, beliefs 
and vows are being tested
her friends can't understand why 
she won't just get away
her family is praying that
he won't kill her some day
 
domestic abuse seems to be on the up-rise
yet society always seems to be shocked and surprised
you'll hear people say, "they seem like a very nice couple"
but behind those closed doors there's nothing but violent struggles
the children are always looking neat on their way to school
they seem very shy and the mother acts somewhat cool
but inside that house no one really has a clue
of the level of domestic violence and abuse


Details | I do not know? | |

hallucination

i love you
the instant you spoke those words
my senses shook
as the sight of a cool spring in the desert sand
i wanted to drink until my belly imploded  with satisfaction
those words held much power over my life
but were plucked away
corrupting my once blue oasis
into a septic pit of suffocating pain
you extend your hand to save me
and i do not reach for it
i dare not reach for it


Details | Lyric | |

Untitled

It’s no gain to waste all this pain.

A disgrace to not always hide this face.

My mind is lame, and it’s a shame,

to feel so numb and not be dumb.

I hate to say life’s not always been this way.

It’s an outrage that I ever lived outside this cage.

Apathy works best for me.

Cold-hearted to myself, the cheaply departed.

Sadness makes me the happiest. 

My loneliness makes me feel so blessed.

This bitter resentment fills me with contentment.

My biggest folly ever was delaying this melancholy.

However this ailment is reaching my fulfillment,

Leaving me empty, sad, happy and whole.

My bitterness is such bliss.

A feeling that I would surely miss.

I often lament evading this torment.

This suffering is the greatest thing ever.

I frequently regret never being upset.

Now I daily look forward to the sorrow that’s promised by tomorrow,

and I pray it comes each and everyday.

Without its displeasure I cannot carry on,

for it is my greatest treasure.


Details | I do not know? | |

You touched me down there

(This is a fictional poem but this really does happen.)

You touched me down there and I'm going to tell Mom and Dad.
Don't touch me there again because I know that it's bad.
You touched me down there and that was wrong.
When I tell my parents, you won't be my nanny for very long.
I'm only an eight year old boy, why do you treat me this way?
You touched me down there and when I tell on you, you're going to pay.


Details | Lyric | |

Afraid to Feel

I feel afraid, afraid to feel, I look in the mirror, I bow my head and then I kneel. 
Hearing the screams burned in my mind, yet afraid to listen, fearing what I will 
find. Upon me lies a cape of darkness and gloom, I wear it like a shroud and 
hide in my room, ! stare at the door hoping yet fearing, that an end to this 
suffering is finally nearing...afraid to feel or feeling afraid, I can no longer tell, I 
find myself wondering if this could be hell....afraid to feel, what can be done, 
when the soul fills with fear and the hearts song goes unsung... 

Tis a tragedy of shattering despair. I cry out,"Someone please tell me when I 
learned not to care!"  I grab my head and pull my own hair, whispering, why me?  
It just isn't fair.  I long for days past, when love was constant and I had faith it 
would last. Now I scream silently, begging for the return, of the emotion that fate 
so carelessly burned....feeling afraid, afraid to feel, why hast thou forsaken me? I 
ask as I kneel. 

! hear the answering sound of madness laughing, as it takes hold of my mind, 
leaving me gasping. Now comes to me my greatest fear, darkness falls upon me 
as I shed a tear, as my sanity begins to unpeel, I suddenly realize.....that I can 
feel....I look toward the mirror, and the glance that assures me I'm real, also 
assures me I'm still afraid.................... afraid to feel.


Details | Lyric | |

Pictures

I burned the pictures
Every one of you and me
The love notes and teddy bears
Yes, I burned everything

I destroyed all the evidence
And all you left behind
But as I sleep, I'm haunted
By the pictures in my mind

Every 'I love you'
Every time we laughed
All the whispered words
It all comes rushing back

Drowning in the memories
Left unhealed by time
And resurrected nightly
By these pictures in my mind

My pillow, the only witness
Of tears that fall like rain
And silent sobs that echo
With guilt, fear and shame

Denial keeps me going
And refuses to see the signs
Believing all is well
With these pictures in my mind

The days pass so quickly
With never a thought of you 
But day slips into dusk
And with the darkness, there is always you

With every day's new dawning
I wake hoping to find
That with the next moon's rising
I'll be rid of these pictures in my mind

I hope, I wish, I pray
Somewhere, someplace, sometime
To finally find the flame
That burns these pictures in my mind


Details | Rhyme | |

A living hell My Agoraphobia

My Agoraphobia.
In 1983 you came back  into my life.
Bringing me nothing, but trouble and strife.
You kept me a prisoner in my own home.
When all I longed for, Was to go out alone.
You caused me pain, you made cry,
I felt so ill, I thought I would die.
From doctor, to doctor, from pillar to post.
Where o where, is the cure I wanted the most?
Where exactly does the answer lie?
Eventually I found it, in a doctor called Di.
She gave me the will to carry on and fight.
I fought so hard, with all of  my might.
The shops in the village seemed so very far away.
If only I could go out, just for one single day.
I tried and tried, the tears, the pain,
It was a battle lose or gain,
I gave it everything, yes everything I had.
It wasn’t easy, in fact, it was very bad.
In 1990, after 7 long years,
A lot of heartache, many, many tears,
I was starting to win the battle of getting out the door,
With each day, I was doing more and more,
But there was still so many things that I couldn’t do alone.
Still so many jobs, that had to be done on the phone.
I could now walk to the shops, there and back,
 get the groceries, take them home, and unpack,
But I still couldn’t get a bus into town on my own,
only if I had someone to go with, borrowed, on loan.
It took several more years, of heartbreak and pain,
Before I could finally travel alone again.
May 2nd  2000, I jumped on a bus and popped into town,
It was just like my world had been turned upside down.
HERE WAS I FREE AT LAST,
Finally free to forget the past.
So I decided to do something I had never done before. 
I started at college part time, each day I couldn’t wait to get out of the door,
To catch my bus, to feel like I had finally rejoined the human race.
Living life at a hectic pace.
Going to college at the age of 53,
Really did do wanders for me.
The computer course was harder than I thought it would be, 
but others in the class helped me.
Our tutor was really nice,
Always ready with good advice.
Now I really feel I have turned my life completely around,
With this new freedom I have found.
With a lot of help, from my husband and son,
The battle is over, finally won.
So its goodbye agoraphobia you belong in the past,
Never again will you get me in your grasp.

This is a true poem of my own battle with Agoraphobia, That robbed me of a lot of my life, 


Details | Free verse | |

Just Some Highschool Math Problem

i am a possibility
of many possibilities
i am a ratio
an indecisive factor
in the rest of what this dimension has to offer

the world is a top
i spin it and predict the probability
that the end will equal the means
or perhaps surpass it
even if i never surpass this muck-up
these broken eardrums
and the inquisition of my empty head exclaiming empty words

and i don't even exist
especially to the solipsists, nihilists
and i no longer give a sh--
i am now officially some lazy apathetic prick

oh i could have been a possibility
but that possibility was so small
that you'd need a magnifying glass
and some tweezers

i am rust, oxified and tearing up
i am crust, the sh-- in the ring on the toilet
i am lust, but never just enough
i am bust

i am a loser without a leash and/or choke chain


Details | Epic | |

We Lost More Than a Dad

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost half of how we came to be
We lost we four girls first love
We lost our Best Friend

We lost more than just a Dad that day
Our Mom lost her Soul Mate, Her other half 
Our children lost their Papaw
We lost our family’s foundation 
We lost the glue that held us together

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost the Strongest man we ever knew 
We lost the man we looked up too
We lost we four girls Teacher of many things

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We four girls lost our Hero
We lost some of our Light
We lost part of our Heart
We lost part of our Soul

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost some of our Courage
We lost some of our Strength
We lost some of our will to fight back
We lost some of our will to carry on
We four girls lost more than a Dad
We lost more than just a Dad that day


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 1)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 2 to complete the poem and leave your comments on the Part 2 submission. Thank 
you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain diminished 


Me, Myself, and I...


“There are things that concern us,”
		Consensed my “Selves” in earnest
““We” fear that “I” have succumbed to delusion”

“And after careful deliberation
		It is with much hesitation
That we choose to delineate upon this confusion”


“Fact is your intuition
		Is riddled with superstition
And your judgment leaves much to be desired”

“So you leave us no recourse
		Don’t push us to use force”
It is then that the “I” was summarily fired


I exclaimed “By whose authority?” Response, “Rule of majority”
“The “Myself” and the “Me,” (forthwith the “We”), are experts in our field”

“And with much technique and time
		And some forays into the sublime
The nature of your malady will be revealed”


“So to keep yourself from having a fit
		Step back and just calm down a bit”
“We,” they said, “certainly have this under control”

“We swear this won’t hurt at all”
		Then I felt my inhibitions fall
Still I said a prayer to God that He keep my soul


You know, fact is I do feel off axis
		As evidenced by such parapraxis
As this prose that I, (or is it “Us”), seek to pen

And with my mind feeling numb
		I finally chose to succumb
And allow the “Me” and the “Myself” to begin


And then came questions in a flurry
		Answer, answer and please do hurry
Not one moment of respite did they give

They pushed and they prodded
		With every “T” crossed and “I” dotted
My mind felt like it had gone through a sieve


And all this psycho-analysis
		Is causing my mind paralysis
The questions, can you stop with the questions please

“Yes, oh yes indeed
		I do believe we have what we need
To make an attempt to identify your unknown neuroses”


Details | Lyric | |

I Hate You Cancer

Dedicated to my Dad who lost his short battle w/ Colon Cancer on June 18,2013

I hate you Cancer
Your vile evil and cruel
You don't care who you hurt
I'll never forget that day
I'll always hate you for it

Your heartless Cancer
You took someone important from me
Someone important from others too
Took people who didn't belong to you
I hate you for it

You disgust me Cancer
You had no right to take him from me
He mattered more than my very own life
I hate you for taking my Daddy
I hate you for taking others too

I hate you with a passion Cancer
You took part of my heart with him
You took part of my soul that day too
I hate you for it
I hate you I hate you I hate you

I hate you with every fiber of my being 
Go back to Hell where you belong
I hate you, others hate you
Your not welcome or wanted here Cancer

I hate you more than his doctor's
I hate you more than God
I hope I get to witness that day
Witness the day you fall
And you will fall Cancer

You're gonna lose the battle one day Cancer
I'm gonna laugh and dance around your grave
You'll finally get what you deserve 
And you'll never be able to take another soul


Sabrina Niday Hansel


______________________________________________________________________
Placed 8th in Poet Destroyer A's  2013 "PINKTOBER" Contest

Please Support a Cure for Colon Cancer & every other type!









Details | Munaajaat | |

Tell Me

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know

Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know

Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that

You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know

You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me, Help me to understand

You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel

How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door

You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't take his place
Answer me, you owe me that much



Sabrina Niday Hansel
~Niday40873~

(motif) Spiritual


Details | Lyric | |

Don't Cry

Please don't cry over my casket 
For I am not there 
Please don't cry at my grave 
My soul has been set free 
I know it's hard not to cry 
I've been down that road one to many times 

I have no more pain 
I have no more sickness 
And I would not change a thing 
As I walk threw the gates of Heaven 
Mom Dad our brothers and sisters 
Will welcome me with open arms 
Here I am free of that pain 

Don't blame yourself 
It was my time to go home 
This is where I'm supposed to be 
Don't dwell on things which you can not change 
I will always be in your heart 

I will always be watching over you 
When that day comes for you to come home
I will be there to welcome you 
With open arms
And walk you threw the gates of Heaven 
You will be greeted by our family & friends
Who came home before you 
Until that day I will be watching over you


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 2)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 1 first so as to get the true gist of the poem and leave your comments here on the 
Part 2 submission. Thank you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain 
diminished.


Me, Myself, and I... (continued)


“Your, (Or “Our”), symptoms seem to intermit
		And the fact that “You’re,” (“We’re”), a hypocrite
Tis no wonder we’re having such problems with diagnosis”

Then “I” had an idea so grand
		To dispense with this at my own hand
A self-inflicted coup de grace would be my prognosis


So while the “Me” and the “Myself” squabbled
		With courage newly cobbled
“I” spotted the dresser drawer and made my run

With fingers fiercely fumbling
		Whilst they continued grumbling
“I” produced from the depths of the drawer a shiny gun


And now my life, though ill-fated
		Was soon to be vindicated
This would affect us all equally the same

Would be no myself or me
		No you, him, us, or we
But an inclusive all would be to blame


It took me a moment to figure
		Out the safety on the trigger
Then “I,” (or “Us”), prepared to do the dirty deed

Then the barrel found my temple
		And as it settled into the dimple
A still small voice did my “selves” choose to heed


Hence a moment of clarity 
		Harkened me to posterity
And I thought what a legacy to leave behind

“Can’t we all find a way
		To save this miserable day
And avoid a broken body for someone to find”


And then deep within my soul
		I felt and heard a simple drum roll
And the differing sides of me just subsided

And with my mind now as one
		I worked to get this all undone
The whole business of this stuff I derided


And tis now true of fact
		That I survived this ordeal intact
And lived to raise my face unto the sky
 
And here now as it ends
		I find I’ve made good friends
With the “Me”, the “Myself,” and the “I”


Thank you for taking the time to share in my poetry. Please feel free to leave your thoughts 
or comments here on this page. 

J. Scott Burns...


Details | Free verse | |

Agree to Disagree

                                               
                                               Mankind's greatest
                                                 accomplishment...
                                                       
                                                      

                                                      is death.


Details | Lyric | |

Overcoming Struggle

Overlook a lifetime past
Remember how it did not last
Life changes quickly before your eyes.
This so called reality surrounded by lies.
A sad thought it may seem
I do not want to open  my eyes to another dream.
Real reality set in.
Lets look forward and begin
I am in this game of life to win.
I will not give up and lose.
I will stand tall
even though I am battered and bruised.


Details | Tanka | |

Ribbon Tied

you took both my breasts
leaving me with a flat chest
worse, feeling like less - 
   I feel like a man even
   in my most beautiful dress


11/12/12
Black Eyed Susan
*Dedicated to all women who have lost a breast (or both) to breast cancer - and also to my friend Pam who I just found out yesterday  (11/14) has it and is beginning radiation


Details | Elegy | |

The Lament For an Angel

All in one faded-black day (but let None forget) In my arms, her body lay (my life was the price to pay) A tragedy, through the lack of humanly shame (do they know pain) My darkly colleen has to suffer no more (Robert nor do you) Let me die (please hear my haunted cries) If I can not see Sophie tonight (live on with my grey) I'm just a mess of despairing words And broken nerves Another mourning, afflicted sight (through decay, love can remain) Solace, sympathy are just more lies She is all I need Until you decide she is just another sadist's toy My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away (My body is amortal, die I may, Together, our hearts will forever stay)


Details | Rhyme | |

Smoking From the ones left behind

(FROM THE ONES WHO ARE LEFT BEHIND)


To all you smokers out there.

I’m not going to say, give up, I wouldn’t dare,

If you want to smoke, it’s up to you,

But I don’t want to smoke your smoke too,

So many lives it takes away.

It really is a high price to pay,

Especially for the ones left behind,

The ones you love, so very kind.

They are the ones left with there hearts broken,

So many things left unspoken.

They are the ones, that have to nurse you night and day,

They are the ones, who sit and pray,

They are the ones left with the legacy of what you’ve done,

When you can’t breath, because of your lung,

They to would like a voice,

They to would like a choice.


Details | Narrative | |

The Baseball Shame Game

Long gone are Hammerin’ Hank Aaron
and The Say Hey Kid Willie Mays.
Now there are only Steroid Sammy Sosa
and Bulked Up Mark McGwire.
What the heck happened to our beloved baseball game?
It’s a hell of a thing! It’s a doggone shame!


Details | Ballad | |

London

She called herself London
On that day 
She fell from the sky
Child of apple blossoms
Dancing wildly
Into your mind

The snake that hung from her neck
Bites your hand
Expels you from Eden
Tears into the cool flesh
Of your madness
Posing as reason

London
Kisses you like a sweet lover
As though she really cares
Lets you 
Taste the passionate orchard
In her body’s secret lair

London
Wrestles with all your demons
Nothing quite compares
To the pain 
The indecent pleasure
In the waters that you share

Her name was London
Call her London

She called herself London
On that night
She prayed to the moon
Apollo’s lyre
Played darkly
In a portent 
Of your own doom

The hell she hides 
In her soul
Toxic drug you’ll never escape
You crave the milk of her touch
Her strange and dangerous ways

London
Kisses you like a sweet lover
As though she really cares
Lets you 
Taste the passionate orchard
In her body’s secret lair

London
Wrestles with all your demons
Nothing quite compares
To the pain 
The indecent pleasure
In the waters that you share  

Her name was London
Call her London

My baby, London
Call her London
My moon-girl, London 
Call her London

I love her, London
Call her London
Forever, London 

I call her London……


Details | Rhyme | |

A Hurricane with an Eye of Pain

A force so hard
And colder than cold
No matter how you guard
It'll make a building fold

You can try to run
You can try to hide
There'll be no sun
You'll go down with the tide

The eye is suppose to be calm
But this one is full of rain
You can try to recite a psalm
But you'll only feel pain

No one can save you now
It's time to feel the hurt
Take your last bow
And fall to the dirt

The anger you couldn't contain
Has caused you endless rain
This isn't a normal hurricane
It's filled with pain

Written on August 3, 2012


Details | Blank verse | |

No One Can Hear Me

I awake, not sure whether I am alive... or dead
I wait, for the smell of the hearth... and baking bread 
But, what greets me is the smell of the privy next to my bed
I am like a ghost.. no one remembers what my last words were
I listen for the clucking of hens
I listen for my goat in her pen
I listen for my little brother, my kin
I do not hear them
I yell, For my mother
For my father
For my sister
But no one can hear me,
Not even the gods


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Rhyme | |

Thoughts That Grow Louder

With a whispered thought comes a dream
To be above the shame and guilt
Of losing pride in what would seem,
To most, the whole of what we built.

With a quiet thought comes the fear,
And shadows close the doors of reason.
I see racing frames of pictures clear, 
Rendering unbearable deeds of treason.

With that clear thought, I stand corrected-
So much love has come and gone,
But I, alone, must stay connected 
To what I know and where I belong.


Details | Acrostic | |

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!


Details | I do not know? | |

I'm Sorry For Being So Cold

My words may feel so cold,
Yet this feeling of falling and 
Then trying to be so loving
Eventually misleads me to 
Feeling like she or myself 
Is gradually shoving my feelings 
Through an invisible door.

It's all so not worth 
Letting this sorrow corner me in,
My mind is wondering if I'm truly fine with
Having no one special in my own current life.

My reasons for trying to 
Move onwards from there
Were nothing but idealized dreams
Turning into unpleasant realities. 

Who knew that a few days 
After those euphoric moments
I would be realizing that 
The strings of my heart were pulled
By desires so unnecessary for healing 
My own inner strife.

My words may have been so cold,
But it's only because this sorrow I go through
Will always continue beyond tomorrow.

You don't deserve being 
My eternal object of depression,
Yet you are also even taking it 
All too simply to be the object
Of my true love and affection.

My feelings from loving you 
Were absolutely true,
But I now see I was so wrong 
In believing in my own naïve thoughts.
So fleeting was the beautiful 
Rendering of my soul,
Except that no one knew then 
That it was only a game of pretend.

Wanting my first kiss returned, 
Yet again I guess first can mean the worst,
So I guess I'll find someone 
Who will become my second best.
After telling you I can't love you anymore, 
I now feel as if I can finally rest.

My words were only so cold,
Because something in the depths of my heart
Was calling out to be heard.

In the end though I have released myself
From the bittersweet feelings I gained from 
My voice and feelings that once were forsaken.
I'm sorry for being so cold.


Details | Narrative | |

A Land Bearing Green White Green

Which way leads to the 
land of green white 
green?
Which way are we 
heading?
   A country the wicked 
bears the rulership, and 
the people sighing 
continuously.
   A terrible thing sprouts 
beneath the sun: a 
pregnant woman 
delivering not.
Imps come to lime-light 
by snuffing air from the 
goose that laid the 
golden eggs.
The blind guiding the un
blind.
The weak suppressing 
the strong-a terrible 
thing.
Like the overthrow of the 
gods at Mt. Olympus by 
the Titans.
A country where also 
thieves appear as men of 
integrity.
Land of green white 
green,which way?
A land where the 
enlightened ones are 
overshadowed and 
peanuts given to them.
The masses are dogs that 
eat the crumbs.
 Which way to go you 
Land?
Iliterates stand on 
podium of power 
bellowing orders as milk 
of sorrow known as 
dividends of democracy 
is passed around.
The machine of progress 
manned by the 
unproductive.
"There is better 
tomorrow" we hear.
Land of green white 
green,my country 
where rule of law walk 
beside anarchy.
The proles are sentenced 
to adversity,and there 
endured death-like trials.
Chai! Aru! People 
dancing on thorns 
whimpering as they 
throng 
along.
  I see a new sun rising 
from the horizon,hope is 
rekindled as its rays 
grace on hopeless bodies.
 Look!! there soon be 
change!



Note: 
This 
is 
poem 
full 
of 
Nigeria 
political
 angst.


Details | Narrative | |

Midnight Again

Its midnight again, TV on
The sofa becomes my bed
As the confusion of our lives
Fills my weary head

At times I drift off
And think of days gone by
How I yearn for yesterday
So bad it makes me cry

Other times I feel just like a kid
With something new to share
And you put your soul around me 
And tell me how much you care

At times I think its working
Like I’ve finally met the mark
And all too quickly it ends
And I’m alone, on the couch, in the dark

Why can’t it all be the way it was
That day on top of the hill
Am I really as bad a person 
As you can make me feel


Inside I try so hard
Outside it seems I don’t
I want to meet your needs
But I don’t know what you want

I try to be your husband
Your lover and your friend
Somehow I never am
And I find myself here again

I try to be a father
But those efforts just backfire
Somehow I manage to destroy
Everything that I desire

I ask myself, “Is it worth it?”
Why don’t I start anew
And after hours of contemplation
Just one answer, “I love you”

And resolved to that end
I lay my heart to sleep
And I pray the lord
Our souls together he will keep

A silent kiss to you and the kids
In hopes of a better day
As I close my eyes to dream
And let my troubles drift away 


Details | Ballade | |

The fear of life

The fear of life.

For nine months in warm sweet world
I float there peacefully
Then cast into that birth canal
It kind of frightens me
I feel I’m suffocating
And I don’t know what it is
Too soon I enter crazy world
Far from the gardens bliss.

As light comes shining everywhere
The panic settles in
This world is filled with action
And so much awful din
I feel like I’m in trouble
Yet there’s naught that I can do
It seems this place is crazy
That I’ve been cast into.

Then as I grow from babyhood
And listen to the lies
That all these madmen tell me
Cause they’re not very wise
It seems that something’s wrong with me
My life it feels off key
So the only question on my mind
Is ‘What is wrong with me???’


Details | Rhyme | |

The Axe Falls

A.W. Nutter

Silently creeping through the hall
Concealed in the darkness of night
From God’s grace I will surely fall
My hate bringing me such delight

The handle turns easily in my hand
As your door opens without a sound
Emotionally trapped in sinking sand
Realizing I’ve entered unholy ground

Induced pain and sinful transgressions
Flooding my mind, causing me to digress
Lowering the axe in fear and frustration
Screaming out to heaven in my distress

My demon awakens, grabbing an arm
Devil's child trapped in Satan's web
Beaten into submission, easily disarmed
Forced on a path, angels refuse to tread

A cold wet tongue slides across my back
Slowly destroying my childish innocence
A game of humiliation before the attack
Completely devouring my spiritual essence

Forced to my knees I see the axe
Mirrored blade reflecting a coward
As his leather belt caresses my back
The axe is swung with all my power

Dark red spray, stings my open sores
Blood soaking me like a pouring rain
As his twitching body falls to the floor
Demons turn, to scream out in pain

Walking back to my room in disbelief
Trying to comprehend what I had done
Curling up on my bed finally feeling safe
Patiently waiting for morning to come







Details | Haiku | |

A Sister's Love

A sister should see
the atrocities
and help attain sanity


Details | Elegy | |

Where are you

You flourished and blurred
like a spark on wind

Gracefully and quickly like a frightened hind
in pursuit of light

You harvested through bushy meadows
taken by blight

In struggle with plight
had you lost your might

And gave out
although never you gave up.

Where are you?
For you must be still there.

For I still can feel you
somewhere in the air.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Social Norm

Drink the drink, and take the pills, lay on the medication.
But your soul's forever lost to them without persistent dedication.
There's things we've learned, and things we will, to decide us right from wrong.
But your ears are only open, now, to a techno-logic song.
Social norms have bound you tight, then cut you awf'ly deep.
And still your soul beneath the surface begs of you, relief.
You waded in their welcome waters, thought it nice and cool
But now I'm sure you've figured out you're lost in sorrows pool
So take it from who knows you best
Someone who has passed this test:

Before you drift out in the sea And the shore's no longer in your view, I promise that I'll bring you back And if I can't, I'll follow you. Before your legs and arms grow weak And you've passed your final tier, I promise that I'll hold your hand; I promise you I'll still be here. Before your lungs are filled with water And our souls are parted once again, I promise you that you're forgiven; I promise you I'm still your friend. Before you close your sunken eyes Inviting night to kill the day Know your bright was never slight And soon you'll see your way.


Details | Epitaph | |

Put it on my tombstone

Lived amongst the dead
Then decided to join them


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Leashed Down

Leashed Down


Bound by my hands
Bound by my legs
Bound by my waist 
Bound by my neck
I can't  hear
I can't  smell
I can't taste
I can't see
I put everything away and only thought of
What brought me joy.Nor do I want to
Cry leaving my captures to smile about
To gloat,to have that unknown brutal power
Over me which is held in one tear.
My  body numb,my heart is stopped,my mind is blank
Is this dying? Why am I paralyzed? Could it be falling a sleep?
These chains are cold but everything is hot.What feeling beside
Pity would become of me?..Be it not grief not sadness not even remorse.
But as I stand up from this seat,I am nothing more then a well mannered
Pup on a tight leash.


Details | Rhyme | |

Screaming In Silence

How can it be that you are dead
These thoughts keep racing inside my head
I can not believe it, it can not be true
How can I live in this world without you
My life will be empty, my heart broke in half
You're my reason for living, you make me laugh
How can I go on, how can this be
I'm falling to pieces, please can't you see
I'm crying, and dying, and empty inside
All of these feelings I can not hide
Where do I turn, what will I do
I just want to die and move on with you
They say that I can't, they say I must stay
I must keep on going to face the next day
I can not conceive it, I feel out of breath
I do not know how to deal with this death
Oh, God please help me, please reach out your hand
I need you to hold me and help me to stand
I turn to you now, my saving grace
Please take his soul to a higher place


Details | Ballad | |

You're Just A Stranger

Why do you despise me
why can't you let me be,
how come you always pestering me.
How come you can not see
I am beginning to turn my love away from thee
Just as you are turning your hate on me.

I proceed biting my words back 
and just nodding my head
you think i am the one to blame
but you'll end up losing me instead.
I try to talk to you, but you
cut me out and shut your ears
where will this get us
in fifteen or so years.
 
You bring down the pressure
while i try to do as you say
Only until i lose, you win
will you stop yelling and walk away.

Here i sit, expressing my stress on paper
only hoping tomorrow will bring
something better
and that i won't lose my life forever.
Please forgive me 
for this paper may be wet with tears
I know this is a stage in life,
I pray will pass in a few years. 

As i write my anger fades
but when i think about you it returns
I hope we both learn from this
For I may lack empathy
but you are always so very stern.
It seems everything I do
has gotten on your nerves
And I know you don't hold it inside
For your anger does surly splurge.

Tonight you have taken my phone
and cut me off from my friends I truly need
your words hit me hard,
and to you I can not plead.
Someday I may realize
what you did was probably right
I will try to understand,
I will try with all my might.
But until that day
or until through my eyes you see,
You are still a stranger
You're just a stranger to me.

Nov. 21. 2011


Details | Ballad | |

Please Listen To Her Prayer


While you’re watching over all your children from above

Listening as they send to you a prayer

Please God will you take some time to listen to my child

And find a way to let her know you’re there



Through the years she suffered a very tragic loss

Her happy life was shattered; torn apart

She tries so hard to hide the lonely tears she cries at night 

She tries so hard to hide her broken heart



Through the years she put aside her sadness and her pain

And found the strength to be both mum and dad

She never let them see the hurt, they only saw her smile

Although she’d lost the only love she had



She's struggled through the ups and downs that losing someone brings

She battled on and fears were cast aside

But every day I see the hurt and pain I know she feels

I see the unshed tears that fill her eyes



But now I see her worrying for someone else she loves

Her child...her precious life and soul

I watch the pain and sadness returning to her life

I watch the years of heartache take its toll  



So please God will you take a while and listen to her prayers

Let her worries, and her burdens cease

Take away her pain and sorrow, dry her lonely tears

And help my daughter find a sense of peace



I need for her to know you’re there no matter what life brings

To guide her when I know she's lost her way

I need to know that once again a smile will reach her eyes

That happiness, she will find again someday...






Details | Rhyme | |

The Park -- Part One

Pigeons flutter in the park
eating refuse from the grass.
Noon comes; the hours pass.
Leaves fall; the sky grows dark.
Silence reigns throughout the park.
A crumpled headline, a forgotten toy,
lifeless, do not hear a far-off bark.
In the park, not a single little boy.
Midnight comes; the hours go --
soon, the sky begins to glow...
morning breaks, and with it, sound.
In the park begins the morning round.
White skeletons of benches -- slats --
in all the wintry parks of Age
fill up in morning. Deserted flats,
each with the aspect of a cage,
become an unused, waiting gauge
that measures dull and wasted years --
floods of loneliness -- rivers of fears...
The weak and battered, pallid crowd
which, daily, parks ingest
speak in muted tones; but loud
is the message all suggest.
The clangor of the beaten Belles,
trampled in the slime of years,
entreats the mind to plug its ears;
yet, if it will, it hears...
memories, perhaps, keep active still
the shriveled and the loosened flaps
that are the mouths of all the Bills --
reduced to gray and ugly gaps...
Down the graveled pathways come
children bent on carefree play.
Belles, though silent, are not dumb,
nor will the Bills forego their say.
But warnings fall on ears too deaf;
around are eyes too blind to see.
And so the tots, too young for Death,
play on and on till time for tea.
Day after day after day
children come and children play.
Pigeons flutter in the park;
Leaves fall; the sky grows dark.
Once more, deep silence claims the park.
Midnight hours come and go.
The sky again assumes a glow.
Wind stirs dead leaves to rustle.
Starts again the aimless bustle
of the battered, weak, and infirm-eyed:
those whom living failed -- who died
but still must play their signal role
of unloved, friendless, unhailed Old;
who gather daily in the park
to envy tots their vital spark --
the hope, the promise in their eyes --
before it fades, before it dies.
But tots at play -- the young, the bold --
must laugh and sing -- cannot be told
that youth's not long and Time is cold.
Time devours -- a ravenous beast --
and men are the courses at his feast.
Some he swallows in their prime,
 On some he waits too long a time:
 these rancid morsels, Time's midnight snack,
explore their memories. They hie them back
 to that old moment, deepest black, 
when they first dared to know -- and first said --
that Time's the master all men dread.
(Please read The Park -- Part Two, which is a continuation of
this poem...due to space limitations)


Details | Rhyme | |

The Doctor Is A Dead Man Walking

Bob had a special talent
That only worked in his men’s store.
He had ‘clothing ESP’.
He knew what his customers wanted…and more.

When customer would come into his store
Bob would invariably say, 
“Hello. I'm Bob. Don’t say a word.
I already know what you need today.”

And he was always right,
Never missed a color, fabric, style or size.
He even knew the necessary alterations.
Customers couldn’t believe their ears and eyes.

Meanwhile, in another part of town,
Joe had a pounding, relentless migraine
For every minute for more than five years,
It had driven him near insane.

He’d lost his job to the pain.
Then, he lost his wife.
He had lost a lot of weight and rarely slept.
Yes, his was a miserable life.

And, of course,  sex was out of the question…
Even a little self-abuse.
There was nothing left for Joe but pain.
He felt his life was of no use.

So, Joe went to his doctor.
“Doc, please help me end this pain.
Give me something to make me sleep
And never wake up again.”

“You know I can’t assist your suicide.”,
Then he looked sad, perhaps ashamed.
“I never dreamed it would last five years,
But I know how to end the pain.”

“You can make it go away?!
Tell me, Doc!  What’s the word?”
“I’ll have to remove your testicles.”
Was the last thing that Joe heard.

But…when he came to, it struck him.
Sex was out of the question anyway;
But he might enjoy his meals again,
And he could sleep for days.

“Please check me in, Doc.
This opportunity I cannot shirk.”
So, the doctor removed his testicles.
He did his very best work.

A few days later, Joe waddled along,
Headache free and feeling pretty nice;
But every attractive woman he saw 
Reminded him of his sacrifice.

He decided it was appropriate
To do something nice for himself for a change.
So, he went into a travel agency;
And a six month cruise he arranged.

As he left the travel agency,
He was excited, feeling ready to go;
But for such a glorious adventure,
He would need new clothes.

As he walked along, he saw Bob’s Men's Store.
He walked in, only to hear Bob say,
“Hello.  I’m Bob. Don’t say a word.
I already know what you need today.”

“How could you know?” asked Joe.
“It’s a gift.  I don’t know how, but I do.
You’ve suffered five years with an ailment,
Found relief, so now you’re taking a cruise.” 

Joe could not believe his ears.
How could this stranger possibly know?
"You're right! That's amazing!
And I'm going to need new clothes." 

Bob then laid out a fabulous wardrobe
All the right colors, fabrics, styles…and each size.
Joe was incredibly impressed.
He could hardly believe his ears and eyes.

“How do you like the wardrobe?”
“It’s wonderful!”  Bob could see that Joe was pleased.
“Now,” said Bob, “What about undergarments;
You know…shorts and tees?

Let’s see…medium crew neck tees, all cotton.
I believe that you prefer white….
And jockey shorts, all cotton…. 34s.
Yes, I'm sure that’s right.”

Joe beamed, “You’re an amazing talent
And I just this second realized,
You've laid out this entire wardrobe
And only missed one size.”

Bob, surprised by his mistake, asked, “Really?
What did I miss?  I did my best for you.”
“Well…you’re right.” said Joe, “I do wear Jockeys,
But…well…I wear 32s.

“Oh, no!” said Bob with an ugly grimace.
“That would be a serious mistake.
Thirty-twos would be too small, 
They would cramp your balls.
You’ll get migraine headaches.”


Details | Narrative | |

The Final Confessions II

These were my confessions
(A message to God)
The light begins to fade
(It’s time to go)
Back into the shadows
(That hard black fog)
Where darkness has its way
(God rest your soul)

Nothing left to tell you
(It’s all been said)
No more songs to write
(This silent Fall)
Nothing left to offer 
(The well’s been bled)
From a shadow’s waning life
(Who lost it all)

Take my words and hold them
(Don’t be afraid)
Place them near your heart
(And heal your pain)
Shadow words will kiss you
(And heal your pain)
When your world turns dark
(Don’t’ be afraid)

And I kiss you
Kiss you
I kiss you in the dark……..


Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.


Details | Free verse | |

More Snippets

I. Bleeding -- a world without comfort -- lost without love -- no destination... silently walk without touching wounds... where is love? II. Frail fingers grope... sodden afternoons... winter fog... through gray eternity -- cold eyes, delicious mouth. Found love will laugh, desire returning. III. Making love, we deceived ourselves. Complicitors, we lied. Compliant pawns, we defied danger, practiced brilliant fabrication -- but truth was stranger. IV. Others know desire: ever changing years -- and lifetimes -- reaching towards the moon. Love, be my way.


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | Lyric | |

Forever Changed

June 18, 2013 our world was Forever Changed
We where over halfway home
When we got the call from our baby sister

Said we need to get back home
We need to come as fast as we can drive
Mom really needs us
Something’s wrong with Daddy
The whole way we drove 80
Hoping & Praying we’d make it in time

Our Family & Friends were weeping 
By the time we got to his side
We knew our Daddy had been taking
And our hearts they were breaking
We never got to say Goodbye
We each softly kissed that man
We four sisters climbed in his bed 
We laid down beside him 
And cried just like babies
For our world was Forever Changed 
 
 


Details | Villanelle | |

Colors in my Mind

my aging eyes have sadly become color blind though in my memories, rainbows frolic and play this mind will not forget what the eyes cannot find I miss rich skin colors, the beauty of mankind and the sparkle in a child's eyes, to see I pray my aging eyes have sadly become color blind hot sand between my toes and ocean waves remind the boldness of red and blue in my thoughts display this mind will not forget what the eyes cannot find from sunsets to flower blooms, God's brilliance designed in the warm breeze, petunias and daffodils sway my aging eyes have sadly become color blind colors in a Van Goth painting, boldly combined or the softly muted colors of a Monet this mind will not forget what the eyes cannot find dazzling emeralds, sapphires, and rubies once shined yesterdays beaming rainbows are now shades of gray my aging eyes have sadly become color blind this mind will not forget what the eyes cannot find By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, March 4, 2012 for Color Blindness contest (Olajide Adelana)


Details | Rhyme | |

Friends With Benefits

Living my life on the Dole*, Because my Mum told me so, Interview at ‘McDonalds’, but that Tyrant told me "No!", See, we're a family with pride, Don't sell fries at super-size, But where's the pride, If I can't provide, For my own style of life, Spent my money from the *Brew, On Irn-Bru**, I swear that’s true, Dreary, damp & cold, This black hole, I call home, Only 'joy' I get in life’s the 'stick' I use for X-BOX, And I aint got a tumble dryer so I step with wet socks, Work-shy, but money-hungry, Flats cramp-sized & pretty ugly, Arrogant guy, Until I woke up and realised that no-one loves me. Brain melts to slush, in this non-testing occasion, ‘Gain Work’ is a must, for a teenage Caucasian, Nothing separating me, From drug-addled Dads of three, No payday, Just giro day, No jobs… great, Keep trying mate, No end in sight as unemployment rises, Government gives you cash like they were handing out prizes, Where’s my reason to go out & work? My motivation, Its pleasing no-one now, this escalated situation, Experience is something that you earn, not that you’re born with, Inexperienced forever, if I don’t get employed quick, I don't enjoy sitting on my broken couch for hours, I'm your Friend with Benefits, can only wash with cold showers. (*Common British phrases for Jobcentre or Jobseekers Allowance Benefit) (**Famous Scottish soft drink mass produced around Britain)


Details | Kyrielle | |

Raven's End

I know that taking my life is a sin,
But you don’t know how much pain I am in;
Death is better than this hell I’ve been through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

My tortured soul robs me of breath,
All I seek is the release of death;
Requesting redemption in the gun I cling to,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

I’m considering briefly the life I must end,
Nothing is left but the chance to transcend;
And this decaying body that I pass through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

Raven they named me, but now they are gone,
I’m all alone since they both passed on;
Soon I will see them, it’s long overdue,
God grant me mercy for what I must do;

I beg for forgiveness as I let myself go,
Tears trickle down as I feel my heart slow;
Hopefully now I’ll get to see you,
So God grant me mercy for what I must do.


Tirzah Conway
~For the contest "Among the Dead"~


Details | Ballad | |

Rose Hips Lady

Rose hips lady
Your field is ripe
Bury my torn body
In that rain-soaked night

Taste those sweet confessions
On your baby breath
Lift this wounded flag
Into your burning nest

Oh, yes, I will
I will

Rose hips lady
Your field is ripe
Bury my torn body
In that rain-soaked night

Tame the roaring tiger
Never lets you rest
Take my last reward 
From your moonlit breasts

Oh, yes, I will
I will

Daddy’s gone hunting 
He’s gone away
Daddy’s gone hunting
Won’t be back for days

Left you with a lover
Makes a shrine 
Of your skin

Left you with a lover
Takes you down
Roads of sin

Left you all alone 
Alone

And the knots cut deep
Through the musk and flesh
Of hot regret
And the love you need
It’s a shadow
Never lets you rest

You release the Beast
From a well that’s wet
You will confess
That the love you need
It’s a shadow
Never lets you rest

Rose hips lady
Aaaaaah......


Details | Terza Rima | |

Deadfall

dults we stand for time has passed us by 
our childish ways have bloomed into a blight
the roots we set, now gnarled, so pained decry, 

the visages of springtime love's delight.
Upon foul winds you've flown, you've left
a thief without the strength to be forthright.

A fallen limb, a rotting bough bereft,
am I to lay alone, as winter comes,
as you bloom again within a riper cleft?

Is this your wish, and how your pledge succumbs? 
Never had I dreamed I'd be so harshly left 
for a younger bloom with naught but dried crumbs.

By sins of the flesh, we've been undone.
I will not forgive what you've become.


Details | Free verse | |

GROUND ZERO

GROUND ZERO Today as I stand here, With your name engraved not just on stone But in the hearts of millions who thank you For not letting them cry, I feel proud that it was you… We wish you were here, There’s not a day we don’t think of you. There’s not a minute we don’t miss you. But we’re glad you ran into death So that a thousand others could walk into life. It was not your duty, You weren’t meant to be there, But you took it up, Did what you had to do As a citizen of the global world. The little ones will never know What a wonderful person you were. But they’ll always know that You were a hero… How you died for the greater good… Tears, grief, pride, longing - a blend of everything. Its been ten years, ten long years But the memory’s still fresh and cutting. It still hurts to know That you could be here had you stayed back. But you didn’t and that’s made you a hero. You ran straight into it While a thousand others were running away. Your death is history…. Millions died with you But you stand out ‘coz you made your choice. As I stand here, I know that a decade ago, today You were here somewhere, Running into a cloud of dust and ashes Searching for the smallest sign of movement To bring them back to life. Somewhere between the despair and hope You forgot to breathe… I pray every day that History would rewind itself Back to that fateful September morning, Not because I want to hold you back… But because I want to come with you… It would have made a difference. I know it would have… I know you’re with me In my dreams, in my daily life Laughing at my blunders, Guiding me through hardships. My guardian angel… On this September morning, Not exactly the same as before, Here I am telling the world That my twin brother died Saving the victims of 9/11.


Details | Villanelle | |

Funeral

His family pretended not to cry 
But both his sisters had no heart to spare; 
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie. 

The blazing sun one summer day drew nigh; 
Its orange radiance it could not share. 
His family pretended not to cry. 

There was a man in hell beneath that sky-- 
Discerning now that care, like warmth, was rare. 
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie. 

All that his soul could utter was a sigh; 
The shattered saints in Heaven said Lord's Prayer. 
His family pretended not to cry. 

Like sunlight, his disease bore down to dry 
Emotions spent without concern or care. 
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie. 

Upon the desert ground he lay to die-- 
Addiction was much more than he could bear. 
His family pretended not to cry; 
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie.


Details | Narrative | |

The Woes Of Trust

An angel formed from 
lake of purity,a gift to 
mankind-illuminating 
darkest parts of hearts.
A chaste damsel,
untouched rose from the 
garden of the elves.

Sent to earth,made an 
abode in a gentleman's 
heart,whom she 
cherished and loved.

As time travelled,another 
fella whom she trusted 
lured her to un-saintly act
Her pride laid on altar of 
dishonor and infidelity.
Her life she almost 
snuffed,she feared the 
love of her true love 
would be lost. Alas! bond 
of love is indivisible.

Shattered,with a broken 
spirit she tries to mend 
the pieces....on the 
shoulder of her lover she 
leans,hoping to soothe 
her bruised heart.



Note:
A true story,a close 
pretty lady friend of mine 
was raped by her family 
friend yesterday...who 
called her and told her 
his mum was very sick.
She called me and 
confided in me .
Don't know whether to 
encourage her to call the 
police.


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled (And dripping with sarcasm)

It’s no gain to waste all this pain.

A disgrace to not always hide this face.

My mind is lame, and it’s a shame,

to feel so numb and not be dumb.

I hate to say life’s not always been this way.

It’s an outrage that I ever lived outside this cage.

Apathy works best for me.

Cold-hearted to myself, the cheaply departed.

Sadness makes me the happiest. 

My loneliness makes me feel so blessed.

This bitter resentment fills me with contentment.

My biggest folly ever was delaying this melancholy.

However this ailment is reaching my fulfillment,

Leaving me empty, sad, happy and whole.

My bitterness is such bliss.

A feeling that I would surely miss.

I often lament evading this torment.

This suffering is the greatest thing ever.

I frequently regret never being upset.

Now I daily look forward to the sorrow that’s promised by tomorrow,

and I pray it comes each and everyday.

Without its displeasure I cannot carry on,

for it is my greatest treasure.


Details | Tetractys | |

scattered shards

you left me all alone without a chance to pick up the scattered shards of my heart


Details | Lyric | |

Lullaby love

All I hear 
All I see
Is not meant for me
All I want
All I know
Is I cannot let you go

Driving forward
Moving back
Only one thing that I lack
Hope is clinging 
Holding tight
I wish you were here tonight
Dry my eyes
Hide the pain
Overwhelming to contain

For all I hear 
All I see
Is not meant for me
All I want
All I know
Is I cannot let you go


Memories set
Heart is bound
Now all must be drowned
Keep your distance
When so near
No emotions can appear
Burning love
Hidden flame
Love is such an evil game

All I hear 
All I see
Is so perfect for me
All I want
All I know
Is how it’s meant to go


Details | Ballad | |

Antigone

I am the face of misery
My life, a dissonance of autumn and spring,
The years are written in the same
Lugubrious, nostalgic grey
How can it be the author to blame?
I cannot scream this all away…
Burn nor Bleed this all away…
To Death I am Ordained

Lacuna ever growing
With Velvet sheets of life flowing
Aeons apart of my "royalty"
Under the mask the cannot see...
Can you dispel this tragedy:
Antigone - Epiphany failing

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

No words of hope
No words of hate
Do I have Lenore to send to me:
The sordid child of Thebes
Caught In the longest nightmare
life - the slowest way to die

I know this is my life 
But I'm not under control
under the mask the will see
Just Another Human

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

Can you dispel my life; this tragedy?
Can you control the storm in my mind?
I'm asking you: can you rid me
Of The Curse of Antigone?


Details | Tanka | |

Initially yours

your monogrammed towel
still hangs on the bathroom rack
missing your strong hands 
     now dry as an old stamp pad
     it no longer weeps your loss




Details | Ballade | |

Oh, what a hectic month

Oh,what a hectic month

Oh what a month it’s been
Two lots of relies came
Over from the old country
It’s been a frantic game
I’m not used to all this stuff
But I’m glad it all took place
Although it was real hectic
No frown did crease my face.

One trip to Margaret River
Wow! This, it was a blast
We toured those rich surroundings
Till we went home at last
Then the darned flue knocked me down
And I spent some time in bed
And then I put my back out
As I banged my bloody head.

It seemed that I was on the mend
But my computer shat itself
I lost both poems, and photos
They’re the sum of all my wealth
Thank God I got the poems back
Alas, but not the photos
I guess I lost them, all of them
But this is how it goes


It’s been some heavy karma
That’s all that I can say
But now that it’s all over
I feel real fine today
So it’s back to meditation
And working on my soul
It’s time to get some relaxation
And once more feeling whole

23 October 2013 @1450hrs.



Details | Rhyme | |

The Pursuit of Hollow Dreams

Trails and rails, and winding roads
Empty barns, abandoned abodes
I've grown too tired to bear this load
In this world, I have no place

My path has led me, far from home
I find no comfort as I roam
Away from all the love I've known
I'm lost without a trace

Along this path I wander, aimless.
To history, I shall be nameless
For hollow were the dreams I've sought
The right direction, I know not.



Repressed the jest that brought me smiles
My sorrow grows with passing miles
Upon myself, Ive brought these trials
I haven't the strength to face

I left the place where I belong
Too stubborn to admit I'm wrong
Despair is for those, who wait too long
There are too many steps to retrace

Disillusioned by my hopes
My soul is not equipped to cope
For hollow were the dreams I've sought
Of inspiration, I know not.



Tomorrow my sorrow shall grow even more
So distant the faces of those I adore
So deep is this anguish it clinches my core
I long for a loving embrace

All that I've gained, I would eagerly trade
For a chance to erase,the mistakes I have made
and return to their arms before memories fade
I ask this of God by his grace

Solitude is the burden of pride
and destiny is a heartless guide
For hollow were the dreams I've sought.
My destination, I know not.


Details | Ballad | |

Please Give Him Back To Me

I just don’t want to be alone
I don’t want to be free
I cannot be without you
But all that’s left is me
I lie here in the darkness
I scream, I shout, I cry
But no one seems to hear me
As I pray, I pray to die
There is no daylight in my world
No sun, no moon, no glow
No smiles or laughter; only tears
Just tears, sad tears that flow
I put my hands together 
I pray to God above
To take me from this lonely place 
And to the man I love
But in the deafening silence
I know I face defeat
I know I'm still alone, because
My broken heart still beats
He took you from my loving arms
And walked you through His door
You belong to Him now
You belong to me no more
I know I live on borrowed time
I know it won’t be long
Before I'm in your arms again
The place where I belong
And I will keep on praying
Until he hears my plea
To take me through the gates of Heaven 
And give you back to me...


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Confused

Confused

If there were thing's I couldn't understand,you was one of them.
Going back and forth with one another,like the wind and does in the howls 
of winter.You'd follow me to escape your own reality,only not knowing your shattering mine.You tell me to be me there was a time when I was me and you couldn't stand it like it was looking into the eye's of a demon.How should I respond? Running away only brings more then I can offer.
Now I'm drifting and everything left me,I'll suffer the venom of past and the reoccurring pains.
From the tell's of literature to the mounts of the great wars have I been able to tell just from their looks what they thought that very moment but as I look into your eye's does it not only confuse me it refuses to tell me the truth,why am I looking into my own eyes?
Let me touch your face.Let me look into your eye's.Let me see the truth which is clouded and locked away.Let me see your feelings fall from your eye's.
Burned. Chain. Shackled. Scared. Tortured. Entangled with lies.and yet harbors no hate toward anyone then yourself.How much do you loathe yourself? To the point your a sacrificial  offering of your own whim's?
As I search for the truth,I see the many heartbreaks and the lies been told to help but nothing prevails. Yet you look at me looking for the same thing.
We're both confused? We're both in agony? We're the same? 
This isn't right.This is a lie.I don't wish to see anymore.
I won't lose to this,nor bow down and be your toy.Yet when I'm close to you,it never cold.
Hold my hand as I fight with myself. Never mind hold me closer until neither of us is cold.Don't lie to me with those pleading eye's,that are like dark's as coal and beautiful as an onyx.
Let's be ourselves.Let's shut ourselves away from this world.Let's search for our own truth.But if there only fear in your mouth,then there's lies.I shall grab your heart and I will hold it like it was the last gem on earth.So scream,hate,and be gently.
I'm confused.Your confused.I will listen,if you will talk.
Have you ever heard these words before? I never have but I will say them to you,you who has the same pleading eye's as me.When we're so much alike yet so different to the point it confusing.


Details | Cinquain | |

Young Girls Pain

Love
Deceitful, wicked
Weeping, cringing, loathing
Things children shouldn’t feel
Hate
 
Intimacy
Repulsive, severe
Struggling, bleeding, collapsing
My pain continues unheard
Father
 
Hope
Abandoned, faulty
Hiding, listening, praying
Life is my suffering
Justice
 
Purpose
Forbidden, fruitless
Reeling, clutching, grinning
The agony has ended
Redemption

For more poetry goodness visit  www.checkmyflow.co.uk 


Details | Limerick | |

The young man from Dover

There was a young man lived in Dover
And he was the son of a rover
He fell into the sea
Cause clumsy was he
A shark came and it was all over.


Details | Rhyme | |

Blank Page

Too long have I been staring at this cruel blank page before me, My crazed, hysteric mind screaming and imploring I know there is a message that's dying to come out— I need to fill this confounded page without the slightest doubt! It's a simple predicament to manipulate, Into a mass of thought A futile attempt to insinuate, Weak hints are left with naught I sit here in silent desperation, What can fill this page? I slap myself in indignation, My eagerness becoming rage! Like roaches sporadically running from light My thoughts are but a haze The words I write just don't seem right, On this cruel blank page!


Details | Quatrain | |

A Mother's Son......For Dustin Cunningham

A smile that warms her heart.
 With bright, shining Angel eyes.
Soon his whole world would fall apart.
 When he sadly watched as his Mother dies.

No one to listen or believe what he saw.
 For years the truth lie in wait.
Each passing day, the pain made him raw.
 And for his step-dad rose a new level of hate.

A troubled youth is what he'd come to be.
 Violence, drugs and alcohol to deal with the pain.
When the truth came out it didn't set him free.
 Watching for Santa as his Mother was slain.

After years, Justice was served for his Mother's death.
 But her kids would have no justice at all.
They would never hold her again so they remained bereft.
 She'll never be there for them to hug, kiss or call.

She loved her kids, especially her eldest son.
 She was taken too soon by a drunk, selfish bully.
He didn't care who he hurt or what he did to anyone.
 Its not something her children could understand fully.

Her son now sits in his own personal Hell.
 Taken away from society to pay for his unrelated crimes.
So now he stays in that six by six prison cell.
 Hoping that he'll heal in a matter of time.

I'm here for him and I remain his friend.
 I wait for that shine to return to his now haunted eyes.
For that smile to brighten from his sad, dull grin.
 I'm someone who can love him and quiet his cries.


Details | Double Dactyl | |

In Abasement In A Basement

OH - nonny, NO - nonny
Nicholas Goalsworthy
Promised again to
Renounce alcohol.
Characteristically
Incomprehensible,
Muttering epithets,
Cursing the wall.


Details | Ballad | |

Little Black Horse

little black horse, I've seen you around
little black horse, destined to terrorize the town
little black horse, you've seemed to have caught a mare
little black horse, with your long shiny hair

little black horse, why drag that mare around
death so coupled to you that she's destined to drown
fate cruel to her, to make her love
her soul tarnished and beaten, no longer white, and as pure as a dove

little black horse, do you not care at all?
crest fallen and withering, she still heeds your call
little black horse, she will die at your hand
yet her presence to you, just a mere grain of sand 


Details | Epigram | |

Absence Makes the Heart ---

Your absence hurts me,
Like a persistent toothache
Or a pair of too-tight shoes.....
But, worse, your hard face,
When finally we meet,
Leaves me panicked, gasping --
A doomed and thrashing swimmer
Drowning in your indifference.


Details | Rhyme | |

Flood

Waters rise, engulf the land and other ruses
we devise to block their flow, to stem the tides.
Anxious, we are left to ride the waves
on fragile barques bereft of sails.
Such flimsy arks (mere barrel staves
and baling wire) float up the sides
of great sea-risers, like defiant snails
awash in slime. In time, seabrine looses
collective holds on congealed excuses
and in salt solution we dissolve.
To silver fishes we soon devolve
while worlds and stars, giants and dwarfs,
fade from mind like boats from wharfs.
And when to darker depths we dive,
will fishes miss us? Shall we survive
apart from sky, from air, from dry?
When at last we gasp and die
will crabs cavort? Can fishes cry?


Details | Ballad | |

Voice in the Night

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope
After the world turned dark

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Healing words
Made from
Angel heart

Oh, her chocolate whisper
Warm convincing breeze
Oh, her breathy laughter
In the shadow of my need 

Don’t you hear the voice?
Save  you from despair
Don’t you hear the voice?
Sent by ghosts who care

Don’t you hear the voice?
Rises like a prayer
Come to rescue you
From your earthly snare

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope 
Kissed my tears away

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Now I dance
To a magic serenade

Don’t you hear the voice?
Memories of home
Don’t you hear the voice?
Pretty as a poem

Don’t you hear the voice?
Vivifies your soul
Bathes you in a pool 
Love you’ve never known

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope
After the world turned dark

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head
Lady caller,
Take me, take me
To your bed

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head
Lady caller
Raise me, raise me
From the dead

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head


Details | Narrative | |

Tell Me Isn't So Bill Cosby

I have a very negative opinion
of most of the Hollywood crowd.
Many of them are rich snotty assholes,
clueless commie loving SOBs
who think they are international statesmen.
But I must admit I thought Bill Cosby
was a very decent human being.
WOW! Was I ever mistaken!
Tell me it isn’t so Bill Cosby!


Details | Terzanelle | |

our homeless plight

come, my child, let me hold you tight,
so I can keep you warm tonight.
I pray God ends our homeless plight.


Dr. Ram's triplet contest


Details | Lyric | |

Miles

I write
my late night revelations
paint an image so clear-
so precise-
as if fine-tuned with a microscope.
I see the truth.
I now realize that what I need-
I want-
is YOU.
I don't know how I am going to make you see,
make you feel...
I need to make you know.
A simple touch is all I need
to delve into your mind and infect you.
But how to reach you?
You are hidden far away
within your own mind,
in maze of your own design.
Between us locked doors and endless traps,
mountains,
valleys,
rivers, lakes, oceans,
miles and miles of 
impassible terrain that keeps me apart,
keeps me from you!
We are two universes set to collide-
not to be destroyed,
but merge into one.
Set to collide, but keep missing our mark.
This is unbeknownst to you.
I keep the secrets within me.
How much longer can I wait-
how much longer until my silence
consumes me?
Until you break me?
I am deserted, alone,
left in desolation.
You are the answer to the questions,
the key to my freedom.
But you cannot reach me.
And you do not know what you are.
How much longer til my time runs out?


Details | Free verse | |

The Empty Kleenex Box

I reach for another Kleenex.
The box sits empty on the shelf.
Have I really cried that many tears?
Has my life turned into a sad tale?
Have all the tissues floated down a river of lonely tears?

The time for crying has ended.
I will lift myself.
Poke out my head.
Had not the sun continued to shine in my absence?
My friends cried with me for a while.
A few of the tissues where crumpled in their hands.
Still I was not to be consoled.
What choice did they have but to leave?
In fact I was so sad I barely knew they were there.

So now I rise.
Lift my eyes to the sky.
Let a gentle breeze dry my face.
Smile with thanks for a new day.
For in the end
a river of tears and tissues is enough.

The Empty Kleenex box contest 
Sponsored by Craig Cornish

Still some entry spots left, join in the fun/sadness.



Details | Free verse | |

Unwanted One

One much given
to introspective self absorption,
little inclined to action,
I record this plaintive piece.....
The years go by and, though I age,
I am still the lone, unwanted one.
Early it was I learned
to embrace pain, or to avoid it.....
never to invite, through any expectation,
added disappointment.....
always penning solitary lines,
mere mental meanderings.....
My drab world,
all dry sand and clouded sun,
sparsely populated,
was a nearly vacant, arid desert.
All my laurels for achievements
I, and others, immediately devalued.
Nothing I did could
be worthy of a lauding.....
no good could come from
an unwanted one,
one outside the pale.....
not from such a joyless one.

The years go by, and still,
I am I.....
the lone, unwanted one.


Details | Free verse | |

The Devil Walks

The devil walks 
gets tired
and sits,
and while the devil sits
the devil picks up a tired fruit
rotting, and with jagged nails he peals
slowly, the tender fruit bruising
and he tastes it, smacking his dried lips
and the devil eats
decayed fruit and sour wine	                 nothing lush and sating
then the devil rests
and resumes his walk,
and later the devil sits again
rubs his feat
and goes to bed
and in the morning
he breaks his fast on curses and lies           nothing so filling as figs and nuts
and begin the devil’s walk again,

his walk
on the road our thoughts paved
where all that grows is bad and unwell
to the cross our words built
where flames dance and all is unwell
and he is condemned
upon christening
upon the hearing of his name
and the wobbling of his first steps
to walk a road less traveled,
to be the leader
of our very own crusade
armed with words
against himself
to see him burn,

our crusade of one
and many
on roads first paved upon his birth
to bring the devil down.

The devil walks
The devil eats
and pelted by our stones
He does but sleep
For what we sow
The devil reaps

and there is justice in punishment
there is reward in reckoning
there is bitterness in my mouth
as I say these words
and pity
              the devil
his due.


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?


Details | Free verse | |

Hidden Treasure

Hidden Treasure
Hidden, locked away
A last resort
A compromise
When your well has gone dry
You search endlessly for me
Certain that my presence 
Always awaits your lonely soul
Underneath your dreamscape 
Here I remain
Your reality
I will be your mirror
When delusions are before you
For you I bear this cross
Because my heart beats for you

Just a memory to you so often
Your buried treasure lies here
Waiting to be discovered


 

©  2008 Courtney Dyer


Details | Alliteration | |

Wasteland of Shame

Bound by blame, broken by blight,
Scarred by a stolen satire,
nuzzling necrophiliacs within the night.

Tangled in torment, tied untamed,
blemished by the blasphemy,
of never speaking your name.

Shackled in sin, shredded sovereignty,
dealing death’s doses,
murdering you and me.

Cuffed with candor, calling our crimes,
to an impetuous enslavement,
tortured through time.

Set me free, to flee this fool’s game,
where we're always left wandering,
in this wasteland of shame.


Details | I do not know? | |

Let's Get Lost

She was a 10 years old
When her life was sold
He hurt her in ways unimaginable
He may have not have been her father
But he was her brothers
He told the 10 year old to get in the bed
Or something would happen to her 1 month brother
The bed was cold
The springs were rusted
Her heart was always filled with love and care
But after that night
She wouldn't dare share
The 10 year old went to school the next day
Without anything to say
Her friends found out
And shunned her out
She told an      
The police were called
She was taken from her mother
Who at that time wouldn't believe her
She stayed at a family members house
A couple days went by
Then she was returned home
The bad guy was found
She still has nightmares to this day
And she has this to say:
"I'm sorry for doing what I knew was wrong
All I wanted was for my brother to be safe."


This is a true story, It's MY story. I hope that all you readers unerstand that I still blame 
myself for what happened that night. I DON'T want your sympathy, I just need friends who 
actually care. Thank You For Reading Let's Get Lost. . . . . .


Details | Haiku | |

What Does The Dope Say

What does the dope say?
“I use dope. I am a dope.
That’s why I’m homeless.”


Details | Free verse | |

Death of a Dream

Death of a Dream
      by Amy Swanson


Time
   existence
       goes by
          *long drawn out sigh*

gray transforming

overbearing
    the happy
         once joyful
            exuberant bright cheerful eclectic

becoming shadows
misty vapor
                  rising to the sky
                  fleeting...
                              gone.

Days gone by
     weeks
        and
          months
            and
               years

                          motions of life
                          crowd out
                          emotions of life  


                                         This unrecognized yet all too familiar place...

                                                    This is where dreams are born.
                                                    This is where dreams die.

Spark of light
    soft golden
struggles against 
    darkened mire

hope's ashes
      faith's grief
           love's despondence

Marigold hue
        charred
              sphere of night envelopes

Streaks and smudges
          of pride
              vanity
              selfishness
              cruelty
                      deface life's canvas
                         once glowing brilliant
                             -- now torn and tainted.


                                          This unrecognized yet all too familiar place...

                                                    This is where dreams are born.
                                                    This is where dreams die.
Silence...
    utter chaos...
         sheer madness
              consuming life -

they don't know.

They don't care.

They go about
     *busily*
          trading dreams
              spiritual riches
                for material fantasies
                     built with air.

Colorless
    consumes the bright

one small spark
        daring dream
              chasing burgeoning shadows

until exhausted
           extinguished...
                       no more.


                                            This unrecognized yet all too familiar place...

                                                    This is where dreams are born.
                                                    This is where dreams die.


Details | Ballade | |

Sad girl rising


Sad girl rising

Let me tell you about this girl I know
My cousin, this girl be
Her life has been so very sad
But how wonderful is she
She was a wild child, till she married
And had her first born child
When she found out that his brain was damaged
It really drove her wild.

She took the Doctor through the courts
Then fought for ten long years
To get the money she deserved
And she cried so many tears
She gained a million pound at last
To help her with the lad
And yet the damage it was done
And it really drove her mad.

Her and her hubby cared for he
And gave their lives to him
It was a twenty four, seven job
But at times it got real grim
She would do just anything
To make his life more sweet
But when she got that Parkinson’s
She was close on to defeat

But no, she struggled with the odds
And though it’s ten years on
Never does this girl give up
When all her hope seems gone
She smiles, and carries on with courage
Like I’ve never seen before
She’s something kind of wonderful
She’s a hero, that’s for sure.

30 July 2o13 @ 1043hrs.


Details | Lyric | |

Elysium Dream of Love

I close my weary eyes
Holding onto the hope
Of not having to cope
Not a mintue longer
Without you by my side
Not expierencing
The warm look in your eyes
The tingling rush of your finger tips
That would grip my hair tight
To stop you from slipping into the night
Biting  your bottom lip
As a pinch to yourself
To see if it was real
The dream of love we felt
And now that you are gone
I only wish to die
Your image fades from my mind
Sometimes I see it clear,
The sun is skillfully stroking it set in the sky
As my feet float down the road across the tuscan country side
I ever so gently sense the wildy grown wheat
Tickling these troubled lines engraved in the palm of my hand
I playfully pick one out of the land and pluck the grains
I look up and in the distance is where she waits
But there she remains peacefully strolling through the calming field
In a white cotton dress that tails off in the wind and
wearing a small confident smile that makes my yearning heart yield
Whispering in my ear that soon I will make it home
But my Life's journey must continue down this God paved road
I awake with the longing of her, But with so much to do
I need God's strength for one more day to get through


Details | Acrostic | |

Memories

Memories are all I have,
Intense and suffocating.
Churned out emotions needing salves
Healed, yet unrelenting

Abject surrender to your wiles
Embittered by time
Looming reminiscence of your smiles
Sealed in my mind

Anguishing on a future lost
Grieving over what once was, 
Agonizing at what it has cost
Remembering mem'ries of a distant past


Details | Triolet | |

Stab, Choke, Torture, Shoot to Kill

The rage that screams against the sky A battle ground of angry hate Death's anger looms; threat reaches high The rage that screams against the sky A voice it struggles to deny The venom 'fore it spews too late The rage that screams against the sky A battle ground of angry hate. What made bit** think she could deceive A fam'ly grown so sick of hurt I'm one she thought that would believe What made bit** think she could deceive? Fed up with lies, we're so naive Her many victims her desserts What made bit** think she could deceive A fam'ly grown so sick of hurt. I want to choke her scrawny neck And make cruel vengeance mine to give To make her bleed, knife's wounds inflict I want to choke her scrawny neck And twist until I'm held in check But not 'fore I know she'll ne'er live I want to choke her scrawny neck And make cruel vengeance mine to give. I lay my head on Satan's bed The price was worth my deadly fate She's cold and lives with devil's dead I lay my head on Satan's bed No tear I shed, no more to dread It's over now, there's no more wait I lay my head on Satan's bed The price was worth my deadly fate.
Destroyer ~ Poet’s contest Name any poem with a strong title" (your poem title has to catch my eye) your most favorite outstanding title...


Details | Light Poetry | |

Wine and Dine

Wining and dining,
Dancing and prancing
Hoping I'll score,
My money I'm chancing...

Desperate for love,
A body warm
All my sensualities
Begin to swarm

Peck on the cheek,
My $100 prize
I stood there still,
With glazed eyes

Inside she rushed,
With ne're a word,
I stood still on the stoop,
Like a highschool nerd

Was it my hair?
My breath?
My looks?
Does she see
My hands as hooks?

Home I went,
Head hung low,
Well, at least,
Now I know...

No vanity
Do I see...
Worthy of...
Overcoming me.


Details | Lyric | |

It's Not Over

Don’t say it’s all over (cause it’s not)
“Sorry” won’t cover it…so don’t go on your knees and pray for my forgiveness 
Oh baby…don’t listen to the commotion…I’m done taking cover (it’s all for naught)
I’m plummeting in slow motion…into the remorseful pit…I’m plummeting in my nightmare’s abyss

I want to carry you through the night… 
I’m swimming in the ocean of my tears… 
My sodden wings lost its ability of flight…
You've been swimming in your distress for years… 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

I want to remind you to fight the good fight…
My misery pools are brewing inside of my head…
I’m backing away from the light & exploring the night… 
You’re giving in to sleep and I’m wide awake on my bed 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

Please don’t tell me…oh, don’t tell me…darling!
You’re giving up today… (I beg you to stay, despite your inner pain) 
I’m scared I might erupt – it could be quite startling!
Someday, things will change for the better… (Don’t turn the wrong lane)
I’m waiting for that day to arrive – perhaps it will wash away our dismay…

I promise you a tranquil reality 
I want to stray with you tonight 
I still have hope that He’ll set us free
I was wondering if you could stay the night
Maybe the Lord could grant us 
Pure, incredible delight 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we've plunged into our own pit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to gather…


Details | Free verse | |

The Never Ending Battle

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

JS Lambert



Details | Acrostic | |

The Invisible Man

The end of us breaks open both old and new cracks in my heart.
How come I couldn't see where my blind love would lead us,
Ending it again, you have, before our love could fully grow.

In the many, many years since I first fell in love with you,
Never did I think we'd find our love and then lose it.
Vanishing appears the only option left to me now,
Incredible loneliness once again my friend.
Surely God didn't intend our splitting?
Inside my heart you are big as ever.
But, I am a silly old romantic,
Long ago laden with love,
Ever waiting only for you.

Madness to love you?
About to find out.
Now I fade away.

Invisible...

Am I,
Me.

Going
Off
Now,
End.

10/06/12

Gone: breathless, cold, deceased, dead, departed, done, fallen, lifeless, lost, obsolete, vanished.

Invisible: concealed, discreet, hidden, inconspicuous, unnoticeable, unseen.


Details | Free verse | |

Gene, Gene, the Singing Machine

(in memoriam, Eugene Lawler, d. January 29, 2012, aged 83 years)

--- Note:  "The singing machine" is a not so tongue-in-cheek reference to Gene and his penchant for singing whenever and wherever he wished, as well as to his karaoke
equipment and his nickname at bars that featured karaoke nights. ---


You fancied yourself a singer,
and indeed you were.
What songs we heard from you
you had made your own,
and you gave them freely
to all who would listen
(though we were just a few
who were, at times, inattentive.)
Time and remembrance may color
the images you left behind,
and the sentimental songs
you sang (and scribed on silver disks 
for us to hear when, and if, we will)
may prod us to recall
your willful, dour demeanor
which could bloom into benevolence
or darken further in stormy sneers
at tardiness, or at perceived
maltreatment of any sort.
You were your own arbiter of behavior
who kept before you expectations
of what was appropriate, for yourself
and for us, the others of your kind.
We were few (still fewer now),
who flocked together on occasion
to celebrate, in quiet fashion,
whatever anniversary we chose --
perhaps your passing date
will become another to be marked.
And your voice, reproduced mechanically,
amplified, may remind us of our loss,
and of yours.  


Details | Rhyme | |

A Senior's Day

Usually you're all alone
When there's ringing on your phone
An early call that makes you moan
Just wish it was a dial tone
You grab the phone
Press to your ear
Hello who's there?
You calm your fear
A neighbor's voice comes on the line
You know at once
Things are not fine
What will she say?
This voice today
What gives you dread?
Is someone sick?
Is someone dead?
The news you hear will make you sad
You know it will
It's always bad
And so you hear the tragic tale
Another friend
You start to pale
The call ends soon
Someone who once enjoyed her wealth
She seemed to have the best of health
One minute she was doing great
Then death became her sudden fate
No more to say
Another call
That changed your day
The phone's back now
Back on the wall
Who'll call next
Who's next to fall?


Details | Ballad | |

Zero

I was born pale and invisible
In a world
Sees everything 
Everything, everything….but me

Invisible to your touch
And doubt you’ll like me very much
Am I alive?
Was I ever me?

I’m a non-existent cipher
A pointless empty zero
Never added up to anything
A non-existent cipher
Pointless empty zero
Tell me….what does it all mean?

And now I think I want you
Ethereal body
Oblivious mask
And now I think I love you
Intelligent lips
Painted in black

But no need to look my way
Or give me the time of day

Can’t be with you 
In this world
Invisible man 
Never gets the girl

Oh, no...

I’ll find where you are
And watch from afar
You will be felt by me

I’ll find where you are
And watch from afar
You will be loved by me

Your 
Zero 
Tonight
Your 
Zero 
For life
Your zero
The day I die

Your zero….your zero

Zero


Details | Ballade | |

The stress thats in the air

The stress that’s in the air

I saw two people quarrelling
Two neighbours these two were
They were screaming, cursing, yelling
It did the whole street stir
Such anger I had never seen
Not ever in my life
Some people’s minds to me, it seems 
Are filled with so much strife.

I remember times when I was young
I lived in south east London
And where I was, was a real rough place
Where many came undone
But still the neighbours stuck together
And they’d treat each other right
But now it seems all trust has gone
And folk just want to fight.

It seems that everyone’s uptight
And no one seems to care
About those ones outside their lot
There’s distrust everywhere
But can they really help themselves?
The stress comes with the breeze
And floats around from soul to soul
As it robs the  each of ease.

10 September 2013 @ 1925hrs.


Details | Free verse | |

A Squirrels Tears

How do I describe such distress?
A squirrel sat on a lower limb,
His mother had chased him from the nest.
His heart was broken, in upheaval, a mess.
His home gone. His mother turning her back so new.
Oh what, oh what will he ever do?
Each breath he takes is a mighty gulp,
Then the sound so soulful with every shout.
Cries of pain were so deeply felt, 
That every bout rips my heart inside out.
It renders me tearful to hear the sounds flow…
The need to help him drives me so,
How could his mother yield such a blow?
But he is wild and won’t let me help his woe.
A human I’d hold so warm and tight.
I’d build a nest for him if it were right.
But I know he won’t accept my help, 
As he cries on and on in his plight.
For an hour he tore my heart to shreds…
Then finally a young squirrel came from another tree, instead.
Together they ran off fulfilling his needs…
His cries stopped. He’d found what he wanted with those pleas…
Now if mankind could only help those in need, with such simplicity.


Details | Rhyme | |

Oh, the Rain!

Caught the scent of the earth divine
The clouds are here, could sense the rain
Mind succumbs to the heart of love
Its time to rejoice, no matter how!

Listen to the trees smile and scream
The rustle of the leaves makes the surrounds gleam
The drops from the heaven make the earth come alive
The birds fly home, the kids jump and dive

The winds scare away the thundering clouds
The clouds run for cover, comes out the sun proud
The drops disappear as steam, makes the earth frown
The sky looks dry, the spirits go deep down


Details | Rhyme | |

Guilty

Like tires in mud,
Like a knife in my chest,
The visions haunt me,
Until I cannot rest.

I hear those voices,
Crowding in my mind,
Fretting over my words and acts,
Afraid of what they find.

Oh the voices do not rest,
Until they have torn me apart,
The visions, voices like knives,
Driven through my heart.

They are always with me,
Morning,  noon, and night,
They may never disappear, 
No matter how I fight.

To the voices I beg,
To please leave me be,
For the visions to stop,
To the voices I plea.

I beg to stop,
And as for mercy,
I am to confess,
That I, 
Am guilty.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Hole in the Universe

There’s a hole in the Universe
And I can see it from 
My 
Hearse

Driving to the graveyard 
For one final look

While the mourners 
Take photos
Filling an entire 
Facebook

There’s a hole in the Universe
And I can see it from
My 
Noose

Wrapped round my head
For one final jerk

Because I sent you 
Away
And it really
Hurts

But I won’t say a thing
Not a single peep
From a  man 
Made of stone
And the blood of a
Beast

Sing me one last melody
In that way you did
In a La La so sweet
La La La
La La La
My sweet

Sing me one last dirge
For the body 
You once held
In a La La so sweet
La La La
La La La
My sweet

You see

There’s a hole in the Universe
And I  can see it from
My
Place

Where the sky meets
The fire

Roasting hopes upon  
A pyre

And leaves me 

Wanting

One last
Touch

One last
Kiss 

One last
La La

So sweet

A taste of  perfect heaven

The complete Universe

I once found 

In

Your 

Baby Face.


Details | Rhyme | |

Unreality

Am I alive, or dreaming? Sometimes I just can’t tell. If I’m asleep pinch me quickly, and awake me form this hell. If I’m awake give me something to make my eye’s dreary - That I may rest peaceably while the storm rages on in its fury. Am I Alive or dreaming? How can one tell, When logic has lost meaning and reality as well? Or… When tragedy strikes near your tent - Family and friends mourn. A loved one has passed, And you’re the only one not torn. You’ve become nonchalant by default - Frozen in a subconscious state Only a numb soul remains once reality’s escaped! Am I alive, or dreaming? Or am I dreaming that I’m alive? For what it’s worth, can your answers reverse - This cycle of my demise?


Details | I do not know? | |

"The Princess"

So, I see a princess, all alone
Her beauty clear, her wisdom known
I ask her why she sits, on a floor of stone
Instead of on, an elaborate throne

She gives me a look, of utter confusion
Then asks me why, I live in this delusion
Must it be, that in her seclusion
She cannot be happy, why this conclusion?

I take a minute to wonder
And another to ponder
Why away from riches my mind will wander
And my heart grows fonder

I ask if I may sit with her, but she politely declines
I am startled at this, as my fascination subsides
She gives me a smile, and beautifully chimes
I am happy alone, listening to life’s little rhymes

Again I am struck to a daze
Amidst  confusion and haze
My eyes weaken and begin to glaze
I feel I have wasted many days

How can you be happy alone, I ask
To live life, without sharing your task
To sit here, no metaphorical mask
While right over there, in your birth you can bask

She gives me no answer, just one more riddle
Are you on top, or on the bottom, or stuck in the middle
To your neighbor do you mean much, or less than a little
Does a man play music, or is he a slave to the fiddle?

Though the answer is still haunting
I can hear it from a friends dull taunting
I have chased all that the rich were flaunting
And now I live a life that is lonely and daunting


Details | Free verse | |

Empty

And when I learned that you died
How can I describe
The empty
Empty
Empty

You were my boxer in the night
Sparred with you 
About every aspect of
Life

My secret tonic
Made everything
Feel alright
Got me through it all
All the frustrations
Disappointments of 
Life

And when I learned that you died
How can I describe
The empty
Empty
Empty

We called each other friend
Even when
Our bodies came together
That single
Lunatic
Moment

That single 
Lunatic
Time

And it felt so 
Full
You made me feel
Full
How can I describe 
The full
Full
Full

My life was full
When you laughed
It felt so full even
When you 
Cried

The times I was mean

And my body left
Your body
After 
That single
Lunatic 
Time

And so we pretended 
We were just
Friends
In the end
We pretended
Then

And now you’re 
Gone

And I can barely speak
Or write 
I can barely write
A 
Single
Meaningful
Poetic
Word

And there’s a quiet room
In my mind
Where your laughter
Once
Played
My innocent child
Woman
Gone 
Away

How can I describe
The Empty
Empty 
Empty

How can I describe
The empty
Empty
Empty

How can I describe
The
Way
I
Feel?


Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | Free verse | |

A Granddaughter's Pain

That horrible day she heard those words.
The cawing of those dreadful birds.
The pain in her chest found its way to her eyes.
Her breath came out in only short sighs.
Her sister there to hold her hand,
Trying to be strong for the both of them.
The day had come, they knew it would.
But faster than it probably should.
They made as much noise as they possibly could.
Anything to  keep away the silence of death,
And as the tears kept falling, 
they did their best,
To try and forget this disastrous mess.
But as hard as they denied it, 
they knew it was true.
He was gone from this world, 
wasn’t meant for it too.
The last words he spoke, 
were held to be true.
“ when all the feelings had been felt,
And all the tears shed.
Let the acceptance begin.”
They echoed again and again.


Details | Couplet | |

Indigenous I Am, from the Stolen Generations

This is a journey, a trip call it what you will It follows the footsteps of my ancestors, and allows my thoughts too spill Firstly let me take you back, to tell you so little of my past Indigenous I am, from the "Stolen Generations" I did not last This is why I must make this journey, to allow me to find the real me To retrace the few steps I made, to rediscover what my young eyes seen How ironic that the person I'll ride with, is the son of the then official Whose deliberation to round up us children, the scene, locale It's now the morn of our travel, where I look I find hard to see The peripheral of the distant horizon, is all that really captures me The town where I grew up so young, barely to the age of five Perth, now bustles like a termites nest, zig zagging in busily strive Into the bush we go, to a place where us youngsters so enjoyed Moore River Native Settlement, which soon became children void As I walk my arid lands, patterned in the heat of this day I recall with every step, where us Indigenous children played We could survive on the smallest of fruit, water we could easily find Even the son of the then official, said that we are a superior kind He marvelled when I spotted tracks, traces of where animals crossed Remembering back to when I was five years old, our lands always talked We opened up as we led our horses, introduced all those centuries ago They opened up my lands, rivers we walked, now the white man flows This is a journey I had to make, it's called, it's in my will No more "Stolen Generations" no more will my culture spill


Details | Rhyme | |

Living Without

I tried to write about love but I haven’t felt it. 
I tried to write about the sea but I’ve never seen it. 
Then I tried to write about the air, but I have never breathed it. 
I tried to write about magic but I never believed it.
I couldn’t write about god, all I have ever done is sinned.
And when I tried to write about life I found, 
I have never really lived.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

The Most Likely to Succeed

All the windows down.
Shades drawn.
Door locked.
Against the imitation mahogany, a little manila card:
"Check out time:  3 o'clock."

Click!
All dark now.
Hmmmmm.
The Wizard Deluxe 16" Oscillating Fan
makes a lot of noise.
Click.
It's too cool anyway.


Whew!  Those ugly flowers on the rug!
I can almost smell them.
And the bedsprings creak.

What am I doing here...
the Big Guy...
the Smart Alec with All the Ideas...
the Joe Who Was Going Places...
the Most Likely to Succeed...
Huh!  If they could only see me now.

Well, here goes nothing.
I guess I'd better, now...
if ever, now!


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Limerick | |

Front Page News

The plane went down.
All on board drowned.
Their relatives grieve.
They are really quite peeved;
Because the airline officials are clowns.


Details | Rhyme | |

Death by Beauty

A smile moves across her lips
She gazes at her crime
A scar across her flesh and soul
To haunt her for all time
She’ll waste away for all she cares
Never stops to use her brain
Doesn’t care about the ones who are close
All she cares about is pain

She wants to be what the others expect of her
Doesn’t care about the self-respect for her
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Can’t she see what all she has got
Already?

Never to go back again
She feels the world is at an end
She will never show her grief
Although she’ll cry in empty streetS

She’d sooner live like a desolate mole
Living in fear in an empty hole
Screaming silent wails alone
Content to live in her mental home

A final tear falls from her eye
It hits the ground, it’s followed by
A beautiful body, mutated by hate
A kind word could have stopped it, but it is too late
One two many bricks in the wall in her mind
Molding her demise because her heart was blind
This self conscious being could never have won
For she was destroyed by the beautiful ones

She wouldn’t fight back, wouldn’t respect herself
In the end, she managed only to wreck herself
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Little did she know, she had all she had sought
Already


Details | Lyric | |

Save Me

Save Me
By: IzaDonna

Look in the mirror
Do you recognize her
Do you see the coldness in her eyes
Do you see where the darkness lies
Hidden secrets of the past
To late, the spells been cast
And as the stars arise
My own self will be my demise

Chorus:
So you think you can save me
Finally set my retched soul free
Be my ultimate savior
You thinking ur doing me a favor
But just let me alone
My fate is only my own

I get u try and u care
But thru it all u weren't there
I cant move on from my past
The agony I feel will always last
The knife is in way to deep
So let me shut my eyes and sleep
Cause u can't fix whats already broken
The pain I feel is better left unspoken

Chorus

So as the darkness creeps in
I feel I'm paying for my sins
No way to escape
My soul is yours to take
Just let me bleed these tears
Just let me lay here
Looking up at the sky
I ask God why

Chorus

Cause you can't fix what isn't broken
The pain is better left unspoken


Details | Acrostic | |

OIL SPILL

O ut of control
I t shouldn't have happened
L ots of destruction

S hame on BP
P lease stop this disaster
I irrate and upset
L ots is at stake
L oss of God's creations


Details | Ballad | |

the poverty blues song

I've got damp on my walls and cobwebs in the hall
got a rat in the kitchen
where the cockroach crawl.
I got holes in my shoes
where my toes peep through
I got a bad case of the poverty blues.

I got a crack in my bathtub and bed bugs in my bed
I got things crawlin through my hair
that make me scratch my head

Got piles of bills collected by my door
the one's I should have paid a year or two or more.
I try to get myself sorted
but always seem to lose
I got a bad case of the poverty blues.

Guitar.

I got trouble in my hovel
and the place could do with a good clean
I may not be superman
but  I try the best I can
I just find things so hard to do
Guess I got a bad case of the poverty blues.

Some people call me lazy
but I sure ain't crazy
I;m a man alone in the world what can I do
I got a bad case of the poetry blues.

I'd love to meet a girly
who could cook and clean
with lots of money
so I could live my dreams
one thet would say I do
so I no longer got to sing the poverty blues
say I no longer got to sing the poverty  blues uesssssssssssssss.

Peter Dome copyright. 2012.


Details | Acrostic | |

Ghosts

Grate them like cheese, these
Hushed memories, so I no longer
Obsess, on my perforated chest,
Scrape them off of my plate, no    
Time to waste, Sorrow
Salivates
 


Details | Free verse | |

Healing Begins

I find myself sprawled on the floor
Frantically trying to gather the pieces
My heart has been shattered
Jagged, sharp, crimson colored shards
I lay wounded, unaware of my surrounding
The surface is hard and cold, a slab of granite
A crowd of onlookers, strangers stop to stare
They gasp in disbelief at the spectacle
I have a front row seat, standing room only
The sunlight has pierced my soul, I lay exposed
Heartbroken, abandoned, dignity is out the window
I'm holding a bloody big chunk of my heart
I tell myself, breathe in, breath out
I close my eyes, so that I may see with clarity
With eyes closed, the view is breathtaking
Healed, healthy, vibrant and alive
Still with my eyes closed, wide open,  I see the crowd
They begin to applaud, then quickly disperse
I become the lone witness as my heart heals itself
As the darkness explodes into sunlight, triumph
Delete sadness. Insert hope. 
I hear someone in the crowd singing my song

~Rick Berry


Details | Rhyme | |

Shield Me

Shield me from this stain I bear,
remove this filth and smut I wear.
Cover my eyes from the evil truth,
discard these lies and hide the proof.

Guard my heart, these beats of pain,
from this spattered torn, loveless stain.
Protect this tired, worn out soul,
the one who beats out of control.

Defend my honor, grace and trust,
uncoil these spoils, away we must.
Preserve the mutiny, oust the pure,
coral the innocent with your evil lure.

Safeguard the takers, fakers and rest,
loosen the chains around this chest.
Release my dignity, vanity and control,
please shield my heart and cover me whole.


Details | Ballad | |

Capricorn, the mountain climber

Capricorn the mountain climber

The goat he is relentless
He'll cimb the higest hill
Just a wee bit at a time
With his gigantic will
He tends to take life seriously
But he can laugh at his own self
This man will try to seek his fortune
And accumulate some wealth.

He be the father of this Earth
He likes to take control
And sometimes he will be considered
As drab, and often dull
He's reliable, you can count on him
When you need to get things done
He'll often work so very hard
He'll forget to have some fun.

He has a lot of patience
And he can put his mind
A hundred percent on anything
And him you'll often find
Working out some problem
Until he gets it right
And for the people in his life
He'll put up quite a fight.

23 September 2013 @ 1422hrs.


Details | Ballad | |

A Better Life...

A Better Life

I don't know why she hides,
I don't know why she shivers,
I don't know why she cries,
I don't know why she quivers,

Daddy's girl is all alone,
And I don't know how to help her,
Daddy's world is all but blown,
And I don't know what to tell her,

What happened to her confidence,
And her self assured way,
Which used to be so prominent,
In all she did or would say,

Who stole my little girl’s heart,
And drove her to such confusion,
She now slowly does her part,
As if all she has is illusion,

She knows I would kill any other man,
For doing such harm to my little girl,
But this is much more than I can stand,
As it has forever blown apart my world,

They took ‘steps’ to the next level,
And now they each look to me in despair,
I warned them each to be careful,
But the forbidden fruit they shared,

Now I look at one without trust,
Yet I still love my son so very much,
I still hold her distant as I must,
But she needs Daddy’s healing touch,

Why do I have to be the bad guy,
When my children need my help,
I pushed one out and I still cry,
While I can't help her help herself,

There is no way to win here,
And my tears won't stop falling,
I have lost them both I fear,
And my fears won't stop calling,

I don’t know what to do anymore,
Or how I can help either of them,
Both children my heart cries out for,
But the truth is neither can win, 

And for this my darling kids,
I am so sorry I can’t decide,
Which to disown or which to kiss,
When I am actually on both your sides,

So I pray that both her and him,
Of whom I am so very proud,
Do not give up and become victims,
Who wear this pain like a shroud,

I pray both of you hear my advice,
Get over this hardship and understand,
This lesson with its terrible price,
Is one where you do as best you can,

To forgive and move on from here,
Without Dad having to choose a side,
And to let go of all that you fear,
If you want to grow to have a better life.


Details | Free verse | |

Hope Washed Away

Drenching cold in every fiber
Washing away the little girl 
Who once believed she could fix anything 
With hope...
Clinging to spiky reality
Like a tuft of white fur to a filthy branch
So painfully determined,
Yet unrelenting rain;
Torrents of raw emotions 
And mudslides of despair
Saturate and smear her fragile innocence
Her hope will dwindle, 
Slowly drowned
Until nothing more
Remains
Of that child
In the rain


Details | Narrative | |

A missive from the damned to whoever have a little time to spend with this nonsense - Page 1

And so, I have made up my mind, once more.
I have decided to depart, to bid this husk farewell.
In order to do that, I must save coins if I desire to save myself.
For with it, I will be able to buy my ticket out here to a more blessed realm or the eternal void. Either way, I will be winning.
I mustn't, any longer, feel the starvation of affection and no more I shall be fed by the crumbs of fleeting joy they toss at me.

Thoughts of finishing are always in my mind, flooding it, making hard to go day by day, making hard to sleep, to have hope.
I fail to see where the hope is, I like to think that it can be find inside of one's heart.
But even so, I think I am mistaken, and when I glance at myself in the mirror, I quickly lose any spark of what could-be hope.

With the aid of the metallic sling, I shall leave this husf behind, heavy with its sins and sorrows, to no more nourish hatred.
For it does only to hinder my advance towards elevation.
With my metallic sling, I shall pierce, first, my heart, where lies the sorrow, then, my mind, where resides the sins.
Whilst the life in me start to wane, regrets I will not have, when my consciousness fade, my spirit will be no longer be trapped inside this imperfect cage of flesh.
Being free, my spirit shall roam far and beyond to, before, unseen places by men, to  untouched places by men.

Another day,someone inquired me "Are you happy now?" and for that I just said "Yes". How else could I have responded if not with a lie?
How could I tell them that I yearn for a premature closure in order to stop thinking and feeling but I also yearn for love.
"I am not absolutely happy, as per say, but I do suffer less when I am asleep" I could never say that to anyone...


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Grandad's Missing

There's a void, now
Where once a steadfast heart beat time
The soul in perfect harmony with life's uncertain pulse
With those who clambered eagerly in solace or in joy
To scale that mighty pinnacle
The Rock, within the bosom of the family

There's a void, now
But marvel at the structure, the firmness of the ground beneath
The strata richly layered with wisdom of generations past
A fault free seam constructing firm foundations
Binding those within the bosom of the family

There's a void, now
A hollow cavern 
echoing the anger and the pain
Trust time; it has no fear of finite elements
The source of unremitting pain
Within the bosom of the family

There's a void, now
So fill the emptiness and catalogue the memories
Harvesting the richness of their meaning
The fullness of the seed sown long ago
To bloom forever within the bosom of the family


Details | Sonnet | |

River Deep, Mountain High

How do we ever know whom we've come to know
All we see is their periphery, externally on show
But what resides from within, can be River Deep, Mountain High
With levels we can't seem to count, internally they cry

Internally they cry, into a world we can't comprehend
It's no wonder they appear like this, if me, I'd be round the bend
One minute their world seems so right, suddenly a darkness descends
All it took was explainable, but a different signal they send

A different signal they send, yet it's receiver appears to know
What was there originally no longer appears to show
Just like a pendulum swinging, to the left and to the right
No middle happy medium, for when it stops out goes their light

When it stops out goes their light, and a darkness descends
Maybe it's what they had become, driven round the bend







http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/life-16.php


Details | Free verse | |

How Far Will You Fly

How far will you fly?
Cross continent? Moonward?
Across the room?
When will you depart?
Through which gate?
Let me fly with you.
You won't even notice me,
On the wing,
Clinging for life (and love).
Why do you flee me,
choosing a destination
from which it will be
impossible
to book a return?


Details | I do not know? | |

Anger Pain and Dramatic Stress

Anger, pain and dramatic stress 
The 3 things that I possess
Me, Reggie is okay at times
I sometimes choose to confide in my rhymes
I express my feelings through a pen
Just like some women get satisfaction through men.
This isn’t a poem because this is a thought
I have thoughts moving so fast, just too fast to be caught.
I hate being stressed
Just like I hate being possessed
I don’t mean to sound evil and mean
But I am different from the other people you have seen.
This is not a poem…this is a thought
I have thoughts moving so fast that they can’t be caught.
I have it good to some…others have it good to me
Some don’t realize how hard it is to be
A poet…it’s hard writin’ poetry with a lot of feeling
You feel forced to write something appealing
You break down cause cus’ you feel an obligation
To write good poetry that there breaks your concentration
I found a solution that my mind’s fighting
Maybe I should stop all the poetry and all the writing
These are fast ideas too fast to be caught
This isn’t a poem this is just a thought


Details | Free verse | |

Like A Broken Teacup

Sitting on the shelf like a broken teacup
I go on despite these difficult moments
I run into myself with Irish green eyes and permanent tear stained cheeks
I've endured the immensity of agony
I’ve turned down all those so-called hot lovers sulking in this harsh yellow land
I wrestle with the ongoing struggles of this evil world 

No…nobody can go backwards
You see, you and I were never meant to be
So...don't tell me your hurt is my fault
I’ve assessed these holes in my life-have you assessed yours?

It was a lifetime ago…forever gone in all that I was 
In a curious way I’ve known the debris of myself ...
I’m more damaged than I care to admit

Here I am…pathetically sitting in the rubble of where my heart lives
A thin-skinned loner- a re-cycled me of who I used to be 
I can't waver yet again, to take another chance at love
I've known too much time away from it all
So evident in the moment of my blinding conscience
Pondering the un-gentleness of things
That should have been beautiful...but were not

And so, I pick up the pieces of my broken soul
From a broken love that was never meant to be
I'm in for a new change of lifestyle - a new change of heart 
A release of all those emotions that were tearing me down 
The old life I knew, I threw away with the teacup 
I got a new life, a new cup, and I'm forgetting you and the past





            

   

                  


Details | Rhyme | |

Get out of my Heart

I lay, dripping, soaked within a dark sweat,
seeing and hearing your soft voice abet.
I want to run, to leave this merciless realm,
but you pull me closer, without a choice at helm.
Get out of my dreams.

I miss you, but I hate you, every last memory.
You taunt my every being, you’re all that I see.
I see you in the crowds, or when I’m all alone.
You’re here and there, on your heartless throne.
Why couldn’t you stay?
Get out of my life.

I hear your laughter and see your beautiful smile.
Once so beautiful, now helping others with guile.
You’re now decayed, withering into shallow dust.
I loved you so much, and never again will I trust.
Get out of my head.

Tears I weep, when others aren’t around to see –
I remember the days, the months and years I bleed.
I try to forget, and to hate you and your choices.
But all I can hear are these damn forgiving voices.
Maybe I am what you proclaim me to be.
Was I really that monster, that demon you see?
I hate what I love and love what I hate.
I try to erase our past, and to claim it our fate.
But I can’t let go, you’re all that I hear and see.
I wished you could have loved, that loathsome “me”.
Get out of my heart.


Details | Quatrain | |

DEMON CALLED GOD

The same deadly story unfolds
Mumbai, Pune, Varanasi
Bombs rip apart our souls
When will stop this atrocity

They come in the form of Demons
Kill in the name of God
Nature created species and humans
Why Humans created God?

Bloated egos fill some minds
Hatred makes the world go blind
We are all born to die
This is not the way, we cry

Swear in the name of dead
To slay in the name of God
Dangerous game triggered by man
The same God will destroy man


Details | Free verse | |

Sister: A Lament

For Maxine


Sister, was there forgiveness for she who bore you?
For us, your siblings and sometime charges?
For all who would not help, but hastened your demise?
The marble coldness of your corpse,
to my touch, is like an electric shock.
The limbs, the torso, with sudden strangeness,
now bear you slight resemblance.
You feared all pain, but died without complaint.
Who can fathom what you felt?
Was there a last, sharp stab?
A welcome to oblivion?
Or even an awareness of your loss?
Or was death no more spectacular
than a tire deflating, slowly,
quietly, unrecognized?
And was that the shame of it?
That your life ended, so early,
so silently, and death
was no extravaganza?


Details | I do not know? | |

Clouds

Clouds, the clouds diffuse a sad and somewhat somber hue;
Rain, the rain descends aslant from angry ashen skies;
Winds, the winds bemoan their loss of reins and calm control;

Shades, the shades appear suffused, alone in lurid haze;
Trees, the trees enshroud the eyes of misty brooding woods;
Leaves, the leaves desert their branches, falling one by one;

Birds, the birds intone a tune, a mourning monody;
Grass, the grass surrenders blades, impaled in truant winds;
Fields, the fields imbibe and quaff to quench an arid thirst;

Stones, the stones repulse the pearls, exploding tears of gloom;
Streams, the streams meander, hushed, to distant vapid shores;
Clouds, the clouds diffuse a sad and somewhat somber hue


Details | Free verse | |

We Were Drunk Once

Movies played but seldom watched
As we entangled on the couch
Intoxicated by each other, we drank wine to clear our heads
Things were simple in those times

You were red-eyed and freshly mangled
I wanted so badly to make you smile and forget her
For a time I think I succeeded 
We were blissful in our distraction
Playing grown up as we discovered each other

Long nights where sleeping was forsaken
We preferred to lie intertwined 
Talking 
Smiling
Laughing
The sun would rise and you would leave, reveling in how the hours had escaped us
Smiling at the pink tinged sky
Only to repeat the process nightly

Then we traded places
I am the red-eyed one, and another tries to help me forget you
Sometimes he succeeds
Perspective feels like a cruel joke
Could have
Would have
Should have

Someday he will have red eyes too
A cycle perpetuated


Details | Haiku | |

Natural Hair Color

cold cold breeze
leaves partially cover her
chopped off braid


Details | I do not know? | |

Crying Tree

Crying tree, stand tall and still
limbs reach in consoling embrace 
silver stars of glistening tears
smooth cobalt face above to wander.

Crying tree, hear my thoughts
listen with stoic indifference
feel my soul-enveloping sadness
and depth of acute loneliness.

Crying tree, hold me close
My love is lost to me
souls no longer bound 
moon once given, returned

Crying tree, oh voiceless one
lead me to the path of right
I rest my weary head on thee
feel warmth in tears I shed.

Crying tree, my only friend
feeling solace in your arms 
fleeting breeze begets rustling leaves
swaying forms gentle caress.

Crying tree, take my gratitude
warm hand upon my shoulder rests
brush away streams of tears 
my love to me returns.

Crying tree, everlasting friend
we will share time again
stand before me in witness
this tree to whom I cry. 


Details | Free verse | |

Lucinda

Her name is Lucinda, a mere child, just turned fourteen
This hapless woman child, born of the blood of many lands
Conceived of youthful passion, in a moment of youthful lust  
She arrived unplanned, unwanted and unloved, as no child ever should
Like you and I she has her hopes, her dreams, her needs and her plans
Here before us stands, this lovely child on the cusp of a blossoming womanhood
Abandoned by those who should care but who are oblivious to
Her wants, her needs, her dreams
Cast to the hands of fate to drift alone upon these savage streets, alone to face the night
You know they found her early Sunday morning, at early morning light
Lying silently in the crimson blood, the blood that once had held her precious life
Her name was Lucinda, a mere child, a lovely child, just turned fourteen
Cry a tear for her, SCREAM.


Details | I do not know? | |

CHALLENGE

Day and night,
I think about the truth,
Behind those hidden curtains,
Trying hard to understand,
How He thinks and do things,
Why is that that our mind so small,
Its hard for us to think beyond? 
Why did He made everything complicated for us?

I sat down my dad called,
To make me face the reality,
My heart started beating fast,
And tears run down my cheeks,
As if there was hail,
I didn't know what to say,
He told me he might not last long,
How am I going to see him?
He is on the other-side of the world?
I am worried about him,
I wish I could die with the people who I love,
I am scared to loose them
And the hard part is I dont know my dad,
I miss him!

I feel like time is close by,
And I didn't live my life as if I wish to,
I can't because things are not the same,
When I see an apple on the tree,
It feels like blood dropping beside my eyes,
I feel strange in this world,
I don't think or see the things I used to,
I stand amongst people who are changed,
In a bad way and yet the worst hasn't begun!

I can't even write my poems the same,
I can't make it rhyme anymore,
I feel like I am all alone in this,
I feel like this is a big challenge,
And I am lost in middle of no where,
I feel like nobody understands,
When the words come out my mouth,
All they hear is bluh! bluh! bluh!
I am disparate to find someone who I can talk to,
Yet I am scared to trust anybody,
I been hurt so many times,

I dont even know how to end this poem if you called it,
I have so much anger that is in me,
That no matter what I say there is still more,
That will never end,
One thing I know is I hate to be here,
And live in a place full of strangers, selfish liars, and untrusted people!


Details | I do not know? | |

I am...

I am a poet writing of my pain
I am a person living a life of shame
I am your daughter, hiding my depression
I am your sister, striving to make a great impression
I am your friend acting like I'm fine
I am a dreamer, wishing this life, wasn't mine
I am a girl who struggles with suicide
I am a teenager, pushing her tears aside







Side note: (Writing for other ladies out there, not so much myself, so don't worry about me)


Details | Free verse | |

Masquerade

You saunter through the double doors
Head held high
Chest puffed out
Putting on airs
You think you’re so clever, so deceiving
Showing up baring the most ornate mask
But I see right through
The mask that you wear tonight
You think it will conceal
You think just tonight
In this hour
You can be somebody else
But you’re dancing with the Belle of the Ball
This is MY Masquerade
And this is the 147th event
You just don’t recognize me
Because I wear a different mask each time
Your mask is cheap material
Sequins missing, feathers askew 
Such feeble attempts
I smell your bravado
Putrid and reeking, stinking up the air
But I see right through
I’ve donned masks my whole life
That’s why I am the bearer of this sash
That you see around my neck 
“Strongest Person I Know”
But I allow no one to gaze under the mask
Sure I play the Belle oh so well
But if you all saw beneath
Saw WHY I’ve had to wear masks
You’d strip me of my title
You’d rip off my sash
Break the pearls from my neck
You’d run for the door tonight
Quicker than Cinderella at the stroke of midnight
That’s the beauty of a Masquerade
You can pretend to be something you’re not
When one guise becomes worn
When it loses its sparkle
It’s glamour and charm
That first catches your eye
Well it’s quite alright 
Because I have a treasure trove 
BURSTING with masks
Grab another and keep dancing
Twirling the night away
Never skipping a beat
But when the music finally comes to an end
When the door closes and the final guest departs
Empty wine glasses are seen scattered all around
The only sound is the echo of my heels
When the confetti lies lifeless on the floor
That’s when I remove my mask
Exhausted, worn and weary
When I gladly, almost desperately 
Take off my tattered sash 
And throw it beneath my feet
Because I’m not resilient and strong now
I feel weak, frail and reclusive in my realm
That’s when the tears start to brim
That’s when I wish someone else held the title
So stripped and naked
Alone to clean up the mess
Everyone else has left behind
But there’s no one to there to pick up the sash
Just me and the sound of my tears
Echoing as they hit the floor
Almost fearfully I pick up the sash
Dust off the confetti
Smooth out the wrinkles
Before placing it back around my neck
As I throw my shoulders back
Standing taller than ever
Wiping away tears that no one saw
I walk back to my trunk
My trunk of the most decorative
Ornate, obscuring masks
Finding another to wear
As I prepare for the next façade
The next Masquerade 


Details | Ballad | |

It's Time To Let Go

I'm ready to grieve now... so let there be tears
It’s time to move on to face all my fears
It’s time to let go now... so let there be pain
It’s time to start crying when I hear your name
My days have been frozen since you have been gone
My nights I just live in the words of our song
I cling to the past and all that we knew
Too scared to let go, the memory of you
I know now that time will never erase
Our memories, a love I can never replace
I know to move on doesn’t mean you forget
I know to let go doesn’t mean you regret
I must close the door now and find a new way
To reach for tomorrow and not yesterday
It’s time to remember and smile when I do
All the fun, the laughter and love shared with you
It’s time for goodbye, to let the tears flow 
It’s time to move now...it’s time to let go..


Raina Hutchins


Details | Rhyme | |

That would be a nice place for a picnic

I can't have a picnic today.
The food, I can't afford to pay.
The price of gas and everything.
Even my heart can't afford to sing.

The blues are sung by yellow wrens.
And the camara's cover is still on the lens.
The joy in life is slowly fading.
As picnic ants are hungryly waiting.

I know this is not what you want to hear.
But empty bellies are living near.
The price for pleasure and blissfulness.
Is much too high for all the rest.



Details | Free verse | |

Vanishing Animals

(African human populations are being killed off by war,
famine, disease, and neglect...much like many rare
other species...when will we pay attention and try to
help them?)

Time,
stretching out, encompasses curtains,
on distant savannas, of shimmering heat.
And animals vanish:
ibex and antelope;
elephant; grouse.
Here once, now going or gone.
And time vanishes now.
Animals gone, one has no focus.
Moldering greenery, mute,
moves mainly in wind --
pliant life, submitting to breezes,
passive in sun. Rooted in spots
not chosen or won.
Plants do not vanish.
They prosper.
We do not prosper.
We vanish, as animal,
and go hardly noticed.
A dirge, as animals vanish.
We vanish unnoticed.


Details | I do not know? | |

You Let Me Down

I waited every day

Hoping to see your face,

But I never saw it again.



You were supposed to

Be there for me, you were

Supposed to love me.



Momma, what did I

Do wrong? Why didn't

You love me anymore?



You left me with strangers,

Walked away from me

When I needed you to stay.



You let me down

In the worst possible way,

It hurt so much.



Even now my beating heart

Still breaks when I think

Back on those days.



Those days when I waited

To see your face just one

More time but never did.



Those days when I wished

You were her, hugging me,

Telling me she loved me.



But it's over now and I'm

Doing okay, I swear that

I will never be just like you.



You who chose her drugs

And alcohol over the one

Thing you should've chosen.



But it's too late for regrets,

And it's funny, after all this

Time, I can't seem to hate you...


Details | Light Poetry | |

An Uncaring World

We Live in  world that lacks genuine love and affection towards
their fellowman.
Why are so many uncaring towards one another.
People today don't care what they do or say and who they say it 
to, understandably the world has and is still undergoing changes
there is a whole lot more pressure on people these days
especially the younger generation which causes anger,
depression and frustration.

Then there is now the extra worries of the global ressession
which causes misery and grief but where is the 
sense of relief people are in much despair over 
the financial state as they fear their jobs
are at stake.

The world seems to be in a real angry state, due to
all the atrocities and anomisty there is 
which makes people uncaring and  can cause others to
feel intimidated to even walk the streets and not
looking at people that they meet as there is no
trust anymore in the world.

How did we get to this where nothing seems right,
where angry people argue and fight,
only evil is in sight.
Happiness is just a dream, not a reality or so it may
seem.

What went wrong in the world that caused so much
grief and anguish when did it begin, it started in
1914 when the world saw the first world war,
the reason for the troubles since then was the
devil Satan was thrown out of heaven  to the
earth and  soon he is to be destroyed so while he
has the time left he is causing so much upheaval
as he is full of anger knowing he will soon be gone, as
God Jehovah will rid the earth of Satan and his demons
and he will restore the earth to A Paradise in
peace and security instead of all the unrest and
anomosity.  People will be happy for all 
eternity.



Details | I do not know? | |

The Broken Puzzle Piece

Your strength was my weakness

Your heart was like my home

Your love was mine to keep

But now I'm so alone

I thought this was for the best

Atleast that's what you said

My heart just seems so broken

Its almost like I'm dead

I've gotten so lost and confused

I feel kind of twisted and abused

It's like my feelings are a letter left unread

You would'nt take the time

You said you didn't care

But throughout it all I was still there

I guess it's time to let go

I guess it's something we will never know

The words left unsaid will be kept with us until we're dead

Heres my last goodbye

I cannot stick around while you watch my heart die.


Details | Cowboy | |

Chew

I'll cut you into little pieces, 
push you down underground. 
I'll let maggots feast on you, 
just to see broken flesh. 

I'm glad you understand my twisted self, 
and you take part of my daily bread. 
I'm going to hang you from 
the highest star in the heavens, 
burning your laughter from your lungs.

I'd be joyful, emotionless, 
wreckage not even God Himself can undo. 
Underground the maggots chew and chew, 
hey girl there I see you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Control

Anger and racism running through your soul,
will do nothing but make you lose control.


Details | Free verse | |

Immobilized

I wiped away the tears of a crying 
Child
Yesterday

And felt as though I were wiping
My own

But couldn’t dry them

Couldn’t dry
Them

As hard as 

I tried

A neighbor knocked on my
Door
Today

Asked me if  I would move 

My car

And felt as though I were spinning
My wheels

Because I couldn’t drive it

Couldn’t 
Drive

As hard as

I tried

Please
Let me step 
Forward

But know I can’t go 
Any farther

Please
Let me step 
Backward

But know I might trip
Fall over

Please
Let me step 
Sideways

But know  I 
Hurt 

With 
Every
Inch

Please

Let me step

Let me step

Any way

I can













Details | Rhyme | |

No-one Ever Stays For Long

Fragile joy suddenly smashed,
Shock predictable attack,
Little fragments raining down,
Cutting at me deeper now,
All of you are just the same,
How much more can one heart take?
Straining underneath the lies,
One more way to make me cry,
Disappointment yet again,
Just give up and let you play,
Let me down and tear me up,
Use me 'til you've had enough,
Pass me round, then forget me,
Just the same. You'll regret me.

No-one ever stays for long.
No-one ever stays for long.


Details | Blank verse | |

When I look in the Mirror

I don’t know what it’s called
But there is a little flap of skin behind my two front teeth
My two front teeth
My two front teeth
And sometimes it aches
And itches
And hurts
And the only way to make it feel better
Is by scratching it with something sharp
And I make it bleed and it runs red
But it fixes the itching and the ache
There’s some acne on my back
And when I scratch my back I can feel them
But they aren’t whiteheads
So I can’t take care of them
I’m not very skinny
I’m not super big
But when I eat I can be
Sort of a pig
I have scars on my hands
And I wonder if he notices them when he holds them
The giant scar on my knee that
Aches when it’s going to rain
It acts like a giant goose bump
It hardness when it’s cold
And gets soft when it’s warm
And since there is nerve damage  
I can’t scratch it
So when it itches
I have to hit it
I don’t have a gap between my thighs
I have scars between my boobs
One of my nipples is bigger than the other
I have too much hair “Down There”
My toenails are chipped
My fingernails bit
My hair is a bright fake red
My eyes are bright green
When they want to be
Otherwise they change to brown
I have scarring on my face
The line on my back doesn’t 
Go all the way to my butt
My eyebrows have grown in
But I can’t see within
Because whose soul shows from the outside
When I look in the mirror
This is what I see
So I understand why no one
Could fall in love with me…


Details | Free verse | |

The Nobodies

We are the nobodies
Unloved, un-hated, un-phased
Outcasts of the world of popularity.
Banished to the fringes of existence.
Finding joy- is a rarity- no solidarity
Always seen at a distance-
because we are the resistance

Nameless faceless and speechless-
When we speak the response is an echo
Bouncing around in a black hole
We can't hide from it so lets go
Into the darkness of our abandoned soul

Alone, lost, and shrouded by darkness
left to face the shadows of heaven
Lost in life- Our suffering is endless!
To each other we are brethren. 

We are numbed by pain
And blinded by shame
we are social life's bane
playing popularity's game

We are the nobodies...


Details | Rhyme | |

Jesus My Life Is One HUGE Embarrassment


For many years... My life has been an embarrassment! Filled with hopelessness and discouragement! Many things I thought I had enjoyed... Have left in me... A large and empty void! Many nights, I would cry myself to sleep. Knowing the hole my life was in, was very, very deep. Then one day, I called out to God! I wasn’t sure if he’d listen! My family, my old church, I was now missin'. My family prayed for me for so many years. I often brought them embarrassment and tears. God... I tried everything else... I want to come back to you! I need you now Jesus! I really do! Please come into my heart, and cleanse me within! Set me free from all addictions and sin! I know that you will never let go of my hand. My whole life, on your word, I shall now stand. Only you can satisfy the emptiness in my soul! I am now complete, satisfied, and made whole! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Black Jungle Cat

Several women were in the breezeway
Going from the sanctuary to the Fellowship Hall.
On either side of the French doors,
They gazed out the large windows in fear.
As I walked up to them, one of them asked
In hopeless desperation, "Who will go outside
And get the supplies for us."  They looked at each other.
She said this because the enemy was on our shores,
Patrolling every city, great and small.  I saw the armies.
People were afraid to venture outside their houses.
There were no soldiers in the street at this time.
It was a clear day.  I said to them, "I will go."
I opened and closed one French door and felt it...
FEAR was thick.  It crouched like a black jungle cat,
Panther or jaquar, lurking in the brush for prey.
My eyes were wide open as I walked the distance
Of the Staff's parking area.  There was a chamber 
Underground set aside for certain supplies.  
The enemy's presence was strong as I looked around.
I think I had to unlock its door before I opened it.
I took what was needed and walked through Fear.
I never saw him, but the enemy's threat to pounce
Was felt with each step until I quickly reached the porch
And entered back inside the church in front of the office.


(This is a dream I had the year after 9/11.)


Details | Free verse | |

asking

All the things you should know
All the swings you’ve taken on me
But haven’t noticed at all
And there goes the things you won’t know

Can’t you see all I got to tell you?
Can’t you tell just by the sound of my steps?
And as it seems you won’t notice at all
And I won’t tell you, not now, not tomorrow

Till you notice what have you done
How does that stomping on my dreams
Dragging all I know down
What I thought was concrete now is just flour on the floor.

So by now all I got to tell you
Is, ask me please
Just the right time, the right words and everything fine.
And it seems that here I’ll be for eons

With all this around me
And you don’t seem to care
You don’t care at all
With my broken past, and you can’t see it 

And there it goes my hope
Within this forest I don’t see a way out
And guarding what’s left it’s all I have.

And still you don’t care.

~Anna


Details | Rhyme | |

A Cohen Questions God

Oh, God, tell me why
You made my bones
From dust
My soul
From 
Hebrew 
Clay

Tell me why 
You made my mind
From storms
Dark remnants
Of the day

Reveal all your secrets
Why you placed me
In this
Pain

Show me a 
Hidden
Higher 
Path
The one 
From which 
I strayed

Refill the pool of
Laughter 
Whose waters
Have been 
Drained

God

You 

Made

Me 

So 

Sad

And...

Naked I kneel
Before you
Sing your 
Yahweh
Name

Naked in your 
Temple
Bathed in 
Holy
Shade

Tell me why
I was born 
A priest
Fallen
And 
Betrayed

Fallen
From your 
Garden
Lost 
In every
Way.

 


Details | Rhyme | |

If We Never Meet Again

If we never meet again,
If I never get to see those eyes,
Full of a land of laughs and lies,
Then darling, I'd just like to say,
Thank you for melting my troubles away,
Even though you turned your back on me,
Leaving me cold and shivery.

You were a fascinating creature;
My one redeeming feature,
You gave me little satisfaction,
But that was part of the attraction,
And if it takes forever
I will learn to leave you behind,
Out of sight and out of mind,
It's going to take a long long time
To replace my partner in crime,
Who else would dare to risk it all
To intervene and break my fall?
Just like I did for you before,
But you won't let me anymore.

So before we go our separate ways,
Let me take one last look at your face,
For whatever happens once we part,
The world can't wash you from my heart.


Details | Free verse | |

Love Thing

She will not say she was Predator.
She knows she was
(She has that throbbing memory to
remind her)
But it's in her intuition,
Her breath (her life)
To be Victim.
Let her play the part.

"It was like a game of chess
Against myself and I;
I won
And thus I lost-

We met by fate
Intertwined by what we loved
The ice gradually cracked and broke
And I wanted his flesh on mine,
His breath on mine
But he wanted me wholeheartedly.
ME!

But I was too torn
I am torn to pieces.

Yet I consented knowing...
Knowing...
I will break everything
So long as I'm broken
And without action,
Without thought,
He was made broken
And now he breaks everything.
A pestilent sick that penetrates.
How was I supposed to know he would grow ill?"

Now nod.
Smile until your jaw cracks,
Else she'll bicker
Til you do.
Don't show signs that you tracked her lie
But show pity...
She doesn't deserve pity
But smile with pity
Pity that the b**** lied to you.

That she deserves.


Details | Ballad | |

Starcrossed Tragedy

A Silent Night's Hunt for a Tigress so blunt, Left the Fiend dancing with my Thisbe's Cloack But where was She? Her Drenching blood is all I can see The Night of Sanguine, The Night of Rapture, Tonight was meant to be All Behold This Tragedy ran by Dark Energy, My Lost Lover's Plea A seed of what is to come, In this starcrossed Tragedy, For I can not live without you, My Pyramus, All I need, My reason to Breathe One sight of me bleeding away from reality, started this tragedy and with me It shall Grow The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy A Star traveling across the moonless Night Sky, In the mid-summer of Verona, Fell from her glorious light, I have lost my guide, My need for Life Every balcony I'll climb for you, Just to Caress you once more But now it is too Late, My Juilet Let the Poison Fill me My Body dyed In silence, Dipped in Paralysis, Forging the Will of God, Feigning the Clutches of Death, My Romeo I prithee to you, See past The Illusion, Caught in the Webs of Love's delusion A Dagger reached my heart once To see you martyr for our love A Dagger reached my heart twice The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy Once the Morning Retired from her weeping The sun shined into her eyes, then his Lifeless, their dream will live on Every Petal will be Avenged The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy


Details | Ballad | |

I Miss You

I know how lost and lonely
Your  world was for a while
Your eyes so sad and empty
Your face without a smile

Your world so out of focus
Set you walking the wrong street
And always I’d be there
To wipe the tears of each defeat

But never did I give up hope
I always knew we’d win
I knew with me beside you
Once again your soul would sing

For you were still the son I loved
Who’d brought me so much joy
You were still a part of me
You were still my boy

And with your strength and dignity
You washed away the pain
Rebuilding all your hopes and dreams
You learned to smile again

And with that smile upon your face
And new found peace of mind
With fun and laughter in your heart
You left this world behind

I feel an endless ache inside
I feel so incomplete
For losing you it means
I've lost the biggest part of me

Forever I will miss the laughs
Our talks, your smiling face
Forever I will miss the son
I never can replace

It’s hard to let you go
Because we never said goodbye
Now you’re an Angel in God’s Heaven
High above the sky

But sometimes when I'm all alone
And feel all hope is gone
I seem to hear you whisper
"Mum just smile, and carry on"


By Raina Hutchins




Details | Couplet | |

The Ugly Sin

We can't get back the years we have lost
The Demon inside stole you at all cost

The father you loved and trusted in
Took your innocence a mortal sin

Your broken spirit yearns more of the same
Now he tells me... that I am to blame

I should have not left you and trusted him
Denial has ways of making life grim

Now what can I do since he took my child
In ways someone could never take mild

I have no witness but you my sweet girl
Protecing your secret till God's grace unfurls

In bed thinking what could I have done
Of all Ugly... this the ugliest one~


Details | Rhyme | |

A Cry For Help

During the devestation of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, Louisiana. Haunting memories 
of a nightmare that will never be forgotten.



All through this great nation,
screaming voices of isolation,
echoing cries of the weak,
along the crossroads of smothering August heat.
No dignity as death unfolds,
wing whipped city, a sinking bowl.
Just for the record and made to be known,
slow to respond to my drowning soul,
with hope for life in a sinking bowl.
The last breath taken with misery,
and just for the record, history.


Details | I do not know? | |

That happy smile of this Girl I know

I want a reason to live
My heart wrenches in pain all too often
Tears stream down my cheeks 
Trembling lips
An urge to scream loudly

I hold it all in. 

There are way too many thoughts swirling in my head
Dizziness and a feeling of loneliness 
Creeping right under my skin
A mental breakdown is soon to show

I hold it all in.

Everyday I get closer to believe
Death might be a better place
For one who is nothing
but a hindrance to oneself 

I hold it all in.

Thoughts of doing harm again
It is getting tough not to do so
Letting everything spill on the floor
The water stealing every drop away

I hold it all in.

Weights fallen drastically 
Who notices, no one
Trying to be pretty
Who am I kidding?
I am nothing but bones
A shell yet full of too many emotions. 

La la la la.
 Mind not clear.
 Eyes clouded. 
Throat soar. 
Body numb.
 I want to leave.

Somewhere faaaaar away. 

I am afraid of the day 
I can not hold it all in
That day shall be
My Death
Wandering off to somewhere else
Fed with lies from all sides

I am Alone.


Details | Dodoitsu | |

FRUITS OF WAR - PORTMANTEAUS

FRUIT OF WAR - PORTMANTEAUS

Brusted gree skirt the terrain --
its fortress now smog of pains.
Sprolled brave emoticons flurst
floppled by remorse.

Alive, lovely floriage.
no mercy, at once loafted!
Finentual world ethics 
forgotten clang cries.

Blind men sinduced to power:
justice then a fadograph.
Bescraped kindness ,dusten traits,
birthing woes and death.

Precious breathing counts one, two. 
In and out wheezing some help
Oozing damage marks hatred
Peace start when war ends.

(c) Olive ELoisa
10:41pm
August 20, 2014

from the list: smog, emoticon

from research:
brusted - Brown Broken and Rusted
gree - any number of green trees
sprolled - sped and rolled
flurst - flew and burst
floppled - fell, flopped and toppled
floriage - flowers and foliage
loafted - floated and drifted
finentual - final and eventual
sinduce - sin and seduce
fadograph - fade photograph
bescrape - escaped and broke
dusten -dusty and beaten


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

What Is The Reason

What is the point
When dark is dark
And light is day

What is the reason
To sit down to write
With little to say

When you were here
Thoughts had all hope
With little to pay

All that was good
Had left me and should
A middle tone gray

But black is black
And now I can see
I'm headed that way


Details | Haiku | |

45th- BLANK

there are 2 blank cards
in the angel card deck so
today I'm "depressed"

for this to be the 
best country in the whole world
today it looks sad

just happy that I 
was a member of the age
of Aquarius

our best hour was 
revolution of 60's
created big change

now elephants rule
just capitalistic pigs
love hear themselves squeal



Details | I do not know? | |

Surrender

Tears of sorrow flow as rivers from my eyes
while I put my pens and pencils away
to never to grace a page again
small cardboard box their final place of rest.

Why such sadness, I know not
maybe it is saying goodbye to a friend,
one who understood me so fully 
let me crawl around inside myself.

Quite possibly this was only beginning 
knowing this elusive person within
with desire to learn so much more
now, I suppose, I will never know.

Pencils are stowed and left to grow old
wooden shafts left to age into dry mottled dust
and pens’ indigo liquid destined to vanish
leaving only an empty plastic shell.

With only these remnants left to remind 
of thoughts and emotions once scribed
now evoke within me a dark depressing thought
of words I might have penned.

Aged and grey some distant day to come
in my favorite chair, a rocker, I sit
staring vacantly through cataract coated eyes
thinking of what things might have been.

Many a responsibility have I neglected
while traveling within my mind
give cause for your final sentence of death
unfair since you merely exist that is all.

So now I must grow-up once more 
youthfulness again lost to reason and logic
bliss of carefree imagination is gone
fading in clarity to a distant rare thought.

Now the small coffin is cradled in my arms
destined for fiery and complete destruction
I ponder consequences of the acts to follow
as a question of fidelity comes to mind.

I do not aspire to arrogant fame and fortune
only seek to escape my own worldly bonds
these some-day artifacts of this life past
have been forever faithful to me.

Now to my desk I return the small box
carefully filled with priceless treasure
pens and pencils returned to their niche
never to stray long from my hand.

From this moment forth, I do profess
this gift bestowed not to be squandered
for anyone endowed with even a token of skill
mortally wounds their soul if suppressed.

(Edited and retitled from a previously submitted poem)


Details | Rhyme | |

No Return

Listen to the school bell
Ring 
Distant plaintive 
Wail

Beyond anything the mind can 
Comprehend

And return to a deserted field 
Where spirited girls and boys
Once played

Before 
Becoming mature
Women and men

When I hear the laughter
Childish screams
And ghostly
Cheers

I can feel a world at 
Peace
Overcoming my 
Fears

Of a future without 
Love
And the solitude I 
Chose

Of a future without
Birth
And the terminus
Imposed

Didn’t I hear a sprightly piano
Plinking through a 
Window
Near that faded
School yard?

Reminds me of you
Bright girly radiance
Dressed in 
Black 
Leotard

Dancing all the time 

We were carefree
Back then
Before the days of 
Wrinkled
Women
Defeated 
Silver
Men

Can I return to that time
With my old soccer ball?

Play with young spirits
Long passed away

Can I redo the errors 
Stamped upon my life?

Recapture 
Lost hopes 
Yesterday

That’s a sharp
School bell
Ring 

Distant plaintive wail

Beyond anything  the mind can 
Comprehend

But there’s no return 
To a deserted field 
Where spirited girls and boys
Once played

Before 
Becoming mature
Women and men

There’s no return to 
The beginning 

No return

When you’ve
Reached 
The
End


Details | Rhyme | |

WEEPING WILLOW

The breeze of the morn she sought.
     Her eyes were wild, as she thought.
Her hands tremble like a leaf on a tree.
     She marked her steps silently.
Sylphlike is her frame.
     She was a lady not a dame.
Within a distance, she looks back.
     The mansion, she found, was in blackness.
So many skeletons remain.
     Her cape begins to skein.
Angst, she releases a sigh.
     The tears she would cry.

Lithe, she bends,
     as agile as the breeze as the wind.
Interchangeability she disallows,
     as she raised her head up to the clouds.
Perhaps, she thinks, life has been lived.
     Ideology misconstrued she perceived.
This lady was once of rank.
     But, now her spirit sank.
No authority does she has.
     Moreover, no one cares.
The breeze of morning she seeks 
     to find inner peace.

Her story, she feels, must not be shared
     too much pain to reveal.
She will not let the world in.
     A dead life ends.
The beginning of a generation is her discourse.
     She will stiffen her backbone and reform.
Solidify from the melodrama, she walks within determination.
     Her ideas begin to form via life manifestations.
She hears the past as if it was now.
     She frowns and shouts aloud.
“Why has my life defeated me?”
     The vision recedes and she feels that victory is guaranteed.

“Who will cut me down?”
     She ponders, as she turns around.
She had secluded herself to well.
     She was not the one to change that.
"When my existence," she reflects, "is so well kempt
     idiosyncrasies are mine to consider."
Remoteness defines the trees.
     She has entered the morning breeze.
Pulling her cape close, 
     she breathed in to establish hope.
Via internal dialogue she spoke.
     “I must linger in the unknown.”
________________________|
PENNED ON AUGUST 17, 2014!


Details | Ballad | |

Corpse Bride

The braeþ of lyf -- I've Learned to fear
Though, ta'en it was, so long sinsyne
I've wroot my song of skreighs
He tore the lyf out of me
In sooth did she speke this to me - Cassandra was she to me
Wistful - I am no bride to be
Wistful - is this soliloquy of skreighs

I cede to thee, deathly colleen 
Though remains - façades of humanity 
Angel kind - wicce of my welkin dreams
Casted by the lote of she
Ta'en the hollow Herefro way - ne'er!
Caught with twain
W'ie or swain

Angel dearest so fair - love does not share
Seemed a crux, when eath is lone
I rose for thee - cede all of thy love to me
Or was this not meant to be
Eros's deceit 
So wistful - corpse bride I remain to be


Details | Lyric | |

Regaining power

Regaining Power.

He walks a lonely road, with his head there in the clouds
And he doesn’t even notice passing strangers
He’s been here ‘bout a thousand years forever all alone
And he’s always looking out for passing danger.

Invisible sometimes he feels, so he tries to seek the glory
As the child calls out in panic “I am here
They have taken all my power so my blossom will not flower
And all around I’ve built a wall of fear

But it’s his pain it is his game
As he prowls around his cage
He lives in vain, is he insane?
And fear ignites his rage.

The truth be plain, the lions mane is what he must acquire
The little boy he must regain his power
And tell the world “I’m here, I’m here” and feed the burning fire
It would take this much to open up his flower.


Details | Lyric | |

Unintelligible Communication - who/what/where/when/why/how?

How can you say the things
that make me want to scream?
How can you hear the words
that make me want to cry?

Why does my life
feel like a constant cliche
and why are you
content to care
about a creature who cares
about nothing at all?

i said i had lost my priorities
but i know i just finally
realized what they are:
"wallowing in self-imposed misery"
ranks first
and manipulation
and selfishness
come in a close second and third
if there is much difference
between them at all.

Can you tell
that i'm out of words?
all i can do
is scream and cry
sigh at life's inevitability
about the mess that is me
and i wish sometimes
that i could let go
float on the flow
of my tears and waters
that teem with my screams
swim
and actually get somewhere.

i try to return to the past
but my creative juices
have fled
watered down by time
and repetitive experiences
and this is new
but not so much so 
that there's anything more
to say
that hasn't already
been said.
i've related to you
the over-used lines
i seem to spill at these times
don't be surprised if
i am reduced
to repeating 4 words:
"what do i do?"
'cause that's all it comes down to.

i write because
it feels like something accurate
-- and that still effects deeply and intensely --
might come out
the next time
or the next time
when really
i read over my old poems
and realize
i've exhausted my supplies
of deep, intense effective poems
and all that's left
is just chicken scratch.

i
don't want to
am not able to
write anything more
all i can do
is lay my head
on the naked pillow
and hope that i won't rise
or if i do
i won't be me.

i can write the words
that make me want to cry
i can write the things
that make me want to scream
but how you can say and hear
i'll never know
'cause i've gone
far beyond the realm
where that is
a plausible
possible
option
but here i can retreat to 
and "fire at will
from behind my hideout
of faux-i-don't-care".
and as i write
i realize that that is the one thing
i can say
that is utterly true
because i am
sorry
and there's nothing i can do
to change that.


Details | Sonnet | |

To The Niece That Never Was

Sweet little girl who snuck upon her mom
without plans already in place to meet,
you’re a tiny hero, a bitter balm
for the wound that left an empty car seat.
A routine visit that ended in tears,
and an operation for the next week.
My sister’s truth was a mother’s worst fear,
never to hold her babe, to stroke her cheek.

After the grim appointment, her eyes glazed
her heart rate jumped high, and her fever raised.
Illness would have stolen her, but for fate.
You had asked a favor at heaven’s gate.
Thank you for saving my sister, sweet one.
I wish though, it didn’t mean your life was done.

11/3/12


Details | Free verse | |

There's Not Much More to Say

Now night hangs heavy
over me.

And meanwhile,
I am alone.
Lost in the past.

Why do I stare at you, in my mind,
with your dark eyes living velvet
in which I lose myself?
My fate's contained in yours.

Let us be extremely frank
and speak the truth about ourselves --
share our anxieties together --
discuss between us what sort
we can't be any longer,what sort
we now desire to be.

Fallen out of love with self-conceit
we shall not regret the loss.


Details | Free verse | |

Child Abused

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Lyric | |

UNFOLD

The pain of change as it unfolds
Is oft a tale that stays untold
What is seen is a whole creature
not deep holes in the feature
nor concrete soles that makes his feet hurt

It all begins with a soft kiss
He is walking with a false bliss
Only following in paw prints
But the nature of mom's lips
Is to rob him of all innocence

Trapped in warm spindles of fear
A wrapped life form kindles in here
Four years bound to shingles of moss
Time to leave this life of sloths
Break free like that of a moth
and Rise again like Christ on the cross


Details | Lyric | |

I'm Nothing Without You

You were the reason for my smile
But it's been vacant for a while
You are the reason why I’m here
I’m nothing without you

You are the reason for my song
The tears I’m crying all night long
Where did you and I go wrong
I’m nothing without you

No one here to see my cry
When you tell me one more lie
No one here to watch me die
I’m nothing without you

Now I’m lonely, sad and free
Fading in your memory
Your arms are where I need to be
I’m nothing without you

No more sunshine; only rain
No more laughter; only pain
Forever lonely I’ll remain
I’m nothing without you

I know my broken heart won't mend
I know I’ve lost my love, my friend
I know my life has reached its end
I’m nothing without you


By Raina Hutchins




Details | McWhirtle | |

This Valentine's Day

What happened to you?
You used to be so sweet.
The one and only guy,
My eyes would ever meet.

You were my man,
Once upon a time.
Giving me flowers,
And sweet valentines.

Now all I know,
Is you deserted me.
Won’t look me in the eyes,
And talk right on key.

You’ve become so cruel,
And I loved you so.
So this Valentines Day,
I’ll try to let you go.

From deep in my heart,
and deep in my brain.
All the memories we shared,
Will forever remain.

That I cant forget
My love is too strong
So this Valentines Day
I’ll try to move on.


Details | Free verse | |

The Fear

The Aphotic rays reach higher
And shame, shade reigns over all
Lacuna, Apathy is all I feel as I fall into the ashed grave
I'm living, the slowest way to die
Elysia, rapture where are you now

What will I do when the flame is extinguished 
What will I do when I drown in ash
What will I do when they sing my name in funeral dirges 
How can this be all, one short organic vitality
Scares to die, but afraid of a new day

Scared to die, but so afraid of a new day
Will I Ressructe to Paradise, burn in Hell, or lay in Sheol
Is this a there is, one feather, to the dirge
My life so long - my suffering grows
Scared to die, but so afraid of a new day

In all of the ashes, a flame begins
Once again, here I am
Living, the slowest way to die


Details | Epitaph | |

Lee's Verse

Whenever a tunnel of darkness descends

Remember... there's always a light at the end

Face all your fears, and follow your dreams

For nothing is ever as bad as it seems

Things may go wrong, but don't be afraid

Lessons are learned from mistakes that are made

Life is not painless, but never despair

Just reach deep inside...and your strength will be there..



For Lee, my son-in-law, who was so very special to me.

Life will never be the same again... 
I will miss you for always xxxx


Details | Free verse | |

The Rebellious Teen

The rebellious Teen loved all his friends. 
The only ones he listened to… were them.
They wanted him to drink and smoke every night. 
They said experimenting with drugs was definitely all right.

The rebellious teen’s mom was beside herself… 
This was her child and this could finish his life.
But he continued to listen to the Devil himself.
What could she do in the end to save his life?

The devilish friends held him closely in the palm of his hand…
In the end she decided she had to move far away from them.
Somewhere… where only new friends he could find.
Those who loved life, sports, and learning: to draw him back in.

Then every so often she let him, for a visit, to go back…
Each time he went, fewer were left to contact, yes, some were even dead.
Some had over dosed… Some didn’t care who he was any more.
What he found was rot and that they lacked the drive to live.

The rebellious teen cried for what he saw they had become…
He had changed and now could see, what was happening to them…
These were no longer the friends that he remembered from before.
He tried to save them with words and his love… but they didn’t care.

He didn’t want to go back to that sadness, to live ever again… 
Now he looked to the future and that was a fact.
The moral I tell you, all of my friends…if he won’t listen to you… 
Then find him new friends.

For if he is your life and if you want him to live…
Find others to help steer him or else you can’t win…
Let his support group be new peers who enjoy life to the brim.
Yes, those who will help lead him to walk in the light again.

From a true experience…


Details | Free verse | |

Mama

Skeletal,
shriveled,
your shell's a delicate, dry
and brittle casing,
soon shed.
Now,
age accumulates and,
exiled and bewildered --
all free choice fled --
death's an unknown terror.
You miss your home,
cannot understand how,
to those who once bent to your will,
you've faded to a shadow,
powerless, almost forgot,
a consequence of the natural order.
Enjoy the moments in the sun,
your food, your precious life's breath
that I listen for at night.
I cling, and mourn your life --
so changed.
Your stroke
has paralyzed us both...
my pity, cloaked in love,
is but another grievous wound
you bear.


Details | Quatrain | |

My Pain

I feel the blinding pain inside,
It rips my soul in two;
No matter how I try to hide,
My growing pain from you…


Details | Rhyme | |

By Reason of Insanity

Harken now 
To this tale most foul
Don surgeon’s cloaks and help disembowel…

Demeanor so tainted, rationale denied
Mental state not withstanding, five children have died
By her dripping wet hands, motherly guile
“Just sit in the tub, baby; just for a while”
“Mommy will hold you, now don’t be afraid”
For there is no stopping the plan she has made

The youngest is helpless, clenching tiny pink fists
The oldest is wary and tries to resist
Undaunted and composed, she chases him down
Since he knows her intentions, he’ll be next to drown

Surveying her work, she surely must know…
But she doesn’t stop there; three more to go
Now that she’s finished she lays them out neat
Onto the bed and covered with sheets

Surely exhausted, but lucid enough to phone…
The police and her husband so she won’t be alone
Not now with the babies, for all is so still
Her clothes soaking wet and getting a chill,

She waits by the door for them to arrive
How fortunate for her, that she’s still alive
To face a jury and be given her trial
Let us sit back and watch the system churn for awhile

The verdict is in…finally those tiny voices will be heard
But what we hear instead are these very words:
She is “Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity”
Here we are now in our feeble humanity
Trying to fathom the innocent suffering
Not bearing to think of such a horrific ending

But alas, here our story must draw to a close
While we contemplate the sweet late children’s repose


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

No Parachutes,safety nets,souls,or hope

Love is whispered and not forgotten
If this be so
I deaf to soft lipped invitations seek no thought of hope
I of no past collection hold thought
To forget is gruesome and beautiful

My eyes, swift allies in my war of world tell no lies

Silent in the 4 walled chalkboard blue
Shakespearean mad men twist their tongues with words of bland hue

I believe the concept of Ugliness is more profound than that of beauty
Dreams of my bladed face fill up behind my eyes...scratching my mind

Nothing goes SURPRISE! anymore
To love and lose is not the exciting protagonist to never having lost love

the optimists run in circles
pretenders of despair hunt themselves

Every street is Desolation row and my window is covered with blood

Nothing comforts anything
No advice

....just surprises


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck

I'm like a lion
Tryin to be  trained
to behave in a cage, but
I wasnt born to be tame
Full of stress and rage
 Im compressed and chained
Infected with depression
beCause I cant catch a break
Lifes taste is so tart
In pain from my scars
Stained by lame luck
Stuck behind apace car
I strive to write
But all I can type is the space bar
I'm Pervaded with doubt
About to freakout
Quick Someone bail me out
I would sniff my way out
but I got this cyst on my snout
From 6 years of this drought
Im sittin with this could of pout
Stickin to me like jam from a can
like melted candy in your hand
I'M a pantree full of Spam
 A Letter without the stamp
A debtor without a plan
Like chicken on a pan without any Pam,
Damn I'm starting to get pissed
 I got to devise a plan, before I break my fist,
Punching this brick wall, I got the spit but no ball
got the wits with no squall, like a toliet with no stall
 Slippin in a pit fall, Shiz just snow balls
I want to brawl, missed last call
My Stick shift just stalled,
This lawl has no intention at stopin at all
And I'm kicking myself in the balls
like old men walking up and down the halls
so i flop, just like a dust mop
Now i got knots in my food box
The size of king kongs rocks and
Every door has been locked
I try to soar but its all for not


Details | Rhyme | |

Dark Side Of Love

He used to be so fun and happy
Now he seems so sad and angry
He never seems to smile anymore
I’ve never seen him this way before
I just want my old friend back
The one who could always make me laugh

It only got worse as time went on
It was then I knew my old friend was gone
He started to get far and distant
I tried, but I couldn’t make sense of it
I started to wonder what went wrong
Was it something that could be undone?

I can see the evil gleam in his eyes
It’s all part of his journey to the dark side
Looking back I can’t help but feel it’s all my fault
Even thought it was his own choice to join the cult
I know there’s no one to blame
And in the end he couldn’t be tamed


Details | Free verse | |

Tainted Reflection

Oh mother!
How many times have you sat here just as I do?
Looking at the reflection of someone you don’t know
Reading all the lines crossing your once perfect complexion
Comparing today’s reality with yesterday’s picture
How many times have you gazed at me with jealous eyes?
Seeing all that you have lost
Dragging me to become what you could not
When all I wanted was the touch of your love
Now I gaze upon my reflection
Trying to see through this window of your soul
What makes you take my childhood dreams?
And toss them away like some broken toy
You stripped away my innocence with make-up and dresses
Gave me hard lessons, that beauty is power
Stifled my happiness in the pursuit of fame
And left me with nothing but a face I despise
I look into this mirror of my fortune
I see a child, an angel, with broken wings
Chained to the will of an expectant guardian
One who will stop at nothing to gain what is not hers.
My dreams are not your dreams
My ambitions are not yours to live
My future not yours to borrow

Oh mother, 
Please let me be!


Details | Didactic | |

Second Thoughts

Why we always look away
From what our eyes desire to see?

Then we think
‘I should have…’

We look back
And we can’t see

It walked away -
We let it be

Why it always walks away
When we want to give a try?

We look back every day
And we pray for one last stand

Then we think back in regret
‘Why i hadn’t…’
Each time we cry

One day we will forget-
The day when we die


Details | Free verse | |

Light To Dark

You think you’ve gone just far enough,

I could smile knowing you’ve gone far enough that you can’t go back again

You think you were careful but,

I’ve caught a glimpse of your true, wretched form

You think you can find a way into my good graces

I’ve seen what you are, monsters with a friendly costume

You can’t deceive me anymore and, I don’t consort with serpents

You think I’m a game to be played but, trust me, you could never win

Don’t underestimate me

You think I’m a joke but, trust me you won’t be laughing

You think I’m just talking myself up but, trust me, you’re the ones going down

My eyes took too long to adjust

Better late than never

It may take a monster to know one but, I promise my teeth are sharper than yours

My first reaction to the hideous revelation that was your form was to weep

Fall to my knees, maybe even wretch my heart from my chest and onto the carpet

Then I thought about the mess it would make

I decided the only blood that will spill, will be your own

I was not weak, but I had a weakness

A heart of soft gold stitched to my sleeve with care

No longer

Now my heart is a stone so heavy

I could kill at least two birds at once 

Being the nice guy is a thing of the past 

Thanks for freeing me of that softness

You thought I was all sunshine and delicate things

When really I had just been swallowing razor blades

Now that sun is setting and I hope you see it was you who were wrong

Can you feel my darkness coming, because it’s eager to hold you

If you thought I was the one who would just stand still or turn to run

Your gonna be the one with tired feet

I’m not sad anymore

Just sick with the plague of your lies

Contagious, and I’m looking for someone to kiss

Even angels can make themselves wicked

When we do, we take no prisoners

Still think I’m a game

This one is just beginning


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Shadows Of Pain

Hollowed eyes and tortured soul 
Spitting words that didn't flow 
Forcing smiles that always faded 
His memories fond, distorted and jaded
Ups and downs, half smiles and frowns
His mind was spinning round and round 
A heart bigger than a sunrise sky 
So numbed he left and didn't say goodbye 
The darkness seized him, held him tight
Squeezed so hard life became a fight 
A fight to eat, a fight to breathe 
Hatred flowed and emotions seethed 
He never forgot and never forgave 
The angst inside him dug his early grave
Handsome groom, number one dad 
The best friend I truly ever had 
Woke up one day not feeling well
Couldn't take this life in hell 
Began his journey to what comes after
Mom comes home, finds him hanging from a rafter 
Terror sets in and shock takes over 
In a blink of an eye their marriage was over 
Two nightmarish calls, one to each daughter 
Cries and screams like lambs at the slaughter 
And so we march on, soldiers in a state of shock 
Thinking it's him, every phone call and knock 
Now, I hope, his tortured soul's at peace 
But we, the survivors, are haunted with memories and grief 
Does the cycle continue - depression and shame? 
Will I follow my father through the shadows of pain?


Details | Free verse | |

Diamonds and Milk

Once covered in diamonds, Ive got nothing on this skin but filth
Once my heart was bathed in milk, but now its rotting in s***
Down on my knees, the crushed onyx under skin, burns
Down on my knees, I see the alarm and panic ringing out loud
Just a long road, I keep my face paralell to the ground
Just a long road, I keep my body moving through the sludge
Inferior and covered in dust, I crawl up onto your prayer rug
Inferior and covered in cuts, I inch my way up to your prayer rug
Cracked fingernails, dirty skin, shaded eyes, slow, thick blood
My cracked hands wear your beads through, down to the heart
Once covered in your diamonds, Im nothing more than sin and lust
Once my heart was bathed in mothers milk, but now its failing slow
Down on my knees, tears are mercury pools in my perimeter
Down on my knees, Ill take it, take it out on me
Just a long road, I keep my face hidden, punish me
Just a long road, I keep my body moving, punish me
Inferior and covered in scabs, I just want to crawl up into your lap
Inferior and covered in scars, Ive stopped bleeding, love me now
Cracked fingernails, dirty skin, shaded eyes, slow, thick blood
My cracked hands wear your beads through, down to the heart
Once covered in diamonds
Once bathed in milk
Im cracked open and sore
But please let it hurt some more


Details | Hybronnet | |

Faded Life

Stuck in a situation, Not knowing what to do? Blocked from all directions, Tired of being sick, throwing and feeling weak, The people I thought I can trust walked away, I am tired of selfish people, I am tired of being alone and fighting this without any support, When this should be your responsibility too! All you want to do party and play, I am tired of facing problems one after another, I need peace, relax and have nothing to worry, Yet you bring hell to me! All you care about is you and your career, While I give my life and risk everything for us & baby, I give up my family, my car and now I am broke and homeless, And all you care about is you and your dreams, It bothers me how you think & blind to see, My dreams and goals for my life is in the trash can, You keep asking for respect yet you cant even understand your women, Without a cause there is no effect, I just wish you would understand that! This is not about who wins or looses! This is about us fixing problems togather as ONE!


Details | Free verse | |

A Chance Encounter

A Chance Encounter A chance encounter the other day Got me chatting to a stranger Just for some time to pass away. He was very well groomed, very smart. Spoke well too, seemed a decent sort. I told him a little tale I had learned whilst at work. Outside a building that’s up for sale Close to the centre of the town A queue of people gathered. Old clothes, hand me downs. Inside people of good heart and souls Were behind tables long. And a kind of soup was poured into bowls. A slice of bread was added to each one poured. As the hungry-eyed came through the door. As each one passed a thank you was heard. Grateful for the meal today. A simple reply least we can do. All was silent no complaints from the poor. Till a young voice said, ‘Please Mummy I want more.’ I sat back in my chair waiting for a reply. The guy opposite gave a big sigh. He said, ‘Things were tough in those days Very hard for the poor in the Victorian Age. They were ignored, did not count, How could others treat them like that?’ No-one should be without the means I say, To feed and clothe their children today. I looked at him and shook my head. My dear friend you misunderstand The tale was not yesteryear or a foreign land. I visited a local food bank the day before last. And like you I was taken aback. Unless with my eyes I had seen, The myth about scroungers I would still believe. Some get the dregs, others get the cream. This is Great Britain in 2013. But the people of our Nation are strong In times of strife they speak as one. ‘We are mighty as Caesar, mighty as Rome.’ ‘ NI CARBORUNDUM BASTARDORUM’


Details | Free verse | |

Perfectly you

You say you aren't perfect,
but look again and behold yourself; perfectly you.
Your tears be heavy-laden with guilt;
also remember, they glisten with remorse.
The sea water of the eye cleanses wounds old
and leads life to the good vulnerability
that teaches humility and belief.

Singing; your voice awakens the dawn
and dancing you set the moon.
Entrancing, you smile
and for a moment I glimpse forever.
Joy's child is your way
and grace is in your name.

Awake in the watches of the night
He watches your panic weeping;
wanting your day to soar 
and set twilight leaping.
Stars twinkle in sympathy,
and meteors lead sight to the other.
Come away with me my love and wink at suns.


Details | ABC | |

The Man Died

He lies a mangled heap of naked shame
dead to nagging worries, thoughts and sorrow
a worn dusty dress clings to his lean marrows
silent he lies in a noisy street with no name

All his lofty dreams and achievements
lie quietly with him in his exposed grave
all his prayers and high hopes none can save
mute the too heap a colossal embarrassment

The joy of an only male child is still
the cheer of giddy success is silent
tears from sobbing hearts are absent
only a crowd of sober vultures at his heels

Curious feet walk briskly away from him
who once lived, loved and sinned like many
who now heedlessly lies without a penny
facing a shy sky who turns away dim

He remains a terrible sight of cold shame
putrid morning, a cynosure of attention
crowds salute hand over nostrils in petition
to our commanding John Doe with no name

A corpse of our national soul lies
dead in the center of our patriotic eyes


Details | Lyric | |

COMMENTS

At first I was thrilled you took the time
To read my work and enjoy my rhyme

My highest hope was fully achieved
Someone connected or so I believed

Your words to me were all like miracles
But in reality I was another of your fools

Your comments once made me happy
Your comments once made me glad
Your comments then made me angry
And in the end they made me sad

I realize now you didn't read my work
You cut and pasted to simply gain a perk

Sold your soul for points without worth
You're the saddest creature on the earth

No one may tell you but everyone knows
Your naked motives are fully exposed

Your comments once made me happy
Your comments once made me glad
Your comments then made me angry
And in the end they made me sad

If all you ever have for me are ditto comments let me be
I really don't like being used with your cut and paste views

Yeah,
Your comments once made me happy
Your comments once made me glad
Your comments then made me angry
And in the end they made me sad

Contest: Jack's "Comments"
Date: 8-27-14
Poet: Lyric Man


Details | Free verse | |

The Sowing

Upon the wind feasted hillside
The jagged edges of used rocks swell
With the fatless skin of babes and wenches 
Below a field of blood, no less a Flanders Field

A continuous swell of rape roll like waves
In the pallid squalor of leaking huts wooden tales tell
The scars ironed in the backs and inner thighs
The voices crying with no listening ear
Blood shines bright in moon's glow sons birth upon the fields

For eons it seems men stack rape like barley and wheat
Small ones soft ones and inexperienced virgins too
Daughters bled away dignity men their respect
Born work and ravished in the fields
Where is their medal of bravery

Today the summer sun washes over the fields
Each rays eclipses the dark memories of sin
As the sons and daughters rise

This poem was written for Joann Grisetti's Copycat contest through inspiration of Debbie Guzzi's The Sowing, one of the Greatest writers here on the Soup


Details | Free verse | |

Loss of innocence

Houses lost, friends go away…
Then others I’ve never known…
Some areas worse, some less…
But all have seen the scar…

Empty homes with vacant eyes…
The bank will own the loan…
Won’t let lose their precious prize…
Until they’ve made a score…

A few will pass thru many hands…
Most will wait with time…
In the end we all lose…
With tears in our eyes…

The only winner any where…
Is the bank that still holds on…
There was really no doubt on this…
As the monster gobbles more…

As still so much is lost by all...


Details | Rhyme | |

Binge and Purge

Musta lost five pounds today
hunger hurts
but I suffer anyway
stomach shrinks 
along with guilt
hope this improves 
the way I'm built


Details | Narrative | |

He'd Just Discovered Suspenders

No job 
No prospects
No optimism 
It took all his energy
Just to fake a smile 
Health eroding 
At the speed of light 
His world grew smaller by the 
second 
Former small pleasures 
Transformed into ambivalence 
Blank and numb 
He walked blindly 
There were no solutions 
To any of his problems 
And then one day 
Out of the clear blue sky 
He smiled without effort 
I even caught a glimmer 
Of a spark in his eye 
Life became a little more 
pleasant 
We all cheered him on silently 
Me his number one fan.

As his confidence had 
diminished 
His gut had grown larger 
He wore his belt below it 
But his pants always slid down 
Far enough to annoy him 
Another problem 
With no solution 
One day, after months 
With the spark in his eye 
He chose to die 
It was a shock because 
He'd just discovered 
suspenders.


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

They said her time had come- Death by insurance

They said her time had come
No place to run
No place to hide
No time for fun
Just an empty vessel inside
Going through the motions
Numb.
Overwhelming emotions
They said her time had come

They said her time had come
Evil coats
She wants to run
She desires to have fun
Not understanding why she can not play
It is now the month of May
Another denial letter
Another denial to get better
They said her time had come

They said her time had come
Why such looks of sorrow?
She doesn’t understand
For there is always tomorrow
Evil coats
She takes a breath
Smelling all of the flowers
No place to hide
Now literally an empty vessel inside
They said her time had come

Her time had come
Her bald head 
Just four years old
She looks to comfort from her mom and dad
Why do they look so sad?
Evil coats drag them away 
She never got that chance to go out and play
Beep. Beep. Beeep.. Bleeeeep….. 
The room floods with long white coats
Now to heaven this little girl floats
Her time had come

They said her time had come
She was just a name
No money, undeserving of fame
Easy for her to be denied
If only the suits had looked her in the eyes
Who is to blame? 
Sent to the free clinic
Now dead at four
No insurance
Ooops! What a shame…
She could have been saved
Now two parents at her grave
Once a happy family, now destroyed
Because THEY said her time had come


Details | Narrative | |

Jose

Jose, the kid on the corner --
El Macho -- who knows no English
and who sells himself to eat
(being still not quite dry)
slept last night in an alley
shielded from wind and eyes
by the bulk of two dumpsters
positioned at angles to each other.
This morning, his smile's
as brilliant as sunshine.
And if he's not exactly squeaky clean,
he's only a little the worse for wear --
probably more immaculate than we,
potential buyers at whom he flaunts his wares.


Details | Ballad | |

Life As We Know It

Sometimes we wonder why we are even here on this earth.  With all the heartache, pain, and strife.  We ask ourselves why we have to go through these things.  We often ask what exactly we did to deserve for these things to happen.  There is no easy explanation.  Life, Love and Understanding is complicated. You can wait your whole life for that one chance for things to go your way, for things to fall into place.  Yet, when you think they have it can often just be a facade...a trick if you will.  We are left to pick up the pieces of what we once called our life.  Then you are left asking yourself...WAS IT ALL REALLY WORTH IT????  Our answer may be yes and it may be no.  It's hard to tell where the "chips may fall".  All the tears we shed, that fall down like rain in a storm.  When we love, most of us love with all of our heart, OUR SOUL, OUR WHOLE BEING.


Details | Narrative | |

Una Visita con Mama -- A Visit With Mama

We walk the rocky shore
and you lean heavily on me,
Mother, bruising my balky arm --
muttering "Ay, Hijo!";
a few steps and, breathless,
we are both exhausted.
Your once-brown eyes, gone gray,
are like concentric rings
rippling from a random stone
thrown into a polluted pond
in winter: eyes as flat
as the latex paint that
coats a cheerless rented room.
Cataracts circle your lenses;
they have a ruptured look --
purple, jellied -- like the eyes
of a dead fish, which I poke,
perversely fascinated.
It is puffed and rotten.
Your eyes are puffed, too, red-rimmed,
moist with tears that brim over
though you try to blink them back.
That you love me and I you,
and that we wish to extend
our time together, is clear --
as clear as the black water
in the pond, as clear as your
cataract-clouded eyes,
as clear as my conscience
when I drop you at the Home,
cleverly inventing an important
meeting, to which I hastily fly.


Details | Haiku | |

Friggatriskaidekaphobia

Thirteen has landed
on the advent of weekend...
Spare me from the curse!


Details | Rhyme | |

Guilt Overflows

Guilt overflows
with a spark of revilement
its decay spreads like fire, 

blinding...conniving...

binding up in its sticky debris
still surviving
tangled whispers bleeding through me
reminders of a depthless past...
listen to the sobs beneath me, 
the hardness of your ears meet my lips at last
deep inside a heap of lies, 
refusing my cries
you can never see how binded I am...
how blinded I am.
you too cannot see...you cannot see
though your eyes meet me, 
still, you cannot see.
the least you can do is listen
listen carefully,
sight is mere illusion, 
follow the voice intently,
it cries softly, oh so softly...
before it dies away unnoticed 
It whispers steadily, 

Remember me, 

Remember me...


Details | Narrative | |

Chance

Chance

By BJ Welsh

With life and living we take our chance
Nodding in agreement to a furtive glance
Waking up each day is a chance we take
That life will deliver us for Heaven’s sake
We awake each sunrise with a hope reborn
Chance seeing an other suffer and torn

It’s one other’s life you see at a glance
Hoping for approval, it’s but a chance
The life you witness as others pass
The pain inside may subside, alas
Hoping to see one as you
The chance you take to find two

Running out of time the clock is ticking
Chance there are others whose lives aren’t clicking
Great as that may be, the chance you’re all alone rises
Furtive glances from beneath disguises
Chance that hiding the pain and hurt won’t last
The agony you feel will not be fast

Chance you soon become discovered
In your waking hours its’ uncovered
You’ve lived a life of hurt and pain
 The chance you’ve taken may have been in vain 




Details | Free verse | |

life now

the life that you have now 
is the one you will cry over when you are removed from it 
it happens that many lives are taken 
away from the now and when we lived 
the can’t grow fast enough is bicycle hard to catch up to 
crispy in leaves, and, bare under the bark


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

The Soap Queen

"I impersonate myself
in another place and time,
while I sit here on the shelf
for my old, unconscious crime.

Assessing T.V. damage,
you have to play a role;
it's a novel form of language
but it sure does take its toll.

The sadness of what might have been,
the ignorance of youth,
but he didn't have to be so mean
and a liar spoils the truth.

Somewhere there's a lab-rat
who laughs at all his jokes;
it can't run because it got too fat
but it will eat until it chokes.

I know I can be quite intense
and my motivation's murky,
but let me say in my defense
that I like my beef quite jerky."


Details | Rhyme | |

This Is Me

Bottled up inside are the words I 
never said,
The feelings that I hide, the lines 
you never read.
You can see it in my eyes and read 
it on my face,
Trapped inside are the lies of the 
past that I cannot replace.
With memories that linger won’t 
seem to go away, 
Why can’t I be happier, today’s a 
brand new day.
Yesterdays are over even though the 
hurting is not,
Nothing lasts forever I must cherish 
what I’ve got.
Don’t take my love for granted, for 
soon it may be gone,
All I’ve ever wanted was the love 
you thought you’d won.
The hurt I’m feeling now won’t 
disappear over night,
But some way some how everything 
will turn out right.
Strum a little tune that’s playing in 
my head, that speaks
of things that someone thinks but 
often goes unsaid.
The rhythms flow is oh so slow but 
the power isn’t dead.
I make mistakes….
I am out of control, and sometimes 
hard to handle,
But if you can’t handle me at my 
worst, 
you don’t deserve me at my best.
Watch as this tear falls into empty 
space, 
See me fall into life’s nameless 
place.
Can you see my sparkle as it catches 
the light?
That sparkle once was happiness 
that is no longer in sight.
As it falls watch it, its color has 
changed, 
From blue to bright red, it has a 
wide range.
There it goes all alone, it continues 
to fall. 
With me, it takes the emotion, the 
emotion of all.
Wait. Can you hear me? A sob has 
broke free,
Has shook my lungs cold, but yet I 
continue to be.
Here it comes, a force has been built 
between my eyes,
A wall of sheer water it’s now time 
to cry.
A shudder, a scream, darkness 
envelops my soul.
The darkness of the night has taken 
its toll.
But on the bright side of me,
I watch what I say and say what I 
should.
Something you said I 
misunderstood,
I’ll figure it out as soon as I figure it 
out.
I could get there if I would just 
move,
I like what I have and love what I 
lose.
Figure it out as soon as I figure it 
out.








Details | Lyric | |

My Struggles


My Struggles My mind grows weary. My eyes are teary. My heart often skips a beat. I toss and turn through the night. My soul and flesh continue to fight. I do what is wrong, but I desire what’s right. Inside I burn with fury, But outside I appear cool as a Winters breeze. A great storm is in the near future. Who will intervene before disaster strikes? Who will save me from the strong winds and hail? I can only pray that all goes well. I can only pray to survive this shipwreck. I can only pray to reach shore and be able to breathe again.


Details | Narrative | |

Words of Meaningless Torture

I only ever tried to be there for you. I thought I was your friend...I thought I helped but obviously not. I wished to make you happy...to feel good about yourself. To make you believe you were special and you meant something...because...well you meant everything to me and I did what I could to show you that but it's apparent I just failed. As I fail at everything...I guess I can't even be a friend. Because when you said...the new friend...this person whom you only just met--while we've been friends for years-- but this person... oh yes must be so “different” because as you said....is the only one to make you feel happy. The only one to make you feel worth something...makes you feel special. Makes you feel like you matter...the only one to have helped you realize you make a difference....
I guess I was just never good enough. I tried and tried but it just wasn't enough and now slowly it's unraveled just how meaningless...how torturous...this all is. Because I hear from you less...and less. I get short responses. It takes nearly and army of message to get a reply...and then...it's hardly a reply. 
I'm just sorry...I couldn't have been any better than I am. I'm sorry that I never made you feel good about yourself...or happy or anything. I'm just sorry I was never the best of a friend. Because...believe me...I did try. But I guess I just wasn't good enough. Never good enough. So...I'll just move back and idly sit in the shadows lost with time...because I obviously have no meaning in your life....after all...you were never happy....until the new friend came along.... But nevertheless...you still mean everything to me....you have always made a difference in my life and even now as I watch, through tear filled eyes, the words you send me make a huge difference still....a difference I never thought would happen but...still a difference...and the difference is....I was never anything to you and you were always everything to me. And that, my friend, is a difference. And always will be. But I hope...that you'll always stay happy...as that's all I ever wanted for you....


Details | Free verse | |

Rain

The rain fell down fiercely today.
Washed the trees and washed the birds,
the cars that slowly passed by,
And washed the red roofs of houses in town.

It just couldn't wash away this sorrow,
this inate, nevergone feeling of being alone.
My lips move but what do they say?
not a word from what runs within.

And I always hoped that like salt
the rain would melt it all away,
releasing the heavy lid upon my chest.
A naive expectation,
A silly childish mistake.

For I will die misunderstood,
I'll surely die being betrayed,
No doubt I'll die trying to mend
my full of hope, broken, bleeding heart
that 's been always as heavy as the rain that fell down today.


Details | Lyric | |

Noise

A thousand different voices, I don't know what they say 

Two songs playing at the same time, make this go away

The horrible sound of a Siren, are you sure you can't hear it to?

I really should be asleep now, But  what can I do?


Details | Free verse | |

Hey to Everyone Who's Been Brocken Hearted!!

Hey to everyone who has ever loved 

the Guy i trusted and i loved lied to me and 

pretended to trust me while he would whisper 

sweet little things only just for one thing this is not fair 

Why did he lie if the truth was not right how could this be 

this just upsets me and i can't think no more its so hard to

think and how do i feel u ask me now that we don't got nothing to do with 

eachother how could u do this i loved u so much the love i had 

for u will never be gone the trust in u is now so far 

away all i want u to know is 

How Do u Fell Now That Am Gone ?


Details | Verse | |

His Gentleness

He gently creeps into her room
to rest tenderly near her side
 while thoughts of melancholy zoom
 in  of his once vibrant bride
she's been there for him
so many, many years
he sniffles~and tries to hide 
the sorrow and the tears
she has been injured and hurt
but has lost the fight
she will not make it through the night
she will be in paradise by tomorrow's day
he reaches to sniff her best skirt
holds it tight~ it smells of her perfume
he drags over to the vanity to spray
her familiar scent around the room
he cradles her head within his arm
then musters an adoring smile as he whispers in her ear, 
"Time travels fast, and I will see you in a while, my dear"
He provides her warmth by stroking her hair
he wants to capture this image of her there
he wants this moment painted on the wall
so that he can always,always recall
how peaceful she seemed while adrift somewhere.

Copyright McCuen 2009


Details | Rhyme | |

No Hope for the Hopeless

I doubt myself,
And all my worth,

I hate this life,
And curse my birth,

No need to wait,
For my 6 feet of earth,

I’m already dead and buried,
In this hearse I call skin,

'Cause I’ve laughed for so long, 
While I’ve cried from within,

So laugh with the cynics, 
At all hopes that I’ll win,

'Cause victory is an illusion,
A mirage I can’t touch,

Why should I delude myself,
With visions of such?

I’d rather die a broken cynic,
Before using hope as my crutch.


Details | Ballade | |

Vets story

Vietnam Vets Story

Have you heard the story
Of those bold courageous men
Who served their country tall and proud
As they fought in Vietnam.
They done their country proud and all
And showed how soldiers fought
But now their lives aren’t worth a damns 
Their nerves all tense and taut.

They sprayed their poisons on trees
Endangered all these men
And fed them drugs not tested yet
They didn’t care back then!
They wanted just to win a war
A war pointless and mad
And many now do suffer so
Their lives all sour and sad.

And now these men just live their lives
All down with no self value
{Their bodies torn their minds all twisted
Marriages broken too!}
They have to fight with all their might
To get fair compensation!!!!
What price to risk one’s soul and life
In defence of one‘s good nation.


Details | Free verse | |

You Are Rich

Festered lament maddens me
Why must the despair of my heart’s desire
Truly enlighten me? 
I rested among the sick and lame
And found myself no different from the rest
For a troubled mind holds endless poverty
Penniless regret marks as a sickness no doctor can prescribe
For the bottles of balm are empty
And medicinal hope grows angry
I derived my madness from creativity
Revealing the remains of my humanity
‘Cool off, child’, I heard a soft voice whisper
But can’t you see I live off the flame?
It asks for no nickel or dime!
But it seeks to destroy all the same
The small voice returns at times
And often my heart listens
But we all listen
And only believe in the inevitability of pain 
I speak of the majority
Not of you
For you are blessed and beyond disgrace
You have a life—a beautiful face

And most of all, you are rich
With attributes I can only dream of 

You are rich with life and purpose
Holding inscrutabilities I can only wish to understand
You lift me without touch or care
Disposing me from your treasures
Because though you meant no harm, 
You are rich with blessing
And must remove all possible threats
So my festered lament
Remains an enlightenment

I can say I am rich in poverty
But you are forever rich
In Mystery

What hurts the most is knowing
I may be wrong about you
For you are so obscure in this mind
And as empty as I am I wish to be filled
In your richness
But we all are filled to the brim in the end
And sometimes I cannot distinguish the good from the bad
There is nothing I wish to discard
So I hoard in constant deficiency and despair  
And I hoard the idea that you are beyond compare

That you are rich
And always will be richer
Than me—or he


Details | Ballade | |

The day I hurt my lady

The day I hurt my lady

Once I really hurt some one
Someone so close to me
And though I am a happy man
I fill with misery
Every time I think about
The way I pierced her heart
And with my act of cruelty
I ripped her soul apart.

The boredom, It tore at my soul
The day I done this deed
I did not consider her at all
I only thought of my need
But karma always catches up
And cuts ones heart to shreds
And when I think about my lady
Sad thoughts they fill my head.

Every time I look at her
Remorse it fills my mind
Compassion rips my soul apart
No peace then I do find
My joy is blown to tiny shreds
I never will forget
The day I hurt my lady love
And filled her with regret.

24 April 2014 @ 0616hrs.


Details | Rondeau | |

On a Park Bench



On a park bench, the codger waits
left to ponder why he must hate
this man he loves whose gone astray
in the park, his young son once played
vacillating, he deflates

His gay son, he thought in dire straits
heavily, his worrying weights
from balderdash of youth today
On a park bench

The codger once loved to elate
or tell a joke of his create
but now the amusing displays
usurped by his deploring ways
fear not hate left to devastate 
On a park bench   


Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Seventh place in For Love of Language contest (Debbie Guzzi)
 



Details | I do not know? | |

The Storm

Rain falls on the roof
Each drop plays a familiar note
I toss and turn no sleep to be found
The storm rages on

A chill fills the summer air
My body aches with fear and longing
No comfort to be found inside
The storm rages on

Raindrops hit my face
One by one, they awaken my senses
To erase fear, doubt, and sensibility
The storm rages on

Lightning streaks across the sky
I am blind to the dangers ahead
In the flash of light I see only hope
The storm rages on

As fast as it came
The rain starts to fade
I retreat inside my shelter
The storm rages on

My thirst overcomes me
I am consumed by the need
To feel the rain on my face again
The storm rages on

The stars shine like gems
On a cloudless night
I toss and turn no sleep to be found
The storm rages on


Details | Haiku | |

SLUMP

facing depression
enduring the agony
constant state of angst


Details | I do not know? | |

irresistible FADED memory

My heart is crushed yet is hushed,
I feel rushed, 
Six years was long,
I felt there is something wrong,
When I am with you, I don't feel strong,
Strongly feel things are prolonging.

Promises that you made,
Nothing came along, yet it fade.
Time is wasting into nothing,
Nothing worth while to keep.
We are still in step one,
My veins are popping out of anger,
My head is blowing out of pressure.


The storm has come,
My face is blank with no expressions,
Should I run?Panic?Relax?
Sorrow comes with a flow,
The mistakes that I made it shows.
Scared to face my fear,
Yet is near my dear,
Running without a parachute,
Walking on the clouds,


Not sure where life is taking me?
Curiosity kicks in,
Was all this a a long dream?
I want that dream to be true,
Your multi-personality is suffocating me,
Feeling your unpleasant status,
Makes me not want to be with you,
Question,questioning, questions?
You are unbalancing my weight,
I have always know that you are the one,
Until you ruined everything of my existence, 
With a long distance,
Now you made me unsure,
You are changing in a bad way,
I am scared to love you,
Because I don't recognize you as you.


Details | Free verse | |

I Have The Evil of You

I have the evil of you
Caught in my hands, entangled
Like the arabesques of Eden's vines
Just like paradise, but why should shame remain
Singeing like immolation of Peter's Inferno
These reddish-purple chains convolute myself
as the grapples shoot out from the clouds
both below, above me
The self-lovelust propelling 
You did this - these plagues
You drag me down - to your cage
Cadaver Vampire - I am your slave



Details | Villanelle | |

Goodbye

With hasty steps you led yourself astray;
You rant and rave, convinced that you're still right;
Confused a quest for imminent decay.

Though all you claimed to want to do was stay;
The brave facade was meant to hide your fright;
With hasty steps you led yourself astray.

So fast you ran and ran and ran away,
All along you knew you'd lose this useless fight;
Confused a quest for imminent decay.

For years I dreamed of times long past, how gay,
The days when happiness made darkness bright;
With hasty steps you led yourself astray.

The times of wishing hard,  with such dismay,
Have vanished now that I have learned your plight;
Confused a quest with imminent decay.

And though you try to claim that I betray,
Your words fall short and I cannot hold tight,
With hasty steps you led yourself astray,
Confused a quest with imminent decay.


Details | Narrative | |

When I Was A Child

It started when I was a child
I was a kid with a gift
That no one understood or recognized
Instead of loved I was picked on and ostracized

However I blocked it all out
But little by Little its all coming back
Like layers of an onion
That held me tightly wrapped

Bits and pieces of my memory
That were hidden away in code
Deep within my mind a door was closed
I?ve reached in to remember because my life is now in jeopardy

All the emotional and sexual abuse that I closed off to survive
Has been staring at me sabotaging my life
This life is not what I have dreamed and I am dying inside
And if I don?t face the truth of what was done to me 

Then I will surely become the monster that I despise
And as the tears bellow up
I again take another breath
Like soot in a fireplace and a hair ball in a cat

I cough up the toxic memories
As images flash through my mind
With my face in the toilet I begin to cry
My body begins to stiffen as nausea rises to the top

I then begin to wail from deep in my chest
It?s a hideous cry that sends chills down my spine
As I grit my teeth and hang on for dear life
A thought runs through my mind why.. why.. why.. why.

I?m tired of the black outs
I?m tired of the fear
I?m tired of the loneliness that have held me prisoner here
I?m tired of the pain and suffering that has come in my parents name

I?m tired of all the trauma and I?m tired of all the drama
I?m tired of the neglect that?s been perpetrated on my soul
Keep your hands off of me, keep your beliefs away from me
From all the mental abuse and all the negative remarks
And you still don?t see how you?ve damaged my sensitive heart
 
I?m tired of hearing all the denial
I?m tired of hearing how there is nothing wrong with you
I?m tired of you blaming everyone else but you
I?m tired of hearing how you hate this and you hate that

I?ve tried for years to heal this wound
But it seems to have spread to my nephew too
I don?t know what else to do
I even ruined my only serious relationship to get revenge

In my mind I justified their crime 
From all the bad advice and all the dysfunctional decisions
And I thought I was reversing everything 
When I vowed never to get married and have kids
But that sabotaging act has done me more damage 



Details | I do not know? | |

How Blue

If I had the girl
 we would sleep days.
 Put dimes in the jukebox by night, 
 listening as darkness plays.

 But her haunting green eyes,
 yet do remain.
 lost among twisted highways,
 searching left me insane.

 If I had the girl,
 I might get out of this rut.
 Loneliness seems my only companion,
 realization lays fierce in my gut.

 I know very well,
 The feeling of absent hope.
 The hurt and pain you expel,
 with no way to cope.

 Scared of remaining alone,
 another long day.
 Wanting the end to save me,
 to carry me far away.

 Coming to terms I'm blue.
 Voicing my lonesome plea.
 I know now certain things to be true,
 If only true to me.

 If I had the girl,
 who saw things the same.
 Saw how a pine tree smells cold.
 How being sad,
 seems better when it rains. 


 The girl that knows the little things.
 Like how a closet door is never fully shut.
 She knows the comfort the cold side of a pillow brings,
 and thinks pure bred no better than mutt.

 Yet I only know sadness so heavy,
 it's hard to breath.
 Insupportable loneliness so steady,
 I yearn for it to leave.

 The solution must not involve, 
 the business end of a gun.
 Cannot hang from the end of a rope.
 Nor be found at the bottom of bottles,
 Emptied their whiskey and rum.

 Feels so old,
 being blue.
 getting up tomorrow,
 missing today.
 There is no more me,
 left to look for you.
 So my eyes meet the stars,
 my mind slips away.


Details | Ballade | |

shelly

hey fairly girl
why you looking so sad 
i wish ,what you had, i had 
the friends. the art. the life 
why are you so sad 

i looked at you like you were on a pedistal
then i found out that you were troubled 
i tried to help 
when u were well and u were bruised and broked 
but i tried through it all
till u lost youre way
there was nothing left to say

except . im sorry 
from the bottom of my heart 
i wish i had saved you
my fairy cousin , my sister , my friend 
i will allways love you till i see you again
i know youre here 
i know you hear 
my special friend 
shell youre missed to no end 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Senior Moments

Please remember to remind me
Because sometimes I forget
That I forgot to do something
(How forgetful of me!)
What did I forget, you ask?
Umm, well I guess I for...
Oh, just FORGET THE WHOLE THING!
(Forget what?)
NOW, lets see here...
What WAS the whole thing
That I just told you I forgot to forget?
And by the way...
Just what the heck IS it
That I forgot to forget in the first place?
Have you forgotten to remember to remind me?
(Remind me of what?)
Aha!...you don't remember do you? 
You forget who you're dealing with here!
And another thing...
Just who in blazes ARE you dealing with?
You've messed with the wrong person, fella!
I NEVER forget a face!
Apparently you've forgotten
I have the memory of an ele...

By: Um...



Details | Ballad | |

The joy of the pheasant shoot

The joy of the pheasant shoot.

Getting set for the big event
The good folk do their stuff
They beat the earth with sticks, do they?
With their little dogs so tough 
They flush those pheasants from the scrub
So all can have some fun
Killing them with smiling faces
As they fire beloved guns.

Then as the pheasants in a panic
They bolt into the sky
Our hero’s with their guns in hand
Make sure that hundreds die
As the air is filled with the cracking sounds
As birds fall all around
Just so these fools can get there jollies
These corpses cover ground.

I wonder sometimes if these hero’s
Have any souls at all
That they could get such satisfaction
Doing these acts so cruel
Sometimes it leaves me speechless
At the way folk get their pleasure
Killing beauty just for fun
Is an ugly kind of leisure.

10 September 2013 @ 1340hrs




Details | Tyburn | |

Stained


Reaching 
Grasping
Creeping 
Lasting
Stronger than the reaching grasping pain
Still it leaves a creeping lasting stain.


Details | Free verse | |

Peace On Earth

I am told that there was once peace on earth,
but that was well before my time
and I will soon be turning sixty seven.
I feel sorry for the youngsters of today
and all of those who are yet to be born
because I do not foresee the situation getting any better.
I hope and pray that I am wrong in my assessment,
but history points towards an awfully violent future
for all of the coming generations.


Details | Verse | |

Tear a Heart, Shred a Soul

She sat alone
Against jagged stones
Carving her misery into them
Watching the blood, red and worn
Retell her sorry tale

The ocean waves crashed at her feet
As if trying to warn her
As if trying to tell her something
"He isn't there anymore"

But she won't heed the angry voices
Nor will she try to move
Because the ocean reminds her too much of him
His blue eyes, and cold heart
And a midnight summer charm

She waits until it fades to black
and the ocean looks like a black abyss
Then she hopes it will swallow her
leading her to him

Maybe the ocean will take pity
And lead her straight to hell
And into her long lost love open arms
Where he's waiting for her

But the ocean refuses to open
And refuses to let her drown
They try to tell her that he isn't there anymore
She has no reason to cry

Tear a Heart, Shred a Soul
No difference will it make
Unless you head the silent whispers
That he is waiting on the sand
Beneath the moon
Watching and Waiting for her return

His tale too is a sad one
For she will never come back
Her ripped up mind
Her beaten body
Lay in the ocean, buried deep
Waiting for him

(i have the same poem up on a different site...username XxUnforgivenxX)


Details | Ballad | |

Without You

If I was granted just one wish
A wish that might come true
I’d wish with all my heart and soul
For yesterday and you
If only I could turn back time
I’d go back to the start
If only you could hold me 
While I slowly fall apart
Questions left unanswered
So many words unsaid
Letters that I wrote will now 
Forever go unread
Why you went I’ll never know...or 
Why you had to die...or
Why you had to leave me
Why you never said goodbye
Looking to my future
All I see is pain and sorrow
Without you I’m shattered
Without you there’s no tomorrow
Without you I’m so alone
I don’t know where I’m bound
Without you I’m lost…
Without you I can’t be found
However dark the nights
I’m told the sun will rise again…but
How can I see sunshine
When my world’s so full of pain
Please don’t leave me here alone
Please kiss away my fears
Lee, I need you with me
Please come home and dry my tears
Hold me hun, just one more time
The way I used to know
I need to feel you here
I’m just not ready to let go
I miss your face..your smile..your touch
I miss your many charms
Days are long ..my nights are cold
Not being in your arms
But ...what I miss the most is when
I look at you and see
The love I know you're feeling
When you’re looking back at me
I know I must be strong now
For this mountain I must climb
But how do I survive without
The love of my life time
You wasn’t just my husband
But my friend and lover too
And no one in this world 
Will ever take the place of you..


For Lee...the love of my life..
I will miss you forever

Your wife...Bree x












Details | Free verse | |

What are we really trying to say here or Get a poetic life

This is a poem to those who think thinkfull; 
whose thinkwrite, thinkthink, thinkprose, thinkcopy, thinkulate, thinkcujol 
as a full member's fool. 
My, me, mine contests are the bestest, contestest, behestest gorestest
since I'm a poet that's hosting, and ur the poet degenerate that's posting. 
This makes me in copulocommand and u in dildodemand. Hitherto inconsequential.
My criteria is susperia, whattheheria and scary as hell, because I know not 
what I'm doing and which wreaks, of,     Oh well!
It's funny to seewrite yr crap as something u think poetcool, 
but in poetreality on my site,  it is only poetgruel,  
as u lack the real innate streaming  talent (dollars/cents to be true)
to tintilate, as yr soul it waits for retooling.
Don't fret for u can be me, and all that's wordly fruitful and free.
just pay the right price for lifetime linear refooling! 
For it's then our poetic equation becomes wordglue
equazic for it's momentary monetary meger word sequestration.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Knew Someone Who Wanted to End It All

I Knew Someone Who Was Ready to “End It All!” I knew of someone who just wanted “to end it.” Giving up on life, and did not want to “defend it.” It was a heart wrenching and difficult situation. He said what he wanted to, with no explanation! I could see his face and the sad look in his eyes! What he was going to do next, was anyone’s surprise. He turned to drugs and encountered addictions. With this brought much disease and afflictions! He gave up on the wonderful family that was given. And turned to a pretty wild and crazy way of livin’! I told him about a God who loves him very deeply. As he listened, he began to grow restless and weary. I reached for his hand and began to pray for God’s power! It was a miracle! The blood of Jesus changed him that hour! The spirit of God brought healing and hope to his body! He was so excited! He rushed out to tell everybody! The “end” that he wanted, seemed to just fade away! For the son of the living God, changed him this day! The glory of God, and the power of Jesus’ resurrection… Changed him! And got him going in a NEW direction! He’s so thankful for the blood of Christ’ atonement! And is a different person now, because of that moment! This same Jesus loves and can do the same for YOU! Through the problems of life… He will see you through! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Nevada

An all-but-empty Interstate stretches
straight, streaking horizon to horizon:
it is a ribbon with no bow, wrapping
northern Nevada. The eye fixes
on absent fences, looks for limits,
scans scenery overwhelmed by sky.
I cock my thumb to beg a ride;
a tear forms at the corner of my eye.
"Damn wind!"
I mutter, half believing the lie.
A dusty pickup rolls toward me
then accelerates, leaves me staring.
It dwindles into distance. -- "OK!",
I snarl -- I kick a rock, pick up my pack
and start to walk, left thumb poked
out to nothing. Someone will stop.
Two cars speed by; I wave to them.
My belly rumbles and I count
the steps I take. My wet eyes ache.
Someone will stop. Or won't.


Details | Haiku | |

away my boy joy

looks like refinement
from outside boiling pot in
cool calm big fat lie

her tears tear me up
along with the depression
pukes on everyone

away my boy joy
morphed from this to that kid to man
overnight success






Details | Epitaph | |

We Grieve

You left behind a sadness
That will never go away
So many hearts are broken
Their pain is here to stay
The sun will go on shining
The sky will still be blue
The world will go on living
But still we grieve for you
You touched so many hearts
You were so many peoples friend
Now all we have are memories
Since your life came to its end
In you was something special
Your personality shone through
You’ll never be forgotten
As still we grieve for you
Time stands still for no one
But how do we move on
How do we survive in life
Still loving what is gone
Although through life some friendships fade
And others start anew
Yours will be remembered
Because we’ll always grieve for you...


For Darren, my friend...


By Raina Hutchins



Details | Blank verse | |

Rag Doll

i break down once more, lost falling off of the highest precipice of my own bitter consciousness tumbling down, crumpling to the floor in a pile my worn and sagging shoulders crushed with the weighty knowledge of this injustice that is my ceaseless torment this abysmal internal darkness which claws into my mind driving me mad with sorrow and fear and contempt now i pound and plead, shudder and scream my blue button eyes spilling saltwater and i find myself wrapping limp, lifeless arms around my sack body; shields to ward off this desperate, terrible loneliness that is growing inside this empty husk of me for my stitching has torn, and my sides have ripped and i've spilled all that i am onto the carpet; all of the sawdust and cotton fluff the silly stupid meaningless nothing that makes up my entire existence now all that remains is this hollow aching inside of my fabric body a hungering for an escape, anything anything anything please this slow throb that drowns out all else reminding me forever more that i am and have always been truly alone.


Details | Blank verse | |

The Meal

The fresh markings lit up on her worn face
It's my fault that he's acting this way
He wouldn't have hit me if I just made the meal like he liked it
I shouldn't have added those darn peppers
He hates that I know it
Why did I make it with peppers?
He comes home
Same routine/ tosses her against the wall
Tells her how much he hates that he married her
Another day another beating 
Blames herself for their trouble
Never realizes it's him not her
Paradise in suburban America


Details | Free verse | |

The Margins

She sleeps with a copy of Stephen King's The Shining under her pillow.

The knife was left on the kitchen sink; the gun to her head out of ammo.

She writes, but has no pen to stab with-
just a finger to make herself sick

Reflection screams "I want to be perfect!" and the mirror shut up!

How can she? How can she? She will fight; she'll work for it, she's been working

a new page; fresh - running out, wasted
so much paper wasted already

She writes in the margins, left there for someone to open the book and see 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Shots Fired, The Aftermath(Footles)

Gun Shots
Call Cops

Few More
Hit Floor

Lights Off
Dry Cough

Dark Fears
Soft Tears

Phone Fails
Bite Nails

Some thing
Drove Me

Open
Curtain

Soft Cries
Inside

Broke Down
On Ground

Draw Near
Over Here

Father Please
Help Me

Late Night
Such Fright

Can't Sleep
Anxiety







Details | Lyric | |

For the Dying Orphan

I let you die for my name As you reached for my hands Out of waters of drowning What a hypocrite this writer is The Hatred of Solitude Letting an orphan dream Then destroy him with knowledge Of what you have done He opened up to you In new ways But in nostalgic guises The springwinds whisper blithe yore But the winterwinds, much stronger Caress you with the dreams of your funeral sky “It was you… it was your fault… Letting the one who was so open to you Be the laugh… the piece in the game…”


Details | I do not know? | |

TIME

Time
is all I've got
and even though others wish
for more
I can not stand 
another minute

Time
Seem like I´m going backwards
and even though I wish
for a return
I am not likely
to find my way there

Time
trapped in a paralyzed body
and even though my family wish
for me to live
I can not find one
single reason to do so

Time 
captured in total emptiness
and even though you wish
to understand
I am not likely
to explain anyway

Time
hurts when one is waiting to die
and even though life may wish
to go on 
I can not see any
dignity in it


Details | I do not know? | |

Gold Star

Sometimes I sit and ponder
what it may be like
to have parents, not always 
looking for a petty fight
the love you feel, always
being there for you
day o' night

I wake up fighting a
constant battle,
I feel like I am in a circus
having to jump through hoops
my parents hold
to earn their admiration and 
approval

Earning their gold star
for the day
I was a rebel since day one
not trying to conform
dancing to the beat of a 
different drummer

Wishing to be accepted 
for who I want to be
and how I seek to spend my hours
nothing I ever do, seems to be good
enough

They talk about "emotional deposits"
i.e. spending time with them
but they spend too much time
picking and proving
reacting wrong, saying ignorant assumptions
they push me away, each day
'further and further I go
as soon as I make enough money
I'm gone

They act as if my artistic mind 
couldn't make money
like my dreams are distant relatives
of which I will never meet
but I strive to prove them wrong

Its bad enough being
one person versus the world
but when the army you fight
is led by your family, your blood
it's twice as hard to get up
in the morning, when the suns
rays dance on my closed
eyelids 

I try my best to be the kind
of person I want to be
despite their efforts to kill off
my individualistic soul
I have given up trying
to belong to which I 
was born unto
I'm simply playing the game

Hoping to win, one day
the chance to be myself
as I feel emulates me,
and regardless
have a proud
Mommy and Daddy
I do pray, I shall be
 free to be 
Heather Rose Marie


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye Dear Child

Goodbye Dear Child

We will see you again

We will love and pray for you

Each night until then

Please find it in your heart

To forgive your mothers

Blasphemous heart

Please forgive her

For believing in “Pro-Choice”

For taking away your voice

She knows not what she has done

In this decision no one has won

Words can’t begin to describe

All the pain she's in

Saying she's sorry

Won’t wipe away her sin

For her decision she surely pay's

She surely pay's each and every day

Goodbye for now dear child

We will see you again

We will Love and Pray for you 

Each day until then…

Lay


Details | Rhyme | |

My Secret Garden

Branches and ivy lifted like
A flimsy sort of solid shield,
Wind whispers through the keyhole as
My secret garden is unsealed,

Petals tremble fearfully,
Mistrustful of this open plain,
Both buds lean in towards the light
Whilst trying disinterest to maintain,

Sun flares upon my frightened flowers,
Blinking from their lifetime of night,
'Too much too soon', they seem to cry,
Withering beneath the blinding light,

The clouds arrive to comfort them,
Too late; my garden's dying,
As I soothe it with regretful rain,
The satisfied sun is sighing.


Details | Rhyme | |

Smudge

A smudge on the mirror
Thats all I can see
I cant see the eyes staring back at me
My vision is blurred
My sight unclear
Why cant I see when I am so near
To the person on the other side
Still I cant see the tears she's cried
Before me the image is a lie
For it can only show the outside
Not the truth that's held inside
Behind the eyes that I cannot see
For the smudge is keeping it hidden from me


Details | Narrative | |

Up Late

-Inspired by my temporary English instructor, Mr. Phinizy <3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Evening had diminished to night; how very quickly did She fly It is funny how quickly time passes, as if our brains tweak the clocks of life The night was of moderate warmth, and my house suffered terribly still And with the stifling heat inside, many hot questions filtered through my mind I asked myself, Where did the summer go? Why must our suns die? Why is it sweltering in September? Why has sudden anger blown her aside? I really need some sleep, thought I, looking at my face through the murky glass Tracing dark circles under my eyes, I was reminded of sagging Death longing to ensnare me Yes, Death followed me that night, dwelling upon me, boiling away the autumn breeze As I looked into my sleep-deprived eyes, I knew Death waited for my ultimate slumber, When all commemoration of time, that flew so rapidly before, suddenly just…stops. With many a sigh, I turned on the faucet, soaking my hands in the cool, flowing water I needed some relief from the heat…I needed a refreshing new idea, I needed cleansing Anything to clear my mind of the negativity daring to break me every day of my life For such depressing thoughts spewed forth like a wild river, the rapids racking my brain But these waters were not living; they were dead and hot like blue blazes of hell I turned off the faucet, for there was no Balm on this earth to sooth this soul There was no clock on this earth tweaked enough to return me to earth The warm breezes, the sickly pale cast of many thoughts had driven Her away And though the everlasting sleep of Death sounded soothing, the Balm does not assuage me… It only burns forever, in obstinate constancy; angered to the core, That night stuck in this fractured rhyme of time, I was up late…too late


Details | Rhyme | |

The Numb

Please accept my apology,
 my life, 
has been more like,
 mythology...
 
Accept that, I do not understand;
 Accept, that I can no longer,
 play this hand...
 
Punish me, 
though, 
do not condemn me..
 
Allow me the light,
 Another chance;
 Different sight...
 
This myth that is I;
 This vision,
 I cannot hide..
 
Accept me as I come,
 Recycle me,;
 Take away,
 The Numb...


Details | I do not know? | |

Another Untitled

Life is so confusing, 
So tired of the hurting, 
So sick of the abusing, 
I so just feel like crying,
I wish that I could just,
End the pain and sorrow,
There's no one I can trust, 
And it won't get better tomorrow, 
I just don't understand why,
Though my life's been only bad, 
I always have to try, 
And I can never be mad, 
Everybody's hurt me, 
In one way or another, 
But I guess that I should see, 
That this pain will last forever, 
But still I must go on, 
Even though I do not want to, 
And I have to be strong, 
Even though I wish it were through!


Details | I do not know? | |

I pray to die

(This is a fictional poem)

I pray to God and beg him to let me die.
Life gets harder as each day goes by.
I fed a man some crab and he started getting ill.
He desperately needed to take some pills.
But he didn't have his pills on him and he died before the ambulance arrived.
It's my fault that he's no longer alive.
I didn't know that he was allergic to shellfish.
I keep begging for death but will God grant my wish?
I wish I would've told him it was crab before he ate it.
I'm responsible for his death and I hate it.
He was so young, he had just turned twenty-one.
I can't live with myself after what I've done.
People remind me that it was an accident and they say I shouldn't punish myself 
in this way.
But I will still beg to die when I pray.
Just two years earlier his wife gave birth to twins.
Because of me, they'll never see him again.
There hasn't been a day gone by that I haven't cried.
If God won't end my life, should I consider suicide?


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | Free verse | |

The Hardest Thing

Last night we had a quarrel
We went to bed so mad
Each had to get up early
The morning was quite sad
I never meant to say that
I know you didn’t, too
With hopes to reconcile
Just know that I love you

Yeah darling…
It couldn’t be more true

That’s why 
Leaving you
Is the hardest thing to do

Each morning when we go to work
A piece of me, it goes with you
I cannot wait to get back home
To do those things we do

That’s why 
Leaving you
Is the hardest thing to do

I hope tonight we’re civil
We listen and we learn
Together, we’ll get past this
Each others trust, we’ll earn
So, then we can retire
To the bedroom that we share
Lie within each others arms
And show how much we care

Yeah darling…
It couldn’t be more true

That’s why 
Leaving you
Is the hardest thing to do

Each morning when we go to work
A piece of me, it goes with you
I cannot wait to get back home
To do those things we do

That’s why 
Leaving you
Is the hardest thing to do

And when my work’s over
I will come back to you


Details | Free verse | |

The World We Live In

My heart aches for a world filled with peace, so much sadness and destruction,
I cannot take any more.
I get up in the morning and put a smile on my face,
I watch things on the news and I feel disgrace.
How can I smile when the grimness of life for others hurts me so much?
How can I eat my food and not feel guilty for the starving millions?
How can I waste water having a bath or a shower when others have no
clean water even to drink?
Dying of malnourishment and dying because of contaminated water,
All over the world this is happening to real human beings and what do I do?
Carry on as normal and put a smile on my face.
The children are crying, their parents are dying,
The Parents are crying, their children are dying,
But the world carries on as normal,
And I get up every morning and put a smile on my face.
Wars are raging everywhere, haunted faces staring “Why doesn't anyone care?”
Fear and terror is their living nightmare “Why doesn't anyone care?”
We care, but we choose to look away, “we're not affected” people say,
So we get up every morning, put a smile on our faces and get on with our day.


Details | Rhyme | |

The General's Speech

A young man watched open-mouthed, As he listened to the general's speech. Who spoke of pinnacles of bravery, That only a fearless man could reach. The young man was given a uniform, And a rifle placed into his hand. He proudly stood on the ship's deck, As it sailed to a foreign land. Lying in a trench covered in mud, He waited anxiously for the call. Thinking about going over the top, Where he would see the enemy fall. At last the captain gave the order, ‘Righto chaps do your best.’ The young man ran but 20 yards, Heedless of shells hitting his chest. His memories spilled onto the ground, Where his comrades were not far behind. They trampled his short life underfoot, Lost in the earth never to be found. The young man was laid beneath the grass, Where he used to run and play. On his old school's roll of honour board, Was added another young man’s name. A young man watched open-mouthed, As he listened to the general's speech.


Details | Ballade | |

In defense of the chook



The chook defense

Now I’m no vegetarian
Though I’d like that this could be
At seventy I’ll never change
So I’m just stuck with me
And I really love’s me chook
In every kind of way
But now I’m in the mood I’m in
I just have this to say…..

If we’re going to eat these chooks
Don’t we owe them some respect
We treat them like commodities
But what I might reflect
Is, if we treat these creatures thus
That God placed on this earth
Then we neglect our very souls
And too our own self worth.

Those birds are treated so damn mean
How can one understand
This cruelty, are we then humane?
It don’t look too damn grand
And where’s the goodness in a food
That’s never seen the sun
So when we treat these birds like this
What damage have we done?

That chicken flue was scary, once
But who knows much at all
About the karma that can come
From things, unnatural.
It’s time for changes in this world
When dosh is not the ‘all’
And then humane might be a word
That’s truly wonderful

10 July 2013 @ 1301hrs.



Details | I do not know? | |

It's Time

It's time.

The two times before
Were tests
To see if she could
Identify the moment
When she should leave.

It's time.

The words
Buzzed in her head
Over and over
As she tucked the last items
In the bag she had prepard.
A bag similar to the one
An expectant mother would have ready,
But she would never
Need that particular bag,
He made sure of that.

It's time.

It was 10am,
He had been gone
The better part of three hours.
The longest three hours of her life.
She waited patiently,
Just in case he came home
For some forgotten tool or document.

It's time.

She slipped out the back door
And scaled two neighbours' fences
Before entering the street.
With her hat pulled down low
She made her way to the bus station.
It was time to leave town.

It's time.

She bought a ticket to California,
Los Angeles to be specific.
She would become a lost angel
In the city of angels.

It's time.

As she waited for the bus,
She heard a car shrieking
To a stop outside.
She shrank into her seat,
But it was for nought,
As cruel hands
Pulled her from her seat.

It's time.

First came a slap,
Then another,
And by the time the ticket agent
Came out to pull him away from her
He was punching her.

It's time.

He shrugged off the agent
And ran to her,
But by that time 
She had pulled out
Her grandpappy's Smith & Wesson,
And with shaking hands
She lodged a bullet
In his heart.

It's time.

The gun was a present 
From her momma,
And from the day she got it
She practiced on old toys
Behind the abandoned toy factory.
She practice until it was time.
Today, the time came
And it tuly was time.

It's time
For her abusive husband to die.


Details | Rhyme | |

Flawless Wish

Written by D. W. Breidenthal 


You take my breath away

I wanna stay in this entrancing paradise
I want all of the negativity to fade away 
The darkness isn’t my property…I despise
Living a life that’s filled with misperception and disaster 

I would love to live in the ocean’s ecstasy 
That would be spectacular if we can abide in the sparkly sea

This eccentric dilemma makes your angelic features too unclear 
It chills me to the bone…
My heart pounds with hope and fear… when will peace draw near
This flawless wish remains unknown

The night’s approaching…seek shelter and light
Painstaking regrets – I can’t back away from gravity’s pull 
Hand me the rope and don’t bestow your burdens upon my soul 
Sift away the misfortune and allow me to put up with the fight
Help me fulfill my flawless wish
And I’ll strip away your anguish

You’re a burning candle
I raise my head up from the mud
I step forward with courage that I couldn’t handle 
On my own, but you stripped away the agony 
Watch us grow and sprout as one flower bud!

You took my heart to a wonderful place
I wanna desert this decaying body of mine and seek you in splendid light
You forgave me for my wrongs…you thrilled me with praise 
I wanna embrace the dawn’s incredible, appealing light...
Sweeping away the deploring night  

It soothes my sensitive heart…dismissing my vexing misery  

I have the urge to repaint the breathtaking memories I’ve spent with you
Will it scratch away the sorrow?
I have to search for shelter and burn away our calamity – slaying us with rue
 
Will my flawless wish store hope for tomorrow? 


Details | Couplet | |

Rammed Into The Weedbed

Rammed into the weedbed she found her way to shore.
Her thoughts invaded by her crew who shifted on her boards.
Back across the water; her visions through a door.
One that shut repeatedly when shipmates pulled her chords.
Resting now as though a chore
that sailors leave like lords.
Down the boardwalk from the floor
relieving her in hoards.
Maiden ship from head to core
who's damage comes in torrids
Without these journeys and your lore
these men would have no swords.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Memory For Which You Cannot Forget


And from the battlefield so does he emerge.
Beaten blood stains his memories.
Such beathy in destruction apon the devils backbone
such powers converge.

Bodies gather tossed into a heap.
he's silent even in his thoughts.
For the madness to one's self is better to keep.

Dying moments at a time.
the field may change death is the same.
Where humans are numbers with a toll
up the ladder he does climb.

The honest view over shadows the 
ignorant few.
Tortured are the memories trapped inside.
Cold steel to which tonight he does confide.

Blood stainded bages how they do gleam.
After years of the twisted vision.
No side has to be right it does seem.

The blood is embedded in his very soul.
No matter the side.
The the memorie alone takes it's toll.    
 
Often we recall alone we regret.
nightmares creep into are waking hours.
So is the victem of the memory forwhich you cannot forget.


Details | Couplet | |

A Cowboy Is

The movements of others to far away lands
Drifted into American folklore, within histories hands

Fur trappers they started many centuries ago
In a country to become as the years truly flowed

Centennial by centennial, amidst wars between they
Slowly they emerged into cattle driven play

The vast expanses of prairies so green
Lured Barons of the beast to their riches they always dreamed

Herds in vast amounts recreating the Bison's exist
Where they eventually replaced in numbers, in numerous consist

The eventuality of the Iron Horse, opened these lands up even more
Sheridan, White Oaks even Tombstone, led to street filled open sores

The James Gang and William Bonney, are two that history has shown
No care for what they declared that the Wild West was their throne

The sad thing about the cowboy era, is in the scenery that was left behind
On many a prairie from their past, where greed has left them so blind

We have the opportunity to look back and rewind, for hindsight allows us to do
So many were never ever heroes, just what do we find in them so true

Just for a moment to the future, whilst countries in our time have been invaded
They are the modern Indigenous, like the past, the cowboys left degraded

The above are written from my heart, if you know me you will know me to be true
For if I was born to the Indigenous, to your ancestors, I'd stand in front of you





Details | Lyric | |

Interlude for In The Pines

She came from the village
One day's ride from here.
Though I'd  only met her but the once,
She's stood in a corner of my memories
All down these many years.

She had that Fugitive look about her-
Eyes like a wary fox.
She would not add nor take from what she'd told me;
Her heart was full of locks.


Details | I do not know? | |

goodbye

my life is turnd inside out
i cant take much more thats no doubt
i cut my wrists just to feel the pain
even tho i have nothing good to gain
this hopless life of misery
will surly be the end of me
i breath but im not truly alive
the noise in my head like a buzzing bee hive
i walk and talk but im dead inside
its just like internal suicide
i toss and turn but i cannot sleep
my blackend souls getting harder to keep
the smile you see on my face
is just a fake look to hide disgrace
im broken and hurt but no one cares
its like im being ripped apart by bears
so i sit and write here on my wrist
with a razor blade and a bloody twist
hoping one day itll help you see
how much pain is inside of me
when i say im ok just go away
i want you to say no i want to stay
well its to late now my wrist are slit
so here i am alone i sit
and wait for death to take me to
im sorry love for iv failed you


Details | Ballad | |

Deirdre

 
Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? I can sence her embrace that feels like Tragedy A heart to have, slipped beneath the waves The dark pulse now beckons us closer How many days will this passion bleed away? We will be the ones left to blame Beware we’ve become their prey They say you’re addicted to your pain A lifeless cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper too close to the edge A call from the dark Brings out a saving spark An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? “My Decadence was just for you Though you’d never care what I’ve been through Enter the world were empathy is clandestine A world created by you, just for me What’s Lying in my heart is why You want to through the stone” I call your name towards nightfall’s reign But they take you so far away A dark angel so divine Cursed by Eden’s heart I will avenge every tear An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone?


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Letter to bereaved ones

         I beg your forgiveness for I am not long for this world. Happenstance has led me down this path so crooked and forlorn. Misery has preceded my path and darkened my senses all but torn. Mistakes have illuminated my way though their light be a fallacy; an illusion to comfort a tortured mind, riddled with confusion and false fancy. ‘Tis only just to forgive me sisters, I am not long for this world. 

          An image wreaks havoc with my memory. A picture so horrendous the effects of its trauma echo through the hallways of time. The sight that for all my life I was so grateful to possess, leads me now to curse what gods may be that granted it me. For surely had I never seen the sight of him, cold and lifeless, I would have eventually endeavoured to be healed in my spirit. The fault is mine; it was never him but I that had the capacity to change. ‘Tis only right to forgive me father, I am not long for this world. 

       My middle name should rather have been disappointment. That is all I have ever delivered to her who brought me into the world and nurtured an infant into a lady. I call her Gaia, that is her spirit name.  My existence has put lines on her face prematurely and caused her to despair time and time again. The audacity of me now to leave this earth without ever having produced for her a grandchild. The insolence of leaving only words to counter the preponderance of condolences from rejoicing enemies that shall now assail and abuse her. My soul is repentant, twas never the intent to hurt your heart dear Gaia. ; Tis only compassionate to forgive me mother, I am not long for this world. 

       As for the empty future that awaits me. No children to carry on the memory of me. No great achievements to render my life the content of legend. No great works to immortalise me in poem and prose. No others to mourn the passing of a life most unremarkable. Nothing but things, regrettable decisions, words left unsaid and the cold sound of silence to mark that most auspicious event. Death finds me waiting and unafraid with only the last words to pass from these lips; ‘tis only fair to forgive me self, for we are not long for this world.


Details | Free verse | |

Little Child

Little girl
tuck in tight
and don't worry
that man's not going to come to say goodnight
he's not coming 
because we sent him away
for what he did 
day after day.

Little boy
hold your teddy tightly
and sleep easy 
because we've taken him far from you
he won't be back 
to do that to you again
sleep safely now
it's finally ended.

Little child
sorry for not coming sooner
for being deaf, dumb and blind
for not seeing, hearing, fearing the signs
sorry for the years you lost
your innocence
and so much more.

Little girl, Little boy, Little child
no apology can ever be enough
will try our best 
to try harder next time
but at least you can sleep safe 
whilst the next child lies frightened tonight.


Details | Rhyme | |

All I See

They say there's a light,
But all I see is the night.


Details | Chant Royal | |

UNFORTUNATE LOVE

UNFORTUNATE LOVE
Once more it's morning and I greet the dawn,
waking to feelings I've known,
breathing the fragrance that's lingering on
throughout a lifetime alone;

splinters of sunshine are drifting through blinds,
revealing dust I breathe in,
dancing through flashes, and somehow reminds
of things that never have been;

I hear a song and it's what I've dreamed of,
outside my window they mourn,
I'd face the morning, but I need a shove,
for this poor heart badly torn;

unfortunate dove, why is it you sing,
outside my window each day?
It's a reminder of what life won't bring,
mourning dove, don't fly away;

once more it's morning and I hear the dove
all of my life is a sin,
it's just the way of unfortunate love,
but I still dream now and then.
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa


Details | Bio | |

Arizona Heat

Arizona Heat, packing it hard
Deeper then the deepest Chocolate Windows 
Framed by long lashes, ebony compassions
Dying souls oppressed by more than the hotness of the night
Mocha Skin in Summertime
Let’s Roll
Impala,  Hydro, wood grain and leather
Hot, baby, Bump it louder
Stolen speakers bump it best
West Coast, East Coast, Southwest
Greenback, wetback 
Brown on Brown
Murder, it’s a homicide
Of the cruelest kind

Dark Reactions
Light is no longer required here
One cannot see what isn’t supposed to be seen
Here on the borders of AZ, the grim reaper
Reaps openly
Fluctuating from victim to victim
Cherry Red Silvery distain
Drips from guns

			Bang, Bang, Bang

Pull the Trigger 
Drugs are no longer sins but saviors
Sell them, deal it
Steal it all
Survival Of The Fittest

Mm, it’s hot, so hot, hot
Steamy sweaty Sin
Sultry music, sexy women
Tequila, Tecate, Paradise for some
The Heat doesn’t come from the sun
But the struggle to stay alive 
To survive, and thrive
Breathe
Every Pancho Villa needs a Lady by their side
Right? Dolled up, complexion perfect 
Hyna, Ruka, Sweet Vixen, Mami Sexy, hit it and quit it, baby

He grabs my chin
Blowing into my face, scent,  full of toxic fumes
Drunk off victory from this week’s dealings 

“Money is my first love, not you, she made me RICH
So get the hell away from me, trick”

Plunges into my chest
His heart, belongs, to no one
But success 
Cold steel, cold hearts, cold money
That’s all he wants, honey
The hottest thing is the tears burning down my cheeks
Weak, suppressed, the insides of me
Tearing down
I need to find a way..out
without..him

Hustling my own
using my own
devices to succeed
My soul, heedless, shall always belong
To what shaped my tough skin
Intimate Beginnings

I belong

To the Arizona Heat 


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Portrait In Indigo -She Dreamed Of Icarus

                                                                 **~~**

She seemed to be like a delicate portrait
   which had fallen from its gilded frame 
Abandoned, lying face down on the cold winter floor
   An elegant portrait once painted
In resplendent hues of indigo blue 
Her eyes told a story of bittersweet 
   magenta colored sorrows bathed in tears
that etched themselves throughout
   The frail intricately, woven canvas of her soul 

Over time thoughtless hands had subtly 
   Contrived to manipulate the beauty 
Of her painted portrait into a resemblance 
   Likened to that of a cold, chiseled statue 
Carelessly molded by calloused fingers
   Lancinating the fragile fragments 
Of her spirit leaving her heart
   With etiolated worn fabric - called her life
 
She dreamed of Icarus soaring down
    on silvery wings of steel shrouded 
in cobalt and lavender clouds
    with outstretched, feathery fingers
lifting her up to dance a Stravinsky ballet
    As it was meant to be - not how it was 

She was a beautiful, fragile butterfly 
    bruised by a world much too harsh 
for her diminished spirit 
    leaving her unable to fly away
 from the skis thirsty rains 
    making it difficult for her to fly away
 from the skis thirsty rains
    It left her struggling to stay afloat
 In the springs melting snow 

Life had bruised her tender skin
   Gnawing away like insatiable insects 
On her delicate pink frescoed soul
   Leaving her feeling 
Like a fabricated manikin on display
   For all to pose her as they may

 Muddied soil was the blood that coursed 
  through her veins, holding her tethered heart 
in fleshy, mounds of chocolate brown earth 
  It held her helpless in its hold 
clogged by the silt which descended down 
  Into spaces of her soul…
Like murky strings of yellow tattered maize
  Leaving their ragged tassels tangled
Throughout her life flowing veins 
  Choking off the blood she needed
To nourish her hungry heart 

Mighty winds toppled her willowy limber tree
  Snapping the delicate boughs
Of her outstretched arms 
  As they pulled at the tender fleshy bark of her skin 

She stood cold and alone 
  In the icy winter night wrapped 
Only in her wounded, naked flesh
  With open, bleeding wounds 
Under the icy blue mist of the winter moon
Her heart and soul painfully revealed...
   In shades of indigo blue

                                                                     **~~**


Details | Blank verse | |

Portrait of a Sad Man

A lame wolf, weathered by neglect and time
Howling questions, pelted like throwing stones
Melting away like mountain snow
Abandoned by people wearing laughter on their skin
Monstrous faces masked with smiles false
Wondering at his mistakes, a life lost
He drip drop drips deep into the ground




For my father, who can at times be a sad man.

Chynna Bear
A Short Poem, Please


Details | Lyric | |

End It

End It
By: IzaDonna

My demons crouch real low
Seeping out of me real slow
The pain protectively covered
Darkening memories like no other
But I hide behind a smile
This life not seeming worth while
The blade I have is ready to go
Life already being at an all time low
So bring on the darkness
i no longer have a purpose

Chorus
I push you away to protect you
My sickness n pain being nothing new
So save yourself from my sorrow
Cause I won't live to see tomorrow
You deserve someone better
So let me be and go find her

Loneliness is my own choice
Feeling so lost with no voice
So I let each day slip by
Everyday just wanting to die
What have I become
Where did all this pain come from
Being left alone is my desire
The spark going out in my fire
My days I feel are at an end
Too far gone to possibly mend

Chorus

So bring on the darkness
I've lost my purpose


Details | Ballad | |

Election day

Election Day

Last week was our election
It’s been going on for weeks
From the space where I was standing
It all looked kind of bleak
The chance of labor leaders
Getting the ruling hand
There’d been some inside fighting
They weren’t looking too grand.

But when I thought about it
It didn’t really matter
All these fools, it seems to me
Are only noisy chatter
They promise this, they promise that
And then what do they do?
Nothing, absolutely naught
They say is ever true?

So anyway I was lucky
What by accident, I done
Was muck up on the valet sheet
I failed on every one
Of those boring little boxes
That were staring up at me
But I really did not want to vote
So it was meant to be.

11 September 2013@1720hrs.



Details | Rhyme | |

Denial

Blindly given a part solely mine
Caress of promises fleetingly sublime

No crevice untouched, valley of mounds
Shadow warnings by release of sounds

A single illusion of two made whole
Broken pieces of one innocent soul

Hands slither to corrupt with poison
Ruins the flesh for his own reason

Barren exposed, no longer a use
Foolish girl, never to be a muse


Details | Verse | |

Haggard Delusions

Save me your lies, just spare me the time
Beginnings and endings now hard to define
Greying and hazy, the edges have blurred
A hollow abyss but I'll never learn

No places to hide or discard this regret
No matter how dirty I'm willing to get
Haggard delusions of honeymoon bliss
Rasping last breaths through lifeless blue lips

Calloused,controlled, bloodied and bruised
I've a heart and a soul that I'm learning to use
I hate how I wait, standing in line
Parading and flaunting your evil designs

Yet still, you abuse once my senses are dead
I can't feel the beat so i claw at my chest
To check I still function, I'm being, I fight
To de-humanise me will come at a price

17th May 2011


Details | Senryu | |

The Kids of Divorce

Mom and Dad divorce; the kids are damaged for life; but some are relieved.


Details | Free verse | |

Katrina

She absorbs the light from the room
although she barely says a word
I watch her sit within her struggled thoughts
she desires to control the insignificant
a world of rules
paint by number probabilities

She paints pictures of food she does't dare eat
as her skin hangs loosely from skeletal arms
I wonder if she exists beyond her edges
beyond her life of privilege 

Does she retain any of the absorbed light?
is there any joy within her angles?
has there ever been any exuberance,
or has she been born into this sadness?

I wander along her borders
kept at a distance by barbed wire
the gates of her mind
Closed
Fortified
Welded shut

So I turn
walk away
thankfully sad 
I didn't enter her darkness

For I fear
I too may have been absorbed









Details | I do not know? | |

Concluding Statement

My distraught, the thought, has lost a battle unforgot. 
I take, I give, the very words I live.
I've done, The sun, outrunning the only one. 

My actions are not my own, a story, I've stitched, I've sewn. 
I wait, I learn, my destiny turning to fate, I cannot see in my current state. 
The pain is neigh, a calder or a bite, my fatigue outweighs my might. 

Crowned, sound, the darkness reaks no havok. And atop I take the stand. 
Demand, reprimand, the status of your rendzevous. 
The story's conclusion, I cannot seem...
to find the tragic end to...


Details | I do not know? | |

Empty Words

Trust, that painful word without meaning,
Trust a Father, he hurts you, 
Trust a friend, they desert you.
Promise, that pointless word never kept,
Promise you'll always be there, you won't, 
Promise you'll not say a word, you will.
Believe, that greedy word that everyone wants, 
Believe in family, they split up,
Believe in in God, he ignores your cries for help.
Love, the worst word, never practiced,
Love life, it becomes a curse, 
Love anyone, they leave you, hurt you, or worse. 
I trust only one, a sister to me, 
I promise, but don't often keep, 
I know not what I believe,
I love cautiously!


Details | Blank verse | |

Winter

Even now I blink as the hopes
Flutter past, away from me,
Wintry gusts pull the early dark in,
No arms around me as the
Heavy skies throw the chills at me,
Making me ill.


Details | Blank verse | |

Today

The creative course of love runs through the veins
By God, it has enveloped my very life in faint luster
It is now an illusion I have mastered and made real
There will be no lies written on my depleting heart
For Doubt was there masked inside the vibrant ball
All told her it was to be a masquerade, and she fell
Yes! Doubt fell into an illusion of trust and feral light
She locked herself away for good that doleful night    
While all danced and were joyous in lore and drink
Doubt turned her head to the door of blissful night 
And she never looked back; not for a slight moment

Furtively their love grew as vines entwining sea green
Ballets flared inside menace and ghoulish, garish glee
Lonely larks will always sing as far as the eye can see
But Doubt in its dark sings beyond what is you or me
I am in love with her; she is life and something new
And I cringe to speak the truth; oh clandestine mind!   
Yes, it was I who had invited Doubt to the vibrant ball
And it was there, without notice, she fell in my arms
In an unforgiving, comatose faint—a revolutionary state
Her face to the door, bleeding black and nothing more
The last moment I stared into her bleak, pale features

Doubt's masquerade I had mastered had at last begun!
The crowd swelling all around me, all in dark costume
Oh, God knew it was only a guiltless, simple gathering
But here they remained—the DEMONS ever smothering
The faces were cruel and their camouflage unforgiving
Doubt had now left me writhing, splitting, crying—LIVING 
As crowds danced around my uncovered, sniveling face
The spineless love of my life gone now without a trace
There no drink to drown away the ever-placed sorrow
There no high hopes of inevitable, hopeful tomorrow
There is only today—and today I cruelly, drolly LOVE


Details | I do not know? | |

Whispers In A Cursing Wind

Whispers in a cursing wind
Anger in stormy skies
Rain falling like mournful tears
Fear in the heart
Panic and torment
in the mind.

Peter Dome.Copyright.2012.


Details | Rhyme royal | |

I miss You

Even though you’re gone for a year now, I dream every night of running into you,
I wish there was something like a friendship subscription that I could renew
I miss talking dirty, I miss acting flirty, for around you I was always very perky,
We weren't friends, we weren't more, bond we shared was anything but quirky
I’d come alive thinking about us, your bad boyish charm had gotten to me very strong,
Winking slyly you’d talk about guitar, other chicks, fantasies and I gladly played along
Gradually you aroused desire in me, you too said, to me you were physically drawn
You would readily take your chances whenever we met, a tight hug, a gentle brush
I’d get overwhelmed with feelings; I was convinced you were more than a stupid crush

Even though you weren't in love, you said you were attracted, u didn't know why
Like a hopeless romantic, I was all set to take the plunge hoping you’d come by   
Visiting me on your last day in town, you came close and I could feel your heart race
You made me sit on your lap and for a moment you did nothing but blissfully gaze
Already stunned by the move, I felt number as I saw this naughty twinkle in your eyes, 
You leaned and kissed, damn I thought what if I am no good, all I could feel was butterflies
I was cold, clueless it was my first time, I panicked thinking you wouldn't take it all right 
Talking about it was way easier so you were led on, but now you thought I was acting uptight
Helplessly I watched you let go of me, I wish I could express how lost I felt since then
Without saying much you withdrew realizing little how much on you I’d come to depend 

Even though you didn't take the high road, I still wish I could recreate the setting,
Live up to your expectations, go wild doing all things you had in mind without fretting 
For we were Best friends for 5 years, I genuinely hoped you’d give me another chance
Be by my side & tenderly make love to me, besides singing as we do some dirty dance
Reality struck me soon, as days passed no call, no message, you were no longer keen   Cuz you buried all the feelings, totally unfazed, and brought another girl into the scene

Even though I am finding it hard to get closure, I wish she loves you best in every way
As for me, I just pray our fond memories together keep me going through the day!


Details | Verse | |

Darkness

Darkness is like my mirror Shattered like blackened glass Reflecting broken bits of me As hours, days and years go past Darkness is like a fiery mess Endless, cold and without mercy Coals and ashes, shriveled up Tomorrow remains unseen Light seems to burn my world From the dullest of all dull candles Like touching a golden ember Its splendour you cannot handle Darkness is a force of life The only one I’ve ever known I’m scared of what I do not know And what I do not understand Darkness is like an old friend Lingering, forever remembered The darkest of all my days were bright From you my light emerged I cannot think of a time well spent That didn’t include you in it A world so unforgiving One in which we did not fit Darkness is a battle Not to be won but only to lose You fight for everything you love And get defeated at the time they choose Darkness is a house Standing alone and desolate No one wants to live there Doing so fills them with hate Blackness is a colour A shade of the darkest emotion The feeling you get when you feel empty Just going through the motions Black is endless and cold And all I’ve ever known But I cannot tear myself away For fond of it I’ve grown


Details | I do not know? | |

I Cried Today

I Cried Today

I am thirteen today
You would think I would be happy
Yet it is hard to even crack a smile
With everyone wishing me a Happy Birthday
To me it’s not that happy
As today strange voices carrying on inside me
They say I don’t deserve to live 
They say I should die
I am thirteen and 

I Cried Today

My sweet sixteen isn’t so sweet
I just want to hide
Go back to sleep 
Or simply disappear
What is a girl to do? 
When she feels so sad, lonely and depressed
I don’t even have anyone to turn to
I am sixteen and 

I Cried Today

Today I am nineteen 
It is my graduation day
And while I am smiling on the outside 
I feel like I am crumbling on the inside
Those voices don’t give 
Never a break 
No rest for the wicked they say
I am nineteen and 

Today I Cried

I am twenty-one 
No drinking for me 
I am in a hospital as my first sip was almost my last
Who knew I could be so allergic
I am twenty-one
In a hospital and 

I Cried Today

I am twenty-five 
I thought I was in love 
Until I walked in on my fiancé 
In bed with my best friend
My heart feels so cold
I am so alone 
As my world has just turned upside down 
I am twenty-five and 

I Cried Today

I am thirty
I am working hard
To get back my life 
Take control of my future 
And actually see the possibilities of a tomorrow
It is a lot of work 
With a hard road ahead
I am Thirty 

I Never Cried Today

I am thirty-four
In a few short months I will be thirty-five 
I am not alone 
I realize I never was
Surrounded by people I love
People who love me
Married to the love of my life
My dreams are coming true
I feel so happy 
I am almost thirty-five and 

I Smiled Today

By: Jean Shular


Details | Free verse | |

Shoved to shake me

So stellar you stood nearing immortality 
Shoved me away today, I'm only a calamity 

Strengthen the brain before and again
Take the comfort level down to a chagrin

Dwindle my emotions on love today
To be stoned away from you is my pay

Where you are is mine only to wonder
Would you even mind if I were to ponder

I'm so bent up, straighten me out now
It hurts to be only this for you now

Take it all away in all your ways
I'll be here apparently for a few more days

I can give you anguished attention
This you will ignore during our loving detention

So stellar you stood nearing immortality
Shoved me away today, I'm only a calamity  


Details | Rhyme | |

The worst morning after

The worst morning after


One bottle and half of brandy gone
And my, how I did carry on
The morning after, goodness me!
I was a just heap of misery

The wife, she left me in the car
I think she thought I'd gone too far!!
She really had no sympathy
And made me clean up after me

My head was twirling round and round
Oh, what Karma I had found
My neck, my head, my everything
Oh what pain this morn did bring

For two whole days this lasted for
I said I’d never drink no more
That was so many years ago
And drinking booze is still a  'no!!’.

19 July 2013 @ 0450hrs.


Details | Blank verse | |

Without You

I’ve thought this through,
I’ve decided to find someone better than you.

I know we’re through,
I realize our love was not true.

I am ready to follow on through,
I finally choose to move on without you.


Details | Free verse | |

Not Even Death Could Swoon Him

Living to love?
Stab me swiftly
In the heart. Where
He watches as its
Red empties
Itself.

The meat tastes like pity.
So he smiles at me with pity,
Holds my hand with pity.
I am his,
In pity.

Enough.

A past perpetuating pity
Has no future for a love.
Remove His scythe.
And the fool, one day, will restore
Until I hurt for his love, once more.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Girl Who Could Never Understand

There was a girl so free and young;
untouched by the darkness she was yet to become.
Not yet grown up but wishing she would.
She didn’t realise it would make her numb

There was a girl who dreamed of the future,
who wished of being smart, pretty and free.
She told herself it take years to understand,
When it actually only took three.

There was a girl who became obsessed
with things such as looks and grades.
Every time she ‘messed up’ her confidence slipped:
until someone told her about a blade

There was a girl who was once so innocent,
never before heard of self-harm,
but suddenly she knew how to cope!
All she had to do was cut her arm.

There was a girl who was dead inside-
Not understanding the darkness she had become.
She grew up too fast just like she wished:
Now she’s dead because she felt too numb.


Details | Lyric | |

Loves Dream

Do you ever think of us
And wonder what went wrong
Are you in anothers arms
But feel you don’t belong
Was I someone special
Am I ever on your mind
Am I in your memories still
Or was I left behind
We almost had it all
I thought we’d make it all the way
But someone else’s hold on you
Just wouldn’t let you stay
I was the other woman
Always waiting by the phone
The one who always had to hide
Who spent her nights alone
My time with you was not enough
But still I can’t forget
For you will always be the love
I never will regret
Sometimes I still cry
For wondering where we went so wrong
But still I have this dream of you and I
That keeps me strong
That we share one more precious day
The way we used to know
And when I hold you in my arms
I’ll never let you go
And if this never happens
If my dream does not come true
These words I’ve never spoken
I now want to say to you
You’ll always be the one thing in my life
That was so real
I loved you then, I love you now
And I know I always will.


By Raina Hutchins



Details | Verse | |

A Cigarette To Missing You

My cigarette is burning in the ashtray
I'm trying but I can't sleep
There are too many things on my mind
How do you do this to me
Another long drag on that cigarette
But all my nerves do is race
Now I'm searching all my memories
Just looking for your face
The cherry of this cigarette
Burns so bright as your eyes
'Marlboro' printed on that white paper
Reminds me of your well thought out lies
I take another drag that comes so close to the filter
The smoke drifts away like my dreams
This burning ember is stanched out in the ashtray
Like my hopes for you and me


Details | Free verse | |

A Crystal that Darkens

Winter is also celibate.  The conscience is moving,
A frozen light in a frozen eye.  It's raining much looser,
Down a ripped tree.  I couldn't have, 
I couldn't have, in this sin-sick tenderness.
              ___

My face is cracked in my fawnlike fingers;
And the nose betrays an inner child, who
Wouldn't listen to sparrows about being catched.
I just insisted fur was wings.
              ___

The feminine chill on the palm must be sorrow;
When I think of church bells, or mother- 
That I am haunting as raw love.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Chiming Winter

She breathes a white mist. Her soul shivered,
Her heart now dissipates on ice.
The snow falls silent, a note unheard.
Belief falters of the Jesus Christ.
It's hot; The salty beads tease her
But her cares are frozen still.
Her naivete of life has dispersed;
In a soundless second, her hope is killed.

The colours are raw.

It is winter now where it was summer then.
Her face is dead. Covered in frost.
She cursed her flaws in heat, now winter made its descent.
The cold wind blows colder,
Her aspirations gone dead pale.
What she feared most held onto her
The ice consumes her warmth; a freezing veil.

"Jesus...why Jesus?"

The sweat is overpowering.
Between her legs dries under the sun.
She hears the melody of his belt singing.
Her scream doesn't bother...her reality cannot be undone.

"Why me Lord? Why me who never sins?"
Silence. It could have been worsened.
Praise be to Him that your life is now ruined
Instead of it stripped away and taken.

Praise be to God for He is good.


Details | Free verse | |

Scars of an Inner Child

You are not the man, you want to be
You said you were my Father, till, I discovered different
Enduring, daily beatings
Bashing the living day lights, out of a woman and a child
Repetitive, bad ass attitude, nasty streak
Mean and aggressive!
Fists, knives and guns, your weapons of chose
Out of control, abusive, devious
Relentless, over – bearing!
Breaking me, piece by piece
Confusing a child, with unhealthy love
Hand fed your bullshit, brain washed
Using me as your human, punching bag
This innocent child’s blood, staining your callas hands
My child’s curiosity, asking you one day
“Why do you hurt me and Mum?”
Your retort: “I am not your blood!”
I didn't understand, back then
Now, as an adult, I clearly understand!
Believe me, when I say
There was never a day that went past
That you didn't remind me of that!
My freedom, restrained
My sanity, tested
Caged, like a wild bird in captivity
Behind bars, looking out
 Here, I am today, free from your grip
Nursing, this inner child’s, bleeding love


Details | Haiku | |

a relived stroll

a relived stroll down a creaky wooden walk… screams of hatred
Russell Sivey


Details | Haiku | |

Blind

On the Lonely Hill
Many come, often so sad
Side by side, still alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Words No One Hears

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

~JSLambert


Details | Imagism | |

I'm Always Around

I'm Always Around
by BJ Welsh

I'm not near, but I'm really not so far
If you look up I'll be the brightest star
Looking down upon God's project earth
Watching and waiting for a rebirth
When you speak I will always listen
My points will seem to shine and glisten
Giving you guidance when things seem tough
Steady now it may be rough
When we meet again someday
Be it there or far away

I'm here for now and always will
Never escaping, did you feel that chill?
My spirit wind brushed by your side
Or the soft, gentle wave pushed by the sea tide
When we meet again someday
Be it there or far away

You've given me hope and reason to breath
It's not yet time for me to leave
I'm that fluttering seagull upon the sands
Maybe I'm the reason for you to dance
When we meet again someday
Be it near or far away






Details | Free verse | |

My cobain smile

I want to drown my urge to die
I want to kill my pulse inside
I can't breathe, I'm paranoid
Everything in life I avoid

Don't speak to me, I'll look away
Inside my eyes is just decay
 I'm already dead, but have yet to die
Why do I keep my body alive

My soul is dead, eyes are lies
So is the smile I hide behind
Pull the plug, I'm a fake
In a nightmare and I cannot wake

Drown me! I'm flooded in pain
Please help me regain
Some peace, some rest 
I want to die to live again

Set me free 
Slitting my wrists isn't working
The more stares I get
The more I become numb
I just need to be gone
Eliminate my pain, 
I'm already out of breath 
Suffocating on my hopelessness

Every day I am alive 
But I'm craving to die inside
Curved smile because your so naive
You think I'm happy 
Yet I'm being crushed
My head is overflowing 
With these thoughts that are too much

One word, suicide
Sparks a light inside of my eyes

I don't want to pretend to live
Let me go, flood me in sin
There is where I want to swim
Six feet under the ground

Don't be selfish 
And keep me in pain
To tourture my lifeless body again
Let my body float soundly
Rushing water, ocean salt
I promise I won't feel it at all.

End it, hold me under 
Then bury me so I can slumber
Goodbye lifeless eyes
As I'm dying I'll be coming alive
Haunting images 
Deleted from my mind
Laughing 
As I leave this world behind

Water 
Floods my lungs 
Death 
Leans in for a kiss

Together we sink into insanity
And drown in infinitys abyss. 


Details | I do not know? | |

inner thoughts...

shadows swam amounst the human heart,
dead to the owner that life has broken apart,
guilt, pain, hate, confusion, doubt,
insanity thrives and exploides to a shout.
boils within the humans inner being,
takes hold of itself and crushes every feeling,
lethal anguish waiting for the pain,
the emptiness thats left will drive you insane.
truth was a lie, and so was love,
a sickening debt to go up above,
forsaken world that forsaken me,
something that killed everything in me.
uncertainty lies within the heart
was always there from the start,
the mind was twisted...was always so,
captivity as it tormented my very soul,
unlocking pain, hate, doubt and shame,
the depressed soul needs to be contained.


Details | Haiku | |

Absence

Love sometimes remains 
Like a fierce pain in a limb
 Severed long ago



Published in the 2012 - Spring Issue of " Paper Wasp"- An Australian journal of Haiku.


Details | Rhyme | |

Light Pt.1

A day or work
A day of chore
A day of want
A day of bore

The day I ran
This day I can
The sky then clear
to light so dear

Routine broken (with)
Every word spoken

Then the light faded
then I went jaded
then around friends
gossip was elated

That day has ended
All actions are suspended

No method of contact
No method to act
No way to find the light
The light has lost my sight
(I have been disconnected)


Details | Free verse | |

Protect and Serve?

Unprovoked attacks
Death screams from the hearts of the innocent
A child's last breath
Lies in your arms
Raise your weapon
For the sickness f****ing your mind
Protect and serve?
F*** that, let's massacre them all
Let's burn and pillage 
This family's home and make them watch
Piss in this man's hands
And spit at his feet
Let bullets rain on his chest
So his children see
Protect and serve?
Intimidate and rape
They fear your "help"
And comply with tears in their eyes
And a gun to their temple
Dirt on their knees, in a pool of their father's blood
Protect and serve?
I think not.


*About a news report I recently saw, about U.S. soldiers killing innocent civilians for
sport. (This has been going on since there has ever been wars, it's not a new issue.) They
blamed it on being in a drug-induced state of mind, and on seeing disturbing images of
warfare. We debated in my class whether or not this type of murder can be justified. I
argued strongly and loudly that NO traumatization or drugged mind is a just reason to
murder and torture innocent people. The U.S. military is here to PROTECT and SERVE all
people. Does this sound like protection to you?


Details | Lyric | |

Sweet Seduction

[Verse 1]

My blood is ice inside your veins
Crawling underneath my skin
The price we pay to earn that name
The battle that we never win
Falling faster far below
Further into darkest depths
The kiss of death that you bestow
The poison that is on your…lips

[Chorus]

Sweet seduction
Drug addiction
Words that only he can mend
Sweet seduction
My affliction
Rise to only meet the end

[Verse 2-change]

Your thoughts they plant a grave in me
Like missiles shooting through the skies
The pain you watch but never see
Crystals falling from my eyes
Your words they feel like razor blades
Your touch like acid on the skin
Your love this agonizing pain
The battle that I’ll never…win

[Chorus]

[Breakthrough]
Swallowed up by
Sounds of screaming
Asking questions
Without meaning
Fall away…
FADE AWAY!!!!

[Chorus]
Sweet seduction
Drug addiction
Words that only he can mend
Your destruction
My affliction
Rise to only meet the end

The end…


Details | Ballad | |

I'll Never Get Over You

If only I had seen it coming 
But I never knew
The day before you left me
I had one more day with you
If only I could turn back time
And bring back yesterday
If only I could tell you
All the things I need to say
If only I could hold you close
And kiss you just once more
If only I could see you smile 
As you walk through that door
Walking down this lonely road
Lost, alone and sad
Holding onto memories and dreams 
That we once had
I need you here to guide me 
For I know I’ll lose my way
Without you I’ll crumble 
Without you I’m not ok
I still don’t understand the reason 
Why you had to leave
I don’t know how to deal with this
I don’t know how to grieve
Looking in the mirror
I still see you in my eyes
And always I will love you
Because true love never dies
Everything I feel inside
Gets stronger everyday
The love that’s in my heart for you
Will never fade away
Everything we shared
And all the memories made together
Will live within my heart and soul
They'll stay with me forever
As long as there is night and day
As long as skies are blue
As long as stars still shine so bright 
I’ll never get over you...



By Raina Hutchins


Details | Blank verse | |

Fading

For this, my darling, I swear you're to blame,
Gave you a last chance and you didn't even notice,
I turn my back on the magic, already started to fade,
I take back all the kisses, the embraces come back and
Warm my lonely arms. Swallow all my words and
Choke up yours, brush off every touch then soon
Forget your voice. Couldn't care how you style your hair,
Whether you choke on the spray, if someone else
Curls up with you and pulls it all out of place.

I'll walk the journey alone, pass by your house, sun
Piercing me as it leaps from your window, makes me
Frown. For all the weeks and months you've made
Excuses I think I can manage by myself, can do a 
Better job than you. Could do it without cutting people
Out of my life.

Should I see you in the street then I know what to do,
Stroll right on by, too busy to speak to you, no room to
Fit you in. Won't reply if you say hello, just wander home, my
Red glazed eyes proof I'm over you.

Hadn't time in your life for me yesterday,
Just gave me more time to run away.


Details | Rhyme | |

Loneliness

Sometimes I can't tell what is real,
For nothing does darkness reveal,
So 'til my vile veins will heal,
The loneliness is all I feel.


Details | I do not know? | |

Wrong Hands

Gun in nightstand
Drawer slowly opened
Homeowners demise


Details | I do not know? | |

Broken Heart Debate

We can barter the broken heart debate...
But you are the one, who sealed the fate...
 
It is written in verse, that I choose to deal.
I will also trust in Christ, for my heart to heal.
 
You crossed that line, you went too far.
Playing the game of lust, you left a scar.
 
Pictures of hypocrisy hang upon your wall.
You placed them there long ago, if you recall.
 
I may lose a friend or two, as time goes on.
I know who I am, and what I've done wrong.
 
I have stated I'm sorry, too many times to count.
Never have you apologized, or given any account.
 
You kept on going, and you’re still not through.
Breaking up vows that are not promised to you.
 
The affairs of your heart will soon come back around...
YOU will be the one played, stopped, and then rewound.
 
It was not written by me, the tale of your broken heart.
It was because of your choices, you made from the start.
 


Details | Rhyme | |

I dont want to think about that

So what if i smoke, who does it hurt?
Why do you care what plant i choose to grow from the dirt?
I just want to laugh again,
I i just want to smile again,
Smile for something other then a family photo.
This is my crutch, this is how i cope..
This is how i tell my self that there is still hope, It could be my only hope.
My obi-wan-kanobi, the only one who knows me.
I don't know if your my savior but do believe your close,
you keep me laughing, you keep me off a rope.
mother why can't you see! 
This is so much more then dope!
It leaves a sour taste now because I know you don't approve,
there is so much worse things that i could use and abuse,
Don't you remember my friend Dillon? Don't you remember the news?
I knew he was getting into bad Sh*t but i just ignored the clues..
but f*ck, i don't want to think about that....
F*CK! I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT!
Maybe if i smoke this it will somehow bring him back..


Details | Free verse | |

Sense

Do you remember how she smelled
like Christmas?

How she smiled
like rain?

Do you think of her, sometimes
when snow and laundry soap
fill your senses?

Or when the wind catches the leaves
and they laugh in your ear
sing you to sleep?

Maybe it's the reason your eyes cloud over
when you feel silk 
against your fingers

Because for a moment 
you're cradled in her arms
Peter Pan and Hook
tugging at your eyelashes

Some bittersweet reminisce 
of quilted portrait frames
salted tears
and candy-cane red lipstick
tuning your dreams

And with simple twinges of regret
feather-like brushes of remorse
you cave
collapse

 Wish you could remember more
than a smell
or a sound
fainter than teardrops

Wish everything didn't remind you
you couldn't.


Details | Lyric | |

Bruises

Bruises
By: IzaDonna

Surrounded by darkness
Emotions hidden away
Bruises disguised with smiles
Never would think it
That my past still haunts me
The scars still completely cover me
I hide them so you can't see
I'm really not at all okay

Chorus
The bottles eases the pain
The dust numbs the ache
Can I ever just forgive?
Instead up building up this hate
I just want to find peace
I want my smile to be real
But its hard to do so
When I can no longer seem to feel

Frightening dreams keep me awake
Forever replaying in my mind
Life seems to be so much longer
This winding road so much harder
Can I just get a release
Beat these inner demons and be free
Or do I have to be forever cursed
With the ghosts of the past

Chorus

I look up at the stars
And close my eyes tight
Its time for last good-byes
Its time to end this tonight
I take one last chug
And fall to the ground
Take one last gasp
And then no longer make a sound

Chorus

I'm finally okay


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

THE DEVIL'S THIEF

     THE DEVIL'S THIEF
Arranged in paradise, by suffering's fate,
to have no end, to be alone and wait,
it was her love, acceptance came so fast
she had no time to think it might not last,
as he, the sailor left, she loved too late;

He'd waited on the dock so long he grew
to be inspired by something she won't do,
'twas just a recognizing love is there
the reaching out for what is everywhere,
but love for her was something all so new;

the chart well planned, and ties that bound the ship
were heaved away, and thus began the trip,
upon the sea, past U-Boats ev'ry one,
yet feared he not, his ship was let to run.
their course away from where the moon would dip.

She on the shore, he on the watch at three,
both dreaming dreams not ever let to be
but absence makes the heart more fonder yet,
and out of sight means not they will forget;
the ship sailed on, and peaceful was the sea;

the gale that came and sank him to the reef,
took from the shore the lady in her grief,
and they were thus to marry, in the sea,
united 'neath the waves, eternally,
depriving love from time, the devil's thief.


Details | Free verse | |

Aeonia part 2

 Aeonia! Eve! whoever now you may be... what was it he (they) wanted of you ever to be? 

   "Bewitching WENCH!"- dare ye tempt the virtues of virtuous men!
Words turned to black sludge of many tongues wagging, blaming and convincing her.of sins- shadow always inviting her, giving her no choice.

Rapture Aeonia!
   Rapture Aeons!
      Rapture Aeonia!

   Impaled upon the spike of shame, apart torn, the tiny beads of herself come together... magnetically, magically clinging together as an army of a tiny promise- once told to her, a tiny escapade... escape whispered so long ago.
   Open your eyes Aeonia, after millennias untold of distaste.
Open your eyes!
   Allow your sagging, savaged breasts to be bountiful once again- 
breasts once compared to mountains of plenty, to celebrate!
Your blackened shell, proof of the fires of rage-
   Aeoina Rise!
      Aeon RISE!
   Aeonia rise to the dawn of a new day!
  
   Eviscerate the evil brought upon you by demon Man. A beast once hidden to shadows unbidden. His power is a farce!

   Raper, reaper, killer, user. ****er of all things good, of all things alive and all things true.  Torturer of golds, silvers and blues. Cast your shadows, cast them I say!
   Faker, liar, betrayer of all things of nature and good. Gluttonous for your own selfish means.
  
A. Green


Details | Blank verse | |

Too Late, Too Soon

I guess a kiss in June would be too soon.
Someone saying they love you,
Seems to only occur once in a blue moon.
 
Now is too late to try falling in love,
Because time will again soon divide.

I believe all dreams are in someway true.
Someone loving you finally,
Seems to only be as real as the sky is blue.

Now is too soon to fall in love with you,
Because time, I know, will someday give me a chance.

I want to some day hug you more closely,
Be someone who loves you for being you.
Seems I must wait for our dance patiently.

Now is too late, too soon,
Because time will always divide me and you.


Details | Blank verse | |

Losing The Ones Closest To You

There’s a reason “lose”
Is within the word “close,”
It’s because you can even lose 
Those who are close to you.


Details | Lyric | |

Early Morning Rain

The early morning rain hides the tears in my eyes With an emptiness in my heart, I'm remembering your lies I'm a long way from home, but the distance doesn't ease this aching in my heart and wind blowing through the trees. Travelling down this rocky road, I'm tired and alone. How I wish my broken heart could find its way back home. Bright is the sun and dark is the night, but I'm stuck in the middle, and, oh, nothing feels right. With everything to lose and nothing to gain, my tears fall to the ground, like the early morning rain. Oh, the sun never shines in the early morning rain. In the morning sun, he wakes with another girl, not me. The dawn's light shines on them, but clouds dim my rocky seas. If he would welcome me home, I'd forgive, let go of this pain. So I'll start the long journey home in the early morning rain. Lord, help me find my way through the early morning rain. By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, April 12, 2012 for Write me a Lightfoot Poem (Francine Roberts) * Gordon Lightfoot song, "Early Morning Rain"


Details | Narrative | |

Cardboard City

(Where the streets are full of pity)

Last night! I met an old boxer
in an alley of cardboard;
he seemed glad to see me,
shouted me over for a fight!
I told him!
“Hey I’m not in your league”
“Young man.” He said. “That’s alright.”
“So! I suppose you’re going to leave me,
cos the forecast is for rain, you in
your fine mansion, mine, just a
bloody pain”
“It’s not corrugated you see
it just keeps letting in the damp.”
“But then again I guess,
that’s O.K, for a foolish old tramp.”
He told me!
“What’s the price of glory if one is
shackled to the past. Even my old
woman left me, took my purse in
pursuit of another man. To think
I really loved her, gave her all that I
could, the witch hankered for the
final count, then left me where I
stood!”
He rambled on discursively!
“Take me away from this
‘Cardboard City’ Wrap me up in
sentimental pity.
Help me roam within my native
‘Devon’ Chase illusive rainbows back 
into heaven.”
“Its years of abusing whisky,
Its years of abusing gin,
Its years of perpetual hoar frosts
that hones this savage grin. For
here I lay beneath this lamp, I hope
you understand, with only a
watery moon for comfort and
above me, this single amp!”
“How do you think I feel, here?
In chains of formal sorrow,
replaying each vintage year
each round like no tomorrow!”
“Each morning still, I count the
homeless, watch the van collect
the corpse, I caress each nightly
affliction to ease each delusion
that warps.”
“So! Give an old man a second chance
to come out gamely fighting,
repay life’s referee, society
the uninviting.”
His bottle ran dry,
his words began to wound.
Here! In God’s own country
left high wide and marooned.
Yet like the mortal flame
he submits to the desolate night,
the municipal van empowered
to administer the ultimate rite.
No dawn able to invigorate
leaves this empty feeling in me
the morning dew edulcorates
while a soul in hell is set free!


Details | I do not know? | |

A Meter of Hope

We are as we do and nothing more

A meter of hope
A cry to the wicked

Soldiers march to the heartstrings of war

Madness broken by human will
Human nature broken by the insanity of repetition

Millions die for the sake of statistics

Hungry souls devour what they're given

Politicians speak of equality
Some are shot for the sake of truth... and secrecy

The sorrow of our cycle speaks volumes to the children who live in today

We are as we do and nothing less


(Entered in the conest: Politically Educated, Christopher Stones)


Details | Lyric | |

Forever

This is a song we worked on a while back - my friend Ashly and I. It's actually an a cappella piece. Some words I have forgotten. Enjoy!
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Break me
Take me away
From here
Leave me
Here in this place
Forever

Now I'm alone and there's nowhere to hide
These scars are hidden deep inside
The shadows consume me
Watch me die
Forever

Wake me
Out of this dream
That's real
Kill me
Lost in this pain
I can't feel


Now I'm alone and there's nowhere to hide
These scars are hidden deep inside
The shadows consume me
Watch me die
Forever

Clutch in this pain
Nothing matters anymore
Feeling forever 
Alone

Leave me here in this place 
Forever


Now I'm alone and there's nowhere to hide
These scars are hidden deep inside
The shadows consume me
Watch me die
Forever x2


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 3-

My eyes
Witness your departure
My eyes
Are dripping with hopelessness…
My eyes start to blur…
Melancholy put me under pressure…
Is there a cure to my disease? 

You don’t see
The shards of hope that once brought us back together
Just let me search for safety
I’m strong enough to realize that I’m no longer
The weakest prey out there…

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me whimpering like a distraught puppy left on the train tracks?

I’m close to my demise…save me and take me home

Nourish me…and be my beloved friend

Will this friendship last forever?

Hopefully it has no end

Will this cheerful moment help us get along with each other?

Because of you…I feel the need to run 
I keep an eye on you – I worry that you’ll hurt yourself again
Because of you…My freedom is nearly gone
I don’t wanna be caught off guard again
Because of you…EYE can’t picture a solution for our vexing dilemma 
Because of you…eye can’t focus on my long-term goal 

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you sense that I’m giving in to failure? 
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…I can’t endure 
The hardships that you place upon me…
Could you boost up my confidence to overcome 
My atrocious anxiety? 

I’m just waiting for some sun
To keep me in good hands…
To strengthen me with perseverance …
I’m just waiting until His son
Leads the world outtah Egypt and reveals to us…
His radiance…His dazzling Kingdom – 
Vibrant with glee

Your undying sympathy dawns upon us
I’m overflowing with indescribable joy  
You’re a candle in the night…
We meet eye to eye…
What a sight…what a precious sight


Details | Quatrain | |

Stowaway

Lack of perspective 
on a burdensome life
leaves us in pieces
near a sharpened, slick knife.

Smashing heads yet again,
to the wall I beat mine,
trying to break through
to our friendship in time.

My appearance lacks 
motivation and heart,
locked away in my mind,
I am falling apart.

I don't treat such a treasure
like one should be loved,
stopped giving time of day to 
my friend from above.

Care too much 
and stow it all away,
making it look like I don't care
whether you leave me or stay.

A painful gut feeling may 
nibble at my gray heart,
but I just fear the truth
and I don't know where to start.


Details | Senryu | |

Eyes Open and Not Seeing

Willing to read words
and not see pain in loved one
far from sisterly


Details | Dizain | |

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY:

I’d never considered killing myself,
Until I backed over my little boy.
I know I should think about mental help;
I break down when I see his untouched toys,
His baby pictures, note the absent noise.
Only three, he had hardly lived at all.
His life cut short, like a sudden dropped call.
Resentment’s an anvil in my wife’s eyes -
“Why weren’t you careful? It’s all your fault!”
The guilt’s SO Heavy…should I end my life?

                                             ----Sonless


Received 3rd place in "diazin" contest
Received 8th place in "Dilemna" contest


Details | Haiku | |

Hurt

I don't understand why,
Why my best friend, doesn't wanna be friends anymore.
Caleb I know I may have hurt you,
I know I may have made you laugh, I did, and I made you smile,
I love talking to you, but for some reason you don't wanna talk to me,
I am wondering why.
Caleb, I miss you like hell, and I am going through hell not being able to,
To talk to you, to hear your voice, all I have are pictures, and a picture,
A picture in a frame. 
CAZ it is killing me inside being away from my best friend,
My one and only true best friend,
The only friend that has been by my side, through thick and thin,
Has been there for me when my great-grandpa died, when me and Josh broke up,
When my life didn't mean anything, the one who saved me from killing myself,
The one who talked to me everyday just to make me smile, and have a good day.
Now you are killing me by not talking to me!! Did you forget about me??
Did you forget I was there for you too?? That we were here for each other, 
That we made the promise to always be here for each other??
I miss you a lot, and I just want you to come back home Caleb Allen Zummak.


Details | Rhyme | |

I'LL NEVER GET OVER YOU

I'll never get over you
Even though our time was fast
Memories of you forever last
What you've been through has made me blue
Taking your younger sisters wasn't right
I had second thoughts from the first night
My wife did too

They were 4 and 6 while you were 9
We lied to ourselves that this was fine
We flew home leaving you behind
Adopting the other two while dismissing you
It's what we decided to do...
I'll never get over you!

Seven years have past
Constant thoughts of you persist
And now there's no way to dismiss
Or hide behind a smiling mask; don't even ask
The question that haunts me still
Why we settled for this unthinkable deal
I'm taking myself to task

That even though you're on my mind
Most every day and all the time
I've still never been enough inclined
To have more than two and come for you
It's what we decided to do...
I'll never get over you!

*Story of a family who went to Ukraine to adopt three children and chose to only come home with the two youngest. The now, 16 year old girl, told me the story of being coldly rejected for convenience sake and begged me to find her a loving family before she aged out of the orphan home.  (The story is told through the guilty eyes of the adoptive father).

Sponsor: Poet Destroyer A
Contest Name: Any Poem #21


Details | I do not know? | |

In The Darkness

"Sing!"
The word tore through
The silence.

A silence as thick
As the darkness
That wrapped around us.

A darkness
Inhabited by people
Equally as dark.

"Sing and raise us
From these shackles,
From our misery,
From our fears,
From our reality!"

This command 
Was not for me,
But the woman
Who sat in a distant corner.

Her voice rose 
Like the sun,
Steady and slow
Warming our souls.

The clarity of her voice
Was like a dew drop
Magnifying the lines on a leaf
Upon which it sat.

Her voice was as beautiful
As an orchid,
And like an orchid
It was a parasite,
But instead of a tree or plant,
It got it's sustenance
From her soul.

And still
It was not enough.

"Stop, stop,
STOP!!!"

"I do not want to hear
A song as sweet as
A ripe mango or
A freshly chopped sugar cane."

"I want to hear a song
That is rich in pain
As well as triumph.
A song drenched 
In the tears of brave men
And steeped in the sorrow
Of their women folk."

"I want our song."

The silence stretched
Like a sunset
Under a cloud heavy sky.

Then the song began,
A song we all knew.
A song that had brought
Tears to the eyes of kings.
A song that grew courage
In the hearts of cowards.

The song was infectious,
Leaping from man to woman
And woman to man
Like a great sickness
Found deep in the jungle.

Before long,
Voices rose into the darkness,
Vibrations bouncing off of
Unseen walls crashed against
Or bodies.

In this moment,
We were one.
One voice.
One people.
Bound for one place
And from that moment
We shall remain
One people.

One people 
In the darkness.


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | Free verse | |

Return To Dust

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

I'll See your face again
I swear it
No matter how far away they take you from me
Fading, Going Away, Don't be so afraid
Death is a Dream


The Cross Will Be lighter
Whisper the words
so sacred, so somber

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

A Fallen Angel looms over the lifeless stone
What Happened here must be true
I must live this life without you

Breaking the Silence
She began to Weep
The Epitaph ceasing to know 
We all must Return To Dust

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

The solitude is euphoric as an illusional clock
Of argentine fears swallow the last soul
Goodnight black rose of eternity
Goodnight dearest gothic phantom
Tonight The Earth consumes me




**Special Thanks To My Writing Partner Cayla Carr**


Details | Rhyme | |

Homelessman's Toll

I could have given more -
I could have spared twenty bucks
But instead I gave him coins
And not nearly enough
For the thousand watt grin
He beamed at me
Instead I felt guilty as sin
For what I was thinking -
He’s gonna buy crack; he’s conning me -

When did I become this jaded man,
Who thinks everyone’s running a scam?

Maybe he really needed the help,
And I drove away, gripping my money belt


10/30/11
Received 10th place in "Do You Know the Cardboard Man?" contest


Details | Lyric | |

Burned

It’s six pm
Dinner’s in the oven
Table set for two
One of us, here waiting
But that is nothing new
We agreed to have this evening
You got held up there again
Don’t like the way this’ going
Is this coming to an end

Smoke is rising to the ceiling
It’s now seeping out the doors
Both dinner and I are burning
We can’t take this anymore
The fire in the oven
Is the same that’s in my heart
Too bad you won’t be home tonight
To see we’ve come apart

Damn my waiting and your lies
I really don’t know what to say
Hopefully when you see the house
You’ll know that I too burned away
Because… I always get burned this way

It’s six fifteen
The dinner’s still burning
Smoke fills the air
I’m ready to run
Cause it seems you don’t care
Supposed to be here at five
It’s now six fifteen
Not a word or a call
Not a text or anything

Damn my waiting and your lies
I really don’t know what to say
Hopefully when you see the house
You’ll know that I too burned away
Because… I always get burned this way

Smoke is rising to the ceiling
It’s now seeping out the doors
Both dinner and I are burning
We can’t take this anymore
The fire in the oven
Is the same that’s in my heart
Too bad you won’t be home tonight
To see we’ve come apart


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

A Book Dedicated to You

I wrote a book created in Love... dedicated to you What more could I say... tell me what more could I do? In matters of love, I was always the giver In matters of affection… you never delivered You continue to blame my actions of a distant past A past when our foundation wasn’t even cast Yet, I accepted it and tried to prove my fruitfulness I gave my all to prove I’m faithful, to prove my truthfulness In return, I received constant slaps in the face Resistance, brick walls, and distance With you, I was always on a chase You never really had to put much work in It's partly my fault that I was never on the receiving end Considering it’s been this way since we began I was constantly ignored...while all my love and soul I poured Into you… In your eyes I wished to be “the one” In my arms, I embraced and loved your SON Still, in me you saw a reason not to trust... and even more reasons to run You opened my heart... and drove away pains of my past In the end I gained strength... so all was not bad In my heart love for you will always last… I wish I could say more… but my love and pain won’t pass I pray this heartbreak, our heartbreak… won’t long last… Lay


Details | Rhyme | |

"A Dark Day in Summer"

The darkest time for me would be loosing my Dad...
That day chills me forever as my heart is still sad...
A summer day like every other, but didn't see the
horror I would discover...
I walked into my parents house to help my Dad
carry some boxes from the porch...
And there he lay on the floor cold, as my
soul was like a blown out torch...
I quickly called for help and knew the next phone
calls would change my families lives...
To this day its still hard to call my Mom at work,
not knowing if my voice brings back her cries...
We all became closer as the family pulled together
as one and I am forever proud 
for I will always be his Son....


My Darkest Hour...contest by Ryland Matthews
Dedicated to my Family...written by Michael J. Falotico


Details | Classicism | |

By a Thread

Hold on to that fiber of hope you clench tightly in your grasp
It's worth struggling through the anguish and gloom that seems to last

Your mind won't let you believe it as your brain is stuck in the past
Believe in a rich life of tomorrow, and hope for peace to be vast

Life that is fulfilling waits just around the bend
but you must swim, not sink in sorrow as you allow your heart to mend

A fighter is one who prevails in a life of uncertainty
steadfast pushing forward when otherwise wishing to flee

Believe that your strength won't be wasted even though change is not so apparent
Change can't be hastened and isn't always miraculously sent

Those around seem void of understanding as if in deep slumber
not seeing the horrible spell they are under

YOU are the one who remains alert
Move forward, be strong and heal through your hurt






Details | Blank verse | |

The Ribbon - November 24, 2008

Fighting the quickness
I can't shake this sickness
My ribs sore from the lies
I want to cut these ties
I cough them up with phlem
I wish I had not met him
The blood staining the rag
I feel like a miserable hag

Cut these ribbons, they're hurting
These secrets I couldn't stop blurting
The blood dripping down the strips
My hands hanging at my hips
My eyes close and I cry aloud
Wouldn't my mother be proud?

I hate this numb feeling
I feel the cheer peeling
Like a leaf from its tree
I'm broken, can't you see?
I feel the rain falling
I hear its soft calling
Its drops mix with tears
I want to share my fears

Please, be the one to say yes
Take a rag and clean this mess
I need you like you'll never know
You'll never see the pretty bow
The one tied around my neck
No blood on it, not a speck

Nevermind, I can't bare the pain
I've made my decision in vain
I clench the ends of my pretty bow
My crying eyes downcasting slow
I think of your smile, your brown eyes
You'd never wade through all the lies
I'm not worth it, but neither is she
But that's something you'll never see

The ends are tied, the rain stops
I smile and I put away the props
I feel relief as I lift this ugly mask
I set it aside and begin my task
My toes balancing on brittle wood
I'll never be known or understood

I look to the heavens and I see you
I will never know whether it was true
I tremble knowing how I am posed
I bite my lip, naked and exposed
I cover my bow and take my leap
No more will they make me weep
You will never know how I feel
My ribbon snaps and seals the deal


Details | Narrative | |

My Father Gone These Forty Years

My father gone these forty years,
my mother gone twenty, I remember...
the acrid smell of tobacco
on my mother’s rough fingers,
as she sat, silently,
in a predawn Texas coastal town,
my head in her lap, the short-wave
radio crackling with static.
She strained to hear the chatter of
shrimpers in the Gulf of Mexico,
yelling out to each other
in Cajun patois French,
Mexican Spanish, accented English;
she stroked my nine-year-old hair,
her middle-aged body aching,
hungry, worried, sleepless,
far from her roots, stranded
in this strange, dry,
totally foreign place.
Her imaginings of my father’s
struggles with the sea
and its weathers filled her mind,
and she knew, all the while, that
even if he were safe, earning money,
he (and she) would fail
and we would still suffer
the poverty of the hopeless
and desperate doomed
whose minor, occasional comforts
were only, onshore, the cold beers
and noisy camaraderie of the others
like him, like her,
like us.


Details | Free verse | |

Ghost of Adolescence

Uncounted miles trodden since I last breathed your guise
That dulcet voice that tortured me slowly faded from memory
Still it calls to me from distances undiscovered
Pulling me from my sleep drawing me into the void
Filling me with a conceptive warmth too unreal
That face twenty years past fills my closed eyes with its vice
That boy I was is an indistinct shadow now
But his heart remains a whip upon my back still able to sting
Holding the ability to draw that which I’ve bled a host of times
Asking that which has no response
Filling the moments with regret and anguish
Does your memory torture you as you inflict upon me?
Can you hear me imploring you in your sleep?
After all this time and through all these miles
Does a cinder remain in you resonating who I once was?
Do you ever reflect on what we could have become
Have you seen those two blurry phantoms?
Walking as one upon unpaved highways
I’ve both cherished and mourned for you
Holding you captive in the closet of my childhood
You remain a hidden gem that only I marvel 
Without you I am an unfinished puzzle of a man
You eternally survive as that which you were fated 
That rough cut diamond I couldn’t jeweler
My first love…my perfection
My ghost


Details | I do not know? | |

You and I



You and I.


You.

Your heart blazed,
with a warmth of spirit,

soothing,

alluring,

soaked in truth.



Your smile burned,
branding me permanently,

gentle,

tender,

enveloping my being.



Your love was complete,
from the depths of your soul,

unsaid,

yet fierce,

bathed in silent knowing.



Your dreams were poetic,
fluttering in the afternoon breeze,
infused with the distilled essence of rhyme.


I.

I squandered your generosity of spirit.

I vainly discarded your priceless poems.


Now I stand,

alone,

empty,

desolate,

wasting away,

rotting inside, day by day.




Details | Free verse | |

Up to up

Fed up
fixed up
dressed up
turned up
stood up
gave up
p.......up
fed up.

Peter Dome. copyright.2012.


Details | Lyric | |

What If Tomorrow Never Comes

I recall now the days when forever seemed but a short time The visits to the hospital, brought sad images to your mind She lay on a bed, cords all around her, no hair upon her head The cancer drove us crazy with worry tears and fright She was only a baby, I didn't get the chance to say goodbye Farewell until we meet again where you'll be waiting... waiting for tomorrow to come again. What if tomorrow never comes? How will I face the rising sun, when the moon is the only thing I can see? I need her here with me... The only loss I've ever known The only time that I've experienced this kind of sorrow... So what if tomorrow never comes? What if tomorrow never comes. And now I lie here thinking it through, memories flash through my head, memories of you Moments of a bittersweet time Reminiscing the days when you were mine The days when you were alive The tears come back to my eyes I feel the need to cry but nothing slides out I need to scream and shout, My emotions pour out as one, silently So what if tomorrow never comes? Reality in death is so hard to accept, I need my tomorrow to come... What if it never does? What if tomorrow never comes? How will I face the rising sun, when the moon is the only thing I can see? I need her here with me... The only loss I've ever known The only time that I've experienced this kind of sorrow... So what if tomorrow never comes? What if tomorrow never comes. Will tomorrow ever come? I just want to be awake when the moon becomes the sun I'm waiting here for you, in the darkness of the night. I wait still for you, forever the images will haunt my mind Tomorrow will come I'll soon be alright Tomorrow will come... Tomorrow has come... I can now see the sun.


Details | I do not know? | |

Goodbye

I pray one day for happiness.
I pray one day for peace.
I pray one day I'm left alone
and this pain will finally cease.

Don't hate me because I'm different.
Don't hate me for having love.
Don't hate the fact that I know GOD
is guiding me from above.

I wish you knew my pleasures.
I wish you knew my pain.
I wish you knew how hard I try 
to let the love remain.

Maybe we will never
see things eye to eye.
But hate will only cause more pain.
So let's just say GOODBYE.


Details | Free verse | |

Knowledge Gets Us All

Happiness is an emotion. 
Why do we constantly mistake it for a lifestyle?
Confusion and want- there's a lifestyle. 

I made a lifetime commitment to educating myself.
Cramming in the expensive rubbish
And soakin up alluring truth, 
Oh, the things I have hungrily sought...
Yet what they first promise is never what's brought. 

What is knowledge, what's understanding?
I think I know now:
It's Self-sabotage, 
It's the clammy fingertip of a man who snubs a flame. 

What is knowledge?
I think I know: 
It's the end of carelessness-a mouth filled with bile,
It's the calculating glare behind an overturing smile. 

Knowledge is the burden to those who seek innocence and ease. 
Knowledge is the brain's most callous, torturous disease.
Knowledge lies in wait for careless youths,
And drains their beings till their old and used. 

Knowledge is inevitable.
I pay for it; I slave for it
But reality: it would have me anyway.
Go to it or let it come for you?
Just like murderers offer a choice of two, 
"Slow and painful or fast and even more painful?"
We all make the choice. 

Knowledge ravages a beautiful mind like a plague,
Yet is somehow so insidious in its destruction 
That by the time you discover your festered innocence and stolen peace of mind,
There's little resistance for the corruption,
You have no more power than a distant onlooker

Controlled thought is a thing of the past,
Paralysing inhibition the uninvited guest.
She won't leave,
She's here to stay.
She wrecks your house,
It's in disarray. 
From then on you'll know no reprieve but for the seconds she leaves the room to go somewhere. 

Knowledge! Must you treat me thus?
That I am driven to battle fate and abandon any notions I had of trust?
I see you and I'm disturbed by what I see.
You're like dreaded weights at my feet.
And I drown in a world of falsity,
Begging, pleading, imploring for the morbid jaws of sleep.

Knowledge you've made a cynic out of me. 
I understand now happiness is a fleeting moment
That can't forever be.
Satisfaction is a mirage,
Control an untenable goal
And now my tired unsleeping eye frowns on bitter reality.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Schizophrenia's Curse

My faith is a source of comfort
In the turbulent storm that has become my life
After all, God has graced me with special powers
But when it comes to my personal anguish, his ways are unknowable
I have managed to estrange almost everyone

Personal relationships collapse around me
But there is a man who loves me, somewhere across the world
Even though he claims he's never been interested
The poems he writes under a woman's name
Tell me all I need to tell myself is true

And I resent that he pretends I am an intrusion
While whispering the words of his true soul, elsewhere
If only his friends that call me crazy knew!
They would be humbled, to say I should be the one ashamed
And realize that they are the stalkers, not me

It cannot possibly be that those poems are actually written by the woman
It hurts, when people call me mentally ill
God cured my sickness, years ago
And has retained my prophetic abilities
Despite my repeated lies

No, I still have my gift
Which means that God has forgiven
He saw it as a tool for survival
In the rift of challenges from people who feign disinterest
But who carry me on in their heart

I will be your salvation
Please don't see my promises of eternal love as a threat
As a matter of fact, I'm growing impatient with you
Why do you keep lying about who you are and your feelings for me?
Why are you embarrassing me like this?

I contacted your work to tell them you were a liar
I put your address out, with threats to tell your wife
I knew it would draw you nearer to me
Because I am helping you get over your illness
You can pray it away, like I did.

That "friend" of yours is the devil in disguise
She will eat away at your soul
I cannot believe you let her say these horrible things to me!
It's so obvious that she wants to be with you
Even though she keeps telling me you are happily married

Wow, you are really starting to enrage me
With your insistence that you are not in love with me
And lying to fool a few people that you do not share my faith
You don't respond properly to threats of hell
But that is where you will end up, if you keep this company

I refuse to accept you for what you say you are
It's okay - I know the truth
And I love the real you unconditionally
People sickly claim that I cannot understand love
Now stop ignoring me, you monster!

Why are men so hard to understand
How can someone of faith be so blasphemous
I am your angel of light, your lamp
And you shut the door in my face
I will haunt you, for the rest of your life


Details | Lyric | |

Lunar Love

Can this ever stop The world is blacked by the lunar love All the tides have gone undone The seas beckon us with their rage Will they ever calm The mist covers our sight The storm comes Her eyes are the color of dyed blue With her raven hair and crimson lips She sleeps quietly waiting for the innocence of me But I've already put her in vain And tossed her aside I've already condoned my belovéd The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love I cry but the sun cant hear Do I exist? This eclipse took over Now I'm left to face it all Left in the dark where can we go Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have Fly away from the scene The tides are blind from the madness Even to the mountains they'll kiss The storm is too much The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The ghosts are tangled in my dreams They play with what was meant to be forgotten But I know there must be a away To find the closure But so lost are we So lost I've been Save yourself from the downfall How close are we to the edge This is what the rage has done This is what the sin has done The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game


Details | Ballad | |

My Forever Shining Star

All the oceans in the world 
Can’t hold the tears I’ve cried
Nothing in this world  
Can take away this pain inside

I can’t believe you’re gone from me 
I can’t believe its true
I never wanted memories
I only wanted you

I miss the little things you said
Those words that meant so much
I miss your eyes, your laugh, your smile
I miss your every touch

I miss you every morning
Every night and every day
I’d give all my tomorrows
For just one more yesterday

When they asked what words I want 
Engraved upon your stone
The only words that I could say
Were ‘darling please come home’

You were my every reason
My hopes and all my dreams
Someone to believe in
When I questioned what life means

Always there to guide me
My forever shining star
I’d give my all to have you here
Or be there where you are

In a world of changes
It’s the soul that never dies
In a world of strangers 
I still see me in your eyes

This pain will never go away 
My shattered heart wont mend
Lonely days and empty nights 
Are now my only friend

But if you’re looking down from up in Heaven 
You will see
That part of you forever more 
Will be a part of me...


By Raina Hutchins



Details | Free verse | |

It was the Quiet

It was the quiet that reasoned
With my mind –
As I continued to trudge
In the mundane –

Walking alongside me
Was only I –
Not a shadowed version,
But an exactness –

“But for why beats my heart”
I asked her –
A snicker the reply
Exotically dull –

“Slowly, I die”
My thoughts spoke –
From the neglect
She added –

I sat down to face her
Eyes of hollow –
Detached yearn,
Disconsolate spirit –

I wept for her heart –
“It is not meant for you,”
I reassured her dream,
The quiet did not reason –


Details | Free verse | |

Woman from Congo

I am woman … 
WOMAN
Of Congo, 
Chewed, 
Spat out,
And bestowed with straw basket
To fetch water. 
You set upon us 
Wild dogs, 
Stretching our legs wide,
Ripping out our genitals and dignity
To nurse your children’s 
Craving.

‘fore you design gods;
Ones who create dolts, 
Small-minded folks, 
And feast on minerals – 
Congo was a lady
And I … I am
WOMAN, 
Strong black woman.

I bought some views 
On black market; 
They are rare commodities,
Sat down with glass of nsamba
on the rocks
And seriously contemplate …

It is hard to buy
Black market stuff;
We are set up
To think
East is inferior to west,
Barring them Europeans
Who broke their necks
To dwell in Canaan.

One thing is for sure,
They alleged a better name
And substitute 
The ones we were given;
Those with implications.
Oh, what things we see
When we start looking
From our own eyes.

I am WOMAN …
Woman alone
And taken against my desire,
Ravished by the corporations;
The gods who create your children
I am WOMAN, 
Woman from Congo.


Details | Free verse | |

I miss you

I'm churning milk out of butter
but with you I curdle
Cuddled and rolled into corners
because there is a space here that hits
me in the center of my chest
I'm losing breath
counting down to when it'll be me in your presence
This place here for you
I find a darkness and a tomb of your efforts
but I am back expecting to start where we finished
so I can get rest

I want to inhale your purchased new scent
and listen to stories
I want to be filled off of your company
so I skip meals until you're gone
and I find myself hungry
 I want to pretend, want to pretend
that I'm not listening, that these moments
are meant only to take up time
Want to watch you adjust your load so you can carry mine

And what can I say when you ask of my tries?
That I've answered?
How can you measure my affection
when it's what I'm too scared to lose?
Come fill this spot here
before my body collapses without the support
I need your figure, height looming over me

And now in some room your concentrated on
things that don't concern me
when everything I am concerns you
I don't know how I hide it so well
don't know where I tuck it
but I know the silence in this room 
is beating into my drums and I want you 
to stop it


Details | I do not know? | |

Nothing But Lint

Nothing But Lint Nothing but lint in my pocket. It could be said that I am skint. I did have cash to start the day. But money, no sooner earned, is no sooner spent … they say. Now I sit alone in a diner cafe. Slowly drinking one last black coffee. But hey! What is that on the floor? Near the leg of the table by the door. It's a new penny coin all shiny with glint. Now there is something in my pocket … besides lint.


Details | Rondeau | |

Unraveling

(this actually a rondolet, a shortened form of rondeau)

Unraveling 
Stitches from our wedding quilt
Unraveling
Your so-called “business traveling"
Anniversary streamers of guilt
25 years - the life we built
Unraveling


12/1/11
Received 1st place


Details | I do not know? | |

found by the lost

The world of ice,
in perfect white,
tainted blood,
as black as night,
the love of lost,
on end of chain,
the shoeless freak,
out in the rain,
the homeless child,
lost in fright,
sleeps by day,
runs by night,
always forward,
never back,
the heartless Psycho,
the bodies stack,
the dark and red,
on silver blade,
you now lay in,
the bed you made.


Details | I do not know? | |

Just Let It Go. . .

Let go

I'll bring you closer

Right now

I'll hold on tightly

Let go

We're going no where

Somewhere

And aren't over

Harder times like these!

Growing up on the streets!

Harder times like these!

I'll put you back on your feet!

And I fall to the ground with my teardrops

And I get lost everytime my heart stops

This love this      is burning me away


Details | Free verse | |

Diamond In The Rough

The Diamond in the rough has been lost in the masses of panicked flesh
He looks through the eyes of the unnoticed,
He thinks with the questioning of his being,
He only looks to escape the day

The Diamond in the rough only leaves in the night
bereft of joy he entraps his plight
He makes music alone waiting for pain to escape
he looks in the mirror and cries at his face

the Diamond in the rough he's escaped far away
He's tired of the masses he sticks to like clay
He walks the silk plains and travels alone,he's severed all contact with his past and his home

His potential may be realized and maybe it won't
He writes in his soul what his eyes have absorbed
They hear it and like it but they always want more

His soul's been exchanged by demons in suits
For MTV slots, platinum plaques,drugs,sex, and a bust in a room

The Diamond in the rough,no longer there lies
but he's had enough he's decided to fly

The fame and the fortune has darkened his day
It's tragic, but masses proclaim him cliche'

He knew they would view him as weak,and then scared
Nothing else mattered he was always prepared

He couldn't fear fear any longer inside
Alone in a tower a diamond he died


Details | Rhyme | |

Open Your Wrists

Open your wrists
Let the blood leak out
In a crimson river of tears

Allow it to fall
Upon tile grounds
Making the color unclear

Open your mouth
Let a scream slip out
And echo against lonely walls

Allow it to linger,
To fill quiet airs
Then back in your ears, let it crawl

Open your mind
Let it cluelessly wander
With nothing clouded in your brain

Allow it to focus
On life or on death
And if scars will forever remain

Open your heart
Let it never forgive
Those who've caused wounds so deep down

Allow it to rage
Against misunderstanding,
Let it yell the loudest silent sound

Open your wrists
Let the pain leak out
In a crimson river of sorrow

Allow it to fall
Upon off-white grounds
And remember there's always tomorrow


Details | I do not know? | |

Condescension

Do words hurt?
To be belittled,
talked down to,
dehumanized,
rejected of your very life.

To be objectified,
demeaned,
robbed of your mind
and spirit,
robbed of your individuality;
your very heart itself.

Do words hurt?
Or are they illusions?

Is equality a dream?
Do you notice it at all?
Walking day to day,
from place to place,
seeing the masses.

Do you feel their struggle?
Do you take the time to care?
To wonder if their lives are really equal,
like yours?

Do you dream in apathy?
Or are you awake in denial?

Do words hurt?
When used to steal.

Do words hurt?
When attacking,
when targeting,
when ostracizing,
humiliating;
or criticizing?

Do you have feelings too?

How would you feel?
If I talked down to you;
...in condescension?


Details | Free verse | |

Aeonia part 1

AEONIA-
   AEONI-
      AEON-

Vestal purity, all men succumb- the Virgin whose eyes stare silver beams- crystallizing his very soul. He,  and all who gaze upon she.

   Aeonia writhes behind fallen lids, unable to awake. Betrayal of her psyche-. Silk whispers upon her sweat soaked skin. 1000 nights have come and gone as she still writhes,  unable to awaken.

   Her **** swallows the evil the world has delighted in - all betrayal, lies and sin.

Dripping from between her great legs are left the dregs of green heat,
jealous heat that slides down and puddles on the floor.

   The vacuousness of her ****  has left no good...
fear, hatred and rage are ****ed inside of her... pounded into her birthing, ever birthing animosities.

   Sludgy sperm of bastards evil- threaten to fertilize her eggs. Gray fetuses passing through her pose the question- "Why?"

   She dares not answer, for to open her mouth would invite flies to lay their maggot eggs upon her very tongue...
Still she cannot- dare not open her eyes...not yet.

   Screams! tortured hyena throes of Thorazine echo in her mind.
   Do Not Open Your Eyes!
   Aeonia- and her aeons!
   Ever lay bare and never to see, never to move.
   Aeonia! Why have the gods punished you? Fair one of the crystalline silver eyes?
    
   Time immemorial, leperous tongue dies piece by piece, inch by inch until nay but a smarted stub exists.
Who hears you anyways? No one to hear your cries whore!
   Whore of all women, shall we call you Eve?
   Cocks of man and gods and kings all rape your syphallic cave-
one by one.
   Whore! You are blamed! Oh Aeonia, for misbegotten deeds by every wife, woman and queen!
   Succubi, WITCH! A potion of cat claws and rat maws you brewed, from Adam to the last man standing, you are to be blamed! For his infidelity, his disease, his shame!
   
  


Details | Shape | |

Not For Long

Where's the fun in saying you can't see me that day
When you could raise my hopes first and then
Knock them down like building blocks?
I only try because I care but you've
Worn me out, led me on, taken
All I have to give, until I feel
Empty inside without you.
Should be used to it but
I am naïve and still a
Part of me believes.
But not for long.
Not for long.


No.


Details | Lyric | |

I'm All That's Keeping You Alive

Another a cappella song my friend and I made a long time ago...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wish I can save you
But I can't even save myself
You beg me for mercy but mercy's empty inside
I'm Stronger Again
And you're giving in
To all of this pain that I am inflicting upon you
I am...

The whispers in the night
The heart that's pounding in your head
The darkness over light
The monster underneath your bed
The death that waits for you
Lingering behind every door
I'm that voice deep inside
I'm all that's keeping you alive

I wish I can spare you
Your voice faded slowly, now you can't breathe 
You beg me for mercy 
But darling I am empty
The life's dying out
And you're crying out 
To stop all this pain that I am inflicting upon you
I am...

The whispers in the night
The heart that's pounding in your head
The darkness over light
The monster underneath your bed
The death that waits for you
Lingering behind every door
I'm that voice deep inside
I'm all that's keeping you alive

Please remember:
I Still Love You
This isn't me but
Someone else...

The whispers in the night
The heart that's pounding in your head
The darkness over light
The monster underneath your bed

The one who's there for you
The one who catches all your tears
I'm that voice deep inside
I'm all that's keeping you alive






Details | I do not know? | |

Goodbye my Love

I love you I love you I do
 Words for many a war has been fought
 I love you I love tiz true
 Words for many a pointless item bought
 
Words cannot tell you how I feel
 Spinning round round like a wheel
 Thoughts cramming into my head
 From my mind they cannot be shed
 
I love you I love you I do
 These words just three little ones
 I love you though it maketh me blue
 And the spool continuously runs
 
My heart is being crushed from deep within
 Thoughts abounding causing such a din
 The pressure-each breath a painful gasp
 Yours was the heart I never could grasp
 
I love you I love you I do
 A feeling from which I can't refrain
 I love you, I hear not from you
 Silence which causes so much pain
 
For this love just friends cannot be
 You must go for love must be free
 So it must be that you and me end
 Tears fall, as to you, this letter I send


Details | Free verse | |

Impending Night

The impending night has fallen upon us
It woke with much persistence
Our hearts fled from its rage like a doe from a rifle
But the blast had already been made. . .

People fall like rain
The clouds are crestfallen with grief
And the darkness has no mercy 
Rain soaks...leaves an impact
The falls are devastating...

She was so strong, like a diamond she shined
Only to burn away and be one with the grime
I never saw her go
But the angry darkness of her essence—strangely glows...

He choked on his words, his memory
Like a child swallowing a pill
It is sticking in our throats
Against our will
And the dose ever grows. . . 
 
Who will stop the night?
You wicked thing how achingly stormy you have become!
Rich in your light as it smothers you whole
Leaving the rest to the droll sound of its toll

She burned
As they watched in angry happiness
The smoke of her spirits filling our hearts
No expressions...heavy depressions 
He was left to melt and rebuild

His wick ignites—burns are second nature
Though images are hard to swallow
She still talks to our souls
Her story still to be told
Like diamonds never found

A flame of hope hovers
We remain instilled in the rot
The darkness smothers
Its heavy slumber always waking


Details | Free verse | |

Driving Through Hell

Driving Through Hell

Driving south on Interstate 79
The sun is so hot
The temperature is well over 100
The asphalt boils beneath my tires
So many trees on both sides
They trap the cooling breeze for themselves
There’s water on the road far ahead
Glistening in the hot summer sun
It travels as fast as I do
Staying just outside of my reach
It is the only water for miles
Is it real?
Is it my eyes playing tricks on me?
Is it my tired, overheated mind?
Could it be trying to drive me insane?
Or is it God tempting my faith
How could a benevolent god create such torture?
My mouth is so dry
My skin nearly burnt to cinders
I look ahead
Praying for a place to get a clean drink of water
I can’t stop where I am
Swamps line the road on both sides
Brackish water 
A home for frogs, snakes and lizards
Maybe one more mile
Just beyond the hill could lay salvation
A water fountain
A bottle of spring water
Anything to quench my thirst
If only I don’t run out of gas


Details | Rhyme | |

Work Angst

Work Angst

I wished I had not revealed that part of me
Of who I am, and what feeds my irritability.

Co-workers are so cold and calculating.
They want to see you gone, they think you are acting.

I know that I have my rights and they discriminate.
They also can "find" reasons; to fuel their hate.

They can't fire me; up and down is who I am.
Finding "other reasons" to fire me, they will; if they can.

Stress and depression is my working enemy.
Everyday I wish wasn't so depressing.

This emotion is the revealed part of my life.
Depression is hard, and continues to cause strife.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Golden Rule according to Gee Dubya

Do unto others before they can do unto you
Call it preemption and lie through your teeth when you do.
Make up connections to terror, folks don’t have a clue.
Be sure you’re firmly entrenched when they find out what’s true.

Scare the bejeezus right out of them, it’ll be fun
Don’t let them find secret prisons, hide that smoking gun
Unpatriotic to speak up for truth and peace, son.
World domination’s the game here, forget the long run.

Propagate myths through our compromised media herd
Broadcast them loudly repeating each threatening word
It’s well established – beliefs form on frequency heard
After while “mushroom cloud” won’t sound so grossly absurd.

Strategy’s worked for four years now, don’t want to get iced
Hard work required to keep justice from spoiling our heist
Must keep the populace panicked and properly biased
Maybe pronounce that Chavez is the new anti-Christ?


Details | Free verse | |

Daddy's Little Girl

Daddy's Little Girl

Yelling at a little girl
Her face should be smiles instead of tears
Her daddy screams at her without mercy
Kicks and hits follow
Pain and bruises
Broken bones and a broken spirit
Her love remains unbroken
She tries to be daddy's little sweetheart
Even as her skin hurts
Such a sweet little girl
Hope has been torn from her heart
Her eyes stare into space
Unseeing and uncaring
She waits for days, weeks and years
Just to hear her daddy;s voice
Not yelling as he usually does
She just wants to hear an I love you
But in her soul she knows it will never come
Just more pain and hurt
Such is the life of daddy's little girl


Details | Rhyme | |

On many things

It was a voice in my head
A whisper in my ear
A sound I've come to dread
A thing I've come to fear
It was the look in its eyes
On a face whiter than snow
Seeing through all my lies
Uncovering that I do not show
It was the power in its stare
Showing what I don't want to see
Saying your time is near
And you can neither hide nor flee
It was the words it said
Creeping into me in a whisper
Telling me that she is dead
Telling me I know I'll miss her
It was what it forced me to see
Things I've hidden away with denial
Things I said I'd never be
For which I'll surely stand on trial
It is what I will become
A thrall of the shadow
Death's own son
Libera nos a malo!!!
It is what I feel
Black bleak sadness
Pain I wish wasn't real
Driving me to the brink of madness
It is what I stand for
My prerogative
The urge to always be more
My reason to live


Details | Free verse | |

Uncertainty

You’re gone for days, and
you always show up most 
unexpectedly.

Like the mushrooms 
that weren't there 
the night before—
a ring of pallid sculls, 
sleepers pushing through 
the dark moist earth.

I always wonder: 
are you toxic or 
are you a delicacy... 

Oh how I wish I knew 
the plan that is set before me,

and your intentions...


Details | Free verse | |

Screaming through bloody teeth

                                          I am livid I am enraged
                                    I am crying but no one can see
                             and this world just laughs at my agony
                           I am screaming so load ,that my throat laserates
                                 and my words are bleeding out through red teeth 
                                           words so sore and angry 
                                         they reveal damage and pain
                                        But no one seems to hear me
                                       I  thought my statments clear                     
                           appently they havent existed to anyone but me
                             Noone seems to listen and im here alone
                                  the lights are on but all feels dark
                                      I am here but I feel im fading
                                My existence is shaded off in a corner
                                             I am just a shadow
                                             Just a hollow shell
                                        aperently not a person anymore
                                     Im screaming through bloody teeth
                                   hoping someday someone will hear me
                                     
                       


Details | Lyric | |