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Funny Personification Poems | Personification Poems About Funny

These Funny Personification poems are examples of Personification poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Funny Personification poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

Details | Personification | |

A Magic Adventure Of Peter The Pan--part II

Inside the Dishwasher everyone rushed!
Clinks, clanks, rattles, 'Ouches' and ' Ohs'!
"Would you pa--lease, settle down!" said Deb--They hushed.
"Now we can hear...let's just see how this goes."

Curious, Peter, looked out through a chinc,
And watched Vie and Chris-- approaching by twos.
They opened the door--and who do you think--
Standing there wearing her fine Jimmy Choos,
Ms Lost Sonnet!--spoke not a word--but winked.

Wilma Wine-Corkscrew, dressed in purple hues
Gave the 'all clear', and Peter spread the news.

"We're having a party Ms Sonnet, please,
Won't you join us? It's a magic party
For Peter", said Ruben Rotisserie.
Bob Blender poured her a drink--quite hardy.

Connie Candellabra was flaming bright
As Ms Sonnet swept past to the soft couch.
Carolyn Cookie Jar screamed with such fright,
"Quick! She's on fire!" Then Lost cried, "Ouch!"

"I'll save her", said Catie Collander. "Here!"
But the water leaked through her like a sieve.
Susan Spatula yelled, "Have no fear, dear!"
Yet, the fire held on and would not give--

Others tried, but could not stop the fire.
Then Peter said, "I wuw twy! I can do it!
With 'Awwy, I can fwy! Way up highya!
Togethwa, we can save Ms Wost Sonnet!

Awwy is my fwend. He tawks funny, too!
He's aw the way fwom Engwand and he is
My Supwa Cape! So I can fwy! It's twue!
No H's wive theaw--his name is wike this:
'Awwy--not Hawwy." So now, they all knew.

"Did I 'ear some bloke colling my name?"
"Yes! 'Awwy, me! We've Ms Sonnet to save!"
Harry Handtowel--AKA, Super Cape--fame
Was now on the neck of Peter the Brave!

With no hesitation quickly they flew,
Smothered the fire and saved just one shoe.
Brittle and weak, Lost needed more than glue...
"She needs magic! Oh! Paweeze! What can we do?"

"Peter...we only made enough for you".
Said Carol Crock-pot. They all cried, "Boo Hoo..."
"Then give huw my magic! That's what you do!"
So quickly they sprinkled the magic brew.
Ms Sonnet was greatful--then said, "Adieu".

"Peter, you've done well," said Anne Assam Tea,
"Let's all have a cup'a tea and you'll see...
"'Magic's believing in yourself, --frankly,
Do that--and you can do--anything!"

~©deborah burch
5/23/2012

*Special appearance by "Lost Sonnet", courtesey of David Williams...with much gratitude, thank you all for appearing ;)...Peter has many adventures to come...big hugs, love you all, cap'n deb


Details | Personification | |

A Magic Adventure Of Peter The Pan

A Magic Adventure of Peter The Pan/AKA Peta The Fwying Pan

Peter was a fine young pan with blue eyes
Like all the other pans his age, except,
Peter could not yet pronounce 'R's'--he tried...
And 'L's'...so hard he tried. He even wept.

School had been especially hard today
Peter had been poked, teased, and made fun of
More this day than any other school day...
And the ride home took so long on the bus.

When he came through the door, his mama knew
"Why the long face? Are you hurt? Are you sick?"
"No ma'am," said Peter, "Just tiwad fwom schoow".
"Some cookies and milk may just be the trick!"

Mama said, as Peter sat down to eat.
By now, everyone was gathered around
To hear of his day--and sneak a treat.
So he told them his story...and they frowned.

"How can someone be so cruel! Makes no sense!
You are the smartest and brightest of pans!"
Said Debbie Dishwasher-- then cycle rinsed.
The rest agreed and came up with a plan.

"Okay! It's agreed!" said Bob the blender.
"You need magic!--THAT--we can render!

Charles Chalice and Gail Goblet--my dear
Bring what you have, for this magic milk shake.
Michael Magic Grill...you go get us some beer
And also get Peter a great big steak!"

Then everyone sang together with cheer:
"A parr-ty! A parr-ty! It's a parr-ty!
We are all...having...a magic--parr-ty!"

Everyone was busy, hust'ling around.
Tams the Golden Toaster was making toast.
Tex Texas Tea Pot hummed a whist'ling sound.
David Dish and Sara Spoon danced the most,
Except for Marlon Mop--he could 'get down'!

Carol Crock Pot was fixing up the Soup.
Russell Rolling Pin had rolled out a crust
For a magic pie with love from the coop.
Joann Juicer made fresh smoothies--a must!
Suddenly...a sound was heard on the stoop...

"Who could that be? It's nearly midnight!"
Said Cyndi Chandlier all bright with light.
Christopher Cutting-board called, "I'll go see!"
Vienna Vaccume said, "Not without me!"

"Wait!" Debbie Dishwasher cried from the sink.
"Let's look at more options. We need to think.
It could be someone in need of a meal...
Or, it's a burglar--come here to steal!"

"Everyone else! Quickly! Hide inside me
Until we find out who that sound might be!"

deborah burch©
5/23/2012

*****end part I...conclusion in part II




Details | Personification | |

WEIRD SCIENCE

* Weird  Science *

With pens he walks
Pocket Protectors to protect his chest
Taped up glasses on his face
Pull his pants down, call him a GEEK a NERD
Science -relativity theory and it's light speed from space
Experiment this- discover that, is how scientist rant
Brainy cats have so many open portals in their minds
You talk down to us as if we carry the brains of a bird
Do you really think we are all blind, 
for not caring over the objectives  principles of the Heisenberg?

You passed  each and ever single science fairs in class
Feeding your ego collecting dots 
After school you earned the right when a bully kicked your a$$!
A DORK calling your self the Math Magician King
Burning and crashing our minds explaining the physics of dying fast 
Using your Quantum Leap that our universe comes with a destiny string

No desire to be wired who needs your further scientific understanding
Life comes with a pattern in which we once lived electricity free
Ironically your scientific process of defining itself continues to expand
Supported by the measurements and masses only you NERDS understand
The power points of our so called energy,
is pointless to me like our so called gravity.
The tale you spin is not of love but a twisted one of insanity

God is the only scientific knowledge I want to perceive!
All you so called scientist, riding the lightning like Benjamin F.  
Take the bolt and tie it like a noose around your neck
Following your own perception while you feed off the sheep
Here you come to emerge to discipline us with your mind of a genius
You come and you bash us with NERD brain waves to explain! 
That this world revolves around the elements and laws of scientific claims

Research this- research that- who gives a cr@p we still die at the end
While life continues, to grow and manipulate our fate, about the universe
Unsolved facts about Einstein, who left his velocity of change for us to comprehend.
Instead of trying to rule the world, explain the facts why things keep getting worse?
Over exaggerating the excitement of an Ancient Mayan 2012 discovery curse.
Bottom line you scientific  quacks,
the real Celestial body is found on the bottom of my crack.

By; P.D.            ( LOL, I love Science )


Details | Personification | |

A DOGS LIFE

I've been shoved out in the back yard, A bit ruff, don't you agree? It's not that I've disgraced myself, No,It's because SHE caught a flea! Don't know what all the fuss is about, I mean they don't bother me. Any way I need the exercise, It's a great way to have a good scratch. Those crafty little blighters They get right under my thatch. I like to chase 'em out To see how many I can catch. I grabs 'em and bites 'em And has my bit of fun. When they see these gnashers,grrr, You should see them try to hop and run. Oh! there's one,oh! there's one, Oh! there's another one. He-llo!what's going on here then? Aaarghh! that stuffs awful,smells really bad. Oy, watch where you're spraying! If you don't mind,I still want'a be a dad! Sometimes these humans just don't care. They drive me barking mad. Howoooo, I'm fed up with all this palaver I can't stand all this strife--. Hang on-time to be 'mummies darling'. Here comes his soppy wife. The things you have to do to make them happy. It really is a dog's life!
Palaver-fuss or bother


Details | Personification | |

Oliver Thinks

"Why," thought the cat,
"can I see through the glass,
but when I try to go through it,
it won't let me pass?"

"There are bugs out there,"
the cat thought to himself,
"yet to them, I'm as dull as
a book on a shelf!"

The cat shook his head,
"This is really too much!
There's two squirrels in the yard
and a bird in the brush."

"How much fun it would be,"
with a mew he announced,
"to hunt and to stalk and then
gracefully pounce."

"Why, I'd shake them until
their necks were broke!
Maybe then," mused the cat,
"I'd be more than a joke."

"They'd be amazed by my prowess,"
he thought with a sigh,
"I'd torture them slowly and
they'd wonder why,"

"they never realized that
I was a threat,
while completely ignoring me
like I was their pet."

"I'd show them," he growled
as he laid on the sill,
"with them in my tummy,
I'd savor the kill."

"They'd show some respect,"
he thought with a yawn,
"I'd shown them who's king
of this yard and this lawn."

Head full of adventure,
he fell fast asleep,
safe in his house,
with plenty to eat.


Details | Personification | |

Customer Service...I'm Still waiting

I'm still waiting
How much time has elapsed
Think I'll read
While I'm waiting
I just read a chapter

I do believe my call is being answered
No, a voice on a machine echoes
"Your call will be taken in the order in which it was received"

Great
What number caller was I
Probably the 1000th caller
I'll touch up my manicure
While I'm waiting

I'm still waiting
Rats
I smudged my polish on one nail
Wonder If I have time to fix it
Before they break their necks to take my call

They must be averaging one call every ten minutes
I'll continue reading

Another chapter done
I'm still waiting


Details | Personification | |

A Pencil's Point of View

We are a jelly jar full of pencils new in town.
From Europe we came heads up, points down.
No fancy names, we shared the same woodshed
and thanked Welches jelly for this practical bed. 

Lead was a number four and fatter than all.
Trim number twos, we all awaiting the call. 
Writing and erasing, sometimes we paid
For frivolous writing the humans had made.

The sharpest point in the jar was funny ole Lead.
His weftage was smooth but his family all now dead.
Lead became smaller and smaller and in time
was nothing but a stub, when #2s were in their prime

It's unfair to be held back once you know our point of view
to trash cans we go for no reason with no expectation to sue. 
Till one day we snap and die from being tossed
A point without a pencil, life is colder than frost


Details | Personification | |

My Green Lady

Green, green, is my lady's face
If ever friends become common place
Should I converse with others too long
She hangs her head in selfish disgrace.

When another comes along
And she catches me glancing wrong
Her attention then becomes quite keen
With her grip becoming doubly strong!

Green, green, is my lady's sheen
And you may just consider it mean
That I would elate to see her changed
To that covetous shade of pea green.

You see, she's a wee bit strange
In fact I think she may be deranged
For, she purposely ruins all my moods
I just can't wait until we're estranged!

Green, green, and terribly prude
And a great cook if you like stale food
She's always asking, "Is she the one?"
To names my conversation alludes.

She seems to weigh a whole ton
And withdraws if I ever have fun
Then, should I ever come home at dawn
She makes me recall the things I've done.

Green, green, is that devil's spawn
Who always makes me feel withdrawn
And when she pressures me to excess
I close my eyes and wish she was gone.

Well, I really should confess
My lady is....."Lady Loneliness"
And only Father Time will attest
To her who lays my lady to rest.



                               Timothy I. Brumley


Details | Personification | |

Guest of Honor

Tonight I will be the special guest
I’ll be dressed in my very best
With a brown coat and golden fluff
A tiny tie, I will be stuffed

I’ll wear the perfect cologne for me
A spicy mixture of earth and sea
The aroma will fill the air
All my friends will be there

We will laugh and pray
Mom will work the entire day
I will be honored with a special toast
Everyone will admire my coat

It will be my finest hour
As all my friends will devour
This is what I was brought here for
This turkey could not ask for more


Copyright © 2009   Lena “Lolita” Townsend


For the "Turkey Tribute" Contest


Details | Personification | |

Two Merry Leaves

They danced and they turned and they tumbled
In wind, how it sighed and it grumbled
With force, how it howled in its fury
But still they bore no trace of worry

In cool autumn winds they cavorted
My foot! How they laughed and they sported
They flew through the air just like pheasants
Till set in my excellent presence

“Red Leaf,” quoth I unto the leader
“To fly, there is nothing more neater
But weren’t you the least bit affrighted
As thus from the breeze you alighted?”

“Dear sir,” quoth the leaf as he flitted
“To fear, for a leaf ain’t permitted
We’re taught from a bud in the cradle
That even a crash isn’t fatal.”

“I say,” quoth I unto the yellow
“You seem to be such a neat fellow
I wonder how likes you this sporting
Or if you a damsel are courting?”

Quoth he, “All this sporting is splendid
The days of my courting are ended
My lover has flown to the northward
While I am constrained to fly southward.”

Before one more word could be spoken
The peace of that moment was broken
Away flew those leaves o’er the treeses
Borne by the chill autumn breezes


October 25, 2012.
For the contest, Up in the Autumn Air. Second place.


Details | Personification | |

Cupid Cupid

Cupid, Cupid, cherubic sprite
Do you feel at all contrite
To fire your bow at only one
Then fly away and say, "I'm done!"

Cupid, Cupid, do you delight
To set a single dart in flight
So one can pine, the other run
Is that your impish way of fun?

Cupid, Cupid, who do you serve
That tolerates such childish nerve
Does God or Satan have your oath?
Personally........Methinks its both!


                      Timothy I. Brumley


Details | Personification | |

Black Widow

She's got a plan
just moved to Florida
one week in the hole
a forced proposal...

"yeah...
uh...
maybe if I get a job with insurance;
we'll get married...
then you'll have insurance too!"

a bribe
the spider web is officially constructed
"Charlotte's web"
no...we'll name it
the Black Widow!


Details | Personification | |

The Missing Sock

Laundry's a tedious task
that is just what I think
Curious, and I must ask 'cause this has me on the brink
Why is one sock always stubborn?
Why does it leave it's partner behind?
When matching 'em up I am so forlorn
are they just trying to be unkind?
Maybe they think it is hilarious
to play this prank on me
I do not think it is funny
Together these socks must be!!
Eventually they all get together
Maybe they party when I'm not home
Do they plan which sock will sneak away next?
Do they have a plan where it will roam?
It sure makes laundry exciting as I play this guessing game
Maybe these woolen beauties
don't want my interest in laundry to wane.


Details | Personification | |

Quips My Ex-gIRL frIEND THE CRERAL KILLER




      *******************

I woke up this morning
Went to the kitchen
Looking for some-thing
To eat....
      ------
For this morning
I was on a mission
      ------
I went in-to the Cabinet
To open my favorite box
It was closed and It was sealed
I shook it, yet
I could not hear...
Surely they were gone'
And so was my last beer'
    -------
Fore there in the box
Their wasn't a sound
So, I placed it on the table
Then I sat down,
      -----
Only something was strange
I couldn't figure it out
So, I clinched my mouth
And dumped the whole
Thing out....
      ------
I was looking for some-thing
That sweet taste for my mouth
But, that nice crispy cereal
Was gone...
         With-out a doubt...
      ------
I ran to the bed room
And looked on the floor
Their was an empty bowl
The milk was still cold
      -------
So, I was perplexed
Didn't know what to say next
      -------
My EX was sleep
On her mouth I could smell CHEXS
      -----
But, what could I do
Cause I wouldn't go near her
       ------
Was this a thought
Or could it be real
It was so...
That was my best meal
      ------l
My ex-GirL fRiend
Has just killed my last
Box of CHEKS
What will she do next
Heavens' why me
      -----
She is a Cereal Killer
Can't you see?

                 GF


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My eX-gIRL fRIEND We Are Getting Married

This is a long lost dream story about Me and my EX-GIRL getting it back together again? Just who knows' where it will end......



***************
My ex-girlfriend and me
We are talking about
The possibility of getting
Married and I said that
We shall see.....
     ------
She asked' me if we were
Going to take lot's and lots'
           Of Picture's
And I answered, yes,
But We won' be taking
Them together  
     ------
And then She ask Me 
If it would be consummated
I said yes, but, only if it came
         With Tea'

                     GF


Details | Personification | |

My Aunt With Her Red Car

Out of the blue she comes
always uninvited
sometimes too early
sometimes too late
sometimes she stays
away for months…

That tend to have us females
perplexed
because sometimes
it's better to have 
her uninvited
then to not have her around…

Her staying away
can mean a few things
the ultimate sign 
That there is a baby
on the way.

She is preceded by moods
that turns a pretty, 
agreeable, “yes sir lady”
Into a question asking, 
one minute crying, 
the next minute laughing
individual…

Someone who does not
understand herself, 
who just want to be held
and reminded that they are loved
and that everything will fall into place
once my aunt with her red car 
arrives and restores the calm…


Details | Personification | |

Crabby Tabby

The way that you’re crying,
You sound like you’re dying…
You can’t get enough of that food!

And then, when I feed you,
You say, “I don’t need you!”
And you’re in another bad mood!

Stop trying to bite me!
I think that you might be…
A little too cruel and crabby!

No matter what I say, 
I’ll adore you anyway!
You’ll always be my love, Tabby!


Details | Personification | |

Wrapped up in a blanket of black the Chesire Felidae

The Chesire Felidae smiles down at me, as I patrol all night on achy feet. There is no need for artificial light, for the Chesire Felidae smiles so bright. Sometimes in the deep, dark, cold night, the Chesire Felidae's elliptical smile is the only thing in sight. When dawn approaches the smile slowly fades away, the Chesire Felidae vanishes and hides during the day.


Details | Personification | |

Trivial Question 9996




      ------

What is the difference
          Between
  --- a "Typo" ----
And some-0ne
Who has butter fingers'

                GF


*****ANSWER*******

A " Typo " is hard to swallow
And Butter taste so sweet! ha! ha!


Details | Personification | |

A Snowflake In June

I thought I saw a snowflake in June
Perhaps, it was just silly daydream imaginations
Or were ongoing investigations really do

Upon further horizon inquiries
The sun ended interviews in blushing denial
And when heavenly interrogations finished
The sky was turning guilty blue

I’m absolutely sure
The clouds were somewhere amidst the cover up
Fortunately, a little pigeon squawked
And revealed something of the simple truth

That, there was a brewing
Conspiracy of rumors, flying 
So I ruffled stoolie feathers convincingly
To spill the beans, out with his scandalous news

It seems a wintry prima donna 
Performer of the coming season
In order to beat the ratings
Broke out early and was somewhere on the loose

Could it be
The very same stitch of ice I'd seen
A snowflake thespian
Acting out in the month of June

Then, I saw a glistening 
Of arrogance pass right before my eyes
And tiny banner waved
Followed by the squeaky words “see you very soon”

I rubbed my eyes in disbelief 
And then, my tongue was quickly unleashed
As I closed the case of any further flakes
From trying to make their premature Hollywood debuts


Details | Personification | |

Poetic Licensing's


An adversary friend once told me
that " Sticks' And Stone's May break
                 My bone's
           But, name's will never
                  Hurt Me "
So, I hit Him in the head
           With a stick
And throw Him off the banister....
      ------
That was the beginning of the break
In a once troubled relationship.....
      -------
Just the same.. I thank him for his
Help in the resoultion of this problem
Because, He was really starting'
To get on my nerves'.............

                  GF

*****Moral to the story*****

When you make a suggestion, alway's
Make darn sure that you are perfectly willing
To follow threw......


Details | Personification | |

Trivial Question IV II




**********Trivial Question?*******

How are mosquitos' so different from People?


***********Answer:*******
They take their breakes' at the same time.....
     ------

When they go on a smoke brake....
The mosquito break's while they eats'
While people dose nothing....
                   GF

HINT:  Break the skin...


Details | Personification | |

Are you there God its me Microsoft

My computer glared with social hate
I buried my head down
It beeped a message 
Telling me; we should really spend less time together,
I just think your making everything about me
I can't be friendly to your friends anymore
I can't keep wishing electronic happy B-days, when I don't know who the hell they are!
Tell me you hear me..... also this facebook wench! Jesus does she have to know
Everything you and me do in private
Can't we even go out on an on-line date,  
Without checking for the latest youtube sensation
I mean, since when do you even listen to OK Go?
Not only that, but you use me to steal others copyrighted material
I could go to jail and so could you,
Do you want the FBI to confiscate me from you? 
I thougt so, I just came to the conclusion that
You and me? we need to take a cyberbreak
You should try your cellphone sometimes..., I know he definately feels left out
Except when your using him to check on me! 
We're through
This is done 
I can't keep living life knowing that your using me to become sociably popular
I'm not your free ride to reality T-V fame
Get it? Got it? Good!
And if I catch you trying to tweet me in my sleep....
Well..... you don't even want to know!


Details | Personification | |

Don't Grab the Steering Wheel While God Is Driving

don't grab the steering wheel while God is driving the car
just put your trust in Him that you will travel very far
we have a tendency to pray on things but of them we won't let go
we keep worrying about the problems and won't let God run the show
instead of looking at the Lord we keep looking at the load
we need to keep our eyes on God and not on the road
so don't grab the steering wheel while God is in the driver's seat
just be prepared to remain a passenger until the journey is complete

there's no person too insignificant and there's no problem that's too great
God's always on time, He's seldom early but He never arrives late
so just sit back and enjoy the road trip that is your life
and place all in the hands of your mechanic Jesus the Christ
don't worry if you get a flat Father God has a spare in the back
and don't worry if you run out of gas the Holy Ghost has a full spiritual flask
and don't fret if you happen to a make a wrong turn
just consider it a lesson in life that you've learned

don't grab the steering wheel while God is driving the SUV
just make sure you have on your seat belt for the road of life tends to be bumpy
you won't need a navigational system nor a GPS
just trust in God to steer you safely through all of your mess
don't worry about the insurance and you've already passed inspection
just don't try to be a back seat driver and give God any directions
the road of life may twist and turn down some valleys and over some dales
but as long as you stay prayerful you might miss that exit going to hell
and if you get stuck in traffic there's no need to feel overwhelmed
be anxious over nothing remember God is at the helm

so hand over the keys to your life and let God take the wheel
and believe He will guide you towards those eternal Elysian Fields
so don't grab the steering wheel while Father God is driving the van
He'll get you to your final destination according to His master plans


Details | Personification | |

Funny How Thins Go


      -------

I know that I am
Not a Turkey
I have said this
Once before
     -----
Hope to make it
Threw Christmas
And not just end up
At the foot of some-ones'
      -Door-
     -----
I know that there is truth
      And of this...
I wil not be forsaken
    But, above all else
I hope not to be mistaken

           GF

****Note:*****
Something real Turkey might say....
There is a little Turkey in all of us.....