1. My ex-girlfriend tried to impress me when
She told me that she is "Fasting"! And I knew
That she was true because, I saw just how
Fast she ate that basket of chicken.......
2. The next time that she told me that she was "Fasting"
It was three (03) double meat Whoppers! And I have never
Seen three (03) double meat Whoppers go so quicK......
3. My ex-girlfriend was so upset! She explained that when
She was young that she could bounce a dime
Off of her butt. Only now, when she bounce the same dime
It only flops!
So, I looked on the bright side and told her that now she can
Bounce a quarter on her belly button and it only drops!
4. The last time that I saw her, she was "Fasting" on a
box of cookies.
* And boy, those (03) box's of cookies sure went fast!
Explanation: That is none sence and no one got fat in the making of this pun!
4. I just hate it when my ex-girlfriend call's me! Usually I keep my
cell phone on vibrate and in my front pocket. My EX-friend
Know's this. She also, know's that I have a bladder problem! Every time
she blow's up my phone it make's me pee!
I know that I hate it, but she give's me such a warm feeling and I take
what I can get!
5. My ex-girlfriend is so stupid that she can't ever give me a piece of
her mind! She has to get an substitute..... Ha! Ha! Ha! He, He, He!
6.My ex-girlfriend, She alway's cut me short!........ She wanted to give
me a piece of her mind, buy, she didn't have enough brain cell's left! Ha! Ha!
Feel the Joke! Uh!
1. When you "Pass Gas" and you know you did........
And no-body heard it........ Is it proper to wait for someone
to smell it first, before you say, excuse me..........
Is it really too late....... That is what my girlfriend doe's!
* I would just blame it on a friend!
Moments To Share:
My ex-girl friend and I were discussing a poem that I wrote! She told
me that it was an perfect oxymoron.......
I told her that she was just a moron!
Words' To Live by:
I was trying to explaine my mis-giving's to my EX-girlfriend......
I told her that the problem was, not that I really love you, because
I don't! The problem is that I just can't get you out of my mind!
You have my soul, but you have your fate
Whatever your words, I’m willing to take
You have my word; I’ll give you my breath
It’s like a chain that would never be break
You are my love with all my heart,
I’ll fight for you with all my might.
And in the way, you admire your goals,
You hold my hands, but not so close.
As you go to your chosen path,
I’ll accept the fact that we will be apart.
In the dark side, I leave behind
Within my faith, that you’ll arise
Please don’t look back, coz I’m fighting still
I’m hurting so much! Don’t want to have you near
I accept my fate for what it does,
I’m bleeding so much, do you know for whom it was?
You reach your goals, as you want to have,
Would you remind the man that gave what he had?
As you reach the stars, and be the one
Be a sun that shines its own.
After the rain, the rainbow comes,
Like dark in the moon, when the light flash
A glimpse from you at least a short
For then I knew my pain is worth.
His message to Mankind was divine love, much louder than
the desert wind hissing through the tall palm trees;
they heard Him, but sadly contempt built up when
they defiled the Temple by selling and trading instead of praying on their knees...
so Jesus got the whip and the lame and the blind cried out the word, " Hosanna! "
Christ was the faithful servant who was scourged, derided and crucified,
now, is the friend of all who believe in Him, not in a sinful world....
the Redeemer who carried the heavy cross to Calvary and died;
His resurrection was a victory over death making Him the eternal Lord!
Who besides Him is more worthy of God His Father, are we?
Anytime Jesus prayed, He finished that prayer with this holy word, " Hosanna! "
Nothing has changed...it was an unjust and mean world, and so it will be;
they lived for lust, power and money getting greedier than Judas who chose death;
find that good soul that resembles Jesus...is it that poor man who seeks mercy?
We can gather much gold, make him a crown and place it on his bruised head!
And while he sits there waiting for compassion, his feeble voice proclaims," Hosanna! "
All nations strive for supremacy, making useless and massive weapons so destructive,
they have no love for their neighbors...they hate peace and every beautiful place;
we have made it to this century...will others see a tomorrow not dark and delusive?
Pray like Jesus did and put your fate in the hands of the Almighty who's grace!
No joy or possession is greater than faith...get up, look up and shout, " Hosanna! "
I know she doesn't like me at all
I can see it
I can feel it
I know she wants me to fall
To fail in life
To have all the strife
She's been telling wicked things about me
She treats me like something she can't see
She is but a witch
born to give dark colors to the fairytale of my life
She doesn't talk to me
And if she would, it would be in most brutal way
I don't want to look like an enemy
But she's been making me hate her more
I tried my best to make friends with her,
But she closes her door..
I tried to reach and understand
But she wont give me a single chance
Can you please give me an advice on what to do?
I don't want to sin against Heaven, but she's turning me into a devil one.
My anger wont subside, it lasts forever.
And if she remains her stupid attitude
I could get a dagger and stab her up..To kill her is easy
But i won't do that
I may be in the state of hatred but i still have a conscience.
Please reply to this ode for this is a real life situation.
There really is someone i hate so much and her name is Fia
I need your advice. Thanx
it's hard to hate someone
you've held in your arms
someone you've kept warm
someone who's feed at your breast
someone who day by day you dressed
it's hard to hate someone you've feed
or for that someone
bedtime stories you have read
someone you've brought joy
with a little dolly or a toy
it's hard to hate when you
remember the joy
it's hard to hate someone
who's arms wrapped around your leg
that made crayola pictures of mom and dad
it's hard to hate what we once had
even though the out come is sad
but over all the love that drives me mad
is the one thing i have
that forever makes me glad