These Humorous Narrative poems are examples of Narrative poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Humorous Narrative poems written by international PoetrySoup poets
Jake took to the stage, limping with a leg brace
And more than a mere trace of fear on his face
The humorous speech competition was on
He’d made it to finals, prior contests he’d won
Jake’s lifelong bout with muscular dystrophy
Generated sadness and much empathy
He shook and stammered as he started his speech
Competitors thought his composure he’d breach
“Stage fright is shared by many,” the boy explained
And as he began, his eye contact seemed strained
We wanted to rush to his side, offer aid
Little did we know Jake’s point was being made
He’d soon have us laughing at the “crutches” WE use
To gain confidence when stage fright ensues
“I’m picturing you all naked,” he laughed, smiled
Soon his sharp wit had us rolling in the aisle
His strength and courage built fast as he spoke
Jake finished up with a memorable poke:
“You thought I would fail; I read it in your eyes
Seeing only my handicap, I realize.
Those who can’t see beyond disabilities
Are mired in self fear; YOU have MY sympathy.”
Out of four thousand entrants, Jake took first place
Impressing us all with his wisdom and grace
Oh, how we all cheered when his win was announced
Jake’s humor skills were by far the best pronounced
Today Jake coaches a college debate team
Having mastered the art of building esteem
*I was fortunate to see Jake give his amazing speech at the national collegiate speech and
debate finals in Niagara Falls. Like many others, I had feared he was truly
experiencing “stage fright.” But he used his humor to make us see that people often exceed
beyond the abilities others think they have. If he didn’t see himself as “disabled,” why
should anyone else? And what tremendous success he’s had in his career! His message had
a profound impact on a lot of other college students.
Under the microscope we are under watched by a near by species
For some reason they think we are a life form that takes it to easy
Over the years we were abducted; that was a mistake the aliens became uneasy
Unique in several ways we are human and that they see we are strange
Fooling them we act very hostile yet our mindset needs be rearrange
Opening our minds they started to look, but our minds seems to weird and derange
Upset, the aliens take our species to try to understand
Freaks of nature we seem to gather with costumes and sounds of band
Old as time they been coming to our planet and this is what they found, like us, land
Unrelenting we humans seem to focus on a different path
Feelings we have the aliens do not understand what we have
Odd we are, we are the only species in the galaxy that really know how to have a bath
Unrealizable that we do adore the stars and lights in the sky
From all our studies we look up and see the lights that make our world, we cry
Only now we reason with the aliens we are fools in our world and we sigh
Miss Scarlet was driving her car across town.
She had a meeting with Professor Plum at the library .
It was regarding a paper she had written in the study at home.
About the life of Colonel Mustard and the revolver he carried during the war.
Mrs. White was on her way to the school.
She had just left the kitchen,she forgot to put the knife away.
So she slipped it in her purse, she had colored eggs baskets for her students.
It was near Easter and she was driving to the ballroom to set up for the party.
Now, Mrs. Peacock was angry.
She had brought a rope to use to tie up the hole in the hutch.
Her prize bunnies were escaping, her best sales were during Easter time.
She needed to secure the hutch so that no rabbits would escape.
Mrs. Peacock put a wrench in her purse to secure the bolts on the hutch.
Well nobody knows what really happened next, they can only surmise.
All they know is the rabbit was lying in a pool of Easter eggs and baskets.
Three cars were totaled in the accident, all of the women died.
What was peculiar was what else they saw.
A wrench,a rope, and a knife, were found at the scene.
No one had a clue as to where, how, or why?
In the meantime, Professor Plum was in the Library with the revolver.
She smiles all day she thinks it' s o.k.
She makes weird sounds and it's all day
My Aunt I asked will you not make that silly sound today?
My Aunt looked at me and said why? she always say
In public she snorts when she laughs and I get that
But when things get out of hand she scares my the cat
I have a cat but my Aunt well she kinda sat
Poor little cat it was now a furry little mat
I get really mad at her, but she seems to make me smile
Because one day we walked, she sang me a song about a mile
I was happy because she ran out of gas at last
She also could not speak at all, and that was a blast
Although she could not speak
She kept smiling she once never look bleak
My Aunt Willy who's Silly is the person who never does things in half's
I can not express any louder she makes me smile with laughs
These here are the facts, very nearly true,
all about this lady I knew who
ate kale. She thought it was good for you.
Of course she grew quite mad, but that's not all,
she grew far less short than she grew tall,
and had more than a little way to fall.
So when she became not wholy sober,
one day, one month, before October,
surprise, surprise ... she toppled ober.
She claimed to be only a clumsy goose
but did she get so tight her gait got loose
from that old familiar juice abuse?
And ought her mother have taught her daughter
to be more erect and grow more shorter
and to eat less kale and drink more water?
Veggies, veggies, I sure love my veggies
Just about any that you can name
A salad a day for more than two years now
You'd think I would tire of 'em but hey, not me
Still the best meal of the day
With my favourite Poppy Seed Dressing
What could be better
A meal fit for a king, hmmm maybe not
A kings feast is comprised of raw meat
With beautiful slave girls standing by
Waiting to grant me my every wish
Hmmm! That sure sounds pretty good to me
How does one become king
Is there some exam you have to pass
I'm a pretty smart cookie
Should pass it with flying colours
Would like a crown of solid gold
Bedazzled with rubies and sapphires
An ermine cloak and dazzling rings on every finger!
Am I overdoing it, you think
This all started out talking about veggies
Did you noticed at what point it started down a different path
Oh well back to boring old veggies
Somehow they've lost their appeal
Gotta leave you now
Going to take than exam to hopefully become king
Veggies, veggies, veggies!
© Jack Ellison 2014
If this old guy gets to Heaven one of these days
He'll surely be watching you peeps
So be advised you guys better behave yourselves
My guys will be on standby ready to straighten you out
And you surely wouldn't want that
They are called angels but don't let the name fool you
They can really be quite scary
Betcha you had no idea
You thought all angels were angelic like
These guys were once 'angels' for Al Capone
So you have been forewarned
© Jack Ellison 2014
She walks into the bedroom wearing a French maid outfit and fish net black nylons
Her eyes are burning with mischief, as she slithers close, two shapely legs like pylons
“I bought you a little surprise my darling, won’t you be a sweetie and try it on for me”
I struggle to keep my composure, “What is it honey, another pair of Tarzan underwear?”
“No silly, it is something for “old Charlie” she winks and giggles like a naughty school girl
She’s wearing my favorite perfume, Coco Channel, and she has curled her flaxen hair.
I’m about the grab the bag but she stops me “Na ha, no baby, you must go wash first?”
I return clean. Old Charlie is now freshened up and baby powdered, to her liking.
We slide beneath the silky sheets, and I feel her hand searching for “Old Charlie”
“SSH don’t say a word, Darth Vader!” She jumps out, and as I get up to chase her I notice
I’m wearing a thin rubber sheath and dam it all, it glows in the dark! She teases me slowly
“Common Dark Vader, arise, Princess Leia needs to get some!” Well Old Charlie is now
Hard up for some fun, and you know what, Princess Leia will get when he catches her?
A glowing stick, that is ready to make her perky tassels go, Yes! Yes! Yes !
November 18, 2013
For Charlotte's Contest.
E-Z Glo Punk, Lightning Flash,
TNT Devices will burst, do crash
Southern Night, Piccolo Petes
are hard to beat...
I like hand held Sparklers, Tanks
flashing fountains, Solar Flare
Six to #20 Gold I have to share,
no incidence, no burns, thanks...
Whistles blow, fountains glow,
pop'n sounds, entire sky all aglow
I love those colors, high an low
trails eched onto my retina
inspired me to let ya know
Now you close both eyes
in pitch dark, what a surprise
for you to see, right there
darkness, absolutely anywhere
beautiful trails of lights in motion
"Always read a label of caution"
A hank of damp hair hangs limply on her forehead. With the back of a work reddened hand she brushes it from her face. From the galvanized tub before her, she withdraws a well worn shirt from the murky water and places it on the weathered washboard. With lye soap in hand, she scrubs the sweat stained collar, stopping only to assess her progress. Her back aches from the stooped position she maintains.When finished, she carries them to the clothesline in the yard.
She is alone, free to occupy her mind with random thoughts. Things to do, always so many things to do. Things she has done or would like to . She allows herself a little flight of whimsy, thinking back to the days of her youth. She was pretty then. At least, the boys told her she was and she never corrected them. She would use her impish smile to flirt and lead them on. She would watch them try to outdo each other, acting the fool to gain her attention. Like the time Bobby Edson brought her a bouquet of goldenrod although he was allergic to the weed. She allows herself a quiet chuckle as she remembers him standing there, eyes watering, nose running, and trying so hard to be a man.
But that was long ago. Many years since William, her sweet William, with slicked down hair, starched shirt, and Sunday suit, stuttered through a request for her hand. And how, on her wedding day, he had borrowed his daddy's old Ford for their one night honeymoon at the hotel in town, only to have it break down a mile from the house, and William walking back to get some help. Such a tragedy then, yet so humorous now.
Where did those days go? When did life lose it's luster and become so predictable. All the years, one day stacked against another. Two boys, grown now, out in the fields with their dad. Truth is, William would not be able to do it without them, but don't try to tell him that. While his body may have weakened, as has hers, their real strength lies within their love for each other. They have not been strangers to their share of heartbreak, as with the loss of their only little girl. But they have also
had their share of blessings too. Be thankful she muses. He won't give you more then you can handle.
The wayward curl again escapes and cascades down her face. Absently, she brushes it back in place, and with a last glance out to where a tractors dust rises in the field, she blows a kiss, and turns back toward the house.