Believing that marriage was ordained of God;
that, like a seed, it needed constant nurturing,
she sowed her deep devotion with a hope
that stretched beyond an ordinary scope.
That hope scanned schisms that had left her desolate-
until it reached the heavens with her prayers.
Time and time again, her spouse complained or failed to do small things
essential to cementing the marriage bond.
With unusual restraint, she held her tongue, forgave. . . and listened.
If matrimony were the fire in a hearth, she supplied the kindling and the logs;
then lauded him for twigs that on occasion he tossed in.
Some nights she’d lay a weary head upon the chest
of the one she called her husband (when he was fast asleep and didn’t know).
In those moments, she felt the beat of that heart he never showed to her.
With humbleness she supplicated God
that she might find connection with her mate.
She wondered and she wondered why. . .if thoughts, invisible,
which were transmitted to the Lord, were able to be recieved by Him,
why could not her words, directly spoken to the one on earth she loved, be heard?
Daily on her knees, she telegraphed celestially with a faith most extraordinary. . .
and wisdom came. Her love would not be broken, and she grew.
The seed she’d planted took root too and grew until there came a time. . .
she laid a graying head upon the chest
of one that was her husband (not just in word only);
a someone who now watched HER as she drifted off to sleep.
With his heartbeat strong in her ear,
she heard him whisper softly, “I love you” as he kissed her cheek goodnight.
For Audrey Carey's "To Err Is Human to Forgive Divine"
I washed my white lace tablecloth and hung it out to dry
The bleach did the best it could-it was worth the try
'Though no one else can see, the stain still remains
As old as time itself
Stubborn as mildew rot
One false step, one careless word forever etched in time
Travels the universe, endlessly
In search of a place to rest
What would I not give to reverse that step
To retrieve that hateful word
Tread lightly in your daily walk, o'er hills and valleys in between
Plot well your steps and weigh your words
So you'll have nothing to regret, like the
Unkind words carved deeply upon your heart
I wash my white lace tablecloth again, again and again!
where were you when my world stopped moving?
your hands were there as instruments of pain
to inflict raw red burns and
wounds that lay hidden and bruised
on a child’s skin and…..
on tender hearts that can’t fight back
are you haunted buried six feet beneath…
as I shivered at night and grinded my teeth?
do you think of me and wonder what shreds
I managed to piece together of my tattered life?
tell me to let go and forget this hurt
that winds like poison ivy twisting
my heart into a mere tenth of what it could be
strangled in a mass of life eating lies
and mangled sorrowful soul songs
(mourning the sword slashes)
you never knew me and would you have cared
if you did…would you have wrangled with me
hanging on a hook while you dangled me
helpless and crying beneath a weeping moon
that still watches me with helpless eyes
(pity resting there)
a child is priceless
(innocence is worth more than gold)
and taking their lives
unforgivable….so I wonder…are you punished
do you cry in your darkness
knowing what you have done
will it pierce a naked sky with madness….
your cry? Or is any semblance of sanity gone
buried beneath your shawl of rabid dog bites
and sad listless body
wasting into the sun as it flows back to earth
going nowhere as I flounder in my own broken fate
(swimming upstream as I slowly drown)
loss cannot be retrieved.....for it is lost
and letting go
is my way of revenge on you ….
so I let go now…I am free of you…
and I toss it all back to you
careful when you catch it…it burns the skin
the hands of destiny are crying out to me
I pull that little girl out of darkness
and let her see the sunshine again
as she smiles in to the light and takes my grown up hand
and I will keep her safe from you
hate is poison and I let it go….it crushes me no more
your footsteps were crooked and a little off kilter
though I still tried to match your steps
your way of doing things was always a bit different
(detrimental to impressionable souls)
maybe you were not Mr. Brady or Leave it to beavers dad
but you were my dad…..and the only one I have….
through all the ruckus and the lunacy
I was a little girl who cried for you (while you cried)
through the tatter of ripped seams and too much whiskey
I whispered “its ok daddy” and I hurt for you….
so maybe you were never perfect in any sense….
and a round peg in a square hole trying to make a place
confused and confounded by life and its roller coaster ride
but I adored you in my broken heart (standing loyal)
through the crazy that you put me through
this one is for you daddy….and there is a silver lining
in every cloud that stings the sky…..beneath the rain
I have a smile I can toss to you through the downpour
and my small hands hold yours through the tempest
my eyes gazing up and watching each mistake you make
and loving you so much anyway…what else can I do?
His family had lived here all their lives untold and he had too.
His father had died when he was young and he vaguely remembered him.
Mom tried to cross the busy street which she had been warned.
She had instantly been killed as her family watched with horror and fascination.
No funeral just sadness as the machines whizzed by but the last of his kind remembers.
As a youth, he had run and played in these fields but steered away from the machines
as he had been warned.
The machines are fast and you must always watch for them and be clear.
The woods were loved as he chased the young females until they let him catch.
He had two of his own children but they had died at very young age.
And soon after, the big trucks came with the men that would be vilified.
They uprooted one hundred year old oak and built twenty homes.
Across the road where the field was, forty more were taken from his youth.
The last of his family had all been married out or were dead until he was alone.
And as he walked and looked, he was frightened and filled with grief.
He saw his mother standing gracefully at the top of the house filled field.
His brother and sister played until dusk when his mother would call and recall.
He ached where he ran and still he searched.
As the tear rolled away with those distant memories and the pain.
Slowed by the ache he laid his final time with grief.
And he knew he was the last and his youth died with him.
The last deer
He glances out the window,
And watches the sunset,
But he doesn’t see the beauty,
Nor the warm rays which,
Pierces through the glass,
Only the anticipation and,
Anxiety of a long night,
Carefully, he watches,
The colors change,
First the bright orange,
"God I pray this never ends…"
Filling with a deep red,
"Just a little while longer…"
Slowly softening to the,
Deceptive pinks and purples,
"Please, one more minute…"
Fading into the crimson black,
Which only night can bring,
Reluctantly, he gets ready for sleep,
Yet, knows it will never come,
He tossed and turns,
Half praying, half waiting,
Knowing what will happen,
In the way only a child can,
A light! It peeks through a crack,
In the door as a shadow floods the opening,
Quickly, the figure slips through the door,
And shuts it softly, but not without the,
Empty creak which has become so familiar,
The shadow climbs in beside him,
Touching his trembling leg, whispering,
“Hush little brother, it’ll be alright,
While I’m here, have no fear,
I’ll keep you safe tonight,”
He struggles and writhes,
Sadly knowing he will never,
Break the grip and prays to faint,
To loss all consciousness and,
Memory of that horrible night,
Just for one night without the pain,
Just for one night without,
The cold empty feeling,
Several years pass, too many to count,
A single call, one he had never expected,
He rushes to the hospital to find,
His tormentor for so many years,
Lying on a cold, hard bed,
Able to move, but only by pushing a button,
Able to speak, but only with a whisper,
He stays by him for weeks, caring for him,
Reading to him, watching over him,
Still suffering, still unable to move,
He takes his brother home,
The day goes on, moving slow as all,
The evening comes and he,
Watches once more as the sun sets,
Carefully watching, Orange to red,
Red to purple, and as the purple turns to black,
He walks into the room where his brother lies,
Slowly, he sits next to him, holding a pillow,
Stroking his head whispering,
“Hush big brother, it’ll be alright,
While I’m here, have no fear,
I’ll keep you safe tonight,”
The difference between right and wrong,
Can be hard to find,
But who’s there to see you,
When justice is blind?
A calm fell over me as I arose from my birth,
A hush falls over the Earth,
As if God had, once more given birth to a new Universe.
I looked up and thought I saw,
His bright smile reflected in the sun,
His angels were all dancing in glee,
Smiling and singing for you and for me.
I felt His Presence, oh! so near,
As if He was saying, "Oh my dears,
I love you so much I had to make,
New worlds for you to take".
And I thought, as His new day greeted me,
"What a kind and loving Father is He,
He greets us with a new World made from above,
and all He wants in return, is our Love."
My favorite of songs is The Old Rugged Cross.
The most tragic of days was the worlds’ greatest loss.
For sinners that day were all given their chance.
His Father in heaven could not even bear to look not even one glance.
Forgive them He prayed as His life’s blood ran down to the ground.
Can you picture Him there wearing that thorny old crown?
On that hill so far away, sad but precious memories were made.
Born of a virgin mother in the tomb He was laid.
Death could not hold Him, death would not last.
Three days in that tomb, so long ago, death too it would pass.
He arose and was seen by many it was said.
Our Savior arose from the grave and no longer was dead.
As He gave His final words to His apostles and friends.
He ascended to the clouds but they knew they would see Him again.
He made us a promise He would rule once again.
I feel that day is coming we’re reaching the end.
The prophecies that abound.
With each new day they seem to be coming unwound.
Are you ready my friend for the Millennium Reign?
Are have you sunk to wearing the mark worn by Cain?
Sacrifices my friend we all have to do.
Just look at Jesus and the sacrifice He made, was made just for you .
So on that hill so far away I kneel at the thought.
With His precious blood my cleansing was bought.
And what have we learned, or did He die just for nought?
I look to Jesus and His love I have sought.
He must come first in all that we do.
And when the day comes you’ll see I speak true.
From my heart to yours,
you are a precious man,
from the very first time,
I read your work,
it was not hard to understand.
The trials you endured,
the pain, and the tears,
you found your Saviour so near.
Let no man or woman,
who dwells on this earth,
spit on a heart so sweet,
all I can say,
is they have the nerve.
Walk tall my friend,
may the wind,
always push you forward,
and pray for the lost,
and the foolish cowards.
I don't know what was said,
or who is to blame,
forgive them dear friend,
and ask for the same.
We as a people,
have a journey of our own,
each, and everyone,
should know right from wrong.
Continue on your path,
you have much to do,
and remember the devil,
will use a few.
I call you friend,
as many here do,
and from my heart to yours,
I wish only the best for you.
Michael Jordan, you are a special kind of man.
One that I am proud to call my friend.......
One if ever needed would not turn his back...
I have never met you, but I can say,
actions speak very strong...for you are willing
to reach out, and help...to me, you have what it takes
to be a lighthouse for others....
Greet the little King,
who has been born in a cold manger
on the holiest of nights;
and by the glitter of a descending star,
He will spread peace in the land...
follow the shepherds and find that sight!
My gift to Him is my joyful song,
and with this clarinet I will usher in His coming...
walk side by side with the pretty angels and rejoice;
bring Him your gift, and surround Him with joy!
See the three Magi arriving on jewel-draped camels,
holding in their laps the gifts of His destiny.
A winter's night has always been completely bright,
every hill is hidden by darkness, but an heavenly light
appears across the frosty sky of Bethlehem, while divine
voices announce Emmanuel's glorious birth,
everyone wakes up and sees that star and follows it;
and where it stops, they find a baby without a crown.
Greet the Son of the Highest, the Wonderful Redeemer,
whom the Virgin Mary has borne in the humblest of places...
in the small town without a temple, or a palace for the Emperor,
where Mary and Joseph will train their child in Godly ways;
greet the little king, He will smile and invite you in,
and His smile will spread peace beyond the star-lit hill.
Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci
To what do we owe thee for the sacrifice of your son?
The shedding of His precious blood to show love for everyone.
The death of Christ was necessary to save us from our sin,
For the glory of our Heavenly Father, life and peace within.
The gift of salvation was our God's compassionate plan,
As He included all mankind from each and every land.
The emblem of the rugged cross was filled with suffering and shame,
But eternal life was God's purpose all in Jesus' name.
At first Jesus spoke not a word, as He hung there on the cross,
The propitiator for all our sins, so we would not be lost.
As the hour neared for Christ's death, He murmured a forgiving word,
He directed His wish and last request as He looked upon the Lord.
"Forgive them Father", Jesus said, "For they know not what they do",
Through pain and anguish, He stayed on the cross just to save me and you.
Jesus' mission was accomplished when He hung His head and died,
The nails driven in His hands and feet, two thieves hung by His side.
The victory of death was heartbreaking, and it seemed all hope was gone,
But now our Saviour Jesus Christ sits right hand on the throne.
What an awesome act of love, delivered with no charge or fee,
To God be the glory for all He's done, everlasting life is free!
I whisked the heavens for a soothing sign
Swirled moonlight of Luna’s crescent smile
Searching for redemption's last sinew
That a wounded love faithfully clings to
I asked the stars for strength of sterling sight
To illuminate the missteps of a fractured mind
Trapped in a glass garden of Eden’s broken heart
Fragrant pieces of her sorrow carved into mine
I tasted the poison of regurgitated resolve
Memories marinating on the tip of my teething tongue
But forgiveness does not dangle on unspoken words
Which need not be poetic, but merely heard
Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and
read Part 1 first so as to get the true gist of the poem and leave your comments here on the
Part 2 submission. Thank you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain
Me, Myself, and I... (continued)
“Your, (Or “Our”), symptoms seem to intermit
And the fact that “You’re,” (“We’re”), a hypocrite
Tis no wonder we’re having such problems with diagnosis”
Then “I” had an idea so grand
To dispense with this at my own hand
A self-inflicted coup de grace would be my prognosis
So while the “Me” and the “Myself” squabbled
With courage newly cobbled
“I” spotted the dresser drawer and made my run
With fingers fiercely fumbling
Whilst they continued grumbling
“I” produced from the depths of the drawer a shiny gun
And now my life, though ill-fated
Was soon to be vindicated
This would affect us all equally the same
Would be no myself or me
No you, him, us, or we
But an inclusive all would be to blame
It took me a moment to figure
Out the safety on the trigger
Then “I,” (or “Us”), prepared to do the dirty deed
Then the barrel found my temple
And as it settled into the dimple
A still small voice did my “selves” choose to heed
Hence a moment of clarity
Harkened me to posterity
And I thought what a legacy to leave behind
“Can’t we all find a way
To save this miserable day
And avoid a broken body for someone to find”
And then deep within my soul
I felt and heard a simple drum roll
And the differing sides of me just subsided
And with my mind now as one
I worked to get this all undone
The whole business of this stuff I derided
And tis now true of fact
That I survived this ordeal intact
And lived to raise my face unto the sky
And here now as it ends
I find I’ve made good friends
With the “Me”, the “Myself,” and the “I”
Thank you for taking the time to share in my poetry. Please feel free to leave your thoughts
or comments here on this page.
J. Scott Burns...
Things seems to be very clear,
When actually felt it is unclear,
What really seems to be clear,
May never ever be clear for ever.
Your help for others,
May be to be appreciated,
Or taken as what is called,
to be uncounted.
My question is clear,
Why the help for others,
Is sometime never appreciated,
However it is always delivered.
In response to ethics,
lingers in my mind the answer,
To help others is not to be recognised,
But it is to be called someone,
Who can be respected.
To all, continue to help,
Not to to be appreciated by others,
But to be respected by yourself.
Outside, there is a small trail
and six steps
separating me from those that pass on by,
Impossible, to hide, behind my ruby house coat
and synthetic flavoured...
bitterly savoured, morning coffee
An old man walks by,
paced, in slow - rhythmic strides
in order to balance three bags
his aluminum collection
Toes, emerging from the tips of his tattered shoes,
As he spies me
we engage in observations
He is courteous, as he desists,
lowers, his head in his travels,
continues to descend down the hill
around the corner of my house,
all I can hope for
Is that he does not rip my garbage apart.
JUST BEING NICE
It is not that you were lying
Something I do realize now
That you were simply trying
To just be nice, some ole how
Let me point out here what I see
I mistook your words of promise
As something that might actually be
Not a pile of dreams I hold as fondest
Those things you say right to my face
Like really dancing with me someday
Or taking me out to eat at a fancy place
It’s like you lead me on and that’s okay
Because your thoughts are meant for good
Saying what will keep me happy to be suffice
Not to intentionally hurt me, you never would
I understand now that you were just being nice
I bet you wish I could find something else to do
Like getting someone else to share my life with
I can only apologize for wanting to be with you
For my happiness with others was truly a myth
I appreciate and enjoy your company each day
I know your time given is at a very high price
As time is more valuable than money they say
So thanks for the time and for just being nice
Florence McMillian (Flo)
How does one cope with disappointment?
To know that you have become
your own worst nightmare.
To know that others do not see you
as you see you.
Maybe you thought you weren't
To find out that you are labeled
annoying, a jerk, a complete ass.
To look at yourself in the mirror
and hate who you have become.
To not even associate with the people
you have offended.
Not knowing if you can pick of the pieces
and move on.
Hoping that change can come quickly,
so that you do not feel as I do right now.
Not wanting to feel like this ever again.
Oh how frail is the life of mortals
Look at how our tongue treasures the taste of food
Without oxygen we die
We sleep as though we're dead
I've seen demagogs rising and falling
History hasn't been fair to their very great powers
In our virtues, our pride lights our vice
Oh such hypocrites at heart
Oh how our desires hook us like fish bones
Into doom we gleam
Until we see our fragile weakness on Earth
True repentance is just a dream
I've seen the Light I believe
The truth of God who lived as man
His sacrifice made me free
Oh such a hope of eternity I share
It was a cold and rainy night.
The stars were shining bright.
It seemed as if the world was at a pause and not a person was in sight.
I sat quietly in my car,
the sound of music I heard blasting from a far.
I opened my door,
stepped out slowly and looked around.
Now suddenly the music stopped,
not a word is heard, not even a sound.
I turned my head, looked over my shoulder,
I saw a woman running.
She was wearing a white gown.
I couldn't help but wonder why this woman running
flaunted such a frown.
I followed her footsteps,
I listened for the sound.
Running through the darkness,
one question came to mind,
Who would leave this woman?
Who would be so heartless?
How can someone leave her when she is so obviously distraught?
Abruptly a sound was heard.
I came to a stop.
I listened closely.
It was a gunshot.
Now fearful I stood.
I began to run as fast as I could.
I ran so fast, I could hear my heart beating.
I came upon my car and noticed a woman bleeding.
She was gasping for air.
Someone had shot her and left her to die there.
It was as if they didn't even care.
She reached for my hand,
whispered softly to me
"never trust a man"
At that moment her hand dropped.
I knew her heart had stopped.
I looked at her white gown now dripping red.
I I cried to myself and pondered what she had said.
This could be me.
I could be lying here dead.
I will remember her words always.
They will haunt me for the rest of my days.
This moment I will never forget.
No man should ever be such a threat.
This was the day my life would change.
From this day on I would never be the same.
The lesson I learned here,
never have such fear.
Fear that will keep me from being free.
I learned that I can be happy just being me.
Some folks always follow the winner
I didn't even have the courage
To tell you how you made me feel
Your body language
Way back then,
A wall flower.
you thought that I weren't good enough
I am blooming;
People always follow the winner
These are my confessions
Secrets of my mind
Everything that mattered
Truth I can not hide
Nothing but a shadow
What I was, What I am
What I’m supposed to be
Forgive me, God, forgive me
For being so unkind
Cynical and blind
To those who thought they knew me
And those who never did
To those who hear my songs
In the places where they live
I offer my confessions
Honest to the core
Offer my confessions
There won’t be anymore
The journey home is harder
Than the journey to the abyss
Coming back from so hard a trail
Is something I will not miss
Conversation with older folks always
Makes us think about
How complex we are
When asked 80 to 90 percent of older people
How are they doing?
Most replies are the same
“Child I am just waiting.
To meet my maker”
From the time we were born
Plans were made for us
About our life
What are you going to be?
When we grow up
And soon has one become an adult
Our thoughts about dying
You are born then you die
Life might be simple for some
However, it a race to
get over unfairness of life
I met my third grade teacher last year
The first thing she said to me
“Did you follow your dreams?
A moment in an instant world
I felt like she were in control
She is much older now
However, nothing has change
We born, then we die
No matter how hard we try
The ropes never seem to loosen >/center>
And so, I have made up my mind, once more.
I have decided to depart, to bid this husk farewell.
In order to do that, I must save coins if I desire to save myself.
For with it, I will be able to buy my ticket out here to a more blessed realm or the eternal void. Either way, I will be winning.
I mustn't, any longer, feel the starvation of affection and no more I shall be fed by the crumbs of fleeting joy they toss at me.
Thoughts of finishing are always in my mind, flooding it, making hard to go day by day, making hard to sleep, to have hope.
I fail to see where the hope is, I like to think that it can be find inside of one's heart.
But even so, I think I am mistaken, and when I glance at myself in the mirror, I quickly lose any spark of what could-be hope.
With the aid of the metallic sling, I shall leave this husf behind, heavy with its sins and sorrows, to no more nourish hatred.
For it does only to hinder my advance towards elevation.
With my metallic sling, I shall pierce, first, my heart, where lies the sorrow, then, my mind, where resides the sins.
Whilst the life in me start to wane, regrets I will not have, when my consciousness fade, my spirit will be no longer be trapped inside this imperfect cage of flesh.
Being free, my spirit shall roam far and beyond to, before, unseen places by men, to untouched places by men.
Another day,someone inquired me "Are you happy now?" and for that I just said "Yes". How else could I have responded if not with a lie?
How could I tell them that I yearn for a premature closure in order to stop thinking and feeling but I also yearn for love.
"I am not absolutely happy, as per say, but I do suffer less when I am asleep" I could never say that to anyone...
He woke and he got down on the creaking knees
He didn't know if God listened but tried
His grandson was in a coma and God was asleep
But he said the prayer but was afraid of the silence
God was the great politician in the sky
And his son Jesus would listen to the poll
When there was trouble God was the first name
Grabbing his coffee he humbly turned to God
In his eyes it was humbly but he loved the sugar
As he sat stirring and sweetened thoughts
The prayers flowed with his coffee
"Maybe God only listens to the regulars"
And he definitely wasn't one
It was years and God was famished
The whispered prayer ended with death and the anger
"Why did you not take me"
"I have lived and gladly would take the grandson's place"
The pastor warmed up and the sisters hummed
The cup spilled over as the prayer of the faithful
He became a hugger and he covered each drink
And the Irish believed in wake and liquor
He hugged the people tight and the salt became a scab
And God left him there with his drink
Inspired by the untimely deaths of young people I knew. RIP
In a dream, tonight would be my last
and I demanded to talk to God.
Of all the things I've gotten past,
to go now seemed so odd.
"You've taken all my friends you see
and now you want me, too?
Unlike one who pretends to be
I've always honored you."
Those sinners who outlive me still,
all I have to ask is how?
It mad me question His very will.
Why take a good man now?
But God just sat and let me rave
on and on about my worth
and why I didn't need a grave,
but rather eternity here on earth.
Pride let my voice be rather loud.
He never said a word.
I told of deeds that made me proud
and good things that I'd heard.
And when I tired He simply said,
"No doubt your life's been good.
But many younger are now dead
and their legacy simply would
be the song that is never sung,
no children call them dad.
for they came to me so very young
and left the world confused and sad.
Yet now your time has come as well
and selfish thoughts are all I hear?
Your life was full and I can tell
it's really death you fear.
Just remember that you have no choice,
for you all will one day die.
Be strong and with a humble voice
tell loved ones they can cry."
And in that moment I knew a peace,
and I felt a tear well up inside.
That most feared was now the least
as my selfish motives died.
My friend Justin and I want to dedicate this poem to everyone in America and those from other countries who have died, and also to those that lost their loved ones on this most atrocious day 11 years ago.
In the busy streets of New York City,
Many a passerby made their way to work
It was a typical work day—or so they thought
It was an unexpected day when a great tragedy would strike
Two of the city’s greatest towers would fall in humility
And along with them many wonderful families
Even others from different countries would lose a loved one
In just a matter of minutes, all of what was that typical work day
Became a nightmare—a terrorist’s delight
Everything in chaos and confusion
Cries all through the day and night
Many called their loved ones if they survived that long
Many panicked, but some were dead calm
Knowing there was no way out
They poured their hearts out on that last telephone call, their legacy born
The attackers thought they broke us!
But they failed—we didn’t break at all
Instead they brought us closer as a nation
And the people who lost their lives are with us always
Never forgotten in our minds and in our hearts
My abusive, late stepfather--
a repressed, black racist--
was a sergeant in the army
and face-smacking sadist.
I 'oft bemoaned that I was white
( as if it were my fault!)
and that he was black (and big!).
So in thoughtless revolt
against his continual abuse
one day under my breath
I called him a "******" (and boy
did he beat me to death!).
Against more physical abuse
I then wisely refused
to provoke him to great anger
so I was not accused
of his death for being beaten.
Then Mom and he divorced
because the abuse got much worse;--
free, I felt no remorse.
Now I was the man of the house
and life was less stormy;
for years after we lived in peace:
my Mom, siblings, and me.
Then I got religion and God
and gave my life to Christ;
'twas the best thing I ever did!
I changed--and it sufficed.
My anger and embitteredness
I had for years repressed
began to slowly disappear;
I became less depressed.
Later, my erstwhile stepfather
got swelling of the lung,--
emphysema! I forgave him
not back when I was young
for all the abuse and the pain
that made my life so grim;
but I've realized that the trauma
of not forgiving him
would be greater than what I've felt.
We all sin and transgress;
so God's grace moved me to let go
of him with forgiveness.
When it's time to let go and to
assure all's forgiven,
I'll be with him to pray for God
to show him His heaven.
If i have ever hurt anyone in any way I'm sorry, cause I learned in the last two days that everybody has something wrong in their lives everybody has troubles in some way and one word u say could hurt them badly ... And one good thing u say could make their day so everybody I'm sorry if I ever hurt u in anyway.. And I hope everyone has a good day. No one deserves to be treated how u treat people, we all have feelings... And we all have made mistakes, and we all have issues but that's no reason to treat someone like u do Imam pray u get a heart and learn what you are doing is wrong. And I hope u stop. You say u hate drama? But girl u r drama! Just saying so from now on I am going to be me, I'm going to be myself not who everyone else wants me to be... (: cause being someone your not isn't right u shouldn't have to change for anyone..
It started when I was a child
I was a kid with a gift
That no one understood or recognized
Instead of loved I was picked on and ostracized
However I blocked it all out
But little by Little its all coming back
Like layers of an onion
That held me tightly wrapped
Bits and pieces of my memory
That were hidden away in code
Deep within my mind a door was closed
I?ve reached in to remember because my life is now in jeopardy
All the emotional and sexual abuse that I closed off to survive
Has been staring at me sabotaging my life
This life is not what I have dreamed and I am dying inside
And if I don?t face the truth of what was done to me
Then I will surely become the monster that I despise
And as the tears bellow up
I again take another breath
Like soot in a fireplace and a hair ball in a cat
I cough up the toxic memories
As images flash through my mind
With my face in the toilet I begin to cry
My body begins to stiffen as nausea rises to the top
I then begin to wail from deep in my chest
It?s a hideous cry that sends chills down my spine
As I grit my teeth and hang on for dear life
A thought runs through my mind why.. why.. why.. why.
I?m tired of the black outs
I?m tired of the fear
I?m tired of the loneliness that have held me prisoner here
I?m tired of the pain and suffering that has come in my parents name
I?m tired of all the trauma and I?m tired of all the drama
I?m tired of the neglect that?s been perpetrated on my soul
Keep your hands off of me, keep your beliefs away from me
From all the mental abuse and all the negative remarks
And you still don?t see how you?ve damaged my sensitive heart
I?m tired of hearing all the denial
I?m tired of hearing how there is nothing wrong with you
I?m tired of you blaming everyone else but you
I?m tired of hearing how you hate this and you hate that
I?ve tried for years to heal this wound
But it seems to have spread to my nephew too
I don?t know what else to do
I even ruined my only serious relationship to get revenge
In my mind I justified their crime
From all the bad advice and all the dysfunctional decisions
And I thought I was reversing everything
When I vowed never to get married and have kids
But that sabotaging act has done me more damage
I dont know much about her
but I heard she wasnt that talkative
She didnt like being alive
She was numb to all the pain she had to go through
I heard she didnt like anything that was green
She ate roman noodles everynight for supper
She always wore flannels and bellbottoms
Sometimes i seen her wear dresses and fancy tops
But lately shes been wearing band shirts
She wears converse shoes and uses an army bag for school
I know that she dosent like to communicate through talking... only through her peoms
or sometimes even her songs.
I see her drawing and painting all the time
She draws famous people
She would like to be famous and not so unknown
When she tries to speak to anyone they always walk away and leave her alone
When she gets home she goes upstairs to play her bass guitar
She hates chocolate cake but loves chocolate
Her family left her behind because she cant forget her past
Sometimes when shes alone she contemplates the meaning behind her life
Her favorite color is gray because her life is black and white
Everything she says is false according to the world
She is not so innocent
I understand that she dreams about the perfect life
When she opens her eyes they are pitch black
She is someone that is fake
She acts nothing like she should
She is very grungy and unclean
She knows of no safety
and of no time
Her life is smashed into pieces by the giant sun
She will always be a ghost
She knows of no god
She crawls around in the world of death
She remains forgotten
By BJ Welsh
The sun shines brightly each morn’
Life goes on although the heart is torn
Only you wished for rain instead
Exposure to light is what you’ve dread
Breathing in life that you’ve been given
Spitting it back out to those who are livin’
It’s time, you think, to worry no more
There’s only always silence at the door
The shades don’t work as you think they should
Sun rays seeping through as only mother nature could
What more could you do to keep things dark?
Close your eyes, go ahead, you’ve left your mark
It’s time, you think, to worry no more
There’s surely silence at the door
The mind works in mysterious ways
Your paralyzed and in a daze
The things you lost have never been yours
Borrowed for a while, so take a pause
It’s time to repay that long ago debt
Promises made and you thought kept
You followed a map uncharted at best
A life re-invented and put through the test
It’s time, you thought, to worry no more
But there’s no more silence at the door
My head is heavy
And your know where near
Our lives are slowly crumbling
And we're not there to hear
Sand bag to wall
We're there when each other fall
Release your load
Only so much you can take
Give it to me
I'll hold your world on my shoulders
Sandbag to wall
I'll do my best not to fall
I know we'll soon switch
My shoulders are in a slouch
And life's becoming too big of a bit©h
Your silent words spoken
Things said but not heard
A hoax in communication
A bridge thats now been burnt
Each lie and blameful word
Melted in a smoldering pot
Craters into your life
Strips you left with only a soul to show
The meteoroid was left standing there
Some what in tacked
But left a tear
Like a dagger in the heart
You refuse to take out
Time over time
The meteoroid has dissapeared
but still you imagine its there
Stuck in the past
Your stubborn as a ass
When will you move on
We cleaned up the debris
Everyday we came by
Between each heart fulled hi and goodbye
We'd fill our baby up
Trying to help him get by
But no matter how hard we tried
He was just a hole
I look back to dusk
And see my blooming flower
So many bees all around
They were bound to sting
Ignore all signs and look at you now
After they all fly high
And leave you under the great blue sky
Everyday Ill come
And lay there with a rope
Waiting to pull you back
And carry you into a world of hope
Because I'm afraid of your other ways to cope
The day of Pentecost, Church celebrated
Administered Holy Baptism
St. Peter declares
“Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins and receive the gift of the Holy Spirit”
The apostles offer baptism to anyone who believed in Fr. Christ Jesus
You will be saved
You and your household
St. Paul declared to his baptized and with all his family
Baptism is birth into the new life in Fr. Christ Jesus
In accordance with Lord God’s will
It is necessary for salvation
As the Church herself, we enter by Baptism
Baptismal grace includes forgiveness of original sin
Birth to a new life by man becomes an adopted son of the Father
A member of Fr. Christ
A temple of the Holy Spirit
Those who die for faith
All those without knowing the Church under the inspiration of grace
Seek God sincerely, strive to fulfill his will
Can be saved even if they have not been baptize
With respect to children who have died without baptism
The Church invites us to trust in God’s mercy
The angel of Lord God said
The babies are safe in heaven
It was so long ago
But my mind doesn’t see it that way
And like a channel that only plays reruns
Images of you keep repeating in my mind over and over again
Over the years I tried to reach out to you
But I learned that you didn’t want to know me
We last spoke on the phone with forgiveness in my voice
But the love I once knew was replaced by bitterness
You said I thought you were going stop trying to contact me
I promised that this would be the last time.
I said I just wanted to wish you the best and give myself peace of mind.
But in your voice it was the seething anger and resentment that I could not deny
I said I was sorry for all the hurt, pain and sorrow and if I could correct it I would.
Why cant you forgive me what did I do that was so wrong.
And that is when I learned about what was truly told to you
To my surprise a giant lie, your sister said I raped her, now I understand why
She covered up her actions and turned me into a beast
This explains the hatred, the anger, and resentment you have felt for me.
However it doesn’t excuse the lust of my actions and what really happened
For days, weeks and months your sister groped, kissed and hounded me until I gave in.
Yes I confess to having an affair I tried to be faithful, I tried to be true. I loved you
But your sisters’ sexual lust took control over me she pressed my buttons for her own sexual
And even though I tried I was so guilt stricken I lied and said I didn’t love you anymore.
Our break up was created by your sisters’ lustful attraction she lied to cover up her jealous
But with a burning in your voice you didn’t want to believe and so you poured salt onto me
but the next day your phone call confirmed the truth, your older sister confessed to our
but she also said that she was in love with me of which I never knew
suddenly you want to stay in touch, I said that would be too much, again you persisted
Haven’t we endured enough pain to develop a friendship now would be insane, but you again
All those years ago the lie you were told now I understand why you hated me so.
and with a giant sigh I just started to cry and my heart just melted away
Unfortunately you said time has replaced me with someone new for you
Forgive me father for i have sinned, bless me for i have repented.
Now i truly know the power of the lord upon this blessed land
I have seen this worlds true colours. For these people there is hope.
The gardens of earth watered with the blood of tyrants.
Leveled out by the sweat of heroes.
I hear your name whisperd through the wind.
like chinese whispers, it gets mislead and twisted.
I see your image perfectly crafted upon each of us.
You give us a spirit, you guide it. but like a feather in the wind it blows off course
We are brought into the world, being told lie after lie, subliminal messges are the truth.
We stumble across the truth by mistake but we ignore it, asif it were not there.
We live in a time of need, we need our gaurdian angel to continue to guide us.
To guide us through the dark world of decietfulness,
To keep us warm from the cold hatred thrown upon us,
To shelter us from the hailstorm of lies.
People are losing hope, they no longer believe,
but i have not given up.
We need you to return to help bring the world back to order,
I'll travel to the far ends of the world to discover the truth,
I'll sail the bluest of sea's to find peace,
I'll fly through the clearest of skys, fluffiest of clouds to find out what awaits me in heaven
Another pair of eyes
Depression is sulking you
Well words for a bloody deal
I don't i can deal with you anymore
But im making sure the rest see who you really are
Now let's start this story right:
Sara calls me, saying she needs help screaming, saying gunfire is all around her house and
jonh is outside, bullets are piercing her windows, so the hood must be at war tonight, i
nervously look at the clock and is 1:23a.m. I tell her to stay on the line and im heading
there ASAP, running trough my house got the shirt, got the phone, car keys so im on my
way, while getting in the car she screams "Help!" I ask what happend, but all i hear is
more gunshots but banging closer to the phone, im at 102mph and the highway is so lonlie,
so i know the devil must have a plan for us all this dark early morning, so im closer now,
as soon as i see the entrance of her street i see flashing lights from one side to the
other, i made a choice, i just need to get to the other side, so i accelerated and passed
in the middle catching all bullets spraying side by side, but im here, carefully i get out
of my car and run the the door of her apartment, i see blood on the living room, kitchen
made dust with bullets, so i slowly walk to her room and i open the door, her massacre
body laying on the right side of bed, blood paints the white walls red, my eyes gaze upon
my friends corpse but a click made me think were is jonh? So i grabbed a knife and ran
outside, gansters coming from the front side so run to the back, there i was impact by a
bullet in the back, so i fell, crawling for safety another strikes my right arm, not much
strenght, i turn and hold tightly the knife with my left hand, when i raise my eyes to see
who is my murderer i see jonh with a red hoddie, so he betrayed us all, he points his gun
to my left arm and Boom! I looked at him and asked why... He responded: When a man see's
the truth and makes a deal with the devil for achieving glory, he takes down anyone and
anything just to touch truth once...I closed my eyes and open them again and i see the
devil besides him with a black cane, smile is pretty deep, so jonh pointed his gun to my
head, now is a good bye, BOOM! So now cold embrace my body in a second while flames drag
me to hell, i can see now, he wanted to us all, for truth, so truth he found, but im not
ready to die yet, shhh! Bips ring my hears, im in a hospital, tubed down troath, i see im
not ready, but jonh is, i'll hunt you down, friend.
It is painful to be wronged,
And it is not easy to forgive and forget;
But forgiveness provides an inner sense of
calm and tranquility__
To stop a sense of being angry and resentful
If you forgive not men their wrongs,
Neither will your father in heaven forgive
I once thought to have the world within my grasp, that all I needed I already had.
I once thought to be unable to feel more happier than I was while you were around.
Only way to make it better, was to change our worlds of ones and zeroes to contact of the flesh itself.
Even though I realized it, I choose to deny it. I was sorely mistaken about you and I, and this and that.
You smiled when you lied about your feelings.
"I cannot give to you more than this" you said with an evil smirk while observing me from afar.
The smirk, was it real or imaginated?
I do not know, and I fear I will never know, my mind play tricks on me once and again.
Misleading me to believe, like it allowed me to believe in your words.
Words... Amazing how powerful it can be, use it well and one can find pleasure, use it well, and one can find the demise of the soul.
leaving an empty husk behind, like you left me. An empty husk longing to be filled, once again, with the colors of joy.
Coming from the other side of the world, I felt your words and disdain like piercing cold knives straight to my heart, once warm, now cold, since you left.
And following your words you went away to never come back.
Along with you, went away also the joy and happiness I dared to thought to be eternal, a sweet lie I was telling myself...
Even today, after so long, I still think about you and I, your mesmerizing gaze that made me forget and float, your enchanting laughter and the warm and soft touch I told myself that you had.
Touch that I will never feel, laughter I will never hear, again, and eyes that I will never meet, again.
When you left, I was torn, between love and hatred. Now the hatred is gone and the love morphed to friendship, which I would like to share with you.
The Mauritius girl, will my words reach you?
I guess they will not, but I like to hope, to dream.
Hopes and dreams, the accessories of the weak...
A weak being, that I am, a being to be filled with fake bliss, five by day.
Three by the sunrise and two when the diamonds imbue the skies.
As like that, the curtains shall rise and fall before my eyes, at each passing empty day.
And so I live on, even if that means to not have you anyway I can... The only way I can...
For now, I just wonder, if will I ever find it again while I live? The joy and wonder, I mean.
I ask this chair, I ask the other me on the looking glass and I ask my shadow.
I guess these are the only companionships I will ever have until I meet my final doom.
My shadow, my other broken me and this chair and my memories, of you and I...
I just wanted you to know you married the wrong guy
You can laugh as I curse you or shake your head as the years go by
But like a warlock a male witch I damn you till the end of time
May your family tree be poisoned with emotional trauma through the heart
May this infliction of this pain be a remembrance to our time
May the pattern of lust created by your sister be branded on to the generations in your line
I never knew I could have such hatred for you even after such a long time
I never knew I had this kind of burning rage against you
So as I put this to an end let me just remind you once again
it was your sisters dirty deeds that broke our bonds in the end
You could have given me a second chance
From the flowers to the poetry and all the phone calls I had tried
For the five years that I knew you we are now just a blink in time
For all the walks and all the talks so many years ago
All those cherished memories are now just part of a freak show
Everything we desired to have are now at the end of another mans prick
I sit back now and look at this story
And with the flick of my wrist I toss it to the fire
I look up to god asking him to take me higher
One last wish is for all those memories I have of you to be taken as if they never transpired
I lost me I lost you
Through the lust and the thrust of a sexual deed
I lost me I lost you
Embraced in a taboo of wants, desires and needs
I lost me I lost you
The fire consumed us and soon no one could breath
I lost me I lost you
Dedicated to my children who have kept my dreams alive.
We can’t go back
To the days of yesteryear
To capture those lost feelings
With those whom we loved so dear
I am just looking back to see
Where all of my dreams first start
You know those deep seeded dreams
Buried way down deep in your heart
I’m not trying to revive a lost love
That I once had forty years ago
Or even trying to replace the twenty years
Of not seeing my grandchildren grow
There were times of much struggle
Filled with pain, fear and torture
It was the love I had for my children
That developed my strength to endure
My children only remember the 2nd set
Of twenty years that have come and gone
When they were all moving out on their own
And when all of the grandchildren came along
It’s like I was locked in a rock
Throughout those 20 to 40 years
Not able to see my grandchildren
Filled my heart with so many tears
The bitterness you feel towards me
Is understandable and really okay
My children, you all have the right
To your feelings and to feel that way
I have finally made the escape
Since that rock has split wide open
I want you all to know who I really am
I haven’t changed at all, only my situation
The gift of feelings we have in our heart
Whether right or wrong, just happen
It matters not what others may think
We should let out our own self expression
No feelings are really ever wrong
In another’s view or even our own
Our thoughts trigger our feelings inside
The feelings we have are ours alone
Looking back strengthens my heart
Reminding me I want to pass along
To all of you, just who I really am
Before my time on earth is gone
One day I hope you will realize
With you I have always been
Filling you up with that extra love
You may have noticed you’ve been given
You have all filled up
Such a big part
Of all the dreams
Living in my heart
My best friend Grace, reminded me
That our feelings are meant to be and to last
God wouldn’t put the dreams in our heart
If He didn’t plan to bring the dreams to pass
My dreams haven’t changed
I am not letting them go
They are for new adventures
With new beginnings of tomorrow
Now that I’m looking back
I’m so glad to have survived
I know now, my love for all of you
Has always kept my dreams alive
Florence McMillian (Flo)
Another week ends and here I am once more.
Friday evenings I sit, and my friend you pour.
I drink to the gods who delegate my fate,
a toast to a lover, a colleague or mate.
You are "The Barman" a legend in your own right.
You pour out the numbness, and soak up sins of the night.
Stories are your rubix cube, a toy to pass the time.
You listen with intent, a gate keeper in his prime.
This week was different, there was a twinkle in your eye.
You noticed, I noticed, and your smile was rye.
A glance to your hands, and I see the crimson of blood.
Your the legendary bartender, but are you evil or good?
The tales you've absorbed, full of hatred and love.
Which ones have you focused on, the flames or the dove?
Suddenly I notice the bar is now empty.
It's clear you are twisted, my one confession was plenty.......
It is Here Again
By BJ Welsh
It’s raining and raining as requested
The thought I’ve just really digested
Watching and staring as the raindrops fall
Who do you think would miss me after all?
I sit and wonder without nary an expression
Days pass to weeks with only further digression
Time it seems is not on my side
The rain I pray will never ever hide
Rain used to be such a welcome sight
To clean the earth from dirt and its’ blight
Now I look for only grey clouded skies
Matching the look and sadness in my eyes
The rain it seems must never ever end
For which it is my only dearest friend
I seek it out with such joy and delight
Watching and waiting sometimes all night
The rain’s come again to see me through
This life of misery is well past due
It’s soothing and a welcome pleasure too
For which I have but very few
Tomorrow is another day for rain?
I can only hope I’m still here and sane
To live to see it is but a dream
I’m not long for this world, or so it would seem
Introduction: Limit itself has a limit of its own…
A walk, mile after mile
In quest for my lost soul,
I had forgotten how to smile
Everything felt out of control,
I fought too hard to be worthwhile
By that I got lost in my life’s hole
The regrets for mistakes I’ve made
It took me off the edge, way too far away;
Yet I tried again so hard to get off from that shade
But got caught up in my brutal fray,
The same song keeps playing with such a vicious rage,
I find myself down to my knees, nowhere to go - So I pray
A prayer to leave the worst and move onto more,
Come off this fantasy and onto reality, to be -
Closer to something I’ve been fighting for
The touch of the light cutting through the night, it rains down upon me
As I overcome the grief and believe, recovery lies ashore,
Only three steps remain, to be fixed and free.
A lesson of value I earned from my faults -
Never push yourself off the edge,
You’ll lose the only key to the vault
A life you never had to live – It too could forever be lost,
So stay confined within the limits of the limit
As it seems - Your control over lust, only can make you complete.
When the light of the sun begins to fall
Echoes of thoughts begin to ball
Drifting into a sleepless state
Possibilities grow, at a relentless rate
I open my mind, in a wonderland of no validity
Emphasized by a walk, through a mirror of fluidity
Children's laughter in a sadistic tone
This dream is a nightmare, far from home
The path I am walking........leads to a house
Beyond the door, I wish for my friend, my lover and spouse
As the door creaks open a figure is revealed
I brace myself, my numbness is my shield
A wrinkled hand reaches out from the black
It grabs my wrist, leaving no time to fight back
As I'm dragged into the darkness, the figure becomes clear
The face of my victim, my deepest fear
You were born with some sort of gift
Just remember this, my child,
Swallow the pride that takes away
You are a gifted human being
You have grown a connection with God
He welcomes you to His understanding, loving family
He reminds you to never let go of humbleness
Tell your foes, if you have some, swallow your pride
Don't be afraid of their actions
Be in tune with God...He'll get you through this living
and He'll send immediate help on the way
because you've been gentle, patient, and courteous towards people's
emotional trials and dangerous tests
You have been healed by the Most High
Swallow your pride, woman full of spiritual life...
You are now a bride of humbleness
You are a gifted human being
You have grown a connection with God
He welcomes you to His understanding, loving family
He reminds you to never let go of humbleness
Love your enemies...tell them to
Swallow their pride
They'll never understand
What the reward is for
Don't lack humbleness
Lack pride and practice
Men of dishonor, remain humble
Love your enemies...tell them to
Swallow their pride
Swallow your pride, you devious fools of shame!
Pleasure-seeking women, swallow your pride...
You are now a bride of humbleness
A Letter To The Debtor
To those I've hurt and all I've wronged,
I never before accepted where I belonged.
I could apologize but I'm not sure that even matters now.
Maybe those who hear this will realize that I'm truly sincere
and will find it in their heart to forgive me somehow.
Like anyone does,
I needed a place to start
to begin a transformational change of heart.
I can say with absolute certainty,
I will never again be who I was.
For the unforgiving in nature,
that will likely never be enough.
Well, I'm not standing here for you to challenge me.
I don't need to prove to you what you've demanded to see
or that I'm tough.
Sit back in my shoes and think as much.
You'll start to see as such.
You've mocked me once.
You've mocked me twice.
You look both ways and try to play nice.
You smile and wave
but I've seen how each of you behave.
You say you care and that you understand,
but you stab me with the other hand.
It's nice to discover all you really had planned.
I forgive but I don't forget.
That doesn't mean I hold a grudge.
However, you are not who I answer to
and you are absolutely not my judge.
Haven't you heard?
I stick to my word.
What you see is what you do.
I learned that from watching you.
It doesn't take a scientist to decide
where to place my honor and where to place my fist.
The citizens of the four corners of this earth
don't seem to value their worth.
It's a trend you can't hind and a culture you can't pretend.
Just look at it from the inside.
Smile for a while with your arms open wide.
It's a slippery slope to learn which way to slide.
Two directions will often collide when the rite of passage is denied.
Hold your head up high and hold on to your pride.
Let dignity be your guide.
Don't push an open mind and heart aside.
I cried when I nearly met death as it died.
A new way of life quite literally implied.
You're truly alive if you know where you'll arrive.
It's a message well worth received to the deserving who have already believed.
Here is one final word to those who have truly heard:
Conceive, believe, and you will entirely achieve.
Wishing to be numb
Coaxed by it's powerful fake love
Let it take over and drown out
Wishing I've made bad choices
To be wash out
To not remember a part of your life is a gift
Blood drips from my torn skin
Brother had made me mad so I knocked him down the basement stairs.
Choicely words he hurled my way-His teary eyes reflected pain and back at me they glared.
Like a viper he laid around the house daring me to come his way.
Sorry am I now for I have no one with to play.
After several weeks had passed, he still snarled and hissed.
Only his foot- to-hip cast kept him constantly at bay.
But I grew lonely with no brother to rumble with; no one to share my day.
Then the thought struck me as a jolt of reality-tomorrow is his birthday.
Off to Mr. Green’s corner store I went for a birthday present- I had fifty cents.
I spied a red kite- asked him to rap it and back to brother as I whistled and skipped.
I presented the little red kite which brother threw down-saying you ain’t right!
Sadly I looked for a solution of how brother can fly his new birthday kite.
It was in the backyard, positioned under the lean-to – the answer to my prayer.
I dragged it out and cleaned her with new found hope and no despair.
I carried my brother and placed him in the little red wagon with difficulty as he held his kite in hand.
The school yard was empty- we tailed the kite and then pulling the wagon I ran.
The little red kite stilled high in the air as brother and I where once again a pair.
The kite soared the faster I ran and finally at the end of the day, a brother’s love had been won again.
Tell me have you ever loved someone that no matter what they did you still needed
them by your side?... Slipping slowley loseing my mind... Always thinking about
you... but wondering baby why cant i just do things right?.... But i can see it now
and i see it when i look into your eyes,... that i dont deserve you in my life.... soo
many nights ive sat and fought with you, not even realising that at any moment i
could lose you... never admiting that i made mistakes,.. not knowing more as for the
tears falling down your sweet face,... But some times love is hard too recognise
even when you can see it with your own eyes,... why do i feel this way in my life?...
why cant i just run and hide?... hide away from the pain ive given too you,.. tell me why cause i dont deserve someonelike you?
The love we once shared was no longer there. You said, I no longer love you
I am considering getting married are words that chilled me to the bone
With a shutter to my voice I said but I am still in love with you.
Don’t the memories that we created mean anything anymore
Is there anything left anything you feel any type of love anything that’s real
From the engagement party to the dancing
To the ring I thought would make you mine
However as time passed by I could not deny the love I once knew was gone and we drifted
apart for good
but then there was one day in 1997
You knew it was me but you didn’t care
You didn’t even give me a stare but you knew I was there
And I could see you were carrying another mans seed
Maybe I shouldn’t be angry maybe I deserve it anyways
But I can’t deny what I feel inside
Abandonment and betrayal anger and a seething rage
If I could break up your marriage I’d do it today.
I don’t know maybe you chose to marry him out of despair
Or maybe it was a rebound due to your sisters’ affair
I don’t know the reason I don’t known which emotional crime
All I know is that my mind has been stuck on you for twenty two years in time
I don’t care what any family member thinks anymore yours or mine
I have choked you in my dreams
And I have killed your husband a thousand times
I have seen you on facebook with your family and I will never give a nudge or send a
I stumble upon a river
the way it flows and feels
I take my shoes off and run threw it
laughing looking up towards the sun
I wake up and it was all just a dream
my sister runs up the stairs
she slams her door
i asked her what was wrong
she looked at me
She says "mom told me you were adopted"
at first i laughed as i thought it was a joke
I run downstairs to see my mom and dad sitting on the couch
"mom?" i say
she replies "its true we adopted you!"
she got up and walked into the kitchen
"after all this time i thought i was yours" i say
My father gets up and walks out the door
My mom lays her hand on her forhead
Just dont worry about it everything will be okay
"No it wont i say"
i felt fake like i wasnt who i was suppose to be
i just sat on my bed thinking about the whole thing
my whole life and who i should have been
I packed my bags that light and i ran away
leaving the less important things behind
i set out on a journey to find my real parents
I had my sister get there info. from my dads office
I took a bus to indiana and looked up there address
As soon as i found it i knocked on the door
A man opened the door
he said "who are you?"
i say "apparently i am your son?!"
"you put me up for adoption?" i repeat
He yells "ANNA!?, Some kid is here for you!"
i repeat the story to her as she denied it
She looked bruised and beaten up
I wanted to help her but the man hut the door on my face
I had no where to go now
So i started on a journey back home
But i never made it there
I found that old river i use to go too
i stayed there for a few weeks until
i remembered the way back.
I found myself that day
I realized that i was fake but now im not because i know that i am just me not any of them
TODAY I TOOK A LOOK INTO MY BROKEN MIRROR
IT REFLECTED BACK THE IMPERFECT ME
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PERFECT THAT THE IMPERFECTS DON’T WANT TO KNOW
CAN I AMEND THE BROKEN PIECES OF MY MIRROR?
I FORGOT TO PUT ON MY LIPSTICK ON MY WEEDING DAY, GOSH MY HUSBAND SAW THE IMPERFECT ME
THE CAPTAIN JUST TOLD THE CREW HE FORGOT TO BRING ALONG HIS COMPASS
THE IDEALIST STRIVE FOR PERFECTION FROM THE FATHER ABOVE BUT THE TRUE SON OF THE FATHER ONCE SAID “HE WHO WAS PERFECT WAS TO CAST THE FIRST STONE”
BECAUSE OF OUR STAINED SOULS, A UNIVERSAL DETERGENT WAS POURED ON EACH SOUL TO BRING PERFECTION DEFERRING THE LAWS OF AFFECTION
THE HEART OF MAN IS FULL OF CORRUPTION CONSTANTLY BLEEDING OUT CONTEMPT WITHOUT CLOTTING
BUT WE NEED TO FIGHT EAGERLY AGAINST EVERY UNCERTAINTIES WITHOUT HESITATING
NO MATTER HOW HARD WE FIGHT THESE UNCERTAINTIES EVERYONE WILL DIE TRYING
MY PERFECTION IS LIMITED BEFORE MY IMPERFECTION AND THAT MAKES ME PERFECTLY IMPERFECT SOUL
Monday, October 2, 2006, dawned like so many before it in Nickel Mines, PA. The industrious Amish community was already busy with chores before the early Autumn sun drove away the darkness of night. They were totally unaware of a different kind of darkness awakening in their midst.
A hearty breakfast, and the plainly dressed children made their way to the one-room school. It was a simple, peaceful structure like those of past generations. Within its walls, as well as at home, the students were taught to love and forgive, to live simple lives of Christian virtue and hard work. And, most important, to never harm anyone.
Their day had scarcely started when an intruder entered their school. Such acts of cruelty were planned that would never have entered the minds of the students or their families.
The police arrived minutes after being notified, but the horror had already begun. Ten completely innocent girls - five dead and five critically wounded. And to end his plot, the sinister character took his own life.
We knew none of the people involved, but we sat shocked before our televisions as the tragic drama unfolded. Everyone voiced the same question, “Why?”, but no one had an answer.
A twenty-year-old guilt, a pending drug test, the previous loss of a daughter. But, none of those things added up to the scene before us. It was so senseless - so needless.
Nickel Mines - indeed America itself, will never be the same. Heros were not born that day, they were simply revealed. A policeman clinging to the lifeless body of a little girl. An older child offering herself first in a futile attempt to save the younger ones. An Amish delegation visiting the home of the killer and expressing forgiveness. A community pulling together in a time of tremendous need.
The victims families were crushed. No more words to be spoken to precious children. Now it was sewing white dresses and digging graves.
A column of horses and buggies making that long, last trek to the cemetery. And then in an act of such unexpected love, some of those same black buggies attended the funeral of the killer.
We live in such a disturbing world. Let us pray that such tragic scenes are never repeated, and may we all recognize the real visitor of Nickel Mines - forgiveness. Forgiveness at a time when it is not even humanly possible to forgive. But then, that’s what it was - an act like the God they served. “For God so loved that He gave His only begotten Son...” The realization that God had experienced the same horrific tragedy. His own Son was brutally murdered, and He set the example, not of hatred and revenge, but of forgiveness. May we all learn this God-given virtue and be filled with the real visitor of Nickel Mines.
Introduction: Tribute to brothers in the fray and families for them pray...
Life in these rough times,
We barely even feel the daytime
Every second counts greatly,
As there’s no going back in time
Sometimes we lose to win, try not to fail again,
But mostly we end up back to where we all began
Every single day, we wake up in one piece,
Where brothers in the fray, they hardly get to cease
Our tears drop all over the floor,
They keep on till their blood stains from their core
Every second till the end,
We pray for them to knock on our doors
Sadly at times, things go the other way for the best cause,
All we can do really, is not breakdown and pause
Prayer’s the only strand through the last breath,
When they depart with a peaceful end
Emptiness and happiness, constantly flowing along,
The memories, they always live right within our souls
When days seem cloudy and life gets lonely
Debts grow high and smiles fade into sigh
At that instant, that very moment,
Just pray, pray to get healed,
Heal from this insanity, pray to be free,
Free from this misery
It all comes down to the crying in the end,
The stillness stares up towards the sky
As we do bid farewell to dear friends
But at some point through all the pain and sour grin, recovery does begin
The ones we love and care,
Though some are not so near
Scattered through this bittersweet world,
Waiting for us to share;
This life is like the weather,
It changes altogether
It may get bad and may get sad,
But know it’s not forever,
Better days will come eventually,
The morning sun will shine brightly
Through our endeavors and our prayers, we shall recover
From things we’ve lost so dearly
So just hold on to the light and believe in salvation,
And the rays of truth shall lead the road to redemption…
upstairs in my room
i put my ear to the floor
only to hear my parents screaming
the argument is about me
my mom yells "look at what your son has become!"
Heartless, unintelligent, fake...
my father replies back
"hes your son, hes your own pile of dirt!"
whenever my family is out together
we act happy like these fights never happen
but every night they do and i cant tell anyone
i have to act like someone else in order not to get introuble
What have i become?...hurt..dishonest..will this feeling dissapear?
I will drag you down and i will make you hurt..
I lift my head from the floor
still hearing the angry voices of my parents
i found an old needle, and i dug it into my skin
the next morning i go downstairs
with a cut off shirt on, and baseball shorts
My father grabs my arm
"what is this boy?"
i yank my hand away from him and i sit down on a chair
"its nothing sir"
my father repeats "are you cutting yourself?, why?"
i grab my bookbag and i disapear out the door
My father runs outside pulling me to the ground
"are you cutting yourself boy?!" he screams
i say "no sir i just scrapped my arm on my dresser"
My father grabs my face
"you better not cut yourself again" he replies
He hits my face, as i lay on the ground.
I didnt wake up until i felt something wet drip on my face
it was raining and dark outside
i run into the house and into the bathroom
looking into the mirror i see the bruise that was left on my face
My father wasnt home and my mother went to bed
"everything goes away in the end right, if i let him have it all, my moms pile of dirt?"
I sit upon my liars chair full of broken memories i cannot repair
I become someone else, but the old me is still right there
if i could start again a million miles away i would keep myself
i will find my way
They are rude, obnoxious and boastful.
They sneer and gossip at my back.
In their minds they tear at my flesh.
And beat me with clubs of hatred.
Crushing my bones and bludgeoning my wholeness
But this exists only within their anger.
Seething caldrons of misguided impulses.
Uncontrollable urges of blame and turmoil.
But their hearts are full of good and love.
And truly they are the children of a GOD above.
David Gary Pennington
I don't know what to do anymore.
I've forgotten what this bed is for.
It's going to take a leap of faith.
I jump in bed and here I wait.
I used to just stay up all night
and be surprised by the morning light.
Then one night turned into days.
It's hard to look back through all the haze.
Back then I didn't sleep at all.
I would keep on pushing till I hit the wall.
Putting my body through a stupid test.
A week goes by without any rest.
Insanity comes from lack of sleep.
Nobody else knows the secrets I keep.
There mine to have but not to hold.
I hope they go away before they get told.
Skeletons in the closet they grow like weeds.
How can anyone understand all my dirty deeds.
There not done cheap,in fact,they were expensive.
How can you trust anyone with them, I'm so apprehensive.
I had to tell someone my life was a mess.
So I talked to God and He helped confess.
He washed me clean and He showed me the way.
I told Him I'm a sinner but I'll try not to stray.
I asked Him why He cared,Why He even bothered?
He said because I love you son I am the Father.
Unconditional love was given that day.
He said if I sin again forgiveness was a knee away.
In her dreams she is visited by old Saint Nick
He is here to tell her the miraculous story of Christ
The Star of David was the angel upon the tree of life
Her papa was a little out of sort as he strung the Christmas lights
Her mama was slightly tore up as she hung the cardboard reindeer just right
Grandma was real sick and it was starting to show
Their old "hand-me-down" house was drafty and cold
In her dreams she is visited by old Saint Nick
He is here to tell her the miraculous story of Christ
The Star of David was the angel upon the tree of life
For years they had all avoided this place
Yet a tear stung her eye as forgiving smiles spread across their eager faces
Christ was born upon this day for a reason
Come as you are being the ultimate season
In her dreams she is visited by old Saint Nick
He is here to tell her the miraculous story of Christ
The Star of David was the angel upon the tree of life
She cares not for eggnog and mistle toe
All she asks is that the love may show
For Christ lives on in our open hearts
Let this day mend where we have drifted apart
In her dreams she is visited by old Saint Nick
He is here to tell her the miraculous story of Christ
The Star of David was the angel upon the tree of life
She awakes from her dream and runs to sit beside the tree
Her eyes gleam and this is all she can see
Old Saint Nick has spread the story of Christ
She smiles as as Christmas light shines on the tree of life
Forgive me God for my
I am just so upset…
Life has not been happy of late,
that’s because a bad person is here…
Keeps harassing me with phone calls…
Blaming me for there bad luck…
I just want them out of my hair,
that why I have been having
these evil thoughts…
Changing my phone numbers
haven’t worked, I just don’t
know where to turn…
Because my life had not been
threatened the authorities won’t
So I ask for your forgiveness
and pray that you can help
me through this…
For I fear that worst things may happen…
By Sandra Lea Hoban
Once in a while I meet a person whose eyes tell their story
The story is like the sky reflection on the seas of glory
The eyes are all the wonder of the world
It sees the future, past, and present
The eyes give us knowledge of the world and reflection
The reflection of sadness and weakness of each creature
The wonder of each individual being has a present
To the world who has lots of false images
To arise the moment of that one glance
To follow the heart in romance
Just the reflection that gather in your eyes of blue
What a man and a woman should view
Life is such a pain without stopping to see each eyes
Its like roses you have to enjoy each passion in side
When that moment collides with mind and heart
Nothing in your soul can keep your love apart
Join in the fun look in every eyes of a person beside
With passion and romance I bet you, you would cry
The luster of all the things to come
A bounty of life long needs to be given by just the wonders of the eyes
The blue seas reflects the different depths of our feelings
And it should become revealing
Come to your senses with ravaging hormones of lust
The sea can take you and even the reflection in the eyes of the person
The beauty is not held by one it is held by everyone
Such looks with fear for no relief
Is almost a dreadful part in our human nature
Beware of what can happen when emotions are held
Held to the core of an individual
No such thing is kindness when you find yourself in the Sea Blue Eyes
Calling in your soul by just looking
With ignorance you play around with such futile emotion
Gush away the fear and do not go insane with life so dear
The grasp of the titans comes to reveal
The evil within your heart is so obscenely noticed
You want the sea and you want those eyes to look at you with wishes
The rage in the heart are waves that cannot stop
It pushes and pushes with no regret
The heart falters and there is only one thing in your mind
The idea of one soul to be with is the ocean
The rifts that is trying to break to end the wants of desire
Cannot be trusted in a human lier
The beauty of man is destruction
The beauty of women are commands
The eyes of each does not matter in the sea
Because all emotion and desire is given to those who are true
Command of a person is just one thing
The desire to destroy is another
The Sea Blue Eyes will see no bother cause it bares it all
Even the utmost desire
To be continue.
Stuck in a place with negativity bound within it's Walls.
I need to get out of here, before the phone rings with insanity's calls.
I burst out of the door into the streets owned by the night.
Shadows staring back dodging the lamps light.
I begin to walk down the urban corridor of uncertainty.
The workers of soul catchers carry out their shady activity.
I find myself in the empire of danger invoking pure photo-phobia
It's a small price to pay for escaping the mecca of claustrophobia.
As I reach the climax of the spiraling vortex tunnel.
I walk on tenterhooks as my problems funnel.
Facing me at the end of this path, is a door laced with remorse around it's edges.
The entrance to unknown stands out with a line of devoted pledges.
Those waiting and queuing are the damned and the lost.
As I drift towards them, I wonder how much my sin will cost.
For I felt the weight of the pressure and stress, forcing me into the light of shame?
For I was the puppet master, who poured onto me the petrol and drew the flame.
My moment of selfishness was a cardinal sin to myself and others.
lacking consideration, deprived of thought for my sisters and brothers.
That self indulgent cowardliness, has lead me to this final act.
A door beaten with the hands of the damned, regardless it's still intact.
As the number descends down to it's final member.
I stand there understanding my sin, bound to surrender.
Reaching out I grasp the golden handle, and turn it to the right.
As I push forward on the door and out bursts a green neon light.
My chance of escape has come to a halt, it's time for me to face the jury's end.
I stand by my plea of weakness and insanity, as into the court I descend.
A skeleton of the peril court rises with a verdict and answer.
The jury has decided I was overtaken by a vicious cancer.
The disease wasn't voluntary but they agree my cure wasn't correct.
My punishment is to fade into the man that never was, with immediate effect.
There I lay upon the curb, my heart still beating
An Icy breeze cutting through, my souls was fleeting
Looking up into the skies, I saw a flash of hope
The clouds divided into blue, and dangled down a helping rope
Rising up I start again, I'm fighting stronger
The music plays inside my head, this I remember
I use the melody to build my strength, I'm shining brighter
I lace deceit with the flammable truth, I drop the lighter
The phoenix rises from the flames, I see it's eyes
Exploded candles ignite the way, I hear it's cries
The path I walk leads to my home, a second chance
At the end one final trial, it's the devils dance
There it lay upon the curb, It's heart still beating
Reaching out I take my sword, It's life depleting
One final strike and a broken heart, death becomes her
The sun comes out and begins to beam, hope forever
I always used to ask myself this question, "What kind of imprint do I want to leave with people once I pass and am I scared of dying?" I had come to this question again once my grandfather passed.He was an amazing human being who loved God by the way.Anyway, I have learned over time through experiences of my life I have realized something and its what I want others to know, its that Life is a gift.So cherish every minute of it even the smallest moments in time.See, everyday is a new opportunity for Forgiveness.Love.Reconciliation. etc. one will not always have the chance to live promisingly.I believe that people need to go about their lives with the perspective of not what can I do for myself.But, what can I do for someone else.For instance, How can I make someone''s day? Or just simply How can I make a person smile today? For me, there's nothing that brings more joy to me than knowing I may have made a difference in a person's life. I just want others to know that the bigger picture in our existence is not just serving Jesus, but its to serve each other. I mean, of course we need to live for the Lord and spread the Gospel and live our own lives. But, there's nothing wrong with a little selflessness and its very fulfilling to do so. Oh, and No. I'm not scared of dying. You see, The Apostle Paul said it well, "To live is Christ. But, to die is gain." I know that it's different when your told you only have so much time to live than when a family member or friend is told this.But quite honestly, to me it's just death. Besides, if I could leave this earth knowing I changed at least one life, it was very worth living it.
Within ones mind,
we cannot tread,
a book unread.
the penetration begins,
for healing to begin.
then light filters in,
Love can conquer,
love is the difference,
love brings friends,
love is the first step,
for a heart to mend.
All of us were there that day/
Yet not in the physical aspect,
It was a very spiritual notion/
Not some encounter from a heavenly omen,
Beneath the soil amidst a great gulf fix,
Some have become a bit transparent/
Perhaps a little cumbersome ?
While other's having claimed to experience all the fullness,
Little did they know that king's and queen's would all bow to thee,
Amidst the given turmoil of the unfortunate vast excursion !
Still in the garden that day they all fell asleep/
Yet still all of us were there,
When the roman solder's ripped off your beard !
Still some of us it's too hard to fathom it,
Some finding it to intense and a bit weird !
Having common passerby's spit in his face/
While still there were many angels in waiting to take vengeance on those,
Yet Jesus didn't choose that route of passage,
With no sense of remorse nor a common disgrace,
We were all their that day !
Even when beloved Mary your loving mother wept !
Fashioned with real tears for her son,
While they tore into his flesh !
Until there was nothing left but exposed bone,
When all the nails had mounted you to the rugged cross/
We all knew that this wasn't some tragic loss !
With words', "Father please forgive them for they know not what they do ?"
He said the prayer now the rest is up to you ?
We all had learned Lord what your beloved father really knew/
We were all there that day/
When after three days you suddenly rose from the grave !
Although still many had rejected you ?
The god of this world had blinded many eyes/
Does all of this come at some big surprise for it is written in the scriptures for our benefit ?
Lest they all should see and be healed,
For even Pilate had found no fault in thee,
Yet he gave into the crowds cry's and demands !
Having vicious fangs nor swollen teeth/
Which all gnash abruptly !
Having a fish dinner with Peter for breakfast/
The was fully after your grand exit,
We were all there that day/
Henceforth, even to this present moment in time,
Today, everything we pray for we can all visualize you being there,
For we were all their that day !
Christ climbed upon the mountain
To tell us of His love for all
And teach us how to forgive our fellow man
To lend a hand to those who might stumble and fall
The mission of the Messiah
Was one of His own choice
The painful path Jesus tread upon
We will never have to walk
His rocky path was one
Of blood sweat and tears
He bore the pain and took the shame
To chase away our sinful fears
Then He asked of His Father
Salvation for us all
The mission of the Messiah
Answers the Father's call
David Gary Pennington
Big hands taxied me up
to the seat
I took for a cradle
on a back already bent
and filled with rutted lines and bite scars,
his hair was still brown
but in spots,
where the skin panicked for cover,
age sprang up like the General’s venerable gray
and He stood there laughing with the crows
about how regal I looked
with a toy whip in one hand
but how I looked
as we moved my smell bled through
and two aggressive rings flared
and figured me out-
a few more feet and I could feel the unsettling shift
of unhappy weight beneath my reach.
So I held fast
to the great Van Dyke brush
(its fibers and bristle
magnetized from front to back)
with a handle carved
from thick muscle,
that clung for life to the bones
but He did not notice
the flex in the gelding’s arcing neck,
and He must have sneezed, or blinked,
through the vital twitch
and dissolved into
hyperbolic, bay curves:
when it upset the Dauphin’s new throne
with a weak kick,
everyone was surprised.
If all the things I have right now were taken away and I had nothing left I would fantasize about nature and how beautiful it is. I would imagine that I was swinging on an old tire swing in front of a river. In the river were little ducks and I would go feed them. In my life right now I don’t think of nature that way. I think if my freedom was taken away I wouldn’t take it for granted the way I do and I would know how much it actually means to me. I would also imagine my family getting together for my family reunion. We would usually have them in September. My aunt would make her fancy white cake topped with chocolate drizzle. My grandma always made her jello cake; I still don’t know exactly how she makes it. The others would bring KFC, at least three boxes full of chicken and fries. All the kids would sit together and play games and laugh as we threw food at one another. We would have a game where the kids lined up from age 1 to age 13 and you would get to pick a prize appropriate for your age. I would always get stuck with bath soap and tooth brushes.I take a lot of ordinary things for granted and I think a lot of people do but they won’t admit it. Sometimes I even take life and my freedom for granted. I think that if maybe we wouldn’t take things for granted like the trees or our freedom that maybe our lives would be a lot better and things wouldn’t happen the way they do. I have lived long enough to know that it won’t happen, nothing happens the way you want it to. Just a few months ago I lost my grandma and I couldn’t do anything to help her. I took all of the things she did for granted and now that she’s gone I miss her. She used to make this tuna casserole, it was just amazing but I never told her just how much she meant to me. I think if I would have told her that more then I wouldn’t feel so guilty or depressed that she is gone. I never told her what I needed to. If people could use the words of John Lennon “Imagine Peace” and actually think about it then maybe the world wouldn’t have to end because there wouldn’t be any enemies, murders, drugs, none of the bad things would have happened. If we could have just accepted everyone around us for who they are and known that one day we all have to die, we could have stepped back from it all and said I had a good life and I don’t regret any of it. I think it’s no good to step back from something and tell yourself that you could have done something to prevent it.
He is my flesh and blood
For we are forever connected
Troubled from birth, he knows no peace
He dreams of a normal life
Yet instead he is forced to live in constant pain
When I look in to his eyes
I see his beautiful soul
For he is slowly drowning
With every passing day he loses strength
I want to save him, but I can’t imagine how
I sit on the sidelines, watching the world pass him by
I live in constant fear and sorrow
For he is my flesh and blood
Wondering will this boy ever be free
Such a gifted and caring person
His brain his very own prison
He has never harmed anyone so why is he condemned to live the live he lives?
He wants to be normal
He DREAMS of being happy
He is my flesh
He is my blood
I wonder everyday if today is the day that we must part
I have never loved someone
Who I hate just as much
The bruises always fade
The hysteria always clams
But my heart will forever always be scarred…
IF ONLY I HAD THIS LIFE TO LIVE OVER AGAIN:
Oh the changes I would have made.
I would have gone sleigh riding in the winter's snow,
I would have realized the miracle of the rainbow...
gazed at a sunset across the meadow.
It seems not so very long ago.
Forgive me Lord. I just didn't know!
IF ONLY I HAD THIS LIFE TO LIVE OVER AGAIN:
Oh the changes I would have made.
I would have hiked through a forest and hugged a tree...
spent more time with friends and family...
learned the lesson of the honeybee.
Unawareness is such a tragedy;
I was blind and did not see!
IF ONLY I HAD THIS LIFE TO LIVE OVER AGAIN:
Oh the changes I would have made.
I would have reflected more on what would carryon...
that which would endure long after I was gone...
thanked The Lord for the gift of each new dawn...
discovered the purpose of being born...
regrets forever I will mourn.
IF ONLY I HAD THIS LIFE TO LIVE OVER AGAIN:
Oh what different choices I would have made.
I would have set my mind on things above...
laughed more, played more, and shared God's Love...
listened to the songs of the turtledove;
for this is what life is made of.
God is the hand and we are the glove.
My eyes are slowly closing.
Something is happening to me!
There's a Bright Light I see!
I feel such peace...a serenity!
Milton L. Delgado
October 6, 1998
Here I stand facing liquid glass,
the flowing of the faces are haunting out my past.
Stepping through the mirror to face my pulsing fears,
I pass the corridor of the damned, and collect the angels tears.
The price of pain I caused is peeling away my face,
the features that catalyst the sorrow, are crumbling with pace.
My bright blue eyes become grey stone, and wrinkles invade the smooth.
The sands of time begin to rush, as the angels cries are soothed.
The scales of justice begin to balance, as retribution hangs.
I see the writing on the wall, and written red across my hands.
I find myself truly redemptive and understand my wrong.
The angels recognise my growth, and begin their final song.
Suddenly the corridor falls, baring an empty room.
It's the attic of the house I live in, my face is back in bloom.
The mirror holds a sheet of the future, a warning in advance.
I take my errors and correct them, and start my second chance.
O Sweet Father Christ, do these people have Your spirit?
Do they please You in acting like this?
Does it please You, when for fear of displeasing You,
We neglect doing the greatest to please Your Mother? Who’s our mother as well
Does devotion to Your mother, delay devotion to Yourself?
Does she attribute to herself honor we pay her?
Is she a stranger has no connection to You?
Does it displease You when we try to please her?
Do we alienate ourselves from Your love by giving ourselves to honoring her?
Yet my Sweet Master,
Greater learned not discourage to Your holy mother
Even all that I have said were true
Therefore, they’ve been punished for their pride!
Keep me Lord, form their sentiments and practices
Please give me share sentiments of gratitude
Esteem, Respect and Love
You has in regard to Your Holy Mother
The more I imitate her, follow her
The more I may Love and Glorify You
As if up to this point
Still I said nothing in honor of Your holy Mother
'Give me grace to praise You worthily,'
In spite of all her enemies, who are Yours as well
Grant me say loudly with the saints
'Let not that man believe to look for the mercy of Eternal God
Who offends His holy Mother
I believe in Heaven,
and I believe in Hell,
I believe that a believer,
should forgive as well.
I have seen the downfall,
that follows sin,
and putting distance between kin.
I have seen brothers,
turn on the other,
and family values fade,
further, and further.
I have seen I love you,
go without being said,
and go on pretending,
their life is being fed.
I believe the passage,
to a higher walk,
comes from living each day in love,
and forgiving ones faults.
Eyes are watching,
they see what we do,
if we claim it,
then we better be ready to follow it through.
The world has plenty,
to worry about,
these things will be answered,
one day, no doubt.
Sometimes we never know,
what we want.
The good, the bad,
the in between.
We reject what is good,
we want what is bad,
and want what we can't have.
We second guess ourselves,
creating doubt within.
Battling what our mind
and heart say.
Trying to figure out
what we truly desire.
Sometimes we are graced
Someone willing to give
a second chance.
You were my sunshine on a cloudy day
When it was cold I found warmth in what you’d say
Though our paths have changed and I’m no longer there
Inside my heart you still live and I shall always care.
There are many things I would like to have told you
Like I find inspiration in what you say and do
You have always been like a beacon to this lonely heart
You picked up all of the pieces and showed me where to start.
I’m glad to have known you; you were like a God send to me
Helped me to open my eyes and understand the things I see
I wish you peace and happiness from the bottom of my heart
You’ll always have a home even though we are apart.
I talked to you and saw you returning to yourself
I feel much sorrow that I made you something else
Just know that I would never try to cause you any harm
You know how it is when comes down to me and charm.
You always made me look and just see me
You created the foundation, the roots to the tree
Spread your wings and fly away I set you free
I want the same for you the best you that you can be.
Waking I find
Another chill encrusted day
Where I shall walk alone in step of time
To the blighted rhythm
Of what must be
And the looming shadows
Of what might have been
My only solace
Comes of looking back
Upon the horizon of
Where the fluxing tapestry
Of life and chance
Carried you soft and safe
Into my arms
And I held you
And you held me
And for a time
No wind of change
Could bear us sway
Some dreadful way how
My eyes left the beauty of yours
My arms reached out
For ambitions of pointless return
And in deafened silence
You slipped from me
For I held you not
And now I am left to search
Across the rolling linen waves
Of life and consequence
Holding hope that
Fate will grant me pardon
And bring you to me
But I age in waiting
I tire of hoping
I stammer in broken steps
For each night your vigil kept
Brings me aside my bed
To utter yet again
A prayer unanswered
The lost and found
all walk this earth.
We trudge along
till death from birth.
At the age of eighteen
the Lord found me
in my misery.
I asked for His help
and He showed me His love.
But when things got better
I suddenly had enough.
I was bound and determined
to do it my way.
My lust for the flesh
led me astray.
I never even knew
I was so alone.
My heart was so lonely.
It turned to stone.
Believing my life wasn't
as bad as it appears.
Lost in my addiction
of sex, drugs, and beers.
Stubbornly I continued
to live the lie.
Pretending I was happy
with no love in my life.
No matter how hard I tried
all I could do was fail.
I guess I was Jonah
and the earth was the whale.
Battered and beaten
after the world swallowed me.
Confused inside the belly.
of the whale in the sea.
I felt like a captive
and I had to get out.
Quietly whispered prayers
with a head full of doubt.
So lost in my sins
I didn't think He was near.
Softly I said, Lord are you there?
And You said, "I'm still here".
No longer living the life
of a sinners neglect.
Your forgiveness is love
that I'll never forget.
Now I know I haven't been forgotten.
Of this I have no doubt.
Because the Lord tickled that whale
and the earth spit me out. Amen
storm clouds gather
in the gray of your eyes
clearly I see the rage in you rise
my heart starts to pound
at my imminent demise
knowing what’s coming
the feeling, it’s numbing
your hatred is clear
even through the blur of my tears
but I’ll weather this storm
a routine that’s become our norm
the bruises I’ll hide
to no one will I confide
for fear of being alone
scarier than any violence you’ve shown
because this too shall pass
only a few moments will it last
you’re always sorry, so very sorry
holding me in your arms crying
I know that you’re trying
my tears become yours
forgiveness your eye implores
I should not have pushed you so
knowing where the argument would go
you tell me you love me
so gentle you can be
so tender your touch
next time I’ll remember
not to push so much
Indignant, his head hung low, eyes glassy, all he has is his memories.
Within the pain he can no longer tolerate, within the hundreds of enmeshed bodies…
Stinking and rotting.
All he has is his memories.
Escaping the frightful screams of death and the smell of blood,
He is remembering his fist love. He was so young, as was she.
Beautiful girl, kind hands, sweet voice and a carrot ever present in her pocket.
They rode and rode, hundreds of miles through trails and streams, as one
They loved each other’s company. Then a day came when she never showed.
He didn’t understand…but he could sense something wrong. SHE was gone.
Never coming back.
Then came a man, callous of hand, took him- roughly. He didn’t understand.
Pushed into a trailer, his feet fell through the rusted bottom- PAIN…
The man whipped him into another place. He stood bleeding as they drove away.
Arriving to a place. So cold, no lush grass, tiny area, no place to run and frollick-
The MAN took him out of the trailer, bleeding hocks and all- shuffled him into a barn
where the stench was raw. Threw a huge, heavy, ill fitting saddle upon his back. This man,
A Goliath even to this horse, pulled the cinch so tight he could not breathe. A bit
shoved in his mouth.
OUCH! A spade splitting his tongue- the huge man grabbed a whip and jumped right on.
“I’ll teach you not to be a WOMANS’ horse. You are now mine- you will be a MANS’ horse, and
Work like a horse should!” Shouting, the MAN spurred the horse into action- foot bleeding
the entire time.
The spade biting into his tongue, the horse raised his head, only to be beat between the
ears- the MAN was furious. Flying round and round they went-
This cruelty, this circus continued for many years. He was broken of leg and spirit at
the age of ten- whence upon the MAN called the “Meat guy”, and for a few hundred this
horse was sent to his end.
He stood in the corral of death awaiting his turn, for the bolt to shoot into his brain
and slide down the conveyor belt.
He remembered his first love during the last few seconds- her spirit came to him…
“Join me Apache, my beautiful mount, in Heaven we will be together where no one can hurt us…
He didn’t know what the words meant- but he knew his love was there to save him… he left
the crippled body behind and joined his true love before the cleaver sliced him apart.
*This is written for the thousands of horses sent to slaughter each year.
Your body is My temple,
When I dwell within your heart.
To give you a new foundation,
Is what I came in to start.
Each day I work to make you,
A better person than before.
Cleansing you of bad habits,
Giving you strength to sin no more.
I know part of you will fall,
And I will quickly come repair.
That which had broken down,
I won't leave you in despair!
Each day I will forgive you,
When you confess your sins to me.
I want to beautify this temple,
For the entire world to see!
And because I live inside you,
It is Me that you represent!
So when you speak to others,
They should see you did repent!
The changes in you I make,
Will be seen by one and all.
So follow My direction closely,
I want others My name to call!
Inspired by God
Reference; 1 Corinthians 6:9-20
This is not how I thought it would end
The air is leaving me so fast
I am alone, without a friend
The world before me is vast
My lungs are starting to burn
This breath I am about to take, will be my last
Forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.
Do not let me go without correcting my wrong
When they find out, my family will make such a fuss
My list of sins is far too long
Darkness is very near
I can no longer feel
There is nothing more for me to fear
None of this seems real
Once in awhile, I get so low I can feel myself falling faster into the quick sand. In this case, your love is the pit in which I’m sinking. Can you not hear me crying out for help? Because, I swear I can’t do this on my own. I need you to pull me up.. I guess you don’t see that inside I’m all shook up. I’ll be better off without you, that way I can get myself up and dressed out of this mess. You use me for your own good, but what about my sanity? This lovesick melody that I keep singing to is tearing apart the innocence of me. If you can’t see that, then why do I keep on trying to catch up to you? You won’t have to hear about it anymore though, I’m done with what you made me out to be. I’m too good to be set up by a fool like you! You’ll see one day, my dear. This melody that had me dying inside, is nothing more than music to the deaf now! But, don’t worry.. Maybe, one day you’ll see.. Just Don’t come back to me.
Everybody was horrified of Paul's scruffy looks
with dirt and mud smeared all over his wrinkled face,
and his long nose with dark spots on its tip;
and a grave digger matched that image,
but he was the nicest person on planet earth:
hard-working, estimable, amicable and honest.
After the day's work was done, Paul stared
at the empty lots and whispered to himself,
" Soon I'll be in one of them...I feel it coming! "
One unlucky afternoon he was standing
on the edge of a newly dug-up grave and accidently
slipped and fell into the twenty-feet excavation;
no screams for help were heard...he was dead!
That same afternoon, there was a burial
and as the corpse's coffin was lowered into the grave,
Father Michael spotted a body lying on the bottom of it,
and it resembled that of Paul....suddenly police
were notified and minutes later a fire truck arrived
to the dreary scene. Then two young firefighters
lowered themselves into the pitch-dark grave by holding
onto sturdy ropes, and without much effort,
they pulled his bruised and broken body:
he was pronounced dead at two-thirty.
Paul had a near-death experience, one of the most
incredible ones: he visited heaven, the place of bliss!
And as he climbed the gold stairway, he heard many voices
of those he knew in the previous life...they chanted glorifying God,
who was seated on an ivory throne surrounded by Archangels,
Saints and the Prophets whom he remembered from his Bible readings.
but it was not just noise, no, not to her.
It was the wild cries from the heavens, calling out to her, reassuring her that everything will be ok, that there is somebody out there who understands, who is just like her.
She emerges from her throne, in her cold, abandon dungon, in her lonly, abandon castle where she is kept prisoner. Kept prisoner from her dreams, her temptations, herself.
The scent stunns her.
Memories from her former life proceed to play like a movie in her memory...
a movie that she can not pause, can not forget.
She stumbles, -afraid to move for the thought that this magical moment may dissapear if she becomes too hasty- to her only escape.
Destroying the barriers that stand in her path.
The tiny rain drops fall from the sky,
releasing her temporarily from her own personal hell.
From the abandonment that overpowers her.
Lifting her pale, desolate face to the sky
she lets the rain wash away...
Wash away the hate
Wash away the pain
Wash away the lonliness
Wash away her...in the end.
No one would notice, the rain unselfishly disguises her pain so any on lookers would assume that the moisture is just from the malicious storm.
So rude, so loud, whips past her.
Attempting to knock the fragile being to the ground.
But she is strong, stronger than she thinks.
She is not phased by it's attempt.
Mother nature is kind.
The heavens cry out again,
begging the young girl to remember, to be happy.
But she cannot.
She can't breath.
She can't think.
Her heart stopped beating a long time ago.
Stopped dead in her lonly, broken chest,
and the heavens cannot understand why
No one can.
But no ones ever tried.
Suddenly, the vicious winds attack her once more,
this time getting a reaction.
A violent tremmor shakes her body
raising goosebumbps on her skin.
She barely notices.
Her imagination runs free,
unleashing all her memories, all her former happiness.
They all consist of Him.....
Someone very close to me has hurt me me badly,
vile words have come out of that vicious mouth,
condemning me of many unjust deeds,
am I to remain silent and defenseless as Christ...
while I'm lashed and stripped of dignity?
More bitter than a lemon, which has never enough
sunlight to sweeten the juice within it;
I have endured evil and have learned how to be patient,
not to fight back with the same viciousness.
O, hurt me again, I will not say anything...
a saint can be martyred for his belief,
but never he will be tortured in the next life!
He holds my weakened hand tightly,
giving me courage, keeping me safe;
I look to the Heavens and glory is mine!
I am not as bitter as a lemon anymore,
forgiveness has taken long to come...
to make me realize that my agony
is nothing compared to the reward awaiting me!
Every angel smiles and welcomes me with joy;
every gate is open for me to enter freely,
and I wish that person could feel loved and be like me...
walking towards God to know how kind and forgiving He is!
When you, Trapped me deep Within Your Robes.
thus Forgiven; I have forgiven you so many times
and you and yes and you.
Yet lest you remember it now naught.
For Tampa, ' was in nineteen sixty five.
Lake Magdalene, I saw no priests nor a
single nun and my mother was not supperior.
What I did see was wrong to be there only seven.
When I am gone the sun so of't
from whom did we protect me from.
Forgotten I have been by you,
and all of the Chief Judges saw me,
when back then, was it considered normal?
That which was done to one single child back then
went off too many men then grown from which
has left no middle ground on which too stand.
Being said, ' Would I then dare to so remind you
why have I been forgotton now
and then if naught from whence or where is yours shame
whose shame before I die.
Did you do it not to yours, 'but a skinny frightned child?
Mr.Wilson and me a few others and knew Tampa stadium
that night as the Washington Redskins played
the Miami Dolpins when even before,
Robert Allen "Bob" was so Griese.
is it poetry
Dear old St. Gregory spent fifteen years
trapped at the bottom of a dungeon
around 301 AD, bringing Christianity to Armenia.
What madness then drove him to save the king and his men?
What boundless love!
In the Cathedral ruins
The ghosts seem friendly
Pigeons homely, air sweet
Clouds white with a hint of rain
The drops fall on the roofless relic
Like the ancient bombs
Failings of us all
Trying not to be religious
Humanity should think of itself
A bee gathers honeysuckle
People can love
The things I used to say,
How I thought of you,
I was wrong.
My perspective of the situation was about me,
and what I wanted.
Not about what you wanted,
or your opinion was really heard.
This entire time, I chose to ignore
what was being said.
Not because I didn't want to hear it,
but because you cared.
And yet, I chose to
throw you under a bus,
practically betray you because
I wasn't content with what I had.
I chose to seek more than "just friends".
Which is what you wanted the whole time,
and yet I was asking for more.
I have come to terms with this,
becoming content, and accepting
As I value your friendship more than any other.
You gave me attention noone else would.
You saw me for who I was,
saw beyond this outside appearance,
that is unappealing to most.
You were the first and only woman who was comfortable with being with me.
Even as "just friends."
That trusted me,
that just wanted to talk to,
and actually listened to me.
You were always good to me, and I will cherish it always.
And I fear that losing you and what I have,
I will never feel these emotions ever again.
I will never have an opportunity to feel more than what I have with you.
I wronged you in so many ways,
when you did nothing to deserve this.
I did this feeling hurt, when in fact it was my mind
that was destroying me.
I know I was wrong,
all that needed to be done,
was change the perspective,
and see things through your eyes.
This poem I write to my oldest son.
In hopes maybe he’ll forgive the things that I’ve done.
The heaviest load I placed on you.
Not once did I ask, my words were just do.
Boy you do this, boy you do that.
Did I ever say thank you, or give you a pat?
Son I’m sorry I know I was rough.
Like the song “ A boy named Sue “ I figured you’d need to be tough.
I thank God for age and the wisdom it brings.
And son I thank God for you, is why I’m writing these things.
I’m glad we finally quit bumping heads and decided to get along.
And I thank God for the wisdom to show me I was wrong.
Son you know I love you, and you’re always on my mind.
Thank you for loving me back, you are a precious find.
There is no turning back the pages for the things which we have done.
But it honors me to know you are my oldest son.
Love You Chris, Papa
Into the darkness,
where eyes can't see,
only voices crying,
"what is happening to me."
"Is anyone out there,
where daylight dwells,
do you have an answer,
does anyone care?"
Paper stacked up,
with no value at all,
vaults with guards,
behind these walls.
The forgotten word,
from somewhere within,
forgive me Father,
for I know I have sinned.
I left My glory,
And came down to earth.
In a lowly way,
Of a child's birth.
I grew through the years,
Overcoming all temptation.
So I could present Myself,
A sacrifice for your salvation.
Throughout My ministry,
I did My Father's will.
Even knowing that one day,
For sin, My blood would spill!
I suffered the cross,
Loving you kept Me there.
Because I wanted a,
Relationship we could share.
Dying for you so I,
Could wash away your sin.
And once you've asked,
I'll come live with-in.
It's for you I came,
And all others too!
Because I want to spend,
Eternity with you!
I wonder which way the wind will blow me today.
It really doesn’t matter, so long as Jesus is with me, I know I’m okay.
The one thing I’ve learned is when Jesus takes you to it.
He’ll never leave you He will get you through it.
Time was when I thought I was in control, aka tough guy.
My wife and mom would look at me in disgust, and it was always the same
They would get on my case and it just seemed to make matters worse.
Then one day I woke up and said Lord I’m tired of living this lie, help me Lord,
help me remove this curse.
You know that’s just what He did, but I had to open the door.
And now I know I love Jesus, but guess what I know He loves me more.
It’s hard to explain, when you know, you know, you know, it’s that kind of deal.
You’ll feel His presence, and you’ll know it’s real.
The bible, before didn’t make much sense, I just couldn’t get into it.
But now I read it with joy and can see how His words fit.
The key is Jesus is knocking on your door, but it’s up to you to invite Him in.
Invite Him in, Jesus is your friend, ask for forgiveness and repent of your sins.
If Jesus can love me I know for sure He’ll love you to.
His arms are aching to hold you, it’s your choice, open that door and let your
Savior enter through.
Praises To our Savior
I walked into the church,
And what did I see?
Hundreds of eyes,
Just looking at me.
What were they thinking,
What was on their mind?
Was it my new face,
Or judgement of some kind?
The further I went,
The more they did stare.
Would I be accepted,
Or wouldn't they care?
As the service went on,
Things began to change.
To some I was a target,
At the local shooting range!
But from many there,
I would get a smile.
The people next to me,
Just looked at me awhile.
As the service ended,
I stayed in the pew.
Hoping that maybe,
I would be greeted by a few.
But as I looked around,
I noticed they were gone.
Everyone was in a hurry,
No one stayed very long.
For more than a month,
I returned week after week.
Only to find out that,
To me they wouldn't speak!
I went to find Jesus,
And to grow in the Word.
But it was only silence,
Thats all that I heard!
Where was the love,
Didn't they really know?
It's the Lord Jesus,
Our reflection should show?
Needless to say,
Soon I didn't go back.
Loneliness in their church,
They did not lack!
We must open our hearts,
Greet them with a smile.
Extend forgiveness and love,
Now that's Jesus' style!
Reference; Revelation 3: 1-9 (NLT)
Millie lived on the corner, she told me it would be kind If I visited Olaf
across the street.....see, his wife of 65 years had passed away recently,
and Olaf was kinda outa sorts....he'd been taking care of her the last few years
while she was very ill. Olaf was a kind, first-generation Norwegian, he used to call
me "yimmy" when he saw me comin' across the street....clap his hands with delight!!
exclaiming yimmy! yimmy!
Olaf lived a spartan life now with his wife gone...when we were out on errands
he would shout ....Praise Jesus! to everyone and anybody in sight! pretty neat.
We made the same stops every week, 1st. we'd stop at Lutheran Colportage
to pick up handfuls of 50 cent crosses, he liked to hand these out to everyone!
then we stopped at the Taystee Outlet for day-old baked goods, followed by a stop
at the grocery store for chicken nuggets and american cheese (he only knew how,
or wanted to, use the microwave) that was the sum of his diet. We had a fun time!
After about six-months, I quit pickin' him up.....I don't know why......I regret it still,
I heard he used to ask people....where's yimmy?
He died about three weeks later, now he's with Jesus.
A hidden past,
shall always stand,
inside the heart,
of mortal man.
He who thinks,
it shall never arise,
is foolish to the bone,
living captive in a lie.
A living reminder,
our conscience within,
brings into focus,
where we have been.
Fear not the truth,
it is what it is,
as comfort comes,
from a bitter kiss.
We were inseperable for many memorable years,
We enjoyed the laughter, overcame the pain and even cried some tears.
Whenever you were in trouble, I was your angel without the wings,
I taught you to be brave as well as to strive and achieve many remarkable things.
I was your Idol, your sister and your best friend,
I promised that we would be that way until the very end.
But Indifference, something interveened and we were suddenly parted,
The dreams we planned would never become reality and that too had left us
I realized that there was nothing I could do to keep us all together,
I then felt like a liar for having said that we would always share forever.
With our strength, we held on tight until they pried us away,
I bid back the tears and retained the pain as you screamed that you had wanted
With a trembling hand, I waved goodbye and for you, tried to appear strong,
Then fell to my knees in agony and plea, finding it hard to render that you were
Even now I can see that gloomy day play over and over in my dreams,
Oh God forgive me for making a promise to them that I just could not keep.
Where there is strength
you will find unity.
Let there be no more division.
May the grandfather spirits
place forgiveness in your hearts, and soften them
while pride moves out of the way.
May the blood you share become strong
and never again be poisoned by
un forgiveness and hate.
Can't you hear the songs
the warrior spirits are singing
about lost battles, broken families
and battle scars?
May their cries ring in your ears
some warriors never come home
from their battles.
May the rains come down
on both of you and
wash away the war paint,
so you may recognize each other.
May the skies above thunder
as grandfather spirits dance
a dance of remembrance.
May your paths cross again
and the winds join together
what has long been separated.
May spirits of wisdom guide
both of you toward your destiny.
And may father time heal
‘ A Poet Goes To War … ’ ( Josh. 23: 10, 11 )
A Gentle-Poet … Goes To War
Oh … How Far … How Far … How Far …
Did You Push A Tender Heart
before Poet Finishes, What You Start ?
Just Like That Musician, Shepherd – Boy
whom a Lion and Bear, Dared Annoy ------ 1 Sam. 17: 37
Trying to Steal Some of His Precious Sheep
Poet, Showed Them … What’s His … He Keeps !
And That Same, Brave-Poet Went To War
Against Goliath’s Insulting, Roar ! ------ 1 Sam. 17: 45 – 51
… But With just One Pebble Fling
That Poet’s, Sling, Thru All Of Time … Rings !
And If A Wise-Poet Goes To War …
That Poet … May Wound and Scar ------- Acts 7: 54, 57
For Words, Gouge Deeper Than Stones
Pen’s Mightier Than Sword … Cuts Clean To The Bone !
But, You made Poet … ‘your’ Foe, with Mock-Chimes
The First Thought … Just Give Them, Calm-Down-Time
But, Know … This Poet Thrives … Behind Enemy Lines
Forgiving and Wishing, God-Giving, Words-Divine !
‘Cause When Peace-Loving-Poets… Go To War …
‘We’ … Must Travel by: The Bright Morning Star --- Rev. 22: 16
and Wait on His Orders … His Way
and I’m Cautious … Like ‘The Commander’ Says … -- Matt. 10:16
So, Before you feel The Need To Spar ---- Zeph. 2: 2, 3
Before… Big Poets … Have To Go To War ---- Genesis thru Revelation
… Know That Such Poets … Are Word–Warriors
… Don’t Make ‘em Go Off … on ya’ !
‘Cause you Won’t Survive … The Tongues of Fire ---- Acts 2: 3, 4
( or The ‘ Lake ’ Either … If You Live Like A Liar … ) --- Rev. 21: 7, 8
Gon’ Wind Up, Locked Behind Abyss’ Bars
… For Making ‘ Poor-Poets ’ … Go To Wars ! ---- Matt. 18: 6
The shadows are gone now,
as the sun brings new life,
a new beginning,
as this eagle takes flight.
still have their place,
but this humble soul,
was saved by God's Grace.
For unexplained reasons,
my weakness is gone,
I see now the consequence,
of a sinners song.
Fresh is the morning,
warm is the rain,
as a whole new world,
unlocks miseries chains.
Dying on that blood-dripping cross,
Jesus felt sympathy for the wailing and weeping women,
and turning to the good thief:
He promised a place for him in Paradise...
and feeling forsaken He called out to His Father again.
Suddenly lightning stroke,
and thunder caused havoc!
A great earthquake shook the foundations of the Temple,
darkness descended as if it were night and made the Pharisees tremble!
He not only forgave one....but all,
and expiring, he gave up His breath;
and yet some did not believe He would have risen up!
He lay there for two days, and on the third day He rose:
the tomb's stone swiftly rolled away...
as the Roman soldiers were blinded by a radiant light;
yes, they did see the Christ who had died,
a Christ crowned King: claiming His power and glory!
He not only forgave one...but all by showing them a love so unsullied;
how could they have been so skeptical about a resurrection that really occurred?
Copyright (C) 2010 by Andrew Crisci
What is going to happen when every ones credit gets shut off?
We will be like a bunch of pigs scrambling, only to find no food is in the trough.
If the National Debt were paid off today, do you know how much it would cost
every man, woman, and child?
Each person would have to pay $29,000.00, now ain’t that wild?
It’s like we’ve gotten ourselves into a bog with no way out.
Well I know of but one way but skeptics will argue and try to show their clout.
How did we get to be this great power, the Home of the Free?
It was when God was given the honor and glory, this some will agree.
God is our Father and He only wants to give us His best.
And all He asks in return is for us to honor and praise Him, such a simple
But no something happened we let the minority rule,
By taking away the simplest of things like prayer in our schools.
If you felt unwanted somewhere I wonder if you’d stay?
Did you ever stop and think just maybe God too feels this way?
Has the Doom Day clock already been set?
I think it can be turned around there maybe hope for us yet.
But first we must unlock and open the door and invite Him back again.
Then we will see a change in things when our Savior is home my friend.
We’ve tried both ways and the latter did not work.
So bend your knees and ask Him back, stop listening to those jerks.
My eyes were opened to a bright red burning veil.
Sun scorched and Moon dried,
It was fried!
But, I brought it some water in a crystal blue pale.
The more it burned higher went the scale,
God knows that I at least tried.
There was just nowhere to hide.
But, I wasn’t about to fail.
I put the veil in the water and made it wet.
I held it to the Sun and the Moon to air dry.
The veil melted and glowed where it was set.
It was sparkling and made me want to cry.
Perception had been weakened to what it really should be.
At least, that’s what the burning veil conveyed to the truth inside of me!
As the fragrance fades,
of love once so deep,
into the unknown,
where she now weeps.
Silent she stares,
at what once was there,
pictures, a reminder,
when her children were there.
Silver is her hair,
her body frail, and weak,
she calls their names,
as the tears roll down her cheeks.
Where have they gone,
why don't they call,
forgotten in time,
trying to recall.
Miles are between them,
their busy days, and nights,
just trying to survive,
and a mother cries.
Lonely she is,
and lonely she will be,
as she hangs their pictures,
on her Christmas Tree.
I turn my back and look the other way,
My shadow is a bliss you hope and pray!
I’m walking on water at the stroke of midnight,
Searching for the hope of a breaking daylight!
Everything’s just so incredibly beyond bright!
Closing my eyes to a brand new day,
Shutting down inside and feeling everything just die.
My thoughts surely would make you an empty man inside!
I’m walking on water in the shadows of daybreak,
Searching for the hope of my lost and alone faith!
Everything’s just so outrageously beyond great!
I close my mind to the brand new light of day.
Closing my eyes and just walking away,
But my shadow you hope and pray will surely stay.
I’m walking on water at the peak of nightfall,
Looking for this huge magnificently clear waterfall!
Everything’s just so enormously beyond tall!
I close my eyes and I begin to pray.
My thoughts could surely give hope to all,
For I walk on water on each and every day!
With her barbed wire stare
Rusty braids of disheveled hair
She offered me a dash of hate
With her wrinkled upper lip
Clenched fists on unwanted hips
She offered me a teaspoon of hate
With shards of light debunking night
Sharpening temptation with psychotic spite
She offered me a tablespoon of hate
With her bare feet carving the kitchen floor
Bludgeoning my shadow beneath the door
She offered me an ounce of hate
With roses concealing my protruding hand
Redolent with forgiveness and all that is man
She offered me…a glass of wine
My baby girl called,
to see how I was,
her usual routine,
I immediately knew,
something was wrong,
her voice was different,
absent that merry little song.
She wanted to know,
why do some dads change,
why can't they stay daddies,
and always be the same?
He never calls me,
anymore just to talk,
although he lives,
only a short distance to walk.
He is too wrapped up,
in making a dime,
he's really self centerd,
but to his children, he's blind.
Nothing I could say,
would make the hurt go away,
I told my daughter,
God opens eyes,
as He touches the heart,
and sometimes He allows us time,
to make a new start.
The dearness of our children,
can't be replaced,
but you must forgive him,
never say hate.
Time is the keeper,
of every mans soul,
one day he will remember,
one day when he is old.
I read a poem just today.
Called the ignorant Christian and I felt sympathy almost right away.
It’s been over two thousand years since our Savior died.
But every day I see His name being unfairly crucified.
And to those of us who follow we’re called the ignorant ones.
For wanting a better life when this one is done.
You can’t take the Bible and turn into just certain things you want to hear.
Although it teaches forgiveness it also teaches fear.
Jesus says repent and from our sins we must turn away.
It’s not an easy battle but one we must fight each and every day.
Being a Christian is not always an easy road.
We face some of what Jesus went through with a much lesser load.
Personally I feel the time is near.
It’s time for Christians to boldly stand up for Jesus and stand up without fear.
When the reckoning days have come and He reaches for His book.
Is your name going to be in it wouldn’t you like to take a look?
Would you like to be set free?
Then say this simple sinners’ prayer with me:
Lord please forgive me, I repent and seek Your forgiveness of all my earthly sins.
I know you died for my sins, You were nailed to the cross, were buried but
death couldn’t hold You, for You arose again.
I accept you as my Savior and will share Your mighty word.
If you say that and mean it you can be sure our Savior heard.
Thank you and God bless you.
The old man sat there waiting, he knew this day would come.
Accused for crimes he hadn’t done, because simply he’d been a bum.
The life he had led while on the streets, he lived as best he could.
He had heard the shots he’d seen him fall, he only wanted to help as any
decent man would.
Laying there beside the dying man, lay the shooters gun.
He picked it up not even knowing what he had just now done.
He had sealed his fate for helping someone, how ironic don’t you see.
He was tried in an honest court, by honest men, but still he was found guilty.
The judge came back and sentenced him, and with his closing words he said,
may the Lord have mercy on your soul.
And with the sentence handed him, death would be the final goal.
Stunned, shocked, and angry too, he said Lord what did I do?
A feeling of calm came over him, as a voice inside his head, said I know I’ve
been there too.
Forgive them the voice it said, forgive them for they still know not what they do.
As they strapped him down and started the drugs, he whispered Lord I do, I
forgive them too.
Well, what have we learned since our Saviors death?
And, the forgiveness in His heart, as he breathed His final breath.
Kind of like the same old song with different words and rhymes.
The only thing that has seemed to have changed is the settings and the times.
Sometimes let your heart be the judge and not your foolish eyes.
Sometimes if you close your eyes and listen with your heart you can distinguish
the truth from the lies.
Let the Lord lead your thoughts with an open mind.
Your true purpose in life if you trust in Him, He will help you find.
Step into this dream called love,
where feeling of happiness,
are sealed with a hug.
Once so barren,
your soil unturned,
forgiveness now learned.
Share the message,
within your heart,
tomorrows new start.
Remember the hardships,
they have made you strong,
all the mistakes, all along.
Today is a new day,
the slate is clean,
many blessings to be seen.
Live your life,
share your heart,
get ready, get set, start.
I have in my heart,
the most precious gift,
given through love,
my eternal lift.
Free of charge,
the bill paid on the cross,
where He took my sins,
now forever lost.
Each breath I take,
is by His Grace,
and when I die,
a new life does wait.
Tomorrow comes and oh God how it goes!
Do I care, why should I lend all of my spares?
I’ll never know what tomorrow holds!
“Oh my”, how could I, what is it that I need to do?
Blessed by God, sure he loves me but what about you?
Why today and why tonight I really don’t care!
I know that I love me no matter what my eyes can see!
Take it all but hold the very last thought that we share!
My God, My God how I hope you all know what it is that you truly believe!
“Oh my”, capture and redeem my mind!
Complete my being that lives alive inside of me!
God you love me, these eyes have no doubt with that which they can see!
“God”, you know you have done all of this to me!
Oh how you have loved these things that I can see!
Sheltered, protected, yet, condemned by that which I know you believe!
If I could, I think that I would, but oh God how I do stand here!
Come and get me with all of that, which I know you believe!
Please God, just come take my all of me!
I am still here my Lord and I hold no fear!
Tomorrow, hmm just another day for me to believe!
Oh well! Guess I’ll just have to see it through!
Ask me anything and I will tell you!
I think we all know what it is that we should do!
Escaping the reality of what really should be,
Oh God, I am so very here do you know what tomorrow will be?
I’m still here my Lord and I am holding absolutely no fear!
Each morning the Sun rises to approach a brand new day.
No doubt that I do love me!
Embraced with the thought that you have come just for me,
I’m engulfed with this moment that I have finally achieved.
Oh my, I know that I could because I am coming to you.
Where are you my Lord I just need to be so very near!
God you do love me! Oh how I knew that you always would!
I’ve walked so many miles with you each and every single day,
And I am still right here my Lord and I hold no fear!
© COPYRIGHT: 1997 ANN RICH
In the midst of communion we should all be of one accord
looking to repent and receiving forgiveness from the Lord
yet people tend to look only for some type of revenge
from those whom they think have taken something from them
to demand from another what they think they are due
unwilling to forgive a debt until it is through
yet God believes that forgiveness should be a state of mind
where one should be able to move past the betrayals after a time
to relax, to release and to learn to let it go
to move beyond our hurt feelings, emotions and egos
we are all in debt to Our Lord Jesus the Christ
a debt that we can never repay for the rest of our lives
yet God looks beyond our faults, our failures and mistakes
and He'll always forgive us no matter how long it takes
God looks beyond our selfishness and our attitudes
He looks pasts our pettiness and ever changing moods
a horizontal forgiveness coming down from the Heavenly Throne
but a vertical forgiveness to each other we can't seem to own
we've forgotten that God gives us His forgiveness in so many ways
yet we can't seem to forgive each other on any given day
when we fail to forgive we bring upon ourselves stress
when we hold on to the petty grudges and the bitterness
we make ourselves sick over some supposed attack
and all we can focus on is having a big payback
to be upset and angry all of the time
too preoccupied to even have God on our minds
looking for revenge and just wanting to get even
so full of rage that only red we are seeing
but that is not the way that God wants us to live
for it was His saving grace that to us He did give
to turn the other cheek to forgive and to forget
to be in step with the Son and the Holy Spirit
don't let the duck of failure hang over your head
seek to be like Jesus and have a life that's spirit led
to live to forgive with no desire to attack
to learn to forget about having a big payback
If ever I had to wonder,
I would simply wonder why our paths were even destined to cross.
Obviously, I have so many things I have to wonder,
Because my love carries the strength of steel and an armor of cloth!
No doubt that I will think of the many things that could always make me sigh.
But I know that I’d forever wonder why so much pain comes with an inevitable loss?
“Tis a soul for a soul and one cast out with your solemn moment of pride”.
If ever I should have to wonder,
Indeed I would have wondered where?
Where is the beginning and where is the end to this forsaken way of life?
Where does all this “hidden truth” lay and why is it that I’m still standing and I can survive?
No doubt that I will think of the many things that I could always compare,
But I know that I’d forever wonder how much warmth there really is out there to share.
Brought down from sorrows below my beliefs have become my sacrifice.
If ever I had to wonder,
I’d simply wonder where?
Where do we go when we go away and why is it that we even have to leave?
Where is this truth and why should I be the only one that will produce my beliefs?
No doubt that I would think of the many things that could always make me instantly care.
But I know that I would forever wonder why there’s so much hope with all of this despair.
‘Tis a soul for a soul and each is in such a constant dire of eternal need”!
If ever I should have to wonder,
I’d simply wonder why this was all even meant to be.
Why could you not see the power and the glory that God has invested in the life of me?
Obviously so many things to have to wonder because love carries so many will’s that fizzle
No doubt that I would think of the many things that could always make me sad and cry.
But I know that I will forever wonder was it I, the one who has been received?
But most of all I will forever wonder what is it that you, as one, really believe?
© Copyright: 1998 Ann Rich
I am so small,
within His hands,
this man called Jesus,
who will always understand.
Never to busy,
to watch my back,
and balance out,
the things I lack.
Guidance He gives,
when I am lost,
and lets me know,
I am not the boss.
When I say,
it can't be done,
He whispers softly,
make a stand, don't run.
His love is free,
available to all,
He is never to busy,
to take that call.
Faith, Hope, and Love,
from His heart to ours,
in our darkest hours.
A young woman sits alone on the steps of a church,
her heart is so full of pain, she has been through so
All by herself, and afraid to go in, what will these people
think about all her sins.
Then out of nowhere, an old lady appeared, and sat
down beside her, asking, "why all the tears."
The young woman told her about her past, and lost years,
and the reason for her pain, and all the tears.
As the old lady listened to her every word, they brought
back so many memories, as she listened to this poor girl.
Then she told the young woman, she was once lost too,
but God sent her a miracle, with a heart so true.
For sixty years, she had loved only one man, who
had a heart full of compassion, and was able
"For the last forty years, he had ministered here,
his spirit is so strong, I still feel him here."
"My son has taken the ministry now, and he is so
excited to be back in his hometown."
"So let us hurry inside, and find us a seat,
you know, God has a lot of good people in there
for you to meet."
Two Little Words
I see a broken heart in the making.
The smile I see I know she’s faking.
The hurt this time is more than even she can bear.
What has happened to me, I act like I don’t even care.
We had such a great thing but it all went away.
Two little words were all I had to say.
But I couldn’t bring them to light.
I let foolish pride win this fight.
Sometimes I think I carry my brains in my back pocket.
One little spark will set me off like a rocket.
To quick to accuse to slow to give praise.
What’s happened to us, what happened to the better days.
The empty promises that were never kept and certain things she never heard.
The many tears I could’ve stopped with just two little words.
She’s standing at the door with a bag or two.
She’s giving me a chance and I know what to do.
Baby I’m sorry, that’s all it took.
And it didn’t hurt a bit if you could have just seen that look.
Those two little words were all she was waiting for.
Two little words kept her from packing up and leaving in her old car.
What does your love mean to me?
It means I have a hand to hold,
and I'll never be alone,
my life will have new meaning,
even when I am so old.
It means a heart of devotion,
no other can compare,
a place of refugee,
given freely, when others don't care.
It means I have a friend,
to guide me through the storm,
and no one can take you from me,
for I have been reborn.
It means you gave it freely,
something others want to charge,
no other can ever make me whole,
only You, with your gracious heart.
I means you give salvation,
a gift more precious than gold,
mine to keep forever,
and my place in heaven, You hold.
We were inseperable for many memorable years,
We shared the laughter, endured the pain and even cried some tears.
Whenever you were in toruble, I was your angel without the wings,
I taught you to be brave as well as to always strive to achieve
I was your mother, your sister and your best friend,
I promised that we would be this way until the very end.
But Indifference, something interveened and we were suddenly parted,
Your cries to be saved left me so broken hearted.
I realized that there was nothing that I could do to keep us all together,
I didnt even know how to answer when you asked If our absence would last
We held on tight with all of our might until they pried us away,
I bid back the tears to fall from my eyes as you screamed that you had wanted to
With a trembling hand, I waved goodbye and for you, I tried to appear strong,
then slowly fell to me knees in pain and plea having not grasp that you were
There was a time not long ago!
You were my friend and not my foe.
But somehow things got turned around.
Now it’s hatred that will be found.
We knew each other since we were small.
Forever friends we swore to all.
We stuck by that for many years.
Now all that’s left is memories and tears.
What was it that caused this terrible thing?
The words spoken now have such an awful sting.
Once you said you’d watch my back.
And now I dare not turn it to you, because of hate and trust I lack.
You swore to be my friend until the bitter end.
Well here’s the end, now where’s the friend?
I do not know the reason why.
We let our friendship just up and die.
If it’s an apology you’re looking for.
I’ll be the man to open that door.
Forgive me friend if I’ve done wrong.
For I want you back where you belong.
Lord please forgive me for the anger that is in my heart.
Lord I need to talk with you, but I really don’t know where to start.
I know that you won’t forgive an unforgiving heart.
I repent all my ill feelings and walk away that is my part.
Things have been said the words were from the flesh.
That is why I chose to repent, cleanse me and make me fresh.
Lord I ask forgiveness for me and all involved.
Lord this is a mystery not for me to try and solve.
Bitterness only darkens the corners of my heart.
It’s like a festering sore, one that gets bigger and will not depart.
The more that you feed it the bigger it becomes.
Leaving you cold and bitter with a soul forever numb.
Lord if you would guide our mouth and guide our words.
Lord let this dissension be settled with soft spoken words, and let every voice
that is among us let it be heard.
Father should we be in discourse then let it be settled and made right.
Let us all grow in faith and always keep your word in sight.
For it is your love and forgiveness we pray for and we seek.
It is your word that gives us strength it is food for the meek.
Please forgive us and love us, this I ask of you.
Help us be better Christians in all the things we do.
In Jesus’ name I pray let your will be done. Amen
I think of all the mistakes I’ve made,
Then I think about the price our dear Savior paid.
And it makes me feel guilty all the wrongs I have done,
And could I allow those things done to Jesus done to my son.
And sometimes I think we really don’t care,
With all the killing and stealing and filthy words that we swear.
We show respect when it is convenient for us is the way that it seems,
When there is no one else to turn to, is when our faith really beams.
Maybe it was just too long ago, is it a sign that we need?
Revelation is being filled everyday that we speak so we have to pay heed!
The seals are being opened and the trumpets are blowing,
Repent of your sins and stop evil from growing.
The choices are simple but you’d better choose wise,
Satan is out there to tempt you with his sugar coated lies.
I by no means am perfect but we all have to try,
To live our lives for Jesus before we should die.
Death can come up on us anytime day or night,
Lay down your sinful ways and ask for forgiveness do it tonight.
The world is out of control it’s changing so fast,
Signs are all around us don’t think it can last.
Politicians are saying that God doesn’t belong,
In schools or at work well I say that they are wrong.
Today I can speak but I don’t know how much longer,
The ones against God seem to be growing stronger and stronger.
He suffered for us so we should suffer for Him,
Should we have to stick our neck out let’s stick it way out on the limb.
Lord I’ve been to the garden and knelt down on both knees.
I prayed to you with prayers and often with needful pleas.
I thought that I had reached a place where I was safe and sound.
That you would protect and keep me from evil all around.
So quickly did I learn that that was not the case.
For evil seems to follow like a game of chase.
If you ever take your eyes off the Masters Words.
Wickedness is invited in, in case you haven’t heard.
Bitterness is just a key to let the devil in.
Forgiveness is the way to heal this mortal sin.
Bitterness breeds anger, and anger just leaves hurt.
Show only love and forgiveness and keep your mind alert.
A tongue used in gossip is a dirty tongue indeed.
It only breeds hatefulness and spreads the devils seed.
Gossiping and sharing are often one in the same.
We Christians are bad about sharing and pointing fingers as to who’s the one
Sometimes it seems so hard to build up our fellow man.
I know that we can do it, for God says we can.
When I get really down I picture our Savior there on Cavalry Hill.
I can just imagine the horror and the sadness as he took that bitter pill.
The Lamb of God was slain that day crucified but still He bowed His head to pray.
Forgive them Father, they no not what they do were the words our Savior said
Nailed to that cross like a mere piece of meat.
While the most precious of all blood ran from His hands, head, side and feet.
Why, why, why can’t we ever learn?
It’s kind of like we want to go to hell, and bitterness, anger, and hate is what we
desire or maybe what we even yearn!
Lord Jesus please forgive us and show us what is right.
There are too many deceivers that are hiding in Your precious light.
Thank You for allowing me to express what’s in my heart.
Thank You for forgiving me each time I always fall a little short.
The news of tomorrow came today yet somehow i got lost along the way .
So i checked again and found my soul bleeding profainly from a gapeing hole.
Knowing that this would be the end i tried to patch the hole by saveing a friend.
She opened the wound even deeper i never should have tried to keep her.
Resigned to my fate knowing it was much to late i let her go .
The bleeding stoped but the hole is still there i doubt that she even cares.
As I have flash backs to things of the past.
I remember seeing on tv a riot and how it got out of hand so fast.
In Los Angeles in a placed called Watts,
There was looting and robbing, some were ducking while others were taking
Buildings were burning there was chaos on the streets.
It was like watching a movie but no one wanted to be in the first row of seats.
It was unbelievable the things that were shown.
And in just a few hours how it had escalated and had gotten full blown.
They said it was caused by injustice, police brutality and they had taken more
than their share.
It didn’t have to happen, it could have been prevented if it were handled with
People scoffed at Rodney King when he said why can’t we all just get along.
After nearly been beaten to death by L.A.’s finest when they knew they were
In Gods eyes we all are equal He created us all.
So who put up the barrier who erected the wall.
Hatred is like a never healing festering sore.
That is always demanding more, more, more.
I don’t have the answer, I don’t have the cure,
But I know someone that does of this I am sure.
Communities in general need to help in policing there streets.
Put a stop to prostitution and drug dealing let them know defeat.
Control what your kids do, who they see, just get involved let your kid know that
Be a part of their lives show them love and affection and that it feels best when
it is shared.
This world can be turned around.
But only where love can be found.
I have had a block?
Out on my ear, quite a shock.
No talking any more.
Will not open the door.
Cannot say sorry or try again.
To be blocked is a pain.
In Coventry am I.
I don't know why.
To be friends again.
I want to try.
How do you know
When to come clean
I will say
Will only hurt you
In the end
Will it set me free?
There’s only one chance
You and me
That’s what we once said
Meant to last
Till’ were both dead
A lot will
After I say what
I have to say
Do you understand?
I still love you
Just as the first
Day I saw
It’s just something
I have to confess
What am I to do
I’m so confused
Should I do this or that
What’s right what’s wrong
I don’t even know
I’ve lost all control
Of my life
Thoughts of suicide cross
Because then I wouldn’t feel any pain
It would all erase away
am I going insane?
On what to do
All I can think about
My mind keeps saying
Is what my heart says
I know deep
That your heart
Won’t be able
To take the truth
But here goes
It hurts me to say this
But I must confess
What people have been
Telling you is true
I cheated on you
It was just one of those things
Short, sexy, summer fling
To me it didn’t mean a damn thing
So now where do we begin
Confessions now out in the open
Our relationship torn apart
I feel like it’s all my fault
Emotions taking me over
Will I ever find
To stay or leave
The choice only you
I’m sorry and I still
Puddles of perfection, ripple with time,
endless motion between your world, and mine.
Snow caves of imagination, heated by thought,
foolish is the keeper when nothing is sought.
Broken desires the wind at your heels,
reaper of truth still lusting for a thrill.
Words spoken in anger cut like a blade,
flowers of forgiveness, thrown upon your grave.
Suppressed behind this afflicted excuse of a cover up
A hurting young lady lies
Afraid to show her face to the eyes,
eyes of the man who hurt her
And repeatedly told her she would never be nothing in life
As her preceded to rape her
Stripping her of her dignity, as she was losing all her sanity
Her hurt filled screams of fear
Followed and accompanied with the streams
Of way more than just one tear
never seemed to move this man
Who’s breath reeked of bud light beer
Who’s eyes tattled about the weed he had smoked just hours before
Which was slowly tearing down his body
As he compressed himself on top of her
Taking her precious virginity,
Innocence she would never get back
Just so he could go and tell his homeboys “Oh I hit that”
Now this young lady feels alone
Afraid to open up to another
Another victim who has the same story
Who could help her through
And possibly get her in church to kneel by the alter
Kneel and ask God to give her a forgiving heart
So one day she’ll be able to forgive this
sad specimen of a man
A man who has her alone and scared
Afraid to show her face, because of what these
Judgmental people may think
Not knowing the truth, The truth that lies behind
Behind her undried teary eyes
The truth she decided to cover up,
after being raped and feeling unclean
Hoping it will help forget the mean and ungodly things
This sorry excuse of a man did to her
She never played the fool
Just went by the rules
Being a player in this over-rated game of life
And yet she is a prisoner of words unsaid
Left searching for peace inside herself
Dealing with the feelings and emotions deserted and trapped in her mind
Her heart full of madness and slowly taking over her mind
When she thinks to speak, She stops and remain silent
Silenced by the thought of him holding her down
With her body exposed
Now left trying to leave the was
To start with the right now
But is still left imposed
With looking for someone