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Limerick Women Poems | Limerick Poems About Women

These Limerick Women poems are examples of Limerick poems about Women. These are the best examples of Limerick Women poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Your Sweet Sexy Smell



An obsession with the ladies I'll surely admit And the sweet sexy smell these sweeties emit Love every one Totally come undone When you touch my parts, it flips my switch © Jack Ellison 2015

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2015

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How to give a guy a premarital suitability exam

Before the "I do" she must choose
A man that does well in dance shoes
His psyche gives a clue
When employing step two
Ply him to the limit with booze

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2013

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The poem in the mind-2

The poem in the mind

There is  only  enough space in my mind
For just a poem and there you I find
Can’t think of another thing
My mind singing what you sing
To all else except you I’m rather blind.

I know you are an involved mom of six
And what toll it takes bringing up those chicks
On your spirit and body
Your life was never gaudy
But the essence of such a  gracious mix.

Adorable are your traits which are rare
Attributes, six, are your  children so fair
They are love, care and beauty
Passion, power and frailty
Here’s  the perfect woman beyond compare.


@ 23 feb 13

S.Jagathsimhan Nair

Entry for PD's contest on 5 mar 13

Copyright © S.Jagathsimhan Nair | Year Posted 2013

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Limerick: Once a born blind man was promised full sight

Limerick: Once a born blind man was promised full sight

Once a born blind man was promised full sight
By an ophthalmologist fully tight
     Two slits and dabs all told
     Saw in wonderful world –
Beauty Contest: gouged his own eyes outright.

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2015

Copyright © T Wignesan | Year Posted 2015

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Never just a woman

A Woman  is never "just a woman"
Helps man turn a house into a home
With sexual desires
To keep your hopes afire
Always will be Queen of your throne.


Penned June 1 2015


Copyright © Seren Roberts | Year Posted 2015

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Dwindling Feminine Moods

Seeking redemption is seen as the reason for sweet adjectives
prone to behavioral constipation, refusing the laxatives
Sincere actions of love so pregnant
may also give images so poignant
emotions always cloud reasoning from seeing actual motives.

Copyright © Funom Makama | Year Posted 2016

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Misplaced Concern

I become quite vain when around pretty girls.
And a whole flock of them makes my head whirl.
Attempting sensitivity,
I asked one, "Do you have a disease?"
She said, "I was fine a moment ago, but NOW I wanna hurl!"



NOTE: This was based off a true story (though I exaggerated it slightly, for the sake of having it rhyme and fit with the limerick). I came into work one day and noticed one of my co-workers didn't look so hot. I was concerned and said, "Are you feeling alright today? Did you sleep well?". She just looked at me and said, "I'm quite fine, Timmy. I've actually had a full nine hours sleep... I just didn't take the time to put my make-up on this morning". Needless to say I never quite heard the end of it...

Copyright © Timothy Hicks | Year Posted 2013

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Dying to Meet Women

There once was a man on the beach
Hoping for women to meet
      To try to look thin
      He held his breath in
And passed out dead at their feet.

Copyright © Joe Flach | Year Posted 2010

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HIS and HERS - limericks

HIS  and  HERS - limericks


HERS

SWEET MOLLY SHE SET OUT THE BAIT
ORDERED A DRINK FOR THE WAIT
LIFTED HER SKIRT
FANNED SCENTED FLIRT
WHILE WATCHING THEIR EGOS INFLATE



HIS

Young Buster was full of himself
a bruiser devoid of all stealth
he measured his worth
by its length and its girth
had it bronzed and put on a shelf


John G. Lawless
7/17/2015

Copyright © John lawless | Year Posted 2015

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Limerick: Once a Woman-Cleanser in Malawi

Limerick: Once a Woman-Cleanser in Malawi

     for Seodi White

Once (a) Widow-Cleanser* in Malawi
Insisted (on) being paid double fee
The dead man made certain
Left gift (on) this side (of) curtain
Now Cleanser on (the) dole with H.I.V.

•	The “Widow-Cleanser” is a Malawian professional
“intermediate husband” of widows imposed on women
who cannot – under the laws of Malawi -  own anything
legally, EVEN their bodies. The Woman-Cleanser sleeps 
with widows for a fee ($50/-) in order to prevent widows
and future husbands – from being polluted by the dead
husband.
This limerick dramatises facts divulged in a CNN interview with 
valorous women-rights lawyer: Seodi WHITE on March 17, 2013.

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013

Copyright © T Wignesan | Year Posted 2013

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THEO-OLIGARCHIC HAPPENINGS IN SLOVENIA


URAN'S WILLY

Taking sides in discussions holily
About whether Uran used his willy
Means you're trapped in their game -
Either side is the same:
Cock distracts, cash departs, crowd stays silly.



Story:
http://www.sloveniatimes.com/scandals-in-the-slovenian-church-to-go-on


The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand interprets important Slovenian affairs for the non-Slovene speaking world. 


www.maria.si

Copyright © Julian Bohan | Year Posted 2013

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The Ginger Monster

Oh! but the jealous thing
She has eyes flaming green
How to quench what hell spurns
Where envy and mischief does burn
Revenge on her lips she's an Irish queen

Copyright © John Beam | Year Posted 2014

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It's a Myth, Women do like Spiders

The woman who dreamt of a spider
Awoke to find it inside her
With a scream and a yell
she thought, " oh! what the hell"
Eight hands, oh my! what a provider









http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-6.php

Copyright © James Fraser | Year Posted 2011

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apology to misguided feminists

Clinton on steroids—Fiornina 
She shreds truth like a hyena
Let's make the world right
No—she’d much rather fight 
As the killer in the arena

Can Hillary have the right stuff?
She couches words not a tight muff
If her clothes be stripped 
See the mummy from the crypt
Quite rough to see her in the buff

For billionaires—Super PACS pander
Their “MO” is to ooze slander
So join with Bernie
Sanders' great journey
Since he's Mr. ethics and candor 


Author's Note: There are two women running for the 2016 White House.  I only wish that there was a more qualified woman running for whom I could vote--like Elizabeth Warren.  This past Friday I went into Manhattan and saw Bernie Sanders speak.  Recently, he spoke at Liberty University, and the event is searchable. BTW, I see Hillary and Carly as sisters in deceit.  There is something very wrong with the body language, speech and ideas of each.  They both are owned by big money.  My apologies to the hard core supporters of these two beastly hypocrites.

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2015

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OCD II

Most compulsives have never confessed
There are thoughts with which we're obsessed
Our inner vision
Views with great precision
The women our eyes have undressed

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2015

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If You Don't Want to Sit This One Out

If You Don’t Want to Sit This One Out

It’s more than a domestic conflict cliché
It’s a fact that a female can’t stand the way
That the tall standing males
Each time simply fails
And the floor and the seat gets the spray

But you can’t blame it all on the male
Science has proved that a trail
Of liquid much more than mere inches
No matter how much someone pinches
Will bounce until it simply sails

So men – here I must be precise
If you don’t want to sit, than be nice
Take a step to the right
Aim it downward just slight
Pay heed to your uncle’s advice

For the angle of impact’s the key
As to just where the entry should be
Hit the side of the bowl
Down that side it will role
And how happy your woman will be

Uncle Mike


Copyright © mike dailey | Year Posted 2013

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Limerick: A hundred years ago, nay, fifty

Limerick: A hundred years ago, nay, fifty

A hundred years ago, nay, fifty
Who dared prod the female anatomy
Now men ride rough shod
On toll-free wide road
Ere steam-roller dries tar in a jiffy!

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2015

Copyright © T Wignesan | Year Posted 2015

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A Devizes Quimmerick

I know men, young and old, from Devizes
Who are wolves in surprising disguises
Sometimes girls are as bad
But it’s often the lad
Who, for whoring, has shelves full of prizes

Pretty Trowbridge girls, all in a row
There will always be one that’s a ho
And some may like a lay
But not all of them, hey
Just maybe the ones that you know

So, fine upstanding men from Devizes
Rendered ‘helpless’ by fit pairs of thighses
Be more cautious when drunk
More in charge of your s***k
Less “Not me, it was her, with her eyeses”

by Gail

Copyright © Gail Foster | Year Posted 2015

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Our Lost Women

The oldest trade in historical times
In many places it still is a crime
     Defrocked from their gowns
     Some even took it lying down 
It's the sad ladder of life some climb






http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/life-11.php

Copyright © James Fraser | Year Posted 2010

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Duel

I think the truth is always right.
Duel, measuredly I do count my steps.

Tired eyes, yes, the night was sleepless.
I hope the God will not leave me in the wrong.

My opponent, accepted the challenge, did not blink.
Bustling I always respect the bravest.

Yesterday's evening among the tipsy revellers,
May come up today with fresh blood pouring out.

Helen,please forgive me, later you will understand,
The hot breath only the bullet can cool up.

The day begins, my time has come...
But the coming up evening, I hope, will be starry ....

Copyright © Serge Belinsky | Year Posted 2015

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THE SECRET OF WOMEN

Upon arriving at her home,
Tell her she is beautiful like rome.
This will get her to smile
And be worth while.
So through the night, you can roam.

Copyright © Tasha Taylor | Year Posted 2015

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Limerick: The chief cause of all personal problems

Limerick: The chief cause of all personal problems

The chief cause of all personal problems
Some* women need daily orgasms
Build them hot dream box
Which jerks farts and rocks
Made to fit all sizes ‘n’ perversions.

•	I hesitate/vacillate between “some” and “most”.
Would some kind soul enlighten me!

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2015

Copyright © T Wignesan | Year Posted 2015

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Sweaty And Warm



Do I seem obsessed with the female form Does it seem like it's much more than the norm One of life's joys Since I was a boy It still makes me feel all sweaty and warm

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2016

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Poems About Les Femmes



POEMS ABOUT FEMMES Digging down deep for some poetic gems So far I've found only poems about les femmes The kind that prance Wearing no pants Just love 'em all, I sure mean no offence

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2016

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Coffee Like His Women

Coffee Like His Women

Coffee like women Trump likes sweet
Each purpose he has will self-defeat
Bound for failure and never succeed
And definitely born a restless breed
Wherever he will go is Dutch treat.

Jim Horn

Copyright © James Horn | Year Posted 2016