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Limerick Woman Poems | Limerick Poems About Woman

These Limerick Woman poems are examples of Limerick poems about Woman. These are the best examples of Limerick Woman poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Cross-Eyed Woman -Limerick-

Cross eyed woman had a nasty fall after running into a brick wall she was hit over the head with a big loaf of bread while trying to play basketball. Copyright Cynthia Jones Sept.23/2004


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The Chocolate

The Chocolate!

She is a deliciously smart gal,
For each and everyone's her pal.
Be it in the brownie or cake,
Or the icy cold milk shake.
She sure can change everyone's morale!


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Limerick: Once a Tennis Woman named Sue Baule

Limerick : Once a Tennis Woman named Sue Baule

Once a Tennis Woman named Sue Baule
Tried to avoid being called : « Screw Ball ! »
So she got her haïr cut
In the shape of a snout
Since at French Open gets dubbed : « Screwed Doll ! »  

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013


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Phantom of the Golfers

The green was bespeckled with putters
Till 'long came a singer, Miss Sutters
She started to sing
The golfers did swing
And now, poor Miss Sutters, she stutters




Entered in contest "Old or New in Five or Less." Placing: first. 
Catagory: Humorous, Old Poem


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She Wast As Inscrutable As The Sphinx

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

   (She with face inscrutable as the Sphinx.)

      Although she was nay forthright,

         Shakespeare wast somewhat polite,

            But saw through her nefarious high jinks!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved


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Woman-Owned Business Maker

Self-employed and partner in life
He "hired" some other guy's wife
Making golfing balls
Now he has two holes
My new business ?...Surgical Knives...

for Carolyn Devonshire's "Horrible Bosses"


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There was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe


The old woman in the shoe scandal 
who had those kids, too much to handle.  
Now that they are full grown
and she is home alone, 
she'll down-size to a sandal.


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Silly Woman

There was a silly woman from Detroit Who at everything was adroit She couldn't ev'n boil an egg She just kept them in a keg And then she threw them like a quoit. Dorian Petersen Potter aka ladydp2000 copyright@2014 10.21.2014


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YOU SWEET THANG YOU


YOU SWEET THANG YOU

I know a young lady so sweet
She swept me off my feet
Just one look was all it took
And wouldn't you know she's a really good cook
So now I have plenty to eat


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Limerick croises: Once our 'Rita jumped into Sea Anne-Anne - 14

Limerick croises : Once our ‘Rita jumped into Sea Anne-Anne – 14

Once our ‘Rita jumped into Sea Anne-Anne
Sirens howled « panic stations » refrain
One Valhalla Rani
Offered her much money
For a shot sans mantilla – in vain

Our ‘Rita – you bet – a stunning beauty
Not given to falling for flattery
Was all of prime six feet
Which she tucked under meat
For Sevillan beds stood (on) two feet plus three ! 

So they put her up that night till Morgan 
Classified her as subterfuge weapon
NSA roped her in
To put one o’er Putin
Now Chinese wish her to test rat poison !

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013


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hey cutie

Your sheer arrogance makes me giggle
Your butt does the cutest wiggle
I really hope you like me
I want to call you baby
Or maybe my little piggle.

:)


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There once was a woman from Japan




There once was a woman from Japan
She went by the name of Faye-Lynn
A ninja with beauty
To kill was her duty
Her weapon was seduction of man





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Limerick: Once an-Other Anchor-Woman at Sea Anne-Anne

Limerick: Once an-Other Anchor-Woman at Sea Anne-Anne

Once an’ Anchor-Woman at Sea Anne-Anne
Slipped tongue into a Black Hole’s butt end
She came out Parallel
In multi-Verse pell-mell
Now she reads sweN at aeS (Ace) ennA-N*.

•	For the general knowledge of readers of this limerick, humble clarifications are offered here. The capital letters: A, H, I, M, N, O, T, U, V, W, X, and Y are used without any visible change in the alphabet of our own Parallel Universe where – as everybody knows – Time regresses from Future to Past, i.e., e.g. say, from being “well-satiated” to being “hungry” and back forth. Here, even though “N” is written as “N”, the pronunciation is unwaveringly: “nE”. For more detailed explanations regarding the rules of prosody in our Parallel Uni-Verse, s’il vous plait, address your queries to Yours Truly at his address in Multi-Verse.
                                                 Merci Beaucoup!

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013


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CLOTHES MAKE THE WOMAN

There was a young lady named Dela,
Who always dressed well for her feller.
What did Delaware?
I really don't care,
But I think she should have dressed weller.


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Limerick: Once Anchor-Woman at Sea Anne-Anne

Limerick : Once Anchor-Woman at Sea Anne-Anne

Once Anchor-Woman at Sea Anne-Anne
Called Main-Chain-In-Vain-Gain-Mane-Rain-Van
Pulled anchor, lost finger
Put in place cucumber
Now sucks lost finger to spew news ban.


©  T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013


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Limerick: Once a Woman-Cleanser in Malawi

Limerick: Once a Woman-Cleanser in Malawi

     for Seodi White

Once (a) Widow-Cleanser* in Malawi
Insisted (on) being paid double fee
The dead man made certain
Left gift (on) this side (of) curtain
Now Cleanser on (the) dole with H.I.V.

•	The “Widow-Cleanser” is a Malawian professional
“intermediate husband” of widows imposed on women
who cannot – under the laws of Malawi -  own anything
legally, EVEN their bodies. The Woman-Cleanser sleeps 
with widows for a fee ($50/-) in order to prevent widows
and future husbands – from being polluted by the dead
husband.
This limerick dramatises facts divulged in a CNN interview with 
valorous women-rights lawyer: Seodi WHITE on March 17, 2013.

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013


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The House Of Ene

There was a woman named Ene,
Mr. Ferguson she did follow,
She lost all her house,
Much space she's without,
Let's feel for Mrs. Ene Ferguson!

Now this lady named Ene,
Mr. Ferguson she did dream,
Her house hard to clean,
Yelling a maid she not be!
Let's feel for Mrs. Ene Ferguson.

So our woman named Ene,
Ole Mr. Ferguson, a hoarder he be!
Her house is a mess,
To fight she confessed and lost I digress,
Let's all feel sorry for Mrs. Ene Ferguson!

Razorblade © 2012


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A Woman Named Flo

(Limerick)


There once was a woman named  Flo 
Who did it by the way that you know 
She had a long nose 
And alligators in tow 
Who ate her nose and each of her toes! 


Dorian Petersen Potter 
aka ladydp2000 
copyright@2014 


September,07,2014 


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Limerick: Once an Anchor Woman at Sea Anne-Anne

Limerick: Once an Anchor Woman at Sea Anne-Anne

Once an Anchor Woman at Sea Anne-Anne
Interviewed OFPRA* doing Can-Can
She said: Will you?
OF said: You, too!
And they rowed off in a rude bed-pan.

•	Office français pour la Protection des réfugiés
 et d’apatrides (French Office for the Protection 
of Refugees and Stateless Persons)

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013


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Woman Woodcarver-Bawdy Limmerick



There was a woman who would whittle.
She played with wood til it was brittle.
Each piece was unique,
Making boys all think,
That their happy sticks were not little.



06-18-2014
For Contest Bawdy limmericks 2


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Long Live the Queen

Though her reign has had rarely a flaw, England’s queen once or twice dropped her jaw. She’s enjoyed a long life As both mother and wife. Not so much as a mother-in-law! For the Long Live the Queen Contest of Judy Konos


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Esther

I'd heard of this woman called Esther,
Who much prefered London to Leiceter,
Coz you could stay up all night
And still have the right
To behave the next day like a jester

So I met that woman called Esther,
That the world and his missus did pester,
"I do what I can"
She'd say to the clan,
"If you don't like it then find it in Leicester."


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The Perfect Woman

I dated a girl, Miss Capes
She had a body like a bunch of grapes
With lumps and bumps
Her back had three humps
And a face as beautiful as an apes’


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World's Most Beautiful Woman



There are so many gorgeous women in the world How can we choose ONE, that puts us ALL in a whirl Walk down the street Many beauties we meet Wind up with agastopia, my toes they do curl © Jack Ellison 2015
“agastopia” - admiration of a part of someone's body


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Limerick: Then this Wily Woman from Franco's Spain - 6

Limerick : Once this Wily Woman from Franco’s Spain – 6

This Wily Woman went on the rampage
New Year’s Day Seventy-Six* start of new age :
Marriage beds soiled with verve
This woman first to serve
Free-Maisons’ Afro-Asians free of charge !

•	Adultery was a criminal offence punishable under the French Penal Code before January 1, 1976

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013


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the Cancer Woman

 Emotions guided by the moon.

A loyal mate to make you swoon.

Family is primary

Even if its contrary.

Harmony and heart are in tune.







for Zodiac contest: Cancer Woman
Francine Roberts


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One Pisces Woman

One Pisces Woman

Compassionate and imaginative,
A fun, fickle, Pisces prerogative,
One day saving the world.
The next lives a dream world.
But, reality is indecisive.

© August 8, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen


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Limerick: Then this Wily Woman from Franco's Spain - 3

Limerick : Then this Wily Woman from Franco’s Spain – 3

Then this Wily Woman from Franco’s Spain
Got the old suction pump jerking again
She pumped herself so hard
They said she set record
Till sewers now run through her to the Seine.

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013


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Limerick: So this Wily Woman from Franco's Spain - 7

Limerick : So this Wily Woman from Franco’s Spain – 7

On Jan. 16 : declares lost her paper(s)
On Jan. 17 : Consulate declares her spinster
Next day abandons son
Sets up shop : Free Maison*
Named worthy Napoleons’ Sexual Advisor !

•	Maison : French for house or even firm.

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013


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Limerick: Once this Wily Woman from Franco's Spain - 2

Limerick : Once this Wily Woman from Franco’s Spain – 2

Once this Wily Woman from Franco’s Spain
Found refuge in Napoleonic Domain
Antics at home found out
In new home given clout
All criminal codes waived to let her reign !

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013