The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend
I have a theory to test
I always thought scissors was best
When I throw scissors down
A rock comes around
I should have done paper I guess
Next time it is paper I throw
And just like that don’t you know
His scissors appears
And my paper it shears
A rock would have won it and so
The next time it’s rock in my hand
I’ll win it this time – I’m the man
Then his paper comes out
Wraps my rock without doubt
This game I just don’t understand
But you know the next time we meet
He’ll be the one that is beat
I just have to think through it
Don’t know how I’ll do it
But somehow I’ll learn how to cheat
2nd place finish in contest
With scissors, some paper and rock,
He tried hard to make a new clock.
But his efforts all failed,
And, frustrated, he wailed,
‘It ticks but I can’t make it tock.’
There once were two people online
Through e-mail their lives intertwined
They swore in each letter
That they'd get together
Neither one knowing what they would find
So one day when both had the chance
To see under what circumstance
They would think of each other
Be it friend, be it lover
Either way it'd be one heck of a dance
So the one went to the other's town
To see which emotion is found
But they must grow a bond
Before taking love on
Even buildings are built from the ground
The first day they soaked up some sun
Followed by dinner and fun
There was no stopping
Their bar-to-bar hopping
both drunk by the time they were done
They ended up at his hotel
"One more drink", she had said, "that sounds swell".
But the kissing, caressing
Led to them undressing
Ignoring their White Zinfindel
They woke the next morning perplexed
The ache in their heads had them vexed
They both had enjoyed
What they tried to avoid
Neither knowing what they should do next
So neither one spoke of last night
And both were nervous and uptight
But it would be a shame
to be pointing the blame
at what at the time seemed so right
But knowing it couldn't be ignored
They talked and their feelings were poured
They both felt confused
And a little bit used
But it was something they both could afford
When the trip came to an end
They enjoyed the time they did spend
With a kiss and a sigh
they both said goodbye
And to this day remain closest friends
You’ll find us tied up with regret
We elephants never forget
This isn’t myth bunk
Thoughts can’t stay in a trunk
But play with the brain’s tape cassette
Out apon the sea.
Its hard to catch some relife.
Or find some time to set willy free.
It's a priates life no need to back your
Just grab a pint.
When in port avoid the sea hags.
Swab the decks and please if
ya gotta puke lean over the side.
Be a good little sea bandit
or you'll be learning were Davey Jones does
We got fish for breakfest supper and lunch.
Can somone please help the captain.
ya know with a hook for a hand its easy to
get your pants in a bunch.
I gotta walk the plank again ?
Hey it's really rude sticking me with that knife.
It sure would be nice if we put this ship in the water.
Do more than drinking and dreaming of the pirates life.
I really dont trust a captian with a poodle.
It really gets old being harrased.
And cleaning up fee fee's doodle
Dont let Larry steer.
After the tenth time it gets old.
running a ground to go fetch a beer.
No sir I dont belive we'll run into the loch ness monster
off the jersey shore.
No I dont belive the worlds flat.
And I dont care if the five year old first mate swore.
The crows nesk is a perfect place to hide from your
Were heading the wrong way check the gps.
Yes I really cant take this pirates life.
Yes captian I really doubt A mermaid stole
all the rum.
What's the catch of the day?
Sea monster sure I'll have some.
The captian is crabby and it's time for the
first mates nap.
The cook isnt crying cause he's choppin onions
Its cause he finished the briges of Madison County
yes he's a bit of a sap.
It's probaly not best to duel with a butter knife.
As we set sail yes mam we''ll have the first mate
back befor sundown.
It's kinda messed up living this modern pirates life.
There once was a farmer named Brock
Who was proud of his timely cock.
‘Cept it rose too early
Surprising his Shirley
On the day we turned back the clock.
My first sweetheart soul was extremely sweet
The sweet fact, she was sweet enough to eat
An agape valentine (a·ga·pe [aa g? pay] 3 syllables)
My beautiful Clementine
My fault, marriage not given time to seat!
My next sweetheart from the very first start
Almost evident that we would soon part
Creature from black lagoon
Must get rid of her soon
This sweet’s nagging, truly her state of art!
Most valentines are sweet enough to eat
Giving a marriage time enough to seat
You wish you had of eaten
It would save from repeat-en
Romance is treat, alas she warms you feet!
For contest: Valentine Day Limerick
For and in honor of Francine Roberts
And so a New Year has begun,
And old resolutions are done,
But whatever you do,
When making them new,
Remember to make them all fun!
Should I lurk or should I lure?
I really don't know for sure.
But at any rate I shan't be late,
For I do not wish to hesitate
To appear at your front door!
I will walk,
And not stalk
Along the way
Will not stray...
(Jump that chalk!)
For your face doth wait
On our very first date.
I surely would hate
To show up late
And miss my fate!
Now it's time to go,
Wouldn't you know?
I had a good time
And like this rhyme
I did love it so!
But we need to kiss
And then must miss
Each other's face
Away from this place.
(I'll remember this!)
Yes, you can now bet
I'll never forget
How I so love you,
And you love me, too!
(And also how we met.)
She devoted her time to poetry and blogs
Addressing his many nonexistent flaws
As if his was the family, being neglected
While she refused to address his rejection
And became something too sad to even mock
You see, Dawn had succumbed to her invective
Unmedicated and overprotective
But of all the wrong things -
The lies about herself she struggled to maintain
And an impossible dream objective
And so, Dawn rots away
Her own twisted mind's slave
Spending time on a man who will never love her
Of whose affections, she is quite sure
While the ones who do care about her are estranged
She thinks only of herself
And ignores her child's wails
Mocks her husband's needs
She is the epitome of greed
And of failing mental health
Her words against him are an inner reflection
Of the emptiness that has become her own life's direction
She gets more repulsive as she pines away
And her husband is tempted to stray
But she thinks he is a fool to her deception
And most of us caught in her narrative live on
While she babbles like a moron
Taking her hate and lies wherever she can
To try and further convict an innocent man
Oh, what a sad old witch, that Dawn!
Why is it you never show me your face?
My feelings are hurt, so you I’ll replace!
Find another on which to pounce
Each time your team takes a bad bounce
The damage you’ve done cannot be erased
Even my fine leather is marred with grooves
From all your fanatic football fan moves
Get off your duff, I must rebuff
You’ve made my lining far too rough
Each time you move, I hope the team will lose
I have already called a moving van
To transport me to a gentler land
Where people of grace sip green tea
Pontificating times that be
By dawn in my place you’ll find the trash can
There was once a Scotsman called Jock
Who was always stroking his cock
But when the clock struck ten
He then turned to his hen
The egg basket is now restocked
As I sit here and wonder where did it all go,
Why did I hurry to get here is something I do not know.
My life has pased by so quickly just a blink of the eye,
Can't remember all the things I've done or the reasons why.
What was the purpose of this it all seems so insane,
I'm left with nothing but emptiness am I to be the blame .
Where are my friends and family am I the only one left,
I guess because of what I've done this is what I get.
This isn't what I was looking for not what I imagined at all,
There is nothing I can say or do and theirs nobody I can call.
Will it ever become clear to me why don't I understand ,
Is this that wonderful plan was that God has made for man?
The path I chose to follow always seemed to take so long,
I'm begining to believe that just maybe that I was wrong.
Thinking about all the things in my life that have come to past,
Down deep I have always known that they were never meant to last.
So this is what it is like to reach this old age of mine ,
I'm starting to see that it was never really about time.
Waiting seems to be all there is for me to do these days ,
Untill the time that light shines bright showing me my way.
Feeling much better now that I have come to see,
That there was a plan and it was made especially for me.
It’s Iron Bowl Time in Alabama
By Elton Camp
Watching football may be okay
Even following it, play-by-play
However, I say, “Ho, hum”
Don’t care about the outcome
For I will use my time another way
(For readers outside Alabama, this refers to the extreme fanaticism so often seen here about the football teams of the University of Alabama and Auburn University. People who have attended neither school get all upset over it and tend to build their lives around the fortunes of the two teams. I think that’s going way too far about a dangerous child’s game.)
My mirror continues to annoy me
Its contorting the face that I see
I cant be that old
But the truth be told
My birthday and the image agree
lets Rigor mortis stiffly sleep
under the acts, of cold blooded murder
and watch the cool driven cradle's of death
stab and bleed out
open and wounded
sheltered from none
there in its, pool of darken, drying blood
so now, murder me this, and murder me that
how is it, that my enemies find me
in any place, and any time
could it be placed upon on my person
or inside of me
that you find me so completely
so is it legal or is it a crime
i 'm sure in time
we will all have one up our ask...
Time does our earth presence sever
But the post office is clever
And offers for sale
For its eternal mail
A stamp that is good forever
Author's note: The idea that anything associated with this planet will be consumed "forever" is peculiar and laughable. It is also destructive in that business holds the truth in shadows.
Hey, today's just today, you say!
Well, then, what about yesterday?
Wasn't today tomorrow yesterday?
And when tomorrow is today
Is today not yesterday, eh?
Yes, t'is not yesterday, today or tomorrow
For any way you say you must borrow...
To solve that old riddle you need to know
That you can avoid that serious sorrow
By admitting that each day is NOW, no?
.......And Now For The Next Half A Century!
Over 50? Bring it on!
Feeling so empowered
Learning now that life's for grabs
So much to be devoured!
Over 50? Piece of cake
Sitting on my laurels
Fed them, read them, washed them, wed them
Taught them all their morals
Over 50? Feeling great!
Welcoming that wrinkle
Gravity - go do your thing
My eyes will always twinkle
Over 50? Never wiser!
Learning to say no
Earned my moods lost some feuds
Now basking in the glow
Over 50? Liking me
Dressing as I please
Goodbye fads, hello plaids
I ve no one to appease
Over 50? No regrets
Think it s pretty nifty
Guess I ll stick around a bit
To check out things at sixty!
So many days have gone by
I wish I had wings to fly
I would of never done wrong
If I knew I would be here for so long
My life is within these four walls
Oh how my life has taken such a fall
It still shocks me to think I'm still here
I still have to wipe away my tears
One by one I count the long days
Higher it gets the days I've been away
I never seem to know
The day I will get to go
So I created a world of my own
With so many people I've never known
So many come and go
Its sad to see them go
Some say they'll keep in touch
But it doesn't mean that much
Cause many who leave this place
Run far from here like its a race
When they're finally out they start to forget
The ones in green so many of them they met
No matter how many friends in here you make
Whether they are true to you or fake
Always keep in mind
This one little line
You come alone
You leave alone
daddy youare sick now and my heart is breaking allthe way around!you have aways loved me and gave me what i need!my love for you will never die and we will meet in the heavenly sky!as days pass i wish time would last so i could spend more time with you ilove you true!im your only son and imss the times when we wher so close i love my daddy my friend you se from now and in eternity!
The wife plans a spree to buy all
With husband on board at the mall
But as this takes place
He just looks for a space
To sit on a bench in the hall
There once was a car that never did start
it sputtered and spit and even did fart
I love that car dear
to lose it I fear
I shall never forsake that quaint Dodge Dart
Each memory of joy of days long ago
still fill my heart in times I feel low
you are my sweet ride
for we stand side by side
although our time spent is a time in-tow
The days seem so much closer together now , It is hard to keep up. Months click by me like weeks . Is this my time running out.
I seem to lose things more often then I remember annd sometimes I need help . Am I going to forget it all before my time runs out.
So many more soreness it seems and I am sleeping alot . Will I sleep my days away?
My dreams are confusing to me , I sometimes am not sure what is dream and what is real . It wont matter cause my time has run out.
It's a wonderful thing this life we have , But it is much better when your time runs out. That' what this life's about. Flow with time and dont worry about time running out .
I'm going to break that pointer finger
how long is this crap going to linger
the lies, the death, the demise
no hope for a plan revised
we'll just throw your ass in the ringer
Time's tempo like torture is slow
Just part of a youth's ebb and flow
But later the pace
Of each year starts to race
As the old among us must know
What’s life’s punishment most severe
That oft fills these old eyes with tear?
While fathers wonder
At rest six feet under
Their children’s future is not clear
As you take the time to read
You cultivate the knowledge seed
But take you the time to care
And please do be aware
On what your mind doth feed
When I look around... I See that It's abound
Whatever it Is... It wants Peace
Peace of mind... An everlastingly Bind
No racketeering... It isn't Blind
It Sees More than what you see.