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Husband Limerick Poems | Limerick Poems About Husband

These Husband Limerick poems are examples of Limerick poems about Husband. These are the best examples of Husband Limerick poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Limerick |

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!


Details | Limerick |

-Divorce Club-

~~ Divorce  Club~~


Haiku   * divorce trip *
---------
broken promises
eclipse of the sun and moon
dreams that fall like leafs.

Limerick  * never settle*
------------
Like a  gun to my head of course
I married the end of a horse
love was never real,
kids no big deal.
Wow! I gain more money after divorce!

Couplet   * forever vows *
------------
I meant them words "for better or worse" during our holy matrimony
The better now has hit me, once  the Court ordered alimony:-)
 
by;p.d.

**OKAY I'M NOT GOOD AT EXAMPLES**
      


Details | Limerick |

An Unappreciated Housewife

He walks into the room each day at six
As around their Dad all five children mix
     He smiles at them with glee
     Meantime he sneers at me
So I get prepared to take all his licks

“What have you been doing all day?” he asks
No appreciation for all my tasks
     “Washed clothes and changed diapers
     Don’t need any gripers”
This insensitive father wears two masks

Each morning his breakfast is served on time
Later, vodka collins are served with lime
     He never shops for food
     Says my cooking’s no good
And when he bathes, the tub is filled with grime

My Mom said, “Men just work from sun to sun,
But a woman’s housework is never done” 
     I found a new game plan
     A hearty, handsome man
Together, my husband we could outrun




May 25, 2012
*Entry for David’s 3 H contest


Details | Limerick |

Cheaper To Keep Her (Divorce Club)

(Haiku)- * Motive, infidelity messing with the Queen Bee's Honey*

Queen Bee sits on throne,
Bumble and drone bees as one
Sample flowers dew

------------------------

(Limerick) - *Admission of guilt leads to compensation*

Indeed this is how the story unfolds,
Pete said, "It's a poor rat with only one hole"...
Love had taught a sad lesson;
Divorce court was now in session,
Judge rules favor, Pete's pockets full of holes...

----------------------------

(Couplet) - *Take vows seriously payback often belongs to Spouse - Queen Bee*

Love said, "Pete too late you've opened your peepers"....
"Man, you should know it was cheaper to please her"!






Submitted for P.D.'s Divorce Club Contest (Haiku-Limerick-Couplet)


Details | Limerick |

Ten Little Indians

You perfected your lies to an art.
You succeeded in breaking my heart.
I shed not one tear,
for the hour is near,
when arsenic will keep us apart.


Details | Limerick |

Woman-Owned Business Maker

Self-employed and partner in life
He "hired" some other guy's wife
Making golfing balls
Now he has two holes
My new business ?...Surgical Knives...

for Carolyn Devonshire's "Horrible Bosses"


Details | Limerick |

My Ex For Sale

Come one come all my ex for sale
His underwear being sold in bale
                 Naked on the block
                 Glad he is defrock 
His chest shows fear at the exsale


Details | Limerick |

She really did get this call

I wish I could be a fly on the wall,
  
When my poor old mother gets the phone call,

        “He’s here at the bar
  
        Quick bring us your car,

Your husband just got in a brawl”


Details | Limerick |

The Awwwsome Driving Lesson

The neighbors were running in fear
As into front room car did steer
What fate had approved
His words soon removed
Your parking’s improving my dear


Details | Limerick |

A Happily Ever After Marriage

There once was a poet extraordinaire,
Who composed sweet poetry with great care. 
She wanted to find true love.
So, she prayed to God above.
He swiftly answered, “Sweetheart, you must forbear.”

Forbearance was her lonely heart’s nightmare.
She was a passionate woman with flare.
Singing in a high octave.
Counting petals of foxglove.
She drank martinis alone in her lair.

A brilliant mind with hope and a prayer,
Resting her head on a lonely armchair.
Praising spirits up above,
She heard Ron’s voice, cute white dove.
Alas, she found him…marriage…love so fair.

(Linda-Marie, I used your profile picture for inspiration for this contest entry.)

© March 31, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen


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