There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'
but when it got little
his pills became skittles
until he O.D.'d on Viagra
© ~JSLambert 2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!
I have a theory to test
I always thought scissors was best
When I throw scissors down
A rock comes around
I should have done paper I guess
Next time it is paper I throw
And just like that don’t you know
His scissors appears
And my paper it shears
A rock would have won it and so
The next time it’s rock in my hand
I’ll win it this time – I’m the man
Then his paper comes out
Wraps my rock without doubt
This game I just don’t understand
But you know the next time we meet
He’ll be the one that is beat
I just have to think through it
Don’t know how I’ll do it
But somehow I’ll learn how to cheat
2nd place finish in contest
Everyone thinks since i smile
that everything is good
no one knows its been a while
since i last had good food.
I live in a good neighborhood
My neighbors, all quite wealthy
just snacking when i could
and trying to stay healthy
everytime you go to school
your stomach starts to rumble
always looking like a fool
when you trip and stumble.
i know what its like to feel sick
the fuzz that passes through your brain
people acting like a prick
not knowing your in pain.
i go to school like normal
i tell no one of my issues
no need to make it formal
i just grab a few more tissues.
you may not even notice me
im just your everyday dumb teen
you cant see what i see
or know where i have been.
i go to school each day
and go to work each night
working for my pay
so i can grab another bite.
we go to homeless dinners
and i feel my heart clench tight
not feeling like the winner
should i really have to fight?
so now i lay my head
and dream of a full tummy
and as i lay in bed
i dream of yummy yummies.
First he slinks off the field with a miss,
so forlorn, then the chance to do this.
Will we boo him to shame?
Will we drink to his name?
The ball is down. The kick is up! The kick is...
There once was a wonderful star
Who thought she would go very far
Until she fell down
And looked like a clown
She knew she would never go far
She would land near the moon
Enlightenment, Harmony, Hope
will give to the wordsmith great scope.
Competitions are hard
for a poor simple bard.
So will I win this one? Er nope!
For Russell's E H H Competition.
There once was a poet extraordinaire,
Who composed sweet poetry with great care.
She wanted to find true love.
So, she prayed to God above.
He swiftly answered, “Sweetheart, you must forbear.”
Forbearance was her lonely heart’s nightmare.
She was a passionate woman with flare.
Singing in a high octave.
Counting petals of foxglove.
She drank martinis alone in her lair.
A brilliant mind with hope and a prayer,
Resting her head on a lonely armchair.
Praising spirits up above,
She heard Ron’s voice, cute white dove.
Alas, she found him…marriage…love so fair.
(Linda-Marie, I used your profile picture for inspiration for this contest entry.)
© March 31, 2011
Pen flies out of when sight,
Boy, I hope I'm right.
No award for me,
What a shame that'd be,
At least I gave it all my might.
I'm absent of love this Valentines day
the clouds above have all turned to gray
I guess I"ll dine alone
for you won't answer the phone
I promise this year I will pay
light a candle.
let it glow with hope.
let its thin film of smoke
disperse the dark clouds.
let it drizzle and frizzle out your stress,
let it wash off the stench of sweat.
let your pregnant hope
deliver twins and triplets;
multiple tales of success.