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Limerick Holiday Poems | Limerick Poems About Holiday

These Limerick Holiday poems are examples of Limerick poems about Holiday. These are the best examples of Limerick Holiday poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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A Thankful Turkey

Written by Gail DeBole

When a turkey, who yearly escapes
From his owner's Thanksgiving plate,
Was asked to reveal
Why he's never a meal
He said, "That much of a turkey I ain't!"



Note: Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of each November in the United States.  President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed this as an official holiday in 1863.


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December 21, 2012

The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend


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Momerick

There once was a lady named "Mom"
Who had a hard time keeping calm.
But she knows how to sew
And garden and mow
And she's a farmer on facebook.com

She's a grandma to Mel and Harmony
She's a young wife for "Gramps" who's 70! 
She calms the waters
Of her four lovely daughters
And best of all she puts up with me.


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My Old Bucket

I lost my old bucket so sadly,
And felt oh so terribly badly;
Then lo and behold
A pot full of gold!
I'd lose me another and gladly.


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Saddle Up Them Deer!

Santa Claus has been unemployed all year

On the dole watching TV drinking beer

Ms. Claus was going berserk

Its Christmas time you fat jerk

Get off your duff and saddle up them deer

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 1 in Francine Roberts "Christmas" Contest - December 2010


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Plastic Holiday

Christmas trees made of flimsy plastic
No thanks, Santa, I'm not that drastic
  Predecorated trees? No!
  Don't want a Christmas "to go"
This tinsel nightmare is fantastic

Salvation Army man rings his bell
Hoping apathy he will dispel
  The reason for this season
  To forget seems like treason
As we watch store owners pockets swell

The three wise men had it right you see
Worshipped a babe, not a tinsel tree
  Omit the nativity
  And create a travesty
Commercialized Christmas:  Not for me



Entry for the Commercialized Holiday Humor contest


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Dear Mrs Clause

The reason for this post Christmas fax
Knowing Santa needs most to relax
After eating my fudge
He thought I had a grudge
To sneak him four ounces of ex lax

But was all a very sad mistake
Later to him regrets I will make
Rich food so delicious
Can be most pernicious
It was there for my relief to take.

©  25 Dec 2010  Charles Henderson


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A St Paddy's Day Limerick

I once drank some beer that was green
The weirdest that I’d ever seen
They said, “It’s that way
For St. Patricks day"
I then peed with green in my stream


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A White Pumpkin Family Review

Cotton Candy is a pumpkin who
Is known as White Pepo too.
Her nice rounded shell
She keeps very well,
And one day she met Baby Boo.

Baby Boo is quite small, and at night
He might glow, an albino pure white.
He is both good looking
And good at cooking!
He and white Pepo make a rare sight.

Cotton Candy (White Pepo) and he
Got together, and baby made three.
With skin color cream,
The baby’s a dream
And he’s part of the Ghost family.

Like his Mom, maybe better, is he.
Ghost can keep for a long time and be
Just like his Dad too.
Like that small Baby Boo,
In the oven he can bake sweetly.

Another White pumpkin, meanwhile,
In Carol’s patch sat on a pile.
Smooth, round and pure white,
An adorable sight,
Is this pumpkin with decorative style.

Other pumpkins can read this and weep
For Halloween has a new peep!
For MINE, cute and small,
Has the name of Snowball
And clear up to Christmas can keep!

For Carol Brown's 
"What No Orange Pumpkin" Poetry Contest


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No Candy Needed

To save some money on Halloween
I use a technique and must come clean
     Wear a scary disguise
     Children emit loud cries
I laugh as they run away and scream

This is a true tale, I must confess
And it’s surely worked with much success
     Electrifying hair
     Come hither if you dare
The local kids think that I’m possessed!



*Written in honor of John Freeman and his "Boisterous Comedy" contest


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Black Friday

<                     ladies ~ gentlemen ~ start those ...... engines
                         miss  ~ Ho ~ down - prices .... would be a sin
                                        best buy - circuit city
                                   black ~ friday .... how pitty
                        5 am ~ now ~ who ~ wears ~ smiling ... grins 





                          k- mart ~ wal - mart ~ target ~ pennys
                              red tag sales of many and plenty
                                 but you must buy in bulks
                        and ~  get ~ guy ~ like ~ the ... hulk
                to ~ push ~ cart ~ while ~ you ~ chat ~ with ... jenny




                         let's ~ all ~  hop ~ on ~ over ~ to ~ I - hop
                         your one stop for christmas breakfast slop
                                sure pancakes sounds yummy
                                     but wait till hits tummy 
                                 be sitting on stool till it plops




Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Commericialized Holiday Humor Contest
Gl All And Happy Holidays
Love Kathy & Jenny


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Hotel Hellifornia

I went on vacation to Hell,
The hotel was hot, with a smell,
And The Devil was rude,
When I toyed with my food:
He cooked all the dinners as well.

For Carolyn’s Vacation contest


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HALLOWEEN CONQUEST


When I saw them coming I knew what to do

Straightened out the white sheets and pulled my mask down, too.

When the doorbell rang I yanked it wide
 
Three sets of eyeballs stood there white eyed~

They didn't expect my ghostly "BOO"!



"Trick or Treat" one finally professed

My staring gaze...they thought me possessed.

I grabbed a handful of candy for each

And with an alabaster hand stretched out my reach~

I thought, "Another Halloween Conquest"!


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One Symptom Of What Is Wrong.

Who needs parades or who gets the wing?
We have no need for carols to sing.
For what matters today
is:" Get out of my way!"
as Black Friday and bargains are king.


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A blessing for 2014

Will those who want rapture connect
To the one who could resurrect?
Be blessed with vision
Take in what's arisen
A member that’s hard and erect


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Premature Exoneration

"It's a cuckold I am!", Mick sadly said
"I'm after finding black hairs in me bed!"
  "An' there's a relief!"
  Sighed Rusty O'Keefe
"I was shure ye were aboot ta say red!"


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Revolving Resolution

Written by Gail DeBole

Zelma Zotz's new year's contribution
Is to think of a definite solution
   To avoid making a plan
   (which she really can't stand)
For yet another new year's resolution!


Gail's Note:  You can find some historical information about the history of the new year's resolution at http://www.examiner.com/article/history-of-new-year-s-resolutions.


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Ding Dong

Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong
I stood up to put my mask on
Grabbed the bowl of mixed candy
Took one more sip of Brandy
The smallest one was dressed as Tron


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A Not So Good Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a day to be grateful,
Not a day to be grumpy or hateful.
But a burnt pumpkin pie,
And a turkey that's dry,
Might make it hard to be elateful.*


11/16/12
*(I realize elateful is not a word, but I claim poetic
   license.)































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Brown Bag Flu

I made myself sick with the brown bag flu,

     From drinking too much of that “Mountain Dew”;

          So here’s what I say,

          NO drinking today;

                I pray this never happens to you!


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Halloween Limerick Contest

There once was a lady named Queen
That loved going out on Halloween
She’d give the kids a fright
That lasted more than a night
With ghostly looks and lips of green


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IS IT RESOLVED

The holidays are a time when we hold loved ones close

making New Year's resolutions to be better and not so morose.

With trimming the tree,  the gifts, the cards, the good wishes for all

Spending too much time and money at the mall.

Our hangover on Jan 2nd makes our resolutions go out the windows.


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Leprechaun

Leprechaun

There once was a spry leprechaun
Whom I finally laid hands upon
And I planned to hold
Until I got his gold
Then he said it was all a big con

He said leprechaun gold was a joke
And his magic was all mirrors and smoke
But if I let him go
Good luck he’d bestow
To me and the rest of my folk

And so of course I let him go
Good luck?  Well it has yet to show
But I think I did right
Let him out of my sight
I’m still waiting for riches to show

You all have known me awhile
And you know of my poetic style
It won’t bring me fame
You’ll forget my name
But with luck I just might make you smile

2/12/13


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Steaming in Sweets

Florida’s steaming sun comes into play
Even on the joyful Easter Sunday

An Easter basket prepared with great care
Wee Wendy eats before saying a prayer
     In ninety-degree heat
     Ah, the taste’s so sweet
Blonde it once was, but now brown is her hair

Li’l Adam tore through his basket too fast
Chocolate bunnies and eggs downed in a flash
His folks had hoped the Easter treats would last
But to the bathroom, Adam had to dash



*Couplet, Limerick and Quatrain
Written April 15, 2014


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Some Limericks...

She’s out there chasing a cricket

Through bush, through shrub & through thicket

Together they hop

Fugitive, cop

But when she gets it, she just wants to lick it!
 

A cat whose vet took his eye

Just cannot quite understand why

His eye’s been enucleated,

3-D vision reduciated,

So now, he keeps an eye out for an eye

 
Ya gotta keep limericks loose

Think green eggs, or perhaps Dr. Seuss

They’re structured, it’s true,

But they’re also a zoo

Whose tenants are all on the loose!


I frolic in fountains of words

Overflowing with serious absurds

Each poem I write

Wakes up and takes flight

Joining angels and faeries and birds

 
You ask that we write a good limerick

How to do so, I haven’t a glimmerick

So I struggle and frown

Teaching  poems to clown

So a smile on your lips will be shimmerick

 
A cat with a mouth full of mouse

Brought her feast right into my house

She played with her food

Who was not in the mood

To be a banquet of mouse in the house

 
The nightmares that shadow my sleep

Stampede the proverbial sheep

Right out of my mind

When I try to unwind

I find my appointment with sleep hard to keep

 
In her search for original truth

She met people unsavory and couth

She knitted and purled

But only unfurled

Yarns told by new age and old youth

 
Cat, suddenly pink,

Drinks her water from out of the sink

She looks so absurd

Since she’s been de-furred

I really don’t know what to think!

 
If one and one is two and two is four,

And there’s only two ways to go through  a door,

Then, is earth up or down?

And, where is down town?

These are questions we need to explore!

 
A was that is an is

Tried to mind my biz

But I sent it packing,

Its presence was lacking

And I don’t have time for such shiz!


A couple who lived in Los Lunas

Loved the wide desert sky’s crystal blueness

They’d stare at the air,

Over here, over there

And rejoice at the feeling of newness

 
A cat with a very fat gut

Found it easier to walk on his butt

He’d drag it around

Across carpet and ground

And use it to slam the doors shut

 
Said the Missus to her dear Mr. Otter,

“There’s something I think that you oughta

Do before we get old

To protect us from cold –

You oughta make the hot water hotter!”

 
The ghosts who live up in my attic

Make noises that sound much like static

I’ve tried to send them away,

But they’re here to stay,

Those staticky ghosts in my attic


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Thanksgiving in the mirror

With "plenty" this culture's endowed 
Bad outcomes are never allowed!
But nature's stealthy
And notes for the wealthy
Silver linings come with a cloud


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Two-Fifty-Four

Two-Fifty-Four
©2012 C. Brent Cloyd

I bought a new scale at the Wal-Mart store.
Made it secure and level on the floor.
I took a breath, then stepped on.
The digits I saw made me moan.
Surely, I do not weigh two-fifty-four!

Let’s balance the scale, then I’ll try once more.
Adjusted proper, they’ll give the right score.
This time the scales will behave.
I stepped on, tried to be brave.
But with a grin they said “two-fifty-four”.

I would like to throw these scales out the door.
Wish they were lying, but I can’t ignore. 
I’ve gobbled many things sweet
And chewed on too much red meat.
My expanding poundage is “two-fifty-four”.

My belly is huge, my chin is galore.
Need to lose it, but process is a chore.
Need diet low in fat and starch.
So my stomach will not arch.
Hope to be smaller than “two-fifty-four”.

Would a brisk walk cause my health to restore?
Would losing blubber help me not to snore?
Let’s get started. Soon I say!
Well - after the holiday!
Cause my clothes don’t fit at “two-fifty-four”.














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To Believe or Not Believe

~~~to Believe or not Believe~~~

Groundhogs are liars, they do not know

If Spring is here or there'll be more snow

So remember Groundhog day

They're just in it for the pay

While they put on their prophetic show




for Linda Marie's February Funny Bone contest

Francine Roberts ~~~ 31/01/2012


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Where's The Beef

A leprechaun went to the pub
He asked for corned-beef in his sub
The corned-beef had mold
'Till he showed them some gold
They gave him free beer and fresh grub!



_____________________
For Andrea
2/13/14


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Vacation, Duration, Frustration, grrr

I know of a pretty New Jersey lass Who decided to vacation First Class But on the very first night Oh no! Cancelled flight What a total pain in the ass I'm sure her tomorrows will be better Or she'll surely be posting a letter If her plane don't take off soon It could be worse than High Noon She'll be angry, we'll just have to fetter When things couldn't have gotten any worse Once again she has to dip into her purse For the flight is okay But triple charges she'll pay A vacation just shouldn't be a curse .