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Limerick History Poems | Limerick Poems About History

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Details | Limerick | |

AHEAD OF HIS TIME

Young Shakespeare didst say to his tutor,
"Methinks I wouldst be much astuter,
And per chance, I wouldst say,
Mightest write a screen play,
If some fool wouldst invent the computer."


Details | Limerick | |

The Gods' Family Tree

An Egyptian I never could be,
but since reading of their history,
in limerick form
I now write to inform
my friends of the Gods’ family tree.

From “Waters of Chaos” came Nun,
the only God under the sun.
The first piece of ground
rose up as a mound.
Hun stood there and coughed up a son!

Hun spat out the God of Air, Shu,
and he spat out a cute goddess too.
Tefnut was her name.
Moisture was her fame.
She and Shu beget children - two!

Their son was named Geb; the girl, Nut.
I’m not sure how to say her name, but
I sure like to say
Goddess Sky’s name the way
that rhymes with the famous King Tut.

When he laughed, the son Geb, “God of Earth,”
made the earth shake beneath his great girth.
I think Geb is busy
in modern days, for he
quakes often, for he’s fond of mirth!

For the tale to proceed, there ensued
some more incest, and not to be crude,
Nut, the Goddess of Sky,
got it on with the guy,
King of Earth, and they had a big brood.

There came forth from their coupling,
Queen Isis and a new Earth King,
Osiris, who was
a good king because
he ruled all rebirth, a great thing!

One son, against harmony, came
to kill Osiris, and his name
was Seth; once again
like the story of Cain -
an envious brother to blame.

But Seth got his just desserts when,
having married his Mom Isis, then
he was killed by HIS son,
named Horus, who won
the throne, and so “good” ruled again.

From Seshat to Sekmet to Rah,
Gods were worshipped by ancients with awe.
You’d have worshipped them too
had you been born to do
your poems on papyrus. Ha ha.


Details | Limerick | |

Bonfire Night





There once was a Fawkes name of Guy Whose dastardly plans went awry Now in November We still remember And take pleasure in watching him fry
see about poem


Details | Limerick | |

Prep Talk

<                                      Peter ~ Piper ~ picked ~ pickled .... peppers
                                        Ate ~ one ~ turned ~ into ~ hot ~ salsa ... stepper
                                                Cherry ~ Banana ~ ....  Bell 
                                         Boy - his - tongue - throat - did ... swell
                                         Couldn't ~ even ~ yell ~ at ~ packs ... prepper






Entry For
Destroyer {Poet's }
Pickles & Tickles Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

These Colors Don't Run Limerick

<                                 once were twin towers on horizon
                                   bombarded by Al Qaeda what sin
                                   then came many heros
                                   lost too at ground zero
                                   America's flag still flew in wind




In Loving Memory To Those Lost
On 911 R.I.P. You Are Not Forgotten


Details | Limerick | |

Your Time is not My Time

A gift during the time of the great V.O.C.
A symbol of stature it was meant to be
     Made in the Netherlands
     To replace hourglass sands
But the gnomon was not made for SA, see?!

The Old Sundial, gracing one of the entrants to The Gardens, Cape Town, was made to order (and at great expense) by a company in the Netherlands, on the request by one of Cape Town’s erstwhile governors. After it was assembled in The Gardens, someone noticed that the gnomon was facing the wrong way, IE  It could not be used in the southern hemisphere! Same as moss grows on the north side of pines in the northern hemisphere, it grows on the south side in the southern hemisphere - due to the position of the sun ;-) 

Please see the about section for further details regarding the references made in this Limerick.


Details | Limerick | |

Memorial Halloween

Halloween excitement going out night
City Parks Department hosting fright
Costumes, games, clowns, prizes, fun
Chance to eat at least a ton
Fun and games over lights way too bright

On the way home feeling very faint sick
All that candy and hotdogs did the trick
When get home vomit uncontrolled
Mother my head has to hold
Found out next day measles will have to kick


Details | Limerick | |

February Funny Bone

                                 Once came along a groundhog named Phil
                                 Looked for shadow in winters chill
                                         Even top hat and coat
                                         Didn't stop whining's gloat
                                Stuck six more weeks paying heating bill                                 
                                  






Written by 
Katherine Stella 2/4/12
Entry For
Linda Marie's
February Funny Bone Contest
G.L. ALL


Details | Limerick | |

Twins

.

Twin babies lifted very high
Beauties would draw many a sight
What if they sagged way down
Not good sight around town
Without lift they've gone awry

Contest: Limericks Hilarious
Sponsor: John Freeman
*Note
Click on: " About This Poem"
Gives explanation...


Details | Limerick | |

Limerick: Once the Great Grandson of Queen Victoria

Limerick: Once the Great Grandson of Queen Victoria

Once the great grandson* of Victoria
Heir to the throne of tsarist Russia
Saved by “Doc” Rasputin
Killed by Lenin-Stalin
Lo! Heir to Queen Vic’s haemophilia!

    *Tsarevich Alexei of the Romanov royal house.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013


Details | Limerick | |

Hardy by Name, Hardy by War

In History, Nelson fought the Spanish
This powerful Armada did vanish
My ancestor was in thrall
Kismet Hardy had a ball
No invasion, the infidels, banished


Details | Limerick | |

Hillary Billary

Hillary Billary!
Stop this Sillary!
Surely we can do better than this.
How about that Lizzie Warren miss?
Hell No! Go, Go Hillary!


Details | Limerick | |

Pay Up

<                    hes my banker and my heads horseman
                      calling bounty on anothers land
                      hark the herald angels
                      I think this game is swell
                      now thimble owes me sixty five grand







Written by Katherine Stella

Entry For Judy Konos's
Monopoly The Game Of Life Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Creating Graves to Rob

Prescott Bush proved his moxie
as war-profiteer proxy
with brother Harriman
since shame can't bury them
when suggestions turn Nazi.


Details | Limerick | |

The Very Same Tree

Racism is what really annoys me
For we were all in the very same tree
When we came down to the ground
We just spread around
And that's how there is you and there's me


Details | Limerick | |

Taxing Dilemma

Rich ones get richer from our wages.
Middle man paid with too many pages.
We continue on path.
Hiding outrageous wrath,
Revolved in political stages,

Taxes, taxes, what will be the due.
Deductions, exemptions for a few,
All my money they have kept.
Deducting tears I wept.
Tax man arrived claimed all of them too.

The poor keeps getting poorer each year.
They cannot wait for rebate, they cheer.
Sell off, early rebate.
Federal and the state,
Money now, money, for wine and beer,


Written for

Sponsor Carolyn Devonshire 
Contest Name Taxing Times 


Details | Limerick | |

Christopher Columbus Trilogy

In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
In the Pinta, Nina and Santa Marie
He found the New World,
And got spooked by a squirrel.
Thats the last you heard of C.C.

God had created the New World.
And saw that it was good.
In mystery it  remained covered,
Till Columbus came and discovered
Just as his Lord knew that he would.

He sailed with the blessing of Spain
And when he dicovered the land,
He named it after Amerigo Vespucci,
('Cause he had not yet heard of Gucci,)
As God instructed him beforehand.

                                                                               Charlie Pelota HSLP


Details | Limerick | |

Thieves Beneath Contempt.

Lining pockets with cash large and small,
Once found out, they return not one call.
But an amendment we need
to inflict on this breed
the same treatment that they give us all.


Details | Limerick | |

Farm Boy Lost

Farm boy Judd McFadden joined the army and was sent to Afghanistan.
Three months later he was shot and killed by a sorry jihadist from Pakistan.
His buddies crossed the border,
Despite a direct order,
And chased down the lousy dirty stinking rat bastard devil worshipping Taliban.


Details | Limerick | |

To Patrick, I thank

When I was just a little boy
Aged seven I had so much joy
In Commander Job I was so fond
He was Ian Fleming's James Bond
A war hero, he's the real McCoy






* When I was seven years old, I had the privilage of staying with
   Patrick Dalzel-Job, feel free to copy and paste his link *

   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Dalzel-Job


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Wasting My Time { Edit }

<                               One by one they'll shall roll on and come
                                 Like soldiers marching to beaten drums
                                 Echoes  are acknowledge
                                 Cast across thy arched bridge
                                 Haste makes waste even for everyone




Inspired By
Carolyn Devonshire's Contest
Follower Or Leader
GL All


Details | Limerick | |

Vladimir King Kong

Hammer Sickle Ding Dong,
Vladimir Putin thinks he’s King Kong.
He conquered Crimea in a day.
Obama said: “What The Hey!
Doesn’t Vlad know that’s just plain wrong?”


Details | Limerick | |

Lady Godiva


Coventry's Lady Godiva goes 
side saddle, naked from head to toes; 
her blonde hair down to there, 
and her bottom all bare, 
'cause farmers pay taxes through the nose.


Details | Limerick | |

As Lenin Once Infamously Said...

They are spending each last printed dollar.
They ignore us out here who still holler:
"Better tighten your belt,
 or what might be felt
 is the noose slipping under your collar." 


Details | Limerick | |

Thus, Fate Avengeth

Henry VIII desireth an heir.
Wife after wife, nary son hath wives bourne.
Thusly, he cut off each head.
Findeth a new wife instead.
His sole son hath been born from an affair.


Details | Limerick | |

Harriet Tubman - Maverick

Harriet Tubman helped free slaves
Determination gave her the strength 
To break the law
And have slaves crawl
Through tunnels to make their escape -
She risked her life every day


3/12/12
Added additional line at end


Details | Limerick | |

Guillotine

Robespierre, Danton and all of those 
crazy French revolution 'heroes' 
had thousands guillotined  
by La Machine that gleaned 
heads; then 'offed' their own midst their wild throes.


Details | Limerick | |

You're Going To Get It Now But Good

<                             once there was an old cat named chessur
                               only listened to alice for sure
                               but sometimes dissappeared 
                               and left behind grins smear
                               so I've gone mad and shaved off hides fur





Entry For Debbie Guzzi's
Go Ask Alice Contest
        G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Complaints Transpired

He complained, complained, complained
All he ever did was complain
Then suddenly he got fired
What next then transpired
Was he wished, he could complain again




(Limerick...Sort of...We have all heard that person who complains about their job instead 
of being grateful that they have a paying job that puts food on the table...So the thought 
came to me about this one.)


Details | Limerick | |

Wartime Blues

Ukraine! Iraq! Iran!
Then there’s Afghanistan!
Wars! Wars! They’re everywhere!
Every man jack should care!
The brave should take a stand!


Details | Limerick | |

Brontoleesaurus



I'm a long-necked Brontoleesaurus
Sometimes called great Apatosaurus
I only eat twigs and leaves
Another large salad, please?
And a steak for my friend, Segisaurus


tall brontosaurus
a museum favorite 
children gather



*Lee is my middle name

By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, March 17, 2012
For the Dinosaur Quest contest (PD)
Third place


Details | Limerick | |

Debalaur-burbondoc


There once was a small island secret
Where dragons they lived by an edict
The fauna and floura
They ate a plethora
'Till soon thier great size it did Re-strict.

komodo dragons
present day island secret
edict still upheld


 3/26/2012

For: ~PD's Dino Contest:
#1 option:one limerick + one haiku


Details | Limerick | |

I Love Lucy

<          once there was a redhead gal name lucy
            now skit comes to mind is real juicy
            job switching with the men
            conveyer belt takes a spin
            chocolate oh how did she loosey



Entry For Shani Fassbender's
Favorite Television Show / Episode Remembered


I Chose I Love Lucy
 

Written By Katherine Stella 7/1/11


Details | Limerick | |

CUBBIE EPITATH




   Oh, the team that has brought so many cheers

            to the fans who followed them o'er the years

    "Losable Lovers"

     of Windy City fame

            Generations of heartaches and tears.


Details | Limerick | |

The AFL-NFL Championship Game

The first game was played in California;
LA Coliseum the arena.
Here, you may have a doubt.
The game was not sold out.
This is just some more useless trivia.

The Packers were led by Vince Lombardi.
Hank Stram brought his Chiefs from Kansas City.
In this football showdown
from this West Coast town,
the team from Green Bay won the first trophy.


Details | Limerick | |

Washington's 'Turkeys'

We are told that Franklin would have preferred

     The scrumptious turkey as our nations' bird

          Though old Ben's advice was scrapped

               A turkey might have been apt

                    Since Washington's 'turkeys' are so absurd

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Limerick | |

Limerick: Once the Middle Kingdom's top Concubine

Limerick: Once the Middle Kingdom’s top Concubine

Once the Middle Kingdom’s top Concubine*
Said to rule China through love combine
Dallying generals: O! Dear!
Forced Emperor to fear:
Eunuch strangled her at Buddhist shrine.

*Emperor Xuanzong’s Consort and his daughter-in-law,
Yang Guifei, 719-756 C.E.

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013


Details | Limerick | |

THEO-OLIGARCHIC HAPPENINGS IN SLOVENIA


URAN'S WILLY

Taking sides in discussions holily
About whether Uran used his willy
Means you're trapped in their game -
Either side is the same:
Cock distracts, cash departs, crowd stays silly.



Story:
http://www.sloveniatimes.com/scandals-in-the-slovenian-church-to-go-on


The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand interprets important Slovenian affairs for the non-Slovene speaking world. 


www.maria.si


Details | Limerick | |

AH, IF COLUMBUS

Ah, If Columbus had not sailed
for America: the new land,
cigarettes wouldn't kill
those feeling the chill...
many would be alive, not dead!


Details | Limerick | |

Let's Duke It Out

<                   Once came along an man named John Wayne
                     Winchester by his side causes more pain                           
                     Dusty trails ballroom brawls
                     Battlefield's muddy crawls
                     The duke of western inflicting gains


Details | Limerick | |

Joycedmontosaurus

I'm a prehistoric dinosaur
And I lived millions of years before,
God created man,
By ongoing plan.
I was destroyed by a meteor.

They lived long ago when the world was young
and in peace and plenty abided.
Some roamed the land dressed up in fur.
Hard armor for some was provided.
They did not ask from where they came
nor question the where of their going,
They were quite contented with their lot
and had no need of knowing.
The meat eaters didn’t waste their food,
they killed only what they could eat.
They lived by God given instinct,
with no lying and no deceit.
It went on like this for eons,
God created and then refined.
He wanted to populate the Earth
with these beings of every kind.
It was after He created Man
from a handful of dry sod
that sin descended on the Earth.
Man broke the laws of God.
Given free will, Man took the reins
and traversed the whole of Earth.
And that is how Sin came to be 
given unholy birth.

dinosaurs vanish
replaced by man…
sin enters


By: Joyce Johnson 3/17/12 Limerick---old poem---haiku Won a 3rd
For pd's Dinosaur lLQuestcontest


Details | Limerick | |

The Goddess Nut

There once was this goddess named Nut
Who was found in the tomb of King Tut
Her head was a cow
But her body was “WOW!”
And as goddesses go – she kicked butt

Her skin was the hue of the sky
Covered with stars floating by
Of her it was said
She protected the dead
She was one of the highest of high

But the statues of her were all hidden
And common folks looking – forbidden
Only priests got to peek
Incantations they’d speak
Wishing she could be bedridden

Mdailey	7/28/11
Placed 15th in contest


Details | Limerick | |

Trilling Tray

                                                     Trilling Tray (Limerick)

                                  Parrots have men in the palm of their hands
                         Through the pirated palimpsest that is from man's land
                         There is no point getting into panic about the tall story
                                     Touch me if it is a wild and wacky story
                         But if it is worthwhile to the core, (then) hold my hands.


Details | Limerick | |

Slamming Politicians

They slam each other every day.
Tearing them apart in a sly way,
Truth I say, what a lie.
Political games cry.
Give them cement shoes, drop into bay.

Next election, vote for three blind mice,
They would fare better, than roll of dice.
Vote now for mystery.
Go down in history.
For they have no “tales-tails“, truths suffice.


Details | Limerick | |

Katrina Homecoming

The flood waters lapped all around
Leaving not very much dry ground
So we all rowed home
And got The Road Home
Raising our houses up off the ground


Details | Limerick | |

'Mort Ghlinne Comhann'

A number of centuries ago
In 1692, in a place called Glencoe
      Where a massacre took place
      And the Clan Campbell lost face
When neighbours were sometimes your foe







http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/scotland-4.php


Details | Limerick | |

Columbus

Columbus, ignoring advice,
Went out searching for Indian spice.
     His signals got crossed
     And soon he was lost
Which for us, turned out better than nice.

So this holiday everyone hails
One who, at his intended goal, fails;
     But because of his goof
     We're indebted - as proof,
All the stores have Columbus Day sales!


Details | Limerick | |

Marconi Man

I'm Marconi, and I work with knobs
But this Techno just gives me the throbs
Printed circuits and boards
So much memory is stored
Gone are the days of hand jobs


Details | Limerick | |

Tyrannosaurus Bob

Tyrannosaurus Bob is who I am.
You herbivore dinos had better scram.
When I have an appetite,
I will give you a big bite.
I never settle for just eggs and ham.

It’s Jurassic time.
Dinosaurs are on the earth.
The big reptiles rule.


Details | Limerick | |

Lost Freedom

When did we lose our country free?
Our ancestors set rules in degree.
Now they tell us what’s good
Do what we say, understood.
Old George would cut more than a cherry tree


Details | Limerick | |

What to Do

We had a plan, to follow true.
If we do not, what resigns the clue?
Follow the leaders now.
After they break a vow,
Even though, they know not, what to do


Details | Limerick | |

1965 Ford Falcon

In high school, I had a Falcon made by Ford. That was just about all that we could afford. It was from the fleet of Ma Bell. They drove it a lot, I could tell. Graduating high school, it was my reward. It came from the year of 1965. That was before many of us were alive. Transmission was a three speed stick. Sometimes, driving it made me sick. For more than two years, that was all I could drive.


Details | Limerick | |

Selene

(The Baby Machine)

Beautiful Selene, goddess of the moon
With her lover Endymion she did spoon
So prolific was she
Fifty daughters from he
Gave him eternal sleep in a cocoon

INTO THE MOOD OF IMAGERY Contest
Submitted by Charles Sides


Details | Limerick | |

POETIC JUSTICE

In days of olde
Lords spoke French to their king,
In church,in Latin would sing-
Poets,changing this mould,
Their verses,in English did bring.

Note.Poetry & literature in the 1300's helped to coalesce English into a native,nationwide 
language by rejecting both the secular religious power of the 'colonial' French of the Court 
and 'imported' Latin of the state Chuch


Details | Limerick | |

Wise Mom

Mom had saying; I found out was true
She had many; but this one will do.
Locks keep out the honest.
Thieves will reach the harvest.
Thou shall not steal, some never got clue.


Details | Limerick | |

Freedoms Not Allowed

Not allowed to chew gum anymore,
What will be next, not able to open door?
This may seem frivolous.
Will be advantageous,
To profiteer, he will know the score. 


Details | Limerick | |

The bragging rites

A man named Erik sang a drunken lyric                                                                                                                                                         on the way up quicken this limerick                                                                                                                                                               a field for the horses the name of course                                                                                                                                              I will take it by force sang the drunken Norse                                                                                                            unleashing ire a land this limerick


Details | Limerick | |

Politician

There once was a man who could tell no lie.
Could laugh quietly and deeply cry.
Placed into politics,
Then learning, some new tricks.
Now truth forgot, so much by and by.


Details | Limerick | |

George W

Washington chopped down his pop’s cherry tree.
He led our armed forces to victory.
And then just for kicks,
he entered politics.
How far did George go with his honesty?


Details | Limerick | |

The Ark (Limerick)

From God Noah received a great plan 
Build an Ark stay on dry land 
people stared and squawked 
some came and laughed 
Until flood sailed it like a can


Details | Limerick | |

Some rime with that?

A poet was rhyming an ode
Driving his car down the road
He became so engrossed
That his car hit a post
And his trousers became a commode

So from that day on our sweet poet
Swore on his word that he'd stow it
avoiding such deep concentration
Before he'd become so unravelled
Or he'd be on a roadway less travelled


Details | Limerick | |

Holy Rasputin


There once was a sage man named Rasputin,
With filthy beards, and wore cross made of tin.
While preaching his holy crafts,
He met the queen and her staffs.
He slept with them that got him in a bin.


Details | Limerick | |

The Grass is Greener

We’re not called upon to choose anything we live through;
Neither parent nor sibling nor school nor form of sinew;
Neither colour of hair or eye or skin,
Nor love or hate, nor loss or gain
Nor opportunities nor whence we come. So much is true.

But as much as this truth I hold as true as sunlight,
I know that painful times will time to time alight
When with bitter phlegm you curse
The earth where you breathed first
And wish your day of birth were scratched by He with might.

I know. Same feelings have plagued my adult soul
And the wish for better home to make each day whole
Has been dashed by shameful news,
Where Hope, seeing Hitler, and 94’s Hutus,
Needs to hide its youth to stall the death toll.

But amidst pain, hate and bottled despair rife
There’s the rare love, innocent and hardly grasping to life.
For here, we can give our all
When we choose to keep you from a fall.
We really do it: humble, loving…just like the Lord’s life.

Yes, it’s easier to perceive the weeds in one’s garden
For the pastures beyond gleam in our myopia, hiding their burden.
And seeing that weed can cast a shadow
On all that’s sweet, but cause much ado
About the bitter parts, and it day by day your heart will harden.

Think of the evening breeze on the night grill,
Feeding the flames of a delicious family fish meal.
Think of hitting the unadulterated
Lands of hills where ancient rivers percolated
And happy goats skip, and cattle graze and one can feel

Life whizzing through rustling leaves of dancing old tree or reed,
Playing the music our ancestors learned to read,
Making your lungs touch their purpose,
Dazzling your eyes like a Jabbawockeez pose,
The music we’ve forgotten as we focus on some RSS feed.

Think of the youths wise with tradition re-enacting solemnly
The dances and music handed down from before when Ptolemy
Phrased ancient philosophical data,
To the time of the expansive empire of Sundiatta
Beads stomping the dust frantically in musical poetry.

Picture the pure darkness which crowds the silent night air,
Unveiling the marvellous dotted and scattered there
In the moonlit heavenly canvas,
Watching us from light years past,
And we fascinated by the sparkling magic they share.

So to sum it all up, I know it cannot be perfect,
And sometimes I rant and make massive graffiti of its defects,
But this home my parents chose
Still draws my spirit close,
For the bond is deeper, far deeper than human senses can detect.

(c) Nyonglema