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Limerick Health Poems | Limerick Poems About Health

These Limerick Health poems are examples of Limerick poems about Health. These are the best examples of Limerick Health poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!

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Slams Destroyed Her Head

Slams Destroyed Her Head

She was slammed by slam poetry, boo hoo!
Some folks wondered about the hullabaloo.
When bombarded with dread,
Sad thoughts destroyed her head.
Now, she thinks she’s a blithering cuckoo!

© July 17, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen

Details | Limerick | |

Slow Golf

Golfers ahead were really slow
because their dead balls just wouldn't go
     we offered them beer,
     later we found cheer--
 they stepped aside to let it outflow.

Details | Limerick | |

Voldemort, by contrast, was vanquished easily

Changed climate is not a surprise
With drilling for gas on the rise
Where can life forms hide
From carbon dioxide
And methane let loose in the skies?

Neo-druids auger gas wells
And add fluids with sulfurous smells! 
Are poisons they've tapped
With their magic wands trapped
Evermore by sorcerous spells? 

Votes and news seem not relevant
The unrelenting elephant
In all our best rooms
Is fossil fuel's fumes
And toxins we can't circumvent 

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My Germ Filled Limerick

My nose is redder than red
The flu has put me in bed
I sniffle and drip
I can’t get a grip
For there’s pure lead in my head

Coughed up a poem or two
That might not make sense to you
The germs and the phlegm
Have covered this gem
Clean it, for it is…true blue!

It’s been a miserable day
Been grumpy all the way
But for this great SOUP
You guys are the scoup
Much better than meds…. I’ll say!

Eileen Manassian Ghali

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There Once Was A Young Boy Called Tim

There once was a young boy called Tim,
Who decided the Mersey to swim,
Got in to his knees,
But started to freeze,
So decided it wasn't for him!

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Brown Bag Lunch

A patient came out of the patient's room
Into the doctor's office lobby zoom
A brown paper bag
Held in his hand sag
Declared, "I'll share my lunch" with loud boom  

My husband with humorous thought said
They go good with salad and no bread
The patient then spoke
Croutons atop bloke
Laughter and  twinkle between unsaid 

At least he had a sense of humor..
When they weighted me I came
back out and told my husband
I just found out that I am way too

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Golf's My Favorite

Of all the sports, watching Baseball's the best

I've less interest, but watch some of the rest

        But I'm pleased to report

        Golf's my favorite sport

It's healthy, fun, and a challenging test.

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The Sugar Shack Is Closing

I adore sweets and that's just pathetic
cos' for ten years I've been diabetic.
When that pie rolls around 
or the muffins are crowned
my desire for them grows quite kinetic.

There are wrappers hidden under the bed
and there's leftover banana bread.
Every year I vow
to stop eating somehow.
If I keep this up I could be dead!

So I'll ring out the old-start anew.
I can do it if I think it through.
Throw the sugar away
and start over today.
Eating rabbit food's what I'll now do!

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Glasses On The Shelf

There was a man from Thomaston Of real good vision he had none Glasses weren't any help They sat upon the shelf From his surgery he's left stunned
My husband has had cataract surgery this week.. He says that he can't see any better out of the eye upon which he had surgery.

Details | Limerick | |

Losing weight

Solving the weight problem

Most folk say they can’t lose weight
But me I well might this debate
Eat much less 
Walk much more
Then most will lose the weight for sure.

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Iths The Cold And Flu Theason

My nothe ith sthopped up and I can't respthire

   My lungths are congeshted and all afire

      My eyeths are rheumy and red

         Perthspiration floods my bed

             Merthy Lord! I think I'm gonna exthpire


Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Righths Retherved

First Place in Gwendolyn's " The Sneezing Limerick" Contest - January 2012

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The astonishing disappearing act

Proctologists need to write when 
A prescription's called for big ben 
But a doctor equipped
With thermometer quipped
An asshole's walked off with my pen

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Memorial Halloween

Halloween excitement going out night
City Parks Department hosting fright
Costumes, games, clowns, prizes, fun
Chance to eat at least a ton
Fun and games over lights way too bright

On the way home feeling very faint sick
All that candy and hotdogs did the trick
When get home vomit uncontrolled
Mother my head has to hold
Found out next day measles will have to kick

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Stay Well

Health plans are many, take your pick
You'll need one when you get sick
give longevity a chance
cheat death of circumstance
and give your heart more time to tick.

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Upset Tummy

When her gastrointestinal tract 
went gurglly and angrily talked back;   
lamented my Maria, 
"This damn diarrhea 
with me flat on my back so lacks tact."

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Ode to Pepsi

My addiction to Pepsi is a curse It's bad for my body and for my purse Limit is one per day But I have feet of clay I love the stuff..for better or for worse
for the Beverage contest...glug Barbara Gorelick 10/27/11

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Two lovers with a second chance
At life enriched with sweet romance,
Repeat their wedding vows
In manner God allows,
With tasteful, simple elegance.

Loved ones and good friends gather near
Sharing in the joy and cheer.
Italian day is fair,
Blessing the happy pair,
Predicting future bright and clear.

May their good fortune never wane,
And sunshine over-power the rain.
Their love will be their wealth
In sickness and in health.
May their deep love always remain.

By: Joyce Johnson

For Linda-Marie's Loveland Limerick contest  won a 5th in this
from photo j 17 6858

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I'm Cuckoo For Coco Puffs

<                      once was an  cuckoo bird named Sonny
                         tagging along gramps as first  gunny
                               shooting up cereal bowls
                     with dark puffs @@@ nice ~ and ~ slow
                            Oh how trix rabbit did so runny  

Entry For Poets Destroyer 's
Your Favorite Cereal Limerick
GL All                                  

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Cola Slurpees for the Soul

A bad day at the 7-11
The cola slurpee's not working again!
I don't want cherry,
Grape, or strawberry - 
Only cola gives me that peace-like zen!


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There once was a sneeze named “Ker-chew” His cousin next door was named “Flu” He found "cold" in the hallway, And threw up on the walkway, I do hope he doesn’t find you! ~written for Gwendolyn's challenge~

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There's a little green man in my head,
With a hammer that's made out of lead,
He bangs day and night,
Just so that he might,
Make sure all my brain cells are dead!

Details | Limerick | |

Pass The Tissues, Please

Starve a fever, feed a cold
Oh what's the use! Achoo!
All the Kleenex in the world
Will not undo this flu

Chicken soup, Vick's Vapor Rub
Capsules, gels and cream
All of Grandma's herbs and spice
With tons and tons of steam

I can't recline, I can't lie down
My septum's full again
My ears are clogged my throat is raw
I just don't know till when!

I guess I'll shiver till I sweat
Or sweat until I'm cold
Or call a friend or eat some toast
Or something much more bold!

I'll stop the moaning stop the pity
Complaining's oh so cheap
When I stop to think of it........
It just makes sense... to sleep!

Details | Limerick | |

Skin Care

She doesn't like her jowls and wattle; 
her wrinkles, crinkles and her mottle.  
She rubs in a lotion 
then applies a potion; 
if a little won't, maybe a lot'll.

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Fall Flu

Do you cough, do you sneeze, sweat and shake; 
till you think your whole body will break?  
This is still only fall,
and it's yet a long haul 
ere you shake Old Man Winter awake.  

Entered in ~gwendolen's~ 'The Sneezing Limerick Contest'.

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Will Power

This morning my weekly weigh-in was due
I screamed, surely it just couldn't be true
I tried not to cheat
But oh.. something sweet
Out the window my damned will power flew

Details | Limerick | |

I Pray, Some Day to be free from all of this Pain

I Pray
Some Day
to be free from all of this pain
Free from the thief,
that has come 
since 2001
to steal my body away;

I Pray 
Some Day,
that this Lupus
will just go away;
but I know it won't go
it keeps me in the throws,
with my organs, it just wants to play.

I Pray 
Some Day,
For Christ to please 
find his way;
to please lay his hand
and heal this man
so I can get down on my knees when I Pray!

copyright 2011 Rd. Pickett

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Looking For Good Doctor

From suffering man was now free
His doctor held answer you see
Though doctor will claim
That he’s not the blame
The heart attack came with his fee

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Limerick: shrinks, part 2

Once attending professional course
Shrinks attempted to fix mind flaws
They gorged on cocaine
But primitive brain
Has failed to achieve sacred pause

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Aches in my joints; am I just growing old?

Heat is blasting, but I’m shivering cold

     I won’t admit it

     Not for one minute

That a flu bug’s bitten and taken hold 

*For Gwen’s  “Sneezing Limerick” Contest

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Ah, If Columbus had not sailed
for America: the new land,
cigarettes wouldn't kill
those feeling the chill...
many would be alive, not dead!

Details | Limerick | |

Dental Procedure

Once upon a time recently
To dentist went confidently
He gave huge novacaine
Suppose to ease my pain
To my heart went incidently

The dentist chiseled tooth away
I didn't want to play rest of day
The morning after~Oh! well
I'll just say, upon pain did dwell  
But money to him still will pay

Sponsor: Black-Eyed Susan
Contest: The Worst Morning After
Written Monday, July 22, 2013
One week since the procedure
and I am still having some pain..
My heart still hasn't settled completely 

Details | Limerick | |

Lock Up

<                             once there was a girl locked in closet
                               dear old dad said well thats what you get
                               little did he come know
                               let out by little bro
                               but recaptured by moms fishing net 

Entry For Leighann Anderson's
Sea Of Words Contest
G.L. All                               

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Old Wine

The wine that my ancestors drank
I found in an old copper tank
It was bitter and red
And went straight to my head
As into a stupor I sank

Now the cure was much worse than the bite
Unless you kept drinking all night
Twas the hair of the dog
Got you out of the fog
Along with the early morn light

Now the moral of the story I’m told
Is to not drink the wine that’s this old
Stick with Bartles and Jaymes
And other known names
Then only drink what you can hold

Mdailey	6/18/11 (4:11 PM)

Contest:  bottle of wine

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Pru the Bee Keeper

There once was a keeper called Pru
Who suffered from bouts of the flu,
She was stung by her bees
As she let out a sneeze,
And turned all the honey to glue.

For Gwen's contest

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Fresh Air

I once got a terrible cold,
Or an allergy from some mold.
All I said was, “ah-chew,”
And I constantly blew,
Until fresh air got it controlled.

By: Greg Stanley

For Gwen's Contest

Details | Limerick | |

Now, Don't Look...

Making one hundred calls to get trimmer,
taking each diet pill to stay slimmer.
they tighten my flesh,
so each fold will mesh.
Here I come! Hit the light switch to dimmer!

Details | Limerick | |

Bad Timing

The sun is shining this beautiful day
I should be playing, not coughing away
   The flu germ has caught me
   I'm sick as I could be
When I'm well the rain will be back to stay

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Was It Somethiggg I Said

They're quickly away from my side.
My sneezing they just can't abide.
I've blown my nose off.
Peppered them with my cough.
Now I'm here all alone on this ride! 

for ~Gwendolen~'s Sneezing Limerick contest

Details | Limerick | |

Flu Symptoms

The coughing, the headaches, the sneezing
This flu bug is not at all pleasing
I’m down with the croup
So, I’ll drink chicken soup
and pray the soup high ends my wheezing

Details | Limerick | |

FREE CEE one or two of the six people who will read this might find it humorous

                          WAVE THE WAVES GOODBYE
there once was a beach in beleze
upon which a girl begged me "please"
so i put my hand
where nature had planned
and that's how i got this disease
  (c) copy write PHREEPOETREE ~free cee!~

Details | Limerick | |

Jamming Commercials

Starting earlier every year,
Christmas costs more and more with less cheer.
This year Santa fell flat.
His diet took the fat,
Elves said,” this will not be good” they fear.

Watching commercials, they got idea.
Close diners, except pizzeria.
Each ad on T.V. now,
Pictures of pizzas wow!
Santa gains, without diarrhea.

Ads worked, he got a jolly belly.
Elves solemnly sat in a deli.
Commercialized just right,
His red suit fit so tight,
They needed petroleum jelly.

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Boy Am I Hungry

Battle of the bulge
From greesy foods love to divulge
Over lips and through the gums
Love handles now do come
When will I learn not to indulge

Details | Limerick | |


I know what I’m doing is right
Not like I’ll be gone every night
The cupboards are bare
No one seems to care
Each time I find work it’s a fight

I wish I could change my life course
Not balking nor having remorse
All methods I try
It still makes me cry
When I ponder my enemy source 

I sort out my problems in vain
Revealed on my face my disdain
It’s not worth the stress
I have to confess
Uncertainty drives me insane

Randy Steele
"Me Against Myself" contest
June 28, 2011

Details | Limerick | |

Had to see it myself

In mind fields lost memories lurk
To find them a short cut might work
If thoughts can't unblock
Find them with a....tick....tock
Hypnosis is a keen file clerk

Details | Limerick | |

No Excuses

Some use tissue to blow their nose,
others rinse with a garden hose;
sneezing can cause one to fart,
blaming others is an art...
Help us all as flu season grows!

For "The Sneezing Limerick Contest" sponsored by Gwendolen.

Details | Limerick | |

Butcher Cassidy and the Sunshine Juice

There once was a butcher named Cassidy,
Who had a tremendous capacity,
To drink orange-juice all day,
And most will say,
He was good at this talent you see

Each day by one or two,
His skin took on a tangerine hue
And his eyes turned to two yellowish orbs
Yet he drank more juice,
And there was no use
In trying to squeeze him some more

Butcher Cassidy lived that way,
Till his dying day
And he was buried in a Chinese grave yard...
For he had turned permanently yellow
This juice-addicted fellow
That's just what OJ can do

And come next spring
To surprise evryone
From pauper to king
From the graveyard
Nature did bring,
A grove of orange trees

Some say when they pass
the orange-juice aisle
And if they linger awhile,
And urge for ribs and juice
Will come their way
And nothing else will do
So watch your intake of juice
Before the orange demon is let loose
And your life will end in dismay.

Details | Limerick | |

The Man Who Slept

there once was a man who only slept
over him his family wept
he had had a great fall
now he cant move it all
in his dreams his thoughts are kept

Details | Limerick | |

Lean Times

Lean Times
When times are lean and mean I have to conserve
I rely on pocket change in reserve
Like pennies, dimes and quarters
Times like these I might loiter
Anything to fill my tank and preserve

Details | Limerick | |

The Rest of the Story

It was a dare that took me to the edge
Stepping up I climbed blindly upon ledge.
Blindfolded such a mistake,
My legs bend and start to shake.
Hearing those words, your choice is just my pledge.

I fell to my knees in a bunch of trees.
I am not dead, but I have a disease.
Poison ivy was so thick.
Covered my body so quick,
Forever more, you will scratch, Harry, please.

Note: Limerick Title  "Should Have Known" by Paula Swanson

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Bridge Work

Extractions are cheaper than fillings
But the dentist went mad with the drillings
So alas and alack
And a bucket of plaque
 It cost me two quid; forty shillings!

Details | Limerick | |

Frosted Flakes

I ate a whole box of Frosted Flakes
Oh what a mess that sugar makes
I'd do it again
but diabetes set in
Just smelling it still gives me the shakes

Mdailey    9/30/11

Details | Limerick | |

Spraying Mucus

Though I have flu I tried putting up~show,
while on a date,sneezing spoils the smooth flow,
Mucus flies out of my nose,
which gives her a spraying dose;
with that look on her face,"no chance"!,I know.

Details | Limerick | |

Mixed Drink

Blackstrap molasses I drink every day.
I've learned it holds anemia at bay.
One tablespoon quick stirred up
with almond milk (a scant cup)
makes my red blood cells cheer. Hip hip hooray!


Nancy Jones
October 30, 2011
for Francine Roberts' Pick a Beverage, any Beverage contest

Details | Limerick | |

It's the Most Horrible Time of the Year

Oh do I feel lousy today!
This darn flu just won’t go away.
Go out in the cold?
I am not that bold.
In bed is where I want to stay.

Details | Limerick | |

Morgellons Bug

There is a new bug that has come to town.
It itches you, marks you and makes you frown.
Doctors say; all in your mind,
Since there is nothing to find,
It might be a two thousand twelve, break down.

Details | Limerick | |

Extreme Testimonial

Somebody mean once asked Arlene
how her routine left her so lean.
Whether drunk or on junk,
if it wasn't for spunk
she wouldn't get any protein.

Details | Limerick | |

No Time For The Flu

How dare that flu bug touch me!
Doesn't it know I'm as busy as a bee?
I don't have time to be sick,
I must be up quick.
What do you mean, it's not up to me?

12/29/11  For Gwendolyn's "The Sneezing Limerick" contest.

Details | Limerick | |


Time t'was the ol' Cap'n for me
Them Crunchberries coated my teeth
Once I came to my senses
Granola's pretenses
hugged me to firm grounding beneath.


Ahoy there!

(for PD's 'test)

Details | Limerick | |

My Life with Ms


My Life with M.S. isn't so bad, there's things I have to change,
Things I do on a daily basis will have to be re-arranged.
But no matter what I say or do, One thing could never be,
I know God gave this to me for a reason, he has a plan for me.
So even if I walk funny or talk alittle strange this is something that I wouldn't want to change.

Details | Limerick | |

Baubles, Bangles, And Nose Bleeds

You Quiz-puzzlers out there,
I hope you take care,
And don't sucumb to high blood pressure,
Please don't implode like the good sub, U.S.S. Thresher,
So take it in stride,
With the answers I do hide,
And you'll wake up all that much fresher

Details | Limerick | |


For days I coughed hard and hurt my guts,
drank tea like Britons from china cups,
the virus never left,
this poor guy never slept...
did this bad cold come from unwashed mugs?

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Rotten Cold

How can a virus make you feel so bad?
Bought all the potions the pharmacist had
My nose is red
Staying in bed
Using sick time being sick- makes me mad......

Details | Limerick | |


If you find yourself flummoxed with flu
There’s really not much you can do.
	Sip some soup or drink tea
	And eventually
You’ll feel less and less apt to ach-oo!

Details | Limerick | |


When a schoolteacher’s got halitosis
What his pupils fear most when he’s close is
That the smell of his breath
It  could choke them to death
And bring about chronic necrosis

Details | Limerick | |

No Reps

There was a bad gym teacher of Gott
Whose belly was becoming a pot.
He avoided exercising
Which wasn't surprising
Because he didn't give a squat.

Details | Limerick | |

Forgone Conclusion

I was gone b- four
they knew it
I had a sense
of in-tu-it,
And no one caught on,
That I was somehow gone,
And, this, this life, I blew it.

Details | Limerick | |

the twist of the needle

Vaccines are all carefully made
To fight what should make us afraid
Some hate the syringe
And now they should cringe 
As hosts the bad germs could invade