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Limerick Girlfriend Poems | Limerick Poems About Girlfriend

These Limerick Girlfriend poems are examples of Limerick poems about Girlfriend. These are the best examples of Limerick Girlfriend poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Limerick | |

Rock Paper Scissors

Rock Girl

You are scissors, and all you can do is to cut all those paper hearts through. But I’ve hardened my heart and before you can start to destroy me, I’m going to SMASH you!
(Gosh, PD, they won't even permit the ~sign in the title!)


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Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!


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Consider Cougars

Some men might prefer kitty cats oh so pretty, but they might be brats! The mature feline, though, is the one in the “know” and is better at dealing with rats! To the Cougar’s “prey“, I say fear not! It can be a good thing to get caught. Ashton Kutcher’s not blind. Maybe you too can find a cougar both wealthy and hot!
By Andrea Dietrich Inspired by Dr. Ram Mehta's Contest: "Cougar Effect"


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Beer Keg Legs


Meg has two old battered beer keg legs
that don't look to hold much more than dregs. 
But when Greg comes along 
she begs; "Please, please, belong 
to me.  I still gotta lotta eggs.”  


*Written at Elizabeth Wesley's request.


Details | Limerick | |

Do You

Do you love me?
or love me not?
You told me once,
But i forgot.
So tell me once,
and tell me twice,
and i will tell you,
that i love you.
I do believe,
that God above,
Created you,
for me to love.
He chose you out,
from all the rest,
because he knew,
I'd love you best.
       xxx


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Snappers

There once was a Chick from the sea
whose two buxom breasts were set free.
Twin seaweed straps snapped
as thunder clouds clapped
and the sailors drown ecstatically.


Details | Limerick | |

Monkey See

Monkey See~

There once was a monkey named Frank
Who loved to walk the plank
He said too many jokes
Pulled too many hoaxe-s 
Ha! Ha! Ha! Then he got a good spank

*

Who's that monkey in front of me
I dare to hang with you on a tree
Oh! What I do? Will you do?
Together we are like glue
Is that my flea or your flea?

~ Skat ~

Contest~


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"Does my butt look big ?"

I was with my girlfriend at dinner
With each bite she took, she got thinner
Until she was just skin and bone
I blinked twice and I was alone
I then woke up, lying next to her


Details | Limerick | |

.~69~. /Zodiac.Race/

~69~ /zodiac sign/

There once was a hermit crab named Nate
Who enjoyed the solitude of his hate
   Meeting a lovely lady
   A sexy Texan, name P.D.
Finding true hate, trying to online date 

(Zodiac Sign Contest)


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Birds -N- Bees

Your raging hormones you must ignore
For desires will shake you to your core
Listen to your heart 
Before you embark
Make love with someone you truly adore.

Sciences class teaches us what we should know
About body parts and where they should go
Willie goes in Muff
Quicken breaths we huff
All consumed till body fluids flow.

But alas the girl did not have none
Boy finished before girl was done
He is satisfied
She is horrified
Damn the hype about two joining as one.


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Valentine Dreams

Though Cupid was not on the scene
the dame had her very own scheme.
Her gent, she waylaid,
her breasts, she displayed
and cashed in on his Valentine dream.


Details | Limerick | |

Emmmmm Good

The spring in my pants was so dandy.
She wanted to suck it like candy.
When she closed her eyes.
I gave my surprise.
Never saw a girl quite that handy!


For Francine Roberts "Wow me in 5 lines" contest


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Breakup Text

Last night you texted, "Honey, it’s the end"
But I will not cry…my heart will soon mend
‘Cuz I’ve got so many calls
Unlike you, from guys with balls
And tonight, those balls are of your best friend


Details | Limerick | |

An Arrogant Cad

The most handsome of boyfriends I had
broke my heart; what an arrogant cad!
But I don't think I missed
out on much. How he kissed
makes me think - sex with him must be bad!



 For The Contest: A valentine Limerick~ to your x-lover the heart-breaker ( explaining how life goes on ) after the heart break.
Sponsored by Sidney ~ LeeAnn


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What A Way To Go

An old man bought her gems and he smiled,
Knowing where they would be in a while...
Sex with a young beauty,
Great legs, boobs and booty.
If he died, he'd be going in style.


Details | Limerick | |

Dick's Pick

There was a young man named Dick Nicholas,
whose girl's breasts were udderly ridic'lous.
She was so well endowed;
she embarrassed the cows.
Yet, Dick loved her 'cause she was ticklish.


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Flaws VS Flawless

It’s amazing what is seen as nice
clear skin with a soul stark as ice.
Long legs with a crotch
and out she will trot
at the end of his arm, once or twice.

Sweet hearts are all hidden it seems
men want only a tart for their dreams.
A crooked smile to beguile, 
a tiny mind infantile
and Boozoo’s coming apart at the seams.

When kindness is seen as a bore
All you’ll find is flaw after flaw
Then your just desserts
Will come in short skirts
While your wife gets the house and much more!

 



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Mars And Venus

On Mars it's a man you will see.
On Venus a lady will be.
     But what's so amazing,
     Will make all your heads ring.
They both get together with glee!


Details | Limerick | |

Naked to Bare

My girl loves to lie in the nude
For one thing she sure ain't a prude
She's so naked to bare
And just doesn't care
But all the other guys eyes are so glued










http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-5.php


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A Desperate Dilemma

I dingle the dongle with Dan and ningle another with Nan. But what should I do, when courting sweet Sue? I hope to get hitched, if I can. No more do I dingle with Dan, nor nangle a ningle with Nan. So may I meet you and talk it all through, since Sue’s on a jet – to Japan! ~
For Nathan's 'Alliteration' Competition.


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The Indian Giver Love Bandit

He promised to love me forever
Then again he was just being clever
He took back his love
So I gave him a shove
Headfirst in cow dung-my endeavor!





** for Indian Giver contest
  sponsored by(Destroyer ((Poet


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Hickey Dickey

I knew of a guy called Dickey
Whose life became rather tricky
When he kissed the girls
They left pretty burls
Never showing us his hidden hickeys


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My Sweet All Sour

" I am sorry!" as I told you before.
You keep saying that I must do more.
Should I break down and cry?
Should I curl up and die?
Either way- you still walk out the door.


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Chimp Jim and Dandy

Once me and my chimp friend bald Jim
flew through a forest limb to limb
his opposable thumb
got caught in my ho-hum
thank God old Jim’s not real prim.

My name is Miss Fine and Dandy
Bald Jim often brings me candy
a banana toffee
always does it for me
and him, since he's oh so randy.


Details | Limerick | |

Message to My X

I fell in love at thirteen
You might say I was quite green
I held his hand tight
He was out of sight
But now he’s being so mean!

At camp, spent days in a tent
His pride had taken a dent
We made up just fine
That sweet boy of mine
But now he seems so hell bent.

He needs some joy in his life
And though he has a great wife
A friend’s always nice
To add some more spice
But he’s afraid of the strife.

I’d shower him with such joy
But he's a silly old boy
He won’t come to play
He must have his way
My heart he’s used like a toy!

“My dear, why can’t you be nice?
Before you end it- think twice
Between you and me  
Let’s make harmony
You’ve made me pay a high price!


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Full Circle

Just out of college, we would yearn for a touch
Sleeping together cuddled on the couch
Those were the days!
Of pre-wedding bouquets
Now I am told to go sleep alone on the couch


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Loose Louise

There was a young man in a pickle
His girlfriend Louise was quite fickle
When the test came out blue
She told him it's not you
With others I played slap and tickle





* for Deborah Guzzi's  Limerick contest


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'Ouch'

   


A man found himself in a pickle
When his girlfriend found he was fickle
He said "won't you stay"
She said "there's no way"
As she took his head off with a sickle.







Josette Key    2010


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Sick Trick

You complained, “Don’t come over today -
My throat’s sore, I’m tired, and achy.”
So why are you nude,
In bed with some dude?
If you’re going to lie, pull down the shades!


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Values


Sensitivity's what gals hold dear 
in guys.  High on their lists: his career.  
What is it for us'll 
make us want to nuzzle?  
High skirts, low blouses, hot lovin', cold beer.