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Limerick Food Poems | Limerick Poems About Food

These Limerick Food poems are examples of Limerick poems about Food. These are the best examples of Limerick Food poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Limerick | |

Pumpkin Cake

There once was a girl from Arizona
Who could only fit in a kimona
She vowed to lose some weight
But loved all kinds of cake
Even drawn by pumpkin cake's aroma  

She vowed that she would be stronger
Would wear kimonos no longer
With cotton up her nose
From the table arose
Now in leggins she does saunter


Sponsor: Gwendolin R.
Contest:A Limerick In My Pocket


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Comfort Food

Comfort food is a riddle,
Makes one soft in the middle
No matter how hard I try ,
When I smell food fry.
I drool a little spittle.

They say comfort food is in your head,
Unless you eat it in bed,
Then without any warning ,
You’ll wake in the morning,
With food in your sheets instead.

Some say they take ex-lax,
To help their bellies relax,
But if you do ,
Best head for the loo,
Before you leave some tracks.

So much for the comfort food story,
It’s obviously lacking in glory,
But if it succeeds,
In meeting your needs,
Let me burp it out .."I’m sorry".


Details | Limerick | |

Pies

He phoned the village bakery
And ordered a delivery
Loads and loads of tasty pies
Ate them all but at a price
He spent the night in misery.


------------------------------------
Contest:  Plentitude of Pies
Sponsor: Sheri Fresonke Harper


Details | Limerick | |

Neapolitan


Block of Neapolitan Ice Cream; 
to my diet, a scream in a dream.  
Chocolate, strawberry
and vanilla; very 
delicious.  Then I bust out a seam.  


Details | Limerick | |

GREEN SLEEVES

Jack Daniels could grow very mellow;
They called him a jolly, good fellow.
But, strange as it seems,
The good fellow turned green,
When he fell in a tub of lime Jell-o.


Details | Limerick | |

Green Beans

There once was a lad who loved beans,
But only the ones that were green.
For breakfast, dinner and lunch,
Even for snacks and brunch,
All he wanted to eat were green beans.

He planted a garden of his own,
And green bean seeds were all that were sown.
Row upon row of beans grew,
Much more than a few,
And he picked them when they were done growin'.

Once picked he would snap them all up,
And measure them out by the cup.
He cooked some with a ham,
Turned others into jam,
Then invited his friends to come sup.

Now, his friends thought him a mite queer.
His diet of green beans caused some fear.
If green beans were all he ate,
What would be his fate?
'Cause he's starting to look green 'round the ears.


2/1/13
for Isaiah Zerbst's Irish contest.


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Peanut Butter Sandwich

Extra nutty and thick
A treat with a positive stick
Why am I such a fool?
These dentures I'm bound to lose!
A cup of milk, please make it quick!


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I'm Nuts About Cheerios Honey Nuts

Cheerios Honey Nuts will grace my bowl

   Their scrumptious flavor I shall e'er extol

      No bacon and eggs for moi

         They are so humdrum and blah

            Honey Nuts set my day on cruise control

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 8 in PD's "(LIMERICK) Your Favorite Cereal Contest" - October 2011


Details | Limerick | |

WHAT A DILLY


   Oh, how I do love pickles

   Especially those long, slim icicles

   Whether Dill or Sweet Gherkin
   
   From its jar I am jerkin'

   Because as it goes down ~ it Tickles!


Details | Limerick | |

Pickles And Tickles FAST Food.

We cook it ! Feel your tonsils tingle!
Add mayonnaise, lettuce, a pickle.
Lost both tonsils at ten
so can I ask you when
my change comes to more than a nickle?


Details | Limerick | |

For the love of food

A girl found herself being wooed,
By a variety of wonderful food,
She became so excited,
And extremely delighted,
So ran around all in the nude.


Details | Limerick | |

I Love Ice Cream

Ice cream is a delicious delight,
I eat it most every night.
That's probably why,
My weight is so high,
But I won't stop eating one bite.



7/15/13


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Garage Sale

1221 Boiling Weather Drive
First customer gets a free beehive
With purchase ten bones or more
Food, drinks, desserts galore
Porcelain hitchhiker needs a ride


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Pete's Sweet Death

Let me tell you about a guy Pete. If it’s true that we are what we eat, he would just have to be loved by everybody because he would be something sweet! On sweets Pete could never get full, so he’d eat all his cakes and pies whole! With each passing year his widening rear more resembled a large jelly roll. With gusto Pete daily transgressed, chowing down on desserts he liked best, never giving one thought to the things that he ought - like that thing going wrong in his chest. . . . It occurred after Pete had dug in to some pastries, his favorite sin. In his chair Pete had plopped when his heart simply stopped - But his jelly smeared mouth wore a grin!
For the "Die A 'Fun' Death Contest Poetry Contest" hosted by Natalie the Rogue Rhymer


Details | Limerick | |

PASTA, PASTA, EVERYWHERE

Oh, vermicelli, rigatoni!
Lost on a sea of minestrone. 
The sea beneath my feet,
And nothing else to eat,                     
I live on cheese and macaroni.


Details | Limerick | |

Eating out

Loud speech in restaurants is crude
Why are the obnoxious so rude?
Their noise should be banned
This is not a food stand
But a place we pay for the mood

Author's note:  My wife and I went out for dinner with friends last night.  That was the inspiration for the limerick above.  However, this is also an allegory for what is wrong in today's world.  There is a critical shortage of consideration for others.


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Kashi Strawberry Field

.

                                     There once was a great cereal Kashi
                                        Enjoyable for it is not squashy
                                      It's so much better than just bran
                                    That looks and taste like plain ol' tan
                                   Much more delightful than simple dashi


Sponsor: Poet Destroyer~A
Contest:(Limerick)Your Favorite Cereal
*Note
Click on
"About This Poem"


Details | Limerick | |

Watch Your Diet, Santa

On his annual flight about the earth,

   Santa continues to expand his girth!

      'Tis due to cookies and milk,

         And other treats of that ilk,

            That he samples from Botswana to Perth!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved


Details | Limerick | |

Fly in the Pie

Fly in the Pie
Dr. James E. Martin
©May, 2013

He bit into his hot pie
And discovered half of a fly.
He tried to be brave,
And his reputation save,
But all he could do was cry.


Details | Limerick | |

Photoshop -N- Produce

My new fridge has a tv in door
It starts flashing my pictures galore
“I’m not that fat…now stop”
Dumb fridge used Photoshop!
Now my knuckles are swollen and sore


Details | Limerick | |

Now What Do You Want On Your Pizza

I ordered a large pizza pie
What do you want on it asked guy
His question a pearl
Set my mind awhirl
A sexy young girl answered I


Details | Limerick | |

A FISHERMAN'S DOUBT

From a low, wind-swept bridge almost color beige,
I toss my fishing cane made in Anchorage,
hoping to catch some fish soon...
as I scorch in the hot noon;
if I failed again, it would increase my rage!


Details | Limerick | |

A Dog And A Cat And A Flea

A dog and a cat and a flea,
All sat down to some tea,
They all ate some ham,
With some bread and some jam,
And were all as content as can be.


Details | Limerick | |

The Sugar Shack Is Closing

I adore sweets and that's just pathetic
cos' for ten years I've been diabetic.
When that pie rolls around 
or the muffins are crowned
my desire for them grows quite kinetic.

There are wrappers hidden under the bed
and there's leftover banana bread.
Every year I vow
to stop eating somehow.
If I keep this up I could be dead!

So I'll ring out the old-start anew.
I can do it if I think it through.
Throw the sugar away
and start over today.
Eating rabbit food's what I'll now do!


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The Sound of the Fiber

Although they called me a Flake with some Trix

I say " Cheerio(s) !" -  with my puckered lips

Grabbed my golden spoon

Jumped in a balloon

Kellogg's and I fly  to eat some Mueslix...



for Poet Destroyer's Contest "Your Favorite Cereal"


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Losing weight

Solving the weight problem

Most folk say they can’t lose weight
But me I well might this debate
Eat much less 
Walk much more
Then most will lose the weight for sure.


Details | Limerick | |

Fruit Loops Junkie

I’m a genuine Fruit Loops junkie
The sweet flavor gets me feelin’ spunky
Healthy options are there
I won’t eat them, I swear
I’d rather be a little bit chunky!


Details | Limerick | |

Sounded Good At The Time





In the New Year I resolved to lose weight 
I thought I'd start by using a small plate
But with a big sigh
I piled it up high
Dang, once more the idea not so great...


For the New Years Resolution contest.


Details | Limerick | |

Obese Mackian

There once was a man from Mac,
who was loving, but oh so fat.
When he ate so much,
he fell off his crutch,
he found that his food didn't love back!



NOTE: This was actually the first limerick I ever wrote. Not a favorite, but I still enjoy it... I like how with the limerick I have a great excuse to come up with complete non-sense. Like a fictional town named Mac who's inhabitants are called "Mackians".


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Nutty for Grape-Nuts

For breakfast or with Sunday brunch, there’s a cereal I like a bunch. But to quietly eat, one can’t be too discreet munching nuggets that have a BIG crunch. It’s Grape-Nuts! They fill up your gut with barley and wheat goodness, but do not be too miffed if through them you sift and find not ONE grape or one nut! Its nutritional value is high, but I pile it up to the sky with sugar or honey. I guess I’m just funny, even sweetening my Cocoa Puffs! (sigh)
For PD's (LIMERICK) your Favorite Cereal Poetry Contest


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Slick Limerick

.
There once was a poet named Sara
Who did Tommy a great favor
She cooked him some good lunch
He ate a great big bunch
Now food he no longer savors

In honor of Destroyer A Poet~
Contest: "Write a limerick using your poetry soup name."


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Spicy Diet

The Tex-Mex festival was bountiful
But it scratched my innards, much like steel wool

     When the cramps began
     Oh, how fast I ran

My impersonation of Old Faithful


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Maniac Jack

Fatty Jack
Is a maniac.
He ate a turd
From a sick bird.
That’s a sad fact.


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My Favourite Dish

Currently my favourite dish
is not mutton,chicken or fish
a soup of poetry
it's delicious, cost free
and I'm tasting  it with great relish.


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No Farting Allowed

There was a man named Fred Who liked eating baked beans in bed One day when he farted He and his wife parted 'Well it's quicker than divorce' Said Fred.


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A Handful of Wheat

To sing a song charming and sweet what I need is handful of wheat, guess who am I love that blue sky not in the Twitter still can tweet! ========================== Placement:9th; (October 2011) Contest:Cereal Limerick Sponsor:Irma Linda


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Flan

There once was a woman
Whose cupboards were bare
But had lots of chickens
And eggs everywhere
When the tribes cried out
"There's no bread for each clan"
She chided and retorted
"Then let them eat flan"


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A day in the near future

What dark force wears the devil’s mark (666) 
And bites those thrown off “Noah’s Ark”?
Dragging sweets through the mud
While chomping for blood...
A bully is like a white shark*

*Only white sharks have better table manners, and so in the tradition of Emily Post—the innocent eventually rise up and seek justice—and use knives (and forks and spoons)! 

This poem was inspired by Laura Breidenthal's recent poem entitled "666".


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Ode to Pepsi



My addiction to Pepsi is a curse It's bad for my body and for my purse Limit is one per day But I have feet of clay I love the stuff..for better or for worse
for the Beverage contest...glug Barbara Gorelick 10/27/11


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Meatloaf

On the mundane meatloaf I must opine

   'Tis an all time favorite grub o' mine

      With smashed pertaters

         And fresh termaters

            Topped off with a two dollar jug o' wine

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Limerick | |

Once Bitten Twice Shy!

There once was a lion so dread
His trainer must keep him well fed
For if this bad lion
Got hungry for Brian
Old Brian might just end up dead!

Ole Leo the lion acclaimed
Like to play the “I’m so sweet” game
Slow Brian was lulled
And his arm it was culled
Now, the zoo’s out a lion it seems! 
 


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Who Knew-Peru

There once was a flawed broad named Maude
who wished to spend Christmas abroad
she ate Christmas dinner
with penniless sinners
for that was all Maude could afford.

Well ole Maude brought them black tea from China
and chocolate cakes from a diner
they ate guinea pig
and many a fig
while Maude poured them wine from Carolina.

Yes you've guessed it, I see that you knew
in Peru they eat Guinea Pigs in stew 
they wear colorful hats
and watch out for black bats
Maude's dinner will be in Cusco, Peru


Date:12/15/12


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Where's The Beef

A leprechaun went to the pub
He asked for corned-beef in his sub
The corned-beef had mold
'Till he showed them some gold
They gave him free beer and fresh grub!



_____________________
For Andrea
2/13/14


Details | Limerick | |

If You Insist

I ran into the room, said, "Do I smell bacon?",
but couldn't decipher the smirk Jim was making.
"Sure, if that's what you wanna call it!
Hey, why not stuff your gullet?",
and like a true American I was taken.


Details | Limerick | |

life of pie

Within great moments of leisure
Pie is a measure of treasure
Just have a small slice
Of that sugar and spice
And swallow bites of sheer pleasure


Authors note:  The crust must be made from scratch.  When the flour coated bits of fat are the size of peas--stop mixing!


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Spam

Computer spam I really do abhor

   But tinned Spam I have an appetite for

      I liked it in the Army

         And never did it harm me

            And it helped to win the Second World War

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Limerick | |

A Ghoulish Meal

It is kind of ghoulish, kind of funky,
To cook and eat a darn monkey.
It is not half bad if you like goat meat.
I would suggest you try the legs and forego the feet.
You can’t call it lean meat because it’s somewhat chunky. 


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a little 'white' lie, wink wink

With my white pumpkin I’m going to bake 
A pumpkin pie and say it’s cheesecake
It’s “vanilla bean”
Since it’s white like cheese -
If only they’ll take the bait plate!


Unsuspecting the pumpkin inside -
I tap tap my foot, just take a bite!
With “cake” in their mouths
Their taste buds abound!
Eyebrows rising in shocked surprise! 


11/8/11
Received 4th place in "What No Orange Pumpkin" contest


Details | Limerick | |

Cheerios to Go

Constipation as we all too well know

Disrupts everybody’s natural flow

     I welcome the Cheerios

     When the tummy bulging grows

Shout out to the toilet, “Look out below!”



*For Poet Destroyer’s Favorite Cereal Contest
by Carolyn Devonshire


Details | Limerick | |

It's All The Same


The process of making fine wine
Starts with the ripe grape on the vine
The wine maker plays
For long endless days
Trying for a product sublime

Now wine can be bought in a jug
Or a box with a plastic plug
Just weeks to table
But it's still able
To quickly put ass on the rug


6/20/ll

The Bottle of Wine contest


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SWOONING OVER A FRUITY RAINBOW

‘          ‘’’’         ‘’’          ‘      '



this lusty breakfast I have for you

is creamier than my man’s smooch chew

        bowls  of gooey Fruit Loops

        gobbled with nutty scoops...

God, my K-mart cereal hunt is due!





©

---------

PD’s Cereal Limerick
By: nette onclaud






©

PD’s Cereal Limerick
By: nette onclaud


Details | Limerick | |

Two-Fifty-Four

Two-Fifty-Four
©2012 C. Brent Cloyd

I bought a new scale at the Wal-Mart store.
Made it secure and level on the floor.
I took a breath, then stepped on.
The digits I saw made me moan.
Surely, I do not weigh two-fifty-four!

Let’s balance the scale, then I’ll try once more.
Adjusted proper, they’ll give the right score.
This time the scales will behave.
I stepped on, tried to be brave.
But with a grin they said “two-fifty-four”.

I would like to throw these scales out the door.
Wish they were lying, but I can’t ignore. 
I’ve gobbled many things sweet
And chewed on too much red meat.
My expanding poundage is “two-fifty-four”.

My belly is huge, my chin is galore.
Need to lose it, but process is a chore.
Need diet low in fat and starch.
So my stomach will not arch.
Hope to be smaller than “two-fifty-four”.

Would a brisk walk cause my health to restore?
Would losing blubber help me not to snore?
Let’s get started. Soon I say!
Well - after the holiday!
Cause my clothes don’t fit at “two-fifty-four”.














Details | Limerick | |

Pink Pork chop Bill

There once was a pink, pig named Bill,
who climbed up a big, big hill.
He climbed to the top
not to be pork chop,
but his big owner found him still.


Details | Limerick | |

Bull o ney!

I was travelin’ one day in Monroe
when I met a fair maid with a hoe.
Her garden was full.
Then in came the bull
so, she thought why not steak to go!

Her cupboard was bare, no meat was there!
And she liked her kabobs med’um rare…
She thought of baloney
but then, naw, that’s phony....
and she booked for that bull on a tear!

*Please read Constance’s (A Rambling Poet’s) Limerick Baloney!

Line 1 9
Line 2 9
Line 3 5
Line 4 5
Line 5 9

Line 1 9
Line 2 9
Line 3 6
Line 4 6
Line 5 9



  


Details | Limerick | |

Noodle Man

I knew a man who always ate noodles
He could not even draw a thin doodle
He drank plenty of Kokanee beer
Had a weird sense of humorous cheer
Always came to late with his poodle.

Written: Oct. 11,2014
Eve T.M.Carter


Details | Limerick | |

FOOD FOR LIFE


                    We two Indians went to the hotel Storartad Sweden
                   And ate lots of Munkers , Æbleskiver and Poffertjespan
                      Coming back home we landed well on a chapatti
                           Kuzhi paniyaram Daal Sabji Bhaji and Roti
                And a Japanese Takoyaki   all they are love cuisines man


Details | Limerick | |

Obesity


Those candies hiding in your valise
say your diet long since lost its lease.  
So, chew on those Reeses; 
chomp whatever pleases.  
You've got more that I can love obese.


Details | Limerick | |

Let Me Be Frank

I bailed my honest friend out of the tank
Who dressed up as a hotdog for a prank
It’s not a misdemeanor
To dress up as a wiener
I see no harm in trying to be frank


Details | Limerick | |

Limerick Fare

The way to cook up a good Limerick
Is to add the right words, then simmer it
But if it begets raunch
That’s unfit for your paunch
Then I wouldn’t touch it for dinner, ick!


         -and for dessert-


My gal loves to make Limerick-sicles
On very hot days to be whimsical
But the more we licked
The hotter it git
And often it’d even get critical.


Details | Limerick | |

Plight of the Leftover Christmas Cookies

Cookies must not go to waste
Specially those of great taste
So right passed my lips
And straight to my hips
I WILL let them go to WAIST

I so love to munch and munch
They’re brittle now with a crunch
The flavors- still great
But don’t satiate
They’re great with my office lunch

My body keeps them in store
Why can’t I get through the door?
Should have thrown them out
Now I am more “stout”
Ok, perhaps just one more?

Eileen Manassian Ghali


Details | Limerick | |

A Lady Named Vickie

There once was a lady named Vickie,
Whose eating habits were quite picky.
She preferred her sweet treats,
To vegetables and meats,
Saying, "Healthy foods are just too icky!"

11/4/13
(based on a true story)


Details | Limerick | |

Crocodile Kentucky

The skin is the best part of a nugget
Croc Kentucky now cooling in bucket
   It tastes like chicken stew
   Chase it down with home brew
I should worry about my weight?  F(orget) ‘t!

___________________________________________________________________
Author's Notes:
I used slant rhymes “nugget” & “bucket” as there is no perfect rhyme for “bucket” - and in true Limerick style, it "rhymes" with the end of line 5 ;-)

BTW Crocodile meat tastes like chicken - I have eaten it :-)

In anapest trimeter:  **/**/**/ = lines 1, 2 & 5 (I added an additional feminine syllable at the end of the lines)
                     **/**/ = lines 3 & 4
___________________________________________________________________


Details | Limerick | |

I'm Cuckoo For Coco Puffs

<                      once was an  cuckoo bird named Sonny
                         tagging along gramps as first  gunny
                               shooting up cereal bowls
                     with dark puffs @@@ nice ~ and ~ slow
                            Oh how trix rabbit did so runny  






Entry For Poets Destroyer 's
Your Favorite Cereal Limerick
GL All                                  


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Jock with his Cock

There was once a Scotsman called Jock Who was always stroking his cock But when the clock struck ten He then turned to his hen The egg basket is now restocked . 05/07/2014


Details | Limerick | |

Camomile tea V beer

I once tried some camomile tea,
It was bland and tasted like pee.
‘Twas lapped up by the dog,
Who then snored like a hog.
From then on, was just beer for me.

Jack Horne for Francine's Beverage contest, 29th October


Details | Limerick | |

Bart

There was an old man on a cart,
Acquaintances knew him as Bart,
As he only ate beans,
He inflated his jeans,
And smelt of a permanent fart…

Inspired by She’s Like the Wind (which I misheard as She’s Got the Wind, lol)
For Giorgio’s A Song Inspires a Poem contest


Details | Limerick | |

Lake Notashebun


I can fish on Lake Notashebun 
in September for pike: 'Great Northern.'  
Known as 'Esox lucius,' 
it's so delicious 
breaded and deep fried lakeside; that's heaven.


Details | Limerick | |

Sweet n' Salty

Pecan, pumpkin, apple or key lime;
I save room for dessert every time.
To really make me swoon,
and bark out at the moon
Salted caramel cheesecake is sublime!


Details | Limerick | |

All Bran

I once bought a box of All Bran,
But I tipped it down the loo pan.
It was destined for there,
So I didn’t much care,
And I cut out the middle man.


Details | Limerick | |

Pear Shaped

This darn belly fat came out of nowhere I swear that yesterday it wasn't there I'm so freaking mad Need a doughnut bad Can't stand that I look like a fricken pear...
Show Me The Funny contest...


Details | Limerick | |

Cuckoo For Cocoa Puffs

                                              I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs
                                                I never can get enough
                                             Every bite tastes like cocoa
                                                 For chocolate I'm loco
                                             Just fill me up with the stuff.




Kim Merryman
9/29/2011 For P.D.'s Limerick, Favorite Breakfast cereal contest.


Details | Limerick | |

Magic Pills

Once a man named Bill,
Was eating unnecessary pills.
But what he didn't know was,
He was standing in a pool of sauce.
So......., cheers to the magic pills!


Details | Limerick | |

Veggie Tray

My veggie tray's selection was unique.
'Twas still offered to a jittery sheikh
Who hopped from foot to foot,
Ignoring the ginger root,
Took an onion, saying, "Gotta take a leek!"

He ran off to the loo speedily.
Later on, he returned back to me.
Assessed my tray and proceeded
To eat a pod that was seeded.
I asked him, "Tell me sir, how was your pea?"

We laughed, and guffawed, and made a fuss
At the playful double entendre between us.
He said with a wink,
"I'd hate to think
What you'd say if I had the asparagus!"


Details | Limerick | |

Happy Birthday Fat Man

In the many long years since your birth
You've made twenty eight laps with the earth
In that time you've taken
Your fair share of bacon
And thus greatly increased in your girth


Details | Limerick | |

Smug Mug

Chadsworth Cabot was a proud member of high society,
It was his birthright, can’t you ignorant dolts see.
He pranced around on fancy polo horses,
Played golf at only the very finest courses
And stuffed his smug mug with dang crumpets and tea.


Details | Limerick | |

THE CHUBBY KID

Ah, who dares to call him a big bear,
when he eats a chocolate eclair?
He drops it on his red shoes,
to hear the pigeon's coos...
then smears it all over his brown hair.


Details | Limerick | |

Dinner

Yeah! Dinner at my home is set at nine
Please don't come, mum would freak, and dad would whine
Chicken and chips
My lil bro weeps
And mum says 'dude get him a glass of wine'


Details | Limerick | |

Breakfast lethal

The bodies were rolled in whole grains
And corn flakes found in the remains
With milk underfoot
The cops now look to put
The cereal killer in chains


Details | Limerick | |

Cap'n Crunch, Cereal Filler

When I was single and living alone
Cereal curbed my tummy’s moans
Eating Cap'n Crunch
Breakfast, dinner, and lunch
Was a cooking hookey I honed!


10/4/11
Received 2nd place in "Cereal Limerick" contest


Details | Limerick | |

Sweet and Salty - for contest

There once was a king who would eat
Exclusively things that were sweet.
	His chefs were at fault
	If he tasted salt
So their spicings were very discreet.

On the other hand, there was his queen,
Who favored a sav’ry cuisine.
	She liked her food salty
	Or dishes were faulty;
The cooks were betwixt and between!


for Andrea's "Sweet and Salty" contest


Details | Limerick | |

A BOWL OF LUCKY CHARMS

Mom, give me a bowl of Lucky Charms,
I'll grow as you raise my arms...
see a taller me,
or much sillier me.
Mom, get me more of those Lucky Charms!


Details | Limerick | |

Crackers And Cheese

(Limerick)


There was an old man who loved crackers.
But got beat up by lots of attackers.
He went to his house
And talked to his mouse
Who said " Go, bring me more cheese and crack'rs!


Dorian Petersen Potter
aka ladydp2000
Copyright@2014


September 8, 2014


Details | Limerick | |

The salty navigator

They are steered like rudders on ships
Their port lies between my two lips
My day is a drag
Lest my mouth snags a bag
Of Doritos Nacho Cheese Chips


Details | Limerick | |

All Bran to the Rescue


If becoming "regular " is your goal Pour some All Bran in your cereal bowl It does taste just awful Rather have a waffle But not to much or you may lose "control"
for the my Favorite Cereal Contest


Details | Limerick | |

My Daughter

My daughter her name is Kim
For Indian curry often has a whim
She farts like firing a rifle
They smell more than just a trifle
As for her husband I’m sorry for him


Details | Limerick | |

Pay the Piper

She sat on her butt for a year 
Eating cookies, pretzels and beer
Now  looked at the scale
And started to wail
God, look at the size of my rear 



for Carolyn's contest
Sadly, a true story


Details | Limerick | |

HOW DOES THE PIE FLY

It was perfect, I cannot lie,
For you I made the perfect pie,
When the cream did stop,
A cherry on top,
At the carnival it did fly!


For Contest: ...pie
Date: October 9, 2014


Details | Limerick | |

My Favorite Cereal

Have you tried the Kix much, much, better than Trix When it hits milk, smoother than Silk You'll know where I get my fix
-Robert Dixon


Details | Limerick | |

Pass the Peanuts Please

Pass the Peanuts Please

Pass the peanuts please
But remember not to sneeze
Please pass the root-beer
And remember to yell cheer
Oh ya! And remember life’s a breeze.

Written: Nov. 1, 2014
Eve T. M. Carter 




Details | Limerick | |

The Legend of Smelly Nelly

Smelly Nelly was quite a charming girl,
She wore her hair in braids instead of curls,
Bathing several times per day in the Jewish way,
Yet many scoffed and sniffed,
exclaiming she smelt like manure in hay,
Nelly used expensive oils and attars,
some came from lands very far,
Her raiments were made of the finest silks
but people still told her she smelt
like days old milk,
They shunned and booed her,
talking behind her back,
hoping and praying she would have a heart attack,
The gripe they harbored had nothing to do with
Nelly's smell, it was because her family owned
several oil wells,
Neverthelss, she brought her own lunch which made
her naysayers feel as if they were incompetent bunches,
The farce of living as the Joneses do, never appealed to
Nelly because she knew the value of a dollar,
So while folks snickered and stared, corking their noses
causing her despair,
She sat and ate her snicker doodle sandwiches with her
little pinky waving in the air,
Smelly Nelly they chanted everyday, but she shrugged
her shoulders and continued on her merry way,
Cartier, Chanel and Youth Dew were always in her backpack,
but she knew it was hard for critics to understand her modest lifestyle,
They all rumoured that she lacked!
Afterall, she rather "enjoyed" their ignorance,
watching them treat her as if she were a rotten as mere happenstance,
But Nelly soon conquered her critics by blossoming into a
lovely swan, forgetting about the negativity, and meanness,
leaving the penny section to stew in their own mess......


Details | Limerick | |

who us

Who Us?

If we smile real cute they won’t know it’s us
Who stole all the bananas off the bus
Quick throw the peels
Under the wheels
And pretend that nothing is up!


10/02/11

Received 5th plcae in "limericks hilarious" contest


Details | Limerick | |

Salty Soled Souls

There once was a picky young troll,
Who fussed over his supper bowl.
He loved human meat,
But disliked the feet
That came off of salty soled souls.

Until one day, he was cajoled
By an ogre out on a stroll.
Who said, “With some heat,
Those feet become sweet.”
Thus our troll was sold on soul’s soles.


For sweet and salty contest


Details | Limerick | |

The Butcher

(Limerick)


The butcher wastes no scrap of meat
He counts every part that  he meets.
Then turns it around
And right on the ground.
Then hits it hard and wraps it on wheat!


Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladp2000
Copyright@2014


September, 13, 2014


Details | Limerick | |

PIE

The answer to life's problems
Is in front of your face 
It is pie indeed
Make no mistake

Pies of all sizes
Take your place
Delightful to gaze upon
If even not so great

How can you mess up
Something in a round plate?

Meringue or not
They are all so yummy
Just thinking about them 
In your tummy

The thought alone is 
Oh so yummy!

For now I will retreat
To something not so grand 
But soon I will rejoice
With pie in hand


Details | Limerick | |

FRAGILE BUT LABORIOUS

All bees are fragile, remakable insects
we do fear them for their painful stingers;
they're terribly noisy,     
although they make honey!
O these small insects sweeten our palates!


Details | Limerick | |

Fetish That's Rad

          Fetish That’s Rad (or salad anyone?) 

There once was a girl with a fetish
It caused her to turn rather reddish 
Her bottom she would feed
With carrots if you please
But understand she prefers radish  



                                                                    5/15/2014
                                                                    Bawdy, Miss Clawdy poetry contest


Details | Limerick | |

OOPS (Limerick)

There once was a girl named Shelly 
Her favorite food was jelly
One day she over indulged
Until her tummy just bulged
She had put too much in her belly


Details | Limerick | |

Always A Widow

Here squats a Black Widow spider,
who sups a swig of sweet cider.
     He spies her there,
     scoots close to share
and sips the hot brew beside 'er.

She darts with aim to devour,
her size gives her lethal power.
     She fakes a hug,
     then snags him snug;
true bliss defines his last hour.

For some who deceive are gifted
to mask when power is shifted.
     The prey's surprise—
      he's soon incised—
his parts all broken and sifted.



Details | Limerick | |

The know it all poet - Make me laugh contest

Harry Horsman he is a poet 
Ask him anything, will know it 
Asked what is a Doditsu 
Said a Japanese bean stew 
Eat with care bowels will blow it 


Details | Limerick | |

LIVER AND ONIONS

LIVER AND ONIONS I confess, I have a fav'rite dinner: With liver 'n onions I'm a sinner. Add mashed potatoes and gravy, I would sign up with the navy, And hit the high seas just to have dinner. © ELR 2013


Details | Limerick | |

A REWARDING LABOR

My juicy grapes are so ripe, plump and white,
they have soaked up most of the summer's sun...
will they make the tastiest wine?
Sparkling wine for gests' delight...
while I pull the air-tight cork with true might!


Entered in Francine Robert's contest,
" Bottle Of Wine "
June 23, 2001


Details | Limerick | |

The Wine Taster

A little taste of wine so many kinds
One that taste like rotten grapes, apples, brines
Some so strong spit_rinse
Need to get rid of that quince
Worst one reminded me of shoe shines

Written:June 22, 2011
Day after longest day of year
Contest:"Bottle of Wine, (fruit of the vine, when..)"
Sponsor:Francine Roberts


Details | Limerick | |

Pie Chart Chaos

When Jill was asked to create a “Pie Chart”
She believed her teacher meant a la carte
     Using a Lego set
     Jill felt her goal was met
When she finished, there was not one spare part

Her project resembled a Ferris Wheel
Huge peach pie in the center of the reel
     And her passenger carts
     Were scrumptious cherry tarts
But Jill’s effort had an Achilles’ heel

She took care bringing the pie wheel to class
Some oohs and ahs her project did amass
     But the wheel in motion
     Caused quite a commotion
Pies flew to faces with a forward pass

Kids didn’t mind as they ate the remains
But most of Jill’s friends had custard for brains
     A class pie fight ensued
     And Miss Bigbutt so shrewd
Gobbled crumbs citing eminent domain



*October 11, 2014






Details | Limerick | |

The Apple

The green of an apple is a forth coming blessing
With its confirmed ripeness our lips begin the pressing
But remember to address it for any worms
Less in thy mouth they wiggle and squirm
For like bleu cheese dressing the experience is quit depressing


Details | Limerick | |

The Cannibal Terror

This terror I now share with thee
Some cannibals had captured me
A dinner for clan
What worse could fate plan
We’re vegan a man said to me


Details | Limerick | |

He's In A Pickle

I gave my love a sour pickle
His eyeballs then started to trickle
Puckered up was his mouth
And his tongue had gone south
To see him so gave me a tickle!






**for Pickles &Tickles  limerick contest
sponsored by (Destroyer ((Poet


Details | Limerick | |

Big bird

There was a fat lady from Swaffham 
Who gave up on men, she was off ‘em
She sought comfort in sweets
Sickly sugary treats
Which she’d buy by the ton and then scoff ‘em


Details | Limerick | |

Frosted Flakes Tony says They're Great

Do you know the self-control that it takes,
To only eat one bowl of Frosted Flakes?
To eat the box is my goal,
So I’ll use a mixing bowl,
And pour on the milk like it comes in lakes.


Details | Limerick | |

Sweet and Salty

There once was a king who would eat
Exclusively things that were sweet.
	His chefs were at fault
	If he tasted salt
So their spicings were very discreet.

On the other hand, there was his queen,
Who favored a sav’ry cuisine.
	She liked her food salty
	Or dishes were faulty;
The cooks were betwixt and between!

On the day of their princely son’s birth,
She announced, “He’s the salt of the earth!”
	But the monarchs did meet
	And agreed he was sweet
So the kingdom rejoiced in their mirth.


Details | Limerick | |

Lady de leisure

There once lived a woman called Lady-de Leisure, who turned not to men, but food for 
pleasure.
She ate everything spicy and sticky and sweet, the poor lady could not even see her poor 
feet. From dusk until dawn, all she would do was eat, drink, break wind, burp belch and poo.
But one day whilst eating her thirty fifth pie, the lady burped loudly, keeled over and died.
The funeral had to be held outside, but people they came to say goodbye.
The coffin itself, you’ve never seen bigger. The bearers were three forklift trucks and a 
digger.
The hole in the ground was fourteen feet wide, and  even then the coffin scraped at the sides.
So if you are thinking about being a lady of leisure, look elsewhere than food solely for 
pleasure.


Details | Limerick | |

My Favorite Dish

Liver and onions make me smile,

But, others believe it is vile.

It's my favorite dish.

With tators, it's quite delish.

Unless you have the tastes of a child.



For the favorite dish contest.


Details | Limerick | |

Born Again Mary!

Chef Mary serves vegetable patties
cause she knows they don't have any Daddies!
She the vegan Queen
of the San Fran scene
for no meat does her store front carry!


Details | Limerick | |

My Favotite Dish


I once met a girl from Niagara   
who made a great pate de foi gras
with fatty goose liver
and truffles, a sliver; 
and a whole spoonful of Viagara.  



Entered in David Williams' contest, 
'My Favorite Dish' for February 12, 2012.


Details | Limerick | |

Java Love

I am a coffee hound to say the least.
Without my java I can be a beast.
Just love that steaming cup
that warms and picks me up.
And productivity is much increased!



written October 22nd,2011
by Deb Wilson
for contest "Pick a Beverage-Any Beverage"
sponsored by Francine Roberts


Details | Limerick | |

Cannible

"I shall be telling this with a sigh." Robert Frost served warm on a dish they can only wish surviving another day he will have to pay that horrible Hamilton Fish ~contest ~ EROTICA


Details | Limerick | |

Hey Waiter, There's A Fly In My Stew

There was once a finicky chap named Lou,

     Who espied a fly swimming in his stew!

          Said the waiter to the bloke,   

               "What a fantastic backstroke!

                    He won't eat much and will leave some for you!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved


Details | Limerick | |

Croissant

Since with butter its batter is laced,
Adding calories quickly embraced,
	Why would anyone want
	To scarf down a croissant?
(Which, to me, doesn’t have any taste!)


Details | Limerick | |

DEDICATION TO GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA

Mario had an urge for pizza,
he couldn't find any in Nizza;
flour, water and salt
he mixed looking South...
then screamed, " Hey, Lollobrigida! "


Details | Limerick | |

Boy Am I Hungry

Battle of the bulge
From greesy foods love to divulge
Over lips and through the gums
Love handles now do come
When will I learn not to indulge


Details | Limerick | |

Puffed Wheat

I have been running from store to store
Searching for cereal I adore.
Quaker’s puffed wheat
Favorite treat
But I cannot find it any more.


rec'd tenth place


Details | Limerick | |

Mad Cow Disease

I watch very intently, as each move is made
Who is in the sun and who is in the shade
From the California Cheese to the Midwest Plains
It is affecting their brains
A good burger needs all the fixins, hey Mom, don't  forget the cheese
But we don't want the Mad Cow Disease
Take Chester as an example
He wanted to handle matters himself, ended up getting trampled
Jane does exist, but her last name isn't Doe
But she is in love with John, that's why her face is aglow
Judy was down at a Saints game and ran on to the field to join the huddle 
claiming she was replacing Drew Breeze
This is only a few that have been taken over by the Mad Cow Disease
How many more people will be labotomized
This disease wears a brilliant disguise
Go ahead laugh if you must
Who will be laughing when the famous words are read, Ashes to Ashes, Dust to 
Dust
Let's pass this on to the illegal refugees
Then send them back where they came from and share their wealth of the Mad 
Cow Disease


Details | Limerick | |

Mixed Drink

Blackstrap molasses I drink every day.
I've learned it holds anemia at bay.
One tablespoon quick stirred up
with almond milk (a scant cup)
makes my red blood cells cheer. Hip hip hooray!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nancy Jones
October 30, 2011
for Francine Roberts' Pick a Beverage, any Beverage contest


Details | Limerick | |

Lean Times

Lean Times
When times are lean and mean I have to conserve
I rely on pocket change in reserve
Like pennies, dimes and quarters
Times like these I might loiter
Anything to fill my tank and preserve


Details | Limerick | |

Turkey feed

Now the turkeys are feeding like kings
And they flap round their high protein wings
Soon unknown to the dears
They will sit on their rears
And be roasted and stuffed, the poor things


Details | Limerick | |

An Old Fellow

(Limerick) 


There was an old fellow from Pinner 
Whose daughter ate lots of lunch and dinner. 
Then woke up one day 
Very obese by the way. 
And now she's so fat and not thinner! 


Dorian Petersen Potter 
aka ladydp2000 
copyright@2014 


September,1,2014 


Details | Limerick | |

My Meal and I

The meal I require tonight
Will satisfy my appetite
As she lies on the table
Oh boy am I able
To relish in her sweet delights

First her curvaceous curves
Enjoyable for any serve
Taken abreast
How my heart requests
So pert in tasteful observe

Her sweetness is sure to follow
Like a bear in honey I wallow
Then like a lion I roar
As I head back for more
Sugary just like a marshmallow

My love has a craving to share
For into my eyes she does stare
She says "Hun are you able"
It's your turn on the table
I have teeth so you better beware











http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-5.php


Details | Limerick | |

Quenched

	Quenched

Whenever I’m feeling quite blah,
I will not unwind at a spa.
	I pour a cold beer.
	My woes disappear;
And all I can utter is…..Aaaah!

			Ilene Bauer
			October 22, 2011

(for the "Pick a Beverage" contest)


Details | Limerick | |

Nitpicky Treat

Pickles in jars both sour and sweet,
Tickle, fancy of all you meet.
Different shapes to see.
This means nothing to me.
Fickle pickles tickle complete.


Details | Limerick | |

Lick Your Lips - Limerick

     Lick Your Lips - Limerick

An old man chronologically aging                        
Ate foods quite gastronomically raging                  
He digested word soups                                       
With phonetic sound groups                                 
Which left him alphabetically phrasing 


Created on 11/17/14 for -Limericks Clean and Clever – Poetry contest               


Details | Limerick | |

No Shame

This girl all day long could drink tea
though I spend half my time going pee
too much info, I'm sure
I may have the cure
No shame in diaper wearing for me


Details | Limerick | |

Frosted Flakes

I ate a whole box of Frosted Flakes
Oh what a mess that sugar makes
I'd do it again
but diabetes set in
Just smelling it still gives me the shakes

Mdailey    9/30/11


Details | Limerick | |

Butcher Cassidy and the Sunshine Juice

There once was a butcher named Cassidy,
Who had a tremendous capacity,
To drink orange-juice all day,
And most will say,
He was good at this talent you see

Each day by one or two,
His skin took on a tangerine hue
And his eyes turned to two yellowish orbs
Yet he drank more juice,
And there was no use
In trying to squeeze him some more

Butcher Cassidy lived that way,
Till his dying day
And he was buried in a Chinese grave yard...
For he had turned permanently yellow
This juice-addicted fellow
That's just what OJ can do

And come next spring
To surprise evryone
From pauper to king
From the graveyard
Nature did bring,
A grove of orange trees

Some say when they pass
the orange-juice aisle
And if they linger awhile,
And urge for ribs and juice
Will come their way
And nothing else will do
So watch your intake of juice
Before the orange demon is let loose
And your life will end in dismay.


Details | Limerick | |

THE WEDDING CAKE

It is an important cake that I had to bake with out a rake so that it would be 
real   It has a special filling that the groom himself requested and has not been 
tested  a flavor that is also a favorite of mine no matter where I dine even with fine 
punch  It must not even come close to being dropped nor even flipped 

  It is a family specialty both with and with out the decorations with not one 
splotch not one drop of scotch although my watch seems to have been some 
how misplacedplus every step retraced although perhaps it’s in the van with the 
pans of sandy ham  maybe even on the can of Pam- wherever it is I can not put 
down the cake to look

 My book when last seen was next to the cake which was nowhere near the 
hooks my watch may have been there too when I was using my decorating tools 
with out boos but wherever my watch happens to be I am grateful I have not run 
into any yellow bees  I hope I am not late regardless of the fee because I have to 
make a delivery even if for free

 Well whatever the time even if I only get a few dimes and limes this is a 
special occasion   so this better be the right destination regardless of 
instantaneous regeneration of plants with out procrastination or any kind of 
hesitation despite some close calls that would make it   resemble the leaning 
tower of Italy here comes the wedding cake!


Details | Limerick | |

Squirt

I'm dreaming of fantastic hurt
to my stomach which once was inert.
A cringe of the can,
the binge of the man
consumed by a beverage called Squirt.


Robert Dixon
10/29/2011
The "Pick a beverage, any beverage..." contest.


Details | Limerick | |

Pigs Unite

There once was a man named Ike 
Who smoked porks to everyone’s like
They were the best in town
Creating orders abound
Till all pigs decided to strike


Details | Limerick | |

SWEET NELLIE KELLY

There once was a couple named Kelly
Who called their young daughter, Sweet Nellie.
And why was she so sweet?
Because all she would eat
Was just peanut butter and jelly.


Details | Limerick | |

THE MISERY OF A COLD

For days I coughed hard and hurt my guts,
drank tea like Britons from china cups,
the virus never left,
this poor guy never slept...
did this bad cold come from unwashed mugs?


Details | Limerick | |

Mountain Nock--- Bawdy

There once was a gigantic mountain
That used to cave out on its molten
The last time Heir visits
Mountain Nock got digits
And walked on fauna’s realm to sustain


17/06/2014


Details | Limerick | |

PREDATORS AND INSECTS

Ever seen falcons and honey bees?
Falcons eat pigeons hiding in trees,
hunting them until they're full.
Honey bees work hard 'till Fall...
before any beehive freezes.


Details | Limerick | |

Preferences

There was a young fellow named Tony,
Who wouldn't eat his macaroni.
He hollered out, "Hey,
Take this slop food away.
Just bring me a stick of baloney."

Written; November 14, 2014


Details | Limerick | |

Ronald

Ronald was a young man so bold,
his father McDonald will mold.
He had bright red hair,
and french fries to share,
and that’s how the story was told.


Details | Limerick | |

Pig in the Poke.

“Pig in the Poke.”

There once was a pig that liked Cokes.
He usually partied; told jokes.
One day he woke up.
Drank mud from his cup.
Then, he choked; poor pig in the poke.


© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
January 30, 2010

Poetic form:  Limerick


Details | Limerick | |

IMITATION OF AN AGE

In the Middle Ages, people ate
food with wooden spoons of weird shape;
it may seem archaic
in ages less artistic...
an idea we still imitate.


Details | Limerick | |

Indian's favourite potato

Potato is cuisine is Indian's favourite.
Make many varieties and daily they eat.
Boiled, fried or in dosa.
Too love filled in samosa.
When on fast, consume one kg. at least.

They too like french fries and chips.
In many of vegetables, they do mix.
Not an issue for them, if takes;
their body, potato's shapes.
They are also not afraid of diabetes. 

(C) S. D. Tiwari

dosa, samosa = names of Indian dishes


Details | Limerick | |

PIGGED OUT

There once was a cave man named Morris,
Who lived in a cave in the forest.
He was undone one night
By his huge appetite:
He devoured an entire brontosaurus.           


Details | Limerick | |

Yours Is Yours

                                    In matters of paintings and food,

                               your taste and mine are just as good;

                                                        Picasso,

                                                        hot taco,

                                to each his own, to each his mood !