My favorite cousin named Marge
is almost as big as a barge.
So one would assume,
not knowing the groom,
the guy would most likely be large.
But he was a small man named Tim
“As thin as a broom” describes him.
While Marge would guffaw,
Tim would watch her with awe
and just smile for he was so prim!
When the preacher addressed him and said,
“You may now kiss the bride,” Tim turned red,
for their lips could not meet.
With high heels on her feet,
Marge stood towering over his head.
She leaned down while Tim stood on his toes,
but for being in such a strange pose,
Marge then came toppling down
crushing Tim neath her gown
while the whole church erupted in “Ohhhhh’s.”
All was well, and thereafter, we ate;
then we planned next to dance until late.
But none could foresee
the small tragedy
that had us all leaving by eight!
Marge had tossed off her heels for a glide
on the dance floor, but when they both tried
to dance, Tim got snagged
by that dang gown and dragged
as his bride was beginning to slide. . .
Now shoeless, poor Marge could not stop.
Toward a table with candles on top,
they slid, and the groom
then set fire to the room
by landing with a belly flop.
Poor Tim by the candles got lit,
and we were all having a fit,
for the fire got spread fast
till the Best Man at last
got us all wet extinguishing it!
Inspired by the title of the movie: My Big Fat Greek Wedding
& : Joann Grisetti's "My Cousin's Wedding" Poetry contest
Auntie Matilda is a dancing fool.
She took lessons at a discount dance school.
When she does the hippity hop,
even babies beg her to stop;
but Matilda’s dancing makes old men drool.
On the dance-floor they did a zigzag
But he was an ol’ scallywag:
- “If you feel something hard
- Pay no regard …
It’s just my colostomy-bag”
Juicy Lucy has a really big butt.
She dances nude down at the Rutting Hut.
Horny men stand in line
to kiss her huge behind.
Alcohol turns a man into a nut.
Oh voluptuous maid
of the Utah green
on your bio soup
page with a doggie
all the metrical
as his bark
maid, was our dance,
St. Patrick was the
host to provide in
for all those who
© 03-18-2014, G.
( Poetic license:
S'il vous plaît:
Patrick" in French.
syllable is the
ultimate one. )
no doudt get out
stop beening along
go to rome
fine where you belong
go dance prance
go to the beach run
lay in the sun
HAVE SOME FUN
Bobby met Sally in a conga line.
Sally was moving and looking fine.
Bobby asked Sally out on a date;
Although she was underage jailbait.
Male hormones put Bobby in a bind.
Rock and roll that's my play
Who wants to stay and sway
Don't care if you're footloose
Any music we'll dance and choose
Smiles; grooving fun that we'll display
Some men dance hoping for a romance
Some men dance keeping fit of their pants
but the dance most obscene
is the dance made to glean
from your clothes a mad horde of fire ants
For John and Carolyn's Bug contest
This Pole Dancer she was with me
All other men must pay her fee
Still I must confess
My family’s stress
But Polish dance lessons aren’t free
THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM FRANCE
ON THE STREET SHE WOULD SING AND DANCE
ONE DAY THERE WAS SUCH A HUSH
‘CAUSE SHE SHOWED A BIT OF TUSH
WHEN SHE RIPPED OUT THE SEAM OF HER PANTS
There was once a young dancer
Who was recovering from cancer
She wanted fame
but her leg was lame
So people called her a prancer.
I know it's really mean and sad but I had this as homework
and I honestly couldn't think of
rhyming words and than I just thought of this.
It’s Saturday Night Fever, “Staying Alive”
Do not dare do the jive near beehive
His white trousers so tight
Nothing can see the light
My natural drive giving a ‘high five’
Who remembers this movie and the dance moves? And that hair on Trevolta! Close to the beehive hairdos that the women sported a few decades ago....lol
Inspired by Karen Anglesey's "Jive in a Beehive"...
DOWNTOWN WHERE GIRLS DANCE ON POLES
FOR A PRICE THEY’LL BARE THEIR SOULS
THEY’LL SIT ON YOUR LAP
YOU’LL GO FAP FAP FAP
UNTIL YOU LOOSE YOUR CONTROL
Limerick : Once our Senorita from Sevilla – 12
Once our Senorita from Sevilla
Entered a dance contest in Bahia
Others danced the salsa
Rita dirty samba
Since Sevilla sells the new dance : Salsamba !*
• « Sal » in French means « dirty ».
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Limerick : Once Schuhmacher/Shoemaker from Brazilia
Once Schuhmacher/Shoemaker from Brazilia
Made a shoe shaped like the Ark of Noah
Birds and beasts of forests
Fought acarien* pests
Till toes itched: that’s how Man danced the Salsa!
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2014
Limerick: Once a back-pain Man from Japan
Once a back-pain Man from Japan
Who couldn’t even lift a can
Went to Geisha Palace
For much-needed solace:
Since then does Can-Can with Mama-San!
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2014
I met her south of the border in Durango,
She was hot and boy could she fandango!
She said to me at a glance
"Señor, would you like to dance?"
"No" I replied, "but I would love to tango!"
I remember the old rustic barn
Long ago in the sweet month of May
My sister Louise and her newly found squeeze
Were having a roll in the hay
She'd sneak to the neighborhood bar
And drink with young Larry and Chuck
She'd dance on a table, all willing and able
And take off her clothes for a buck
They'd pay just one dollar for a whoop and a holler
And an evening of boisterous play
Then they'd head for the barn, for some fun and a yarn
And dance til the sunrise broke day
At four in the morning, when day was a dawning
Old Pappy had gone for his gun
He crept up the ladder to the boys who had "had" her
And shouted they all better run
"I'll bring in the law to those lads in the straw
So, come outta your hiding place please!'
The boys did appear, each clutching a beer
And jumped from the loft to the floor
As naked as jays they ran separate ways
Trying to make for the door
With a shriek of denial
Louise ran for a mile
Dressed in her silk pantaloons
And I think of that day
As I chuckle away
At those bare bottomed
Chaps of eighteen
And Louise met a farmer who tried hard to calm her
And keep her away from the skids
She cooked and she sewed and kept the grass mowed
And bore the old geezer six kids