Once upon a time there lived a cat
And this cat was much, much, much too fat.
The mice he did ignore.
His treats came from the store.
The mice were safe unless on them he sat.
by Francine Roberts, for Cat Contest
From a planet which must be more fun
than the one called “Third Rock from the Sun,”
came an alien that
had the face of a cat.
In his hands he was holding a stun gun!
“Constellations -for eternity-
In a spaceship I’ve traveled,” said he.
“Though I look like a dork,
I could be a cool Mork!
May I stay? Will you be my Mindy?”
“So you know 80’s sitcoms!” said I.
“You sure are an interesting guy.”
“Yes, he said, “Earth’s TV,
with my technology, I can watch anytime that I fly!”
With this cool alien I now dwell,
and we both get along very well.
He’s no need for his gun,
for with me he has fun
watching shows that we both think are swell.
And we’ve flown now to many a place
like the moon and around all of space.
This guy from afar
is my SUPER STAR.
He’s my alien with a cat’s face.
Written for the Spaceship Contest March 11, 2014
I wake at two a.m
Cats outside my window
Fighting screeching moaning
Honey, what the heck is going on
I don't know
But, could you stop with all the singing
There was a cat from the city
who thought she was purrfectly pretty
But a dog chased her down
Almost running her out of town
And that did upset Miss Kitty
You best be believin'
That Miss Kitty got even
She rounded up a cat posse
And they scratched up the doggie
Now the poor mutt is grievin'
I once had a gray cat that could clog
and was better than any old dog.
His feet work was fast
but stardom didn’t last
when he fell for this stunning tree frog.
My gray cat and tree frog was to wed
on night he was to dance for our bread.
He got very sick
when frog he did lick
was quiet toxic, now gray cat is dead.
When gray cat finally reached cloud nine
told gate keeper he was feeling fine.
Though he looked green
he captured the scene
when he clogged to the front of the line.
Copyright © 2011 By Caryl S. Muzzey
Nineth Place Winner ~ "Any Funny Poem” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Destroyer Poet
Aug. 14, 2011
qoute: "a man chases a woman until she catches him."
how sweet this maiden of ron’s heart lays
with flair for whooping sensual grace
in balmy weather
tied bells together
now it’s linda’s turn to make the chase
but fragrant lure matched with poetry
imprisons man in lush mystery
when she swings her hips
his mind flops and flips
it’s hubby chasing smooth chemistry!
all rights reserved
(( for Linda Marie's "Loveland Limerick"))
by nette onclaud
A dog and a cat and a flea,
All sat down to some tea,
They all ate some ham,
With some bread and some jam,
And were all as content as can be.
A serial killer named Dexter
His victim's wounds they would just fester
He causes great fear
To those that are near
He'll pounce on a mouse just like a jester
© 2013 Rick Zablocki
There was a large cat from Llanelli
Who was terribly fond of spaghetti
One day out of menace
He travelled to Venice
Where he dined in the sun on a jetty.
She’s out there chasing a cricket
Through bush, through shrub & through thicket
Together they hop
But when she gets it, she just wants to lick it!
A cat whose vet took his eye
Just cannot quite understand why
His eye’s been enucleated,
3-D vision reduciated,
So now, he keeps an eye out for an eye
Ya gotta keep limericks loose
Think green eggs, or perhaps Dr. Seuss
They’re structured, it’s true,
But they’re also a zoo
Whose tenants are all on the loose!
I frolic in fountains of words
Overflowing with serious absurds
Each poem I write
Wakes up and takes flight
Joining angels and faeries and birds
You ask that we write a good limerick
How to do so, I haven’t a glimmerick
So I struggle and frown
Teaching poems to clown
So a smile on your lips will be shimmerick
A cat with a mouth full of mouse
Brought her feast right into my house
She played with her food
Who was not in the mood
To be a banquet of mouse in the house
The nightmares that shadow my sleep
Stampede the proverbial sheep
Right out of my mind
When I try to unwind
I find my appointment with sleep hard to keep
In her search for original truth
She met people unsavory and couth
She knitted and purled
But only unfurled
Yarns told by new age and old youth
Cat, suddenly pink,
Drinks her water from out of the sink
She looks so absurd
Since she’s been de-furred
I really don’t know what to think!
If one and one is two and two is four,
And there’s only two ways to go through a door,
Then, is earth up or down?
And, where is down town?
These are questions we need to explore!
A was that is an is
Tried to mind my biz
But I sent it packing,
Its presence was lacking
And I don’t have time for such shiz!
A couple who lived in Los Lunas
Loved the wide desert sky’s crystal blueness
They’d stare at the air,
Over here, over there
And rejoice at the feeling of newness
A cat with a very fat gut
Found it easier to walk on his butt
He’d drag it around
Across carpet and ground
And use it to slam the doors shut
Said the Missus to her dear Mr. Otter,
“There’s something I think that you oughta
Do before we get old
To protect us from cold –
You oughta make the hot water hotter!”
The ghosts who live up in my attic
Make noises that sound much like static
I’ve tried to send them away,
But they’re here to stay,
Those staticky ghosts in my attic