I always wanted two slices of ice cube pie
“You only get one”, was the standard reply.
I don’t know why I did
But since I was a kid
It was my favorite treat on the Fourth of July.
The pastry is known by all our relations
Since the recipe’s passed down for generations.
Every bite you’ll savoir
But remember, don’t settle for imitations
Long ago, my great Aunt tried experiments
By leaving out one of the ingredients.
Once Uncle took a bite
He stared out in fright
And barely survived that bad experience.
My oldest son, Johnny became quite wise
He grew up like the others, before our eyes.
His passion for confection
Was a gainful connection
When he opened the first ice cube pie franchise.
Soon after that, we made our first million
And played in the sun with friendly Brazilians.
But to our surprise
We saw ice cube pies
On bamboo platters next to our pavilion
Right away we knew this was an infraction
Without delay our family took action.
We found a private eye
Who loved our ice pie
But his research left him broken in traction.
It was apparent to us that that kind of job
Was endorsed by the brutal ice cube pie mob.
But we didn’t frown
Or give up and back down
We were going to prevail; oh, yes siree, Bob!
With a meeting of minds we gathered resources
And then undersigned the following courses.
To make sure our ices
Sold at cut-rate prices
To knock competition off its high horses.
So back at the shop we assembled platoons
To build enough pies to reach to the moons.
And made plenty dough
That allowed us to mow
Down the cube racket’s, knuckle dragging goons.
We now manage an ice cube pie monopoly
Sales started smooth, but then turned choppily.
So we eased the frustration
With another vacation
But guess what we saw in downtown Mexicali?!
The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend
There was a madam who had a business in Shire,
In the oldest profession, she was for hire,
Alas, the tax people came,
But she didn’t think the same,
Because soon she wanted to retire.
She cried, “I have no savings; surely you jest,
Even the IRS can’t tax my breasts!
I just had them installed!
Aren’t you enthralled?
I bet you would never even guess!”
"Madam, even though your 401k,
Is in your ample breasts to stay,
I can see by your guests,
It still generates interest,
And for that you’ll have to pay!"
Changed climate is not a surprise
With drilling for gas on the rise
Where can life forms hide
From carbon dioxide
And methane let loose in the skies?
Neo-druids auger gas wells
And add fluids with sulfurous smells!
Are poisons they've tapped
With their magic wands trapped
Evermore by sorcerous spells?
Votes and news seem not relevant
The unrelenting elephant
In all our best rooms
Is fossil fuel's fumes
And toxins we can't circumvent
Self-employed and partner in life
He "hired" some other guy's wife
Making golfing balls
Now he has two holes
My new business ?...Surgical Knives...
for Carolyn Devonshire's "Horrible Bosses"
Dragon slaying is a very bad crime
I'll get him off but I won't get a dime
Self defense we will claim
Aint no one else to blame
Wish it was this easy all of the time
For the Dragon slayer contest
"Tree huggers” use AT&T
The human cost catastrophe
On the horizon
Like text from Verizon
Is sent with the speed of 4G
Pollution's still booked at no
And Earth’s expenses neatly tossed
Off the balance sheet
With a "Sprint" so complete
The effects on nature seem lost
Yes EPA rules do offend
Those who crave Earth’s wealth without end
They claim to hate debt
But have seen nothing yet
Like phone bills "T-Mobile" might send!
Author's note: It seems ironic and strange that debt haters (like tea party supporters, for
example) and those who are pushing more reliance on fossil fuel and less "subsidy" for
renewables (Romney/Ryan for example) support the continuation of policies and
practices that will damage the environment and that will hurt future generations. They are
pushing growth and not pushing conservation. I would have more respect for them if
they talked about the costs as well as the benefits of their plans. I wonder if it might just
be a scam to reward large corporations for the short term and stick it to the rest of us for
generations. That would be nothing new.
Remember those first imports from Japan?
It seems they were all built for a small man.
Well, the times have changed.
Things are rearranged.
Japan’s building them as big as they can.
< let's get ready for some football ..... Ya !
Eagles verses da ..... Bears Well ... then Hey !
Here's kickoff ~ by da ....... Bears
Ohhhhhhhh ! fell off .... T ..... Unfair
Second ..... blocked ..... Eagles 7 - Nay !
Let's Limerick Contest
Tribute To Football
When she saw the economy brought
naught but poverty; said Ms Charlotte,
"Let us revitalize;
I can still improvise
a harlot for each empty car lot."