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Limerick Boyfriend Poems | Limerick Poems About Boyfriend

These Limerick Boyfriend poems are examples of Limerick poems about Boyfriend. These are the best examples of Limerick Boyfriend poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Limerick | |

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!


Details | Limerick | |

Word Portrait

  Dark chocolate eyes that smile with glee
 Laugh lines that only enhance his goatee 
          Blessed with pearly whites
          That gives good love bites
I'm drawn to his mustache like a queen bee

 Dark brown hair off sets creamy white skin
  Tall and slim, his physique makes me grin
            A sculpted nose so fine
             Sensual lips so divine
It's a good thing that handsome is not a sin

Long arms embrace me and hold me tight
   Perfect ears that are aligned just right
             Sexy arched eyebrows
              That get me aroused
Blush on his cheeks after an ardent night

   Looks and passion a small part of his traits
Smart and kind, he's been blessed by the fates
                 Witty, fun and sweet
                 He is without conceit   
The fun we have, makes us great play mates

21/ 04/ 2013
For Frank H's contest


Details | Limerick | |

Beer Keg Legs


Meg has two old battered beer keg legs
that don't look to hold much more than dregs. 
But when Greg comes along 
she begs; "Please, please, belong 
to me.  I still gotta lotta eggs.”  


*Written at Elizabeth Wesley's request.


Details | Limerick | |

Do You

Do you love me?
or love me not?
You told me once,
But i forgot.
So tell me once,
and tell me twice,
and i will tell you,
that i love you.
I do believe,
that God above,
Created you,
for me to love.
He chose you out,
from all the rest,
because he knew,
I'd love you best.
       xxx


Details | Limerick | |

Birds -N- Bees

Your raging hormones you must ignore
For desires will shake you to your core
Listen to your heart 
Before you embark
Make love with someone you truly adore.

Sciences class teaches us what we should know
About body parts and where they should go
Willie goes in Muff
Quicken breaths we huff
All consumed till body fluids flow.

But alas the girl did not have none
Boy finished before girl was done
He is satisfied
She is horrified
Damn the hype about two joining as one.


Details | Limerick | |

From The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand - E PLURIBUM ANUS



RIPAE BENI DEAU VER

In modus fasciculumque Brady pus.
Rogationes, confractum egemus.
Minara excommunica
Ripa nostra, sus amica,
Sic superbum precum, pape beatus.



Story:
http://www.sloveniatimes.com/president-to-attend-pope-francis-s-installation-mass#komentarji


The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand moves in mysterious ways. Just ignore him. 


www.jesus.si


Details | Limerick | |

Breakup Text

Last night you texted, "Honey, it’s the end"
But I will not cry…my heart will soon mend
‘Cuz I’ve got so many calls
Unlike you, from guys with balls
And tonight, those balls are of your best friend


Details | Limerick | |

Flaws VS Flawless

It’s amazing what is seen as nice
clear skin with a soul stark as ice.
Long legs with a crotch
and out she will trot
at the end of his arm, once or twice.

Sweet hearts are all hidden it seems
men want only a tart for their dreams.
A crooked smile to beguile, 
a tiny mind infantile
and Boozoo’s coming apart at the seams.

When kindness is seen as a bore
All you’ll find is flaw after flaw
Then your just desserts
Will come in short skirts
While your wife gets the house and much more!

 



Details | Limerick | |

An Arrogant Cad

The most handsome of boyfriends I had
broke my heart; what an arrogant cad!
But I don't think I missed
out on much. How he kissed
makes me think - sex with him must be bad!



 For The Contest: A valentine Limerick~ to your x-lover the heart-breaker ( explaining how life goes on ) after the heart break.
Sponsored by Sidney ~ LeeAnn


Details | Limerick | |

Mars And Venus

On Mars it's a man you will see.
On Venus a lady will be.
     But what's so amazing,
     Will make all your heads ring.
They both get together with glee!


Details | Limerick | |

Chimp Jim and Dandy

Once me and my chimp friend bald Jim
flew through a forest limb to limb
his opposable thumb
got caught in my ho-hum
thank God old Jim’s not real prim.

My name is Miss Fine and Dandy
Bald Jim often brings me candy
a banana toffee
always does it for me
and him, since he's oh so randy.


Details | Limerick | |

Message to My X

I fell in love at thirteen
You might say I was quite green
I held his hand tight
He was out of sight
But now he’s being so mean!

At camp, spent days in a tent
His pride had taken a dent
We made up just fine
That sweet boy of mine
But now he seems so hell bent.

He needs some joy in his life
And though he has a great wife
A friend’s always nice
To add some more spice
But he’s afraid of the strife.

I’d shower him with such joy
But he's a silly old boy
He won’t come to play
He must have his way
My heart he’s used like a toy!

“My dear, why can’t you be nice?
Before you end it- think twice
Between you and me  
Let’s make harmony
You’ve made me pay a high price!


Details | Limerick | |

And Now, For the REST of the Story - 'NR'

So when-Jack-and-Jill reached the top of the hill
Jack couldn't stand still (Tried to snatch a cheap thrill)
Kissed Jill on the mouth
(Things quickly went south)
Then Jack said to Jill...'Can looks really KILL?'

Okay, naughty boys and good girls
Let's give Mother Goose one more whirl...

Once the elderly, eccentric Miss Muffet
Informed neighbors: 'Kiss-my-keester and stuff it!'
Thus poor Charlotte the Spider
Dropped and plopped down beside her
And Miss Muffet squashed her flat with her tuffet...

3/19/2013
The title is a direct quote from the late, great Paul Harvey: Radio and Television commentator...




Details | Limerick | |

A Kiss In The Dark

Blinded and saving the love talk in the dark
In a sensuous connection came a spark
An active mind bee-lined for a kiss
Shilly-shally bemused as lass remarks
Lips to nose in a clear view face, turns dark.


Details | Limerick | |

Values


Sensitivity's what gals hold dear 
in guys.  High on their lists: his career.  
What is it for us'll 
make us want to nuzzle?  
High skirts, low blouses, hot lovin', cold beer.


Details | Limerick | |

Full Circle

Just out of college, we would yearn for a touch
Sleeping together cuddled on the couch
Those were the days!
Of pre-wedding bouquets
Now I am told to go sleep alone on the couch


Details | Limerick | |

Sick Trick

You complained, “Don’t come over today -
My throat’s sore, I’m tired, and achy.”
So why are you nude,
In bed with some dude?
If you’re going to lie, pull down the shades!


Details | Limerick | |

HEART IN DENIAL


‘ ‘’’’’’’’’ ‘ ‘ In the middle of honeyed cuddling He whispered a girl’s name while swooning Through excuses he denied A final “goodbye” I chimed While stars set course for true love waiting © ' ''' ' Entry for Sidney~ Leann’s Valentine Limerick/ PD's Poem Posted this Week WeeK Written by nette onclaud


Details | Limerick | |

Lover's Complaint


Your long term plans, I have not seen ‘em.  
And all those love vows, you don't mean ‘em.  
You have only got eyes 
for my long limber thighs, 
and that small bit that lies between ‘em.  


                                                                 09/26/11  

*Adapted from a Limerick by ‘Poet Unknown’    


Details | Limerick | |

Loose Louise

There was a young man in a pickle
His girlfriend Louise was quite fickle
When the test came out blue
She told him it's not you
With others I played slap and tickle





* for Deborah Guzzi's  Limerick contest


Details | Limerick | |

Girl in my Class

There once was a girl in my class.
One day I tried to make a pass.
My cheek still sting,
My ears still ring,
Yet married to me; Alas!


Details | Limerick | |

THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

Two virgin lovers, now have learned
A lesson they wish they had spurned
Of the birds and the bees
His poor carpet burnt knees
Next time, to the bed they adjourned


Nick Bagnall
Contest entry for : THE BIRDS AND THE BEES


Details | Limerick | |

Homecoming

Favorite green silk robe Lying in wait for him to come home Dinner is ready The door opens steady Happy he’s finally home * Racing from the car to the door As soon as my shoes hit the floor My heart is capsizing Just now realizing She’s more beautiful than ever before * We’ve finally found our way home We’ll never again be alone Embracing at last Hearts racing fast Every emotion within a single moan
A collaborative limerick by Rachel Egona and Julian Egona


Details | Limerick | |

The Ring


A wary young man said, "I suppose, 
that this lady to whom I propose; 
a ring on her finger 
delight it will bring her.  
So, why does she want one in my nose?


Details | Limerick | |

A dull three - aka Adultery

Love lived in the hearts of Him and Her,
 But distance shrouded fear over Her
 And to punish Her reluctance
 He gave another girl a chance
 And she brought triplets nine months later.



(c) Nyonglema


Details | Limerick | |

BERNARDETTE'S JEALOUSY

Darling, it's time we had a chat,
" Don't hurt me like Bernardette,
she stirs up jealousy
with the same stupidity;
just ignore her and save your breath! "


Details | Limerick | |

The Legend of Smelly Nelly

Smelly Nelly was quite a charming girl,
She wore her hair in braids instead of curls,
Bathing several times per day in the Jewish way,
Yet many scoffed and sniffed,
exclaiming she smelt like manure in hay,
Nelly used expensive oils and attars,
some came from lands very far,
Her raiments were made of the finest silks
but people still told her she smelt
like days old milk,
They shunned and booed her,
talking behind her back,
hoping and praying she would have a heart attack,
The gripe they harbored had nothing to do with
Nelly's smell, it was because her family owned
several oil wells,
Neverthelss, she brought her own lunch which made
her naysayers feel as if they were incompetent bunches,
The farce of living as the Joneses do, never appealed to
Nelly because she knew the value of a dollar,
So while folks snickered and stared, corking their noses
causing her despair,
She sat and ate her snicker doodle sandwiches with her
little pinky waving in the air,
Smelly Nelly they chanted everyday, but she shrugged
her shoulders and continued on her merry way,
Cartier, Chanel and Youth Dew were always in her backpack,
but she knew it was hard for critics to understand her modest lifestyle,
They all rumoured that she lacked!
Afterall, she rather "enjoyed" their ignorance,
watching them treat her as if she were a rotten as mere happenstance,
But Nelly soon conquered her critics by blossoming into a
lovely swan, forgetting about the negativity, and meanness,
leaving the penny section to stew in their own mess......


Details | Limerick | |

Heaven Sent


I once thought you had been heaven sent, 
but now you bring all this mad ferment.  
Your crazy emotions 
and endless commotions 
tell me we were never heaven meant.


Details | Limerick | |

You wished

          Expensive boy toys you kept buying
          All the while to me you were lying
          Though you felt like confection
          Till I found your protection
          And ended your ideas of trying  

         
           Sandra Hudson      1/27/2012
           
           : Sidney ~ LeeAnn
           Valentine Limerick contest


Details | Limerick | |

You

And if I were some hair locks, you would be shampoo
Now if I were a swimmer, use you as canoe
Gee! But on second thoughts;
I will perhaps not.
Ever would I get the timber, light enough like you?

And if I were student, you I would construe,
Now if I were painting, I’ll try to paint you.
Gee! But on second thoughts;
I will perhaps not.
Ever would I get the colors, pretty enough for you?

And if I was a biker, you would be tattoo,
New morning grass I walk on, you glisten like the dew
Gee! But on second thoughts;
It will perhaps not.
Ever would there be water, pure enough like you?

And if I were a movie star, you would be debut,
Now if I were some cook, you would be my stew.
Gee! But on second thoughts;
It will perhaps not.
Ever would I get vegetables, fresh enough like you?

And if I wrote a mystery, you would be my clue,
Now if I had a balcony, you would be my view.
Gee! But on second thoughts;
I will perhaps not.
Ever would I imagine something wonderful as you?

And if were too lonely, we will together coo 
Now should I say I love you, without further ado?
Gee! But on second thoughts;
I will perhaps not.
Easy, it would seem too easy, I just like to pursue.  


Details | Limerick | |

Happy Ten months to my Katie Bear

A silly poem for my Katie Bear:

Wow, can you believe we've reached month TEN
Would someone be so kind as to hand me a PEN?

For i think it's time to send you a poem filled with LOVE
There's no doubt in my mind your a gift from ABOVE.

I love this girl with all my HEART
That's why it kills me to be APART

So far we've come, just look how much we CARE
Even though i no longer have blue HAIR.

For something has grown, something much DEEPER
as my grandpa says "This one's a KEEPER"

The people at work say "is she the one?"
I just smile and say if she laughs at my pun!

Now i know this is SILLY
and you'll sit and say "REALLY?"

But yes, really, my feelings are TRUE
the only girl i want is YOU

cheers to us, and to many years more
to a love that lasts through rich and poor

To growing old, and in each others arms falling asleep
I'd smile at your slumbering frame as you make not a peep

So one last time, happy anniversary
I promise i'll go buy all of the groceries


Details | Limerick | |

Love at first sight

There was a young lady from Leicester
Who met a young man who impressed her
She was swept off her feet
And her heart skipped a beat
When he cuddled and kissed and caressed her


Details | Limerick | |

Enjamb Me


My girlfriend climbs on one knee and en- 
jambs me; ecstasy.  Her elation 
is so, so delicious; 
so very capricious; 
poetic female domination.  


*Enjambement is French: straddle, bestride.  It's also a poetry term.


Details | Limerick | |

A SECRET PLOT

My co-workers, like clowns, are laughing.....
plotting against me; I get an eerie feeling.
I am the nicest fellow,
sharing joy and sorrow;
guys have secrets they shouldn't be telling!   


Details | Limerick | |

Mo' Joe Skinny Legs and All (Limerick)

(Remembering the Great Joe Tex)

There once was a girl called Sweet Nellie-Rose
Who fell in love with a guy called Mo’ Joe
Guys said she was too skinny
‘Til Nellie wore that Mini
Skinny legs ~ mini skirt and all… wrapped Joe


Comments:
I gotcha wondering just who’s mojo was working
that day :-)


Details | Limerick | |

First Attempt at Limerick

  I once had a girl named Kate  
Who a Wolf tried to domesticate.       
      But the Wolf got mad,           
      and Kate wasn't glad                        
Now they both have to masturbate.          


Details | Limerick | |

bullfrogdog

there once was a three legged dog
who thought he was a bullfrog
instead of a nap or a nip
he preferred a wet kiss
then had his way with a log


Details | Limerick | |

The stiff

(the word (moll) means a mobsters wife or girlfriend)



I heard of a wiseguy named Guido
Who suffered a waning libido
His disgruntled moll
Made a quick call
Now Guido is incognito


Details | Limerick | |

My Meal and I

The meal I require tonight
Will satisfy my appetite
As she lies on the table
Oh boy am I able
To relish in her sweet delights

First her curvaceous curves
Enjoyable for any serve
Taken abreast
How my heart requests
So pert in tasteful observe

Her sweetness is sure to follow
Like a bear in honey I wallow
Then like a lion I roar
As I head back for more
Sugary just like a marshmallow

My love has a craving to share
For into my eyes she does stare
She says "Hun are you able"
It's your turn on the table
I have teeth so you better beware











http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-5.php


Details | Limerick | |

Wolfgirl

There was a full moon when I met her
And I said to myself “I must get her”
Then the wolf in her flared
And I got real scared
When she said it’s OK, I can pet her

I've had therapy sessions and yet
She was something I just can't forget
If I whistle a tune
When there is a full moon
She comes to me just like an old pet


Mdailey  9/30/11
Wolfman Contest


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Summer Limerick

Look at the blazing sun.
The children seem to be having a lot of fun.
Inside my heart you look like a phantom.
Outside this world you look like Jasmine.
I can't deny I saw your face in the crowd as I saw all the children run.


Details | Limerick | |

Raging Toothache

                    To be called a romantic is something I just can't take,

             but the faint hint of your smile has kept my nights wide awake;

                                                      I float, I wait

                                                 in a stunned state;

                now your absence torments me so like a raging toothache!