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Limerick Boyfriend Poems | Limerick Poems About Boyfriend

These Limerick Boyfriend poems are examples of Limerick poems about Boyfriend. These are the best examples of Limerick Boyfriend poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Limerick | |

Rock Paper Scissors

Rock Girl

You are scissors, and all you can do is to cut all those paper hearts through. But I’ve hardened my heart and before you can start to destroy me, I’m going to SMASH you!
(Gosh, PD, they won't even permit the ~sign in the title!)

Copyright © Andrea Dietrich

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Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!

Copyright © JSLambert Mister ROBOTO

Details | Limerick | |

Consider Cougars

Some men might prefer kitty cats oh so pretty, but they might be brats! The mature feline, though, is the one in the “know” and is better at dealing with rats! To the Cougar’s “prey“, I say fear not! It can be a good thing to get caught. Ashton Kutcher’s not blind. Maybe you too can find a cougar both wealthy and hot!
By Andrea Dietrich Inspired by Dr. Ram Mehta's Contest: "Cougar Effect"

Copyright © Andrea Dietrich

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Word Portrait

  Dark chocolate eyes that smile with glee
 Laugh lines that only enhance his goatee 
          Blessed with pearly whites
          That gives good love bites
I'm drawn to his mustache like a queen bee

 Dark brown hair off sets creamy white skin
  Tall and slim, his physique makes me grin
            A sculpted nose so fine
             Sensual lips so divine
It's a good thing that handsome is not a sin

Long arms embrace me and hold me tight
   Perfect ears that are aligned just right
             Sexy arched eyebrows
              That get me aroused
Blush on his cheeks after an ardent night

   Looks and passion a small part of his traits
Smart and kind, he's been blessed by the fates
                 Witty, fun and sweet
                 He is without conceit   
The love we have, makes us great soul mates

21/ 04/ 2013
For Frank H's contest

Copyright © Cecilia Macfarlane

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Beer Keg Legs

Meg has two old battered beer keg legs
that don't look to hold much more than dregs. 
But when Greg comes along 
she begs; "Please, please, belong 
to me.  I still gotta lotta eggs.”  

*Written at Elizabeth Wesley's request.

Copyright © John Smith

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There once was a Chick from the sea
whose two buxom breasts were set free.
Twin seaweed straps snapped
as thunder clouds clapped
and the sailors drown ecstatically.

Copyright © Debbie Guzzi

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"Does my butt look big ?"

I was with my girlfriend at dinner
With each bite she took, she got thinner
Until she was just skin and bone
I blinked twice and I was alone
I then woke up, lying next to her

Copyright © Mitch White

Details | Limerick | |

.~69~. /Zodiac.Race/

~69~ /zodiac sign/

There once was a hermit crab named Nate
Who enjoyed the solitude of his hate
   Meeting a lovely lady
   A sexy Texan, name P.D.
Finding true hate, trying to online date 

(Zodiac Sign Contest)

Copyright © Nate D.

Details | Limerick | |

Birds -N- Bees

Your raging hormones you must ignore
For desires will shake you to your core
Listen to your heart 
Before you embark
Make love with someone you truly adore.

Sciences class teaches us what we should know
About body parts and where they should go
Willie goes in Muff
Quicken breaths we huff
All consumed till body fluids flow.

But alas the girl did not have none
Boy finished before girl was done
He is satisfied
She is horrified
Damn the hype about two joining as one.

Copyright © Cecilia Macfarlane

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From The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand - E PLURIBUM ANUS


In modus fasciculumque Brady pus.
Rogationes, confractum egemus.
Minara excommunica
Ripa nostra, sus amica,
Sic superbum precum, pape beatus.


The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand moves in mysterious ways. Just ignore him.

Copyright © Julian Bohan

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Valentine Dreams

Though Cupid was not on the scene
the dame had her very own scheme.
Her gent, she waylaid,
her breasts, she displayed
and cashed in on his Valentine dream.

Copyright © Debbie Guzzi

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Emmmmm Good

The spring in my pants was so dandy.
She wanted to suck it like candy.
When she closed her eyes.
I gave my surprise.
Never saw a girl quite that handy!

For Francine Roberts "Wow me in 5 lines" contest

Copyright © Jimmy Anderson

Details | Limerick | |

Breakup Text

Last night you texted, "Honey, it’s the end"
But I will not cry…my heart will soon mend
‘Cuz I’ve got so many calls
Unlike you, from guys with balls
And tonight, those balls are of your best friend

Copyright © Natalie The Rogue Rhymer

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An Arrogant Cad

The most handsome of boyfriends I had
broke my heart; what an arrogant cad!
But I don't think I missed
out on much. How he kissed
makes me think - sex with him must be bad!

 For The Contest: A valentine Limerick~ to your x-lover the heart-breaker ( explaining how life goes on ) after the heart break.
Sponsored by Sidney ~ LeeAnn

Copyright © Andrea Dietrich

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Flaws VS Flawless

It’s amazing what is seen as nice
clear skin with a soul stark as ice.
Long legs with a crotch
and out she will trot
at the end of his arm, once or twice.

Sweet hearts are all hidden it seems
men want only a tart for their dreams.
A crooked smile to beguile, 
a tiny mind infantile
and Boozoo’s coming apart at the seams.

When kindness is seen as a bore
All you’ll find is flaw after flaw
Then your just desserts
Will come in short skirts
While your wife gets the house and much more!


Copyright © Debbie Guzzi

Details | Limerick | |

Mars And Venus

On Mars it's a man you will see.
On Venus a lady will be.
     But what's so amazing,
     Will make all your heads ring.
They both get together with glee!

Copyright © Marty Owens

Details | Limerick | |

Naked to Bare

My girl loves to lie in the nude
For one thing she sure ain't a prude
She's so naked to bare
And just doesn't care
But all the other guys eyes are so glued

Copyright © James Fraser

Details | Limerick | |

A Kiss In The Dark

Blinded and saving the love talk in the dark
In a sensuous connection came a spark
An active mind bee-lined for a kiss
Shilly-shally bemused as lass remarks
Lips to nose in a clear view face, turns dark.

Copyright © Ako Henshaw

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The Indian Giver Love Bandit

He promised to love me forever
Then again he was just being clever
He took back his love
So I gave him a shove
Headfirst in cow dung-my endeavor!

** for Indian Giver contest
  sponsored by(Destroyer ((Poet

Copyright © Deb Wilson

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Hickey Dickey

I knew of a guy called Dickey
Whose life became rather tricky
When he kissed the girls
They left pretty burls
Never showing us his hidden hickeys

Copyright © James Fraser

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And Now, For the REST of the Story - 'NR'

So when-Jack-and-Jill reached the top of the hill
Jack couldn't stand still (Tried to snatch a cheap thrill)
Kissed Jill on the mouth
(Things quickly went south)
Then Jack said to Jill...'Can looks really KILL?'

Okay, naughty boys and good girls
Let's give Mother Goose one more whirl...

Once the elderly, eccentric Miss Muffet
Informed neighbors: 'Kiss-my-keester and stuff it!'
Thus poor Charlotte the Spider
Dropped and plopped down beside her
And Miss Muffet squashed her flat with her tuffet...

The title is a direct quote from the late, great Paul Harvey: Radio and Television commentator...

Copyright © Tim Ryerson

Details | Limerick | |

My Sweet All Sour

" I am sorry!" as I told you before.
You keep saying that I must do more.
Should I break down and cry?
Should I curl up and die?
Either way- you still walk out the door.

Copyright © Gerard Keogh Jr.

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The Legend of Smelly Nelly

Smelly Nelly was quite a charming girl,
She wore her hair in braids instead of curls,
Bathing several times per day in the Jewish way,
Yet many scoffed and sniffed,
exclaiming she smelt like manure in hay,
Nelly used expensive oils and attars,
some came from lands very far,
Her raiments were made of the finest silks
but people still told her she smelt
like days old milk,
They shunned and booed her,
talking behind her back,
hoping and praying she would have a heart attack,
The gripe they harbored had nothing to do with
Nelly's smell, it was because her family owned
several oil wells,
Neverthelss, she brought her own lunch which made
her naysayers feel as if they were incompetent bunches,
The farce of living as the Joneses do, never appealed to
Nelly because she knew the value of a dollar,
So while folks snickered and stared, corking their noses
causing her despair,
She sat and ate her snicker doodle sandwiches with her
little pinky waving in the air,
Smelly Nelly they chanted everyday, but she shrugged
her shoulders and continued on her merry way,
Cartier, Chanel and Youth Dew were always in her backpack,
but she knew it was hard for critics to understand her modest lifestyle,
They all rumoured that she lacked!
Afterall, she rather "enjoyed" their ignorance,
watching them treat her as if she were a rotten as mere happenstance,
But Nelly soon conquered her critics by blossoming into a
lovely swan, forgetting about the negativity, and meanness,
leaving the penny section to stew in their own mess......

Copyright © Margeret Bailey

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Message to My X

I fell in love at thirteen
You might say I was quite green
I held his hand tight
He was out of sight
But now he’s being so mean!

At camp, spent days in a tent
His pride had taken a dent
We made up just fine
That sweet boy of mine
But now he seems so hell bent.

He needs some joy in his life
And though he has a great wife
A friend’s always nice
To add some more spice
But he’s afraid of the strife.

I’d shower him with such joy
But he's a silly old boy
He won’t come to play
He must have his way
My heart he’s used like a toy!

“My dear, why can’t you be nice?
Before you end it- think twice
Between you and me  
Let’s make harmony
You’ve made me pay a high price!

Copyright © Eileen Manassian

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Full Circle

Just out of college, we would yearn for a touch
Sleeping together cuddled on the couch
Those were the days!
Of pre-wedding bouquets
Now I am told to go sleep alone on the couch

Copyright © Nitesh Aggarwal

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A man found himself in a pickle
When his girlfriend found he was fickle
He said "won't you stay"
She said "there's no way"
As she took his head off with a sickle.

Josette Key    2010

Copyright © Josette Key

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Loose Louise

There was a young man in a pickle
His girlfriend Louise was quite fickle
When the test came out blue
She told him it's not you
With others I played slap and tickle

* for Deborah Guzzi's  Limerick contest

Copyright © Deb Wilson

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Chimp Jim and Dandy

Once me and my chimp friend bald Jim
flew through a forest limb to limb
his opposable thumb
got caught in my ho-hum
thank God old Jim’s not real prim.

My name is Miss Fine and Dandy
Bald Jim often brings me candy
a banana toffee
always does it for me
and him, since he's oh so randy.

Copyright © Debbie Guzzi

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Sick Trick

You complained, “Don’t come over today -
My throat’s sore, I’m tired, and achy.”
So why are you nude,
In bed with some dude?
If you’re going to lie, pull down the shades!

Copyright © Black Eyed Susan

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A dull three - aka Adultery

Love lived in the hearts of Him and Her,
 But distance shrouded fear over Her
 And to punish Her reluctance
 He gave another girl a chance
 And she brought triplets nine months later.

(c) Nyonglema

Copyright © Nyonglema Pisoh