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Limerick Adventure Poems | Limerick Poems About Adventure

These Limerick Adventure poems are examples of Limerick poems about Adventure. These are the best examples of Limerick Adventure poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Sweet and Salty -LIBRA TALE


Sweet and Sour hectic sign
Love me, trust me, the stars align
   Balance of truth and dare
   Good and Evil, full of care 
Blind when it comes to blood line

:) PD

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Aging with Flare

Retirement for some means a rocking chair
But I’m blasting forth on a contrail’s flare
      My 40-year career
     Swirls behind in Earth’s sphere
And I’m ready to take on any dare

Francine invited me to bungee jump
I’ll skydive with Gwen - might end up a clump
     There’ll be no rocking chair
     As I hang-glide through air
Thinking of age as a tiny speed bump

*Entry for Tracie’s “New Beginnings” Contest

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Don't Disturb The Hive

Run, jump, scream, duck, dodge and leap 
Try to stay on your running feet 
Honey in the hive 
The bees are alive 
Run, jump, scream, don't fall and leap!

Details | Limerick | |

Poets Night Out

<                                  dancing and twisting the night away
                                    karen O'Leary just had to say
                                    Joseph Spence and Dr. Ram
                                    our convention's quite jammed
                                    hope katherine Stella's table won't sway 

Poets At My Table
Myself   Katherine Stella 
Karen O'Leary
Joseph Spence
Dr. Ram Mehta

Entry For 
Michael Falotico's
A Table For 4 Contest  
G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |



Seeing the posting of the zoo unicorn
Could not wait to go see his horn
My eyes just could not believe
The boy I had  been deceived
Poor horse got thrown a lot of popcorn

 a Linda-Marie   = (contest) =

Details | Limerick | |

Fishing Limerick

This fisherman, we’ll just call Mike
Was fishing for Great Northern Pike
He would throw in his line
But time after time
It came back with nothing he’d like

When I was a wee little lad
I went out fishing with dad
I caught a big trout
And was dancing about
When he threw him back in I got mad

I said Dad why did you let him go
I could take him to school don't you know
Now I just can't conceive
That my friends will believe
If I haven't got something to show

Contest:  Limericks about fishing -3rd place finish
By: Mdailey

Details | Limerick | |

Monkey See

Monkey See~

There once was a monkey named Frank
Who loved to walk the plank
He said too many jokes
Pulled too many hoaxe-s 
Ha! Ha! Ha! Then he got a good spank


Who's that monkey in front of me
I dare to hang with you on a tree
Oh! What I do? Will you do?
Together we are like glue
Is that my flea or your flea?

~ Skat ~


Details | Limerick | |

The Stinky Old Goat

An Old Goat in a boat rowed off shore.
He caught perch in his search and much more.
So full was his boat,
there's trout in his coat
Eau de fish was his scent evermore!

a/a/b/b/a  9/9/6/6/9
anapest meter

Details | Limerick | |



There was a man who ran over a toad.
The puppy, is on the side of the road.
How hypocritical can one be?
The puppy was easy to see.
Tonight I hope he inhales another heavy load.


There once was a man who made his bed.
Ate breakfast at noon, with his buddy Ned.
Lost his job, 
for being a snob.
Now,he can't afford his meds.


twinkle the little star, had none.
in his mouth he had a gun.
baby drool all over the floor.
he can't stand it no more.
pulled the trigger for fun.


Stepping away from the line.
The officer asked if he was fine.
one was not enough to drink.
now something really stinks.
Don't ever fall asleep at the STOP SIGN.


Details | Limerick | |

Goofy Kangaroo

God had a great sense of humor when He created the large goofy kangaroo.
He gave it donkey ears, a deer’s face, teeny tiny hands and eyes of goo goo.
Then there is the kangaroo’s big honking feet which cause it to hop instead of run.
Don’t forget it’s long humongous tail that looks like the back end of a giant python.
Finally there is the mama kangaroo’s front pouch for the safety of the baby roo.

Details | Limerick | |

Brody and Quint

This old sea-rig is swamped and don't float
I TOLD you we'd need a bigger boat!
Now you are HIS prize
Sure ain't no surprise
That you're fish-food, you hard-headed goat!

"Jaws" - 1975

Details | Limerick | |

Going Fishing

I wanted to learn how to fish.
Daddy said he would grant my wish.
Handed me a worm
That started to squirm.
I'd rather get fish from a dish.

My dear husband whom I adore
Asked me to go fishing once more.
I tripped and fell in
A fisherman's sin.
Now we're buying fish from the store.

The fish were all biting that day,
Promised I'd stay out of his way.
He threw out the hook.
It snagged on my book.
Now I'm not a fish devotee.

April 25/11

For John's Fishing Limerick Contest

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BrontoPDsaurus    (LIMERICK)

Life-size dinosaur skeleton
No luck in collecting my specimen
I took one long pound,
Next I'm on the ground
Lucky T-Rex, ate meat of gelatin. 

NEW ERA  (HAIKU)  ((Ignore this part  ANDREA))

exhibit begins 
experience another realm
Amazing fossil

This is by far my favoite limerick... Okay I got some good, but naughty ones.. 
will not post them here on the soup...

(example for contest)

Details | Limerick | |

Fishing Adventure

"Fishing Adventure" fishing is a sport of supreme relaxation beneath golden Sun with great anticipation while warm water is quiet fish feast on worm diet as the boat gently sways in utter fascination. soon the fishing pole jerks on thin line a sweet catch on which two hearts will dine once a struggle ensues other fish sing the blues top things off with a bottle of wine. surprise this fish was a white shark sea beast run for your life, no fish feast jaws revisited blue wave adventure in a cold cave lived to tell this tale of terror, at least. *For Seren Robert's Fisherman Contest. *Dec. 1, 2012.

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Pinball Wizard

"Pinball Wizard" strange sounds hypnotize from an ARCADE challenging me to a dual escapade silver balls wait in line for fingers to opine female transforms to pinball wizard on parade. STAR TREK is my machine of choice listening to CAPTAIN KIRK'S commanding voice ENTERPRISE flies at warp speed as numbers calculate point feed as a TREKKIE I win a la Royce.* MORTAL COMBAT is a game of great skill super bonus points mount as empty holes fill deadly fatalities video catastrophies in the end my name is on top of the hill. STREET FIGHTER is quick, sharp and rough knocking down opponents is so tough when the flipper sinks the ball in the bad dude shouts "a vul kin"* aggravated, I cry out "had enough". time to hang up my "wizard fingers" for another day flashing lights show my name on display leaving fantasy behind know I'm "one of a kind" pinball prima donna loves to play. *Royce -haracter from older series *A Vul Kin - foreign language meaning you're dead *For Yasmin Khan's Video Games Contedt .. *Sept. 24,2012.

Details | Limerick | |

Our Monuments Are Ours.

With precision we carved out the sand
here at home, down on your cursed land
We defy you to try
You will surely fail. Why?
We used nothing that looks like your hand.

Details | Limerick | |

Wonderful Star

                                   There once was a wonderful star 
                                 Who thought she would go very far
                                            Until she fell down
                                         And looked like a clown
                                   She knew she would never go far
                                     She would land near the moon

Details | Limerick | |

The Monster Mash

<                              dancing to the hit song monster mash
                                frankenstein and werewolf got real smashed
                                took the witches culdeen
                                and boiled up mummys spleen
                                Quasimodo joined in on the bash

                                witches brew of brains spleens gizzards hearts
                                illuminates party from it's start
                                Dracula and zombies
                                lurking for free bodies
                                poor old frankie's wife just fell apart 

                               the bewitching dance came to its end
                               when bats flew in frenzy around den 
                               on this all hallows eve
                               trickery was up sleeve
                               sent my 3 black cats in to defend

Details | Limerick | |


: : : : : (    : : : : :

like  Moses, the king of rods and storms
I once displayed my best fishing forms
       sleek boat started to leak
       the hooks went on a freak…
and landed in a field of dead worms

to save face, I  hanged on a palm tree
holding two stoned tablets for last spree
    fish and mollusks sneered
    as sea creatures cheered…
till I roared… and parted the red sea!


*one of the commandments of the tablets read:
“ Thou shalt not laugh at neighbor’s foolish failed attempts..” :)

--- for John Moses Freeman's " Fishing Limericks"
     and now, PD's Limerick Fu 
     by nette onclaud,

Details | Limerick | |

Peace Flies

While buzzing one day around Beijing
my two faceted eyes saw something,
a man named Liu Xiabo
thrown in jail like cargo
Nobel Peace prize of no, he was hamstringed.

Fast flew I, to his fine mistresses house
and found the commies had lured his wife out
the press to waylay
on his special day
all the leadership could do was grouse!

Finding my way to Liu Xiabo’s cell,
it seems all free men here, live in hell.
He smiled with kind eyes
said “Ah, life’s the prize!
perhaps, I will arise, who can tell?"

*2010 Nobel Peace Prize Winner for his efforts
in obtaining human rights in China was jailed
by his government.

Details | Limerick | |

Black Friday

<                     ladies ~ gentlemen ~ start those ...... engines
                         miss  ~ Ho ~ down - prices .... would be a sin
                                        best buy - circuit city
                                   black ~ friday .... how pitty
                        5 am ~ now ~ who ~ wears ~ smiling ... grins 

                          k- mart ~ wal - mart ~ target ~ pennys
                              red tag sales of many and plenty
                                 but you must buy in bulks
                        and ~  get ~ guy ~ like ~ the ... hulk
                to ~ push ~ cart ~ while ~ you ~ chat ~ with ... jenny

                         let's ~ all ~  hop ~ on ~ over ~ to ~ I - hop
                         your one stop for christmas breakfast slop
                                sure pancakes sounds yummy
                                     but wait till hits tummy 
                                 be sitting on stool till it plops

Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Commericialized Holiday Humor Contest
Gl All And Happy Holidays
Love Kathy & Jenny

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Deal Or No Deal

<                             Once was a gal shopped all garage sales
                               Nuts ~ bolts ~ screws ~  all found in one big pail
                               Husband said had nice rack
                               Wife turns ~ gives him.... good smack
                               Loaded - buckshot - and - boy - did - he .... wail 

Written by
Katherine Stella 
Entry For
A Poets Garage Sale

Details | Limerick | |

Careless Internet Searches

Blake found a webpage on the internet
Smiling at wife, "this will be fun, I bet"
Wife grudgingly came along
Blake sang a fun little song
“How much trouble can we really get?”

“It will be grand…we can make our own wine”
“And honey”, Blake said, “It is about time”
So to the vineyard they went
And too much money they spent
Broke but hopeful, drove home feeling sublime

The grapes poured out, his aspirations soared 
Website steps printed out, oh was he floored
He stomped and stomped…yet instead
Slipped in the tub…cracked his head
After his service, the vile wine was poured

Details | Limerick | |

A Whale of a Tale

When the call of the Lord came to Jonah,
“set out for the great land of Nineveh!”
he was angry inside,
and decided to hide,
on a Tarshish bound ship leaving Joppa.

Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea,
ne’er a more violent storm could there be,
there on destiny’s brink,
the ship threatened to sink,
while, old Jonah, was below deck asleep.

Surely, each sailor’s heart fainted with fear,
as the ship they were unable to steer.
“Wake up, Jonah!”  they cried,
“get thee quickly topside,
and fervently beg your God to draw near!”

Now, Jonah knew that this storm was for him,
as in his heart he remembered his sin,
he thought he was sunk,
when they gave him the dunk,
and had to choose whether to sink or to swim.

As soon as Jonah met up with the ocean,
Both the winds and the waves ceased commotion,
then along came a whale,
and old Jonah grew pale,
as it swallowed him up in one motion!

Three long days in that big fish he stayed,
vowing never again would he stray,
relieved not to be dead,
and with kelp on his head,
onto dry land, our dear Jonah was sprayed!

Please, allow me, now this moral to mention,
that when the Lord God gives thee direction,
you must not delay,
set out right away,
His good judgment you must never question.

Should by chance, you hear God’s voice compelling,
“ head thee out to Bangladesh or New Delhi,”
best get on the right boat,
and pray that it floats,
lest you end up kelp covered and smelly!

Details | Limerick | |

Poor Poe - Jack Horn



There was a Sheila down under,
Whose dress sense was a big blunder,
She bent over, said,‘Grit’ -
As her tight trousers split,
And farted like claps of thunder!
There was an old man from Glencoe,
Whose kilt was made of itchy wool.
Like he had scores of fleas,
He scratched his hairy knees -
And parts where you don’t want to go!


There was Sheila visiting the land Glencoe,
She stared at this old man name Poe.
She was a corny young lady.
Laughed while he scratched his shady,
Than she smiled and said hello.

This old man Poe, was a fine dancer.
Who fell for Shelia's down under enhancer.
Down on his hairy knees,
He begged pretty please!
And confessed the fleas are really cancer.

A collaboration with * Jack Horn

My collaboration contest

Details | Limerick | |

There Once Was A Young Boy Called Tim

There once was a young boy called Tim,
Who decided the Mersey to swim,
Got in to his knees,
But started to freeze,
So decided it wasn't for him!

Details | Limerick | |

A Good Girl

Connie is actually a good girl.
She races horses around a barrel.
Why? I really do not know.
It’s some kind of cowgirl show.
Otherwise, Connie is a normal girl.

Details | Limerick | |

Victoria's Secret

With terrain and angles galore
Nature has objects to adore
But what is this glitch?
A non-working bra hitch
Hides the peaks we want to explore

Details | Limerick | |

Bow Pow

<                                    cakes and sausages on hot griddle
                                      uncle Leroy's dam dog just piddled
                                      slipped ~ slide across floor
                                      grabbed shotgun by front door
                                      now dam ole dog just plays an fiddle 

                            bow bow bow bow bow bow bow        bow ~ wow 
                            ow ow ow ow ow ow ow                       bow ~ ow 
                            with   tail    between     own  ~              legs 
                            now    dog    sings  ~    and  ~               brags
                            about cousin's daisies's  bad                 bow ~ pows

Entry For John Freeman's
Slapstick Limerick Contest
Gl All

Poor Ole Dog LOL

Details | Limerick | |


From a low, wind-swept bridge almost color beige,
I toss my fishing cane made in Anchorage,
hoping to catch some fish soon...
as I scorch in the hot noon;
if I failed again, it would increase my rage!

Details | Limerick | |

Airwave Pandemonium

With my recorder I pursued my quest
This assignment seemed like a courage test
     That’s why my boss sent me
     Knowing that fearless I’d be
Covering this race brought such happiness

Hundreds of hot air balloons in the sky
Conducted the interview one mile high
     But now as I reflect     
     What I didn’t expect
Was the loud blast that made the balloon fly

I thought it would be quiet as we flew
Over Doak Stadium up in the blue
     The radio report
     Ended up running short
When the pilot spoke, the hot air did spew

Every thirty seconds or so -- a blast
Interview literally filled with gas
     The edited version
     From this fun excursion
Left our radio listeners aghast

But viewing Chief Osceola’s emblem
From high above the football stadium
     A sight I’ll not forget
     I have just one regret
Creating airwave pandemonium

* As a radio reporter I was assigned to cover the Tallahassee Annual Hot Air Balloon 
Race.  We flew over Florida State University’s football stadium and it was a great 
view from the air.  But I had to edit out each blast of air when producing the report 
for Florida Public Radio.  Talk about a choppy radio report.  I should have 
interviewed the pilot BEFORE we took off.  Duh!  Ignorance was my plea to the 
news director -- I was later sentenced to ground duty.

July 20, 2011
Entry for Francine’s “Happiness is a Balloon” contest
Written by Carolyn Devonshire

Details | Limerick | |

Huntin' Fool

Buddy Ray George is a huntin’ fool,
Come opening day he goes and skips school;
He went out and shot a possum in the ass,
Then and there the doggone thing started passing gas,
But then again, it could also have been bloody stool.

Details | Limerick | |

Hawaiian Tropic of Cancer

With visual field microscopic
Some utterly blind and myopic
Consume to the max
As a luxury tax 
On those needing help philanthropic

Details | Limerick | |

February Funny Bone

                                 Once came along a groundhog named Phil
                                 Looked for shadow in winters chill
                                         Even top hat and coat
                                         Didn't stop whining's gloat
                                Stuck six more weeks paying heating bill                                 

Written by 
Katherine Stella 2/4/12
Entry For
Linda Marie's
February Funny Bone Contest

Details | Limerick | |

A Day At a Zoo

We went to the zoo
We met this tiger named sue
She was roaring at this man’s 
She clearly meant no harm
Maybe next time he should 
cover his tiger tattoo 

Details | Limerick | |

My Vacation

Well, this is how my vacation went;
 determined to stay in my camping tent.
The wind blew hard.
My tent sailed far.
I found it but all of the poles were bent.

Made it to Yellowstone after dark.
Didn't see the NO TENTS sign in the park.
Got mauled by a bear.
Moose in heat at me stares.
If he catches me, I'm sure it will smart!

I made it to the Old Faithful show.
First time ever she didn't blow.
My vacation sure did.
Next year I'll be hid;
 in the safety and comfort of my own home!

Contest: Vacation Humor
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire

Details | Limerick | |

Mountain Man

Jackson LeGrand is a big hardy mountain man.
He eats rocks for breakfast and pisses out sand.
He has outfoxed foxes and outrun deer.
Each Sunday he drinks his weight in beer.
He even has the nerve to eat spam straight from the can.

Details | Limerick | |

The Naked Truth

<                                our top story tonight is Lawyers
                                  a pain in the ass and real spoilers
                                  with  fancy cars homes suits
                                  fifteen hundred kaboot
                                  rather hire cowboy wearing just spurs

Entry For Carolyn Devonshire's 
Lawyer Limerick's Contest

GL All

Details | Limerick | |

All In The Family

<                          once Edith laid her hot iron flat
                            husband Archie called her his dingbat
                            then son-in-law ~ meathead
                            put iron on dam bed
                            boy fire did make Jefferson scat

Written By 
Katherine Stella 10/30/11
Entry For Techno - Limericks Contest 
To Be Co-Judge  G.L. All

Just Gotta Love That Archie LOL

Note Please Never Leave Your Iron On
Can Really Ruin Your Day Yikes

Details | Limerick | |

Prep Talk

<                                      Peter ~ Piper ~ picked ~ pickled .... peppers
                                        Ate ~ one ~ turned ~ into ~ hot ~ salsa ... stepper
                                                Cherry ~ Banana ~ ....  Bell 
                                         Boy - his - tongue - throat - did ... swell
                                         Couldn't ~ even ~ yell ~ at ~ packs ... prepper

Entry For
Destroyer {Poet's }
Pickles & Tickles Contest
G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |

Wacko Wally

Wacko Wally says he will be a MC.
He claims that someday he will be on TV.
He practices in the park.
He drones on well after dark.
His public nuisance arrests now number three.


Details | Limerick | |

First of May

"First of May"

When I was a child I ran away
To live with the circus in Bombay,
Where all things were new
And possible, too!
So, for this they called me "First of May"!

I started out selling concessions:
Hot! Popcorn! Hot! Peanuts! Confections!
But in my spare time,
I'd secretly climb
Into the Great Cannon--for missions!

My costume and cape were blue and grey,
Spark'ling like stars with each flight--Away!
By day selling fare--
Nights--Fly Through The Air!
Dreams do come true when you're "First of May"!*

deborah burch©

*Note: "First of May" is a circus term used to describe 'newbies' who come to the means that everything is new,exciting, fresh, and anything/everything is possible! :)

Details | Limerick | |

You Stink

<                            Once came along a super ninja
                              Dagger Nunchucks Gi sword Wala
                              Hiding in the sewer
                              Got covered with manure
                              Fear not his weapons but hands haha


Details | Limerick | |

Fire In The Hole

<                                        once there was ten devious children
                                          oh how they did a poor little sin
                                          brother had passed some gas
                                          they lit match to his ass
                                          dam dog was even wearing a grin

Entry For
John Freeman's
Giggle Poetry Contest # 2
G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |


no doudt get out
stop beening along
go to rome
fine where you belong
go  dance prance
go to the beach run
lay in the sun

Details | Limerick | |

Lesson Learned

Homeboy Skank Mann Blue was strolling down the street,
Dancing to the music, bopping to the beat.
Four cops bum rushed him and knocked him on his ass,
After nearly blinding him with pepper gas.
Lesson learned, the big bad popo own this street.

Details | Limerick | |

Lonely Lou

Lonely Lou was no fool.
He went to an all-girls school.
The principal said: “What The Hey!”
He expelled the boy on his first day.
Lou did get a couple of phone numbers so now he’s cool.   

Details | Limerick | |


Sky as infinite as deep thoughts,
foaming sea emitting sparkles,
glances brightened by romance,
a sweet urge to dance...
enjoying the peace of late hours.

Inspired by Linda-Marie's photo ps.JT76945.jpg
written by Andrew Crisci

Details | Limerick | |

Oh Snap

<                              amidst afternoon's summer's pose / nap
                                are nana's two little handsome chaps
                                logan and just lucas
                                bonded secured by trust
                                brotherly love now don't make me snap
Written By Katherine Stella 5/15/11

Entry For Miranda Lambert's
Brotherly Love Contest

Details | Limerick | |

Who Knew-Peru

There once was a flawed broad named Maude
who wished to spend Christmas abroad
she ate Christmas dinner
with penniless sinners
for that was all Maude could afford.

Well ole Maude brought them black tea from China
and chocolate cakes from a diner
they ate guinea pig
and many a fig
while Maude poured them wine from Carolina.

Yes you've guessed it, I see that you knew
in Peru they eat Guinea Pigs in stew 
they wear colorful hats
and watch out for black bats
Maude's dinner will be in Cusco, Peru


Details | Limerick | |


There was a young boy
Charming and cute, king of his toy
      during his youth
      He lost his first tooth
In his eyes he'll still marry Helen of Troy.


Details | Limerick | |

Uh Oh

Jimmy Joe Cosgrove went out to ski,
While skiing he had to pee,
He tried to slow down,
But he skis like a clown,
And slammed smack dab into a tree.

Details | Limerick | |

Once Bitten Twice Shy!

There once was a lion so dread
His trainer must keep him well fed
For if this bad lion
Got hungry for Brian
Old Brian might just end up dead!

Ole Leo the lion acclaimed
Like to play the “I’m so sweet” game
Slow Brian was lulled
And his arm it was culled
Now, the zoo’s out a lion it seems! 

Details | Limerick | |

Girl From Nantucket

I once knew a girl from Nantucket 
Who chased down a goose, just to pluck it
As she ran, took a spill
So he gave her a quill
And I guess we all know, where he stuck it

Just not clean enough for contests---lol

Details | Limerick | |

Let's Get Ready For Some Football

<                                   let's get ready for some football .....    Ya !
                                     Eagles   verses    da   .....   Bears   Well ... then  Hey !       
                                     Here's kickoff ~ by     da .......    Bears
                                     Ohhhhhhhh !  fell  off ....  T  .....    Unfair
                                     Second  ..... blocked  .....  Eagles    7 - Nay !


Entry For 
Linda Marie's 
Let's Limerick Contest
G.L. All    

Tribute To Football

Details | Limerick | |

A Dish Best Served Red

There once was a girl name of Hood
who walked tall, as every girl should.
She tossed over her head
a cover of bright red
and ventured out into the wood.

She carried a black riding crop
and critters she’s stop with a pop.
But, Ole Dracula saw her
and made her his daughter 
Now, the blood bank is her first stop.

Well, sweet Red, she still loved her Grandma
so, though pale she went with a camera.
But who did she find
that awfull nighttime
in the cottage, was it her Grandma???

Red Riding hood took a look see?
beneath the night cap, who was she?
Long teeth, she had four,
her hands, they were paws
So Red fed, with a “Tee hee hee hee!”

*Little Red Riding Hood spoof for "Happily Ever After?"

Details | Limerick | |

Quit Your Growling

<          once there was old woman on the prowl
            found younger man and begun to howl
            under silvery moon
            fead him with baby spoon
            now stomach does goo goo gah gah grawls

Written By Katherine Stella

Entry For Dr. Ram's Cougar Effect Contest 
G.L. All                                                                

Details | Limerick | |

Rock Paper Scissors

<                          I once played rock paper and scissors
                            never dreamed theres so many gizzards
                            somehow loves this game too
                            well I just said oh phoo
                            and had to show them who was wizzard

Details | Limerick | |

Where's a Highlander to Be

It's another year round the corner
That leaves this Highlander to ponder
It's New Year's Resolution time
What's in this boy's mind
Could it be to adventure out yonder

*   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~    *   ~   *

So where would this Highlander be
A captain on a yacht going to sea
With a beautiful blond
Sharing their literal fond
Round the coast of the land of the free

*   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~    *   ~   *   

When sailing these oceans of blue
Just what would the pair of them do
Maybe some fishing
Or moonlight kissing
Whilst the seabirds fly over and go phew!

*   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~    *   ~   *   

Eventually we would have to hit land
And continue to go on as we planned
The head back out to sea
It's where were happy to be
Skinny dipping, loved up and so tanned

Details | Limerick | |

The Further Adventures Of Mr. Laurel And Mr. Hardy.

Stanleys' plane circles wild, fro and aft.
Ollie screamed up: " Throw me a raft!"    Oh Ho Oh Ho Oh Ho Oh Ho.
with gathering gators
I won't be here later
One just gave my drawers a big draft.  OhhhOhhh....

When they opened the gator to see
which intestine poor Ollie might be.
He plops out pratfall
then looks at us all
and smiles: " hm hm hm, I'm still me."

Stanley: " But I thought.. I thought you were eaten..oo whooo whoo whoo..."
Oliver looks at us, shrugs  and throws his arms up.
( Cue music.)
Coo Coo  Coo Coo, Coo Coo 


This is inspired by Miss Carrie Richards, one of the best. 
This Is Another Fine Mess You've Gotten ME Into, Stanley...

Details | Limerick | |

Boris Watch out for Squirrel

There once was a gal from motor city
who drove a Prius to give her celebrity.
Her guy drove a Ford
and cursed her “Oh, Lord!”
Their divorce was a forgone necessity!

Their children, a boy and a girl, 
took sides and gave each car a whirl.
The girl took the Ford
the boy took the Concorde?
Both lost control and hit a squirrel?

Mom and Dad, Madge and Lars said “Good grief!”
You two kids, “Go get jobs, BUY A Leaf!!!
ride a bike, or a tyke
row a boat, take a hike
"Give the keys over please. You’re relieved!”

*The kids names were Boris and Natasha ;)

Details | Limerick | |

This Path we Walk

As we walk like children holding hands , swinging our arms together as we walked slowly through the blanket of the Autumn leaves. The path we walk is as it were never ending .The tall forest trees that lined each side , appeared to funnel off to the distant open sky . Sun now setting leaving a Orange sky that blended with the leaves all about us . That cool evening breeze upon our glowing faces . The whisper of the trees as they swayed in the wind , but the loudest sound of it all was the beating of our hearts . No it was not just the chill of the wind that made our faces glow , it was the love in our hearts that showed. Yes we were children for that moment , full of innocents of a love so pure at heart, a love so true , nothing could tear it apart . A love that memories are made of  and dreams that come true .There is nothing so good as the love you have for me and I for you.
  The path we walk that seemed to go on forever , was actually our love through out our lives ,as we travel together through it.

Details | Limerick | |

Sons Of An Zeus Man

<                           once came along pair gemini twins
                             castro and pollux from third sign in
                             well sons of an zeus man
                             all from mercury clan
                             sharing wealth of intelligence sin

                            with ever compatible libra scales
                            along with aquarius that wales
                            fire signs given few
                            pisces they known too
                            beneath sun and moon's with semi's tale

Written By Katherine Stella  6/26/11

Entry For Nette Onclaud's
Zodiac Zones Contest
G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |


i don't play game
am not insane
i do the right thing
do what love bring
thinl you mama

Details | Limerick | |


As he unbuttoned her blouse
he soon  became aroused
She unbuttoned his shirt
and took of her skirt
He didn't know about her spouse

Then the doorbell rang
It was her husband Stan
He buttoned up his shirt
She pulled up her skirt
he  went out the window and away he ran

Details | Limerick | |

Bull o ney!

I was travelin’ one day in Monroe
when I met a fair maid with a hoe.
Her garden was full.
Then in came the bull
so, she thought why not steak to go!

Her cupboard was bare, no meat was there!
And she liked her kabobs med’um rare…
She thought of baloney
but then, naw, that’s phony....
and she booked for that bull on a tear!

*Please read Constance’s (A Rambling Poet’s) Limerick Baloney!

Line 1 9
Line 2 9
Line 3 5
Line 4 5
Line 5 9

Line 1 9
Line 2 9
Line 3 6
Line 4 6
Line 5 9


Details | Limerick | |

Who Let The Dogs Out ? { The DogGone Dog Contest}

<                              tell me now   Who ! Who ! ~  Let The Dogs Out ?
                                bet Carolyn pulling them by snouts ......
                                fleas ...  ticks....  she started to itch /////
                                screaming  sons of  a  ....... b .i...t...c....h
                                poor neighbor's dog now takes different route
Entry For
Andrea Dietrich's
The DogGone Dog Contest
G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |



if i were an invisible hood
a flight to Washington is my mood
i'd sneak into Bill Gates
snatch his billion crates
and snoop on secrets hushed by rich brood

how he snores, bathes, and blows his short fuse
a fly i’ll be primed for TIME’s scoop news
my bank book will swell
interviews I’ll tell
if Bill’s guards won’t sniff my stinking booze 


(( for Michael Falotico's "  A Fly on the Wall" Contest))

Details | Limerick | |

Super Bowl Sunday

Statistical Sunday that starts fights
Along with bringing many delights
One simple cowhide ball
So called centralized thrall
Bringing outward competitive rights

Written for

Sponsor Royal Trevino 

Details | Limerick | |

The under water solution

When the money is mostly spent
Find the lowest terms for the rent
A car on a train
Protects well from the rain
But better yet let's get a tent

Details | Limerick | |


There is a submarine periscope  
that's staring intently.  Let us hope 
that our frail little boat's 
got aboard stuff that floats.  
All I have is this Soap-on-a-Rope.

Details | Limerick | |

Trader Joe

<                           once there was a man named trader Joe
                             could do nothing with hair so let grow
                             under big coonskin hat
                             fleas tick and his pet rat
                             mercantile's just say Oh Hell No

                            once there was saloon name lucky spur
                            where traders brought in their hunted furs
                            in walks old trader Joe
                            miss Molly said let's go
                            now both itch scratch from leftover burrs

Details | Limerick | |

Menage a Trois

A possum fell in love with a 'coon
And they spooned by the light of the moon
In pet igloo they snoozed
cause the cat took a cruise,
they hoped he wouldn’t come home too soon!

Well, Ole Blackie the cat was real fat
So, his pet food he shared “How ‘bout that!” 
all ate from his bowl
Or so I am told
By the jay in the trees bold chit chat.

Ah true love did we see in the three
the Jay thought why not let them all be
he stopped all the gossips
the biddy’s and trollops
and encouraged this equality!

Details | Limerick | |


its make s you cry
make you lie
feel like you won't die
it has a beat
that gets underneat

Details | Limerick | |

A Pirate

A Pirate

There once was a pirate called Mangon
Who raped the High Seas with a fangen*
But one night at Port
They captured the sport
Now crows rape his bones where he's hangin'!

~deborah burch

For ~PD's "Posted this month: April Poem" contest

*note: fangen (fanging)---"moving at outrageous speeds;
desire something greatly; to need badly")
also: "to seize; grab"

Details | Limerick | |

My Sweet Ride

~ There once was a car that never did start it sputtered and spit and even did fart I love that car dear to lose it I fear I shall never forsake that quaint Dodge Dart Each memory of joy of days long ago still fill my heart in times I feel low you are my sweet ride for we stand side by side although our time spent is a time in-tow ~ "Contest" LOL

Details | Limerick | |

Pay Up

<                    hes my banker and my heads horseman
                      calling bounty on anothers land
                      hark the herald angels
                      I think this game is swell
                      now thimble owes me sixty five grand

Written by Katherine Stella

Entry For Judy Konos's
Monopoly The Game Of Life Contest
G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |

Twelve Seconds

<                    Once was a bartender named Louie
                      Thought my tales story was quite screwy                                     
                      Asked how many seconds
                      Was in year he reckons
                      Twelve shouted out by cousin dewey

Entry For
Confession To A Bartender


Details | Limerick | |

Just Wait Until I Get Home

<                        once popped cork on bottle of red wine
                          hit brother in eye oh how it did shine
                          seen him go pick up bat
                          boy did I ever scat
                          right to canadian's boarder line

                          feeling like her dansel in-distress
                          along came three county mounties best
                          asked if nipping bottle
                          at fast paces throttle
                          answered yes now did I pass your test

                           tossed in pokie for now twenty days
                           poor ole missy now won't and get laid
                           darn brother wins again
                           wearing smitten hugh grin
                           wait until that welt begins to fade  

Written 6/20/11

Entry For Francine Robert's
Bottle Of Wine
Limericks Only Contest
G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |

Short Trip

I'm saving it all down to my last nickel
For for a trip that may sound to you radical.
Recycling my cans
And planning my plans
I'm about to take a short sabbatical.

I pack all my stuff in the car
Including my gas money jar
It's a full as can be,
A whole buck ninety-three.
It's okay, I'm not going very far.

About one mile out of town I start yearnin'
Last year I went three (seems I'm learning)
I say, "Aww phooey!"
And then flip a U-ey
'Cause the best part of vacation is returnin'.

Details | Limerick | |

Off Rangoon

Off Rangoon a typhoon my balloon 
it has strewn.  Unfortun-ately, soon 
this spittoon, this mad drain; 
becomes a hurricane 
then spits me out, a prune, off Cancun.

Details | Limerick | |

Driving the streets of Mumbai

The streets of Mumbai have a different motif, 
That will fill your head with complete disbelief. 
The rules that you know,
Will all be too slow,
As you flutter around like a leaf.

The torment of traffic starts when you go,
Cuz whatever you do you just cannot know.
They zim and zam,
And thank you ma’m,
Your wits about you, you’ll just have to show.

Lane markers if any are completely a scam,
In the space you may fit with a slight bam-bam.
On the left and the right,
It will seem quite a sight,
But it will keep you out of a jam. 

The motto of course is “Might has Right”
Doesn’t matter if you’re dumb or if yer bright.
Get out of my way,
Is to survive today,
And heavens don’t stop for a light.

Approaching a turn on the left you’ll stay, 
But it’s likely to cause your head to sway.
Horns will sound, 
But don’t look around,
Or in the middle you’ll be of the fray.

Tuk-tuks by the thousands are chief,
As they ply the streets like a thief.
On a prayer and a song,
You’ll drive real strong,
And a safe journey you’ll have with relief!

Details | Limerick | |

My Root

Behind the black mountain and hills
to the fruitful soil and shady rills
down south of Bauchi state stays
the civilized Zaar people race
sweet home of sweet wills

the origin of the nobler praise
sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa of those days
the name that makes our story thrills
as a contry from a village of skills
we are the sun, fit to shine the world with 
our rays

Details | Limerick | |


soon be time again
meet new friends
as you check in
for new year 
some dress as a bear
some will call al and hal
be girls and boys

Details | Limerick | |

Spaced Out

There once was a Vulcan named Spock He got sad when some people would mock His strange pointy ears He would burst into tears... So he finally had both of them cropped! There once was a Captain named Kirk It was well known that he was a jerk! When the Enterprise docked And he saw Mister Spock He scoffed at those chopped ears that hurt!! Each one of the Enterprise crew Knew that Spock's self-esteem was so blue So they grabbed Captain Kirk By his feet and his shirt And tossed from the spaceship he flew!! Mister Spock's ears had finally healed through He pierced each with earrings brand new Captain Kirk in disgrace Floats in deep outer space What became of him?....nobody knew!! All evidence was quickly erased And the killers have left not a trace Although Kirk may be gone... He lives now, in re-runs...., so,... "trekkies" are still seeing his face!!

Details | Limerick | |


w can if we stand
be  a wall
that don't fall
nuthin you and i can't do
we love each other too
so let go on forever

Details | Limerick | |

My Favorite Devonshire

~~Backstage Disaster~~ 

Learned lots of things in theater workshop class
I was surprised when I learned I had passed
     Just one tool I'd not mastered
     The great Nail Gun Disaster
I had nailed the director in the _ss


I only come to read a few poems, once a month. After reading Carolyn’s funny limerick, she encouraged the limerick I entered In Pd’s contest.
Two of the greatest women I follow throughout the soup site.
All her poems are full of inspiration.  :D

Details | Limerick | |

Indian Simmer

There once was a sweet Shawnee squaw
Who left home and Ma and her Paw 
They had given her life
But he’d wanted a WIFE!
So she left with that brave Checotah.

The Checotah brave was a knave
Made his fine Shawnee bride his slave
she ditched his rawhide
And left on his ride
That’ll teach that guy to behave!

Well, the horse was a fine pinto mare
Who loved men and for squaws had NO care
the woman got off
The mare she caste off
And returned to the Checotah’s lair!

Details | Limerick | |

Quit Wasting My Time { Edit }

<                               One by one they'll shall roll on and come
                                 Like soldiers marching to beaten drums
                                 Echoes  are acknowledge
                                 Cast across thy arched bridge
                                 Haste makes waste even for everyone

Inspired By
Carolyn Devonshire's Contest
Follower Or Leader
GL All

Details | Limerick | |

Meeses in Pieces!

Ole Blackie the cat lapped his chin
his Ma had put milk out ag'in 
he'd brought her a mouse
and left it right out!
she saw it and screamed, then ran in!

Details | Limerick | |

Just For Kicks

<             just like football i am like the queen
               now hand over remote or i'll scream
               black and blue division
               on my television
               Kicking Jay Cutlers butt I do dream

Entry For
Kristen Bruni's 
Football Contest
G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |

Sailor's Lament

There once was a sailor named Baelon
Who loved nothin' better than sailin'
But when he returned
His new bride he learned
Had given him 10 babes a' wailin'

~deborah burch

Details | Limerick | |

You're Going To Get It Now But Good

<                             once there was an old cat named chessur
                               only listened to alice for sure
                               but sometimes dissappeared 
                               and left behind grins smear
                               so I've gone mad and shaved off hides fur

Entry For Debbie Guzzi's
Go Ask Alice Contest
        G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |

I Love Lucy

<          once there was a redhead gal name lucy
            now skit comes to mind is real juicy
            job switching with the men
            conveyer belt takes a spin
            chocolate oh how did she loosey

Entry For Shani Fassbender's
Favorite Television Show / Episode Remembered

I Chose I Love Lucy

Written By Katherine Stella 7/1/11

Details | Limerick | |

'You're Going to Break Your Neck'

~~~"You're Going To Break Your Neck ! " ~~~

I see red and orange amidst the green.
Occasionally faces can be seen
hiding in the branches there, 
climbing trees without a care
and I order them down 'cause I'm just mean.

They're up above the ground, oh so high.
Any closer and they could touch the sky.
"Hey you, get your butt down!"
I bellow , with a frown
and they grudgingly climb down with a sigh.

Memories are short and they're up there again.
My nerves are starting to feel the strain.
"Get out of that tree right now!"
I holler like a mad cow.
Acting responsible is just a pain.

The sun is out and the kids are wild.
The poor trees out front are now defiled.
Beneath the tree is now found
broken branches all around,
but at least no broken bones of a child.

~~not 'the end,' I'm sure~~~

Details | Limerick | |

On The Hunt


She hid in powdered face and red lips
at the lounge much white wine she did sip
and when on the prowl
she'd find a night owl
cause, this "Cougar" she shot from the hip.....

Contest ~ "Cougar Effect"

Poet~ Rick Parise

Details | Limerick | |

Shhhhhhhooosh Ma's Sleeee eep? ing?

There was a fine marm from Bushing
who bare bottomed, pushed into a cushion
while half asleep
her children in creep
and woke her with all of their shooshing!

Details | Limerick | |



I hiked down to my old fish'in hole
one BIG "Rainbow Trout" was my goal
got nothing but snags
lost a whole jar of eggs
and into the lake went my pole


Details | Limerick | |


it was nice weather
we all got together
hand this plan
for a picnic  stand
so we could dip
and pop some whips
on this

Details | Limerick | |

My Dog

My dog was gripping my leg,

as I hung my coat on a peg.

Along came the cat.

Brown, furry and fat.

Rolling along like an egg.

Details | Limerick | |

Lock Up

<                             once there was a girl locked in closet
                               dear old dad said well thats what you get
                               little did he come know
                               let out by little bro
                               but recaptured by moms fishing net 

Entry For Leighann Anderson's
Sea Of Words Contest
G.L. All                               

Details | Limerick | |

Bill And Monica - Limerick

     Bill And Monica - Limerick

There once was a girl called Monica
Bill played her like a harmonica
Placed cigars in her rear 
News said that was queer
Both caught on surveillance electronica

Details | Limerick | |


Foreman was a dog of a man, Talked and bullied all he can, Johnson hesitated, he got frustrated, beetroot surely hit the spam, ham. john freeman Contest Name Limericks Hilarious

Details | Limerick | |


be ware of this
bad money exist
so here's a tip
bit your lip
some turn down
its around
well warp
call the 
some calls you honey
watch the

Details | Limerick | |

Musical Mojo

I once knew a fiddler named jo jo
He chose to live life as a hobo
He traveled with freight
Through city and state
sustained by that musical mojo

Details | Limerick | |

Letter to Home

When I look around... I See that It's abound
 Whatever it Is... It wants Peace 
 Peace of mind... An everlastingly Bind
 No racketeering... It isn't Blind
 It Sees More than what you see.

Details | Limerick | |

Old Man Moe

Everyone Called Him Old Man Moe,

Living Free Like A Hobo.

He Once Hopped A Train

In The Driving Rain

But, Slipped And Lost His Big Toe.

Details | Limerick | |

Mary's Berries

A big breasted Maine lassie named Mary
cooked lobsters for her fisherman Harry.
She leaned over the pot
to check out the whole lot
and two pincers grabbed Mary's ripe berries!

Then out rushed her fine fisherman Harry
in his arms a wood bat he did carry
he swung at the critters
and smashed them to fritters
thus saving our fair Mary's raspberries!

rhyme pattern a/a/b/b/a

category VISUAL/ Naughty

Details | Limerick | |


I dreamt of numbers on jackpot tracks Sold my watch to buy hundreds of bucks For gooey lotto dream spin And proclaimed I was all in... Won five bonus dollars, boy that sucks! © . . . Contest: Susan Burch’s Lottery Ticket Limerick

Details | Limerick | |

Scared Clean

Scared Clean

A gentleman wanting to scare
His wife, started out getting quite bare
Climbed into the machine
That got his clothes clean
To wait for his wife to get there

When his wife finally opened the lid
Of the washing machine in which he hid
She was really surprised
By the look in his eyes
And not because of something he did

You see, curled up, this man with no clothes
His muscles and joints simply froze
In spite of his tussle
Could not budge a muscle
No matter the movement he chose

The wife had to call 911
To get her poor husband undone
As they tried not to laugh
With an olive oil bath
His freedom he finally one

And just what did we learn from this man?
It is something you must understand.
Don’t wedge yourself in
In a laundry bin
Just because you think you can

And even within you own house
Playing hide and seek with your own spouse
If scared’s what you’re after
And not just her laughter
Getting naked I would not espouse

Uncle Mike

Details | Limerick | |

Let's Duke It Out

<                   Once came along an man named John Wayne
                     Winchester by his side causes more pain                           
                     Dusty trails ballroom brawls
                     Battlefield's muddy crawls
                     The duke of western inflicting gains

Details | Limerick | |

The Brave Buccaneer

There was once a buccaneer
They say he sailed the seas with fear.
    Of his stories told
    Of his bravery so bold,
For he went nowhere, for he could not steer.

Details | Limerick | |


if is nice don't think twice
if its bad am sad
to be near  a well
thats has a bad

Details | Limerick | |

A fellow named Bill

There was once a fellow named Bill                     
Who mastered an unusual skill                           
The skill was dope                                               
It involved rope                                                    
Which pulled him up the hill                                 

Details | Limerick | |

Up A Creek Without A Paddle

<                              once this girl had seen her own shadow
                                got scared begun to wag and waddle
                                crossed over center line
                                hit by semi's behind 
                                now shes up creek without a paddle 

Writen by Katherine Stella

Entry For Rick Parise's 
Shadows And Lines Contest
G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |


Fine horses they ride through the glen
A beautiful maid sleeps within
Brambles hold them at bay
Letting love find the way
Even knights give up in the end

Details | Limerick | |

February funny bone

Linda-Marie The Sweetheart of P.S. Contest Name FEBRUARY FUNNY BONE Me Valentine Me Valentine flashed past, bugger it, With some Galah, from Garah, a Tom Twit, Not needed for procreation, I’ve lost yet another sweet ‘lation,’ (relation) Sure of it, just having a blue black fit. Don Johnson

Details | Limerick | |


tho we're far apart
your in my heart
this is how love start
when am blue
your on my mind too

Details | Limerick | |


be aware 
as they stare
some on the take
there game is fake
they think your dumd

Details | Limerick | |

Boy Am I Hungry

Battle of the bulge
From greesy foods love to divulge
Over lips and through the gums
Love handles now do come
When will I learn not to indulge

Details | Limerick | |


There once was a boy of three
Ricky was just as cute as could be
He got a bottle of orange pop
From his Grandpa's barbershop
Which leads to great adventures, says he

Follow the adventures of Soda Pop with Richard Lamoureus

Details | Limerick | |

Aussie kilt

Aussie stood in his chaff bag kilt, bandy knees, didna give it, it's tilt, the steam was arising too, just come from woolloloo, shiela said "man, Gawd but he's built." thanks Dave Williams.... Nette, if ya got it flaunt it, some shiela said that's torn, wit, Aussie kilts are yet denied, though we have the Scottish pride, just a promise it will fit:) Don Johnson

Details | Limerick | |

A fellow named Joe

There was once a fellow named Joe 
Who saved money for an expensive bow                                                
The bow was awesome
Used to kill an opossum                                 
Which won him a trophy in a show 

Details | Limerick | |

His Trip To The Moon limerick

There once was a boy we called chase-face
he dreamed of reaching outer space.
With this dream in his heart
our family will part
and this boy we never could replace.

We all dreaded that day late in June
when we knew he would fly to the moon.
So a party we had
even though we were sad
as the countdown was scheduled for noon.

Chase couldn't get rid of the grin
or the drool that was right on his chin.
He was laughing so loud 
while we stood watching proud.
His journey would finally begin.

The trip was a total success.
Of course, we expected no less.
We've done all we can.
He now is a man
and all that he sees he will bless. 

Details | Limerick | |

A Drunken Tale

Over lips and through da gums
Hooked minno is going down some
Depth by depth there she sinks
Hooked a dam dogfish oh how that stinks
Pulled anchor and now drowning in rum

Tribute To Fishing
Also Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Sea Tale Limericks
GL All

Details | Limerick | |

change makes cents

evolution isnt a scam
progression is all that i am
so hurdles i clear
without any fear
means i dont need parts of a ram..

Details | Limerick | |

Butcher Cassidy and the Sunshine Juice

There once was a butcher named Cassidy,
Who had a tremendous capacity,
To drink orange-juice all day,
And most will say,
He was good at this talent you see

Each day by one or two,
His skin took on a tangerine hue
And his eyes turned to two yellowish orbs
Yet he drank more juice,
And there was no use
In trying to squeeze him some more

Butcher Cassidy lived that way,
Till his dying day
And he was buried in a Chinese grave yard...
For he had turned permanently yellow
This juice-addicted fellow
That's just what OJ can do

And come next spring
To surprise evryone
From pauper to king
From the graveyard
Nature did bring,
A grove of orange trees

Some say when they pass
the orange-juice aisle
And if they linger awhile,
And urge for ribs and juice
Will come their way
And nothing else will do
So watch your intake of juice
Before the orange demon is let loose
And your life will end in dismay.

Details | Limerick | |

Tyrannosaurus Bob

Tyrannosaurus Bob is who I am.
You herbivore dinos had better scram.
When I have an appetite,
I will give you a big bite.
I never settle for just eggs and ham.

It’s Jurassic time.
Dinosaurs are on the earth.
The big reptiles rule.

Details | Limerick | |


everyone plays apart
frist let started
by reaching out
for those who are demanding

Details | Limerick | |


stay alert
there be some jerk
will to block or stop
the good stuff
don't get decuess
god with us
sucess we will web

Details | Limerick | |


Out in the World
A mind is found
And starts a life 
Of Love and Strife

Details | Limerick | |

Samantha's Tree

Samantha once scampered a tree
To see whatever she could see.
So far up did she boost
That an owl came to roost
On Sammy's precarious knee.

Details | Limerick | |


Undoubtably Half brained is normal me, sucking boiling hot black tea, hundred degrees, shade outside, Aussies drink hot tea inside, Yet enjoy,undoubtably Don Johnson Sponsor Francine Roberts Contest Name Pick a Beverage, any Beverage

Details | Limerick | |

Vatican Incident - Limerick

     Vatican Incident - Limerick 

A young maiden dressed like a mannequin 
Snuck into the church at the Vatican
To curse at the pontiff 
So they called the sheriff  
She would not be invited back again 

Details | Limerick | |

State Fair

There once was a woman named Shar,
Who went to her local State Fair,
Her husband came too,
Can't say no to you,
And they were quickly thrown out of there

Details | Limerick | |


Many wonder what Andrew likes...
he likes the thrill of flying kites!
He does shout when one rises!
Will he win many prizes?
He laughs...knowing he fantasizes!

Details | Limerick | |

The Race to Dublin

We would run in a race to Dublin 
The way we were, we could not begin.
From the start, we were through
Mack only had one shoe.
Me, I was stuck in mud to my chin.

Details | Limerick | |

Holy Crap

Na- Nu Na-Nu
greetings earthlings How do you do
I'm captain Zendor from planet Sur Render 
shazbot someone crashed into my spaceship's fender
hit me so hard made me go krap-poo

Details | Limerick | |

I Fell In Love

I fell in love; my heart goes thump, thump.
You, dear one, a beautiful tree stump.
Creases that shine so clear.
Your presence, calls me near.
Say you love me, while I have this bump.

My heart craves in desire, for your rings.
Fire burns inside, as the minstrel sings.
Your caress sometimes rough,
I am your man; I am tough.
Say you will be mine, please, my lust springs.

My darling, thus true, you are my stump.
Adore resting on you, on my rump.
I ache for answer, soon.
Before the budding moon,
My sweet love, do not make me a chump.

Details | Limerick | |

Daves crappppppp

oh shirtey methinks yer very good, laughing here, well understood, headless chicckys jerk n flap, bout pollys splashed by word of yap, speak straight they only could? thank you Dave Williams (crap)... Don

Details | Limerick | |

Lotto Limerick

Lotto Limerick

Got the winning numbers in me head,   
Dreamed the buggers while in me bed,
Gave em to, newspaper Dan,  
Plugged em in, sure can,  
Wrong day, no way, so damn frustrated.

Contest: Susan Burch’s Lottery Ticket Limerick

Details | Limerick | |


Certain stuff’s better left hidden
Eden has fruit that’s forbidden
Pandora’s sweet box
Might release toxic pox
So where’s the pills penicillin?

Details | Limerick | |


There's a ripped, good looking guy...
gals, don't assume he's quite and shy!
Watch how he models:
he flexes his muscles...
winking at ladies strolling by!

Details | Limerick | |

St George Did Not Fight a Dinosaur

A dragon is not a dinosaur. Those reptiles do not live anymore. Saint George was a liar. Dragons do not breathe fire. That was all a product of folklore. They’re extinct reptiles. Larger than the ones today. Dinosaurs are gone.

Details | Limerick | |


Like a castaway on the cosmic sea,
life has been a mystery to me
what can I do now, or say,
but think of my yesterdays,
now my soul, and spirit will be free

Details | Limerick | |

Baubles, Bangles, And Nose Bleeds

You Quiz-puzzlers out there,
I hope you take care,
And don't sucumb to high blood pressure,
Please don't implode like the good sub, U.S.S. Thresher,
So take it in stride,
With the answers I do hide,
And you'll wake up all that much fresher

Details | Limerick | |


there once was a dog named clyde
his owner did take him to ride
on arrival I swear
they sheared all of his hair
now all that he wants, is to hide

Details | Limerick | |


Royal Trevino Contest Name Birds and the bees Good ole Clive he said to me, Bee’s aint buzzing decently, Mobile phones got their number, Buzz like a bent cucumber, broody bird said recently. Don Johnson

Details | Limerick | |

Uisge/ A Water Horse's Tale

There was a dark Uisge from Loch Ness
who fancied a tasty Baroness,
he lured her astride
with the on coming tide
and all that was found was her dress.

Details | Limerick | |

Prince Charming

there once was a poor man named Dave
who was treated much like a slave
a vacation they took
and while casting his hook
he hooked for his princess a wave!

Details | Limerick | |


it was  where we got down
was a very small town
we listen to music sound
alway  freind around
we had love amongs us
together did lots of stuff
some times thing got ruff

Details | Limerick | |


you have what it take
to bake a cake
you kept me awake
thinking of you
and all you do
no matter where you are
your my

Details | Limerick | |


some fellow the white coats call spade
perceived a great fortune be made
as a new day arose
drew great birds on his toes
escaping  the white coats dismayed

Details | Limerick | |

Wee Willie

There once was a guy called Wee Willie
Who chased every old mare and filly
He was welcomed around 
Every bedroom in town
For his willie was really a dilly

Details | Limerick | |

Top Secret

My tactics in the battle of the bulge
The secret I hasten to divulge
     To neither women or man
     But I’ve decided I can
The secret wasn’t to over indulge

By Robb A. Kopp
All Rights Reserved © MMX

Details | Limerick | |

Wet Feet

there once was a child from the city
who grew up in fear.. what a pity

she cried millions of tears
and was ignored fifty years

now in a puddle she scribbles this ditty

Details | Limerick | |


as i sit and blink
and think
sometime wink
and not kink
to knowas  i go
be free to be what i won't be
you see
there's no measure

Details | Limerick | |

First Fear of Freedom

             He cringes in fear, his legs wobble,  his young wings scared stiff;

                     below the nest yawns a dark, deathly chasm of  what if;

                                                   plunges into space,

                                            flaps, slows down the pace;

               ah, new-found  freedom of flight,  across, around the home cliff !

Details | Limerick | |

Sea Parrot

Under the sea lived a parrot.
She loved to play with a ferret.
Then upon one day,
In the month of May,
They both shared a yellow carrot.

Details | Limerick | |


Summer why can't you come faster?
The only thing I praise is that I'm able to see the sun's shower.
I play through the days and nights.
Hoping June will come and be my Knight.
I don't think I'll make it past this year, without the Summer getting queer.

Details | Limerick | |

Guardian of the Deep

The blue Sea’s waves overwhelm
Seasoned Sailor at the Helm
Sharp teeth in the deep
Rough seas secrets keep
Demon guards his murky realm

Details | Limerick | |


there once was a witch called grisselle
who had eaten her cat.. but tail
just beginning to purr
she at once did concur
that at this one spell.. she would fail

Details | Limerick | |


I once knew an old man named Paul
who once with his back to the wall
did leap out with a yell
and what stories did tell
of runners who ran till they crawl..

Details | Limerick | |


Whistler's Mother

looked so mild,

but she was the mother

of another child.

she was the mother

of my other brother

she actually was real wild!

Copyright McCuen 2008

Details | Limerick | |

Flying the Union Jack

A fine buccaneer broached the scene
Some called the man Jack, Jacqueline
for behind cabin doors
the fine dresses he wore
did rival the gowns of the Queen.

Details | Limerick | |


 don't try
its do or die
here;s why
don't cry
get as you began
do it with a grim

Details | Limerick | |


if you can
than make demand
and have plan
don't wait
we all make mistake

Details | Limerick | |


The firecrackers are so loud;

they can draw a very big crowd.

When they pop they form a cloud;

Lit my first one, sure was proud!

     Copyright McCuen 2008

Details | Limerick | |


Welcome to the looney-bin
Filled with nuts and screws,
Where everyone is bound to win
And feature in the news.

We're topsy-turvy, upside-down,
Standing on our heads;
Some of us are dressed like clowns--
Others are simply dead!

Keep your shoes on, hold your coat,
so you can get away
Whenever your heart's in your throat
And you can't bear to stay.

Until then enjoy the ride
And how the story goes;
In corners the mind will hide
As 'magination flows!

Details | Limerick | |

That's Nat

an ugly old woman named Nat
wore pants on her head for a hat

with her skirt upside down
she pranced through the town

while we asked of each other "What's THAT?"

Details | Limerick | |

Sealed with a Kiss

There was a fair Silkie named Bride
who lost her seal skin, her fine hide,
by the light of the moon
a lover became groom
and she never returned to the tide.