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Life Angst Poems | Life Poems About Angst

These Life Angst poems are examples of Life poems about Angst. These are the best examples of Life Angst poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme | |

What Only Angles Hear

Daddy never did understand.
That violence doesnt bring comfort.
A lost soul seeking acceptance from a unwelcome hand.

She was silent no one ever knew.
The secrets behind her bruised eyes.
A shocking victem none but all had a clue.

She cried to empty walls never speaking aloud from fear.
A confession of pain and shattred trust.
this is only what angles hear.

Scars selfinflicted  are better than that 
dirty feeling.
As she lays a broken shell gazing  at the celling.

She questions if others know what will they say.
Doing whatever it takes to stay numb.
Innocence lost a parent should never betray.

The guilt was placed apon the wrong head.
Void of all emotion.
No child should yern to be dead.

At times it gets to uncomfortable so in 
another direction we  steer.
For at times it's just to painful to stomach.
What only angles  hear.


Details | Rhyme | |

A LullabyTo The Lost

Life and cigarettes burn to fast.
We waste are time.
So within the moment you bask.

A pretty face has to age.
Every story meets  it's final page.
When life breaks you over its cost.
Then you'll sing a lullaby to the lost.

The lights in the street hide all but the truth my 
dear.
You can act.
But you can never mask your  fear.

In dark rooms you sell all but your soul.
A wicked moment a stolen encounter.
All things take there toll.

That sweet face has tuirned hard your so warm 
to be cold.
A secret that the bitter have already told.

Can you wash away there stench as from 
the past you are tossed.
In dark corners blood stained angles 
sing a lullaby  to the lost.

Is this hell or a nightmare  that knows no end.
A cell to most.
To others the only refuge inwhich they 
can depend.

she falls to the floor a lost look needle  
in arm.
Most will rememeber a doomed fool.
Others her wreckless charm.

She was  a junkie  and a easy lay.
More bones are broken.
Over words others say.

She sold flesh but payed the ultimate
cost.
In a dingy corner of th world.
Were the angles sing a lullaby to the lost.


Details | Acrostic | |

Open Sores

I am a coward with open sores. 
I write and wonder who it bores. 
I hear my heart and mind argue repeatedly. 
I see others carrying out my dreams; 
that’s what’s defeated me.
 
I am a coward with open sores. 
I pretend open doors are closed, and walk the other way. 
I touch base with the fear in my heart, tearing me apart,
leaving nothing to say... 
I worry the world will leave me. 
I cry because no one believes in me. 

I am a coward with open sores. 
I understand nothing comes easy. 
I say I’m happy, but even I don’t believe me. 
I dream I am healed and brave. 
I try to overcome my weaknesses before I’m in my grave. 
I hope you hear me.
I’m on all fours. 
I am a coward with open sores. 




©  2011  ~JSLaM    

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* 1st PLACE in Contest "MARCH MADNESS" Sponsored by C. Devonshire 2011

* 1st PLACE in Contest "ONE OFF" Sponsored by Brian Strand 5/11/2011 

* 1st PLACE in Contest "BEST EVER" Sponsored by P.D. 2011
                 
   


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Stoned

In seeming innocence you lie upon the warm ochre
about the edges of the dust-strewn street,
a remnants of larger issues, crushed to just the right size by a killing blow.
Before the mob merged, before cat calls raised the hairs on the back of her neck,
she had been of a favorite pet, a cherished wife.  
A mother now lays dead, brought down by the bloodlust of the men around her.
Today, the stones are coated rust-red with the blood as the of women of Iraq 
are laid low by their husbands, sons, and fathers. 


Details | Free verse | |

Things That Seemed Poetic

Things that seemed poetic were always sad,
though I yearned for sparkle
and my dad's guffaw, which never came.
Familiar things were always drear --
repeated motions in the same old game.
There were only distant glimpses
of budding spring, fleeting views
of daffodils. The strongest
poems dealt me death and dying.
Yet I always hoped, never went under
to gray despair, always dreaming
of a garden of love that we could share.
But those forbidden delights faded
quickly away; the only reality
I understand is the ever-looming
and final one. Nothing's changed.
The strongest poems deal death and dying.


Details | Rhyme | |

Fear

Trust in your fear
As it speaks with a voice
Or you'll be left in pieces
With no longer a choice

For your fear will take over
In vociferous chant
To pieces you will collapse
In meandering rant

So when ever this word
Called fear appears
Don't fall to pieces
Or your soul disappears




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/life-3.php


Details | I do not know? | |

Anger

There it is again
Bubbling up from within
Wretched wrath washing over me
Vile disgusting filth freely flowing
Angry demons seizing control
Forced attrition to evil urges

Screaming 
Yelling
Rants of rage

Watched from within
Helpless
Powerless

Unable to soothe the beast
Surrender to aggression
Until the bile is expelled
Vomited forth in fury
Leaving only the bitter tastes
Of regret and sorrow 


Details | Rhyme | |

A Forest

The night like clouded charcoal scorched,
A sea of trees with starlight torched.
A night where laws are sound asleep,
Anarchic prayers running deep.

Alone I hear the wretched screams
Of screeching trees... or so it seems.
The cries protract into the air,
Without a sound they disappear.

The shrieks have bartered now anew
With sounds of meat and boney chew
Discharging from the faithless trees
And snarling with my memories.

But creatures' gruesome growlings drown.
I smell the gunpowder and frown.
The waging sounds of war advance
In battle stance with gun and lance.

The sounds of bleeding men enhanced,
The sounds of fate and time and chance,
No sooner do they cross the trees
Than fade as all their voices freeze.

But worse than bombshell sounds occur;
The storms, the winds, the thunder stirs.
The roars that shake the forest's roots,
The flowers, soil, and passion fruits

A rainy resonance restocks
The grass the air the woods the rocks
And washes with its dancing tingle
All the sounds that intermingle:

A dreaming forest in the night,
And trapped within its fanfare fright,
It chokes me in its thunder thrill
And hangs me in the silence still,
And hangs me in the silence still.


Details | I do not know? | |

Raindrops

Raindrops
are like my thoughts
falling down into my mind
sending goose bumps down
my spine

Their cool aftermath
cleanses me of my thoughts
of fear and uncertainty 
about what tomorrows
pain may bring

They make me feel,
wet with creativity
drenched in my optimistic
illumination. glistening
raindrops, my thoughts
leave paths of pleasurable
distress, and hope of success
which road, less traveled
may be the best

Forget an umbrella
when these raindrops
arrive, I walk outside
arms open wide

Ready to Receive
whatever
the mind storm may bring
because raindrops are
as my thoughts, falling
down into my mind
sending shivers down
my spine

My brain, yearns
for the rain, to wash away
the pain, tomorrows worry
does bring
One special drop
could speed up life's clock
to the time
I can handle my own
and not dwell inside my controllers
home

For raindrops are,
like my thoughts
falling down into my mind
sending goose bumps
down my spine


Details | Limerick | |

Princess Needs A New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.


Details | Elegy | |

Abrading Volley

Rainfall washing
Light splashes on windowpane…

Leaving nothing behind
No pattern or trace…

If only those tears
Anguishly wept for you…

Upon your deathbed
Had washed away…

Cleansing the pain
That even now abrades my spirit…


Details | Rhyme | |

Remnants

Sad Heart, now thou art wither’d from the Sun,
What man, or god, will near thee run?
Wrought in twist like branches in Tempests' gasp,
What Comfort, or Gauze, shall be near to grasp?
True ones begotten are the ones now Rotten
And the ones now Rotten will never be forgotten
They are merely sad remains of assiduous Tears
That have been meddl’d with and tatter’d Raw throughout the years

And thou, cruel Mind, that sat’st still thru toiling trail of Night;
Must dream your broken Dreams; thou’rt a sanely flight!
Can thou extinguish passions of Fire, Disease, or Rain?
—tho thy distinguish’d influence trains to abstain
Thy Remnants brought to debris in thy Empty street,
Devour’d by Vultures, their bestow’d beaks entreat
Merely are they cleaning an inexhaustible Mess
Alas! Leaving thy rudiments of Identity to redress....



Details | Ballad | |

DANCE AMONG THE FLOWERS

Dance among the flowers
Let's have a party and a tea
Dreaming of the future, and
How I think that things should be
Life should be an adventure
A Prince should take me to the Ball
The wind always fills my sails
When I'm with him, gonna have it all

I dream out loud to make it clear
This little girl has no fear

Growing up is not easy
So much is not what it seems
No time to smell the roses
Or to think of childhood dreams
Life just becomes survival
My Prince was really a pauper too
My ship never left the harbor 
Happy days are all too few

My dreams long gone, nothing near
Grown up girl.. So many tears

Hide behind the surface
So you think that I am strong
Inside I'm falling to pieces
How could everything go wrong
Life can make you bitter
A shell of what you could be
Drowning out in the ocean
So far out that none can see

Prayed for a miracle, a new song
That a true Prince would come along

Met you the next morning
Your humor made me smile
The way you looked at me
I hoped you'd stay for awhile
You came a little closer
Then you gently took my hand
Words can't describe it all
Lost dreams were being fanned

You were my miracle, you were my song
All of those childhood dreams, They were inside all along

Dance among the flowers
Let's have a party and a tea
Dreaming of the future, and
How I think that things should be
Life should be an adventure
A Prince should take me to the Ball
The wind always fills my sails
When I'm with him, gonna have it all

I dream out loud to make it clear
This little girl has no fear

You were my miracle, you were my song
All of those childhood dreams,
They were inside all along


*This is the story of a little girl growing up with amazing dreams, only to be devastated by the harsh realities of life.  Then by chance, in her adult life,  she meets someone that restores her belief in dreams she thought were long gone.
12-16-14


Details | Free verse | |

FOR RACHAEL

Oh sky look down on this earth of gray,
Something dreadful on the horizon looms.
There is no black and no white today,
Laws exist but justice is doomed.

Morality is labeled religion,
And must be separated from state,
Whose own religion is political correctness
And determining God's fate.

Oh heaven rain down on us,
Ae are tasting your tears.
Yes we've become that bad,
Confirming your fears,

That what has been done ,
Is being done again,
Those lessons taught,
Coming to naught.

Judges and laws make it legal,
To be rid of your innocent babes,
Under a symbol of the eagle, 
God's loving justice betrayed.

Racheal you cry the tears,
That now only heaven supplies,
Because ours have dried,
In the dust of our alibies.

Excuses and lies are linked,
As you and I know well,
The truth is all but extinct.
Truth is foreign to hell.

Oh heaven, look down on this world of gray.   
Something dreadful is watching and looms.
Is there nothing left but to watch and pray,
While Rachael wails by the dumpster tombs?


Details | Ballad | |

Lost Love

If only you could see the tears
In the world you left behind
You fill my days, my nights, my dreams
You’re all that’s on my mind
Your laugh I’ll never hear again
Your smile I’ll never see
Memories now are all I have
Since loneliness found me
Time was never on your side
Your short life had to end
Now I'm left in pain without
My love and my best friend
The sadness, the emptiness
The pain I have to face
Will never leave my life
For you’re a loss I can’t replace
Even though the rain will fall
And the sun will still shine on
My life will just exist
Because my whole world now is gone
You are an Angel high above now
Watching over me
But someday I know once again
Together we will be
For when my time on earth is done
You’ll come and take my hand
And guide us to eternal love
Together in God's land..


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Couplet | |

To All Of You

There are times we are left to cope
With situations that drain our hope

Leaving us full of despair
At how some people just don't care

About the evil that they do
To good people like all of you

We are left to somehow face
That in mankind there is disgrace

And those of us left alive
Must find away to survive

As you pick up the pieces of your life
Without your mother, father, husband or wife

And some of you God forbid
Without the love of your kids

We must band together with a brotherhood
Show that in this world there is some good

Because we are together in this deal
We try to help each other heal

We seek in each other good advice
And offer each other sacrifice

We hold each other in prayer and song
As we continue to re-build the wrong

Because what else in the world can we do
Except let the light of good shine through

The evil darkness and despair
Of a catastrophic lack of care

We want you to know you are not alone
Think of America as a giant cone

And all of us are funneling through
Our prayers and hopes to all of you


Posted for Nathan's 9-11 contest


Details | Couplet | |

Created By Choices

Something evil this way comes
Sure as the rising of the Son

A single heart left to bleed
A lost soul with a dying need

When love proves it doesn’t care
In creeps darkness and despair

Angry voices from deep with-in
Scream I’m a fool once again

I now make my soul like a cave
It’s the darkness that I now crave

Around my heart I shall build a moat
With blood sacrifices unto the goat

Deep in darkness as a soul can be
Father of darkness come feed on me

She destroyed the love in my soul
I do pray that hate fills up the hole

Troubled souls with hallow voices
In this life we all make choices

My choices have left me degraded
I now hate the person I created

Into darkness away from the Son
Something evil this way comes


Yea, I posted this for Deborah's contest.
Believe it or not this is who i used to
be. Poetry is a truly amazing tool when
it comes to change, it transformed this
into the man I am. All I can say about
that, "Praise be the Power of God".


Details | Rhyme | |

Death, You Do Not Win

Death, You Do Not Win
 

The world has been unkind to me 
yet there's no where, no where to flee. 
I'll sit and take it if I must 
for all return to earthly dust. 

To cry will do no worldly good. 
Defy with spirit, as I should. 
A loss that cannot be replaced 
yet life must once again be faced. 

So here I sit and wonder how 
to stop the gloom which eats me now. 
Can it be slain with greater love 
or only healed by God above? 

Once, anger always worked for me 
but now, this time decides to flee. 
Yet I seek not its quick return 
true folly that my Soul shall spurn!
 

Robert J. Lindley, 10-05-2014

Note : Contest 
 Giorgio A. V. 
Contest Name Structured forms - Iambic verse III
You may select between Iambic tetrameter, pentameter, hexameter, heptameter (quatorzain), royal rhyme, blank verse and decapentasyllabic verse. Poems composed with different Iambic forms are accepted as well. Just specify the Iambic forms you have used, beneath the poem.
 
Form chosen , iambic tetrameter.
 


Details | Free verse | |

The Final Say

As our world spins into this blatant madness Family units like dead leaves, fading fast! Our children lost, good values tossed Idols abound, keeps us in a choke! Excesses, extreme shape our lives The Golden Rule, now a corny joke! A simple guide to can heal our earth-disregarded Yet, in spite of all these, God will have the final say When wars and storms sweep across our earth Leaders ignore the hour at hand Perhaps, the last to stand as men To right the wrongs of history past And re enact laws to seal the cracks! Potent winds arising, already on track Remember, love for man and nature will heal this earth Yes, I believe, in spite of all these, My God will have the final say So let the politicians, argue, fight and scheme Let the liars, deceivers, play their games!” Let death merchants chant their evil anthem “It’s not a child, but a piece of flesh”! While the years like pages torn from a book All blowing away like dust in the wind Gone forever beyond eternity's veil! 'Too simplistic', some claim, that love's the remedy Yet, in spite of all these, I will fear no end, for My God will have the final say! ~*~


Details | Free verse | |

The Day That Died Forever

When I am Colder,Older and then alone...
I will collect the sky on my own...
When the art has faded and the days then fade-
when everyone has gone away...

I may finally see what never was saw
.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh............... the quiet sky

The unlit room which bares my end...shows the flashes of my pains my joys and sins.
This life has been a strange one since the curtains were drawn
These paper and plastic figures have clouded the dawn

I was once younger,foolish,and obsessed with truth
Now I am bitter,sour,dour faced with my heart under shoe

The children were all searching or lost in a crowd
All weeds in a garden...growing vile and foul

Though beauty was sold it never came true
Obsessions and vanity have traveled safe through

Materials and poison and everything lost
have been burned in the fires or lost in the frost

I stand face to mirror tearing my being apart
Winding thoughts of love,pain,god,and art

As the sun sets and the darkness grows
I too shall follow this pattern in tow

Death has a friendly hand and a pretty face
She has given me comfort as I leave this place

The wars have occurred,humanity's lost
Souls have been burnt in the fire or lost in the frost

Day was Life,Night is Death

And the latter has given counsel on my final steps


Details | Couplet | |

One in Four Women

Terror seizes you, and it isn't kind. 
 You try to go somewhere peaceful in your mind.
But the pain rips you right back to here and now.
 Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of even saying "ow."

You try to be strong, but he tears from you, a scream.
 Oh God, please let this be a terrible, terrible dream.
I thought he was supposed to be a friend of mine?
 As the tears grow down my face like vine.
 
He tells me I wanted it, even though I screamed no.
 He says my attitude and outfit told him so.
In the same breath, he threatens me never to tell.
 If they ask why the tears, you better say you fell.

As I got out of the car he pulled me to him and hugged me tight.
 He kissed my forehead and said Don't worry you'll be all right.
Just remember, if you open your mouth, no one will believe a dirty whore.
 Now go inside before I take you for another ride and give you some more.

Into the house and straight into the shower.
 I was in there for what felt like hours and hours.
My grandmother knew right from the start.
 Please don't tell, it would break Daddy's heart.

Please, Grandma he's not worth Daddy going to jail.
 For my sake and his, you can never, ever tell.
She kept her promise and never uttered a word.
 At night, she told me, my cries she heard.

For six weeks I kept my secret and told not another soul.
 For six weeks I sunk deeper and deeper into a hole.
Not until I heard that he raped a fourteen year old girl.
 Knowing I could have prevented it, shattered my world.

I finally told my horror story to the cops and to my Dad.
 I don't think I'd ever seen him so violently mad.
Mike was arrested, but in jail he would not stay.
 He lived around the corner and we had to move away.

He got probation, but not for me, his word against mine.
 I was sixteen, of legal age to consent, so for me he'd get no time.
His punishment, probation for only a couple of years.
 Me and his other victim were left with our fears.

Would he find us and take revenge for what he said was a lie?
 Would my father hunt him down, and go to prison for a rapist to die?
He got away, pretty much scot-free for his deplorable crime.
 His victims were the ones who were serving the time.








This IS a true story, my story, but not my story alone. After 8 years and raping several
other women Mike was sentenced to 35 years in prison. As he pleaded his innocence, we were
all in some way vindicated. He never did a day for brutally raping me, NOT ONE DAMN DAY.
But he's doing plenty now. I hope he gets ALL that he deserves.


Details | Rhyme | |

Restless Heart

A river may babble
The wind may sigh
A cloud may rumble
		Are they any more at peace than I?

Oceans may swell
Volcanoes erupt
And a dam can burst
		Do their hearts stop as abrupt?

Tornadoes may destroy
Lightning strikes from the sky
And an earthquake can ruin all:
		Do they hurt any more than I?


Details | Free verse | |

Unshed Tears

Slice me with your tongue,
Razor blade wounds,
To suck out all my poisens,
Sweet lonely lullaby,
Accusing eyes of sadism,
Picture perfect prodegy, 
My Deadly Sin,
A bitter taste of arson,
Burning in my vital organ,
Your the pyre that burns away my mortality,
A sip of tea made from Lilly of the Valley,
A shadow of Death stalking,
With odd angel like wings,
A Numbing kiss like Drowning in Morphine,
My Oblivion,
Sweet arms to rest in till my vision no longer holds,
Eyes neither like Hell nor Heaven,
Cocain Addiction,
That Drip of Drugs into your system,
Intoxicated blood stream,
I'd rather not dream,
And instead get lost within - Your paralysing,
Your Paralysing, Brain lapse,
Your moving too fast,
Stay slow and dreamy,
Dancing silhoutte,
Like a burning forest fire,
Pain throughout my veins,
Ravishing and Beautiful,
A voice torn from my throat,
Dying joyfully,
With my last sight of you. . .


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Me

Dear Me,

I need you to be stronger
I need you to never be afraid

swallow your pride,and your flight will be softer
tell her you love her,even if it hurts

Grab onto your dream and live it
Do not be afraid of the sun's divinity

Be better,love more, hold on.

Dear Me,

Enjoy every stop of the ride.
For when the train finally stops...we die

Until we witness the angels dance after final day...
Dear Me, hide your fears away


Details | Rhyme | |

One Nation Under God?

It’s a sad situation, the state of this nation
of murderers, molesters, and thieves
I can’t help but wonder as we continue to plunder
at how we create our own grief.

We bully and batter, look out for the splatter
as we rob our own children of pride,
It’s no wonder our sons take up their guns
while we all sit back and ask why.

In this generation, of vain masturbation,
which can create its own self in a tube,
Each woman is master and can now choose to blast her
fetus right out of the womb.

Gender reversal is no longer controversial
(in fact it’s barely thought of as odd).
As men become women I find my head spinning
at man’s struggle to be his own god.

When possibilities ignited we just got so excited
about the fact that we could,
that perhaps we forgot to think whether or not,
as a civil society we should.

Somewhere in the thicket chirps our Jimminy Cricket,
hoping that someone will hear,
While we in the piety of civilized society
stand stoic with fingers in ear.

Make no mistake ‘bout the risk that we take
by not heeding ol’ Jimminy’s call.
Consider the thought that God you are not
and pride always precedes the fall.


Details | Rhyme | |

The thoughts of a bi-polar

Who am I and what am I to say?,
All I've got to do is play,
Along in a game I don't understand,
Make people come to my land,
A deal that you don't think about,
Something thats going to start out,
A trend that will last for years,
Making people come to tears,
Arguing points that don't get across,
Having to deal with a great loss,
This is my life and these are my words,
Circling around like I'm in herds,
Playing games with my head,
Maybe I would be better off dead.


Details | Quatrain | |

You make me feel numb

I do believe in magic
I so believe in peace
I believe you know undoubtedly
Of beauties and of beasts
The human spirit can withstand
And rise above the shrine
Belittle all you want, my dear
I’ll be the dwarf in time
But I’ll evolve as I hold dear
These sentiments that haunt you
I’ll cherish every single tear
Because you’ve plagued me to
I’ll turn the other rosy cheek
Though undeserved it may be
I will forgive, but won’t forget
The promised growth inspired in me
Further more, I wish to say
Remind me that I’m still alive
Disturb the sleeping monsters 
Please provoke me to survive
You compliment this hypocrite
Attention seeking scum
And help stick out the finger
That outranks the sorest thumb


Details | Rhyme | |

She was Saved

You read in the papers You watch on the news Our soldiers are fighting As the killing accrues In the theatres of war We lose many lives In these wars of man Only death thrives But every so often There's a turn for the good A life is saved They couldn't do what they could The lives of a family Murdered by cowards Shot in cold blood Bullets they showered But from this tragedy A life was saved It's of a little girl And a soldier who braved A Chief Master Sergeant In the USAF Allows mans humanity To kindly show face This little girl who was saved Who was shot in the head He stayed by her side For she should have been dead To see pictures like this In the theatres of war Maybe it's understandable To see what we fight for An alleged soldier In wanton family wipe What takes a soldier To become their type My heart goes out To this little girl And all the other children Caught up in this war ridden world Written on the spur of the moment after receiving a picture from Sara Kendrick. http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-4.php


Details | Blank verse | |

Living Hell

His back is turned to her.
Head bowed, shoulders slumped-
Ears muted to her stinging words-
Heart numbed from excess abuse.
Though once addicted to it, to her.

Her flaying arms and forced tears.
Bitterness flowing from her petite frame.
Ripping through the air-
The target of her hatred
Once fueled her passions and desires.

Promises of forever made forever ago.
Held near and dear in thoughts and actions.
Tarnished and crumbled, fell through the cracks.
Vicious, selfish decisions
Scorching all sense of heaven on earth.

Two having been made into one.
A union blessed on high
Now has caused heaven's angels to cry.
Hell not for lost souls or the damned
Exsistence without love, truest living hell.


Details | Free verse | |

Daily Thoughts

Everyone thinks they can relate to me
but nobody really understands,
they lie just so you feels as if your not the only one with problems.
the only people that feel as if you do
are the ones that have experienced
what you have.

have you ever felt suicide flowing 
through your veins?
or the sickness thats in your blood
it just drips out of your scars
and spreads to your fellow friends.

have you ever had a kiss of venom
from someone you cant have?
or the touch of someone who wants you 
so much that they have killed
your heart all together.

not understanding yourself so you
go to your friends to council you,
then you just close your eyes
and forget all your feelings?

did you ever hold your tears in so hard
that your eyes start to burn?
or make out as if your smiles are
pretend?
it is easier than answering everyones 
questions over and over.

what about when you see your desire
and your hands start to tremble and
tears fall like nothing before?
you try to imagine what life is like
but when you start it kills you
instantly.

your hell is my heaven
but im just an illusion of your god
and a prediction of the devil.
have you looked so hard that the star
has burnt a symbol in you?

no one cares about your life just whats 
in it.
the talk can lead your head to desicions
you dont want to make.
but like you make your own thoughts 
and everyone disagrees anyway.

if i could stop everyone 
for just a second or a half
i would hate it to tell the truth
but for me to stop my own life
would be a pleasure.

they say listen to your heart but for me
its too late,
because my heart has already stopped.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mistake

I’m six feet below the ground; where I sleep
My body stopped moving and I can’t breathe
A little air, I think, is all I need
But I’m trapped underground and I can’t see
It’s so dark and what was that, did someone knock?
No, just someone walking over this place that I rot
I wish I could scream, I wish somebody would talk to me
Was it a mistake to take my life of disbelief?
I just wanted someone to take away the monotony
All the darkness in my life I thought everything was a lie
I tried to show someone how I felt inside
And then I ended it...well at least I tried
But even in death, I just wish I would die…


Details | Free verse | |

Struggle

Primal, basal, beyond my awareness
How could I have been so careless
I let the line between real and fantasy
Become clouded through my jealousy
The fire rose, consumed, burned away
And left the ashes in its wake
I still search for just one burning ember
To reawaken feelings of forever
But destruction is all around
I fall to my knees, hit the ground

Can you hear me scream?

Blatant, cold, and calculating
Every part of this wrapped up in hating
The one who did this thing to me
Imprisoned when I was set free
The water rises, to wash away
All the promises we once made
If still one ember ever burned
It burns no more, lesson learned
Still destruction is all around
And I can’t lift myself from off the ground

Can you see me cry?

Detached, impartial, contemplating
Why am I here, why am I waiting
Just what am I waiting for
A broken window, an open door
A key to tell me who I am
So I can learn to live again
Without the fear, without regret
To bring back balance and pay the debt
To clear debris from hallowed ground
Unchained, but broken, I am bound

Can you feel my battle?


Details | Free verse | |

IF EVER BECKONED BY THE BROKEN GLASS

If ever beckoned by the broken glass
I offer instantly these scarred hands
And bleed
	Embracing sharpest, cruel edges,
	most exquisite lines
And bleed
	upon piercing, jagged, penetrating points
	brilliant with dancing sunlight
And bleed
	poured out into a universe benign, hard surfaces
	warm in crimson puddles of all I was 
And stand
And bleed
And know then –
Broken glass does not love back.


Details | Free verse | |

Betting on Nothing

By committing to nothing, one retains infinite options.
I have hid inside these words for moons and seasons and New Year’s toasts.
The lone wolf roams fertile pastures unfettered.
The thrill of the hunt.
The chase.
An empty bed is the hope of a new body’s sleeping curve.
Tomorrow becomes yesterday.
“The mystery of mysteries is the gateway to marvels.”
I stopped looking long ago.

The faces have blurred into a montage of emptiness.
Come and go; came and went.
I never bothered much to be bothered.
There aren’t many memories
And I am thankful for that.
Wet fingers and licked lips’
Blood on my hands.
Wasted time.
The years run on like a favorite sitcom gone bad.
It all should have been retired years ago.

It is easier to stay afloat and roam the big waters alone
Than set up camp on an island and face a face.
No problems.
No worries.
No connection.
Freedom is all that you cannot commit to
And who surrenders to nothing is he who lives in frigid shadows of fear.
Maybe I have never truly known warmth.

I walk the streets like a war-worn shoulder.
A little cold, a little distant, a little too silent.
The words I have are recycled fragments of someone else’s life.
I don’t offer much.
Poker face.
Can you read my concrete stare?
I have an entire universe hiding in my back pocket
But I’m scared to show you.
It’s been so long since I groped or even fondled my own life.
I’m not sure what I do or don’t have to offer.
I just keep making bets and upping the ante.


Details | Rhyme | |

Watching Dreams Die

A wrong  path taken  a sudden curve in the road.
So you take  a fall over some false code.
Thrown in a cell.
Taking the blame for thoose secrets we never tell.

Concrete  walls cast shadows over sky. 
So many souls trapped watching dreams die.

You had a little baby now she's a cute little girl so you learn.
Years drag slowly as pinwheels turn.

No one plans on making  loved ones
cry.
In a place life does not exist.
You spend your time watching dreams die.

Was it the system or just a stupid mistake.
Long after the bars.
The guilt alone you will take.

You missed your mothers funeral but her 
 her heart died with you.
A letter informed a inmate his marriage
was threw.

You lost part of your life this you cannot 
deni.
Trapped behind bars watching dreams 
die.


Details | Rhyme | |

Love From Afar

Strange creature and my best friend.
The distance between us is great.
So why do we pretend.

You cross the street as I head to the bar
I'll drink to you my dear.
For if I cant hold you close.
I'll just love you from afar.

Like crumbs tossed to a pigeon from a delicate 
hand.
I'll wait like a fool.
For my heart is forever yours to command.

You say I cause pain when you remember the past.
Bitter tears erase the passion.
That sometimes isnt ment to last.

Sometimes it's easier to forget then remember 
who we are.
if it bothers you to keep me close.
Then I'll love you from afar.

Standing underneath your window in the pouring 
rain.
Times alone often i do reflect.
Love has a way of making the normal seem insane.

So very close never knowing who we truley are.
Taken from my heart.
left only to love  from afar.


Details | Free verse | |

Against the Raging Now

Finger in the hole in the dike
Holding back vast volumes
Of raging emotions
Surely to sweep me away
I try some comforting
Favored music from my past
Grab a book
To distract my fear
Linger in the Black Hole
of despair
Reach out to memories
Misty unrealities
Sweet and sour
I pass another hour
Only the peace of sleep
And ultimately death
Will bring craved relief.


Details | Quatrain | |

My Torment

A fleeting still small voice tries to warn me
A sudden overwhelming desire to run
The tell tale taste of metallic flakes
Means my nightmare has begun

Everything around takes on a ghostly pallor
A landscape of anguish and corrosion
A moment of silence before the violence
The flash of light, the brilliant explosion

The sound of the Sun fills my ears
Fear, my throat, though none escapes me
And paralyzed I clench my eyes
As my tormentor prepares to rape me

And it's endeavor is absolute
Consumption is its ultimate goal
It exists to chase me so it can erase me
Whilst feasting on my soul

And then that familiar salty smell 
The sudden rush of warmth so stings
Engaging me relentlessly
In vile unspeakable things

Over and over and over again
My limbs stretched and wrought
As it's teeth tear my bones bare
It's mind defiles my thoughts

And still wounds beget wounds beget wounds
As in the mouth of madness I suffer
And with every injury he just seems to be
Rougher and rougher and rougher

Then just as suddenly as it began it ceases
And for a moment I am clearer
And then the true horror of it all
Is revealed in a darkly lit mirror

There in front of me stands my destroyer
Face flush with it's fill of my pain
And I find that it's eyes and mine
My God, they’re one in the same


Details | Marsiya | |

I'm my Daddy Made Over

Dedicated to my Dad Jerry W. Niday 3/20/1952 - 6/18/2013


I am who I am because of him
He’s the reason for my son’s name
He gave me my courage & my strength
To stand tall even when standing wasn’t easy
Stand for the ones who can’t
To think and fend for myself
I’m my Daddy made over

Taught me to fight back 
To never back down
How to pick myself back up
When I’ve been knocked down
Fight for what I believe
I’m my Daddy made over

He gave me my stubbornness 
Gave me my pride
Gave me my temper
Taught me not to take crap
To speak my mind no matter who
Work for what I want
I’m my Daddy made over

How to keep my emotions in check
How to handle large amounts of pain
When in trouble he always had my back
He knew how my mind worked better than anyone
I got it from him
I’m my Daddy made over

Even though he’s gone
I’ll stand and continue on 
I may stumble I may fall 
May even get hurt along the way
But I’ll pick myself back up
I’ll dust myself off and stand tall
I’m honored and proud to say
I’m my Daddy made over


Sabrina Niday Hansel



Details | Diminished Hexaverse | |

HEEDLESS P-L-A-N-T

Plant Not your seeds in Poor
soil. Heinous and Quagmire
loves society. Yet,
you seclude yourselves from
your very own seed that
you have planted. But, Why?!

Non compos mentis
at the time?!... Were you
Callous?!... Or maybe
Myopic?!... Even
society that

claims to be so
Erudite has
no rejoinder.
Complicity

lurks within
the poor soil.
Be Chary

when you
Make your

S-E-E-D-S!



Pace, G.
INK-U-SCRIPT

06-15-2012


Details | Elegy | |

I Need Your Help Daddy

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here

I can’t get back in control of my emotions 
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy

I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help 

Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance 
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help







Details | Lyric | |

Pins and Needles

Another song written in middle school - edited of course. ;)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Verse 1] I'm trapped within these walls Never to leave at all I am the prisoner inside my own home My spirit is broken I do not believe I'm locked in this chamber which I cannot leave [Chorus] The needles that break the skin The anger that runs within I’m giving it all away Just to stay alive The needles that pierce my veins It will never be the same We’re on pins and needles now It’s how we survive [Verse 2] They say he’ll find me soon Got to get out of this room The blood will spill and he’ll take what he wants to I’ll never let him through GET OUT OF MY DREAM He whispers in darkness, “I’m not who I seem…” [Chorus] [Verse 3] The four walls around me They start to close in I know I’m too late now I know I can’t win So just tell me I’m crazy It’s all in my head You’re not the killer And I am not dead [Chorus] [Breakthrough] Don’t tell me it’s impossible To start it all over again Infection sinks through your pale skin You’ll curse the day that I’m dead [Chorus]


Details | Lyric | |

CANDLE 1st in Spanish then scroll down for english trans

VELA (CANDLE)First Spanish version, scroll down for English)
Yo ser‚ para ti.
Toda la vida que me queda la vivir‚ para ti
y cuando el tiempo haya terminado,
morir‚ por ti.
Dir‚ tu nombre
en cada vela que encienda, respirar‚ tu nombre.
Te susurrar‚,
cada oraci¢n que diga ser  siempre parte de ti.

Por toda la eternidad,
y as¡ ha sido y ser  siempre, 
y cuando deje este mundo,
aquello vendr  conmigo
en la luz de una vela.
Todo el mundo sigue girando, haciendo el d¡a y la noche,
y de la oscuridad a la luz,
ser s siempre parte de cada oraci¢n que yo diga.

Yo ser‚ para ti.
Como una fresca quebrada de la monta¤a que se desborda por ti
como una c lida brisa de verano
entre los  rboles para ti.
En el brillo de una vela,
todo lo que he sido o llegue a ser 
por toda la eternidad,
tu ser s parte de todo lo que yo haga siempre.
Yo ser‚ para ti.  

					
					Traducci¢n: Emilio J. Saavedra M.     CANDLE	
I will be for you.
All my life that is left, I will live for you,
and when time has run out,
I will die for you.
I will speak your name
in each candle that I light, I will breath your name.
I will whisper you,
every prayer I ever say will be part of you.

For eternity,
and forever it has been, and will always be,
and when I leave this world,
it will go with me.
In a candle light
all the world keeps on turning, making day and night,
and from dark to light,
you'll be part of every prayer that ever comes from me.

I will be for you.
Like a cool mountain spring that overflows for you
like a warm summer breeze 
through the trees for you.
In a candle glow,
everything I've ever been or will ever be
for eternity,
you'll be part of everything I ever do.
I will be for you.
© Ron Wilson aka Vee Bdosa the doylestown poet


Details | Free verse | |

It Can't Be Real

A truth in rage of insult furrows my mind
For it is only an offense given to me by myself
In the mouths of others far innocent than I
I feel the tears trickle down my cheeks
For I have surfaced into an ugly mistake
I am always inadequate in this brain
I try to shine like the advice of grace given
But confidence rarely rears its head my way
There’s a sort of shade blocking its way
A shade that darkens everyday

That very shade led me to believe my feelings are wrong
That I will never belong so long as they are not controlled
I must be careful—for the lines of love and lust run cold
I hate myself truly this night
And no one but myself will give me the right
The very right to degrade my every being
Because you are not seeing what I am seeing

There is no point
My lines run cold
Can I be so bold as to say
I still love with a pang of indistinguishable doubt 
All feelings enter in
As my truth blurs and checks out

Your words pierce me so deep
I cannot describe the pain I feel
God it hurts so bad
It can’t be real

Much like the love I have come to embrace
The very love that links to your face
Tears don’t give it justice

It can’t be real
Much like the love I will never face


Details | I do not know? | |

Still In Progress

How can I be selfless without being used? 
How can I be demanding without being so rude? 
How can I open up without closing back down? 
How can I speak if you don't hear a sound? 
How can I trust without being betrayed? 
Yet how could I leave... even after you stayed? 
But how can you love me when I won't let you in? 
So many questions.... where do I begin? 
-------- 
Memories now blurred, flying through my mind…… 
Now, I’m trying to repress the days of being youthful and blind. 
Every morning I pull on my armor, right from within, 
Preparing for a war, that I intend, to win. 
If my heart is my comrade and my mind is the enemy, 
Then in the midst of this battlefield, 
Life is the remedy…
 --- 
Trying to stay sane, knowing that although this is temporary, nothing is vain… 
Learning that there is always a purpose and people will try to corrupt us, and bring you great shame… 
Being told that ‘Victory isn't given to he who starts the race the strongest, but he who endures until the end.’ 
Trying to suspend you from learning to depend... on yourself, 
instead making you depend on the wealth, 
Of someone who doesn't even know who he is, 
while you’re grasping the stealth of your true identity, in your right hand, in your heart, the knowledge…
Never been withheld 
… 
.. 
. 
Feeling the world come crashing down on you, compacting into a mist of air so cool, 
The breeze passing right through, right into the depths of your pores, to ensue, 
The burning and broken and fragile pieces of the inhabitants of the earth from your birth til' now.. 
Physically becoming everything that you breathe, touch, conceive, munch, perceive, every aroma... 
And every great or insignificant trauma, reflecting off your skin oh so temporarily, the mark so paper thin… 
Physically, THAT is what you are… 
Because we only see the physical, right? 
Yet, behind every movie is there not a director… a cast? 
And behind every painting is there not an artist, combining colors and lines so vast? 
And behind every child is there not a journey, a past? 
...
That you did not walk, yet you know that it’s there, not by sight, scent, taste, touch, or hearing... But something inside you, that says it makes sense, KNOWS that all of that is there, 
KNOWING
...
..
.


Details | Free verse | |

Tension Waiting

The swordsman who draws his blade
Heart racing at the keening of steel on scabbard 
Tension coiled, poised for the unleashing
Held back by muscles tight with glee.

I am as the soldier, held in stance,
The lioness crouched beneath the concealing grass
As it sways back and forth, as insects sing along the day
Her every breath is halted, her veins do not pulse,
And just as the swordsman stands
They are statues in this moment,
Statues of derision,
Mocking, with their stillness, the very charged tension within.

And I am as the lioness frozen before her pounce
Coiled with motivation and purpose,
And I am as the tongue held with words clinging off its’ edge
Ready to lash out and strike with direction
But I am as the frozen purpose, held tight
Waiting, for a warrior to stand before me
For a reason to uncoil, to lash out with words and pounce.

But I am now as the pen halting before the purest of paper
White and supple, in askance for the lightest touch
A slash of the tip, drawing lines in ink
Lines like a hunter’s bowstring, taut with intent,

As the pen lies frozen above its prey, the falcon petrified aloft still winds
I am the need coiled tight like a wound jack in the box
But alas, there is no victim to frighten,
No pray to pounce upon, no sword or bared neck to slash against
And I am here, with pen frozen, ink ready to be drawn taut
And I have nothing to draw in the ink, no prey or purpose to evoke
I am coiled tight with energy, but it is release that so eludes me,
I am coiled tight with purpose, but it is direction that so denies me.

And here I am, pouncing at ground before me, 
Slicing away at the air around me
Scratching away with a dry pen, on paper still white in askance
I write about…
I write about the coil within, and the lack without
And alone I wonder,
Is it enough, is it enough to go on, a wound up box
Waiting for the slightest touch, the weakest parry, to live.


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

indestined

so many times beneath the stars
our lives are lived for fate and scars
infancy seems to abound
from everywhere it screams its sound
too loud to hear the voices true
without a sound, it comes to you
it strikes with force, a fist, a roar!
so strong a warmth you can't ignore
the vision marred by human sense
for now the journey must commence
the trials begin with fervor rise
a gaze glares straight within the eyes
so hard to suffer ends defeat
victories are ever sweet
the sky preludes the next advance
all surety, no happenstance
a place of firm and solid lore
where the light and night I wore
as symbols of forever more
no longer will I toil and chore

-Sam Robinson

Poem genesis from:
Stardust Road
by Poet Destroyer A


Details | Narrative | |

Bottled Up

Summer of '99

How ironic. There I was, waking to a magnificent kaleidoscopic sky 
and I had no one to share it with. I thought you'd be there but I knew 
that it was too good to have lasted. It was too perfect--
you were too perfect, all the way down to your cheesy pick up
line... "Steamy Summer Love" indeed...

But what is steam anyway? I guess the love that we shared
that summer literally evaporated. All at the heat of the moment.
How cliched. But it sure burned me, now I realize how true it is 
that steam is way much hotter than boiling water. 
Was it all a dream? I tend to think so, but then 
I finger the bracelet around my wrist, 
and realize it was true after all.
 Breath on breath. Skin to skin. Heartbeat to heartbeat.
Soul to soul? I thought so.

I've come back here, to this same spot where we were a year ago,
just for me to let go.
 Literally bottling up everything... 
this write goes in this bottle, as well as some sand here 
and your joke of a bracelet.
I'm tossing this out to sea, because that's where it belongs--
those memories to be swallowed up. 
Passion purged 
by angry waves...

Was it a fantasy? Maybe, but then I hold him close to me
and realize it wasn't. I named him Nicholas, you know.
See, I remembered your name.


---------****-------------------------****-------------------------------

Summer of 2008

I've come back to this place to mull over something rotten
 I did a decade ago. And remember-- that gorgeous face, 
those mesmerizing eyes and smile... that amazing spirit. 
And hit myself on why I was such a fool. 

Then I see this bottle, and in it is some sort of letter, 
and what is this? A bracelet? An all too familiar one--
holding it in my palm, I get a chill not brought on by the sea breeze.
Reading the note, I burn up, ashen.
I then weep till my eyes and soul feel like dying.

I have a son.
and her name has escaped my memory. 



** July 18 2010r06262012


Details | Free verse | |

Flinging Poems Into Wind

We seine them up
like dust
in pollen-stained hands,
briefly weight them,
balancing them in minds,
determining worth,
profundity. 

And like those before,
we toss them absently
into wind—
winnowing maple seeds—
whirling them from us—
as we shape lives,
change destinies.

Now, 
they seem to flit
to nothingness,
like us—
pale night insects
pestering
opal moons,
infestations of night
thickly settling
on the liquid glass
of our tongues.



Details | Lyric | |

United Kingdom Of Whores

I welcome you to this magic kingdom
Drowned in endorphins and stale perfume
To hide the stench of sweat but not shame
You're free to leave but you won't be the same

So grab a drink, have one of my fags
So many girls in glamourous rags
Fight 'til the sunlight on sticky floors
Tomorrow morning they'll regret it, of course

Forget your morals, you won't need them now
It makes more sense to follow the crowd
That seems so happy and carefree
Intoxicated is the way to be

There's nothing here, just hate and lust
Values I live for get ground to dust
Purity killed by one night romance
Loyalty doesn't have any chance

If you're looking to lose yourself
Leave your soul and brain on the shelf
And find yourself washed up on the shores
Of the United Kingdom of Whores


Details | Free verse | |

The Wooden Swing Set

Quiet and still now.
The swing occasionally catches the air.
The tire never moves. 
There’s no one there to care.
The jungle gym beside it is played with by squirrels.
The sand box below holds creatures quiet and shy.
Tiny plastic men are lost in the sand deep below.
A metal car is with them, once favorite of them all.
Leaves stir in the clubhouse, with spiders in its loft.
My son hadn’t played with it for a long, long while.
But I hadn’t noticed while he was here running in the house.
And now when I see the Wooden Swing Set…
It’s connects with my empty heart.



A touch of Empty Nest Syndrome brought this poem to me.


Details | Epigram | |

Sensationalism or Journalism

(Another childhood or teen years poem.)

Newsprint small talk
in Mediocrity's lead pot
rustles and gossips while,
splashed spectacularly across
the speckled page of
Society's intellect,
a murder making column one
hides the hushed massacre
of minds.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Battle Within

A constant battle rages between my heart and mind.
The stress of my decision the devil himself must have assigned.
"Your health and sanity are in jeopardy" screams my brain.
"Don't dare let him go" shrieks my heart in agonizing pain.  

My heart says:
"He's the one for you, you never felt this way before
You ache when away from him, he's the one that you adore.
Be patient with him for in time he will change his ways
Just remember the good times and how he sets your senses ablaze."

My brain says:
"In the years that you have known him, you haven't seen a change.
He's still insecure and jealous, doesn't that seem a little strange.
He believes what he wants to believe and thinks you are a liar.
You let your self become a target and he does not hesitate to fire." 

My heart says: 
"He's been through a lot, just show him the strength of your love.
One day he realize you stood by him when push came to shove.
What if he is my soul-mate.......is that not worth the fight?
Just follow me, 'your heart' and everything will be all right."

My brain says:
"There should be no shoving, insane questioning and childish games.
He would never hurt you and make you cry if he loves you like he claims.
No matter how much you reassure him, he can't seem to get past his issues
He acts like your judge and jury, you'll be forever crying in wad of tissues. 
 
My heart says:
"But don't you see, I'll be crying anyway, I will be broken and beyond repair.
I promised him that I would never let him go, to give up on love seems so unfair.
People search all their lives for that one special person, I truly believe he's mine!
If we can get beyond this madness I know we can once again be on cloud nine."

My brain says:
"Then buck up, stop your tears and for my sanity don't take any more crap.
You're too damn soft hearted, stop letting yourself fall into a turbulent emotional trap.
Life is too short to be unhappy even for a day, I know on this point we both agree.
Just continue to give your all and try your best......... what will be, will be!


"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead." ~Adele~


Details | Rhyme | |

The Mask We Choose


Page unwritten  hand never to be 
played.
Outcasts sitting at center stage.
When you never showed love.
It's no need to question why no one ever stayed.

And you never wondred and new better
to ask.
Cause people grew tired of the game.
And you of the mask.

Deep emotin with which like
overgrown children we play.
Gone in a second.
Was it love or just another day.

Torn sails endless flow.
Blocks and miles.citys and backroads.
Like any flock we scatter.
Only to lose track the futher we go.

Dellusion speaks well amongnst friends.
You see it's the last farewell.
But with truth in are thoughts 
everyone pretends.

Are you okay everyone does ask.
You give a expected reply.
And slip into oblivian slowley
fading behind your mask.


Details | Dizain | |

A Woman's Only Friend


Middle-aged woman puffs a cigarette right outside the grocery store entrance. Her dark eyes fall from mine while beads of sweat trench above furrowed brow. “Spare a few cents?” she asks under her breath. My muscles tense. Annoyed, I shake my head; no words are spoken. I toss a coin in her pail. Still smoking, She gestures with a nod. The hazy air hangs, weighted with her stench. As stone eyes glare, my son begins to cough nearly choking. Hard days have come to my family; life has knocked us down. Humiliated, I beg to survive, you see; even through strife, we had love but no home. So forgive my intrusion today as you hurry by. It’s a nasty habit. You don’t approve. My kids are gone; last week, the state removed them. Now, this smoke seems like my only friend. God took my spouse last year. I can’t pretend life’s good. Forgive me. I, too, disapprove. By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, July 27, 2012 for You Don't Understand Contest (Cyndi MacMillan)


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Turbulence

The voices grow louder, Intensifying with emotion, anger lining every aggressive word. My insides squeeze tighter as the vitriol poisons my mind, How does such hostility exist? As the sound of hatred deepens, The feelings strengthen their grip, like a vice, So tight, I can no longer breathe All the negative emotions I have ever felt, fill me, Threatening to overflow. So long have they been banished… Enough. No more! My mouth opens, An earsplitting scream of pain and suffering shatters the silence, Sobs of sorrow and grief wrack my body, Murderous shrieks of anger and hate, Wretched cries of self-pity and self-loathing, Poison the air. Now, free of these emotions. But the monster still exists Within the dark depths of my mind.


Details | Rhyme | |

In Twenty Four Hours

In twenty four hours life can drastically change.....

One moment blissfully happy walking on cloud nine
Thinking life is beautiful and wonderful, oh so divine
Then something happens that fills you with despair
Feels like you have been sent to hell without a prayer

Maybe doctors tells you have some incurable disease
Up to the heavens you look, reciting desperate pleas
Or you have cancer and you must battle for your life
It is like being stabbed in the gut with an invisible knife

You find out the one you adore, no longer loves you
The life your shared together is suddenly bid adieu 
Or you lose a loved one, death causes so much pain
Barely holding self together, trying not to go insane

In twenty four hours life can drastically change.....

One moment living a life filled with sorrow and strife
Questioning your fate and the purpose of your life
Then somethings happens that fills you full of hope
A glimmer of an incline instead of a downward slope 

Your disease is treatable, quality of life still intact
You decide to fight with all you got, stop being attacked
Your cancer has gone into remission, life is yours once more 
You promise to live each moment fully, like you never did before

A person enters your life and shows you what love truly is about
This special love will last forever, this you know without a doubt
A newborn enters your life whom you cherish and adore
The unconditional love of a child, no one could ask for more.

In twenty four hours life can drastically change.....

It's how you chose to deal with life curves is what really matters
Try to be positive and not let negative thoughts rip you into shatters
Find the courage and the strength to face each day anew
Everyone has hurdles that their trying to live through

Their is always someone that is far worse off than you
Let family and friends help hold you together like glue
Remember you matter to those that hold you dear
Have faith and hope, don't let yourself succumb in fear

Don't dwell on yesterdays sorrows, for you can't change the past
Tomorrow is beyond our control and comes without being asked
Live for today and deal with each battle as they come
For your life is the last thing you should abstain from!


Details | Rhyme | |

Abused

I withdraw into the dome of only me
Floating unaware through your reality.
Warm and cozy in my zombie state
To the one in the glass I won't relate.

I laugh and dance for I'm insane
Repeat your thoughts although inane.
I'll cheat this life for all eternity
Send my hapless soul to purgatory.

Incessant chatter a barbed refrain
As I swim through the waves of pain.
For all you do is talk and talk
Alone and scared I walk the walk.

Desperately I embrace my own insanity
For all I see in moments of clarity,
I'm not immune nor even above
This horror you call eternal love.

So break the glass and pour the wine
In you empty promises I'll recline.


Details | Ballad | |

The Power Of Pride

As I surmise all that is me strewn and cluttered, 
My conscious lies casually shorn and shuttered, 
For here lie the spoils of stubborn iniquity, 
I shuffle and toil, floundering in frailty. 

Oh what great havoc, what conscious so lewd, 
Creates such traffic which now spoils the fruit, 
Of truly righteous deeds committed by a scurrilous man, 
Of whom I could no better know, no better understand, 

For this terribly lost and forever forlorn soul, 
Is none other than me shivering and sniveling so, 
And as helpless as I suddenly appear to be, 
I now understand the strength pride provides so easily, 

For there is purpose in pride, yet none in shame, 
As ambition carries us blind to who’s at blame, 
And just where is the woe when the devil may care, 
For we are soon found alone, our conscious left bare, 

And as I embark into this desolate place, 
My horrors so dark, my fears crimson in taste, 
Forward I race into the perilous pit, 
With none other to blame for this simple life I quit.


Details | Haiku | |

Silence

Silence can deceive                                        
One's quiet to understand
Another to destroy


Details | Free verse | |

The Wasteland -Part 1-

How can one express the baffling depths of obscurity? How can one behold to open the shafts of the mind? I have never been able to solve the mystery— Of myself. . . I wish at times that my life was no more That I could live as another and finally see things right But I am always stuck in this darkness And I cannot see this mind in light There are beasts. . .demons prowling through the wasteland Searching for any remaining life And if they are ever found— They are doomed and consumed Fear is their downfall and they never fail to smell it Their ashes remain, dancing with the imaginary breeze It is silent here—there are no answers I wish there were answers. . . But maybe there was never a reason No answers. . . Talons extend and clench around my heart They will never seek me out—they left me here It is like they knew…I had no reason—that was the answer I feel the pulse of my dangling life Alone in the dark, whimpering like a child I have scared myself, becoming this dragon-daggered youth No balm in Gilead! No eyes to see All I know will never be free I don’t need anyone! You are a disgrace—scum of the waste! You have everything, you ungrateful little nothing You are a joke. . . So swallow it all up like the pushover you are Stand your lowest and trudge right through No questions. No answers. Just . You. Or just lie back down into the mush of disease It has already infected you to the core Accept who you are, you ugly pestilence! I hate you Who are you to be glorified? Dream snatcher. . .murderer of all things bright Saturated in what you call light I see right through—even as the reflections shatter All of the dead kept you alive—they all matter… But alive you are the worst there is False savior—edited attention whore I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I hide. . . Desperation. . .desperation. . . I sob and cry kneeling in defeat For once I am right. . .I am right


Details | Rhyme | |

Today the Darkness Comes

Today the darkness comes.
Music is subdued and low --
measured beats -- an ebb and flow
of oboes and of drums
to pace the sluggish feet.
I do not choose to meet,
this day of blacks and grays,
the collared priest who prays
but, ultimately, betrays
the cant that fills his days
with repetitious words.
I view the streaming hordes
descending from the church
steps, watch them as they lurch
about -- in apparent disregard
for any ordered exit from
the sepulchre, dank and dim.
They met to worship Him --
but I -- I try so hard
to suspend my disbelief --
to find, in faith, relief.
Yet, still, the darkness comes.


Details | Imagism | |

Guilty Reflection

Looking dead at me in this smeared mirror...
a lost man
tormented
face red
brittle
and teared

stacking excuses 
the longer I stare
this stress abuses 
my conscience with a glare

a guilty reflection warns
my mind is the prison I fear
as I long to escape 
from the  hell I dwell in
right here

who have I become? 
what have I done right?
crossroads appear suddenly 
as fog fills the mirror tonight

darkness owning the room,
prefers I suffer slow
so I proceed with speed 
because it’s the only way I know

tasteless stories
flood my life’s hard bound chapters 
while this smeared mirror reflects tears
dripping from a face 
which was once filled with laughter. 


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Humanity

Time comes and goes
People pass by and fly
We have only memories left
But we remember the sad ones
And easily forget the happy ones
We live in regrets
Saying... what if?
We live in fear
Saying... what will?
We have lost our humanity
We live in the past
Forgetting the present
As if there is only the past tense
We live in memories
Forgetting the future
As if there is no future
We love to brag about our ancestors
But what have we done now?
We all are losing ourselves
War... Drugs...
We think we are fighting for a cause
But that cause is only our greed
We think we are building the future
But we are destroying the future
We are losing our humanity 
And there is little left of it...
It is time to stop the war
And move along with peace
Nations send armies to others
Saying:"We've come to civilize you"
According to the dictionary 
Civilize is defined as conqueror
Send not armies! Send food and medical supplies!
Why do you come in the name of peace?!
If you only bring with you destruction!
What is happening to Afghanistan?
Why do you send guns instead of pills!?!
Or is the Vito more important than lives?
I am not from Europe, I am not from America
and I am NOT from the Middle East...
I do not know such things...
I am from Earth, regard of my nation
Nations are only names, we are all one
We are connected; we live on the same planet!
Why does one want to kill his brother?
IS IT FUN? WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE TRY IT?
I do not want to lose my humanity
Knowing that little is left in this world
This world can yet be fixed...
And it starts with two words: Love and equality
And it starts with one road: kill the Vito
Cause if it was a man, I would've killed it for the best
You think Hitler is gone?! Well now there is a stronger one
Look at Jerusalem! Hitler wouldn't dare do such things!
Why do we keep looking at the past?!
Forgetting what now is happening!
If the same ones who were massacred by Hitler
Are the same ones doing worse to Arabs?!
Why do we spend billions on weapons?
Instead of spending them on science?
Or at least save other nations from starvation
Why are we better than the Africans?
We have the same God! Or is it because of their color?
I just wish to ask one question to every human being...
WHAT WILL YOU SAY WHEN YOU STAND BEFORE GOD?

--------------------------

A tribute to all nations and hope all be safe :)


Details | Rhyme | |

The Tranquillizers




                             THE HOSPITAL FAIRYLAND

They walked together, hand in hand,
Into life’s magical fairyland.
Where there was no trouble, where there was no pain.
Where life could really, begin all over again.
Where were no men in little white coats.
Forcing you all, to stuff drugs down your throats.
Forcing you to do, what you didn’t want to.
Telling you it was all for the best, for you,
People shouting, people crying.
Most of the people talking about dying.
What is this hell, we’ve all come to?
It’s called coming off drugs, we all have It to go through.
Where will it end, what will we do?
None of us really, has a clue.
We are given more pills, we are told, we have to take.
To the men in white coats, life’s a piece of cake.
We are the prisoners, they guard the doors.
Some try to creep out, on all fours.
Into hell and back, we go for a ride.
Eventually if we’re lucky, we come out the other side.
Where we can walk, hand in hand.
Into life’s magical Fairyland.
Where there is trouble, where there is pain.
But at least we can start, living again.





Details | Sonnet | |

Stepping from the darkness of alone

I must carry this torch down to the cave
To shed light upon the walls of my heart
For, if not, I will take it to my grave
And on that path may make an early start

I cannot think of love, when love is what
Consumes my every thought in every hour
I gambled all I have and took my shot
Chanced my wretched life to fate’s cruel power

But love is what I deeply need to give
My life is not my own unless it’s shared
This aching heart with which I have to live
Must find his mate if he’s to be repaired

But first I must let go the one I crave
And leave this burning torch within the cave ~


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Stronger Than She Thinks.....

She is a loving mother, 
 her pain is like no other.
Kids taken all at once away.
 A price too steep to have to pay.

Holds her head up high, 
 when all she wants to do is die.
She thinks her pain is masked, 
 but as you see, its no easy task.

She's strong and still fights, 
 even when they say she has no rights.
She dreams of seeing her kids, 
 trying hard to keep the pain hid.

She goes to court and really fights, 
 only to come home alone and cry at night.
Still, she continues this uphill battle.
 Her confidence, they constantly rattle.

Goes to work and tries to smile, 
 as her heart is breaking all the while.
Wish I was a much better sister, 
 who called and let her know I missed her.

I had my own tumultuous issues, 
 it was she who really needed the tissues.
I just had a crappy, low life man.
 By her side her family should stand.

Instead they all give her grief.
 Do they not see her pain will never be brief?
No, they all say they are sorry, but they're full of lies.
 Didn't they know it was her LIFE in demise?

A better sister, I'll try to be.
 Her back she never turned to me.
I hope she knows she's loved and cared for.
 Her smile I'd like to see more.

I know that's no easy task.
 But that I will still ask.
As they push her to the brink,
 She's stronger than she ever thinks.




A combined effort for Kristy.....


Details | Rhyme | |

blood transfusion



Details | I do not know? | |

My Heart Bleeds Tears

My Heart Bleeds Tears 
By Jim Campbell


My heart bleeds tears
For the voices 
I can no longer hear
For the hands I can
No longer hold
My eyes cry
Like a river
That tears through
The land
Never ending
Never ceding
Washing away my heart
I watch as your essence  
flows away
The memories 
The joys
In my mind still stay
Yet the thoughts
Of never seeing you
Come washing in
As do the fears
That are always here
And then 
My heart bleeds tears….. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Bravery Is All There Is

When darkness falls and finds us all alone,
When the heart becomes a small grey stone ...
     Bravery is all there is.

When thunder shakes the windowpanes,
When those we love lie wracked with pain ...
     Bravery is all there is.

Bravery concedes its fear;
Does not attempt to hide its tears.
Bravery is born of holding calm,
In quietly, doggedly, carrying on.

When reason fails to light the dark,
When the answer is a question mark ...
     Bravery is all there is.

When justice seeks to rule in vain,
When sorrow sweeps the roiling brain ...
     Bravery is all there is.

Bravery trembles while it stands,
Accepts what it cannot command.
Bravery bears its burdens well,
Looks not to see if others tell.

     Be brave then, Mystery asks of us;
     Face the unknown with silent trust -
     For at the End, there is only this:
     Bravery is all there is.
     Bravery is all there is.


Details | Couplet | |

Familiar Taste of Betrayal

I’ve tasted betrayal before just like I have tasted lies
but each time it’s so bitter, the taste always a surprise.

I cannot expel this sickness you left to rot in my soul
the brittleness of your lies that made you lose control.

So I am left no resolution and more unanswered questions,
you told me it would be an hour when I’d only had seconds.

You came in as an infection and you’re leaving a disease
once proud I stood and yet you brought me to my knees

your taking me down and you’re dragging me low.
Why take my hand if you only plan to just let go?


Details | Free verse | |

First Thing You Should Know 2

First thing you should know, is this isn’t a poem, it’s not a story, it’s not a song.  These 
are just the mad ramblings of a genius with a headache. 
Watching the smoke curl between his fingertips, he wonders.  Is it his body that’s on 
fire or his soul?  Physically he feels fine yet he sees the flames, inside the pain is 
excruciating yet, not a scratch to be seen.  Isn’t that a thought though, not a scratch to 
be seen on his soul.  Why is it that the scratches and cuts that do the most damage are 
the ones you can never see?  How can that much pain not leave a visible mark?  How 
much pain can the soul take before it turns into the story of humpty dumpty, never to 
be put back together again?  Isn’t it funny how you can forget your dying, when you 
have died inside?
First thing you should know, is this isn’t a poem, it’s not a story, it’s not a song.  These 
are just the mad ramblings of a genius with a headache.


Details | Couplet | |

God Forbid

My life is very insular, I move from page to page
never straying far from words which prance upon the written stage.

like a sputtering engine my tongue tangles on a phrase
I rub my eyes, red and raw, I can't remove my aged gaze.

My fingers curl and knuckles gnarl as velum dances right
I read, I write, I think and pause, I can't turn out the light.

Compose, I will, adjust I must, each simile an anchor 
to a life much analyzed, but lived with little rancor.

like the scribes of ancient Rome my fingertips are worn
yet I persist with joyous bliss for I know I must go on. 

My form has bent, bowed and curled to meet the need of the word
God forbid, I went through this lifetime never being heard.



Details | Free verse | |

The Beauty In Futility

Futility
my heart breathes its last breath
Embraces its own death
Ready to be reborn 
and made anew

Can’t live a lie
Refuse to “do”
and I’ll DIE....
Focus now on why I’ll live 
And never touch the sky. 

I have to forget you
I have to reject you 
But I will never love anyone 
like I loved you.....

I heard you whisper 
and you never knew it
I wiped the tears from your eyes 
But you couldn’t feel it

You’re lost and you’ll never find you
And neither will I 
And I’m so sorry--
but I’m NOT. 

I'll attempt to reset
Try to forget
But you know, I never will. 

Be my dirty little secret 
My very worst-kept secret 
Sweet, smooth, beautiful poison 
My infernal and endless attraction 
towards complete and utter self-destruction 

I fell in love with the devil
And it will take one heck of an angel
To save me from the likes of you....

My addiction 
my confusion
my nightmare
my dream never to come true

Oh, I’ll never forget the times
we never shared
I’ll never forget 
how you were never there

Always me, the stars, and tears
And I ask you,
what kind of life is THAT?

I have to face the facts 
I don’t know what happens now
but it happens without you. 

The stains will always be there
the scars will never fade
But the memory of you----
it HAS to. 

I could carry the torch forever
But it would only consume me
I can’t cry another tear for you
Or I’ll dry up completely

It doesn’t affect you
and you never deserved me

You’ll go on with your life, too
All, all alone
Because you’ll only ever be in love
with you. 


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

After the Party

It' over, and...
The last guest's gone home
Now you sit there, all alone
Exhausted, drained...
The clean-up can wait
Till tomorrow brings
A brand new date

The pain returns,
Though you'd had a break,
As if you had suddenly
Become awake...

Dishes and glasses,
Spills and more,
Give credence
To your company,
That have passed 
Through your door...

You sit a spell,
Weigh the odds,
Was it fun?
A gift of the Gods?

Now you are sad,
For you are alone again,
Your only companion
Your diary pen...

Too tired to write,
Suddenly it seems
a waste,
All your thoughts
Between covers
Stuck together
With emotional paste

So to your lonely bed
You crawl again
Wishing it was like an older time ,when
A warm body awaited you,
With arms outstretched,
And each night anew
Sweet nectar of love
Shared by our lips,
And not this loneliness
That at your heart rips

Someday, I hope,
Someday I pray,
It will turn out,
Another way,
For loneliness a bitter pill
To swallow,
With prospects of more pain,
With each day to follow.


Details | Rhyme | |

Plockton - Wester Ross

The greatest holiday gift I ever received  
Goes back so many, many years
Before my life became turmoiled
And before my tears for fears

I was a child like many out there
Torn, strewn and split of kin
Mother and father in differences
Confused at seven, wearing their same skin

For I was one of the lucky ones
To a Highland Estate I would go
It's on the west coast of Scotland
Where my holidays desired me so

Secretly I internally smiled
For a whisper of where I was heading
To live with a movie star hero
No longer my life was in dreading

We were picked up by a man so fine
His manners were an absolute joy
Regimental he was in his approach
To me, just a seven year old boy

We travelled through the village of Plockton
Crystal clear waters edged to it's shore
I knew from this very moment
Being here ebbed previous family sores

On entering his house I was in awe
Movie pictures came to my view
They were images of James Bond
At seven I was totally through

A voice called to me
Hey James! sit down and I'll tell you me
Still in circles in walking awe
This is what he told thee

My name is Patrick Dalzel Job
In the Second World War I served
But this recognition I bestow
Humbles me to it's deserve

This honour that's been given
Was blessed by a colleague in war
What desired Ian Fleming to be so striven
Possibly, what we were fighting for

We served on the same destroyer
Fighting to make the future free
His tribute, in his novels I became
James Bond, it's incredibly me





Not many seven year olds have stayed with James Bond.
This seven year old Scot's boy has, maybe I learnt?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Dalzel-Job


Details | Free verse | |

Tumbleweeds


Memories tumble through my mind, some, missing for a while.
I try to fill in the blanks. Others, I sweep into the corners.
You know, the ones that are easier forgotten.
Tumbleweeds...my memories have become tumbleweeds.
I take snapshots of the cherished ones, giving them a home
before they blow away in the savage wind.
"Did I tell you my mom liked to dance?"
"Yes", I remember.
I hear the music, her long hair bouncing with each step.
She doesn't dance anymore.
Moments gone...memories fleeting.
"Did I tell you my dad played drums?"
"Yes", I remember. 
I hear rat-a-tat-tat in my head.
I used to sing at the top of my lungs while he played.
He never seemed to mind my shrill, little girl voice.
I miss him, I miss his drums. Music is not the same.
I close my eyes and another memory blows through spaces.
My brother is racing his bike down the street FAST.
He is about ten, all legs in his shorts.
"Where are you going?" I call after him, too late.
He is gone and I wonder if he was ever here.
Some do go astray I remind myself.
Missing memories...missing love.
"Wait, come back", I yell. I'm still here.
Ruminating, I ask myself if we ever know the ones we love.
No, not really. I remember.
Frantic, I reach for the tumbleweeds.
I reach for my two earthly fathers who are long gone...
I see them. Then, they blow away, missing again.
I chase them futilely. The savage wind still blows.
Across grains of desert sand, I will never know why.
Tumbleweeds...my memories have become tumbleweeds.

By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
March 2, 2012
Second Place in Chris Aechtner's Let the Masks Fall Contest




Details | Narrative | |

A Note To None

If I rewrote the story and somehow are paths
did not cross.
In temptations fire.
We would only know the cold of others.

Freezing in the silent agony unable 
to speak.
The statue remains its meaning erased.

As into others we will seek.
The emotions we no longer share.
Alone I am now inthe isolation of many blank
stares.

The jokes are but a wall built to conceal.
All that I am.
That I could never reveal.

Use the substances to keep you numb.
And let the voices take you to another place.

Beyond the madness there lies 
beauthy in pain.
And always truth.
Destruction breeds art.

I light up in a room of vacant stares
and empty lives.
To blind in addiction to know the other does exist.

In this den like some scene from a opium parlor from the west. 
Ashes hit the floor along with my pride.

This battle im losing with devilish glee.
All but nothing is left.
so in the shadows I confide. 

Sometimes wisdom can come from great acts of stupidty 
sometimes pain brings us closer to the truth 
nothing stays buried   it just lays in wait.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Other Side

In vile defeat I confided to helplessness
I cringed knowing I know so little
As inadequate as I am I felt responsible 
I felt responsible to know everything

In this mentality I suffered long nights
Over thinking myself and overlooking life
Until I gave up the pain for a little while
And took a deep, dark look to the other side


Details | Rhyme | |

Panic Room


Here in this room again 
mind’s racing 
the fan on low…

and I’m not to be trusted 
can’t be left alone here
with shot gun temples 
and a soul full of fear

no worse place than now
I can’t yell it more clearly 
I beg for your attention  
but I can’t stand you near me

contradiction swimming
in the blood of my veins
I’d cut off my hands
to send toxins to drain

I’m gutless
yet I’m too gutsy for action
say that in public
imagine the reaction

I sit in whirl pools
but I’ve always hated heat
and claim to take a stand 
but I’m lazy at my seat

and I’m always on time
as I miss the bus again
I lie in your face 
with a devilish grin

I’m harmless 
and swear I didn’t mean it
I talk about my conscience 
still I’ve never seen it 

in a world of swirling confusions
I’m stuck on the spin cycle
madness,
creating contusions
 
my game’s not over
I need a fresh start
I’m begging for new blood 
cus’ I’ve got a good heart


Details | Ballad | |

Silently I Cry For You

I wander through this land 
Of broken promises and dreams
Clouded by the death of you
Wondering what life means

My colourless existence 
In a world of black and grey
Reflects the person I’ve become
And who I am today

Without you in my life 
I seem to have no life at all
No one here to guide me
Or to catch me when I fall

I almost hear you breathing
I almost feel you near
I almost feel your touch
Sometimes it’s almost like you’re here

This jigsaw puzzle of my life
Has pieces I can't find
For half of me went with you
Leaving half of me behind

I feel so cold and lonely
So battered and so bruised
I feel so insecure right now
Tortured and confused

My life is like an open book
Written but unread
Thoughts I never told you
Words I never said

The voice of hidden truth, I know
Will never now be spoken
Though time may heal my scars
I know my hearts forever broken

Silently I cry for you
Silently I pray
For silence is the loudest spoken word
I never say

I can’t escape the darkness 
I’ve come to know so well
While you are free in heaven
I still reside in hell

And here I will remain 
Until the day my life is through
Until the day God takes my hand
And leads me back to you..



By Raina Hutchins


Details | Free verse | |

Neon And Romance.

Sodden dripped of midnight words
A slurred plight 
Perhaps of tonight
Broken in the sobering dawn
In this smoky staleness
We meet in false courage
Eluding the touch 
The tenderness we cry for
Fearing heavy
Those frangible lovers
Remaining hidden
Behind bloodshot eyes
Masking the obvious veracity
Of a single hope 
A love repressed in the stupor
Of alcoholic comfort
Ever silently aching
In deadpanned hearts…


Details | Free verse | |

The Body and the Blood

Birthed in pain and blood, women
have bled since the dawn of time.
Before Eve,
before the Israelites, 
before and since the Vatican’s conclave 
where the contents of the New Testament were gleaned,
and where it was decided by male interpretation 
of male writings that ...
we, women were the source -
the source of sin, an anathema,
not the source of all knowledge, of life.

We are the source.
Blood is the source of life, 
within the sea of We
well before the Holy See.
Left behind as man progresses.
Left, as he searches for more fecund delta’s
first in Eden, and ever after…
Left behind to starve by those our bodies’ placentas
and breasts have fed till barren,
corseted by the precepts of phallic culture.
One jealous, womb-less, foodless, birth- less,
male oriented culture after another;
from Adam to Moses to Mohammad to Confucius,
to Luther, and Pope Benedict XVI.

Left behind as “society” peaks, 
remnants, objectified,
property born, chattel formed.
Left behind, the arch scroungers, at the empty tit of man.
behind the door, the desk, in the kitchen,
the bedroom 
or the veil.

Women starve so their children can eat,
holding each ember of life, full or lifeless.

Sigils of the dawn, we were 
born in blood,
bathed in injustice 
shunted to the hardest paths
Hungry, we feed you.
Cold we clothe you.
We are the eternal water 
in the well of your existence.
You bleed us to death, Mankind ...





Details | Rhyme | |

A Fragrant Domain

When in pain,
It seems our life is only pain
And it is hard to see a place
With no pain.
Don't feed a pain
By looking at all the other pains
That in your life you can locate
Find the sane.
Find the cane to stand up again
Let your eyes rest upon flowery terrain
A happy place.
If it rains
Think of it as God's cleaning day
Smell the fresh smell of it and regain
A fragrant domain.

By CarolineCécile
Copyright © 07.31.10


Details | Free verse | |

a tear

What counts as a cry
Is it screaming yelling
Or just a tear in one eye
Memories recall a day gone by
Principles and traditions record 
Something why?
Something small but small things
add up. The moment comes
when we count the stuff.
And were captured by emotions
deep inside
And the present makes connection
in our lives
When we notice the price 
that was paid
To see the precious thing
that one gave
To hear the tale
Or wittness the facts
The silent resolve
of one sacred act
By a mother
or a would be wife
We know the implications of life
The sacrifice that was made
for none other than you
Over a life time
Or one single use
Then comes the realization
that screams so loud
One single second
in a silence slowed down
A look with an unseeing eye
Something that bloomed
in the mind
A simple reminder
of a very old sorrow
In life is happiness but sadness
surely follows
Then it rings like a bell
With one single tear
that fell
a cry starts


Details | Lyric | |

Surrender

Sitting in this empty room
Looking at broken pictures of me and you
A broken life together
I always thought we’d make it forever

What has become of me?
I never ever thought I would be
One of those who were beaten down
One of those who didn’t make a sound

Silent when you pushed me around
Silent when you covered my mouth
Silent when you raised your hand
Silent when you gave your commands

But something deep within my soul
Tells me to rise up and take control
Take a hold of my lost self again
Knowing if I don’t this might be the very end

You will not break me down this way
You will not darken my coming days
I am stronger now you see
And I will never let you kill the beautiful soul inside me

I am someone who has a voice
I am a woman who can make my own choice
I don’t need permission to be free
Or to discover the real woman inside me

Discovering the strength and power within
To let the bright shining sun shine in
To let my heart feel free and bold
To let my soul escape your choking hold

I’ve come to realize just a few things
That my life is worth more than two gold rings
Sometimes it has to be that way
For me to take ME back and then for me to say…

I am a beautiful woman inside
I will never ever run away and hide
I will rise to the very top
I won’t quit and I won’t stop

There is nothing that I can’t do
There is nothing left for me and you
So now I surrender and just let go
I am special this I know…..


Details | Rhyme | |

Stolen Youth

I took a stroll around my mind today
And there I found images, visions at play:
I saw a child, happy carefree
I somehow knew that child wasn’t me
More of a hope, a dream that never came true
That dream, that illusion was shattered by you
I saw a teen innocent naive
For that misled youth I often grieve
I see a bride and her husband to be
But for me that door’s locked and you hold the key
I see the life I should have know
The type of environment in which I should have grown
You’ve taken so very much from my life, 
From my sister, your daughter, my mother, your wife
You’ve haunted my days and tortured my nights
To the memories you leave me I can put up no fight.
I will never forgive you for the pain that you’ve caused
The whole of my life has been slowed down or paused
I only hope that one day I’ll see
How to trust again and learn to be me

________________________________________________

April is child abuse awareness month.
According to Ofsted, 3 children die every week from child abuse in the UK and Wales


Details | Haiku | |

Roll'em

One wake-up away
From the best day of your life.
Life’s just a crapshoot. 


Details | Free verse | |

Negative Tier

Aroused by denial,
Disturbing thoughts prevail,
Wishing reprisal,
Hostility unveiled.

Sharpened words uncover
The mask in place.
Extreme emotions hover,
Seen in your face.

Venom grows inside,
Feeding the fire,
Where poison resides,
In the skeptic’s lair


Details | Lyric | |

Goodbye

My life is torn between two worlds
Of now and used to be
But all I ever wanted 
Was the world of you and me
Memories of the only love 
That I have ever known
It’s hard to hold them in my heart
But hard to let them go
At times I wonder who I am
Where did I go wrong 
Why am I so lonely 
In a life I don’t belong
I know my heart will never heal
While feeling so much pain
I’ll never find the sunshine 
While I’m following the rain
Too late now for miracles
They wouldn’t change a thing
For someone else’s finger
Now wears your wedding ring
But though our song has ended
You still want us to dance
And though I’m still in love with you
My heart can't take the chance
Forever I will miss you
And forever I will cry, but
To find myself again
I know I have to say goodbye..

By Raina Hutchins


Details | Lyric | |

Normal To Me

This isn't just a poem This isn't just another emotion This is me, these are my thoughts The Imagery is my sight, And The Allegories are my Life I'm lonely, There is just me But there's so many people around but no one can hear my loudest screams Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me I'm torn, I'm Cut Part of my heart stabbed, and then taken from me The Search for my innocence, Is like a moa hunt Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Laughing and Jokes all directed towards me Just to Hurt me Cover all of the Halls "Fag, Emo, Queer" Words I too often know Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Curling her hair putting on her makeup "You're worthless and nothing to Me" Says the so-called all-loving-one As she screams: "Why am I not Pretty" Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me This is not just a poem not just some words my pen cries with each words But this is Just a Glimpse Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me


Details | Quatrain | |

Average Age 19

Once again, the powers that must
In rise again in what we trust
An overseas conflict, another war
Just what in the hell are we fighting for

Families are asking, Korea has just passed
Generations again reft, how long will it last
A country in need, to rebuild again
Flags at half mast, in wind and rain strain

Once again into war, sent by the Washington Post
To send back reports to hit home the most
Military observers were the first to be sent in
Another chapter of man entering existing sin

I'm witnessing our ariel power, Lam Son 719
US planners determine their incursion, saying all will be fine
Along the Mekong River, we'll carpet bomb their supply trail
Tons of munitions and napalm, this spread surely cannot fail

Many sorties are being flown, for the wounded and the dead
Whilst Nixon and his cronies, aren't thinking with their heads
The news of losses has reached me, nineteen have been killed
Eleven missing, fifty nine wounded, more American blood spilled

Seven fixed wing aircraft, more sons in action loss
Whilst back at home more protests, fading the dyeing's gloss
To to this job that I do, I was never prepared for this
To witness such bloody scenes, and ignore that life is bliss

How can I write about a soldier, whose name I'll never know
Killed at nineteen years old, his family he'll never see grow
Or even explain to his parents, when carried from the AH-1
His body bullet riddled and limp, when lifted it bloodily run

I never went back to the theatre, called the Vietnam War
Having witnessed the wanton killing, what were we fighting for
This colonial conflict that started, us on the side of France
So many came back as strangers, many to live in trance





James Fraser's entry into the contest " WORLD OF WAR: VIETNAM "



Details | I do not know? | |

Stolen Innocence

The sexual abuse of children is all to common these days. The effects are everlasting. These crimes effect more than 
just the victim. I am a member of a poetry site (Poet's Workshop) and we were challenged to write a poem about such 
abuse. It is our way of spreading the word, helping to fight crime against our children, and help support the victims. 
They need to know they are not alone, it is not their fault and to help them to heal! This was my submission. Not for 
the easily disturbed, this is real people, it happens all the time!

Stolen Innocence

Holding back the tears,
An innocent Angel suffers in silence.
Trembling hands and aching heart;
Anticipating the eminent violence.
Lord, please let the day last
and keep the sun from falling
Protect her from the night
When evil comes calling
Her prayer is unanswered,
Under the covers she weeps.
A twist of the door knob;
Into her room he creeps.
She sees the beastly silhouette
From beneath her cotton sheet,
Tiny fists clinch, writhing in pain
Her agony; his desire is replete
His words were gentle; not threatening
She believed his love was true
When he said my little princess,
This is what all DaddyÍs do.
MommyÍs are jealous of this little game
That only DaddyÍs get to play
You can never tell a living soul
They wonÍt believe you anyway
And so she kept this little secret.
And kept her bruises well concealed.
She knew that Mommy would be hurt
If the truth were ever revealed
The late night games became more frequent
Often more than once a night
Love should not cause such pain
There is no way this could be right
She called her Mother to her room
Mommy, I think you need to know
DaddyÍs done some awful things
He touched me down below
He told me never to tell you
That youÍd just be angry with me
Oh I am so very sorry
Mommy can you forgive me
That very instant, an arrow pierced her heart
Her knees buckled, she dropped to the ground
Speechless, immersed with guilt
Rage, Anger, Contriction all compound
The light inside her died that day
Unable to protect her own creation
Two spirits broken, one by the hands of another
And one sentenced by her own damnation


Details | Verse | |

fall the pain

~*~ the chest . . . aged, beautifully engraved and carved it resides in a corridor of my mind, locked my life story the journey, each chapter echoes of tears, melancholy memories of regrets and grieve and within this old chest I place them all the remorse, the despair, gloom and weeping emotions I open the lid and let them go, fall the pain . . . ~*~ February 26, 2013 Sublime Form (Created by Constance) 2 Stanzas, 6 lines each 2/10/12/4/6/8 8/6/4/12/10/2, Syllable Count One continuous thought


Details | Rhyme | |

WATCHING A SUMMER STORM IN DOYLESTOWN

    WATCHING A SUMMER STORM IN DOYLESTOWN
I was laid to rest, 
my death keeps getting better.
If you find me here, you know, I'm yours to keep.
I could try to say 
I love you in this letter,
or pretending you are here, sing you to sleep.

If the world was mine,
I find it quite amusing,
I would give it all away, to see your eyes,
I would save your life,
and everything you're losing,
all because you never see who's telling lies.

I am just as dead
as is your heart each morning.
If the wind has blown, you know I will be there.
I will touch your life,
without much of a warning,
never look for me, just know I'm everywhere.

I'm a summer storm,
my hope is crashing thunder.
I'm a lightning bolt, my love is five alarm.
if I rain all night,
it's just a spell I'm under,
you should know I'm dead, and won't do any harm.

I'm a little boy.
An old man getting younger.
All I have is how I know how things should be.
We still want the world
to live in death and hunger,
yet I love your eyes, when your eyes look at me.


Details | Quatrain | |

THE AUTHORITY

Why can't she learn to do that right?
You'd think that she'd know better.
Someone should tell her what to do,
To hone her each endeaver.

What is he doing over there?
He should be over here.
He should be told where he belongs,
And make it very clear.

She never does as she is told,
Although I've tried and tried;
What she should do and how and when,
I took it all in stride.

I spoke to her, I spoke to them,
To bring her back in line;
But she is stubborn, wants her way,
But she will learn in time,

That I am right and she is wrong,
I'll teach her that I know,
Much more about her work than she,
I'll tell her where to go.

It seems my help and good advice,
Is just ignored and spurned.
I only want the best for all,
The best for all concerned.

I guess my help's unwanted,
But if 'twere put to test,
They all would see that I am right,
And my way is the best.



No matter where you go or what you do you're going to find some people in the world who think they know more about eveything than anyone else and they will do their best to force their opinion on everyone they come in contact with. Th ebest way to handle someone like this is to give them a wide berth. Stay aloof but friendly in a distant sort of way. However, don't hesitate to let them know you cannot and will not be bulllied because this type of person capitalizes on your weakness. Whenever they start something with you it's important to make sure everyone knows exactly what was said and done when it happens so you don't end up looking the fool instead of them. When they find out that instead of keeping quiet you will fight back using their own methods against them they will back off and leave you alone.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Suffering Time

14 hours in a New York minute,
I ought to stop,
But I can't quit it...

No answer to my call...
Is it the end
Of it all?

The pain, it does spread,
Making the future
Something to dread...

Somehow, some way,
I got to get out of here,
Cause I'm swimming
In a sea of fear...

So I say goodbye to you
My sweet...
As I acknowledge
My defeat...


Something is flying about....


Details | Imagism | |

SLEEPING WITH THE DEVIL'S WIFE

   SLEEPING WITH THE DEVIL'S WIFE
Some night you'll wake before morning
Sweatin to the oldies she will sing.
She'll make you think you're in Heaven...
Long enough to tell you ANYTHING...

And you'll believe her.

Some night you'll wake up hearing voices
Sweatin to the oldies of here life.
She'll never say you're in Heaven.
Or tell you you've been sleeping with the Devil's Wife.

She'll never tell you, you've been sleeping with the Devil's wife.

But you will KNOW.
You will know.

That's when you'll need her.
That's when you'll love her the most.
That's when you will die.
Sleeping with the Devil's wife.

That's when you will die.
   
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa ---hear the song and First take Video on Youtube, search for vee bdosa then select SLEEPING WITH THE DEVILS WIFE. One of my personal favorites, more poetry than song.


Details | Ballad | |

Boy and Girl

I feel my mind go wondering back
And let the years unfold
To when I first met you
When we were only twelve years old

So innocent and young we were
Just holding hands together
When we shared our first kiss
I thought you’d stay with me forever

But then as we grew up
I left behind my school girl days
It broke my heart to turn our backs
And go our separate ways

And as the years passed by
I tried to put you from my mind
For I had family ties now
Leaving memories far behind

But you and I had something
That forever would be there
A love that grew from innocence
That no one else could share

And though I tried forgetting
In my heart you did remain
For deep inside I knew one day 
Our paths would cross again

We couldn’t hide our feelings
Though we both knew it was wrong
For we were man and woman now
The boy and girl had gone

But deep inside we’d always known
That 'we' could never be
While you were tied to someone else
I had my family

So once again you walk away
But never will you know
The sadness and the pain inside
The tears I'll never show

The heartache that will stay with me
Until the day I die
For you will always be the love I lost
Who said goodbye...


By Raina Hutchins 
(written for my friend)


Details | Imagism | |

Faces, Cheeks, and Eyes

The air thick, like a sweet sticky syrup
Sirens wail, polluting the air with chaos
Voices screaming, obscenities, obscure messages
All the while little children play, in pothole streets
Faces everywhere, stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

Cries in the light of day, bloody hands wave
Freedom, Choices, a single right
Lost trash, food piles, scattered along roadways
Dirty shoes, dangling over power lines
Faces everywhere, stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

Ever searching, an invisible cape, a quick escape
Smells of rotting food, bloated flies
People who cant stop licking their lips, 
twisting their hips, and geeking
Car alarms screaming, like a symphony out of tune
Faces everywhere, stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

So hungry, empty stomachs, empty hearts, empty minds
Seeking to fill, to satisfy, lapping up milk and honey 
Praying for rain, to wash the stench, to hide the sin, 
away…
Lost, undone, alone, without love
Faces everywhere, stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

Writings of love, of peace, scatter in the rain and wind.
An iota, a seed, a shining light, dimly lit in the night
People gather, curious, watching, many hoping
A gentle voice speaks living words, of  life, a better way 
Faces everywhere, stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes


Details | Romanticism | |

Delicate Flower

Delicate flower
So lovely, and so sweet
Ravaged by wind
And rain and summer heat

Joyful to view
With the sweetest scent
Why nature could bring
harm to you
Makes me wonder where God went

I cry inside
I'll never understand
How such delicate beauty
Could come to such evil harm
All I see is beauty
And innocent loving charm.


Details | Rhyme | |

Entwinement

Bleeding around me are empty faces
Sad, drooping spaces, crumpled places
Melancholy for the light of new places
Stuck in time, frozen in time
The pangs of lonesome fill their sagging hearts
Frowning forever, frowning forever
Let me stare blankly at the stained wall
Nothing at all…nothing at all

The mind is a scary place 
The mind is a distraction
From the reality ever binding
Curbing every reaction
The mind is overwhelming
The mind is oh so sad
When we turn to larvae and graves
It’s an never-ending...
Entwinement 

Found myself looking through the tiny hole in the wall
Watching you fall, watching you fall
Scared for the neck that would break us all
You shuddered my blood…shuddered my blood
I met the eyes of the souls of your feet
Twitching and swinging…unfeeling…unfeeling
Please allow me this sole ease:
Just be with me... lie with me

The mind is a scary place 
The mind is a distraction
From the reality ever binding
Curbing every reaction
The mind is overwhelming
The mind is oh so sad
When we turn to larvae and graves
It’s an everlasting...
Entwinement

-inspired by Mad World by Gary Jules-
-also inspired by the stop motion film: The Man in the Lower-Left hand Corner of the Photograph-


Details | Free verse | |

The Bench In Central Park

       On this dreary winter morning I sit on a bench in Central Park.  Lost in my own 
thoughts of the conversation I had with my ex-wife and her last remarks.  I keep asking 
myself is it my fault?  What did I do wrong?  The chilly wind fills my ears with it's endless 
song.  I shiver slightly and goose bumps crawl along the back of my neck.  Her words have 
left me an emotional wreck. I pull my leather jacket tighter around my shoulders.  I feel it in 
my bones this day will get colder.
       I've seen several joggers getting in their morning run.  That just shows people will 
continue their lives never mind the rays of the sun.  So many thoughts running through my 
head.  And I hold the morning newspaper I still haven't read.  I contemplate over my life, it's 
not always easy, and so-called-friends can be the enemy.  Even your spouse living in your 
house can betray you with infidelity.  That is why my heart is aching like a cavity.  Right now 
I'm doing my best to hang on to my sanity, but I really want to shout profanity.
       I notice an attractive couple hand-n-hand laughing and enjoying a morning stroll; and 
for some reason I can't control, I feel a sense of peace glow within my soul.  My insecurities 
diminish from their dark hellhole.  I begin to feel "whole," and suddenly this morning doesn't 
seem so cold.
       I get up from the bench shaking off the numbness that has set in.  A very pretty woman 
walks by with her dog and I grin.  She notices and smiles back.  Wow!  A kinda smile that is 
only meant for kodak!  I watch her walk past me with her dog leading the way.  Something 
tells me "you better not let this one get away."  As I'm listening to my inner voice, she 
glances back over her shoulder, and I knew that she too was giving me a choice.  Amazing 
how just several minutes ago my entire world seemed so dark.  I now knew everything was 
going to be okay because of this bench in Central Park......


* 10th Place win in "Anything Goes" Contest 
   sponsored by A Rambling Poet



Details | Quatrain | |

STUFF HAPPENS

Life happens when you're busy,
Making other plans,
And things are often side tracked,
By circumstantial demands.

When you least expect it,
And sometimes when you do,
Life throws you a curve ball,
And some folks sit and stew.

They fuss and cuss and grumble,
Stomp their feet and call out names,
When it's just life in one big bundle,
And there's no one to blame.

Stuff happens, that's the way it is,
Grow up and face the facts.
Learn to face it like a man,
Stop putting on an act,

Like everything should be just fine,
Should be a bed of roses,
Well every rose bush has some thorns,
As well as blossoms for our noses.

Life justisn't perfect.
It's just not meant to be.
It's not your fault and it's not mine.
There's no use blaming me.

Relax and learn to smile at life.
Just take it as it comes.
You really have no other choice.
You might as well have fun.

Learn to laugh at life, Chill Out,
You'll come out better in the trade,
If when life hands you some lemons,
You'll make some lemonade.

You'll live a whole lot longer,
And maybe keep your wife,
If you stop your griping,
And accept that that's just life.

                                   Judy Ball


Details | Blank verse | |

Hope

Some divine light
Beams upon my life

Every day the same sight:
A star beyond shallow sky,

Would I see you if I die?


Details | Rhyme | |

Shameful Morning

not sure how she got here 
only know she needs to leave

underneath the stranger 
my arm numb; asleep, 
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry 

princess of night 
exposed by light. 
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess. 

bed broken
along with my will. 
I swore never again; 
the lie is half the thrill.

~JSLambert


Details | Prose Poetry | |

a fair day

It was a fair day for silence.

The sun had risen up courtly, almost mechanically,
Like a marionette on the strings of a puppeteer.
With the sun came Heat, wrathful to have been woken at such an hour.
As if avenging its early rise, 
Heat caused oppression, 
Discomfort and confusion 
Upon the innocent day.

It was a fair day for exclusion.

Only one was oblivious to the relentless heat,
He sat there motionless, lifeless and corpse-like.
They would glance at him nonchalantly.
He was just a piece of the scenery, 
Always had been there, 
Always would be there, 
Invisible.

It was a fair day for neglect.

Some say once he had been aware,
But life had hollowed him out, 
Left him a shell, 
Unmoving, 
Unblinking.
The day progressed, the light dimmed, 
It was as if fate and destiny had led him to this moment.
If anyone had cared to look, they may have noticed a glint in his eye.
He liked the sunset.

It was a fair day for an end.

The sun slowly made its way back home.
Heat gradually left, bored with the sun’s absence.
Silence was once more.
The sun closed its eyes. 
The moon began its regime over the obeying night sky.

It was a fair day for sweet nothing.

He still sat there, 
But no one knew.
So was he still alive, 
If no one saw him die?


Details | Rhyme | |

The Illusion of Magic

It's the empty spaces
That we long to fill
It's our lifelong dreams
Lying unfulfilled

The apathy takes hold
The caring ceases
A semblance of a normal life
Lies at our feet in pieces

When the magic no longer amazes
And charm has all but died
Nothing left to hold onto but hope
And give it another try


Details | Ballad | |

Across the Way - The Sequel

Another day and the dishes have piled up yet again
So back I end up in front of the window 
I do not glance up, but concentrate
On the dull, dirtied objects before me
I do not hear the voices from yesterday
I still wallow in the grime of gray
I smile in malcontent
As I lather the dishes with soap
Against my will, I look up 
To see a lone, fat man opening a refrigerator
He is shirtless, bulgy, and he looks pregnant
My first supposition is to laugh
But I only look back down at the dishes
Not wanting to stare at the fat man
Not wanting to think he looks pregnant
For sure not wanting him to be my neighbor
Across the way

Against my will again, I look up
The fat, pregnant man is gone
I see ornaments on the refrigerator
Some pictures, some magnets
Family; not so different from my life
But yet, there is a transparent fancy of mystery
A flashy rage of difference in the silence
Oh, so quiet
The blazing sun sprays its light upon the hour
Not only are my hands wet from the soapy water
The deafening tone of quietude
Revels in me a mixture of loneliness and physical heat
A burning desire for something not seen
A desire for utter disgust of my newly found neighbors
But I find myself not disgusted at all
Until I look up again and see a fully naked man at the window
Across the way


Details | Rhyme | |

Beyond My Mind

Blue or green? The color of the sea, Going up and down the waves, To be my unexpected mood, Sweet or sour the feeling of me. The question of my mind hitting it through the divine, The passion of art inside a deep mind, With full of imaginations, Hitting me through left and right. Perspective comes along with me, Seeing it in my mind, Looking at the blank paper, My emotions run down the pages, Forgetting my visions along, Looking down on paper, Loosing my focus , Is getting hard to draw. Speaking with my wild heart wide open, Thinking of the world we live in today, Standing amongst the people not knowing what to say, Hearing the music flowing into my ears, Beating myself inside these walls of hate, Wanting my eyes to cry with full of tears, Hating to be on this earth, Seeing people fade away, Sinking through lies in my face, Stabbing me in the back when I need them the most, Seeing people with unwanted faith through their eyes, Anger comes my way, Looking down at the world with full of questions in my head, Going crazy with frustration and confusion of me questioning God, Deep inside my heart is burning with poison, Is breaking me apart like glass, At peace without a path in mind, Falling down somewhere here that I never belong, I'm not perfect yet, I like to lead not to follow others. Life is like a tree that grows inside me, Leafs on the tree come and go like people in my life, Taking the road of life, Things can change in a minute, When I look away, My goals would fade away, Going back letting noting stand on my way, Trying harder to focus on my goals, Looking around with a smile on, Reaching my goals slowly without a distraction.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Discordant

My guitar strings in the moonlight should be something beautiful,

but the cold liquid white just makes everything harsher.

–not soft like snow, but deceptively fine –

Light is discordant 

like my clumsy fingers that keep 

mutilating the restless heavens with their attempts at mourning.


Why won’t they move right,

Don’t they realize how much depends on perfection?


I’m right here; I mutter to the stars and pray they spread it out over you

Like the night they hold up while atlas dreams.

But I’m not there. I’m not even anywhere –

I can’t put a finger on me.

I’m not real. I whisper over the translucent shell of my existence 

and drench myself in intangible alabaster…

and I’m not real because I need your voice

to tell me I’m not invisible,

to stop me from falling up like a red balloon.

I don’t want to be the scar in the sky anymore.


I’m looking at patterns of patterns of the beyond

and no matter how many constellations I calculate in my head

the lines here, here, and here, easy as you please

I shiver because I know it makes no sense.

Not like we did.


I’m walking on edges of that metallic element of pale

and grasping red-rimmed fistfuls of atmosphere

but they’re never close enough, the stars–

and that’s why they’re there. That’s what I’ll tell my children. 

They’re just the paint-brush splattered whim of 

some malevolent deity –

Maybe we all are. I write it down, “paint-splatter of flesh” 

tracing finger-prints through indignant sprigs of lawn.

But I might as well be writing on the bathroom mirror 

because the words still won’t come out right.


And now everything’s backwards –

and you can’t fall up

and you can’t explain god

and you can’t fix light, even if it looks broken

and you can’t reflect sound, even if you angle it just so.


I can’t live like this.


Details | I do not know? | |

Hypochristians

They say to worship to get back into church
That all I need do is fall to my knees and repent
Then all this personal pain he will prevent
To kneel and pray to “The Soveriegn God”
Well, my knees are bruised and scabbed 
Where is this God of yours I ask
Guess I’m not really a fan of his work
As I walk through this existence 
Sufferring is all I see
War in the desert neverending
Children dying so young
Little boys and girls raped by the clergy
Destruction Hate Crimes against humanity
Where is this God of yours I ask
They say Christianity is the way 
Well, bullsh!t! That’s what I say.


Details | Free verse | |

My Calling

Reasonings

Too few
Hopefully more

My resentment flairs
My will ebbs
Still looking elsewhere

I won’t just leave
I care too much
My heart is here
Have more to give

Want answers to my whys
Know I’ll never truly know
Doors of opportunity may open
But I still hold hope
Knowing this is my calling


Details | Rhyme | |

MY TRUTHS & THOUGHTS

we're living in an era of ignorance 
we lost our innocense
at fourteen your too young to vote but old enough for death sentences

these politcians are hypocrits
for the atrocities that they commit we face imprisonment

durring this pro American sentiment
how could we forget the scores of poor ignored
while we finance a war 

that bombs then rebuilds them
feed their children

while the ones back home
have to fend for their own

life is wonderul and miserable depends on the time frame
the birth of Almasi(my son) the death of Dwayne(my cousin)

I went bezerk it hurt clutching his blood soaked shirt
while he lay on the Earth leaking blood on the dirt
I cried to the sky please guide me father
at times this world is so dark I need night vision goggles

i lost friends to ignorance
bullets and jail stints
drug habbits and various patterns of bull ish 
I've navigating through dangerous
streets trying to claim us
beast trying to tame  us
friends turned to strangers
I have ducked heat from flammers
by mennacing strangers
thinking I will survive like gloria gaylor

its a small world but I got big plans
but it gets hard like trying to jog through quicksand
but I found GOD on both knees with cluthced hands 
but kept getting invitations from the Devil to dance

so i went below the surface
became more observant

hand shakes are fake they dont mean a thing
a smile can be a predator preparing his fangs

I severed ties with friends who's minds were stagnated
had king pin dreams but never quite made it

friendships were torn
and habbits were formed

and the ones who escaped crack
heroin snatched

and I engaged in acts that were so unGodly
only he can judge me punish me or pardon me

watching this world makes me shed eye water 
our sons get slaughtered  and denegrated ours daughters
its the sign of the times cant you see that people
first it rained airplanes then the mail was lethal

ghetto youths indisputes they spray A.K s
suburban kids throw pipebombs in school hallways
after so many years of feeding violence to youths
I guess those chickens came home to roost


Details | Bio | |

I Close My Eyes

I close my eyes
And back home I am
Looking out those
Century old windows
My inner tears
Would burst a dam

I remember every crack 
In those walls,
Every floor board
Prone to creak
But the happiness
I had there,
Is something I can
now but seek...

Home of fifty years
Saw my tears and my joy
From infancy to adulthood
And the blessed life I'd had there
Since I was but a boy

A place where several
Family members had died
In the old fashioned way
And all those tears I cried...

Not in some remote hospital,
But where they wanted to be
And I'd suely love to die there,
If it was up to me..

But, it was my destiny
To come here, 
In this desolate place
Certainly I'm not that happy
But it's something I must face

I made a mistake,
I should have died there
Where I had lived so happily
And now, I barely care,
What becomes of me
My life is over
Save but a bit of love,
Still directed at me
And each day I wonder,
What do these people see in me?


Details | Quatrain | |

Prelude to a Poke

I do not recall
The bravado with which I spoke
The titillating prose
Seduction’s prelude to a poke
You spoke of love
with a lust that I understand
your heart a bloom
your derriere met my hand
I pulled you closed
my eyes nearly met yours
your bosom winked  
thank God I wore drawers
Do you not see
that my passions are pure
a burning in my loins
for which water has no cure
We gazed upon the heavens
I wrapped her in the moonlight
I looked at the time
my prayers faded into night
We danced till dawn
I had answered her romantic call
I whispered sweet somethings
Before her foot procured my fall


Details | I do not know? | |

Strike

Strike!
O strike thy wisdom
and thy freedom;
strike!

While picket signs aren't weapons,
they arouse violent hymns
and bayonet dreams;
o strike!

Where authoritarian presidents,
governors and dictators
all think alike,
strike;
and strike thee common good.


Strike,
O visionaries
with karma on their side,
where echoes fly like angels
and their halos shine so bright;
strike!

Where slavery's not an option
and poverty no life,
no liberty
or happiness;
strike!

Where no act of violence,
aimed at stifling true justice
ever won.

True justice
always voices it's complaints,
always finds some other means,
never ends with the moon
but starts with the sun,
strike!

Fore there's no future otherwise.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Something Odd Goin' On

What's up?
What's going on?
How come it's 3AM?
And bright as noon?
Have I finally made it
Into a Looney-Tune?

Who left me a hot breakfast,
Then disappeard?
How the hell did I
Overnight grow a green beard?

And that new Lamborgini
In my driveway
Painted purple, black,
and red, each a circle round

Am I a mad old hack?
I see a cab's roof light
On it, like a crown.

The door sign says
$100.00 first quarter mile,
$200.00 each following quarter
So ridiculous I had to smile

Is this someone's idea
Of a joke?
To make of me,
A fool , one to poke?

I grabbed my pants,
To go out to inspect
Golly, gosh darn
This I did not expect...
Every pair had four legs,
you see...
Someone tell me,
How this could be!

Perhaps I'm yet asleep,
And this is but a dream,
Maybe a nightmare brought on
By last night's ice cream
So I dug out the ice cream,
To see the brand and flavor,
Perhaps laced with acid,
By some angry neighbor...

"Trolley Madison" the brand,
The flavor "Mulch"
I start to feel a panic grow,
Turn on the TV to distract me,
You know?
But it does not come on,
The dryer does,
And the radio blasts
A Taliban song,
What the hell is going on?
What part of hell is this?
What did I do so wrong?

Guess I'll go back to bed,
And hope my next awakening
Will be more normal instead,
So I return to my bedroom now,
All I can utter is "Holy Cow!"

For my bedroom is now
A subway station,
Out here in the Kansas plains, to boot!
I better get some whiskey,
I sure could use a toot!

I pour some Southern Comfort,
And out pops corn bread and grits...
I guess I should be grateful,
It wasn't a bowl of horsy sh_ts.

I better call my boss,
Explain I'd be late to work,
But he had never heard of me,
And thought me but a jerk...

And I could hardly
disagree with him,
For when I put down the phone,
The chord was a garden snake
And I was not alone

The cats I don't own,
 the dog I'd dreamed of getting,
All crowded around me,
For food and some petting

In panic, I went out the front door,
Not knowing what to expect
Found myself on the conning tower
bridge,
Of an atomic submarine quite wrecked

Enough!  Enough! Enough!
I cried,
Clenched fist aimed at the sun
Why have you forsaken me?
What wrongful sin have I done?

But the seas did not part,
And the nightmare did restart.
I dove over the side of the submarione,
Ending up next to my bed
On the floor with reality shed.









Details | Free verse | |

Lies

LIES

A web that has no ending
For I can not stop 
Even though I try
Something is wrong with me
Because my judgement is blinded
And I can not see
Every time I make the promise
To quench the desire to mislead
It only adheres for a short moment
Until the web starts to bleed 

The deciet of my words
My voice has no truth
It is an addiction 
A never ending piercing thorn
It is like a paper cut 
That always hurts to the touch
And I am that paper cut
That hurts everyone I touch

Why can't I control this monster inside
It is destroying my very being
It is grasping my loved ones by the heart
Tearing their view of me completely apart
I wish that this was just a dream
That this is not as bad as it seems
And that I am not pushing everyone away

Acceptance is my aime
To be looked upon higher
Eventhough, I have everything I have always visioned
This thing still wants to feed 
I have tried so many times to depress it
So many promises and pleads
To the one above
Whom I know that shows only love
The one who can crush this irritating bug

It yearns so badly to come alive
That I can not contain it
Eventually, it slowly engulfs my soul
Like fumes from a old kerosene heater
Taking away my breath

Some days I try to start a fresh
But, within hours and without even knowing 
Out comes my darkened words
My mind has no control
I Have No Control
Only Lies have Control



Details | Free verse | |

Inherent Temperament

Don't be so tortured, passion.

Don't be so metal rimmed in servitude
to all that's over the top and brimming with enigma's breath
Don't be the pump of blood adrenaline
on all the days one might have called
the moon out on her day of death.

Don't be so riddled, passion.

Don't be so all elusively inclined
to all that want a taste of you with grasping hands
Don't be the hide to seek tonight
in all this dark when even stars
grow quaint in the ignite of their demands.

Don't be so waning, passion.

Don't whisk the room in tenderness
past all the sense of first encounter's countenance
Don't rinse the obligated sigh
in love's delight and broken breath
when all we want is permanence.

Don't be so quiet, passion.

Don't leave us here with metal lips
to kiss desire in last good bye's and marriage vows
Don't rinse your hands of us tonight
as we live on adrenaline 
and bated tongues immerse you even now...


Details | Quatrain | |

A Pegasus's Broken Wings

A poor Pegasus dreams
Of soaring freely in the sky
And to graze on the mountains
With her friends, she would fly.

She awakes with a stutter
Each and every day of her life
Hoping to soar free
As each dream becomes a lie.

She gallops through the meadow
As she tries to take flight
But she falls every time
Wings like a withered kite.

When duty comes and calls
Her friends soar off the cliff
The the poor Pegasus cries
For she shares no part of the myth.

Her hoof's thunder away
As she gallops with all her might
Her wings try one last time
Only to fall out of sight

Each day she weeps alone
As her friend leaps and sings
For poor Pegasus can never fly
With her withered, broken wings.


Details | Rhyme | |

Take Me Away

I dream in darkness.
I sleep to die.
Erase my sorrow.
Erase my lies.
Our burning ashes,
Blacken the day.
A world of nothingness.
Take me away.


Details | Free verse | |

Bite.

Stone apples 
painted green granite
lip gloss lips to kiss them
frozen smiles bitten

Red breath
from a lover's listen
Stone apples
wondering what is missing...


Details | Rhyme | |

Revolution Number '12

Revolution Number ‘12 Old habits are hard to break As are new ones to make But through trial and error And maybe facing a terror One can learn to ease an ache Changing can be like fighting a war Civil civilians, casualties young, and poor The good, green and gold Versus ways ignorant and old May the victors’ world be better than the one before


Details | Free verse | |

I Wonder

Sometimes I wonder,
What ripped us asunder
I wonder...why friends fade away,
I wonder...why death is our destiny,
And as we experience our final day,
I wonder what will become of you and me

I wonder, with eyes dilated,
Why this day was to be so fated...
When all I saw was you walking away
Or your soul released from here...
I see the suffering of Rene'

Our lives are short,
I wonder what ought
To have been,
Is there some reasoning
For the the ultimate sadness
Towards which we spin?

I wonder if we'll ever understand
What it's all about
I wonder, and wonder,
What was God's plan grand?

I could have redone this life
And accomplished so much more
But now it's too late,
For death approaches my door.


Details | Alliteration | |

NO MORE NEXT TIMES

The whole house was dim
Only the oven flames burning
We couldn't find you
Our blood began  churning

We scoured each room
Our heartbeats are yelling
To find you alone
Deranged and  repelling

You stink of poison 
It seeps through your skin
An odor so potent 
So easy to pin

I smell the resin
Of two day old sweat
Your eyes somehow open
With no signs of regret

A vision of a junkie
No more and no less
To weak to confront it
Just claim duress

Your cheeks sunken deeply
Thinned to the bone
Straggly haired
A look made of stone

Lips dried to crust
Feverishly dehydrated
Spoke like a child
Eyes blank and dilated

The sirens grew closer 
You resisted the aid
I promised you solace
But you can’t be afraid

A few hours later
You were awake
I begged of you
To know what’s at stake

You created two angels 
That will surely turn sour
Blame it all on yourself
Its their souls you’ll devour

When the urges arise 
Remember the day 
We found you alone 
JUST A HEARTBEAT AWAY


Details | I do not know? | |

My Dad

It never quits
My dad's h i t s
I see myself in the mirror
And I am to become
But I just go numb
It hurts to see
What all he has done to me
It never fails
When he hears me wail
It never quits
My dad's h i t s


Details | Rhyme | |

Girls Like her

Pieces of my mirror crash to the floor
As I throw it against my bedroom door
I’m sick of seeing what I see
I know that other girl just can’t be me

She looks so ugly I’m not surprised 
To see the loneliness swimming in her eyes
That girl just doesn’t know when to quit 
And quite frankly I’m getting sick of it

From head to toe she’s just a mess
To lock her away would be for the best
I really don’t think anyone would care
If she went to her room and just stayed in there

For girls like her there is no hope
Just trying to find different ways to cope 
Girls like her don’t get the cute guy
No matter how hard they try and try

Girls like her grow old and alone
Never will there be a child in her home
She’ll die one day but no one will care 
They’ll just put her in the ground and leave her there

No one to bury her in a proper grave
Just think of all the money that they’ll save
With a nameless headstone and a coffin made of wood
Won’t even use nails though they know they should

Girls like her have no future ahead
Girls like her know their better off dead
As tears fill my eyes so thick I can hardly see
I realize that the girl in the mirror really is me


Details | Shape | |

Layers Of The Ocean

.      .     I   .    .      .      .        .       I      .     .     .     .     .    G    .           .              .
          P    N                                M    L                             U    H
       P          E                          S         E                         A         T
   A                S                    .                S                   L               E                  .
H                      S             .                        .            .                      R            .
                             .     .                                .    .                              .    .

..................................A surfaced "Happily Ever After"...........................................

      
RESENTMENT.          .            .      DENIAL     .          .        .      REGRET       .         .

.......................................Forgave, but wont forget...............................................


PRETENDING .            .           .  LOST HOPE .        .        .        .   LIES .        .        .     

.......................................Crying as my heart prys.................................................


PAIN    .        .         .       .        .    HURT     .      .          .         BURNING        .            

.......................................A lifetime of yearning........................................................

SCREAMING  .        .          .       DECIEVING     .        .          .  BLEEDING        .          

.........................................Forever dissapearing ......................................................

.            .        .      D r a g g e d    U n d e r   T h e   T i d e          .           .          .           

..............................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................................
                                                                   
 S . L . O . W . L . Y 
   
D
  R                        .                            .                     .                     .                    .
    O
      W
         N 
            I                 .                           .                          .                          .
              N
                 G


Details | I do not know? | |

Can I Buy A Cheat Sheet For God's Test?

When we get to Heaven...
will there be a type of ''customs'' 
we have to pass through? 
Will there be a test? 
What will the questions look like? 
Multiple choice, I hope...
I always do better on multiple choice tests.

Maybe this would be a sample question: 

1.  When I pass somebody in obvious need I: 

A.  Walk by and pretend I didn't see them.
B.  Stop and offer help (and hope they decline) .
C.  Stop and help.
D.  None of the above...I don't see anyone else but myself.

Or, maybe they would be questions that we can give a
''never, sometimes, most of the time, always''
type of answer.

Like: 

1.  I thought about other people's feelings: 
___Never
___Sometimes
___Most of the time
___Always

I've given this some thought
not because I have an unexplainable amount of test anxiety.
Rather, I have an unexplainable fear
of not living my life as it was intended to be lived.

And, will this be ''graded on a curve''?


Details | Rhyme | |

a new breath from despair - phoenix rising

"i can see the truth, in pain's honest form
a death rejoiced, a life unknown."


when at times, my despair grows high
i keep with me, an honest nights cry
when darkness closes, and the night is long
i remember the sun, and keep my faith strong

a new day has come, with its own peace of mind
and then i can believe, love isn't that hard to find
i look around and see, the rays of a brand new day
shining brightly all around me, a hope for me to say:


"i can see the peace, in truth's honest form
a life rejoiced, a love reborn."


Details | Free verse | |

Oddly Enough

Multiple fractures of my skull
Makes my thoughts void and null
Motor neurons now shut down
Synapse connections now unwound
Muscles jerk
All thought burned away
But oddly enough
This was my finest day.


Details | Free verse | |

103

Temperature's hovering at 103
Very much too hot for me,
A/C busted, that's
plain to see...
Tenant's squawking
What can I do, let's see....

Stuck in the middle,
The owners just piddle
All I need is a sad fiddle
To accompany my misery

I didn't break it, this I swear,
And should some say so
They'd better take care,
I have my Panzer grenadieres
On full alert,
And it won't be waterguns
That they will squirt

So get a fan, take a cold bath,
Sleep on your patio,
Don't incur my wrath
Take a chill pill.....
Take two or three,
We'll get it fixed,
This I will see...

Not fun being the manager
Responsibility for everything,
Authority to do nothing,
Frustrations build quick,
Can make one quite sick

But, this too shall pass,
Another challenge will
take it's place
Cause this just is an
endless race.


Details | Bio | |

Monday sans him

Sometimes ... there is no reason
     for morning tears.

Distracted me
     tangled in the debris
     of a raging sea.
So very small
the moment
     meant
nothing at all.

And what of that day ....
dismade bed
dirty sock left on the kitchen floor
       I was going to scrub a week ago
left me crying and
cursing
       falling to pieces
where is my other shoe
       my toes are cold
speed bump on shaky knees
spills my morning tea.

Sometimes there is no reason ....


Details | ABC | |

A Yearn for a Smile 9-21-11

	A yearn… simply something that you want or long for. As a yearn to finish, a yearn to achieve, a yearn for a like, a yearn for a smile is something that you drastically want, a desire. Something that you spend long hours, nights even day dreaming hours thinking about how you can earn that smile. What can you do…. or what can you say … things such as a conversation sparks, likes even dislikes, mostly anything that will crack a smile. These are things that truly show signs of something far greater than fame, sex, money, power. What is it? Something more than I have yet to find. So as I search for the answer I over shoot the entrance with rapid thinking of what she wants, her likes, her dislikes. But truly it will only be earned by who you are, what you want to be, yourself, your feelings your desires, your yearn. So when you yearn for that smile or that special something it can only be earned by being you, no one else. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and try to see past the makeup or tan or piercing and just look at yourself… then take that image and imprint it to yourself forever because to find happiness and your yearn  can only be earned one way. Trying to watch her and she how she reacts to certain things just to make myself seem better when I finally open my mouth to her will only make you distant from that special someone.  With me I personally see myself as buff pierced orange person, while trying to continue to follow the people who I look up to the most. So as you struggle and go through life’s trials and tribulations always look at your yearn or what it once it what was. Think about how you felt when you failed or succeeded and try to make yourself a better person from it. Not by adding more glamour or appeal to yourself but by being closer to yourself. What you really are. Because only then can you truly say you earned your yearn of a smile or that special someone, even if there not with you, apart of them will be and that’s the part they left. The part that made you better. More complete. 			So never forget your yearn of her..


Details | Free verse | |

Missing Castles

All the castles
I'd longed to see,
Will never stand
In front of me

All the knowledge
I have gained,
All the emotions,
I have feigned

And now real love
To make me cry
I lie in bed,
I wonder why...

It seems unfair,
But such is life,
I've suffered much,
As with an unfaithful wife

Those castle walls
Will long outlive me,
And it will come the time soon,
For me to see

My maker, 
My love's faker
Heartbreaker,
Soul taker

But I have my one
Ace in the hole,
I've kept one piece
Of me that's whole

That part of me
That believes in me
And no matter
What others see

This part is mine,
And mine alone,
And surely I'll have
Sins to atone,

But this one part,
Unassailable,
Believes in me,
And it knows,
I never hurt anyone,
For I chose

To do what seemed right
And moral too,
And though I'd fight,
To prove it true,

I tried to do 
My very best,
I tried to pass
My soul's real test,

If I failed,
It was by mistake,
All I wanted,
Was a smile to make.


Details | Narrative | |

A Slight Return

Darkness is my life that apears in
light.
Has it come to just another fix.
The smile does conceal my losing fight.

The music the screams within.
The lies eat away at the man I can no 
longer stand.

Hollow is thy heart.
Crimson stains all that is never held in
hand.

It started a game now it's a curse.
In darkness I speak to you
all I could never say.
The man once known to you.
Has all but faded away.

And as I slip into adictions abyss.
Candle lit memories were taken
with the breeze. 
That killed that romantic glow.

As the stranger who exists in the form
once you did love.
Twist's into a form you cannot understand.

I ask out of love for you to forget.
The monster that haunts this form.

In memories true love we will forever know.
The emptyness of of this life.
And the once splendid candle lights glow. 
In truth we die. 
As we live. 
So must we cry. 

Not every every question has a answer my friends. 
Gonzo.


Details | Free verse | |

Back to Sender

You speak of love, and I say nay
Betrayal is more like it
I trusted you, but you took advantage
plundering it to oblivion

Your tokens of love are laughable,
all merely fool’s gold
they satiated me before
now they disgust me                                                                      
          

We speak of different kinds of love
Yours is physical, mine is emotional
and I refuse to give in anymore
so throw away your bargaining chips

This love is not for sale.




**May 25, 2010 written for John’s The Gauntlet contest :)


Details | Haiku | |

Among the Seashells

Forlorn, forgotten;
do tears still exist
at the bottom of the sea?


Details | Free verse | |

where i'm from

i come from
the jungle of despair
with its vines and thorns
full of emptiness
i come from
the nothingness of space
without stars
born of a black hole
a vacuum of longing
i come from
a man and a woman
but not
a mother and a father
not husband and wife
nor even lovers
i come from
potential unrealized
and opportunity missed
slashing away
in the rain forest of frustration
clearing the way
for the seed of hope
i come from
the society that killed
malcolm x
and left me for dead
that promoted slavery
longer than liberty
i come from
here
wishing i was
there


Details | Free verse | |

Venturing The World Above

A continuation of The World Above Me, a special collaberation between myself and my good friend Justin Connor

8/17/12
------------------------------------------------------------------

The shelter opens its door to the world above me
Never have I seen so much destruction

My eyes get used to the brightness,
An unwanted tear trickling down my cheek
But once they are accustomed to the light,
I want to close them again
I feel the urge to turn back
But they push me forward,
Whispering low, consoling words

I look around to see what humanity used to be
Before the devastation
And I marvel at what the old world used to be
But one question remains:
Why did people destroy their lives,
And end the world we used to know?

I walk my feet on the unknown terrain
Ruins. . .debris. . .the air placid and still
All around is rubbish
My mother whispers a prayer from behind
And then I wonder. . .
If God was ever here

As I look around I notice a book
Lying there, upon the ashy wreckage
I pick it up and read. . .
It details a nation’s fight for freedom

A large statue of a man is in the building I stand by
I stare at the brazen figure in awe
The features are crumbling but here it still stands
Watching over its obliterated land
I squeeze the book in my hand
His eyes show loyalty and courage
No sadness—not even a speck of fear

Looking more outwards I see a tall structure
And past that a building with a large dome
The architecture of the old world amazes me
What wonders men have done—could have done
If they hadn’t let each other come undone
In violence and death
Yet still I wonder how these incredible buildings 
Could possibly remain after all that has happened
Like the buildings, we have survived
And hopefully, through lessons learned,
We can thrive

My father tells everyone to clear away the ruins
People even use old machines with cranes
The old world is gone
But from the ashes we can start anew
We were in the shelter for the good of humanity
And now, because of us,
There is hope


Details | Blank verse | |

Yard Work

Yard Work

I worked with stern and determined face
attention on the end of the rake
the fresh grass and orange leaves.

Out of the corner of my eye
I saw a small bird huddled 
fixed against the drain pipe, 
its wings tight against its body. 
It didn't stir. 
I bent closer and
saw the milky film over its dark eyes.

A drape of sadness
was thrown callously over my morning.

I buried it quickly and carefully.
Time to take care to scrape away
the sharp rocks and hollow out a little place
deep enough to keep the dogs away and
with such care 
as I chose the final
home for this tiny thing.

It may have been taken away
to make room for another.
While I write this, several
months have passed and my throat
still tightens from the memory.

Sadness and loss is still with me
and with me for all the birds 
that fall
from their nests 
or the sky
every day 
from now until eternity.


Details | I do not know? | |

Flickering Hope

Follow your heart,
And you'll find your way,
Listen to your heart,
And tell me what it says. 

Deep inside there is a dream,
Something more than it seems,
There seems to be a voice within,
That tells me I should trust Him.

Sometimes it tells me it is going to be alright,
And that there would always be a light shining bright,
But sometimes it feels like I want to surrender,
And my world begins to sunder and shatter. 

It feels now like I cannot go on,
And the path now seems forlorn,
Silent and abandoned for all it may be,
Betrayed by all that was once with me. 

It feels useless and worthless to even try,
For all hopes and dreams began to die,
And it seems everything was a lie,
But time still goes on by and by. 

Hold my hand 
and guide me right.
Never let it go 
and hold it tight.


Details | Free verse | |

The Meaning Of Humankind

The Meaning Of Humankind

Forever people look for a complicated word
Years, decades and centuries they search
One sad word that gives meaning to humankind
Poets have written pages looking for the word
Singers sing their songs trying to find just the right word
Writers tell stories about the search for the word
Not one poem, song or story can find the perfect word
The perfect combination of letters and sounds
No one can find the one word that describes humankind
The perfect word is there right before them
It has been for all the history of the spoken language
In Greek, Latin, English or Aramaic or Chinese it has one meaning
Five letters, three syllables work together to giving meaning to humankind
The word the poets, singers and writers have been searching for
That word is simply alive
A sad word because it always has a final moment, a moment of loss
Yet, a happy word because while we are alive
We live, we love, we learn and we experience life and who we are
Sad or happy “alive” is the meaning of humankind
Thank the gods for the happy moments yet do not fear the sad ones
For that it life
That is the meaning of being alive


Details | Lyric | |

Last Sunday

Rainy Sunday morning lying in bed
Stroking your hair, watching you sleep
My heart beating every beat for you
The way it used to


The train rumbles by waking you
Your sleepy eyes look up at me
I wrap my arms around you
The way I used to


Sitting having tea, enjoying the company
Talking about life and the rain
I can’t take my eyes off you
The way I used to


You lean against me, cuddling up tight
I hold you closely against me
Kindly, gently, comforting you
The way I used to


You lead me by the hand to your bedroom
We undress, kissing passionately, desperately
We hold on tightly and make love
The way we used to


Details | Rhyme | |

Clear Thinking On A Cloudy Day

Memories like you dont always shine true.
Nor do old places hold that magic.
In a life so short.
That seems so traggic.

Im thinking of forever  while slowley fading  away.
Oh such clear thinking  on a cloudy day.

A summer ago is when we met.
So far now it seems.
Yet the still my heart holds no regret.

The poetry you inspired apon this very page.
Is ment to complment a love without age.

Early morning memories that you've lent.
Is simpley a dream of time well spent.

A dark sky hides the sunlights ray.
Such is the clear thinking on such 
a cloudy day.

Im not blind yet for years   
hope has went unseen.
Sometimes age can taint a sweet dream.

Turning bitter the once colorful
fruit.
Killing wonder straight at the root.

A love like our's has kept with change.
And grown in definance.
Like a silly game.
We formed this this passion swept Alliance.

First with love you must blindly fall.
Then you must try to run when you
can bareley crawl.

To outlast the storms is to stand against the wind.
To ignor friends and to put trust in 
a stranger and depend.

Many thoughts run through my head.
In the early morning as she lay against me
in bed.

A heart has many rivers a soul is a endless sea.
As we apart we are caged.
While togather we are free.

From this loves eternal bliss  my heart should never 
stray.
As i sit clear is my thinking on such a  cloudy day.


Details | Ballade | |

Pretty Paper Doll

You scowl in anger as I turn to go,
   Your gemstone eyes so full of jealous heat;
You do not understand, and cannot know
   The thoughts that turn my head and guide my feet.
The image which you have is incomplete,
   And so by definition soon will fall.
Your views are suffocating -- obsolete --
   I will not be your pretty paper doll.

I will not bend my head or stoop down low
   To make myself a mindless slab of meat,
Or let my soul be shaken to and fro
   To lose itself and crouch beneath your seat.
Would you deny my voice to hear the bleat
   Of brainless chatter, just to watch me crawl
To bed and spread my legs beneath your sheet?
   I will not be your pretty paper doll.

An ever-changing wind will come and blow
   Through Winter, Spring, and Summer, in the street;
And restless waters will forever flow,
   Their colors cool, their textures smooth and sweet;
Yet you would change the pulsing, throbbing beat
   Of Life and Love, to answer ev'ry call.
Mistakes made in the past, you would repeat --
   I will not be your pretty paper doll.

Your mental boxes, always stacked and neat,
   Have packed my essence up against a wall.
Take care, my love -- this gypsy heart is fleet;
   I will not be your pretty paper doll.


Details | Rhyme | |

Lense Illusions

I looked at snapshots
From a bygone day
Were things as great
As people like to say

Everything picture perfect
Clothing and smile
Captured by the camera
These pictures in my pile

There is my old self
With a knowing look
The memories flood back
Like pages from a book

As I keep flipping
My tears make me shake
Taking this look back
What a huge mistake

So back in the box
To the rear of the shelf
Hidden but not forgotten
Still a part of myself



Details | Rhyme | |

Freedom Vs. War

Freedom: 
Tonight is the night I fill the sky
With pure scents of Jasmine and Anise 
Tonight people shall rest in peace
For no one shall be a worthless spy

War: 
Your dream shall never come true
You are nothing but a shadow on a wall
For you are always in the blue
Even lightning and thunder make you askew
You see, I am the energy people need
I am the one that waters the seed
Without me, the world is nothing
Without me, news will be boring

Freedom: 
Ha! Is that what you think?
People treasure me deep within
For I am their twin
I am there writing ink
Haven’t you heard in what you call “news?”
How many repeat the words of “Freedom of speech?”
Behold those who chanted my name 
Recording the pages of history
Celebrate not you treacherous monster!
For the people shall rejoice once more

War:
I shall never let you destroy what I have built!
Freedom shall never seep into my soldier’s heart!
For they have no wisdom to make them feel guilt
I shall always have smoke ready to start
Until I demolish the sky;
until I see it cry…
The world shall collapse, turning into dust!!
Damage, chaos, and WAR are a must!!!

Freedom:
Today, people might not see me
But, tomorrow everyone is going to be free
I shall plant unison in today’s children
I shall always whisper into their ears
Awaiting the day where I, Freedom, shall become your fear
The day where you shall turn into DUST!!!
A spell shall be cast to banish you away
Nightmares shall haunt you as you play

War: 
Mommy!! You scared me!!!
Look out, Freedom is coming after me!!
HA! What you say is nothing but Fantasies
Fantasies that shall crush you when…
Screams are heard instead of laughter…
Bombing is heard instead of parties…
Thus, I advise you to wipe away every Hope within you
Come, join me, and we shall rule the world…

Freedom:
Never!! Your schemes shall never work on me!!
Enjoy what remains
For it is not more than the ticking of the clock 
That shall wipe out your existence


Though War is one of the physical influences in our world,
People might be delightful mirrors from the outside
And an intruder with a gun deep inside
Never nod your head in agreement to one who seems kind
For in the end, the idea of a friend dies with the wind

Always stand up for yourself and do not Always agree on what it said


Details | Free verse | |

Drowning in a box of condoms

    I'm a virgin. 
 Yet I'm a peer educator 
  I teach people about sex
    and how to put on the condom.
    sometimes the irony does bother me
 There's an endless supply of condoms 
     in my custody daily yet I have no need for them
     You should see the eager faces of the kids  
    grabbing them out of boxes like their gods best made gift
      I can't share in their glory 
      all I can do is watch 
        I hate  watching
         I'm mostly a doer not a witness
         So in this case I just feel out of place
             out of context
              Lost? Not exactly
              Cause i'm not exactly a saint
                  I probably know more than the one's who are active
                   which makes the irony even more ridiculous. 
                        But I guess it's just that need to be in with the crowd 
                            The need to feel like I belong
                               Less and less virgin's hang around these parts
                                   I'm starting to feel like i'm the only one left
                                             like i'm waiting for nothing. 
                                                         The condom box is calling out to me
                                                          The multiple flavors tempt me to taste. 
                                                                     Yet i'm still me. Therefore i'm lame. 
                                                                     Therefore i'm waiting...
                                                                    For what i'm not even sure anymore.
                                                                    I though it was because I was looking for the right guy 
                                                                     Maybe i'm just inept in this area. 
                                                    LoL that's a laugh. My body knows I'd  be a champ.
                                                                  But it also listens to my head. 
                                                                               Maybe that's what's the problem.
                                                                               Who knows? 
                                                                All I know is that i'm drowning in a box of condoms. 


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 1 of 2

Around that table, picture the scene
Self appointed leaders if you know what I mean
What were the topics on the Agenda that day
The Jewish race is about to pay

Who gave the right for this decision that's made
Who has the right to cleanse and degrade
To decide who lived, to decide who dies
Another chapter, I still wonder why

They came in the day they came in the night
Women and children pulled out of sight
Herded aboard like cattle and sheep
Many a family awoke from their sleep

Dazed and confused as they are taken away
Where will they be at the end of the day
From their warm houses and their warm beds
What must be going through their heads

As they travel through days and through the night
Up ahead, they see lots of lights
They depart the trucks and board the train
Their faces scared under the strain

Asking questions from family and others
Generations, sisters and brothers
Why are we here, where are we going
Windowless carriages with no way of knowing

We come to a stop, soldiers aplenty
Towers and wire, topped with sentries
What can this place be they have taken us to
As we head to large gates as they shuffle us through

Families separated, herded in file
Women and children, not one did smile
Taken to rooms where our heads were shaved
Is this the way humans behaved

Clothes discarded, as we enter the shower
No signs of water no signs of power
Doors slammed as we are all crammed in
History will recall this evil of sins

As we stand in the dark, chanting Jewish faith
Can hear the voices can't see the face
Noises above, do the showers start
The event has begun that tells us Humans apart

Questions and sighs, as walled vents show daylight
Some thing is falling then their slammed tight
A strange aroma starts to fill the air
As all around are screams of despair

Twenty minutes have passed and the quietness is rife
Two thousand people, two thousand lives
Pellets called HCN, or Hydrogen Cyanide
Contribute to this Genocide


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | Rhyme | |

Lamentable You

Hell seemed to encompass the land As I watched him holding your hand For a moment I was happy for you And then my shameful heart gave way Earth longed to suck me in its waters Above fellow demons and their hollers We rue the day we ever existed Longing for the touch of human flesh We were trained to eat at your souls To fill your poor deprived holes With filth and emaciated sin Slithering within…bellowing within… And when I look at him I know he’s yours I should have seen it coming of course You never wanted a nothing like me And someone is to blame I see The voices in your head made you cower You once were awed by my power But now the beauty of love has destroyed us I am nothing, and he is yours Take her you bastard of a fool! I don’t need anyone, for I will rule I will rule over her vessel And mark me, she will detest you! Remarkable as she is you will leave her While I in the darkness keep her But for now I’ll lie in wait For the perfect time to ensnare Let go of his hands And allow this heart a chance Let the man lose his compass Only to stumble upon a new woman Oh, lamentable you! I force your love to be true Kiss me, my hate—my love, you fool! He’s never coming back for you! Because you are not special You belong to nobody—nothing! And you shall find That you were always… MINE.


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Just say GO

Just say GO An imaginary race, Running nowhere fast, Sweat pours down my face, Hoping time has passed. Pop a pill an hour, Distractions proving gold, Hop into a shower, Warm away the cold. Drink. Drink. Drink. Substitute the full. Sink. Sink. Sink. Deeper in the hole. Hold on tight, The pain will cease, Then again, It might increase. Watch the mirror, Let me know, Tell me truthfully Friend or foe? Touch me, Love me, Praise me, If only you knew how, The aching doesn’t phase me, I feel what I allow. Run, fall, stop, Sweat, sorrow, hurt, Water, faster, pop, Strong will, assert. Temptation everywhere, Peel away my skin, Please don’t ever stare, At what’s left within. Gorge, eat, fill, Shower, cry, sleep, All against my will, Guilty secrets keep. Awake again tomorrow, Vow a better day, Full of shame and sorrow, Starting over is ok…. Run harder, sweat more, Pill, water, hands shake, A casualty of food and war, Legs, arms, stomach, ache. Exhaustion engulfs, Weakness follows, Fade into sleep, Darkness swallows. Make it stop, Pill, run, sweat, eat, Spin my top, Lose, gain, win, defeat. Drop down, Shake, cry, Breathe slow, Smile, die.


Details | I do not know? | |

Whispers

I once heard a saying,
that the happiest people are the saddest
Shining because they’ve seen the darkest
Like the lotus that grows out of mud
Or the rotting stump that bears a bud..

You never know what troubles the mind
So be careful with words unkind
The glowing person just beside you
Could be a crumbling ruin behind the hairdo
 Most people struggle everyday
Souls burdened with decay..

I guess it takes a lot of courage
To act normal with that damage
Hard to believe that under the surface
Lives a soul with no purpose
A cry for help won’t be any crisper
Listen to the their inner whisper..


Details | Rhyme | |

THESE LIPS ARE TO COLD TO KISS

Time, is combined, in my mind.
Tragedy trickles to nowhere,
And now this pain I bare.
Seeing you for your worth,
Hearing you are only earth.
Killing, and filling, this feeling.
Lame, losers look like you.
Now this heart you threw,
Up on, and left the mess.
So this is progress?
Torture, under, this blur.
Blindsided by big, bountiful, beams,
That left me in shattered dreams.
Never thought I could catch this,
Because these lips are to cold to kiss.


Details | I do not know? | |

Alone I Stand

In frozen ivory towers and burning dungeons
The inescapable truth is that in the darkness
Even your shadow leaves you
Stare at the abyss and the void fills you
Your mind trapped as you hide your black-hole heart
Shadows lurking out of sight
Manifestations surround you
the journey of the hopeless soul
Is it a lesson that must be endured
To make the heart steady
So that when you reach the end
You truly appreciate how bad it could have been
And what you’re capable of
So that you know that you all need
Is your beating heart and nothing else
Just you
Believing in a dream..
Something that
The darkness
Can’t touch.


Details | Free verse | |

Darkness

Complete darkness
No sound at all
This is where you live
No one to talk to
The blackness, engulfing
Smothering the air out of you
In this vast void with lack of light
You are forced to believe
That you see a speck
A tiny green light
Way off in the distance
This blot of light brings so much hope
So many desires
You can hardly breath
Suddenly the light grows larger
You feel elated
Then FLASH
Complete darkness
No sound at all
Things are back
To the way they will always be


Details | Quatrain | |

medicine

medicine
grant me grace
walking through
this ghost of faith

burn the edge
of my desire
numb the burn
red of fire

medicine
my dullest friend
let me wake
and sleep again

blur my fate
bring me low
humble quiet
liquid soul

medicine
dream no more
search not of
look not for

passion's gate
deep within
dreams will float
a lake of sin

medicine
oh life unsure
blurring  days
a quiet cure

yes I thought
more in youth
now a lie
blessed truth

medicine 
your will is mine
live between
space of time

bring me forth
heaven's gate
lacking love's
forgiven hate


Details | Ballad | |

Goodbye

I will take your bitterness and I will rise above From you, I do not feel the love I cannot fight you but, that does not mean I cannot win I simply will not allow you to break me down, again You want me to fall Now I am taking a stand For your words and your weakness Go hand in hand I will no longer live my life for you or anyone else It is time that I start living for myself It is your turn to listen to what I have to say I will no longer let you stand in my way You are a part of my life I must let go You are someone I wish I did not know I must follow the path ahead of me Courage and strength will see me through For, I am finally done with you So take these words as my final cry For this is the day that I say goodbye


Details | Lyric | |

Borderline's Wreckage

I'm Agonizing every Word that my mind Creates You've done this all to me release your wrath to Me You wonder How much a Human Heart can take I've reached the limit You've invaded me on every level none of this is Mine anymore I can't bleed enough for You We're through This, This Torture Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You Feel Free to abuse If it's you I won't lose The Winds push away The Vines pull forth I'm at a lose on what to do So very lost and Confused Don't say we're through Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You I Hate you ...Don't leave me I push you so far away But need you so close I'm on the edge you're all I really need I'll do anything Just don't Abandoned me leaving has it's toll Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You


Details | Free verse | |

Damaging Calm

Swirling, chaotic, unending, torturous, darkness.  Black as the deepest black, he sits, 
wondering how could she nurture his dark side.  This blinding rage that fills his soul, is 
so foreign, he’s usually so calm, and collected.  But she is starting to damage his calm.  
This music isn’t helping, nothing does.  It just builds and builds the temperament slowly 
getting worse and worse.  This poison is killing him, if he doesn’t release it, he will 
explode.  But where does he turn to let loose the torrential hatred?  How can he loose 
this torment on others and live with himself.  To be or not to be violent, THAT is the 
question.  Does he continue to proliferate, or does he release upon the masses.  Which 
is the lesser of two evils, to die from his own abomination, or does he smite those who 
cause this?


Details | Ode | |

The Unknown Poet n' the Lover with an Immortal Heart (Part 5 Final)

This new born day I celebrate your souls release from guilt n’ captivity since that day you 
felt a carnal touch of sin within as your hands played poetically upon the curves of your dead 
lover’s silken skin…
I know now  you made your way to the top of the rocks to plant a tree to guard this sacred 
place where I fell from thee n’ you repeated the poetic chant of love’s abandoning to follow 
me into our karmic destiny…

On that fateful day your soul bled away at the top of this crest by a solitary juvenile tree, 
your body of words fell to the rocks at the base of this cliff, embroidered into the blood of 
me…
The one who would hold a feather to her face on this crest by the sea n’ remember finally 
the days gone by of you n’ me, our deaths from love’s abandoning when you my love were 
lost to this world n’ me for ten centuries…

I now await destiny as we will love forever more with immortal hearts…


Details | Narrative | |

this was me

it began so innocently
we exchanged ideas on poetry
his art, the suffering he endured
he preyed upon my compassion
as he meticulously bided his time...

i felt safe as we expressed
our mutual love of words
i was excited, i was learning,
unbeknowst to me, i was his prey..

many months and thousands of hours, 
talking, reaffirmed my trust; faith in him
he shared his life, triumps & tragedies
i supported all he desired for himself..

i understood, i felt his pain, 
his drive i admired, he overcame tremedous odds,
became a doctor so others would not suffer as he had;
he baited me; the innocent and naieve one.

living life with no regret,
i chose to take a leap of faith,
he guided me, alleviated my fears,
of promises to cherish and adore me..

as a tiger waits patiently to pounce on his prey
i was oblivious to his hatred inside,
he was a master of manipulation
his mission - to destroy me..

i felt he was worth giving 
up all i knew to build a life
he so lovingly described to me,
little did i know, his words - poison..

america bound i left everything i knew; i loved.
the terror of his drunken rages, his icy silence,
the cruelty of his words stung like red hot coals.
what he admired most about me,intensified his hatred.

the vacancy in his eyes was terrifying, 
i was alone in a strange country, 
knowing no one, in a house, not a home, 
full of tension, rage, abuse; numb and in shock;
this was my reality..

with each painstaking day of living in terror
dreading his arrival, my fear reached new heights;
i had enough; i was leaving.
his rage increased, his words pure venom..

i was numb, shaking, fear drove me to action
he became desperate, i did not sleep 
for fear of never waking, his actions so terrifying
i felt a strength within, empowering me..

planning my escape, fear became my ally,
i reached the airport and did not stop shaking
until safely on the plane, doors shut, 
moving down the runway to take-off;
i wept, i crumbled, i collapsed.

jubilantly at home, i felt peace, safe, 
and soaked in the beauty of my freedom; my home.
it has been six weeks; i have flashbacks, 
terror still haunts me; i am determined 
to not let another change me.

i am healing and am grateful for every
moment i smile, smell a flower, witness
the marvel of each sunrise and sunset.
i am a blessed girl.

~this was me~ 


Details | I do not know? | |

They Think They Know

People say that they know,
Then she asks them is that so?
Do you know how I feel?
Do you measure every meal?
What it's like to take a shot,
At 7 o'clock on the dot?
You don't know a single thing,
Of the girl with a broken wing.
She's limited on her food,
Which puts her in a real foul mood.
When her blood sugar suddenly drops,
She all of a sudden flips and flops.
She can't even stand up strait, 
She thinks that she might actually faint.
You people think you understand, 
The most you can do is lend a hand.
Diabetes is no joke,
She can't even have a single coke.
She and her mom worry every day,
They wonder if she'll be okay.
Her bloodsugar can drop really low,
She can instantly become a real big foe.
It can even go really high,
She swears that it can reach the sky.
So for the people that say they know,
I ask them now, is that so?


Details | Free verse | |

The Doll

10-21-12

Like Sally I sense tragedy’s at hand For this heart can only sew so much Until all string is used to the last strand Hanging dolls staring at my lonesome self I wish I was more than what they see If only they’d welcome me on their shelf My porcelain skin would win over all Inanimate beings look alive at my face As I let my angriest plastic tear fall I can’t be SxTxIxTxCxHxExD this time. . . I can’t be displayed. . . I can’t remove the grime I’ve become the doll And we all sense the worst A happy ending for them all And when they finally welcome me to their shelf It is empty and caked with dust Leaving me staring. . . at MxYxSxExLxF Like Sally I sensed tragedy at hand But unlike her, that’s how I stay I stay. I stay. I stay. SxTxOxP. . . IxT IxS SxTxAxRxIxNxG AxGxAxIxN. . . SxHxE WxOxNxT LxExT MxE SxLxExExP SxHxE HxAxTxExS MxE. . .


Details | Rhyme | |

The Mayan Declared

The year is 2025 I have come back to my past To witness the Mayans Who said Earth would not last 2012 Was the year they declared That the planet we knew Could never be spared An Asteroid shower We could never comprehend Sends this heaven to hell In catastrophic spend The first to hit Was the daddy of them all Our axis twisted The human race in fall Just of Madagascar In the Indian Ocean It's where it all started That set our demise in motion Tsunami waves Like giant tower blocks Swamped Indonesia As Polynesia rocked The force of impact Reverberated west On the Canary Islands A dormant volcano so reft It's massive mountain side Into the Atlantic slipped To the eastern seaboard Of the United States it shipped A second Tsunami Half the world long Would submerge the east Taking the weak and the strong The second to hit Hit a place struck before Tunguska in Russia Receives another sore Daylight turns to night As earth meets our skies Fallout from the reactors In shattered demise Radiated clouds Eventually filter down Leaving bleeding lacerations As we humans death drown Smaller asteroids Some just a few hundred feet Around the world they were marvelled Until they meet their greet The place where I stand now Was Yosemite National Park Now dark ridges of black So bare and stark It's been many many years Since the sun shone through the screen When I close my eyes I remember When the earth was lush and green How many of us survived Will we ever know Was this in our destiny I think all around me, now shows


Details | Lyric | |

Mockingbird Still Sings

Children sexually abused
Hiding secrets none accused 
Mockingbird still sings

False Charities stealing money
Laughing while nothing’s funny
Mockingbird still sings

Corporations shredding evidence
Seas of hypocrisy and decadence
Mockingbird still sings

Cheating partners losing trust
Teens pregnant from a night of lust
Mockingbird still sings

Rape victims ashamed to speak
Lives destroyed remaining meek 
Mockingbird still sings

Middle East raging in war
All for pride nothing more
Mockingbird still sings

Delicate babies addicts born
Crack whore moms selling porn
Mockingbird still sings

Gang bangers need attention
Killing for an honorable mention 
Mockingbird still sings

Fools and vengeance shall expire
For winds of change to transpire
While mockingbird still sings


Details | I do not know? | |

I never saw it coming

I never saw it coming 
It just crept up unawares
Probably this morning
Whilst I was still upstairs
I thought I caught a glimpse 
As I had my tea and toast
For just a fleeting moment
Like a phantom or a ghost
It was later that it hit me
And the feeling left me cold
I realised that suddenly
I’d gotten bloody old
Looking in the mirror
For reflections never lie
I saw a total stranger
And he looked me in the eye
Reflecting on the image
And all that I could see
Sadly I concluded
That this, was really me

……………………………….......I never saw it coming 


© John W Fenn  20-08-2009


Details | Free verse | |

Invisible

The screams so loud
That within their distance
People stand and cry
But the tears and screams
Invisible

The impact of the punch
A crater on a child's life
People shake their heads
But the punch and judgement
Invisible

Invisible screams
Invisible fears
Invisible lives
Torn apart in invisible times

Invisible child 
Not knowing where to turn
To escape what so many choose not to see

Invisible child
Sleeping in invisible arms
Where invisible child is desperate to sleep tonight

Only when they put a tiny body into a sack
The tape rings the place where at
All that was invisible before
Suddenly becomes a cause

Invisible the bruises that grew with the tears 
The fractured bones 
That lay alone
Invisibly

Invisible
The childhood crushed
Invisible
All the hatred that bleeds
Invisible
Those lost forever in the scream

Invisible
All those who beg to forget
For all that others could not see
To become invisible


Details | Quatrain | |

Minor Discomfort

Does everybody feel the same as I do?
Lost? Adrift? Disconnected? Confused?
Does anyone know how to ease the hurt of truth
For the accuser, as well as the accused?

I've heard there's bliss
Found somewhere in ignorance
For those who have been stripped
Of their already fleeting innocence

So I continue to move through this life
Practiced smile, that doesn't quite reach my eyes
Which instead reflect the emptiness
That fills me up inside

It hurts to feel so alone and uncertain
Consumed by doubt and fear
Eventually life becomes a burden
Damaged beyond all repair

The temptation to numb all sensation
It more powerful than one might believe
I'll sacrifice the pleasure, to relieve the devastation
As passion gives way to apathy

Say whatever you want
About those who dwell on the past
Go ahead and judge me from your moral soapbox
While you cower behind your mask

The opinions of most matter very little to me
It won't be taken to heart as you intend it to be
First you'd have to practice the words you preach
If you ever do then I promise I'll start listening


Details | Free verse | |

No Longer Care

If my jar of tears is full,
Does that mean I won’t cry anymore?

If I’m already broken in a million pieces,
Does that mean I can no longer break?

If I stick the knife far enough in,
Will I become numb to the pain?

If I bleed until I bleed out,
Does that mean they can no longer hurt me?

If my ears become deaf to their words,
Will I never again have them scar me?

If my skin continues to grow thicker,
Will one day I no longer care?

And if I no longer care,
Does that mean I’ll survive?


Details | Lyric | |

Why Must It Be

Can I let you go? Will you be okay? Where you're headed now...to a better place Listen to my words of forgiveness relieving this pain I'd give anything to have you back again To hold you once more in my arms, one more day of happiness you now dwell within my heart Your innocent smile is forever a distant memory, and the times that we share are precious treasures that I spend reliving The Shadow of Death Took you in just one breath Why must it be? I cry behind this closed door, searching desperately for an answer, yet all I feel is an emptiness inside... despair haunts me forevermore Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave? Why does this have to hurt? Cancer robbed thy life from thee... Why must it be? Fly away Angel Child of Mine Trod thy broken paths, roam away, fly and be free... Why must it be?


Details | I do not know? | |

THE PRICE OF OIL, PART I

The nurse ordered her to push, push, push
in her best proper voice 
and linen balled in red fists knotted
and sweat falls from red face knotted 
while Billy, head first, tugged and yanked by nurse's proper hands, 
emerges, gently laid upon the blood soaked sand 
motionless in the sulfur haze, almost well-behaved 
amongst the rifle clatter and bewildered screams - 
get down! get down! get down! 
while Billy breathes slowly, undisturbed, 
his eyes closed with new mom 
gently caressing matted, cark curls, 
her fingers, no longer knotted, extended,
Billy's tiny hands and infant fingers 
grip the plastic ribbing 
around the rifle barrel smeared in stickiness that flows out 
from below Billy and onto sand, puddling, his lips chapped and parted, 
suckling as new mom exhausted weeps 
in relief of two arms and two legs and everything okay 
as she holds him, hurting for him, 
everything that might happen, 
everything that will happen, 
and she drifts off to slumber, 
mother and child peacefully spent 
in soft pretty colors 
and the soft murmur of the television as the sedan 
with government plates at the curb 
and a Marine in dress blues (Oh, God) stands plastic in the doorway 
and uses his best proper voice (Oh God, not Billy, Oh God) 
to regretfully tell her, 
and uses surprised hands to catch her when her legs 
regretfully cannot hold her 
and she sobs on the floor like a mother who outlived her son, 
exhausted as the day Billy was born.
Screw this war.


Details | Narrative | |

Today

it hurts again today
i wake up in pain
tears flow
pain grows
no one loves me
all alone
please hold my hand
let me love
let me be loved 
make the pain go away
soon 
so i can stop crying on the inside
and live again
laugh again
be whole again
it hurts again today
go away


Details | Narrative | |

Black Death

The ooze keeps flowing; bleeding, the earth cries,
"Someone help!! Stop the leaching; stop the black death!!"
Cover the wounds of greed, cover the sickness.
Help the innocent lives, being destroyed by this flow.
Pulsing, life of the USA, our heartbeat is weakening with each gallon lost.
Who will revive the country? Who is our super hero? Who has the courage?
Black gold has turned to our death.





**Thank God for our mothers, family and friends. 
God in heaven, hear my plea, give the engineers the knowledge to stop the oil flow 
into the Gulf and help the sea life to escape. Keep the people safe who work and live 
on the coast and restore the economy of the USA. Forgive us our sins, keep us safe, 
praise you for your blessings!! I pray in Jesus's name, Amen Thank you Jesus!!


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 2 of 2

After the quiet we all have to go
Dragged and carted by the Sonderkommando
To be dumped in pits covered by lime
A race to dispose by it's Human slime

Auschwitz, Buchenwald & Dachau slaughtered
Many a son, many a daughter
Experiments on children women and men
Some aged 90, many under 10

In 45, their end was near, how many alive would reappear
As Russians, British and US troops
Chased the Hun to their German roots
Each camp reached showed it's sordid past
Where millions of me, were massively gassed

In Auschwitz, to this present day
Birds don't fly, no animals play
The reminder is all for there to see
Those terrible days what happened to me

It's 1948, our Nation is born
From histories past, populations torn
To all who survived I wish you well
And our new born world, called Israel 


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmare

I'm working through the night
so I won't fall asleep
for every time I do,
into my dreams you seep
the one that broke my heart
the one that saw me feel
the only one I love
the one that was too real.
I'll concentrate on life
without it's summer days,
the winter in my heart,
beats sunburn on my face.
The cold wont reach my skin,
the sunny smile prevails,
it hides from all the world
my blackend, charred remains.
You'll never see me hurt,
I'm much too proud for pain,
I'd rather die inside,
Then let you know you've maimed.


Details | Free verse | |

Epiphany

Well it's sad to say, that this ugly duckling
never grew into anything more than an ugly duck


Details | I do not know? | |

Lock me up

Lock me up, hide me away
Shut the door till there is no more
Close my mouth so I can’t speak
Shut my eyes so I can’t see
Break my heart so I can’t feel 
Tie me up so I can’t leave
Hold me down so I can’t move
Stomp on me there’s nothing left
Drown me in fear and bitterness
My life is worth nothing now
I think I’m lost, might not ever be found
So just go away there is nothing here
You can be free 
I won’t make a sound
Live your life without me here
Go ahead it’s what you need
A life of control and flying free
Yeah it’s good for you so just forget about me



Details | Rhyme | |

Broken Things

Broken Things When I am you, I’m not myself And to you, all I have are broken things But this view Limits you In black and white, my eyes aren’t blue When I am me, you aren’t yourself And my broken things aren’t good enough But when you see My victory In spite, you still look down on me Nothing’s ever really broken Except the promises we make Unfulfilled intent Itemless event Running into emptiness


Details | Rhyme | |

All You'll Never Get Back

Walks down by the harbor.
That cafe where are table still waits.
Times spent alone  with you were golden.
So much more than just forgettable dates.

She knew what I could not understand.
Time is a gift.
A kiss of a raindrop is never ment to be kept in hand.

The steps of that  old church still look out onto 
the street.
Snow and time wash away the impressions.
Leaving only traces to every stranger I never truly meet.

Did it just disappear causing us to somehow lose track.
Does it seem pathetic.
To yern for all you'll never get back.

Couples see through me as easily as a ghost.
Maybe I should ramble.
But my soul will forever be attached to the coast.

Forgotten confessions are empty as to the city streets I tell.
How the young become old and bitter.
As reality shines through to show Im no longer under your spell.

For the night seems to gather the broken in a misfit pack.
Streetlights cast shadows that loom and hide.
As into a stranger I confide.
Dull has become the wit once sharp as a tack.
As I wonder do you ever reflect apon all you'll never get back.


Details | I do not know? | |

Be A Good Kid And Roll Me A Joint

When you are nine years old 
and sifting the seeds out 
of your parents pot for them, 
you can't really preach 
about the dangers of cigarettes
and second-hand smoke...
even though you know them.

You know better than to miss a seed
and let it ''pop'' while they are smoking it.
''What are you lazy or just too stupid? ''
''Is it really that hard to make sure 
all the seeds are out? ''

Once you've proven yourself with the sifting job, 
maybe they'll think enough of you 
to actually let you roll one.
If you're lucky.
Then you're a real ''big helper''.
Then they really like having you around.
Because they love you.

But, if you're stupid enough 
to roll a joint that isn't tight 
or comes apart while they're smoking it...
you'll be sorry.
Because then they'll tell all their friends 
just how stupid their worthless kid is.
''Stupid kid.
Can't even roll a good joint.
What good are you''? 

Just wait...you're almost ten.
Then they'll have you smoke one yourself.
''It'll make you much cooler.
Because you're such a dork.
You really need help''. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Another day at school

Another day of Torture Of Pain The looks of disgust What did I do to deserve this? What pain did I cause? For this pain to happen To me Walking through the hallways I hear the whispers I hear their laughs I hear all the words they say I know I’m not perfect Why can you just be happy with who I am? I am me I am who I am I’m sorry I’m not who you Want me to be So another day at school Were ill block you all out Pretending you don’t exist I pretend I don’t hear The Whispers The Laughs The Words And I’ll continue to be me No matter whom you want me to be


Details | Lyric | |

Never

There were times when I was scared
And it was only left for me to cry
I was left behind the walls of my life
And you watched me as I fallen to die

You were never there
You have never care
Because I am just a shadow in your eyes
And you are always pretended to be blind

Now, my world is turning again
All I could feel is nothing but pain
Hope this will be off my head soon
Although forgetting was in vain


Details | Rhyme | |

I disappear

I loose my self
in myself
and fear
often times
I disappear
not always so
as youth
as man
young the heart
i still could stand
outside gates
in every core
but weak
I hide now
close the door
peer out through
the looming night
see the man
who sits outside
empty of
his other part
hiding in
the lonely heart
I loose my self
and then I fear
you've lost a part
of me
in tears
one drop containing
each a piece
of what you thought
your love would be
I fail
I will, be lost sometimes
gone in fancies
of my crime
penance for
and from the slave
I am now, lost
in other days
I fear
too often
worry much
ten million thoughts
I can not clutch
like a fighter
seeing three
head shot punch
witch one is me
I loose myself
myself I fear
will loose you
when I disappear






 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Bottle And Me

the jukebox in the corner haunts this baroom like 
a ghost.
Lonley is the soul under the neon light that serves 
as the host.

Broken knuckles and shattred dreams.
We spend are time chasing empty lovers.
But it always comes back to the bottle
it does seem.

The blues are like a old friend.
To many shallow hearts.
But apon this smoke filled companion  I can 
depend.

The mirror just above the sink.
Reflects  the truth.
As the bottle helps me not to think.

I put it down a time are two.
Found it helped fill a void.
Answered  the question for which i had no 
clue.

Left many  a broken heart in the dust.
Was it a cowards lie.
A onenight stand a moments passion laced 
with lust.

Misspelled thoughts apon napkins in a room were it's not
so easy to see.
In a dark lit corner.  
Sits the bottle and me.

People gatherin to pass the time women askin
for a light.
Shadows hide the scars  from many a drunken 
fight.

The blues it knows us so very well.
Stories of legend.
Of which the poets do tell.

Busted knuckles and broken hearts.
Worn out lies and false starts.

The worn out veteran trying to forget.
The once young dreamer.
Who now lives to regret.

We are bound by chains no eye may see.
So is the case of the
 bottle and me.


Details | Free verse | |

Suicide Child

I can't remember if the sun was shining
Or if the clouds looked down on me as I stood 
A child of ten standing on a window sill 
Whispering to himself he should

It started shortly after I woke
Distant where the trigger was
I'm guessing just the overflow
of everything they did and said

Finally ground down by all around
And though I'd fought for years 
Death becomes a friend
When she's the only one there for you

Knowing I would soon be in the playground 
Where no nurse could make better the names they cruelled 
Knowing my mothers boyfriend was down stairs 
Waiting for his latest vile whim to unfold

My mind consumed by every name called
I was not the same they proved 
Alone in my crowded thoughts
T o death I looked for belonging

As I dressed my imagination dreamt
What could happen today? 
Exploding into the unknown 
My strength rapidly dissolved
I could see no directions 
that didn't lead to another painful day

As my journey to the end begun
All they told me loading the gun
All that made me different from
Pushing me closer and closer to the edge of no return

In front of the mirror I stood
Cut off my curly hair
No longer the golliwog
That their taunts would compare

I covered my skin in talcum powder
As I didn't want to be
That horrible thick coon
he always called me.

My hair a mess
My colour unmasked
Tired, Frightened, alone,
I decided enough, enough

Standing on the window sill
The last bastion for survival colliding inside 
As the exhausted wishes to hang on
Were overcome by the desperation to escape this hollow excuse for life

No single tear a cry for help
As id learnt they choose not to hear
I urge myself towards an end to the hurt
where the crying would clear

As I engulf my mind in my final moments
And call for death to take my hand 
From across the road a woman called 
To this day she probably doesn't know she saved my life

Tears unintentionally
Created rivers down talcum powdered cheeks
But my mother didn't laugh 
when she found me

I guess that's where you'd expect everything to be made right 
I guess that's where I learnt to no longer believe
Through every promising word in the wake of what could 
They didn't do what they should


Details | Bio | |

Broken Tree (2005)

A dysfunctional child lies in a heap of mud
If a parent couldn’t help do you think a stranger would?
Holes in her heart 
A family that torn apart
Not a bad girl just a poor outcome
Just bad labels like 'stupid' and 'dumb'
In this tree lies a damaged root
That’s why we see no flowers or fruit
Broken trees can’t grow wings
So this little girl resorted to other things


a true story about a girl and her family


Details | Rhyme | |

With Him goes a Rose

It was only a few days
On their barren soil
Through a doorway he went
So many lives now spoiled

An explosive device
Plastic in design
Could never be detected
Now a life resigns
 
The regimental medic
Rushes to his aid
To stem his internal bleeding
Through his eyes he fades

His lifeless soul lies lonely
As he is gently stretchered away
Where he will be flown back home
To where the angels play

In honoured ceremony
As he is carried to his carriage
On the tarmac awaits
His fiance, without marriage

In the chapel of rest
She stands in a tear laden pose
Her tribute to her lost one
With him goes a Rose

For tomorrow she will awake
A new day in her life
As she remembers her love
Who would have made her his wife




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-2.php


Details | I do not know? | |

~~Losing Me~~

The darkness of the pit
is swallowing you in.
I see you looking at me
with that evil, twisted grin.

You know just what you're doing.
You've done it all before.
It kills me when you look at me
while bleeding on the floor.

I've offered you my hand
time and time again.
I've tried to help you change your life.
I've tried to be your friend.

I'll watch you from a distance
but I'll never get too near.
You'd love to take me with you
but my strength you've learned to fear.

If I could help you truly
just to see what you could be.
I'd try ten thousand times again
but I won't risk losing me. 


Details | Narrative | |

Stolen Soul

Your sad and your ugly
Worth not even a life
No good as a mother
Make a terrible wife

I love you my friend
You are my world
Can we make love?
As my skin crawled

So we got into bed
And I closed my eyes
A few minutes of torture
A few silent cries

He turned on his side 
When we were done
He shut the lights
Thanks, that was fun

A few moments later
He was asleep
I took a shower
Felt dirty and cheap

Every so often
There was no fight
I enjoyed the neglect
Just one easy night

On our tenth anniversary 
He said lets go away
We'll celebrate us
And we'll find our way

With naive dreams
I agreed with all smiles
To go on this trip
Just us for miles!

We laughed on the way
A few hours a lifetime
It was quite lovely
Until it reached nighttime

When we arrived
I put on my dress
Your to skinny he said
You look like a mess

So I opened my bag
And I had no doubt
A couple of these
Are just my way out

My hands felt the tingle
My head was now clear
I said I'll change
Will you be happy my dear?

Didn't remember that night
Then the sun would appear
And just as suspected
What would I hear

Get a hold of yourself
Your full of sorrow
You make me sick
I might love you tomorrow

With another day left 
I knew it would be rough
I'll just take one more
Then throw away the stuff

We drank that night
Then I think we got high
I loved him so much
For him I would die

We made love and the slept
Then when we awoke
From the first word I said 
Was enough to provoke

His veins were alive
His blood was on fire
So angry at nothing
Was it this I'd desire

Guess I don't have to tell you
It never has changed
He did this enough
Where my mind was derranged

Then one day it happened
I rose from the dead
I felt something different
When I got out of  bed

It suddenly hit me
I remembered my name
Now this was scary
Overwhelmed with shame

Ten years of today
Put my soul on display
To pick and to poke at
For this boy to play

A lot of wear on my body
But not quite yet broke
Put my pieces together
For I am no joke

My daughters a beauty
My son almost a man
I'll do it for them
I know that I can!

You cannot do it
You can't provide
If it wasn't for me
You would have died

Thats what he said
When we walked out the door
For the first time ever
I was honestly sure

Hope my story ends happy
Now that I'm in control
The rest is all mine
Forget the ten years he stole


Details | Free verse | |

Dream Me In Black And White

Color me pretty
The way that you see me but not
The way I see myself

Wash me pure
The way you look at me
With eyes of unconditional love
You overlook my indiscretions
Judgment you never pass
Acceptance is all you offer
You make me a better me

Dream me in black and white
Like old time photographs
Faded
Torn edges
Jagged with time
To preserve the image that you hold of me

Paint me in red
The sweet blood that I left behind
Etching my name in the grain of eternity
So as to never be forgotten

Burn me into ashes
Let me dance on the winds of tomorrow
To feel the freedom
The release from my personal hell
As I soar across the sky of time


Details | Free verse | |

If I Were a Word

If I were a word,
I'd be on the point of Sharon's pen...
If I were a poem,
The young one would have penned me...
If I needed to show my heart,
I guess I would be me,
If I were to lay down wisdom,
I'd be John, Vince, Ruby, Christy, Maya
But, I wouldn't be me....
If I awoke in the middle of the night,
Wrapped in fear and uncertainty,....
I would be Tom Bell again,....
In desperate need of a friend...
If I have offended, I will volunteer
To cut off the offensive part...
If someone will remember me...
Somewhere down the road...
If I can create a smile,
or a wondrous thought,
I will have exceeded my aspirations
As a person, though never quite a farah chammah,
I will see the sun rise, I will see the sun sink...
I will pray for my fellow man,
Regardless of what others may think....
One life to live?
Nonsense, the Hindus got it right,
The cycle is repeated,
Until we see the light...

Yet the light is here at Soup,
It shines so bright that it could blind,
But blind most of us are,
We keep a closed up mind...

Lives end, lives begin...
They are virtually the same...
God kisses each of us,
And grants us a special name...

But time is oblivious to all this,
It has it's own agenda,
And we are powerless to influence it,
There are higher powers we'll never understand...
But the power of our words lives on...
That power will never end.


Details | Free verse | |

Stoned

Just a sniff or a whiff 
soothes the soul,
a kiss of the syringe
fills with peace and joy
so great alas! Temporary.

Oh! what many'd give
to soar on wings eagle's
and to the highest peaks climb
amidst tunes angelic.

But many a soul oft shatter
under its grip inexorable,
bound in chains and iron fetters
to a sniff, whiff and
oh! A kiss of the syringe.

They sit back and fantasize,
but the Peace they seek
is naught but an illusion,
a dream they chase and ne'er get
till they bid the world goodbye!


Details | I do not know? | |

A Prisoner's Tale

With everyday i wake
The darkness around me advances,
Swallowing me in its pool of misery
To never liven up again.

With every breath i take
I realise that i'm more alone,
Neglected and rejected for a weakness
That i am not to be blamed.

With every step i take,I feel like a puppet. 
Driven around by invisble strings,
That halts my freedom
To the length of string 
To whom it may concern.

With every tear i shed in pain
My wrath and agony aggravate.
Slashed and whipped through day and night
A sufferer i remain.

With every dawn that comes
My hopes of a future will prevail,
Though a prisoner I am and will remain
My hopes will forever lighten my path.


Details | Rhyme | |

Wars of Difference and Different Wars

Dream on man
War is constant
It has gone beyond
Catholic or Protestant

Religious wars
From our short lived past
Will never dilute
As long as we last

In this modern world
We fight for different reasons
What ever the excuse
And in any season

We fight over land
Imaginary WMD
Even over soccer
How the hell can that be

We now fight over oil
In a camouflaged war
Taking innocents with us
In public deplore

Guerrilla, assault
Bombing with precision 
We vote them in
As they twist their decisions

Dream on man
War has changed
Greed has taken over
From the pasts deranged




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-3.php


Details | I do not know? | |

You Never Say Sorry

You had hurt me thousands times
And I wait for those words to come
Wait till the sky turned dark
Wait till things became undone

You had never say sorry to me
Not even once in your life
You left me behind in the dark
While I gave you all my life

And now, I am torn into pieces again
You never save me from this pain
Sorry is the only word I want to hear
And one day, you will finally understand


Details | I do not know? | |

What is left to say...

Huddled, hands entwined as one,
the thoughts, the dread
felt like a terrifying storm,
its destruction powerfully felt.

As the tear flowed freely
and anxieties grew,
they clung tighter, closer;
though they already knew.

The room though non-sterile
reeked an aura of death,
for in this solemn room;
their worst fears were met.

As the doctor walked in
eyes stoic, stature tall,
he uttered the words;
your baby is gone.

She fought with the spirit
of one wise beyond her years,
you may be with your baby;
her sweet soul is now free.

Huddled, hands entwined as one,
they wept together, what was left to say.
The drunk driver who killed their baby
in this karmic world;

would pay; would pay.


Details | Free verse | |

The Jester

The Jester puts on her smile,
Plastered to her make-up smeared face.
Bright lights blind her empty eyes.
She can see no one in the crowd.

Inside her mind,
She screams for release.
Twisting the head off her doll,
Blood runs down her cheeks.

Her hands gripped tightly around the neck of the doll,
She pulls as hard as she can.
No one’s around for miles;
They left her to die.

Smiles and laughs surround her,
Taunting her every move.
They tease and mock her,
Pointing out flaws.

How her hair sticks out;
How her tooth has a chip in it.
Her eyes go dark as she wishes them death.
Under her breath she curses.
They will never lead happy lives.
They will know what it’s like being a puppet.

Just a toy in a closet,
Thrown around like nothing.
She wants to rip them all apart,
Limb by limb till there’s nothing left.

In her mind she makes up stories.
Stories where she’s no longer the jester,
No longer do they laugh at her.

With bloodshot eyes,
She cranes her neck to the sky.
Her screams echo through the stadium,
Reverberating off the walls, 
Bouncing back to her ears,
Killing everything in its path.

She falls to the ground in a puff of dirt.
When it clears,
The Jester is nowhere to be found.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Clown The Fool And Me

Many nights I've sat typing things for which none will ever read.
Burning midnight oil only to add to this mornings trash.
Then going about the act of pretending it's all good.

Wearing a mask of my own creation.
These long nights of endless confession to empty wall's.
Hollow thoughts from a bitter heart to scared to exist as himself.

The page lay beaten only to be erased.

the circus of life is a deception for after the show when the dust settles 
the magic gives way to truth.
Tempers flare  and thoose happy clowns appear to be just angry ordinary
people who hate and loath there so called friends.

Dream that it would have all been diffrent if not for this or that.
never taking blame just putting it on others like normal so called adults.

These long nights breed anger and that page takes  the punishment
and like a coward I look apon this act of pure thoughtless work.
And second guess myself wishing only for the approval of people who yearn only 
for the approval  of some one else.
Like hamster in a wheel never getting anywhere.

For who wants to be themself when you can be a watered down version of someone who 
wasnt good to start with.

I cant say the comforts of being a clone wouldnt be nice .
But I never did like things that were nice.
Never cared about being on a list  or kissing someone's rearend just 
to have them talk about me as soon as my back was turned.

Be yourself and cherish thoose who hate  for  the bitter and cruel amount to
nothing  and there only hope is to lure you down there same dead end life.

The clown tries in vain to make you laugh.
The fool doenst know or care if you laugh.
And me Im just the jerk adding to the mornings trash empty 
as the page that sit's befor him.


Details | Free verse | |

guaranteed money back...

Stuck.  Glued.  Skewed.
devoted to devotion
dedicated to dancing
on a string

threw away the safety net
to take the chance on
just
once
more

give me a reason
to be here


Details | Bio | |

Think Again

I am amazed
By what happens
these days
People long lost
Couldn't find
at any cost...
Seems I was not awake
This stupidity
I can not shake

They walk right by me
And I don't seem to see
Lost in thought
Lost in hurt
I must arise
From the dirt

There's Love to be had
There's wonders to see...
I just never thought....
This could happen to me.


Details | Bio | |

Trapped

Feeling trapped within these walls
as I stumble with each fall.
I try to hold my head up high
so no-one ever sees me cry
But in my mind I scream with fear
painting pictures very clear
Please tell me this will go away
for it can't always be this way
I often wonder if it's me
it seems that no-one else can see
pain which dwells deep in my soul
holding tight, not letting go
Yet, these scars which I wear
tell a story I now bare
Scars I know can never heal
reminding me this is real
Tomorrow is another day
and as I stumble on my way
these voices screaming in my head
are silent whispers now instead


Details | Ballad | |

Martyr for the Unorthodox word

If I had over 10,000 dreams You'd be the only thing my mind could see Judgment couldn't be real Succumbing to the fear of this cold life Find a way to break through The self-destruction of wordly delusions Don't tell me I've lived so long in a lovely illusion Break me down until we find a Nirvanic state Then bring me a savior from transgressions An atoning sacrifice Send down to me a messenger for me to submit to Bring me the truth to break through The delusion Bring me the messenger to explain it all And let me leave behind Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word


Details | Rhyme | |

Muddy Water Dancing


She pulls the puppets strings; and as he’s jerking all about;
She throws her voice to make him talk, with his face held in a pout.
He forgets that he’s a puppet; while out there on the stage;
The audience is pleased with him; he’s the up and coming rage.

The puppet sings a love song; with the strings he’s made to dance;
He’s made to speak the saddest words; about his lost romance.
Everybody sighs and giggles; but quietly under breath
They know this is a tragedy; they’re waiting for what’s left.

The puppet thinks he’s living; but the puppeteer don’t care;
She controls what’s going on and in this play there is no fair.
Dancing for the devil; he calls this little act;
Existing in a make believe; there’s nothing more than that.

Every night at bed time; the woman gives a smile;
She pokes him with a fingernail recently just filed.
And with a monotone that’s frigid; she says it’s time to hit the sack;
So she opens up her luggage bag; and then she puts him back.


Details | Rhyme | |

Edmond's Alternate Ending

Edmond’s Alternate Ending I am about to move Though I’ve yet to move on… …now that I’ve moved on Or was it moved back I found all the lack In my alleged desires A mind of loss conspires For redemption, or revenge My vengeance consumed me Began to eat me whole Til I realized I was the one chewing And the graves that I was digging Were nothing more than holes So I stopped biting And recovered the Earth Won’t belittle myself by fighting Or lower my self worth Stooping to do battle with the trolls I’ll just let them dig their own holes


Details | Bio | |

Explanation Long Overdue

I know it matters little, 
At this time, I am sure,
But I've always felt,
I owed you,
A reason why,
We did not endure...

As I approach,
The final destination,
I've unfinished chores,
I must amend,
And I guess
It's up to each
Of us to tend...

It may sound insane,
In fact, I think it is...
I was feeling too much in love,
Something had to give...
All I'm sure of,
Is this, I do swear...
It was never a question...
Of if I did care...
All I'm sure of, that is,
Whoever followed me,
The luck was his...

I felt I was losing control,
Felt jealous and insecure,
Withdrew into a defensive caccoon,
But there's even more...

I knew I blew my chance
With the most beautiful girl 
I ever had,
One who shared my love,
And to this day I'm sad...

I did what I'm good at,
I ran away and hid,
My life was forever changed,
The dumbest thing I ever did...

I know it sounds insane,
And I'm sure that this is true,
But one thing I can swear,
I never ever,
Stopped loving you.


Details | Couplet | |

Marriage Bed

I am fearful and full of dread,
As I lay here on our marriage bed,

We have had yet another fight, 
And as yet it is our end of night.

He says he wants to show me he only cares,
But it is not love I feel as I lay there.

I say "No I am to sore and in pain."
He moves forward anyways as my tears fall down like rain.

I beg and plead and say "Please no more"
But that is not what for me he has in store.

I give up as my claims fall on deaf ears,
I just lay there in my  pool of tears.

I know he knows what he is doing,
That this is not my choosing.

What once was an expression and an act of our love making,
Has now become something that he thinks is his right in just taking.

The days that I used to crave and hunger for his touch,
Have now turned to an act I must endure as such.

Even though he knows this is wrong and our fight has really has no end,
He believes that in this and this alone our love will transcend.

As he is holding me there on that bed,
Another world is where I go in my head.

He is my husband and I am his wife,
I can't believe this has become our life!

I lay there numb of spirit and mind,
Waiting and waiting for the end of time.

I think of all the ways that I can make him pay,
But in the end as usual I stay!!!

This is not the life I bargained for,
There in this life has to be more.

Why with this one man is it hard for me to walk away?
With any other man I would not stay!

Now the time has come that I can take no more,
Though the time has not come to settle the score.

He begs and pleads for me to stay,
He can't bare for our love to go away!

I still love him and I know that is sick,
But we cannot help who our hearts pick!

I can however leave him alone,
I  won't write nor will I phone.

His days of cruel treatment and torture so vile,
Are long over, there will be no trial!

I have become judge, jury and executioner in this relationship!
You can bet there will no second trips!

Time to move on and to heal,
I cannot and will not give him an appeal.

A new life is what I am forever bound,
A new love is what I found.

He does not get all of me,
For now he is fine to let me be.

Will I ever be able to love again with all my heart?
Who knows, but now is the time to start.


Details | Sonnet | |

Aphrodite Night

    APHRODITE NIGHT
Remembering that night of our last touch,
when nothing was between us we should know,
in love with loving you, and just how much
I wonder where in time do such nights go?

Forbidden like a box that's sealed up tight,
or like the flame that Zeus refused to share
with mortals such as we, and on this night,
Pandora's box was opened everywhere,

you were, that night, my first and only love
and always shall remain that part of me,
created from the earth and waters of
a night that Aphrodite made to be.

       And I am more than blessed for loving you
          forever and all time, as I shall do.
                   © RON WILSON aka vee bdosa


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate...

The collision of my feelings,
And the confrontation of words,
The lies,
All the lies…
Hatred, hate, all the hate,
I hate…

Drown in my pain,
Until you suffocate,
And free yourself from me,
To free me,
I hate…

A million words burn in me,
A thousand screams call for freedom,
For salvation,
But my soul is abandoned
In the void,
I hate…

Let me fade away,
Let me turn into black,
Let me dissolve into nothing,
To free me from myself,
I hate…

Fear,
Free my fearful heart,
And take me away,
Anyone…
Let these words stop:
“I hate.”

Break the chain of eternity,
Kill the immortality of my torment,
Let my blood flow in my veins,
And let the air circulate
In and out of my body,
I hate…

I hate…
You…and you,
I hate life,
I hate me,
I hate…
Everything,
Hate, hate, hate,

“Hate , hate , hate”
I woke up saying,
With the letters,
“H” “A” “T” “E”
Sliding between my lips,

I cried loudly,
For I felt it,
I felt the hate,
Conceal all my feelings;
I felt it make me grab a knife…
I stabbed myself!
I stabbed my heart…it made me stab myself…
Just to free itself from me,
And to free me,
Forever…  


 



Details | Free verse | |

PLUNGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEEP, YOU FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello loneliness it's me, I called but no answer, makes me think your avoiding me
I saw your friend regret the other day and she said you were doing awful, She said you 
had gotten down and out because many people, have forgotten how good you can make them feel
They have forgotten, just how bitter-sweet your presence delegates them
Hey! Loneliness? what time is it in denial? I just thought I would tell you, I haven't
forgotten
I will always remember cold and hot days when a wall to a closet I was hiding, was a gift
from you
Oh! and don't think I forgot how you stayed with me and talked me through the slices on my arm
I couldn't have carried that out without you, You made me see that nobody will be around
like you,
I cut so deep that for a second I was wishing to see the color blood bones makes, sounds
sick?...
Just like me, I'm unhealthy in fits of rage but oh! I know that's just you morphing into
insanity
Do you remember also, when I called out names of those who said they cared?
Me neither never met them before but if you see them, tell em' I cry by blood and mark by
knife
I shoot like bullets, I hurt like broken, But don't you see? This is the price I pay for
loving you...
Loneliness!


Details | Quatrain | |

Dad

I'm sure you think I'm crying.
You think it hurts so bad.
The only thing that truly hurt,
was when I lost my dad.

He really wanted me to know
the way life was meant to be.
He always tried to help me out.
He truly cared for me.

I pray one day I'll see him
laughing once again.
He was so much more than people knew.
He was part of a bigger plan.

Now he's gone to heaven
and I hope he's looking down.
I need him still to guide me
when I laugh and when I frown.


Details | I do not know? | |

Eyes of Fire and Heart of Stone

I see pain in their eyes.
I hear sorrow in their cries.
Inside I break and cry alone,
with my eyes of fire and heart of stone.

No matter how much pain I feel
I am sure that I will always deal
the way I know..alone
with my eyes of fire and heart of stone.

Others may not know the fear.
They know just what they see or hear.
I come off cruel and cold.
Inside I'm not...I'm just not bold.

I have to thank my mother
for the love she's never shown
The one thing that she did give me...
her eyes of fire and heart of stone.


Details | Free verse | |

The Pessimist Speaks Out

They say life is short;
I say it's not short enough...
And the rainbow after the storm
is just another fairy tale.
Sure, when one door closes
another door opens...
But who's to say what's on the other side
will turn out to be good?
Those attached 
lust after the freedom of not being
and the supposed lucky singles
desperately seek to be attached.
Everything we don't have,
we MUST have;
And all that we have,
we don't need...
(until it's gone, of course)
How ideal if all things were perfect...
No problems, no worries, just joy...
But then you'd call it boring
The optimist looks down at me with pity
But at the end of the day
When the world fails you
Who's the one that's disappointed?


Details | Couplet | |

I Stand Alone

What you see is a hollow shell,
Inside I stand alone in my private hell.

My pain is something I try to hide,
It is kept locked deep inside.

No one to talk to about my morbid thought,
Nor anyone to care nor anyone that can be sought.

On my face you will see a smile,
But inside I have been hurting all the while.

I have sisters who I love dearly,
But lines between us have been drawn clearly.

I have friends, a very a select few,
But they have their own problems they are going through.

I hate to be an obligation.
What I would give not to have that sensation.

I want to be asked about in genuine concern,
Not because you see me as problem to discern.

I know these issues are mine and mine alone,
However it would be nice for someone to just phone.

To ask how I am really feeling,
And not take the crap that I have  been speeling!

I want someone just once to say
That they thought of me today.

That they want to know what way went by,
That caused me to lose the twinkle in my eye.

I ask about everyone because I truly care, 
But feel like I am not really all there.

Is it too much to ask
For someone to forget about the past?

I know that most of this is my own making,
But it is still real, there is no faking.

One day I hope to have that sparkle back.
But 'til then I remain still at the end of the pack.

Still a hollow shell,
Still alone in my own private hell.


Details | Free verse | |

a desolating future

were it was hollowed within
the crumpled tissue paper
thrown onto the filth
drowned on truth


Details | Rhyme | |

Somebody To Love

I have no roof to shelter under
When the sky begins to rain
For an umbrella through the thunder
I will always hope in vain.


Details | I do not know? | |

Will Work For Food

I told my kids we'd see it, this movie, they couldn't wait.
We finally saved the money so we started on our 'date'.

They were so very happy to be on there way to see
this show that they'd been saving for even more than me.

Standing by the corner, he came into our view.
He looked so very helpless that I knew what we should do.

I tried to just look past him, to keep my spirits bright.
But, then I looked in the rearview mirror and knew what would be right.

The kids were looking also, they got quiet and so still.
My son's eyes looked so heavy as they simply began to fill.

He said 'Who needs a movie? There's good stuff on t.v.'
That's when I knew my kids would feel the pain of other's just like me.

As we gave this man the money, he looked me in the eye.
He blessed us all and watched us leave without saying goodbye.

His blessing was well worth it, I felt it in my soul.
I saw my kids' compassion shine and I've never felt so whole. 


Details | Free verse | |

The Arms of a Stranger

The odor of warmth and affection,
The feeling of love and protection,
An isolated heaven of love;
I lay in his arms like an angel,
Like a white dove,

At the moment,
I am living an endless time
Of eternal happiness,
Life seems to be everlasting…
Life now, is a colored painting 
Of smiles and joy,

Words slithered between his lips,
Like tiny insects sliding on the petals
Of a bright-colored flower,
I contemplated his beauty as 
I heard his tender voice whisper,
“Thy beauty is like the azure sky.”

Perfection is what I am seeing,
His words kept on repeating
In my head;
In his arms I lived another life…
A nirvana created by his glaring eyes,

“Thy beauty is a mosaic picture on the walls of heaven,”
His words swayed like the dancing waves…
I lay there inertly,
With a river of feelings penetrating 
My soul like an addictive kiss of his,
I smiled…   

--------------------------------
My feelings suddenly shifted,
I felt tiny droplets of water condense
On my cheeks,
Were they tears?

My anguish was immense…
Sadness and grief formed
A body of confusion that mystified 
The fantasizing feelings I had felt,

Here I was,
In your arms;
My ally, the person I shared my life with…
You held me tightly trying to ease
The pain I was feeling,
The pain created by you…

The tears in my eyes created a reflection of
My sufferings,
The sufferings that tend to draw a continuous
Picture of your betraying eyes…
I cried and cried as I felt your arms
Hold me tighter,
I felt no comfort at all…

I closed my eyes trying to place myself
In “his” arms again,
The arms of the stranger 
That allayed my soul like tender music,
Like a harmony created by the soft,
Emerald leaves that danced with the wind…

I smiled again…






 
  


















Details | Lanterne | |

TURMOIL

My
heart breaks
within me-
deep inside I
weep-
peace
is so
elusive
my mind cannot
sleep-
is
love so
unreal,
is it out of
reach-
who
will be
true to me
and their promise
keep-
if
I say
a prayer,
will faith take a
leap-
do
you have
an answer,
to life...fathoms'
deep.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Real Me

When I look into the mirror, what do I see?
I see a person that isn't me,
The person I see looks content,happy and free
But inside the person is tied down with chains,
Her heart is heavy and she carries the weight,
Lonely days,they come and go, they pass by so slow,
I see people,happy people and I want to be them,
But inside, you'll never know,
My true feelings never show,
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way,
Depressing days, pain, anger, fear, no-one is ever here,
If I could erase the clouds from my sky,
And bring sunny days, but it's not that easy,
People look through me, I feel transparent,
When will I let the cover fade away?
My make up and clothes make me feel pretty,
But inside I know I'm not,
The mask that hides these tears will, one day, be pulled away,
What will I do when I see the real me?


Details | I do not know? | |

Whore

Comforting self destruction
Ice thawed by blood
Soul torn apart
Heart trampled in the mud
Innocent little life 
Trying to find its way
Child with no father
Cries the day away
Love without reason
Life without hope
See the blooming soul inside
Smell the burning dope
Pain that's been felt
Many times before
All because of one
Skanky little whore


Details | ABC | |

Time and Immortal

As I sit here,
time flys by.
I look above,
toward the sky.
And then the lightning strikes
And the dreadful angels cry.

On this night,
my valentine,
we will die,
slowly in each others arms.

And the wounds will heal
and the tears that will fall
will be nothing at all.

And then we will lay under
the ground, lovers in the
darkness until death do us part.

Then my lovely valentine
we will be forever immortal.


Details | Free verse | |

OneThink

Death’s temporal non-living souls
steeped in ignorance inescapable,
marching lockstep brainwashed
in a wondrous stupefying age 
of the light bearer’s angst,
 
Cultivating choiceless awareness 
within mindless sentient spirits,
a new world order confounded, 
trampled under foot entranced 
in pursuit of thoughtlessness, 

Life’s oft-quoted recurrent tenet
of schizophrenic nescient beings,
induced by a rhapsodic paradigm,
partakers of Nirvana’s dire elixir 
of a malefic zeitgeist set free,

Humankind’s wretched odyssey
an incorporeal hysterical zeitgeist,
of pre-millennial enlightenment, 
decayed yet knowingly unlearned
in an post-apocalyptic world,

Man’s common present ubiquitous
reality check believed not to exist
an untruth born of ancient dormant
Aeolian intelligentsia on a journey
into forgotten forsaken places

Hell’s prophetical pre-existing toll
quibbling over doctrinal minutiae
a religilous Babylonian mystery
of exhumed re-animated flesh 
e’er cremated in Gehenna fire

Victims of one demonic otherkin’s
ubiquitous subliminal deception 
a masterful universal ‘Onethink’
culminating at Mount Meggiddo
destiny’s lifeless final chapter

© Eugene Harvey


Details | Free verse | |

The Angels Cry

Dark the shadow, moving among us as a thief,
Deftly slipping its thin, spiny fingers 
Deep into those hearts not yet strong
Tugging almost effortlessly at the soul within
That knows not, the light, the bright salvation.

For only a small step towards the shining star
Would summon the angels to battle,
Fierce, cunning, strong, they fly to their call.
But, alas, though a small step,  a deep, endless chasm
For one so lost, so tortured...so alone.

The others watch yet do nothing to stop
The growing vastness of nothing, 
Suckling all life, all hope from where it feeds
So simply, with hardly a protest or fight, not even a whimper;
Only abandon and sadness, regret and loss.

Yet in the distance a soft and gentle song trumpets in the wind,
Calling back the lost and weary souls forgotten,
Calling them all back, aching for their pains and sorrows,
Offering a choice if only they would hear.
Closer and brighter, chasing shadow back into the night.

The endless battle surely bringing victory to one
Yet, we watch and do nothing, and the angels cry out
Their frustrations and despair, and with prayers that man will take
That step of faith, opening their hearts as all who hunger for the light,
May find salvation and end the nothingness that grows.



Details | Couplet | |

Android

I can’t remember everything, I can’t recall my birth
Aimlessly I wonder what my goal is here on earth
The prospects here are wide and vast, I seek my very cause
I’m switched on at the crack of dawn and dusk is when I pause
Deflated and depleted, I ponder then I do
Believe what I was programmed to, replaced by versions new
Existing just for mere research, experiment I am
My life “To let”, “for sale”, “for rent”; in shambles or a sham
Emotions first uploaded or rebooted and erased
Remote controlled with batteries recharged at every phase
Mirrored in an image, then observed through looking glass
My Father and Creator notes down everything that’s passed
Today I conquered obstacles according to the plan
One virus might turn bad to worst within outdated brand
If circuits fry a terminating prospect is abrupt
A live or die for me could mean abort or self-destruct
When all the data’s gathered and my purpose here is lost
The switch will flip, I’ll power down, repaired at extra cost
Core of bone covered with flesh, diverting all suspicion
That I was cloned and molded to a Master’s rendition


Details | Lyric | |

Master of Strings

This puppet self-conflicted
Surreal to the end
I’m painting my own master
From the pain that I depend

This master so forgiving
Never one to speak
I am frightened of his laughter
And I depend because I’m weak

These strings eternal rapture
My strings are every pain
Unseen but granting vision
Yet never letting me relate

This puppet unbecoming
Whenever I have come undone
Unseen yet still regretting
That I have never had such fun

Master please implore me
Teach me how to stand
So I can divide this mirror
Between myself and why I’m damned

And all that’s left is silence
Between this mirror land
Where puppets are their masters
To deny the strings within their hands

Suddenly strings reach out
Right across this pain
Entangled within others
As the master starts his game


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Me

If I never do anything in this life
Just let me be.


Details | Free verse | |

Anxiety

anxiety showing through;
bated breath and tired sighs
all the same
today and tomorrow...
just crude forgeries of yesterday
nothing changes
every exhalation breathing out
another piece of our monotony ridden souls

pressure
strife
choking me, constricting my lungs
as if even the air is now my enemy
blowing and pushing me in directions
that I'd sworn never to take

anxiety showing through


Details | I do not know? | |

He does not love me anymore

he does not love me anymore, oh
heart you give me away
the expression of a broken heart
is permenantly fixed
across this face
my eyes
tell stories of the brokenhearted
for thousands of years
I mourn what could of been

he does not love me anymore,
it is such a shame
for my heart gives love away too freely
like a common whore


he does not love me anymore
oh heart, you must decist.
for the deep trench of pain and confusion seems to
fall for an eternity.
Its boundaries unknown to man
I do not wish to explore this pain
for 
I may never return
again

he does not love me anymore
the person I once was is no more.
He does not love me anymore, 
heart, you will make it through.
the shards of it
will
be picked away
gently by time's gentle embrace
for every moment there is it's place

he does not love me anymore.
and that is ok.


Details | I do not know? | |

With The Kids

Another boring lost night.
Sipping on warm beers outside the local store.
Trying to stay outta the cops sight.

Cars gather stereos blasting in the 
parking lot.
Local kids gather telling stories 
and smoking pot.

Susan and Billy just got back 
togather.
Jacks drunk again.
Lookin for a fight with a mind of a child 
and skin of leather.

The town tramp and the football team.
There studs  and she's a slut.
Its a flaw in society it does seem.

broken bottles and the butt of a
cigarette.
We were all there sometime.
First loves are the hardest to forget.

Drinking beers outta plastic red cups talkin 
bout gettin out of this place.
Best friends always forget to touch base.

Looking for something togather in the backseat.
Voices fill the air.
In parking lots across the country kids meet.

Allison wants to be perfect so she starves herself 
for days.
Cindy cant stand this life.
So with a razor she plays.

Tommy tries to ignor what others say.
Idiot's mix well with ignorance.
He just got beaten half to death for being 
gay.

His lifes so perfect yet he overdoses
Farewell to the pain he bid's 
Makes you question.
What besides angst  is with the 
kids


Details | I do not know? | |

hand in hand

For you and I to overcome all this,
A neverending uncontolable miserable abiss.
Endless,darkened,no light yet to be seen
We will be victorious in our endeavours,
and get all we dream.

Deserve, we do and suffer as well
Not to be outwitted,
our friendship won't fail
Forever we will be priceless
as our friendship is endless

And in short time all the anguish
will never be the same
Together through life we will remain


Details | I do not know? | |

Loverly Liar

Baby Girl
Is what they call me
I am sweet
I am a child at heart
My nickname means nothing
On the inside
I am in the dark
Yes I am this girl
But baby girl means
Sweet
Innocent
I am a
Lovely liar
I am not
BABYGIRL


Details | Lyric | |

Honoring Sacrifice

For country, they chose to honor a call,
Now the piercing sound of a rifle's report.
An echoing trumpet, sadly says it all.
Let us hero our young as a last resort.

No image portrays our freedom's cost,
Like that of a flag draped casket.
A mental souvenir of war, un-tossed,
On display from memory's basket.

It serves to remind of a hero's place,
Should we treat it as a mere statistic.
For each had a home, name and face,
Harboring dreams that were realistic.

They abnegated those dreams for a chore,
Accepting that vitality might be tried.
Death isn't made a contrivance of war,
But a mental souvenir from those who died.


Details | Couplet | |

Literary Viagra

Simply ran out of reason and rhyme,
not even words worth a dime.
  
Got nothing to say, the mind is empty,
damn muses have deserted me.

Cracked my brain searching for ideas,
found nothing there but paranoia.

Lost confidence to shape and create,
completely busted and feeling beat.

Unable to throw even a few punches,
barely surviving now on crutches.

Cannot count on them muses no more,
might as well run to the nearest whore

for some extra push and inspiration
to awaken this dormant imagination.

My world-class confidence is all gone,
I’m out of here, I’m completely done.

Literary Viagra I badly need to quench
this temporary artistic impotence!


Details | Rhyme | |

Telling A Story

Girl you treat me bad and dont give it a second thought.
Run around on me with every other man.
look so fine with new clothes for you I bought.

You just say there friends larry Frank  Corey.
You say  it's all in my head.
But I know your telling me a story.

He's got money  he's gotta fancy car.
But when thoose looks fade darlin.
Thoose boy's wont even remember who you are.

I guess im a fool some call me your clown.
Cause every other night I'm sharing you with every man in this 
town.

I crumble at the tales of others backseat glory.
You just  say it's lies .
But your just telling a story.

Down at the bar where I drown my pain
Others laugh behind my back.
Say that old boy has gone insane.

The fool to weak to see the forrest for the trees.
A broken heart tired from always wondering .
A voice  gone hoarse from always begging please.

You played to long with a man named Rick.
But forgot about his wife lorrie.
She shot ya both.
And put the final chapter to your  tellin of a jaded story.


Details | Free verse | |

Them

I walk with them
I experience life but they only dismiss it
I change my ways and they don’t notice 
I fall and they walk on by
I talk and they ignore
I cry and they turn there backs
I hope and they destroy
I laugh and they make me angry
I do well but they have to do better
I feel myself falling and they only notice themselves
I want to scream but they silence me
I want to prove myself but they won’t let me
I want to do rise above but they chain me down
I put on a pretty smile and no one is the wiser
I have them fooled and they don’t even know


Details | Rhyme | |

At Night Alone

  So here I sit, at night, alone
  Bored and just too many cigarettes to burn
  So I smoke and I wait, seemingly for a call
  And really just ache, cause it's not coming at all
  You're too many miles away from home
  I feel the distance at night, alone
  I hate you for the restless nights
  And I hate me because I know it's not right
  To sit in front of the computer screen
  Searching for the words I just want to scream
  Not even knowing the pain that I feel
  How to describe what feels so unreal
  I miss, just miss, everything that is you
  Laughing for hours at things that you do
  And how could it be that this is the end
  What was to be a lifetime of new things to begin
  But here I sit, at night alone
  And the numbness inside is all that I know


Details | Rhyme | |

Forbidden

Untouchable, yet close enough to touch.
It's wrong, I know but I want you so much.
You are the compliment to who I am supposed to be.
You are the one who can set my tortured soul free.
To help me to thrive and to inspire me.
It brings tears to my eyes to think of the impossibility.
There are too many obstacles in our way, 
Too many people to hurt, too big a price to pay.
So with a friendship I must be satisfied,
And bury these feelings deep down inside.
It's just that from you it will be too hard to hide,
When I spend so much of the day at your side.
I think that I am going out of my mind.


Details | Blank verse | |

A Dark January

I

Boastfully, I regret no deeds,
my sins are minor, lame, and weak.
These children, though born dead, are strong,
like a necromancer, I make them dance.

Machineries, and wretched whores,
all linger midst my core's hollow depths.
So violent, I reproach their names,
like demons, they return the favour.

Silence now, no not a sound,
save for my gears, grinding gold.
A littany, these vicious lines,
meant to be enjoyed in Death.

So let me sleep, wake me not,
the Grave is my truest home.
Quietly, I shall decay,
and I will become my art.

II

Burn this body, this sinful cage,
bound to Earth's pleading ways.
My soul is chained within,
the keys just out of reach.

Pleasantries, I crave emotion,
intoxicated, I find them here.
Cells may rot, the better then,
so that the soul may roam.

Spread the ashes near and far,
somewhere left unseen.
Not valiant, not brave,
I am the Coward's King.

So still my heart of violence,
let the impurities flow.
Diminish all your foolish laws,
this soul belongs to me.


Details | Free verse | |

you, man

there are veins on the sides of your face
they reach for your eyes
aimed to kill

there are veins on your hands
all together they jump

and again they together jump

if the sun dont burn or if it do, build
first:  rip apart that old thing
make them all the parts remember the beginning of their time

make them grow together to forget
make them grow
you,
man covered in veins

you, man with the steady hands
that wiped up my sticky spilled mess 
(vodka, the unfair things you wont let me say, the songs i make from them, and throw up)
wiped them up good

and other parts of the day,
you don't fall

i wonder if you ever give in just sometimes
just a small glimmer of a bit
to pretend that you are covered, veins and all
in tiny green leaves

i am forever indulging in the vision


Details | Free verse | |

princess of suburbia.

cupcake.
dollface.
blue eyed beauty.
cookie cutter girl,
princess of suburbia.
she's sick,
because she likes it.
blood confetti on her notebooks,
the twinkle in her eye.
staining words on twisted minds.
her followers.
they want to taste the berries on her lips,
feeling the metallic taste in her mouth.
they love the broken things,
mangled shoelaces,
hearts torn apart.
they look up to her.
she used to play with barbie dolls.
turning them into baby prostitutes,
coke heads,
models who rose above.
she used to sing to herself in the basement,
or where ever there was running water.
math makes her brain itch.
wal-mart makes her claustraphobic.
so lets break out,
she thinks,
slipping valium into her teddy bears head.
no need to hide from the monsters of her mind.
theyve already gotten to her.


Details | Free verse | |

Past Reflections Of Now.

The young boy happy and contented in life
Sheltered from the real evils of man
Lost in his room with the treasures of adventure
Unbridled dreams tapestry serene summer days
Purity of youth’s innocence in soft blue eyes
This happy child lost in pages upon his bed
Never paying life a second thought
The realization that someday he would pass on
Oh, to be invincible again if only for a moment…
Years flitter by on the winds as they always have
Struggle reared up its eyes all to often
The imagination boy of unsullied venture
Began the transforming journey into the world
The crisp blue eyes of photographed youth
Now a hard gray reflecting scars of strife
The insatiable ardor for living in the moment
Becomes the bittersweet flavor of years gone by
Under the flushing candle his sword now a pen
He writes of looking in the mirror of whetted eyes
Wishing what he believed then, he could grasp now.
Oh, to be invincible again if only for a moment…


Details | Lyric | |

I Still Remember

I scratch my head and too often wonder
And while gazing hinder I see disarray.
I recall those times of my err and blunder
times void of Jesus to brighten my day.

As I posed the question did any care?
The obvious answer I was unable to see.
Until life became more than I could bear
I found Jesus was patiently waiting on me.

I realized that countless agonized for me
Through prayer straight to God's throne.
But from blinded eyes I'd refused to see
Attempting to do things on my very own.

But during a crisis I became spirit broken
For my body was now stricken with cancer.
I surrendered life entire, not just a token
I accepted Jesus Christ as the living answer.














Details | Acrostic | |

Curry Favor

C larifying your hidden lies,   I see
U nderneath your opaque disguise…  I
R ead your eyes,   I 
R ead your eyes…
Y ielding despise,  it’s only I…
F rustrated with echoing laments and cries,  just to
A nswer your fake words and smiles…  I
V enture my life,   I venture my emotional life
O nly to end it all… until it’s demise…
R eading your eyes… I can always read your betraying eyes.


Details | Bio | |

Sometimes

Sometimes when I see
A happy family
It quickly gets to me
The sadness that must be
In this lonely life of just me

For whatever sins I may have done,
I never meant to hurt anyone
And whatever luster I had in life,
Burned away with a cheating wife.

I realize part was my fault
I did not provide something I ought,
But the pain was slow to fade,
In the misery that she made

Now hope has come again to me
In a beauty all can see
Shining from the inside out
Makes me want to shout

And, I know that I am blessed.
And in happiness I am dressed.


Details | Rhyme | |

Tomorrow Has Come And Gone

Years have passed since i dreamt that night
Noises in my head, waking up to that sight
Overnight my city in desperate plight
 
Tragedies followed as the population began to fade
The strong wallowed, as the weak frayed
Mankind shown to be true, as their actions displayed
 
I found i was not alone, as others had escaped the curse
Their actions that i witnessed, man doing his worst
Abusing, taking advantage in their normal daily thirst
 
The ones who lost their eyes, never seen their end come
Even the deafened ones, never heard the sound of a gun
The muted ones just gaped, as they all tried to run
 
The fortunate ones had prayed, on the inflicted souls in strife
Targeting the weak, playing with their lives
The killings and the maiming in typical murderous rife
 
Eventually the fortunate, wanted more and more
They fought amongst themselves just like they did before
Everyday i look all around me, forever will i abhor
 
I walk our cities and towns, thinking what they used to be
The hustle and bustle of life, in the world of you and me
One day i will go to sleep, when i awake what will i see



The follow up too " It Will Happen Tomorrow "



http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/fantasy-6.php


Details | Free verse | |

Beyond the Distant Horizon

The open sea
Seems endless
In every direction for me

The last accompanying sail
Gone over the edge,
The tip of the mast
A sight I found a comfort
Is now a thing of the past

All alone on a world
With no end
Sailing alone
With a heart to mend

No ocean liner
Or luxury yacht for me
A simple boat
On this useless sea

If I make
Some distant shore
To sail once again
A desire I will have no more


Details | I do not know? | |

Scream and Shout

I wish this battle would end today
I’m so tired and really must say
That if you continue
To stress me out
I’m afraid there’s more I can do
Than simply just shout
You say I drive you crazy
And you don’t know why
That I must scream, yell and cry
Well just once
You should hear me out
Then maybe I wouldn’t
Feel the need to shout out
But you must understand
There is a reason to you whys
Why you make ME crazy
And why I easily cry
And I’m not saying
I’m right and you’re wrong
I’m simply saying
It’s getting hard to go on
With this life I made with you
Our home, our marriage
And our children too
I love you all without doubt
But I can’t stand
How you make me shout
And I do not like the way you are
When you say that’s it 
And that it is YOU who are tired
For I have put in
One hundred and ten percent
And you may say you love me
But I can’t see that yet
I thought I did when we first met
But that one I haven’t
Figured out just yet
But I know this without a doubt
That the that you make me shout
Just isn’t right
And is driving me insane
As well as it is you
I can see your views
But the problem here
Is easy to see
It is a little bit you
And a little bit me
And together with family
Disaster makes three
That is my view
At this present time
Concluded from the vibes
That I get from you
And if you don’t get
What I’ve been trying to say
Then I hope and I pray
You figure it out one day
For I’m tired of explaining
Myself to you
When all that you do
Is form your own views
I’m sick of the way
I scream and I shout
When you twist things around
And put words in my mouth!!

8/14/2005 3:47 AM


Details | Free verse | |

Crawl into Me

Scattering into broken pieces
Of debris,
My life has become a black painting
Of nothingness,

Within myself I see,
 You concealing me,
I feel droplets of misery
Crawling into me, to simply become…
Me… 

I wonder if my tears
Could water the eternal desiccation,
That fills my life with hopelessness…
When will “I” reappear?

Nothing but this undying pain
Remains,
The memories I thought would 
Never die…
Have killed the happiness…
And have gone away,

Like eternity,
My sorrowfulness is my days,
Is my dreams, is my prevailing thoughts, is
 Everything that creates my life…
It’s me…

Rage flows in my veins,
Like boiling blood;
I’ve become an explosion
Of resentment…
Like a volcano of red, burning hatred,

All these particles of my sorrow,
Crawl into me,
Triggering a reflection
Of the person I don’t want to be…
The Me in me…

Crawl into me…
The person I was,
The person that you were…
The person I want you and me to be…

“Farah,”
The calling of my name revived me
From talking to my shadow,
“Farah, go to sleep...You have school tomorrow!” 
My mom yelled…

Before switching off the lights,
I glanced at my shadow again
With tears in my eyes,
And quietly muttered,

“Crawl into me...”
 


 


 






Details | Rhyme | |

Run and Live

Tender torrent, week long moment
while the skies fill dark and crimson
Back lit lightning, lovely, frightening
while my heart trips over itself
Call the whisper, brother, sister
sweep the sky with your liquid eyes
Tin the rooftops, as the heart stops
waiting for thunder to stomp the air
Birds stop singing, ears are ringing
as the clomping rain pools up
Trees kiss soil, burnt turmoil
while the wind lets loose her breath
Run for cover, father, mother
beg the sky to lift you high
If you listen, brother, sister
you will hear the sound of death.


Details | Lyric | |

Life's Bottomless Pit

Bankrupt and broke life has given to me
Endless contradictions with windows I see
What a shame that it is to be in this bind
However the outcome I'm losing my mind...

Yesterdays care gave out almost there
While trailing once more, lifes relentless wear
Has taken me down again and again
Yet this time it's different, this time I give...

Watching and wishing I keep on missing
Something inside that will stop it's pissing
Life's pissing on me and letting me know
Get out of the way get out of the flow

I've fallin again and boy I fell hard
Fighting lifes ways justifies my scar's
Painful emotions have robbed me today
It procrastinated awhile and became enraged
  
What can I do when inside me I knew
There's somewhere I'd been adjusting my view
I am all the way down and feeling quite sick
Standing on the bottom of life's bottomless pit...


Details | Free verse | |

Reflections of her Puzzle

Perched on a smooth river rock
    studying her reflection in the flow
A timeline of changing faces
   slowly drifts by...
Carefree happy child
   running, playing among trees.
Rebellious miserable teen
   banging her head against authority.
Disillusioned, deeply depressed
   escaping with her spirit broken.
New mother ecstatic in California
   memorizing his growing up slide show.
Lonely, desolate woman with wrong partners
   until near death does she part.
Empty-nesters' angst ridden face
   hidden, lost in darkness.
Unstoppable learner/teacher
   finding her pieces in lifes' school.
Evolving computer addict, isolator
   searching on-line for love.
Mostly content, peaceful now
   her heart found God and "true blue."
Freedom lover flying, watching from above
   Her lifes' puzzle face more balanced
   yet incomplete.


Details | Free verse | |

Dream

everything is peaceful and calm just like always
but then suddenly something is different
I wake up and realize yet again that it was just a dream
just one more dream that will never come true
for my life is far from peaceful and calm
I wake up yet again to a world gone wrong
a world as scary as any nightmare
maybe we're all just dreaming this world
and without dreams it wouldn't exist
maybe we're all just someones dream
someone like me dreaming their life away
hoping that things will get better some day
isn't that why we all dream?
to escape from our fears and problems
if only for a few hours
dreams are a never ending addiction
the almost perfect drug
and we all do it
we sleep everyday to escape our lives
only if we sleep will our dreams come true
but they're only an illusion
maybe the only way to make a dream happen
is to die and dream an eternal dream


Details | I do not know? | |

Abortion

Taking a life before it begins,
Not knowing what harm it will come from it,
Killing an innocent soul,
Not letting it live,
Never to experience life at all,
Never letting it smile,
Never letting it walk or crawl,
It's not his or her fault you messed up,
Don't blame it for your dumb mistakes,
You never give and take,
You took it's precious life away,
and now it can't come back,
You were right not to become a mom, 
Because you don't deserve the happiness it could bring,
It didn't have anything to do with the way it was made,
So that baby could not be the blame,
If your life is messed up real bad,
Tell that to the baby's dad,
If your life isn't what you thought it would be,
Tell everyone so they can see,
The most horrible person in theworld,
You didn't just kill a diamond you killed a pearl


Details | Bio | |

Sorry, Seems Eternity Ended Last Week

I was but a boy
You seemed almost a toy,
So young, and in love,
We fit just like a glove

You said, "All I can offer you,
Is a love that time can not destroy"
Oh boy!, Oh boy!!
It filled me full of joy.

Nineteen was I
Sixteen you were,
Living in our house,
My Mom, you loved her...

My father, you helped him
 build a stoop,
These are moments, 
We can never recoup...

But eternity was short lived,
You went to work,
Left me for another man,
I felt like the biggest jerk

No, it's not all your fault,
I realize that,
I did not provide something,
In grief I sat,
Your treacherous friend,
Her eyes on me,
Stirred the pot,
For whatever reason,
For me she was hot

But I would not cross that line,
Her boyfriend,
Was a friend of mine

Well it's all water under the bridge
Over troubled waters,
A song I cherish,
Our eternal love,
Was destined to perish.


Details | Lyric | |

.Alone.

you. are not. alone.
with cavernous ceilings closing in,
the impression of depression driving in the direction
of some unreachable goal of controlled insanity
– because always in control are you –
you harp on your uniqueness, your originality,
when in fact you are one of a many,
one of a group,
something you try so hard to deny
as the blood starts staining your hands
and drip, drops on this hallowed ground.
through the watery haze of your righteous tears
your gaze fails to fall on the footprints
of another and another, walking the floor,
their lifeblood draining just as yours.
all around you they sway, scepters
of tragedies pushed away and forgotten,
long forgotten,
as you blindly flail and try not to fall
off this lonely cliff of Last Resort where
you. are not. alone.
you search and you seek 
empathy, apathy, sympathy, any “-pathy”
to ease the pain of these lost, forgotten days,
and yet you miss these hands reaching out
wanting to hold you miss these words
said only to console you miss these eyes
meant to draw you in
and all you see in those eyes is a reflection
of something you’ve tried to deny
and you continue to balance
walking the  lines of chaos, trying not to spin
out, of, control
– because always in control are you –
you try to survive on the bread and bones
 of those come before, but blind you are
to the nature of your food, blind you are
to this world you stumble through
and blame endlessly, releasing you
from the responsibility you are being punished for, and
you. are not. alone.
so dive of your platform of solitary fears
dive into this river of comfortable tears
swim alongside these ghosts of years and years
of tragedies so like yours
let them carry you away from this
cliff of Last Resort and know that
you. are not. alone.


Details | I do not know? | |

Gemini Eyes In Sapphire Skies

(4 before start)
The sun descends as the
SWELLS RISE
Counting every coward as he passes by

You could take the place
Of the emerald lights
In the southern cities
Where the castles bloom
After a weathered trace
Of gold and two's

June bugs and fireflies
Are tearing up the autumn skies
"goodbye...GOODBYE!"

Kingdoms,
They all fall down
Where you're standing makes all the difference
(ALL THE DIFFERENCE NOW!)

Take my tongue and take my scarf
The STORM IS COMING IN!
Take my aim and take cover
This tempo is set for
SELF-DESTRUCTION


Details | Rhyme | |

The Return

Promises made on the day he did depart.
After a  long wait in hell.
When his feet touched  familar soil they'd  make a new start.

But time is a empty partner indeed.
Nights turned to endless hours.
And in a moment of weekness  she did concede.

With time and regret so we do learn.
He saw no one waitting.
On the day of his return.

So many happy smilling faces none he did know.
Just strangers in another life.
He just a extra in the background of this  traggic show.

He knew the adress but couldnt reconize  the place.
many storms had passed.
But haunted was the look apon her face.

Tears  and regret over what she had and for
what she did yern.
Victems of time  tears but not of joy.
Shed apon  this sudden return.

Deep within the eyes  thoose old feelings 
almost did shine through.
A confession in pain.When she waved farewell
it was already threw.

A leason of  emptyness two former 
lovers did learn.
Passion like any flame dies.
Leaving only smoke and darkness
to greet you apon your return.


Details | Free verse | |

Opening The Vein

Right now
     I have words 
flowing from my veins,
but what if it stops?
That can never happen
   all I have to do
   is slice another one open,
                     somewhere to dip my quill,
another way to release
       the torrent, 
            the flows,
                 the waves
of emotion that crash within me.
To eat away at the walls
that they use to keep the likes of me out,
but that can never happen
     I go where I want,
           the more unwelcome,
                 the more I'll be there,
 slowly pounding,
                     eroding,
                        wearing down
the barricades they set
to keep out the malcontents,
                           the undesirable,
         the vile,
              the evil.

Yes tis I 
the one no one would welcome
       howling in the back,
           scratching at the window,
               knocking at your door,
   pounding on your chest.

I have been here
                     forever....
      waiting....
           slinking....
              perched on your windowsill,
sitting just out of sight,
               'til the right moment.
That's how I do,
         that one second
                  can change your life,
and make mine last so much longer,
every little taste extends my being,
brings me closer to my next target.

As long as fear exists
        there will be me....


Details | I do not know? | |

The Truth

I’ve just learned the truth
Now I’ll never be the same,
I usually don’t point fingers
But this time you’re to blame.

In just a few short words
Coming from your cold heart,
You managed to break my spirit
And tear my world apart.

Lying gets you no where
You just dig yourself a hole,
If you want your life to be based on lies
Then you have accomplished your goal.

Ever heard that old saying
The truth shall set you free?
Well looks like you got what you wanted,
It just set you free from me.



Details | Bio | |

what about me?

my mind is open and my heart is pure
my share of troubles I have endured
I'm just making It form day to day
waiting for prosperity to come my way

when I see people with a whole lot of bucks
I wonder where is my share of the luck
and when I see famous and rich celebrities
all I can think to say is, "what about me?"

I use to think that I was undeserving
of whatever favors that God was serving
but now I know that that was not true
for God has given me many blessings too

when I think about all the times I got through situations unscathed
I now know that It was only by the grace of God that I was saved
and when I think about all the times I was down to my last cent
God sent some money my way, an unexpected present
and when I look back and realized many of my friends are now dead
I comprehend that my life was always spirit-led

It's not about money, the status nor the fame
It's about living life according to the rules of God's game
now I no longer go about asking, "what about me?"
I now know that I have been blessed with God's prosperity


Details | Quatrain | |

Painful Reminder

If reading this disturbs you
you're not the only one.
You are probably being reminded
of something you have done.

I am your painful reminder
that no one will forget.
I will always speak my mind.
I am not finished yet.

The pain you feel is nothing
compared to what you've done.
Don't worry, I know you're reading this
(and you're not the only one.)


Details | I do not know? | |

The Darkness

The beauty of nothing
Is what I see
If people opened their eyes
They would not see me.
There maybe less space
When I am around
But I am not seen
I cannot be found.
I am not worth 
My weight in gold
I am not worthy
For someone to hold.
I do not wish
For another day
I do not dream
I no longer pray.
I do not understand
Why I'm still here
I do not understand
Pain and tears.
Explain to me why
The good are to die
The bad left behind
To continue their lies.
Where is this light
I hear about
I'm lost in the darkness
With no way out.
I think of death
And what it might be
To end this nothingness
Which is me.
The answers continue
To be hidden from me
For today, tomorrow
Perhaps, eternity.
You cannot give love
Then laugh at me
For I am lost to the darkness
And no one sees.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Reapers Call

Loathing and choking in a smoke filled hall,
life passing by as I begin to fall,
fiery depths has taken its toll,
eternally falling as death takes its call,
meaningless choices in life,
as the reaper Say's hi,
I turn my cheek to say good bye,
hopeless to cry,
life is done and now its good bye!
as the light passes over I wander,
a endless journey in a new world before me,
Loathing in death and endless mourning,
tears of joy and hopeless tormenting,
I heath the call to end it all,
leaning forward to a endless fall,
Fields of joy,
Filld with light,
I walk through an endless night,
no exit or escape,
I run towards a hooded man in a cape,
eyes crimson with fury,
and a scythe at hand,
skin grey like stone,
in a soft voice he whispers to me,
the end is here and your to stay,
life is pointless if you throw it away!
peace and understanding to all,
by the moon and the stars,
we give freedom of worship,
to all,
freedom of the mind,
Heart, spirit and soul,
open your eyes to a new understanding,
of the world around you,
if you all took the time to breath,
you might see a better way,
Aces over kings,
empowerment is the key,
pure of hearts,
ritual of clubs,
spades of hell roam the hearts of sheep of Eden,
Truth comes in time and essence,
life goes on and so does Wicca for eternity!


Details | I do not know? | |

Crying, Sighing, Lying, Dying

Tired of crying
The same liquid anguish
The same  control pill
These tears are trying
These tears are winning
At mining out all optimism
At crashing all hopes

Tired of sighing
The wasted effort of pushing out air
An unheeded attempt
An unheeded despair
I've got nothing left
Had nothing in the first place
So why am I sighing?
If theres no memory to dream of

Tired of lying
This same old facade
My smiles are of a Noh mask
Interpret them as you may
A smile in irony
A smile in decay
I have a morbid sense of humor
But you can think I'm really happy
Your thoughts make no mark upon mine

Tired of dying
The same thing every day
My soul is broken into pieces
One dies a day
While the others just rot 
Waiting for their chance
Living like deer in headlights
Just terrified, blind, watching themselves die.


Details | I do not know? | |

Nature's Poetess

As I chant my sisters' creed,
And forge my talisman,
I remember violent lullabies
That I still can't understand.
I say if these wilds could be controlled,
With wants to habilitate,
Than why on Earth would fractured souls
Still thrive to fornicate?
So here I am,
My guise be true,
Thy young sorceress,
Controlled by wilds of casting spells,
And sensual naughtiness!
I bled for them,
I chased the sun,
Now I've tied my tourniquet.
Everything that once was blue,
Is now raging violet!
The Garden's dark,
The moon is full,
I dance while I undress;
In this place, this dance, this time,
I am Nature's poetess,
As if somehow,
Back long ago,
With boundaries overstepped,
I led a life,
Oh hearts do Scream!
I lived a life unwept!
 


Details | I do not know? | |

Wings of Lead

on wings of lead some shall fly
not to soar but to fall
weighed down by the burdens of life
they tumble out of control
unable to stop or slow down
the pain of life to much to bear
some don’t even care
they are lost and will not be found
their lives seem meaningless
doomed to an eternal wandering
there are those that soar
and those that fall
save yourself I’ll tell you 
while you still can 
for I am falling to
wishing I had done something so long ago
but now I’m falling and I cannot stop
nothing can stop me 
but hitting the bottom 
only death could stop me now
for I am falling and there is nothing to stop me
my life unlived and cut so tragically short
tragic to you maybe 
but freedom to me
no longer weighed down by the wings of lead
I am free of my pain 
pain so severe it made life unlivable
unable to soar with the rest
I fall as do so many
unable to keep up from the weight 
shackled to my misery and depression 
I pray for it to end quick
that I may be set free
free of what haunts me so gravely
the fear of life itself


Details | I do not know? | |

Why I Really Write (2005)

I grew up where my opinion was a waste
Everything was chosen even my taste

Speaking my mind was seen as rude
Everything I said caused a feud

I speak my mind 
It helps me unwind

I'm honest and don't beat around the bush
But after every word I heard 'hush'!

To develop communication it needs to be fed
All these words should have been heard and not read

I was told that someone would cut off my tongue
I was very young

I could barely read or write but I had little choice
My pen and paper has become my voice


Details | Quatrain | |

Sharpening the Knife

So what
Don't give me that look
It was just a cut
I am no crook

I feel better
To see my arm bleed
You yell, "Get Her"
But the cut is my feed

Why do you make me stop?
It doesn't hurt that bad
You are not some sort of cop
Cutting makes me glad

I don't feel anymore
But the sharp blade
I am no longer hurting in the core
All the feelings fade

I wear a jacket
To cover the scars
And I'll have to hack it
They are my permanent memoirs

So I'll just sit
And sharpen the knife
Don't throw a fit
This is my life

It's not like you know pain
I do, more then others
I live life in vain
And I won't get help from my mother

I don't want your help
Just leave me alone
So just hush your yelp
Don't give me that tone

This is my choice
Not yours to say
The cut is my voice
So just let me waste away...


This is for anyone, who has felt alone, you aren't, things can never be as bad as they seem, just keep 
moving and never give up.



Details | Free verse | |

Hell Is For Heroes

I ran the blade under my thumbnail,
scouring dirt with the tip,
and stared aimlessly at the street.
Switchblade thoughts clicking,
metronomic stilettos on wet paving,
drawing closer.
In this sleeping wakefulness,
this illusion of life,
she never arrives;
waiting, as you do, for endings,
or new beginnings,
becomes strictly habitual.
They say hell is for heroes,
abide there with fiery halos
and tickertape ash.
I ran the blade under my thumbnail,
pressing harder, drawing blood,
a singular jewel procreating,
welling then dripping, dripping.
I’m no hero,
just a deadening excuse
like the rest.
And yet it still feels like hell
to me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Unlovable

There’s a realm that lives inside of me,
And I call it secret heart valley. 
There the sun is always shining,
Though in this world I am pining.
There the flowers always bloom,
Whilst the real world swirls with gloom.
This place exists I tell you true, 
And there the sky is always blue.
Path ways of the whitest marble,
You really should visit; it’s quite a marvel.
Trees awaken fresh and new,
Dripping with the morning dew.
Waves lap gently at lake shores,
And here my heart, it aches no more.
Here I wander happy and free,
Released from the real world’s misery.
I run through the hills so very thrilling,
I bathe in the rivers fast and chilling.
I rest by a warm fireside at night,
And in the creatures of the forest gain much delight.
It’s the ultimate getaway for one,
It costs not a cent; it’s just for fun.
If your life in this world has made you down trodden and blue,
You can visit secret heart valley too.
Fore you’ll have to create one of your own,
My special place is not for loan.
You’ll find this sweet garden on no map or chart,
The key is located within your own heart.
Take some time to enjoy and create,
And your worldly cares will temporarily abate. 


Details | Verse | |

Reality (Age: 12)

"The world is your oyster,"
Some wise man once said.
This wise man was nuts,
What was wrong with his head?

The world's a cold place,
Which is easy to see;
From our cool, mirky waters;
To our beautiful, dead trees.

They used to talk about soulmates,
When love equaled life;
Now they murder the husband,
Who cheats on his wife.

"Every man for himself,"
That's our new motto now;
And try finding a man, 
That could pray or teach how.

"The world is your oyster,"
Some wise man once said;
I wonder if our wise friend,
Ever got out of bed.


Details | Lyric | |

. and then,

there are times 
when my heart
remains silent
when its pulse is
steady and slow
there are times
when i am
right with the world
fitting in like a piece
to an irregular puzzle
there are times 
when the sounds
of the life that surrounds me
blend in infinite splendor
with the music that plays
within.

and then,

there are times
when my heart explodes
and its rapid beating
becomes too much
for the confines of my chest 
there are times
when i seem to be
a square block 
struggling to escape
this round hole
of an existance
there are times
when the cacophonous symphony
invading my mind
overlaps with what
i hear outside
and the resulting noise
is disarmingly similar
to my inner chaos.

and then,

there are times
when i wonder
when this
nauseating see-saw
will stop its
strange rhythm
when the boundaries
that dictate
the shape of my life
will stop their 
shape-shifting
when i can be left 
in peace.

and then,

each time
this wondering arrives
it is followed by a certainty
that the answer is

never.


Details | Couplet | |

In A TIme

In a world filled with lust and sin,
People knock, but can't get in.

There is no right, and there's no wrong.
There's no perserverance to carry on.

There's no happiness, and there is no sorrow.
Folks look forward, but not to tomorrow.

Uncertaincy grips you as you proceed with caution.
Victories are won, but not very often.

Now is the time of broken hearts,
When folks move on, and don't get very far.

Where you want to hope, you dare to dream,
And everything in life is more than it seems.

A time in life of missed opportunities and lost chances.
Where people no longer believe in "love," or "romances."

The world once known has come to an end,
And a 'new,' less appealing one is about to begin. 


Details | Verse | |

Enough

The cold sweat bead
slow-trickled down my spine,
fears in transmigration,
yours then mine.
Imagined kisses lingered
twisted mouth,
as the house of waxing lyrical
rotated south.
The fly-trap night gave 
terminal time to think,
as poison wine
became your favoured drink.
nostalgic times strung up, 
no more remain,
pray God they never haunt
my mind again.

The self absorbing words
the stuff you write,
the doggerel of self pity
black and white;
a blind beholder’s eye 
no tears shed,
a love that never was, 
forever dead,
The churning bile I feel,
when rears your name,
hypnotically revolts
and bucks with shame,
repulsive sickness stabs
my fevered brow,
enough is quite enough,
forever now.


Details | I do not know? | |

Us Avoiding We

The smiles are replaced by teardrops that you and I both cry,

our love is growing colder as we prepare to say good-bye.

It’s really not the love loss that is pushing us away,

it’s the boredom and frustration growing stronger everyday.

Both of us have found a way to go off and just be free,

Why is it that you can’t see it’s Us Avoiding We?

The love’s no longer magic, the gold has turned to ash,

we no longer share the same dreams, decisions made are rash.

I really think I love you, yet lately I don’t know,

our relationship is crumbling and we choose to stand alone.

We used to laugh together, now we cry apart,

our lives were filled with sunshine and the beating of two hearts.

Yet now we live together and how distant we’ve become,

we no longer see the glory in the majestic setting sun..

I’d love to see the fun return, the smiles and the laughs,

the times when we were never an aching heart in half.

The pain we feel seems stronger than the love we used to share,

the doubts and all the worries seem more than we can bear.

Time is passing quickly and someday you too will see,

we shared the best before the days of Us Avoiding We...



Details | Lyric | |

You Don't Notice

You don't notice how I feel
You just think everything is real
But my pain can't heal 
When you are just standing still

I am always hurt but you don't know
It is not like i want to show
If i told you, you will blow
So my emotions, you will never know

You don't notice how I cried
How i am so broken deep inside
You notice how I lied
But you don't notice why

You blamed me for everthing I do
You suffocated me for all I'd done for you
If this is what you are going to put me through
Then, I will just separate from you

There is a reason why I don't talk everyday
You are the one who made me this way
So today, i shall pray
That hoping your love won't be delay

You are not concerned of me
You just think you are always right
But when I know you are wrong
All you did was start a fight

You don't notice how i feel
You don't notice how I cried
You are immatured of what is real
And you just left me broken inside.


Details | Rhyme | |

Grim Fairytale

Of stunted dreams
and lying schemes
on sand the castle stood
       	~~~
through windows slit in deep stone walls
no light be found within
the moldy, moody corridors
resound with deafening din

she dreams of love forsaken
and feeds them to the birds
who keep her from insanity
silent whispers without words

she spends her time with puzzles
in the dungeon dank and dark
digging for missing pieces
of her torn and scattered heart

one day the gates will open
the lock will rust and fall
she’ll step into the sun
and not look back at all


Details | Lyric | |

Teach Me How To Love

I was born beautiful
But…deformed by men
Lead me the way… 
To humanity


Details | Rhyme | |

Disarray

Come slip
beneath
   my skin
where time has
   lost
   its mind
where
angles slew askew
   toward chaos
close behind
where
   up
   sees
   hope
that
   down
betrays
   left
standing
unaware
that
   right
goes toward
the
   light
and
   dark
collects despair


Details | Free verse | |

Madison Avenue

She adores my laugh
and fears my history
But finds herself in the pieces
of a mirror that hangs above an empty bed
Empty of heart
Empty of desire
Empty of that void that hides what a soulmate can only see
without vision
without touch
without light
without her
Explain the taste that lingers upon my ears
and drips me wet upon a dry heart
with hope
with passion
with trust
with adoration
She adores my laugh
She adores my words
She adores my pain
She adores me
a me that needs her
a me that does love her
a me that is learning to like me
because of her
because of her heart
because of her desire
because of her laugh
I slip into a pallet of paint 
that contains her
that envies no rainbow
that never washes clean or away
that is of a rare brilliance
She heals my damaged soul
and fades my hidden scars 
beneath the glass gates
beneath the nervous smiles
beneath the unwilling goodbye
beneath the pain 
My Madison does exist


Details | Lyric | |

105

105
105
I just hit 105
Am I alive?
Am I alive?
Driving in rage at 105
Run away
Run away
Leave behind this day
105
105
I can’t escape going 105
A lonely heart
still falls apart
No matter how fast you go


Details | Quatrain | |

Still Life Imperfect

Bitten fruit in still life oils
shined by light internal
shows there is no sweet perfection
immortalized eternal
Portraits crunched, pureed and such
by hands dissolved, ungifted
wipe the paint from canvas skin
until the stains are lifted
Soak the sky with thoughts of art
Speak like a simpleton speaks
Scour the ground for a speck of emotion
to hoard in your hollows for weeks
Reconcile to read a book
Bury your heart in it's sleeve
At the moment you feel like a still life imperfect
you humbly ask and receive...


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Take It

By the pale of dawn
I took back my love
And by the dark of night
I told two lies
Never again will I wish
For a lover's bloodstained kiss
Nor remember him with weeping eyes

You stole me from a peaceable sleeping
And brought me to the enchanted place
Then turned me loose upon the wind
And showed to me a stranger's face

Take from me all youth and grace
Beauty, wit and strength to care
Take from me my dreaming eyes
Rosy mouth and twilight hair
Take from me this heart forlorn
Newly formed and newly torn
And throw it to the raging sea
Else you will not depart from me


Details | Free verse | |

Madison on my mind......

The dry sand blends with her flesh
   as I sink into that coffee cream fresh valley
      that peeks beyond the safe beats of a bellybutton
         tapping against the winds of me

Rain runs against the porcelain bottom
     as she releases hidden sounds from her aching soul
         that resist me through distance but shall fail
            to the desire of our entwined chance in time


Details | Free verse | |

"It All"

As it all once again repeats,
Retreating my soul
Into my reminiscences;
Back into my echoing laments,

I once again try to avoid it all,
I try to elude myself,
But realize that it all again
Grasps me back to the mystified beginning,

I search and search
For the “happy” past I thought I had,
For the moments I thought would sympathize,
But now it all made it seem that,
I’m living in disguise,

It all might live within me,
It all now is a part of me,
Esoteric though, to some
People it might be,

……………

Now that I know
That one’s shadow only fades
When it’s intended not to be seen,
I always close my eyes
And try to dream,

And…

Here I am right now,
Staring outside my kitchen’s balcony,
Contemplating all these birds
Flutter their pinions in 
 And out of an enormous tree…

It all made me smile,
It all made me leave the balcony
And go run around that tree…
Like all these birds,
It all made me flutter my pinions,
And fly…


Details | Free verse | |

Outcast

forgotten and rejected
I am the outcast
ignored by all abused by many
you see me every day
yet you see right through me
in your eyes I don't exist
another nameless face in the crowd
I am lost but will never be found
wandering aimlessly forever
unsure of where to go next
I am scared
but no one is there to comfort me
for I am the outcast
alone in the back of every room
there is one of us
you may not see us
but look hard enough and you will
don't look too long for I may look away
embarrassed and ashamed of something unknown
don't enter my world unless you are prepared
because once you are in there's no going back


Details | I do not know? | |

Remnants

Watching you struggle,
 With the demons you hold,
Ignoring the life’s lessons,
 And all you’ve been told.
Shuffled and dank,
You appear out of sorts,
 Unsteadily perched,
 Rocking; back and forth.
Eyes of distain glaring about,
Moans of displeasure,
As if there was doubt.
Selfish, and subtle,
Ingesting such filth,
Silent surrender,
Of body; and will.
Fingernails blackened,
Skin ashen grey,
Unable to determine,
Night time or day.
No hope for the future,
No desire to soar,
Depleted ambition,
Nothing is more.
So sad how it started,
All in good fun,
Unshaven and dirty,
Remnants of,
My son.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Black

I am black
but I am not A Black.
I am voluptuous
but I am Not a Rack
I am sexy
but I am not just 
some good time in the sack.
I am black 
but I am not A Black.

I'm not a brain
but I know that I am smart.
I'm no beauty
but just like you
I'm a living work of art.
You try to put me in a slot
but you cannot
know where to start
exept I'm human
with a spirit and a heart

So pardon me if I neglect 
to "Shoot mad hooops" like you expect
or use a certain dialect

or sing, or rap or braid my hair
or threaten to "Pop a Cap" in you if you stare
or squeeze out the babies and collect my welfare -

See, I don't need to act a certain way
to prove I'm black
and I don't need to live like 
every day is an attack
and I don't need to 
live the way you say
because the fact is
I am black
but I am not A Black.


Details | Lyric | |

Untitled

It’s no gain to waste all this pain.

A disgrace to not always hide this face.

My mind is lame, and it’s a shame,

to feel so numb and not be dumb.

I hate to say life’s not always been this way.

It’s an outrage that I ever lived outside this cage.

Apathy works best for me.

Cold-hearted to myself, the cheaply departed.

Sadness makes me the happiest. 

My loneliness makes me feel so blessed.

This bitter resentment fills me with contentment.

My biggest folly ever was delaying this melancholy.

However this ailment is reaching my fulfillment,

Leaving me empty, sad, happy and whole.

My bitterness is such bliss.

A feeling that I would surely miss.

I often lament evading this torment.

This suffering is the greatest thing ever.

I frequently regret never being upset.

Now I daily look forward to the sorrow that’s promised by tomorrow,

and I pray it comes each and everyday.

Without its displeasure I cannot carry on,

for it is my greatest treasure.


Details | Free verse | |

The Power of Pain

pain is a mover,
and a shaker,
stirs one to action
to escape its evil claws

It has its own schedule-
and mocks your attempts
to deal with it
and it never takes a pause

Its tendrils spread throughout-
as certain bastions of misery-
scattered all about-
the fortress of agony

you can try to ignore it,
but never successfully,
or fight it with med's
but you will be forced to see
such efforts are so useless,
It was what was meant to be

you can't reason with it,
just endure it until
it's had its merry fill
of sadistic persecution,
don't let it break your will

alone I battle
fear of death
at times
creeps into my thoughts....


Details | Rhyme | |

So Why did you hurt me so

Why you did , what you did I will never know.
Why you put me through so much pain, and hurt me so.
You obviously had your reasons.
But then I didnt know what they were.
Now since I found out.
The pain has been even harder to bear.
You sold me down the river, 
Knowing I couldnt even swim.
Only you and i know.
You commited the cardinal sin.
You broke me, you destroyed me.
My spirit and my soul.
How was I ever going to fight back, to reach.
The unreachable goal.?
But just like Humpty dumpty who had a great fall.
 I had to learn all over again to walk tall.
I found a handfull of people to help put me back together again.
To help wipe out the misery , the suffering, the pain.
So I could get on with my life, start living again.


Details | Couplet | |

Love, Hate And My Fate

In my quest of life sublime
I face a mountain I must climb

There dwells up inside of me
A growing amount of hostility

My anger is growing day by day
Regardless of the prayers I pray

Like two grinding tectonic plates
One is love and the other is hate

As the plates slowly grind away
Price of hate my love must pay

Like a beautiful exotic dance
Hate is held in dark romance

Like a lone mountain flower
Love shall hold mystic power

The two sides of a single face
Only one can rule this place

Off to hell fallen angels go
Is this the fate of my soul?

Is the meaning of this rhyme?
Bound by the hands of time

For all to hear and all to see
Love and hate each dwell in me

Love and hate each have their goal
I wonder, which shall win my soul




Details | Rhyme | |

A living hell My Agoraphobia

My Agoraphobia.
In 1983 you came back  into my life.
Bringing me nothing, but trouble and strife.
You kept me a prisoner in my own home.
When all I longed for, Was to go out alone.
You caused me pain, you made cry,
I felt so ill, I thought I would die.
From doctor, to doctor, from pillar to post.
Where o where, is the cure I wanted the most?
Where exactly does the answer lie?
Eventually I found it, in a doctor called Di.
She gave me the will to carry on and fight.
I fought so hard, with all of  my might.
The shops in the village seemed so very far away.
If only I could go out, just for one single day.
I tried and tried, the tears, the pain,
It was a battle lose or gain,
I gave it everything, yes everything I had.
It wasn’t easy, in fact, it was very bad.
In 1990, after 7 long years,
A lot of heartache, many, many tears,
I was starting to win the battle of getting out the door,
With each day, I was doing more and more,
But there was still so many things that I couldn’t do alone.
Still so many jobs, that had to be done on the phone.
I could now walk to the shops, there and back,
 get the groceries, take them home, and unpack,
But I still couldn’t get a bus into town on my own,
only if I had someone to go with, borrowed, on loan.
It took several more years, of heartbreak and pain,
Before I could finally travel alone again.
May 2nd  2000, I jumped on a bus and popped into town,
It was just like my world had been turned upside down.
HERE WAS I FREE AT LAST,
Finally free to forget the past.
So I decided to do something I had never done before. 
I started at college part time, each day I couldn’t wait to get out of the door,
To catch my bus, to feel like I had finally rejoined the human race.
Living life at a hectic pace.
Going to college at the age of 53,
Really did do wanders for me.
The computer course was harder than I thought it would be, 
but others in the class helped me.
Our tutor was really nice,
Always ready with good advice.
Now I really feel I have turned my life completely around,
With this new freedom I have found.
With a lot of help, from my husband and son,
The battle is over, finally won.
So its goodbye agoraphobia you belong in the past,
Never again will you get me in your grasp.

This is a true poem of my own battle with Agoraphobia, That robbed me of a lot of my life, 


Details | Rhyme | |

My Miracle, this is a true poem



I looked at the clock, My life was slowly ebbing away.
I didn’t think I would reach 40, What a high price to pay.
I was coming off tranquillisers 15 a day prescribed by my then  G P,
But the withdrawal symptoms were so horrendous I could hardly see.
I was constantly being sick night and day,
All I could do was to sit and  pray this nightmare would go away.
I couldn’t walk properly, My balance had completely gone,
I couldn’t pay privately, as money I had none.
I also had Agoraphobia, so I couldn’t even go out of  the door,
This wasn’t a life worth living any more.
All I was left with, was to say a prayer,
To ask for a miracle. Lay my soul bare.
A week or so later, a letter in my hand,
An appointment with a new doctor, I could hardly stand.
Over the next year a miracle unfolded, bit by bit.
I didn’t even have to walk with my stick.
I started to go out a bit more each day,
Various obstacles got in my way.
But I was determined, I was not going back,
I mapped out a plan to keep myself on track.
I did it, I conquered my Agoraphobia, and  got off the pills.
I even went to college for the first time to learn new skills.
I went on Radio, Television, Newspapers and Magazines all covered my story.
The miracle I prayed for had happened, mine was now the glory.


 
 
v


Details | Epic | |

We Lost More Than a Dad

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost half of how we came to be
We lost we four girls first love
We lost our Best Friend

We lost more than just a Dad that day
Our Mom lost her Soul Mate, Her other half 
Our children lost their Papaw
We lost our family’s foundation 
We lost the glue that held us together

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost the Strongest man we ever knew 
We lost the man we looked up too
We lost we four girls Teacher of many things

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We four girls lost our Hero
We lost some of our Light
We lost part of our Heart
We lost part of our Soul

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost some of our Courage
We lost some of our Strength
We lost some of our will to fight back
We lost some of our will to carry on
We four girls lost more than a Dad
We lost more than just a Dad that day


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 1)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 2 to complete the poem and leave your comments on the Part 2 submission. Thank 
you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain diminished 


Me, Myself, and I...


“There are things that concern us,”
		Consensed my “Selves” in earnest
““We” fear that “I” have succumbed to delusion”

“And after careful deliberation
		It is with much hesitation
That we choose to delineate upon this confusion”


“Fact is your intuition
		Is riddled with superstition
And your judgment leaves much to be desired”

“So you leave us no recourse
		Don’t push us to use force”
It is then that the “I” was summarily fired


I exclaimed “By whose authority?” Response, “Rule of majority”
“The “Myself” and the “Me,” (forthwith the “We”), are experts in our field”

“And with much technique and time
		And some forays into the sublime
The nature of your malady will be revealed”


“So to keep yourself from having a fit
		Step back and just calm down a bit”
“We,” they said, “certainly have this under control”

“We swear this won’t hurt at all”
		Then I felt my inhibitions fall
Still I said a prayer to God that He keep my soul


You know, fact is I do feel off axis
		As evidenced by such parapraxis
As this prose that I, (or is it “Us”), seek to pen

And with my mind feeling numb
		I finally chose to succumb
And allow the “Me” and the “Myself” to begin


And then came questions in a flurry
		Answer, answer and please do hurry
Not one moment of respite did they give

They pushed and they prodded
		With every “T” crossed and “I” dotted
My mind felt like it had gone through a sieve


And all this psycho-analysis
		Is causing my mind paralysis
The questions, can you stop with the questions please

“Yes, oh yes indeed
		I do believe we have what we need
To make an attempt to identify your unknown neuroses”


Details | Concrete | |

Squirrel

SquirrelDartingHereAndThere.
        m
   u         p
J               s!
Still.
On it s	    a      e
	c      tt       rs.
FULL of LIFE. 
ChasedAwayByThe neighborhood dog.
Still. 
Always listening.
Ears Perked.
ROAR!
      A
SP      T
      L
Gone.


|[Oli_12]|


Details | Verse | |

My Words

Sometimes my poetry is just a case of words, 
and not necessarily my reality;                                     
and that’s what is so beautiful about writing

You can be who you want to be on any level 
and tell secrets about fantasies that may never be;  
or take trips to other dimensions on mental journeys,                                                                        or places that some don’t even think exist

They mimic thoughts that manifest themselves as poetry 
and rest on pages patiently waiting to adhere
My words are a reflection of my heart 
and they reveal the truth behind my mask of fear
they deliver reality doses  whether they are just cases, 
or me in the absolute right here

My words exude positive intentions; 
my imperfections apparent but I accepted rejections 
and reversed dejection  
and decided to bare all my fantasies, my flaws my very soul 
and temptations

Uncertain how voiced verses appeal to outside sources but internally they set me free
They provide a medium of light and creativity
A chance to apply knowledge and a time for reflecting on and making changes in my frequency
My words are attached to my soul and its overwhelming ability to just be
They reflect what I was before         
the choices I’ve made and the reasons that this life is perfect 
according to divine order

They represent the voices of my ancestors from the beginning of time 
because up until now, 
the ending wasn’t within reach so I make sure that I
carefully choose the format and the right place and time 
to deliver the message that may be blatant or hidden inside – 
of the abstract placements of verbs
giving praise to the source of power that calmly submits to the voice 
connected to my words
I am the originator of my own words
I hope that you are inspired, or simply entertained
by the process by which I've placed my words


Details | Haiku | |

Not His Game

He tried basketball.
He can’t run and he can’t jump.
He sits in the stands.


Details | Free verse | |

The Loss of a Farmer of Man

The rivers of life are most dear to those with young.
These rivers supply life, ensuring the survival of what is most precious.
It is when the river runs dry; the last drops of liquid are tears...
Tears of all that is lost.

The fertile soil soon dries and becomes barren.
The efforts of man are unable to save the farm.
This farmer... a farmer for man... lost what is most dear.
His vision for the future has died.

The farm itself screams in pain as the river flows away.
Her life is leaving and she is unable to save what grows beneath.
What is most dear to the farm is dying.
Her life, everything she wanted... now stripped from her.

Such farms all have a gate that closes them to the rest of the world.
As the farmer stands staring at the sign above the farm... remembering that night.
He came from no where with no reason... stabbing his wife in her stomach and 
heart.
His memory, while staring at the sign..."Here lies both a loving wife and future 
mother."


Details | Couplet | |

Beyond The Gates

Behind these gates lay quite the scene
So very surreal, yet not a dream

Beautiful headstones, manicured lawns
My God the memories this place spawns 

The winding road, first turn to the right
Back to the beginning of my plight

Stopping next to the second trail
My heart and head pound like hell

On the left eleven headstones away
Like a movie my memory starts to play

People gathered from all around
My mother knew everyone in town

At the time I was still unable to speak
My shattered psyche was far too weak

I stood there broken and full of fear
Ashamed I could shed not a single tear

Ashamed I could speak not a single word
Inside my head so many voices heard

What did those voices have too say
That’s another story for another day

Those gates now hold so many I love
Everyone I once held above

Last time I entered them I was 32
Even though those gates hold all of you

Next month I’ll go back and explain why
Tell my mother the reason I couldn’t cry

Apologize to her for being broken
Leave flowers, a poem, and my N.A. token

That way she will know without any doubt
What her little boy ended up being all about

That her little boy is not broken anymore
Overcoming adversity is what adversity is for

And one day when I’ve completed my fate
I’ll be looking for her, “Beyond the Gate”


The Shafter, California cemetery holds my mother, Grandparents, my cousin James and many
close friends. The last time I visited them was approx. 18 years ago. It’s very strange
that I received, “Beyond the Gates” as my topic, because; I’ve been planning this trip for
months now. If not for that fact I would have most likely written this poem about prison
gates. I reckon all things happen for a reason. Thank you Constance writing this poem has
given me strength to help me do what I plan to do. Go make amends to the person who gave
me life and taught me the things, which stuck with me through it all. My Grandparents
never lost hope in me and always said, "One day Mikey will remember the things we taught
him and return to the Lord." I think they will be proud of the man who comes to visit them
next month.





Details | Munaajaat | |

Tell Me

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know

Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know

Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that

You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know

You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me, Help me to understand

You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel

How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door

You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't take his place
Answer me, you owe me that much



Sabrina Niday Hansel
~Niday40873~

(motif) Spiritual


Details | Couplet | |

A Prayer for my Wife

                           A Prayer for my Wife


Now I’ll tell you all the details if I can keep from sheddin’ a tear
Last night when it got late and really quiet around here 

I got down on my knees, crossed my heart and began to pray
And in the darkness between me and God, here’s what I had to say

I love her so much Lord and I just don’t know what I’d do
I’m afraid that she won’t make it, that’s why I’m coming to you

Here with my heart open, at your mercy down on my knees
I’m begging’ you with every heartbeat, Oh Lord hear my pleas

I don’t know what your plans are or what you have in store
And I know I don’t deserve her and that she deserves much more

And don’t misunderstand Lord, I don’t assume any obligation
For your bounty in our life has exceeded all our expectations

But please allow her to live and me to be a part of that life
And I swear I’ll make this beautiful woman proud to be my wife

And if it’s not in your plans Lord then I pray that you take me instead
Cause’ I can’t live without my love, I’d be better off dead

And no excuses for my past Lord, but I’ll do better than I’ve done
I ask you only this, my lord, in the name of your Son.

I wiped my tears as I said my amen’s and prepared myself to stand
Stepped up next to your bed and began to caress your pretty hand

I stared off into space as all the memories came flooding in
Reliving each and every moment, over and over again

And as the first rays of sunshine, streamed in past the curtain
I felt an overwhelming peace calm my mind and ease the hurtin’

I felt compelled to kiss you so I pressed my lips to your face
And it seemed the room was filled in the beauty of God’s living grace

And you slowly opened your eyes and smiled for me to see
And I knew the Lord my God had given my sweet wife back to me


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 2)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 1 first so as to get the true gist of the poem and leave your comments here on the 
Part 2 submission. Thank you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain 
diminished.


Me, Myself, and I... (continued)


“Your, (Or “Our”), symptoms seem to intermit
		And the fact that “You’re,” (“We’re”), a hypocrite
Tis no wonder we’re having such problems with diagnosis”

Then “I” had an idea so grand
		To dispense with this at my own hand
A self-inflicted coup de grace would be my prognosis


So while the “Me” and the “Myself” squabbled
		With courage newly cobbled
“I” spotted the dresser drawer and made my run

With fingers fiercely fumbling
		Whilst they continued grumbling
“I” produced from the depths of the drawer a shiny gun


And now my life, though ill-fated
		Was soon to be vindicated
This would affect us all equally the same

Would be no myself or me
		No you, him, us, or we
But an inclusive all would be to blame


It took me a moment to figure
		Out the safety on the trigger
Then “I,” (or “Us”), prepared to do the dirty deed

Then the barrel found my temple
		And as it settled into the dimple
A still small voice did my “selves” choose to heed


Hence a moment of clarity 
		Harkened me to posterity
And I thought what a legacy to leave behind

“Can’t we all find a way
		To save this miserable day
And avoid a broken body for someone to find”


And then deep within my soul
		I felt and heard a simple drum roll
And the differing sides of me just subsided

And with my mind now as one
		I worked to get this all undone
The whole business of this stuff I derided


And tis now true of fact
		That I survived this ordeal intact
And lived to raise my face unto the sky
 
And here now as it ends
		I find I’ve made good friends
With the “Me”, the “Myself,” and the “I”


Thank you for taking the time to share in my poetry. Please feel free to leave your thoughts 
or comments here on this page. 

J. Scott Burns...


Details | Free verse | |

Agree to Disagree

                                               
                                               Mankind's greatest
                                                 accomplishment...
                                                       
                                                      

                                                      is death.


Details | Quatrain | |

My Chagrin

Once again to my chagrin
     This nightmare perseveres
And through the glass it comes to pass
     To feed upon my fears

And it seems to slay my dreams
     And in their stead leave blind
Mine own two eyes to that one prize
     My soul doth seek to find

Still I pray that night gives way
     And cures this circumstance
That captive holds my weary soul
     Within it's darkened trance

And perhaps lay loose the straps
     That bind me to this cross
And free from 'round my neck now bound
     This curs'ed albatross


Details | Couplet | |

Betrayal

Betrayal is a subject I know to well
A one-way ticket to a place called hell

Whatever the case when trust is lost
A piece of your soul will be the cost

Be it by a lover or a dear friend
Regardless it will lead to the end

Something as special as it can be
Tossed to the side for pure misery

Built on treachery and based on a lie
No doubt all of the blue has left the sky

As the sky turns dark and sheds its tears
Shame and guilt fill the guilty with fear

My friend turned me in; ratted me out
I was found guilty without any doubt

What happened soon as I hit the pen?
My girlfriend up let him move on in

Full of hate and driving on the yard
Hands of fate played a beautiful card

He got busted one very beautiful day
Right to my yard they sent him away

Scared to death and shaking like a leaf
He walked on the yard to my disbelief

I was due to parole the very next day
Yet off the SHU they shipped me away

One of those things you just can’t let go
Regardless of the price and cost to the soul

You know sometimes choices can be real hard
When you’re a junkie walking the prison yard 


Written for the Betrayal contest


Details | Limerick | |

Cheaper To Keep Her (Divorce Club)

(Haiku)- * Motive, infidelity messing with the Queen Bee's Honey*

Queen Bee sits on throne,
Bumble and drone bees as one
Sample flowers dew

------------------------

(Limerick) - *Admission of guilt leads to compensation*

Indeed this is how the story unfolds,
Pete said, "It's a poor rat with only one hole"...
Love had taught a sad lesson;
Divorce court was now in session,
Judge rules favor, Pete's pockets full of holes...

----------------------------

(Couplet) - *Take vows seriously payback often belongs to Spouse - Queen Bee*

Love said, "Pete too late you've opened your peepers"....
"Man, you should know it was cheaper to please her"!






Submitted for P.D.'s Divorce Club Contest (Haiku-Limerick-Couplet)


Details | Lyric | |

Overcoming Struggle

Overlook a lifetime past
Remember how it did not last
Life changes quickly before your eyes.
This so called reality surrounded by lies.
A sad thought it may seem
I do not want to open  my eyes to another dream.
Real reality set in.
Lets look forward and begin
I am in this game of life to win.
I will not give up and lose.
I will stand tall
even though I am battered and bruised.


Details | Verse | |

Mind and Sound

Only light can penetrate the 
darkness
that resides in the default state 
of mind
I descend from beta to delta 
through
binaural beats; instantly caught 
between frequencies beyond 
time 

I absorb amplitudes of acoustic 
energy
and I learn to just be earth 
Since I am the earth 
and because I am of
the one that is the source of its 
existence, 
I've owned the power of 
omnificence 

I realize now that I AM because
HE is since I am from that, a 
descendant 
Created in the image of a 
thought
and a feeling from the 
Universal Mind
I tune in to this vibration from 
rhythmic
pulse that manipulates 
subconscious minds

Immersed  between 4 and 7 
hertz;
brainwaves halt to a conscious 
sleep
All  chakras are aligned shining 
crown energy 
and now my consciousness 
begins to reap! 
and light begins to penetrate 
the harmonious beams
that were already there
constant and always there 

is now flooded with sound 
patterns
that force brainwaves to submit 
to power
of omnipresent sound that 
always was 
and always will be connected to 
the Source from which I came
so I extend exponentially 
beyond;
physical time and space

I long to embrace the intensity 
of gamma rays
I give way to the coded sounds 
that resonate from the inner 
core
and continue to connect 
through the binaural beats that 
-  
remind me of before

Always familiar but ignored
until found by gaining 
knowledge of self
I listen with the intent to excel 
while reaping an abundance of 
benefits and rewards
Listen!! 
It's already yours

Just reach out and grab it 
as long as intention and ego is 
checked
the universe will correspond 
accordingly
it will deliver a life to you divine 
and orderly
Just listen to the sounds that 
were there from before
They will guide to to the 
vibration from the core
and it will guide you to connect 
directly with the source 




Details | I do not know? | |

Fortunate Is An Antonym For You And I

I miss you,
You threw me away,
Away without a second thought,
A thought about how I'll hurt,
Hurt like the five other girls you played with,
Without a goodbye you left,
You left with cruel words upon your lips,
Your lips I've always wanted to kiss,
To kiss so tenderly and heartbreakingly,
And heartbreaking is all I feel,
I feel your eyes upon me as I pass,
I pass like we had no past,
Our past was one big lie,
A lie you gratefully tell,
Tell to anyone who will listen,
Listen with open ears,
With open ears I hear,
Hear all the tall tales,
Tales about you and I,
I being the less fortunate,
Fortunate is an antonym for you and I. 


Details | Quatrain | |

Mystic Tinklings

                   Mystic Tinklings


Mystic tinklings
	Ancient echoes from the past
Fleeting inklings
	Glimmer just beyond your grasp

Phantom footfalls
	When you know that you’re alone
Echoed choircalls
	Of a long forgotten song

Shadows slipway
	From the corners of your eye
Darkened hallways
	Hints of time passed by

Brief reflections
	Of things you did not see
Vast collections
	Of the things that used to be


Details | Elegy | |

The Lament For an Angel

All in one faded-black day (but let None forget) In my arms, her body lay (my life was the price to pay) A tragedy, through the lack of humanly shame (do they know pain) My darkly colleen has to suffer no more (Robert nor do you) Let me die (please hear my haunted cries) If I can not see Sophie tonight (live on with my grey) I'm just a mess of despairing words And broken nerves Another mourning, afflicted sight (through decay, love can remain) Solace, sympathy are just more lies She is all I need Until you decide she is just another sadist's toy My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away (My body is amortal, die I may, Together, our hearts will forever stay)


Details | Lyric | |

Who am I

A tribute to Ramana Maharshi, a man who has inspired me for forty years. a greaty Indian saint he was.....Peter




Who Am I?

Sometimes I ask the question “who Am I?”
Am I just this tiny speck put here by trust?
Just a puppet in the hands of destiny
To be blown within the wind just merely dust.

Then sometimes I’m aware of who I am
As I stand beside a lake or waterfall
As the music of the morning melts into me
And deep within that ancient whisper calls.

Well I ask myself this question
“Will I ever find the way?”
Ramana told me what to do
Said “Do it now, today!”

Oh such a little question one may ask
Does the answer come and blow the mind away?
Will the truth arise to set the bird to freedom?
If one asks this thing each minute of the day.


Details | Epitaph | |

My Father, My Friend

Thadd Baker,
Friend, Father,
Husband, Mentor,
Brother, Son,

A life cut short...
A family left to grieve...
Gone but not forgotten...
You are always here with us...


Dad my special friend...
A loss so sudden...
your life brought to a sudden end...


Fear not your memory will not be forgotten...
Your memory will never fade...
We will never forget...
Your star shines bright...

So sail on sailor...
Fair winds & Following seas...


Details | Sonnet | |

THE BOMBING OF DRESDEN

      THE BOMBING OF DRESDEN     
        February 13, 1945
Pathfinders lit the night to show the way
for bombardiers too hungry for the word;
as Dresden's dark was made as light as day,
all hearts were stopped before the blasts were heard;

and as the din was heard by all their ears
the sound it made was not reality
but far removed from all the hopes and fears
and what they thought would never come to be.

They loved the Fuhrer--sin enough for all
to die the fiery death of sweet revenge
brought on by those who had enough of gall
to drop their loads in wartimes heated binge!

       And when the fire consumed all that it could
        the winter of their lives was understood.


Details | Concrete | |

A Written Soldiers Fight

A supreme soldier walks truly alone in the depths of night
he is soft spoken from a life of being so hard that he was stoned until his eyes filled red bloodshot in his sight
he notices what he once thought to be? Was wrong and very far from right
So he asks God for forgiveness from his very own darkness that it may to like his Redemption be shone upon his lost light
He knows its no longer about the bullets in this battle for it is the words in his very own Mind that will matter most in this life among death upon a written soldier's fight.....


Details | Free verse | |

A scorned woman

The abscessed wounds of
a betrayed heart fester 
from desertion and deceit.
.
She takes solitude in shadows
gnawing herself red and raw,
rankling in private torment;
gnashing her teeth.

Until pain and grief turn noxious
with a fury justly sworn
to the retributory scourge 
of a woman's woeful scorn.


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Rhyme | |

Crucifixion

A.W. Nutter

Condemning chants from the crowd
Final resting place growing nearer
Death envelopes, in a dark shroud
Plunging toward the final chapter

Weight of the rough hewn wood
More than a young soul can bear
To many voices, so misunderstood
The sins of the father, mine to fear

Sons and daughters, of the damned
Anxiously awaiting, my crucifixion
Taste for a new soul being fanned
As the priest offers the benediction

Hand forced open, exposing the palm
Three nails, retribution for imagined sin
Tearfully reciting the twenty-third psalm
Screaming as the metal pierces the skin

The holy trinity watching from above
Turn a deaf ear, refusing to intervene
Ignoring the prayers from the dove
As out of control this life careens

Hanging on a cross, life upside down
Suffering through life and eternity my fate
To another hell, a maligned soul is bound
Haunted by memories, devoured by hate


Details | Rhyme | |

Thoughts That Grow Louder

With a whispered thought comes a dream
To be above the shame and guilt
Of losing pride in what would seem,
To most, the whole of what we built.

With a quiet thought comes the fear,
And shadows close the doors of reason.
I see racing frames of pictures clear, 
Rendering unbearable deeds of treason.

With that clear thought, I stand corrected-
So much love has come and gone,
But I, alone, must stay connected 
To what I know and where I belong.


Details | Acrostic | |

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!


Details | Rhyme | |

ELECTION, WHAT ELECTION ???

What's the point in voting
it really dosn't count, 
I thought the highest scorer
knocked the others out.
But no,no, no............
I hear you shout
We are the people
we do not count.
Polititians rule the country
that is really true
They really do not listen
to the likes of me and you.
All this,' let the people have a say'
it's a load of rubbish
We all line up in the rain,
to place our'X' to vote and wish....
But it is all in vain I tell you
they won't let us have our say,
they get us in debt,.. we're up to our neck
they promise us this
And give a smarmy smile
and they promise us that
telling more lies, all the while 
when it comes to delivering, huh.......
I dont think they know how the truth is told
they come out with the same excuses
to come clean with truth,...... they're not that bold
Hung parliment...huh
I know who we'd like to hang
Guy Faulks had the right idea
send Parliament up with a 'Bang'


Details | Free verse | |

Lucky to be a Simple Man

One reads about the famous ones, them
that live a life of stress, about taking
all sorts of pick-me-up-pills
then downers, so they can rest.

Well I’m just an ordinary guy with nothing
to call my own, but life to me is still up
and down without the use
of any poison of a sort.

The movie stars worry about their movies,
the recording artists just the same, big
Businessman thinking of his next
contract, the player of his next game.

Some days I’m on top of the world
the next deep in its abyss, so I just
sit and write poetry that gathers
in and around my head.
(Then just worry about them that worry.)


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

WET DREAMS

        WET DREAMS
I know not why your love's evading me
nor what to do, so that your heart can see,
my passion grows no matter what I do
and makes my heart to keep on loving you
though all it's brought is pure insanity;

in dreams I've wept, but kept on loving you
and tears, they flow, no matter what I do,
I tried to take my burning love in hand
but it's a thing my heart can't understand,
and sleep won't tell what love is coming to;

if I could dream the dream both night and day
I'd spend my life just sleeping where I lay
and waking from the dream in burning sweat,
I lie content, and feel my hand is wet
from love you've given me, in your own way.
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa


Details | Rhyme | |

Life Doesn't Have To Be So Bad

I can still hear the strumming of your mesmerizing guitar
And your soft, angelic voice captures me afar
I miss the times we used to dance around on the balcony in joy
As you would laugh and talk about every hot middle school boy
I remember the night you despondently sang me a song
In the pouring rain, the pulse of your spirit flew till the break of dawn 
Your guitar still rings alive…then my heart feels dead
And I know that it’s just the sickening voices inside my head
When we were younger I would marvel at your unremitting beauty
We’d play our little games; I’d make you laugh when I had the opportunity
Ronnie would come storming in and we’d get all upset
Taking our Bratz dolls to “deer world” Haha…that I’ll never forget

And now you’ve come back to me after all these tears and fears
Maybe we’ll start over and catch up on all the dissipated years
Maybe you’ll play the guitar and bring back the beat of your beatific spirit
To sew back this heart of mine—heh, you’ve always had the knack to cure it
Though we never lost contact, I felt so freaking alone
Without your music, without your spirit, in the darkness I would roam
I love you very much and you know I always will
After all, you were my first friend…you know the drill
Though I never really expressed how much I appreciate everything we had
Though you’ve been through some crap, life doesn’t have to be so bad
Because I have you and I know your sun will always shine through
Because I was the moon, and your rays and strums kept me out of the blue


Details | Free verse | |

Find My Place

For awhile, I thought I had.

New love. 
New dreams. 
New smiles.

Letting go, the small things that hurt.

They are tiny compared to past, trashed confidence.

Never quite finding my true place in the equation.
Maybe the answer is stuck in some ugly , frothing  math book, somewhere.
If so, I won't look there.
Why bother.

I am made of heart.
My only thinking muscle.

Whether beating with joy or pain,
it's beat is reliable.
Consistent.
Safe.

My only true measure of my own reality.

Even broken, it is less painful than letting it rely on misguided thoughts.
Feeling lost, while watching agendas, that seem to be the norm.

Other people's norms..........not mine.

I will never understand the meaning of "self first".
I have lived my life for others, since the day I cried at birth.
Abandoned.

My birth, an inconvenience to a womb.

My existence, to make a childless couple happy.
A friend, to soften the blows of life for the masses.
A Mother, to succeed and fail.
A lover, to give and give and give.

A spirit to fly.
A soul, to yearn.
A body to tire.

Watching simple selfishness, destroy our world.
Reaching with an open, soft hand.....just to so narrowly miss, sharing a loving 
touch.
A touch, that might have saved a sightless and misunderstood, silent innocent.

We stay in the background.
We have been conditioned by our own experiences, our own shortcomings, our 
passive tears.

A balance, perhaps?
To keep the equation from tipping over the universal rhythms?

I feel it.
Heavy, with doubts of belonging.

Wondering how the self absorbed agendas of the stronger minds, stay crisp.
No illusive smudges.
Never wilting.

No room for throwing the afore said agendas, into the hammock overviews, of a 
rotated picture.

Find my place?

I'm probably on a list, somewhere.


Details | Free verse | |

My name is Catastrophe

Hell hath no replete replica like an Ohiohell
memom memoboys dispelled with lovelessloss lorn laments
measured in misgiven gravid neutral grautities of cool compromised cruel
capsid cascades of dreary demented drowsy dump deep demented deny desires
with wilfull wallowing in unsupposed not to be here
herein two boys born to a numbnuts army husbodad and a 
WTF what is happening in/outside this family 50's acircle
what comes next in the uneducated female nonintuition of a
deaddad accidential with a pity piss payoff and a whatdoIdo anal attitude
totally in reverse of an arkansas hope of upheaveal. GDMFSOB, who could I/we haVE
BeeN in the assinine scheme of things with someone in an intersomewhateducated semistate of minimal MFconsciousness. We play the hand we are dealt in the vast unscheme of unness. 
WTF, and where/why does God take part and lessen a small boy's dream of donated dadhood by taking it away and leave him left to faulterflounder in a boyhood abyss. Dead, devoid, denied to the manmale circumstance of what the future folds to be delivered to doting descendents, like my three sons. with whom I struggled to 
shower, impart, enable, enbibe, instill, foster, enliven, and all that I did not experience yet faux provide with an inner soulsense to a measured milestone of mannered man manufactured love and tendered texture of all mine to give with that that is mustered macro from a micro counteanace of humocapped coperal deliverance. All's fair they say unless u have been there and then it's every man for himself---and then, I dare u to get in my way---------no holds barred, look out for I am a survivor, all the way.   
Hi, my name is Dave, and according to my grandparents, I wasn't supposed to live to be raised. Go figure.


Details | Haiku | |

A Sister's Love

A sister should see
the atrocities
and help attain sanity


Details | Free verse | |

Losing pieces

Oh, how I miss the dead…

... the softness in their voices
That I cannot recreate,
the warmth of their silence
Where now only cold remains;

And I know, oh how I know
That they are long gone
And I have been long removed
From those fuller times
But still, when I feel around my heart
I find that it is missing things
Parts long lost and dearly missed,
And I sit here feeling fatally incomplete
And I know-  that I can never be whole again.

But I still miss the dead,
And I miss the times
When I never knew
That I would live on
Missing the days when I was whole…

-So I still miss the dead
And the times when I was not hollowed by loss
Living every day with a lighter heart
So far from the times
 	when I would never be whole again.

And now, so far removed
from fuller times,
These few missing holes
they let in a chill wind
And somehow, these missing holes
they leave my heart heavy
And I know that it will grow heavier yet,
But I dread
That when I am lost
I die not just incomplete
But empty-
	Empty of all I could yet lose.


Details | Free verse | |

Love, Death, and Rebirth

The signs started in December
When she started waking up in tears each night
She was a normal girl with dark brown hair and darker brown eyes
She had plenty of friends and a loving family with just one thing missing
Her father. 

Days passed by and turned into weeks but only felt like a few seconds
Her life just whizzed by faster and faster until it was just a whirr in front of her eyes
Darkness filtered into her heart and mind until she didn't know if she could go on
But she had to. She couldn't let her mother and her sister drown in this same pain
She wouldn't let them.

She pushed all the darkness into the depths of her own heart
In hopes to save the hearts of the two people she had left
Because what else was there to live for now?
The rest of her world had crashed and her mother and sister was all that was left 
She wouldn't let them drown in pain too. 

She watched as they started to heal in her loving arms
Their hearts started to lighten up once more
But hers was just as dark as it was before 
And growing darker day by day 
But she wouldn't let that stop her. 

Suddenly a year had passed... and then two 
It only seemed like seconds to her but everyone else started moving on
Her mother and sister no longer needed her nurturing care
But she needed someone to hold on to
Anyone...

With nothing left for her to take control of, the dark pushed past her boundries 
It found a way into her soul
Until all she could see was dark and no light 
But her mother and sister were healed now
They didn't understand

The tears came back and engulfed her soul
Bit by bit until she wasn't sure why she was still alive
The grief took over like knives 
Piercing her skin over and over and over
It hurt so much.

She started to wonder what it'd look like to be dead
She could see him again if she was
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to endure this pain?
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to live knowing she'd never see him again?
It would.

So she started to hate herself
All that negative energy was starting to take toll
Everyone around her was breathing while she suffocated more and more by the second
She wished she'd just choke already instead of living in constant pain
If no one would put her out of her misery, she'd have to do it herself

She couldn't see any light anymore
So she grabbed the pill bottle off the shelf and just hoped it wouldn't take long to die
Deep down she still had a spark of light, but she just couldn't find it 
And now it was too late in her mind to change, to turn back and try to look deeper
She was done living.

That's when people started to notice that everything wasn't as peaceful as it seemed
They started to see how deeply depressed she had become
They wanted to help her see the light again before it was too late 
So they sent her away to see doctors and to take pills to make everything better
It was a start.

She didn't see a change at first but suddenly she could think clearly
Maybe what they were doing was actually going to help her see the light again
Yes, she still wanted to die, but maybe that wasn't the only option anymore
They cared,  and behind all their own problems they were trying to understand
They really were trying

Six months longer she would be treated and cared for
Until suddenly she was sent home from her treatment and care with a smile on her face
She had a new perspective
Someone had helped her ignite that spark in her heart until it was a glowing ember
She had been reborn

Sometimes you have to be able to experience the worst of it
To come back shining brighter than before
And if she had died that cold day in October, she wouldn't of ever seen the best of it
Or known that it would get better
and it did!

And she now sits at her laptop, with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart
It's never been an easy road and it won't ever be
But at least she knows she's lived through the worst
And it can only get better from here

So whenever she feels lonely or gets back into that dark spot again
She can look back on what she's learned and can read this poem
And remember that she survived the darkest depths of depression
And she will continue to survive it as long as she lives
Because she is stronger now than she ever was before ?


Details | Elegy | |

Where are you

You flourished and blurred
like a spark on wind

Gracefully and quickly like a frightened hind
in pursuit of light

You harvested through bushy meadows
taken by blight

In struggle with plight
had you lost your might

And gave out
although never you gave up.

Where are you?
For you must be still there.

For I still can feel you
somewhere in the air.


Details | Burlesque | |

The Impatient Patient

Today's true tom tale;

Today was Dr. day at the clinic
I ended up the day quite a cynic
I'd been awake three days,
With a toothache and pain that slays
My jagged teeth cutting up my tongue
And the promise of help to which I clung
For no more of this pain could I endure,
I desperately did seek some kind of cure

Appointment at 2:15- told the taxi 1:30
I knew the fib was a tad dirty...
"Hedge the bet" one might say,
Sad to think one must be that way,
Of course in this case he showed up at 1PM
And I was in the waiting room at 1:15
Fastest response I'd ever seen.

So I sat in the waiting room as
Clerical shifts came and went
My patience seemed nearly spent

At last I was escorted to an examining room,
To sit and ponder my future doom...
For over an hour I sat there,
Reading all the posters on the wall,
About various diseases,
Soon I had them all!
Cervical cancer,
Malignant volvulus,
Infected ovaries,
Fibroid tumors in my uterus,
A glumaceous gluteus,
Obstructed bowels,
Deviated septum
Leukemia,
Anemia, edemia
Enlarged prostate,
Shrunken prostate
Eczema, Lupus
Leprosy.....
All these for me!

I hoped he didn't keep me 
waiting too much longer,
Surely I wasn't getting stronger....
I'd be dead in ten more afflictions
If he could not cure all these conditions.

I felt my life force start to fade
Look at what these posters made!
Surely life was slipping away,
I couldn't stand,
I began to sway.

In he finally came,
Suddenly I did not feel
the same,
I might survive the day after all,
My approaching death grew
rather small.

Next time, bring a book,
For in terms of time,
It hardly took,
Much time to catch
All these ills,
Or at least come in,
With made out wills.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Social Norm

Drink the drink, and take the pills, lay on the medication.
But your soul's forever lost to them without persistent dedication.
There's things we've learned, and things we will, to decide us right from wrong.
But your ears are only open, now, to a techno-logic song.
Social norms have bound you tight, then cut you awf'ly deep.
And still your soul beneath the surface begs of you, relief.
You waded in their welcome waters, thought it nice and cool
But now I'm sure you've figured out you're lost in sorrows pool
So take it from who knows you best
Someone who has passed this test:

Before you drift out in the sea And the shore's no longer in your view, I promise that I'll bring you back And if I can't, I'll follow you. Before your legs and arms grow weak And you've passed your final tier, I promise that I'll hold your hand; I promise you I'll still be here. Before your lungs are filled with water And our souls are parted once again, I promise you that you're forgiven; I promise you I'm still your friend. Before you close your sunken eyes Inviting night to kill the day Know your bright was never slight And soon you'll see your way.


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

IN YOUR BLUE EYES

         IN YOUR BLUE EYES
You speak to me in tones of black and gray
and I give in to what your blue eyes say
your pictures tell it all, I have to cry
and die the death that's with me night and day.

I reach into the deepest part of you
and lose my soul there in your eyes so blue
not caring that I'm lost or even why
but only that my dreams are coming true.

You bring me peace then tear my world apart
destroying all I've been right from the start
there in your blue eyes I am glad to die
and go there in your blue eyes to your heart.


Details | Rhyme | |

Black and White

You’ve maddened me to the core 
You singed me with your ferocious fire
We’re opposites… we’ll never integrate  
We can’t blend with each other…
Your love and I’m hate 
We’re contrary to each other…

So don’t even think about 
Getting us back together 
Because without a doubt, 
We don’t click with each other…

So let us go our own way…

Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices 
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to be deleted from my mind…

I’m not the one that should pay the price
You act as if you’re an angel from heaven
But, you’re a fiend…a devil from hell...who needs your advice?
Could someone unchain me from this prison?

So let us prepare for that day…

Fear and bewilderment build inside of our minds
Taking over us…we’re wasting valuable time
Terror and wrath injects into our veins…time starts to unwind 
I’m regaining my glory…this moment feels so sublime  

You think you’re innocent?
I can sense your guilt…bleeding through you
Do you live to feed me anguish? 
Don’t deny it…you crafty demon…no wonder I feel blue

Let’s get ready for battle…
I’ll watch you decay…
IT’S PAY BACK TIME . . .
Taste my fury and my agony 

Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices 
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to be defeated…

I scream before nightfall
I close my eyes to kiss my demise
I want to disappear 
Scratch away my desolation
Wipe away my tears…
Spewing out of my eyes…like a waterfall
Tonight, there will be dismay
There will be suffering 
After sundown…
Failure and glory will expose like stars in the midnight sky
Who will earn the crown? 
No one knows in silent wars – who can reveal the light in goodbye
  
Why are we black and white?
Are you too afraid to know the reason why? 

Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices 
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to suffer alone…


Details | Ballad | |

Living my dream

Living my dream

I had one dream when I was young
To go to another land
In life I wasn’t satisfied
I wanted something grand
Lions, tigers. Kangaroos
And all those wild, wild beasts
Africa, South America
Or Australia at least.

Possessive Mother was my curse
How could I get away?
Every time I mentioned it
She had so much to say
And made me feel so guilty
Really cramped my style
And then one day there came along
Something to make me smile

I’d just turned my nineteenth year
When this great girl came along
She hailed from West Australia
And filled my heart with song
So we got married, had some kids
And here we are in Oz
Been here for half a century
And I came here all because

It was my fate to find this girl
She was my destiny
There’s be a whisper in the skies
That knows how things will be
It takes one’s soul, and leads it on
So growth, it might occur
And I know that west Australia
My heart, it sure does stir.

4 August 2013 @ 1440hrs.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Don't Care

I Don't Care...


I don't care,
if you're battered black and blue,

I don't care,
just as long as I can drink and screw.



I don't care,
if you've lost your damn job,

I don't care,
you're just a kernel off the cob.



I don't care,
when I see you begging in the street,

I don't care,
I get to suckle on capitalism's raw teat.



I don't care,
about the elderly, the poor, or the weak,

I don't care,
if the earth will be inherited by the meek.



I don't care,
if the climate is warming, I'm so much cooler,

I don't care,
in my penthouse I'm the boss, the only ruler.



I don't care,
for those rolling for scraps in the muck,

I don't care,

I really don't care, cos' I don't give a f**k



inspired by Bob Geldof's "The Great Song of Indifference"


Details | Free verse | |

'Twisted Reality'



"life can be warped into new beginnings, when you least expect it"

somber and dark the mood 
embracing the abyss of his thoughts 

twisted images of reality 
engrossed in truth 
lurking beyond the light 

afraid –
reality seems too dark 
maybe the light is the other way 

too far to turn back 
no crossroads in sight 

"stick with what you know" the voice said 

what if I don't know anything? 
where to now? 
lurking beyond the light 

afraid 
always 
afraid 

everything so twisted 
emotions, 
life, 
even his heart... 

twisted images of reality 
engrossed in truth

Contest Name: A Poem, Please
By: Wilma N. Neels
100820111135


Details | Ballad | |

You're Just A Stranger

Why do you despise me
why can't you let me be,
how come you always pestering me.
How come you can not see
I am beginning to turn my love away from thee
Just as you are turning your hate on me.

I proceed biting my words back 
and just nodding my head
you think i am the one to blame
but you'll end up losing me instead.
I try to talk to you, but you
cut me out and shut your ears
where will this get us
in fifteen or so years.
 
You bring down the pressure
while i try to do as you say
Only until i lose, you win
will you stop yelling and walk away.

Here i sit, expressing my stress on paper
only hoping tomorrow will bring
something better
and that i won't lose my life forever.
Please forgive me 
for this paper may be wet with tears
I know this is a stage in life,
I pray will pass in a few years. 

As i write my anger fades
but when i think about you it returns
I hope we both learn from this
For I may lack empathy
but you are always so very stern.
It seems everything I do
has gotten on your nerves
And I know you don't hold it inside
For your anger does surly splurge.

Tonight you have taken my phone
and cut me off from my friends I truly need
your words hit me hard,
and to you I can not plead.
Someday I may realize
what you did was probably right
I will try to understand,
I will try with all my might.
But until that day
or until through my eyes you see,
You are still a stranger
You're just a stranger to me.

Nov. 21. 2011


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

To a Dead Man

You Drive me into this Malice, into this Maze I can only see the last of days Your Creation Failed With Me Burn with malice as you bridge to the plains of ennui


Details | Rhyme | |

The Park -- Part One

Pigeons flutter in the park
eating refuse from the grass.
Noon comes; the hours pass.
Leaves fall; the sky grows dark.
Silence reigns throughout the park.
A crumpled headline, a forgotten toy,
lifeless, do not hear a far-off bark.
In the park, not a single little boy.
Midnight comes; the hours go --
soon, the sky begins to glow...
morning breaks, and with it, sound.
In the park begins the morning round.
White skeletons of benches -- slats --
in all the wintry parks of Age
fill up in morning. Deserted flats,
each with the aspect of a cage,
become an unused, waiting gauge
that measures dull and wasted years --
floods of loneliness -- rivers of fears...
The weak and battered, pallid crowd
which, daily, parks ingest
speak in muted tones; but loud
is the message all suggest.
The clangor of the beaten Belles,
trampled in the slime of years,
entreats the mind to plug its ears;
yet, if it will, it hears...
memories, perhaps, keep active still
the shriveled and the loosened flaps
that are the mouths of all the Bills --
reduced to gray and ugly gaps...
Down the graveled pathways come
children bent on carefree play.
Belles, though silent, are not dumb,
nor will the Bills forego their say.
But warnings fall on ears too deaf;
around are eyes too blind to see.
And so the tots, too young for Death,
play on and on till time for tea.
Day after day after day
children come and children play.
Pigeons flutter in the park;
Leaves fall; the sky grows dark.
Once more, deep silence claims the park.
Midnight hours come and go.
The sky again assumes a glow.
Wind stirs dead leaves to rustle.
Starts again the aimless bustle
of the battered, weak, and infirm-eyed:
those whom living failed -- who died
but still must play their signal role
of unloved, friendless, unhailed Old;
who gather daily in the park
to envy tots their vital spark --
the hope, the promise in their eyes --
before it fades, before it dies.
But tots at play -- the young, the bold --
must laugh and sing -- cannot be told
that youth's not long and Time is cold.
Time devours -- a ravenous beast --
and men are the courses at his feast.
Some he swallows in their prime,
 On some he waits too long a time:
 these rancid morsels, Time's midnight snack,
explore their memories. They hie them back
 to that old moment, deepest black, 
when they first dared to know -- and first said --
that Time's the master all men dread.
(Please read The Park -- Part Two, which is a continuation of
this poem...due to space limitations)


Details | Narrative | |

If Only Tears Could Feed Them

have you ever went days without food?
long seemingly ceaseless nights 
as you hear the rumble
(like thunder in small ears) of bellies not filled

these tears I shed are wasted 
for they don’t feed the hungry 

in all the mourning lies a bittersweet fruitlessness
with its empty anguish poured on solemn streets
though I cry tears anyhow….pouring hot from my lids 
like tequila burns the throat of  a boy

this sympathy is wasted….for they still go unfed
though at night I wail at the injustice of it all…
(a bit like shouting into a deafened wind)

all my sorrow for those poverty stricken
poor little children with swollen bellies
and big sad starving eyes rips and shreds at my heart
pounding like a raging river on my congested chest
as I strive for some peace from the rampaging agony
of each little life that is uselessly lost 
                                        (slipped to a bitter dust)

yet….they still go without food…..my wailing did not end this….

a big deep well of darkness uncoils and envelops me
yes I cry….I weep crocodile tears in my solitude
(fat lot of good that does)
shaking what are fragile fists toward a sky unfeeling
and less than listening to the plight of these unfortunate
who drown in their destitution ….

it takes souls and tatters them
shredding lives with a razor sharp machete

but….I am fed….aren’t I?
and all the lamenting is pointless….isn’t it?
if they still go another night hearing the rumble
of hollow stomachs and brick wall barriers….

these tears I shed are wasted……yet…I cry them anyway
if only tears could feed them…



Details | Ballad | |

The storm

The storm

The sky above was filled right up
With big, black, monstrous clouds
The thunder hit the blackened skies
His voice so very loud
Forked all across the morning skies
Fiery fingers streak on out
Then the thunder rumbles loud and strong
And rain is all about

Oh how that rain came teeming down
Just like it’s on a mission
To wash away the whole damned earth
As with her quiet precision
Mother Nature puts the pressure on
To warn us human souls
Of the damage she could do
With the power in her role

The rain, It pours down onto me
But I don’t feel a thing
I’m covered by my wetland gear
And my heart begins to sing
For me, I love these thunder storms
With all their mighty power
Though some on seeing all this drama
Would hide away and cower.


17 August 2013 @ 1708hrs.


Details | Free verse | |

The Storm

And the storm calls to me in ways you'll never understand
A gentle call that urges my soul forth
The lighting guiding a path for my feet to walk
Between the stones and ash of all that once was
I stand in the echoing silence of the rain 
It drops down upon my skin like the blessing waters of heaven
Soothing me, lifting the weight from my body 
I feel at once as if I am home
Standing amid two dimensions 
Caught between two skies - here and there
The night wraping around me in warmth
The gentle wind lifting me off my feet
Drops from the clouded moon washing away my body
and I am left just a soul, an essence 
The storm calls me forth from beneath my roof
Beckoning me into its depth 
I stand among the reeds in the basin 
They dance and sway as if welcoming me
And I sway with them back 
Caught up in the power that charges the air
That threatens to sweep me away 
If the ground will just loosen its hold
The thunder rumbles a low welcoming growl
And I get pleasently lost within it
I am so small compared to its vastness
I close my eyes and succumb to the skies wishes
Rising higher until my feet no longer touch the ground 
My fingertips touch the liquid color of the stars
A sigh drifts from my lips
There is no need of thought to stay afloat
There is no demand to breathe in air
No crushing weight upon my chest
As my lungs struggle to survive
There are no struggles here
I make my bed on blackened clouds
And give in to the call
The storm has claimed me as its own 
It was such a struggle to stay upon the ground
When the storm would call me home


Details | Rhyme | |

The Pencil Sharpener

I, the sleeper and dreamer
Wish for your end
Is it wrong, blasphemer?
Should I break, should you bend?

I sharpen your demise on a pencil sharpener
Peeling you away….reaching your core of lead
Should I break or should you bend?
Or can’t I just wish for my end?

There’s knives protruding from your eyes
The eyes I know are dead
The blasphemer you are will reveal where your body lies
Beneath your core of lead

I found you among the disposables
Wishing for my end
I blasphemed you and you just gave back
My pencils burning with lead

I screamed as you pierced through me
I felt it in my soul!
But I’m to blame for this masterpiece
I sharpened you with gold!

The shavings fall upon the ground
And still this dream moves on
Pierced, I fall without a sound
Until the break of dawn

I, the sleeper and dreamer 
Am still pierced to this day
So I hand the pencil sharpener to you
And pray you’ll be with me 


Details | Free verse | |

Blood Drips From Walls

A scream stretches out into the night
A desperate call heard but with guilt ignored
An echoing beacon of another battle commence
As neighbours run to their bunkers to escape its call
As blood drips from walls

In separate tombs
Two children wait in line
Hoping and praying they won't reach the head this time
Dreading what raised voices and familiar shouts will bring
As they desperately hide beneath timid sheets
That had always failed to provide cover they need
As blood drips from walls

A mother throws herself into the line of fire
Desperate to protect her kids from his fists full of anger
For she knows if she's not there where next he will turn
As her blood drips from walls

Plates, cups, glass become the bullets
In a battle for the kitchen door
Whilst trapped inside for now her children's safety she is sure
As blood drips from walls

Drink the finger on the trigger held
Cruel words the shrapnel that went so deep
Every punch of his fist the mighty bomb
That tempted fate to end this once and for all
As blood drips from walls

The excited barking dog
Becomes the friendly fire
As her arms try to block the punches
The dog bites into what he doesn't know
A scream of pain for a moment sets still time
As blood drips from walls

Two children shudder as the ambulance pulls up outside
The flashing lights a breeze of hope dancing on their bedroom ceilings
Just maybe somebody might come and take them now
Guilty in their selfish need as they feared for their mother loved
As blood drips from walls

But as they drifted into exhausted sleep
Freed for a night from his rage as he sat and feared losing all he controlled
In a hospital room their mother retreated into a lie
Surrendered all of them to many years more
Because more than she feared the war
She was terrified of the loneliness from losing his love
Believing every time he told her you're not good enough
As blood drips from walls


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

SOMETHING FOR TODAY

     SOMETHING FOR TODAY
The morning lights and to another day
a pirate's chest you've found but will not stay
for longer than the blinking of your eye
from troubled sleep to wake wherein you die

through every ticking second where you are
as dense and far away as any star
you sit and let your life and time run out
and have become what others talk about

from time to time you'll always hear a clue
between each word that's meant for only you
coincidental to what you have seen
you take it in as what each word must mean

and this will guide you through the whole day long
as certain as the hearing of Our Song
just at the proper timing of your need
and then your thought will soar, it has been freed

you cling to it and make it what must be
the fabric of your life and prophesy
and it will carry you from here to there
into another day that goes no where.
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa


Details | Rhyme | |

The Bully Part 1

The Bully

27 Years ago, you showed me the door,
Because I wouldn’t do what you wanted anymore.
That day was the worst of my life,
I wanted to die, to escape the strife.
All I needed was a simple letter,
To give me a chance to get better.
Now when I look back and see, you certainly did
 me a favour that day.
In 1986 Thursday the first of May.
From then on people listened to what I had to say,
Doctors and Nurses went out or their way,
I got the treatment I needed at last,
Bit by bit they went over the past.
One whole year is all it took,
A lot of hard work, a little luck.
To this very day I have never been back,
26 whole years and that’s a fact.
The last few years have been the best of my life,
Truly content being a Mother and Wife.
And Nanny as well,
Must not let my head swell,
A collection of poems all written by me..
My story in 7 magazines for the whole world to see.
A whole new extension to the house designed by me.
Also having to cope with the death of my mother,
Then four months later the death of my mother’s sister,
God not another.
Having my kitchen demolished completely,
did put me in a fix.
But being so well, even that couldn’t knock me for six.
So remember the next time someone begs you for a letter,
At least give THEM, the chance to get better.
For as long as I live I will never for get that terrible day,
Thursday 1986 the first of May,
The day that you showed me the door,
Just because I wouldn’t do what you wanted anymore.
They say that time heals all pain,

I’m lucky I’ve learnt to live again.







Details | Free verse | |

More Snippets

I. Bleeding -- a world without comfort -- lost without love -- no destination... silently walk without touching wounds... where is love? II. Frail fingers grope... sodden afternoons... winter fog... through gray eternity -- cold eyes, delicious mouth. Found love will laugh, desire returning. III. Making love, we deceived ourselves. Complicitors, we lied. Compliant pawns, we defied danger, practiced brilliant fabrication -- but truth was stranger. IV. Others know desire: ever changing years -- and lifetimes -- reaching towards the moon. Love, be my way.


Details | Free verse | |

Life in Cubicle

The Noose is tightening.
The 5’s and 10’s yanked from our hands and aching backs 
Are spent on band-aids:
A last stand effort to plug the holes in our hearts
When the price of drowning is only getting higher
So we turn to tiny acts of thievery
Taxes prettied up, cashiers uncorrected,
Stealing at the edges because we’re backed into corners, 
Corners
Glittering with promises corners
Dripping with possibility,
With Island resort wallpaper
Sold in bulk at Wal-Mart for
Profit: A trail of crumbs called America-
Which has curdled our souls and we love it!
And hate it and gossip about it and think obsessively about it and then
We find the most expensive friends our looks can afford,
Shopping for substance (50% off)
Staring through the eye of a screen 
Light speed in pursuit of heaven on earth (Ignore the plastic)-
Until pop!
We die of ADHD. 
Never having had the chance to smell the genetically modified roses.
Never having had the chance to see through this kingdom of ideas
As we served out our sentence to life in cubicle.

Jacob Reinhardt
10/24/2013


Details | Narrative | |

When

It was only supposed to last a little while. 
The pain I suffered was temporary. 
You promised you would fix it. 
Oh and fix me you did.

I hate you for what I have become.
Tired. Lazy unable to work. 
You created this monster of pain
Inside my head. 
It never goes away.

But you were the lucky soul. 
Your death was quick and painless.
Leaving behind those who mourn.
But I am not one of them. 
I wish you all that you deserve.

I have something now that I cannot change.
This damage to nerves, and numbness and pain.
My life has become a struggle. 
I compete with pain each day.
Sometimes I lose. Occasionally I win

It never leaves this pain you made. 
I wonder how many more.
You destroyed like me.
So powerful being a surgeon. 
To hold someone's life in your hands.

sickness, depression, anger


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | Lyric | |

Forever Changed

June 18, 2013 our world was Forever Changed
We where over halfway home
When we got the call from our baby sister

Said we need to get back home
We need to come as fast as we can drive
Mom really needs us
Something’s wrong with Daddy
The whole way we drove 80
Hoping & Praying we’d make it in time

Our Family & Friends were weeping 
By the time we got to his side
We knew our Daddy had been taking
And our hearts they were breaking
We never got to say Goodbye
We each softly kissed that man
We four sisters climbed in his bed 
We laid down beside him 
And cried just like babies
For our world was Forever Changed 
 
 


Details | Rhyme | |

WHY

WHY


 Why you did, what you did, I will never know,

Why you put me through so much pain and hurt me so,

You obviously had your reasons,

but then I didn't know what they were,

Now since I found out,

the pain has been even harder to bear,

You sold me down the river,

knowing I couldn't even swim,

Only you and I know,

you committed the cardinal sin,

You broke me, you destroyed me,

my spirit and my soul,

How was I ever going to fight back,

to reach the unreachable goal?,

But just like Humpty Dumpty, who had a great fall,

I had to learn all over again to walk tall,

I found a handful of people, to help put me back together again.

to help wipe out the misery, the suffering, the pain,

So I could get on with my life and start living again.

 					
	                                        


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

To a Bride Without a Name

Oh Flora, Choral Beauty The Sun Rises With You Out of An Abyss of Chaos, Yet No Piece of Beauty Is Lost I Can't Grant You Nobility, But Our Love's Vitality Will Last Till The Gates of Hades's Halls They Will Push, They Will Pull, And Their Power Will Grow Just To Have A Piece of Our Love's Immortality For It They Cannot Wait Subdued By Desperation's Phantom But I Will Always Be One of Them So, My Dear, Please Understand I'm Just A Chevalier Drenched With My Sins The Hope Will Fade The Rose Will Turn Black The Promise Was Just I Lie, Though I Forbade I Will Just Be Another Empty Heart, Slain By Your Loosening Grip On My Sanity I Will Die, You Will Be Free Believe - It's The Way Things Must Be My Dear, Just Understand


Details | Rhyme | |

This Poem

i write this poem to pass away the time
to make me forget that loving her was a crime
i sit here and type these endless awkward rhymes
to help me cope during the darkest of times
 
i write this poem to help my mind forget
to stop my eyes from crying, from getting wet
stop tears that flows when i am upset
i wish that she and i had never met
 
i write this poem because its all i can do
with a heart so sad, a life that's so blue
i wish that my love for her wasn't true
i wish i could live a life that is different and new
 
i write this poem that does not make any sense
about a feeling that is so hopelessly intense
i write it without even a trace of pretense
this is my last stand, my last line of defense
 
i write this poem to bid her goodbye
to my existence she will always be the reason why
though to my messages she won't reply
i will always love her until the day i die


Details | Rhyme | |

I'm a child again

I’m a child again

I’m a child again and it’s such fun
To kick a ball, and laugh, and run
And walk down to the local park
And being bad, oh, what a lark

I love to watch those colored birds
This always kind of gets me stirred
Their lovely hues, my eyes they daze
These lovely birds do me amaze.

But there is one thing that I do hate
At bath times, fuss I do create 
And mum and dad, they get real mad
I suppose I do play up a tad.

And also I do hate that school
With all its daft, and silly rules
But when I write my little stories
That’s when I get my share of glory.

But really, If I had the choice
I’d really like to raise my voice
And tell them ‘I want out of this!!
Being a child gives me no bliss!’

27 August 2013 @ 1722hrs.


Peter Duggan. You're a kid again contest...Age ten


Details | Light Poetry | |

Mr anxiety man knocked on your door



Mr. Anxiety man knocked on your door,
you opened, and there he was. 
You slammed the door and then you realize he was still there. 
He looked you in the eye, he watched you run, 
you tried to hide. 
Your heart almost stopped, 
you tried to scream, 
but your anxiety made you freeze. 
You have faced the beast before, 
but now before you managed to close the door, 
he got his foot inside, again. 
You closed your eyes and feelings, 
to tell yourself that this is just your imagination, 
your mind is just playing with you, but for you it's real! 
You feel that he comes creeping up from behind and takes over you body, 
your body starts to shiver as if he were a ghost, 
your internal fights resumes, you fight for your life inside. 
This is all his fault, the Mr. Anxiety man! 
You are blaming him for that your tears taste so salty. 
He transforms the finest rose to a faded stalk. 
You will kill him in the end, you're just not ready yet. 
Then it will be quiet again. 
You've killed him once before!
Shhhh!


Laila Andresen Mjelde


entered Gail Doyle's contest Stranded or A Ghost Story Of Your Choice Any horror movie!!!


Details | Ballad | |

The Forgotten Ones

Forgotten somewhere in the midst of steel and concrete. 
Bound by shackles and chains even in our sleep. 
Living like wolves preying amongst lost sheep. 
Concrete tears and pains so mindfully deep. 

Forgotten by those on the outside. 
We cant even run no where, we cant even hide. 
No choice left but to sit and fight. 
In here only the strong minded survive. 
Truth be told in here what is wrong is right. 

All most os us got is wasted M&^*&F*^&&ng time. 
We sit back and work out and write heartfelt rhymes. 
Not to be a victim of prey we all trying. 
Many stories are told, songs are written of truth over lying. 

We are gone for the moment but not truly forgotten so the hurt we must not show it.
 We are to old while we young to be crying in front of full grown men for this is a time we must out grow it.
 There aint no way out this hell hole and we all know it. 
Feelings of hopelessness surrounds te heart to the point where we can no longer control it.
 
In here there is only time no fun. 
Darkness fills night no light shone in here from the sun. 
Only by our own selves we may be out done. 
BECAUSE IN HERE IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE TRULY THE FORGOTTEN ONES....


Details | Ballad | |

The Alien

The Alien.
                           
"Here's the village Idiot
Here comes the loony fool"
So many taunts did follow him
Oh kids can be so cruel!
The Alien, his face all cowed
With caution treads his way
As the gossip done, invades him every day.

He's a shade too short on mighty brawn
He's a pilgrim of the soul
He's a Sailor floating through his dreams
And he has no worldly goals
And when those kids kicked footy balls
And swore and carried on
The alien got lost  within his own song.

He's been told that he be nothing
By so many through the years
And now his body broken
Still wading in his fears
The wings have made to open up
So the butterfly may rise
And so the mighty Phoenix 
must head he for the skies.

Dec 22 2003.


Details | Free verse | |

Skin


This night, I am trapped behind a face. 
My eyes are barred with tears that blur 
the look in them I would like so much for you to see.
I try a different face, one that splits into a smile at the lips
but the teeth are whitewashed, and they encage
a voice—a song—a story—that needs air to breathe.
Anger means I must glower, perhaps brighten my 
pale cheeks with artificial colors. Who was it 
that said blood within must always be crimson?
I choose laughter next, but I am tired of my own laugh;
it has stayed the same for countless years
and the sound is so distant that I cannot hear it 
from deep down there inside my heart. 
This night, I cannot bear this face I wear
for it is too small a field for my emotions to play.
There are lips, red again, meant for speech
but the words I utter must always be of some language,
one or another I must choose amongst the millions
made by these same lips in revolutionary times. 
There are eyes, “windows”, they have always been called
but the cutting winds have long since deprived 
them of their original clarity—now they are clouded, dull, 
and always cleansed back to nothingness by constant tears.
This night, I cannot bear this face I wear. 

So I plunge my fingers into the skin, tearing it away,
feeling the wind scream and rush into the vast space,
swirling down the tunnel toward that heart at the bottom
that is thumping with anxiety; it has long awaited this day.
A day of freedom, a day to shoot up into view, 
when nothing is contorted and fitted into words, 
tears, smiles, sounds, colors…. 
My faceless face gapes at the night sky, where stars 
hold together another faceless face,
and the feelings, tangled and ripe, ripe from all the anticipation
shout and hurtle upwards like a pack of angels.


Details | Free verse | |

A Town Called RotGut

saloons are just another form of dealing with depression
I hate drinking away nights
saying yes to bartenders
saying no to reality 
take a dip in the cold waters
harsh and real
life is for losers I thought
but maybe I should really try living sometime


Details | Ballad | |

Family First

I cant believe Im going to have my own family, something I never had; 
Its time to step up and be a real dad; 
Now I can remember the things that make me happy and forget the things that make me sad;
 Its time that I start doing good than the bad; 
I want for my child to see me as a role model; 
Its time I break my own chains to that alcoholic bottle; 
I want to be that someone who can be trusted to follow; 
I silently cry at night because the truth is hard to swallow; 
I jus hope I can make that change today not tomorrow; 
I got to change before I end up in an?early hearst; 
My art is my gift and alcohol is my curse, I must break my own alcoholic thirst;
 I must relieve my own selfishness tendencies before they burst; 
I got to stop making alcohol my only because its no longer just about me, because my very own family comes first


Details | Ballad | |

Im Gone

Life as a lonely lost poet bred from dark cracks 
Lost soul living plain and simple among the people black and white 
Drug along with alcoholic among us distracts 
Lost values and principles around one many continue to lack 
Everyday simple facts, its like breathing through plastic sacks 
Slowly suffercating until the brain goes wack 
Once death comes my way I must keep it part of my past 
Aint no way God going to bring my little brother back 
I guess its a curse upon all those of us living like outlaw of an outcast 
How the **** will I ever truly outlast until I heal and break out my cast 
God cant you see Im tired of wearing this permanent mask 
I know my poetry has hidden answers if I look and read closer so I shouldnt have to ask
 Staying lost is a choice in the open road with no gas 
So as a lost poet through hardships now and in the future I will outgrow it 
The devil trying to get my soul and behold it 
but I know only this one man controls it 
Its too priceless for even my own greed to have sold it 
So as a lost poet I will climber higher than high if not then right below it 
Found in a world of lies with few truths as but another lost poet


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

THE BETRAYAL

     THE BETRAYAL
 Absconded from the scene, but dying fast,
 to seek a vengeance in a candle flame,
 I whisper names as prayers, a spell is cast,
 and goes about its deed--this is no game.

 The power none believe is really there;
 (or speak of, tongue in cheek, at very best)
 too soon is born and takes me everywhere,
 to ride the devil's beast upon my quest,

 and have no mercy, it will drive you mad,
 as you have done to me within my past,
 and just as soon, you'll lose the mind you've had,
 to whimper in the dark. The spell is cast.

 Breathe slowly now, and know this is your end,
 where once was written, you were safe and sane; 
 that on the day when you betrayed this friend--
 --your life has come to be eternal pain.
          ©  ron wilson (aka Vee Bdosa the Doylestown Poet)


Details | Kyrielle | |

Raven's End

I know that taking my life is a sin,
But you don’t know how much pain I am in;
Death is better than this hell I’ve been through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

My tortured soul robs me of breath,
All I seek is the release of death;
Requesting redemption in the gun I cling to,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

I’m considering briefly the life I must end,
Nothing is left but the chance to transcend;
And this decaying body that I pass through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

Raven they named me, but now they are gone,
I’m all alone since they both passed on;
Soon I will see them, it’s long overdue,
God grant me mercy for what I must do;

I beg for forgiveness as I let myself go,
Tears trickle down as I feel my heart slow;
Hopefully now I’ll get to see you,
So God grant me mercy for what I must do.


Tirzah Conway
~For the contest "Among the Dead"~


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Dig

Broken,beaten,blind and lost
All but a spark of hope left to keep warm
But dig and claw on bruised muscles, on broken limbs
Until the light day fills your sight
Left blinded no more
Dig
Until the soft fresh air blows the spark to a flame and ignites your will
Dig
Until the ground beneath is solid enough to stand
Walk,until the pain is mastered and stumbling ceases.
And you can say:
This will not be my grave.


Details | Free verse | |

Bound by Convention

I engineered an intricate design,
determined to be action,
not thoughtful stasis.
But, isolate and distant --
a preserver of decorum --
formal, unexposed, and safe --
with bounds determined
by tight, sane strictures,
I did not struggle,
could not escape nor abandon place --
became, instead, a creature
habit-ridden:  a cousin
to the circus seal
that honks a horn
for fish.


Details | Italian Sonnet | |

Exploded Revere

Each and every heart has lost its way
Xanadu is just fictitious, this you know.
Pain flows with love, as the wind doe s blow.
Love can be pretty or just as ugly any day.
One heart beats so different, in every way.
Dear lonely heart, listen to your spirit glow.
Each passing moment will tell the way to row.
Dream your desires, but live in reality today.

Revelations shall take your heart for a little ride.
Explosions build and fall, love has crescendos.
Veer carefully in passions lost, before you decide.
Eventual truth will guide you; out of these woes.
Respect your soul, don’t let your heart be the only guide
Every love shows, grows, though not without repose.


Details | Sonnet | |

Beautiful Lies

Beautiful Lies

One beautiful lie , an unvoiced sonnet
Words veiled with a crime that steals my hearts last beat
Slow turn of your mood shows me disquiet
With kisses warm and vulgar with deceit.

One pulse stills, our love was not the one love,
Just remains of a lukewarm cup of tea.
You steep and brood, one pineing the lost dove.
My broken wing lame, I fall into the sea.

Beautiful lies, my heart begs for your fires
To hear the words forged my way by anvil
Beautiful lies, hope grows dim and expires
Waiting for judgment by divine gavel

Tremble my lips , tears fall dry from my eyes
Protect me from madness, beautiful lies.


Details | Free verse | |

Theres a reason for everything I am

                                      Im crazy and a bit neurotic
                                         I am beautifully phycotic
                                          Im spectical and negative
                                               because of the past
                                        I am fantasticlly pessimistic
                                          Im angry and im bitter
                                Because of how this world made me
                                      I am pathedicly codependent
                                  because not many have been there
                                      Im a thinker and a speaker
                                       wouldnt you like to know
                          I am kind until betrayed than im cold and cruel
                            vicious and sneaky like a snake to its prey
                                I am caring ,until you dont care
                                     then ill tear you to shreds
                                    I am loving til you hate me
                                     Then ill hate you to death
                                    I am forgiving of little things
                                 But if you take it to far ill go away
                             I am a perfect friend and a scary enemy
                             I mean sleep with your eyes open scary
                               If your good to me im better to you
                               If your bad to me im worse to you
                           There is a reason for everything I am


Details | Rhyme | |

THAT TIME OF YEAR

It is that time of the year
When all the shopkeepers begin to cheer...
They've started the season sooner than before
In hopes that it will bring people to their store.

I am more tied to the traditions
Than I am to these indiscretions...
So it makes me go bananas 
When Halloween is followed by Santas!

Who would have ever believed
That this kind of irreverence could be conceived...
It's not for glory, for thanks, or for wishing us luck
It is only that they want the almighty Buck!

As for me, I'll sit home and drink a beer
I never shop, until December 24th of the year.

Have a Merry Christmas!




Details | Free verse | |

LiTtLe bOy blUe

I don’t know how to start
The story that I want told
The parts that chill me to the bone
And makes my blood run cold

When I was but a little child
And they thought it not be heard
Though I was busy with my play
I attended to each word

Never spoken above a whisper
Barely breathed the truths come out
The darkness that lived within our town
Beyond gruesome was no doubt

A mother and her children small 
While sleeping in their beds
Were each accosted everyone
And then were left for dead

The father when returning home
Was horrified at the question
That he would kill his family
Made him ill at the suggestion

He was overwrought and confused
Did someone have their four year old
Was he safe, was he well
This is where the darkness
Becomes a mystery no one would tell

Where’s the little boy 
That looks after the sheep
Why he’s under the haystack
Dead asleep


Written for Debbie Guzzi's   'Something wicked this way comes' contest


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?


Details | Rhyme | |

Call Into The Night

Sometimes death it calls to me, like a welcomed beckon in the night.
A way to end all the miserery, a way to escape this stress and freight.
But of this call I do not answer, I can not meet death at its door.
The pain it would bring to all those I love, this is a pain I can not give,
This is a promise that I swore!


Details | Senryu | |

The Casino Changed My Life

Tried it once
Left craving for more
Addiction took hold


Details | Free verse | |

Poetic Robbery

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Ballad | |

GOD'S GOING TO SET YOU FREE

Something I want to tell you
Something you should know
How much I really love you
Forever together, stay or go

Oh, I hate you are a prisoner 
To this serious physical malady
I know that God will heal you
Either here or in eternity
Want you to know.. God's going to set you free

My trash can is full of paper
So many things I want to say
A million thoughts I'm thinking
Trying to pen a few today

Been my closest confidant  
A part of you lives inside of me
No matter what the future holds
Together forever, we will be
Want you to know.. God's going to set you free

I might not say things well
Not sure what's right to do
I keep coming back to this 
Forever, I'll be loving you

Life is a difficult journey
I know who holds our hand
He'll walk us both to Heaven
Trusting in salvation's plan

So today I imagine tomorrow
In eternity friends we'll be
And here we'll still together
Always going to be you and me
Want you to know.. God's going to set you free

Contest: Elly's "Maybe The Last Letter"
Date: 9-20-14


Details | Villanelle | |

I dream of a great and distant place

I dream of a great and distant place
It is mine, only I hold the key 
There are many fears I have to face 

Meadow, temple, goddess of grace 
Wending brook, glittering tree 
I dream of a great and distant place 

It becomes vague, it is now a trace
So very far, so very hard to see
There are many fears I have to face 

Falling into my city's warm embrace
Take me away, hear my plea 
I dream of a great and distance place 

To these enchanted thoughts I race 
From the staleness of now I flee 
There are many fears I have to face 

With a breath it will vanish, in a second erase 
Once more I feel a cold pull inside me 
I dream of a great and distant place
There are many fears I have to face 


Details | Shape | |

Keep n' It Real

                             Don't Loose Sight;        it might pass by!
                                          Blink Once,          Blink Twice,
                                                            Did You, 
                                                              See It? 
                                                         Just Keep n' It Real! 
                                       " Life Can Flash by, like A Bat of an eye."
                                                                       very Quickly....
                                                                          So,
                                                                   Don't Lo
                                                                            ose
                                                                         sight, 
                                                                      of 
                                                              what's truly
                                                        there.             "My 
                                                                       FACE."


Details | Free verse | |

ASH COAT SHE WEARS



Dark breeze is the ash coat she wears today, chest strutting from the pull of unknown blues into an evaporating fog of a coughing moon, strung on a web of torn-washed rose beds… it's a long, long way down her lane, but she’s deeply inclined, inclined to sneak, creep or linger among webs of strange fog just like her mashed hair : she revels at the slow gasp of the lamp lights climbing inside a mind, juxtaposed by the many drones of a sullen note, almost lost in a maze along paths searching mirth, searching mock ... beguiled, bothered, bruised through darkness; needing to ignite a bark, a red howl, a scream. And when the curdling pain subsides clearing what could be her new rose garden, she swivels from sad to mad, unsure if the drizzle has seized from pouring below ; a pious, black-laced Virgo star weeps… and her shadow blends with parquet’s floor near the gate. Lone woman -- a cross between Giselle and Mary Magdalene –feigns a smile, gently wiping off dust of more solitary nights without anyone to cuddle . Then as her sanguine hands close the door, she turns the kettle on, to spark dim music and the bulb: play on, play on. * My Best Poem Of The Year 2012 Contest For Dr. Ram Mehta by nette onclaud 7/14/2012 Glory Award I think for Debbie's Dungeon


Details | Tanka | |

The True Cause of My Cancer

Could be anything
But I know it was your Hate
YEARS, stuffed down my throat
Accumulating as this:
Esophageal Cancer


6/13/12
For the "Cantankacerous" Contest


Details | Free verse | |

THIS WHOLE SEX THING


FORGIVE ME THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN THROUGH THIS WHOLE SEX THING,
DON'T KNOW OF THESE ORGIES OR  THE BACUS PARTIES,
DON'T KNOW OF SOME OTHER WOMAN'S CURVES,
OF SOME OTHER SCENT, EITHER STRONG OR WEAK,
DON'T KNOW OF THE WETNESS OF SOME OTHER VAGINA,
NOT ABOUT TWO MEN IN ME,
MORE THAN A SINGLE PENIS TOUCHING MY FEELINGS.
NO, UNFORTUNATELY I DIDN'T HAVE THESE PLEASURES
FROM THE HOOKERS,
WHIPS, ECSTASY,THREESOMES, SWING.
SORRY, I DON'T KNOW THESE BEDS,
WASN'T LUCKY ENOUGHT TO HAVE THAT KIND OF COURAGE.
NEVER GOT BEAT UP WITH A BELT,
NEVER HUNG ON THE CEILING,
NEVER STUFFED ME WITH DRUGS,
NEVER SAW UNREALISTIC IMAGES
NOR SAID ABUSIVE WORDS
WHILE THEY CALLED ME WHORE
OR WHILE THEY SPANKED ME
IN SEARCH OF A MASOQUIST PLEASURE.
POOR ME, NEVER BROKE THE TABOOS
CUMMING IN SOMEONE I BARELY KNOW,
NEVER TASTED DOZENS OF DIFFERENT NUDES,
RAGGED TIMES TEN INSIDE OUT
FOR BEING DRENCHED IN DIFFERENT SPERMS,
HAVING COUPLES BETWEEN MY LEGS
THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE NAMES,
WHERE THEY LIVE, WHAT THEY WEAR OR WHAT THEY EAT.
NEVER PIERCED ME WITH PINS
THEY HAVE NEVER MADE ME A TOY.
NEVER TASTED AN ORGASM
WITH  PUBLIC WATCHING,
NEVER ENDED WITH APPLAUSE,
NEVER TRIPPED ON EXHAUSTED MEN
LYING ON MY LIVING ROOM RUG,
DRUNK FROM ALCOHOL
BURNING FROM ALL THEIR HOLES...

I HAVE JUST WHISPERED " I LOVE YOU" ,
ABSORBED ONE MANS JOY,
DROVE MY NAILS IN JUST ONE BODY,
RIPPED  A FEW SHIRTS,
ANSWERED TO JUST AN UNIQUE TOUCH.
I HAVE ONLY MEMORIZED HIS SIGNALS,
HIS SCARS
AND I HAVE ONLY KNOWN HIS CARNIVALS,
HIS FAULTS,
HIS MOANS AND HIS MANY GROANS.
WHAT A SHAME THAT I HAVE BEEN A GEISHA
FOR ONLY ONE MANS DESIRE
AND ONE IRRESISTIBLE "LET ME...".
BACK, SIDE, FRONT
ABOVE, BELOW, IN BETWEEN
I HAVE BEEN WHAT HE WANTED ME TO BE;
DAME, PROSTITUTE, ANIMAL, HUMAN
LADY, CRETIN, FATAL AND SWEET
BUT ALWAYS HIS,
NAKED ONLY IN FRONT OF HIM...

BUT NOW, WHAT WILL WE DO?
I STILL CAN LEARN ABOUT SEX
BUT WHO COULD TEACH HIM  LOVE?

PATRICIA EVANS


Details | Concrete | |

Trip Twist

In the void, sipping the zoid,
with mental properties of tripping on the spiral.
Falling down the tail of lions, awkwardly spinning.
With upside down tunnel vision leaking through.

Solidifying all matter that matters,
melting into the walls of your brain.
It tickles all the raindrops dripping in your eyes,
satisfying your desire of a synchronized pattern.

Bleeding purple from the rainbow,
and turning into swirls of diamonds.
Slipping exuberantly beside you; driving you wild.
Where the shadows stop the spirited scream.

Devour yourself into the omniscient grip. 
Icy cold finger tips scratch the surface of your divinity,
bringing you closer to the God who whispered in your unborn ear,
situated in your flesh from birth to death.

It embeds itself in the pupil of your eye,
dancing with your spirit and licking your soul.
Black shapes of madness wrapped in chaos and euphoria.
Twinkling and blinking dust of a cloud. 

Haze filled skies and blood filled smoke raining from the clouds.
Envisions of clowns and demons laughing at our demise.
Chilling sensations of sickening mannerisms,
mechanisms and mechanics sought out to destroy the tiny creatures.

These creatures running crazy into acceptance of demise.
Deprived of life, scared of death but giving into it's taste.
Taste buds quiver as the taste grows sweeter.
Death, oh death, tell everyone who you really are...

Too long have you been hidden in the shadows you cast, 
too long have we rendered your pain.
The world grows sicker as the hairs in my head grey. 
I'll never surrender as demons always circle.

Today, begins a new day of our fight.
And I have a good feeling about this day. 
Onward, we have united our minds and gathered ourselves within. 
Always ready for we accept our fear. 

We accept our hate and everything in between.
Accept it all for what it really is. 
No amount of doubts will over throw us. 
Onward, to peace.


Details | Ballad | |

Antigone

I am the face of misery
My life, a dissonance of autumn and spring,
The years are written in the same
Lugubrious, nostalgic grey
How can it be the author to blame?
I cannot scream this all away…
Burn nor Bleed this all away…
To Death I am Ordained

Lacuna ever growing
With Velvet sheets of life flowing
Aeons apart of my "royalty"
Under the mask the cannot see...
Can you dispel this tragedy:
Antigone - Epiphany failing

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

No words of hope
No words of hate
Do I have Lenore to send to me:
The sordid child of Thebes
Caught In the longest nightmare
life - the slowest way to die

I know this is my life 
But I'm not under control
under the mask the will see
Just Another Human

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

Can you dispel my life; this tragedy?
Can you control the storm in my mind?
I'm asking you: can you rid me
Of The Curse of Antigone?


Details | Free verse | |

My Mount Everest

I conquered the
Mt. Everest ofdistrust and
pain that kept anchored me down like a sunken ship in the Atlantic
your verbal abuse kept me off the radar
as I hid away my shame
my dismay was my watery grave
 
My lonesome journey was onerous
My arms and legs began to shake
I had to let go of my heavy baggage.
The weight of hate, and bitterness was unfathomable
When I released it, I was freed from the shackles of my past mistakes
Thirsty for nurishment...I took a gulp of compassion 
 I discovered that Love will take you the rest of the way
my tears washed the resin of my sorrow away
 
I laid out on the peak
and watched as the stars nestled themselves within the goose down comforter clouds
and the mist intermingled between my fingertips
That was the moment of truth
Where the world stood still.....I looked upon it like a shepherd watching over her flock 
realzing how lucky I am to recieve this opportunity for change
 
Insight.. these are the moments  are rare, and a blessed gift 
That's when it's just you and the world
and the recognition of your destiny
I have a purpose to spread my love, patience,and non-judgmental characteristics
 
You can conquer your internal demons 
whose firey tongues slither into your ear canals
spreading their lies
fraudulent and self loathing
clawing their way through your psyche and haunting your memories
 keeping you locked up tigher than Alcatraz
 
We all must traverse through our own Mt. Everest's
I wish you well and a safe passage
But when you reach the top.
Plant your flag
In remembrance of the day you took a leap of faith and were brave


Details | Free verse | |

The sweetness

There’s some honey, so you can take they said
There’s some sugar, you might enjoy they say
But then you might not enjoy it by the end.

Within the sweetness of the word,
 There’s the sweetness of the soul
But the bittersweet taste in this mouth isn’t a foul
Cause this taste they said I might enjoy then, I certainly don’t do now.

There’s the sweetness that rests upon this body,
The sweetness streaming by the currents,
Swirling and twisting in miraculous ways,
Just cascading into another future

But then while forming now the present to the future.
This transformation brings great changes with it,
And now changing the way the dandelion dances with the wind
Creates a mess, a honed mess
But now the dandelion is dying.

Who would take care of the dandelion?
The now sweet dandelion,
That has discovered that ain't it all be sweetness,
Now the dandelion dances with the wind, evades that much sweetness and delights in the sun.

Anna~


Details | Sonnet | |

On A Summer's Aftermoon

       ON A SUMMERS AFTERNOON
Come sit a spell--we'll take a little time--
from out of life, forgetting what we know;
and talk upon some things I guess that I'm
much closer to--than things life's had to show.

Do you know love? It's funny how it goes
to almost anyone, who needs it not,
but be there need--and love--it never shows
like finer things of life, to those who've got!

Now does that seem to be a fitting thing
to talk about, as passing time away?
Or would you choose what weather has to bring
as here we sit--with nothing more to say?

I guess your life's been blessed--and filled with love
or you'd know what my heart is speaking of.
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa the doylestown poet


Details | Free verse | |

Look At Yourself

You love this man you claim, But still you flirt with others
On your hand you tattooed his name, Said I love you and
Caused so much pain

Getting drunk to feel alive,Solely but slowly your dying inside
Talk is cheap you say, Actions are what's real
The cards are on the table and it's time for you to deal

I tried to help you , All I could
And understanding, I thought you would
My trusting you would be, A great mistake indeed

Weak I know you're not, But selfish is what you are
I'm not trying to be rude, Or hurt you in any way
I just want you to get a clue and to live another day

You choose to live, Or you choose to die
It's not up to me, Not anymore
I gave you the options but the choices are yours
I'm looking at you, And all I can see
Is a frightened little girl, As fragile as can be

You ruined your life, When you began to drink
You hurt your children, Why didn't you think?
With alcohol and drugs , There's no way out
You'll always scream and shout about
You against the world, That is how you see
And all your loyal friends became enemies

You can't tell the day, You can't tell the time
All you can tell is what color of wine-
It is that you're drinking
You've lost all touch with reality...


Details | Prose Poetry | |

To weather the storm

Storms above me, storms below, Storms of violence, Storms of sadness, Storms of anger Storms of people laughing, mocking my existence Sorrow, and the joy of the few lights of hope and friendship echoes Through the storms The storms surround me night and day No land sight Poseidon’s rage is all I see No mercy found, twix’t night and day But for the brief repast The gift night brings To weather the storms I travel unseen, unheard Past those who give the storm its powers To the places in my dreams Where night and day are side by side And Wolves gather below the moons Midday and night, to sing Their songs of peace Of legends from long ago Of loyalty to their pack And the fight to survive. To weather the storms I look to the wolves As a cub, to the mother The strong live to be the hunters Whilst the weak become the prey The storm takes all Partial to none it hunts One by one, boat by boat, all fall to the storm Human, Animal, Angel, Demon, the storm resides in us all waiting to take hold to drag us to its depths when hope is gone darkness rules until the Light is found hope is gone


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

OUR GOD IS ABLE

our God is able to provide all of our needs
for it was in us that He planted His very seed
no matter what's happening in life no matter how hard are the days
God is able to keep us uplifted as we journey on our way
in the midst of the storms in the midst of moments of despair
give God all the glory that you are even still here

during August 2011 we went through a lot of stuff
an earthquake, a hurricane and then flooding water enough is enough!
many called on the name of God and many cried out for Christ
but why when everything is going good God's not a part of their lives?
what many fail to grasp is that God is always here
and we need to talk to Him daily not only in times of despair

for our God is able to keep food on our tables
our God is able to keep us upright 
to maintain and sustain us through each day and night
and if you woke up this morning give God all the praise
and if you have a job in this recession let your hands to Him be raised
and if your children are doing just great 
go and worship Him in any house of faith
God is able to maintain all that you've acquired
and give Him the thanks for fulfilling your desires
just don't think that this world is all about you
for it was by the grace of God that you pulled through
and if you're blessed with a pension of a 401K
give God the thanks that it came your way

our God is able to keep us from falling down
as our faith in Him keeps us on higher ground
so grab on to the hand of God let His glory manifest in you
stay in the presence of God and follow the path designed for you
and when your money gets funny and your change becomes strange
let the blessings of the Lord get your finances rearranged
and when it comes to finding that soul mate in life
let the God who is able send you a child of Christ
bow down to His wisdom, bow down to His authority
as you allow His glory and majesty to come unto thee

our God is able to keep us from going astray
so in life it is unto Him that we should pray





Details | Monorhyme | |

BLACK TEARS

BLACK TEARS … . ………. .. in this midnight chill black tears pour at will ~ ~ a limping rose on window sill ~life scattered, such bitter pill ~ ~ wafting air of prayers to fill her stormy eyes~~ hang so still ~then scent so light blows from hill as new breath feels fresh thrill ~ ~ …………….. monorhyme © all rights reserved Contest: Brian Stand's Whatevr Any Theme By: nette onclaud


Details | Ballad | |

Pan and Satan

Pan and Satan.

One morning I was walking in my garden
When old Jupiter came up close to me.
And standing by his side stood fair Demeter
Who smiled at me so warm and tenderly.
She said “my son we’ve come to give our blessings
And we’ve a story we would like to tell.
Of how the great God Pan turned into Satan
And child I hope that you will listen well.

For Pan he was the god of natures beauty
And he wore no taint till Satan came along.
He’d play his pipes so gaily in the meadows
Though sometimes there was mischief in his song.

Then Satan said to pan “well I don’t give a damn
I’m going to steal your horns and make you me.
Then I’ll build a master plan and strike some fear in man
So always he will live in misery.
And that’s the way old Pan became young Satan
Yet still the old one dances deep within.
But if the two had never joined together
Then where would dwell the ugliness of sin.

1990


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Wrong Place, Wrong Guy

********************** Mario Rocha is an old friend of mine from California who was wrongfully imprisoned for over 7 years. He was stabbed several times while locked up, but left the State Penn. a seasoned poet! This one's for you Super Mario!***************



A child's life evaporated
gone in a second's time
arrived to a teenage party
arrested 
for a gang banger's crime

a night spent with friends
fifteen,
acting his age
the remainder of his years
left to die in a cage

so many witnesses
none could tell
speak truth, you die
and family
pays the hell

aboard a train 
that stops for no one
guilt or none
receiving a fair retrial 
has rarely been done

the kid never lost 
the battles 
in his head
but exercised his demons
with words instead

freedom taken 
but none could rob him 
of the dreams in his heart
though his nemeses stopped at nothing
to rip 
his life apart

still that prison train
blazed down the track
tried to silence him
with fifteen stab wounds 
to his back

they failed to kill him
only made him stronger
but his family knew
he wouldn't last 
much longer

unknown enemies
returned with more severity 
the second time
ensuring the kid paid
for someone else crime


they failed again
justice kept him breathing
the same justice 
that's been absent 
since that fateful evening

innocent
he never gave up hope
there were no obstacles 
in life 
for which he couldn't cope


just as the belief 
of his strongest loved ones
began to disappear
his unbreakable faith
became crystal clear

through painstaking persistence
justice was served
during the fair retrial
he and his family 
always deserved

incarcerated, 
the boy became a man
much older than years
writing was his therapy
protecting him from fears

through all the pain
self-pity never gave him 
a good reason to cry
even though they chose him
wrong place...wrong guy

 


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

THE FALL OF BAGHDAD

     THE FALL OF BAGHDAD
What rite of passage, moves one to the light,
and through the healing of all earthly ail,
bestows this breath of life, to make it right,
Oh Babylon, tis time for life to fail.

Harm thee no thing, no spirit in the sky,
nor any beast nor fowl who's meant to flyl

In algebric expression, your unknown,
will show the spirit world we fail to see,
Your recognizing from your flowers grown
In Poppy fields, your highs not meant to be.

We've paid the price, for all to bear your sin
And left you with no peace you have to win.

Each algebric expression drives us mad,
now your unknown is where we have to hide,
it matters not your ending will be sad,
Scheherazade may dance, but she has lied.

The streets of Baghdad--Babylon's decay
Are made to waste, they will not have their day.

No Shamanistic eye can bear your weight,
nor transforms what you've been to other things,
and when you see the truth, it's all in hate
that brings the end, of which all life now sings.

Witch Doctors all have read bones all the same,
It is our end, and Babylon's to blame.
© ron wilson


Details | Limerick | |

Oh Well

Bill stared at a cute butt going by.
Wishing he were much bolder, he sighed,
"I would give all my pay
To roll that in the hay."
But looked up to see 'she' was a guy.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Confused

Confused

If there were thing's I couldn't understand,you was one of them.
Going back and forth with one another,like the wind and does in the howls 
of winter.You'd follow me to escape your own reality,only not knowing your shattering mine.You tell me to be me there was a time when I was me and you couldn't stand it like it was looking into the eye's of a demon.How should I respond? Running away only brings more then I can offer.
Now I'm drifting and everything left me,I'll suffer the venom of past and the reoccurring pains.
From the tell's of literature to the mounts of the great wars have I been able to tell just from their looks what they thought that very moment but as I look into your eye's does it not only confuse me it refuses to tell me the truth,why am I looking into my own eyes?
Let me touch your face.Let me look into your eye's.Let me see the truth which is clouded and locked away.Let me see your feelings fall from your eye's.
Burned. Chain. Shackled. Scared. Tortured. Entangled with lies.and yet harbors no hate toward anyone then yourself.How much do you loathe yourself? To the point your a sacrificial  offering of your own whim's?
As I search for the truth,I see the many heartbreaks and the lies been told to help but nothing prevails. Yet you look at me looking for the same thing.
We're both confused? We're both in agony? We're the same? 
This isn't right.This is a lie.I don't wish to see anymore.
I won't lose to this,nor bow down and be your toy.Yet when I'm close to you,it never cold.
Hold my hand as I fight with myself. Never mind hold me closer until neither of us is cold.Don't lie to me with those pleading eye's,that are like dark's as coal and beautiful as an onyx.
Let's be ourselves.Let's shut ourselves away from this world.Let's search for our own truth.But if there only fear in your mouth,then there's lies.I shall grab your heart and I will hold it like it was the last gem on earth.So scream,hate,and be gently.
I'm confused.Your confused.I will listen,if you will talk.
Have you ever heard these words before? I never have but I will say them to you,you who has the same pleading eye's as me.When we're so much alike yet so different to the point it confusing.


Details | Cinquain | |

Young Girls Pain

Love
Deceitful, wicked
Weeping, cringing, loathing
Things children shouldn’t feel
Hate
 
Intimacy
Repulsive, severe
Struggling, bleeding, collapsing
My pain continues unheard
Father
 
Hope
Abandoned, faulty
Hiding, listening, praying
Life is my suffering
Justice
 
Purpose
Forbidden, fruitless
Reeling, clutching, grinning
The agony has ended
Redemption

For more poetry goodness visit  www.checkmyflow.co.uk 


Details | Rhyme | |

A Better Way

There must have been a better way.
There's just no way around it.
Family and friends kept saying so;
But, somehow, I've never found it.

Honestly, I really never looked,
Thought life was treating me well;
But to hear those folks tell it,
My life's a living Hell

Always fraught with bad decisions...
In their opinions, I should say.
I'm sure they all wonder how
I make it through each day.

They could by right, I guess;
Although I must say,
If they were all as happy as I,
They would think they'd found a better way.


Details | Couplet | |

Unknown

Who am I?
Am I defined by what is near in sight?
Am I defined by what I have done,
Or am I defined by what I could become?

Perhaps I'm of no use.
To him, or her, or I, nor you.
Or perhaps I'm too misunderstood to be defined,
And it is something like understanding that comes in time.

And if to the world I'm never shown,
Yet in my own light I've grown and grown,
And so I can know no happiness but my own--
The reason for my smile, to you, will forever be unknown.

I do not pray for the world to know my name.
For it and verse; the letters are the same.
And if a man should find his sorrow in what he reads,
I pray his pain my words to keep. 

Should his eyes rain on my page,
Better tears than storms of rage.
And if a man should find his sorrow in what he reads.
I pray his pain my words to keep.

And if to the world you're never shown,
Yet in your own light you've grown and grown,
And so you know no happiness but your own.
Let the reason for your smile, to you, only be known.


Details | Epigram | |

Absence Makes the Heart ---

Your absence hurts me,
Like a persistent toothache
Or a pair of too-tight shoes.....
But, worse, your hard face,
When finally we meet,
Leaves me panicked, gasping --
A doomed and thrashing swimmer
Drowning in your indifference.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Most Cruel Disease

The Most Cruel Disease

By Elton Camp

Len Mosley was quite a man in his day
Little bad about him could anyone say

The life he lived was anyone’s dream
He had everything in life, it did seem

Happy and alert when he was a child,
Len was cheerful and always smiled

He became a teen, handsome & strong
Little in his life turned out to be wrong

And his intelligence was exceptional too
With his IQ, there was little he couldn’t do

After college, Len returned and took a wife
The two came to have a happy family life

With four children the couple were blessed
And in his chosen career Len progressed

The high school principal he finally became
By work and integrity, he added to his name

When he grew older, a change all could see
He was no longer the man that he used to be

Len became confused as to what he should do
As time passed, even more severe it grew

The doctor’s sad diagnosis finally came in
“I’m sorry, but it is Alzheimer’s my friend.”

Len struggled against it as hard as he could
That it was hopeless, his family understood

Finally, his children he couldn’t even recognize
For all of the brightness and light left his eyes

His family took care of Len in his own home,
But he began to leave and alone he’d roam

He was unaware that danger had come near
When over a hill, a Mack truck did appear

Both horn and brakes the truck driver tried
But it was to no avail and that day Len died

Alzheimer’s disease had destroyed his mind
To Len, that fate was the one most unkind


Details | Rhyme | |

Blank Page

Too long have I been staring at this cruel blank page before me, My crazed, hysteric mind screaming and imploring I know there is a message that's dying to come out— I need to fill this confounded page without the slightest doubt! It's a simple predicament to manipulate, Into a mass of thought A futile attempt to insinuate, Weak hints are left with naught I sit here in silent desperation, What can fill this page? I slap myself in indignation, My eagerness becoming rage! Like roaches sporadically running from light My thoughts are but a haze The words I write just don't seem right, On this cruel blank page!


Details | Rondeau Redouble | |

Goodbye Johnny Walker

Goodbye Johnny Walker
Joanna Davis


I swear I’m in a nightmare
I know it’s some bad dream
this craving for the deadly juice
is nothing new it seems
Our life is one long quarrel, 
a battle no one can win
Am I paying a kind of penance,
for some past life of sin?
I won’t put up with this forever
the smell or wavering gait,
If I stay with you much longer,
I’ll surely be tempting my fate
A soul that’s soaked with liquor,
with breath to ignite a match
But your handsome looks so deceiving
I naively believed you a catch!
You’ll promise it’s the last time,
say you’re done… that it’s the end!
But in me you see a nagging wife,
while in the bottle - a comforting friend
Tell me exactly how, I can win,
or compete with something so pure?
What kind of psychological jargon,
would even up the score?
This demon is so elusive,
someone, somewhere, please advise me
What spirits will finally convince you
to seek your desired sobriety!



Details | Lyric | |

Tropical Getaway

Carpooling in the Monday traffic jam,             
Wondering what we are and who I am.
Since we’ve already raised a family,              
Is there anything left just for you and me?
Seems each day is just like the one before.           
Exactly what have we both been working for?
So many years lost from nine to five...              
Making ends meet, but barely feeling alive.

I wanna find us some tropical getaway--        
Somewhere lost where the locals play;
With fishing boats and mango trees,                 
And spicy scents carried on the breeze.
I wanna find us some island Shangri-La—      
A quiet spot with no hoopla...
Some place where it’s easy to hide,                   
That can’t be found in a tourist guide. 

I wanna find us some tropical paradise             
Where nights are warm and folks are nice,
And green birds sing exotic melodies                
While monkeys play high in coconut trees 
We could lounge in that tropical paradise,         
As bonfires spark like fireflies;
Watch lovers dance while steel drums play        
Calypso tunes from dusk till day. 

I wanna hold you close on an empty beach,
With a full moon just out of reach.
We could sneak behind a big sand dune
And celebrate another honeymoon.
Let’s forget about all the noisy mobs,               
Grown-up kids, and annoying jobs,
And swing in a hammock made for two—         
And snuggle close,  just me and you. 

(Chorus) 
Bamboo torches and starry skies       
Will be mirrored in your big brown eyes.
We’ll dance away each endless night,              
Lost in love, with no dawn in sight. 


Details | Free verse | |

Only in You

Through the lonely woods, I may head,

Upon the autumn leaves, I may tread,

At the secluded horizon, I may stare,

And only you, I may see,

In those symphonies of silence,

In those melodies of calmness,

In those euphonies of quietness.

 

By the silent lake, I may lay,

Till the twilight fades, I may stay,

Then in reclusive silence, I may walk,

And only to you, I may talk,

Through those toungueless emotions,

Through those wordless attachments,

Through those voiceless sentiments.

 

In the lone meadow, I may wander,

Along the untrodden paths, I may waver,

In companionless seclusion, I may hide,

And only in you, I may find,

The depths of oneness,

The bonds of togetherness,

The cozy feel of coalescence.

 

In the wilderness of emotions, I may die,

At the merciless daggering, I may sigh,

Through a million wounds, I may bleed,

And only in you, I may seek,

The balm of love,

The warmth of affection,

The heal of inseparability.


Details | Cinquain | |

My Destiny

Each day As if through night I walk, searching my way Holding in my hands, a flashlight eyes strained. Watching The road closely I stay on the small path Stepping over rocks, avoiding Ivy. But soon The flashlight dies I know I must go on Yet feel blind in pitch black night, I stop. I hear The night's music Around me like a voice That sings to me a melody Of love. I wait With my faith strong I know something will change And I raise my voice in response Clouds part. The moon Is then revealed I see the path clearly Before dawn I'll be where I belong, With thee. Cinquain Suite © CarolineCecile 04.29.12


Details | Free verse | |

Dripping Pages

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Lyric | |

PAIN HAS NO CURE

So emotional
So passionate 
So eager
So willing  
Yet, that much more
So insecure
So fragile
So easily offended
So afflicted 
Henceforth, Eternally intolerable. 
So, I refuse.  NO MORE 2 endure...


All ye carnal minded.  Pain has no cure.


Details | Free verse | |

Never Enough

I always love more,
and it kills me in the end.
I always give more than I receive
and,
even though I cherish each smile like it alone
was responsible for moving the world,
it was never enough 
and I was never enough,
but we both knew the teams weren't quite even
and each was playing by a different set of rules.
So I gave you all I had and
took out a loan to give you more-
leaving my heart hungry so I could make sure
there was always enough to fill yours-
and you gave me what you had 
and I cherished each glance like it kept the oceans churning.
I pawned my soul and shed my skin-
leaving my bones cold and aching-
so yours would never feel hollow.
And I gave you everything I had
and loved you with all my strength
until my heart gave out-
and yet I still managed a few more beats
for good measure-
And you gave me what you could but
it wasn't enough
and still I cherished each ounce of your love
like it was the last breath ghosting across my lips
in one final offering to you-
"I love you."


Details | Pantoum | |

Only Link A Telephone Line

The wait_only link a telephone line
Minutes trickle through the minute glass
Everyone gets a call and that is fine
Our daughter answered phone as her own task

Minutes trickle through the minute glass
Finally the phone call from Doctor Burke
Our daughter answered phone as her own task
His job was done; he did excellent work

Finally the phone call from Doctor Burke
Surgery finished, it went well_ hip in
His job was done; he did excellent work
Wait again while in recovery_wear thin

Surgery finished, it went well_ hip in
He's in recovery will be there short while
Wait again while in recovery_wear thin
My anxiety went past quarter mile

He's in recovery will be there short while
Everyone gets a call and that is fine
My anxiety went past quarter mile
The wait_only link a telephone line


Details | Ghazal | |

if your smart enough to read this

die you evil monkeys!   if you are smart enough to read this that means you should be smart enough to comment.  if you dont comment then you are an offense to the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Details | Choka | |

Empty

rough wooden background
light behind your laddered frame
woven bullrushes your seat
unbroken staunch stiff
what spinsters have you held tall
with locked knees and fallen heads

*5/7/7/5/7/7 one of two possible structures


Details | Sonnet | |

Purpose

I wake filled with anxiety and despair
My body aches and is full of pain
My first thought is of what is not there
There is nothing I can do to stop the thoughts in my brain

I go to the medicine cabinet to take a pill for anxiety
But still my mind reels with thoughts of what I want
Why must I put this burden upon me
I’m trapped in a life where I must be nonchalant

As the day goes on it just gets worse 
There’s a nagging feeling that I’m not me
My mind and body beginning to hurt
I hide inside myself so no one can see

Will I ever release myself from this hell
As of today there’s no way to tell



Details | Lyric | |

Miles

I write
my late night revelations
paint an image so clear-
so precise-
as if fine-tuned with a microscope.
I see the truth.
I now realize that what I need-
I want-
is YOU.
I don't know how I am going to make you see,
make you feel...
I need to make you know.
A simple touch is all I need
to delve into your mind and infect you.
But how to reach you?
You are hidden far away
within your own mind,
in maze of your own design.
Between us locked doors and endless traps,
mountains,
valleys,
rivers, lakes, oceans,
miles and miles of 
impassible terrain that keeps me apart,
keeps me from you!
We are two universes set to collide-
not to be destroyed,
but merge into one.
Set to collide, but keep missing our mark.
This is unbeknownst to you.
I keep the secrets within me.
How much longer can I wait-
how much longer until my silence
consumes me?
Until you break me?
I am deserted, alone,
left in desolation.
You are the answer to the questions,
the key to my freedom.
But you cannot reach me.
And you do not know what you are.
How much longer til my time runs out?


Details | Alliteration | |

Battling Addiction

She sits in the room across from me
Mocking my sanity
As I try to will her to go away
But we live in a room that has no door
She sits there smug and awfully sure
That she’s in my life now to stay

She grows bigger as I get small
I don’t recognize myself at all
Her desires dictate my every move
I see her through my family’s tears
She has separated us for years
Making rough times from a life that was smooth

I cannot leave her tight embrace
Her influence distorts my once clean face
Everyone else but myself is to blame
I give into her constant plea
To get again inside of me
I loathe this gal with Addiction as her name


Details | Blank verse | |

A Sign

The madman chalked red X’s
on the sidewalks of the houses 
if he suspected 
or had evidence
that people there 
were unkind to each other, 
or their dogs.

When he was a young man,
he studied hobo signs 
chalked on railroad cars, mailboxes, fences, 
buildings in barn yards, 
in towns he probed.
Signs that said “doubtful”, “mean dog”, 
“be ready to defend yourself”, 
“dirty jail”, or “nothing doing here” 
sent him away
or might draw him closer 
to investigate.

He was a harvest hobo, 
following the crops in the West.
Once beaten senseless, and left to die in a Fresno alley. 
They laughed when they punched and kicked him, 
stealing his knapsack and his kit. 
The beating injured his brain.
He was never the same. 
He lost all inhibitions and good judgment. 

He couldn’t remember what rows to pick
when he picked grapes in Visalia 
and oranges in Porterville. 
He lost track of time, and had to write everything down. 
He made little sketches so he could find his way 
back to his box under the railroad bridge. 
At night, he played his harmonica 
until he dropped into dreams of his days as a boy 
or his job with the city.

He dreamt of the beautiful woman that gave him
a whole pie when he begged for food at her door. 
He dreamt of the old, black man that looked into his eyes for a long time before tears 
came. 

The old man saw himself in his eyes. 
He saw a man with even less than himself, 
and it was more than he could endure. 

The hobo impressed the dirt path 
in front of the man’s simple cottage 
with a new mark – a mark never seen before. 
It was an austere eye, 
a large tear in both corners, 
made with polished pebbles 
and shells he carried in his pack.


Details | Ballad | |

A Selfish Prayer

It's hard when I see so much pain,
Filled with life's many hardships,
All these troubled souls praying,
For miracles through their worships,

Even at home they are lost,
And muddle through their days,
'Release us from our lots',
They cry out from their maze,

Yet I find it even harder still,
When I must stand here and watch,
With neither the way or the will,
To give what little I've got,

So Lord I pray you fill my cup,
Give me the success and station,
Where hope can spring from love,
To answer all this frustration,

Let me afford more than simple words,
Grant me the means to answer prayer,
Lay before me a path true and sure,
To receive great fruit I can share,

My life has taught me so very much,
As my prayers so often are granted,
I know what it means to be touched,
By the charity of the enchanted,

It brings a life of such great hope,
To you and all of those you love,
It helps you to widen your scope,
And great faith when times get tough,

So today Lord I finally pray,
For something I never have before,
I pray for riches so very great,
That I would never need to ask for more,

Vast wealth beyond Solomon or Jabez,
Great wisdom and eternal good health,
The power to shape the will of others,
And all the prayers I leave on the shelf,

And I pray that I remain steadfast,
In service to you through my fellow man,
And you answer this prayer however crass,
Before this poem is written by this hand.


Details | Free verse | |

Duck Side Story

You have your North side ducks, 
And you have your south side ducks.
Neither the twain shall meet.
For each one had his nose in the air. 
They simply would not do the greet.

So as it happens they would dance with flair in the middle of the pond.
Always trying to out do the other side…Yes, let’s call it ‘Stomp The Pond’
Wings in motion lifting them up, to stomp the waters with their feet
Acrobatics and splashing around… Man it looked so neat.

So Stella, one of the South Side Ducks fell in love with her North side Pete.
But she couldn’t cross the middle of the pond, with so much action in the way.
Fussing, blustering, and carryings on were the name of the day.

But you know, there’s always one strange duck, and that’s the one who built a bridge.
Now all the others could come across or watch the stomp from the middle of the id.
My moral, I say to you young ones… is as appealing as stomping can be…
The world works better when brought together… 
By the builders of a bridge.


Details | Monorhyme | |

BEWARE

*****BEWARE ~ reads the file***** Love struck mothers in denial while the Pedophile robs the innocent child Lay


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Questioning Life

Forget! Regret not, for it all has intention...
To attempt comprehension leads to double block wall.
In searching your question, much more loss is gotten, 
Confusion, dismay a deeper dug hole.
Infinitely seeking you strive for some meaning, 
the truth is quite simple you are not sole at all! 
Infusion connection the union eternal, 
Is easy to grasp when knowledge of whole,
is truly encountered from deep within query
The meaning the truth the love of it all...
Once trouble & strife and struggle are missing,
The clear light of being shows beauty once more.
Accept what is given agree to the treaty.
Fight not with your fears, and answer your call.
Find substance in living, step over delusions. 
Regardless of meaning, life’s radiance will soar.
So use this awareness these words and this practice,
Come forth tall and sturdy, head high and recall..
When sad and when empty in need of intention,
No doubts I plead! No need to explore!
Emotions you hold are sensed by your siblings,   
Your waves of sensation your truth and your soul... 
Are parts of us all, we are all together we are all but one!
In oneness we’re whole! 


Details | Free verse | |

Personal Questions

What do you think?
Nothing.  Again, nothing.
I am as colorless as clear water,
as reflective as a mirror, as empty as a room
everyone just left.
What do you feel?
Nothing.  Once more, nothing.
I am as passive as a stone,
as fluid as a stream,
as shallow as a saucer...
Why do you lie?
I do not lie --
you see my exposed shell,
the walls inside which I
have become dessicated, shrunken,
hard, withdrawn --
an oyster, a clam, a snail --
a distracting polished whelk.


Details | Monorhyme | |

My Friend - I Miss You Backwards Contest

I miss you so...
Wordless... I miss you
without you I'm uninspired
a mute, my voice is truly yours
Speechless, numb, and empty

whats sometimes hard to show
that which I cannot say
I hope you feel it, I pray you know
this bares no question
My friend without strings... I do miss you so

so confused about what to do
I'm unable to handle what's true
sometimes our reality is conflicted
I sit back and marvel in thoughts of you

**For Matt Caliri's "Write a Poem Backwards" Contest


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?


Details | Haiku | |

Recurring Nightmare



Recurring nightmare--
my blank answer sheets
in all the exams


Details | Acrostic | |

Daniel

Drunkenly we fall once more
And wake up weaker than before,
Not dense enough to question this,
I simply savour every kiss,
Evidently, in my bed
Lies nothing more than just a friend.


Details | Rhyme | |

Is This It

There are no new dreams for me to seek
My life is all written, everyday just seems bleak
I have made all my choices, my future is set
No more days to look forward to just duty and debt
I've lived all my new days that I have to live
Now everyday is mundane and all I do is give
I miss all the new things that being young brings
Theres new love and new dreams and all sorts of things
Now all there is is work, laundry, dishes, and kids
I know when I wake this is all my day brings
I've given up on wishing, I've given up on dreams. I've given up on hoping this is 
how it all seems.
Some days I don't even want to get out of bed
I wish I could just lay down and rest my tired head
I've looked and I've looked for excitment to come
But as of today I can't think of just one
I look at my kids and see dreams in their eyes
But instead of being happy for them I just turn and cry
I know this is wrong, I know it's not fair
I should be a better mother and show them I care
I want them to have their hopes and their dreams
To have a better life than my past could bring
And even though I know this is the life I'm destin to have
I still want more , does that seem so bad?


Details | Rhyme | |

Murderous Thoughts of a Woman Scorned

Cheated on her three times, said it was her reluctance to marry Each time she took him back, finally on her finger his ring she’d carry But even as she wore it, her fickle lover cheated again She threw the chintzy ring at him -- cheap zirconium Knowing he had a gun in his car, stealthily she had to act Purchased a container filled with gas, a lighter in her pocket packed Drove to his neighborhood, parked down the street in a wooded lot Saw them making love through the window, her stomach tied in a knot Suddenly it occurred to her that her own life would be jeopardized Knowing she would be denied heaven, her fear was energized She threw the oil can away, made haste to a nearby church Praying aloud, she asked for guidance as on the pew she perched Contrite as always, seeking sympathy, next day he appeared at her door But instead of a man she saw a beast, in flames his soul would rest evermore Justice has a way of coming about; her murderous thoughts had vanished But from her life this pathetic loser would forever be banished
*Entry for Susan’s “Getting Away with Murder/Murderous Thoughts” By Carolyn Devonshire, October 4, 2011


Details | Cinquain | |

When Hate Becomes You

Hate
Ignorant fears
Jealousy, envy, tension
Grows into something dangerous
Death


Details | I do not know? | |

Let's Get Lost

She was a 10 years old
When her life was sold
He hurt her in ways unimaginable
He may have not have been her father
But he was her brothers
He told the 10 year old to get in the bed
Or something would happen to her 1 month brother
The bed was cold
The springs were rusted
Her heart was always filled with love and care
But after that night
She wouldn't dare share
The 10 year old went to school the next day
Without anything to say
Her friends found out
And shunned her out
She told an      
The police were called
She was taken from her mother
Who at that time wouldn't believe her
She stayed at a family members house
A couple days went by
Then she was returned home
The bad guy was found
She still has nightmares to this day
And she has this to say:
"I'm sorry for doing what I knew was wrong
All I wanted was for my brother to be safe."


This is a true story, It's MY story. I hope that all you readers unerstand that I still blame 
myself for what happened that night. I DON'T want your sympathy, I just need friends who 
actually care. Thank You For Reading Let's Get Lost. . . . . .


Details | Alliteration | |

Wasteland of Shame

Bound by blame, broken by blight,
Scarred by a stolen satire,
nuzzling necrophiliacs within the night.

Tangled in torment, tied untamed,
blemished by the blasphemy,
of never speaking your name.

Shackled in sin, shredded sovereignty,
dealing death’s doses,
murdering you and me.

Cuffed with candor, calling our crimes,
to an impetuous enslavement,
tortured through time.

Set me free, to flee this fool’s game,
where we're always left wandering,
in this wasteland of shame.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dreams of her children

The greatest blessings of her life Her children ~ their life She ~ a young mother Blessed with two A miracle ~ twin boys This is true! Unafraid! Though Both body and mind were bruised Eyes big and BLACK Her love and womb grew At first KICK She stumbled ~ her body recovered At first KICK She knew ~ God’s blessing she discovered A miracle the abuse Did not end A miracle her dreams Are in God’s hands… Lay
**For Gwendolyn Rix "Mom, I'm Pregnant" Contest "A study conducted by “Children Now” in 1995 saw that a full 89 percent of teens have been in dating relationships and a whopping 40 percent of all teenagers know someone their age that was beaten or abused by a boyfriend in a relationship. This is a serious problem that every parent needs to watch out for to ensure the health and safety of their children. Another study, conducted by Silverman, Raj, Mucci and Hathaway in 2001 showed that young women who were in relationships that involved violence were more likely to abuse substances, develop eating disorders, conduct risky sexual behaviors, get pregnant, and even commit suicide." http://teenagepregnancytips.com/statistics-on-teenage-relationships/


Details | Free verse | |

Draconian II

[The Puppeteer]
The storm I see you in
Caught in the race of Caïn
Held by the arms you cannot see--the conducter of Ennui 
-No stronger than the void you hold within-
It began with a hope, an obsession
Casted into, slavery of repugnant possessions 
Granted by, the Avaricious Lords, the ones we serve for
-They Told Us to pray, hope, away from despair, the despair caused by their immaculate Hands
Malice, envy, greed, was granted to me, The Feudal Dream, we want to be Them, just like him
-just how he solaces us, ambivalent hope, engendering knives to my throat 

[The Fall]
In this Valley of morning and weeping
Love lies bleeding, in desperate fear
With their talons, the hunt to rip out thy heart 
As each velvet petal falls apart
Her body chained in their bile and lies, covered with their red-spy
-sent just to check if our souls are in line, do not defy 
Her blood velvet and pure, drips away with innocence of the amber guardian 
The soil of plagues, beggars, and graves
Is know her home, the coven of solace
Though the seed has died--resurrection Is near passing through death's fear
One stronger than you--and thy funeral skies
She is alive--anew
But the vapors still remain
The Apocalypse is here, do we fear?
Just for the death of our sins
Elysia never Seemed so far away

[Our Damnation]
Solitary ruins, Fulfill their visions
We strayed far from the depths within 
We all lingered to his solace--lies
-you make the sign everyday, but lack toknow the name
We are just the toys, he pulls all of the strings
We are nothing in this burning world
of Decadence, and Failed Semblance

[Draconian] 
Draconian--Reach for the shadows within
Draconian--Break from the Fallen's son
Draconian--Their empirical lies, only die
Draconian--Reach the shadows within


Details | Rhyme | |

The College Graduation

The College Graduation

By Elton Camp

To a life of prosperity, you see
Your college degree is the key

Commencement speaker did say
Each and every expected cliché 

“Not an end, but a beginning
The race of life you’re winning”

“Why, the first thing that you know
You will be bringing in lots of dough”

But as was the college’s intention
Certain things he didn’t mention

Jobs will prove hard to come by
No matter how hard they may try

Massive student loans come due
What will the hapless grads do?

Even bankruptcy won’t wipe ‘em out
“Pay up or else!” the lenders shout

Those who fail to pay what they owe
It’s off to debtor’s prison they may go

The grads have the world by the tail,
Let’s just hope they don’t go to jail



Details | Ballad | |

Flow

The river cried-- oh what stones have i carried. All must resolve, all must dissolve, none of my sands may vary.

Have no fear, your waters are clear. Resilience is found in your currents. Let no stones dam your flow. I am the lake. I am your rest , i am the beauty beyond your mistakes.


Details | Ballade | |

She worries so much

She worry’s so much

She worries in case he’ll leave her
In her crazy kind of mind
Old memories they haunt her
And now they’ve made her blind
She does not see reality
She’s living in a dream
She’s built herself a nightmare
It’s just the way it seems.

She doesn’t see him laughing
And singing all the time
And how he is so loveable
And writes her lovely rhymes
How he cares so much when she is down
She never see those things
She sees the horror in her mind
That her thoughts so often bring.

When will she ever see him?
The way he really is
He’s wrote five thousand poems for her
All filled with loves sweet bliss
But is it not too late for her
When she lives back in the past
The damage done by foolish acts
It be so very vast

23 July 2013 @ 1250hrs






Details | Free verse | |

Death of a Dream

Death of a Dream
      by Amy Swanson


Time
   existence
       goes by
          *long drawn out sigh*

gray transforming

overbearing
    the happy
         once joyful
            exuberant bright cheerful eclectic

becoming shadows
misty vapor
                  rising to the sky
                  fleeting...
                              gone.

Days gone by
     weeks
        and
          months
            and
               years

                          motions of life
                          crowd out
                          emotions of life  


                                         This unrecognized yet all too familiar place...

                                                    This is where dreams are born.
                                                    This is where dreams die.

Spark of light
    soft golden
struggles against 
    darkened mire

hope's ashes
      faith's grief
           love's despondence

Marigold hue
        charred
              sphere of night envelopes

Streaks and smudges
          of pride
              vanity
              selfishness
              cruelty
                      deface life's canvas
                         once glowing brilliant
                             -- now torn and tainted.


                                          This unrecognized yet all too familiar place...

                                                    This is where dreams are born.
                                                    This is where dreams die.
Silence...
    utter chaos...
         sheer madness
              consuming life -

they don't know.

They don't care.

They go about
     *busily*
          trading dreams
              spiritual riches
                for material fantasies
                     built with air.

Colorless
    consumes the bright

one small spark
        daring dream
              chasing burgeoning shadows

until exhausted
           extinguished...
                       no more.


                                            This unrecognized yet all too familiar place...

                                                    This is where dreams are born.
                                                    This is where dreams die.


Details | Lyric | |

In my corrupt stead

Draped from her body, they sparkle like gold. Tear soaked and smothered, in lies that she's told. She wears them ashamed, but she wears them with grace. To cover the pain, that is etched in her face. 
  It's her mark, it's her passion, her reason to breathe. As shallow and weak, as pathetic can be. 
  For the last time I saw her, was the last place she laid. Where I held her so close, deep down in her grave. No more to be seen, no more to betray. Damned and unheard, while she cried out in vain. 

Don't pity the evil, corrupt and forsaken. Who've strayed from the path, that they should have taken. It's all self inflicted, they live unrestricted. But on this their last day, they'll all be convicted. 

Etched in his body, the scars will remain. Blood soaked in madness, he's nearly insane. He wears them in anger, but he wears them with pride. To expose to the world, all his hate that's inside. 
  It's his mark, it's his passion, his reason to breathe. As shallow and weak, as cruel as can be. 
  But the last place I saw him, was the last time he raged. Where I beat him and broke him, deep down in his grave. No more to be seen, no more to be heard. Damned and destroyed, underneath all his dirt. 

Don't pity the evil, corrupt and forsaken. Who've strayed from the path, that they should have taken. It's all self inflicted, they live unrestricted. But on this their last day, they'll all be convicted.

Now sift through my ashes, gather up all my bones. Let him without sin, cast the first stone. Pile me up in a bucket, and leave me to stay. So I can face my creator, on my judgement day. 
 It's my life, it's my passion, it's what I believe. As misunderstood, as reckless can be. 
  For the last time you saw me, was the last time I prayed. Where I dug my own hole, and laid down in my grave. No more to be hated, no more to be feared. For in my corrupt stead, an angel appeared. 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Wine and Dine

Wining and dining,
Dancing and prancing
Hoping I'll score,
My money I'm chancing...

Desperate for love,
A body warm
All my sensualities
Begin to swarm

Peck on the cheek,
My $100 prize
I stood there still,
With glazed eyes

Inside she rushed,
With ne're a word,
I stood still on the stoop,
Like a highschool nerd

Was it my hair?
My breath?
My looks?
Does she see
My hands as hooks?

Home I went,
Head hung low,
Well, at least,
Now I know...

No vanity
Do I see...
Worthy of...
Overcoming me.


Details | Rhyme | |

THE NEIGHBORHOOD NEXT TO MINE

The neighborhood next to mine
Oh, to see it.. it's mighty fine
Their houses aren't made with stick
They're ornate with beautiful brick
Sidewalks proudly mark their way
No overgrown ditch made of clay
Streetlights line their paved paths
Not a single pothole do they have
No better place you could ever find
The neighborhood next to mine

*In my early childhood my family of 9 was very poor and I wondered why we had to live in the "dark neighborhood" without street lights.  By the time I was a teenager my family was affluent.  But I never forgot the dark neighborhood, the best friends in the world, and being grateful for every blessing that comes my way!

Date: 9-12-14


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: IV

God made all people
But some better than others?
Stop being silly.


Details | I do not know? | |

Forgive For Time Heals All Wounds

I shall layeth down my cloak of redemption

 it shall cleaneth you of all manner of compensation

for just as my temperament doth squabble feebly with the present foibles of my most difficult current hostilities

 time sweet majestic unwavering time

doth reconcile in me

 an assurance of tranquility shall invade my troubled waters and calm the turbulent seas to but a ripple

 as if transposed to a lake

where the sun doth shine from the heavens 

and prosperity will live in my house 

once more


Details | Lyric | |

It's Not Over

Don’t say it’s all over (cause it’s not)
“Sorry” won’t cover it…so don’t go on your knees and pray for my forgiveness 
Oh baby…don’t listen to the commotion…I’m done taking cover (it’s all for naught)
I’m plummeting in slow motion…into the remorseful pit…I’m plummeting in my nightmare’s abyss

I want to carry you through the night… 
I’m swimming in the ocean of my tears… 
My sodden wings lost its ability of flight…
You've been swimming in your distress for years… 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

I want to remind you to fight the good fight…
My misery pools are brewing inside of my head…
I’m backing away from the light & exploring the night… 
You’re giving in to sleep and I’m wide awake on my bed 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

Please don’t tell me…oh, don’t tell me…darling!
You’re giving up today… (I beg you to stay, despite your inner pain) 
I’m scared I might erupt – it could be quite startling!
Someday, things will change for the better… (Don’t turn the wrong lane)
I’m waiting for that day to arrive – perhaps it will wash away our dismay…

I promise you a tranquil reality 
I want to stray with you tonight 
I still have hope that He’ll set us free
I was wondering if you could stay the night
Maybe the Lord could grant us 
Pure, incredible delight 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we've plunged into our own pit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to gather…


Details | Triolet | |

Stab, Choke, Torture, Shoot to Kill

The rage that screams against the sky A battle ground of angry hate Death's anger looms; threat reaches high The rage that screams against the sky A voice it struggles to deny The venom 'fore it spews too late The rage that screams against the sky A battle ground of angry hate. What made bit** think she could deceive A fam'ly grown so sick of hurt I'm one she thought that would believe What made bit** think she could deceive? Fed up with lies, we're so naive Her many victims her desserts What made bit** think she could deceive A fam'ly grown so sick of hurt. I want to choke her scrawny neck And make cruel vengeance mine to give To make her bleed, knife's wounds inflict I want to choke her scrawny neck And twist until I'm held in check But not 'fore I know she'll ne'er live I want to choke her scrawny neck And make cruel vengeance mine to give. I lay my head on Satan's bed The price was worth my deadly fate She's cold and lives with devil's dead I lay my head on Satan's bed No tear I shed, no more to dread It's over now, there's no more wait I lay my head on Satan's bed The price was worth my deadly fate.
Destroyer ~ Poet’s contest Name any poem with a strong title" (your poem title has to catch my eye) your most favorite outstanding title...


Details | Ghazal | |

Ghazal to Find a Reason

Force of mortal and faceless reason
A dark light finds no fate to reason.

Of cancerous nights, an uprooted slumber
Manic red luster of livid white reason.

No justice refined for the everyman's token
The cavalry's engine, the hum of blind reason.

For heavenly voices a desperate chorus
Numb as in prayer to beseech yet a reason.

One summer's bright flower reborn in a shadow
Calls off the late reaper, a wind of sage reason.


Details | Free verse | |

The Never Ending Battle

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

JS Lambert



Details | Couplet | |

Where does the Time go

I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…


Details | Light Poetry | |

Space-Love

Let's escape to space
& Leave the human race 

Space-love a new awesomeness
Forget the life & the gloominess

Kiss me, because I care
Even thought the life is unfair

I want to be a space-lover
Love you now, tomorrow & forever

Lest Live in a house made of stars
& drive spaceship instead of cars 

We feel the space-love in moon
I'll be yours, you'll be mine so soon

Galaxy, universe, stars & limitless
Screw the world, we found happiness.


Details | Narrative | |

Desperate Measures (Complete Version)

"No!!!"-- that was the first thought that popped to mind-
I was in complete denial. 
I honestly thought I would be safe!
I did everything that I possibly could,
I laughed bitterly. But here it was...
Funny how your life can turn around in just a day--
My own personal demon was now mocking me to my face
 and slowly killing me. 

Inexperience made me struggle. Should I go for the kill or not?
 Either option would ultimately result to death by mortification. 
The former to a lesser degree though. 
So I decided to go for it, stepping inside a place where
desolation would meet impending horror.

I was now in familiar territory but my fingers still trembled. 
Touching on porcelain smooth surface, 
goosebumps~ as I saw that red, angry, stranger, giving me the evil eye.
 I was still contemplating on what I was about to do. 
Pain was inevitable but I was willing to sacrifice my comfort.
 Desperate people did this all the time, 
all without a care--why was I so nervous? 
It was now or never...

It didn't belong in this world, and absolutely not in my personal space.
Slowly, I closed in on it and tried to put a hole through its heart--
I started to pump the life out of that repulsive alien.
It was surprising though how silent everything was,
I did meet with some resistance, and it just didn't want to give in to me easily.
It was still mocking me in its own, evil way. But I was determined--
I was mentally willing it to die and my heart raced in a fiery flutter.
I was clenching my teeth, my fingers were turning white,
 and I was silently screaming in pain.
I didn't know I would get hurt this bad. 
I kept the pressure on until finally, it exploded-

Its life juices just splattered everywhere. 

I felt something sticky and warm on my cheek-
so I touched it and looked at my fingers. 
There was blood on it. Oozing blood and pus.

When I was finally able to breathe freely, 
I cleaned myself up and checked the damage. 

There was hardly a nick on my face after all. 
That wasn't too bad...
nothing a little foundation and concealer couldn't fix.  
The important thing was, my pimple was Dead~
and the Drama Queen was going to survive Prom after all.


**1005/June 2009---posted an incomplete version of this for the 
"Leave me Hanging Contest" here's the entire write :)
though did some editing today ;) --submitting this for
Paula's Bedevil contest :)


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: VI

The body: sacred
We’re all made in God’s image
Hence... circumcision?


Details | I do not know? | |

Brown m and m's in a brandy glass

Twice wronged by false ideas of a hero who doesn't save
A man who is synthetic for a poor fools mislead hope
How can you follow the convicted with a smile
To twice have the dreams snatched by his will
Tears like acid melting my heart away
How soon they are to forget past disasters
Like a wound in my soul its always going to stay

I need to sleep
But I only dream of unseen faces
Melancholy smiles
Mental plagues and internal trials
If your cross to bear is ignorance
Then this lack of life will become mine

Another diet of colourful pills and bleak skies
Slow burned before the feeling seeped inside
When I try to remember the life I left behind
I find the memories are dissolving while my emotions die
Head wounds and another book of excuses
So easy to identify the origin of another lie
I need a pill to suppress my urge to live in vain
I need a quick solution to destroy my ongoing pain

I need to sleep
But I only dream of unseen faces
Melancholy smiles
Mental plagues and internal trials
If your cross to bear is ignorance
Then this lack of life will become mine

In my arms there wont ever be a weight
Nothing to call my possession
Smiles with that which I call my own
Burdened by seeing others tears 
In the night of the cold moonlight
Laughter so quiet to revalidate my state of mind
I've been here before my memories so quick to remind me
But they've been gone too long to give an answer to get me by

I need to sleep
But all I see are unseen faces
Melancholy smiles
Mental plagues and internal trials
If your cross to bear is ignorance
Then this lack of life will become mine


Details | Choka | |

The Road not Traveled

Walking upon the road
That seems to lead nowhere clear
Day or night, no difference
Their sense, gone, alone.

Not so long ago,
There was music in the air
Their was a dance in my step
I wasn't alone.

I walked with my love
There was sunshine in the air
Fragrance, sweet to the senses
Then it was no more.

All was gone like smoke
Upon a road that goes on
But where it leads, I care not
And I stopped my walk.

Sudden presence close
A faint light dances nearby
Looked up to see the moon    
That speaks to my soul.

Lingers, its soft glow
Urging me to move onward
Upon the road not traveled
Soon, where, it will show.

A new place to go
And I can walk with a song
Day or night, no difference
My soul now aglow.

Copyright © 06.15.10


Details | Senryu | |

Don't Spread the Hate

retelling the words
of the past pain that she caused---
forgive her sooner


Details | Rhyme | |

He Fled

He fled the faces of his brood --
They cut his soul with edges sharp
From lack of food.
And, although their mouths
Voiced no complaint,
The steady, unaccusing stare
Was so much more than he could bear --
This hero of two foreign wars.
He cowers now in alleyways
(And drinks his courage from a jar)
Beneath a far, unjudging star.


Details | Free verse | |

A Squirrels Tears

How do I describe such distress?
A squirrel sat on a lower limb,
His mother had chased him from the nest.
His heart was broken, in upheaval, a mess.
His home gone. His mother turning her back so new.
Oh what, oh what will he ever do?
Each breath he takes is a mighty gulp,
Then the sound so soulful with every shout.
Cries of pain were so deeply felt, 
That every bout rips my heart inside out.
It renders me tearful to hear the sounds flow…
The need to help him drives me so,
How could his mother yield such a blow?
But he is wild and won’t let me help his woe.
A human I’d hold so warm and tight.
I’d build a nest for him if it were right.
But I know he won’t accept my help, 
As he cries on and on in his plight.
For an hour he tore my heart to shreds…
Then finally a young squirrel came from another tree, instead.
Together they ran off fulfilling his needs…
His cries stopped. He’d found what he wanted with those pleas…
Now if mankind could only help those in need, with such simplicity.


Details | Free verse | |

I Will Not Understand

The ocean sparkles
in the morning light.
We sip hot coffee;
you cough, turn your head.
Eyes say more than words.
Ties connecting us
dissipate in sunshine.
Waves which wash ashore,
this white-flecked water,
underscore your silence.
Last night, in humid darkness,
velvet-feeling black, we joined --
made pacts that daylight violates.
I will not understand your shame.
You will not see my heart-hurt face,
nor will you long remember
my already half-forgotten name.


Details | Acrostic | |

The Gulf Oil Spill

Gulf oil spilled
Useless big waste
Lives were taken
Foolish mistake

Oil will spew
In such turmoil
Loss no one knew

So much damage
People showed care
Invading land
Like a nightmare
Let’s clean this up!


Details | Free verse | |

A Hospital Stay - Part VII, Finis

                                                                    7.

                                                      On The Road Back

Serious illness instructs its victims
In the miracle of the normal life.
Spend time starting over on things you never think of,
And a new appreciation dawns
For the marvel of Being-in-the-World.

     Crisis finally ended, they move me down
     So I may eat like a human again and gain the strength
     To walk geriatrically about the ward
     Creepingly, yet exulting in my newfound freedom
     From the Sargasso Sea of lines that bound me for so long.
     Soon they would send me home
     To where Gulliver's god asserts his primacy.

There is in every life that question never asked aloud,
Yet waits for its whisper in misfortune's ear:
Why go on?

Why the trouble of going on
When we know all things, after all,
Make an end of themselves?
What purpose served when Summer's light gives way again
To Winter's dark, itself to give way once more 
Before the furious blooms of Spring,
This cycling of changes running blindly 'round
'Til all together, when at last we're called away from being
Will soon enough leave not even faint memory
That ever we, or they, had been?

Why go on,
When all are orphaned in the end,
When in due time Time itself will cease to march
When even God may wonder
To what end He set it all in motion for,
Leaving only an original Mystery
To occupy Forever?

     Yet still all things contrive to persevere, especially ourselves,
     Despite our cursed knowledge of Finality,
     Knowing that none shall escape eclipsion,
     But sensing that the weight
     Of whatever we have made of our lives
     Will add its dram of meaning
     When the sum of it all is balanced together
     In the great equation of existence.

We go on for the honor of going on,
Because there is no road back
And the bridges burn themselves behind us as we go.
The going is its own meaning
Because all moments matter to those they happen to,
Are defined by those they happen to -
And in the happening
Each soul makes its bright flash in the infinite dark,
Illumines itself in silent declaration
That it once was, and dared to be,
Despite the vanishing that follows.

     When all is said and over,
     It's perhaps best we measure ourselves
     Against the blazing stars and wheeling galaxies
     To find that we come out the larger 
     Than they in all their magnificence,
     In our tiny, burning brilliance.


Details | Limerick | |

A Distempered Horse

There once was a skinny horse name George.
Poor ole soul lived alone in a gorge.
Three fit sheep came his way.
They were traded that day.
Matted, bony, his belly engorged.  

Onward He forged, living on the brink.
I’ll save him, one young maiden did think.
Head hung; life was his game.
George, his infamous name.
She prayed; from his needs, she did not shrink.

George would not drink; lips were cracked and dry.
She asked God, “Please don’t let him die.”
Water was his kismet.
Sweet feed filled hope’s bucket.
She cut out mats; whisked away each fly.

Six months later, George was still alive.
Lips were moist; he ate; began to thrive.
With some flesh on his bones,
And relieved of his groans,
The day of her moving would arrive.

The time came when George had to be sold.
Half Arabian, not very old
Registration papers.
The old trader’s capers,
You promised them, the young girl cajoled.

How could he live; does he have luster?
Papers lost; no death by distemper.
Confessions on that day,
The girl went away.
Compassion to the horse did whisper.

New owners bought him, his health still poor.
His price and potential was the big lure.
They quickly changed his name.
Greener pastures, the game.
Star’s beauty became his life’s encore.

© June 7, 2011
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: A Horse Story 	 
Sponsored by: Carol Brown

(Based on a true story)


Details | Lyric | |

Unfinished

It's all the seasons,
All the seasons in my world;
Storming all around.

All these thoughts may fill my mind,
But my time is memories.

It might drive me crazy,
Fulfilling all those needs.
And all the seeds of "maybe"
Won't be planted with my greed. 

And you'll thank me one day.
Three birds, they told me so:
"Learn from the thorns in your side,
Roses always bloom too slow". 

And the room yells "Maybe"!
Surely I'd love to go.
But riding on the winds of maybe,
Surely I'll never know....


Details | Haiku | |

This will be my FINAL poem on the Soup

no more Soup for me all of YOU have pissed me off April Fools Suckers
JSLambert ~ This is the fabulous "Prankster Haiku" Haiku from the Heart Contest ~This is not your average Haiku. But I am not yir' average Joseph, for my "Prankster Haiku" form is highly Ex-plosiPH! Ya' DiGG?


Details | Couplet | |

Silence

There is a lot to be said about the spoken word,
But sometimes it takes silence to be heard…


Details | Senryu | |

Tombstone - Like The Four Horsemen

they walked along
weathered, carrying their guns;
like the four horsemen…

down to the O.K.
guns blazing, bullets flying;
smoke clears, the strong stand…


Details | I do not know? | |

"The Princess"

So, I see a princess, all alone
Her beauty clear, her wisdom known
I ask her why she sits, on a floor of stone
Instead of on, an elaborate throne

She gives me a look, of utter confusion
Then asks me why, I live in this delusion
Must it be, that in her seclusion
She cannot be happy, why this conclusion?

I take a minute to wonder
And another to ponder
Why away from riches my mind will wander
And my heart grows fonder

I ask if I may sit with her, but she politely declines
I am startled at this, as my fascination subsides
She gives me a smile, and beautifully chimes
I am happy alone, listening to life’s little rhymes

Again I am struck to a daze
Amidst  confusion and haze
My eyes weaken and begin to glaze
I feel I have wasted many days

How can you be happy alone, I ask
To live life, without sharing your task
To sit here, no metaphorical mask
While right over there, in your birth you can bask

She gives me no answer, just one more riddle
Are you on top, or on the bottom, or stuck in the middle
To your neighbor do you mean much, or less than a little
Does a man play music, or is he a slave to the fiddle?

Though the answer is still haunting
I can hear it from a friends dull taunting
I have chased all that the rich were flaunting
And now I live a life that is lonely and daunting


Details | Free verse | |

A Hospital Stay - Part I

                              "Nothing my hide from the hidden."

                                                                   - Japanese Proverb

                                                           1.

                                      Gulliver's God Goes Silent

Sir Johnathan's Lilliputians assumed
Gulliver's watch to be his personal god,
Observing how seldom he took action
Without first consulting it.

Time has come to be the Tyrant God of our frenzied Age;
The One Who Harries
The mass of us from here to there and back again
Crying down to the faithful the terrible slippage
The relentless loss of minutes, hours and days,
Unreclaimable all,
Shouting to us from our wrists, our walls and all things electric
The message of incompletion,
Of things undone and lost
In the unstoppable flood that sweeps us along
Carrying all we think we know
Towards some great, invisible and communal Terminus.

     The acolytes' wishes are served,
     In serving one so like ourselves
     Serving those unsatisfied by any sacrifice.

     The call comes in late September;
     A doctor's voice informs me
     Of a tale mad cells are telling
     As they gather themselves deep within,
     An aimless tide of their lives just beginning
     To flourish sans form or purpose
     Bringing destruction to the  temple they occupy
     Through their sheer abundance.

That was when, for the first time,
My part in the steady move towards the Terminus
Loomed clear and certain in my sight,
And joined the strong knowings of my heart.

A fluid anxiety filled me,
Running shapeless and invincible
And I felt, somehow, like I was drowning.

So it was that as another Summer gathered itself up for its death
I checked into the hospital
To be dropped into chemical oblivion
And laid out like an offering
To the spirits of Blood and  Mystery
Reading my organs through greengloved hands,
Interpreting the language of manic cells.

Skin peeled back like the pages of a book
I lay captive in the sleep of Lethe
As they read the script writ in red within
     Making decisions
     Correcting errata.

          And the god on the wall
          Moved his hands in passing across his face,
          But not for me.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The S Poem

Silken skies surround
Secure sailing sloop
Skimming Sargasso sea
Seeking salmon, sturgeon,
Shrimp, scallops;
Several savory species.
Suddenly stampeding storm
Surrounded, struck swiftly
Skies striking, slashing,
Savage surly seas.
Skipper sighted shoals,
Slammed, sending seamen
Swaying, scrambling, scurrying.
Swift southerly swells,
Sending struggling schooner
Smashed somewhere sandy shores.
Seamen survived swimming,
Suddenly savage screams,
Strange sensations, sounds
Seldom saw such sights,
Surrounding sassy Sasquatch.
Savagely slashed sailor,
Satisfyingly strange supper
Sasquatch slurping sailor soup,
Savory sauce, stew.


Details | Senryu | |

Irish emigrate again

children emigrate

as Ireland’s cubs journey down

old ancestral paths


Details | Rhyme | |

Torment

Making mountians out of molehills is driving me insane
Then you worsen it further by calling me some names
You tell me no one really loves and cares about me at all
I think you get a kick out of seeing me crumble and bawl. 

You seem to always believe the worst of me
Things made up in your head.... that only you see
I paid dearly for the mistakes I once made
I want to close the book and let them fade.

You forever remind me and make me pay
Most times you don't believe a word I say
Always accusing me of wanting to stray
The edges of my heart are starting to fray.

Controlling me emotionally is a game you like to play
Your right, I'm wrong, why does it have to be this way?
I would never hurt you, demean you or ever make you cry.
Please bestow the same courtesy or I might have to say goodbye.

You tell me I'm wonderful, beautiful and smart!
But something flips in your brain then you're tearing me apart
I believe you hate yourself for falling in love with me
And you want me to end it and finally set you free.

You should never belittle and hurt the one you love
Love is precious and fleeting as a dove
Our time on earth goes much too fast
I don't want to spend another moment living in the past!

Should I end this love affair? Or give us one more chance?
Are the wounds so festered maybe the only option is to lance?
I know I may never love another as completely as I did you!
But how much heartache and strife can I keep going through?


Details | Free verse | |

Before Coffee Poem

Birds chirp by jarfuls
in twilight dawn.

The sun could stand correction
in the hesitation of fulfillment.

The planets & stars roll off
the table of sky, plop
in the puddle of lakes serene
as maniacs in straight jackets.

The wind mumbles
it isn’t so.  The unbend poplars
don’t care,
and children
aren’t children anymore.


Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | I do not know? | |

Missing Puzzle Peace

We play we fight 
But it never fills right
What is this thing that's in my heart
I don't know what to call it 
Hate? Love? Dread?
Or is this only in my head!
I cant figure it out
You are my world
You are my enamie
You are my deception
What is this spell you have cast on me
I don't know what i am asposed to see
Are you asposed to be here
Or am i to let myself go
Free of the questions 
Of all the things i keep asking over and over
Why, why, why? what am i to do now
Why cant i just find that missing
Puzzle peace so i shalt know
How my life should be compleat....


Details | Narrative | |

First Love

You say, you say
But what do you do?
It’s always wanting more with you

How many hours wasted waiting?
Desperately needing...anticipating
Drawn out desperate un-returned calls
Echoes of reason, only faint footfalls

Still I wait and long for you
Because I love…..I’m hopelessly true
I picture you elsewhere, not alone
Blatantly ignoring the ringing phone

You’ll be here tomorrow, dripping sincerity
While I cry silently, developing clarity
I know this game…all too well
You’ll have another story to tell

And I will listen…take it all in
For I can’t bear to lose you, or let her win
So I pretend, accept, and forgive
If only to gain one more day to live

Because I love, I give you my heart
Even though you have been careless from the start
Intentional victim, I pity myself
While you court her with practiced stealth

My first love…you will always be
Impossibly perfect, if only to me
So I forgive you and delay the inevitable
My devotion to you is truly incredible

Now, looking back…I see you at last
For all that you lacked and all that you asked
How carelessly you held my heart in your hands
But I’ve taken it back, less a few strands

Thank you for the lessons; for teaching me
That love does not come easily
For all of your injuries and slights have been measured
And in the end, despite the pain…within my own heart, 
I’ve found abundant treasure


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

THE CATACOMBS OF PARIS

    THE CATACOMBS OF PARIS
Their skeletoned remains, in disarray,
are numbered more than any count can say
and from their numbers, Paris grew
to be what she has grown into,
each stone's been cut and raised from where it lay.

Down in the dark, beneath each cobblestone
there sleeps a death that no one should have known;
and their remains are dried, to last;
to be reminders of the past,
lest we forget what's raised the cornerstone.

And what has made all Paris so discrete
is every stone they raised up to the street;
and every bone that's stripped and bare
by time that's left them laying there
in their sarcophagus beneath our feet.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

The Most Likely to Succeed

All the windows down.
Shades drawn.
Door locked.
Against the imitation mahogany, a little manila card:
"Check out time:  3 o'clock."

Click!
All dark now.
Hmmmmm.
The Wizard Deluxe 16" Oscillating Fan
makes a lot of noise.
Click.
It's too cool anyway.


Whew!  Those ugly flowers on the rug!
I can almost smell them.
And the bedsprings creak.

What am I doing here...
the Big Guy...
the Smart Alec with All the Ideas...
the Joe Who Was Going Places...
the Most Likely to Succeed...
Huh!  If they could only see me now.

Well, here goes nothing.
I guess I'd better, now...
if ever, now!


Details | Couplet | |

Indigenous I Am, from the Stolen Generations

This is a journey, a trip call it what you will It follows the footsteps of my ancestors, and allows my thoughts too spill Firstly let me take you back, to tell you so little of my past Indigenous I am, from the "Stolen Generations" I did not last This is why I must make this journey, to allow me to find the real me To retrace the few steps I made, to rediscover what my young eyes seen How ironic that the person I'll ride with, is the son of the then official Whose deliberation to round up us children, the scene, locale It's now the morn of our travel, where I look I find hard to see The peripheral of the distant horizon, is all that really captures me The town where I grew up so young, barely to the age of five Perth, now bustles like a termites nest, zig zagging in busily strive Into the bush we go, to a place where us youngsters so enjoyed Moore River Native Settlement, which soon became children void As I walk my arid lands, patterned in the heat of this day I recall with every step, where us Indigenous children played We could survive on the smallest of fruit, water we could easily find Even the son of the then official, said that we are a superior kind He marvelled when I spotted tracks, traces of where animals crossed Remembering back to when I was five years old, our lands always talked We opened up as we led our horses, introduced all those centuries ago They opened up my lands, rivers we walked, now the white man flows This is a journey I had to make, it's called, it's in my will No more "Stolen Generations" no more will my culture spill


Details | Couplet | |

THIS IS HOW LIFE FEELS WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE

THIS IS HOW LIFE FEELS WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE

I have a general philosophical  precept
Life is in general a bowl of cherries except 
When someone stabs me in the back who didn’t oughta
From a completely unexpected quarter
I mean it’s ok if some dude whom I don’t like or trust
Has a go at me and feels he must
But if my wife tells me I continually bug her with my fidgets 
And then she  runs off with a team of one-legged circus midgets
Or my kids sell their hand-bound volumes of my poems
To buy a ton of horse manure to mix with the garden loams
And even the cat turns down my offer of warm milk
To go next door and sleep on sheets of silk
Or if a poetry contest excludes me simply because my name 
Is unacceptable, maybe because I am black, or lacking in fame, 
Or because I’m Methodist, and  gay, and Republican, and from  East Lansing,
Then I say to myself, well  here’s the thing:
If, along with my poem entry, I’ve  slipped in fifty bucks,
Well then  how can I be excluded?  I mean shucks  -
Rules is rules but when I’ve already paid to be in the winners’ list
I feel I have the right,  and  I just gotta insist,  
Cos midgets and fidgets don’t amount to squat
And sheets of silk or loads of horse manure is a lot
But  my name’s my pride and joy and I am proud to add it
(But I fear to do it again in this contest or I’ve had it),
So in this contest I will remain anonymous
Though I guess the details writ here are just about synonymous 
With a name  I do not dare speak  - at risk of exclusion
But I’m pretty sure this extra fifty bucks will lessen the confusion.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Written  - with great affection -  for
Nancy Jones's   Contest 	"This is how life feels when you get to be my age..."


Details | Ballade | |

lost

You know the best part of going trough hard times with someone you love is supposed to bring you closer together.  In the long run it seems to do nothing but tear your insides apart to the point that you have nothing left to feel.  The whole thing about loving someone is supposed to be the act that you look out for their well being.  Their are things that you want to share with that other person but you call yourself looking out for their feelings Especially if you know they have tremendous stress of their own.  But when it all comes down to it, even though you were trying to think of them and protect them, you still wind up being the bad guy.  It is hard to see someone you love go through so much pain. When they are the love of ur life you want to protect them.  You don't try to lie to them. You tell the bits and pieces of things because you know that they hae their own issues and stress.  When you're used to going through everything alone and having nobody to depend on EVER.  It is hard to let go of everything, Especially when you know the love of your life is going thru such  a difficult time.  If someone loses there trust in u it is hard to get back.  I you truly love someone, love should conquer all. Maybe thats just another DISNEY fAIRY TALE our parents should have never read us!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Roll Call

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION








Details | Narrative | |

Soul of a Son, Life of an Addict '

There in a small town in Mississippi, a very poor family of (7) seven are yes struggeling but are yes abound. Jimmy the youngest of them at now 17 tell his father that he wants to be a Preacher The desire to teach is a privilledge that he inherited from his Uncle, and nowat that prunitive age he goes to his uncle (home) town. The soul of a son is one thing, but the life of a addict is another. My Brother, my brother he sit's down one day and listen in on one of his uncle's lectures as this friend of Jimmy is being lestured too.  You don't need to be weak at the knee's in this stage of dealing with certain issue's and as he comes to the end of his lectures he himself (jimmy) is in need of some "tissue". Jimmy is a member of the debate team(at school) one of the student is this friend, who is dealing with crack-cocaine habit that he just began doing for about a month now.  So this-this-ss partic-ular day jimmy takes him to see the preacher (his uncle) after this young friend said to him, "help-me". {I believe you can be of some help}. "Don't be afraid to seek God as your first step".
So after the two of them have elaborated over the matter for and hour, Jimmy feel's a
need of concern, so they leave together.  My Brother-my brother. "Life of an Addict",
will carry you places you never thought you'll be and keep you in situation's and you
will never be free.  Free to enjoy (life) and freedom from the depentacy of drugs
and living on the streets!!....
 These phrases becomes a part of the mindset in one's attempt to go forward with the
"Power of Prayer", and the belife of knowing you're not a "Coward".  "Soul of a Son",
is to surrender your all onto the source of everything(Faith).  And "Life of an Addict",
is knowing that God places people in your life to possitivily restore your faith in your-
self.  So when life throws you a "Nippy", (storms) that is when you're not to give up,
because the enemy wants you to think that you are always running on empty!!.
"For he is everywhere (Jesus) even there in this small town of Mississippi".


Details | Free verse | |

Scars Left Behind

You were always honest
unfortunately it didn't extend to yourself

Regal persona was never exceeded by your accomplishments
If only you were as important as you thought others thought you were

Some bring joy when they enter a room
no one would ever accuse you of that
Leaving was always the best gift you could offer

Being you could not have been easy
No friends to speak of
accept one
maybe not even him
I think he froze in your shadow
He has begun to thaw in your absence

Strangely I miss you
Not entirely sure why
Do I in some weird way owe you for my success?
Without you I would not have been born

You are gone
Certainly not forgotten
The scars are my reminder
A multitude of memories mark my soul
Not your typical father son fare
Norman Rockwell wouldn't paint our picture
I wish I could remember happier times
some wishes don't come true

Eventually our nightmare came to an end
You gave us the gift of leaving
Am I evil for being Thankful?
You died alone
Should I have flown to be by your side?
Perhaps
Somehow it seems fitting you parted in this way
If I had come I may not have been able to hide my relief
Now we both have rest



Scars Left Behind Contest
By: Richard Lamoureux


Details | I do not know? | |

DRIFTING PT. 1 THE BEGINNING OF THE END (THE REST THAT COULDN'T FIT ON THE PRIOR ENTRY

	The one responsible, Needs to learn…  a valuable lesson
!

But…..
“But What?  You can’t deny it.  Your life is f_ _ _ed, and she’s the one behind it.  And there’s 
only one….  One way to make it right.
Either or you’ll be with me…  for all eternity come midnight”!!!!
“Damned I am,” quotes the Reaper!
No matter what I do, come midnight 
I’m an eternal sleeper!!!!
An ultimatum from Satan…  A real catch 22!  
	What can I do!
				What should I do!
					What would you do!
			                                         IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOES!!!!
My heart is pounding and pounding like never before!
Rapidly racing as I draw near the door!
I step outside and leave that darkest place
Where for six weeks…back and forth I paced.
And for six weeks…  By now you know the rest-
Hand on my chest, as I anticipated cardiac arrest,
Breathing my last…  As I’d succumb my soul to death!
And all the while -
Pleading with God… to show His mercy,
	Lift  this curse, and somehow resurrect me..
Lest I drift re-direct my path,
	But ultimately it’s too late,  cause I already have!
Into the night I go… One thing on my mind…
Beware oh sleeper.  Vengeance is mine!!!!!!

to be cont…..


Details | Cinquain | |

COD: Call Of Duty

COD
Overrated Game
Ruining perfect relationships
Taking life from teens
Pointless


Details | Acrostic | |

OIL SPILL

O ut of control
I t shouldn't have happened
L ots of destruction

S hame on BP
P lease stop this disaster
I irrate and upset
L ots is at stake
L oss of God's creations


Details | Rhyme | |

Death by Beauty

A smile moves across her lips
She gazes at her crime
A scar across her flesh and soul
To haunt her for all time
She’ll waste away for all she cares
Never stops to use her brain
Doesn’t care about the ones who are close
All she cares about is pain

She wants to be what the others expect of her
Doesn’t care about the self-respect for her
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Can’t she see what all she has got
Already?

Never to go back again
She feels the world is at an end
She will never show her grief
Although she’ll cry in empty streetS

She’d sooner live like a desolate mole
Living in fear in an empty hole
Screaming silent wails alone
Content to live in her mental home

A final tear falls from her eye
It hits the ground, it’s followed by
A beautiful body, mutated by hate
A kind word could have stopped it, but it is too late
One two many bricks in the wall in her mind
Molding her demise because her heart was blind
This self conscious being could never have won
For she was destroyed by the beautiful ones

She wouldn’t fight back, wouldn’t respect herself
In the end, she managed only to wreck herself
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Little did she know, she had all she had sought
Already


Details | Free verse | |

Invisible Man

I am as human as anyone
I like to be happy and have fun
But you don’t care for me, even if you can
To you, I am the invisible man

My presence goes unnoticed all the time
For you, talking to me is like a crime
Do you see my face when you look at me
Or do you just look and never see

Your priceless attention I try to grab
To brighten up my world, that’s so drab
I make silly jokes to fill your life with spice
But to you, I am someone you despise

So I live my life as best as I can
Smiling through my tears, trying to be a man
A man whose existence, to you,  in your world is desirable
Not what I am now, Invisible


Details | Ghazal | |

Ghazal

I  met a man with scars in New Orleans
He worked a hustler bar in New Orleans

He went to The Double Play bar by bus
He did not own a car in New Orleans

He offered his body to hungry men
In sex, he would go far in New Orleans

He protected me from men on the street
Yet he had battle scars in New Orleans

War had taken a toll on his psyche
His actions were bizarre in New Orleans

I controlled his behavior but sometimes 
I loved him from afar in New Orleans

If someone insulted me in the club
With that man he would spar in New Orleans

He watched over me and looked after me
My heart was left ajar in New Orleans

I grew to care for his six foot four frame
Hard to say au revoir in New Orleans

He always called me Mr. Ethington
Caring far above par in New Orleans.


Details | Sapphic stanza | |

concrete

Certain, certain be when a heart is breaking,
banish doubt and conquer the simple truth: that
love does not defer to the circumstantial
                          (nor to my logic)


Details | Didactic | |

A VICTORY FOR A VISIONARY

Joseph the son of Jacob and Rachel by his own brothers he was betrayed
a young man with a gift of dreams whom they threw in a pit and wanted to slay
they were jealous of their father's affection for him and his gift from God
they couldn't understand the nature of his calling nor the compassion he had in his heart

not many people get it when they meet a person who possesses a godly perception
many are somewhat envious while other tend to take an exception
but to be a dreamer to be anointed with that special gift 
with the ability to help others spirits to be lift
to dream during the good times as well as the bad
to dream no matter the situation be you happy or sad
to dream as an encouragement to others even when you're down and low
to dream to let that gift from God in you continue to flow

most dreamers are visionaries who have experienced some sadness in life
most dreamers are able to see beyond humanity and into the heart of Christ
and even when they've been cast down they will lift their eyes to the hills
and no matter the circumstances they know to trust in the Lord God's will

a victory for a visionary, a victory from God's righteous plans
the providential mercy and grace which come from His omnipotent hands
from the pit to the palace, from the ravine to righteousness
Joseph sought no revenge nor displayed any bitterness
Joseph had an opportunity to ruin his brothers but he understood his role
he was a gifted dreamer entrusted with a godly perception entrenched in his soul

so no matter what folks put you through God can turn the tide
for vengeance is the Lord's so put your grievances to the side
Joseph forgave his brothers' betrayal and he lived to tell the tale
and despite all the hardships he suffered his life turned out quite well

so if you find yourself in a pit situation or you're feeling pitiful about your life
know there's a victory for a visionary if you follow the teachings of Christ


Details | Carpe Diem | |

I

If its money I got its money ill keep. If its money I have its money ill weep. If its love that I give its love ill receive. For I am but no one who just see's beneath. Some say your only as strong as you feel, but how could we change..in a place that's so unreal. People are hearing but..not really hearing. Why is the world so blind. I keep on screaming and screaming and screaming for things to be revolutionized. I am just a small song in a world full of cries, laughter, tears and french-fries.


Details | Sonnet | |

Tears In Jars

Warm soft comfortable surrounded here
Splish, splash bouncing rock and roll good good life
Then fast change being forced into a tear
What happened, has into great life come strife

Baby died before it had chance to live
That is when I left her young tender head
Roll down her gentle cheek emotions sieve
Caught by angel in flight placed in bottle instead

Flown into the heavens to live with God
He gives me place to stay until some day
For some disbelievers they'll just give nod
Saying there are no tears in jars to stay

Every sad event in life when one cries
Shed tears down one's face come here to reside


Contest: "Personify A Tear"
Sponsor:  HGarvey Esquire
Written by: Sara Kendrick


Details | Senryu | |

BLACK FRIDAY

Black Friday traffic
So I'll shop online today:
Coffee and my robe

11-28-14


Details | Rhyme | |

Silent City - Part 3

Continued from Part 2

The sun-bleached bones of those who shone are scattered down the lanes while other souls who hid in holes left bones with yellow stains. But plaintive tears were never shed, for no one felt the pains. The castle clocks unwound and blocked! Their peerless speechless spokes unfurl in black the reigning Night, by spinning off her cloaks and flaunt the dun oblivion, her Baroness evokes. Green trees gone dark, in palace parks, where children paused to play – now phantom things on voiceless swings, like statues made of clay, watch graveyards groom the marbled tombs, where grievers knelt to pray. The terrors of a conscience fraught, no longer stalk nearby to rip the shrouds from curtained clouds, frail fabrics of the sky – the wraiths that scream in sleepless dreams no longer terrify. And fog no longer leaks beyond the edge of doom’s café, for when she sails her mourning veils, she fills the cabaret with sallow shades of misty tears on sheets of shallow gray. Beyond the suburbs, farmers’ fields (where donkeys often brayed) are lying fallow, barren dust, where living seed once laid and in the haze a scarecrow sways, impaled upon a spade. A silo, still! Like hollowed quill, a ravished feather’s vane – with traces of bespattered blood, once flowing through a vein – the fruits of all the labour... lost... ’twas truly all in vain. No souls appear with jagged tongues to sing a silent psalm or paint pale lips with languid laughs to pierce the deathly calm – they vanished quite a while ago, beneath a neutron bomb. EPILOGUE Beyond the Silent City’s walls, the victors laugh and play... They’re celebrating PEACE ON EARTH, the devil’s sobriquet for neutron radiation death in places far away.
End MOURNING/MORNING LAID: non-standard usage for past tense of ‘to lie’ (‘lay’) REIGNING/RAINING BARONESS/ BARRENESS MOURNING VEILS/MORNING VALES NEUTRON BOMB: is a nuclear weapon that maximizes damage to life (aka people) but minimizes damage to buildings and equipment and anything of ‘value’.


Details | Haiku | |

Another Old Haiku

Night's blackness obscures
our very limited view.
Does dawn surprise us?


Details | Sonnet | |

SLAVES BUT BRAVE ENOUGH

Oh, slaves of the nation who works and sweat!
Tired and restless--but still flee overseas
to support a hungry future that frets.
With  barks and claws gained from descent degrees,
if we must succeed-- oh, let us nobly work
so our blood and sweat may not fall to scrap,
veins swollen yet act by act we don't fall to smirk.
Freeing a flood of effort through thorns of gaps
though greedy compatriots act like monsters,
their eyes open wide but gone blindfolded by lies
some struggles and shout, aiming to conquer
bracing away from forms of guns and bribes.
Slaves are we but we're brave enough to replace
those crashing obstacles with lace of grace!

4:29 pm; December 12, 2014


Details | I do not know? | |

Tomorrow is Ours



Tomorrow is Ours.


Suffocating beneath the weight of historical fear,
asphyxiated by the legacy of traumatised yesteryear,

the festering wounds of enslavement still remain,
juggling euphemisms in a crisp sound-bitten refrain,

spewing out neo-liberal economic charades,
doling out charity in strips of plastic band-aids,

but,

tomorrow shall be ours,

casting away subservient mind-sets that shackle,
no longer the weakened prey of the insatiable jackal,

tomorrow shall be ours,

we shall reclaim our plundered mindspaces,
we shall shed our chains, leaving behind the traces,

of past injustice, of the hurt and pain of our ancestors' sorrows,

we are here, now, alive with hope,


we shall rightfully claim our own tomorrows.





Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

DIM -- Does It Matter

  ~ DIM the world~
Does it weigh --- Does it matter


When your world comes crashing down
DIM EVERY THING AROUND
DIM WHEN DRY
Does it weigh --- Does it matter

Hear a secret, silent sound
Keep your finger on your lips
Keep your feet firmly on the ground
Not allowing a single word to slip
Shhh! 
Does it weigh --- Does it matter
When no one cares, no one's around

Don't tell a soul
Don't live to regret 
Stop before emotions hit
Soon you will realize 
All the feelings 
All the thoughts
Are for nothing
Sit down, relax 
Sing a song
DIM YOUR LIGHTS,
Hear the soft music playin
Ask yourself what is amiss
Ask yourself does it matter, when things turn happy?
Leading to future sorrow
Does it weigh --- Does it matter

Open doors and closing doors
DIM YOUR EYES
Darkness, shadows all around
No one hears my laughing cries
Does it weigh --- Does it matter
Without asking why
Hate yourself, become sadder
Does it weigh --- Does it matter
Looks come and pass
DIM AND COLD
No one to hold
Does it matter
We all live, we all die
Leaving hearts all broken 
--- Shattered
Don't know your way back home
Does it weigh --- Does it matter

When you experience it all, and don't like to pay
Does it weigh --- Does it matter
If the life one should exist,
Is not lived the way life should be endured.
Does it weigh --- Does it matter
Reviving a new way to survive 
Dimming the days of our lives

By; p.d.


Details | Rhyme | |

My New York State of Mind

Both the ignorant and wise

Have the nerve to criticize

But I've heard the crocodile cries

And the smiley-faced lies

Of those New York cynics

 

I’ve been bloodied and bruised

Wrongly blamed and bemused

Now negativity’s infused

All my patience has been used

By those New York cynics

 

Now I step on those stones

That once broke my bones

But I’ve become one of those drones

Just another of the clones

Yeah, I’m a New York cynic


Details | Verse | |

Life's Reason


LIFE'S REASON?

Where do we figure in the universal scheme of things?
this unanswered question is likely to so remain
we could be so insignificant, our egos would suffer pain 
maybe we are caretakers, to preserve beauty in our domain?,
or no role at all may be our lot, along with other Earthly beings.

Does it really matter?...... we're here and that's a fact
it's a wonderful world to enjoy, within life's short span
whatever our role, if any, life's great if we can so make it 
given reasonably good health, and strength enough to act.

To stay healthy is our main concern, and that of medical science
great strides in recent decades they've made, keeping us ahead
of viruses and other microorganisms,with aims we all do dread
their speedy mutations a constant threat, boffins combat 
in defiance. 

It would seem that life wasn't meant to be one smooth breeze,
there had to be adversaries to beat, just as in epic tales of old,
perhaps, when reaching our destinations, we will all  be told,
'drink from the Holy Grail my friends, put on your Golden Fleece"
hicky.


Details | Light Poetry | |

A night to forget

She thought that he’s charming
Her friends says he is so cute
But little did they know
It’s the furthest from the truth

Her mom buys her a new dress
Because he ask her to the prom
But during the fun and laughter
He spikes her punch with rum

She wakes up in his BMW
He,s smiling with a cigarette
A morning she will remember
A night to forget

She can’t stop crying
She lies on her bed
Feeling hurt and disgusted
Suicide thoughts comes to her head

Her mom notice the changes
But she don’t know what is wrong
She use to sing in the church choir
The preacher says she stops coming around

She hugs her mother last night
Then walks out the door alone
And its now early morning
She didn’t come back home

She jumps over the bridge
They pull her body soaking wet
She couldn’t live with the memory
Of the night she can’t forget

It’s sad that her young life was ruin
By the evil that lays hidden behind a smile
Her mother life is shattered
Never knowing what happen to her child

This is happening to innocent girls
All over the world
Taking away their dignity and pride
Sucking the life out of their very soul

Another girl sits under a tree
Reading a book of poem by kaz ishmael
He said “excuse me just got to say
That you have a beautiful smile

She brushes her long hair
Think her jeans didn’t fit to right
His BMW is waiting out side
They are going to movies tonight


Details | Epyllion | |

From Dusk Till Dawn

Distant You Were In Tortured Dreams

*Even My Imagination Won’t Let Us Entwine*

Your Eyes Spoke Miles of Unavoidable Truths

*Honesty That Should Only Exist in Reality*

Every Night I Loved, Every Day I Lost

*When Will This Ache End?*

You Took Away My Rest and Left Me Exhausted

By Your Commitment to Haunt Me


*At Last Illusions Evolve to My Hearts Contentment*

From the Touch of Hands

Now Those Nights Could Never Cause Resentment




Details | Rhyme | |

Why deny the surprise?

Why do you sit there?
Watching life pass you by
Why do I see tears?
In your brilliant eyes.

Why can't you see the bird?
Flying right behind you
Why can't you hear?
Its song, it is sung for you.

Why don't you know?
That nature sees you and watches you
Why don't you know?
It wishes to be seen and watched by you.

Why are you feeling alone?
Like no one cares about your story?
Why do you think you are alone?
Then wonder why you are so weary.

Why can't you see the walls?
You have built, sending your life into mayhem
Why can't you smell the flowers
In the blooming trees right behind them.

Why do you stare at the ground?
Your thoughts buried deep underneath
Why don't you lift your head up?
And dare look what your eyes would meet.

Why don't you try?
Just once, open your mind
Let yourself go and fly
Why deny the surprise?

By CarolineCécile
Copyright © 07.25.10


Details | Rhyme royal | |

A getaway Life

It's hard to remember memories of grief, getting away for a little while is a relief. Life is like an art, and everyday you get the chance to start. May not be on others side, But my love for them can never divide. endless tears & promises broken, thoughtless words have been spoken. So I must leave for a while, So I can go back with a huge smile. Let me heal the scars, & fill each of my waking hours. This might be just a getaway life, just to escape suffering & strife. Let me search & find my way, to find words I can truthfully say. It may be selfish, but there's just so many reasons, to heal every emotions. Because this time, I want Happiness, & maybe reach for success. I know I have a guardian & a guide, who is always on my side. In a million ways, He's in disguise, to encourage & give me reasons to Inspire. Some are unimportant as it seems, But slowly, God brings reality to dreams. & like a pilgrim, I'll wander, to this journey that can make me even stronger. I've learned so much that money cannot measure, All of my priceless treasures. This is the unplanned surprise, to make me realize. That I just got to beLIeVE, give room to forgive. because what cannot be found, can just be around. Oh & let me find my romance, Not just by fate, nor by chance. So don't count the days that I'm away, feel it closely, in your heart is where I'll always stay.


Details | Rhyme | |

America Is Being DESTROYED From Within

 

As sin and perversion often become integrated… So many lives and families are being “disintegrated.” Many are being driven by sin’s temptation force… It’s no wonder much of this country is way “off course.” The morality and values that once made a great nation. Are evaporating…. Leading to a “spiritual separation.” Love, honor, and respect of God… Is often a “thing of the past.” Anything of God seems to be disappearing FAST! God is our only hope! And him alone! Only he can bring healing to our broken homes! He’s the answer to this wounded nation, that bleeds! It’s only God that can meet all of our needs! He’s our provider… The great: “I am!” Won’t you reach out to him? And give him your hand? Why not give him a chance? And allow him in? A brand new life for you… Is waiting to begin! May we allow God’s holiness and love to reach down into our hearts… Asking; “Lord please forgive our sins!” Is a good place to start! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Ballad | |

Deadman Wonderland

Now that you're becoming Undone It's time to have some fun In Deadman Wonderland Khoon Tu Kao Khoon Tu Kao Khoon Tu Kao The setting Red Sun of Kali Shows it's time for your life to Pay We are the Kind to be feared -your friends We look like anyone you see Thuggee--Death's Devotees Face our treachery Bhowanee we must please She needs more--we have found our mark, our mark Won't you be the one to save humanity? Can't you see this is Deadman Wonderland Khoon Tu Kao Khoon Tu Kao Khoon Tu Kao Sacrifice! For The Black-Skinned Queen Sacrifice! For Our Mother Kali Sacrifice! It's Not Enough Sacrifice! No Mercy! This is Deadman Wonderland Deadman Wonderland This is Deadman Wonderland Deadman Wonderland


Details | Rhyme | |

Love Is Louder

Love they say is louder than hate.
But I think that it’s a shame,
That only holds true when you have a pretty face.
Maybe I’m a disgrace,
For saying such a thing,
But think about your life and how true that *****rings.
And I cannot deny what this mirror is reflecting,
What’s standing in my way is only one thing.
It was beauty killed the beast,
In famine it will bring feast.
And sideways glances, second chances, you’ll get those at least.
But what about me?
What about us?
It’s power like money,
It drives greed,
it drives lust.
So what about you?
What can we do?
All I can hear,
The sounds that make the world disappear.
Love is louder than hate, but I can’t hear it from here.


Details | Haiku | |

What People Were and What People Are

People were
Many things.
Strange or not

People were
Different and
Odd and fun.

People were
Monsters but…
That’s not all

People were
And still are
Strange and odd.

People are
People. For
life is life. 

Yet not.
Not is lies.
Truth seeps from

Every mouth
Lies, lies, lies
Move, move, move

But somehow
Lies prevail.
Lies are life.

Lies are death.
Lies are homes.
Lies are pain.

Lies are truth.
Yet somehow.
Truth prevails.

Truth is life.
Truth is death.
Truth is home.

Truth is pain.
Truth is lie.
Truth is that.

Lies will die.
Lies will cease.
Nevermore.

Truth will live.
Truth will be.
Forever.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

A Homeless Man Named Sam - Part 2

Cont. from Part 1

After I saw that Mission where all the homeless live
 My heart hurts, that we as a Nation, can’t even a nickel give
 How brave are we as a Country, but equally important, how brave are we as humans beings?
 When we see poor, sad homeless people and we just pretend that they aren’t seen! 

Living out of boxes, under bridges, or on some old street, wheeling grocery carts that hold all they own
 Standing in line for a single meal, or living in an old cardboard box, that so many call their home
 
That man on the corner I talked about, was standing there just yesterday
 All the cars just drove on by never stopping to help or go out of their selfish ways
 It was pouring down rain as he stood there alone, looking so tired wet and cold
 I wondered to myself, what would Jesus do for this man who looks so worn out and old? 

All my friends told me I was careless to have lent this man a hand
 But you see I couldn’t help myself, he was so broken down that man
 I pulled my car over and parked it close off the side of the street
 I waved to him and when he came I asked, “Would you like something to eat”? 

We walked together to the closest restaurant, a short block around the corner
 People looked strangely when we walked in together, but I personally knew the owner
 This poor man had worn out shoes on his feet, unclean pants and wore an old army jacket with holes 
It didn’t bother me to be seen with this man, for I could see he had such a broken soul
 
We sat there together in my friend’s café at a small table with two chairs
 I asked him if we could talk a little, then he began to tell me his despair
 I asked him if he’d share his name, he told me it was Sam
 I looked into those lonely eyes, those eyes of a broken man


Details | Free verse | |

Queen of Beauty

With her darkened gaze filled with deepness
Under that curly hair of black ceases
A smile, as staggering, everlasting and pure
As she settles on a chair,
She crosses her legs and stretches out her arms on them
The curved line of muscles, so even so flawless
Which descends down to her chest 
As broadened and extending 
With breasts she tries to hide them 
With her protruding scarf 
As she pulls back her hair
Covering it with a long black veil 
And stands up
As less confident she grows 
Day by day
Era escaping time
Going back to home, she escaping into her portal 
And changes her clothes,
Up close, her tight- sleeveless shirt reveals 
As waist not as perfect, fat protruding from her skirt
Stretch marks appearing beneath her stomach 
She hates herself, the way she looks
She watches all the shallow figures
All the pretty girls and their boys
Boys lifting girls in their arms
When?
Will the time come?
To get lifted by one? 
A Queen of Beauty she will become
Her friend once told her, her mother had said that 
She blushes with excitement but once again
Scatters with overwhelming sorrow
“Will I ever become The Queen of Beauty?” 
She clings to false hopes
And wonders,
Will she survive? 
Have she truly lived her life?
A sigh mixed with desperation and helplessness
Causes her to continue each day with the same thought
“ A Queen of Beauty, I will never become….”


Details | Free verse | |

Gratefulness

To be absolutely certain To be firmly convicted in principle and belief Is the scariest feeling of all But, like all feelings, it never lasts The conviction stays, but the mind wanders Deep into the zones of ostensible comfort Where it rests merely to frenzy Into the streets of opposition Straight into the absolute wrong But the feeling never lasts It returns to the minute certainty The mind becomes determined in the conviction it has embraced And the best feeling rises above the initial fear: Gratefulness
6-29-13


Details | Free verse | |

Offended

Offended 
is ignorance
a lack of understanding
silence 
is not for everyone

humans speak
and do things 
different than you
or your faction
true 
or untrue
or stretch truth

what's the worry?
stressing 
over someone else's beliefs 
takes you away 
from your own routine

offended 
is a waste of energy
needed for nothing
causing dangerous sparks
within one's mind
one's heart
one's soul
becomes contaminated
with preoccupations

vengeance breeds furious
often unexpected actions
of ill-will occur 
or changes for the worse 
creep 
in the shadows of good
growing
taking over
"spiritual kudzoo"
none could tame

extinguish your dealings
with petty rage
of another imperfect being's mouth
cancer vanishes easier
with early detection
MOVE ON!
or at least learn
from your polar opposite 


Details | Verse | |

Last Chance Saloon

NOTE: I don't find the time, neither do I have much inclination, to write a great deal these 
days. However, the occasional new piece gets composed, and this is one. I would like to take 
this opportunity to thank everyone - Ruben, Raul, Andrew, Elaine, Patricia, Carol, Adeleke, 
Krista, Trudi, Kristin, Bill, Shishir, Sami, James, Trudi and many, many others - who have 
been so kind, supportive and appreciative both now and in the past. You are stars. I am in 
your debt.

I know it's not the happiest piece, but it's what I have at the moment.

T.

Last Chance Saloon:

The deadbeat shuffle from Boardwalk to Boot Hill
Implores the synapse circuit of a short walk to the kill,
With one foot out of line one soon is gone
In Winter rains that fell all Summer long;
Never once did Zeus advise to pack a bag,
Only suck it up and tread the old main drag.

When first she shed her morals and her dress,
The channel burn adored her more than less,
Post-coital walks, romancing in the sun
Beat a path to living in the shadow of the gun;
As expectation always lets one down,
Rends the heart in two by softly skipping town.

From the stained-glass of an alcoholic haze
Wherein kaleidoscopic migraines snap and blaze,
The rusty barrelled gun scrapes at the head,
All the chambers full of coals and glowing red;
She resurfaces like some immortal doll,
And each bullet tastes of paracetamol.

So to raise the weary glass to mouth again,
To curse and toast her godforsaken name,
To down the medicine and down some more
And ride the bona-fide revolving bat-swing door;
Swear by saints alive to never leave this room,
No more chances left to chance in this last chance saloon.


Details | Lyric | |

Leave me with my dreams

Leave me with my dreams.

Leave me with my dreams
Cause I’m a dreaming fellow
Leave me here a pondering
With mind all calm and mellow
Picturing a better world
Where evil is no more
Let me dream of the harmony
Of a world all free of war.

It might never happen
Sometimes it seems to me
That a tadpole has more chance
Of swimming in the deep blue sea
But let me dream about it
It makes my heart feel warm
Let me dream of a world at peace
And this it be the norm.

Leave me with my dreaming
Of peace and harmony
Where God will rest within each heart
And a perfect world will be
Where everywhere becomes a space
Of sweetest liberty.

Leave me with my dreams
Maybe they’ll seep into you
Then peace and harmony might reign
In everything you do
I guess that someone has to dream
For something to be born
So if more folk did get to dreaming
There might be a brand new dawn.


Details | Free verse | |

When a Dream Ends and the Nightmare Begins

Walking upon shards of broken glass
with every faltering step I take
Travelling through life at haste
with no compass
steering  wheel or brake.

Trying to unravel a mass of tangled knots
Laying in life's gutter wounded
trying to liberate myself
from the putrid stench of obscurity
and not be forgot.

Mind full of unwanted clutter
swirling like a tempest
around and around
Life's din perpetrating the ear drums
with excruciating loud perpetual
grinding sound.

Lost in the harsh wilderness
battered by the wind
No one knows the things I've seen
or the places I have been.

Tied to the rocks
lashed and broken by the waves
cursed at birth
wake up from a dream 
and another nightmare
another battle to face today.


Details | Lyric | |

Summertime Re-Lyric

Summertime…and the livin’ is easy,                                                
Flowers growin’ and the sun’s sittin’ high.                                    
Your Daddy’s rich and your Momma’s so good lookin’;               
So hush, pretty baby…you got no reason to cry. 

One of these days, you’re gonna rise up smilin’.
Take a look around and think you’ve got it all.
You’ve got your Momma’s looks, all your Daddy’s money,
And all the boys in town are at your beck and call.

Summertime…and the livin’ is so easy,
Laughin’, singin’, havin’ so much fun.
No time to stop and think about your future
And what life will bring when your Summer’s  done.

‘Cause Summertime, it don’t last forever.
Breezes cool and the leaves begin to fall;
And in your quiet moments, you sit and wonder
How you've come so far, but have no love at all.

Yes, Summertime…and the livin’ was so easy; 
Ain’t it sad how fast the good times fly; 
And now your Momma’s looks and all your Daddy’s money
Another sweet, warm Summer’s day they cannot buy. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Summers end

Summers end

It’s here at last
There’s just two days to go
The summer days are fading fast
With all the sun’s fierce glow

The rains we hope will be here soon
We haven’t had rain for months
The heat is getting people down
It’s giving them the grumps.

It will be nice to see green grass
As the rain begins to fall
And burnt shrubs their full strength regain
As the weather grows more, cool

I really love the summer season
But I’m so glad when it’s gone
If only for one single reason
That heat goes on and on!!!

10 Septemnber2013 @1535hrs.


Details | Free verse | |

Healing Begins

I find myself sprawled on the floor
Frantically trying to gather the pieces
My heart has been shattered
Jagged, sharp, crimson colored shards
I lay wounded, unaware of my surrounding
The surface is hard and cold, a slab of granite
A crowd of onlookers, strangers stop to stare
They gasp in disbelief at the spectacle
I have a front row seat, standing room only
The sunlight has pierced my soul, I lay exposed
Heartbroken, abandoned, dignity is out the window
I'm holding a bloody big chunk of my heart
I tell myself, breathe in, breath out
I close my eyes, so that I may see with clarity
With eyes closed, the view is breathtaking
Healed, healthy, vibrant and alive
Still with my eyes closed, wide open,  I see the crowd
They begin to applaud, then quickly disperse
I become the lone witness as my heart heals itself
As the darkness explodes into sunlight, triumph
Delete sadness. Insert hope. 
I hear someone in the crowd singing my song

~Rick Berry


Details | Lyric | |

Reality Of Mind

The mind of the lost, is nowhere  inside.
Dreams of this twisted third eye.
Torturing images, no martyr could bear.
It's the craziness that evokes this primal fear.
Crazy in madness, a house of black cards.
A sand storm of terror, that pump the blood hard.
Fooled in this game, there is no win.
Welcome those feelings and let it all in.
 
How are you feeling? It's only inside.
How are you feeling? Is it burning your eyes?
How are you feeling? Lost and so blind.
How does it feel? In Reality of mind.
 
Chaotic is breathing, you feel yourself fall.
Slip from the grip of your reality's wall.
Awake in a nightmare, shedding red tears
Praying for sanity that no one will hear
Flesh is cold and dampened with sweat
your eyes in the demon are all that you fret.
Grasping at strings you pray that you'll live
The pay for you penance, one soul to give.
 
How are you feeling? It's only inside.
How are you feeling? Is it burning your eyes?
How are you feeling? Lost and so blind.
How does it feel? In Reality of mind.


Details | Rhyme | |

You Cried

You cried at losing, as some do;
Not I. Determined to accrue
That credit to my name
I courted and called fame,
I steeled myself and stood,
Rigid -- upright -- and would
Not deign reveal what graced
My form: two faces,
                              both mask-encased.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Need You

I need you
To clutch me tight and
Wipe my tears away.
Telling me 
‘I know it looks bad but it’ll get better’.
 
I need hope
To come along and
Recuse me from 
The ceaseless
Pit I recurrently fall into.
 
I need someone
To be there when
I have my blade.
To say
‘Don’t damage your beauty’.

But you aren’t there.

You don’t listen;
Not to me.
I’m never there for you,
You completely
Shut me out.
 
As if I don’t care.
Like I’m not good enough.
Too pathetic; too worthless.
Not worth
The trouble.
 
So no one takes 
My blade from me.
And the angry lines slash
My arm
In every direction.
 
So there is a hopeless void
Inside of me, 
That grows bigger
Every day.
As you push me further away from you.
 
And I cry, 
Every night I cry myself
To sleep. Focusing on beaten
Broken hearts.
Because without you there is no reason to go on.


Details | Blank verse | |

Goodbye for Now

large yellow diesel machines coughed
coughed thick black smoke, caught their breath
struggled convulsively and after a series of loud farts
assorted groans and mechanical creaks                                                       
lumbered like broken old men waiting to pee.
Oh, they worked that day, from sun up                                                                            till the orange red sky was upon them
shivering in the cold dark desert sand                                                  
parked together like defenseless tadpoles, 
shaking and quivering in the damp night air,                                            
their job done for another day.
Building what, sand ramps, that's what.                                                   
From nowhere to nowhere!
another notch in the creative history                                                        
duly recorded for potentates from the east
who understand & see cows in the sky                                                         
or not so pretty women with tight green skirts
whores, dirty mattresses and rats                                                                  
who love the companionship                                           
of pencil pushing addicts alcoholics                                                          
and assorted beasts of the mind                                                         
Squalor is the key here
rub your nose in crap is the meaning of their sage advice
promulgated by the ass kissing majority                                                   
who worship at the altar of mendacity
after all, they were at M.I.T. and were bored.                                                
Who gives a shtt! Publish, it must mean something                                      
If it doesn' they were the first to do it!                                                       
Eat flesh and die. Filthy flesh at that,
hardly fine dining, but that's another story.
Goodbye for now.


Details | Ballad | |

Capricorn, the mountain climber

Capricorn the mountain climber

The goat he is relentless
He'll cimb the higest hill
Just a wee bit at a time
With his gigantic will
He tends to take life seriously
But he can laugh at his own self
This man will try to seek his fortune
And accumulate some wealth.

He be the father of this Earth
He likes to take control
And sometimes he will be considered
As drab, and often dull
He's reliable, you can count on him
When you need to get things done
He'll often work so very hard
He'll forget to have some fun.

He has a lot of patience
And he can put his mind
A hundred percent on anything
And him you'll often find
Working out some problem
Until he gets it right
And for the people in his life
He'll put up quite a fight.

23 September 2013 @ 1422hrs.


Details | Concrete | |

It was always one-side


I never knew if you ever thought of me
So I kept my feeling to myself so for my own selfish
Reason I could keep you closer toward me.
But without warning you fell for another and easily
My heart was broken,yet and still I carried on with that
Fake smile.Never saying I love you,never telling you my
Growing feeling,before I knew it you left me alone in this
World,yes in this world which was so cold and heartless.
My skin grew cold when I never got to say what was always
On my twisting mind. When I smile I really cried,When I laughed
I really was frowning,When I would look at you looking in you eyes
And knew this was a feeling of disappointment since it been one-sided
Since the first time we meet but now you've gone and left me in a world
Which is so cold only you made it warm enough to go on.
If I only could have told you the truth would you had not been running away?
My heart aches my bones break my head numb,to think I feel in love
with a guy who knew only how to make me cry.Just exactly what I am I?
This was our farewell even if it was all one-sided just telling you now 

I honestly always will love you


This is for the man I loved who feel's for another....and he passed away 09/29/12 saturday....May you rest in peace Saul and come back to me soon


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Death Of A Believer

        DEATH OF A BELIEVER
The death of soul steals slowly through the years
the fog of mind that's never known to be;
brought on by laughter, love, and hate and tears
the fate of all that few can ever see.

It brings the withering of life, and all its leaves,
once green and shining in the morning sun,
now setting on it all, in evening grieves
for lack of interest in what life has done.

Compassion leaves the mind, once fired and prime
and old and tired now beats the heart we knew
life now mundaned by passing of all time,
there's nothing left the heart would like to do.

     Old man, you're numbered to your final breath
      and no one cares for all your sweat and tears,
    your rest is not until it's done in death,
      but keep the faith in what you've done for years.
            © ron wilson


Details | Rhyme | |

Betwixt your Twain

 

The two logics of twain can drive one insane if one doesn’t learn refrain from the one marked as Cain learning refrain, voids the pain Love marked concept as Cain also Able precept was very plain that a soul might learn refrain that two brothers avoid the pain Love is life and voids afford pain The reality is of the twain balance betwixt your twain with love now and again learn in life to avoid pain no man can serve logics twain… Selah


Details | Triolet | |

Doubt

 
Every hour every minute in doubt
I don't know what to do
All these ideas and thoughts get out
Every hour every minute in doubt
Decisions unable to leave my mouth
Please, God sent me a clue
Every hour every minute in doubt
I don't know what to do


Details | Light Poetry | |

I'm Walking Away

My Eyes
Seem Cold
You Hurt
Them So
My Hand
You Shook
My First
You Took
My Heart
Discarded
You Vowed
Then Parted
My Soul
Does Hurt
You Smirk
Then Curse 
My Stand
You Shook
My Grasp
You Felt
On Tight
I Held
You Pulled
I Fought
My Neck 
You Caught
My Cross
Did Fall
Within That 
Moment 
   I
Dropped 
The 
Ball
   My Eyes
See Clear
For Pity
You Can't
Put In Them
I'll Shed No
Tears For
Pain I've 
Carried 
Within Them
For There's
Been
Too Much 
Hurt, For
Me To Stay
And My Only
Choice Is
  To 
Walk
Away


Details | Free verse | |

Hourglass, spindle and lifeless Doll Free Verse Version

String wrapped around a spindle
Unwinding as an hourglass marks time
Sand trickles to the chamber below
Marking the moments of a life not truly lived
The sound of silence begins to drive him mad
Traveling back in time
To the nightmare of a life of dread 
Memories that should never be relived
The torture chamber of his mind
Screams in the darkness
Rocking to an internal beat
Feeling a pain to deep to express
Betrayal
Confusion
You could not protect her from him
She seemed so small
Holding that lifeless doll
Rocking there on that floor
That same internal beat
Together you cried
Together you rocked
A clock strikes
Silence is broken
The hourglass sits
A pile of white sand
If only time could truly stop
He winds the string back onto the spindle
Then he rocks
Alone in the dark
Thinking of her lifeless doll


Details | Ballad | |

A Better Life...

A Better Life

I don't know why she hides,
I don't know why she shivers,
I don't know why she cries,
I don't know why she quivers,

Daddy's girl is all alone,
And I don't know how to help her,
Daddy's world is all but blown,
And I don't know what to tell her,

What happened to her confidence,
And her self assured way,
Which used to be so prominent,
In all she did or would say,

Who stole my little girl’s heart,
And drove her to such confusion,
She now slowly does her part,
As if all she has is illusion,

She knows I would kill any other man,
For doing such harm to my little girl,
But this is much more than I can stand,
As it has forever blown apart my world,

They took ‘steps’ to the next level,
And now they each look to me in despair,
I warned them each to be careful,
But the forbidden fruit they shared,

Now I look at one without trust,
Yet I still love my son so very much,
I still hold her distant as I must,
But she needs Daddy’s healing touch,

Why do I have to be the bad guy,
When my children need my help,
I pushed one out and I still cry,
While I can't help her help herself,

There is no way to win here,
And my tears won't stop falling,
I have lost them both I fear,
And my fears won't stop calling,

I don’t know what to do anymore,
Or how I can help either of them,
Both children my heart cries out for,
But the truth is neither can win, 

And for this my darling kids,
I am so sorry I can’t decide,
Which to disown or which to kiss,
When I am actually on both your sides,

So I pray that both her and him,
Of whom I am so very proud,
Do not give up and become victims,
Who wear this pain like a shroud,

I pray both of you hear my advice,
Get over this hardship and understand,
This lesson with its terrible price,
Is one where you do as best you can,

To forgive and move on from here,
Without Dad having to choose a side,
And to let go of all that you fear,
If you want to grow to have a better life.


Details | Rhyme | |

weathering the storm

there is a storm deep in me
          skies turn dark within my mind
a raging tsunami begging to be free
          clouds obscure the truth to find
tidal waves crashing forcibly
          lightning strikes and i am blind
battering my body for all to see
          thunder tramples my heart to grind
pain lashes out to ignore my plea
          as winds howl and i am resigned


to my fate, 
          my life, 
                    my time.





Details | Prose Poetry | |

Grandad's Missing

There's a void, now
Where once a steadfast heart beat time
The soul in perfect harmony with life's uncertain pulse
With those who clambered eagerly in solace or in joy
To scale that mighty pinnacle
The Rock, within the bosom of the family

There's a void, now
But marvel at the structure, the firmness of the ground beneath
The strata richly layered with wisdom of generations past
A fault free seam constructing firm foundations
Binding those within the bosom of the family

There's a void, now
A hollow cavern 
echoing the anger and the pain
Trust time; it has no fear of finite elements
The source of unremitting pain
Within the bosom of the family

There's a void, now
So fill the emptiness and catalogue the memories
Harvesting the richness of their meaning
The fullness of the seed sown long ago
To bloom forever within the bosom of the family


Details | I do not know? | |

Anger Pain and Dramatic Stress

Anger, pain and dramatic stress 
The 3 things that I possess
Me, Reggie is okay at times
I sometimes choose to confide in my rhymes
I express my feelings through a pen
Just like some women get satisfaction through men.
This isn’t a poem because this is a thought
I have thoughts moving so fast, just too fast to be caught.
I hate being stressed
Just like I hate being possessed
I don’t mean to sound evil and mean
But I am different from the other people you have seen.
This is not a poem…this is a thought
I have thoughts moving so fast that they can’t be caught.
I have it good to some…others have it good to me
Some don’t realize how hard it is to be
A poet…it’s hard writin’ poetry with a lot of feeling
You feel forced to write something appealing
You break down cause cus’ you feel an obligation
To write good poetry that there breaks your concentration
I found a solution that my mind’s fighting
Maybe I should stop all the poetry and all the writing
These are fast ideas too fast to be caught
This isn’t a poem this is just a thought


Details | I do not know? | |

Let Me Sleep Until the Dawn

Now I lay beneath the covers, worldly thoughts I try to smother,
Sleep, a pleasure like no other, eyes are closed, I begin to yawn.
Pray to the Lord my soul to keep. Plump my pillow and snuggle deep,
Sigh and settle, welcome sleep. Mr. Sandman dream me a dream,
Show me a sight I've never seen, bring me visions to muse upon;
Let me sleep until the dawn.

It doesn't seem too much to ask, nightly sleep after daily tasks.
Let me sip from a soothing flask, no further need to carry on;
Tomorrow is another day -- another day to fight the fray,
Another day to harvest hay. Never mind the resolutions,
Problems having no solutions, the curtains of the day are drawn; 
Want to sleep until the dawn.

Now, I begin to feel a twitch, a muscle spasm, now an itch.
I really hate to whine and b----, but this condition can't go on.
Turn on the light, read my book, squint, give the clock a second look,
Wonder how many pills I took. Covers rumpled, twisted, tangled,
I'm annoyed, nerves are jangled. Maybe, turn the radio on; 
I need sleep before the dawn.

Think I'll go down and watch TV, something relaxing -- history,
maybe drama or mystery, don't want anything that's too long,
don't want to think or contemplate, would be nice just to vegetate,
If it's too slow I ruminate. Letterman is good for a laugh,
just in time for the second half. Shopping channel has got a con;
I can't believe I've got this on.

Hush sleepy papa don't you cry, sleep will come to you by and by,
Somebody sing a lullaby. Who's that singin’ that rockin’ song?
In the wee hours of the morning, thoughts arrive without a warning,
evil thoughts like hornets swarming, spoken by a voice inside me,
meant to weaken and deride me, I'm not worthy to carry on.
No time to sleep, here comes the dawn.


Details | Acrostic | |

Everytime I Look Around The Corner

I live a life in a place where alcohol violence reigns supreme/ 
over a dying culture split in se7en groups of se7enty times se7en of rival teams/
 I hear my brothers hollers I hear my sisters screams/ 
I see people live among broken glass like that of many broken dreams/
 I sometimes wish I could not see what my two eyes sometimes see/ 
I cant act blind as if it were just a brush off my sleeve/
 The more I lose in life the more it seems the less I need/
 I try and overcome my own selfish greed/ 
I got a child on the way I now look at what kind of role model I'd be/ 
I was was incarcerated so I must not take for granted for the simple fact that Im free/
 But it hard with tattoos on my face in place where tattoos like mine seem a disgrace/
 Lord watch over me as I take last place in this life game race/ 
It not a matter of being first second or third Lord cuz all I need iz your grace/
 help me to better walk off this destructive road and slow my pace/ 
Just take me now if Im done with your purpose if thats the case/
Because I dont want to live like I got to look over my shoulder right around the corner....


Details | Free verse | |

How Far Will You Fly

How far will you fly?
Cross continent? Moonward?
Across the room?
When will you depart?
Through which gate?
Let me fly with you.
You won't even notice me,
On the wing,
Clinging for life (and love).
Why do you flee me,
choosing a destination
from which it will be
impossible
to book a return?


Details | Light Poetry | |

Tomorrow

We don’t know what tomorrow brings
So we just can’t speculate
And it will make no sense
For us to just sit down and wait

The love we found today
We both know it’s real and true
All love with face some obstacles’
But love will always make it through

Some people will try to hold back
What they are feeling in their heart
When they know this love is a fairy tale
Romance Right from the very start

We are worrying about the future
Bout the unknown is like a blank page
But god can close the curtains anytime
Down on any one’s stage

I know a man who loves woman
He falls for her heart and soul
And his parents says it’s crazy
He’s too young and she’s too old

So they stop them from getting marry
Causing years of pain and sorrow
While driving he got in accident today
And they will bury him tomorrow

And the wound in her heart won’t stop bleeding
And every breathe she wish was the last she take
A little boy calls his dad, saying look, look ,dad
And they found her body floating in the lake

His parents was worried bout the future
Although they know it was unknown
But still they plant the seeds of pain
Now look what it has grown

Why didn’t they let them be together?
For today all that remains is sorrow
For trying to change the course of true love
They have taken away their tomorrow

For today they would have been married
And build a happy home of love
But now they are two lost souls
Forever roaming the world above

Some times one year of happiness
Is worth 100 years of being alone
For as long as two hearts are true
Forever the flowers of love will bloom

And as long as there are stars in the sky
And the waves must come to the shore
People of all different ages
Will be falling in love forever more

But what if tomorrow never comes
And you let today go
Then the real magic of true love
You will never get to know


Details | Free verse | |

New Age Chemical Warfare

Memory, oh sweet memory, 
Lost in dizziness, but found.
Excite my brain to joyfulness.
Pain is sometimes lethal.

Memory loss is just one warning sign of this war.
Add to that: headaches, depression, oh, the mental pain.
Numbness, insomnia, heart palpations, and more, begin slowly.
From whence comes your sweet deception?
My bones ache and I cannot breath in life's memory.
Lost in my own fantasy with dizziness.
Imagining a chemical warfare against the masses.
Common folks like you and me but subjugated peons.
Mushy brains found among the young and innocent thin.
Excite my brain with your pondering, my muse.
To you, I owe this mysterious inkling.
A powerful infiltration, a plan concocted by the enemy.
Chemical warfare on the home front, disguised as pleasure.
Marketed among the unsuspecting –

Aspertine is thy name oh great deceiver
In the name of sweetness, mental acuity dies.
Freely given to the soldiers in Desert Storm, diet soda! 
The Plan: Conquer a great nation from within.
Infiltrate every aspect of life in a well-laid plan.
Thus, food and drink may lead to a nation's folly.
Slowly slipping away our freedom to be US. 
Quietly.  Unobtrusively.  Ingeniously.  Irreversibly!
Joyfulness, visit me; remove this pain for it is great.

Chemical warfare kills.
Sometimes, we close our eyes.
But we must not.
Lest it becomes lethal to our free nation –

© March 17, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: Et cetera Free Poetry 
Sponsor:  Debbie Guzzi

RELATED LINK: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/11/06/aspartame-
most-dangerous-substance-added-to-food.aspx



Details | Rhyme | |

Nothing More Or Less

Millions of lives and souls untold
And to account it all
Words, lines, films
Imagination trims
A sliver of soft, scarlet ribbon
Hollywood rounds
Quills deliver
Writers flare with passion so strong
Filling minds with fantasies, reveries, histories
Tragedies
We consume it all like freshly baked bread
We feed until we are engorged and fed
A viral, universal mess
Ideas and unmade memories
Nothing more or less

My eyes remain glued to the screen
Living it all out
Tears dare to flow—to doubt
I should have thought of that
Can I truly let myself believe,
Someone else lived that!
Pound away your directors, script-writers, fighters
For miles and miles of stories remain unread
While the unknown remain in the grounds of humble malnourishment
Dead
Careers for the mind with a twist of the fable
Left us savage for the meal and the crumbs under the table
I can never let the raw truth rest
Naked, bare and empty—soothed
Nothing more or less

I cringed for originality 
Observed the world through the unedited scripts
The very act, the poetry pact
The wild animal drooling in the back
I was slapped in the face by my boss who had cracked
As the reviews bloated less and less
They wanted something awful, something flaw-ful—something new
And this empty brain in agony—HISSED 
I have lived in no epic battle of account
Of the collateral sufferings of my brothers
The stories the red carpet smothers
And still I ache to create
Before the other ones discover
I returned with ‘‘oh me’s’ and ‘oh my’s’’
With a work of pure genius—a storybook of lies
Nothing more or less

Little have I lacked to dream
Of contortioned pulls and dramatic fire
Stories that rarely brittle or tire
I fiddled with precious glass on edge
Foully eager for self-damage
As if it would trigger some legitimate spark 
Searching for creatures and features in the dark
No one unlocked the passage that night
For the starving idea-parched malice of right
But all welcomed with open arms
A pale mannequin filled with jewels and charms
Consuming, fuming dooming
All ghosts hoping, screaming, looming
Hoping that one day they would find themselves on the big screen
Their legacy real as it can possibly get
Nothing more or less


Details | Sonnet | |

CHOICE

          CHOICE
I'll be what I must be, in spite of me
as life won't always give the things I choose
and so I have to make what has to be
into the things my life and I can use.

All roads don't lead to Rome, as it's been said,
but some to Paris, and a little fun,
so I will change the path that I would dread
to go to where I choose, when I am done;

I'll not be forced into a better scheme
if I can't see the end result my way
if it's not part of what my heart can dream
it never will come to the light of day;

   All things can change, if I have any voice
    in what they are, and I will make the choice.


Details | Free verse | |

Heartbreak

He wants to say "I love you,"
But keeps it to "Goodnight."
Because love would mean some falling,
and she's afraid of heights.

T.K


Details | Rhyme | |

Not Sofa King Cool


          A
College Dorm sleeps
Four per room
Keg party 
Loud
Too much Boom

           A
Drunk freshman sleeps
Where he falls
Coeds toss him on 
The sofa 
Instead of snooze in
the halls

            A 
Sorority girl 
Named him  
“Sofa King Tool”
Now he feels like a Fool
Not Sofa King Cool


Details | Senryu | |

~Longing For Happiness~

On This Day
Within My Heart
Dwells The Loneliness That Haunts Me


Details | Rhyme | |

Is This a Toll Call

We have hurled to heaven
a polished, golden disk
inscribed with symbols of our race.
And, night and day, we beam
a stream of radio waves to space.
We broadcast, in wide spectrum,
diffuse and scattered signals
from here to where(?).
We also listen, long and hard,
for whatever we may hear.
In our attempts to span the void,
what should we say to humanoid
or other minds that we might find?
Should we speak of rock; of crow of cock?
Of the once-fiery cores of stars -- collapsed
and denser now than densest stone?
Of light that's darker far than any
depth of night; of pulse; of tone?
Shall we speak of hair, and air? Of hints?
Of lava, seeped or spewed from vents?
Of sea-borne or of plains-born zephyrs?
Of hanging plant or swaying palm?
Shall we touch upon the calm
of thin, free ions strewn
through much of soupy space?
Shall we chat of heat and ice;
of energy unleashed? Of spark and flash;
of mean and nice -- of atom, or of Eve?
Shall we speak of cosmos and of bowers?
Of farm? Of flowers? Of yours and ours?
Of nothing? Of zero and of hero?
Of evil and of good?
Shall we talk of hate and haste;
of love; of taste -- below; above;
around? Of iron and of wood?
Or should we stick to lectures on
celestial navigation and our tools?
Can we talk? May we sing?
Will our phones ever ring
providing good connections,
bringing news that, pretensions
all aside, we're not the universe's
only singular and lonely fools.


Details | Acrostic | |

LOST TEAR SOBS



L ow clouds droop as she sits on rumpled gown 
O aths of pale secrets falling through ravaged sleeves
S omber cheeks line a hollowed tract, cast down
T iredness all around; steep as barb- wired leaves. 

T ainted droplet hides on eyelid’s corner
E ncasing her passages streaked with pain,
A s black stars perch on withered flowers
R eflecting shadows ruptured, glimpses wane.

S ilently her thoughts prick sparse winds, to blow
O pening dam of jarred beats from love’s past haze;
B eyond snuffed wails, lost tear plunges full flow
S ullen as thorns, she weeps in requiem sways. 




Black-Eyed Susan's Lost Contest


Details | Lyric | |

Blue Mountain

Climb high on Blue Mountain,
hug the dark rain clouds; 
they too will burst into tears 
that water concrete jungles 
and wash traces of negro blood 
from asphalt

Climb high on Blue Mountain 
and bawl your green eyes red 
Your womb is ancient, futile, 
never to shed another, 
another to choose this calamity

Climb high on Blue Mountain, 
close to the heavens 
but far away from creator
Where he is there’s jubilation
Cry tears red like Pharaoh’s plague, 
and when you alight 
retreat down your crooked way

What is it that jungle wished for, pounds of flesh?
Climb high on Blue Mountain 
and look out
You cried your green eyes shut 
but there are no changes; 
you were void of vision 
and concrete must be fed 
with blood and tears 
Climb high on Blue Mountain 
and look at your creation 


Details | Free verse | |

Invicible Exist

Let us journey 
In side unknown world 
Invincible people 
An entry 
Without exists
Narrow passage 
Decaying rose 
Gambler of life
Is there a way out ?

Riding in tunnel of life 
From spirituality 
To Disability 
Causalities
Wise word of maturity 

My blood 
Your veins 
To live in duality 

Resting and wave 
Floating Angels
Grips my hands 
Speck of light 
In this immortality

15/05/11
If this a poem then am dreamin 


Details | Rhyme | |

Get out of my Heart

I lay, dripping, soaked within a dark sweat,
seeing and hearing your soft voice abet.
I want to run, to leave this merciless realm,
but you pull me closer, without a choice at helm.
Get out of my dreams.

I miss you, but I hate you, every last memory.
You taunt my every being, you’re all that I see.
I see you in the crowds, or when I’m all alone.
You’re here and there, on your heartless throne.
Why couldn’t you stay?
Get out of my life.

I hear your laughter and see your beautiful smile.
Once so beautiful, now helping others with guile.
You’re now decayed, withering into shallow dust.
I loved you so much, and never again will I trust.
Get out of my head.

Tears I weep, when others aren’t around to see –
I remember the days, the months and years I bleed.
I try to forget, and to hate you and your choices.
But all I can hear are these damn forgiving voices.
Maybe I am what you proclaim me to be.
Was I really that monster, that demon you see?
I hate what I love and love what I hate.
I try to erase our past, and to claim it our fate.
But I can’t let go, you’re all that I hear and see.
I wished you could have loved, that loathsome “me”.
Get out of my heart.


Details | Ballad | |

The sunyassin

As far as I know this is a true story about Alexandra the great...Peter



The Sannyasin.

Alexander said to Dandamis
"Old man you come with me
For I need me a sannyasin
To take across the seas.
Hey you be just a beggar man
I'll make you rich indeed
You'll live a life of luxury
With everything you need.

Dandamis standing naked there
With silence in his essence
He had no fear at all did he
In the mighty leaders presence.
He said "I'll give you nothing friend
And there's nothing that I need
So Alexandra drew his sword
Tried to make the beggar plead.

Dandamis laughed and said these words
With power in his voice
"You can put that sword right through my heart
My friend, that be your choice.
But I left this body long ago
I have no use for it
So pierce this heart my fine young friend
It won't harm me a bit.

Alexander he was beaten
By a fearless beggar man
Though he had won most of the world
Dandamis foiled his plans.
The beggar said "You say you're great
But that's not true at all
For any man that thinks he's great
He be merely a fool


Details | Free verse | |

I Thumbed My Way

I thumbed my way across the states,
flew over oceans. I lost myself
in city crowds, tried the boundaries
of my brain's inventiveness --
yet I did not outrun Time.
I did the things some young men do,
avoided others. Years shrunk the heights:
my expectations changed.
I fell and climbed.
The journey still excites;
the roads still wind.
And, still, there is much to see.
That has become enough for me;
but I'll never outrun Time.


Details | Lyric | |

Your Betrayal

I wish that I' had ESP, I would have known right from the start
The things that I found out too late, that finally pulled us apart
What I found out too late, that I should have heard from you
There was another in your life and she had been there from the start
All the times that we'd been out since that night that we had met
I did not have a clue that there was someone else in your life
Finally, I found out for myself, that put a knife right in my heart
I found this woman's name was Anne and in fact, she was your wife

I felt that I could trust you then, I was so sure that I was right
You made me feel good about myself and made everything seem bright
You always knew what to say, the words you used were very nice
You had a way of doing things that always turned out right
We had rides out to the country, and went out to the County Fair
I felt that you had fallen for me,and that you really cared
Until the day came along when you caused me so much pain
A day that I never want to be repeated in my life again

If I could get back at you for all the pain that you have caused
I would be so happy that I could again start to enjoy my life
The way that I should have lived it, without all this pain and strife 
You could have saved me so much pain, if you had said you had a wife
Now I have found a way to erase the pain that you have caused
Because love found me and showed me how to love again once more
I can't wait now to start again in this new and exciting life.
A man has just proposed to me and asked me"will you be my wife?"

This proves to me there always is a way to turn things all around
That gives you back the will to live again and purpose in your life
When you've almost given up on life and things really get you down
You feel that there is no more fun in life for you that can be found
So everyday now, try to change the thoughts that you had before
Give yourself a chance to let love again come through your door
One day soon,someone you'll see will again bring love to your life
They will take you by the hand and ask you to be their wife.


Details | I do not know? | |

I am...

I am a poet writing of my pain
I am a person living a life of shame
I am your daughter, hiding my depression
I am your sister, striving to make a great impression
I am your friend acting like I'm fine
I am a dreamer, wishing this life, wasn't mine
I am a girl who struggles with suicide
I am a teenager, pushing her tears aside







Side note: (Writing for other ladies out there, not so much myself, so don't worry about me)


Details | Free verse | |

Sound and Movement

"Move!" sounds command.
I stir, arise, lift a laggard hand.
Can movement mark with magic
All latent space?
Shall thoughtless motion,
Mere mindless flurry,
Confer importance
On the empty hour?
"Speak!" rings out.
Sing I, then, quavery syllables
Against the quiet as though
Sound could skirt the still
Or melody make right
The evils of the night.
Think: none judge me harshly now
Save sour I, my mirthless self.
Song stops.
So solitude
Into stony silence slips.


Details | Free verse | |

The Runner

If ever a frailty should be rued,
then my emotional resistance of
those who hold my affection dearest
to them, is the sin that equates my soul
with the essence of a Hitler, and condemns
my name to the highest degree of infamy,
While my heart longs to be understood, my
fear of abandonment dictates my legs to gain
distance as each loving gesture is offered in
repetition, Persistently they reach, only to be
disregarded, and embody me within my shame,

Friends and family alike, endure the coldness
of my introverted haven, staring into my eyes
in hopes of disconfirming the projected emptiness
that flows from actions, words, or lack of both,
As they hurt from me, I scream for them in silence,
A deafening continuous stream of soundlessness,
that elevates my withheld pain from ache to harrowing,
Yet they can only assume the contents of this confession,
For my words go directly from mind to paper, and 
never see the eyes of those who need to know this tenderness,

To express such powerful statements and risk the familiar
sting of neglect or abandonment once more, is a fear that
surpasses every shameful tear, haunting my thoughts as
a reminder that lives on insomnia, thus I remain devoted 
to a faithful vow of solidarity that keeps me sane and sheltered,
Moving at a constant pace, racing against my own fright, holding
every term or phrase of endearment within, and running from a
past that will not be relived by my decree, Alas, with mortal lungs,
 mechanical legs, and a heart that lies somewhere between the two, 
I run,
for and from, 
the feeling I desire most....


Details | Personification | |

THROUGH IT ALL

Frightened; scared; worrisome, that's how I am..
Not that I am so ****ed up or too bad..
Rather I am caring so much...
Or maybe I have experienced too much..

I built up walls to protect myself...
I restricted myself to rules and regulations..
I defined and structured ways to be in control..
I followed a pattern to avoid dominion...

Maybe because of how I have grew up..
Maybe because of how the persons treated me..
Maybe because of how situations challenge me..
Maybe because of actual experience..

True, I am almost exactly like that..
Few have taken the time and effort to discover me..
That..

Behind those smiles are hidden pains to burst..
Behind those silence are quiet tears waiting to break..
Behind those hugs are yearnings of affection.
Behind those compositions are me: myself...

Yet, I have always been hopeful...
Always holding on...
Not that of pretentions.
Nor to give good impression..

Rather, It is because of that burning faith..
It is because of that selfless love...

Didn't I laugh hard until I'm teary eyed..
Didn't I sing so much until my voice hoarse..
Didn't I eat so much that I burp..
Didn't I given so much that I'm remembered...
Didn't I still love so much that I don't expect any returns..

I lie to protect people I love..
I break rules to get closer to what I want..
I work hard to attain my dreams...
I try to be the happy me to me others happy..

I am living my life the way I know right..
I made mistakes and even failed..
but, I rejoice to acknowledge these didn't stop me..
These didn't lead me to quit..

I rise up..
I stood up..
I am still here..
God, helped me through it all..

by: olive_eloi
02/10/2013
1:37pm

-------+-----**


Details | Couplet | |

Writer's Block

You know what I hate about writer’s block,
How my creativity is hidden behind a lock;

Time ticks away as I stare at my screen,
My heart beating faster from the strain of caffeine;

The cursor flashing lulls me to doze,
Til a fly lands smack on the tip of my nose;

I swing at the fly and glance at the clock,
How did 10 AM turn into 5 O’clock;

I stand and I stretch and then walk away,
And say goodbye to another wasted day;

Maybe tomorrow will inspire my brain,
Or I could be slowly going insane…


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Lunar Madness

              LUNAR MADNESS
His thought; desire; that driving dream he knew;
so real within his heart and living soul;
the thing he took and fed until it grew,
into the part of life that made him whole;
by doing things that people seldom do
to make it real, and reach his cherished goal!
   For who but fools, whose minds are now in tune,
   would take a thought, and bounce it off the moon?