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Tree Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Tree

These Tree Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Tree. These are the best examples of Tree Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | I do not know? |

TROLIUS TROLL

Remember the story 
of Billy Goats Gruff?
The troll under the bridge,
and all of that stuff?
If you liked that old story
it's all good and well,
but it isn't at all 
the troll tale I will tell.

Now, Trolius Troll 
was a timorous soul;
A more timid troll
you never shall see.
He lived in a hole 
in the base of the bole,
(that is, the trunk) 
of a turpentine tree.  
                                    
Young Trolius Troll, 
I ask you to note,
is a strict vegetarian; 
he does not eat goat.
You might not believe me,
but, begging your pardon,
he eats only produce
from his vegetable garden.

One day, after harvesting 
some of his crop,
with a basket of turnips,
with some carrots on top, 
he strode up the path, 
just as proud as could be,
toward his home in the trunk 
of the turpentine tree.
                                    
Then, outside the door
of his pine tree abode,
was a sight that made
Trolius Troll drop his load.
There, with a chainsaw 
and a double-bit ax,
stood a brawny, black bearded, 
blue eyed lumberjack.
                                    
With his feet wide apart 
on the green, grassy ground,
the lumberjack looked 
the troll's tree up and down--
Then, laying the ax 
on a moist, mossy bank,
he gave the saw's start rope 
a sudden, sharp yank.

With a white puff of smoke 
and an ear splitting sound,
the saw shattered the silence 
for acres around.
The lumberjack stepped 
to the tree's sturdy base
with a smile of delight 
on his black-bearded face.
                                      
Then, the usually timorous
troll gave a shout,
and, pounding his chest,
he went leaping about.
With a wild snarl of rage 
and a blood chilling wail,
the once timid Trolius 
charged up the trail.
                                    
The brave lumberjack 
was stricken with awe.
He turned from the tree, 
and dropped the chain saw.
Through the ferns and the bushes 
the tree feller ran.
and he never returned 
to the forest again.
                                  
And so ends a story,
that some might find droll,
of a timid and timorous
tree dwelling troll.                             
But its message is clear,
it’s as clear as can be:  
You may monkey about with Trolius, friend,  
but you’d better not mess with his tree.


Details | Light Poetry |

Mountain Lake Inspiration

Mountain Lake is my favorite place to write
under shade tree are my pencil, paper, and pole.
Scribble down words while waiting for a bite
fishing my most popular angling hole.

Fish are jumping all around hook and line
small cork sits still and does not move or fade.
Patiently I sit in wait for that fish to dine
beneath weeping willow of cool tree shade.

Inspiration overwhelms biding snare
while creative mind laggardly transcends.
In far distance I see lone grizzly bear
and leave a good fishing pole to his friends.

Copyright © 2011 By Caryl S. Muzzey

Fourth Place Winner ~ "Inspired” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Miranda Lambert
July 20, 2011


Details | Cowboy |

PIKES PEAK CRANKY CRITTER CONFAB

Up in Colorado, in the forests of Pikes Peak
A cranky critters conference was held just this week
It was led by a mouse, 3 legs, whiskerless & without tail
"Against a common foe!" He said "We must Unite! We must prevail!"

He hobbled out to the edge of the woods & pointed toward a house
In that house, I once lived a good life, a young & healthy mouse
Then one day the rancher's wife decided she'd had enough
I will say she is a worthy adversary, Mercy she was tough!

He looked around at all the critters, weasel, skunk & squirrel
& said "I hate to admit it but I was bested by a girl!"
Its true, I escaped alive but she got her trophies, too
For I left my tail, paws & whiskers stuck there in her glue 

The squirrel spoke up in a streetwise Brando voice
I'll accept the challenge! For this mission, I am the best choice!
I know this lady well, having enjoyed seeds & nuts out on her deck
I am not afraid of her & will show her we deserve respect

So the squirrel plotted & waited until the time was right
He saw his chance & took it while in the birds she took delight
He scampered up a pine tree & scurried out on to a branch
While she was distracted with a phone call & a pretty bird, he seized his chance

He took a flying leap, landing square on her blond head
Taking great delight in her squeals of surprise & dread
He then let loose with a torrent of the defecation sort
"That's for all the dead & walking wounded!" was his parting retort
 
The moral of this story, for one there must be
Is be mindful of avenging squirrels when you sit beneath a tree 


Details | Narrative |

MAMA CAT AND HER GANG

My son and his family drove down from the big city,
out to the countryside with open fields and steams.
They brought their standard golden poodle along, 
a curly-haired fellow, name of Timmy.
Timmy had never seen a cat;
not even a mole or a furry rat.
Visiting country kin, he was checking things out.

Everything went fine that very first day.
Cats went about paying him no mind.
He walked about just passing time.
On that second day there was a big mistake.
Being a city dog with more worldy ways,
to add pleasure to his hum-drum days,
he thought it time to befriend these country kin.
 
The cats had never seen a dog this small,
only those on stilts, big, long and tall, 
like Pyrenees, big wide mouths and teeth to match.
With barking big dogs on the scene,
up a tree they squirreled, never to be seen.
But this golden-haired fellow, with city clout--
they’d give him benefit of instinctive doubt.

Mama cat was even so bold 
to sniff this city slicker right on the nose.
Sizing him up all the while, a friendly rat, she surmised,
a might bigger than some she had seen,
playing cat and mouse, yet acting so coy;  
that is, until that overgrown golden-haired rat  
walked up to Mama’s black baby boy.

Mama’s two other sons, another black and a blue,
began to gather nearer this city dweller, too.
Timmy politely extended his nose.
black son cat extended his razor-sharp claws,
with a bristled tail and fierce hissing jaws. 
Timmy let out with a painful yelp,
as Mama cat called all boys in for help.

Cats surrounded and gave chase to the dog,
life-fearing circles around the cedar tree he’d log;
four hissing cats hot on his tail,
poor Timmy yelping in a desperate wail.
The master of Timmy gave rescue,  
but Mama cat and her three grown sons,
strutting in pride, putting a dog on the run. 



Written by:  Carolyn Henderson
For Constance LaFrance's Cat Poem Contest
Won 9th Place


Details | Light Poetry |

The Bowing Tree

We were so pathetic our first year of marriage. They say that being poor builds character, maybe that explains it. 
 

We were married way too young to ever have much money, The thought of spending for a Christmas tree seemed to be too funny. We decided that we would do without to save cash on which to live, Because the cost of even a meager tree was more than we could give. One night on my way home from work I followed a tree barring truck, A pothole hit and a tree flew off it seemed I’d had some luck. I took it home to my new bride and the sight lit up her eyes, She decided to make decorations for this Christmas tree surprise. So while I went to find a stand, she started to pop some corn, She took a needle and threaded them and soon the tree adorned. She cut out cardboard stars and bells in foil they then got covered, I set the tree up in its stand and that’s when a problem was discovered. There was something wrong with the trunk of our little Christmas tree, It curved so badly that when it stood up it made the letter “C”. Without some help it couldn’t stand so to the top we tied a rope. To the closet rod it got fastened to hold it upright was our hope. When the door to the closet slid shut tight the tree stood proud and tall, With its aluminum decorations and popcorn strands it really had it all. When we opened the door to get our coats the rope would always slack, And the little tree would bow to us and we would bow right back. Many years have passed since then and now our house is full of trees, But none of them are as polite as our first that was so eager to please.


Details | Haiku |

ZOOKEEPER

Lookin' after pests
Keepin' a CLOSE eye on 'em
"Those wild animals!"

Roamin' around zoo
Searchin' for sneaky monkey
Hidin' in a tree

Zookeeper gets mad
"Where's Marty, the smartypants!?"
"He TOOK my cage keys!"


Details | Rhyme |

Pre-Lit Trees


PRE-LIT TREES

Pre-lit Christmas trees are great
As long as all of the lights burn
But when the lights begin to go
There's a lesson to be learned

Though you admired your pre-lit tree
So beautifully all decked out
When the lights go out, the glow is gone
And your wife begins to pout

So off to Wal-Mart for replacements
Which you must carefully thread
Among the ornaments and pre-lit strands
Where all the lights are dead

After the holidays have passed
The tree now must come down
Minus all the pre-lit bulbs
Once all the connections are found

You finally get them off the tree
In a tangled mass on the floor
Dare you try to test them
To see if they'll burn any more

You decide the trash bin is better
And my advice to you would be
Save yourself some trouble
Don't buy a pre-lit tree 


	Curtis Moorman
	6 January 2012


Details | Burlesque |

Me and The tree

I look at this tree-
which quite frankly reminds me of me.
Strong, firm, flows so beautifully.

My moods are like the leaves-
forever changing so colorfully. 
At times my hearts feels  like, after the coldest winter for a tree .
and it takes timefor me to rebuild my beauty.
It can flow as gently as the leaves...
during a strong summer's breeze.

With the nuturing care of God's hands and his air,
I survive with all the obstacles God gives...
I'm strong and firm, my skins like bark it relives.
But... their is one thing that is different;
between me and tree.
and that's the tree is guaranteed to out live me.  


Details | Quatrain |

O Christmas Tree

'Tis that time again to bedeck the tree with decorations!

   Untangling the string of lights is one of my annual frustrations!

      Naughty words are said but when all is said and done, you'll,

         Happily declare that sans a Christmas tree it wouldn't be a Yule!

Placed No. 9 in Kim Merryman's "Here We Go A Caroling" Contest - January 2013


Details | Free verse |

Christmas Merriment

Snowflakes falling, falling all night
My pine tree adorned, now illuminating under snow
I brush and brush off, unveiling Christmas twinkling lights
Giving the white ground a colorful glow
An appearance of a Hallmark card, I must say
My children gather around the tree in merriment 
Then one by one they form fluffy snowballs
Laughing mischievously they begin to throw them at me
Well you can guess what happens next
Yep, before I was done they are covered in white
Red face and cold we all go indoors for the night
In front of the fireplace tired, beginning to warm
We look at each other and started to grin
Deep belly-laughs replaces the grins
You can't have enough of a good thing


For Nathan's "Christmas Joy" contest


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