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Teacher Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Teacher

These Teacher Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Teacher. These are the best examples of Teacher Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Dramatic monologue |

The Superfluous Pianist

I am the greatest pianist in the entire universe Even my piano teacher had to take lessons from me Then it was Mozart’s lesson at 1 pm and Liberace’s lesson at 3! I can even play the 5th of Beethoven with “just” my big toe My fortissimo is louder than one hundred young virtuosos Even Tchaikovsky’s booking agent said that I stole his last show Being such a world class musician is a heavy burden you know Did you know that I’ve never practiced a single day in my life? Beware of my romance sonatas; your spouse may steal me for his wife Yes, my piano playing has been the cause of much marital strife I thrive on accolades about myself; would you like to hear some more? For a standing ovation and a shower of roses, I’ll even play you an encore! Written for Susan Burch’s Contest~ Ridiculous Self Exaggerations ~ 1st Place Tie 2-10-12 **Dedicated to the very best piano teacher in the entire universe, Douglas Somers II**


Details | Iambic Pentameter |

I Just Can't Stand Poetry

I just can't stand poetry!
It badly boggles my brain!
I'm supposed to learn to rhyme!
But uck! You think I'm not sane?

I just can't stand poetry!
With its assonance and stuff!
"These three fleas fly in the breeze,"
I have really had enough!

I just can't stand poetry!
With metaphors I am through!
I'm becoming quite outraged!
A beast I'm turning into!

I just can't stand poetry!
Using similes? The worst!
I think we both can agree,
it's like being in jail! But worse!

I just can't stand poetry!
Personification's dumb!
I think my head will explode!
BOOM! Oww... that wasn't so fun!

I just can't stand poetry!
But I HAVE TO preach it... Grr!
I wish I had not applied
To be an English teacher!


Details | Free verse |

Bladder Problems in Class

Numbers on 
White board…names written hori-
zontally

Students ask
To go pee…right when class starts – 
THAT’S just wrong…

Bathroom line
Of students who have bladder
Problems – WOW!

People are
Not using lunchtime to do 
Their business 

No one knows
When to do their duties – SER-
IOUSLY?


Details | Sonnet |

Bad Teacher - 80's Style

Some ooglay dweeb-o-rama after school went and caught me mashing with my boy toy (a stella stud, I kid you not -mad cool!) Geek said, “He’s half your age!” I said, “No DOY!” Before that tard could gag me out the door, I told him, “Hey, step off and bag your face.” Then he spazzed out and said I was a whore. For real?? I’d barely got to second base! Suck! Geek finally booked it; then my stud put on some jams and everything was SCWHEET! We vegged out on the couch and shared a bud, then later played New Wave, grooved to the beat. My dude is wicked, and the zeek was right: I’m sure not young, but OH, how young the night! ** I have composed a list of definitions for all the 80's slang words and phrases. Just click on "About this Poem" Written by Andrea Dietrich For craig cornish's "Talk That Way" Poetry Contest (My decade of course is the 80's)


Details | Rhyme |

Went Fishin'


Submitted to the "Gone Fishin" contest
------------------------------------------------

Trollin’ the islands at Texoma,
It was April, 1964.
New rod and reel in hand,
I’d NEVER been fishing before.

A Garcia 2510T casting rod.
The reel, a Mitchell 301,
Plus hand-selected worms and lures…
I was ready to have some fun.

My teacher, a master fisherman,
Had fished all over the earth
From trout in Austrian mountain streams
To sea bass just west of Perth.

He showed me all the basics,
Including how to tie a lure.
“No snaps. They’re no good.
Tie’em on…just to be sure.”

He made me practice casting.
“Take aim with your rod’s tip 
Take her back - ten, eleven, twelve, one;
Smoothly return to ten… with just a little flip.”

While I practiced the casting motion,
He said, “Large Mouths will be jumpin’ bugs.
Water’s bubblin’ with Sand Bass spawnin’.
You’ll know the difference if one gives you a tug.”

As we drifted around the islands,
He said, “I think you’re ready.”
So, I picked a lure, a pretty Heddon;
And tied her on.  My hands were steady.

Yellow with black dots and a weed guard. 
A streamer tail and double treble hooks.
Who knew if she would do the job,
But I liked the way she looked.

As I tied her on, I looked around
For a likely place for my first cast.
Magazine pictures always showed weeds
In the background of a striking Bass.

So, I picked a reed bed in the shallows;
Threw my first cast, watched her fly.
What happened next was the stuff of dreams.
We couldn’t believe our eyes. 

About eighteen inches before she lit,
A monstrous Large Mouth erupted from the water.
My teacher screamed, “Holy Mary, Mother of God!  
Kiss O’Reilly’s Ugly Daughter!”

When the Bass broke water, it scared me. 
My whole body jerked and shook.
So sudden, so silent, it seemed like slow motion.
Until I heard him screaming, “Set the hook!  Set the hook!”

When the big Bass scared me,
I must have set the hook.
The tussle was on, long and hard.
This fish didn’t want to be cooked.

My lack of skills prevailed, however,
As I finally reeled him in;
I grabbed him by the lower lip,
Like I’d seen Don Wallace do, time and time again.

“Oh, my God”, he murmured as he weighed the Bass;
“Jeez.  Over thirteen pounds....Thirteen pounds, two.”
He took out his Polaroid and laughed, 
“I’ll take a picture of this fish... holdin' you.”

He snapped the picture of me holding the Bass;
On the back wrote the date, the length and weight.
As he turned to put the camera away……
Get ready.  This is the part that’s great.

I’d watched Don Wallace ‘catch and release’.
He always did that on his show.
“This fish put up a good fight.” he’d say;
“Now it’s time to let him go.”

Yes, as my teacher put away the camera,
I held the big Bass by the lower lip and tail
And ‘swished’ him in the water,
Making sure his gills would not fail.

My teacher turned and saw what I was doing
Just as I let the big Bass go.
This, too, was like slow motion
As I heard him screaming, “NOOOOOOO!”

“Why would you do that, Lad?
Do ya know nothin’ at all?
A fish like that... on your very first cast?
Well...Lad, that fish goes on the wall.”

“Well…he’ll be here next year.” I said with a smile,
“And even bigger, I’ll bet.”
He said, ”You’ll make a fisherman, Lad.
It’s not for the fish that we fish…

but for the great stories we get.” 

I still have that lure…and the rod and reel.
Still in their bags and boxes, just like new.
I thought about selling them on eBay,
But 50 years later, they have sentimental value.

You see…I’ve been invited to go fishin’ several times
By golfin’ buddies and other friends;
But for some reason…I really don’t know why…
I’ve never gone fishin’ again.

They say, “Truth is stranger than fiction.”
And I believe that is a fact.
I hope you enjoyed this bit of truth and,
In the meantime…..”Ya’ll come back!”


Details | Bio |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.


Details | Free verse |

Underwear made for a BOY

If you sit tight, and promise not to spite
I will tell you a story, when I was not in my glory
grade one, a new chapter
who knew my teacher would be a captor?
that’s right! I said it!
a washroom run, she did not permit
there I stood
as still as I could
but I couldn’t help wiggle, then jiggle, and out popped a nervous giggle
first I got a casual stare
not two seconds later, a frightening glare
Oh no! I thought
a quick exit I sought
I could feel the rush coming
my small feet started drumming
how could she be so cruel?
this has got to be against some rule!
and there it went
the warm stream I could not prevent
I could tell she was mad
but I had to go SO bad!
she pointed the way out
boy! Did she shout!
“go to the loo! You twitsy-poo”!

Oh. So you thought that was it?
why don’t you take another short sit
to the principals office I walked down
sporting a most shameful frown
she also looked unimpressed
thank goodness, I was wearing a dress
my underwear was wet but my clothes remained dry
if I had to wear lost and found clothes again, I surely would cry
I pictured Mrs. Marriotti as a belly dancer
while she called mom for dry underwear, but there was no answer
I was vexed, with what happened next
you’ll never believe me
the travesty that was caused by my pee
not only was I humiliated, and my new teacher I did annoy
but the underwear I had to wear for the day was made for a BOY!

Diana-Marie Bombardieri
January 30, 2012
CONTEST - Dr. Seuss is on the loose (G. Rix)


Details | Haiku |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?


Details | Rhyme |

Teacher, Teacher

Teacher, teacher, she’s touching me
And I haven’t liked her since we were three.

Help, teacher!  He says if I don’t stop
He’ll give me a karate chop.

Oh boy, teacher, I have a stomach ache.
How long’s this lesson gonna take?

Teacher, teacher, my head feels hot.
But, I don’t wanna get a shot!

Teacher, teacher, I hafta go.
If you don’t let me, I think I’ll blow.

Gosh, my water bottle got me wet!
Hey, teacher, is it lunchtime yet?

Teacher, teacher I’m all muddy
And scraped my knee and now it’s bloody.

Teacher!  Ow, teacher my tooth is jiggly.
What?  I can’t sit still.  My feet are wiggly.

Oh, no!  Teacher, my pencil broke again.
Why are you always countin’ to ten?

Sniff, sniff, teacher!  I’m feeling sick.
I better go to the nurse real quick.

Where you goin’ teacher?  Why you sittin’ down?
Did you just say you’re leavin’ town?

What’s the matter, teacher?  You don’t look so good.
Ain’t we behavin’ the way we should?

Don’t worry teacher.  Tomorrow you’ll be great!
We’ll be back in the morning at half-past eight!

By Susan Burd © 2011


Details | Rhyme |

FUNNY EXPERIENCE


Inside the classroom full of students
The teacher teaches about patience
           But there were some lazy group
           Noisy and talking about the latest scoop

The teacher’s patience’s exploded
Beauty on her face was faded
          The student’s attention are focused 
          To the person in front of the board

Silence filled in the air
Listening to their beloved teacher
          Word by word they’ve learned
          But one student fart loudly at the end

Bursting with laughter's inside the room
It’s like time bomb that really boom
          The teacher who is very angry
          Comes back with her natural beauty

Because of the sound she hears
You can see her eyes with tears
           It’s not sadness but pure happiness
           And the class were dismiss…….


For PD's Contest
8th Place Winner


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