My cousin shared her wishes and dreams,
On our star gazing night, she whispered them so sweet
As a shooting star glided down from the sky,
She said, I wish ….. I wish…. all I wish are these tonight
Someday, I will marry a smart, rich and handsome guy
And have a grandiose banquet on my nuptial rite
We’ll be dancing like a lovely prince and princess ,
With all my wedding sponsors on their best suits and dresses
All in pink ,that’s the motif I will surely request.
She kept into her dreams as several years passed by,
Still searching for her prince charming who’s hard to find
Unconsciously going beyond the age to give birth to a child,
In a hurry at age of seventy, she took a rich ninety years old guy.
The wedding was held after a day or two,
The guy seated on his wheelchair with rheumatism on his toe
She headed slowly at the alter to accept his shaking hands,
Two nurses followed, so with sponsors dressed up in printed brown.
The highlight of the wedding rite started at once,
They held tightly with a nebulizers on the other hands,
But the words of oath, they took time to pronounce
False teeth were both misplaced and nowhere to be found.
Reception followed grandiosely in the guy’s mansion,
I saw many old men and women still eager to dance on the floor,
With hunched back, shaking knees, they twisted rock and roll
Then, sweet music played and my cousin danced with her groom.
But, we all wondered how did he stand alone?
He’s so heavy , I knew my cousin couldn’t help him at all,
With our great surprise, his nurse was at his side like his crutch
Everyone thought , he’s really a smart guy! Was he not?
Then, everyone followed them so happily on the spacious hall,
And in trio, they held each other so tight and moved like a fool.
Written: Sept. 15, 2012
Contest: My Cousin's Wedding (funny poem)
Contest Judged: 9/30/2012
Poet Sponsor: Joann Grisetti
I pray a bright star will shine in the air
O'er Washington to guide some wise men there
Bringing gifts of commonsense
And harmony to dispense
To a nation that is in disrepair
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
For trick or treating Stella the strumpet
Got dressed up as a butterscotch crumpet
Caught his eye – Jabba the Hutt
He had hunger pangs in his gut
No more strumpet; Hutt plays "Taps" on trumpet
*For John Freeman's Halloween Limericks Contest. ©
If you haven't seen Star Wars, you can see an image of Jabba the Hutt at:
Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.
Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.
Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.
Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.
My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.
Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.
I write Star Wars limericks with aplomb.
'Cuz Star Wars is simply the bomb!
But they don't appear
On this nice website here,
They're at Starwarslimericks dot blogspot dot com!
No special effects there, I'm sorry.
A few pictures but nothing too gory.
I start at the beginning
And I keep on spinning
Retelling the whole Star Wars story!
The Archer of laughter
He needs to know; not trivia
But all those deeper things
Needs a higher education
He wants his life to bring
All the answers big and vast
He wants to travel too
Cause he has heaps of energy
He loves to do things new.
He cannot handle boredom
He must be on the go
If not in the physical
Then he will have to know
Everything about anything
He’s a philosopher, this too
He loves to have his high ideals
And he’ll always say what’s true.
But most of all he loves to laugh
To him life be a game
He doesn’t do traditional
And he don’t like things the same
He can be over bearing
But you’ll like him anyway
Though he will really pee you off
When he has too much to say.
1 August 2013 @ 0727hrs.
Jabba the Hutt has a spur up his butt
that makes him as mean as a wasp
If you stop for a look, at that glutton of glop,
his looks will not help him a lot!
His rotten demeaner, gave Vadar the radar,
to hide out in deep outer-space
Hutt's face and his figure could fracture a mirror
...and the glass of a whole universe!
There are millions of creatures, with much better features,
that Jabba can never embrace!
Jabba is gruesome, a big gooey nuisance!
He looks like a big wad of gum!
He grossed out Chewbacca.......
who likes his tobacco,.....(this may be a slip of a tongue)....,
But... a wad of his chew, missed the spittoon,
and hit Jabba, in his hut, with a zoom !
To view this unsightly, gruesome character:
For P.D.'s Star Wars Contest:
By Carrie Richards 8/27/13
Star Wars Rules !
I made a wish upon a star and really got burned
I made a wish upon a star and left Madonna breathless
I hitched my wagon to a star but forgot my spacesuit
The stars in my eyes turned out to be black holes
I couldn’t rise to the occasion so I took some Viagra
Did Harvey Wall Banger? Nope, Willy-Nilly slapped him silly
I once had sex on a golf course but wasn’t up to par and got penalized three strokes
A sex therapist counseled a maggot couple to make love in Earnest
I decided to take a brisk walk but there was this plank…
I WALKED that plank but they drained the pool so I cracked up
I walked the line and it was a very thin line (A very fine line though)
I walked the straight and narrow and had to stop for directions
I made a molehill out of a mountain and the EPA was NOT amused
I made another molehill out of a mountain and the CLIMBERS were not amused
I made ANOTHER mole hill out of a mountain but some mole dug up some dirt on me
I was shamed when the scandal was published in The Holey-Moley Enquirer
So I dug up some dirt on THEM and completely ruined my manicure…
If life is a rat race, God needs to set out some traps
Life was a bowl of cherries til I cracked my tooth on a pit
Speaking of pits, I escaped The Pit and the Pendulum but (Oh, rats)
Speaking of rodents, three-blind-mice ran into a herd of stampeding lemmings and quickly took the plunge…
Voyager 1’s “The Sounds Of Earth”
Eleven billion miles from the sun
a record, golden when it left these parts,
a runaway hit on Voyager One,
at Ophiuchus, sure to top the charts,
will introduce Mozart to other stars,
not to mention Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode”.
The knock-offs sold in alien bazaars
will knock their socks off or at least it should
make them extend their eyestalks in surprise.
They’ll soon begin to learn to sing along
to whales recorded and the baby’s cries —
adepts might even master Earth’s birdsong.
Should Beethoven not prove to be their fave,
Then Guan PingHu’s GuQin could be their rave.
I ONCE MET A MAN IN PORN
WHO’S TOOL WAS BIGGER THAN CORN
NO TWITTER NOR BLOG
THEY CALLED HIM HEDGEHOG
HE HUFFED PUFFED AND BLEW HIS OWN HORN
I do not know?
We do give thee thanks for the abundance
That is ours in glorious nudity
Even though some of it is saline
And some with silicon
Bless each and every one
Tell your mind what your body
They wanna be you, they wanna be just like you
Because right now, you are the sexiest
Woman on God’s green Earth
NOTE: This piece is NOT about pornography, it is a satire, a humorous jab at
Please enjoy with this in mind or skip over it completely Thank you
If you want to lose some weight
Here's some advice you may want to take
If you wish upon a star
While you eat a candy bar
Very soon you will see
You can't wish away those calories
A healthy diet and exercise plan
Can help you more than wishing can
So, while you wish upon that star
Throw away the candy bar
I do not know?
(This is a fictional poem)
My arms, legs and ribs have been broken and I'm wearing a neck collar.
It happened when I went to a five star restaurant and was charged three hundred
All my wife and I had were a couple of steaks.
When i told the owner that I didn't have enough money, a lot of bones started to
He dumped a pot of linguini and clams over my head and then jabbed me in the
nuts with a fork.
He burned my hands on his stove and I started crying like a little dork.
He started beating me and he wouldn't quit.
He beat me so hard that it made me ####.
You may be laughing at me, you may think it's funny.
But you won't find it so amusing if you ever go to that restaurant without enough
I do not know?
A tear drop falling into space I hear you voice and I go crazy. It's something I
can't explain. Maybe it's someone that sounds like you, But I can hear it and I know that
it's you. At least that's what my mind tells me. I get all nervous and look your way,
maybe this is a mistake because I could deal with that. I want you so much and then I
don't want to see you again because I don't want to deal with it. Isn't that smart? I
want you with my body and soul but then my soul plays tricks and I just want to let you
go. I can't feel like this, this isn't natural. I wanted all of you and now i'm afraid.
What if you did suddenly appear out of thin air and walk right over to me. I wouldn't
know what to say I would be completely star struck, your now a star but in my heart you
make me weak to my knees and I can't stop. Shivering, stuttering being around you can get
me that way. Maybe it's not meant to be. Honestly please, I don't want to be that nervous
wreck girl see what you do to me. I can't hold on and I can let go but then again this is
me and as I hear you voice in the wind I faint.
I do not know?
How do I describe sun, moon,stars
In the sky
I saw shooting star pass by ,
I wonder why
it was so high
I want to touch the sky,
time a shooting star pass by
I often dream that I can fly
Souring through the sky ,
Up up and away
That what always say
Each and other night and day
My boo said can I fly too babE-Y
I said come lets go lady
Remember not to close your eyes
We are On our way
To the top
Then I wake up when the night drop
The day bring day dream though
As I am munching on that toast
Then out the door
no flying though