My cousin shared her wishes and dreams,
On our star gazing night, she whispered them so sweet
As a shooting star glided down from the sky,
She said, I wish ….. I wish…. all I wish are these tonight
Someday, I will marry a smart, rich and handsome guy
And have a grandiose banquet on my nuptial rite
We’ll be dancing like a lovely prince and princess ,
With all my wedding sponsors on their best suits and dresses
All in pink ,that’s the motif I will surely request.
She kept into her dreams as several years passed by,
Still searching for her prince charming who’s hard to find
Unconsciously going beyond the age to give birth to a child,
In a hurry at age of seventy, she took a rich ninety years old guy.
The wedding was held after a day or two,
The guy seated on his wheelchair with rheumatism on his toe
She headed slowly at the alter to accept his shaking hands,
Two nurses followed, so with sponsors dressed up in printed brown.
The highlight of the wedding rite started at once,
They held tightly with a nebulizers on the other hands,
But the words of oath, they took time to pronounce
False teeth were both misplaced and nowhere to be found.
Reception followed grandiosely in the guy’s mansion,
I saw many old men and women still eager to dance on the floor,
With hunched back, shaking knees, they twisted rock and roll
Then, sweet music played and my cousin danced with her groom.
But, we all wondered how did he stand alone?
He’s so heavy , I knew my cousin couldn’t help him at all,
With our great surprise, his nurse was at his side like his crutch
Everyone thought , he’s really a smart guy! Was he not?
Then, everyone followed them so happily on the spacious hall,
And in trio, they held each other so tight and moved like a fool.
Written: Sept. 15, 2012
Contest: My Cousin's Wedding (funny poem)
Contest Judged: 9/30/2012
Poet Sponsor: Joann Grisetti
I pray a bright star will shine in the air
O'er Washington to guide some wise men there
Bringing gifts of commonsense
And harmony to dispense
To a nation that is in disrepair
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
For trick or treating Stella the strumpet
Got dressed up as a butterscotch crumpet
Caught his eye – Jabba the Hutt
He had hunger pangs in his gut
No more strumpet; Hutt plays "Taps" on trumpet
*For John Freeman's Halloween Limericks Contest. ©
If you haven't seen Star Wars, you can see an image of Jabba the Hutt at:
Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.
Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.
Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.
Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.
My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.
Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.
I write Star Wars limericks with aplomb.
'Cuz Star Wars is simply the bomb!
But they don't appear
On this nice website here,
They're at Starwarslimericks dot blogspot dot com!
No special effects there, I'm sorry.
A few pictures but nothing too gory.
I start at the beginning
And I keep on spinning
Retelling the whole Star Wars story!
The Archer of laughter
He needs to know; not trivia
But all those deeper things
Needs a higher education
He wants his life to bring
All the answers big and vast
He wants to travel too
Cause he has heaps of energy
He loves to do things new.
He cannot handle boredom
He must be on the go
If not in the physical
Then he will have to know
Everything about anything
He’s a philosopher, this too
He loves to have his high ideals
And he’ll always say what’s true.
But most of all he loves to laugh
To him life be a game
He doesn’t do traditional
And he don’t like things the same
He can be over bearing
But you’ll like him anyway
Though he will really pee you off
When he has too much to say.
1 August 2013 @ 0727hrs.
Jabba the Hutt has a spur up his butt
that makes him as mean as a wasp
If you stop for a look, at that glutton of glop,
his looks will not help him a lot!
His rotten demeaner, gave Vadar the radar,
to hide out in deep outer-space
Hutt's face and his figure could fracture a mirror
...and the glass of a whole universe!
There are millions of creatures, with much better features,
that Jabba can never embrace!
Jabba is gruesome, a big gooey nuisance!
He looks like a big wad of gum!
He grossed out Chewbacca.......
who likes his tobacco,.....(this may be a slip of a tongue)....,
But... a wad of his chew, missed the spittoon,
and hit Jabba, in his hut, with a zoom !
To view this unsightly, gruesome character:
For P.D.'s Star Wars Contest:
By Carrie Richards 8/27/13
Star Wars Rules !
I made a wish upon a star and really got burned
I made a wish upon a star and left Madonna breathless
I hitched my wagon to a star but forgot my spacesuit
The stars in my eyes turned out to be black holes
I couldn’t rise to the occasion so I took some Viagra
Did Harvey Wall Banger? Nope, Willy-Nilly slapped him silly
I once had sex on a golf course but wasn’t up to par and got penalized three strokes
A sex therapist counseled a maggot couple to make love in Earnest
I decided to take a brisk walk but there was this plank…
I WALKED that plank but they drained the pool so I cracked up
I walked the line and it was a very thin line (A very fine line though)
I walked the straight and narrow and had to stop for directions
I made a molehill out of a mountain and the EPA was NOT amused
I made another molehill out of a mountain and the CLIMBERS were not amused
I made ANOTHER mole hill out of a mountain but some mole dug up some dirt on me
I was shamed when the scandal was published in The Holey-Moley Enquirer
So I dug up some dirt on THEM and completely ruined my manicure…
If life is a rat race, God needs to set out some traps
Life was a bowl of cherries til I cracked my tooth on a pit
Speaking of pits, I escaped The Pit and the Pendulum but (Oh, rats)
Speaking of rodents, three-blind-mice ran into a herd of stampeding lemmings and quickly took the plunge…
Voyager 1’s “The Sounds Of Earth”
Eleven billion miles from the sun
a record, golden when it left these parts,
a runaway hit on Voyager One,
at Ophiuchus, sure to top the charts,
will introduce Mozart to other stars,
not to mention Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode”.
The knock-offs sold in alien bazaars
will knock their socks off or at least it should
make them extend their eyestalks in surprise.
They’ll soon begin to learn to sing along
to whales recorded and the baby’s cries —
adepts might even master Earth’s birdsong.
Should Beethoven not prove to be their fave,
Then Guan PingHu’s GuQin could be their rave.
I ONCE MET A MAN IN PORN
WHO’S TOOL WAS BIGGER THAN CORN
NO TWITTER NOR BLOG
THEY CALLED HIM HEDGEHOG
HE HUFFED PUFFED AND BLEW HIS OWN HORN