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Funny School Poems | Funny Poems About School

These Funny School poems are examples of Funny poems about School. These are the best examples of Funny School poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |


Love was in the air when he laid eyes on her.
Childhood; elementary and even high school with her.
Walking towards her, he greeted her.
Anxiety spiraled as he hugged her.
Conversation grew deeper as he sat with her.
Wanting to get closer because he was falling for her.

Another woman called pausing the time he was having with her.
Knowing he had to answer; he stepped away and spoke to her.
She stated that something wasn't quite right with her.
She said that her stomach had been bothering her.
Now he's thinking back if he came inside her.
Thinking if she lied to him about her tubes being tied within her.

Does he blame himself for listening to her?
Knowing right from wrong and yet he can't blame her.
Does he blame the devil for allowing him to be intimate with her?
Is he not a human that makes mistakes just like her?
Begging God to make a way for him and her.
Asking God to forgive him for committing the sin with her.

God said, "relax my son, you were only dreaming of her."

Details | ABC | |

Idiots like you

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Idiots like you,
belong in a school'
Don't get upset,
I went there too,
I passed all my classes,
cuz I was smarter than you,
But hey don't you worry'
You wont be one for long'
Just pass all your classes,
Go on what you waiting for,
an invitation?
No I don't think so 
go right now.

Details | Rhyme | |

School Supplies

I glanced out my window watchin' kids plod along to school today.
I recalled my school days and how things have changed along the way
I watched the little fellers hunched over with their over-loaded packs.
'Tis a wonder the little dudes don't develop a twitch in their sacroiliacs!

I wore overalls and shoes that I was told by Mom I'd better not scuff!
Nowadays, kids are sportin' Rebok shoes and all kinds of fancy stuff!
If they don't have the latest and greatest, they're bound to pitch a snit!
Appearances mean everything even to kindergartners, on the face of it!

To begin school in days of yore, I was required to supply a pot of glue,
Couple of No. 2 pencils with erasers, ruler, ink and a ruled pad or two.
Wrapped in a newspaper for lunch, a baloney sandwich and apple for a snack.
When my grandkids showed me their list of supplies, I nearly had a cardiac!

Included were - a backpack, Rigatoni noodles, crayons and composition books,
A cell phone, calculator, protractor and for reading, one of those fancy Nooks,
Facial tissues, scissors, a ruler, colored pencils, pencil sharpener and erasers,
Elmers glue, Ziploc bags, a ream of paper and plastic dividers to use as spacers!

One change of clothes in case of accident to include underwear, pants and socks,
Disinfectin' wipes, three-ring binders and a padlock for individual locker locks!
I am caused to pause and ponder how we "oldies" got a solid education,
Sans all the geegaws and fancy frills that are now required for graduation!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | I do not know? | |


Fat!    As a kid
Well    I remember fat!
I always thought I was fat because
My brother called me “Pig!”
Pigs are fat    by nature
So I thought    “by nature”    I am a pig

At school I looked around the room
Saw I was the only pig
The rest were human
Humans  (I thought) are slender    even    skinny
When extra milk was given out
Teacher never selected me
Pigs    not being human    should be left out    so I thought
Pigs should     probably    be penned
In my mind I was surrounded by a white    board fence    my feet in mud
When the class sang songs    I snorted

When I was 10 mother made me go to Sunday school
The Sunday school teacher    a very good    kind    religious sort of man told us about 
How greed was a sin
I read    somewhere    “Greedy as a pig”
Being greedy is a sin according to the good    kind    religious man
Well?    GUILT set in
I carried guilt around    piggyback         for years    and     YEARS!
In high school it finally dawned
I wanted a girlfriend
Pigs were out    humans were in!
I lost weight    FIFTY pounds!
Got me a steady girlfriend
Then    I found I really was a human
What a LOUSY thing to be!

Details | Rhyme | |

Thirtieth High School Reunion

We gathered for our thirtieth class reunion at Lydia's Smorgasbord.
I'd avoided such past events since in school I was largely ignored!
But my spouse proclaimed we would attend, thus ending that debate!
The dreaded encounter is expressed in verse below that I will now relate!

A social hour preceded the buffet where the booze freely flowed!
I looked about the room to see if I could spot anyone that I knowed.
I hardly recognized the campus queen - she had acquired a heap of weight!
That once haughty snob now tipped the scales, I judged, at one ninety-eight!

I saw the big-man-on-campus who was named most apt to score success.
He had a dearth of hair, an ample gut and an astonishing lack of finesse!
Some gal with purple hair staggered up to me and planted a slobbering kiss!
Must've been one of my old flames as I mused, "Now, who in hell is this!"

Guys gravitated my way boasting about this and that bending my ear.
They bored me with nasty jokes and trivia that I really didn't want to hear!
Of course I told all how great they looked, staring them dead in the eye,
And asking the Lord's forgiveness and crossed my fingers for telling such a lie!

The jocks were trying to impress one and all with their waning capabilities.
Most were hobbling about with canes discreetly masking their disabilities!
'Twas an interesting eve and the grub was great, of that there is no doubt,
But for our fortieth, fiftieth and sixtieth reunions, please include me out!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Rhyme | |

Conversational Twists And Turns

Topics of conversation seem to change as we approach maturity.
As kids we talked of love - now it's lumbago and social security!
It once was enlightening to simply discuss the weather,
But now it's a litany of their ills when oldsters get together!

When a teen we bragged about that first voluptuous kiss.
Now all we can do is talk about such and lamentably reminisce!
Girls whispered amongst themselves and cast a furtive glance,
At the high school "hunk" pining for a torrid romance!

In our courting days, sweet talk we'd whisper in the other's ear.
Now it seems we must yell to be heard unlike in yesteryear!
As married folks we debated about money, bills and kids,
Exasperating table-pounding sessions where we'd flip our lids!

Seems that no matter where senior brethren congregate,
With each other their aches and pains they must enunciate,
Discussing the woes of arthritis, phlebitis and laryngitis,
Bronchitis, bursitis, gingivitis, dermatitis and gastritis!

I reckon I could simply say, "Gee, you're looking swell!"
Then perhaps upon these gloomy topics they might not dwell.
I enjoy repartee with folks about religion, politics and sports,
But talk of doom and gloom leaves me sorta outta sorts!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Couplet | |

A Threat to the Hockey Team

Each child has talents and Dee always loved to skate
One night at the lake she was called up to the plate
The high school hockey team was “slip-sliding away”*
So call her a chauvinist; Dee wanted to play
But when the coach recruited her for the team
One boy offered a bottle of shaving cream
They couldn’t skate backward; Dee sure showed them how
Stealing their puck, she curtseyed and took a bow
Take it from Dee, men don’t like to be upstaged
By her free-flowing glide the boys were outraged
When it came time for the school’s holiday dance
To find a date, this skater hadn’t a chance  

Details | Free verse | |

Bladder Problems in Class

Numbers on 
White board…names written hori-

Students ask
To go pee…right when class starts – 
THAT’S just wrong…

Bathroom line
Of students who have bladder
Problems – WOW!

People are
Not using lunchtime to do 
Their business 

No one knows
When to do their duties – SER-

Details | Rhyme | |

Cruisin' the Drag

Sipping cherry limeade, driving in the car parade, 
We're cruising in the Lone Star state
Didn't want a bucket seat; the thing it couldn't beat, 
Was sitting up close to your date
One hand on the wheel of daddy’s Oldsmobile, 
My arm around my brown-eyed girl
Feeling pretty sporty, radio on top forty, 
I was cooler than the Duke of Earl

The lady of the cruise had her penny loafer shoes, 
Her bobby socks were turned down twice
With a little eyeliner, she couldn't be much finer
Too much and it wouldn't be nice
There’d be no wild oats under those petticoats
She’d never go all the way
Just a perfect flip-up 'do and cute look number two
Practiced in the mirror all day

Hear those tires squeal when I make the rubber peel
For the flyboys waiting on the bus
To take them to the base where they don't feel out of place
Not cruising like the rest of us
I was the drag's head honcho as we pulled across the Concho
And we saw the lights along the riverside
We'd had quite a lark at Neff's amusement park
Playing putt-putt and going on a ride

The cheerleader squad rode a killer hot rod
With a spinner on every rim
A perfect tuck and pleat on every single seat 
Courtesy of Wanda's Auto Trim
Candy apple red, it would really knock you dead
It was a drop-top Pontiac
One was there to steer and three were in the rear
Posing up on the back

Those football beauty queens in their skin-tight Levi jeans
Were followed by their biggest fan
Checking out those lasses in his Buddy Holly glasses 
Was the nerdy little Aqua Velva man
In his stainless steel braces he grinned up at their faces
They iced him with a haughty air
He never would forget it; they would later on regret it
When he became a multi-millionaire

A four girl bevy in a big finned Chevy 
Were riding west on Sherwood Way
Four guys right behind in a pick-up state of mind
All ready to make their play
Thought they were the smartest cruising pick-up artists
But those gals were pretty astute
When they stopped and the guys started telling all their lies
The chicks started putting on the cute

We turned the car around and headed back downtown
Cruising down the boulevard 
Stay cool daddio, bear right at El Patio
And take it down Beauregard
There were lots of pleated skirts and those button-down shirts
The flattops were everywhere galore
From a Lincoln Continental, we heard an instrumental
Mister Acker Bilk's “Stranger on the Shore”

We slowly pulled through BJ’s, listening to the deejay’s 
Announcement of the next hit song
Leaning on their doors with their Brylcreem pompadours
Two hoods were playing Mr. Wrong
Completing their disguise, they slouched with narrowed eyes
And did their best at looking mean
With a twist of his pelvis, one was doing Elvis
The other did a fine James Dean

Like a sweet potato vine, the bride of Frankenstein 
Was entwined around the Marlboro man
With the passion of their make out, they should have gotten takeout 
And opted for a bigger floor plan
With her big black beehive hair and his fancy western wear
They were putting on quite an awesome scene
I had to give a chuckle at his huge silver buckle
But those M.L. Leddy boots looked mighty keen

I pulled the Olds on through, and we bid BJ’s adieu
And I put us back onto the street
With those four whitewall tires, we made for McIntire's
To get ourselves a bite to eat
We stopped for some fuel, over near the school
In those days they came right out to you
Best place on Earth, ‘cause with a dollar’s worth
They’d check your oil and clean your window too

The drive-in, painted green, was quite the social scene
With people mingling car to car
Everyone was caring; the drinks they were for sharing
Especially when they were in a mason jar
She ate a big banana split, and then left me for a bit
To comfort an old friend not feeling right
A moment more to linger with that final steak finger
Then I took her home and called that one a night

That was many years ago, but some things you don’t outgrow
And I think back to when I was a teen
When doors were left unlocked, and children safely flocked
Unchaparoned at night on Halloween
And sometimes at night, when the stars are big and bright
And I’m deep in a Texas state of mind
I think of that lass who was in my high school class
And I wonder if she thinks of me in kind

August 10, 2012

Details | Narrative | |

School Days

(and long brown stockings) 

I detest these stockings,
they're coarse, brown and ugly.

I hate the garters more;
elastic circles that cut off 
circulation and fail to halt 
the laddering down my skinny legs.

If only . . . I picture myself
in warm jeans and no teasing
from Tommy Rogers.

I put the garters to better use,
roll the repulsive stockings
down around my ankles. 

Tommy taunts,
"Who gave you
jointed toothpicks for legs?"

I lost it.

Now, Tommy has a black eye
and my nose is in the corner.

Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Blank Verse Rhyme

Blank Verse Rhyme

The master said “create blank verse in lines of ten”.
Form five Iambic feet without a rhyme.
“These five Iambic feet you must achieve”.
The verse will have a rhythm you can hear,
when studied closely this will be revealed.

For, lines of blank verse rhyming discontents
the master. “Do it over, take all night”!
The lines of blank verse sing a little song,
each syllable, each rhyme, you’ll hear them ring!
You’ll sing the tune of verses blank and pure.

And now I keep up with this blank verse trick,
I hear its tick ten syllables per line.
It rhymes so soft; I have it mastered now,
so naturally it falls right from my pen.
Oh, where will this blank verse rhyme find an end?

Yet, twenty lines of syllables came out
much faster still than I had thought they should.
I love each rhyme, the timing so precise,
I hope it pleased the eye and ear. I turned
it in, it came back very clearly signed


-Tiffany R-2009

Details | Rhyme | |

Missing my School Days

Period-wise, we used to arrange the bag,
Every book was covered and have a name tag,
Waking up early in morning, get ready to go,
May homework not done, but never were low.
In assembly, that anthemn, and prayer.
That going in queque like a disciplined mare,
Noise in class was like our birth right,
everything we do, was a height.
punishment from teacher was just a gift,
for communication through ends of classroom, require no rift,

Being OUT-Standing of class, more than being in,
Melodious, it seems for us, our noisy din.
No child was let to study in class,
No tension on face of future or marks.
That recess times cannot come back again,
for us adjectives were naughty and imsane,
That making new class love-stories,and mocking everyone,
Our only mission was from every day, may not learn anything but extract maximum fun.
Will never forget that playing in games period,
no tears were allowed, our rules were only laid.

Bell ringing aloud, Teacher has gone,
Student at back benches taking corn.
Oh!! I was sleeping and dreaming, I was in college,
Where classrooms are full of dirty gauge.

O God! Why i got elder so soon??
Missing my School days a lot, Which was for me, really a boon!!!

Details | Free verse | |

My Boredom Disease

Like sick allergies, 
Boredom can be passed around

Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!

Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination ! 

Details | Acrostic | |

My Hat

Orange, black, and white
Keep it pulled down tight.

Sits on my head with pride
Taking care of my uncombed hair
Ageing with daily wear
Threaded with the letters OSU
Eskimo Joe wears one too.

Details | Free verse | |

School day hell

They called it school
I called it hell 
From the huge imposing prison like doors
To the doom like toll of the bell
Everyday the same
Running for the school bus
Full of uncivilized Wild kids
Being pushed and shoved
Countless kids in uniform
Fearing the teachers and the day they were born
Satchel bags and lucky bags
Late for lessons again 
Going to the headmasters office 
For the cane ooh how my bum was in pain
Teacher at the blackboard
Pupils getting bored thinking about girls
Motorbikes and cars
Playing football in the yard
Playing sports in skirts and shorts
The one too big that moma bought
School desks fountain pens and ink
Boy how some of my classmates did stink
Trying to blow up the science lab
Bubbly gum and sherbert dabs
Giggling girls and bashful boys
Girls jutting out everywhere
Pigtails and ribbon on their hair
Always getting into a fight
Going home with a torn blazer and black eye every night
Lots of kisses on my homework
Rolling about in the dirt
Pouring ink into the headmasters aquarium
Holes in your trouser bum
Crafty cigarette hidden behind a wall
Morning assembly in the hall
School dinners you couldn't pick
Forced down your throat and made you sick
Being punished and kept behind doing lines
I must have wrote 'I must be good' a million times
Frog spawn put into teachers bag
Gas taps left on in the lab
The school nurse giving you a jab
Riot breaks out in class Running a race on sports day and coming last
Pea shooter and catapult Pulling your tongue out and being rude to adults
First love and nervous thumbled kiss
Girls with new sticky out bits
Hair growing in places it didn't before
Limbs aching and so sore
Always in trouble up to no good playing truant in the wood
Letting the tiers down on the headmasters car
Girls wearing training bra's
Exams were such a sham but wrote the answers under the bandage on my 
hand Teachers talking about things I didn't understand
What a waste of time I was going to be a pop star and soon a man
Those daydreams  of youth that still remain aloof
Hiding in the bushes watching  girls playing hockey and net ball on the field
I still recall how that used to feel
Long school summer holidays away from hell
School books thrown down the well
Then back to school again to days of terror
And pain up early facing hell.

Peter Dome,copyright.2014. July.

Details | I do not know? | |


Homework oh' homework
All kids say it stinks,
They say they wont do it,
but that it would disappear once they blink,
They say who invented it;
and who brung it forth,
They say they wish teachers would stop giving it,
And all though I agree
Homework is a good thing,
It will help you, you'll see
It will help tomorrow, today, 
and years later
It will help you be smarter
it'll help you participate
So don't say that you hate it
All though you clearly do, because
you know that you need it
Don't you?

Details | Free verse | |

Ridiculous Me

Watch this scene with both eyes and try not to blink C: --> 

I stood there... silently
Like a predator near prey 
I sneak behind YOU

You weren't even aware of it!! Ha-ha! 

I made YOU jump hIgH
Like a startled hare
I chuckle and smile

You know that mischievous smile of mine? 

Your reaction was
PRICELESS - you were so upset
But YOU forgave me

Well...I'm flattered. . . 

We laugh'd together (just like the good times)
In a chorus - our volume
Picked up extreme sound

Believe me - I could hear our laughter from a mile away!

But I'm glad I did
My best to make you giggle

Ridiculous me... 
Wouldn't you agree?

Details | Sonnet | |

A Sonnet On a Tough Girl

I never will forget in junior high this girl who was a two-faced friend of mine. I can’t remember now the reason why, but she got mad for something asinine. She said, “I’m gonna beat you up! Be at the park, beside the water tower.” She then told me, “Bet you won’t show up.” That brat was MEAN! All day I fretted needlessly of what could be a real bad episode! So after school with my best friend, I went And waited for that witch; she never showed! With great relief, I then began to vent to my best friend of things that we could do to that “tough girl” - a chicken through and through! *True story & dedicated to my junior high school foe, who later went on to marry (and then divorce) the brother of my BEST friend! To read more about what happened later on with me and her, please view "ABOUT THIS POEM" which can be seen by clicking in the left hand corner above the title of a poem. For Carol Brown's Poetry Contest: ORNERY BEST FRIENDS

Details | Rhyme | |

Did I waste my time

At first school was cool
Had to abide by one simple rule
Read and write
And never fight
Recite the alphabet
How easy can it get?
One plus one is two
Two times two is four
D O O R spells door
Maths was about addition and subtraction
Multiplication and division
Studied animals and apes
And all them shapes
Circles and triangles
Squares and rectangles
Pentagons, hexagons
Septagons, octagons
Nonagons and decagons
Then I grew a little and things got tough
The stuff got a bit rough
School became boring
Talk of junior-high bullying
I got scared and
The maths got weird
Areas and volumes
Cones and pyramids
Cords and sectors
Quantities and vectors
Pi r squared?
Half times base times height?
No way I’m getting these right
Positives and negatives
Radius and diameter
Areas, perimeters
Voltmeters and ammeters
More and more shapes
Rhombus, star and trapezium
Physics and chemistry
Lithium and helium
Biology and history
Mussolini, Hitler and Stalin,
And the famous wall of Berlin
I thought I was done
But things got less fun
I started to debit and credit
Economics and statistics
Differentiation and intergration
Poisson and normal distribution
Assignments, projects and dissertations
Now I’ve got the diplomas and degrees
But guess what
I’m just a poet
Now, tell me
Did I waste my time?

Details | Free verse | |

School Days 2

School days 2
Up in the morning, I due dread.
Running and screaming I hear in bed.
Back to school what a joy.
Reading, writing and no toys.
The roar of buses I hear them come.
Schools days prepare to begin.
Buses here and buses there.
When is the buses going to end?
I hear someone one shout "is it summer yet"
And It's the first day of school.

Details | ABC | |

The Vent

im livin in a world, where all eyes on me.
trying to curve my own route.
but route 66 keeps finding its way to me.
ive been plenty sick, in all the events layed before me.
even when i reflect to my lowest points
i dont regret any of the choices
That I’ve deployed in my era
A lot of it by error, but hey
We live in hell conditions and there ain’t no air condition 
Or any guidelines when life throws you in the sidelines
But when hindsight twenty twenty hits
You’ll begin to understand life’s a bunch of equations and you in the mix of it
An you’ll have to think twice, before running into a situation and becoming the best of it
it’s what got me here, it’s what got us here
Ran with my thoughts blazing up to her place and
Guess what happened next
She opened up heaven’s gate
And just before late I slipped out
Simply put 
I’m a Grown ass man
Doin his thing, waitin to blow up like an old land mine
In doin what he drools over
But time after time 
Something decides to creep up and cover the light
Lost my way
Then I revoked to ever know, I ever thought that way
But in the in between time, that in the mean time 
Spent a lot of time
Gettin pissed off just to medicate and lift off
Don’t need Don Perion to sip off
Already had my way with the bottle
Even thought to get back with the trouble and rejoin the hustle
That’s just what happens to a man who really knows his old ways
Whos tired of making ends meet and ponders getting back to the streets.
Memory sets in and he remembers an O.G. saying
No matter how tall your pockets stand when you ball
Eventually times gonna make you fall
And I as I pull myself together 
I don’t wanna end up like the twin towers rubble
I mean no offence to nine eleven but at that time I probably could have used a reverend
But all that’s irrelevant now
because i live with a different perspective now

there you go you made it to the end :-) comment if you like, constructive criticism wanted as well.

Details | Acrostic | |



Details | Rhyme | |

Walk Of Shame

Walk Of Shame

Did you see that girl walk by?
I can tell, she got a guy
It's 9am, her hair's a mess
Sunday morning in a party dress?

Mascara run, lipstick smeared
She thought, this hour, all coasts were cleared
Oh but no, her I did see
And as she stumbled, she saw me

High heels on, cell in hand
Back to the dorms, she walked on Grand
Walk of shame, oh how you expose
The true nature of the hoes

Guys wake up to chill on their lawn
As freshmen girls grudgingly pursue on
Calling out, "Well how was your night!?"
Girls wish their walk was out of sight

I just laugh and point them out
More so notifying all via shout
"Walk of Shame, that is you!"
These young girls, they've got no clue

The ones who get it, then take off
Again next weekend, it's never enough
Get any guy, hooking up's their game,
But each time regretting the walk of shame.

You might think I judge too hard
Not giving them the innocent card
I shouldn't talk, I'm such a hypocrite
That was me yesterday morning, I will admit.

Details | Limerick | |

Replacement Teacher

There once was a teacher from Crete
Whose foot size was very petite.
But her students did plot
And to high school they brought,
Some shoes for oversize feet.

Details | Burlesque | |

Didn't You Go To School, Stupid??

yeah, and i came out the same way....

Details | Free verse | |

Grandma Was Dancing

She was a tappin' to the tunes...
of those Mississippi blues...
step-pin' out, in her white...
Pat-en-leather shoes,

We were a watchin' her a prancin',
all through the kitchen, dancin'...
for she was & sizzlin'...
hummin' to those Mississippi tunes...

Funny curlers too, upon...
her head...for a new... Hair dew,...
she was, a swirlin'-in that bakers apron,
when her a bobbin' to...
those Mississip-pi blues,

'Pots were a knockin'...
Grandma a sockin' down all she brews,
while that kettle there was whistlin',
in har-mo-ny, with them good ole...
good ole...mississip-pi moves,'

That floor there, was a bouncin'
holdin' hands we were a jumpin',
an-a hoppin' In the kitchen, to those...
                  sounds ...
Where Grandma's feet were a stompin',
In her new...New-white-sexy-pat-en-
(ya hoo)

Details | Rhyme | |

Remember When

The fondest memory of a young boy’s drive,
   Are those things reminding us we are alive,
As when those physics of natural fortitude,
   Rise up to the occasion and start to protrude.

Seemingly the notion is quite  uncontrollable, 
  The mind that takes over is quite consolable,
`T was Love gave us the procreating  urge,
   Assumption is such, why should we not spurge?

As was this friend of mine who’s name was Berg, 
   With every young lady he saw, wanted to spurge,
He did saddled himself with three kids and a wife,
   Which is fine if mature ,but if not ruins one’s life.  

Another fond memory of a young boy alive,
   Is all those hot rod cars that he use to drive,
One of my dearest friends lost his life, where and when?
   High school graduation on Bayou creek bend.

A four in the floor and a fifth under the seat,
   Young boys feel like such a feat is quite neat,
Driving while drunk chancy rich price to pay,
   Same as being too young when one hit’s the hay!

This story has no glory,  though all parts are true,
   Parents seriously need to teach children good pursue,
Apple of God’s eye, tooth for tooth, an eye for an eye,
   We have not mercy,  when it is judgments we cry! 

For Contest: Fondest Memory
In Honor of: Frank Herrera

Details | Limerick | |

Truth In Numbers

"THE whole truth and nothing but the truth" .......

I flunked my math test and I never felt so blue
Geometry I could just not do
Algebra came easy
Other subjects were breezy
Sadly off the honor roll I flew.

Was the very first time I failed a test
I should have cheated to avoid the stress
But that would be wrong
My morals were too strong
I felt like a failure I must confess.

Teacher moved my desk way up in the front
My eyesight is not the problem I grunt
He said, just pay attention
Or I will add detention
You will learn, his intentions were blunt.

Many hours I tried to comprehend
I think his teaching skills I did offend
Plenty of intimidation
Loads of frustration 
For I did not learn 'G' in the end.

By: Cecilia Macfarlane 02/27/12012
For: Truth!! Or Dare Contest
Sponsor: Destroyer ~ Poet 

Details | Rhyme | |

The Rubber Boot

Sitting staring out the window for my sister to return
An overwhelming sadness, my stomach in a churn.
She a half day at school and I have not yet started
I thought the fates were cruel that we were even parted
The sun glinting off the puddles, maybe we'll play outside
Or maybe play barbies or color if she wanted to stay inside.

From school she returns and asks mom can she go outside to play
I ask can I go and she replies "no, they're my friends and you're a baby anyway"
Two 5 year old girls waiting on the porch, am I losing my best friend?
I hide my disappointment for if I cry I will hear about it to no end
Mom tells her to wear rubber boots and change out of her school dress
It was in that moment I hatched a plan that was spiteful, I confess.

She stripped down to her underwear and began to gather up her stuff
When she couldn't find one of the boots she got herself in a huff
My sister has a temper and a full blown tantrum fully erupted
She began to yell, and started throwing things, until my dad interrupted
"This will cool you down", as he put her out on the porch and locked the door              
Standing outside in underwear, tears streaming, now with something to cry for.

Her friends look upon her, their faces register shock
If there was only a way that I could turn back the clock.
I stare again out the window, but this time at my beloved sister
My heart in so much pain that I'm sure it will certainly blister
I felt so bad, so dreadful, my stomach tied in one huge guilty knot
I slowly walk to the hamper to retrieve the boot from it's hiding spot.

*True story, vivid memory for a 3 yr old I know, but this affected me deeply.
I told her I hid the boot when we were teenagers, we had a great laugh.

For contest: "A Childhood Memory''

Details | Rhyme | |

Pole Catching

Sitting there so beautifully-
the one who had stolen my heart from me.
I walked right by to catch his eye,
but caught a pole instead.

Details | Couplet | |

Child once more

Wouldn't it be wonderful to wake up one morning
To find you were still a child
So much energy jumping up and down upon your bed
So many wonders and thoughts swirling through your bed
No responsibilities
Just fun and play with your dolls or swinging in the trees
Getting a dose of the measles having a poorly on your knee
looking at a catalogue at all the toys
Building a den and playing cowboys and Indians
With the other girls and boys
Dressing up in mummies clothes
catching frogs and picking your nose
Rolling down grassy hills and knowls
Going for summer walks with a bottle of lemonade
Pretending you are a solider standing on parade
Watching cartoons all day on TV
Having a pet to love and feed
Giving your teddy bear a hug
Collecting crawly things like slugs and bugs
Having a big bag of sweets giving a high five to every child that you meet
Having an imaginary friend called Fred
Bed time stories in your Jim Jams in bed
Pretending to be a pirate out at sea
Seeing strange faces in every tree
Licking the cake bowl after mummy makes a cake
Riding on your bicycle or on your roller skates
Reading books under the covers with a torch at night
Playing football flying a kite
Dreaming of becoming an astronaut a fireman and scientist too
having a great day out at the zoo
Playing children's games calling out rude names
Playing in the wood getting up to no good
Getting head Lice in your hair
Sitting in a high chair
Dancing like a loony at a party
Hating girls yuk! with their ribbons and their curls
Doctor Who Winnie the poo Sponge Bob
Larry the Lamb and Batman
and now I'm Superman!
Train set that gives your Farther who bough it  for you so much joy
Pink for a girl and blue for a boy
playing on the swings and slide
Bucket and spade making sand castles at the seaside
Everyone saying 'awe aren't you sweet'
Coco pops egg and toast soldiers to eat
Balloons floating high into the sky
your older sister hitting you and making you cry
Sitting on your potty
pacifier in your mouth
'Mummy I've done a poo'you shout
'Good boy I'll lift you out.
sitting in your pram Being pushed everywhere by your Mam
Going on a bus singing a little song
looking out the window and sticking out your tongue
Digging in the garden eating worms and soil
Having earache Pouring in olive oil
playing with your rubber duck and battleship
while your in the bath
reading your favourite comics and having a laugh
Asking lots of questions your parents find hard to answer
'Where do babies come from?' Having your leg in plaster
playing in the school yard playing hide and seek
Being poorly every week
new shoes happy feet holding mommy's hand and skipping down the street
Watching the fish swim around your fish tank
Putting pennies in your piggy bank
Ooh how my dipper must have stank
Ice cream and jelly tots uhhm I used to scoff the lot
playing a tree in a school play
Packing a suitcase and running away
throwing pebbles in a pond all day long.

Phew I'm shattered after al that. imagine doing all that now. the mere thought 
tires me out.

Peter Dome.copyright.2014.July.

Details | Couplet | |

What they didn't tell her about Fairy tales

They told me from the time I was two
“One day prince charming is coming for you!”

They made me read these inspiring fairy tales
About mermaids, evil step mothers and 
servants whose childhoods were unfair,

They told me that even if I was troubled and had to put up with a lot,
That someday my adversaries would have to surrender
to me and scrub my pots,

They told me I wasn’t alone; animals would be my friend
So I tried that, then one night they bit me, 
I suffered another tragic end

They said to always be kind-hearted that’s what all man want,
When I got into high school I found out no one wanted to talk to the fat girl in the corner who ate chocolate glazed croissants 

They told me to find seven dwarfs, a crew of little people
My school only had four of them 
Their names were; scuba, geek freak, muffin top and meatball

In eleventh grade they said, "ask God for a fairy godmother to get a dress for the prom"
I went to a Catholic Church, got one for 75 cents, 
with red stripes and one missing arm

They said after graduation the wise thing to do would be to go to college 
and Not rush into getting married
So I got knocked up my senior year by the school janitor,
His name is "Prince Larry!"

I dropped out a month before school ended and you’ll never guess where I reside
I am currently employed doing Disney parties, where I get to dress up as all the great characters who told me those fabulous lies.
Got to Love fairy tales…

By: Sabina Nicole

Details | Rhyme | |

Oodles of Joy

"Oodles of Joy"
In the morning of everyday i 
I make a food that's really 
Crunch'em, rip'em, and pour'em out 
As saliva pools form in my 
Put it in the mic for just about 
Impatiently  watching those 
beautiful noodles waiting for 
When the time Is up
I Pop it open and take them out 
And start shoving "Oodle's of 
Noodles" into my mouth. 
Khalil Wali

Details | Light Poetry | |

Highly Intelligent Gluteus Maximus

The student sits in third row last chair
His foolish words of attention are blurted everywhere
He understands not the value of listening
For he seeks laughs and howls for the teacher’s off>< pissing
Until finally the day of teacher student conflict
The teacher enquires of the student’s gimmicks 
Young man confronting the joker for all to hear
Your gall for the learned compliance suitable for classroom learning
Indicates your true ability of one of extremely asinine qualities
I must admit as all the students are listening here
You are the greatest highly intelligent gluteus Maximus I ever did hear

Details | Free verse | |

Last Bell.....

Man, I remember the thrumming of that last bell of the school year.....
Like a prisoner being furloughed into the warm sun, buzzing of grasshoppers.
Field stickers burrowing into your ankles, joyfully, while you take the wrong way/long way 
The sound of whispering gold as your armplane wings dislodge future assaulters of ankles.
I always liked sighs in the summer.....those sweet drones were the tones of freedom.
In the distance you hear Shirley scream as Brad tells EVERYBODY she likes Ralph...
You knew you should be gettin' home, but, confound it, this one brief moment was yours. 
There was a sound, like a shell to the ear, of all you had learned, escaping as if under 
To thwart it was to stop a tsunami with an umbrella.....ineffectual....unnoticed.
But, also vacant, was common sense; probably why I went Jake's way that day....
Oh, he was there, lurking...lying in wait for my almost clock-work arrival.
Many a day I had screamed a million insults at him as he chased me like Satan,
Hoping "today" wasn't the day he caught up with me.
His exhalations never sounded labored, as if he was letting me get ahead.....
But not today!!!!!.....I JUMP......He LUNGES......and his teeth gain purchase on my seat!!!!
However, I escape....My bottom, that much cooler than it was before and will probably be 
Home.......... you see mom in the kitchen, drinking sun tea and waiting for you to arrive....
"So, How was school?"..."Uh, fine, I guess."     "What did you learn today?"......."Uh, to never 
underestimate the value of Gym Class!!"......"Well," she says, "if you took home economics, 
you'd be able to fix up your pants before Dad gets home and sees your underwear!!"......

Parents NEVER respect an Adventurer's near-fatal exploits!!!

Details | Limerick | |

Prep Talk

<                                      Peter ~ Piper ~ picked ~ pickled .... peppers
                                        Ate ~ one ~ turned ~ into ~ hot ~ salsa ... stepper
                                                Cherry ~ Banana ~ ....  Bell 
                                         Boy - his - tongue - throat - did ... swell
                                         Couldn't ~ even ~ yell ~ at ~ packs ... prepper

Entry For
Destroyer {Poet's }
Pickles & Tickles Contest
G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |

Math Quiz

In arithmetic, he wasn't strong.
This math quiz was taking so long.
It was hard to divide.
Still, he tried till he cried,
but the answers kept coming out wrong.

He would solve and immediately doubt
if he'd taken the most proper route.
He'd retry, but alas,
by the end of the class,
his eraser was simply worn out.

The bell rang. The quiz was now due,
but his sheet was a sad sight to view.
There was nothing but air
in assorted spots where
the eraser wore all the way through. 

The tests were collected and sent
to the teacher for grading. She went
through each page in the stack
and then handed them back.
He saw his grade: ninety percent!

He pondered his luck with a frown...
To the head of the class from class clown?
Was he smart? Well not quite,
every one he got right
had shown through from the next paper down!

Details | Prose Poetry | |

CHANGED MY Underwear,------- and My Name

change my name 
fairly often, I suppose

change my clothes 
area codes
and Imma' damn gypsy, ya' see

keep it fresh ta' death
speck of blood
ketchup on my attire

got more rhymes 
than I got grey hairs
that's an effing lot
because i got my share

digg a 
hot-fire piece of passionate verse
those are 
rare to find

if  only poets would 
unleash the fury 
instead of 
holding back
what's really 
on their mind...

I must say...
the library, 
the internet, 
the etc. etc...
would be a less stinky place...
AND, maybe 
I'd keep my name, and sever ties with 
underwear's elastic,
and just go 
APE-Spit Spastic!~

Details | Free verse | |

It's a really obscure poem, you probably haven't heard of it

Oh, you’re cool. Deck.
With your battered copy of Naked Lunch
tucked away in your thrift-store
		-satchel, it’s definitely a satchel-
that holds your cigarettes,
the ones you bummed last Wednesday,
and the extra scarf you keep with you
	at all times
just in case your neck gets cold,
which it seems to often,
even though its brother is always
wrapped loosely around your neck.
That iPod in your hand
with the huge headphones
		-for better acoustics-
is playing that band you like,
the one with the synth player
who can also play both
the didgeridoo and keytar
at the same time,
but I don’t think that’s the reason
that they only have five fans
or that that’s why you like them.
It’s okay,
I won’t tell your friends that
you pay your rent with a trust fund. 
		-Isn’t that ironic?-
I’ll keep your secret
the way you keep quoting Kerouac,
who you only know of
because of high school English class.
And no,
I won’t tell them either
that you hate the taste of coffee,
and miss eating bacon,
and actually think that tattoo
of a Palahniuk quote
		-“Your heart is my piñata”-
translated into Finnish
is not as clever as it was
the first time you tried cocaine.
But don’t worry. 
I won’t call you a hipster.
That way you don’t have to
pretend to hate it.

Details | Free verse | |

Roll Call

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

Details | ABC | |

Movie Mayhem---and I'm Exhausted

"American Grafitti" took me back again to High School in the 1960's
"Back to the Future's" nifty hot rod took me back in time and almost left me!

"City Slickers" took me way out west, to rustle cows and ride a horse
"Da Vinci's" code, did not bode well, the Vatican did not endorse!

"E. T. " turned out to be my friend, we peddled bikes far past the moon
"Forrest Gump" shared my lunch, and shared his chocolate just past noon

"Groundhog Day" is darn confusing, is it Monday or is it Tuesday?
"Hannibal" is one cruel dude,..........he sharpens teeth so he can chew me!!

"I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" invited me to toast their wedding
"Jaws"  invited me to take a swim!   Those who did, were soon regretting!
"King Kong", was one poor ape who climbed too high for past mistakes, 
"Lincoln" had too much at stake, but ended war between the states

"Mummy 1" and "Mummy 2"   made me cry for Mommy,...PLEASE!
"No Country for Old Men"...but young dudes look, and want to leave!

"O' Brother Where Are Thou?"  escaped their chains to play like Ringo
"Psycho's" bathtubs scare me silly, my next motel will be Flamingo's

"Quarantine" because I'm sick? If  I stay in bed, they call me lazy
"Rosemary's Baby"...yikes that kid? Babysit....?? Are you crazy?

"Superman" claimed that he could help me, but flew away with no advice
"Titanic" hit a piece of ice, (that Superman was not so nice!)

"Unforgiven" (now is Superman)...Clint Eastwood is the slicker guy
"Valkyrie"'s plot has thickened...Let's all poke Hitler in the eye!

"When Harry Met Sally" I was jealous....her cafe' scene has made me blush
Xanadu had me roller faster, while I'm dating

"Young Sherlock Holmes" was just a kid, I kid you not, he met his Watson
"Zoolander" 's slacks were Cuban made..  I borrowed some and they were awesome!

(and I'm exhausted!) 

For Cyndi's exhausting ABC contest!! Whew!

Details | Rhyme | |


During my elementary, high school and college educational quest,
I struggled to do my very best on every mathematical test.
I was a "B" student in English, History and Art as I recall,
But I never mastered the mysteries of mathematics at all!

Basic arithmetic such as division and multiplication left me at sea.
Even simple addition and subtraction overwhelmed me to a degree!
Trying to conquer the times-table gave me a shocking jolt!
Alas, teachers considered me a hopeless mathematical dolt!

Geometry baffled me as to which were acute and obtuse angles,
And even more perplexing were isosceles and scalene triangles!
Beyond me were the formulas for figuring the areas of hexagons,
Trapezoids, pyramids, circles, cubes and five-sided pentagons!

Teachers told me that for my future, algebra was indispensable.
Maybe so, but variables and coefficients were incomprehensible!
My limited intellect couldn't comprehend quotients and binomials,
Nor integrers, exponents, irrational numbers and trinomials!

Needless to say, I didn't attempt calculus or trigonometry!
Those disciplines were as foreign to me as parabolic geometry!
I'm eternally grateful to that selfless, ingenioius creator,
Who eased my plight by inventing the handy calculator!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Cinquain | |


Funny, Intelligent
Girl Charming Voice
There For The Homies
Cute, Not In That Way

Details | Lyric | |

The confusing world of Poetry

The confusing world of poetry

Clerihews, and couplets
Acrostics, and Haikus
Me head is spinning round and round
Oh Lord I’m so confused
I’d like to read about the stuff
But I really ain’t got time
I’m too busy trying to write
In rhythm and in rhyme

I never was so very clever
I flunked in all at school
I guess me dad, he got it right
He called me village fool
He tried to make me turn out clever
But he didn’t have a chance
Cause I’m a dreamer through and through
You can see that at first glance.

So I don’t know about complex things
I’m just a simple man
But me, I’ve wrote eight thousand songs
And I’ve done it cause I can
The words roll out like a waterfall
And they come just like they are
And I talk about love, and I talk about life
And the flowers and the stars.

25 July 2013 @ 0925hrs.

Details | Free verse | |

Homework... What homework?!?

The clock strikes nine. Ink fills the night sky, until the silvery orb in the heavens is the only source of light. 
The clock strikes twelve. Tiny pinpricks of light dot the raven-dark heavens. They shine brightly; as if each was 
trying to outdo the last. I sit. And stare. And wonder. The clock strikes three. I shift and pick up my 
homework. The assignment is a three page essay, due today. Should I do it? Nah... I toss it aside and resume 
my staring of the sky.

Details | Rhyme | |

Typically Luke Poem 11 - THE SPELLING TEST

Friday is spelling test day At the school where Luke does go Of course Luke hadn’t learnt the words He just didn’t want to know He should have learnt them every night Straight after tea But he’d much rather go out and play Or sit and watch TV Come Friday morning Luke claimed that he was ill A belly ache, an ear ache Though he refused to take a pill His acting didn’t fool anyone His lies did not prevail He went to school and took the test Of course, a massive fail But Luke isn’t all that bothered And he’s forgotten about his ‘pain’ He doesn’t have to worry about tests anymore Well, not until Friday comes around again.

Details | Haiku | |

More Randomness

Must finish homework
Bio, hard Math, and German 
Ooh! Look! Butterfly...

Details | Rhyme | |

Not Sofa King Cool

College Dorm sleeps
Four per room
Keg party 
Too much Boom

Drunk freshman sleeps
Where he falls
Coeds toss him on 
The sofa 
Instead of snooze in
the halls

Sorority girl 
Named him  
“Sofa King Tool”
Now he feels like a Fool
Not Sofa King Cool

Details | Monoku | |

Heartbeat Is A Love Beat { Broken Monku }

<                 seventh grade third hour spelling teacher

                                    heartbeat is just a silly love beat

Tribute To
Teenage Crushes
On Teacher's LOL

Details | Light Poetry | |


A young girl stood at the school hall wall,
Some paper in her hand,
She shuffled her shoes while eyeing the views,
And the news on a notice board.
This space looks so impersonal, the wall so pale and long,
While shoe heels clicked (click-clack, clickety-click), 
“Oh! No” was her thought,
So she turned to walk to the class she had just come from,
She bumped a teacher passing by, 
Forms and rulers to the floor did fly!
She knelt to help retrieve the mess
Showing stick-thin legs under her worn check dress,
The lady teacher had a smile “and this one’s yours
You’re new of course!”
She nodded once or twice,
“It’s really good, I think you (should) post
This on the spot at the side”
And so they did, the teacher and kid
That rumpled poem post.
“My name is Miss Jane, I hope we meet again
You’re sue or so I am told”.

Now years have rolled on  from that school they have gone.
No longer there to meet.sue did make a housewife proud and love she gave and took
(still) in her mind the prose she’d find, and times awhile to write.
Throughout the years – cares – smiles and fears,
She saved them in a sheaf, past daisy wheel
And golf ball type and word processor advent!
Until a day in December her Christmas gift was sent,
The slim flat box was waiting in season’s wrapping bright
She saw it as she opened the door
And on came the side wall light.
She opened it with nervousness bordering on fright
And held the  new computer, she thought
‘I’ll never get it right!’
She put it by, a week went past
And then a friend called in,
She showed it her, “Oh! Don’t despair”
Alice said and grinned.
“Sit down here, you’ll see my dear” the hour flew right by.
Twice more in a week, her Alice did teach
Then said “it’s time for you on your own to try
Come on now, get a grip!”
sue took the computer and opened her paper sheaf
“Oh dear”, said sue as she bumped the desk
Sending some to the floor in a mess
As she bent to pick them up, a yellowed one caught her eye,
It was rumpled at the edges and poor sue just started to cry
Oh dear, oh dear said Alice should we put it away?
No said sue in a tremble, I know what Miss Jane would say
I think that I will post it..! on this telekinetic screen
And yet I still do miss, that old notice board it seems,
It only feels like a morning ago 
Instead of those many long years
And so with  thin worn fingers,
yet Moving still quick for her age
She posted that poem forever,
Oh! Let’s hope she has passed that nervous stage!

© Joe Maverick 11-10-2010

Details | Rhyme | |

Tin Ribs

Well good golly her name is Holly and she has a lot of front
The first time that she met me, named me granddad elephant
Called her nanny, nanny coffee pot so she would have the set
Very forward is our Holly and I hardly know her yet

I gave her a nickname as a tease, just for a jest
Tin ribs what I call her so skinny not a pest
Likes Hannah Montana, club penguin and doing make up with sis
Dancing, high school musical and sweet and sour chicken is bliss

Loves pasta, reads Jacqueline Wilson, likes pink
Shooting basketball hoops after school is a must I think
Hates doing homework can’t stand candy floss
I even bet she thinks she’s the boss

Just a little tin ribs with much time to grow
Granddad elephant is glad we met don’t you know
See you soon Holly till then just take care 
Try doing some homework it seems only fair

Eat lots of candy floss to help you fill out
Then one day maybe I’ll be able to shout
No tin ribs any more but grand daughter elephant instead 
Perhaps not though its just  a tease in my head

Details | Rhyme | |

Conflict of Self-Interest

By: Amy

I need  to study, cannot go out...
I’m so behind, I simply must work...

I have a paper, and test real soon...
I can’t take a hangover on a Sunday...

I’ve so much concern, my GPA’s sunk...
I’ll be too tired, the night gets so late...

Really, grades worry me, school’s been tough...

Details | Sonnet | |

I'm Sorry, Billy Shakespeare

I despise sonnets, and they despise me.
So obnoxious with their fourteen line rhymes.
I’d rather be attacked by a banshee
Than be subjected to my mind’s rhyme-crimes.

Fingers tapping to the ten syllables.
Dead to the iambic pentameter.
Now I’m praying for the running of bulls.
A better poet would make my freezer.

o, I know Shakespeare would be so ashamed
To read the words that lay upon this page.
They do not stand to the man they are named.
A Shakespearean sonnet on rampage.

I know the man himself would not agree,
But thank God for rhyming dictionary.

Details | Rhyme | |

The Different Teachers At A Saudi School

If you ask me, who are my favorite
Teachers at school –well, I’d say there are six;
All of them are good friends too, you know –they’re
Like a box of assorted chocolates!

Miss Latifa is Black American,
She’s the coolest expat teacher at school –
She’s like a basketball –fun to play with
But if it hits your head it might hurt –that’s
When she yells at you –if you break her rules.

Miss Sultana is from Oman. She is
Our friendly teacher in Geography –
Her smiles are as innocent as babies’
And when she speaks she does so like sweet flight
Attendants discussing airplane safety.

Miss Rasha is from Morocco, our tall
And pretty teacher who teaches us French
She may look like a Barbie doll but her
Class is like a movie that brings suspense
For the zeros we get are too intense…

Miss Heba is from Jordan. She teaches
Us Math in a very delightful way –
Although Math is a subject that I hate,
I enjoy all the games she’d let us play –
She’s like a cool breeze in a scorching day.

Teacher Mashaa’el, a Saudi local,
Teaches us Islam in the subject “Deen”.
She teaches as fast as a cheetah runs,
Yet her lessons are well-taught and clear –And
Speaks like she has a mike so all can hear!

Teacher ‘Aisha is Saudi-Syrian and
Is the most beautiful teacher at school!
In many ways she’s like a lioness
In terms of character and when she rules –
She hates fakes and students who act like fools.

They work together as a team of friends
Whose friendship is as tight as clips and glue
They’re loyal to Allah first and foremost
And faithfully obey all the school’s rules
They’re excellent leaders though they are few!

Note: This is a made-up poem, not based on any character in real life :)

Details | Limerick | |

Girl in my Class

There once was a girl in my class.
One day I tried to make a pass.
My cheek still sting,
My ears still ring,
Yet married to me; Alas!

Details | Rhyme | |

The Sky is Calamotastrophing

"The Sky is Calamotastrophing!"
Screamed little Jenny Lou!
And everyone panicked, running this way and that!
I just didn't know what to do!

Amidst all the commotion,
I quite calmy asked,
"What does calamotastrophing mean?"
But Jenny didn't reply back.

The sky was calamotastrophing
right on her head!
Boy I bet she wished that today
she never got out of bed!

There were huge chunks of white stuff
thumping on the ground!
I could even see a glimpse
of a spark come out of a cloud!

The sky thought it'd be funny too
if it dumped water on us as well!
And so we were drenched with water!
Jenny wasn't happy! I could tell!

"Why are you doing this?"
I yelled to the sky.
It answered back with a freezing glob of powder.

But soon, the sky stopped
calamotastrophing for good!
"I'm glad that's over!" I said aloud.
At least the word calamotastrophing I finally understood!

Details | Rhyme | |

Gerkey's Jerky

There's a teacher named Gerkey. He sells lots of jerky. If you won't pay, he'll send you away, and you won't get jerky form Gerkey.

Details | Free verse | |

De Javu -High School

First week on a new job
De Javu, It's High School again

Employees talking about their twenties years celebrations 
Getting wasted and drinking
It's a dud of a conversation 
When I tell them I don't drink 

Then I begin listening
I'm sitting in a booth filling out a form
You guys are at the bar
Talking about another co-workers relationship storm

Oh man Oh man, 
I'm keeping work and personal separate
I really don't care how much they think I'm desperate
I'm sure they'll say I'm stuck up, 
Or tease over a few drinks I'll spill when tripping over a bump
But these guys at the end of the day
To my face, they'll have nothing to say  

Details | Rhyme | |

A Is For Athlete


When I was in high school, we had mandatory gym
Because it made us healthy, and because it kept us slim
So every day we'd work out for about an hour
Then we'd be told to take a lap and then go hit the shower

I wasn't very good at sports, and really not too fast
Whenever we would run the track, I'd usually come in last 
But in my class there were some guys quite skilled in sports it seems
Some who ran cross country and some on the track team

I remember on one given day while running round the track
Although I wasn't leading, I wasn't too far back
As we came round the last turn they weren't too far ahead
So instead of keeping up my pace I picked up speed instead

My breath was pretty ragged and both legs felt like lead
But my will was strong to beat them, so I just surged ahead
And just when I thought I would die I gave one final burst  
And miracle of miracles, I had come in first

The coach said “you can leave now, you're done for the day”
Then turning to the other guys said “I want you to stay”
Then he crushed my euphoria, so help me, I'm not lying
He told them to run it again, if I beat them they weren't trying

Details | Rhyme | |

The Nerd's Revenge

The Nerd’s Revenge

By Elton Camp 

In a high school class there once sat a nerd
Pocket protector, glasses all you’ve heard

Every answer that he gave was just right
Which filled a dumb blonde with spite

She was glamorous and sexy looking too
That she was a slut, all of them knew

“You nerds so disgust me,” she said
In embarrassment, boy’s face was red

At first, the kind teacher was at a loss
Then said, “He might become your boss”

The nerd said, “That quite unlikely to be.
I don’t plan to become a pimp you see.”

The bimbo thus got her just desserts
Now she’ll think lest a nerd she hurts

Details | Senryu | |

Disco Ball

Disco Ball
Frenetic feet tap;
Across the room
Shy boys gather,
First dance jitters crawl.

Details | Couplet | |

A Break of a Lifetime

I think I now deserve my break, 
Before my brain turns into steak!

My head is full of algebras, 
I have nightmares of Boyle's Law, 

Mughal rulers prance around
While in class, I sleep sound.

When I think of a little sac, 
I find a bundle on my back!

Numbers shower like raindrops, 
When the teacher starts to talk!

Homework, oh! homework times 10,
Is what I get to do, again,

I think I now deserve my break, 
Before my brain turns into steak!

Details | Rhyme | |

The Unfortunate Tale Of Roger Stodge

Little Roger Stodge School he loved to dodge Yes Roger loved to play The truant game His parents didn’t know That Roger didn’t go Everyday Roger Did the same Every morning with no fuss He’d get onto the bus Then get off again At the very next stop He’d spend his dinner money On candy bars made from honey And bottle after bottle of fizzy pop Roger thought it didn’t matter That eating junk food made him fatter Then one day, Headmaster came walking down the lane Roger, suddenly quite manic And in a hurried panic Jumped and hid in a sewer drain Headmaster walked on by Roger gave a relieved sigh But Roger was completely out of luck He wiggled and he wriggled He wriggled and he wiggled But alas poor Roger was completely stuck Now I am afraid I have to say Roger is still there to this day And you know, He didn’t even have to go to school It was the holidays For it was summer See not going to school Does make you dumber Silly Roger, the tubby little fool

Details | Verse | |

Silly Sailor

Joanna Davis

Once a silly sailor,
sat upon a ship
Drank a barrel of rum;
thought he’d take a dip
Looked left and right.
then over starboard side
Saw a hump back whale
so he asked him for a ride
'No!' Said the whale,
I’ve far too much to do
to spend time wasting 
with a sailor as silly as you!

Details | Verse | |

Grattitude First lesson in Christian Living

Dear little pony, the children’s clown,
Rough mane stands tall, his thick tail tumbles down.
Jiggety, jog.  Yes, some riders have frowned.
Dad can ride him with two feet on the ground!
He’s a tough little, nuggety, wonderful chap
Who can live on the roughest of diet mishap.
We don’t feed him oats much, he’ll founder on those,
But if you can ride him you’re right home and hosed!
He’s full of the tricks that intelligence brings.
He’s always a challenge until mummy sings
Out loud, lets him know that he can’t get away
With presenting his backside to children today.
The children must learn how to command him too.
It isn’t the easiest thing they must do,
But they look for the pleasure of riding again,
So they learn how to handle tough diamond disdain.
They must learn how to stop him from racing away
Towards home when his head is turned facing that way.
His mind is on resting with food in his trough,
But his job is to teach, and he does it but tough!
Tough diamond’s a doorway to wonderful thrills
In the glorious world of the horseman’s spills
And great challenges.  Once you can master this rascal
Nothing can daunt you.  Introductory sample
Of every excitement that riding can offer,
He’s cute, pert, adorable, and he can proffer
Essential abilities.  Gratitude is
The gateway to mastery, sire of bliss!
Every offence becomes laughable when
You think back to this tough little customer. Then
Your mind turns to teaching, as Daddy once did.
No more can the mud of offence cause a skid.
You’ll go round it.  Or jump it. There’s no need to fall
 When Gratitude’s mastered.  Remembering all
Those scuffles you had that your dad helped you through,
You’ll mother, or father, or teach others too.

Details | Rhyme | |

Snazziest Wheels In Town

The very first automobile that I ever owned,
Was a 1937 Ford sedan that was many times preowned!
I bought it when I was a junior in high school as I recall.
It would do about 55 miles per hour with the pedal to the wall!

I paid two hundred and fifty bucks for that snazzy set of wheels.
I worked at a grocery and a gas station to pay for that deal of deals!
Now, in my feckless youth, a plain lookin' vehicle wouldn't do,
So I adorned it with useless gewgaws to express my point of view!

First thing I installed was a fanciful knob on the steerin' wheel,
And not a few times it rapped my knuckles and made me squeal!
I had a pair of chrome spotlights to give it a modicum of sex appeal!
On the tailpipe was a gadget that projected a thunderous peal!

I had twin aerials installed, one for show and one for radio operation.
Attached to each was a foxtail that evoked curious fascination!
I affixed rear wheel fender skirts and mud flaps with red reflectors,
White sidewalls, fancy gearshift knob and feelers to act as curb detectors!

I had a guy install a horn that played, "Mary Had A Little Lamb!"
Cops thought it a nuisance and on many occasions it got me in a jam!
Dad told me that buyin' such stuff was foolish but I was havin' a ball!
(Years later, I myself found that you can't tell a teenager anything at all!)

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Limerick | |

February Funny Bone

I once met a guy by the name of Mort
By his record he must be very smart
At five, High School complete
College at six; a feat
A leaper; birthdays are four years apart

Submitted by Charles Sides

Details | Rhyme | |

The Qualities That a True Friend Must Have

What are the qualities that a friend should
have – that which would make a true friend so true?
A friend is one whom you like to be with
while a true friend insists on being with you.

A friend likes you when you have so much in
common. True friends like you who for who you are.
True friends make you feel as though they are at
all times near, although they are very far.

A true friend is one whom you can always
talk to, even at night when it is late -
when loved ones are asleep, a true friend is
always there to hear what you have to say.

Friends like to share, but a true friend always
gives you – not what you want, but what you need.
The feelings you hide, as well as your thoughts,
and your dreams,  a true friend can always read.

A friend may forgive you or they may not
forgive, for something wrong you’ve done to them.
A true friend forgives even when you don’t
ask. True friends forgive - again and again.

Friends are close when you are close to them. A
true friend wants your friendship to be closer.
A true friend does what is best for you, and
hates that you would end up with the losers.

A true friend teaches you lessons to help
you grow – lessons that are hard and easy.
A true friend is always there - having a
true friend can never make you feel lonely.

Friends may sometimes make mistakes, but a true
friend is always careful not to hurt you.
A true friend is a guide and a teacher.
A true friend knows everything you go through.

The true friend I mention is our God,
who kept you company before you were born.
The friendship of God, if you truly keep
and cherish, you will never feel forlorn.

The true friend we all need is God (Allah) –
the One who guides and can teach us lessons,
the One who hears our calls and understands,
the One always near – in every season –

Allah, as a Friend, never judges us
by the way we look and how we appear.
Allah, as a Guide, if we ask Him for
guidance, He guides us and makes our paths clear.

Allah is with us – each day and each night –
He is always there when all are asleep.
Allah always listens when others don’t.
He gives you comfort when He sees you weep.

Fortunate are those who have Allah as
a Friend. Friendship with God is friendship true.
May Allah bless me with His Friendship and
May Allah’s Friendship be shared with you too.


Miriam / Mariam Mababaya

Details | Light Poetry | |

My Big Brother Is Watching You Too

"My Big Brother" up and down the street
  He could be anyone you meet
  Spying on you from the street
  Looking in from every beat
"My Big Brother" isn't that sweet

"My Big Brother" and I don't know why
  Casting in from above the sky
"My Big Brother" the commie spy
  Listening in do or die
  Bringing his book in
  Taught within
My Big Brother, 1-800-LET-US IN
  Caught with paper and a pen 
All because, "My Big Brother" let himself in

Details | Rhyme | |

The One Who Finished Last in His Class

The One Who Finished Last in His Class

By Elton Camp

Not all teachers have equal smarts & skill
And a less able lawyer sure gives no thrill

There are found some West Point cadets
Whose graduation the academy so regrets

And the accountant who eked his degree
From him a large number of errors you see

There’s the last-place structural engineer
To cross his bridge there’s reason to fear

The almost failed pharmacist often will
Dispense to the patient a mistaken pill

The worst graduate of the beauty school
Won’t give very good hairdos as a rule

And the chiropractor who barely got by
Won’t know the right adjustment to try

The business school grad at end of the line
Won’t produce work that will be very fine

And with a medical school it’s just the same
Yet, last-place finisher, it’s doctor we name

Details | Light Poetry | |

We, the Students

                                                   We, the Students

The classroom may seem to you,
As a place very serious,
But there are monkeys,
The ones most mischievous.

We, the students, are there in disguise,
We may appear very serene and wise,
But to this coin, there is another side,
Which all neglect; try to avoid.

Angels in white dress,
Above the head a golden ring,
From inside, with horns and tails,
We're a devil- like thing.

Heads are stable, faces with smile,
Legs are busy kicking all the while.
Behind the book, the head one hides,
And is busy talking with the one besides.

The teacher turns to the board to write,
The students start their chalk fight,
When, about the scientific progress is told,
Various paper planes, in our hand, we hold.

When is taught the history of mankind,
The delicious food is dreamed of by our mind,
Busy is the pencil and the pen,
Renovating faces of great men.

When, the knowledge, the teacher feed,
Jokes, beneath our desk, we read,
Very skillfully all this is done,
Nothing is noticed by anyone!

Details | Rhyme | |

Sally Got A Plan

In days past, a scratch
on a Willow at school;
Bill I want to catch!
I want a plan for a kiss,
having a longing for stars.
I do not want shy bliss!
Sally has Glory today,
owing to a swift plan,
Bill did not slip away;
Sally had a frying pan!

Details | Rhyme | |

Christmas Letters

'Tis so nice at Christmas time to receive a colorful array of cards,
From kith and kin sending their warmest Yuletide regards.
I don't mind receiving bills or a summons to serve on a jury,
But opening a card and finding a Noel letter causes me some fury!

Such missives detail the doings of their entire family tree.
I have no idea who they're talking about - it matters not to me.
Their perfect kids are doing great, earning scholarships to Yale,
Yet there is no mention of one who 'tis well known ended up in jail!

So they bought each of the kids a brand new DTS Cadillac,
And they vacationed at their fancy condo in Fond du Lac,
But no mention that Mom and Dad are due in county court,
To begin bankruptcy proceedings since money has come up short!

Junior is a super-star on the local high school football team.
No doubt he'll be picked for an NFL team - that is his dream.
But no mention that he was quietly benched during mid-season.
He was caught smoking something funny seems to be the reason!

I enjoy receiving traditional cards depicting Santa's ponderous girth,
And especially those telling of the dear Savior's wondrous birth,
But please spare me those inane letters and their gobbledegook!
I'd just as soon relax by the fire and peruse my telephone book!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | I do not know? | |

Whelk With Extensions And A Uniform

You’re fake to the bone,
Hair, face, friendship;
Fake, fake, fake.

Walking around the school halls like top dog,
While we laugh as an extension falls out.
Pushing out that flat chest trying to emphasis.

Walking around swinging those hips so much, 
Girl, you should come with a hazard sign!
We wince as you use that deliberate shriek of a laugh.

You drape those orang-utan arms around his neck,
Craving his attention.

My man shakes you off and pulls me closer.
“Owww, what a whelk she is!” my man says to me,
I laugh and reply
“More like a whelk with extensions and a uniform!” 

Details | Light Poetry | |

My first sonnet

                                          Long ago during my school life			
                                          One day, I saw a beautiful girl 			
                                              of another school near by			
                                              She smilled at me first time			
                                                  I did not know why 			
                                              My heart beats did a crime			
                                                 After few days gone			
                                                 I did never see her			
                                             My first Sonnet till I incur	

For Contest: Sponsored by PD		

Details | Free verse | |

Geeky Boys and Busty Girls

In the little town called Cleveland
Some many years ago
In a high school gymnasium
Met a group of girls and boys
Since early in their childhood
They were plagued by many peers
Because they lacked
The perfect look
Like many other kids

After many years of torture
Constant badgering from everyone
They decided was time to take a stand
Claiming freedom once again
The group contained the branded
The freaky geeky boys
The girls slightly on the heavy side
A few all rolled in one

They called their club the meeting 
Of freaky boys and busty girls
Requirement was be outcast 
From the preps the jocks “the toys”
They arranged a simple protest
Simple protest most fun
To prove that being different 
Is not so bad and can be fun

They stripped down to nothing
But a smile on every face
And marched the halls of Cleveland High
In unison they did say
Though we may all look different 
Inside we’re all the same
So accept us if you will or not
We’re happy just the same

The faculty at the school that day
We outraged by what they saw
Forty teenage girls and boys
Marching naked down the hall
Parents quickly contacted
Expulsion all around
For the kids labeled freaks and geeks
Their victory it was found

Though the protest was very different
The idea quite deranged 
Respect was granted on that day
For the group with guts to say
Being different is not so different
Can be cool they all proclaimed
For the geeky boys and busty girls
Were proud for each that day

The moral of this story 
Though odd but very true
Though outside one looks different
Inside the pages read so true
Looks aren’t that important 
But the hearts all beat the same
We are all just like 
The kids 
From Cleveland high that day

Details | Rhyme | |

Band 101

In Junior High, I decided to try
to play an instrument

I joined the band, French horn in hand
determined to make music

I lugged my horn, ready to mourn
for myself, as I walked home

Although I practiced, my butt, this horn kicked
I could never play a song

The noise I did play, made all ears run away
and was painful to mine as well

Like howling dogs, the sound was all wrong
and frightening to my neighbors

Children cried on my street, men were white as a sheet
mothers ran out to buy ear plugs

But I didn't upset, became teacher's pet
And won the band's top accolade

With trophy in hand, I took a stand 
and never returned to band

This is a true story but SLIGHTLY exaggerated

By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, January 31, 2012
5th place in Self Exaggerations contest

Details | Free verse | |

Hot Oil In China

We have hot oil in China,
  Rising slowly from the ground
  There is a deep dense fog hovering round

The air is smokey, so dense it seems green
  The sun so hot it's making everyone lean
  Curfews so early all think it's obscene

And the hot oil keeps rising, if you know what I mean
  Hot oil keeps rising, it doesn't go down
  It's been well over a month since it covered the ground

Machinery moves carelessly all through the night
  I bothers us so much we boarded up the windows tight
  I bought ear plugs but I gave them to my brother Mike

Bells keep bleeping on and off go the lights
  So another pair of ear plugs I bought
  School won't let me wear them, saying I'll rot

So I decided to grow my hair long 
  Hide my ear plugs under it all day long

But when I go home at night 
  And I cover up really tight
  And I pray because theres nothing else we can do
  Oh hear me Lord, don't let my mother find the ear plugs in my shoe

Details | Verse | |


Joanna Davis

Bulging bags, a half eaten bun
Scribbled postcards penned on the run
Victoria station, just two stops away
From the end of another short holiday
Summers over, time to return 
To cooking and cleaning, the list goes on and on
Souvenirs a plenty; a mug of the queen
Galleries and gardens, no sight left unseen
Last hugs and kisses, watering eyes
No time for tears, or long goodbyes
Days we’ll long remember, You and I
Funny how quickly, the time’s flown by
I’ll write you; I promise, a letter each day
Until it’s your turn to come over, and stay

Details | Prose | |

Snake Charmer

He hunted snakes, raided nests of snake babies, tied strings to their tails,
took them to school. Tucked inside his desk, baby snakes escaped,
slithered down, made their way across the schoolhouse floor and down
through a hole in the floor.

At recess, my brother could be found, crawling under the schoolhouse,
hunting for his snakes. Crazy brother, playing with snakes, chasing us
girls to hear us scream, hiding snakes in hollow stumps, securing their
prison with a board, weighted down with a rock. 

Many years later, ironing his shirt in our basement family room, a yell,
“It’s a snake!” He’s taking the stairs, in doubles, to put distance between
himself and the snake, who had crawled in through the fireplace vent. It
was a harmless garden snake. We had the last laugh.

Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever Loved Someone So Much You'd Cut An Arm Off For Them

Literally cut off an arm for them
                 shrivelling white bone protruding, screaming from the pale flesh
The ultimate expression of honey, darling, sweetheart
   and wonder.
Floating like cannonballs, just dying
 batteries. No more  struggling, flailing legs.
Excitedly scribbling next to me 
   a feeling like jeans upon your touch    or fresh toast
crisp yet damp.
  I’d just like to shake you. Rattle the bones beneath your
skull, maybe even kill a few brain cells if I feel like it 
   and where have they taken you, claiming you
but not my legs and arms. Perhaps I do not wonder enough 

Dangling on the edge of the world,
You do not forsake those offering solace
   Rather you slice and cut until the edge of the world ends 
And becomes your very own playground.
 Then you need not worry,
   but had better bloody worry.
After all it’s what makes you, and us, human. 

Details | Rhyme | |

The Love Note

Dear John, since I am just thirteen
And you're thirteen years old too,
It is not inappropriate
That I send this note to you.

I tried not to laugh when Teacher
Got so mad her face turned red,
When you spoke of Consciousness,
Not understanding what you said.

She didn’t rap your knuckles
But I know she wanted to.
My mama says when she was young
That’s what teachers would do.

It was brave of you to stand there
As she shouted and berated,
For you knew well of what you spoke
And I thought it so well stated.

But we are not to speak of God
In this modern day, at school.
That’s the reason Teacher frowned
And said you broke the rule.

My mama says it’s forward 
To pass notes to boys.  I’m shy,
So I won’t say I love you,
But I wish I could. Goodbye.

By: Joyce Johnson
For: “Passing a Love Note” contest

Details | Rhyme | |

Am I Writing Still

I'm in the examination hall, Going for yet another fall-- Nothing to gain--though all is lost (Laziness has had its cost) The paper's done--time's there-- I haven't any idea--how could I care... This Test for sure has gone no good, Had I studied, score I could.. But all is all--gone and over-- I surely need the Four-Leaved Clover, 'cause Luck's gone, all skill's lost My mind's been the Devil's host... Never before in the past, I had found myself aghast From Studies and Logic needed here (God! If only I had cared....). The Brain's lost its normal function Of Reason and Assertion-- So much so that I'm tired now, Did few sums--I dont know how... So I sit here to compose this verse, Hoping someday to shake away my Curse.....

Details | Monorhyme | |

Loss of Sanity

Schizophrenic with borderline split personality,
And just a touch of paranoia tendencies,
THAT is what the doctors call me!
Long ago I lost my sanity,
And gave into illusions of trickery,
While occasionally becoming someone that is not me.
I used to sit quietly,
Listen to lessons intently,
That was before I discovered insanity…
I started to yell loudly,
About school being a conspiracy,
That's when they locked me ecstatically.
So I know the truth finally,
I am not the embodiment of serenity,
As it stated in my prophecy.
So I sit in my white room contently,
As I write my pretty poetry,
About the loss of my sanity.

Details | Rhyme | |

KiddieKat Crawl

Pitter Patter kitty's natter,
meow on the wall
eight to go after the fall-
what a whisker risk-er!
And such a minxy tinker!
The paws at the door
straight to the cupboard crumb
sneaky biscuits for the tum,
and into the hall a cry "Mum!-
What's for dinner?"

Details | Free verse | |

Geeky Boys and Busty Girls

In the little town called Cleveland
Some many years ago
In a high school gymnasium
Met a group of girls and boys
Since early in their childhood
They were plagued by many peers
Because they lacked
The perfect look
Like many other kids

After many years of torture
Constant badgering from everyone
They decided was time to take a stand
Claiming freedom once again
The group contained the branded
The freaky geeky boys
The girls slightly on the heavy side
A few all rolled in one

They called their club the meeting 
Of freaky boys and busty girls
Requirement was be outcast 
From the preps the jocks “the toys”
They arranged a simple protest
Simple protest most fun
To prove that being different 
Is not so bad and can be fun

They stripped down to nothing
But a smile on every face
And marched the halls of Cleveland High
In unison they did say
Though we may all look different 
Inside we’re all the same
So accept us if you will or not
We’re happy just the same

The faculty at the school that day
We outraged by what they saw
Forty teenage girls and boys
Marching naked down the hall
Parents quickly contacted
Expulsion all around
For the kids labeled freaks and geeks
Their victory it was found

Though the protest was very different
The idea quite deranged 
Respect was granted on that day
For the group with guts to say
Being different is not so different
Can be cool they all proclaimed
For the geeky boys and busty girls
We’re proud for each that day

The moral of this story 
Though odd but very true
Though outside one looks different
Inside the pages read so true
Looks aren’t that important 
But the hearts all beat the same
We are all just like 
The kids 
From Cleveland high that day

Details | Free verse | |

A Township Day - A School time memory

This is a true story of seven students
Agone days of those ill-famed fiddles
Musing with drolleries – assiduity on catchy missies
And lamed against educators animalism.
Books usually kept aside but concentration hard on last night
Weekends glossed upon soul mate’s hug
Weekdays went upon escaping tutorials
And the freshers on boozing thought, to try out school time dipso bash. 

Once in the winter of two thousand one
Seven students planned for such a dipso bash
By escaping from school in the first half
After the party, to rejoin their lectures in the second half. 
This was just an act of vengeance
To prove the youthful independence
They tried to live with self prominence
Extropies to get caught, was out of their dominance. 

One among them sorted out the program
After the assembly followed by the literature lecture
They are to jump over the fence, a height of twelve feet,
Bounded by the cycle stand.
The bell rang and before the second lecture started
They adhered to their plan. 
One followed the other, eyes sleuthing everywhere
Fortuitously they moved along the corridor
To the cycle stand.

The guard might have gone for a cup of tea
Hence the coast was clear, and
Those sleuthing eyes calculated the time
And decided to involve into a black-listed crime.
The fence was too high, yet didn’t bothered them
One bicycle was supported to the wall
And the other was carefully placed on top
One was holding and others climbed up
The last one to go somehow made the jump. 

Scatted seven breached the rules
And pelted along the street,
The moment of triumph was cracked by relish,
Towards the destiny, only belonged to those educatees. 
Everything was planned - two large Royal Stag
Seven disposable glasses and potato chips,
The cold water and ice cubes then blended their time with juvenility
An awaited moment, felt like a walk to the heaven. 

Blitzed seven minds headed for the school
By the plan they were going to attain those second-half lectures
Wobbling through the corridors all the seven
Were now the back benchers of the class
Caught by few classmates and asked to keep numb.
Two lectures over the last one to go
Those dreadful sleepy eyes 
Somehow looked very attentive in class for the first time.

Lectures were over and they escaped luckily
The act of vengeance 
Ultimately proved their independence
All they did was just to encounter the consequence.

Details | Free verse | |

lost, found, and liberated

i use to lie awake at night 
and ponder of this pointless life 
up for hours and not make a sound 
i once was lost but now i am found
my sea of confusion, like moses did part
the instant i let jesus inside of my heart...
but than i let out a gigantic huge fart 
and realized it was just indigestion 
than like a sensible person, i began to question 
and out of those questions, came rational thought 
and all of the things in school i was taught 
like critical thinking and following facts 
so i came to the conclusion: religions a quack 
now i live happily, in awe of earth's mysterious beauty 
and if you don't like it, you can kiss my patooty

Details | I do not know? | |

high sChOOL

He said, She said
That's all you seem to hear
When you walk down the hall
It's the same thing every year

Unecessary drama
That's all high school's about
You can try to avoid being trapped in it
But you'll never find a way out

Life was so simple
Before our high school days
Before we became caught up
In the 'how to be popular' craze

High school's so overrated
Ive waited 13 years to say
Im a senior so leave me out of it
I'm just here til Graduation Day

Details | Lyric | |

I Am A Jock

A bad play
On a deep and dark September
Gazing from these bleachers
To that ref who blew that call
On a freshly painted court in the middle of fall

I am A Jock
I am A Flock

I've got balls
A fortress deep and plenty
That none will discinagrate
For friendship brings me joy
It's laughter from my best friend Roy

I am A Jock
I am A Flock

Don't talk  hate
For I've heard much before
It's resting in my head
And I'll try not to wake
So It doesn't make you cry
For if I never would of put on that cup
You've  never heard  awwwww shut up

I am A Jock
I am A Flock

I have my hooks
And my cup to protect me
I am such a world charmer
Hiding behind an ump
So another won't bump
I touch no one and he better not touch me

I am A Jock
I am A Flock

And a Jock feels no pain
And a flock seems to die

This is off spin
To Simon And Garfunkle's
I am A Rock    LOL
Gl All

Details | Burlesque | |


Every afternoon at 12:24
Dwell the long gray moments in the middle
Bewildered and lost in a dark tunnel
With no merciful light on either side
Five days a week just at 12:24
Dwell relentless wormlike tickings of time
And every time I look, hoping for hope
The cold face always says 12:24
Stuck in the road, rolled into the gutter
Down to a silent screeching stop, and I
Can’t go forwards or not even backwards
Time’s cruel trick leaves me at 12:24
In some years it might be 12:55
And heaven’s trumpets sing Oh glory! But
Every afternoon at 12:24
I despair.

Details | Bio | |

School's Out.

                                         School's Out.

"Hooray,Hooray",the children say,as they all run out the gate,
All of them racing,not looking bak,not wanting to be late.
School's out,you see,and their so glad,they've waited for this time,
It's been so long,time's driffted by,and now the bell's do chime.
Scurrying,and rushing,grabbing books,bags,and pens,
Almost like a chicken farm,wild geese,and flocks of hens.
Their all so very happy,that this day has finally come,
It seem's they've waited for so long,at least I'm sure,for some.
Laughing,scurrying,yelling,running to and fro,
Typical of children,that would be right,always on the go.
Sighs,from parents,releif and despair
But from the children,not even a care.
Hollidays now,sleep in's,and stay's out,
Plenty of time,there is now,to get out and about.
Plans for week-ends,for days,through the week,
As heads get together,for suggestions,they seek.
"Oh,God",say the parents,"God,please give us strenght",
As plans,come together,at any great lenght.
"Chill",say's the parents,be strong and be brave,
Hopefully,the children,will stay good,and behave.
Such are the feelings,all thoughts,that run wild,
School's out,for the children,Oh,God,please bless the child.

By Sharon.L.Leonard.  8th,November,2007.

Details | I do not know? | |

Be Garfield For More Than A Day

Let's face it you're getting old
You can't deny it
Your time has come to retire
You didn't get fired, more like you quit

You say you'll miss us
But I know that's not true
You're glad to be home
You'll pretend to be Garfield, that's what you'll do

You might miss having something to do
But tv will take it's place
You'll kick back and relax
Next time I see you, you'll have a real smile on your face

So enjoy your retirement
Be Garfield for more than a day
You've served your time in this prison (school)
But tech. it's time to be on your way

Details | Bio | |

I am a Funny Guy who Follows the Rules

I wonder what life is for
I hear the Foo Fighters live
I see flying cars in the future
I want to be a director
I am a funny guy who follows the rules

I pretend I am Taylor Lautner
I feel very happy with my life
I touch my driver’s license when I’m 16
I worry that I will die of early age
I cry when people screw up their lives with drugs
I am a funny guy who follows the rules

I understand the meaning of life
I say that you should believe in heaven
I dream that I will marry the love of my life
I try to do my best at school
I hope that I will make it through high school steadily
I am a funny guy who follows the rules

Details | I do not know? | |

The Face Girl

So I wake up every morning at five thirty,
Have to take a shower, I feel so dirty.

Get dressed and off I go to the bus,
Every morning tired and sad but I
Don’t make a fuss.

Have to get to the bus stop early and wait,
Don’t really mind accept for the people
In their cars, they are the ones I hate.

Finally arrived, a half hour before school starts,
Sit down and “Face” walks by and farts.

Turn on the computer and pull out my books,
And watch them all give “Face” dirty

You see “Face” rides a bike to school 
But we all know it’s a cover
 for her “witch’s” broom. And
that’s because of the way
she acts in the classroom.

Geez all she seems to do it itch and nag
No one cares “Face” your just an
some old hag.

At least there isn’t a dull moment here,
But if I get annoyed 
I’m gonna flick her in the ear.

Details | I do not know? | |

School life

School life is a bore
Of this I am sure
Coming to school 
Five days a week
While others enjoy themselves
Out there on the street
Seeing teachers 6 hours a day
And most of them being very ugly anyway

School is boring 
Thats a fact
Seeing people dis' each other 
And get maliced back
I am so bored
Yes, it's true
By writing this poem
Which was not for you :p

Details | Rhyme | |


Daddy's brother Bill came from school
With a note from teacher
That said he'd been impertinent
In class Bill a brasher

Daddy said what's so bad was
Definition drew  blank
Impertinent beyond his dad's 
Education's low rank

The children heard dad quietly say
My father was on school board
Way back, now my son's impertinent
With behavior I'm floored 

Well of course a note home not good
Impertinent couldn't be good
Uncle Bill thought of a way out
A scheme he understood

He went back to the school with plan
Told the teacher his dad
Was on the school board and would come
To see what was so bad

He thought that would get the teacher
Thinking different way
Well let me tell you little ones
Didn't work then won't today


Details | Free verse | |

Mayhem in the Mourning

Sleepy, I walked down the senior hallway
The last door on the left seemed miles away
But I was determined to make it
It was 7:26 in the morning, assignment due 7:30
My hands were sweating bullets
Felt as if every senior had their eyes on me
Assignment in hand, I started my journey
Nerd, jocks, cheerleaders all bunched together in one walk-way
You would think I was a running back, of some sort
Dodging the potential mayhem
Judy with the big booty was being so loud
Laughing and screaming with her friends
Drew and the crew obnoxious as usual,
Were going over plays, at least it looked like it
Trampling any victim in their path
The Nerd Bird flocking in e=mc2
Calculate who will have a date in time for prom
Starting with Judy, my hands were no match
The sound waves catapulted me into the lockers
Side to side I juked, spun, and jumped
Like a magnet bouncing off the rhinoceros crew
For the Nerds, I only had to say one thing…
“I already have a date for prom…”
That sent them into a mathematical frenzy
Looking at their watches they said, “Prom is exactly
218 days 13 hours 27 minutes and 10 seconds away…
There is no way you have your date!”
While they babbled on I was on the move
The last mayhem was upon me: The hall monitor
He already saw my awesome display of athleticism
But didn’t find it amusing, He was one of those guys…
If you dropped a piece of paper on the floor, detention
I just distracted him by saying, “I didn’t have breakfast…”
We both didn’t know where that came from 
So I just kept waking while he was still confused
Stumbled into class, discrediting my previous display 
And turned in my homework assignment

Details | Rhyme | |

Teaching Is Not

Teaching is not brain surgery,
But it is brain enhancing.
Teaching is not rocket science,
Unless you’re assigned to teach it.
Teaching is not a bad profession,
But you do to prepare meaningful lessons.
Teaching is not what just what formal educators do.
Teaching is part of every career that you choose.
Teaching is not terrible.
It could be fun,
Especially if your students are learning,
And the teacher and the good grades are dancing,
Believe me it is rewarding and unbearable.

wrote Fall 2004 
while student teaching @ Neville High School in Monroe, LA,
while a student @ ULM

Details | Free verse | |

Don't Spill The Beans

let's See
     If He

Will Hang
     With Gang

Or Will
 Just Spill

How Many
If Any


Are there

In A

Year ?

Now Don't 
Leave Me

Hanging !   { LOL}

Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Dude in homeroom

Dude, guess what?
Yesterday, I got to go through my dad’s dealership
and pick out a sweet ride for my 16th birthday!
It’s a convertible, dude
It’s a hot rod, dude
It’s red, dude
It’s a hot, hot rod
And it’s got chrome-covered wheels!
Wait until the guys get a load of this!
Dude, this weekend, wanna go get drunk?
Ah! Dude! I totally saw my wellness teacher
at the Rush yesterday! She was
benching more than half the football team!
I could totally take her though!
I’m not going to let a woman tell me what to do!
Dude, I better retake the ACT this Saturday
I totally need a 16 to play on the football team
at Northwestern Kentucky State Community College!
Remind me not to drink too much after the game!
And we’re totally gonna smoke Blount County! Huh! Huh! Huh!
Dude, this guy totally looked at me funny
in the bathroom between classes! Man, we gave him the
hugest swirly! You shoulda been there!
Dude, I got practice after school today
but afterwards, you wanna go roll that queer in Bio class?
Whaddya say?

Details | Senryu | |


The thinking noodle
Use it sometimes and let no
One noodle fool you.

Wrote Fall 2004
while student @ University of Louisiana-Monroe

Details | I do not know? | |

The Face Girl

So I wake up every morning at five thirty,
Have to take a shower, I feel so dirty.

Get dressed and off I go to the bus,
Every morning tired and sad but I
Don’t make a fuss.

Have to get to the bus stop early and wait,
Don’t really mind accept for the people
In their cars, they are the ones I hate.

Finally arrived, a half hour before school starts,
Sit down and “Face” walks by and farts.

Turn on the computer and pull out my books,
And watch them all give “Face” dirty

You see “Face” rides a bike to school 
But we all know it’s a cover
 for her “witch’s” broom. And
that’s because of the way
she acts in the classroom.

Geez all she seems to do it itch and nag
No one cares “Face” your just an
some old hag.

At least there isn’t a dull moment here,
But if I get annoyed 
I’m gonna flick her in the ear.

Details | I do not know? | |

Things in MY Head When Im Bored

Why is that banana flying?
Is that little dust bunny dying?
I hope not, bunnies are cool!
What was that
woops... sorry mom
im gonna do a cartwheel...
oh junk i just died
nevermind im in the bathroom
the light is bright in there
jk i heart you mucho
where are my long black socks 
wheres my phone?
where are my band shoes
where is my flute
at the high school in the rain...
omg MOM

~Brittany Amsden~

Details | Free verse | |

What I Did Over My Summer Vacation

I chopped and hoed and planted seed
... dug a swimming hole
I picked and shucked and canned the corn
.... killed an ugly mole..
I read some books then read some more..
.... climbed up the old pine trees
I fell right down and hit the ground
.... Skinning both my knees.... 
I played a song .. and danced a spell 
... on Grandma's metal drum
and though she tried to look away
...  I heard my sister hum..
Now that  it's time for back to School..
..  I hate to hear them say..
Now write some words that tell us how spent the holiday!

Details | I do not know? | |

AP history

AP history 
What a misery

AP history 
What a misery

Quizzes, tests
I took the class
To rest

AP history
What a misery

Too hard of work
Too many words

AP history
What a misery

All the tension
Put around the
Document based question

AP history
What a misery

How I passed
The class
Is a mystery

AP history 
What a misery

Details | Burlesque | |

The Sheakspeare Paradox

there's something wrong here,
something wrong with what we're taught
teaching us things that amount to naught
or preposterous suggestions we have "bought"

take Sheakespeare......
the guy used a feathered pen and ink
I doubt if he even had a spear!!!
such a notion, to me seems very queer...

and if, in fact, a spear he had....
why would he shake it??
was he some kind of crazy lad?

I don't understand, and never will,
the things they teach us are such swill.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Our Teachers

A Teacher is someone with a very kind heart
In all of our lives, they play a big part
A Teacher is someone who cares for us all
They remind us of things like, "Don't run in the hall"!
They teach us things like Math and Spelling
The best thing of all, they do it without yelling!
They offer us guidance in doing our best
It's all up to us to do the rest
Without our Teachers, where would we be?
Our Teachers are very important you see
Sometimes we forget how important Teachers are
It's time for us to give them a gold star
Our Teachers have dedicated their lives to us all
They can pick up our minds when they begin to fall
Our Teachers are wonderful in every way
We should be thankful for them every day
So, when the school year finally comes to an end,
When you say good-bye to each and every friend,
As you start your summer and fun in the sun,
Remember to thank your Teachers for all they have done

Copyright © 1998   Shari E Davis

Details | Rhyme | |

More Zany Headlines

More Zany Headlines

Actual newspaper headlines taken mainly from

Poem constructed by Elton Camp

Let us hope that they will soon decide:
“Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide”

Surely safety standards this abridges:
“Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges”

We surely expect that the voltage won’t be as large:
“Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge”

Before you eat, give them whacks:
“Kids Make Nutritious Snacks”

This headline is certain to make you laugh:
“Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half”

The community was shocked when this they read:
“Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead”

Not enough training the following suggests:
“Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests”

It’s a disease of humans one assumes:
“Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms”

As Abel got from Cain:
“Man is fatally slain”

The warning should be sounded louder:
“Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder”

When she’s sick, she’ll be lots more fun:
“Never Withhold Herpes from Loved One”

His honor should someone impeach?
“NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach”

Surprises seem they will never cease:
“Children Alleged Shot by Police”

Headline writers easily get into quite a plight
If what they compose doesn’t come out right 

Details | Burlesque | |

A Book for Jude - 2003

The making of a book,
with love within it's pages;
should be a piece of cake,
and not take her ages!

Where's Denise? asked Molly,
In answer came a look;
I think she's in the staff room,
making a book.

Oh! that makes sense,
I wonder if she needs a hand;
the fact she's in a muddle;
I quite understand !

Can I give assistance,
anything I can do?
"Old pictures, if you've any
that would save the day".

At home theres photos everywhere,
Denise cannot be found,
Colin's waiting for his tea,
but D's gone underground.

Hours, days, a week gone by,
the end is in sight; she's nearly there,
with camera still in hand,
no-ones safe; no place to blinkin' hide!

Late at night 'n' early morn,
bags beneath her eyes;
"not enough hours in a day"
the staff hear her say...

Not a glue -stick left in school,
Denise has used the lot.
computer hogging, scanner manning;
she's an expert at them all.

At last; at last, it's done and finished,
every word and picture.
children's work, upon the cover;
she wipes the sweat from her brow,
and binds it all together....phew !

Details | I do not know? | |

Pink Is O.K.

don't you just love 
the skin your in?
dimples on your cheeks 
when you smile and grin
light and darkness make beauty begin
blending  elegance and cuteness
from forehead to chin
your eyes
for the very first time i've seen
"The windows of the soul"
your hair 
I would prefer black or grey
but for now, i guess pink is O.K.
don't you just love the skin your in?
i do

Details | ABC | |

I erred my cores

When I was born
Somebody might have thought, ‘he is going to bring wealth’,
It was hard to look outside
Though some might have thought, ‘he is going to be a visionary’,
I cried, I was innocent and I was well-thought-of
Someone might have thought, ’he will be famed’.
I wondered, the world so crazy -
At first breath, why they are so dependent on me?

The poor baby in me stepped as a kid
ABCDE became easy.
One plus two equals to three
Later multiplications and divisions
Ruined my vital capacity. 
I gave up with arithmetic and outraged against history
I wondered and grew, why the people lived with such difficulty!!!
Earth core, landmasses, oceans made me clear
But altitude and latitude made it heavier.
Left with literature, I made it going
Yet, recitation and dictation made it receding.
Primary came out of struggles
And later in high school came with more hurdles.
Erstwhile subjects totted by unwanted hindrances  
Physics, Chemistry and Bio-Logy were additional weightages. 
Accompanied by curricularism 
Sports, paintings and crafts became to be favoritism. 
Someone might have thought, ‘his mind is full of asceticism’.
Cried with science 
And accountancy gave back my smile,
Calculator and company books
Were carried for rest of the time.
Someone might have thought then, ‘he will be a quaestor’.

I was wondering, ‘what will make my profile!!!’
Confusion and complexity aroused
And after my masters 
Am I heading to be Manager?
I summed up my weaknesses 
And was not left with any strengths 
I switched on my bulb without filament 
And I oohed myself
Did I end up as a writer then???

Details | Rhyme | |

Fruits and Veggies

Boys and girls, I want to let you know.
That fruits and veggies don’t mysteriously
Show up at the grocery store.  
They are planted by farmers,
Who sow seeds that are watered,
And maybe treated with some type of fertilizer.
The farmer gives the seeds time to sprout with leaves.
Then he or she clears the ground from harmful weeds,
That could cause them to get a disease.

Then after a few months, you will see much growth.
The fruits and veggies are picked, cleaned well,
And shipped to the grocery store.
So love the farmer,
He is not just some country guy or girl.
He is a good citizen who takes care of the world.
So, now boys and girls you know how fruits and veggies grow.

Details | Free verse | |

Last Monday

The Catholics came to Junior school last Monday
And took my sister out of Maths
The rules had changed
They'd read The Book
Averages could no longer be taught in class

"One, plus one, plus one, the teacher said, equals three
And divided by three is one.
But Jesus, plus God, plus the Holy Ghost equals,
And divided by three is

Infinite Power!"

My hamster passed away last Monday
His soul left to be judged
I hope that when the good are numbered
That God knows how to count.

Details | Free verse | |

Real Women Sweat

My goodness but its hot
I'm wringing wet.
"Women perspire," he said,
"only men sweat."

Well, guess again buddy
maybe la-de-dah ladies perspire,
but Real Women sweat
and right now I'm on fire.

In high school my mother
would take me to the beauty parlor
to get me a fancy  dance doo
and then later I'd hollar

Because after a dance or two,
my hair would be dripping wet.
I was so embarrassed
all covered with sweat.

Air conditioning is just too cold
and it smells funny,
so I sit in front of a fan
when it gets too sunny.

But running out for chores
in 90-degree heat
is no fun at all
I just come home beat.

So you'all have a good summer ...
and I still say it yet ...
that ladies may perspire,
but Real Women sweat.

Details | Rhyme | |

Hair's Fair Share

                  Thought I had the ugliest hair 
                    in the whole neighborhood;

     rebelliously stiff and coarse, hard-headedly  
                               thick and crude;

            long or short, gel and comb it fought 
                       like it was made of wood,

          like a furious porcupine bristling at you
                                  if you're rude;

             but then at our high school reunion 
                          it made me feel good;

                though unkempt 'twas the object 
                              of salivating envy

                       of those who paid dearly 
                for a hair transplant or a toupee;

          so now about my hair I have a happier 
                                  point of view:

       just comb it slow,make it glow, so it won't 
                                 abandon you!

Details | Free verse | |

This Poem's Possible Future

I think it might be strange
To see this in a child's book someday
For students to memorize;
What would the teachers say?
What would the students think?
Would they use it in a play?
Would they recite it word for word?
Or they might throw it away
Because they think it absurd,
As I do today.

Details | I do not know? | |

Summer All Year Long

What if summer lasted all year?
I would never have to go to school.
What if reading constantly made you popular?
I would be super cool.
What if sour gummy worms were good for you?
I would be their number one fan.
What if poems were wishes that actually came true?

Details | Free verse | |


Writing about marriage
when you're getting married
is hard.

Writing about marriage
when you're getting married
while you're still a student
is hard.

Writing about marriage
when you're getting married
while you're still a student
while you're sitting in a classroom
is hard.

Writing about marriage
when you're getting married
while you're still a student
while you're sitting in a classroom
when you're really not getting married
is harder.

Details | Free verse | |


There will always be haters as long as your doing good
They want what you got that's why they always talking
I learned something today that I should've already known
I learned that I should never let a hater rip apart my soul
I must stay strong against these haters and let them see
that the reason why their hating is cause they can't get like me
Watching my every move whispering about everything I do
Man can't a girl just live without you watching me like pay per view? 
Sometimes having these haters around can be a draining ordeals
Sometimes I let it get to me to the point where I feel myself breaking
But I know that I can't lose to them. It's there choose if they can't forget me
I feel honored that I get mentioned in so many sentences 
I must really be popping for you to be non stop mentioning me
Do you see how I look? I know you wish you could be me 
But the reality is that you can't is that why you choose to hate on me?