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Funny Philosophy Poems | Funny Poems About Philosophy

These Funny Philosophy poems are examples of Funny poems about Philosophy. These are the best examples of Funny Philosophy poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Cowboy | |

Hard Times

When hard times come they sit a spell, Like kin folk come to stay A-packin' troubles, pets an' kids That always get ‘n your way. It's drought an' flood, an' flood an' drought, There ain't much in-between. You work like hell to make ’em good, But still they’re sorta lean. The ranch went under late last year, The drought got mighty tough. The boss held-out a long, long time, But finally said, "enough!" So here I am dispatchin’ cops An’ watchin’ felons sleep, In Junction, at the county jail, A job I’ll prob’ly keep. The wife, she works at Leisure Lodge, Where older people stay, A-makin’ beds an’ moppin’ floors To earn some ‘extra’ pay. Though “extra pay‘s” the term I used, It goes to payin’ rent, An’ after all the bills are paid, We wonder where it went. We hocked my saddle, guns an' chaps, An' then our weddin' rings; Then when we couldn't pay the loan, They sold the 'dad-blamed' things. We felt real bad a day or two But then we let it go, Cause it got Christmas for the kids When money got real slow. When hard times come they sit a spell, Don't matter who you are; They'll cost ya things you've set aside, An' clean your cookie jar. You'll loose some sleep an' worry some, Won't pay to moan an' groan; But hang on to your happiness, They'll finally leave ya 'lone.

Details | I do not know? | |

Writtings From The Bathroom Wall

I read it  from the bathroom wall.
God alone save's us one and all.
Along with other mixed obscenities like 
for a good time call.

Some read rise against.
Others read Elivis was here.
God bless America communist take fear.

Its the lost and found of  misspelled words 
were the misfits gather do they all.
Im stuck here in a inconvertible position reading writtings from 
bathroom wall.

I strain to read Robert and Beth forever.
whomever they are.
I question does this bathroom last through stormy weather.

I wonder what kind of philosopher finds solice in such a dingy 
Do they comb the wall just lookin for space.

Theres traces of blood from a drunken brawl.
Im sitting in the true melting pot of the world.
Reading writtings from  the bathroom wall.  

Details | Rhyme | |

When Sheep Collide

'Tis strange where we should get the notion
That poetry expressed in motion
Should within the human form reside.
When nature gives us many chances
Unpractised and ephemeral dances
Like in a muddy field when sheep collide

Truth is, that nature's not so humble
And doesn't mind the dancer's stumble
There's nothing that it ever seeks to hide
Uncaring it leaves all revealed
And is not shamed if one small field
Has crazy sheep and one long muddy slide

They're mad, they're bad, they're having fun
Those naughty sheep and every one
Is doing what convention has denied
The hillside's muddy, wet and slick
With crazy sheepies sliding quick
Down to the bottom, down where sheep collide.

Many count good nature's fare
The birdsong and the country air
Among the wonders of the countryside
But strange delight can yet be found
In woolly bodies sliding round
A simple muddy field where sheep collide.

While nature guides celestial spheres
In cosmic dances, it appears,
With majesty the earthborn are denied
Down far beneath in mud and grass
A sheep slides on its woolly a***:
A sense of fun, though not a sense of pride.

Details | Limerick | |

December 21, 2012

The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend

Details | Light Poetry | |


This's the world of dreams  and 
Where I think ev'ry that reels,
After a thousands times,
would as same beliefs things 
besought me,
Is it a mere dream? 

Details | Rhyme | |

Call Me Insensitive

You call me insensitive,
But I don't believe that's true;
Because, you see,
It's all about me.
It's not about you.

You say your opinion doesn’t matter,
That I’ve no respect for your point of view;
But I do if we agree,
Because it’s all about me.
It’s not about you.

You say I’ve no compassion,
No feelings for your troubles or your blues;
But none of us is issue free,
And mine are all about me;
But…not about you.

A time old adage, 
“To thine own self be true.”,
Is all about choices you see.
My choices are all about me,
And, certainly, not about you.

So, when free or forced to make your choices
You’ll understand and know it’s true 
To decide what will or will not be,
Won’t be at all about me;
It will be all about you

But special moments confront each of us,
When what matters isn’t “Me”.
And while these moments are few,
They’re not about me, not about you.
For a time, it’s all about “We.”

Yes, “…no man is an island.”
Is a valid point of view;
But if it’s not about “We”, 
Then it’s all about me.
Sorry.  It’s not about you.

Details | Free verse | |

The Toilet Dream Speaks The Truth

I had a dream
Where all my clothes
Were in my toilet bowl
Clogging it.

Apparently this means that
I am drenched in emotions
Which need to be released
And expressed,

So I wrote
This poem.

Details | Haiku | |

It is now

Ain't a word, you said.
but it takes a daring gust 
for things start to be.

Details | Rhyme | |

Where Has Dad Gone, Mama Dear

Where has dad gone, momma dear?
Hush, my little lamb.
Your dad's gone to the thicket dear 
And mad old Abraham

That man went early this grim morn, and took his sharpened knife
And with him took his own first born, to offer up his life
With servants and with firewood, both, they journeyed to Moriah
And on the hillside there they built an altar and a fire

And Isaac, when he heard the plan, went willingly, it's odd
That he should let that daft old man, so worship his cruel god.
Your father, he was passing by, and heard but could not see
And foolishly could not deny his curiosity

So closer did your father scramble peering through the thorns
Unaware of how the brambles tangled with his horns
Just to see a crazy man who planned to kill his kin
Your father did not understand the danger he was in

For then again that mad old man started hearing voices
His god was speaking to the loon and giving him new choices
And so his plan to slay the boy came about to falter
And Abraham, he took your pa and dragged him to the altar

But that was never fair, mama, can you tell me why
When Isaac he was all prepared and well prepared to die
And all had been decided on, so what cruel trick mama
Was played upon that grand old ram, who was my own papa?

Life is not fair, my little lamb, nor is it like to change
And fate plays tricks on all of us, both sinister and strange
So you take care, my little lamb, with this advice from me 
Do not visit places where you know you should not be

The moral of this story dear, is take heed of the odds
And stay away from two-leggies worshipping their gods

Details | Rhyme | |

Shameful Morning

not sure how she got here 
only know she needs to leave

underneath the stranger 
my arm numb; asleep, 
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry 

princess of night 
exposed by light. 
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess. 

bed broken
along with my will. 
I swore never again; 
the lie is half the thrill.


Details | Blank verse | |

Love Song

Here’s what I’m thinking now 
at the end of the world: 

There are no atheists in foxholes— 
no theists in politics. 
If knowledge is power, 
and power corrupts, 
then why did I bother reading you, Cicero? 

Does it matter that I didn't’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

There’s a poetry reading tonight 
whence I’I'll chide other poets 
who don’t sit alone. 
I won’t bring up death 
but I might have to breathe, 
even into a mike 
and mouth lines to get a snap or a boo 
maybe even a wince or two. 

Just maybe I’I'll talk about love 
and how following your heart is like following a dog— 
it only leads to vittles and (female dogs). 
But how many times have I used that line 
since the story I wrote about you, 
a witty and sexy and fictional you? 
Most likely I’I'll read something tonight about you. 

I won’t recite it from memory 
because I don’t think about you that much anymore, 
not even when I search for my socks in your drawer 
or when I put on the scratchy sweaters you give me, 
horizontally striped to bring out my eyes? 

I don’t remember your eyes 
except they are blue. 
And I don’t remember you, 
not even when I smell cucumber and apple, 
not even when I sleep on my side of the bed 
or when you walk through the door 
happy to see me; 
even then I don’t remember you. 
Does it matter that I don’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

How about a few one-liners 
for the end of days?— 

Depression is self-awareness, 
which you’d know if you were; 
I need Ritalin to listen to you, 
Lithium to hug you, 
Viagra to feel you, 
and Valium to sleep. 

All you need 
is me standing there, waiting at home 
with turns of phrase and word plays 
telling you about why I hate Ayn Rand 
but want to buy as much as I can 
and how I love celebrity gossip 
and detest poetry slams 
and find rhyming trite 
except when I am. 

Hypocrites can still be right, 
which you do understand 
because you nod at my nonsense 
about fighting the man. 

But now, at the end of all things— 
I’m speechless and witless and pointlessly well-read, 
and you’re just sitting there, smiling 
asking me to pass the bread.

Details | Light Poetry | |

' Boot-Legged Mama '

Mama and Daddy was always Love-Dovey
She is His Sweetheart – He is Her Honey
First Love… Real Love  -  Forever True
Pa… I Pray to find A Man Like You…

Daddy Laughed and Put His Arm Round My Shoulder
And Said, “I’ll Tell You Somethin’, Now You’re Older
It’s got to do with Your Mother’s Fame
And Why I gave Her, The Nickname…

               … Boot-Legged Mama

                  Boot-Legged Mama
Blue-jean Shorts and Vintage Tony Lama
Walked thru the Door… of A Liquor Store
… Packaged so Pretty… Pa Just had to Pour

               … Boot-Legged Mama

Ma… Was there, to get 6-packs for A Party…
Pa… Was there, ‘cause of a Taste for Bacardi
He took One Look and Knew He Couldn’t Waste Her
Pa… Gave-up ‘Drank’… Just so He Could Chase her !

Dad, Said, ‘He’d Drowned in Dark-Eyes and Sweet-Aroma
Fine-Wine, Crystal… But Tuff’ Nuff’ to Down-Drama
Pa Claims, Mama’s Labeled by the F.D.A.
And Listed on Her Driver’s License is,  A.K.A.  …

               … Boot-Legged Mama

                  Boot-Legged Mama
 Genuine Woman, Who Made Him Wanna’
Take Her to be His Lawful Moonshine
… Married at Midnight – ‘cross The County-Line

               … Boot-Legged Mama

Alcohol’s in Trauma;  and Prohibition Told Her:
"Boot-Legged Mama… Done Drove Pa Sober !"
Now, Homemade-Hooch… is His Acquired Taste
180 Proof… Kicked All Over His Case !

Right Then, Mama Flowed into The Room
Pa, Teased and Said, “Still Full-Bodied and Perfumed !
Ma Hugged Us, then Handed Me – Old Boots and A Dress…
    (and good advice)… “Go Git’ My Elliot Ness…

               … and be a Boot-Legged Mama!

( Hey !... Did I Hear Somebody, In A Country Drawl ….
          Order Up A Bottle of Kicking Alcohol !
         Well, Here She Is… Y'all ! ...
                  Boot-Legged Mama ….

Well John (Moses) Freeman... You Said You Needed
Somethin' :)  to Read tonight, before kicking up your
heels...  Well, Here It Is (Have Fun - Son)


 (Thank You For All Your Wonderful Comments
Now, I Can't Get Thru The Door for My Ego.. (Smile)

Details | Senryu | |

Your Umbrella

If you let a smile
Be your only umbrella
Expect a wet butt

Details | I do not know? | |

' Friend To Friend ... '

               A Friend:
One, Who Helps You Get Out Of A Jam

               A Partner:
… Is Usually In The  Jam With You

                   A Pal:
Is The One, Who Usually Gets You In The Jam

           An Acquaintance:
Someone, Who Heard About The Jam

                 A Buddy:
Says … Its Your Own Jam Fault …

Details | Burlesque | |

Sweatin' The Small Stuff

Don't sweat the small stuff, they say...
I see it, a different way....
Small problems easily become big,
Make you pull your hair out,
So you gotta' wear a wig!

Details | Bio | |


I get a kick outta the writes I see,
So intellectual, how can that be?
I skipped two grades,
Was forced to take IQ tests again,
Cause no one as dumb as me,
Could possibly produce such a score, you see
Got 100% on regents exams,
Passed college entrance tests
Half drunk and dirty of dress
Cause I was up with friends
drinkin' and carousing like the rest,
And, Lord knows how, but I assure,
I aced the test, and even more,
To what was then considered
"The Poor-Man's Harvard"
I cruised through that as well,
No one was gona stop this Bell

But IQ tests, and scholastic grade,
Never has one, of a man be made
I still do get confused,
About how to wear two shoes,
My brain may be book-smart,
But comin' from the heart,
I've trusted when I really shouldn't
Was skeptical when imprudent

So here's this IQ wiz,
Don't know just who he is,
And street smart as a cat,
Caught in Dr. Zeuss's hat.

So teach your children well,
don't grow up to be like Tom Bell

Details | I do not know? | |

A Son, a Father and a Donkey (2005)

A young son, a father and a donkey journey across the land
The father rides upon the donkey
They walk through rain, sunshine and hot sand
A villager yells from the top of her voice
“Selfish boy, let your poor father ride, get up and stride”
So he did as he felt he had no choice
Hours past and they went to a stall for a refreshing drink
“That poor donkey carrying your weight, you should get off him don’t you think?”
Everyone in the bazaar looked and shook their head
The father got off and they both walked instead
They struggled along the sandy dusty breeze
They heard laughter coming from behind the trees
 “Fools”!It was a group of schools girls laughing as they talk
“They have a blooming donkey and those idiots still walk!”
More children gathered to join in the fun 
They paused and thought what should be done? 
By the time they thought of the solution everyone had gone
The moral of the story is you can’t please everyone

Details | Rhyme | |

Naughty Sex Talk

Naughty Sex talk

Women will whisper
Pretend they don’t care
Chat about perfume
Or talk about hair
Why is it secret
Hush, hush don’t say
When every ten seconds
In every man’s brain
Frank daydreams of sex
Women insane

Details | Verse | |

Ding Dong The Wicked Witch is Dead

Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Thatcher’s dead.

Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Thatcher’s dead.

Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Thatcher’s dead.

Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
Thatcher’s dead.

Details | Light Poetry | |

I'm Thristy

Clouds burst
   Crops thirst

Details | Villanelle | |

Broken lines

Broken lines

Across plain surfaces your fruit opines!   A1
Describes your artistry and sightly write   b
the art of poetry: The broken lines!   A2

Unleash your fantasy on page-designs   a
(arrhythmic doggerel attacks that bite),   b
across plain surfaces your fruit opines!   A1

Miraculous your literature aligns   a
ambitious text in rounded form but trite,   b
the art of poetry: The broken lines!   A2

The heavens open and the void enshrines   a
the structured verse, while cumulus contrite,   b
across plain surfaces your fruit opines!   A1

The fancy fonts' array, rotund, entwines   a
while fresh cerebral onion rings recite   b
the art of poetry: The broken lines!   A2

The fruity shaped artistic form resigns,   a
your freedom of poetic thought and sprite   b
across plain surfaces your fruit opines   A1
the art of poetry: The broken lines!   A2

© 01-02-2014, G. Venetopoulos

(Iambic Pentameter Villanelle)
( A1 b A2 / a b A1 / a b A2 / a b A1 / a b A2 / a b A1 A2. )
You may download these nice PDF pages and read about Poetic Devices, Meter and Rhythm, Prose and Differences between Poetry and Prose!!
Poetic Devices:
Poetic Devices:
Differences between Poetry and Prose
Prose Basics:

( The art of poetry (free or structured verse) is not the discontinuation 
(braking) of lines that offer to the text a pretty layout, the used fonts,
the geometrical shapes of the text body (circles, rectangles, fruits,
triangles etc) and its alignment on the page ).  
The art of real poetry (free or structured verse), is the intellectual and poetic qualities, devices and rules the poet eloquently merges in his creations. )

Details | Free verse | |

- Is It Fair -

           I have heard: Women burn fat almost 10% slower than men
           It's does not feel justified
           I have heard: Women live on average 3 years longer than men
           Women have a better durability date (used before: .. - ... - .....)
           Men: (must be used within: .. - .. - ....)
           Why is it only women who are thinking about calories and diets
           I bake delicious cakes .... that can only be eaten by my husband
           ..... I think I'll try one more piece :)

A-L  Andresen :)

Details | List | |

Rules in the eyes of a toddler

If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed, stepped on or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, must make her dirty
If it is sibling, must slap,kick,and fight.
If it has four legs, must squeeze tight until makes noise
If big person is on phone, must make lots of noise
If tv is not on cartoons, scream until they are
If food is not good, throw it, refuse to eat it and cry until big people give you something good

Details | Senryu | |

Quit Running

mom say's
quit running !!!!

Details | Rhyme | |

4:20, Four- Twenty, The Earth Day Birthday

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

Details | Free verse | |

The Egg Eaters Hallow


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Details | Free verse | |

Poetic Robbery

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman

Details | Verse | |

Leeroy von Nebulae

Leeroy von Nebulae and Pitter Patter Supernova

Upon the sparkling April field, where the bell-flowers blossome'd,
two poets stood amid the blooms, two writers of their wisdom,
where singing aves exalted them, cause deep in verse have fathome'd
and treated poetry like none, with loyalty and serfdom.

Meantime the birds were chirping in the leafage of the forest
the two composers synthesize'd the crop of thoughts that random
became their poetry's free verse, philosophy, thus, modest,
the scriptures called bankrupted talk and artlessness of flotsam.

The authors, thus, amid the trees, and vervains' purple colors,
narrated 'bout the pepper steaks and pizzas pepperoni,
the grayish donkeys and their bray, through softened words of candor,
conducting hence this spectacle and joyous ceremony.

What was occurring round the two was godly sent, on purpose;
the softened breeze, the sunny morn, the singing of the birdies,
and furthermore their kindest verse that both believed was flawless,
- the soul's redemption stands upon the praising by the toadies.

Obtusely raising, slow but firm, their tilted thoughts euphoric
have driven both to fly above this natural assemblage,
hence joyfully enjoine'd the cause of logic anti-strophic,
amid the clouds envisioning a pizza-Heaven-cottage.

Leeroy von Nebulae and Pitter Patter Supernova
expressed their malarky of verse, that donkeys then recited
and stood impassive 'mid the blooms, their thoughts a dull cadenza,
evaluated by the birds, that chirped their notes, astounded.

© 03-23-2014, G. Venetopoulos, All Rights Reserved
(Iambic decapentasyllabic verse)

Details | Ballad | |

Pan and Satan

Pan and Satan.

One morning I was walking in my garden
When old Jupiter came up close to me.
And standing by his side stood fair Demeter
Who smiled at me so warm and tenderly.
She said “my son we’ve come to give our blessings
And we’ve a story we would like to tell.
Of how the great God Pan turned into Satan
And child I hope that you will listen well.

For Pan he was the god of natures beauty
And he wore no taint till Satan came along.
He’d play his pipes so gaily in the meadows
Though sometimes there was mischief in his song.

Then Satan said to pan “well I don’t give a damn
I’m going to steal your horns and make you me.
Then I’ll build a master plan and strike some fear in man
So always he will live in misery.
And that’s the way old Pan became young Satan
Yet still the old one dances deep within.
But if the two had never joined together
Then where would dwell the ugliness of sin.


Details | Limerick | |

Cosmology vs Cosmetology

Dark matter makes scientists sweat
Their telescopes can't find it...yet
What's lost could be found
If they’d just turn around
And gaze at a sexy brunette

Details | Limerick | |

A day in the near future

What dark force wears the devil’s mark (666) 
And bites those thrown off “Noah’s Ark”?
Dragging sweets through the mud
While chomping for blood...
A bully is like a white shark*

*Only white sharks have better table manners, and so in the tradition of Emily Post—the innocent eventually rise up and seek justice—and use knives (and forks and spoons)! 

This poem was inspired by Laura Breidenthal's recent poem entitled "666".

Details | Epigram | |

Walking on Eggshells

The egg came before the chicken but some fool sat on it...

Details | Haiku | |

Just Do It

<                                   silent explosion 
                             between puckered weary legs ...
                                     spandex dialogue

 Entry For Poet Destroyer's
Pooping Contest {Don't Ask To Go To The Bathroom}

Details | Limerick | |

February Funny Bone

                                 Once came along a groundhog named Phil
                                 Looked for shadow in winters chill
                                         Even top hat and coat
                                         Didn't stop whining's gloat
                                Stuck six more weeks paying heating bill                                 

Written by 
Katherine Stella 2/4/12
Entry For
Linda Marie's
February Funny Bone Contest

Details | Limerick | |

Lemmings never pay the phone company

"Tree huggers” use AT&T
The human cost catastrophe
On the horizon
Like text from Verizon
Is sent with the speed of 4G
Pollution's still booked at no 
And Earth’s expenses neatly tossed
Off the balance sheet
With a "Sprint" so complete
The effects on nature seem lost 

Yes EPA rules do offend
Those who crave Earth’s wealth without end
They claim to hate debt
But have seen nothing yet
Like phone bills "T-Mobile" might send! 

Author's note:  It seems ironic and strange that debt haters (like tea party supporters, for 
example) and those who are pushing more reliance on fossil fuel and less "subsidy" for 
renewables (Romney/Ryan for example) support the continuation of policies and 
practices that will damage the environment and that will hurt future generations.  They are 
pushing growth and not pushing conservation.  I would have more respect for them if 
they talked about the costs as well as the benefits of their plans.  I wonder if it might just 
be a scam to reward large corporations for the short term and stick it to the rest of us for 
generations.  That would be nothing new.

Details | Haiku | |

If I - Tryodine

If I      (Tryodine) form of poetry by Yancy Dalton

If I were a fly I could fly
If I were a bee I could be
If I were a person I would be me

Diana Dalton
10 Aug 2012

Details | Free verse | |

Duck Side Story

You have your North side ducks, 
And you have your south side ducks.
Neither the twain shall meet.
For each one had his nose in the air. 
They simply would not do the greet.

So as it happens they would dance with flair in the middle of the pond.
Always trying to out do the other side…Yes, let’s call it ‘Stomp The Pond’
Wings in motion lifting them up, to stomp the waters with their feet
Acrobatics and splashing around… Man it looked so neat.

So Stella, one of the South Side Ducks fell in love with her North side Pete.
But she couldn’t cross the middle of the pond, with so much action in the way.
Fussing, blustering, and carryings on were the name of the day.

But you know, there’s always one strange duck, and that’s the one who built a bridge.
Now all the others could come across or watch the stomp from the middle of the id.
My moral, I say to you young ones… is as appealing as stomping can be…
The world works better when brought together… 
By the builders of a bridge.

Details | Haiku | |


Talking head replay
On all night and on all day
What does the Fox say

Chickens be alarmed
The news alert declares doom
Coop is in danger

O'Reily goes woof
Hannity goes bananas
Megyn goes meow

What does the Fox say
Whatever Roger Ailes decides
Many voices one truth

*For fun, a different play on "Fox"

Contest: What Does the Fox Say 
Sponsored by: Skat-A
Form: Haiku
Favorite Sound: Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!

Details | Limerick | |

Thanksgiving in the mirror

With "plenty" this culture's endowed 
Bad outcomes are never allowed!
But nature's stealthy
And notes for the wealthy
Silver linings come with a cloud

Details | Prose Poetry | |

CHANGED MY Underwear,------- and My Name

change my name 
fairly often, I suppose

change my clothes 
area codes
and Imma' damn gypsy, ya' see

keep it fresh ta' death
speck of blood
ketchup on my attire

got more rhymes 
than I got grey hairs
that's an effing lot
because i got my share

digg a 
hot-fire piece of passionate verse
those are 
rare to find

if  only poets would 
unleash the fury 
instead of 
holding back
what's really 
on their mind...

I must say...
the library, 
the internet, 
the etc. etc...
would be a less stinky place...
AND, maybe 
I'd keep my name, and sever ties with 
underwear's elastic,
and just go 
APE-Spit Spastic!~

Details | Ballade | |

The archer of laughter Sagittarius

The Archer of laughter

He needs to know; not trivia
But all those deeper things
Needs a higher education
He wants his life to bring
All the answers big and vast
He wants to travel too
Cause he has heaps of energy
He loves to do things new.

He cannot handle boredom
He must be on the go
If not in the physical
Then he will have to know
Everything about anything
He’s a philosopher, this too
He loves to have his high ideals
And he’ll always say what’s true.

But most of all he loves to laugh
To him life be a game
He doesn’t do traditional
And he don’t like things the same
He can be over bearing
But you’ll like him anyway
Though he will really pee you off
When he has too much to say.

1 August 2013 @ 0727hrs.

Details | Limerick | |

like it or not--it's here to stay

Inventive minds can be inspired  
Great ideas in time may be sired
High fashion and style
Are acquired for a while
But in the brain sex is hard wired

Details | Free verse | |

The party line

One long ring; that is for me
One long and one short, Mrs. McGee

Two long rings for the farmer Scholl
As the phone would ring a distinctive toll

Down the road on a line of eight
As the bell would ring we all would wait

One would answer; three would listen in
That is the way it was on a party line back then

Details | Free verse | |


Now when I was a young man 
I didn’t need pills everything worked
I wasn’t a fan 

But now that I'm old 
I need pills everyday 
One to lower my blood pressure 
Another to keep the cholesterol away 

Now I have a new one 
To keep my mind straight 
And because of this 
I can’t ejaculate 

It’s good for an old man to stay hard for so long 
But even for that 
I need a pill for that schlong

I wonder whats next in the pill world for me 
Maybe a pill 
So I can pee 

They gave me holder to keep my pills all arranged 
But keeping them straight 
Is making me deranged 

I need a pill to tell me what pill and when 
Because for the life of me 
I forget now and then 

I can’t tell the difference between the colors of each  
If I take the wrong one 
I have a hard on and no speech 

Now all these little pills 
Cost a pile of bills 
Which causes me 
Lots of stress and ill 

No more pills thank you 
I’ve had my fill 

Eric (and always will be)  

Details | Free verse | |

Ship Ahoy Divorce Style

<                                              Haiku

                                          sea's tranquility
                                   bestows harmonic balance
                                      amidst  tides rising


                          aye ye matey walking its own plank
                          let not ye other take thee to bank
                                raise thy anchors set sail
                              give heeve hoe to those failed
                         find ye other sailor's who's yet sank  


                    shivery timbers captain bow is about to break
                    toss overboard it's ye baggage holding thee dam weight 

Entry For
{Destroyer { Poet's
Divorce Club
Haiku /Limerick/Couplet Contest
G.L. All

Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”

Details | Free verse | |

Roll Call

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

Details | Limerick | |

The Standard of the High Life

The lifestyle I have I would keep
My expenses however are steep
So me you will serve
You're the help I deserve
Without any tip cause I'm cheap

Details | Didactic | |

That Word


That word
What does it mean?
Is it to glean?
Cause a ravine or seam
To tritely inflict 
The mean-
Of a theme

It seems 
That such a thing
Is small
Has little
To bring
Yes, much less

Nothing to suggest
To cause 
Keep abreast
In it's
What words 
Can’t bring
To mind’s crest
And thus
Vagueness of wit

…at best.

Details | Limerick | |

Jack's Pact

Jack's Pact

There once was a pirate named Jack,
Who struck with the devil a pact.
But when his accord
He could not afford
The devil took Jack and his pack!

The moral of Jack and his pack
Is clear: Give the devil No pact!
If you can't afford 
To strike an accord
Hold fast what you have--not your lack!

deborah burch©

Details | Limerick | |

Quit Your Growling

<          once there was old woman on the prowl
            found younger man and begun to howl
            under silvery moon
            fead him with baby spoon
            now stomach does goo goo gah gah grawls

Written By Katherine Stella

Entry For Dr. Ram's Cougar Effect Contest 
G.L. All                                                                

Details | Carpe Diem | |


If its money I got its money ill keep. If its money I have its money ill weep. If its love that I give its love ill receive. For I am but no one who just see's beneath. Some say your only as strong as you feel, but how could we a place that's so unreal. People are hearing but..not really hearing. Why is the world so blind. I keep on screaming and screaming and screaming for things to be revolutionized. I am just a small song in a world full of cries, laughter, tears and french-fries.

Details | Free verse | |


with each moment we 
start a New Year
best to leave the old behind

Details | Limerick | |

Sons Of An Zeus Man

<                           once came along pair gemini twins
                             castro and pollux from third sign in
                             well sons of an zeus man
                             all from mercury clan
                             sharing wealth of intelligence sin

                            with ever compatible libra scales
                            along with aquarius that wales
                            fire signs given few
                            pisces they known too
                            beneath sun and moon's with semi's tale

Written By Katherine Stella  6/26/11

Entry For Nette Onclaud's
Zodiac Zones Contest
G.L. All

Details | Verse | |

Single Kisses

Focused on you, a wild demons stare
 With a motion it happens
 A emotion flattens
 As you fall beneath a demons glare
He notices most things that happen
 Might even pick the clothes you wear
 Believe it or not he really does care
 Knows whats best and helps me get there
To perfection the performance blacken when he's scared
 Things fall apart if he's not helping me be prepaired
 Guidence and experience for me his mare
 Sometimes I wonder what it would be like without a demon here
He loves positive reactions with greatness and flair
 And how people love me after he dares
 Carefully he holds me through a very small tear
 Me I guess I am getting used to, just hangin round rare 

Details | Tail-rhyme | |

The Complainer

They wake up emotionless every morning, guess who,
You don't speak to them until spoken to,
Your right, The Complainer Boo.

Their always right even when wrong, guess who,
that one across the table criticizing you,
your right ,The Complainer Boo.

Nothing pleases them at least for long, guess who,
boredom sets in and the world is wrong,
your right, The Complainer Boo.

Don't think you can change them it will never work,
Just consider your life has a little Quirk....

Details | Rhyme | |


I wake for start of new day to find all nature stirring.
The bumble bee and humming bird around the feeder whirring.
The russet breasted robin has caught the early worm.
He'll feed it to his lady love before the final squirm.

Across the way the flower field is filled with willing workers.
Spring in my valley scurries on, it is no place for shirkers.
Not long ago I too was part of frantic interaction.
I watch with cup of coffee and a sigh of satisfaction.

I've served my time, no need to rise to annoying alarm.
Without me spring will carry on, I've rented out the farm.
The days whern I met life head-on is part of history.
In my newly welcomed leisure I let life come to me.

Details | Sonnet | |

Kiss This

<                              master of disguise menacing havoc
                                I fear not your pronged fork and wooden stick
                                but one illuminates from presents sight
                                tis I carries master key whom ends plight

                               brushstroke if must with your evilness twist
                               for I stand strong from an Hevenly bliss 
                               poke and probe away with your woven schemes
                               tis I'll be the one laughing though it seems 

                               your inferno fire from gates of hell
                               diminished by just one shake from this bell
                               so bring on your barriers and good grief's
                               tonight I'll be the one with good night's sleep 

                               sowing not fear of satin's smitten grasp
                               but turning check telling to kiss thy ass

Entry For
Thvia Shetley's
The Devil Made Me Do It
Sonnets Only Contest
G.L. All

Details | Light Poetry | |

A poem about an apple that is sure to disappoint the reader

I see an apple.
There it is.

Details | Rhyme | |

I Just Can't Win

I Just Can’t Win
I pay taxes all year long and still the IRS grins
Knowing any profits I make will go to them
Spending money on the lottery- a one in a million shot
Buying a hundred dollars in magazines but Publisher’s Clearing House never knocks
Slaving all day at mopping the floors and vacuuming the rugs
Then having four little ones drop their ice-cream with fudge
How about buying a new car-being so proud and delighted
Then driving off the lot having its value deflated
Having season tickets to the Chicago Cubs
Never to win a World Series and this really bugs
Being sick and going to the doctor is right
But when you have no insurance, the bill is out of sight
But the worst of all is entering this poetry contest
When knowing I just can’t win even though I do my best

Details | Free verse | |

The Crap of Life

Each crap life takes
Fertilizes the world
Ah! Smell the spring air

Details | Limerick | |

Trader Joe

<                           once there was a man named trader Joe
                             could do nothing with hair so let grow
                             under big coonskin hat
                             fleas tick and his pet rat
                             mercantile's just say Oh Hell No

                            once there was saloon name lucky spur
                            where traders brought in their hunted furs
                            in walks old trader Joe
                            miss Molly said let's go
                            now both itch scratch from leftover burrs

Details | Alliteration | |

Not for the finicky or fainthearted

My mind is experiencing a fastidious flatulence; slightly fiendish, and not for the
finicky or fainthearted. 
I fidget amidst it's fanatical far-fetched farce yet stand fearless, watching it's face
flounder in a foolhardy feeble-minded foible. 
With fervor I say farewell forever to it's festering, feverish fetish, as it's frantic
fiasco foams, flails and finally fails.

Details | Limerick | |

What Choice??

You insist that I only choose one
Finite human or god in the sun
Man has long pondered this
But as to my wish
I'll face death and have ALL the fun!!

Details | Couplet | |

It Could Have Been Spaghetti

It could have been spaghetti
that I passed out on the street.

As icky as it seems to me
down near my hairy feet.

A yellow curl that made me sick.
A half a morsel not too thick.

That lay there still just like a worm
and made my stomach start to churn.

It could have been spaghetti
that I passed out on the street.

In sauce that lasts forever
in a place it will secrete.


Details | Couplet | |

Game Of Cat And Mouse

Oh my goodness! Did you see that???
A mousie riding on the back of a cat

Guess these guys have kissed and made up
Heard mousey yell “Hey! Giddy-up!”

Great to see them getting on so well
Mousey's relieved, as you can tell

Wearing a big grin from ear to ear
Felix is enjoying it too, it appears

Remember this lesson from one time rivals
Don't need no conflicts for survival

It's a whole lot better to laugh and have fun
Than face extinction at the point of a gun

So what did you learn from this sweet wee tale?
Enjoy yourself and drink lots of ale

You'll see little mousies and cats at play
Instead of killings on TV each day!

© Jack Ellison 2012

Details | Free verse | |

Word of Wisdom

                                             A word of wisdom 
                       Is never smarter than the person who read it

31th.January 2012

Details | Limerick | |

Taxing Dilemma

Rich ones get richer from our wages.
Middle man paid with too many pages.
We continue on path.
Hiding outrageous wrath,
Revolved in political stages,

Taxes, taxes, what will be the due.
Deductions, exemptions for a few,
All my money they have kept.
Deducting tears I wept.
Tax man arrived claimed all of them too.

The poor keeps getting poorer each year.
They cannot wait for rebate, they cheer.
Sell off, early rebate.
Federal and the state,
Money now, money, for wine and beer,

Written for

Sponsor Carolyn Devonshire 
Contest Name Taxing Times 

Details | Couplet | |



Yesterday is the day from which you came
Tomorrow is  the destination you will never gain 
Seeking tomorrow thinking it is near
But at 12:01 AM is tomorrow really here
Time shows you just came from yesterday 
And stepped into times grasp of what is now today 
Once again you find tomorrow is not here
Just wait 24 hours - time whispers in your ear 
And then tomorrow will appear 
Time of course is playing its eternal joke
For again at time appointed - tomorrow is up in smoke
Time it should be known is an unawakened dream
With no more substance than ripples in a stream
Never ask time about future intentions
Future is another of time's jokester inventions

Details | Limerick | |

Just Wait Until I Get Home

<                        once popped cork on bottle of red wine
                          hit brother in eye oh how it did shine
                          seen him go pick up bat
                          boy did I ever scat
                          right to canadian's boarder line

                          feeling like her dansel in-distress
                          along came three county mounties best
                          asked if nipping bottle
                          at fast paces throttle
                          answered yes now did I pass your test

                           tossed in pokie for now twenty days
                           poor ole missy now won't and get laid
                           darn brother wins again
                           wearing smitten hugh grin
                           wait until that welt begins to fade  

Written 6/20/11

Entry For Francine Robert's
Bottle Of Wine
Limericks Only Contest
G.L. All

Details | Free verse | |

Reflections: Intellectualism

To Dine, To Die;
Conversations spiral
While thunderous eyes
Grasp concepts to recycle.

Constant debt crisis
A political paradox
Grating social devices
Over the sorting of socks.

An endless groan
Argumental paralysis
The debate grants no throne.

Over a roast
Potatoes won't listen
To who talks the most.

"That point is so interesting"
The floor is open for chat
"What is real?" not a thing
"Meow" adds the cat.

Details | Free verse | |

The Switch Up

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Free verse | |

Palindrome Quirks

Palindrome Quirks

Gateman, has thou seen my nametag
Tips he replied or else upon thy boot I shall spit
Evil doer! Can I not but endure this shame to live

Was it thy dog upon yonder grass I saw?
Rats! Rover has been seen by the clear night’s star
God! Why did I ever get a dog?
Swap thy canine for a bird with no paws

Reviled unto myself I must now deliver
Repaid in full by this dirty diaper
Lived, thou has not until thou hast smelled the devil

Pots with gangly growth have but stop
Spot has urinated upon its tops
Smart would it be for it to leave upon the trams
Warts his master has from the pissed on straw

Adaven, now a ghost town located in Nevada
Stressed were the miners when Millie severed no desserts

By Mark A. Goodson

Semordnilap Palindrome’s:




Stressed/ desserts

Details | Couplet | |

Life is an Aventurous Squirrel Run

I have my Hubby’s steadfast belief in me.
He loves how my poems are light and airy.
He’ll give me an idea once in a while…
Then he escapes to come back, later to read my new child.

He calls these run-throughs a squirrel run.
For they can take off in directions, yes, any one.
Crazy thoughts become crazier still…
And story time leads to god knows, where they will.

My thinking is kind of like chasing around a tree.
You never know where the end will be.
But somewhere I eventually become truly still.
And that is where my Hubby adds into the trill.

Then the squirrel run begins again…
Light and fluffy and full to the brim.
Each day a new adventure... waits around the bend.
Live it. Love it. Write it... You'll be happier in the end.

Contest: Emotion: Squirrelly and fun   CSEastman

Details | Haiku | |

Short Stuff

You can short yourself
You can keep shorting yourself!
You can make it short...

Details | Epigram | |

Dirk Nowitzki

Impossible to stifle
the firing of a 7 foot
German Rifle

the Heat couldn't stop Dirk
from putting
in work

Congratulations to the 2011 NBA Champions
             Dallas Mavericks

Details | Romanticism | |

Reflections in the Firelight

The wood is piled
my emotions riled
Sweet expectations
settle in my soul

Sweat dappled brows
my emotions drowse
sudden conclusions
fill in the hole

of my heart.

The fire started in the pit
warming ourselves 
in it's globe
and there we sit
like two lost elves
waiting to disrobe

Take your time,
The perfect man
does exist.

rlm '09

Details | Limerick | |

Banana Surprise

Banana went to culinary college
Yellow, firm, wanted so much knowledge,
Standing up in last class,
Ending up in large mass,
Now was the time for all to acknowledge.

Written for

Sponsor Deborah Guzzi 
Contest Name The once was a man from Dunkirk.. 

Details | Free verse | |

Flying a white flag

the best protocol 
for flying a white flag 
is to hang it
on a stiff erect stick

Details | Ode | |

That Crazy Old Doctor

There've been times in my life
 where I've just had to say,
 "I must, give it all up,
 for, it's that kind of day"!
I must, really say this
 I really, just must;
 if I didn't say it,
 then, it wouldn't be, "just".
There's this crazy, old man
 we'll just call him, "Doc";
 who fills up blank pages
 with, "poetical talk".
He's scribbled, and scrabbled
 'til way, past bed-time,
 trying to finish each poem
 and, complete every rhyme.
If he hadn't done this
 he'd surely gone, "mad",
 his nonsensical nature
 was, all that he had!
No hidden agenda
 when first, he wrote down,
 each poem of nonsense
 to erase a childs' frown.
And, Doc always did this
 manipulate, "clues"... that , all of his poems
 were merely geared, to amuse.
He loved to let nonsense
 be the order of the day,
 and, with every poem
 we all smiled, the same way.
His only intention
 was to set our minds, "free",
 his style, just did it
 so, poetically.
With his own tongue, in cheek
we knew we'd been had,
and his poems rhymed perfectly
proving he was no, "fad"!

The volumes of topics
 that Doc's written of,
 included all that could be
 written.....below, and above.
He's written of magic,
 puzzles, and games...
 ..with, strange little creatures,
 with, strange little, "names".
The, crazier his story,
 the saner he'd feel,
 and, the more that we heard
 convinced us they were, "real"!
His poems, were genius
 as he weaved us, a tale;
 with, nonsensical rhymes
 that did so, without..."fail".
"Old Doc", has quit writing
 he's up in heaven,
 this year, his birthday'd ...
 make him, a hundred, and seven!
He's given advice,
 taught what we must do,
 he said, "Be who you are...'s youer,!"
He's maybe still writing
 in, see,
 that'd be just like him
 as, that's who he must, be!
That, silly old doctor... silly, as a goose;
 we all loved his poems,
 for, we loved Dr. Seuss!

Details | Couplet | |

Out Cast

<                                Mirror mirror on the wall
                                  This isn't my face quite at all

                                  A ribbon in hair
                                  This seems so unfair

                                  Painted eyes
                                  Painted lips this I cry
                                 Dress of  lace
                                 I feel so out of place

                                 So I  cast this spell back to you
                                 Tee shirts and jeans will just have to do

                                 For now I tend to be running a little late
                                 From  mirror casting own spell which I hate

Entry For 
Matt Caliri's Mirror Contest
G.L. All

Details | Burlesque | |

Late Mr.X's Life.

Crawled on thorns of life,
Then learnt to walk.

Starved for days,
Then learnt to earn bread.

Suffered from loneliness,
Then made friends and married.

Worked hard to keep
His family at ease.

Had wife to love
And children to respect.

Had friends to support
And neighbours to praise.

When he felt, all got right,
His final call came that night.

Details | Blank verse | |



Create a universe with space,
and stars and suns, then planets.
Add some life and watch it grow;
almost nothing to almost something.

Implant a need to change, evolve,
until finally one arrives at sentience.
We now have human, which thinks,
therefore it is, but often chooses not to.

Our very human need brings order into,
and from surrounding chaos,
or so we imagine. Hence years, seconds
and so forth will codify time.

This time is *very *important;
brought in to rule over us all,
while some changes of time
are turned into veritable deities.

One grand god is to be worshipped
when he grants us his New Year,
for joy and wild celebration,
and sundry bacchanalian pursuits.

But, dammit, an invented construct
starts whether we're awake to scream
or not, so this one thinking human
prefers pursuit of non-bacchanalian sheep,

and sleep ....

Alan McAlpine Douglas

Details | Narrative | |

The Poop of Life

THE POOP OF LIFE The poop word is a replacement For the other four letter word You know the one that means poop The one you have most likely heard There is a lot of poop in our life That is really like our body poop Both are really a necessity for living Let me give you the comparison scoop The type of food taken in your body Or what is fed into your life for you Will certainly determine precisely What type of poop you’re getting in to If you let the poop get all built up You tend to want to push and strain In hopes to hurry and force it out That can only cause cramps and pain Slow down and take a deep breath It really is always best to just relax The more you try to lighten up yourself The easier it will be for the poop to pass It’s time to worry if you have no poop Or if you just can’t get that poop out Keep it fresh and make room for more It feels great when it is all cleaned out A stall full of poop has the best worker As Proverbs 14:4 suggestively does say So a good worker does poop a lot Please don’t let it pile up for days No one wants to step in your poop Or even wants to see it for that matter We need to clean up our own poop Every little particle or a tiny splatter It is important to remember To always wipe twice It’s like double checking And it’s really the best advice If the same old poop is left Just every where lying around It only attracts the flies and scum Those pests from every part of town At times there may be a lot Of just stinky hot air Then sometimes you get The real poop coming there There are many different types Of shapes, sizes and textures With the daily poop we’re given The variety of life is measured I could probably go on and on Even you may think of more, I know So I’ll leave you with this one last note Try not to get caught in deep poop though Florence McMillian (Flo)

Details | Couplet | |


          LOST LOSER

Bad enough to hear ‘you lose’
Then a flock of mail flies in
Don’t know which one you should choose
Then you glimpse ‘an AWESOME win’

Maybe it’s my humble past
Maybe it’s my country school
No one smiles when they are last
If you do --you’re called a fool.

Glory is its own reward
If you win your heart beat sings
Friends will greet you if they can
Life is sweet on eagle wings

Time is precious, time is short
Worlds await on shelves in books
Brush twitch paintings-- feet seek sport
I crave salmon on a hook

Ungrateful twit that I may seem
Courtesy is sometimes missing
My head I'll dunk in ice clogged stream
Avoid the flock of kiss kiss kissing

If you note that I have lost
Spare me time and spare me shame
Spare yourself the time it costs
To remind me that I’ve lost again

Victoria Anderson-Throop
Nov 30, 2012

Details | Haiku | |

Your Going Down

<                           beneath waterfall
                        let your troubles wash away ... 
                             cesspool is waiting

Entry For John Freeman's
The Precept Natures Haiku
G.L. All

Details | Couplet | |



Was a time --not long ago
When you begged me sweet and low

“Cast your net upon the sea
Quickly,darling, marry me!”

My heart caught 
and in a minute
My life was soup
And I was in it

A fair eyed man means dangerous shores
& I'm adrift-- mid rocks galore

On a current, flashing fins
You cast your line--
And hook sweet sins

And, at work you cannot think
When fishy eyes blink out a wink

Even friends are not off limits
When tides wash in the vodka gimlets

Do I hate you, yes, I could
Do I hate you, no, I should

A straying man on marriage seas
Navigates adulteries

When asked to re-chart his course
He usually stomps and screams “divorce”


Mixing metaphors and such
Keeps the critics out of ruts


Straying husbands/shagging rabbits
Cannot/willnot change their habits.

Victoria Anderson-Throop
Oct 10, 2012

Details | Rhyme | |

Pressure is a treasure

                                             Pressure makes diamond , they say
                                                 Diamond can't break , no way
                                                    , So when things get bad
                                                      Be patient , don't be sad

Details | I do not know? | |

I Think You Are The Cheap And Not Me ......

Showing me the expensive bangle on her wrist
She asked, "Will you buy me something like this ? "
If you do, you can take me out again
What do you say ' Yes ' or ' No ' ?

Looking at the bangle I knew it cost a lot
To take her out for a hot date
One day a bangle, another day a necklace
Her needs will never end until my pocket is empty

I managed to get a fake smile on my face
I saw another fake smile on her crooked face
I knew money is the only reason for this date
Her eyes are not on my face but on the bulged wallet 

It won't last long and it's unhealthy
I told to myself without thinking twice
Somehow I happend to control myself
I just said, " You get nothing when you come with me ".

Her response was so quick,"You are so cheap "
I had a hysteric laugh inside me 
I said loud to her , "I think you are the cheap and not me" '
"You know why? You come for something and not for Love " 

I am not looking for that kind of date
It is easy to get and I don't need it 
She tried to change the topic, "I was just kidding you" 
I knew it is a lie and I put a full stop on that relationship.

Details | Free verse | |

Glitter World

Glitter World
I see the world as my pearl
My place to take a whirl
And twirl around like a sexy girl
A place where there is little turmoil
My world is place
Where all flags can
Freely unfurl
Where a boy’s hair can curl
Everything’s glitter in my little world.

Details | Quatrain | |

15 Minutes Of Quatrain Fame Oxymoron

no matter how many
media are used
just a few will know
what's unique about you.

Details | Haiku | |

Funny Haiku's from Captain Mike

I don't know what to think about Haiku's. Haiku!

it's kinda like a sneeze
haiku kinda sounds like hah chooo
so then ka-zunn-tite!

She's giving me a back rub Haiku!

I need to fart bad
if I do she won't rub me
jeeze I shat my self  

The Divine Plan of Nature Haiku!

just for the butt hole
turds are tapered on the ends
so it don't slam shut

The One and Only Law Needed for the World to get Along! Haiku!

Everyone is free
so long as they don't take that
right from someone else

by Capt Mike

Details | Couplet | |


         MEN OF GOD

Kenya is a Godly nation
Check on any TV station
Starts at dawn and goes all day
Teaching people how to pray

Then at night it's shilling serious
With the watchers drunk –delirious-
If you want the chance to pray
First you get the chance to pay

“Men of God,” my colleague swilled--
“Deserve a special God-rate bill.
When I do a job for them
Charge them twenty not just ten.”

 Victoria Anderson-Throop ©
12/01/12  Juja, Kenya  Africa

Details | Haiku | |

Clock Poetry

Time ticks and could trick
Could go places unnoticed 
It can kick and trip

Details | Lyric | |


My rhymes are timeless while this time is lifeless
why is life this kind less, reminds me that this
mind is spineless ready to tip and quit, as
my lies become mindless and get swollen shut
and Stuck up inside my sinus
Drivin in my prime but with no optimus
Victim to the flip-side of the Midas
Running through my blood like a virus
The sun makes my skin mundane
rubbin on ben gay but get arthritis
touch spermicide and converts to hepatitis
I hit the plus sign but it just musters up a minus
I'm seen sucking my thumb like the peanut's Linus
I run and duck when I hear the sirens cause
I abducted the president's Nike air pumps
now air force one is trying to find us
I'm at my desk obsessin about success but
This whole time its been right behind us

Details | Limerick | |

Next Thing to Believe

Why do we believe the hype they spread?
Next year they say we all might be dead
This spring all will shut down
Does this bring you a frown?
Rise of gasoline with rise of bread

We seem to believe whatever they say
Why are their words now gospel today
We are losing freedoms
More or less, like kingdoms
We left one of these, for freedom to pray

Let’s see if a rumor I start unfurls
Our new cars will be run by squirrels
Fueled by nuts and acorns
But never peppercorns
Because if you do, the car just twirls

Written for

Sponsor john freeman 
Contest Name Slapstick Limerick Contest 

Details | Light Poetry | |

Over The Hill Footle

what you will
    when over that hill

    well your feet will swell
               and body might smell 
                           your hair will grey 
                                  want to be lazy all day

                                         tummy will sag
                                             eyes will bag

                                                    get bunions too
                                                          on heels how shrew

                                                                     lose some teeth
                                                                               OMG good grief

                                                                                         so if you will
                                                                                               take it slowly up that hill

Entry For Brian Strand's 
What You Will Contest

I chose Footle



Details | Quatrain | |


It's only a poem.
Don't use that word.
I'm trying real hard,
despite what you've heard.

It's gonna get better.
I won't be deterred.
I've only just started.
and won't be deferred

It has a great ending
and won't be absurd.
Not one that I wanted,
but one I preferred.

It's not very long
and won't leave you spurred.
Unless you read slower
than what I've inferred.

I've added a climax
that won't go unheard.
Unless you're much older
than what I've concurred.

I'm nearing the end;
in which I've conferred,
to leaving you something
I hope has recurred.

And now for the ending
to which I referred.
In leaving you nothing
Accept for the

Details | I do not know? | |

The Constitution of a Aging Veggie Eater

The Constitution of a Aging Veggie Eater

I the aged, will do my solemnly best
to eat all my green like vegetables 
and what every doctor Oz says is good for my body 
and will affirm that in good faith, I give my word that, I will protect my colon and my heart 
to the best of my ability, to preserve my health and defend my new way of life 
no matter how young i may feel at the time...  

P.S.  But if a desert comes into view, I will not, do my Hostess best to walk away?!  
               but eat it with the vigor of a young woman, without a waist line!    
             "Oath of office of the President of the United States"

	"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President
of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the
Constitution of the United States."

Details | Light Poetry | |

More Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the Day

I made a wish upon a star and really got burned
I made a wish upon a star and left Madonna breathless
I hitched my wagon to a star but forgot my spacesuit
The stars in my eyes turned out to be black holes

I couldn’t rise to the occasion so I took some Viagra
Did Harvey Wall Banger? Nope, Willy-Nilly slapped him silly
I once had sex on a golf course but wasn’t up to par and got penalized three strokes
A sex therapist counseled a maggot couple to make love in Earnest

I decided to take a brisk walk but there was this plank…
I WALKED that plank but they drained the pool so I cracked up
I walked the line and it was a very thin line (A very fine line though)
I walked the straight and narrow and had to stop for directions

I made a molehill out of a mountain and the EPA was NOT amused
I made another molehill out of a mountain and the CLIMBERS were not amused
I made ANOTHER mole hill out of a mountain but some mole dug up some dirt on me
I was shamed when the scandal was published in The Holey-Moley Enquirer
So I dug up some dirt on THEM and completely ruined my manicure…

If life is a rat race, God needs to set out some traps
Life was a bowl of cherries til I cracked my tooth on a pit
Speaking of pits, I escaped The Pit and the Pendulum but (Oh, rats)
Speaking of rodents, three-blind-mice ran into a herd of stampeding lemmings and quickly took the plunge…

Details | Limerick | |

The Political Fence

I sat on my Republican fence.
Looking at politicians from thence.
And what did I see
Looking back at me?
Disenfranchised freedoms with no sense.

Details | Rhyme | |

Drippity drip drip

Take me there I don't care Touch my hair Eat this pear!!! I am bare Want to share? Do you care? I am bear I'll let you stare Don't go there By the chair Or on that stair? Your skin is fair You look like Cher Come to my lair But pay my fare Drippity drip drip

Details | Narrative | |

The name game

I’d never have guessed the fuss behind names To the rich and famous, their claim to fame To some a status of great importance Some changed by deed poll, classed as a hindrance Mr, a title and blend of Master Mrs, feminine can one go faster Such fuss over names, fill me with laughter They’ll always be here, before and after.

Details | Senryu | |

Disco Ball

Disco Ball
Frenetic feet tap;
Across the room
Shy boys gather,
First dance jitters crawl.

Details | Rhyme | |

The Clothes Horse

The Clothes Horse
Joanna Davis

He rode her in autumn, winter and spring
In summer he bought her everything
balmain, chanel… the finest couture,
this lonely clothes horse with elegance wore
Each affair she saw through her designer lens, 
and with christian dior he make amends
In every debauchery he could safely wallow, 
as his shackled filly would every lie swallow
So heed this lesson and don’t be spoon fed,
or you’ll be a horse’s a** instead of a thoroughbred!


Details | Limerick | |

The Apple

The green of an apple is a forth coming blessing
With its confirmed ripeness our lips begin the pressing
But remember to address it for any worms
Less in thy mouth they wiggle and squirm
For like bleu cheese dressing the experience is quit depressing

Details | Haiku | |

patience #30 angel card

not a natural 
has to be thought out and planned
who has time for that!?!?!?

Details | Rhyme | |

Thursday's Advice To My Friend

Get some rest my friend,
Like me.
Breeze through tomorrow,
Then, it's the weekend baby!

wrote 1-21-10
in a text to my friend, Tralanya

Details | Cinquain | |

The Game Of Life

golf won't
describe me to
a tee, but putt-putt is
more my style -- shorter distances
to win.

Details | Cowboy | |

guitar band dementia

camera three is having 
an existential crisis; 
his long languid lens 
has suffered in silence, 
an impotent shard of 
quixotic resistance, 
for his vision won’t 
focus on faecal injustice, 

camera three is having 
an existential crisis; 
mascots, despots, 
or other devices,
just won’t solve the problem,
or even negate, 
this delicate time 
in his delicate state,

camera three is having 
an existential crisis; 
Osiris, Anubis, Oasis and Isis, 
have all shed the skin of 
guitar band dementia, 
wheeling out wisdom 
for the fear of inertia,
camera three is having 
an existential crisis…

Details | Free verse | |

The Eternal Infernos of Pain

Front and Center!
Those Gates adorned with pearls in Heaven.
White angels soaring. 

If by chance, 
Ordered to enter;
Through St. Peter's Permission; 
I demand from you chancellor; 
A swift insanity plea, submission. 
For this troubled soul is plagued, 
By vast displays of wicked ways. 

None lost. 
Courtesy of meticulous examination. 
Love lost. 

Diligence pending Investigation. 
Key Evidence, perpetually documented 
In Sin's ominous catalog. 
Rebuke my Judge! 
For multitudes of shortcomings, 
He failed to ascertain. 

Moreover, present was He, 
When Satan drafted me. 
First round,
Pick three.
His Fantasy League...
"The Eternal Infernos of Pain" 

JS Lambert

Details | Lyric | |

The Pawn Folly

Sand-like cliffs reaching up as towers
 thier sole purpose, but to measure hours,
 feels a though I'm stuck in a cage
 resulting in more visitations with rage;
There's not enough drink to fade it away
 and too much left to quit it, today.
 A good woman could help me put it down
 but, there doesn't seem to be any of them, around.
Gravity's pulling just as hard as she'd might
 and, the extra pull, has brought upon us, the night;
 and, just as noon can coerce the dew to fade
 night got real lucky, bartering for trade;
for day's sky and night's sky yearned for folly to be
 each dimension's signature for eternity;
 pawn folly was divided into both these domains
 giving birth to split issues, and more difficult planes.
But, on l keep trudging, as on l must go
 who'll win in the long-run, believe l'll never know,
 l've donned my best hat and, my only warm cloak
 but it's hard to realize that I'm the butt of the joke!

Details | Verse | |

Solo Flight

Looking for giggle poems for kids? 
Try 'Lilly the leaf ' audio CD by this author 
and help sponsor Plan international’s
 ‘Because I’m a Girl’ campaign or download
 the illustrated book for kindle at amazon

Solo Flight
Joanna Davis

I’m going so next time round
 ‘cause no brave knight have I found
Who’s good enough to rest his head,
upon my silken feather bed?
I’m going solo with no reservations, 
without maybes, buts or procrastinations
I’ll seek some alternative recreation
on which to channel my frustrations
In which to put my soul and heart,
like psychology, law or Egyptian art!
With me mankind would one giant step forward~~~~leap,
or maybe I’ll just go back to sleep
Tomorrow’s another day to start over,
relentlessly seeking my four leaf clover!

Details | Limerick | |

Up A Creek Without A Paddle

<                              once this girl had seen her own shadow
                                got scared begun to wag and waddle
                                crossed over center line
                                hit by semi's behind 
                                now shes up creek without a paddle 

Writen by Katherine Stella

Entry For Rick Parise's 
Shadows And Lines Contest
G.L. All

Details | Haiku | |

Monday Morning

With a single breath
a smile the planets aligned
for Monday morning

Details | Limerick | |

Slamming Politicians

They slam each other every day.
Tearing them apart in a sly way,
Truth I say, what a lie.
Political games cry.
Give them cement shoes, drop into bay.

Next election, vote for three blind mice,
They would fare better, than roll of dice.
Vote now for mystery.
Go down in history.
For they have no “tales-tails“, truths suffice.

Details | Alliteration | |


Strolling southern seashore in mists of September
searching for something set to stay,
her mind that meanders,
remarkable meters,
perplexing the phantoms at play.

Voices validating vague vagrant vocations
of poetry placed in parade,
with words waged in warring,
warning of the wheighman,
who knew you had dues left unpaid.

Before the seashore became her domain,
she’d wandered the wayside of pain,
locked in psychotic box
Doctor’s ticking clocks,
saying drain her poor brain once again.

Prefer sleep on the street keep her beat from defeat
she found sound vocation once more,
tourist response sterling,
shape sand to her seeing,
she sells sea shells, by the sea shore.

Details | Cinquain | |

It's Tax Time Cinquain

                                                       financial charge
                                                      direct or indirect
                                                exacted by our legislate

Details | Rhyme | |

Oh What Fun

 <                                                B y         G r i l l 

                                                   W i T h     J i L L

                                                   C r A c K i N G

                                                           A  t

                                                        B  i  l  l

                                                         W h O

                                                        T O o K

                                                          S i X
                                                   O x I C o T t O N s

                                                          A n D


                                                          G o T

                                                           I L L

                                                           O  H

                                                         W  h  A  t


                                                          S p I L L


Entry For
Nikko Palmario's
Life Without  U & Me
G.L. All




Hate Cleaning Up 
After Someone Else's Spills  LOL  

GL ALL IN Contest

Details | Chastushka | |



At four she was a guinea pig
For a rising college geek
‘Cause the kid was talkative
Perfect brain to take a peek

So the testing started there
Little questions never ended
Hungry little mind was bright
Former life was now suspended

Didn’t jazz and didn’t play
Let her mournful dogs run wild
Didn’t swing and didn’t climb
Became a different, sober child

Read newspapers, wanted more
‘who is what and what is why’
Annoyed the neighbors and her cats
‘tell me how to testify!’

Reading things beyond her years
‘here’s a book, now zip it up’
No one paid attention what--
So she read to fill her cup

In the summer age of seven
Brother studied long and hard
Morte D’Arthur spent the night
Flashing with his mighty sword

Dashing all the summer long
With the heroes of the Table
Rode and battled, saved the day
Brushed her horse in Arthur’s stable

Ulysses sailed in close behind
Wicked Sirens plied their trade
Then a buddy left a Fleming
Full blown sex was then displayed

So she passed the books around
To the friends who had no sources
Little girls with Barbie dolls 
played at passion and divorces

What a start to what a life
Wouldn’t have it changed a bit
But if Mother would have known
Certain she would have had a fit.

By Victoria Anderson-Throop ©
November 30, 2012

Details | Dramatic monologue | |

wealthy or healthy?

why is it that most people are always seeking wealth?
they will push themselves to the limit and disregard their health
money can't buy true happiness, 
it's more of a burden than a prize
yet many people are obsessed with it,
but at what price?

how many houses can you live in ?
how many cars can you drive?
how many gold chains can you wear around your neck?
will your wealth keep you alive?
how many credit cards and bank accounts do you really need?
as humans we are great consumers 
and we have a condition known as greed

it's funny how there are some people who don't have a lot of bucks
yet they live lives of happiness, is it their destiny or is it luck?
it's funny how those people who can barely get by
learn to live on less and contently survive

yes, we'd all like to be rich and not have to look at the price
whenever we want to buy something, but what are you willing to sacrifice?
when it comes down to the truth, you have to decide what is your measure
is it health or is it wealth? what do you treasure?
in sickness and in health
in poverty and in wealth

you can have all the money in this world and still have a fatal disease
you can live in a trailer park and with your few possessions and be pleased
you can have that great big house in the best part of town
but if you're laid out on your back, where is the good in it to be found?

money and wealth are just some of Satan's tools
to take people away from God and make them act like fools
many will lie, some will steal and others will kill for wealth
but what good is all the money in the world 
if you ain't got  your health?

Details | Couplet | |

A Couplet

You told me the proletariat's movement was eternal 
But I saw you reading the Wall Street Journal

Details | Verse | |

Le Vacance Pretentieuse: Baggage Claim

Drained to my very heart by our slow-paced arrival, 
          I wander through tasteless decor to the metal arches 
                                                Beyond which a future is unfurled.
My bag’s innards are spilled like blood in the Bible
          Before the cold gaze of the armed man who marches;
                                                He holds the key to this new world.

The mechanistic arch stands and takes quasi-sentience 
          Beside passport control, piercing my finely popped 
                                                Eardrums with sonic solemnity.
I am refused by technology but stagger forward hence 
          Into baggage claim where a suitcase pile is propped 
                                                Up like a holiday Tetris calamity.

My suitcase is soul black and with difficulty is found,
          In its lucid eagerness to fasten itself a faux family;
			   Airports are filled with pretences.
Now we are away again, small trolley safe and sound,
          On the road from snow, heat is where I plan to be.
                                                Our intrepid journey commences...

Details | Limerick | |

Boy Am I Hungry

Battle of the bulge
From greesy foods love to divulge
Over lips and through the gums
Love handles now do come
When will I learn not to indulge

Details | I do not know? | |


I am a Prestigious Professor of Philosophy,
At a quite Elite University.

I get generous grants,
To sit on my pants,

And write books that nobody reads.

Details | Free verse | |

Moulting - for you

the next is like the first
equally shedding more skin
you do that again and again 
and I known each time 
you look at me 
we are transformed

and so we take each step
each page is torn away
a day, a week, a month
eternity in our eyes

this time with you 
like a wave that never breaks
a swell in the heart of the ocean

where the two race, play, swim

we are
the ones we see

in the next moment the sun rolls by
you lighten up the room
again a mirror 

to the little pools of mystery 
spilling out around you
giving up the secret

moulting in the broad day light

Details | Free verse | |

Seeking Knowledge

"You'll get knowledge from books", the teacher told the boy.
He went into the library, picked a big science book,
and started shaking it, so that some knowledge would be filtered out. He may
have displayed thoughtlessness, but that was the beginning of understanding.....

Details | Narrative | |


Love is someting on a daily basis that should always be displayed
A kind word,helping hands are ways it can be conveyed.
Hello there!How are you doing ?Or may I help you please.....
Are all but a few phrases that could be said with ease?

Instead.....its no thank you!I donk care or who are you anyway?
You're just trying to extend a little love and then they blow you away.
That's a nice dress,I like your hair or may I please see your hat?
All you can hear with a cold stare is what you think he looking at.

Our dear Father who lives up above,said to love everyone like your self;
I guess people these days got tired of that and put love back on the shelf.
We need to take it back down ,dust it off and give it another try,
Its not that hard to spread around even if its denied.

I still beleive that love has hope amidst the doom and gloom;
It may get better....I don't know?......before GOD comes,or when man
lives on the moon

Details | Free verse | |

Death and Dying

The night Hunter S. Thompson,
blew his head off,
Toy Box Tomato Girl,
went Gonzo Geisha on me.
Abandoning the old man’s love,
for pure unadulterated orgy,
intoxicating arms and legs,
intertwining lyrical sighs,
with bi young black,
and blond hard bodies,
tango tongues sharing saliva.
I assume the blue black hue, 
of late night television,
as segregate candles,
was less exciting.					

The night Hunter S. Thompson,
shot a hole in his skull,		
Hemingway’s history, 
lay on his boney lap.
The running of the bulls,				
the crash in Castro’s Cuba,
the locking-up of papers,
the string of worldly wives,
aimless running away.
Toy Box Tomato Girl,
knew little of the artist  face.
Being just twenty two,
she had yet to embrace,
life’s joys and tragedies. 
Not quite able to end it all,
and not quite schooled, 
in T.V. light literature,
spontaneously she fled.

Details | Rhyme | |

The World Needs Stupid Poems About Sheep

There's many speeches made upon the battlefield of life
And much advice both wise and otherwise
There's words to spur us on to overcome all sorts of strife
Some honest truths and some just hopeful lies.

The pep talk to build up the team so they go out and win;
The mantras found in simple battle cries;
The politics of power delivered with an extra spin;
The prophets' words reduced to sermon size;

The burning words of hatred that can send a man to kill
To light the fire that must be quenched with blood;
The prophecies long written that the blind seek to fulfil;
The word that lifts the fallen from the mud.

The lovers speak in whispers in the darkness of the night
And plight to each their troth in sickly verse
And the righteous lift up their voice to praise God, good and right
And hide the fact that they do something worse.

But if there is humanity and sanity to keep
The world needs stupid poems about sheep.

Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Mr. Bernanke!

Oh Mr. Bernanke
Are we going to have that Rate-cut today?
Aha, you are the candy-man
Could wave your wand
Make the dying Market stand.

Ah, but it ain’t working anymore
The Market is a falling man
Oh Mr. Bernanke
You wave your wand
But it’s fallen over the stands!

Oh Mr. Bernanke
Swayed the Market just your own way!
But banks aren’t making money
The cuts to them are one too many
Candy-man, the Market won’t stand!

Got my only heifer and sacrificed
At the altar of Dow and Nasdaq, paid a high price
The Dow, oh it fell through the Year’s low
Now here I come, Candy-man
Look through your store
We need something more!

Details | I do not know? | |

Professional Divorcé

Lost in emotions
Two souls approaching new path
Bitterness adorned

Forgetting love, possibly they shared.
Reasoning on the fights, they had bared.
Manly disfiguring blow.
So possible you know.
Now departing, both no longer  paired.

Marriages four, divorced three times now in this life of mine.

If another comes my way, next lover shall be a glass of wine..

Sponsor (Destroyer ((Poet 
Contest Name ~DIVORCE CLUB~ 

Details | Free verse | |



To get someone to read my poems… Contests there must be.
They must be bleeping nuts thinking I can follow all those cockeyed rules.
Out of a zillion types of poems they always pick the weirdest ones.
Allowed only 16 lines… I found I stopped at ninety-one.
And for a topic they want a bird throwing glitter from a tree.
How about I spank them as I put them across my knee!!!
And why must I name it… as they told me? Where’s that for creativity?
Then they want a special comment added in the poem…
I would rather not add plagiarism… I’d rather call it my own.
But, you know, I am so very needy that I’ll do whatever they want.
Well… I’ll do, maybe one or two… of the things they want.
I know this makes it harder to judge the poems that are found therein.
But to me a poem… is a funny bent on my crazy whim.
Then suddenly, Lord Have Mercy… my poem didn’t win.
But I’m happy as punch for even with their strained smile…
I’m sure they read one of my poems yet again. :)

(Meant only for fun) I'm not really complaining. Just having fun.

Details | Light Poetry | |

ravings of a PIANO PLAYER(Sad Composers say too much)

Listen to what the man has SAID
Religion is just more or less DEAD
Sir Elton is singing the BLUES
He wants to share with everyone this tragic NEWS
The conclave is not doing -HIT
"Jesus was so full of IT"
Dance to the ravings of a Honky Tonk MAN
Who likes to eat Doritos as fast as he CAN
"The World is close to wwIII-
God,I'm afraid,does nothing for ME"
Reginald DWIGHT wants to show us the LIGHT

"Throw away your Bible but put on my cd TONIGHT"

Heed the words of the Crododile ROCK:

"The Pope of Today,his messages are merely CROCK-
Embrace the new way,courtesy of Topin and ME
This is your preacher,Elton John..
many thanks to Cincinati WKRP

Details | ABC | |

Crazy World

Crazy World

It’s funny how
The universities are still in business
Of producing graduates
That speak funny English
And hardly make invention
And the stock market falls
Down street tumbles
That lets people buy
And make profit
Like grandpa used to say,
True intellectualism died
In the year 1929
With the rise in acumen inflation
It was then that
This Federal Reserve of Ignorance
The true villain of this quandary
Traces its genesis
Hope that explains succinct
This universal impotence

Details | Villanelle | |

Quakers on Pacifism

It is not “P. C.” to be anti-war,

Or to refuse to stuff one’s face with meat.

Quakers are not pacifists anymore


By definition.  It’s not like before.

These things are individual.  We can cheat.

It is not “P. C.” to be anti-war.


We cannot break an invisible law.

We rubbed it out, you see.  I should repeat:

Quakers are not pacifists anymore.


Some are.  Some aren’t.  There’s nothing we stand for.

We can have bacon, toast or Shredded Wheat.

It is not “P. C.” to be anti-war – 


To be vegetarian, vegan or

In any way, restrict what one may eat.

Quakers are not pacifists anymore.


This, Friends, is the conclusion we must draw – 

Won’t vote on this; we might just face defeat:

It is not “P. C.” to be anti-war.

Quakers are not pacifists anymore. 

Details | Free verse | |

Thoughts Aloud

No matter who,

No matter where,

No matter when,

It only matters why and what for.



Yesterday was early,

Tomorrow will be late,

Today I have no time.



You can’t train in a gym?

 You want to look young and slim?

Stay close to the old ones and fat.

There are many ways to skin a cat.



Sometimes I think:

Here is my happiness.

But after a drink for two

I see that it’s just another experience.



I am allergic to Scotch.

When I drink a lot of it

My tongue begins to itch.



I am on the seventh heaven!

I am here a baron!

Don’t place a ladder

If you don’t want to be a scrapper!

I will never go down

As I don’t want to be a clown!



SMS from someone’s wife:

Went to the place you’ve sent,

I understand what you’ve meant.

Behave here like a whore and ask myself:

Why didn’t I listen to you before?



A good thought means a lot.

It’s orgasm of the brain

Which you have to train.

If you experience it

You’ll get fun.

Others who imitate it

 Just get a mock sun.



When we were young,

When we were young,

Lovely nonsense was on the tongue.


©Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

Details | Rhyme | |


The clinks and clanks                                                                                                      Rising lowering rails                                                                                                    Roaring weight little shanks                                                                                      Their mark fails                                                                                                        Who is to blame                                                                                                           Me thinks idle                                                                                                            Not riding that train

Details | Rhyme | |

Our Leaders Are Nuts

What makes a nut
Want a national cut
To spend on ale and raving slut?

What again what
Makes a nation in want
Want to play a giant
When even he is not self reliant?

What makes a rat
Want to call a cat to combat
If he has not a nut in his hat
Or a written letter for a call to heaven from earth?

We are in want
Our leaders gone coo coo in their cot 
Am beginning to wonder what
But let our observation shut
As we lock twist our gut
We can say naught
'Cos death is easier than I thought

Let's put our barrels a'shut
And our eyes closed to truth
At least we can leave longer in our booth
Hiding and fleeing the truth

But truly, out leaders are just nuts

Details | I do not know? | |

Illegitimi non Carborundum

Illegitimi non carborundum ;-)

...Staggering, my vision cloudy,

I fall to the hard ground.

when life’s sharp left-jab leaves my face bloody,

and all that surrounds me, is the desolation of loss I feel all around.

I see myself slipping,

down the abyss to where nothingness exists,

still, I cling on, groping for a foothold,

for my will to stay persists.

I clamber up, I stand my ground, though battered and bruised I may be,

my curtain is not falling yet, I have some fight still left in me.

It is then, in the pit of despair, when all seems bleak and painful and dull,

I summon the strength from deep within,

I rise, slowly, to face the day,

I refuse to sink,

to wallow, to surrender, to throw in the towel,

to drown,

for I am stronger now,

indeed I am, after all the years, and all the battles,

I stand, bruised and bloody,


I stand,

I refuse, to sink, to drown,

for they can try, to punish me some more,

but I shall not allow them to grind me down…


Details | Free verse | |

I Am Woman Hear Me Roar

I am strong as that of a mighty eagle
Won't back down to predators

I am strong that of atlas
Can carry the world on my shoulders

I am strong that of a loco motive
Reaching final destinations 

I am strong that of God
Only within His calling

                              For the hand who touches
                                 Is the man saved

I have the willpower
To see it through

I have structure
To make it happen

I have knowledge 
To share unto others

                              For I am woman
                                Hear me Roar

Entry For Rambling Poet's
I Am Strong Contest

Details | Free verse | |

SEXY FRENCH GIRLS encounter an American 15yr old boy

 in the eyes of an
15 yr  American old boy


My son
Sweet naive
Raised in China
Where MTV and YOUTUBE are banned
Where no girl kisses
Until her university days end.
Raised in China
Where knees are covered--
Lips are sealed--
Where boys
Only dream
Of the wonders of Red sex.
My son
Said he loved Paris
     For the Eiffel
     For the Louvre
     For the Seine
     For the wine.

But I knew
He loved Paris
For the
Blackest  panties
Barely hiding
Knowing smiles
Short tight skirts.

Details | Rhyme | |

Our politicians

Our Politicians
They speak like politicians
And hold a great ambition.
They think they are right
And same speech they recite.
They always gather for a bite
Deciding who should start the fight.
All have their own stations
To be the victims of cremation.
They gather their own crowd
Who cheer and clap to any sound.
They think they are right
Only here for a bite.
They speak like Aristo
And act like Montecristo!
They smoke big cigars
And all drive tinted cars.
They dress in glitter
And all have Twitter.
They act so polite
But hardly can write.
Always in action
Only during the election.
To make a collection
Or a connection.
O What a time you feel like 
Committing a crime.

For a brief background about this poem, pls, read the poem (Beirut).

Details | I do not know? | |


Steer clear of the sleeping crocodile. 
Never clasp a viper to your breast.  
Don't trust that grinning tiger. 
Tonight, when you lie down to rest.

Do not guide a pilgrim's footsteps, 
If you do not know the way.
Don't coach the kids in Little League,
If you don't know how to play

Do not prune a dead branch from a tree, 
When you're standing on that limb
Don't give your hand to a drowning man,
If you don't know how to swim.

Details | Narrative | |


Frozen in time,
captivated by this enormous being,
the size of a small car.

his every move.
The way he used his hands;
so child-like.
With all the consciousness of the world, 
and graceless coordination.

of the visitors,
as they briefly called out for his attention.
Only for a moment,
then they were gone.

in an orderly sham. 
He sat there,
in his dark cave.
As if he was waiting for the light to find him.

on a boulder, 
squatting, and primitive.
Drawing in the dirt with one hand. 
Swatting a fly with the other.

His nature,
as he rushed to consume his food.
The females hovered behind him,
watching intently, 
like me.
His movement mechanic.
His presence powerful.
He was the king of his domain.

his magnificence, I watched.
How smart was he?
Could he feel my presence? 
Engulfed in the very essence of all that was him, 
I watched. 

how he felt, I watched.
Did he think he was still in the womb of Mother Nature?
Or, did he know the iron bars which embrace him now?

it happened;
our eyes met.
He noticed my presence.
His gaze intimidated me, 
But I did not look away.
He approached me.
I felt his eyes inspecting my soul.
A chill ran down my back,
I turned behind me,
only to find no other presence there.
When I turned back, 
we were face to face.
Separated by the sham,
And a two inch piece of glass.
Just me and him,
the two of us,
and the females hovering behind him.

His old eyes spoke to me,
They said 
“I am like you. 
I love, I feel, I hurt.
I am, like you.”

I put my hand on the glass
and with all the 
consciousness of the world,
he did the same.
With tears in my eyes,
I smiled.

Then, he pooped in his other hand
and wiped it on the glass.
This was a sign of endearment.
I laughed out loud.
And I swear,
He smiled back.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Tiny Adventures

Tiny adventures renew the spirit and the mind,
curing us from a world that has been abrasive and
unkind, in the throes of the hustle and bustle no
one sees our pains, so we have to take care of 
ourselves, the best way we know how.........
Refreshing our innocent souls that lay
bruised and tired from being under attack,
Tiny adventures allow us to get our groove

Details | Free verse | |

Confessions of Inanimate Objects

Confessions of Pistachio Pudding

The pudding said to the whipped cream 
"I love the way you feel on top of me... 
all light and sugary...but I have a confession 
I was not always a bowl of Pistachio Pudding 
I used to be Lancelot 
I suspect you were once Guinevere 
I suspect that maybe Dave Matthews 
Was once Mozart 
I suspect that writers reciprocally 
create the same masterpieces over and over again 
Just changing them 
But leaving the same message 
and thus "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star," became "Satellite" 
I suspect that possibly Arthur Laurents was William Shakespeare and that's why 
Westside Story and Romeo and Juliet are so similar 
I suspect a lot of things that animate objects would never suspect 
When your inanimate you see things others can't 
and so my delectable whipped cream 
I suspect I have known you before 

Confessions of a Blowtorch

The Blowtorch said to the Steel 
“I am going to enjoy this 
More than you know 
Believe you me 
We reap what we sow 
Like bright burning fire turns wood to gray ashes 
Like a Singapore criminal that gets thirteen lashes 
It is now my turn 
to burn into you 
For three past lives 
I suffered through 
You were rubber 
while I was glue 
You were the slaughterhouse 
while I cried out “Moo!” 
You were the white man 
And my people the Sioux 
But the past is the past 
We start a new 
And this is my turn “to do” 
what I do 
Like kismet karma on a merry-go-round 
The truth is false 
The lost is found 
I burn you steel 
I feel your pain 
I’ve cried your cry 
I feel no shame.” 

It should be ironically noted that the steel was in no way hurt or bothered by the 
flame of the blow torch 

Excerpt from: The Chemicals Between Us
By: Joseph DeMarco

Details | Couplet | |



Please, lowly and so very hairy worm,
believe ! You must have faith, your luck will turn;
your somewhat desperate soon-to-be flutter
will cause provision - of bread and butter -
to a family's table very far away;
this thought really ought to be making your day !

Alan McAlpine Douglas

Details | Free verse | |

More of the Same

And that's what I'm here today
To talk to all of you about
I'm relieved to be able to say
Love has been cultured out
And dreams -- by definition unrealistic -- 
We like to catch these things before they begin
While there are still some hopelessly idealistic
We're fond of pointing out they never win
Though they cost society a lot
With their various derangements
With their belief in what is not
Trying to force arrangements
To accommodate this rot
On society as a whole
Luckily they are so few
It's a completely futile goal
There's nothing they can do
Against the majority
And it certainly seems 
They don't realize our priority
Is not love or ideals or dreams
But to get what we want
While playing the game
And that the prize in this hunt
Is more of the same
It has nothing to do with heart
Eliminate feeling and avoid pain
Eliminate all that from the start
That's what's sane
No one can touch us then
And catching these things before they begin
Gives us an edge on what we want   when
What we want -- WHAT WE WANT -- is to WIN !

Details | Senryu | |

existence questioned

existence questioned:
when the glass door wont open,
I wave at myself

Details | Ballad | |

The Whiskey Ballet

Once in a while when we fall down
Rarely ever is there anybody else around
To take all of our sorrows and misery away
We seem to suffer to our dying day
A maelstrom of voices swirl through our heads
A bunch of mixed up words from what people said
Saying that this is what life is about
But this ain't what I want and that I don't doubt
I'm drowning the bad thoughts deep in my brain
I'm gonna slam a 60-pound and flush my mind away
I'll wake up in a ditch or in my bloody grave
The ballad of the whiskey ballet
It's cheaper for a bottle than a stinkin' bar
Where all the blasted bastards and the ditchpigs are
I like to drink alone with no one else around
I drink all I want on my own slammin' ground
I don't need someone telling me that I'm being too damned loud
I don't need anyone treating me like a drunk and foolish clown
I'll just turn around and belch into whomevers face and
waltz away on my own cloud by my own staggering pace
I'll be belching and mumbling,kicking and stumbling
puking and yelling,going to Hell andfighting and bleeding
The world will take heed and crashing and crawling
to the ballad of the whiskey ballet!!

Details | Couplet | |

The Blessing for My Book

As my job and health failed me... I dreamed to someday put together a 
book of poetry and this will be the blessing it will begin with...

As I sit here weaving my poetry
Into the semblance of a book…
I find that I must ask Gods’ blessing…
For the journey, that together we have took.

I find I must bow my head in thought…
Over this book that together we have wrought
As my hands clasp oh so reverently and earnestly over my heart…
As I believe his help brought the words together that I sought.

And God set the journey that shaped what now before you begins…
He helped me find the words that reached through my heart to my pen.
I pray the poems will be worthy of what he showed me as my life’s art.
And upon this book I honestly pray that his blessing he will impart. 

Details | Verse | |

Universal Greetings

Saying ‘hello’ around the world
is more than a vocal projection
It’s a movement of lips, swaying of hips,
and at times complete physical expression

Saying ‘hello’ in Asia,
calls for your best leaf of tea
While Europeans make do
with much less conventionally!

For Africans and Caribbean’s alike,
the cordiality of our 'say'...
could make ‘hello’ in the morning,
last until well past midday!

Details | Senryu | |

A Lie or Not

if George Washington 
never told a lie, neither has
Anthony Weiner

Details | Haiku | |

You Don't Phase Me

dogs come cats go
just like moon waxing
Don't let it phase you

Tribute To Moon Waxing LOL

Also Don't Forget To
Turn Those Clocks Back

Details | Verse | |

Beware the Addict

Darkness in my Veins
Impossible Aimless Energy
Soothing all my Pains
for a price
for just a fee
My Soul Addiction

Details | I do not know? | |






Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Riddle me this

Riddle me this
 a question I raise
this thing I have found still keeps me amazed
This thing has no weight
 or numbers or size
there is little use seeing it
 for it confuses the eyes.
It has no length
 though at times it is too short
if you have figured it out, my your quite a sport
If I‘ve got you stumped how about some more clues
with out a little of this
 there would be no you.
It has no smell and the taste isn’t there
but if you have it
 people will stare
it has no color though
 I have heard it can be blue
some times with green eyes
is that the right clue
you can look your whole life
and find it just once
if it has not come to you yet
please don’t feel a dunce
I have heard people say it is sent from above
if you need one more clue
lets just call it love

Details | I do not know? | |

Reminiscing is a funny thing

Reminiscing is a funny thing... 

It's what you remember in the past of what once was. 
Stored in your memory; reliving it FOREVER, 
The good, bad and the ugly.

Reminiscing is a funny thing... 

Because its a time capsule, a photo captured of your life-- 
Stuck in the past--void of the future, so you NEVER move on.

But there comes a time, when its crucial for one to move on; vital to your survival. 

To purge all the pain and regret, that holds us back from living in the present. For when we DO reminisce, we reopen the scar, that we thought was once healed--revealed our flash of weakness..

Reminiscing is a funny thing... 

Alot can be said, or felt of our past--that's if we choose it. We are the true instigators of our own history.

But, the funny thing about reminiscing is that its not funny at all.....

Details | Free verse | |

Philosopher's Elegy

Prof. Twittie died from an
experiment; like and unlike Socrates, he intentionally
took hemlock, to see how the afterlife looks like

He intended to return
to the physical world after his
observations, which he didn't

For a century now, no one following
Prof. Twittie’s school of thought
has yet dared to take poison,
in order to return with Prof. Twittie
back to the physical world,
and finally conclude their findings
in pen and print

Details | Limerick | |

money is not the god that I serve

money is not the god that I serve
for faith in the Lord God is not graded on the curve
God is not concerned with man's window dressings
and He doesn't give a damn about what the world finds impressing
just  trust in Him and he will give you an abundance of blessings
and your soul He will preserve

money is not the god that I desire
for Father God will give me all that I will require
He looks into the minds and hearts of every man
He wants us to live by the spirit of His commands
and once you  become a part of His master plan
the Holy Spirit  you will then acquire

money is not the god that I need to develop a relationship
for only through Jesus Christ will I have passage on that heaven-bound ship
and with only a mustard seed of faith
I will be entering through God's pearly gates
and so joyful that I can hardly wait
for my soul will have had such a great trip

Details | Quatrain | |

Strapping My Victim To An ACME Rocket

Deep inside of me
Lurks a fat and lazy presence
Like Darth Vader without his helmet
Cornerstone in my inner residence

We have always walked together
I'm only recently becoming aware
Of this life-draining saboteur
Whose influence has always been there

They're all out to get us, David
And nobody really cares
The devil, and the government
And none of this is fair

By the way, where are we going?
I'm hot, and I need a drink
I sure hope we get there soon
Because I need something to eat

I love you so much, David
I depend on you so much
The world is such a scary place
And everyone is attacking us

What does ACME mean?
Hey!!, why are you tying me up?
This is what the terrorists do
So you had better stop

The terrorists huh? blah, blah, blah
Remember seeing, What About Bob?
I'm going to launch your sorry ass
You stupid disgusting slob

Then I light the fuse
I look into his pathetic eyes
Hasta la vista, you piece of filth
And shoot his worthless ass into the sky

His face in utter terror
Feeling the awesome lift
I yell, It's just like you thought, huh?
You fat disgusting shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Details | I do not know? | |

high sChOOL

He said, She said
That's all you seem to hear
When you walk down the hall
It's the same thing every year

Unecessary drama
That's all high school's about
You can try to avoid being trapped in it
But you'll never find a way out

Life was so simple
Before our high school days
Before we became caught up
In the 'how to be popular' craze

High school's so overrated
Ive waited 13 years to say
Im a senior so leave me out of it
I'm just here til Graduation Day

Details | Free verse | |

lost, found, and liberated

i use to lie awake at night 
and ponder of this pointless life 
up for hours and not make a sound 
i once was lost but now i am found
my sea of confusion, like moses did part
the instant i let jesus inside of my heart...
but than i let out a gigantic huge fart 
and realized it was just indigestion 
than like a sensible person, i began to question 
and out of those questions, came rational thought 
and all of the things in school i was taught 
like critical thinking and following facts 
so i came to the conclusion: religions a quack 
now i live happily, in awe of earth's mysterious beauty 
and if you don't like it, you can kiss my patooty

Details | Quatrain | |


                                     THE WATERMELON THIEVES

Once when I was oh so young,
My mom decided she,
Would show us where some melons grew,
Beneath some large orange trees.

A farmer man she knew of,
Grew them there she said,
So folks would leave alone the fruit,
That grew above their head.

The melons were okay to take.
Just let the oranges be,
So off we went to pick some,
My mom, my sis and me.

I was only five years old,
So I sat in the car,
With Mama's friend who drove us there,
No light from moon or stars;

Because the orange trees blocked their light,
And I was sore afraid,
Because it was so dark in there,
Hidden in the glade.

Suddenly I saw my mom,
Running like the wind,
Right behind her came my sis,
A melon 'neath each limb.

Then in a flash my mom went down,
She tripped and broke her melons.
"Run Ruth, Run!" I heard her say,
They're runnin' and they're yellin'.

Mother! Wait! I heard Sis call,
For she had gone down too,
Stepped in a rotten one and fell,
They both were in a stew.

A flashlight beam then pierced the dark,
They made the car just barely;
And we took off just like a shot,
Took out the fence gate squarely.

We made it back home just past one.
They laughed until they cried.
I was so young I just sat there,
Agape with my eyes wide.

My mother had skinned both her shins,
My sister, she smelled funny,
Because that melon she stepped in,
Was rotten and real funky.

Some thought my mom as mothers go,
Not what you'd call high scoring,
But I can tell you life back home,
For sure was never boring.

                                                     Judy Ball


Details | Couplet | |

You Snooze You Lose

<                                                  You Snooze
                                                     You Lose

                                                     Lazy Head
                                                     Get Out Of Bed

                                                      No Bread
                                                      No Fead

                                                      Big Bob
                                                      Get A Job

                                                      Soap Queen
                                                      Loves To Dream

                                                      Got Dough
                                                      Hell  No !

                                                      Rather Sleep
                                                      Then Leap

                                                      Sweet Dreams
                                                      Wanna Scream

                                                      Gotta    Go  !
                                                      Work You Know 

                                                      See    Ya    Later
                                                            Alligator !




Details | Haiku | |

Don't Mess With Mom

                                                    there is no fury
                                                like a woman's fury -
                                           so don't mess with mom

Tribute To
Mother Nature

It's Not Nice 
Mother Nature   LOL

Details | Epigram | |


Man is a thorn and woman a rose,
One will prick and the other pose.
Perhaps that is why I suppose,
They intertwine till flower shows...
And then thorn gives way to rose.

Details | Light Poetry | |


                                    GEORGY BUYS A CAR

                         A man named Georgie had a few--
                         Pintsy, wintysy , God Almintsy little pints

                         In the pub perched slick heart Zack--
                         Scammer, hammer, oh what glamour little scam

                         Zack bought Georgie round of drinks--
                         Hooker, crooker, throw the book sir , little hook

                          Georgie said a car he’d buy--
                          Rider, slider, swim the tide Sir,  little ride

                          Zack said “ I got just the ride”--
                          Squeezer , pleaser, shake the knees Sir, little squeeze

                          Out the door and to the lot--
                          Parking, sharking-- not for sparking little park

                          Georgie drove the car for test--
                          Faster, blaster, kick the bastard, little fast

                          Bought the car right on the spot--
                          Casher, flasher, grab the masher, little cash 
                          Georgie got the sales receipt-- 
                          Cheater, bleater, Shakespeare’s theatre, little cheat

                          Zack pulled out a calling card--
                          Teaser, pleaser, Wine and cheese sir? little tease 

                          And with this card came Friday wash--
                          Freebie, sleebie, heebee geebies little free

                          Car wash was a thief run scam--
                          Scamzee , tamzee,  oops and whamzee little scam 

                          Georgie used his Friday ticket--
                          Washy sloshy, Dryzy wyzy now goodbzy little car

                          Zack is smiling-- Georgie’s not--
                          Smilin', dialin' so beguilin, scammer’s smile

                                     Learn from Georgie’s little lesson--
                                     Lesson, stressin, keep you guessin’, little lesson
                                     Don’t buy cars when you are drunk--
                                     Sunk, punk,  in a funk, hide in trunk while you are drunk.

©Victoria Anderson-Throop  

Details | Limerick | |

Nitpicky Treat

Pickles in jars both sour and sweet,
Tickle, fancy of all you meet.
Different shapes to see.
This means nothing to me.
Fickle pickles tickle complete.

Details | Acrostic | |


Silly humans!
Everything you think of involves the

Details | Epulaeryu | |

Dr. Pepper Special (Epulaeryu)

Just like a peppered doctor
Its caffeine perks souls
Like electric it’s a jolt
Awaken the nerves
Taste buds sizzling
Doctor Pep—

© Spencej 9/12/06
© All Rights Reserved

The Epulaeryu poem is about delicious food and drinks. It consists of seven 
lines with thirty-three syllables. The first has seven syllables, second line five, 
third line seven, fourth line five, fifth line five, sixth line three, and seventh line only 
one syllable which ends with an exclamation mark. The Epulaeryu poetic form 
syllable count is 7/5/7/5/5/3/1. Each line has one thought relating to the meal, 
and concludes with the ending line expressing the writer’s excitement and 
feelings about the meal.  The Epulaeryu poetic form was invented by Joseph 

Details | Rhyme | |

If I Could Have A Word With God

If I could have a word with god, I'd ask a lot of stuff 
I'd ask whether a woolly fleece was adequate enough 
And if a wolf would give up if his mouth was full of fluff 

I'd ask him, her or it (perhaps) if it would be a strain 
To give a little sheepie just a bit more in the brain 
So he would have the sense to not stand too long in the rain 

And then I'd ask about the soul and if a sheepie shared 
Whatever benefits it had and why two-leggies cared 
Or whether it was all a con from which the sheep were spared 

Then I'd ask about the start and where it all began 
And what he really thought about the strange two-leggied man 
And just where little sheepies fitted in the masterplan
And then I'd ask him what's the deal with these two-leggy wars
And why they need involve the beasts who wander on all fours
For soldiiers all have arms and hands and never just four paws

And then I'd ask the big one, as a little sheepie poet, 
Whether the all-powerful had considered that the parrots 
Were really suitable to be the only rhyme for carrots

Details | Haiku | |

Boy Are You Slow

look ancient creatures
marching through millennia
at slow steady pace

Tribute To Turtles  LOL

Details | Free verse | |

What Kind of Man?

Beware the Boob Man
For he’s shallow…and a little juvenile

The Leg Man is sensual
And can’t hold a conversation
The Butt Guy
Just wants sex
Correction: Just wants some ass

Watch out for the Foot Dude
Cuz that’s…
…well that’s just weird.
No one likes toe grime

The Vagina Man is smart
Intelligent even
Knows his facts
But tends to forget the big picture
Make sure he doesn’t forget
The rest

The Neck Guy is great in bed
He maybe in bed
With more than just you

The Eye Man is lovely
Simple, tactful, and sincere
He loves walks on the beach
And romantic dinners too
But this man…
He sees perfection
But doesn’t forgive
He may never notice your ass sag
But what happens
When you need glasses?

The Back Man
Is artistic
In his attraction
He can see the sexuality, the sensuality, the spirituality
And the mingling of the three
While he finger-steps over your back
He’ll hold your hand
Making love
And kiss your chin

The strength of a back
The smooth lines
The soft touch
The Back Man knows
It doesn’t receive much
It’s a place where
The entire body convenes
To convulse
To contort
To contribute
To control
To lose control
Where it holds no absolute confidence
Where it holds all conviction

Details | Free verse | |

Somebody Loves Me

Produced 50 yrs ago
My master Pravin Pant Sr.
Felt it was time for my Just Born coop to grow
So he introduced me to some other chicks
Bunnies bats cats pumpkins and
Even thought of placing some lucky stars
In for the heck of it what a day of cellabration
Now he has flipped his lid once again and took a few friends back
Had turned them into lip balms but I don't mind
For they will stay forever fresh on my lips as I speak of them
I been dropped off buildings had been steam rolled over
And each time I bounced back with zest
So please come rescue us from this crazy farmer
Place me in a warm basket or cake or even a dressed table 
For I m just a little peep looking for somebody to love

To The Peep 
In All Of Us    LOL

Details | Senryu | |

Give Yourself A Second Chance

if you did not  have
a good childhood, then stop and 
smell the roses ... twice!

Details | Couplet | |

Get A Rope

Gun slinger
    Matt Zinger

Dressed in black
     Didn't come back

High Noon
    Was Doomed

Quick Draw

Got A Rope
   Hung that dope

Undertaker Called
    Dead Body Hauled

Poured the whisky
     From Junction 60

Dead Man's Trail
  Where slingers failed

Details | Lyric | |

I Am A Jock

A bad play
On a deep and dark September
Gazing from these bleachers
To that ref who blew that call
On a freshly painted court in the middle of fall

I am A Jock
I am A Flock

I've got balls
A fortress deep and plenty
That none will discinagrate
For friendship brings me joy
It's laughter from my best friend Roy

I am A Jock
I am A Flock

Don't talk  hate
For I've heard much before
It's resting in my head
And I'll try not to wake
So It doesn't make you cry
For if I never would of put on that cup
You've  never heard  awwwww shut up

I am A Jock
I am A Flock

I have my hooks
And my cup to protect me
I am such a world charmer
Hiding behind an ump
So another won't bump
I touch no one and he better not touch me

I am A Jock
I am A Flock

And a Jock feels no pain
And a flock seems to die

This is off spin
To Simon And Garfunkle's
I am A Rock    LOL
Gl All

Details | Senryu | |

The Present Form

a creation of
an appetite for the same
political taste.

Details | Light Poetry | |

No Dope Have To Cope

Dope head
      Just read

Medical marijunia
  Many states don't wanna

Flip this bill
     Said it wouldn't heal


   Seizers waaaaaa

They don't care
    And won't share

Any relief
   Good grief

Tired of  puking
   So  got mussing

 To  FDA
         Who just says

No dope
   Gotta cope

Details | Shape | |

Words In A Pattern

w           s d            l g            t i           s d
  h        e    o         l    o         a   s       e     o
    a    o        w     i        u     h      u    o        w
      t g            n w           p w         p g            n

Details | Free verse | |

Art in Love, Art is Life

There goes the Mona Lisa and Picasso's girlfriends
scribbling down the highway of surrealism,
as the Scream is breaking glass with a high-pitched cry in Oslo;
and the melting clocks of Dali's masterpiece stops time for a moment,
as the paintings fall in love.

As color spectrums mix together to create nothing but a mess,
that we all in some way call art,
the Mona Lisa sits and gives one of her snobby smiles.
Picasso lights another cigarette and invites another French girl to his apartment,
paint flies everywhere, as articles of clothing start to strip off,
and the screamer is still screaming, for what?- I have no clue.
All I know is, art is in love.

What a minute- who invited the Thinker?!
All he does is sit there and think all day!
My head would ache if I thought hard and long like a marble statue all day long.
Get out of here Thinker, and take the Scream with you,
he's making me deaf!

There you are art in love, nothing but dead guys, painting naked girls,
who give an innocent smile,
but so a little more than their teeth,
and those Dali clocks that melt slowly in an ideal painting,
you can almost hear time ticking backwards.
Art is beautiful,
Art is life.


Details | Cinquain | |

Sneaky Sentence Function

a one liner
that can bring you to sound
thought or progressively red-cheeked

Details | Free verse | |

Where Persephone Dwells

Seeds of pomegranate 
     in my belly 

This girl wonders how much of her 
Is alive 
above ground 
Or circling Cerebus 
as he chases his tail

(If u r stuck in a dream then aren't u only half living?)

I live with eyes wide open
The Gorgon's stare does not deter

We use people as tarot cards
 to guide our destiny 

Entrails are likely more reliable

Details | Limerick | |

Freedoms Not Allowed

Not allowed to chew gum anymore,
What will be next, not able to open door?
This may seem frivolous.
Will be advantageous,
To profiteer, he will know the score. 

Details | Tail-rhyme | |

Not All Opinions Are Created Equal

While plugging away at my own mental capacity I write what I think with what I think is stunning veracity But sometimes my peers surprise with insistent tenacity And the gall and the chutzpah and the sheer audacity To make outrageous claims that lack any academy. I, being I, of course just can't let this tragedy Lie, for if I, were to ignore it in apathy And laughably, affably smile and accept with alacrity Then my bones might just crumble as I sunk down in agony. So in a ferocious but in my own way quite happily And maybe, I must admit, with a bit too much pageantry I tactfully attack this pompous calamity This shanty, infancy of correct use of faculty Without the piteous sanctity one treats those with a mental malady Because this isn't an appeal to a friend but rationality. And the casualty isn't you or me but our commonality As a species, are we, who seeks universality That won't happen when banality not fact is common mentality.

Details | I do not know? | |



Never ever say sorry.
No matter how put,
a meagre sorry tastes

like yesterday’s curled sandwich,
obstinately irrelevant
to any serious discourse.

Instead, play for effect;
make your mark
with the equivalent

of a six course lunch,
a gourmet spread
of words, allusions

and classical reference;
then profusely apologise
with discipline and skill.

When sitting down
on completing this task,
you may append, quite silently,

the word asshole, if American,
or the much more redolent British word
arsehole, even if American !

(Challenge words : sorry taste obstinate relevant serious play lunch gourmet apologise)

Details | I do not know? | |



Home :
Take one cube of gravy essence,
stir it fretfully, if I still dare,
into boiling, or at least hot-ish water;
such senior movements made with care

Care Home :
Drizzle ointments, yea, and potions
onto wrinkled tangerine skin
of arthritic hands, hips, knee-bones,
prey to crocked aches, and pains within

Hospital :
Please do ignore me gaily, while I toy
with food, well, pap, served up each day;
don’t tie me into bed, I’m already tied to head.
I pray, sometime soon that I’ll be on my way

Thereafter :
Finally to discard this worn-out old suit
trade incontinence for what seems the same,
but with new ability : to bawl up a storm,
and minor inconvenience - this fancy new name

Alan McAlpine Douglas

(Challenge words : cube gravy fret with drizzle tangerine prey arthritic toy tie)

Details | Senryu | |

' Orbit Gum ... ' 28th Senryu

‘ Orbit Gum … ’   28th   Senryu 

       A Devious Tongue
    Is Not A Dry-Witty One
   Just Dirt and Mouth-Scum

Details | Rhyme | |


flux is
stasis is not.
where flux is the only stasis,
then even flux is not.
something tells me
(i don't know what)
that i am speaking through my hat.

(12 may 79)

Details | Free verse | |

Haiku with Media

Few Words, Few pictures, News
Thousand narrations to same story
Every day a new story
Journalism, an art to write
Whether truth is perceived or false
None care, just write it.
Coverage of war or peace
Hidden remains the agenda of brokers
Cameraman with presenter on TV
What is shown, repeat telecast?
Same images, and same footage again
As seen on cable TV 
Magazine, periodicals, articles and letters
People read and contribute searching truth
Some are victims, others spectators
Morphed I did see, pictures
Some well crafted, some under bad hands
Every agency has a news
Reports, articles, statistics and surveys 
Core contents of the daily news papers 
2 page news, rest advertisements.
New flash, breaking news and updates
Presidential speeches, parliament debates and reality shows
Twenty four seven TV channeled 
Melodies, drums and orchestra played
Dramas, shows, politricks and business
Echoing; let the shows begin.
FT, BBC, CNN, News corp. Siasat
Created, supplied, edited, published, blogged, or uploaded  
Chinese whisper crawl in their veins.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Silent Clown

I went to the mall today
I saw the clown around the corner
Kids were going towards her
They all came back in colors

Kids are in red and blue
Kids are in green and yellow
Kids are in orange and purple
Kids are in all different colors

I walked into that corner
I want to be in color too
I stood there for a while
Kids were in queue with their moms

I waited and waited
Time moved forward and forward
When one kid left another one is already on line
I didn't dare to join the line

So I stayed out of line
I watched the big smiles on the small faces
Why I didn't ask her to paint me ?
Why I didn't waited more time ?

I left there without colors
I think it is because I am not a kid anymore
Before leaving I took a card from the clown
Who knows I won't be a clown one day ?

Details | Free verse | |

Unplugged Energy

How has technology saved us?
The world almost runs itself
Digital empires in our hands
Keeping everything in demand
Just another buzz word again
What remains a classic lasts
Now becoming the end of this
The next best thing never is
Screens might be counterfeit
Put down the phone for a sec
You may just run into a pole
Look at the world around you
Do you feel your own energy?

Details | Rhyme | |

Teaching Is Not

Teaching is not brain surgery,
But it is brain enhancing.
Teaching is not rocket science,
Unless you’re assigned to teach it.
Teaching is not a bad profession,
But you do to prepare meaningful lessons.
Teaching is not what just what formal educators do.
Teaching is part of every career that you choose.
Teaching is not terrible.
It could be fun,
Especially if your students are learning,
And the teacher and the good grades are dancing,
Believe me it is rewarding and unbearable.

wrote Fall 2004 
while student teaching @ Neville High School in Monroe, LA,
while a student @ ULM

Details | Free verse | |

I Got Dough {Solfege}

Do -  do   -        a female la beer
Re -  re    -        a drop of re beer
Mi  -  mi             without my mi beer  
Fa-    fa -           place to drive to get ti beer
So  -  so   -        you ran out of mi beer
La   -  la   -         la de da la de da I'll wait for la beer
Ti  -    ti    -        spilt spilt ti beer so no more more of la beer

Do - Do              Do la la think I'm sexy after about six six so beers  LOL 

Got Beer !
Over The Lips Thru The Gums
Look-out Stomach Here It Comes LOL

Also Entry For Izzy Gumbo's Solfege Contest

Details | Couplet | |

A sort of a toast for everyday use

Let's be always gay 
leaving sorrow 
for tomorrow. 

Volodymyr Knyr 

Details | Didactic | |

Towards Peaceful Elections In Nigeria

Yesterday we were happy and free as a bird,
Today with nostagia,we bite our thumb,
Tomorrow we burn midnight oil in tomorrow's aspiration.

Today we give the new veil to a pig,
Tomorrow with bitterness,regret the filthiness.

Today we fashion out plans for unripe pawpaw to ripe for the puppy;
Tomorrow we complain of its mess in the room.

Today we mend water-trough to water grazing fields for the cattle;
Tomorrow we boast of burning the fields for dwelling homes.

Today we spent ourselves to feed the cat,
Tomorrow the cat lives in the bush to eat our fowls.

Today we cherish our dog,our bones on its neck,
Tomorrow it eats the bones even our foods.

Today we accept penny and offer ourselves with pride,
Tomorrow we spend pounds with agony.

Today we labour and tax to welcome the king;
Tomorrow we plant thorns on his parts upon return.

Today we make a prisoner a priest,
Tomorrow we wait for the waist-breaking rhythm.

Today we glorify a tout as the godfather,
Tomorrow we complain of bad company.

After all these,fellow Nigerians,
When shall we think before we leap?

Details | Light Poetry | |

Life in an Hourglass

When you start out you look about at sand grains quite a few, 
There’s so much sand that you can stand to lose a grain or two. 

After a time you feel inclined to think that you are sinking, 
You start to plan for a little less land than you were originally thinking. 

As time passes by you start to wonder why the walls are getting tight, 
It’s the extra pounds that you carry around so you diet with all your might. 

It makes you cry as you look high to where you started out, 
It’s such a waste you’ve kept your taste but somehow lost your clout. 

You can’t pretend when near the end the whirlpool starts to spin 
It turns you round and pulls you down and then it sucks you in. 

Don’t watch the clock as it goes tick tock or time will overtake you, 
And in the end you’ll never transcend this feeling that will shake you. 

That life’s too short and I can report that few know what I’ve found, 
If you walk the path and always laugh the glass will turn around.

Details | Rhyme | |


I was sitting in the Florida sun,
Enjoying a moment of quiet fun-
When I noted some tiny ants hurrying across the table,
I wondered if it was fear or just because they were able.

Many times people are like these tiny ants,
We scurry around living by the seat of our pants,
 Just like the tiny ants on that table-
We do it only because we are able.

This is a strange mood I'm in if I may,
Philosophizing and reminiscing of my hay-days,
Like the ants upon that table-
Having fun just because I'm able.

So all you poets just sitting around-
Start thinking of what you have found,
You can be like those tiny ants on the table,
Write your best simply because you are able.

Details | Blank verse | |

Get Told

I've had to grow up
and down and back again,
but its nice hearing
the new that everyone knows.
You can never be too old,
especially when you still get told.

Details | I do not know? | |


Art is art is Art,

and as such it will be confrontational to someone,

and will at some point in it’s existence, 

piss someone off every minute of the day

( CLiPiCs AKA Kriss Lee: 03-06-09)

Details | Free verse | |

Queen of Doubt



I await your reply with a sigh I wonder if I am bothering In truth I think it is in my head And that they do not mind a bit But sometimes, doubt pokes out And crowns me willingly Doubt is a friend I have come to know well In the most simplest of situations Or the most complex It is a friend that crowns me With a sense of humility—yet at the same time PRIDE I feel superior as the doubter And as such I wait for your reply Justifying the fact that I know you care And that my mind is creating a situation That does not in fact exist In fact, doubt IS pride It is full of limit and full of itself It does not add or subtract It simply clings And crowns my mind As I await your reply, I crown myself proudly, The Queen of Doubt

Details | Quatrain | |

Philosophy of a Housewife

The furniture needs a dusting
The floors mopped and swept
The bathroom needs a scrubbing
The evening  meal to prep

Dirty dishes line the counter
The laundry's in a heap
Pet hair on the cushions
The windowpanes are streaked

In such disarray, I'm overwhelmed
I really should get hopping
But, tomorrow IS another day
I think I'll just go shopping!

Details | Verse | |

Up and Down

There's only one part to Heaven
And seven parts to Hell
A thousand kinds of demon
And one kind of angel

There's no room in the Underworld
So Purgatory was made
There's a billion kinds of sinner
And a hundred kinds of saint

Virtue is it's own reward
But Gluttony is fruitful
Wrath will get you what you want
And Chastity's untruthful

Purity is fine for some
And undoubtedly less bad
But Lust and Greed is twice as fun
And only half as hard

There's only one part to Heaven
And seven parts to Hell
There's a reason why Mankind
Chose Virtue to dispel.

Details | Free verse | |


A billion of leagues
and one pair of legs

Hundreds of smells
So many tastes
torrents of views
innumerable colours
and one nose
one mouth,
two eyes . . . barely.

Countless strangers,
endless loves,
only one sex
and one heart .

Great opportunities,
a few good things
but an infinity of bad
and just one chance,
a short and brief life.

Patricia Evans

Details | Free verse | |

Don't Spill The Beans

let's See
     If He

Will Hang
     With Gang

Or Will
 Just Spill

How Many
If Any


Are there

In A

Year ?

Now Don't 
Leave Me

Hanging !   { LOL}

Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

Beat the Blues

Try a little music, play a new CD
do something different
if you wanna beat the blues.
Drink a little coffee, smoke another joint
do something different
if you wanna beat the blues.
Seek a brand new friend, jog around the block,
do something different
if you wanna beat the blues.
Have a dam good cry, clean out your drawers today,
do something different
if you wanna beat the blues.
Drag yourself out of bed, admit you have the blues
do something different
if you wanna beat the blues

Details | Prose Poetry | |

Zen Buddhist Bird

A Buddhist bird flies 
Under the eyes 
Of winter’s sun 
As I watch his flight 
Across a lonely wintry sky 
Gazing up 
At his long, long flight south 

He diverts himself 
From the chilly northern wind 
A wind 
That the sun cannot warm 

He diverts himself 
With a single thought 
As only a Zen Buddhist bird might do 
And asks 

What is the sound 
Of one wing flapping? 
"the sound of one hand clapping"...(by J. D. Salinger) Thank you Leo

Details | Limerick | |


There once was a man who could tell no lie.
Could laugh quietly and deeply cry.
Placed into politics,
Then learning, some new tricks.
Now truth forgot, so much by and by.

Details | Free verse | |

Pro Predicament

Circuitous circular departures cleverly Sequester and  
embrace Inexpressible  moments of time.

Reexamine status, prevent  consciousness apathy, 
fabricate and reflect acceptance of self. 

precisely propose  to expose fallaciously filtered 
fantastical trickery touched theories.

Turn tasteless translucent tall tales into stable, sturdy, 
structured strands and threads of reality.

Penniless pocketless Poets put the points paralleled 
and placed above onto pure white pieces of paper.

 Once they find the ramble in their role they carefully 
command,Clever creative content to appear from thin vapor.

Amusement, bemusement, a resplendent  daring drawn 
out dark dance down a solitary diabolical descent. 

Lingering Layers let love live in a finely spun web of 
lazy, lofty, lyrical linguistic letters; lost lurking spiders cant
 reach the heights that sadness fled.

Poets are pros, pronounced proponents, that precisely 
reconstruct a feelings components that fails to leave any 
audience in a stoic state of stoney discontent..... 

Though they tirelessly endeavor to gain a fans approval 
and respect, they fail in fortunes favor. 
 Yet each day they commit make their art 
when most would be right to quit. 

Anyone can become a pro poet, 
you can tell we are devoted, though it should be noted 
if that's the readers intent, not a paid pro among us can 
come close to turning our 
thoughts into rent!

Details | Free verse | |

Let's Make a Deal with the Devil

Welcome to the grand MGM Hotel! Roll out the red carpet and Champaign for everybody!
Today, we have a very special guest. Welcome to the hottest club on earth! No bells no,
whistles, yes indeed, just devilish business in profit and greed.
This place is a stick of dynamite! This place is hot! No bells no whistles yes indeed,
just devilish business in profit and greed.
We got casinos and neon lights. Just place your bets and roll the dice! Winner takes all.
I will pay top dollar for your soul. I got a contract for sale. Let’s make a deal. No
bells no, whistles, yes indeed, just devilish business in profit and greed.

Just sign on the dotted line. Come on friend relax. No problems regarding background
checks and picture identification. We have ATMs instant cash availability. The power to do
anything you want. You can live forever, if your soul desires!

All I want is your soul. Sounds like a win, win situation to me? Any problem reading the
small print?  Should you hire a lawyer? Absolutely, we have lawyers down here too!
Unfortunately, people in hell, want ice water

Details | Rhyme | |

TEXTING pt pt pt

All around is the soft pt pt pt of text messaging
Abriviated conversations in silent offerings
On and on in secret codes the droning fills my ears
They do not realise what it is they should all fear

Evolution lurks behind each gene and chromosome
Adaptation in nature has always filled the holes
I see the coming shades of man birthed in technologies womb
Soon even the mighty pen will see its own doom

For man's fingers won't need to grasp something so cylindrical
In fact all he'll need are thumbs to pad and wax lyrical
No need for blue tooth stuck behind your ear
Once you are birthed, a microchip goes up your rear

In fact man's ears will all but fade away
Noise vibrations will be absorbed through the thumbs one day
All of man will dwindle down into just two thumbs
To pt pt pt on a pad to converse with everyone

Our eyes will become squinty slits to better see the screens
With zoom in lenses that pop out to better see the scenes
No movie theatres, cable, sattelite or Net Flix
It all streams to the pads grown into our wrists
With a turn of the cuff and a gentle flick
Our two thumbs pt pt pt to call up a menu list

See a show, text a friend, order pizza in
Which might be a problem, cause of the state our mouths are in
Years of non use, or over use by some
Has caused it to shrivel up as a prune from a plum

Just large enough to stick out our tongues
at the very thought that once we thought we had won
But give nature a chance to over take new science
and the pt pt pt we hear all day will be mankinds silence

For the contest,  Talkin' Technology
Sponsored by Natalie Fllikkema
Placement: 5th

Details | Senryu | |

' Can't Scratch The Surface ... ' 27th Senryu

‘ Can’t Scratch The Surface … ’   27th   Senryu 

         Those, Who Like To Pick
    Try to Stick, Like Lice and Ticks
        … Get Rid-X, Real Quick !

Details | Rhyme | |

Puff Puff

My mind hushed of its crowd of thoughts
The pains ive felt slowly strip away
Anger replaced with a numbing flay
Vision blurred with a cloud of smoke
Sailing me to the land of hope
Worries washed away
For now this is how I will spend my day
Spralled out on the couch,
Joint in my mouth

Details | Tanka | |


Get out of my head
Stop reading this, please listen
What are you doing?
Are you really that intrigued?
Spoiler Alert: Read a book.

Details | Rhyme | |

Stop the ride now please ...

Why dont you stop this ride we’re on ?
How come its taking so damn  long ?
Did you not hear the first time I said 
if we keep going we’ll  both end up dead?
But you never listen just keep going 
I cant keep doing this all the while knowing 
all of the dangers that lies up ahead.
Please listen to the words I have said.
So please stop this ride I wanna get off 
Not in minute or even later ! Dont you scoff 
Stop here right now, not up ahead !
For this is dangerous ground that we tread.
But you will not listen to me and take  heed 
If we keep going I guess there will be no need 
For the track up ahead comes to a dead end 
Please! Oh please! Just try to comprehend!

Details | Light Poetry | |

Wonder Fair (3)

Wonders are for sale now,
Some are even free of charge.
Buy, it matter doesn’t how
Might you well of all this judge.

Any wonder you can try,
Try-and-purchase, that is what.
Any wonder you can buy,
Have you something worthy caught?

You would like to look at this:
Might be thing of greater use.
That is wonder called a ‘bliss’ –
Something I myself could choose.

That’s another – flying cats:
Thirty six for price of one.
They could do for charming pets,
Telling not of immense fun.

Now look up to you right,
Keep you nerve and don’t laugh.
Here is unusual sight –
‘Happy ever after’ stuff.

Loyal friends is common choice,
No less than shooting stars.
Price has dropped on magic voice
Singing truth like music bars.

Maybe mist is to your taste,
Nice and pretty cheap as well.
You have no time to waste –
Make your choice and farewell!


Details | Limerick | |

Macho People have a reason to live

Macho people have a reason to live
Laugh at the wimps
who have an opportunity to give
Men with their biceps
flexing heavy weight
Mocking the small
and their symbol that they hate
Goody two shoes
His eyes on the laptop
Mean Joe Green
wants that thing-am-a-jig to stop
Rolling up the sweaty sleeve
daring the nerd to make him leave
He does not respond
Mr.Machismo thinks he's won
It's the same ol tale
Little guys are sissies
They're not wanted in the navy
In a world in which WE are only sloppy lasts
Is it the Bully or the Weenie
that gets the last laughs

Details | Cinquain | |

Speed Up

no time:
there's none for rest.
the deadline has arrived.
there's none for second chances so

Details | I do not know? | |

The Rainbow Climber

I love to climb up to the tippy-top of rainbows
pulling myself up on ruby red ribbons
and swinging on blue bonnet bows
It can be hard on me when the wild wind blows
A beautifully dangerous love affair, I suppose
Sometimes it can be a thorn
but most times it's a rose
This colorful little hobby that I chose
It always leaves me with sour yellow lips
fluorescent orange ears, and a neon green nose
from all of the slipping and sliding
and the running, hiding, and colliding
Where a rainbow ends nobody knows
As I close,
Let me just say
That the best part of my rainbow climbing day
is at sunset when all of the grey
has been washed away
and I reach the top 
and get ready to play
That's when I take a big breath
smile, and deny death
and I stop
and then I dance
on my tip-toes
and I spin around as my whole body glows
even my clothes
Then I'll slide down head first breathing in the highs
and breathing out the lows
I always make sure to slide head first into the mist
where I am colorfully kissed
and feel 5 years old
I bang my head
of blue, green, yellow, orange and red
on a giant pot of glittering gold
where all of my hopes and colorful dreams unfold

Details | Light Poetry | |

No Your Not Civil At All


      Now let's see


                   Mixed messages sent

                                One for all

                                        Who made call ?

                                                   Unfair trades

                                                          Loved ones laid

                                                                      I'm still broke

                                                                                But won't choke


                                                                                                             Not for me


Details | Cinquain | |

Loosen Up

it's black and white
for you.  no grey region
to stand on.  think things through, or you
might crack.

Details | Ballad | |

His name is Jane S the hot dog man

His name is Jane S, that is the hot dog man, Morals or survial
Mac Nation, creation, the hot dog man, are hot dogs for
everyone, Mac Nation, creation, morals morals surivial Mac
Nation Creation Surivial Mac Nation the Hot dog man is here
Moral Jane S that is,  the Hot Dog man Mac Nation Creation

Details | Epitaph | |

Laurel And Hardy {Epitaph}

                                      American duo great humorists by far
                                      A famous act of our cinema history
                                     Hal Roach's most lucrative comedy stars
                                     Revived on our T.V's in movies or mysteries

 In Loving Memory Of
     Laurel And Hardy

Thanks Again To 
Sir Joseph Spence

Epitaph is a commemorative poem inscribed on a tombstone or mortuary 
monument written in praise of a deceased person.  Generally, epitaphs are 
small poems with rhyming lines written in reflection of the deceased person’s 
life.  They are not always somber and some are very humorous and witty.

Details | Free verse | |

Compromise on Aisle Three

I've been wondering
what's easier
Giving up?
Or giving in?
I want to do a little of
I need to weigh the cost
Want to get my moneys worth
after all.
But wait,
it seems
Giving up
and giving in
are really the same
Looks like compromise 
is on sale this week.
Too good a deal to 
pass up
if you ask me.

Details | Couplet | |


With muse in hand
How do I make one understand

I love colors of shaded green
Does not make me nasty or mean

For it's in our lakes
And even in things that we bake

It 's canvass for our trees
Even sometimes stains on our knees

There's hues of bladed grass
Where we have all plop our ass

Even passing clouds
Looking purified and aloud

So here I'll stand and raise a toast
To the color green on money who everyone loves the most

Details | Senryu | |

Ying Yang

(Ying Yang)
Stagnant was his life;
Her capricious habits grew,
His ying was her yang

Details | Couplet | |

Who Love's Ya Baby

who loves ya baby
hmmm now let me see

I know my mommy did
even though her shoes I did hid

I think my daddy did
when I didn't make him snid

brothers and sisters well maybe just a little
when I didn't get in the middle

my grandpa and grandma surely does
for I'll do anything for them just because

I know my little girl loves her momma
even better than president Obama

my dogs and cats loves me
even if they continue to make me sneeze

even my close friends new and old still spark the love
for we will alway's go on and well above

paperboy surely does
cause I tip him for keeping my paper out of bushes and shrubs

milkman used to
when I didn't make him shu

bill collectors oh yes
for I'm their baby who they love the best

so who loves me
well lets just continue to see

Tribute To Love

Also Entry For
Deborah Guzzi's 
Who Love's Ya Baby Contest

Details | Rhyme | |

My Theory of Moles

I have a theory about mole from the Mexican cuisine.
Some will make you happy, others may make you mean.

They are prepared in many different arrangements you see.
Many of certain special ingredients in a labeled degree,

Some are black, red, and green and may be others as well.
Rich in flavors, and textured ingredients, they do tell.

I have only tasted one in my life; I did not like it at all.
However, I have not discounted them, out of my culinary call.

I also feel they are like the gravies we have here in the states.
My grandmothers and now wife, made different plates.

They all taste uniquely unlike, but I enjoyed them well.
Though right now I must say, my wife’s is tastiest to tell.

Details | Limerick | |

The Ark (Limerick)

From God Noah received a great plan 
Build an Ark stay on dry land 
people stared and squawked 
some came and laughed 
Until flood sailed it like a can

Details | Senryu | |

' Can She Pick 'Em ... ' 26th Senryu

‘ Can She Pick ‘Em … ’   26th   Senryu 

Boy, Can She Pick ‘Em !
From Machiavelli-Boyfriend

Details | Couplet | |

The Value of homelessness

Just because you have no home,
Does not make you any less,
You are still apart of this human race,
Whether you live in a mansion or a mess.

It’s such a shame to see your life go down the drain,
But you still hang in there strong,
You drench in the cold rain,
While singing your hopeful song.

I sometimes think of what you would have been like before,
 I suppose no different to who you are today,
Material possessions can't make you any more,
They just get in the way.

It’s not in my hands to rescue you,
Though I wish it could be,
Remember I’m the one who is trapped,
And you are the one who is free.

At least now you know the value of a stone,
The pricelessness of a crumb,
The fear of being alone,
Facing the end, if it shall ever come.

But one day your dreams shall build your home,
Then your sleepless fearful nights will be gone,
But in the mean time you keep hanging on.

Details | I do not know? | |

to have do-be-do

"To do is to be" - Descartes 
"To be is to do" - Voltaire 
"Do be do be do" - Frank Sinatra

"To do is to be" - Nietzche
"To be is to do" - Kant
"Do be do be do" - Sinatra

"To do is to be" - Jean-Paul Sartre
"To be is to do" - Socrates
"Do be do be do" - Sinatra

Seems that existence is existential
but scattin' folderol's merely elemental
a difference of opinion well to quote
no matter, whatever floats your boat

who knows where Billy Shakespeare fits
with all his "to be or not"
who really thinks about it alot?
i mean the truth is easy to omit

Blue Eyes croons best improvise
New Year's resolutions to re-revise
have always been a tenuous tie
declared intentions, oft run awry

yet it's fitting that we promise fit
and work our workout 'til we quit
and promise to try to get outta debt
something promised every year as yet

so let it lie just as it lies
the year will tick off I'd surmise
we'll come back again to improvise
to have, to be, to do, to deny

© Goode Guy 2012-01-08

actually several forms...

Details | Monoku | |


     Sense is Sense, mind is mind but differs from creature to creature, because of nature

Details | Rhyme | |

Evolution Phooey

What caused a social convolution was Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. This did not cause much mirth. It radically changed the history of the earth. He said any homo sapiens I can see are descended from the gorilla and the monkey. Homo sapiens includes you and me. Anyone who says I come from a primate class is going to get a good swift kick in the ass.

Details | Rhyme | |

Fast Awake

Thank God for 7-27, when my son flew in
Life as it should be will forever begin
Charming little visions of how days are meant
To teach him as he shows me how life is spent

Listen to me now and read what I find so true
Words are like a beat that can start a groove
Bring the rhythm back to lift your spirits up
Don't worry too much because we all get stuck

My life seems to stop before it begins
Caught in another ever-recurring trend
Giving away every one of my previous wins
With Faith and company until my life ends

It's time now to be down again
Even faster than western winds
Life can run around, leave you in loop
Feeling that life needs one more scoop 
Tip the timer over, fall with the sand
Live for every second you possibly can

I will soon learn should luck turns up
I'm lost, backwards, and running amuck
Trying to regain what I thought I missed
Elusive, erratic and ending up like this

Never have I wanted to be other than here
Life in crystal-clear brings visions near
Capable are your dreams so easily achieved
All you have to do is work & truly believe

Look for a big picture in whatever you see
Never believe free, it offers no guarantee
Just sit back and listen to tales they tell
And make your own path but remember it well

Don't try to be so deep, just work to relax
Make life a story but include all the facts
Learn about yourself when you're at the mic
Work the crowd just to see what you're like

Life will soon be everything you need it to be
Proceed with sight don't let only destiny lead
You always have control in every step you take
Follow dreams today and always live fast awake

At times I don't know where this path would go
Like I'm hosting a show I've never seen before
Filling in the gaps, taking punches for others
Learning along the way what life really offers

It’s time now to be down again
Steps closer to an unknown end
Digging up dirt nearly burying yourself
At least the digging is good for health
Live your life now, stay until the very last
Live your life today as if it's already past

Details | Ballad | |

His name is Jane S the hot dog man

His name is Jane S, that is the hot dog man, Morals or survial
Mac Nation, creation, the hot dog man, are hot dogs for
everyone, Mac Nation, creation, morals morals surivial Mac
Nation Creation Surivial Mac Nation the Hot dog man is here
Moral Jane S that is,  the Hot Dog man Mac Nation Creation

Details | Senryu | |

Don't Wear Out Your Welcome

dandelions have
a short stay.  they adorn the
ground then blow away.

Details | Haiku | |

Old Man Winter

top of old smokey
covered with frost - when bow breaks
old man winter blows

Details | Rhyme | |

I Lost the Bet : Where's my Jet ?

I Lost the Bet : Where's my Jet ?

I went to Vegas made a bet
  takin' the cab: lost my Jet!  
Went  to settle up the score
What else is new? Lost some more!  
Nor did Blackjack go my way, 
I should have left early that day! 
I went to gamble; lost my shirt 
 Life's a shamble; now eatin'dirt     
I had a pocket full of cash      
sure was gone in a flash! 
played the craps; now eatin' scraps  
thought I was lucky, but to my surprise
  wasn't 7 or 11, it was snake eyes!  
  I'm sorry to say, I took the bet
you know how it goes;it's Russian Roulette 
I rolled the dice; I didn't think twice   
 went to Vegas lost my dreams; 
didn't stay away from the slot machines 
 Now I  pray for my shattered life;  
should have played Bingo with my wife!

McCuen Copyright October 2008

Details | Senryu | |

' Complicated ' 5th Senryu

‘ Complicated ’

Give Me Crème-Fill-Cake
Complicated Cookies Bake
Nuts, That I Can’t Take ! ...

Details | Light Poetry | |

I'm So Broke I Can't Pay Attention

Good Golly
     Miss Molly
Lord's Done
        Miracle Spun
Lost Faith
     With Wait

Got Down
  Uttered Sound

Check Arrived
      Came Alive

Uncle Sam
       You  Da Man

Tribute To The
U.S. Postal Service

Also Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's 
Believe In Miracles Contest

Details | Senryu | |

' Argumentative ... ' 25th Senryu

‘ Argumentative ’   25th   Senryu 

        Argumentative …
… Just Like Being Derisive
    Need, More Laxatives

Details | Sonnet | |

Tea Pot

I believe a tea pot circles the solar system.
And within that tea pot is my genie God.
The God that hears all our petty prayers.
The God the made the birds, bees and frogs.

My genie God spit into clay and made you
from the potter’s clay that made His tea pot.
He formed humankind, all the animals,
the plants, His light makes the sun hot.

I believe everyone should pray to my genie God.
He simply made us just like He made His pot.
He made you because He loves you and created
you. He listens to your every thought. 

And if you fail to believe in my genie God,
you will burn in Hell or live life as a frog.

Details | Cowboy | |

Life Is What You Don't Step In

Life is what you don’t step in—
It’s what you step around.
But if you’re always missin’ it,
It’s still there on the ground.

Sometimes you cannot miss it—
It goes up to your neck—
But now you know just what it is
And say “Now what the heck!”

But like cowpokes too close to fire—
We have to eat some soot.
If it ain’t all over your boots,
You’d just as well be barefoot! 

Details | Haiku | |

Crocodilian Lullaby

                                    still water beckons 

                              drink deep of my reflection 

                                  danger lurks elsewhere

Details | Free verse | |



the dancing machines
please stay away from everyone's knees
you very nasty


Please please please
stay away from especially
my knees you very nasty 
and honorable theives


so please fly off to those daisies
for these these these are the only way I want it to

{ bee's }

Little Song Jenny And I came Up When She Was 4 LOL 
Thanks All For Stopping

Also Entry For Matt Caliri's Contest
Funnest-hardest Poem Ever

Details | Rhyme | |

Time To Get Up

Tick tock tick tock
Out window with that clock
Each and every frigging day
Tells me to get out of hay

Brushing teeth
Breath smelling so sweet
Another dam hole in sock
Oh how I hate that clock

Blue jean entire
God I'm really tired
Clean sand bugers out of eyes
In rush to say goodbye's

Gas light engine on again
This crisis is such a sin
Scrounging pockets for a buck
Pulling out lint what such luck

Morning greetings from the boss
When all I wanted to do was stay in bed and toss
Paper work piling up
No coffee to fill my cup

Tic tock tick tock
Come on hurry up dam clock
For shopping still has to be done
And let me tell you it's no fun

Kids husband dogs and cats
Drive me nuts like a pack of rats
What can one do
But not to come unglued

So I want to give a big thanks
To my alarm clock that doesn't play pranks
And gets me up and out that door
So I can pay for those things I truely adore

Details | Couplet | |

Will You Let Me Sleep

Violet hues
Birds in flight coo's

Starburst fashion
Sun's hot passion

Crystal streams
Valleys of green

Sno-capped peaks
Eagles that speaks

Call of the wild
Echoes of a lost child

Can't seem to wake
From this dormate faith

Have no fear
For vision is  clear

Arrived at Heaven's shore
Was woken though by husband's dam snore


Details | Light Poetry | |

Pew Wee

Best day

   I'll Say

Was When

   Seen Him

Wipe Ass

   With Mask

I laughed

  Such Craft






I'm Done

  No  Fun

Details | Haiku | |

Time To Hit The Sack

winters foliage
blankets trees and grassy knolls
hibernation time

Details | Carpe Diem | |

Intoxication or Inspiration?

And may you be not drunk with wine
But filled with the spirit as God divined

As humans we've all have had a little drink or two
That's not a bad thing as long as you don't overdo
In Ephesians 5:18 from what I understand 
It's a word of advice from God, a positive Command
For the word of God leaves little room for debate
Take Him at His word It Is of the faith
But don't try to take the actual words that are written
And change them to suit yourself that's a bad decision
For God is very firm in what He does say
He says what He means and from His word He does not stray

Intoxication or Inspiration, what do you desire?
Be not drunk with wine just do as God requires
The Lord God wants you to be filled with the Holy Spirit
So praise and worship Him and don't stop until you get it

Whenever one is under the influence of drink
You're at a weak point and the devil will start to think
He will try and sway you away from God's Holy word
Make you doubt and question all that you have heard
For drink will incapacitate you and make you act like a fool
Enabling the devil to use you as a tool

Be not drunk with wine but be inspired by The Lord
Be filled with The Holy Spirit on the gospel train get aboard
With The Holy Spirit you still have free choice
But while you're drunk on wine you can't even find your voice

Intoxication or Inspiration, what is the main point?
You can be damned with the devil or with God be anoint
God wants you to walk like His Son Jesus of Christ
To be filled with The Holy Spirit everyday of your life
Intoxication may cause you to fight with your friends
Inspiration will give you eternal life in the end
Intoxication may cause you to spend all of your money
Inspiration will lead you to the land of milk and honey
As far as I'm concerned the choice is not that hard
All you have to do is get high on God

Details | Free verse | |

Just Thinking

Have you notice when getting a
Prescription what they always

Take one pill by mouth once
A day or etc..

Now I was just sitting here

For God sake where are you going
To put it if not in your mouth and
Swallow with water or maybe a
Little juice

Now if they give you a suppository

They tell you to put it where..?

Not to be taking orally

Now I was just thinking “Jesus 

Do the doctors think we are just
That stupid to insert a pill in

You know what I mean, hopefully
You do..

Insert a suppository down your throat

“Jesus Christmas”

I was just sitting here about to take a


Reading the bottle like always 

Just thinking..

“Jesus Christmas”


Details | Sonnet | |

Winter in the Garden

Each winter the Ladder Backed Woodpecker
taps at the barked notches of apple trees.
The leaves have fallen and frost plasters the
limbs brittle enough to break by wind or weight.

This is when the Ladder Backed attacks.
Digs its beak deep into the trunk and pries
out her secret. This is when the woodpecker
sees itself exposed, the strange chagrin,

a grownups mind, ashamed of knowledge.
This is the same season our sad aged parents
were thrown out of the garden. This is when
the thought of good and evil broke bones,

limbs fell off, birds ripped through to the core, 
and a jealous God made us stewards of the world.

Details | Free verse | |

There's No I In You And Me

Oh you do the dishes
And I'll mop the floors

Or you can do the trash
And I'll do the sewing

You can go to work
And I'll just stay home

You do the cows
And I'll do the chickens

You cook the meals
And I'll set the table

For there's no I In you and me
Can't you plainly see

So you keep the house
And I'll keep the car

You keep the kids
And I'll pay the bills

You do the shopping
And I'll  sit still

You call the cops
I'll call the lawyers

For there's no I in you and me
Can't you plainly see

You run away
I'll just Play

You made up your mind
Mine was just fine

You tossed it all away
Now I Just gotta say

For there's no I in you and me
Now don't you totaly agree

Tribute To Lasting Relationships   LOL
That Work Together To Make It Happen

Details | Lyric | |


A woman's like a cat,
coniving and keen.
One minute purring,
the next minute mean.
She'll slice open your heart,
with her sharp claws.
And as you know a woman,
she has no flaws.
So don't bother trying,
to put up a fight,
Cause no matter the man,
the woman's always right.

Details | Free verse | |

Little green men

On Saturday morning
A friend told me about this vague theory
And sedated me with his bizarre mind
And then, he said….

What are you trying to hide?
The existence of extraterrestrial 
The universe is too wide for us to live on your own
Take a look around you
Are you sure they aren’t living next to you
How can you decline such an ancient concept?
The pragmatists are refusing to believe
But science/fiction is trying to encourage it
They want you to believe
They want you to observe
Little green men, 
Flying around in their little UFO
Trying to take abductees
So don’t even trying to hide
They’ll know you’re hiding under your bed
Or locking yourself inside the closet
When it’s already your time
They’ll take you to another dimension
Uses your memories to learn about the earth
To learn how to feel, how to life like a human being
Little green men will start to breed on earth
So what are you trying to protect?
You’re trying to hide the truth
You become more heartless than the little green men
People with collars, people with money, people with power
Spreading the propaganda, establish their own conspiracy 
Using their technology for self ambitions
Construct their own experiment over living things 
Little green men,
Flying around in their little UFO
Observing the conspiracy of some dirty rats
Next aims will be them
They’ll catch them and lock them 
Swirling their brains, explore their inhuman emotion
Little green men
The belief of the unbelievable

All I can do is to look into his face
Listening to every word he said
And trying to process the things I’ve just heard
And said….”What the hell is going on with you?”

Details | I do not know? | |

What Would You Do?

What would you do if you won one million dollars
I would jump up and down, scream and holler
I would buy the biggest most beautiful house
I would open up a big fat bank account
I would buy all new clothes
And I would donate all the old
I would travel, I’ll be world wide
I’ll explore the east, then the other side
I would buy myself a car or two
Working is something I won’t have to do
I would sleep in late and drink Merlot
Early afternoon I take Tybo
I’ll sit in the Jacuzzi and go to the spa
But not in America, I’ll be in Aruba.
What if you woke up and found out it was all just a dream
And you realize you can’t get any of these things
That dream just seemed so real
All that money I could feel
It always happens just like that,
I’m rich when I’m asleep but not when I wake up.

Details | Couplet | |

Grandma's Rhyme Regarding Money

If it don’t make dollars, it don’t make sense,
Because ain’t nothing going on but the rent.

Details | Blank verse | |

Apples and Oranges

Apples and oranges,
Who would have thought that such unimportant things,
Can stir such a controversy,
Who know people are willing to argue over such simple things,
Well me of course, but I do not count,
I am the the one who says the sky is purple, or green depending on my mood,
That no one catches on makes me smile.
but people get into such arguements on their own with no prodding,
So I see my little deception has no significant diffrence except maybe to make 
people think,
Thinking is good,
but so few actually do it,
Spitting out drivel just because it was spoken before,
A long lost talent that sjould be ressurected and brought to the light.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Got Turkey

    Let's See


               Get Stuffed
                    That's Rough

                               The Squirts

                                         Hell Zone
                                                Pure Heart
                                                      Boiled Tart

                                                          Legs   Breast
                                                                Just   Test
                                                                    Thighs Wing
                                                                          Just Sing
                                                                                   Choke Neck
                                                                                          Yes Heck
                                                                                                 Got Tom
                                                                                                      He's Bomb

Tribute To
 And To

Also Entry For
Donna Golden's
Turkey Tribute
GL All

Details | Narrative | |

Freelance Contractor

Freelance contractor

I’ve been a ghost for centuries.
Qualified by experience.
No diplomas or degrees
 but plenty of self confidence.

  Although I died quite suddenly.
Beheading does not take too long
I just accepted readily
the choice of sides I made was wrong.

I lived my life as best I could
 like other men I made mistakes.
 And did not do the things I should
 One wrong decision all it takes.

 Although a failure as a man.
 I am a most successful ghost
 I do the very best I can
 Although I am not one to boast.

I take a pride in what I do
 I can appear and disappear
(I’m one of the accomplished few)
 to fill a humans heart with fear.

I’ve haunted stately homes with pride
I’ve walked abroad without my head
Through solid walls I quickly glide
 I am enjoying being dead.

Alive I earned but small respect
 in fact nobody noticed me.
But now in my ghostly aspect.
 I’m treated most respectfully. 

 Some day I know I must move on
 but I can feel no urgency.
Although my dearest friends have gone.
 A ghost is all I want to be.

I’ve been a ghost for centuries.
I find it suits me very well.
I do exactly as I please
The skills I have I freely sell.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Awful Marriage

Why get stuck in an awful marriage forever more.
Never again will you be able to soar.
Only one,
You will be able to adore.
Only you won’t adore,
But you will regret forever more.
Between freedom you’ll be torn.
In a marriage I’ll never be scorn.
It’s a curse forever worn.
I fell sorry for the ones this disease hath born.

Details | Free verse | |

No God

If I could spill my soul
onto the floor or a skillet
let my heartbeat liquid 
and spell out a creation song

I would yell, yell, yelp!
Yelp, about my unfolding self
and just how magnificent
I have become because Jesus

Christ, Krishna, Muhammad,
told me something beautiful
and that fragile bubble
which protected me, myself

burst into reality and me
just I may not my self and I
crumble to the science
of no God without proof.


Dean Walker

Details | Blank verse | |

Finding Jesus

I found Jesus in a cereal box,
flakes tumbled inconsistently,
pauses between each one,
and in one such pause fell

Shrink-wrapped, sermonising,
prayer-clasped hands,
and bright haloed.

Sadly, I traded him
for he had less hit points
than Pikachu.

When all you receive
are scraps from the
table of life,
finding Jesus is no big deal,
when more hit points
are your real salvation…


Details | Free verse | |

who cares?

Who cares if i don't stand for something, inebriation takes all sides in modesty
Who cares? If i don't believe in political parties, red whites and blue makes me look fat
Who cares if I'm not straight, less tease with the same ha ha!
And I don't man to be mean but I noticed something... Whores who knocked down prices
Your already selling it, why make it a discount
Who cares about religion, it's just for people that COULDN'T FIND THEIR OWN BALLS, SO THEY
And i break bread from wine lips passed on to palm hands on Sunday
Who cares about this poem, written by a drunken girl paraded as a boy... PSYCHE!
Who cares about this world, even as it spins, it will stop to utter disappointment

Details | Rhyme | |

Wake Up, Sleepy Head!

Wake up, sleepy head, arise and leave the bed,
stand up and be counted, for long you tarried;
the world waits, go out and just leave your fear,
liberation is near, you can feel it in the air.

You spent all your waking moments wondering
why along the path of life you keep on falling;
hey, do you not see the writing on the wall?
there’s no rising up if there’s no falling at all.

It does not matter how many times you crumble,
there is no need to fear the strife and the trouble;
give it your best shot, go out and wage your fight,
it is time to do what is true and what is right.

If you do not want to go crazy, just be like me -
yes,  I choose to be happy than being lonely;
do not be so serious lest you might drop dead,
never let problems get inside your silly head!

Details | Free verse | |

My Poetry

When I am overcome
With emotions and
I feel like I am on  
The edge of insanity 
I take out my poetic
Pen to release the
Torment that I have
Bottled up inside of me 
Leaving my despair on
The paper with which
I write my poetic prose

If my eyes are crying
Tears of sadness  
My Poetic pen 
Allows me to share
My pain through the
Literary expression
Of my melancholic
Outlook that is
Clouding up my mind

If I have suffered  
A bitter betrayal
Causing my heart to
Become engulfed with 
A volatile, explosive rage
I acquire my revenge
Through the exposure
Of the wicked deeds
That have been 
Inflicted upon me
For no one can
Escape my poetic prose

If you dare to cross me
Unleashing my wrath 
Your sins will be cemented
Forever in time because
Through my poison pen
I will immortalize the
Memory of your
Treacherous actions
For poetry lovers
To read about for
Centuries to come
Until the day that
The earth fades away
My poems will be there
To speak the truth
About your decrepit soul

Though some hold the
Belief that it is justice
To take up your sword
Fighting in battle against
The ones that have brought
Pain and angst to your life
My weapon of choice is
My poetic pen because after
The deadly wars have expired
My poems will still remain living
Eternally to be discovered 
By the next new reader of the
Poems that I have left behind


Details | Haiku | |

A boy watches me,
Then runs Frightened to mother,
Am i so very ugly?

Details | Blank verse | |


Okay, Okay, enough with this, I am sick and tired of hearing all this depression. It 
is time to cheer up. Strike up the band. We are going to sing a song, (crickets 
chirp). What is with you people. Is there no joy to be found in any of your souls. 
Now come on and play a game with me, I spy (more crickets). Okay fine wallow 
in your self pity. I am going someplace else.

Details | I do not know? | |

Happy Place

do you know the feeling i feel?
that feeling you feel when you feel a feeling you felt before?
that yummy feeling of a delightful memory you will forever charish
that memory that has you smiling and giggling?
a crisp feeling in your belly of happiness?
i feel as if i should let you know im feeling this way 
because its important you feel that very same way
its a feeling you must feel everyday
or else it will just fade away!
like a red kite, flying away, 
a very tragic tale..
but you must keep the kite near the warm ground
keep it close and tight and loved.
lets feel this feeling now, 
so remember a day where nothing was in the way
not a care, not a worry and deffinatly not a quarelle 
feel the breeze, maybe not of wind
but of greatness in you.
feel it for just a moment and return to the world
give it a smile and walk on by.

Details | Rhyme | |

You're A Winner

If I could win I would fly,
Across the big wide open sky,
And laugh at those who didn't try,
To get published in a great big book.

Oh how I desperately long to see,
My name in a huge Anthology,
With others just as naive as me,
I can't wait to take a look.

So I'll take a moment after I rest,
To pen some lines for your contest,
And swear on my heart they are the best,
While on the stove my potatoes cook.

So as soon as you can, send the letter,
That tells me my poetry is so much better, 
And I'll dance free and totally unfettered,
While you think I've taken the hook!

Details | Prose Poetry | |

The Careful Dissemination of Funds

I hear their idle chatter and wish that sound was optional.
A box checked in a menu, a simple click and forget.

The rapid dilation of my pupils brings me back.
Back to hypnotic aisles of temptation and necessity. A selection of the finest they say.

Right there see, on the cardboard, next to charts and columns of calories and strange
numbers I’d sooner forget.
But buy one get one free still gets me every time.

I stare intently at the dancing numbers until the man with the tie moves away.

Glossy pages shine brighter than the fruit racks they mirror,
Competing for importance in my wallet and my life

The magpie wins and the bananas will wait.

Half the magazines hawk five a day in rounded sans serif, bold against the background of a
chef’s haircut.

Maxims of bizarre cosmopolitan playboys and hustlers marked up at 3.99. Landscapes of
polished flesh glow beneath the loving airbrush of the paycheck. Competing for nuts at the
A vanity fair for the hollow, shining in the fading light of a red top sunset.
Paraphrased blogs and condensed morsels of crude celebrity nudes for the I-Generation and
the remnants of New Labour and Thatcher’s Britain.

Anglers, caravans and 50 cent, half the demographic, half the price. Count me out.
I finger a few and find no real desire. The Internet offers this bilge up for free. 
They’d all be nude and crapping on each other.
The great silicon toilet of humanity

Past freezers of long dead prisoners, pulped to perfection. Pigs in tubes and flat cow
Pancakes of vomit and fish dishes I won’t ever try. No time for it.
Frankenstein's monster behind glass slides.
Packets of sugar in various disguises. Cereal and chocolate, soft drinks and sauce dips.

Lattes and ladles, loofahs and loaves. The prattle returns through the shelving
I turn around the curries and there is the tie. Talking sport and hard drinking, women and
the weather. Looks me in the eye.

I turn before any interaction and feign interest in something, a scouring pad. Intricately
woven metal coils waste major concentration and he’s gone. Box checked, minimize and move on.

Everything shines in this weird three-quarter light, hypnotic. Confusing. Conscious of the
bottles ahead that I can’t ever touch. Seedy and appealing, puerile and appalling.
Something for everyone. 

And nothing for me.

Details | Senryu | |

' What Is Your Problem ?' 16th Senryu

‘ What Is Your Problem ? ’   16th Senryu

         What is Your Problem ?
 To Solve Them… Now, Get A Clue ! …
     … Your Problem … Is You !

Details | Free verse | |

It's A Fact Of Life But Take Care

there might be someone
better and brighter than you,
but don't despair.  laugh
or cry, but make sure  you have
lots of dental floss and tissue.

Details | I do not know? | |

Prayer to the Porcelain God

Short footed god of porcelain and white,
I ask your help to get me through the night,
I come to you again in agony and despair,
With whiskey on my breath,
And peanut shells in my hair.
My head is pounding,
The room is spinning,
The total reversal of the contents of my stomach,
Unfortunately is beginning.
I can walk no further,
 I can drink no longer,
My shear stupidity,
 I sit in the floor and ponder,
I didn’t come here for self-degradation,
I had no intention to give common sense the boot,
But responsibility and moderation,
Unfortunately are not my strong suits.
I hang my head in reverence,
I assume the position,
My gift to you will soon commence,
Through your crown of my own fruition.
Save me from myself,
Save my life from going south,
Save me from witnessing,
My shoes come out of my mouth.
But, if I must give back,
All that I have taken in,
Help me make it to tomorrow,
So that I may be forgiven,
For my depravity and sin.
If you’ll just do that for me,
I swear I’ll never drink again,
It’s a real waste to go out every weekend,
And never remember any of the things I’ve done,
Or the places I’ve been. 
I know that talk is few and far between,
But I don’t want the bad me to be,
All that anyone can remember being seen.
Please except my prayer to you this day,
As I pull the lever and wash this night away,
I’ll make good on my promise, 
Thanks for listening to my praying,
And I won’t be back again tomorrow,
Of course, that’s what I’ve always been saying.

Details | I do not know? | |

What Life is All About

I can tell you that life consists of rush and wait.  
That’s all there is to it, nothing profound, don’t look for meaning.
Our parents wait wait wait for us to be born.
Then it’s rush rush rush to keep up with the other kiddies.  
We wait wait wait and rush rush rush all our lives, alone and with others.
We wait wait wait to be enrolled in school.
We rush rush rush through grade after grade,
And going to the bathroom, to the movies, on trips,
And I could write a book on going to hospitals and doctors!  
We wait wait wait to get a date.
We rush rush rush to fall in and out of love.
We rush rush rush rush rush to turn into grownups!
We wait wait wait to have a vacation and fun
Only to rush rush rush so we can prepare for the next school term.
When we grow up, the wait wait wait continues.
We wait wait wait to find out how we did on that tricky job interview.
If we get hired, we wait wait wait to be approved by our supervisor.
If we don’t get hired, we wait wait wait in long employment lines.  
If we’re good at our jobs, we rush rush rush to get promotions.
If we’re mediocre on our jobs, we rush rush rush to shape up.  
The more successful we are, the more we rush rush rush and wait wait wait,
Attending seminars, catching planes, trying to meet deadlines.  
The less successful we are, the more we rush rush rush and wait wait wait,
Applying for more loans we can’t pay off,  tackling more jobs we can’t handle.  
Sometimes it’s rush rush rush to marry, wait wait wait to be divorced.  
Everyone knows traffic and phones are totally wait wait wait and rush rush rush.
In having our children, depending on circumstances,
We either rush rush rush or wait wait wait. 
Then we go through the same routine with them that our parents did with us:
Wait and rush, rush and wait -- that’s what life is all about, believe me.

Details | ABC | |


Over at the capital the master makes his plans
while the cronies at the mansion put money in his hands.
  Me I'm standing over here having me a fit
  everywhere I go I got no place to sit.
So I steady look around there's nothing else to do
to me it's so ridiculous nothing else seems true.
  It's all about diversion to hide what's going down
  the whole world is dysfunctional and we're a bunch of clowns.
The bible thumping preacher says it's the dark ones evil ways
and if we do it like he says we'll see a better day.
  Why is it there's a service charge am I looking at a play
  if I don't have the price it cost do I have to go away?
The blacks all stick together, Hispanic people too
the whites all act like they don't care there's nothing they can do.
  If I cut you with my knife what do you think I'll see
  I'll be damned if it ain't blood just the same as me.
Is that Mr. Jenkins the neighbor down the street
look at that he works so hard he can barely lift his feet.
  Look at over there that's the son of Mr.Chin
  it's twelve o: clock at night they're asking where he's been.
It seems we all need people, it seems to be the way
but there's so many of us we can't get away.
  Over population is it simple as all that
  or is it all a nightmare underneath our hat.
The puppeteer is crouching staying out of sight
with his fingers up his puppets ass with his voice he can recite.
  Does it really have to be this way is there nothing we can do
  I know my ass is hurting hows yours feel to you?

Details | Cowboy | |

A Cowboy's Toilet

There’s been a lot of speculatin’
‘Bout the cologne some cowboys wear,
And the toothpaste and the sweet mouthwash
And the way he combs his long hair!

I’s here to clear up the confusion
‘Bout these gallant ol’ equine gents—
And tell ya the gall dern ol’ stark truth,
That will make fer good cowboy sense.

Cowboy toothpaste is black gunpowder
And his mouthwash is rye whiskey—
But we’ll never know ‘bout his cologne
‘Cause getting’ close is too risky!

And if on the subject of hygiene,
He remains silent as a sphinx—
Ya better chaw ya some strong garlic
To cover up the fact he stinks!

Don’t git me wrong on my conclusion,
When some ol’ cowboy smells like rot—
‘Cause others take a bath once a month,
Whether they dern needs it or not!

Details | Rhyme | |

A Piece of Paper

A piece of paper on which you write
A piece of paper weighs so light

              A piece of paper is used to wipe
              A piece of paper is used to type

         A piece of paper is used for buying
         A piece of paper is used for living

                   A piece of paper takes you to miles
                   A piece of paper brings you smiles

 A piece of paper makes a relationship
 A piece of paper breaks a relationship

A piece of paper guides you
A piece of paper prides you 

Details | Rhyme | |

I Don't Care

I don’t care if I’m all alone.
I don’t care if I don’t get a ring on my finger,
Or one on my phone.
I don’t care about how much money you got.
I don’t care if they call you Sir- Floss-A- Lot.
I don’t care if no one tells me how beautiful I am.
I don’t care I literally just don’t give a darn.

I don’t care if you talk about me.
I don’t care if I pass by you and you don’t speak.
I don’t care if you think I’m fat.
I don’t care if you think I’m an invalid.
I don’t care if someone comes,
And changes my name from Miss to Mrs.

Who cares?
I don’t!
Who will?
I won’t!

I don’t care if you call me a witch.
I don’t care because, 
I and my eyes don’t have time 
For all of the silliness.
I don’t care for all the mess.
I don’t care about what you’re doing
I only care about doing my best.

Details | Senryu | |

Smell The Roses

You may miss your bus
If you stop to smell the roses
But it is worth It

Details | Light Poetry | |

He Said She Said { Footle }

her lips                             his eyes
    just flips                                tells lies

      her nose                            his ears
            just glows                           snipped spears

          cheekbones                              his chin
                   like stones                              looks grim

                 eyebrows                                lashes
                          just wow                              flashes

Details | ABC | |

More ABC's

An amusing attempt at alphabet
babble:  Beginning by
caramel croonings coming
delightfully down drains
ejecting embryonic
flatulent foolishness.

Grandiose gobbledygook
hatched hastily
into idioms indicating
just junk.

Keening karmic
language languidly liberated
matching mainly myopic magpies
nattering narcissistically.

Opine on, oh onerous one !!
Perhaps provoking philosophic
quoted quirky questions
resembling recent ramblings
spewed sporadically
to taunt Tiny Tim.

Unbelievable !!
Veritable vapidity
working well-worn Webster

Details | Personification | |


Who are we to say that “when a tree falls in the forest some day does it make a 
sound especially if no one is around?”

Only one thing is for certain that is to be as long as no one got hurt, or it did not 
cause damage to any property “who cares”

These things and sayings are what it is to be, and only the lessons learned are 
what they are to me

And for One final not any tree that falls in a forest with no one around makes one 
simple sound “ THUD “ You learnt that one from me 


Details | I do not know? | |


Funny is the only way I can describe it
The way I find myself as I sit
The way I run in circles and yet keep on going
The way my dream slips away and fears start growing
Keeping my mind as sharp as a steel knife
While finding the balance in this life 

I know that life is short and I will end up dead
But I know that there is much more ahead
But isn’t it funny how this tiny world turns
How the old forgets what the young learns
How the good guys never seem to win
How money causes people to live by sin

I often worry about what people think about me
I also worry about what the people see
I worry about my job and about school
I even sometimes worry about looking like a fool
I find it funny that worrying is all I do
As I try to find a way to my dream, which I pursue  

Funny how I spend most of my time thinking about love
I have a lot from my family and even a bit from above
I share a lot with many different friends as well
Yet my heart is always locked in a prison cell
I wonder why it’s that type of love I can’t find
Isn’t it funny that I’m the guy that gets left behind 

Details | Free verse | |

Wrong Planet

I seem to be on the wrong planet
Not 100% sure how or why
I'm telling you this truely
You know I would not lie
I left my spaceship briefly
And soon began to cry

What kind of planet lets bullets wiz about
People dying for their God
If that's what their God wants
I'd rather pray to sod

I crane my neck, I scratch my head
I look to find some reason
Perhaps on this planet so alien
It's people hunting season

I guess I'll have to chalk this site out
No intelligent life I see
No one on my world, I trust
Would ever believe me

I think I'll snatch a sample,
Of this race so wild
O'sama is my choice
So typical a child

Gods that demand murder
Are unkown on my home
And if it takes 10,000 years
I know that I must roam
To find the answer to this puzzle
And hopefully end this poem

I've seen slug-creatures with more morals
I've seen craters on many a moon
But if I ever come back here
I swear it'd be too soon.

Details | Lyric | |

Soda Pop Emotions

Can’t help going insane crazy here,

Won’t hear my name is biggest fear.

If I don’t, might could explode,

Be just small part, if I unload.

Like a bottle, all shook up,

Won’t make it to, a glass or cup.

Will only pop out, a huge mess,

Then what to do, start over, I guess?

Details | Free verse | |












Details | Etheree | |

Theres Something About H2O { Double Etheree}

                                                         About our
                                                    drinking and our
                                   shower water in this country of ours
                                    And that is that it just plainly and does
                                                       Really suck  all
                                                         The frigging
                                                                Time          {LOL}

Time For Better H20
    In this country

Details | I do not know? | |


relish, oh relish
scream over your scream
feel ever more deeply
become the great dream
breath ever more deeply
climb ever more steeply
start drowsing- so sleepy
is nothing as seems?
feel, oh feel 
such is grasping and tearing
clawing and gnawing
so harsh and apalling
fighting and brawling
teeth clinched tight and snarling
touching and running
pushing and stunning
crawling with cunning
all in fun we agree

Details | Rhyme | |

Is it necessary?

Do you need a handshake to greet?
No it is not necessary
Do you need a place to meet?
No it is not necessary
Do you need to talk to crave?
No it is not necessary
Do you need a reason to love?
No it is not necessary
Do you need to show what you mean?
No it is not necessary
Do you need a bath to get clean?
No it is not necessary
Do you need wealth to be happy?
No it is not necessary
Do you need a smile to be zippy?
No it is not necessary
Do you need to pluck the flower to feel its beauty?
No it is not necessary
Do you need to do your duty?
Yes it is necessary. 

Details | Rhyme | |

Get Out!

Get out!
Don’t come back!
It was over when we started.
You don’t want me!
Let the door hit you,
Where the good Lord split you!
Hit the road Jack,
And don’t you come back!
I don’t care if you sleep
In a car, cardboard box, or a shack.
Get out!
You sorry sucker! 
I want a better lover.
Get the hell out!

wrote 11-20-09

Details | Burlesque | |


Rich people can afford to live lavishly,
squandenring money like it werent a commodity;
ordinary folks must make ends meet,
even worrying about the food they eat!

Wealth moguls like Trump or Gates
can purchase the Empire State Building,
and see their names in the Entrepreneur or Money magazine...
while we dispute those outrageous credit card rates!
Since Caesar imposed taxes on the Roman Empire,
freedom to spend,at will, has been reduced by desire;
now Uncle Sam is the new emperor demanding his tribute,
woe to us if we declared ourselves immune!  

Republicans and Democrats are divided on one issue:
the Iraq's war on terrorism and its credibility not so true;
while Bush's voice echoes throughout the White House' walls..
a President's courage shown in formidable ways!

The music and art world are giving in frivolity,
creating works that are insignificant and full of obscenity;
can the Human Race excel as it did yesterday...
who will step forward and stop all this insanity?

Living lavishly is only shared by the lucky ones 
who are defined by abundance and inheritance,
but living sparingly is based on sacrifice and endurance...  
learning those thrifty tactics and live within limits!

Details | I do not know? | |

Word Vomit

Some people in life suffer from an affliction,
Imaginary highbrows with an oratorical addiction,
These people seem healthy at first, the sickness under control,
But then the silence is broken as they begin to speak,
And this grammatical illness starts to take its toll,
Tempers are lost and stomachs become weak,
As heads start to pound and eyes begin to roll.  

I’ve been there he says, I’ve done that,
I can do that faster than you,
I’ve lived and learned far beyond my years,
Of course what I am saying is true!
I am a big thinker. I am what they call legit,
No I don’t know what non compus mentus is,
And I really don’t care if you think I have too much of it.

I am impressed with myself, Why am I not yet insane?
Since being around an opinion such as yours IN FACT,
Has caused MY train of thought to jump the track.
This conversation has definitely turned south,
Silence is the right thing to do,
Please be quiet! Close your mouth!
You’re getting your opinion all over my shoe.

Details | Lyric | |

Insanity By Definition

FOR : Albert Einstein

Insanity:  Doing the same thing over & over again expecting a different result.

I’m writing something all the time,

Most the times, can’t help but rhyme.

There is nothing else I want to do,

Keeps me calm,  relax's me too.

I write things down, in my sleep,

Wake right up, 4 memory wont keep.

So when U read this from my book,

U’ll know I’m crazy, with just one look.

Cuz just like Albert Einstein said,

I’m insane crazy, in my head.

Details | I do not know? | |

Heavenly Louche

As the essenes of 
Eden play lovely
quartets, a brief
interlude o' mine.

Oh. . . boisterous meadows
of entrancing enthralls
so fine.

As angels hearken
the harmonies of
our precious St. Uriel,

The whimsy's of 
bitter attempts 
for lovely laughing 
girls, made bitter

Oh, the Louche,
the heavenly Louche.

Its embrace 
of vigorous 
with little excuse.

So sorry,
so sorry,
here we are
oh mighty Zeus.

Falling from grace,
as pale a ghost
as the infinite

Oh!  The Louche,
the heavenly Louche.

Keeper of secrets,
ours and yours,
together we're found. . .

frequenting ,
the inviting,
narcotics lounge.

A testimony of 
love, why the essence
of St. Gabrielle,
you are,

you are.

As St. Uriel played
a ballad so fine,
I found myself
begging for more 

The Louche,
the heavenly Louche.

Details | I do not know? | |

Taxing Sin

A tax for beer,
a tax for smokes;
So why not tax
sex and dope?

We need the money-
that’s not in doubt,
so tax that hooker
when she puts out!

And tax the dealer
who sells the drugs
to stupid kids
and slimy thugs!

While we’re at it,
let’s  regulate
disease and purity
in every  state

Let  users know
how pure’s the pot;
Inform the johns
of what she’s got

Tax the sales
and income too;
With all that cash
what could we do?

We could feed the hungry
and clothe the poor,
all on the backs
of dealers and whores...

Details | Free verse | |

Punk Boy of All Times

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Boys and girls,
Everyone else in the world wide world,
Spread it across the universe,
I’m proud to announce to you,
The punk boy of all times.
Yes, he’s a distasteful, disgrace of all mankind.
He’s not his, hers, and for darn sure not mine.

He dropped me more than a few lame lines,
And in time in love with him I fell.
Then, he started to show his true colors.
Yes, that ninja gave me pure hell.
He loves no one, not even himself.
This trifling ninja uses his genitals for wealth.
He’s bad for my and his own health,
A bad hand of cards in his life is about to be dealt.

Well today of all days,
I truly say that I announce to the universe,
A true curse.
He’s not his, hers, and for darn sure not mine.
Rodney D. Mack ,
The punk boy of all times.

wrote 2-20-10

Details | Senryu | |

To The Punch

if pain is supposed
to hurt you, what do you call
it if it helps you?

Details | Prose Poetry | |

Two Important Things Never to Forget

Each day we face many mental perils, have to make many important decisions, 
like what color socks to wear.  Some things must take priority, however, and it's 
important to keep them in mind.  The first is to be comfortable with yourself; you 
may not be perfect, but, darn, who is?  Be happy with yourself if you can truely say 
I did not intentionally hurt anyone today.  There's more than enough bad people 
out there to do that for you.  So pat yourself on the back for a day of sainthood!
The second thing is....uh...the second thing, I don't remember!

Details | Rhyme | |

The 100th Monkey

Philosopher Carl Yung
had a theory...

Every hundredth monkey
would come up with a 
new idea which all the
other monkeys adapted
for the development of

the group's collective...

Details | I do not know? | |


Rumors are known to cut like knives
Start fights and end lives
All becauce a hater despises
What they've seen through their beedy eyes
Foulness covered by flies
Unknown demise
A demons chest game played with real lives
He said, she said, with a little bit of what you've said
Leaves some one dead
All from words that got in to some body head
Rising situations like to much yeast in a small batch of bread
Scared of the out come so you flee in your mind
Revisit the drama another time
Things don't change
Words still inflecting pain like magic BING! BAM! BANG!
Another rumor rapes a name
Heated like hells flames
Jealousy indures creating a killer like the first murderer Kane
Names lay slain
Slandered by the foulist of mouths
Skeletons pulled from the closet to be placed in piles
Brains began to crowd
Smiles now frowns
Ups now downs
Like tears from a clown
Emotions burst out
People lash out against the innocent
Whom have nothing to do with it
The hater wins again

Details | Sonnet | |

Catch 22

Well, there is a loophole right there.
And by golly gee there’s one here.
Easy to step into those cracks,
Losing balance and be all out of whack.

Step by step and baby ones at that,
Tiptoeing and being mighty slow.
But I bet you have all come to know,
A catch 22 has a knack.

Nothing is glued,
Too many corner stones,
How lewd!
Fragile are my bones.

Peeping through,
Seeing route 44’s for those catch 22’s.

®Registered: Ann Rich   2005

Details | Rhyme | |

A Woman's Heart

Ah the woman’s heart, 
As gentle as the coolest breeze,
In the heat of a summers day .
Not to be taken too lightly, 
You might get swept away.
Be careful of the brewing storm, 
It only comes ever so often, 
This is when she has been scorned,
And her world has lost all motion.
Treat her with respect and courtesy,
If you value the love that’s yours,
It will be given back amply 
As the sun shines again outdoors.
The storm will have passed quickly,
Things back to normal again,
She will be calling you her sweetie,
You will be thinking AMEN.

If you fill a bucket with salty water, no matter how far you walk, it will still be salty.

Details | Rhyme | |

The Old and Unsightly

I am aware
of the Youth that has faded
But Smiles all around
will not make me feel jaded
An ancient Bluto displaying 
first signs of flab
Age to stay
So why should I be an old-time crab?
Fast food to indulge
Having lost the battle of the bulge
My LINES are a sight to see
peer across and fear it NATURALLY
Today for the young
Our time departed
Listen to the children
This generation becoming OLD HEARTED
The end is near
Our beginning becoming clear

For them
The YOUTH and the MIGHTY
As for ourselves:

Details | Free verse | |

The Lock

Lock protects your belongings

Waits till you open it

Always in a fixed position

Never looses the patience 

Does the job selflessly 

Never bothers to runaway 

When any danger comes on its way

It performs its duty until it is broken

Such a dedicated and sincere a lock is

It waits for you for hours, for days

The perfection of its duty can never be compared to anything  

Details | Burlesque | |

You Say You're Gay

So you declare you're gay,
At first I knew not what to say...
Than I saw it clearly,
The wisdom that you had,
Far better to be gay,
Than so God darn awful sad.

Details | Senryu | |

Thoughts Of Schadenfreude

you can curb your poor
actions and always bite your
cheek before you laugh.

Details | Cowboy | |

Big Smalley

It was back in '89 when I worked the Rockin' B,
That they hired a large cowpuncher that we called Big Smalley.
I reckon that ol' cowboy musta went 'bout six foot nine--
And to our suprise was the mildest waddie you could find.
It warn't he never got mad--it jest took a good long while--
After he wupped a cowboy or two, he'd have a great big smile.

But he had strange habits and his thinkin' was right off beat--
Yet the one thing we had in common--he sure did like to eat.
Big Smalley was so huge that horses groaned when he got on--
He weighted 350 and that didn't make cookie too fond
Of tryin' to cook enough to keep him and eight cowpokes fed,
After days of drivin' cows through valleys and watersheds.

Then Big Smalley he done went and surprised us all agin,
When one night he told us that he was a vegetarian.
Well, we told him his religion was between him and God--
Then that ol' puncher got mad as a wild cow on the prod.
He called us ignorant ol' cowboys that didn't know dirt--
That's when us eight waddies done put 'em to the hurt.

I gotta give it to Smalley, he put up one heck of a fight--
But with eight ol' raw-bone cowpunchers it was soon goodnight.
Well, Big Smalley didn't have much to say come the break of day--
He jest sort of grunted at chuck and pushed the bacon away.
After a few weeks, Smalley hired on with another crew--
But he didn't get the joke, now he's ridin' fer the Bar B-Q!

Details | Free verse | |

Full of It

“Why, thank you.” I would respond,
For what it is,
What is it?
It’s what life is comprised of,
I’m full of it,
Full of myself,
My stunning, intelligent, creative, 
Cocky in words and thoughts,
I know I am full of it.

Details | Rhyme | |

Gourmet's Opinion

In any argumentation,
  none is as unanswerable
    as every diner's opinion;

you gush about that chilled champagne,
  to my uninitiated taste buds
    it's but some bottled, sugared rain;

and you adore sturgeon caviar,
  to my naive, unschooled palate,
    a salty lump of clay with tar;

no debate in the agendum,
  in matters of taste there's no dispute,
    de gustibus non disputandum!

Details | Burlesque | |

Poetic Pestilence / or, I Hate Bugs!!!

I'm sitting at a desk,
no longer mine,
in a house that is no more,
before me, a glass of wine,
and a book I've seen before

a journal, forty years old,
my wisdom then, was somehow
seemingly far greater and visionary,
than what I have just now...

there's termites in my floorboards,
there's termites in my mind
I need a good exterminator,
to save me from their kind....

a package deal he offers,
including soup to nuts,
I told him very firmly,
I am a poetry soup nutty putz....

you put a cockroach in my home,
you'll see me burn it down...
I hate bugs so very much,
the mere thought brings me a frown

give me mice, if you have to,
give me termites if you must,'
but put a cockroach in my home,
I'll soon enough turn it into dust

ticks should only infest clocks,
fleas for a political refugee,
bed bugs only for a mattress store,
and ants to keep uncles company
I'm afraid then to follow this logic,
and think of what cockroachs
intend for their encroaches

just the thought of this subject,
the disgusting world of bugs,
makes me awful nauseous,
with lots and lots of "Ughs"!!!

Details | I do not know? | |

What you've given me (2000)

From the moment our eyes met 
My first breath was taken,
The rest of the world was a threat,
But I had forsaken.

That day on, my life had taken a flight,
Life became worth living and you filled it with light.
Childish and foolish it may seem
But I was living my dream

Now I love you more that love it self,
Just the word 'love is meaningless like unread books on a shelf.
With out you a day turns into a year,
Without you every second turns into a tear.

With out sun, light and rain a flower cannot grow,
With out words one cannot read,
Without your love there is nothing else I know
With out your smile I will bleed.

I'll never be apart from you as we are both one,
I was scared that my life would never be healed,
But now my heartaches have all gone,
And all the pain and misery have been sealed.

For Naj

Details | Tail-rhyme | |

Piece of Cake

When teacher asked what exasperation meant,
    I thought that was  so easy, a piece of cake,
        but that was a presumptuous mistake;

I'm still unconvinced and quite dissatisfied
   after looking it up in thick dictionaries
       for the sense it's supposed to make;

I found out lately it's simply how you'd feel
   when you want to swat a fly in exchange
      for something too difficult to take;

the sly fly won't budge for it's happily perched
   upon a red, luscious cherry right there
      at the center of your birthday cake !

Details | Free verse | |


Some people are wealthy
Some people are healthy

Some people are sick
Some people are fit

Some people are nice 
Some people are wise

Some people are efficient
Some people are intelligent

Some people are loyal
Some people are social

Some people are busy
Some people are lazy

Some people are worthy 
Some people are sturdy

Some people are seekers
Some people are speakers

Some people are frantic
Some people are romantic

Some people are stylish
Some people are childish

Some people are pious
Some people are studious

Some people are capable 
Some people are lovable

Some people are moody 
Some people are steady

Some people are cheerful
Some people are careful

Although people are of different types
They all have equal rights.

Details | Rhyme | |

Excuses For Not Writing

We make them right and left,
These things that hold us tight—
“I just don’t have the time
To sit and really write.”

It seems we’re too busy
To get around to it—
We have to make ourselves
Relax and just do it!

“I have to feel the muse
To write a good poem”—
That’s all a bunch of bunk—
It takes one to know ‘em.

Seems we’re all too busy
And fill our lives with fluff—
To write, you’ve got to write!
I think I’ve said enough!

You have the time to smoke
Or time to watch TV—
So find the time to write
And set your true self free!  

Make no more excuses
For never having time—
Words are a legacy—
Blank pages are a crime.

Words are writ on water,
Into black space are hurled—
Someone will remember
That we once touched this world.

Details | Cowboy | |

Heck, I Ain't No Cowboy

I’ve been known to buck a bale or two in my day
And I’ve loved a gal or a few and rode away.

I’ve dug up taters for just a dollar a day—
I’ve clerked in stores and let the boss man have his say.

There’s few ‘round here that ain’t had me in their employ—
But like I’ve always said: “Heck, I ain’t no cowboy!”

They say soldiers is heroes – I gave it a try—
I lost use of an arm and saw too many die.

But I ain’t no whiner and I never did quit—
I’m big and raw-boned and I don’t care one darned bit

What others may think on the range or back in town—
I’m just a simple ol’ soul that ain’t too profound.

I’ve busted some chops and broke me some wild broncs—
Bruised butts and cracked heads in some crazy honkytonks—

I’ve wrote me poems about the West and its joy—
But like I’ve always said: “Heck, I ain’t no cowboy.”

And though I’m downtrodden and may live in two worlds—
I savor a coon dog and still love all the girls.

I’ll leave with my ol’ hat and a pair of good boots—
A twelve-gauge shotgun and an ol’ Colt that still shoots.

You can bury me in town or out on the range—
‘Cause both of them is just fine and neither is strange—

Don’t belly-up to my pine box or act too coy—
Just tell the blamed ol’ truth: “Heck, he weren’t no cowboy.” 

Details | Burlesque | |

The American Drive-Thru Life

we have a fairly unique society
we're masters of energy conservation
and I don't mean of oil or electricity...
I mean bodily efforts, we waste no more
than we absolutely have to,
and that's no folklore...

we drive thru every aspect of life,
to get a burger, or wed a wife...
if a car ahead is moving too slow,
with our horns we let them know

they're slowin'  down the American dream,
at a pace that makes us scream...
"come'on, G_d D_mn it,
move that piece of Sh_t!!"

it's a pay and pick-up world,
the fast track American lifestyle,
I doubt other societies would understand it,
unless they lived here for a while

our cell phones are ever at our ears
our money is now but plastic,
we still have a bunch of scary fears,
but it's such a stretch, it seems elastic,

we worry about how long it takes
to live our life our way
if you can cut it down real quick,
you'd keep waiting time at bay..

right, or wrong, I do not judge
cause I'm so busy here
at the Carvel drive-thru window,
impatiently waitin' for my fudge!

Details | Free verse | |


i find it odd i find i find i found a sign it was a bad sign-
big big & bad.
i wonder as i wonder before in wonderment wondered
do i have time for more? 
more more as everyone in history always wants & knows
they wants more.
we all always wants more.
teachers try to teach me teachings teaching seeming like
hypocrisy, accessing me to see
there's more that i could be.
which is what hurts the most you see.

Details | I do not know? | |

What If...

What if trees never got old?
What if Doritos weren't extremely bold?
What if my mom was my dad's uncle's cousin?
What if bees chirped and birds were buzzin?
What if every house had a drawbridge and moat?
What if the Cubs hadn't bothered the Billy Goat?
What if girls changed bodies with boys?
What if there was no such color as turquoise?
What if black turned into white?
What if day turned into night?
What if a freezer made things hot?
What if I had a personal robot?
What if the Little Engine never did try?
What if Pinnochio never told a lie?
What if they just gave the poor rabbit Trix?
What if after one, two you didn't pick up sticks?
If all of these what ifs were actually true,
The world would be wonderful for me and you.

Then I Would...

If the sky switched places with the ground,
Then I'd be forced to walk upside down.
And if there were no age to a tree,
there'd be plenty of oxygen for everyone to breathe.
If every house had a drawbridge and moat,
When I went to my neighbor's, I'd need a boat.
If the Cub's Billy Goat curse wasn't severe,
Then they could win a World Series this year.
If the boys switched place with girls,
Then a muscular man would wear a necklace with pearls.
If the day happened to turn into night, 
Then the sun wouldn't be nearly as bright.  
If the freezers were used to heat everything, 
I'd use a microwave to cool my ice cream.
If I had a personal robot whose name was Gabe,
Then I'd never get up except to bathe.
If Pinnochio admitted that he was a doll,
Then perhaps his nose would be rather small.
And if the little steam engine didn't think he could, 
He'd be stuck on the tracks, and that'd be no good.
If the kids gave the rabbit Trix and answered his cries,
The he wouldn't have to dress up in disguise.
If all of these things happened just as I hope,
Then everyone would be happy, and no one would mope.

Details | Free verse | |

Time for Equality

Alright you guys, just listen up, it's time for me to vent.
The day has come to recognize, somehow we must repent.
For centuries now, we've acted as, we are much better than,
our counterparts the girls and gals or a.k.a. WOMAN!
They wash our clothes, they cook our food, keep clean things round the house, yet still somehow we all believe that we're the supreme spouse.
Baloney, that's a bunch of crap, it's time to tell them all, 
so get up off you're your BIG fat butt, and turn off that football.
Admit to them, for once for all, as hard as that may seem,
equalitys' found a brand new day, a day they should redeem.
Their dignity, their pride, their trust and all that we've assumed,
that once was our's to have and keep, self-righteously entombed.
They brought our children to this world, and labored major pain,
while we felt slighted .... 'er lack of sex, how dare they do abstain?
They truly are our equals now, so guy's let's all admit, 
they always have been all along, because of gender split.
Just stop and think, what would you do, if all of them weren't here?
Imagine living Man to Man... My God, Good Grief, .... Oh Dear !!!!!!!!

Details | Free verse | |

Competitive Advantage

I find nothing wrong with being educated-- As long as one's education doesn't exceed one's intelligence. Ya know what I mean Vern? It's like putting two friendly cats in a sack, shaking it up and dumping them out. Each will claw and scratch to get ahead, as they hit the ground running. Kind of puts me in mind of life. Everyone strives for some competitive advantage. For some, It's formal education, It's one thing to have it--still another to use it. But never consider yourself the better person simply because of it. When you make this mistake, you have surrendered your competitive advantage to the person who's diploma reads School Of Hard Knocks.

Details | Burlesque | |

Purdee Poofict People

youz beauties wit all dem dare wurds,
baffle me, cause mine brainz is turds
somedae I'zill grows up,
ann getz real smartz likz yu'zz,
til den, iz' carrie onz, 
feelin o, sew blew

Details | Light Poetry | |

Socrates Stole My Socks!

Now I know how he got his name....
He can put an electric dryer to shame!
Dryers eats socks,
Socrates does pilfer....
I wonder what happens,
If I send him a bill 'fer
All my missing socks....
Would he sock me one?

Details | Lyric | |

Queen Of Contraban

For:  Deputy Anderson / G.C.D.C.

I am a pro, she told me so,

That I’m a sneak, stuff has 2 go.

Said:  “I can’t help my knack 2 plan”,

Cuz I am “Queen Of Contraband”.

I try to be a good inmate,

The things I do, R not 4 hate.

I hope she know, I ‘m really not mad,

But being locked up, is so (F’n) sad.

I really try, to follow the rules,

Just that, in my mind, I must make jewels.

It keeps me real, to fool “THE MAN”,

Cuz I am “Queen Of Contraband”.

Details | Free verse | |

euphoria is illegal

! lock !    bloody murder
! me !              for sale / every picture with her face was
! up !                               lost, almost as if she never
     existed. tomorrow's possibilities -- give hint       what will
  crystal ball :                                                                   happen?
                      : explosion. / weary & numb the legs buckle, 
          suddenly acknowledging the science of gravitational pull-
 being so used to boundariless ___________ strolls through
                     & god said let there be
                     light!                                    (anticipated goodness)
you have been mistaken, ; taken what was once pure & let it
     f (ast carried the word of redemption, licked it all up)
   a (nd spit it back out, realizing time as a game that couldn't)
  l (ast. we may try, we may have something good somewhere inside us-)
l (o & behold the constructed anatomy, given everything but what was)
       i need you the most right now! have needed you, will need you
                                  \ until the day i have you /
New breath & New beginnings, let's pretend as if we've never met :
hello.      how are you?                    fab.         
           hi.                       great, you?          -the problem is
                                                               that i know better than
                                                                    to believe you.
 -Euphoria is illegal. Suspicions were aroused earlier today as a
minor was seen carrying a smile. Investigations will proceed shortly.-

Details | ABC | |

Ella Minnow Piece

Learn how to talk to different people, such as:
Mechanics who claim to fix your car and your problems,
Nymphomaniacs who can be kept eeeeeeasily aroused in what you say, and
Ostentorians who will help you be a good listener while standing decibels away.
Politeness and tact with all are the keys.

Details | Free verse | |


No big $10 dollar words
No attempt to parade my mind
I came, I saw, I conquered
I'm the easy kind

I'd like to think
the world is round
but surely it is not
Or I'd be sliding all around
and I see no curved ground

So button up your pompous mouth
It's time for you to be real
The simple truth is easy to read
It's what you really feel. 

Details | Tanka | |

Watch What You Think

blue sentiments make
mental sediment, so clear
your mind.  point your face
towards the sky, or you'll have
an ostrich's head in sand.

Details | I do not know? | |

Hitting the Fan

No time!
Think not!
Here I am,
In meaningless thoughts,
Given by another.
Drop of a pants,
Speaking loudly,
Finding out,
Second face,
Speaking in madness.
Flying everywhere,
Hitting the fan,
I turned around,
Heavy wind,
Thrust it back at me.
Covered from head to feet,
On my lips,
Getting a taste.
O' number two!
Knowing that's the toilet's place.
Thousand moments over,
You think by now I would have learned?

Details | Lyric | |

Dissecting A Speck

Though small its size it offers no resistance, No matter it's diameter at given hour of day. And should division come at your insistence, A speck just gets smaller, never going away. No matter its division, its start it retains, Though diminishing beyond ability to see. A remnant of that speck always remains, If you don't behold it, can it no longer be?

Details | I do not know? | |


What are MEN?
Are they woman’s only sin?
They twist you around their finger and make you linger.
You say never again, victim of MEN.
We just can’t win.
Go away!
I wished they would make up their minds, all the mind games they play.
Is their any way!
We love them just the same.
MEN are so lame they barie us in their own shame saying we are to blame,
Can’t live with them.
Can’t live without them.
Someday some one will write a book on understanding MEN, with any luck.
Until then MEN totally SUCK!

Details | Free verse | |

Unconditional Love

Of all guys that are out there
You decided to pick me
And I'm trying to figure out why
I'm not the best of the bunch
I don't even express my feelings
Instead I mask them so I'm distracted
I guess you must've seen this by now
Is that one of the reasons that you picked me?

Love is such a mysterious subject
It is funny in ways
I can't believe that it
Even chose me...

What other traits do I have
That seems to attract you to me?
All I like to do is be unique
So I'm different...
Can give me five good reasons
Of why you picked me of all people?
Is it out of pity, lust, or love?
If it is because of love, then I'm confused
Unless you know that I'm just masking my true feelings

Love... such a mysterious subject
So unpredictable
Of all people to choose from
It chose me...

If I'm destined to fall in love
With someone that cars for me
Then is she the one that is meant for me?

Love is such a mysterious subject
It is funny in ways
I can't believe that it
Even chose me
Love... such a mysterious subject
So unpredictable
Of all people to choose from
It chose me...

Unconditional love...

Details | Rhyme | |


I went after contentment.
  I needed just one more thing.

I couldn't get it; It got me,
  'Cause my heart was with MP3.

Contentment's not elusive.
  It rests inside us, a friend,
To frame, fill our life with treasure,
  Heedless of human endeavor.

Details | Rhyme | |


Two armpits
Everyone has
Tub, sink or shower
In need of baths
In need of protection
Roll, glide or spray
Wash and deodor
Every day

Details | Couplet | |

Make it Real Compared to What?

  The juries of debauchery; with there jaded little judging’s;
  They leave no room for circumstance; because it’s known they are begrudging
They think they make it real; but real compared to what;
Opinions maybe of some exiles; that circle in a rut.
   A simple minded creature; is the spineless jelly fish;
  But even when avoided, it’s supposed they should exist.
Disappointed and discouraged; the watcher’s walk alone;
They’ve grown to like their solitude; for most out there are drones.

Details | Burlesque | |

Marilyn Or Charles?

you can take your pick
to me, they're both very sick

charlie? (his name does not warrant a capital)
Marilyn (what sex you think he might be?)
both grizzly, or so, to me...

who'd you rather have as a cell-mate
if this is the choice you have?
I think I'd vote for solitary,
or put in my eyes a lye soaked salve

Details | I do not know? | |


A rose is not the same,
By any other name.
To call a heart a spade is just confusing.
Tofu is not bacon.
If you think so, you’re mistaken,
And winning’s never been the same as losing.

Details | Free verse | |

Love Bug

Dipsy Doodle was a bug,
That fell in love 
With a flea, lying on a rug

Dipsy said hug me flea
If you'd please...
Careful now bug, said the rug 

Or you'll find yourself
Laying just like me 
Holding more than just one flea

Well that bug kissed the flea
and exclaimed that's alright with me
The rug shook stating we shall see…

Poor Dipsy Doodle Bug 
should have listened to the rug
the flea viewed Dipsy as the Love Bug

Produced more fleas 
than there were arms to hug
Hate t'say I told you so said the rug

Details | I do not know? | |

I Think

I think,
Does that mean I am?
Are you sure?
A nanner is a nanner if you eat it,
So what is it if you don’t eat it?
It’s a nanner.
If you see red what do I see?
Why is it called red, 
Is it the same color to you and me,
How do you know?
If I hear a coyote singing his song,
Do you just hear a noise that is wrong?
If roses are red, 
And violets are purple, 
What color is maple syruple?
Ignore this ignore that, 
Never ignore a little spat.
Kill your enemies with kindness,
They will never forgive you for it.
Harmonious harmony,
Where is my true love to be?
Guess I am not meant to have one,
Well son-of-a-gun.
If jack is nimble,
How can he be quick,
Much less jump over a candle stick?
If I ponder on life,
Do I get to have a wife?
No just life …….. I think!