Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

Ocean Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Ocean

These Ocean Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Ocean. These are the best examples of Ocean Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

Details | Free verse |

. F.T.W.(oil)

.       F.T.W.
F.ree  T.he  W.aves
f.REE  t.HE  w.AVES

F.ree T.he W.aves!!!
Is what they say,,
Got my self some true tales
About the world today.
Oil job site fails.
Poor Sea World has to pay.
I found many black sea shells
Oil got in their way.
I wanna claw my nails.
On B.P.for turning our sand to clay
I can sit and give details
How they ruin our ocean bay
Instead I'm sending mean E-MAIL's
Expressing anger for their oily display.
How their stupidities drop our sales.
I hope they choke while eating a sea buffet
I hope someone feeds them sting-ray tails
As they drink coffee at there sea side cafe.
Everything sooner or later prevails
And ocean life will once again find a way.

God send them rain hit them with heavy hail
It's to late for B.P.to pray..
2 months of a  black grave trail
((LOL)), B.P.you angered the US.A.
Getting off easy with no jail
That does not make things okay.
I will not wish you all to go to hell
After making the ocean a bigger body of dead prey
Your clean up time is slower than a sea snail
Many uncalled dead seagulls are found in your oily decay
Funny how the president takes the heat of your bail.
You screwed our blue ocean water to a stream of black and grey.

An oil site ran by a higher percent of males
Oh well what can you expect and say.
With the world in the way of oil spills.
Is like B.P.oil's is saying F.T.W.anyway.
While we the protesters say, F.ree T.he W.hales!!!
F.T.W.=free the whales!!!!!

=(contest)=


Details | List |

Stupid is as stupid does

1. To save the environment, lets blow up an oil rig and dump 200,000 gallons of oil 
in the ocean and kill ocean life...sound like a plan my fellow environmentalist?

Yeah lets show them!!

2. Jump on somebody that I don't know just cause I won't have to answer to my 
friends tomorrow, for my stupidity. Call them a few choice names because I am a 
shallow, narrow minded person and laugh like I have conquered terrorism.

3. Sit on a limb that I am sawing away from a tree...

4. there is a law about to be passed that makes it illegal to ride in the left lane 
except to pass... Lets think about this...interstates have 4-6 lanes if all the cars had 
to stay in the right lane, It would take forever for everyone to get to work...duh!!

Just some thoughts to ponder...


Details | Blank verse |

By The Ocean's Edge

I sit by the ocean’s edge, regarding the 3 shades of blue before me.
As I watch, a reverse cascade bursts to the sky. A low wale and a splash. Gone.
Dolphins, their laughter adorable at the least, bound into the air, only to dive back seconds later. 
Looking over, I see the wise cranes, jumping and bopping to a tune I cannot hear. 
Gulls high above shout greetings to me and their fellows. 
The sun, radiating it’s warmth unto my skin, bright and bold.

This is paradise. But not my paradise. 

…There has to be lemonade. 
Then, and only then, will this be my paradise.


Details | Rhyme |

The Mermaid

While sailing out on morning’s tide
A mermaid on a rock I spied
She was a lovely half-fish girl
With a necklace made of whitest pearl

She smiled and blew a kiss to me
Then disappeared into the sea
She surfaced back behind the boat
And lazily began to float

I grabbed my friend and pointed aft
He thought that I was truly daft
For mermaids don’t exist, you know
My friend quite plainly told me so

No sooner had he walked away 
The mermaid came again to play
She sunned herself upon some rocks
And combed her flowing silken locks

I hailed the Captain of our ship
But she had given me the slip
The Captain answered to my call
But saw no mermaid there at all

The Captain thought me quite insane
As my wondrous tale I did explain
When he returned back to his duty
I saw again my ocean beauty

She floated there upon a wave
A subtle wink she slyly gave
And then she flipped her lovely tail
Swimming along as we did sail

I called all of my sailor friends
To show them her curvaceous fins
They asked if I was feeling well
When my story I began to tell

I pointed to the mermaid fair
But when they looked, nothing was there
They thought that I had lost my mind
No mermaid out there could they find

They left and shook their weary heads
And sleepily went to their beds
My head was in a dizzy whirl
I saw the ocean waters swirl

Then once again she came in sight
Swimming in the pale moonlight
I yelled and danced a frantic jig
As they hauled me off into the brig

“He’s lost it” I did hear them say
As they sadly went upon their way
Through the port of my little cell
I watched the sea waves rise and swell

Then suddenly next to the glass
I saw the little seaward lass
She took the pearls off of her neck
And tossed them up onto the deck

Then off she swam into the deep
As I wearily slipped off to sleep
When came the early light of dawn
I stretched my arms and gave a yawn

Then my good friend upon the ship 
Ran down with pearls fast in his grip
"You won’t believe the sight I saw"
He said to me, face filled with awe

Last night while I was by the rail
I heard a voice give me a hail
Next thing I knew, here came these pearls
From underneath the ocean swirls

"Quite right you were", he said to me
"A mermaid threw these from the sea"
I winked and said “I don’t think so”
For mermaids don’t exist you know


Details | Ballad |

JACK DANIALS I CRY

IF I was a monkey,lived in the zoo.
I swing from the vine,that what I would do.
But IM not a monkey,dont live in the zoo.
So I will drink my JACK DANIALS,give a toast to you.

If the ocean was whiskey,and I was a duck.
I swim to the bottom and never come up.
But the ocean not whiskey,and IM not a duck.
So I will play TEXES HOLDEM,and drink to my luck.

JACK DANIANLS,JACK DANIALS,I cry.
If a car dont roll over me,I will live till I die
If I die meet ST. PETER,at the gate.
If IM drinking my JACK DANIALS,he will have to wait.

JACK DANIALS,JACK DANIALS,cream of the crop.
IM going to drink my JACK DANIALS ,until the day that I drop
When I drop,fall flat on the floor.
IM going to pick my self up,and drink me some more.


Details | Verse |

The Anchor

I once loved
an anchor
one of those
that sails
on skin
one of those
that has 
a rowing heart
and pelting blood
within


One of those
who blows
mussel covered
kisses
one of those
that tells
mermaids salty lies
one of those
who'll
go down with
rum and shackles
the day he finally
dies.


© Gry W Christensen


Details | I do not know? |

pacific ocean

i wish i could swim the pacific ocean and back. 

and when i came back to sit in front of a burning burning fire

until it dried me to the bone.

and for my skeleton to be hung above your bed

to act as a catcher of your night terrors

and it would work

because you would know that i was magical.

because i swam the whole pacific ocean and back. 

for you.


Details | Free verse |

If I could.

 I would climb the highest mountain,for you
 if you asked me to.
 I would swim the ocean for you,
 if only I could.
That sounds all well and good,
there is some thing I have not told you.
A mountain I can not climb,
I hate looking down,
an ocean I can not swim,
water is definitely not my thing.
I would build a house for you but
I can not promise it will stand,
when it comes to do it yourself
I have two left hands.
How about I sing for you
not a good idea,
my voice is so high
I could shatter your glass from here.
There must be some thing I can do
to show how I feel about you.
I will dedicate this poem to you,
now that is some thing I can do.