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Graduation Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Graduation

These Graduation Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Graduation. These are the best examples of Graduation Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse |

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!


Details | Bio |

Deadly Feet Of Tae Kwon Do

He was in none of my classes
In the 1980's
And I saw him only on test days
Where one had to perform his "kata"
And fight in the ring
For the Sensai to do his thing

At these graduation tests
Where we seeked the next higher belt
Several schools would meet
And it was on one of these occasions,
I met a student with the most deadly feet...

Wasn't that he kicked well,
Or scared us in the ring,
It was the putrid odor,
That made our noses so sting

I doubt he'd washed his feet in decades,
The stench was so very strong,
Sitting there waiting to fight,
I wondered what was going wrong

He wasn't even near me,
But yet I choked and gagged
And when i did get closer,
I knew I had the culprit tagged

I but merely hoped I didn't have to fight him,
Though I knew I could kick his ass,
But the thought of those stinking feet near me
Would be like being exposed to toxic gas

Well, I lucked out
His stench used
In someone else's bout..

But the memory of that smell
Lingers on until this day
I don't know if I can explain it,
I don't know quite what to say...

A power like that,
Stronger than martial arts,
Done merely with lack of soap...
I suppose I could have saved money
And joined him as a dope.




Details | Rhyme |

Remember When

The fondest memory of a young boy’s drive,
   Are those things reminding us we are alive,
As when those physics of natural fortitude,
   Rise up to the occasion and start to protrude.

Seemingly the notion is quite  uncontrollable, 
  The mind that takes over is quite consolable,
`T was Love gave us the procreating  urge,
   Assumption is such, why should we not spurge?

As was this friend of mine who’s name was Berg, 
   With every young lady he saw, wanted to spurge,
He did saddled himself with three kids and a wife,
   Which is fine if mature ,but if not ruins one’s life.  

Another fond memory of a young boy alive,
   Is all those hot rod cars that he use to drive,
One of my dearest friends lost his life, where and when?
   High school graduation on Bayou creek bend.

A four in the floor and a fifth under the seat,
   Young boys feel like such a feat is quite neat,
Driving while drunk chancy rich price to pay,
   Same as being too young when one hit’s the hay!

This story has no glory,  though all parts are true,
   Parents seriously need to teach children good pursue,
Apple of God’s eye, tooth for tooth, an eye for an eye,
   We have not mercy,  when it is judgments we cry! 

For Contest: Fondest Memory
In Honor of: Frank Herrera


Details | Couplet |

What they didn't tell her about Fairy tales

They told me from the time I was two
“One day prince charming is coming for you!”

They made me read these inspiring fairy tales
About mermaids, evil step mothers and 
servants whose childhoods were unfair,

They told me that even if I was troubled and had to put up with a lot,
That someday my adversaries would have to surrender
to me and scrub my pots,

They told me I wasn’t alone; animals would be my friend
So I tried that, then one night they bit me, 
I suffered another tragic end

They said to always be kind-hearted that’s what all man want,
When I got into high school I found out no one wanted to talk to the fat girl in the corner who ate chocolate glazed croissants 

They told me to find seven dwarfs, a crew of little people
My school only had four of them 
Their names were; scuba, geek freak, muffin top and meatball

In eleventh grade they said, "ask God for a fairy godmother to get a dress for the prom"
I went to a Catholic Church, got one for 75 cents, 
with red stripes and one missing arm

They said after graduation the wise thing to do would be to go to college 
and Not rush into getting married
So I got knocked up my senior year by the school janitor,
His name is "Prince Larry!"

I dropped out a month before school ended and you’ll never guess where I reside
I am currently employed doing Disney parties, where I get to dress up as all the great characters who told me those fabulous lies.
 
Got to Love fairy tales…

By: Sabina Nicole
1-24-13


Details | I do not know? |

Schooldays Western and Graduation Classics

Brought up from the womb of schooldays
Where memories still frames those mischief plays
Stuck with the thoughts of dreaming holly bolly babes
Comparing the beauties from among the best
The out and out gist, one surely misses those garlopholic days.

The morning alarm runs the cold water hot
Breakfast served and then the sprint
To reach before the nine forty bell.
Literature lecture the morning Yawn, followed by
Critical calculations the creation of few jobless mankinds.
Easy to know the solar system only from books, but
One need to fight against hurdles, to go round the globe.
The fruit that proved the gravitation, and the man who saw,
Keeping rest of the things constant, how come he didn’t notice before
Other things to fall ??
Subjects all seemed to me having an inter-relationship
And lastly this chain is known as history with mystery.

Immature mind yet a manly look
Smoking fag with creative thoughts
No idea how large the peg
Yet felt proud to say, ‘I finished 750 ml alone without a vomit break’.
A hint to know the word ‘C’,
And then I thought of kindergarten days
Where I learnt, C is for Cat,
Was it a fake?

Crazy things and Quarter to quarter girlfriends
Tears shifted to the word sex.
Yummy dreams with sorts of vulgarity
Wings started to spread but keeping in mind the fidelity.

Bohemian time and three more irresponsible years
Had to reach anyhow before the rays reaches
Principal’s eyes.
British age classrooms and railway station fans
High degree oldie professors and their sleeping pills lectures
Boredom same gender batch mates and that regular back gate
The awaited smudged horizon, suddenly brightens
The first one to appear used to have hundreds of eyes and mind respect.

A rare macaw time now
Bunch of responsible days to come
Stressed with few kicked off past and framed memories
Westerns and classics are now changing to a routine life.
Weekend alcoholic night and a morning sleepy Sunday
Followed by a workaholic Monday to Friday.


Details | Rhyme |

Perfect Circle Piston Rings

The Perfect Circle Plant was where most kids went to work as a general rule,
To begin a life of donkeywork upon graduation from the local school.
I dreamed of things far beyond the horizon like visitin' Rome or Istanbul,
Not a life of drudgery in the plant or plowin' corn behind a ploddin' mule!

I suppose I could've gone to work there, married and had a flock of kids,
But such a mundane life would've driven me to booze, landin' me on the skids!
They made expansion rings and such for airplanes, ships and tanks.
Not for me!  I chose the Air Force!  For that I've always given thanks!

While I enjoyed the beauty of Bermuda (where I 'fought' the Korean War),
My peers were waitin' for quittin' time, performin' their borin' chore!
I reckon they made about five bucks an hour turnin' out expansion rings.
I only made a hundred bucks a month, but it paid for my youthful flings!

I just couldn't see myself turnin' nuts and bolts and payin' union dues,
Or catchin' hell from the ol' lady for stoppin' by the pub for some brews!
While I was dinin' on steak and sippin' Tom Collins' at the Plantation House,
My pals back home were eatin' meatloaf and listenin' to their spouse's grouse!

I hasten to say that the Perfect Circle Plant provided my friends with needed work,
But operatin' a planer or lathe eight hours a day would've driven me berserk!
Should I have taken Dad's advice and hired on at the plant had I to do it over?
Nah!  I wanted to get off the farm and leave the county 'cause I'm an avid rover!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Light Poetry |

Gobbledygook

On the peak of Mount Gobbledygook a man of wisdom sat,
Wondering if this would be the day that someone might stop to chat.

For in his long life he had acquired a mountain of useful knowledge,
Earning several degrees while he was away at Valley Guru College.

He never went to watch the football team or ever drank a beer,
He never dated the guru girls or found a reason to cheer.

By keeping his nose to the grindstone he got what he wanted I suppose,
Degrees filled with useful knowledge not to mention a flattened nose.

After graduation he searched around until he had found the highest peak,
Then he took shelter in a cave and waited for someone with whom to speak.

Surely there would be a line of people seeking out the words he had to say,
Certainly they’d start showing up by tomorrow if they didn’t show up today.

Because the world was filled with people trapped in unhappy states,
And he knew that he could help them because sympathy was one of his traits.

So on the top of Gobbledygook this man of patient wisdom sat,
Waiting for those who’d never come because they have an app for that.


Details | ABC |

Skin

You send bolts through my skin 
something I was never to 
accomplish with you, when I 
saw you it's like my heart sank 
to my stomach and I was in 
shock my body still my body 
heavy felt like when I moved I 
was about to fall to my knees 
you make me want to get 
inside my brain pick you up and 
take you out pick you one by 
one like a flower because I do 
love you and love you not.


Details | Rhyme |

The One Who Finished Last in His Class

The One Who Finished Last in His Class

By Elton Camp

Not all teachers have equal smarts & skill
And a less able lawyer sure gives no thrill

There are found some West Point cadets
Whose graduation the academy so regrets

And the accountant who eked his degree
From him a large number of errors you see

There’s the last-place structural engineer
To cross his bridge there’s reason to fear

The almost failed pharmacist often will
Dispense to the patient a mistaken pill

The worst graduate of the beauty school
Won’t give very good hairdos as a rule

And the chiropractor who barely got by
Won’t know the right adjustment to try

The business school grad at end of the line
Won’t produce work that will be very fine

And with a medical school it’s just the same
Yet, last-place finisher, it’s doctor we name


Details | I do not know? |

Graduation Day

Her eyes dancing with excitement
The joy cannot be contained
Today is graduation day
My sanity regained!

Her red gown pressed so neatly
Cap perfectly on her head
Tears are coming to my eyes
No matter what I said!

Call her name, Come on let’s go!
Across that stage so brave
One hand open, One hand up
Tell me she’s not going to wave!

The crowd goes wild for my little girl
She blows kisses to us all
Hands are waving in the air 
Please look out for the wall!

As she disappears from my sight
Her big debut’s been made
I can’t believe it’s finally over
Here we come 1st grade!


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