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Funny Girl Poems | Funny Poems About Girl

These Funny Girl poems are examples of Funny poems about Girl. These are the best examples of Funny Girl poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Limerick | |

The Sundress Girl

Little Lulu, a cute little girl. in her sundresses loved to just twirl. Around she kept going, pink underpants showing. Her life would become one big “whirl.” In grade school, she grew to be wild. Upside down, in the playground, this child from the monkey bar hung in her sundress among all the boys standing round her, who smiled! As a teen, Lulu still loved to wear a sundress to make young men stare. She was thought a great sport when she wore a dress short, legs crossed as she sat in a chair. Little Lulu was so hot to trot her affection by many was sought till that cute buttercup got finally knocked up. Then a white wedding sundress she bought! The years crept up quickly on Lulu. On her porch she now stands and calls, “You-hoo!” to every old guy who might give her the eye as she twirls the huge skirt of her muumuu!
Written by Andrea Dietrich Inspired by the contest: "The Sundress" Sponsored by ~ Constance La France ~ A Rambling Poet ~~

Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2011

Details | Romanticism | |

Life According to Miss Ooh-La-La

She sits perched, like a gorgeous gargoyle, upon the boulder
splotched with spots of mint chocolate ice cream moss - the wind tasting
her lovely locks as if it were spicy cinnamon straight off the tree.
It excites the senses (to put it frankly) watching her gaze
pierce the sapphire roof of the world
with a challenge to be met.

Or was it the twinkle in her smile
that shone like polished ivory, reminding me of the legalities
of elephantine tusks, and the slippery slope of falling
for that gracious grin and hallowed hope.

It could just be, she's got a lasso on my heart,
that takes delight in my vertigo - flipping and flopping
much like an oval shaped wheel.
I'd ask her to grease the hinges, or go back to the drawing board,
but to tell the truth - it adds character to the path
digging dangerously into the dirt dutifully
causing a spray of pebbles to the face of normalcy.

It could just be, that letting go ain't in her vocabulary,
reeling me in like a big fish story in one of those backwater
little ponds, that spawn such discrepancy.
I'd say she's a catch, but that would be cheesy
(though that does bring to mind her chef-like tendencies,
plopping strawberries on my tongue with little tidbits
of Wisconsin sharp cheddar)
It could just be, that life according to Miss Ooh-La-La
couldn't get any better ...

... then again it could just be
I'm waxing eloquently.

Copyright © Timothy Hicks | Year Posted 2016

Details | Free verse | |

If I Were a Girl

If I had been born a girl
I wonder what would rock my world
I really have to stop and think
I guess I’d have to start liking pink

One thing I know that would be really great
I know I’d never make a single mistake

I could change my mind all of the time
Oh wait a minute … no I wouldn’t
Well yeah, I guess I would
Or not
Yeah, I would change my mind all the time
Naw, that wouldn’t be fair to my guy
Ahh – who cares … surely not I

I suppose I would have to get used to carrying a purse
Of course, there are other things to get used to a whole lot worse

I wouldn’t have to shave my face …
But I would have to shave almost every other place

If I were to be a girl
I don’t think I would be one of those liberated kind
Treat me like a delicate flower
I really would not even mind

I guess I couldn’t burp and fart in public
That would really cramp my style
And I know I couldn’t walk in high heels
Not even for one tenth of a mile

And one thing I know for sure,
I would be the ugliest girl under the sky …
No – I think I’ll just scratch and spit
And thank God I was born a guy

Copyright © Joe Flach | Year Posted 2012

Details | Rhyme | |

The Fat Girl

I may be fat but I can cook soul food to put you in a good mood I don't mean to be rude but you look like a string bean
You only know how to make sandwiches I can make steaks to take your breath away
you say I look like a steak but you can't even make a cake you need to drink more shakes
I need to eat more salads but at least I have a big wallet

I may be fat but I can dance your eyes are  glued to my thighs are you hypnotize yet
Do you want to take a chance and try to beat me in dancing you can't defeat me 
I can shake my hips and do flips I can drop it like its hot you can only pop that's not much 
Oh, now you want to challenge me but you can't balance on the dance floor 
The crowd wants to see me more you were just a bore 

I may be fat but I'm the one who looks pretty in this skirt you look silly like Big Bert
You say I don't look good in a bikini because I'm not tiny but at least I'm not  bony like you
You say I look like a buffalo but at least I don't have a problem finding a fellow
I don't mean to be a pest but you started this mess why don't you give it a rest
I'm fat but I'm telling you I'm the best you don't need to guess 

I may be fat but I'm good at writing poetry
You say that  you're good too but people are going to say boo to you
You say that isn't true and I need to pray because I won't win but I know I can 
You say that people wouldn't pay cash to see me but they will chase me I have a nice ass
you say your poetry  will get publish but that's only a wish I will you forgot to take your pills

Men want to be with me because I have meat on me you only have bones 
You say that I don't look like a model but men want to play with me and pay me to date 
I may be fat but I found a man who likes me like that but your man said you act like a brat
I'm getting married tomorrow don't feel sorrow 
You can laugh but at least I'm glad that I'm not sad or bad and I'm not a brat so take that

Copyright © Ileane Ogilvie | Year Posted 2014

Details | Light Poetry | |

You Can Call Me Sir but I GUESS You're Gonna Have to Call Me -

I just KNEW I was a woman
a woman inside a man’s body
therefore I went under the knife
(My surgeon said it went well)

But when I looked in the mirror
I was appalled and yes, horrified
Even after applying makeup
and donning a push-up bra
I was just plain----Ug-LEEE
(We shan’t discuss chest-down)

Thus, I had a change of heart
I wanted to restore my manhood
and kindly asked my doctor
for a reverse operation...

Wanna know what she told me??
“GIRL, you ain’t got the BALLS”...

*I hope no one is offended by this...I know this is a serious issue and I totally understand and sympathize with ANYONE who knows in their heart of hearts that this is the correct decision for them, male or female...

Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2015

Details | I do not know? | |

Nasty girl

   There you go again doing things that you are not suppose to be in and then you look at 
me like oh i'm so sweet if you only knew I can be a freak without showing it. Here they 
go listening to the rumors but i'm your friend so in the end I know that they are true. 
How could you do that with him and her and they were on the ground you were pretending to 
pick up gum? You need to be safe, making out with strangers girl I aint no saint but god 
what are you doing? I don't want to see you years from now telling me you got aids, I 
worry about you and I feel like your special so I even wrote about you come on look how 
much you mean to me. You like him I get it but how many other guys have you liked in the 
past. He's your only, he's a phony make sure he's not just in it for the prize because 
girl you never know some guys are. It's the truth and you need to listen, I don't mean to 
sound bossy but soon enough your name is going to be posted on all the bathrooms walls. 
Telling things that you haven't even done yet. But you will front about it, Lie again. 
Telling everyone it's happened how do we know what's real or fake. I love your 
personality I wish I could steal it, Your loud, and flirty, daring and smart girl you got 
too much heart to be showing it to everyone who wants a sip. this is for all the nasty 
girls out there who think I don't know what i'm saying just ask anyone of them who are 
dead now or are on the streets prostitiuting. Don't be afraid to be a freak it's healthy 
but sometimes it's better when it's secret closet freaks have more fun.

Copyright © Shahana Jackson | Year Posted 2005

Details | Lyric | |

You Won't Tell Them How You Lied

Tonight it feels like, the end of the world
Tonight you showed me, you were never my girl
I wonder do you know, what my heart is doing
Well girl it's breaking in two, since you've gone

Go ahead tell those lies, to all your friends
Go ahead tell them, what a big fool i've been
I wonder will you tell them, you have a heart of stone
Or will you call them, and joke about me on the phone

Well be sure to tell them, how you broke my heart
And how funny it was, when I set down and cried
Tell them how, you tore my world apart
'Cause I know, you won't tell them how you lied

You're gonna have to be careful, when you're drinking
You're gonna have to be sober, when you're bragging
You'll have to learn to shut your mouth, when your wasted
Or everyone will no your a liar, and how your mind is twisted

Well be sure you tell them, how you broke my heart
And how funny it was, when I set down and cried
And tell them how, you tore my world apart
'Cause girl I know, you won't tell them how you lied

Copyright © George Martin | Year Posted 2007

Details | Imagism | |

My Secret Love Affair

Even though our time is just
A moment here and there
To me you’ll never be 
The average everyday affair

I know I’m just a picture 
In the memory of your mind
The girl you keep a secret
The girl you leave behind

There was a time I’d lay awake 
And dream of you and I
There was a time I wanted more
There was a time I’d cry

For love is never easy
When it’s given just by one
Love is never easy 
When for him it’s just for fun

Love is never easy 
When you think that it’s for real
But when the spell is broken
It's not love, but lust you feel

Your dreams diminish one by one
Illusions fade away
And in their place reality
Has come to have its say

So now I know the secret 
To a passionate affair
To just enjoy the moment
To live without a care

To take each moment as it comes 
With eyes now open wide
But always with your secret love
You just enjoy the ride...

Copyright © Raina Hutchins | Year Posted 2009

Details | Couplet | |


There sits my bonnie girl, frilly, lacy, all pink and pretty She boasts of an enviable collection of cute stuff - all Hello Kitty! A pearly, stone-studded shiny pink Kitty bracelet With matching rings and hair clips to tame her silky ringlets, A stylish pair of pink comfy kitty flip-flops To go with her smooth stretchy night wear tops! A sassy little Hello Kitty cross-sling bag she wears Pairing up with chic pink-framed kitty glares, Kitty pencils, erasers and rulers in a well-stocked tuck box Her fancy kitty pouches and folders she invariably locks! A multi-compartment kitty wallet to hoard her loose change All geared for summer with her Hello kitty swimming range, A glittery Kitty lunch box to pack her school snack As she sets off with her pink kitty back pack, Water tastes better in a kitty sippy water-bottle Pink all the way, for nothing else she'll settle! She'd paint the world kitty pink, if the choice is hers Well, I wouldn't be surprised if one fine day she purrs!! 19th Jan 2013

Copyright © Yesha Shah | Year Posted 2013

Details | Free verse | |


Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!

Copyright © Smail Poems | Year Posted 2013

Details | Limerick | |

There Once was a Girl Named Lilly

There once was a girl named Lilly
who often liked to be silly
she put a spoon upon her nose
then she wrote a bit o' prose
and called it mexican chilly !

Copyright © MC MC | Year Posted 2012

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Fashion of Passion

I saw a girl whose legs were spangled,
They were so long that they easily tangled.
And when she wore her high heeled shoes,
She was a package no man could refuse.
Because when she walked she started to sway,
And set things in motion just the right way.
Lines of young men will stare as she passes,
Hoping for a smile or a bat of her lashes.
But the beautiful girl can’t stop to flirt,
Because her shoes make her feet hurt.
And all she wants is to walk in bare feet,
So when each day ended she’d always retreat.
Off came her shoes when she entered the door.
Because of the pain that she couldn’t ignore.
She’d rub her feet with a smile on her face,
Remembering how well she’d run the day’s race.
The look in their eyes gave her great satisfaction,
She’d received the rewards of each man’s reaction.
Alone in her room she’d sit with her prize,
Her two feet swollen to the next larger size.
I’m not sure which ones are more confused,
The girl herself or the men that she’d used,
To me it seems that she’s playing a game,
And when she wins it she’s alone and lame.
I don’t really get just why she’d play,
What dividends can it possibly pay?
I guess it depends on defining your passion,
And I’ve never been one to understand fashion.

For the Genius or Criminal? contest

Copyright © Tony Lane | Year Posted 2011

Details | Free verse | |

Could this be a RAP

I thought I would do a Rhyme in Rap.
Even though I find that kind of music Crap.
I am just a normal type of guy.
I wont forever ever lie.
Because that's not who I am.
I am a one woman man.
I have brown hair and deep blue eyes.
What you get with me is the beauty inside.
I wont hide my life from you I will tell only the truth.
I love all life all animals especially cats.
I don't go to a gym but I walk to stay healthy.
I may not be rich but in love I am wealthy.
What you see isn't what you get.
Because I am so much better than that.
I will rock your world because a boat is small..
While some may give you some?
I will always give you my all.
Life will be so much fun.
your back will never be against a wall.
For you my love I will always be on the ball.
You always take my breath away.
Make my heart pound faster.
Your the only one. I will always run after.
You are the goddess the queen of my life.
Maybe that's why so many men want you as a wife.
Your kisses are like heaven.
You are an angel without wings.
God made you to be all of the things.
That men want to cherish to honour to love.

Copyright © Keith Teaser | Year Posted 2016

Details | Burlesque | |

The Eyeshadow Girl

The blend of colors enlightens her day when she decides to embrace them;
She loves various colors which bring alive a girl’s eyes;
Each color depicts the triumph of beauty from within that is eager to fly more than twice;
The charisma of colors vitalizes one’s surrounding being a priceless gem.

Surveying around, she picks her Jimmy Choo;
Picking up her Chanel bag she appreciates her labor of love;
Then she looks at her sister to Shoo;
She knows that materialism and spiritualism is hard work from blessing above.

Copyright © Bhavna khemlani | Year Posted 2012

Details | Footle | |

The Girl at School Drops Her Pencil

What's this?
Pure bliss

NOTE: Hey everyone ... so I've been pretty busy these last few days, with packing, cleaning up, setting up yard-sales etc., so I'm gonna take a short break from posting and commenting ... but in the meantime feel free to enter my very first contest, March of the Footle. Curious to see how it goes ... happy writing!

Copyright © Timothy Hicks | Year Posted 2016

Details | Limerick | |

Birds -N- Bees

Your raging hormones you must ignore
For desires will shake you to your core
Listen to your heart 
Before you embark
Make love with someone you truly adore.

Sciences class teaches us what we should know
About body parts and where they should go
Willie goes in Muff
Quicken breaths we huff
All consumed till body fluids flow.

But alas the girl did not have none
Boy finished before girl was done
He is satisfied
She is horrified
Damn the hype about two joining as one.

Copyright © Cecilia Macfarlane | Year Posted 2012

Details | Lyric | |

My girl

Copyright © Michael Ward | Year Posted 2014

Details | Blank verse | |

Just Friends

Yeah I know it feels weird
But it's too beautiful to be bad
Now it's scary cos it might be a masquerade
If we happen to be more than what we are
Now that's cos we have become more than I can describe
No one understands when I sing all that jazz
It's already more than the music for mature minds
They go with the sarcastic reply "Just friends, yeah right"
And then I am lost in my definition
A new synonym is added in its oxymoron
She has become my doubted confidante
But only to the minds who refuse to see
If am gonna kick that bucket, it's definitely not your water in it

Copyright © Osita Azike | Year Posted 2016

Details | Sonnet | |

A Sonnet On a Tough Girl

I never will forget in junior high this girl who was a two-faced friend of mine. I can’t remember now the reason why, but she got mad for something asinine. She said, “I’m gonna beat you up! Be at the park, beside the water tower.” She then told me, “Bet you won’t show up.” That brat was MEAN! All day I fretted needlessly of what could be a real bad episode! So after school with my best friend, I went And waited for that witch; she never showed! With great relief, I then began to vent to my best friend of things that we could do to that “tough girl” - a chicken through and through! *True story & dedicated to my junior high school foe, who later went on to marry (and then divorce) the brother of my BEST friend! To read more about what happened later on with me and her, please view "ABOUT THIS POEM" which can be seen by clicking in the left hand corner above the title of a poem. For Carol Brown's Poetry Contest: ORNERY BEST FRIENDS

Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2012

Details | Rhyme | |

Show Me The Funny,part two---Tweeny's Bikini

Here's a tale I've told before
about a silly teenager.
She should have walked into a door
cos' her sense of pride was in danger.

She bought a hot pink bathing suit
with her babysitting money.
Thinking she looked pretty cute
she hoped to impress a honey.

She went to the local swimming pool
wearing this new bikini
hoping that the boys would drool
as the suit was rather teeny!

Jumping off the diving board
it happened so suddenly.
The top of the suit sailed off-oh lord!
And the "girls" were flying free!

Well she stayed in the water till time to go
then captured her top from poolside.
That girl was me I guess you know
and I had nowhere to hide!

The moral of this tale could be
pride goes before a fall.
And if you wear a teeny bikini
make sure it covers all!

Copyright © Deb Wilson | Year Posted 2013

Details | Limerick | |

Day One To Three

Day one of my regular period,
He always think I’m not in good mood;
         Seeing me, he runs away
         Do you think I like that way?
My heart isn’t hard as piece of wood.

He’s still single  and he lives alone,
He doesn’t know woman’s situation;
         Wearing napkins in three days
          So uneasy on my ways,
Yet, he’s seeking special attention.

Day two comes, he’s still so hesitant,
He wants me to shout at a distant;
         Is he gentle man or gay?
         He believes what other’s say
On monthly days, I’m not impatient!

Third day is said to be our last day,
Here he comes saying, “Babe, I’m sorry”
        Can I make love with you now?
        I believe you, I swear- bow.
Babe, it’s my third day, please go away.

July 4, 2013

Some people believe  that some women aren’t in good mood during their monthly period. But, for me, I don’t know;))))) . What I know is, I just love sleeping during these days. I’m always so so sleepy;))))))). 

 This was especially inspired by the Day One Poem writing contest of  my dearest poet sis Linda. The poem was closed when I was about to enter. Anyway,  I’m still sharing it with you  trying my best again to make you smile. I hope you’ll like it & I hope I did this limerick right. It’s my second attempt to write this form. Thank you so much & have a nice weekend!

Copyright © Galeo DS | Year Posted 2013

Details | Limerick | |

Now What Do You Want On Your Pizza

I ordered a large pizza pie
What do you want on it asked guy
His question a pearl
Set my mind awhirl
A sexy young girl answered I

Copyright © Martin Kloess | Year Posted 2013

Details | Limerick | |

Lathered to Leathered

Hey barber, give me a shoe and a shine As he's lathered he feels just fine Then he views the shoe shiner Wow, what breasts, nothing finer My hands on them I wish they were mine Young lady, let's spend time in a motel room Get to know each other, vroom vroom I'm married, och, you'll be fine I'll pay, say your working overtime You tell him, the barbers my groom . Challenged to write this based on a joke!

Copyright © James Fraser | Year Posted 2015

Details | Limerick | |

Ego Elevator

Stop by for a six-pack of beer
‘Hello!’ Smiles the pretty cashier
‘May I see your ID?
(Are you KIDDING me?
You just made my day AND my year!)

‘Store policy’ She says with a blush
(Is she FLIRTING? Does she have a crush?)
Intuition grows crisper
When I hear a soft whisper
‘Anyway, are you in a big rush?’

Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2013

Details | Limerick | |

A Girl from france


Copyright © Warner Baxter | Year Posted 2014

Details | Free verse | |

The Dreaded First Kiss

Oh how I recall the agony and worry
Over the first proper grown up kiss
That was supposed to send you floating among the stars
On a voyage of euphoria and endless bliss.

French kissing
I'd seen them do it here in England too
Even the monkey's did it in the zoo
Did you have to be French?.

The one's they did on TV and wrote about in songs
What if my breath stunk or I got it wrong
The lips might just not fit
I'd be laughed at and the talk of the village
The local clown
But I knew it was something I had to do
A part of growing up whenever
It came around.

I'd practice kissing the back of my hand
Even my pillow and no not our family dog willow
It can'r be they hard do you suck or blow?
It was a great mystery I'd yet to know.

How I'd daydream for hours in my room
Wrapped up in a cosy warm kiss fest hopelessly in love
With a girl in school ahhhhhh what bliss
Imaging kiss after kiss
I'd given a Quick peck to a girl before
Bur now I was nearly a man
And I wanted to kiss until my lips were sore.

The day finally came by the side of a garage
I forget her name
The butterflies fluttered in my belly
This was it just like on telly
We both stood there lips together like glue
Both not knowing what to do
There was no suction as I recall 
I felt so embarrassed
There wasn't much life in her at all.

But as my experiments eventually got  much better with practice
I just wanted to kiss and never stop 
The girls parents often tried to prise us apart
Well they did need to eat I suppose and get some sleep
But me I'm addicted kissing is so sweet.

Peter Dome. Copyright.2015. May.

Copyright © Peter Dome | Year Posted 2015

Details | Limerick | |

Girl from Mars

I wrote this way back in sixth grade & I have been able to recite it since, actually the
only poem of mine that I actually have memorized, such a shame! anyways read on:

There once was a girl from mars
Who ate and ate candy bars
But then she got sick
And decided to lick
The mud of a small purple car

~we even had to illustrate it & everything, but so sorry I can't attach that one with it :) 

*Thanks much for reading

Copyright © Crystal Cross | Year Posted 2010

Details | Haiku | |

just a girl

i am but a girl
in an old woman's body
wanting to break out

Copyright © karen croft | Year Posted 2012

Details | Free verse | |


take control
be tough

strap on those six-guns
silver spurs
and leather
cowboy chaps

throw on the saddle
and ten-gallon cowboy hat
mount him slowly
and keep it steady
there now

speed it up
pull back hard
and ride him rough
be tough


Copyright © RUDOLPH RINALDI | Year Posted 2013

Details | Prose Poetry | |

A Mercenary-Based Acquaintance

A young pretty lady, seeking company from an unknown
and to the hospitality of my open arms, she quickly lodge.
A stranger still remains an alien until some acquaintance is established
seeing what is right in front of me, such a feeling was purged.

Sweet conversation, chilly atmosphere and some sense of belonging
are benefits attached, hence nothing observable to judge.
Her youthful exuberance was glaringly into play,
but it was stimulating and an effective nudge.

She’s damn good! - Soft touches, sexual tricks, and erotic riddles,
all put my physiological smoke into heavy surge.
A sudden feeling of satisfaction and a ‘game over’ countenance surfaces,
she’s definitely an expert and what’s next is to dodge.

Taking a polite excuse, she run-walks to the bar’s comfort zone,
my instincts begin to define all her gestures to be a forge.
Then I realize my fat wallet is her hired escort,
officially making me a stranded victim of a beautiful scourge.

Copyright © Funom Makama | Year Posted 2015