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Funny Girl Poems | Funny Poems About Girl

These Funny Girl poems are examples of Funny poems about Girl. These are the best examples of Funny Girl poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | I do not know? | |

Nasty girl

   There you go again doing things that you are not suppose to be in and then you look at 
me like oh i'm so sweet if you only knew I can be a freak without showing it. Here they 
go listening to the rumors but i'm your friend so in the end I know that they are true. 
How could you do that with him and her and they were on the ground you were pretending to 
pick up gum? You need to be safe, making out with strangers girl I aint no saint but god 
what are you doing? I don't want to see you years from now telling me you got aids, I 
worry about you and I feel like your special so I even wrote about you come on look how 
much you mean to me. You like him I get it but how many other guys have you liked in the 
past. He's your only, he's a phony make sure he's not just in it for the prize because 
girl you never know some guys are. It's the truth and you need to listen, I don't mean to 
sound bossy but soon enough your name is going to be posted on all the bathrooms walls. 
Telling things that you haven't even done yet. But you will front about it, Lie again. 
Telling everyone it's happened how do we know what's real or fake. I love your 
personality I wish I could steal it, Your loud, and flirty, daring and smart girl you got 
too much heart to be showing it to everyone who wants a sip. this is for all the nasty 
girls out there who think I don't know what i'm saying just ask anyone of them who are 
dead now or are on the streets prostitiuting. Don't be afraid to be a freak it's healthy 
but sometimes it's better when it's secret closet freaks have more fun.


Details | Lyric | |

You Won't Tell Them How You Lied

[verse-1]
Tonight it feels like, the end of the world
Tonight you showed me, you were never my girl
I wonder do you know, what my heart is doing
Well girl it's breaking in two, since you've gone

[verse-2]
Go ahead tell those lies, to all your friends
Go ahead tell them, what a big fool i've been
I wonder will you tell them, you have a heart of stone
Or will you call them, and joke about me on the phone

[chorus]
Well be sure to tell them, how you broke my heart
And how funny it was, when I set down and cried
Tell them how, you tore my world apart
'Cause I know, you won't tell them how you lied

[verse-3]
You're gonna have to be careful, when you're drinking
You're gonna have to be sober, when you're bragging
You'll have to learn to shut your mouth, when your wasted
Or everyone will no your a liar, and how your mind is twisted

[chorus]
Well be sure you tell them, how you broke my heart
And how funny it was, when I set down and cried
And tell them how, you tore my world apart
'Cause girl I know, you won't tell them how you lied


Details | Imagism | |

My Secret Love Affair

Even though our time is just
A moment here and there
To me you’ll never be 
The average everyday affair

I know I’m just a picture 
In the memory of your mind
The girl you keep a secret
The girl you leave behind

There was a time I’d lay awake 
And dream of you and I
There was a time I wanted more
There was a time I’d cry

For love is never easy
When it’s given just by one
Love is never easy 
When for him it’s just for fun

Love is never easy 
When you think that it’s for real
But when the spell is broken
It's not love, but lust you feel

Your dreams diminish one by one
Illusions fade away
And in their place reality
Has come to have its say

So now I know the secret 
To a passionate affair
To just enjoy the moment
To live without a care

To take each moment as it comes 
With eyes now open wide
But always with your secret love
You just enjoy the ride...


Details | Free verse | |

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!


Details | Couplet | |

HELLO KITTY

There sits my bonnie girl, frilly, lacy, all pink and pretty She boasts of an enviable collection of cute stuff - all Hello Kitty! A pearly, stone-studded shiny pink Kitty bracelet With matching rings and hair clips to tame her silky ringlets, A stylish pair of pink comfy kitty flip-flops To go with her smooth stretchy night wear tops! A sassy little Hello Kitty cross-sling bag she wears Pairing up with chic pink-framed kitty glares, Kitty pencils, erasers and rulers in a well-stocked tuck box Her fancy kitty pouches and folders she invariably locks! A multi-compartment kitty wallet to hoard her loose change All geared for summer with her Hello kitty swimming range, A glittery Kitty lunch box to pack her school snack As she sets off with her pink kitty back pack, Water tastes better in a kitty sippy water-bottle Pink all the way, for nothing else she'll settle! She'd paint the world kitty pink, if the choice is hers Well, I wouldn't be surprised if one fine day she purrs!! 19th Jan 2013


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Fashion of Passion

I saw a girl whose legs were spangled,
They were so long that they easily tangled.
And when she wore her high heeled shoes,
She was a package no man could refuse.
Because when she walked she started to sway,
And set things in motion just the right way.
Lines of young men will stare as she passes,
Hoping for a smile or a bat of her lashes.
But the beautiful girl can’t stop to flirt,
Because her shoes make her feet hurt.
And all she wants is to walk in bare feet,
So when each day ended she’d always retreat.
Off came her shoes when she entered the door.
Because of the pain that she couldn’t ignore.
She’d rub her feet with a smile on her face,
Remembering how well she’d run the day’s race.
The look in their eyes gave her great satisfaction,
She’d received the rewards of each man’s reaction.
Alone in her room she’d sit with her prize,
Her two feet swollen to the next larger size.
I’m not sure which ones are more confused,
The girl herself or the men that she’d used,
To me it seems that she’s playing a game,
And when she wins it she’s alone and lame.
I don’t really get just why she’d play,
What dividends can it possibly pay?
I guess it depends on defining your passion,
And I’ve never been one to understand fashion.

For the Genius or Criminal? contest


Details | Limerick | |

Birds -N- Bees

Your raging hormones you must ignore
For desires will shake you to your core
Listen to your heart 
Before you embark
Make love with someone you truly adore.

Sciences class teaches us what we should know
About body parts and where they should go
Willie goes in Muff
Quicken breaths we huff
All consumed till body fluids flow.

But alas the girl did not have none
Boy finished before girl was done
He is satisfied
She is horrified
Damn the hype about two joining as one.


Details | Limerick | |

Now What Do You Want On Your Pizza

I ordered a large pizza pie
What do you want on it asked guy
His question a pearl
Set my mind awhirl
A sexy young girl answered I


Details | Limerick | |

Day One To Three

Day one of my regular period,
He always think I’m not in good mood;
         Seeing me, he runs away
         Do you think I like that way?
My heart isn’t hard as piece of wood.

He’s still single  and he lives alone,
He doesn’t know woman’s situation;
         Wearing napkins in three days
          So uneasy on my ways,
Yet, he’s seeking special attention.

Day two comes, he’s still so hesitant,
He wants me to shout at a distant;
         Is he gentle man or gay?
         He believes what other’s say
On monthly days, I’m not impatient!

Third day is said to be our last day,
Here he comes saying, “Babe, I’m sorry”
        Can I make love with you now?
        I believe you, I swear- bow.
Babe, it’s my third day, please go away.

July 4, 2013




Note:
Some people believe  that some women aren’t in good mood during their monthly period. But, for me, I don’t know;))))) . What I know is, I just love sleeping during these days. I’m always so so sleepy;))))))). 

 This was especially inspired by the Day One Poem writing contest of  my dearest poet sis Linda. The poem was closed when I was about to enter. Anyway,  I’m still sharing it with you  trying my best again to make you smile. I hope you’ll like it & I hope I did this limerick right. It’s my second attempt to write this form. Thank you so much & have a nice weekend!


Details | Limerick | |

Ego Elevator

Stop by for a six-pack of beer
‘Hello!’ Smiles the pretty cashier
‘May I see your ID?
(Are you KIDDING me?
You just made my day AND my year!)

‘Store policy’ She says with a blush
(Is she FLIRTING? Does she have a crush?)
Intuition grows crisper
When I hear a soft whisper
‘Anyway, are you in a big rush?’


Details | Light Poetry | |

Dear Miss Monkey Manners VIII

You can't tell me that you didn't see this coming.

Dear Miss Monkey Manners, can you spare a minute? 
I know that you help apes in trouble and I am knee deep in it. 
I have a girl I’ll call Mary Beth, she’s the banana of my eye, 
But I found out that she’s been seen swinging with another guy. 
I could accept it if it were another ape but this guy is a human man, 
I’ve asked around and in the jungle he calls himself Tarzan. 
I’ve been working my way up in hopes of one day leading the troupe, 
Until now I’m finally the most respected challenger in the group. 
I think that I might be alpha worthy, I hope so, but here’s the thing 
Everyone in the whole dang jungle now refers to him as king. 

Dear Alpha male wannabe, are you saying that you know Tarzan? 
If you know where he’ll be on Saturday night, I think I have a plan. 
I know that you want her back and I’m sure that your girl is sweet, 
But only I can do the things that will make his life complete. 
You see he and I have dated before and I know what makes him fall, 
I can do something special for him that’s how he got his jungle call. 
Once we’re back together he won’t remember your girl’s name, 
Then you can be her hero and free her from this shame. 
And as for me and Tarzan, well you’d better stick a banana in your ear, 
Because the screaming sounds of the king are the only sounds you’ll hear.


Details | Narrative | |

Red In The Inside, But Black In The Outside

This Poem is about the 'hard to get' attitude ladies portray to interested guys.

Despite my unbelievable swag repugnance is her reaction to my flow despite giving no attention to her she seeks every opportunity to shout "NO!" I seldom want to be friendly but she spits on me like a bitter foe I then don't give a damn about her and she takes it like a heavy blow Out of nothing, she creates a scene but all I can do is shake my head and say Oh! the more I mingle, the worse she gets but I'll not succumb and act so low she flaunts her male acquaintances for me to notice Okay! You have admirers, so? I guessed this is a one time attitude but it has been occurring seven weeks in a row When I register my presence around her her body rhythm increases as if in physio trying so hard to pretend makes her seem like a shy dancing Buffalo Then, I make her seem not existing it's not my fault; you reap what you sow signs of her sufferings begin to show as her body trembles in sight of me from head to toe what a pleasant feeling this brings seeing her drown in her own woe Finally! She concedes defeat and already surrendering showing by the way she's changing like melting snow now playing the nice girl, but my ignore? Makes her want to stone me with a Hoe I'm beginning to compromise emotionally too and I'm scared she will get fed up and go so, I create my chance and kiss her as she shows her joy like a swelling dough revealing her hypocrisy, exhibited right from the beginning. Since this feeling is now reciprocated, she shrugs off the attitude and dumps it below as a new damsel now emitting with an everlasting glow.


Details | Limerick | |

A Girl from france

THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM FRANCE WHO DANCED ON STAGE WITH NO PANTS SHE SHOWED OFF HER TUSH BUT NEVER HER BUSH SHE LEFT THE CROWD IN A TRANCE


Details | Free verse | |

yippi-yi-yo-ki-ya

yippi-yi-yo
take control
be tough
cowgirl

strap on those six-guns
silver spurs
and leather
cowboy chaps

throw on the saddle
and ten-gallon cowboy hat
mount him slowly
and keep it steady
there now

speed it up
pull back hard
and ride him rough
be tough
cowgirl

yippi-yi-yo
ki-ya





Details | Light Poetry | |

One Night in Stroud

I stumbled drunkenly through Stroud
Passed the kebab van on the hill,
When all at once I saw a crowd
Of ladettes – taunting the old bill;
Just for a lark, just for a wheeze,
Flirting and dancing, dressed to tease.

Bedecked with bling, drinking cheap wine,
A clowder of cats out to play,
Perfume and bags by Calvin Klein
All you can eat slapper buffet.
Looking for violence not romance,
Tossing the V’s in fighting stance.

The plods approached askance, as they
Ignored them and crouched down to pee;
The deluge nearly washed away,
The council’s prized floral display! 
I gazed – amazed - at just how short;
Their skirts were and indeed how taut.

Often now – I sit down and cry
(Sometimes it puts me off my food) 
When I recall what I did spy
The female form so crass and rude;
Those harpies in search of cheap thrills,
Stooped - pissing on the daffodils.



(apologies to Mr Wordsworth)


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Free verse | |

Everybody

Love me tonight girl we won't meet again ,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby, ha ha ha ha,
Let your body decide what it does ,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
I know it's straight to the point,
But I'd rather be straight up and straight forward,
Instead of playing with your heart and your mind,
Games are waste of time, now we can do the nasty,
And do what the do and see what the does,
Either we gonna love what we do to each other,
Or just let it be what it was,
No harm, no foul, no commitment, no vows,
Maybe a contract or two,
But by that time I'm already tired of the way you like it, oh,
And let your body decide, exactly what it does,
But it's no secret baby, everybody fücks,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody fücks,
Now I can hear your body calling me,
Tell me what it is, what's gon be,
Only got one night cause I'm...,
Lil mama is a bad one, ain't she? 
Maybe she might be a little timid,
Love when I get it,
Or I might even give a text when I'm finish,
Been doing all this talking, let's get it,
And you can tell me what you wanna do,
I guarantee you can do that,
Or you can teach me like a thing or two,
But I bet you I already knew that,
So one night one time baby girl,
Let's take this chance,
We ain't trying to be love strung,
But I know that Everybody ****s,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
Let your body go, let your feeling show,
Say what's on your mind, I already know,
I can read your eyes, see your body sign,
(Every sign you give baby) with a little bump and grind,
Nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Baby there ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
There ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Baby there ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
Believe that believe that baby,
Everybody ****s…


Details | Ballade | |

Lisa Maree

Dedicated to my darling daughter. Lisa Maree, the kindest girl in the world


Lisa Maree

Lisa Maree, you baffle me
You just don’t seem to care
You throw your money all around
And people who won’t share
Will try to take you for a ride
And you can’t always see
What some folk try to do to you
You’ve too much trust in thee.

Lisa Maree, it’s plain to see
That you’re a special girl
Though sometimes you go off on one
And mind goes in a whirl
Your heart is gold, pure solid gold
You’re as soft as heated honey
You have a sense of humor too
You even think 'you’re' funny.

Some might find you hard to take
These fickle kinds of folk
Will run you down for being you
And treat you like a joke
But fickle folk don’t mean a thing
You’re far above the rest
When you are helping someone out
That’s when you’re at your best.

23 August 2013 @ 1817hrs





Details | Limerick | |

A Pricey Valentine

My valentine ever to be.
The girl of my dreams came to me.
   She wanted to play
   so I had to pay.
Satisfaction is guaranteed
 
My valentine's price was too much.
Her business kept all men in touch.
   Appointments were made
   Men met in the shade.
A call girl I found out as such!  

My valentine's not what she said.
I found out her heart was not red.
   She took all I had.
   But man she was bad.
Was worth it I took her to bed!! 


Written for Francine Roberts Valentine's Day Limerick


Details | Free verse | |

awaiting Cinderella

around and around
up and down
the merry-go-round 
goes round 

again and again 
and again
as the sounds of music play
fond of youth and the gay
and the bells 
in the  one horse open slay

flashes of color and detail flash quickly by
elegant wooden carved animals

with shiny painted tails
prancing horses with nostrils flaring
regal lion with full curly mane staring
and a golden chariot awaiting fair
Cinderella


Details | Free verse | |

In love for the first time and counting

It's all Ok
the birds are chirping
the sky is blue
the trees are green 
and so are you
i fell in love
for the first time
my girl is pretty
my girl is smart
she never burps
she never farts
she is an angel
and she is fun
nothing is missing
and it's all fine
today i'm trying to be nice
see the gay couple down the street
kissing each-other like little birds
the neighbor is common thief
must have a strong reason for it
my boss can keep more
from my paycheck
and go away and take a break
i'll work for you my entire life
and don't pay me the  overtime 
today Snooki looks just like J Lo
and the mule next door
like Barry White
God this is just a perfect day
i'm all pumped-up
and that's OK...







Details | Light Poetry | |

A Good Night's Sleep

When King David was old they covered him in clothes, but he got no heat,
So they sought for him a pretty girl who was innocent and sweet.

Let her stand before you lord and in your bosom nestle,
We think that it might warm you up if you should start to wrestle.

So they tacked up signs all through the land and put an ad in the paper,
“Wanted one beautiful girl to sleep with the king;” it really was a caper.

One day Abishag the Shunammite came to interview for the position,
They could see that she was qualified there was no need for an inquisition.

For Abishag was a beauty rare with charms displayed in generous proportions,
And was so flexible that she could warm a king with several notable contortions.

There was a time in King David’s life when this would run into trouble deep,
But he was now way too old and he just wanted to get some sleep.

What if this would have remained the accepted way to beat the winter chills,
I can tell you one thing for sure; no one would have invented sleeping pills.

And even though it’s in the Bible it won’t ever be a part of my life,
I don’t think that I’d be able to talk fast enough to ever convince my wife.


The First Book of Kings - Chapter 1
1:1Now king David was old and stricken in years; and they covered him with clothes, but he got no heat. 1:2Therefore his servants said to him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and cherish him; and let her lie in your bosom, that my lord the king may keep warm. 1:3So they sought for a beautiful young lady throughout all the borders of Israel, and found Abishag the Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 1:4The young lady was very beautiful; and she cherished the king, and ministered to him; but the king didn't know her intimately. 


Details | Rhyme | |

I Shouldn't Have Watched Girls Gone Wild

I used to watch those Girls Gone Wild videos but I stopped.
The last one that I saw was so shocking that my jaw dropped.
At first everything was fine but then I suddenly screamed "No, not her!"
The reason why I suddenly screamed was because I saw my daughter.
Seeing her on that video nearly gave me a heart attack, I was in a bad shape.
I called the Girls Gone Wild phone number and I ordered all of those tapes.
I burned every one of those tapes after I doused them with gas.
Then I told my daughter that if she ever removes her top again, I'll kick her ass.
I made a firm decision right there and then.
I swore never to watch Girls Gone Wild again.

(This is a fictional poem)


Details | Limerick | |

another girl from france

THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM FRANCE ON THE STREET SHE WOULD SING AND DANCE ONE DAY THERE WAS SUCH A HUSH ‘CAUSE SHE SHOWED A BIT OF TUSH WHEN SHE RIPPED OUT THE SEAM OF HER PANTS


Details | Imagism | |

dont tell

don’t ask! don’t tell!
Daddies in the well.
Its ok you wont go to hell,
don’t ask ,don’t tell !
Never kiss and tell,
don’t tell lies ,go into your shell,
I asked ,I told ,
Now am in a hole.
Living like a hermit,
Washing off the scabs of shame,
Believing I’ am to blame.
don’t ask! don’t tell I’ am drowning in the well.
Sinking into the depths of hell,
Floating all alone.


Details | Rhyme | |

Miss

Miss says hello, 
her favourite colour is yellow , 
Miss wears a hat , 
looking like a cat .

Miss goes pink , 
wearing high heals , 
Miss wears pink , 
its time for her meal . 

Miss love shopping , 
and just hates mopping , 
Miss loves red , 
and her heals are made of lead ..... :-)

-Saanvi Dua 
__________________________________________________________
FOR 'JUST THAT ARCHAIC POET'S' CONTEST - PUT YOUR BEST RHYME FORWARD !!


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Fools Tale

There once was a man who had found true love yet squandered it away, 
And for this one transgression is tormented to this day. 

He found the girl to call his own and bade her to be his wife, 
But to the chapel he came too late and the poor girl had taken her life. 

The day that they were pledged to marry he’d started for the church, 
But highway men had stalled his progress thus leaving her in the lurch. 

And with her dying breath she uttered the words to a horrible curse, 
Now wandering has become his penance with no way ever to reverse. 

The only name by which he’s called brings laughter from the cruel, 
For he is the one who is known to all by name of the wandering fool.


Details | Couplet | |

Fur Ball

<               my little girl came to me and asked for a pet
                 to me my heart just hasn't been quite set

                 but who could resist those baby brown eyes
                 and all those little wimpers and desirable sighs

                 so off we went in our broken down wagon
                 where the rear end you could tell was sagging

                 to petland is where we went
                 pocketbook really took a dent

                 odie and garfield was their chosen names
                 two bunny hampsters very different but the same

                 oh my little girl was not yet done
                 said mama we need hampster ball so they can have alot of fun

                  and don't forget their bedding liners
                  so their living will be much finer

                  but first you must buy them their cage
                  oh my little girl is quite smart for her age

                  she knows they like fruit and snacks
                  so she doubled order with ten sacks


                   ring ring ring ding ding ding
                   did it's cash register ever so did sing


                   eighty five fifty
                   well ain't that nifty


                   handed lady one hundred
                   mumbling under breath was said


                   left store in a hurry
                   with our clothes looking so dam fury




Written By Katherine Stella  7/3/11

Entry For Francine Robert's
Pick A Pet Contest
G.L. All


Details | ABC | |

The A to Z of Girls I've Met II



I had gotten to that stage,
Where true love was but a mirage.
When one is hurt too many times
By these daughters of Eve,
The heart must surely cease to give
Until such a time as right
To smile again and see the light.
Miranda, fairest of them all
Adored our trips to the mall.
I could tell from her charming eyes
That her love would be my demise,
So I fled with what coins I had left,
For her love was akin to theft.
That was when I met my Nora.
By all that’s sweet, she had an aura!
Pretty young thing, genteel with her voice,
Of many boys she was the choice.
Flawless, petite, her looks were fine.
I swore by love to make her mine.
Lovely were those nights we shared.
But like I’m sure you must have heard,
The flawless ones are just as marred within.
She had a love affair with gin.
Then came the age of Olivia,
The sight of whom did make me shiver.
Kind with words, light on her feet,
The kind of girl you’d love to meet.
Many were those that saw the sight
Of our love, both day and night.
Looks of envy, of jealousy
I mistook them all to be,
For they were looks of pity,
 As it turned out my Olivia
Was liberal with her Banana.
Pauline rescued me from distress,
Mended me like a seamstress.
I gave my heart, to her my all,
I felt so bad she fled with Paul.
 Was at the base, looking up,
When I saw a damsel stop.
Lovely, round, Quinta was her name.
Her looks were calm, her manners tame
I really wished she’d stay the same,
 But to when she left, from when she came,
Deception was her only game.
 My path to love had been so rough,
So hard, rugged, it made me tough.
It wasn’t long ‘fore I met Rose,
Pretty, sweeter by the dose.
To her I took an instant liking.
But once we went bike riding,
She met a long lost cousin,
T’wards whom she showed uncanny liking.
Well, that was fair, or so I thought,
Till the day in bed, them both I caught.
Like I said, I’d become tough
And her little act was not enough
To get this old stallion
Weep from pain and feel alone.
I marched right on.
The wind brought in Sylvia,
So pious, in love with prayer.
Nearly was I fooled
By her style, the way she schooled. 
Saintly demon she proved to be,
Sworn to stay the same eternally.
Thelma just didn’t get it right.
She lit a quarrel, then a fight.
Her seasoning too was prone to loiter.
It’s thanks to her I’m free from goiter!
Ursula, a foreign girl I met,
 Was close to base and thickly set.
Many were the times her mind was set
On losing all my savings in a bet.
She saw no bars,
She kept no laws.
The time we shared was but a loss.
Why all this fuss?
Why all this pain?
I held them all in such disdain,
And swore by life I would detain
My heart with bonds of chain
Till came that time when girls be sane.
At last it came, or so I thought,
As Vanessa, misfortune brought.
Her looks were fine,
Her smile was nice, 
But all she knew to make was rice.
Winifred too followed the cue,
And like you know I wish I knew,
She was a night rider,
A hidden foe, a crouching tiger.
Many were the nights
My phone will ring,
And I’d hear the same song sing: 
“Winnie got drunk and hit the gutter,
By all that’s holy, please come get her.”
Xena was one like none I’d met.
She broke a lie without a sweat.
I recall one time I heard
Her on the phone, caught every word.
“Who was that?” I had to ask.
It proved to be no sweating task!
“It was my dad”, I think she said,
 But she forgot her dad was dead!
I had to go, I could not stand
The way her stories sank in sand.
Yvonne, this girl I met in school,
Had eyes that made you drool.
I did her bid, I played her fool,
It’s sad to know I was her tool.
Zenobia, legs that wouldn’t stop,
Passed by and made my molars drop!
Scantily clad, she caught my eye,
That’s how it works, don’t ask me why!
I loved her gold and blue hair dye.
This was it, I’d found my love
Sent to me from up above.
But she was a business woman
Out to sell to the richest man.
“Does love exist?” I asked myself.
I should just shove it on a shelf.
Please don’t conclude, don’t get me wrong,
I love the ladies, mind not my song.
Just an art, nothing negative,
So please let’s not get sensitive.
This is fun, it’s all a joke. 
That was me just being a bloke!


Details | Lyric | |

I Am Single

Hello I am Single
So my introduction will only take a minute
Well lets open some champagne while we are at it
Feel free to smile I am Single.

I am one with myself
I am opening all shelves
All protecting shells have been broken
No harsh word hasn't been spoken.

Like birds during summer feel free
Commitment is out of my vocab
I won't charge you I"m free
While you at it... here is a herb.

I am Single
I am one with myself
Oh and my herb.
Oh no! I need help.