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Funny Education Poems | Funny Poems About Education

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Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Attention: WORD NERDS--------- The Eight Parts of Speech

---------------------- "Word Nerds" (like me)...
************Please Have Fun & Read VERY Closely:)***********


now and again
a word 
sneakily obscure
approaches the fog in me
screams its name 
suddenly 
apropos adverbs appear
clearly 
startling 
perplexing 
precarious adjectives
slick little nouns
caught hiding 
beyond babbling brooks
sent to exile
defiling crooks
"pro"fessional nouns
jailed
beneath eight parts of speech
preposition'ed 
pre'fixed subjects
elusive predicates
slithering suffix'ation
turn-ing key
delicately 
through holes
freeing vocabulary
trapped 
within prison walls
synonyms 
pen bars 
filled in the past 
participles
plagued 
like Job's tedious job 
of siphoning
deciphering 
homographs from heteronyms 

words never mind...
 
they wind the mind
gliding 
in the wind...





Details | I do not know? | |

Victim

I never wanted it to be this way, I never wanted to feel the pain. Bruises all over me. 
Invisible but I can see them.

You hurt me everywhere. My heart is shattered and the blood has frozen. But I won't be 
your victim.

Stare at me like this all you want. Try and hurt me with your words just as long as you 
don't use fists.

I don't ever want to be your victim. I refuse to be one of those few girls who end up 
losing their whole world.

Love isn't supposed to hurt, but maybe I was just naive because the moment I loved you my 
heart never stopped bleeding. 

I won't be your victim, I won't run away. If you have something to say I won't avoid it. 
I'm not scared I can take whatever you try to throw.

Don't hold back I promise you I will not cry. The moon is shining just like all the 
diamonds that you called pretend love I can't even imagine why I fell so hard.

It's never clear until the glass of water is gone. But now that you've gulped me to the 
last I want you to know I won't be your victim.

I kissed vulnerability goodbye the very last time I cried over you and I won't be your 
victim your not even worth it.

If you feel like you must shove a door in my butt but don't make me afraid because I 
don't want to be I don't want to be your victim. 

Let go of my hand so I can peacefully drive away if you want me to I can drive over you 
as well. But don't make it seem like i'm causing you pain because it's obvious to see 
that I've been a victim and it's a shame.

But I don't want to be it anymore then you so just let me go and I won't have to run. I 
promised you forever I laugh at this now you were never eternity love in my mind.

 I kept counting until the madness in ourselves would corrupt. Tears flash down my eyes 
as I speed down the lanes. Two bottles of Gin and I think i'm going insane.

It wasn't until I crashed into a tree that I realized I was never your victim I was 
merely your suicide mission. 


Details | Rhyme | |

I Didn't Do My Math Homework

I didn’t do my math homework!
I watched T.V instead!
I better come up with an excuse... and quick!
Or else I’m surely dead!

My brother tore it!
It’s in the garbage!
Mom says it causes brain damage!

My power was out!
I had the flu!
I was having trouble excreting my poo!

You know, why even bother?
My excuses are so lame!
I know! My dog ate my homework!
Now to find a dog I can blame...


Details | Couplet | |

Loony Tunes

<                                        Cascading lakes and streams
                                           The loon stands out it seems

                                           Minnesota's state bird
                                           I know it must sound absurd


                                           Adopted in nineteen sixty one
                                           Wails and yodels heard under the sun


                                          Black and white bearing red eyes
                                          Wingspans five feet can make one cry


                                          Body lengths up to three feet
                                          Yet  clumsy on lands and moss peat


                                          They are high speed flyers
                                          And great underwater divers


                                          They can dive up to ninety feet
                                          In pursuit of fish they want to eat

                                      
                                         They are even on our license plates
                                         An critical habitat drawn on metal slates


                                         Twelve thousand of these unique birds
                                         God that has to be a lot of turds

 
                                        But for now I'll enjoy it's captured views
                                        Of this beautiful loon and it's most colorful hues








Written By Katherine Stella
Entry For Mini - Blog  Beautiful Bird Contest
By Constance ~ A Rambling Poet


Details | Haiku | |

It is now

Ain't a word, you said.
but it takes a daring gust 
for things start to be.


Details | Rhyme | |

Ignorant Time

                 
IGNORANT TIME I went up before a judge because it is a crime to be at all ignorant in this place and time. I was living evidence and the judge he saw this too so I awaited his decision as to what he planned to do. He said "This is my verdict" with a very solemn look "I hereby sentence you to a year of reading books" I said "Judge we've got a problem, though it's guilty that I plead in no way can I do the time because I cannot read." 'then it's back to school with you' he said 'and I don't care if you have to spend the rest of life in there.' I said 'Judge I will do anything that this court deems fit but it was in that very place I became illiterate!'


Details | Acrostic | |

Abundance

A is for apathy, “You all know you are!”

B is for itching, “Why can’t I have a car?”
U is for the umbilical cord. You never cut from Ma.
N is for neutral, “Why should you take a stand?”

D is for dependent, “Hey, one always needs a hand!”
A is for angry, “Well, why the hell shouldn’t I be?”
N is for nostalgia, ‘cause in the past we’re free.
C is for the ocks ;) who run the whole damn show!.
E is for euthanasia, “When your old just GO!”

And all that spells abundance, in case you could not tell?
Or went to school in Texas and never learned to spell.


Details | Light Poetry | |

' He's Company ... '

‘ He’s Company ! … ’


He’s Not Down With Misery
 and Not Out with The In(flated)-Crowds
But He’s Up On Lady Liberty …
Laughing, New York-Minute, Out Loud !

‘Cause … if  Misery, Loves Company …
Company, Sure Don’t Love Misery !
Company … is Taking Care of Business
Strictly, Take into Account, Swiftness

… and Staying Out The Red
Things, Misery Cut and Bled
All Over His Spread-Sheets
Which, He Washed and Hung On Wall Street

Now… Here’s Her Penny for Your Thoughts Again …
Saying, ‘Get Me Out of This Rain-Check, Claim !
Man … She’s A Bottom-Line – Pain !
Boy, Throw Her Some Chunk-Change …

His Blank Check, is What Misery’s After
But, Company is The Man, and ‘ The Manager ‘
He’s Telling Misery, with Interest …
‘ … Girl, Stay Outta’ My Business !

… and I May Pay Misery A Visit …
‘Cause I’m Lady Liberty … Unlimited !
I’m Platinum, and I Got My Hand Up …
‘ Don’t Make Me Put It Down and Whip Your, You Know What !

‘Cause Company … Gets The Job Done !
Show Them How It’s Done … Hon !
Look … You Know You Got Lady Liberty 
 ( and, I’m gonna Keep This Fortune 500 Company )             

For: Jimbo  (James Marshall Goff) 
Business, Strictly Business (smile)
Because You Seem to Get 
and Like, my Kooky, Double-Talking
Witticisms  (Enjoy Between Your Classes)
and Keep That Education Coming

                MoonBee


Details | Rhyme | |

What Do You Expect

My mind is blank
So what's new
I listen 
And my ears leak too.
It seems my mouth
Is all that works
And what comes out
Makes me a jerk.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Poem In Class

This is a poem in class
3rd period to be exact
Lotion smelling all good
Because it’s seaweed extract
Looking good
With my red K- Swiss
Other girls envy
‘cus they wish they could taste this.
And lace this
Ladies just face it
Me myself is too complex
And y’all are too basic
I’m confident in my looks
That’s me being honest
Some say I am handsome
I say “No” to be modest
6 foot and 1 inch tall
Most haters want to test me
Blatant and/or indirectly
It makes me feel good when their girls say I’m sexy
But check me
Outside of my school
I’m a fresh young man
Even in my uniform I look cool
I am so self-confident
I am not conceited
I will remain the same 
Even when my looks are depleted
Besides all the crime and drama
I love this world.
‘Cus behind every guy like myself
Is a sexy ass girl
I know a dollar worth of dimes
But only one of them is mine
And when ol’ girl step on the scene
The whole scene shine
She hot like fire 
She makes other niggaz melt
‘Cus them niggaz wish they
Could feel what I felt
As my heart moves
To the beat of her drums
Her hotness gives me heartburn
Now I am taking Tums
Not the original
But extra pain relief
She has the mythical booty…I mean beauty
The goes beyond belief
I got a queen in the making
Sizzling like bacon
Every other couple compared to us
Is just faking and waiting
Waiting for their time to shine
And the chance to recover what’s mine
They are mad because 
Their status in society has declined
It’s plain to see
They want to be where I be at
They will never be like us
But why can’t they see that?


Details | Rhyme | |

What is Poetry But Text...

Sensitive ears of nature I have 
found.
Poetry is not the sight of words 
but the sound.

Spoken,sung or played on a guitar...
Human, machine,instrument or nature.
Any of these are cool as long
as they're written down.

A flute playing, a bird singing ,
a car engine starting. 
Someone whipping , chopping,
cooking in the kitchen.

Hear it first, then write it down.
For what is poetry but the text 
of 
the sound that you've found?


Details | I do not know? | |

Deep -Naj (2002)

A mind so deep,
A never-ending bottom,
A mountain so steep
A head that never sleeps.

Others pass words repeatedly been heard,
His words of wisdom derive from life,
And not from other people’s curd.
One story after the other as his life unfolds,
A real meaning that never ever goes cold.

Angels like you don’t belong in this heap,
I’m the wealthiest person in the world to have you,
Our love is an ocean that’s infinitively growing deep
There’s no meaning for the words sadness or feeling blue.



Details | Verse | |

Ding Dong The Wicked Witch is Dead

Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Thatcher’s dead.

Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Thatcher’s dead.

Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Thatcher’s dead.

Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
Thatcher’s dead.


Details | Light Poetry | |

I'm Thristy

Clouds burst
   Crops thirst


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Blank Verse Rhyme

Blank Verse Rhyme

The master said “create blank verse in lines of ten”.
Form five Iambic feet without a rhyme.
“These five Iambic feet you must achieve”.
The verse will have a rhythm you can hear,
when studied closely this will be revealed.

For, lines of blank verse rhyming discontents
the master. “Do it over, take all night”!
The lines of blank verse sing a little song,
each syllable, each rhyme, you’ll hear them ring!
You’ll sing the tune of verses blank and pure.

And now I keep up with this blank verse trick,
I hear its tick ten syllables per line.
It rhymes so soft; I have it mastered now,
so naturally it falls right from my pen.
Oh, where will this blank verse rhyme find an end?

Yet, twenty lines of syllables came out
much faster still than I had thought they should.
I love each rhyme, the timing so precise,
I hope it pleased the eye and ear. I turned
it in, it came back very clearly signed

“Rejected”.


-Tiffany R-2009


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Job Interview

The HR person called me in… I was turning gray… Was he even twenty-one?
I wondered if the interview would go well, as he did fung shui the chairs around.
Offered a caramel expresso mocha late decaf, I told him I took my coffee black.
Alas my friend, it got progressively worse, this: our proverbial generational gap.

He asked me to explain, how I’d be the best personnel fit, for this illustrious job.
Ah! Experience I had in abounds, as I pulled out a 100-page resume, neatly bound.
That question, had me off and running, but I knew, I was in some trouble when…
I saw his eyes glaze over, and he ask me, ‘Have we made it into space yet?’

He smirked, when he ask, about ‘Recent’ applicable education, in the last 5 years.
I condensed my course certifications till he nearly fell off, his crazy chair, my dear!
He ask the projects worked on, unfortunately, all were government secret classified. 
So I added some of the numerous skills, that had been applied, till he almost cried.

I started with the job descriptions, but he didn’t like… that the names were so long.
And the abbreviations normally used, in this line of work, almost blew his mind.
Though I also got the feeling, he may have thought that I’d finally, lost mine, since…
My accomplishments had scads of stuff he’d never, ever, be able to comprehend...

You know, ‘things’ about the job, HR doesn’t care about or bother to be clued in.
Luckily all was saved, before the interviewers’ jaw, hit the floor around his chair.
Using a power point presentation, illustrations appeared, giving him a better clue.
I even gave him a burned DVD, set to the music of  ‘Live Free or Die Hard’, too.

He ask about items, he’d never heard of, you know, from way before he was born.
But got the feeling he’d be more attentive, talking about a computer game going on.
I didn’t lie about a thing, it’s not my fault some Companies are now closed down!
But I felt things were somewhat a success, as security finally came to lead me out…

Unfortunately, in the end, they hired a young one, and I couldn’t understand why.
He was a quiet, little, studious kid, who didn’t say a thing, but had stars in his eyes.
He didn’t understand any of the work involved, but his pay would be next to none.
But that's whom they got: until that company closed for work that couldn’t be done.

All because the HR Department didn't help them get the workers they did need.
I became self-employed, developing computer games, all the rage! Oh So Sweet!
Yes, I became a millionaire, with my own company, without HR, anywhere seen!
Now, we develop rockets to go into space, where I felt, that HR person should be.

Dedicated to all those Middle aged people stressed out after looking for a job.
Wife and Hubby Collaboration


Details | Rhyme | |

The library of ideas

 I thought I'd write some poetry,
Though my thinking was too blind.
So I called into the Ideas Library
To see what I could find.

I looked through rows of new ideas
but none of them appealed,
I turned and tripped and banged my head,
where ideas can be concealed.

If you bang your head extremely hard
You really do see stars.
but don't do this to loosen thoughts,
It's the riskiest method by far 

I spent the night in hospital,
Awakened every hour
I was advised to watch my step
And avoid the Ideas Tower.

I wonder if there is a shop
Where ideas and dreams are sold?
For just a small expenditure,
Put your creative mind on hold.

But if you can't afford to pay
The library is still there.
Just look around and use your mind.
Ideas are everywhere.

The interaction of the world
With vision,thought and mind,
Produces many new ideas.
Those who seek shall find.


Details | List | |

Rules in the eyes of a toddler

If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed, stepped on or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, must make her dirty
If it is sibling, must slap,kick,and fight.
If it has four legs, must squeeze tight until makes noise
If big person is on phone, must make lots of noise
If tv is not on cartoons, scream until they are
If food is not good, throw it, refuse to eat it and cry until big people give you something good


Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.


Details | Free verse | |

School day hell

They called it school
I called it hell 
From the huge imposing prison like doors
To the doom like toll of the bell
Everyday the same
Running for the school bus
Full of uncivilized Wild kids
Being pushed and shoved
Countless kids in uniform
Fearing the teachers and the day they were born
Satchel bags and lucky bags
Late for lessons again 
Going to the headmasters office 
For the cane ooh how my bum was in pain
Teacher at the blackboard
Pupils getting bored thinking about girls
Motorbikes and cars
Playing football in the yard
Playing sports in skirts and shorts
The one too big that moma bought
School desks fountain pens and ink
Boy how some of my classmates did stink
Trying to blow up the science lab
Bubbly gum and sherbert dabs
Giggling girls and bashful boys
Girls jutting out everywhere
Pigtails and ribbon on their hair
Always getting into a fight
Going home with a torn blazer and black eye every night
Lots of kisses on my homework
Rolling about in the dirt
Pouring ink into the headmasters aquarium
Holes in your trouser bum
Crafty cigarette hidden behind a wall
Morning assembly in the hall
School dinners you couldn't pick
Forced down your throat and made you sick
Being punished and kept behind doing lines
I must have wrote 'I must be good' a million times
Frog spawn put into teachers bag
Gas taps left on in the lab
The school nurse giving you a jab
Riot breaks out in class Running a race on sports day and coming last
Pea shooter and catapult Pulling your tongue out and being rude to adults
First love and nervous thumbled kiss
Girls with new sticky out bits
Hair growing in places it didn't before
Limbs aching and so sore
Always in trouble up to no good playing truant in the wood
Letting the tiers down on the headmasters car
Girls wearing training bra's
Exams were such a sham but wrote the answers under the bandage on my 
hand Teachers talking about things I didn't understand
What a waste of time I was going to be a pop star and soon a man
Those daydreams  of youth that still remain aloof
Hiding in the bushes watching  girls playing hockey and net ball on the field
I still recall how that used to feel
Long school summer holidays away from hell
School books thrown down the well
Then back to school again to days of terror
And pain up early facing hell.



Peter Dome,copyright.2014. July.


Details | Free verse | |

Excuses Excuses

If Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers, would you care? Would the peck be put in a glass jar? What if he dropped a hair in there? And, if Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet digging and found the jar that Piper had hidden in the muck, along side the skull of Cro-Magnon man? “Ahhh, NO we’ve found the hip girdle and he’s a she!” Well, ole Pipper’s pecker would have gone to the pie in the sky and Miss Muffet’s tuffet would have gone to compost; So, how would the archeologist know for sure? " Why the HIP, you hafta have hips, miles and miles and mile of hips… Baby you can be a hero of course just put that ‘orse behind the cart!” Heart, well it’s left the building too. “Geeezzz it was just a pump whatcha want from a pump?” Thump, thump, from the bump, bump, then ya hump, hump, and my goodness, we’re back to Peter Piper and his pecker? “NO, no, his peck of pickles and Muffet’s missin’ tuffet? Well, I say the stars, yes the stars, show the way, the celestial meaning of the id, the I, the you, the ego too, and love “Ahhhhhh love the excuse for it all!” The pickles, the muffins, the tuffet, the bumping the humpin’ The free for all of we!


Details | Rhyme | |

Did I waste my time

At first school was cool
Had to abide by one simple rule
Read and write
And never fight
Recite the alphabet
How easy can it get?
One plus one is two
A E I O U
Two times two is four
D O O R spells door
Maths was about addition and subtraction
Multiplication and division
Studied animals and apes
And all them shapes
Circles and triangles
Squares and rectangles
Pentagons, hexagons
Septagons, octagons
Nonagons and decagons
Then I grew a little and things got tough
The stuff got a bit rough
School became boring
Talk of junior-high bullying
I got scared and
The maths got weird
Areas and volumes
Cones and pyramids
Cords and sectors
Quantities and vectors
Pi r squared?
Half times base times height?
No way I’m getting these right
Positives and negatives
Radius and diameter
Areas, perimeters
Voltmeters and ammeters
More and more shapes
Rhombus, star and trapezium
Physics and chemistry
Lithium and helium
Biology and history
Mussolini, Hitler and Stalin,
And the famous wall of Berlin
I thought I was done
But things got less fun
I started to debit and credit
Economics and statistics
Differentiation and intergration
Poisson and normal distribution
Assignments, projects and dissertations
Now I’ve got the diplomas and degrees
But guess what
I’m just a poet
Now, tell me
Did I waste my time?


Details | Free verse | |

School Days 2

School days 2
Up in the morning, I due dread.
Running and screaming I hear in bed.
Back to school what a joy.
Reading, writing and no toys.
The roar of buses I hear them come.
Schools days prepare to begin.
Buses here and buses there.
When is the buses going to end?
I hear someone one shout "is it summer yet"
And It's the first day of school.


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?


Details | Limerick | |

Bow Pow

<                                    cakes and sausages on hot griddle
                                      uncle Leroy's dam dog just piddled
                                      slipped ~ slide across floor
                                      grabbed shotgun by front door
                                      now dam ole dog just plays an fiddle 



                            bow bow bow bow bow bow bow        bow ~ wow 
                            ow ow ow ow ow ow ow                       bow ~ ow 
                            with   tail    between     own  ~              legs 
                            now    dog    sings  ~    and  ~               brags
                            about cousin's daisies's  bad                 bow ~ pows
                  
                                                                                        
                                                                                     


Entry For John Freeman's
Slapstick Limerick Contest
Gl All

Poor Ole Dog LOL


Details | Limerick | |

Truth In Numbers

"THE whole truth and nothing but the truth" .......


I flunked my math test and I never felt so blue
Geometry I could just not do
Algebra came easy
Other subjects were breezy
Sadly off the honor roll I flew.

Was the very first time I failed a test
I should have cheated to avoid the stress
But that would be wrong
My morals were too strong
I felt like a failure I must confess.

Teacher moved my desk way up in the front
My eyesight is not the problem I grunt
He said, just pay attention
Or I will add detention
You will learn, his intentions were blunt.

Many hours I tried to comprehend
I think his teaching skills I did offend
Plenty of intimidation
Loads of frustration 
For I did not learn 'G' in the end.

By: Cecilia Macfarlane 02/27/12012
For: Truth!! Or Dare Contest
Sponsor: Destroyer ~ Poet 


Details | Senryu | |

Quit Running

mom say's
quit running !!!!
  {walk}


Details | Alliteration | |

Banana Boat Bob

<                        Banana ~ boat ~ Bob ~ is ~ a ~ slippery..... Boob
                          Thought ~ that ~  this ~ town ~ lost ~ it's .... groove
                          No ~ spice  ~  no ~  life ~ no  .... nothing
                          Little ~ lost ~ boy ~ now ~ looks ~ for ~ his ~ Lucy's ....  ring


                          When ~ where ~ what ~ or ~ even ......  why
                          I'll ~ inquire ~ insist ~ innovate ~ or ~ even  ..... lie
                          His ~ history ~ of ~ having ~ such ~ big ....... hamstrings
                          Maybe ~ even ~ mighty ~ magical ~ musical ~ fruits ~ and .... greens



                         Or ~ having ~ big ~ over-sized ~ onions ~ olives  ~ and ..... Kiwi
                         screw ~ this ~ he's ~ scum  ~ skewered ~ tossed ~ back ~ to ... sea
                         Poor ~ precious ~ pretty ~  Lucy ~  got .......    pranked
                         Cause ~ curious ~ Bob ~ couldn't ~ control ~ love ~ so ~ he ....  sank

              

                        All ~ alone ~ and ~ now ~ very .... angry
                        Drowing ~ deep ~ in ~ own ~ do-do  ~ droppings .... whopie 
                        Luscious ~ Lucy ~ now ~ can ~ look ~ long ~ and ...... hard
                        For ~ another ~ fast ~ floating ~ free ~ salemens ~ not ~ selling.... lard



Entry For
Linda Marie's
Luscious Love Lingers Contest
G.L. All


Details | Rhyme | |

THE OPPOSITE SEX

It's weird to think to be the opposite sex
take it from one who knows best...
being a boy is much more fun and wild,
but being a girl will destroy my manhood!


No chasing after gorgeous girls with beautiful hair;
no asking for dates and kiss by candlelight,
no showing off those muscles of might...
becoming fragile and feminine: a real nightmare!


Some boys dress up as girls wearing wigs and earrings;
I couldn't see myself and slowly walk on high heels,
I'll break my nose and look like a bleeding hooker...
so sorry for having tried that and excited an onlooker!  


All I will say, " A guy can never be a gal, and a gal never a guy. "
Have that sex change, get rid of your body hair ...
and you still be despised and given the evil eye!
This is my motto, " Born a man, always a man: straight or bear! "  


Details | Burlesque | |

Didn't You Go To School, Stupid??

yeah, and i came out the same way....


Details | Clerihew | |

A Humpty Dumpty Verse

A Humpty Dumpty man 
Became a couple, then a tribe;
And now, we know
The Humpty Dumpty people.

At first, a Humpty Dumpty verse
Encompassed
My only universe
But now, because the rhyme
We live in Humpty Dumpty`s Time.

At first, it  was no rhythm 
When verses drumming their feet
But now, we know
This song became a hit.


Details | Free verse | |

Duck Side Story

You have your North side ducks, 
And you have your south side ducks.
Neither the twain shall meet.
For each one had his nose in the air. 
They simply would not do the greet.

So as it happens they would dance with flair in the middle of the pond.
Always trying to out do the other side…Yes, let’s call it ‘Stomp The Pond’
Wings in motion lifting them up, to stomp the waters with their feet
Acrobatics and splashing around… Man it looked so neat.

So Stella, one of the South Side Ducks fell in love with her North side Pete.
But she couldn’t cross the middle of the pond, with so much action in the way.
Fussing, blustering, and carryings on were the name of the day.

But you know, there’s always one strange duck, and that’s the one who built a bridge.
Now all the others could come across or watch the stomp from the middle of the id.
My moral, I say to you young ones… is as appealing as stomping can be…
The world works better when brought together… 
By the builders of a bridge.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Highly Intelligent Gluteus Maximus

The student sits in third row last chair
His foolish words of attention are blurted everywhere
He understands not the value of listening
For he seeks laughs and howls for the teacher’s off>< pissing
Until finally the day of teacher student conflict
The teacher enquires of the student’s gimmicks 
Young man confronting the joker for all to hear
Your gall for the learned compliance suitable for classroom learning
Indicates your true ability of one of extremely asinine qualities
I must admit as all the students are listening here
You are the greatest highly intelligent gluteus Maximus I ever did hear


Details | Epigram | |

Stuck On You

braces interlocked - told him no kissing


Details | Limerick | |

The Naked Truth

<                                our top story tonight is Lawyers
                                  a pain in the ass and real spoilers
                                  with  fancy cars homes suits
                                  fifteen hundred kaboot
                                  rather hire cowboy wearing just spurs






Entry For Carolyn Devonshire's 
Lawyer Limerick's Contest

GL All
                                  
                                  


Details | Limerick | |

Prep Talk

<                                      Peter ~ Piper ~ picked ~ pickled .... peppers
                                        Ate ~ one ~ turned ~ into ~ hot ~ salsa ... stepper
                                                Cherry ~ Banana ~ ....  Bell 
                                         Boy - his - tongue - throat - did ... swell
                                         Couldn't ~ even ~ yell ~ at ~ packs ... prepper






Entry For
Destroyer {Poet's }
Pickles & Tickles Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

You Stink

<                            Once came along a super ninja
                              Dagger Nunchucks Gi sword Wala
                              Hiding in the sewer
                              Got covered with manure
                              Fear not his weapons but hands haha


                             
                              


Details | Limerick | |

Fire In The Hole

<                                        once there was ten devious children
                                          oh how they did a poor little sin
                                          brother had passed some gas
                                          they lit match to his ass
                                          dam dog was even wearing a grin






Entry For
John Freeman's
Giggle Poetry Contest # 2
G.L. All


Details | I do not know? | |

Why Are Church Doors Locked

WHY ARE CHURCH DOORS LOCKED?

I have been a member for many years. I attend when ever I can.  I pray and pay.
I guess, I took it for granted, but not anymore. I must stand up for all that want to know.  For all that need to know. No! I am not a  hero, but I would like to know. 

There was a time in my youth, when it was un-thinkable to lock a church door. Did congress pass a law, while I was sleeping?  Should I call the sheriff?  Why didn’t the pastor tell me?  Does he know? Did he lock the front door, side door, and even the back door? Does God know, the doors at the church are locked?  Saints, we are in big trouble.

Okay! Let’s get serious. Are you trying to keep something locked out? Are you trying to keep something locked in? This could be a sin. There are two individuals in the congregation that I can ask.  They certainly must know answer. After all, their name is Brother Lock and Brother Smith. Yes! The Lock Smith Brothers. 

Now if the Devil is locked up, when I leave church, I’m okay with that. You say, I should not worry about this.  Well! It is now at the top my list. I want to know more. It’s time to stop church crime.  

Dr. "G"


Details | Haiku | |

Just Do It

<                                   silent explosion 
                             between puckered weary legs ...
                                     spandex dialogue



                                                                       
                                    
                                                                                                                                           
 Entry For Poet Destroyer's
Pooping Contest {Don't Ask To Go To The Bathroom}


Details | Limerick | |

February Funny Bone

                                 Once came along a groundhog named Phil
                                 Looked for shadow in winters chill
                                         Even top hat and coat
                                         Didn't stop whining's gloat
                                Stuck six more weeks paying heating bill                                 
                                  






Written by 
Katherine Stella 2/4/12
Entry For
Linda Marie's
February Funny Bone Contest
G.L. ALL


Details | Clerihew | |

God That Taste Like Rubber

<                                      Mr Thomas Adams
                                        Weaver of the gum  Wham !
                                        Thought his Chicle
                                        Would fit better on my motor ~ cicle






Entry For 
John Freeman's 
Giggle Poetry
G.L. All


Details | Verse | |

When Grandma takes me to the park

When Grandma takes me to the park!
By Kim Mosteiro
I love when my grandma comes and picks me up to go to the park. We ride in
grandmas car to the park; and grandma sometimes stops on the way and we get ice
cream.......
I like sliding down the slide; grandma waits at the bottom and catches me, or
sometimes she will slide down with me. One day I was swinging, and grandma
pushed me way high, I flew as high as the birds do, it was so much fun!
Grandma taught me how to climb a tree, just like she did when she was little, and
climbed her grandma's tree, to pick apricots for her Grandma's pies! Grandma
pushes me real fast on the merry-go-round; I go round and round and round and it
makes my head dizzy, and then I spin around just like the merry-go-round.
One day we saw a butterfly, it was blue and brown; I chased it and tried to catch
it but it got away. Grandma told me that every time I saw a butterfly, it would
mean that she was thinking about me; and she gave me a kiss and said that's what
it would feel like if a butterfly landed on my nose and kissed me!
But there was one day when Grandma took me to the park and I saw a snake, it
was scary when he shook his tail and it rattled. Grandma said I am to never go
near one and try to pick it up because it can hurt me, it's not like a butterfly. A
snake will bite you and make you sick Grandma says, so I will only chase butterfly's
not snakes.
I can't wait to go to the park again and see what new adventure Grandma and I
will go on.
“Dedicated to my Grandchildren: ADAM, ROSIE, SERENA


Details | Limerick | |

All In The Family

<                          once Edith laid her hot iron flat
                            husband Archie called her his dingbat
                            then son-in-law ~ meathead
                            put iron on dam bed
                            boy fire did make Jefferson scat





Written By 
Katherine Stella 10/30/11
Entry For Techno - Limericks Contest 
To Be Co-Judge  G.L. All


Just Gotta Love That Archie LOL

Note Please Never Leave Your Iron On
Can Really Ruin Your Day Yikes


Details | I do not know? | |

School

I went to school
It was very very cool
But kids ate tools, 
and the teachers were fools
Did I mention that they all drank from a pool
So I guess that school is not very very cool


Details | Free verse | |

Text Speak

Text Speak--A newly developing dialect whereby the speaker can convey a lengthy thought by abbreviating phonetically or through the use of substitutive characters.	

Any attempt to speak it out loud is both impractical and unusually difficult,


Hme skoolled
Nvr took nglish
lrnd on cmptr
:-)
omg luvd star wars 
brb 
ok lol!

Translation:
:-) I’m happy
brb- be right back 
lol –lots of luck





Details | Haiku | |

Harvest Festival

aerial viewing
outstretched crows flying frenzy
harvest festival


Details | Rhyme | |

Teacher, Teacher

Teacher, teacher, she’s touching me
And I haven’t liked her since we were three.

Help, teacher!  He says if I don’t stop
He’ll give me a karate chop.

Oh boy, teacher, I have a stomach ache.
How long’s this lesson gonna take?

Teacher, teacher, my head feels hot.
But, I don’t wanna get a shot!

Teacher, teacher, I hafta go.
If you don’t let me, I think I’ll blow.

Gosh, my water bottle got me wet!
Hey, teacher, is it lunchtime yet?

Teacher, teacher I’m all muddy
And scraped my knee and now it’s bloody.

Teacher!  Ow, teacher my tooth is jiggly.
What?  I can’t sit still.  My feet are wiggly.

Oh, no!  Teacher, my pencil broke again.
Why are you always countin’ to ten?

Sniff, sniff, teacher!  I’m feeling sick.
I better go to the nurse real quick.

Where you goin’ teacher?  Why you sittin’ down?
Did you just say you’re leavin’ town?

What’s the matter, teacher?  You don’t look so good.
Ain’t we behavin’ the way we should?

Don’t worry teacher.  Tomorrow you’ll be great!
We’ll be back in the morning at half-past eight!

By Susan Burd © 2011


Details | Limerick | |

Let's Get Ready For Some Football

<                                   let's get ready for some football .....    Ya !
                                     Eagles   verses    da   .....   Bears   Well ... then  Hey !       
                                     Here's kickoff ~ by     da .......    Bears
                                     Ohhhhhhhh !  fell  off ....  T  .....    Unfair
                                     Second  ..... blocked  .....  Eagles    7 - Nay !


                                                                      
                                     
                                     
                                    

                                    
Entry For 
Linda Marie's 
Let's Limerick Contest
G.L. All    



Tribute To Football


Details | Nonet | |

Little Hell Raisers { Nonet}

<                             I'm going on journey ~ back in time
                               When I should of listened to my .... heart
                               But instead just followed ....  head 
                               What a mistake that .... was
                               Let me tell you .... now
                               Poor old ... lady
                               Didn't ... do
                               Noth ~ ing
                               Wrong !



                              Carrying her groceries home from the ... store
                              Me ~ brother ~ sister ~ brother's ... friend
                              Tossing lit~ firecrackers
                              Laughing ... and .... giggling 
                              Looking ~ for ... trouble
                              And here she ... came
                              Four ..... against
                              Just ... one
                              Wow   !



                              Bet poor old women didn't .... expect
                              Handfull of lit .... firecrackers
                              To be tossed in her own .... bags
                              Others ran like .... dickens
                              I stayed and helped   ...  her
                              Picked up her ... stuff
                              And ... carried
                              Them ... all
                              Home !
                           
                           
                           
                           
Entry For
Linda Marie's
A Journey Back In Time
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Your Growling

<          once there was old woman on the prowl
            found younger man and begun to howl
            under silvery moon
            fead him with baby spoon
            now stomach does goo goo gah gah grawls



Written By Katherine Stella


Entry For Dr. Ram's Cougar Effect Contest 
G.L. All                                                                


Details | Dodoitsu | |

Yellow Belly

<                                            Yellow Belly !


                                     Bees, Bees, the dancing machines
                                     Polinatators that bite me
                                     Gift biogenic amines
                                     How you make me swell

                                     Yellow belly tarnations
                                     Clinging Clanging to butt's cheek
                                     Cursing swating and shooing
                                     To sting destroyer



  * Story:    A yellow belly flew into cars window and landed on seat and of course 
                        I had to be the one to roll on it and get stung in butt lol



Written by 
Katherine Stella 4/8/12

Entry for
Linda Marie's
Bite Me Contest 
G.L. All

I Bite 
Destroyer-Poet LOL


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Learning

<                           [ S 1][ T 1][ U 1][ D 2][ E 1][ N 1][ T 1]


Entry For Nancy Jones
7 tile Scrabble Contest 
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Sons Of An Zeus Man

<                           once came along pair gemini twins
                             castro and pollux from third sign in
                             well sons of an zeus man
                             all from mercury clan
                             sharing wealth of intelligence sin

                            with ever compatible libra scales
                            along with aquarius that wales
                            fire signs given few
                            pisces they known too
                            beneath sun and moon's with semi's tale








Written By Katherine Stella  6/26/11


Entry For Nette Onclaud's
Zodiac Zones Contest
G.L. All


Details | Rhyme | |

You Little Stinker Devil's Echo

In forest you'll hear squak squak squak
May capture bears play
Or foxes cock-eyed walk walk walk
Down by waters bay

High in trees you'll hear owls owls owls
Just more feathered friends
But I love water fowls fowls fowls
So let's not this end


Miss Hood cried big bad wolf wolf wolf
I just stared and laughed
Seeing deer prints from hoofs hoofs hoofs
Think she's needs skunks bath



As many stanzas as you like.The last 3 words of each 8 syllable line are the same, to create the echo. These can be 1 or 2 syllable words, so long as the line is 8 syllables long. Syllable Count......8.5.8.5. etc.
Rhyming Sequence.......a.b.a.b. c.d.c.d. e.f.e.f. etc.



Details | Haiku | |

Johnny Come Blow Your Horn

pillar of trumpets
are no match in a garden
for the hummingbird


Details | Sonnet | |

Kiss This

<                              master of disguise menacing havoc
                                I fear not your pronged fork and wooden stick
                                but one illuminates from presents sight
                                tis I carries master key whom ends plight


                               brushstroke if must with your evilness twist
                               for I stand strong from an Hevenly bliss 
                               poke and probe away with your woven schemes
                               tis I'll be the one laughing though it seems 


                               your inferno fire from gates of hell
                               diminished by just one shake from this bell
                               so bring on your barriers and good grief's
                               tonight I'll be the one with good night's sleep 


                               sowing not fear of satin's smitten grasp
                               but turning check telling to kiss thy ass




Entry For
Thvia Shetley's
The Devil Made Me Do It
Sonnets Only Contest
G.L. All


Details | Couplet | |

Coco For Ten

<                               Coco was his name
                                 Spider monkey all the same

                                Dad worked for zoo
                                Feeder of Coco too


                               Brought the little guy home
                               Boy did Coco love to rome


                               Droppings here and there
                               Mom  covered up his dairy - air

   
                               Shoulders he did seek
                               Knocking  younger ones off their feet


                                Bananas and salted nuts
                                Made Coco dance and strut

                               
                               Each day a animal of new
                               Dad brought home from the zoo

             
                               But the one I'll remember the most
                               Was coco who shared my daily toast





Tribute To 
Como Park Zoo
St Paul Minnesota

Coco And Daddy




Can You Imagine
A Monkey Playing
With 10 Kids  LOL

                                 


Details | Rhyme | |

Our Teacher Rides on Her Broom

Our teacher rides on her broom
she levitates on it in our classroom
she will snap and  then deride
wish she'll take her pride for a ride!

Our teacher rode off on her broom
and there was joy in the classroom!

Our teacher came back from her ride
and all the students stirred inside,
"How do we rid her?" 
"We must decide!"

"There are students in other classrooms
that also ride as you on brooms"
"They need a guide!"
"They want your brew!"
"They can ride along with you!"
"They  can be your new crew!"

"Fly to them now, that's what you should do!"
" We won't miss you, we won't be blue ! "
"Fly to them now, that's what you should do!"


Copyright McCuen 2009


Details | Light Poetry | |

Granny Tipping

My son is getting older, and he just went back to College, the other day.
But he had enjoyed the summer, by adding a new game to his daily play.
He called it Troll Tipping as daily he targeted another, and wore him out.
By dinner, the Troll would fall asleep, as my son claimed his dessert, so devout.

But wearing out a Troll, is not such an easy thing, so many a night, a Troll got his.
What a shame! But as a resourceful college man, at devising plans he was a whiz.
He offered them a Fun Filled Tip, yes, a way to get others, to do their daily chores.
The cost to each individual Troll, was their sweet dessert, that night, nothing more.

He was doing great, as he ran thru many a Troll, but then our suspicions did unfold.
You see, this bred unrest, as a number of fights started, amongst our beloved Trolls.
Scheming isn’t sharing, so Grandpa Troll had a TALK, life changing, or so it’s told.
But Boys are boys, and desserts were to be had, so he made a new plan, quite bold.

You might say he invented Granny Tipping, yes, now it was MY dessert, on the line.
Now this would be quite simple, for at my age, I can easily, become tiredly inclined.
But the one thing he’d forgot: is how crafty age had made this old one, in her efforts. 
As dinner wound down, I cued Grandpa Troll, to help deliver, those delicious desserts.

I told my son, that they were made to be his favorite, simply in honor, of his behalf.
Then I pretended to fall asleep, and he quickly took my dessert, with a joyous laugh.
Then suddenly his eyes grew big! And I awoke, looking him quite clearly, in the eye.
I lied that, I added laxatives and terrible cod liver oil, to my dessert nightly, yes, so sly. 

Making them easier to swallow, but if he wanted more dessert, he only had to ASK.
He quickly sped away, to wash that terrible taste, out of his mouth, a daunting task!
And we all had our chance to laugh at him… as the joke was finally on him, at last.
I call this, Bad Behavior Tipping, and from that day to this, he asks for more, at last!

The game seemed to lose its luster that day, yes, manners did a BIG, comeback.
The moral is to politely ask… Playing clever little games… is NEVER for the best!


Details | Clerihew | |

CLERIHEW

Edmund Clerihew Bentley,

practiced his craft so intently.

This clever creation still echoes in halls,

outlasting his pricey education at St. Paul’s.



When I read the WIKI'd the 411 on Bentley, I as enthralled. His "HEW" on Sir James Dewar is a classic.


Details | Couplet | |

Look Mom No Hands Couplet Challenge

<                                           I really hate to do laundry
                                             Why can't it be hands free ?


Details | Limerick | |

The Standard of the High Life

The lifestyle I have I would keep
My expenses however are steep
So me you will serve
You're the help I deserve
Without any tip cause I'm cheap


Details | Rhyme | |

Cover Your Crack If You Want Me To Take You Seriously!

Today it seems it's trendy
to wear your pants real low.
You know you're hot if you can walk
and let your butt-crack show!

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned
or maybe I'm a prude...
but I can't help but thinking
that your butt-crack is just rude!

It started with the plumber,
by accident... I'm sure!
But now, my teacher turns around
Oh no! Don't tell me.........Her?

She even wears the pants real low
so when she turns away...
her butt-crack smiles back at you
and you don't know what to say!

Do you pretend it's not there?
Do you say "Hey, nice crack?"
Pray to the fashion Gods and hope
suspenders will come back!

Mary Nagy


Details | Couplet | |

Pet Sit Panics

<                                             Dam Dog !

                                               What a hog !

                                          
                                               Ate Cousins Dope !

                                               And Started To Choke !


                                                Starry Eyes !

                                                Wobbly Thighs !


                                                To Vet !

                                               250 Dollars I Bet !

                                                

                                               More Test !

                                               They Suggest !


                                                Hell No !

                                               Let's See How It Goes !


                                               Just Needs Sleep !

                                              And Plenty Of Water The Little Creep !




Entry For
Sharon Tideswell
Pet Sit Panic's Contest
G.L. ALL

                           

 

                                      


Details | Free verse | |

IT Band

The PA says it is an IT Band...
I have an IT (it) band in there..
No wonder it hurts..
How many members are there in this band?
Only three ...well it feels like a hundred are marching to me
At night they are staying up late and partying


When he pressed where they have been stomping around,
I nearly went through the ceiling..
Painful ~excruciating no need to say more

Exactly where the excruciating pain is located is where the injection was placed
No need to say that crying was no disgrace
Some relief is the end results

What did our forefathers and mothers do when they reached older age?
How did they cope with old age aches and pains?
Were they made of stronger DNA?
Or were they more agile from the daily exercise of just doing the work of life?

Going to the doctor was a learning experience..
I found that there was something there that I did not know that exsisted.
I learned all those muscles in college but no one explained to me how important they are.
Life is an education in itself..

One thing that I have learned is take care of yourself for you never know how long that you will live...



Details | Monoku | |

Heartbeat Is A Love Beat { Broken Monku }

<                 seventh grade third hour spelling teacher
             

                                    heartbeat is just a silly love beat








Tribute To
Teenage Crushes
On Teacher's LOL


Details | Light Poetry | |

Learn A Word Haiku ( Pince-Nez )

      Pince- Nez....I asked ,whats that? Eyeglasses ,he proposed..For your nose.  They
have no handles. For a lads,I asked? Or for  lasses?  He answered. No!..They are just glasses for
lads or lasses. Only thing they have no Stems, matters not, a her or a him.!


Details | Verse | |

How The West Was Won

<                         O ye how the west has gone won
                           now wipe those trails of tears my son
                           dance the ring of fire for fun
                           speak and learn native ways
                           learn not to speak with riffles gun
                           rustle bacon beans  Hey !






Written By Katherine Stella 7/3/11


Entry For Dr Ram's 
Rime Couee's Contest
G.L. All


Details | Haiku | |

More Randomness

Must finish homework
Bio, hard Math, and German 
Ooh! Look! Butterfly...


Details | Rhyme | |

Mathematics

During my elementary, high school and college educational quest,
I struggled to do my very best on every mathematical test.
I was a "B" student in English, History and Art as I recall,
But I never mastered the mysteries of mathematics at all!

Basic arithmetic such as division and multiplication left me at sea.
Even simple addition and subtraction overwhelmed me to a degree!
Trying to conquer the times-table gave me a shocking jolt!
Alas, teachers considered me a hopeless mathematical dolt!

Geometry baffled me as to which were acute and obtuse angles,
And even more perplexing were isosceles and scalene triangles!
Beyond me were the formulas for figuring the areas of hexagons,
Trapezoids, pyramids, circles, cubes and five-sided pentagons!

Teachers told me that for my future, algebra was indispensable.
Maybe so, but variables and coefficients were incomprehensible!
My limited intellect couldn't comprehend quotients and binomials,
Nor integrers, exponents, irrational numbers and trinomials!

Needless to say, I didn't attempt calculus or trigonometry!
Those disciplines were as foreign to me as parabolic geometry!
I'm eternally grateful to that selfless, ingenioius creator,
Who eased my plight by inventing the handy calculator!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | I do not know? | |

Floop Goop Suprise

Kanoodle the poodle,
eats blue beans and noodles.
With sticky grey peas,
while he swings in a tree.

A brown fish on toast,
a pink bubblegum roast.
On crackers with cheese,
whilst dancing with fleas.

Red floop juice and blue goop,
makes a purple floop soup.
white fish eyes and black flies,
we've made a floop goop suprise.

as the floop goop cools off,
he starts licking his chops.
He feasts by a tree
then falls fast asleep

ZzZzZzzzzzzzzzzz....


Contest: Dr seuss on the loose
Copyright (c) 2012
James Mahauariki


Details | Haiku | |

All About the Music: The Infinite Magic of Lyricism

Pop may be catchy
But not lyrically deep
Case in point: Chris Brown.


(N.B. Poem written after hearing "Don't Wake Me Up")


Details | Free verse | |

The English Teacher

I have taught many subjects to many people in my career.
Whether I was teaching first year engineers to write an essay,
or bored sixth-graders the difference between composite and prime,
I never once doubted my abilities as a teacher.

I was passionate, caring, easy to understand, and always got my point across.
Or so I thought—
I learned otherwise one quiet afternoon in a village in Morocco.

I silently watched as my husband’s sister, to whom I had been teaching English,
repeatedly chanted “good night” to my dog, while waiting expectantly for her to “sit”.

My dog cocked her head to the side, in that way that only dogs can, with a sly grin on her face,
and if she could speak, I’m sure she would make a quip about not being sleepy.

I continued to watch without a word, I was speechless really,
and hoped for the sake of my career that my dog would get tired and sit.


Details | Free verse | |

Reflections: Intellectualism

To Dine, To Die;
Conversations spiral
While thunderous eyes
Grasp concepts to recycle.

Constant debt crisis
A political paradox
Grating social devices
Over the sorting of socks.

Pseudo-analysis
An endless groan
Argumental paralysis
The debate grants no throne.

Existentialism
Over a roast
Potatoes won't listen
To who talks the most.

"That point is so interesting"
The floor is open for chat
"What is real?" not a thing
"Meow" adds the cat.


Details | Rhyme | |

Conflict of Self-Interest

By: Amy

I need  to study, cannot go out...
‘BUT THAT PARTY I HEARD ABOUT!’
I’m so behind, I simply must work...
‘BUT THERE’S A KEG! WHAT A GREAT PERK!’

I have a paper, and test real soon...
‘BUT THERE’S TOMORROW, JUST WAKE AT NOON!’
I can’t take a hangover on a Sunday...
‘BUT THE PARTY TONIGHT’S 281 HATHAWAY!’

I’ve so much concern, my GPA’s sunk...
‘ALL THE MORE REASON I SHOULD GET DRUNK!’
I’ll be too tired, the night gets so late...
‘CAN’T STALL LONGER; THE PARTIES WON’T WAIT!’

Really, grades worry me, school’s been tough...
‘BUT THINK OF THE GUYS, SO HOT, SO BUFF!’
THIS IS TRUE! MY DECISION IS RIGHT!
‘TIME TO GO OUT FOR ONE HELL OF A NIGHT!’


Details | Limerick | |

Trader Joe

<                           once there was a man named trader Joe
                             could do nothing with hair so let grow
                             under big coonskin hat
                             fleas tick and his pet rat
                             mercantile's just say Oh Hell No


                            once there was saloon name lucky spur
                            where traders brought in their hunted furs
                            in walks old trader Joe
                            miss Molly said let's go
                            now both itch scratch from leftover burrs


Details | Limerick | |

Pay Up

<                    hes my banker and my heads horseman
                      calling bounty on anothers land
                      hark the herald angels
                      I think this game is swell
                      now thimble owes me sixty five grand







Written by Katherine Stella

Entry For Judy Konos's
Monopoly The Game Of Life Contest
G.L. All


Details | Haiku | |

The Dream

I had a good dream
I wanted to remember
Could not remember

Good dream so I thought
Took an internet dream course
Now remembering

My memory came
Somethings are best left alone
Scared me to death


Details | Limerick | |

Twelve Seconds

<                    Once was a bartender named Louie
                      Thought my tales story was quite screwy                                     
                      Asked how many seconds
                      Was in year he reckons
                      Twelve shouted out by cousin dewey







Entry For
Confession To A Bartender


                                  


Details | Haiku | |

rare occurrence


at stop light
rare occurrence
plates in sequence


Details | Senryu | |

Alluring Title

.
                                          
                                           Alluring title
                             Click look at who commented_
                                     Me, senior moment


Details | Free verse | |

Pills

Now when I was a young man 
I didn’t need pills everything worked
I wasn’t a fan 

But now that I'm old 
I need pills everyday 
One to lower my blood pressure 
Another to keep the cholesterol away 

Now I have a new one 
To keep my mind straight 
And because of this 
I can’t ejaculate 

It’s good for an old man to stay hard for so long 
But even for that 
I need a pill for that schlong

I wonder whats next in the pill world for me 
Maybe a pill 
So I can pee 

They gave me holder to keep my pills all arranged 
But keeping them straight 
Is making me deranged 

I need a pill to tell me what pill and when 
Because for the life of me 
I forget now and then 

I can’t tell the difference between the colors of each  
If I take the wrong one 
I have a hard on and no speech 

Now all these little pills 
Cost a pile of bills 
Which causes me 
Lots of stress and ill 

No more pills thank you 
I’ve had my fill 

Eric (and always will be)  
 


Details | Verse | |

The Paparazzi Quinzaine

<                                   paparazzi candid shots
                                     privacy act ruined ?
                                     big nuisance ?
                                     
                                     


Details | Light Poetry | |

Awe Your Full Of It

<         twenty twelve

                  What The Hell !

                                       
                         cosmic conjuction
                                       
                               What's it's Function !


                                         ecologic collapse

                                                   Only Perhaps !


                                                             galactic beings

                                                                     I've Been Seeing !


                                                                             think it's all phony
                                                                         
                                                                                      And Full Of Balony  !

Entry For Gareth James's
2012 Contest
G.L. All


                                                                                              
 
                                            

                             


Details | Limerick | |

Just Wait Until I Get Home

<                        once popped cork on bottle of red wine
                          hit brother in eye oh how it did shine
                          seen him go pick up bat
                          boy did I ever scat
                          right to canadian's boarder line

                          feeling like her dansel in-distress
                          along came three county mounties best
                          asked if nipping bottle
                          at fast paces throttle
                          answered yes now did I pass your test


                           tossed in pokie for now twenty days
                           poor ole missy now won't and get laid
                           darn brother wins again
                           wearing smitten hugh grin
                           wait until that welt begins to fade  




Written 6/20/11

Entry For Francine Robert's
Bottle Of Wine
Limericks Only Contest
G.L. All


Details | Free verse | |

Gooooooooood Morning CCcon neck tea cuttttttttttt!

Now, if only, they would cut the damn property tax!
Maybe, the elderly wouln’t have to loose their homes and move to Florida!
Maybe, a God fearin minority member could live here and own a piece of it?

Hello out there in WASP land..
say hey To the folks in Green witch!
Governor Jodi Rell our version of the wicked witch of the east
crossed with Mrs. Ward Cleaver
is out there pounding the proverbial pavement
looking to balance the ole budget AGAIN!

Hit the road Jack and don’t ya Come Back No Mo, No Mo, No Mo, No……..
say the local daughters of the D.A.R. and the Ladies of the  Eastern Star
to the rise of minorities in the local school …..

The Good Ole Nutmeg state has quite a mix 
hell just about anything goes here!
Land of the Free home of the Brave, 
you can even get a state certified Gay marriage
Robin Red breast ain’t our state bird for nothing
one of the first 3 states to protect the early bird getting the worm!

Yup Con neck tee cut is a fine place to live and grow trees
Y’all come up some time for a visit..
just don’t head for the shore cause you can’t get to it
Snob Zoning and All….

You can find just about anything you need 
here in the good ole Nutmeg state
(did you know you can get high on Nutmeg?)
have legal hallucinates will travel
so join the local nuts SOUPERS
and come for a visit
just don’t stay too long.


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Wasting My Time { Edit }

<                               One by one they'll shall roll on and come
                                 Like soldiers marching to beaten drums
                                 Echoes  are acknowledge
                                 Cast across thy arched bridge
                                 Haste makes waste even for everyone




Inspired By
Carolyn Devonshire's Contest
Follower Or Leader
GL All


Details | Couplet | |

Fur Ball

<               my little girl came to me and asked for a pet
                 to me my heart just hasn't been quite set

                 but who could resist those baby brown eyes
                 and all those little wimpers and desirable sighs

                 so off we went in our broken down wagon
                 where the rear end you could tell was sagging

                 to petland is where we went
                 pocketbook really took a dent

                 odie and garfield was their chosen names
                 two bunny hampsters very different but the same

                 oh my little girl was not yet done
                 said mama we need hampster ball so they can have alot of fun

                  and don't forget their bedding liners
                  so their living will be much finer

                  but first you must buy them their cage
                  oh my little girl is quite smart for her age

                  she knows they like fruit and snacks
                  so she doubled order with ten sacks


                   ring ring ring ding ding ding
                   did it's cash register ever so did sing


                   eighty five fifty
                   well ain't that nifty


                   handed lady one hundred
                   mumbling under breath was said


                   left store in a hurry
                   with our clothes looking so dam fury




Written By Katherine Stella  7/3/11

Entry For Francine Robert's
Pick A Pet Contest
G.L. All


Details | Narrative | |

The Poop of Life

THE POOP OF LIFE The poop word is a replacement For the other four letter word You know the one that means poop The one you have most likely heard There is a lot of poop in our life That is really like our body poop Both are really a necessity for living Let me give you the comparison scoop The type of food taken in your body Or what is fed into your life for you Will certainly determine precisely What type of poop you’re getting in to If you let the poop get all built up You tend to want to push and strain In hopes to hurry and force it out That can only cause cramps and pain Slow down and take a deep breath It really is always best to just relax The more you try to lighten up yourself The easier it will be for the poop to pass It’s time to worry if you have no poop Or if you just can’t get that poop out Keep it fresh and make room for more It feels great when it is all cleaned out A stall full of poop has the best worker As Proverbs 14:4 suggestively does say So a good worker does poop a lot Please don’t let it pile up for days No one wants to step in your poop Or even wants to see it for that matter We need to clean up our own poop Every little particle or a tiny splatter It is important to remember To always wipe twice It’s like double checking And it’s really the best advice If the same old poop is left Just every where lying around It only attracts the flies and scum Those pests from every part of town At times there may be a lot Of just stinky hot air Then sometimes you get The real poop coming there There are many different types Of shapes, sizes and textures With the daily poop we’re given The variety of life is measured I could probably go on and on Even you may think of more, I know So I’ll leave you with this one last note Try not to get caught in deep poop though Florence McMillian (Flo)


Details | Free verse | |

Smart Little Johnny

It's a real story that happened in one school  
when a teacher appeared to be a complete fool. 
Once when a teacher of math was sick 
a teacher of physical education came, named Nick. 
He wanted to show how intelligent he is 
so he said: Solve my problem please! 
- The car moves at a high speed. 
To go to Spain a plane we need. 
How old am I if the plane now is high in the sky? 
- If to take all these tasks and mix  
we’ll get the result: You are twenty six. 
- Right you are Johnny! 
Your arms are scrawny but brain is brawny. 
How did you solve this problem so quick? 
For me it’s easier to break a brick. 
- Well, our neighbor being so sleazy is thirteen, 
and my mum says that he is a semi cretin. 

©Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

For Francine Roberts contest "Humor Me"


Details | Rhyme | |

Barber Shop

When I was a mere lad, my Dad always cut my hair,
But as I reached my teens and became much more debonair,
To the bald-headed barber I whizzed in my old hometown,
Seated myself in his chair and plopped my quarter down!

I had never been a paying client at a barber shop before,
So I asked about that red, white and blue pole spinning by the door.
Said he, "It was a sign for barbers doing surgery in the olden day!"
At that I gulped, almost choked and turned a sickly gray!

Done with my hair, he'd shave my neck and brush on lots of powder,
And liberally douse my scalp with Vitalis - I couldn't have been prouder!
His shop reeked of pungent oils and stale tobacco smoke,
It was all I could do to sit there, trying to stifle a choke!

The town barber shop was a place to gossip and hear inane babble,
And was the local hangout for ne'er-do-wells and other idle rabble.
The risque banter invading my naive and delicate ears,
Gave me an education far beyond my tender years!

The tales I heard were of the local women, booze and such.
Though I had some inkling, I didn't understand all that much!
Had my dear devout Mother known what transpired there,
I suspect she would've insisted that Dad continue to clip my hair!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Haiku | |

Big BANG

Creator creates then—BIG bang! creators destroy


Details | Haiku | |

Your Going Down

<                           beneath waterfall
                        let your troubles wash away ... 
                             cesspool is waiting





Entry For John Freeman's
The Precept Natures Haiku
G.L. All


Details | I do not know? | |

The Freshman Effect

Upperclassmen of universities beware:
The horror, the terror, the outright scare
That comes onto your campus twice a year;

Cover your ears and close your eyes
They cover the ground and darken the skies:
The untrained, roguish freshmen are now here.

They come in swarms too great to number
They party late and disturb your slumber
They do not know the pricelessness of time;

They take your space in the parking lot
They take the dorm you should have got
And they choke up all the cafeteria lines.

"You were freshmen too," they say
"You probably partied every day,"
They have a point, but you don't really care.

You have weathered your college years
You've learned some things and fought your fears
You've earned your place; the freshies must earn theirs.

They will be seniors too someday
Then it will be their turn to say:
Upperclassmen of universities, Beware!


Details | Light Poetry | |

HOW I MANAGED not TO BE A DOC

HOW I MANAGED not TO BE A DOC

You know something,
Me a thing, I think not worth than a farthing
was put in a college of Medicine.
Paternal honour intact was to be kept.

Heavy in heart and blurred in vision
When thought of those bespectacled sermons
On blood and urea, capillary and neuron.
I tugged at my mom, a deaf ear she gave.

Like a prep child, I crossed the day
For the doom to impend on my lovely day
On the calendar on the wall with landscapes gay.
Oh! All because my father loved me so.

On that day I stood on a rostrum
Feverish, next to a corpse bloated and grey
I was to say my name and greet the group.
But all I could choke out was a meek gibber.

I fell down with a thud,next to the corpse, 
funny,all came running to the body lifeless,
for he was the specimen for one whole year.
The thing I knew next, 

On my bed cozy I was
And I think I heard my father say, 
Smiling,
‘Oh,It is all right my dear’!


Details | Ballad | |

The Genius and the Good O'boy

this story's about a good o'boy
that knows his wits ain't the keenest
and a writer that thought he was cock-of-the-walk 
we'll refer to him as genius

genius liked to hang around o'boy
and make fun of him all day long
he would pick and poke and make sick jokes
o'boy would just laugh along 

now genius decided to protect his work
so he sent it to washington
said i'll be a star, yea i'm gonna go far
and my songs'll be number one.

well, his head began to swell a mite
when he started to receive
the kind of deals that come in the mail
when you register with the L.O.C.

now, o'boy might be simple folk. 
he don't claim to have a great mind.
but he can spot a scam, size up a man 
and read between the lines.

o'boy tried to warn him
said be careful or ya might get burned
but the know-it-alls are bound to fall
cause there's nutin else they can learn.

they said they'd sell genius his spotlight
make his name known all around
so he bent right over, stuck his head in the clover
and pulled his britches down.

well i can't really say how it happened
but the story soon spread around
and before ya know it that singing poet
was the biggest joke in town.

now, we can make fun of the downhom'eez
laugh at their back-wood way
make the simple folk the butt of our joke
but sometimes it just don't pay.


Details | Limerick | |

You're Going To Get It Now But Good

<                             once there was an old cat named chessur
                               only listened to alice for sure
                               but sometimes dissappeared 
                               and left behind grins smear
                               so I've gone mad and shaved off hides fur





Entry For Debbie Guzzi's
Go Ask Alice Contest
        G.L. All


Details | Quatrain | |

Toaster Strudel Trochee

<                                       Toaster Strudel - Trochee

                                         
                                        I just crave toaster strudel
                                        Piping hot pastry
                                        Cool icing so can doodle
                                        Kellogg's bakery

                                 
                                        So get to popping me one 
                                        Time to used noodle
                                        Pop tarts boring just no fun
                                        Choose toaster strudel




Meter: 7/5/7/5 
Rhyme Scheme: a/b/c/b or a/b/a/b

The meter is trochee, which means alternating stressed and unstressed beats in each line, with each line beginning and ending in a stressed syllable. This is a simple lyrical type little poem, so rhymes will be basic, nothing fancy. The poem itself should give a description of something of interest to the poet and often the meter lends itself to humor, much as a limerick does. There is not a set number of these quatrain type stanzas, but a typical 7/5 Trochee would consist of two quatrains, with the second stanza serving to tie up the idea presented in the first stanza.


Details | Limerick | |

Banana Surprise

Banana went to culinary college
Yellow, firm, wanted so much knowledge,
Standing up in last class,
Ending up in large mass,
Now was the time for all to acknowledge.


Written for

Sponsor Deborah Guzzi 
Contest Name The once was a man from Dunkirk.. 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Over The Hill Footle

what you will
    when over that hill

    well your feet will swell
               and body might smell 
 
                           your hair will grey 
                                  want to be lazy all day

                                         tummy will sag
                                             eyes will bag

                                                    get bunions too
                                                          on heels how shrew

                                                                     lose some teeth
                                                                               OMG good grief

                                                                                         so if you will
                                                                                               take it slowly up that hill


Entry For Brian Strand's 
What You Will Contest

I chose Footle

                                                              

                                                                                                       


Details | I do not know? | |

Mother Earth

I orbit in emptiness I reflect with the sun I give life to everything I take what you recoil from My soil broken and arid My oceans a gutter of debris Smothering contamination That’s what you offer me I accepted you as a guest I honored your every request I endure to give you life My fragility shows And though you know You change not your appetite When I have nothing left For whom will you cry? Or stretch the appendage to ease Hello…… it’s me Mother Earth…..a little love PLEASE !


Details | Rhyme | |

The Rule of Fum

These are a few rules of fum,
For one chum is... fum!
Even if you do smell the blood of an Englishman,
It is impolite to yell fee fie fo... fum!
One must never leave their house looking like a bum,
It is irreprehensible to always be... glum!
One must always choose his mate even over his best chum,
Your bathroom must always be free of... scum!
Ice cream should come in five gallon drums,
Beer bread should be devoured 'til there isnt a... crumb!
One must never smack their gum,
Or stick a pie with their... thumb,
And pull out a... plumb!
When someone says "hither" you must come,
Never stand there just looking... dumb!
If you are to be a florist you must have a green thumb,
And always stay away from the...rum!
These are just a few rules of fum,
So until we meet again... go and have some F.U.M.!


Details | Dodoitsu | |

Ant fires bite

Ants bite me tent baby sleeps front dad pours fuel rids runs down to camp fire dance ablaze tunnel fire ants dead ~ dad running with legs hairless baby in Safety flash fire fumes will travel fire ant's den taught camp Carol-ing
- by John beam - a lesson learned while camping be safe around ants and fires


Details | Haiku | |

Cry Me A River

at the mouth of cave
aqua insurgent brushstrokes
cry me a river


Details | Rhyme | |

Hurry Home

My dear,
As I'm lying on your pillow here

I pray for God to watch over you each night
And help guide you through your daily plights

I can hear sounds of wispiring winds
And see through window's pane a mighty stars spin

Just knowing your battling on foreign soil
Over someone else's turmoils

Makes me just love you that much more
But please hurry home hun to finish your own dam choirs

                                          Love 
                                                Kat
                                                Meowwwww LOL



Tribute To Our Troops And Loved Ones
Hurry Home
God Bless U.S.A.

Also Entry For Brian Strand's 
My Dear Contest


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Calling Me

<                                          good tarnations  .......  to this darn nation

                                            economic woes   .......  our money goes

                                                      all we are is .....   numbers

                                                      to good ole ....... Uncle Sam

                                             
                                             don't you just hate being called ....... sometimes







Entry For
John Freeman's Contest
Citizen Or Subject
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Job Interview

There once was a boy, named Abdul;
Went to get a job, fresh out of school. 
All dressed up like July,
With a bow and a tie;
But left his fly open, what a fool!


Details | Limerick | |

Lock Up

<                             once there was a girl locked in closet
                               dear old dad said well thats what you get
                               little did he come know
                               let out by little bro
                               but recaptured by moms fishing net 





Entry For Leighann Anderson's
Sea Of Words Contest
G.L. All                               


Details | Blank verse | |

My Country Ties Of Thee






          ***********

My Country was Born
           Not,
In the Heat of BATTLE
            But,
    Over a Cup of Tea'
   In the city of Boston
              And then,
They brought in Coffee
          -- Fore ---
A country of this Magnitude
    Would never again'
         Sleep at Night


                G.F


Details | Quatrain | |

Miss Michener

Our teacher, old Miss Michener
Was really rather odd.
She had a nasty twitch in her
That started with a nod.

Sometimes that twitch would form a frown
Upon her painted lips.
And then it moved its way on down
To sway her big old hips.

We couldn’t wait for her to yell
When some of us would bicker,
And at the ring of the lunch bell
Her eyelids made a flicker.

These were such fun days, in and out-
Enjoying her odd quirks.
We tried our best to make her shout
Just waiting for those jerks.

But one day as we counted math
Miss Michener had enough.
She let out all her fiery wrath
In one big steamy huff.

She stomped hard twice, upon the floor
And marched across the room,
Then flung open the closet door
And grabbed the class’s broom.

Our mouths gaped open, really wide.
We stared as she took flight-
Straight through the window, right outside,
Then zoom, clear out of sight.

Our teacher, old Miss Michener
Was more than we could see-
She had a nasty witch in her,
But we had set her free!


By Susan Burd © 2011


Details | Haiku | |

The Power of the ON Switch

Darkness all around me
Until I turn the lights on
Now it's very bright


Details | Rhyme | |

The Qualities That a True Friend Must Have

What are the qualities that a friend should
have – that which would make a true friend so true?
A friend is one whom you like to be with
while a true friend insists on being with you.

A friend likes you when you have so much in
common. True friends like you who for who you are.
True friends make you feel as though they are at
all times near, although they are very far.

A true friend is one whom you can always
talk to, even at night when it is late -
when loved ones are asleep, a true friend is
always there to hear what you have to say.

Friends like to share, but a true friend always
gives you – not what you want, but what you need.
The feelings you hide, as well as your thoughts,
and your dreams,  a true friend can always read.

A friend may forgive you or they may not
forgive, for something wrong you’ve done to them.
A true friend forgives even when you don’t
ask. True friends forgive - again and again.

Friends are close when you are close to them. A
true friend wants your friendship to be closer.
A true friend does what is best for you, and
hates that you would end up with the losers.

A true friend teaches you lessons to help
you grow – lessons that are hard and easy.
A true friend is always there - having a
true friend can never make you feel lonely.

Friends may sometimes make mistakes, but a true
friend is always careful not to hurt you.
A true friend is a guide and a teacher.
A true friend knows everything you go through.

The true friend I mention is our God,
who kept you company before you were born.
The friendship of God, if you truly keep
and cherish, you will never feel forlorn.

The true friend we all need is God (Allah) –
the One who guides and can teach us lessons,
the One who hears our calls and understands,
the One always near – in every season –

Allah, as a Friend, never judges us
by the way we look and how we appear.
Allah, as a Guide, if we ask Him for
guidance, He guides us and makes our paths clear.

Allah is with us – each day and each night –
He is always there when all are asleep.
Allah always listens when others don’t.
He gives you comfort when He sees you weep.

Fortunate are those who have Allah as
a Friend. Friendship with God is friendship true.
May Allah bless me with His Friendship and
May Allah’s Friendship be shared with you too.

Ameen.

Miriam / Mariam Mababaya


Details | Verse | |

Pink Slime

Pink Slime, Pesticides
And chicken thighs bigger than my thighs

And we wonder why there is an increase
in learning disabilities among children today 
I say it’s because the process, that the food is processed and grown and raised, is
compromised by demand, money, greed or fame. 
I do understand that demand is high 
so we have to do somethin’

So to compete, we inject hormones into the very animal or plant that is sold for consumption
So now we eat these hormones and our bodies are stressed because of the added pesticides and  herbicides and other sh#! that’s hard to digest  

I mean what’s really the cause?
There’s more kids with disabilities today than there ever was  
I say it’s because like the story is told in the verses, that knowledge is increasing in man and the result is not what He purposed. 

Pink Slime and Pesticides..We’re eating stuff that’s been chemically grown inside…and chickens bigger than my thighs


Details | Haiku | |

Play Misty For Me

clouds abotomy
cut with a sheer percission
play misty for me


Details | Verse | |

Grattitude First lesson in Christian Living

Dear little pony, the children’s clown,
Rough mane stands tall, his thick tail tumbles down.
Jiggety, jog.  Yes, some riders have frowned.
Dad can ride him with two feet on the ground!
 
He’s a tough little, nuggety, wonderful chap
Who can live on the roughest of diet mishap.
We don’t feed him oats much, he’ll founder on those,
But if you can ride him you’re right home and hosed!
 
He’s full of the tricks that intelligence brings.
He’s always a challenge until mummy sings
Out loud, lets him know that he can’t get away
With presenting his backside to children today.
 
The children must learn how to command him too.
It isn’t the easiest thing they must do,
But they look for the pleasure of riding again,
So they learn how to handle tough diamond disdain.
 
They must learn how to stop him from racing away
Towards home when his head is turned facing that way.
His mind is on resting with food in his trough,
But his job is to teach, and he does it but tough!
 
Tough diamond’s a doorway to wonderful thrills
In the glorious world of the horseman’s spills
And great challenges.  Once you can master this rascal
Nothing can daunt you.  Introductory sample
 
Of every excitement that riding can offer,
He’s cute, pert, adorable, and he can proffer
Essential abilities.  Gratitude is
The gateway to mastery, sire of bliss!
 
Every offence becomes laughable when
You think back to this tough little customer. Then
Your mind turns to teaching, as Daddy once did.
No more can the mud of offence cause a skid.
 
You’ll go round it.  Or jump it. There’s no need to fall
 When Gratitude’s mastered.  Remembering all
Those scuffles you had that your dad helped you through,
You’ll mother, or father, or teach others too.
 


Details | Acrostic | |

Electronically Speaking

<                                   elects not to open door by hand
                                     looks pretty stupid too                                     
                                     even an grandma can do it 
                                     calling all grandma's
                                     technology has gone to far
                                     really really to far now
                                     one does not need to be an rocket scientist
                                     nor an magician
                                     it's easy as one two three
                                     candidly smile
                                     tip your hats
                                     look both ways
                                     launch arms outward
                                     and pull or push  that's it



My Word Chosen Was
Electronically



Written by 
Katherine Stella
5/9/2011


Entry For Dakarai Cobb's
The Sonnet Man's Acrostic Challenge
GL All


Details | Rhyme | |

Black or White

No such thing as black or white!
All colors if you mix them become white!

So four colors if you want to be right!

Red for roses, yellow for the sun, blue
for the sky and black for the night!

Put them all together and you get white!

So four colors if you want to be right
and no such thing as black or white!


Details | Couplet | |

WORDS GONE RAG a satire

Words Gone Rag

what a pity
how absurd
college grads have lost their words
latent grammar
dead vocab
grab at every
prep they have

don't know what the trouble is...
at computers they can whiz

don't know what will happen next----
whatever it is
will be found
in text


Details | Limerick | |

Ma Dropping It Like Its Hot (Limerick)

Ms. Potter caught her daughter Lollipop
There dancing in the grocer’s parking lot
And scolded her profusely
‘Til someone cranked up “Juicy”…
Ms. Potter stopped and dropped it like it’s hot


Comments:
How soon some forget that they were once young too. If the power of dance is ones 
passion it is not the worst vice a child can have, in fact it is good exercise.  One 
Love


Details | Cowboy | |

gladiator

our skills..talents..gifts,that we have..
these are our tools..weapons..instruments
and we just want to live..
put into a situation in wich we did not choose our roles..
some of us are the fans and the royalty
they watch people like me do what needs to be done...
people like me..we just want to live
so we use our weapons and do what we have to..
we didnt choose for it to be like this..
we watch the fortunate  crowd the seats of this coliseum called life..
and they watch us jump back and forth through shades of color..
they judge us...
but we just want to live


Details | Free verse | |

Teddy Bear - Strange Love

Teddy Bear - Strange Love 

Our new neighbors have guns and drugs
They call me Teddy
Silly!....my toy is Teddy…. Teddy Bear
They must be crazy
I love my little bear
We’re happy happy happy skipping down the street!
One day the neighbor guy took my teddy
Threw him in the air
Like a taxidermist dream
I screamed, “Teddy can’t fly leave him be!” 
The bad man zeroed in on Teddy 
With an AK-47 in hand
And blew my friend away.
The tiny head flew off
Stuffing everywhere
Daddy!
Oh Daddy come quick!
I think my teddy is sick!


Details | Light Poetry | |

My Big Brother Is Watching You Too

"My Big Brother" up and down the street
  He could be anyone you meet
  Spying on you from the street
  Looking in from every beat
"My Big Brother" isn't that sweet

"My Big Brother" and I don't know why
  Casting in from above the sky
"My Big Brother" the commie spy
  Listening in do or die
  Bringing his book in
  Taught within
My Big Brother, 1-800-LET-US IN
  Caught with paper and a pen 
All because, "My Big Brother" let himself in


Details | Senryu | |

The First Day of School

the first day of school
thank God, my son’s not crying
i sit beside him


Details | Blank verse | |

Kill Da Wabbit

                    Kill Da Wabbit
              (a low IQ non fat Haiku) 

Carrot hangs on branch

Kill da wabbit kill da wabbit

C.I.L.L....... da wabbit


Details | Rhyme | |

Oh What Fun

 <                                                B y         G r i l l 

                                                   W i T h     J i L L

                                                   C r A c K i N G

                                                           A  t

                                                        B  i  l  l

                                                         W h O

                                                        T O o K

                                                          S i X
                             
                                                   O x I C o T t O N s

                                                           
                                                          A n D

                                                          

                                                          G o T

                                                           I L L

                                                           O  H

                                                         W  h  A  t

                                                               A

                                                          S p I L L





                                                             

                                                        
Entry For
Nikko Palmario's
Life Without  U & Me
G.L. All
                                                               

                                                          

                                                         

                                                        

                                                        
               
Hate Cleaning Up 
After Someone Else's Spills  LOL  


GL ALL IN Contest


Details | Free verse | |

CAPTCHA Preview

Type the characters you see in the picture

 /GMH4/

I AM NOT A BLASTED VIRUS
I AM HUMAN, POET, ARTIST
And you’re a confounded nuisance…

Picture this—
A world where a simple click
Will send the comment more swiftly
Will log you in faster
No more silly letters in a grid
If only…

Well—I suppose its fine
I’m a complainer, a nuisance, a swine
But hey, fine, I’ll say it:

Thanks, Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans 
Apart
It is things like you that will prevent a robotic takeover 


Details | Quatrain | |

I'll Make Him A Nerd Yet

Oh dear, I just realized what I could do,
with the Hungry Caterpillar plushy, 
enveloped by paper, for my cute new
nephew. He’ll learn to spell his name by three.


Details | Chastushka | |

GUINEA BOOK-PIG

    THE GUINEA BOOK-PIG

At four she was a guinea pig
For a rising college geek
‘Cause the kid was talkative
Perfect brain to take a peek

So the testing started there
Little questions never ended
Hungry little mind was bright
Former life was now suspended

Didn’t jazz and didn’t play
Let her mournful dogs run wild
Didn’t swing and didn’t climb
Became a different, sober child

Read newspapers, wanted more
‘who is what and what is why’
Annoyed the neighbors and her cats
‘tell me how to testify!’

Reading things beyond her years
‘here’s a book, now zip it up’
No one paid attention what--
So she read to fill her cup

In the summer age of seven
Brother studied long and hard
Morte D’Arthur spent the night
Flashing with his mighty sword

Dashing all the summer long
With the heroes of the Table
Rode and battled, saved the day
Brushed her horse in Arthur’s stable

Ulysses sailed in close behind
Wicked Sirens plied their trade
Then a buddy left a Fleming
Full blown sex was then displayed

So she passed the books around
To the friends who had no sources
Little girls with Barbie dolls 
played at passion and divorces

What a start to what a life
Wouldn’t have it changed a bit
But if Mother would have known
Certain she would have had a fit.

By Victoria Anderson-Throop ©
November 30, 2012


Details | I do not know? | |

To a PHILOSOPHER

I am a Prestigious Professor of Philosophy,
At a quite Elite University.

I get generous grants,
To sit on my pants,

And write books that nobody reads.


Details | Burlesque | |

howe 2 finde Gawd

I be frum brooklin
And I bee edumacatid reel goode
En iff uz wanna bee sefistikated lic mee
end Gawd weil bee wit uz
en ween u finde Hiem
asc Him 2 drope buy me's.


Details | ABC | |

Crazy World

Crazy World

It’s funny how
The universities are still in business
Of producing graduates
That speak funny English
And hardly make invention
And the stock market falls
Down street tumbles
That lets people buy
And make profit
Like grandpa used to say,
True intellectualism died
In the year 1929
With the rise in acumen inflation
It was then that
This Federal Reserve of Ignorance
The true villain of this quandary
Traces its genesis
Hope that explains succinct
This universal impotence


Details | Cinquain | |

It's Tax Time Cinquain

                                                              taxes
                                                       financial charge
                                                      direct or indirect
                                                exacted by our legislate
                                                              body


Details | Acrostic | |

The Talk

The Talk

(9.4.10)


"The Talk:",
 He hesitated, 
"Everyone 
 Becomes
 Interested in
 Reproduction
 During different, developmental 
 Stages."
(Assurances are always awkward;
 Nothing new.)
 Dad dodged    
"The Talk" 'til I turned twenty two.
 He honestly
 Expected 
 Bewilderment by
 Education, 
 Even though everybody knows, each infant grows in a secret station
 So its strong enough for the long aviation of being taken, by delivery stork, to it's home.







(This poem was written specifically for Carol Brown's "The Birds and the Bees" poetry
contest.)


Details | I do not know? | |

And What If Bookmarks Were Claustrophobic

Turns out the comma hates lists,
and the period is tired of putting a stop to things.

It wants to take the sentence beyond
the white space of the page
to where the hyphen can finally stand-up,
and the equal sign is free to celebrate life’s differences.

The question mark is willing
to offer some answers for once,
and conjunctions are ready to commit
to a single phrase or clause now,
but habits are harder to break than rules.

Truth is, the poem is trying to quit
the topics of love and death
and is avoiding the flower altogether,
because it reminds him of both.

The novel, well, it’s giving up the plot
and letting events occur as random as dreams,
which happens to be
in the midst of a messy divorce with chaos,
because he’s been flirting with order for a while now.

And now, the present,
this whole time he’s been running away with the past,
and they’ve been trying to scream
something back at us in the future,
but the exclamation point
has become so shy and quiet.


Details | Burlesque | |

How to Tell You're In Redneck Country

When wealth is determined by the number of guns one owns.
When a wedding party is a family barbeque, and the wife needn't change last 
names.
When only the very richest owns a bathroom.
Where soap has yet to be discovered.
Where squirrel brains is a main course.
Where your doctor wears a plaid shirt.
Where teeth are rarer than diamonds.
Where coon-skin caps are fashionable.
Where the one room school is underused.
Where the smartest people study comic books.
Where your dad is also your uncle.
Where a woman shaving her legs is a waste of razors.
Where the closest thing to a car is a mule named Sarah.
Where night-crawler worms are considered a snack food.
Where people still wonder who will win the Civil War.
Where television is the technology of the future.
Where everyone knows the earth is flat.
Where the moon is still thought to be made of cheese.
Where medicine is dispensed from a wagon.
Where that medicine is always Dr. Dermatosis's Magic Elixir.
Where the postman makes a yearly visit, and wonders why.
Where Tom's Tidbits is considered scholarly literature.
Where English muffins are considered foreign food.
Where English muffins are described as having "Crooks and Nannies".
Where no one knows what a "nanny" is, anyway.
Where Spike Jones is the romantic crooner.


Details | Grook | |

I'm A Chump

<                                        emphasis of labor day

                                        symbolic's end of summer

                                        picnics and parades display

                                     American workers get chummier


Details | Haiku | |

Cat And Mouse Game

Cat types words all day
Mouse cleverly wipes away
It's a cat/mouse game


Details | Alliteration | |

BABILONIA

I was born in Babylon
Everyday I want to be alone
I prayed not to get low
Everyday Babylon claim more soul
I just have to go, seek for more show
I grow with no shoes under my foots
Ganger is my food, 
Mosquitoes sing the reggae allover my room 
Webs block my views, killing my crews
What can I do to survive when am buzz

Where is that place to get crazy?
That place you cannot erase,
That camp with more space,
Where you don’t have to get late
That place where you just want to be free from
“Babylon” Babylon” Babylon…I want to be free


If there is a question, it should be about relation
My action will generate your reaction
Is substitution the way to be free from Babylon?
The game is always ON, grow horns like Capricorn
Cut the vegetables; let’s be able to be stable


Details | Rhyme | |

Boring Class but Saved by the Bell!

Clock ticking like crazy while my teacher is explaining
Scribbling on my paper during the time that is remaining.
Watching the clock religiously as if time would speed up
the teacher takes a sip from his big blue coffee cup.

Due to his monotony I have no idea what hes speaking about.
as he writes on the white board I try to tune him out.
Interrupted while thinking about what lunch is today
my teacher asks about the topic and if I have anything to say.
He stares at me rudely as a smirk spreads on his face
I know hes secretly excited that he gets to put me in my place.

I stutter as I try to remember what exactly he was asking
I wouldn't be in this dilemma if I was good at multitasking.
Press my lips together and hope the bell will ring
but I feel as helpless as a baby bird with a broken wing.
Maybe my facial expression will make the teacher think I'm pondering
even though he knows this whole time my mind has been wandering.

Teacher bows his head in complete and utter frustration
I knot my eyebrows together in false concentration.
The teacher clears his throat but its not heard very well
because at this moment I have been saved by the bell!


Details | Rhyme | |

Why It's Better to Have Dogs Than Children

Why It’s Better To Have Dogs Than Children

By Elton Camp

(Any who follow my writes regularly know that I’ve posted many poems against dogs being kept in the house and even being treated as if they are humans.  This has generated a number of outraged comments from dog lovers.  This one tries to placate them somewhat.  My actual beliefs are unchanged, however.)

Getting a dog may cost some dough
Not as much as having a kid, though
Decide you don’t want a dog around
No problem to drop him at the pound

With cost of everything being so high
It’s rather nice, Pampers not to buy
Neither mother nor any one of the rest
Insist feeding should be from the breast

Fido will usually come when you call
But a child may not do like that at all
A dog hasn’t a speck of financial greed
A constant supply of money doesn’t need

A dog can be fed on scraps from the table
To do that with a child, you aren’t able
Your clothes a dog will never ask to wear
And she lets you decide how to do her hair

Even if your dog should decide to go far
He will never once ask to borrow the car
And you don’t have to worry you’ll choke
Because no dog will ever decide to smoke

For a college education you needn’t save
About the latest fashions, a dog won’t rave
Another reason that a dog makes you smile
If she gets pregnant, you can sell her chile


Details | Haiku | |

CARS


CAN'T AFFORD THE CAR.

FLEXING WANTING TO BE SEEN.

REPRO-MAN SNATCH CAR.


Details | Couplet | |

Invisible's Invincibility

I am an invisible man.
Try and see me if you can.

Shy and quiet I remain alone.
Silent is my voice’s tone

No one can feel my pain and sorrow
As I hide inside of my burrow. 

Shadows consume my body and soul
As I embrace the misty cold. 

The reason for my unseen being
Lies in the fact I hate being seen.

This life and existence’s of my own choice
And I choose not to have a voice.

I am silent. Invisible. Inexistent.
Yet I am invincible, an immortal being


Details | Verse | |

Cave Men

When and where did they come in
The people they call the Cave Men
T'wern't before Adam, T'wern't before Eve
If in God you do believe.

They have the proof in many lands
These people at one time made their stand,
Pictures in caves of animals huge
Used for clothing as well as food.

They made the spear, they made the knife,
Invented the wheel to ease their life,
But what I don't understand
Where in history did they fit in?

As I recall from Bible lore
The peopled traveled till foot sore
When did they and Cave Man meet?
Was it before Moses crossed the sea?

Was it before Noah's time
When God bade man to walk the line?
If they were among those that drowned
How come their pictures were safe and sound?

There was David and Goliath
The Tower of Babble and Lot's wife,
The Giant Horse at Troy's Gate
Were they there or were they late?

As you can see I am confused
As each day their wheel I use,
I certainly would be oblidged
If only you could ease my mind.


Details | Rhyme | |

Need A New Spell-Check



      ------

So, I need another spell-check
What do you expect
The World is full of the word
My memory has gone 
To heck
      ------
I can say what I want
To say...
I do this every day
But when it come;s
To giving life meaning
Spell=check....
That is the way
      ------
Even though I need it
And I need it everyday
It is also important
That we mean what
We say,
      -----
Let He who hath' hope'
To wonder...Do it
Anyway
     -----
This is no time for dismay
Cause now you can get
A Spell=check...
To day...
      ------
Their is no other way...

              GF


Details | Rhyme | |

Okay... Let's Talk

You are pushing me too far, now we've passed the line,
We ain't coming back, that's a fact..  now it's time,
To lay down some ground-rules on you fools, because I'm,
Fed up..  so shut up!  Or get cut up with my rhymes!

If you're gonna pass this test, then you have to be the best,
You'll get sucked in, shredded up, then spat out as a mess,
Are you possessed or just stressed?  Just confess, you're like the rest,
See me shaking and quaking, as you fake a conquest.

You're a little behind,  with your big front,
I'll lash you with my tounge, if you wanna confront,
Try a stunt like that, I'll be forced to come and hunt,
Got you right in my sights, I'm alight, and I'll be blunt.

You wanna take it from me, you are not steel,
You slip and slide from my grip, like a smelly jellied eel,
I want to make a deal, but you flake and peal,
You fade before my eyes, because you never keep it real.

You're living in a dream, now it's seeming to me,
Like your nightmare's coming true, no longer fantasy,
Nothing you can do, your legs are rooted like a tree,
Now I'll open up your mind, and I'll set your brains free!

I'm a peaceful man, so okay..  let's talk,
I'll chalk it on the board, bottle it up and seal the cork,
Remember these words, and replay them as you walk,
You're in a world of giants.. go back down your beanstalk!

When my back's turned, If I feel your eyes burning,
I'll come straight back and we'll see if you are learning,
My soul is yearning, to write rhymes and be earning,
You're wasting my time, these things are really not concerning.

Now I've put on my show..  I will let you suckers go,
Smoke it over in your heads, but be hitting it slow,
Or I'll mow you all down, with my automatic tounge,
Then kick your butt with my Kung-fu, so RUN!


Details | Free verse | |

The Mall Game

Listen and watch, study and learn, 
the smallest to the largest, average to the brightest of human brains, 
turn them lose to play 
The Mall Game. 

It starts simply with a stroll down a mall street, delectable treats, 
known as stores line the way, their best ware displayed in all its grandeur, 
hoping to lure the unwary player 
in The Mall Game. 

People of every size and shape, education and income  
are equal when they start down the mall street, 
will soon become definable  by the amount of their spending, 
in The Mall Game. 

Entertainment is cheap, drop off the kids, let them congregate and meet, 
with security walking the mall street beat, it is much safer than the city streets, 
they are always welcome, usually the biggest spenders 
in The Mall Game. 

Everywhere you look signs say buy from me, 
an accommodating player takes the bait,
demolishes their budget in one mall sweep, 
a more frugal player, hesitates, waits, will soon suffer the same fate.

This is a game of stop and go, you enter a store one of two ways, 
look and wonder, or, select and pay, 
whatever the choice the next stop is just down the way. 

In The Mall Game a penny earned is a penny spent, 
if funds run short, it becomes a plastic day, 
and, if all else fails, there is always a company in a lending way. 

In The Mall Game the object is spend, to continue to shop until  
you reach the malls end, this is the game we play again and again, 
the only winners those who play the game; 
a penny earned is a penny saved, 
they will be back and win again, 
the rest will continue to fall prey, 
in The Mall Game. 


Details | Narrative | |

Creature

Observing. 
Frozen in time,
captivated by this enormous being,
the size of a small car.

Pondering, 
his every move.
The way he used his hands;
so child-like.
With all the consciousness of the world, 
and graceless coordination.

Aware.
of the visitors,
as they briefly called out for his attention.
Only for a moment,
then they were gone.

Untamed,
in an orderly sham. 
He sat there,
in his dark cave.
As if he was waiting for the light to find him.

Perched,
on a boulder, 
squatting, and primitive.
Drawing in the dirt with one hand. 
Swatting a fly with the other.

Surreal,
His nature,
as he rushed to consume his food.
The females hovered behind him,
watching intently, 
like me.
His movement mechanic.
His presence powerful.
He was the king of his domain.

Studying, 
his magnificence, I watched.
How smart was he?
Could he feel my presence? 
Engulfed in the very essence of all that was him, 
I watched. 

Wondering, 
how he felt, I watched.
Did he think he was still in the womb of Mother Nature?
Or, did he know the iron bars which embrace him now?

Then 
it happened;
our eyes met.
He noticed my presence.
His gaze intimidated me, 
But I did not look away.
He approached me.
I felt his eyes inspecting my soul.
A chill ran down my back,
I turned behind me,
only to find no other presence there.
When I turned back, 
we were face to face.
Separated by the sham,
And a two inch piece of glass.
Just me and him,
the two of us,
and the females hovering behind him.

Wise,
His old eyes spoke to me,
They said 
“I am like you. 
I love, I feel, I hurt.
I am, like you.”

Sympathetic,
I put my hand on the glass
and with all the 
consciousness of the world,
he did the same.
With tears in my eyes,
I smiled.

Then, he pooped in his other hand
and wiped it on the glass.
This was a sign of endearment.
I laughed out loud.
And I swear,
He smiled back.


Details | Narrative | |

SEA TO SHINNING SEA

SEA TO SHINNING SEA,
 
...this is so intimate of time, as a first kiss of time is...so close of soul, so near, so dear of heart beat, so precious a rhyme that flows so intimately,
 
deep of time, down by the Crystal Seas...
 
...this is so intimate of dreams,
dreaming reality,
 
as the Crystal Sea so reveals of destinies galore,
sparkles,
destined as the night light of the moon-glows of starry eyes,
upon the waters,
 
...gazing
 
...seeing tranquility upon the waves...
watching to the depth of a dream,
and a sun-rise
 
being so true...
 
for underneath and within this a moon-lit poem of starry night eyes, down by the Crystal Seas, a vessel sets sail upon the deep...into a kiss of dawn...
 
Sea to shinning Sea.
 
mb(2011)
 


Details | Couplet | |

Blessed

How blessed I am that you are in my life
Not a day goes by when I do not think of you
You make everything alright
To you I do not have to prove myself
For you know me
I love you

How blessed I am that you are in my life
How honoured I am to be a part of yours
Memories made and shared
With you the one I love
My friend, my lover, my queen
'Til the end


Details | I do not know? | |

A Sand Box Experiment

Little Jenny was always found to be very prim and proper/
Outside reading her cook book by Betty Crocker/
Lazy Mary Sat on the lazy suzanne,
Butch Malone was their next of kin kissing cousin,
Along with Mary this made up the famed dirty dozen !
That sand box experiment really made us laugh/
Shortly after gym class,

Butch Malone along with the famed Benjamin Bankhead/
Jimmy Foley the local guitar player knew,
The pathway in life that we should choose/
Often he would be found taking a tremendous dump in the boy's urenil !

The path of least resistance sought about from a chosen few,

Often he would appear in shepherds clothing similar to little boy blue !

Playing guitar like he's going out of style !
That sandbox experience was designed to distract all the teacher's ?
We set up stuffed dummies just to look like real people,
Right underneath the bleacher's !

Old man Winter's who worked for Mr. Kazoo knew the score/
Very often he was being seen outside the local liqour store,
Lest I emplore,

The sand box experiment was in full swing on that one particuler day/

Butch Malone thought he was the real king ?
That was until Mrs. Maloney saw him through the window !
Next the time was drawing near/
Then so was that dinner bell,

Mrs. Maloney started talking to all those dummies,

Next thing you know she had tripped over little Johnny !
He was stuffed that was/
Flying three feet high in the air she had fell right on her face !
What a social disgrace !

Yet what had happened to Butch Malone ?
Like a little dog without his bone/
He pee pee'd his pants then cried all the way home !
The next day when Mrs. Maloney got her second wind/

She didn't even know where to begin/

For that little stunt the whole class was suspended for the day,
Yet for the gang including Butch Malone what did they say ?
All in all the sandbox experiment really did make their day !


Details | Light Poetry | |

Intelligent love

My girlfriend telling me
That my love talk is useless
So I throw away all the love poems
I write for her while feeling depress

That same day it start snowing
The place was cold as ice
She calling next to her
So she on the sofa looking very nice

Now she feeling cold
She said come here honey
I said bee sucks honey from flowers
And flowers can give allergy

She looks at me like I crazy
What the hell you talking bout
I said hell is a place for bad people
And they you can never come out

I use to tell her I love you
With my words and poem
Then she says my words are stupid
So now I would not repeat them

She said my conversations
Of love are meaningless
And now I don’t show my love again
She said I’m cold and heart less

I don’t have education or degree
All I have is the facts of lie
To make a happy home and be faithful
And always love my beautiful wife

But she talks to some of her friends
About some divine way to see eternity
Like if any that will help me
To pay my bills and care for my family

Now I read a lot of books
Because I never when to school
So now when she talks to me
I will no longer look like a fool

Now she feeling romantic
She says tell me you love me
I said there is love for pets, for friends and family
So can you put in a specific category?

She laughs and says you made your point
Now I completely understand
But I was looking to find the meaning
With a dictionary in my hand

I just want to be prepared
To learn as much information
So next time she with her friends
I could join in their intelligent conversation


Details | Burlesque | |

He Who Depends on Extenze

A miracle pill
Makes "that certain part of a male body"
Much bigger...
This commercial the trigger
For 100 million sales
And it never fails

So ol' tom sent for some,
Not that he had any prospect
Of needing such a miracle
Just curious, you might say

And lo and behold,
After the very first day...
My big toe was 18 inches long
No shoe could I get on

So if you believe these claims
Remember what some are
The secret's in the RX27 fiber technology
And they go so far 
To back up their claims
With goobley-gook
Buy this spoon, you'll be a cook!

They treat us as morons,
Well, perhaps they're right
But must I endure this drivel
Day and night?

Makes me laugh, that's true
But then again,
You probably want to see
What they can do.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Jeremey Kyle

In the morning I watch old Jeremy Kyle 
I sit I listen have a laugh and a smile
For the lives of those on this show are tawdry
As they sit on T. V. airing dirty laundry

They leave loads of messages on that Facebook
They have the texts he can take a look
Well, well, well put something on the end of it
After the lie detector results they are all having a fit

When paternity is between just two blokes 
Then neither is the father it’s no flipping joke
She says she has not slept with anyone else at all
She must be joking I hear you all call

Someone has stolen my money from me
I brought them along it is one of the three
But not one of them did it so where did it go
I hope we find out on a later show

They call it a full house hear Jeremy say
You’re the dad you have to pay
A contact centre for a start
To show the kid you have a heart

The addicts and alcoholics he helps to get clean
With help from our genius Graham and his wonderful team
So if you get up and you’re feeling up tight
Just watch the kylester for he makes mornings bright


Englands answer to an agony aunt an agony uncle coming to a television near you soon.


Details | Free verse | |

And You Wonder Why I Am Not E-Mailing You part 1

Does the whole world need hearing aids
Or am I just that Dumb
I was trying to get hooked to the internet
But I was sure something was wrong
"I've got you signed up.
Now just hang up the phone
And redial the technicians
Just follow their instructions and you're on."
So I hang up the phone
Go to the computer room
And since it isn't wireless 
I check out the phone jack.
Whoa, something isn't right
There is no cord to the phone jack
And thus none to the computer
By heck.
I call up the tech and he says
"Don't worry about a thing
That's my job to connect you 
To the phone line."
"But" I try to say
"You don't understand I'm not connected to the phone line."
"That's my job," said he
"Just follow my directions and you will soon be."
"But I think I need help."
"That's why I'm here" said he
"I'll connect you if you 
Just follow my lead."
So I shut up and he walks me through the steps,
"Just hang up the phone 
And push START
And you will be on your very own."


Details | Free verse | |

Not Exaggerating

A new life it seems 
Has come my way
In the mountains 
And plains of Wy-o-ming

I look out of my window
And Antelope play
Go out to the kids place
Where the buffalo stay

The rain has been plenty
And the winds not still
If you call blowing
A 500 lb ol’ lady down a hill

I exaggerated a bit
But how would you know
You ain’t ever seed me
So I’ll just let it go.

From a big house 
With no spare room
I now live in a trailer
Just a little bit closer to all of my treasures

I’m trying to fit in and believe me
I say it with a grin
I’ll just give you an example 
My friends

At the Arena Football Game the other night
My son-in-law got bored
He took out his great big knife
While I watched them make a next score

Next thing I knew folks 
Folks were falling off of their seats
And when I turned around
The same thought hit me

He had cut if the bottoms off of two plastic beer bottles
And was holding them up to his eyes like a pair of goggles

And just about then 
All around started to sing 
Billy’s got his beer goggles on
Only his name is Fred but what the heck

You see him ‘n me gits ‘long great
Our only goal in life
Is to see which of us 
Can out do the other

I went garage saleing
With them the next day
And I bought two air conditioners
Per se

And when we arrived 
Back at my place
We stuffed one in my pickup
And the other in his truck

Remember I told you 
My house is quite small
It’s almost impossible
To walk in the door at all

It was late
And the wind and rain
Made installing them
Something for another day

I guess things can’t be too bad between us
Cause I gave him permission to use my lawn tractor
But dog gone sometimes he can be to nice
Making me feel like he’s my baby sitter

But the day he hollered, “Do you want your coke ‘n  cane”
Shirlee hollered back, “Fred, don’t use those two words so close together
The neighbors might hear 
And get the wrong impression”

So as the sun in the west
Shines in my eyes
I’ll close for now
And wish you all a good night
                                               Cile Beer


Details | Free verse | |

And You Wonder Why I Am Not E-Mailing You part 2

I did as he said and got the word FAILED
I call back to the tech and naturally get another male
Again I try to tell this one my predicament
And he says, "That's what I do is hook you to the internet."
"You don't understand I don't have a phone line.."
"Oh they gave you to the wrong department. 
I'll get someone to help you 
Just hold on."
Forty-five minutes and two techs later
I was so mad I was bawling 
And begged to cancel my membership.
"Don't cry dear we'll get you connected yet."
"You can't" was my reply.
"Yes we can just be patient."
"You don't understand. Nobody would listen to me.
I don't have a wire from the phone jack to the computer.
Can you understand?"
"You don't?"
"No I've been telling you and the last three techs
You can't connect me because of that."
"Just get a wire and I'll get you connected to the internet."
"I don't have one
Or I would have hooked it up forty-five minutes ago. 
Just let me cancel 
I'm going to Kansas tomorrow.
"How long will you be gone?"
"Three weeks."
"Than I'll give you a free month."
"No!! Don't you hear me yet?"
"Alright I'll let you off," he said. 
And finally removed my name or so I though.
Until I get back to Kansas 
And walk into my bank.
"I'm glad to see you.  
Do you know anything about this?" 
And handed me A bill for $30.00 
For my so called canceled internet.
I then relayed the story 
But was unsure how 
They had sent it to me personally
Using my bank' address.
When I arrived in Casper
The first thing I did do
Was contact the unnamed internet
Probably somewhere near a zoo.
I don't have the internet
Much less a TV
It's kind of like living 
In another century.
But I always said I was born a century too late
Guess I'll just make do
And hope on my next trip to Kansas 
The stage isn't too late.


Details | Limerick | |

I'm Growing

<                                  economic woes
                                    say it isn't so
                                    fruits vegetables of divine
                                    artificial added such a crime
                                    sow garden  W.T.G     {Way To Go}
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    


Details | Light Poetry | |

What A Liar

Eve Rules
  Adam Drools  {Joseph Spence }

My garden
  Beg Your Pardon

Succalant Mango
     Let's Tango

Vineyard
    Man Work Hard

More grapes
   Apples Ate

Bare Essance
   My preference

Why Oh Why
  Did Adam Try


Cause Snaked Lied
   And Humanity Died


Details | Acrostic | |

Clean Up Time

Clear the table
Line the books along the shelves
Everyone join in
Arrange the chairs so none can fall
Naughty children don’t pitch in

Under chairs and under tables check we haven’t missed a toy
Paints and brushes put away

Toys are all picked up for today
I read a story as we wait
Mom’s or Dad’s are on their way
Everyone its time to go…..I hope you had a real fun day


Details | Limerick | |

' Intelligence - Impediment ' (Limerick # 1)

‘ Intelligence-Impediment ’

There Was A-Lisping Professor, Named Panamo’
Who gave his Students, an Assignment on Plato’
… But he was quite perplexed in Mind
… When They, came with clay-figures of some Kind
Not Realizing, They All Thought, He’d Said, ‘Play Doh’ ...


Details | Light Poetry | |

The 21st century

This new age technology
Have me confuse I must confess
Cause while I spending more money
Everything else is getting less

I will give you some example
Hope you don’t get depress
But if I’m telling the truth 
Just answer and tell me yes

Our telephones now
Are all wire wireless
And them new stoves
 Now are completely fireless

A woman in Trinidad washing cloths
On the tree she throws her dress
I ask her why not use a line
She say she going wireless

Google making new cars now
That is driverless
And you just press a button to start
Its is also keyless

They even changing fast food also
To make them completely fatless
So you can eat all you want
While your wallet become cashless

A woman in Malaysia
Have to children who are jobless
And she quarrelling with her husband
Because them wives today are fearless

So while the cost of living rising
Our value become less
The world is in recession
Those leaders are directionless

Today you see young couples
Some of them cheat so heartless
Because to them relationships
Are completely meaningless

Some today have bad attitudes
And live life so careless
And when you tell them good morning
They say mind your own business

 My friend the romantic dude 
With then women he has success
But if he don’t marry one
Then he will be living wifeless

The fees in universities are expensive
While education are become valueless
And everywhere in the world today
You will meet people who are manner less

A man buys his wife a perfume
They call it timeless
Then he trying to lose some weight
so he drink is completely  sugarless

My girlfriend gives me lunch in a bowl
It was completely soup less
Them ask me if my belly full
Saying today we going foodless

So I tell her yes darling
It was so delicious
Because if I hurt her feeling
She might leave me loveless

Yes the 21 st century
Has everything is getting less
But still am and optimist
And will keep my hope endless


Details | Couplet | |

You Snooze You Lose

<                                                  You Snooze
                                                     You Lose

                                                     Lazy Head
                                                     Get Out Of Bed

                                                      No Bread
                                                      No Fead

                                                      Big Bob
                                                      Get A Job

                                                      Soap Queen
                                                      Loves To Dream

                                                      Got Dough
                                                      Hell  No !

                                                      Rather Sleep
                                                      Then Leap

                                                      Sweet Dreams
                                                      Wanna Scream

                                                      Gotta    Go  !
                                                      Work You Know 

                                                      See    Ya    Later
                                                            Alligator !

                                                     
                                       
                                                   

                                                       




 
     


Details | Limerick | |

Garbage Dump//For Limerick Game

In many and many ages hence
Standing on a hill that makes no sense
Archaeologist dig way down
Found way beneath a Royal Crown
Bad odor becoming intense

(This for Limerick Game or whatever passed from C.E.McMillen.  I pass the Limerick torch to 
Doris Culverhouse lovely daughter).


Details | Free verse | |

lost, found, and liberated

i use to lie awake at night 
and ponder of this pointless life 
up for hours and not make a sound 
i once was lost but now i am found
my sea of confusion, like moses did part
the instant i let jesus inside of my heart...
but than i let out a gigantic huge fart 
and realized it was just indigestion 
than like a sensible person, i began to question 
and out of those questions, came rational thought 
and all of the things in school i was taught 
like critical thinking and following facts 
so i came to the conclusion: religions a quack 
now i live happily, in awe of earth's mysterious beauty 
and if you don't like it, you can kiss my patooty


Details | I do not know? | |

high sChOOL

He said, She said
That's all you seem to hear
When you walk down the hall
It's the same thing every year

Unecessary drama
That's all high school's about
You can try to avoid being trapped in it
But you'll never find a way out

Life was so simple
Before our high school days
Before we became caught up
In the 'how to be popular' craze

High school's so overrated
Ive waited 13 years to say
Im a senior so leave me out of it
I'm just here til Graduation Day


Details | Rhyme | |

ode underwater

I've got this listing, sinking feeling
that I owed most of my life to my bank.
Hands in the air, reaching for debt ceiling,
yet another fine mess, with no one to thank.

Guns all put down, the pen reigns mightier
can't fight the bank, let alone hit myself.
Contracts contracted, assurances flightier
seems the whole world's overextended itself.

I ode some words, I owed some dollars
'course everyone I talk to is in the same boat.
Can't answer my phone for collecting callers,
looking to ourselves, line of credit, to float.

I'm maxed they've determined, but I'm appealing
my mortgage, in arrears, beyond my credit score.
All my creditors say that defaulting is stealing
I gave a stone and blood, still they want more.

Seems to everyone, I owe myself, that's no joke
shouldn't be depressed, but maybe I oughter.
Dunno if I'm myself, or like all nations folk,
I've underwritten much of this ode underwater.

'course if I owe some B and B owes to C 
and C owes somebody else...well back to me,
then it seems that we all owe to each other,
our mountain of debt is brother to brother.

Would some rebalancing of our balance sheets
starve our children, kick us out into streets?
Maybe we should waive our bankruptcy hearing
and admit it's to life we're really endearing.

© Goode Guy 2011-06-10


Details | Rhyme | |

School Is In

Walking to the end,
of this old wooden dock.
The tranquility of the pond,
is disturbed, 
with a wizz and a plop
Ripples ,run from this,
bright orange bobber.
To town has come,
the foolish fish, robber.
Beneath the surface,
Old Tom sees,
a flash of gold ,
and wriggly brown.
For the reaper ,
has come,
to this watery town.
One young Bream,
plays hooky,
 from the school.
Ole Tom yells wait,
don't go there,
you fool.
Ah ...but the promise,
of a free ,
high protein meal.
Has already sealed,
the poor fingerlings deal.
With a splash ,
and flash of silver,
he goes.
The young fish stare in horror,
but 0le Tom knows.
Stay in school,
because the first,
shiny thing that comes your way,
may have a catch.


Details | Free verse | |

The Bill of Rights, Part II

No illegal search and seizure
Says amendment Number Four
Probable cause necessary
Before we break down your door.
The warrant spells out what they search,
Describing things they will seize.
So hide them where you know they won’t
Go to the judge, and say, “Please.”

Number Five’s an uncommon gem
It says we won’t take your life
Without due process of the law,
Or by talking to your wife.
Testimony from yourself, and
Oh, yeah, double jeopardy,
Will never be responsible
For removing liberty.

We will not take your property
For a bridge or a highway.
Not without compensating you
But, please, stay out of the way.
We’ll never pay you what it’s worth,
Nor what the market will bear.
We shall pay you what we think’s right
And so what if it’s not fair?

So now we come to Number Six:
Speedy trial for you and me.
Impartial juries we will have
‘Less the press first runs the story.
We will inform you of the crime
They think you have committed.
And let you confront eyewitness
And a lawyer, not dim witted.

So here we are, now at Seven,
But this one’s kind of dicey.
It’s about the common law,
And the cost of controversy.
The courts have set some precedents
From the beginning to this year
So put this one from your mind, but
Don’t let lawyers know your fear.

Punishment cruel, or excessive
Is listed in Number Eight.
High bails and fines not imposed
Except in a crime of hate.
This allows a sentence of death
When combined with Number Five.
So, while stoning is a no, no.
Injection can take your life.

The rights for you, herein displayed
Shall not be the only item.
Number Nine says it right clear
Other rights are not denied ‘em.
This simply means, to you and me,
We’re somewhat free, to a point.
Beware of our society
For they say no to that joint.

This now brings us to Number Ten
About powers left on the rack.
If it’s not stated by this doc
States, and people, take up the slack.
The constitution delegates
Power to the three branches.
But if they overstep these bounds
Beware election chances.


Details | Haiku | |

$$$$$MONEY$$$$$$

FRIENDS $$$WITH$$$ THEIR$$HANDS$$$OUT.


EVERYBODY $$HAS$$ A $$$$NEED.

OUT OF $$$ CASH $$$$ NO FRIENDS.


Details | Haiku | |

You Don't Phase Me

dogs come cats go
just like moon waxing
Don't let it phase you



Tribute To Moon Waxing LOL

Also Don't Forget To
Turn Those Clocks Back


Details | Light Poetry | |

Spacking


* This is a new word for the English dictionary. This word should
be added as a matter of course. I can't find it anywhere in the Dictionary!


Spacking   (spa-ki-ng)

That is when you
Brush your teeth
And lay down
To take a nap
Be-fore you go to Church
      -----
Which is derived from the root word
Spacking Fection (spa-ck-ing fic-tion)
Which mean's before you
Go to school......

            GF

* Note: In the word's of Darling Pinky!


Details | Rhyme | |

The Art of Winning

Winning is easy I don't even try if I said that I did it would be a lie that which I steer clear from a cardinal sin if your asking about me your learning to win And for whatever reason is a reason, at all because it keeps you going determination so raw its a beautiful feeling a winning nature means winning, at all it takes such an artist to conquer the fall its how softly I've landed that last time, you see just a bit of half stepping winning comes to be


Details | Light Poetry | |

Runaway Train { Footle}

Runaway Train

    Conductor No Brain


Off His Track
     Didn't Look Back


Cargo Debris
   Blowing In Breeze


Poor Boxcar Willie
       Got Knocked Silly


Sam The Man
      Was Simply Canned 

I Did Yell
    What The Hell


Details | Free verse | |

Somebody Loves Me

Produced 50 yrs ago
My master Pravin Pant Sr.
Felt it was time for my Just Born coop to grow
So he introduced me to some other chicks
Bunnies bats cats pumpkins and
Even thought of placing some lucky stars
In for the heck of it what a day of cellabration
Now he has flipped his lid once again and took a few friends back
Had turned them into lip balms but I don't mind
For they will stay forever fresh on my lips as I speak of them
I been dropped off buildings had been steam rolled over
And each time I bounced back with zest
So please come rescue us from this crazy farmer
Place me in a warm basket or cake or even a dressed table 
For I m just a little peep looking for somebody to love



To The Peep 
In All Of Us    LOL


Details | Limerick | |

Holy Crap

Na- Nu Na-Nu
greetings earthlings How do you do
I'm captain Zendor from planet Sur Render 
shazbot someone crashed into my spaceship's fender
hit me so hard made me go krap-poo


Details | Couplet | |

Get A Rope

Gun slinger
    Matt Zinger

Dressed in black
     Didn't come back

High Noon
    Was Doomed

Quick Draw
      McGraw

Got A Rope
   Hung that dope

Undertaker Called
    Dead Body Hauled

Poured the whisky
     From Junction 60

Dead Man's Trail
  Where slingers failed









Details | Lyric | |

I Am A Jock

A bad play
On a deep and dark September
Gazing from these bleachers
To that ref who blew that call
On a freshly painted court in the middle of fall

I am A Jock
I am A Flock


I've got balls
A fortress deep and plenty
That none will discinagrate
For friendship brings me joy
It's laughter from my best friend Roy


I am A Jock
I am A Flock

Don't talk  hate
For I've heard much before
It's resting in my head
And I'll try not to wake
So It doesn't make you cry
For if I never would of put on that cup
You've  never heard  awwwww shut up


I am A Jock
I am A Flock


I have my hooks
And my cup to protect me
I am such a world charmer
Hiding behind an ump
So another won't bump
I touch no one and he better not touch me


I am A Jock
I am A Flock


And a Jock feels no pain
And a flock seems to die




This is off spin
To Simon And Garfunkle's
I am A Rock    LOL
Gl All


Details | Rhyme | |

Betty C A True Story

Talk about embarrassment
You won’t believe how my day went
Joe and I went out to dine
Came back at a decent time
A storm had come – a storm had gone
Left every house with no lights on
We hadn’t bothered with a key
We count on electricity
To open up our garage door
That’s all we ever used before
Well, Joe had golf with early light
We had to get in the house that night
We looked for a window we could break
Here’s where we made our first mistake
The basement windows looked too small
There’s no way I could fit at all
So a garage window had to do
We broke it and I climbed on through
Joe’s upset, it cost three bills
I’d be dead if looks could kill
But bright and early Joe left home
And I was left there all alone
I called a guy to fix the window
But what size, I said I don’t know
So into the garage to measure it
He said he’d bring me one to fit
And with that I hung up the phone
Turned to go back in my home
But unlike any night before
We had set the knob to lock the door
I can’t believe – locked out again
Just in a towel and bare skin
I cracked the back door – looked around
Saw no one – I’m backyard bound
Back to a basement window sill
I have to fit – I hope I will
I take a hammer, break the glass
Whip off the towel there in the grass
I lay it down so I don’t cut
My ankles, calves or my bare butt
I slither in and hit the floor
Into the house through the basement door
I quickly dress – the repair man comes
And we’ve new windows at quite a sum
I learned some lessons as would you
If a day like this you had gone through.
Know through which window you will fit
If it ever comes to it!
A basement window costs much less!
Never go outside undressed!
A towel’s only good inside!
Learn the places you can hide!
And always carry your house key
Or know where an extra one might be !
It bares repeating – when your husband’s gone
Don’t get locked out with no clothes on!
 
This actually happened just about as I described to a neighbor of ours.  It was 
years ago and in another state but I still changed names to protect their standing in 
the community.


Details | Free verse | |

Silly Poem

ABC
is written on the board,

123
Is covering the floor

Ladybugs and bumble bees
come flying through the air

Bouncing balls and skipping ropes,
are banging on the walls

Snakes fly and pigs swim
through this chaos-happy room

Give me just a minute
to go find a broom

Straws and juice,
are falling from the ceiling,

Duck!
the children just brought the geese inside


Details | I do not know? | |

The Face Girl

So I wake up every morning at five thirty,
Have to take a shower, I feel so dirty.

Get dressed and off I go to the bus,
Every morning tired and sad but I
Don’t make a fuss.

Have to get to the bus stop early and wait,
Don’t really mind accept for the people
In their cars, they are the ones I hate.

Finally arrived, a half hour before school starts,
Sit down and “Face” walks by and farts.

Turn on the computer and pull out my books,
And watch them all give “Face” dirty
looks.

You see “Face” rides a bike to school 
But we all know it’s a cover
 for her “witch’s” broom. And
that’s because of the way
she acts in the classroom.

Geez all she seems to do it itch and nag
No one cares “Face” your just an
some old hag.

At least there isn’t a dull moment here,
But if I get annoyed 
I’m gonna flick her in the ear.


Details | Light Poetry | |

SHOPPING CART CAN MAN

its money some think it funny
to see this man
withhis hands
picking up cans
well its money honey
its in plan
SHOPPING CART CAN MAN


Details | Senryu | |

Never Told a Lie

if George Washington
never told a lie, then no
president has lied


Details | Concrete | |

Up

...


                                               Up
                                           Up     Up
                                         Up        Up
                                        Up          Up
                                       Up            Up
                                      Up              Up
                                               Up
                                               Up
                                               Up
                                               Up
                                               Up




(The movie "Up" if you haven't seen it is worth the effort. )


Details | Haiku | |

There's No Place Like Home

the great sand bubbler
watches incoming ribbed tide
from burrows back home


Details | Couplet | |

STUBBORN

My intention is to write some prose
Why it comes out poems, nobody knows
I struggle, wiggle, leave me alone
As I sit happily writing a poem


Words are created and suddenly rhyme
I hardly revise them – I’ve not the time
Give up the idea of writing a book?
I feel I’m caught by a crook and a hook


Following rules as the semester unfolds
Smothers my brain; puts creating on hold
When I find a second that isn’t filled
I’ll write a poem, ‘cause I’m strongly self-willed!



Details | Free verse | |

A running Chestnut- verbosity

Oh my she said what loquacity to speak to me that way  									 in short she was being short which to me is puzzling with prolixity 						 with her haughty grandiloquence to say what I find garrulous     								Her opinion also me thinks to be concise rhymes with logorrhea       							 I apologize for my dear lady for any misunderstandings on your Part 								to be precise and to the point I am going to drag this sokal affair                                                                                         	out into the open with all the facts with such verbosity 									that you will get the dust out your dictionary and contrary to public accurateness                                                                                             	read and understand the word and not change it to appease itching ears     							Disclaimer I was not in intentionally trying to harm anyone									  I hope no one was hurt by a seemingly long rant


Details | Rhyme | |

Teaching Is Not

Teaching is not brain surgery,
But it is brain enhancing.
Teaching is not rocket science,
Unless you’re assigned to teach it.
Teaching is not a bad profession,
But you do to prepare meaningful lessons.
Teaching is not what just what formal educators do.
Teaching is part of every career that you choose.
Teaching is not terrible.
It could be fun,
Especially if your students are learning,
And the teacher and the good grades are dancing,
Believe me it is rewarding and unbearable.



wrote Fall 2004 
while student teaching @ Neville High School in Monroe, LA,
while a student @ ULM


Details | Haiku | |

Boy Are You Slow

look ancient creatures
marching through millennia
at slow steady pace








Tribute To Turtles  LOL


Details | Sonnet | |

Minnesota Nice

The great upper mid west
Minnesota put to the test
Ten thousand lakes and streams
Reality for many who like to dream


From Itasca state park
To the Louisiaina's wooden bark
The mighty Mississippi flows
Gently down the outcrop she goes


Crime rates are always's on the rise
But really does it come as such a surprise
Everyone seems to like to hug
Except when its a mosquito bug


So many call us Minnesota Nice
But some still say were Cold as Ice




Details | Free verse | |

Mayhem in the Mourning

Sleepy, I walked down the senior hallway
The last door on the left seemed miles away
But I was determined to make it
It was 7:26 in the morning, assignment due 7:30
My hands were sweating bullets
Felt as if every senior had their eyes on me
Assignment in hand, I started my journey
Nerd, jocks, cheerleaders all bunched together in one walk-way
You would think I was a running back, of some sort
Dodging the potential mayhem
Judy with the big booty was being so loud
Laughing and screaming with her friends
Drew and the crew obnoxious as usual,
Were going over plays, at least it looked like it
Trampling any victim in their path
The Nerd Bird flocking in e=mc2
Calculate who will have a date in time for prom
Starting with Judy, my hands were no match
The sound waves catapulted me into the lockers
Side to side I juked, spun, and jumped
Like a magnet bouncing off the rhinoceros crew
For the Nerds, I only had to say one thing…
“I already have a date for prom…”
That sent them into a mathematical frenzy
Looking at their watches they said, “Prom is exactly
218 days 13 hours 27 minutes and 10 seconds away…
There is no way you have your date!”
While they babbled on I was on the move
The last mayhem was upon me: The hall monitor
He already saw my awesome display of athleticism
But didn’t find it amusing, He was one of those guys…
If you dropped a piece of paper on the floor, detention
I just distracted him by saying, “I didn’t have breakfast…”
We both didn’t know where that came from 
So I just kept waking while he was still confused
Stumbled into class, discrediting my previous display 
And turned in my homework assignment


Details | Free verse | |

It's A Mad Mad Mad World Out There

I want to know
What happens after
This confrontation

Well  !
Well  !


Dr Jekyll

Experimented

With potion

And

Mr Hyde

Tested
It
Too

And

It 
Made 
Em

Both

Mad !
Mad !
Mad !

I
Tell
You
Mad !


Details | I do not know? | |

ART

Art is art is Art,

and as such it will be confrontational to someone,

and will at some point in it’s existence, 

piss someone off every minute of the day



( CLiPiCs AKA Kriss Lee: 03-06-09)


Details | Rhyme | |

Where the Devil Hit the Ground

There's a place somewhere
East Jesus to be exact
Did you ever wonder why
They call it that?

It's a fruitless waste
Where trees spontaneously combust
There's a mark on the ground
Where the Devil bit the dust

He left a charcoal scythe
As he skidded along
Crying to the heavens
That he'd done no wrong

After years of tears and moans
He grew angry and bitter
"Injustice" he cried
"We'll see who's the quitter"

So here we are now
Ten millenia later
Heeding the spot
That spawned emos, men, and haters


Details | Senryu | |

Brain

The thinking noodle
Use it sometimes and let no
One noodle fool you.





Wrote Fall 2004
while student @ University of Louisiana-Monroe


Details | Burlesque | |

Study,Study,Study

Study!study!study!
Mum says,yelling each day.
If only she could understand
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Finding My Pure Heart

All the violence on TV was probably not good for me
All the decapitated corpses on video games not the brightest idea for me
Life’s real dramas just frustrate me
All the fabricated television dramas annoy me
We all love a happy ending yet we consume the misery and pain of others
Haunted by life changing events
At times I just simply need to vent
Why be educated and humble when being ignorant and shallow brings you fame
Why save your virginity for marriage, when society’s sluts take all the good guys that a girl covets
Why be a nice guy, when all the respectable women settle for assholes yet are surprised when they are mistreated and cheated on
Why live a life down the correct path, when the wrong path is glorified and admired by society
Beneath the darkness and rubble of life exist the flickering white light of my once pure heart


Find more of my writings and poems at jorgesouthkorea.com


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Spill The Beans

let's See
     If He

Will Hang
     With Gang

Or Will
 Just Spill

How Many
If Any

Seconds

Are there

In A

Year ?


Now Don't 
Leave Me

Hanging !   { LOL}




Details | Rhyme | |

True Camel's

On African deserts you must be wary,
Of the famous one humped Dromedary.
He is jealous of his Asian brother,
Who has that hump and then another!

That Bactrian camel (the one with two humps)
Must slow way down when crossing bumps!
When those humps hit they go, "Ker-Splatt!"
Did you know those things are filled with fat?

Bactrian camel's are handsome guys,
With long thick brows around their eyes!
With those two humps and pretty faces,
They're very popular at the oasis!

So that's the story of True Cammel's
That happy, humpy desert mammal.
On any desert you should be wise,
Park your car and ride these guys!

Copyright 2010 Karma Adamson

Karma
Copyright 2010 Karma Adamson


Details | Light Poetry | |

Got Maury

Got Drama
        Oh Mama

This One Guy
       Don't Pass By


Five Days A Week
       Turn Dial's And Seeks

Not His
  110 % Sure Is

Caught In Act
          With Other In Sack

Control Freaks
     Mothers Who Seek

Out Of Control Teens
  Sometimes Drag Queens

Fifthy Time Liars
       Maury's For Hire


Details | Clerihew | |

The Life Of A Fictitious Person { Daddy Warbucks}

Daddy Warbucks
All I can Say Is Oh Shucks !
Pennies Nickles Dimes and Quarters
Digging alittle deeper for I know he likes to still hoarder



Entry For Matt Caliri's Contest


Details | Free verse | |

asdg jkl'

lets say perhaps perchance
in to have a nice day searching your on second thought
kiss off
and go bend over backwards doing it


Details | Bio | |

YANKS

THERES NOTHING LIKE THE YANKS!
TRADING INSULTS AND EXPECKTING THANKS.
INVADING OTHERS LANDS AND MINDS!
SELLING TRINKETS LIKE LAND MINES!
THE MONGRELS OF THE GOOD OLD BOYS.
BUSHY TAILED FOXES WITH NUCLEAR TOYS.
SLIPPIN IN OIL AND SLAVE RICH SPOILS.
SUPERMAN AND SATAN HAVE PLENTY OF TOOLS!
LOOKING INTO THE WISHING WELL!
SOME SEE HEAVEN AND SOME SEE HELL!
THE GREAT PIED PIPER LEADS THEM ALL IN THANKS.
THE DEVILS HAVE ARRIVED WITH THE PRIDE OF THE YANKS!


Details | I do not know? | |

The Face Girl

So I wake up every morning at five thirty,
Have to take a shower, I feel so dirty.

Get dressed and off I go to the bus,
Every morning tired and sad but I
Don’t make a fuss.

Have to get to the bus stop early and wait,
Don’t really mind accept for the people
In their cars, they are the ones I hate.

Finally arrived, a half hour before school starts,
Sit down and “Face” walks by and farts.

Turn on the computer and pull out my books,
And watch them all give “Face” dirty
looks.

You see “Face” rides a bike to school 
But we all know it’s a cover
 for her “witch’s” broom. And
that’s because of the way
she acts in the classroom.

Geez all she seems to do it itch and nag
No one cares “Face” your just an
some old hag.

At least there isn’t a dull moment here,
But if I get annoyed 
I’m gonna flick her in the ear.


Details | Limerick | |

Halitosis

When a schoolteacher’s got halitosis
What his pupils fear most when he’s close is
That the smell of his breath
It  could choke them to death
And bring about chronic necrosis


Details | Rhyme | |

Mrs. Worth, Joyce Kilmer, and Me

When I was yet in grade school, my teacher gave to me,
a task I thought most surely would be the death of me.
She ordered me to write a verse, in any style I chose,
I will tell you right up front that at her words I froze!

I thought long and hard on it, as any schoolgirl would,
still coming up with nothing did something no kid should.
There in my mother’s bedroom, stored on her bedside nook,
I found my dusty savior, ‘twas mama’s poem book!

I read until I found a poem anyone would think,
was ok, not quite perfect, one step above “what stinks.”
I began to jot it down, unaware what lay ahead,
she’d ne’er be the wiser as my pilfered poem was read.

As I wrote I altered words, for even I could see,
with just a couple changes, ‘twould sound the more like me.
The title seemed so boring, that I switched it as well,
now she’d think this poem was mine and say my work was swell!

Hot cheeked at her desk I stood, as her accusations flew,
suddenly, I don’t know why, my mouth began to move!
“This is really weird,” I lied, “as strange as it could be,
that this guy Mr. Kilmer would write so much like me!”

Sent home with a message, addressed to you know who,
it explained “our” little problem and what I’d have to do.
Red cheeked at the other end, I sat that very night,
when suddenly words emerged and I began to write!

Words floated onto paper, as I in anger vowed,
to write something much better than “trees whose heads are bowed.”
Mrs. Worth, though long gone now, I hope will somehow see,
how her dastardly assignment set my  spirit free!

One thing to remember, should a harsh critique you read,
ignore what isn’t useful, accept that which you need,
never get discouraged if the kudos don’t come through,
‘cause even old Joyce Kilmer once had a bad review!


Details | I do not know? | |

We belong together

        When I left I lost apart of me, It's still so hard to believe she's not worth it 
baby we belong together. I threw away all my other friends so we could be together but 
your not even happy with me how could this be we belong together? I spent 3 years on you 
for nothing and we were suppose to be something. How could you just walk out that door? 
How could you leave me here crying for more? How could you walk off and go marry her? We 
belong together. I couldn't sleep since that night when you walked out my life, I called 
and call and listen to sad songs on the radio. I always think of you and it's making it 
hard, your the one who left and i'm the one whose left here to mourn it's not fair that 
i'm left with this we belong together. She doesn't tuck you in tight and your always 
slipping off her mind she flirts with pretty much everyone. I saw her in the store 
kissing some other guy and you claim that i'm jealous of her. How could you say something 
like that when I had you first you walked out of my life and I didn't ever ask for the 
wedding ring back. Why are you constantly lying like a jerk with a big ego I just wanted 
you to know that we don't belong together. Maybe I was right when I wrote you a dear john 
letter, and slam the door in your face when I caught you with her. Though it hurts me 
deep inside I finally realized that we don't belong together. I can sleep at night 
without you by my side, I'm not lonely anymore. I only think of you when i'm on a date 
and I can smile and thank god that this one is nothing like you. We don't belong 
together.


Details | Light Poetry | |

No Your Not Civil At All

Civility

      Now let's see

               Goverment

                   Mixed messages sent


                                One for all

                                        Who made call ?


                                                   Unfair trades

                                                          Loved ones laid


                                                                      I'm still broke

                                                                                But won't choke


                                                                                                   Civility

                                                                                                             Not for me

                                        


Details | I do not know? | |

AS THEY LEAVE (1)

As they leave,
They leave for us 
Calabash full of sorrow and agony
They leave for men a plate of frustration
And desperation.

As they leave
They leave for women nothing
But cups of tears and fears

As they leave
They leave for old ones a basket
Full of fruits of ultimate death and shame

As they leave
They leave for workers a big bowl 
Of empty promises, unpaid salaries
And incessant strike actions

As they leave
They leave for students a stabbed
And crippled students’ union,
Ramshackle and “Renopainted”
Halls of Residence

As they leave
They leave for our generation a loss compass
From which we can find and rediscover our
Moral values, valuable culture 
Instincts of deliberative governance and 
Leadership cum administrative acumen

As it is
We are living with fear of gbu-a-gbu-a 
Of daylight gunshot of the emboldened to 
Extort, encouraged to maim and induced to kill
Ultra-fascists campus cult groups commissioned
To crush all seeming oppositions

As is it
We are living with:-
Biochemists without reagents
Microbiologists without modern microscopes
Linguists without modern language laboratory
Computer students without
Being opportune to hold a mouse
Physiologists without bloodbank.

As it is
We are living with 
Dike archaic books and non books materials
Students and staff  basking in the euphoria
Of stone age and ancient facilities.

As it is
We are living in a garden that detest truth
Genuine intellectualism, dissent views and
Contrary opinions but rather nourishes in
Multi-colour ignorance, white lies, 
Ever green concocted disortions,
Oceanic blu-i-sh sycophancy and reddish intolerance
Which is only reminiscences of the black jackboot
Days of the Abacha junta.



Alayande Stephen. T
20th,September,2005
6.00am


Details | Imagism | |

Shrapnel of Karma

To the North, South, East, and West...

Geniuses are lost in the jaunty jewels of rakish cads,

The hazard morsel palaver allot odium on idioms...

Rankle virulent mishmash wheeze addle chagrin jives,

Loosing a volley of expletives ordure waft charmed oafs,

Self-iniquity gull maven heresy when blighted wizardry jinxes,

Ticklish cynic infidel swindle dupe cozen duress...

Squall patois and whammy sham schemas wriggle hoaxes,

Charlatans and hoodlums melange to dunce vows,

A shyster unquiet quivers with jester gestures now...

Semi-sacrilege vitiate and endemic jargon raze imps,

This collides as a white energy as dolt hooligan knaves beget...

Colloquial bilge putrefy, the rascals soon flatter us,

Bollix of potpourri lingo wanes to tutelary tongues,

Harlequin coercion argot musical novellas in history,

Pray our shifting shrapnel of karma, varnish boor minds,

Erstwhile, live grenades made of better lives are unvanquished as they are 
thrown by unsung heroes into the North, South, East, and West,...amen...


Details | Free verse | |

What I Did Over My Summer Vacation

I chopped and hoed and planted seed
... dug a swimming hole
I picked and shucked and canned the corn
.... killed an ugly mole..
I read some books then read some more..
.... climbed up the old pine trees
I fell right down and hit the ground
.... Skinning both my knees.... 
I played a song .. and danced a spell 
... on Grandma's metal drum
and though she tried to look away
...  I heard my sister hum..
Now that  it's time for back to School..
..  I hate to hear them say..
Now write some words that tell us how
...you spent the holiday!
 


Details | Narrative | |

Tax Time Blues

I am all confused about income tax credits 
Now you ask about something called debits? 
This is really driving me insane with a pain. 
Do I get interest at all for capital gains? 
What can I tell you about common stocks? 
Now liabilities and stockholder’s lock box, 
Is this really a case of stretching my brain? 
All this taxes take our money with no gain. 
Balance sheet increase, this just sounds crazy 
Income statement and loss, this is so hazy! 
It feels like my eyes are just filled with grain. 
Thank you the day is done and it was no fun 
Look at this accounting spreadsheet again? 
Help me lord, now I know I’m going insane! 


Comments:  This is a free verse narrative poem.  I had intended to make it a 
sonnet on taxation.  It was written during an income tax accounting class.  Input 
was received from several students.  Some thought it was really funny, and 
others thought it was very serious. It was read by the professor the week before 
finals and was very motivational.


Details | Couplet | |

Money

With muse in hand
How do I make one understand

I love colors of shaded green
Does not make me nasty or mean

For it's in our lakes
And even in things that we bake

It 's canvass for our trees
Even sometimes stains on our knees

There's hues of bladed grass
Where we have all plop our ass

Even passing clouds
Looking purified and aloud

So here I'll stand and raise a toast
To the color green on money who everyone loves the most





















Details | Acrostic | |

oldman

once there was an old man on a lane
he always had many cats
then he took a train
and went down another lane


Details | I do not know? | |

AP history

AP history 
What a misery

AP history 
What a misery

Quizzes, tests
I took the class
To rest

AP history
What a misery

Too hard of work
Too many words

AP history
What a misery

All the tension
Put around the
Document based question

AP history
What a misery

How I passed
The class
Is a mystery

AP history 
What a misery


Details | Haiku | |

I'm Very Passionate

my bleeding heart - pumps
purple passion just for you
drip drip drip drip drip






Tribute To 
Bleeding Heart Flowers
So Dainty But Beautiful


Details | Quatrain | |

Calling Mimunna Mimunna

******Calling All Poet's*********

Mimunna is a switch/bate scham on the internet that has infiltrated our rank's......
Poet's, write and give her your love. Poet's take the floor and express your love
via E-mail!!!!!!! Get the write-up, up! Kiss>Kiss>Kiss-up!

*****She is at(mine4love8@yahoo.com) Let her know we care!!!!!


MIMUNNA, MIMUNNA

Mimunna, Mimunna
I know that you love me
But, tell me is it me
          Or maybe
       My money
That you are trying
             To free
            ------
You wrote me on the internet
Told me that I was a catch
But, you are nothing to me
Not even an even match
            ------
I told you that I love you
      But, who love's who more
Are you a real person
       Or are you just
An inter-net whore
            -----
A whore on the internet
Writing me back
Seeing if I will fall for you
Maybe give you some scratch
         -----
Baby, your'e Scheme is kind
            Of wack
         ------
Sure, you can write me
           On the internet
And that is true
So, remember that
Their is just a little bit
More than just loving you
And that is this simply
This thing called {Poetry)
So, don't be a stranger
Check me out on Poetry Soup

               GF

Your friend in the pen/G.FIELDS


Details | Prose Poetry | |

LOOKING AT MY SPAM

LOOKING    AT   MY    SPAM


A guy with a busy-life like me has everything he could want, right at fingertips:
I can “stop snoring with a dentist-designed mouthpiece”
And can pay for it, after I “check  my credit rating on line”.
Everyone I know should offer me “Congratulations” [ because  I ]
“have been chosen to join the National Association of Professional Wrestlers”.
On the other hand my interests may lean towards the aesthetic:
And I could “learn at the University of Phoenix” until they award me 
“the Degree on-line of beautician and cosmetologist”.
As consolation, I "can also obtain 70% off all  [my]  Viagra needs”   - 
Never knew, but older guys tell me it’s a drug to help  ‘their health’.
Finally if the drugs and education can’t help, I can pursue
“Lawsuits for serious injury and compo” with those well-known
Ambulance chasers,  Messrs.  Ripoff,  Fleecem  &  Grabbit.

Maybe writing a poem about reading spam is itself a symptom
Of my empty life. . . . . . . . . I  really gotta get out more.


Details | Burlesque | |

The Sheakspeare Paradox

there's something wrong here,
something wrong with what we're taught
teaching us things that amount to naught
or preposterous suggestions we have "bought"

take Sheakespeare......
the guy used a feathered pen and ink
I doubt if he even had a spear!!!
such a notion, to me seems very queer...

and if, in fact, a spear he had....
why would he shake it??
was he some kind of crazy lad?

I don't understand, and never will,
the things they teach us are such swill.


Details | Free verse | |

your cyber friend

 
i promise to be there until the end
to look for me your email is where you begin
you'll always know what citi i'm in
it's the least i can do for a cyber friend

i'll always check my email
i'll always say good by
i'll never purposly  fall asleep
when there's a tear in your eye

i've never had a cyber friend
i think with you i'm finally in
the world of the internet
best friends and we've never met

no time to wonder if i'm in danger yet
but on this one thing you can surely bet
i'll try to be the best darn  cyber pet


Details | Free verse | |

Debate This {Poetry In Motion}

political debate
blah blah blah garble garble garble
I approve this message






Written by Willy Makeit
Illustrated by Betty Don't   LOL



See You At The Polls LOL


Details | Rhyme | |

I Lost the Bet : Where's my Jet ?

I Lost the Bet : Where's my Jet ?


I went to Vegas made a bet
  takin' the cab: lost my Jet!  
Went  to settle up the score
What else is new? Lost some more!  
Nor did Blackjack go my way, 
I should have left early that day! 
I went to gamble; lost my shirt 
 Life's a shamble; now eatin'dirt     
I had a pocket full of cash      
sure was gone in a flash! 
played the craps; now eatin' scraps  
thought I was lucky, but to my surprise
  wasn't 7 or 11, it was snake eyes!  
  I'm sorry to say, I took the bet
you know how it goes;it's Russian Roulette 
I rolled the dice; I didn't think twice   
 went to Vegas lost my dreams; 
didn't stay away from the slot machines 
 Now I  pray for my shattered life;  
should have played Bingo with my wife!



McCuen Copyright October 2008


Details | Rhyme | |

The Bag Lady

The clothes she wore were twenty years old
Tattered and torn not much protection from the cold
The rusty cart she pushed with wheels well worn
The hair on her head needed to be shorn

Slowly into the emergency room she did enter
Just in time for her heart was tender
As she sat down in the chair
Her lungs no longer filling with air

Passed out onto the floor
Someone coming in through the door
Yelled code blue alert
Then the staff turned with a jerk

Everyone moved in hight speed motion
Some people wondered what's the commotion
Just like lighting to the operating room
Jane Doe was whizzed which was none too soon

After days of tender loving care 
Still unidentified she slipped away from there
Meeting her husband beside the road
Speeding away in their car they drove

She was no bag lady
But America's elderly poor
Who needed heart surgery
But couldn't afford the cure

(This is copied righted on LuLu's Poetry.com as are most of my work, some of which is 
supposed to be published in their anology series. Sara)


Details | Light Poetry | |

Our Teachers

A Teacher is someone with a very kind heart
In all of our lives, they play a big part
A Teacher is someone who cares for us all
They remind us of things like, "Don't run in the hall"!
They teach us things like Math and Spelling
The best thing of all, they do it without yelling!
They offer us guidance in doing our best
It's all up to us to do the rest
Without our Teachers, where would we be?
Our Teachers are very important you see
Sometimes we forget how important Teachers are
It's time for us to give them a gold star
Our Teachers have dedicated their lives to us all
They can pick up our minds when they begin to fall
Our Teachers are wonderful in every way
We should be thankful for them every day
So, when the school year finally comes to an end,
When you say good-bye to each and every friend,
As you start your summer and fun in the sun,
Remember to thank your Teachers for all they have done


Copyright © 1998   Shari E Davis


Details | Rhyme | |

Time To Get Up

Tick tock tick tock
Out window with that clock
Each and every frigging day
Tells me to get out of hay

Brushing teeth
Breath smelling so sweet
Another dam hole in sock
Oh how I hate that clock

Blue jean entire
God I'm really tired
Clean sand bugers out of eyes
In rush to say goodbye's

Gas light engine on again
This crisis is such a sin
Scrounging pockets for a buck
Pulling out lint what such luck

Morning greetings from the boss
When all I wanted to do was stay in bed and toss
Paper work piling up
No coffee to fill my cup


Tic tock tick tock
Come on hurry up dam clock
For shopping still has to be done
And let me tell you it's no fun


Kids husband dogs and cats
Drive me nuts like a pack of rats
What can one do
But not to come unglued

So I want to give a big thanks
To my alarm clock that doesn't play pranks
And gets me up and out that door
So I can pay for those things I truely adore

















Details | Light Poetry | |

I'm So Broke I Can't Pay Attention

Good Golly
     Miss Molly
Lord's Done
        Miracle Spun
Lost Faith
     With Wait

Got Down
  Uttered Sound

Check Arrived
      Came Alive

Uncle Sam
       You  Da Man



Tribute To The
U.S. Postal Service

Also Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's 
Believe In Miracles Contest


Details | Acrostic | |

You've Been Warned

Holy Crap
Another year slips away
Put on like 30 pounds
Pertty hard to take off
You see I like sea food I see it and eat it

Now with muse in hand
Even Jenny Crank has stepped up to the plate
With how to shed 14 inches off waistline in 1 week

You first have to eat 2 bars of exlax chocolate of course
Even choke down some of grannys castrol oil
Ass will be sore for a little while
Remember though the box and bottle does say warning 




Little Pun For The New Me

Happy New Year's All

Also Entry For Carol Brown's 
Acrostic Happy New Year Contest GL ALL


Details | Rhyme | |

Summer Vacation

I've waited all year
to hear that bell ring.
When I finally hear it,
You know I will sing...
HOORAY FOR VACATION
and GET READY FOR FUN!!
I want to do nothing
(but maybe lay in the sun.)
I want to hear crickets
and bees buzzing low.
I'll weed out my garden
and watch my plants grow.
If ever I've needed a summer to rest,
this would be the summer I needed it best.


Details | Burlesque | |

Anyone See Where I Put Part of My Face?

My bedroom wall and floor I did adorn,
With part of the face I once had worn
Now a real live Phantom I be,
Masked all up, so no one can see
Part bandage, part blood
You should have seen the flood!
Redyed my carpet sparkling red,
The color courtesy of my busted head

For several days I was a recluse,
For me it seemed of little use
To rise up,once again,
From my splattered bed,
To fall again and re-bust my head!

But clever tom is hard to stop
Even when his brain's a flop
I signed up for in home nursing
From my local escort service
This did not please that girl of mine
In fact it made her nervous
So she came over to help
Me see the error of my ways,
My head gushed more blood
For three more days
She left me in a bloody haze

Now in traction,
I pose no threat
Except to my mounting
Medical debt.



Details | Free verse | |

Poetry Soup Group

Poetry Soup Group

This is quite a group, 
the people at Poetry Soup.

They make me feel 
like a part of their troop.

No matter how much bad 
poetry I enter in their contests 
they still encourage 
me to write until I poop!

The State of the 
group at Poetry Soup
Is that it’s a great 
place to regroup,
Eat soup and write 
poetry late at night,
When you can’t 
seem to sleep.

It’s a great group of people,
Good company to keep.
They make me want to
Leap for joy each time
I log on to Poetry Soup!


Details | Rhyme | |

First Day of School

Think back and remember
That first day of school.
You planned what to wear
To ensure you’d look cool.

You had your supplies,
Pencils sharpened and new,
And hoped you’d succeed
In your new class debut.

You’d gone to bed early,
Feared nightmares’ cruel harm,
And woke up with butterflies
As your alarm.

You had a good breakfast
And set off, in doubt
That your new surroundings
Would really work out.

Yet most of the time
That first day was all right.
You conquered your demons,
Got over your fright.

Each first day we all shared
Some nerves as a feature.
I know I sure did,
Although I was the teacher!


Details | Narrative | |

I'm Just What Your Looking For

since the year of 1952 the city of st paul Minnesota holds
their annual treasure hunt the king and queen of snows
goes out to a city park and hides a medallion worth
10,000 dollars if you are the winner and your carnaville
button is register with the st paul pioneer press
which gives out 12 cryptic clues and this little medallion
could be wrapped in just about anything from diapers to cookies 
and the frigid weather here just may make you want to just
stay by the fireplace and sip on hot coco with family and friends
even lucky finder gets to ride along with the king and queen of snow
in the closing ceremony of it's torchlight parade
also watch out for the vulcans krewe for they like to dethrone the king
and leave you with a black smudges across your sweet cheeks





Tribute To The Winter Carnaville
BURRRRRRRRRRR LOL

Carnaville runs
Jan 21-31 

Also Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Christmas In Your Town Contest


Details | Free verse | |

Bee's

{bee's}

the dancing machines
please stay away from everyone's knees
you very nasty

{bee's}

Please please please
stay away from especially
my knees you very nasty 
and honorable theives

{bee's}

so please fly off to those daisies
for these these these are the only way I want it to

{ bee's }





Little Song Jenny And I came Up When She Was 4 LOL 
Thanks All For Stopping

Also Entry For Matt Caliri's Contest
Funnest-hardest Poem Ever


Details | Free verse | |

There's No I In You And Me

Oh you do the dishes
And I'll mop the floors

Or you can do the trash
And I'll do the sewing

You can go to work
And I'll just stay home

You do the cows
And I'll do the chickens

You cook the meals
And I'll set the table

For there's no I In you and me
Can't you plainly see

So you keep the house
And I'll keep the car

You keep the kids
And I'll pay the bills

You do the shopping
And I'll  sit still

You call the cops
I'll call the lawyers

For there's no I in you and me
Can't you plainly see


You run away
I'll just Play

You made up your mind
Mine was just fine

You tossed it all away
Now I Just gotta say

For there's no I in you and me
Now don't you totaly agree





Tribute To Lasting Relationships   LOL
That Work Together To Make It Happen




Details | Light Poetry | |

Pew Wee

Best day

   I'll Say

Was When

   Seen Him

Wipe Ass

   With Mask

I laughed

  Such Craft

Gasping

  Grasping

Tearing
   Hearing


Yelling

  Telling

I'm Done

  No  Fun


Details | ABC | |

I erred my cores

When I was born
Somebody might have thought, ‘he is going to bring wealth’,
It was hard to look outside
Though some might have thought, ‘he is going to be a visionary’,
I cried, I was innocent and I was well-thought-of
Someone might have thought, ’he will be famed’.
I wondered, the world so crazy -
At first breath, why they are so dependent on me?

The poor baby in me stepped as a kid
ABCDE became easy.
One plus two equals to three
Later multiplications and divisions
Ruined my vital capacity. 
I gave up with arithmetic and outraged against history
I wondered and grew, why the people lived with such difficulty!!!
Earth core, landmasses, oceans made me clear
But altitude and latitude made it heavier.
Left with literature, I made it going
Yet, recitation and dictation made it receding.
Primary came out of struggles
And later in high school came with more hurdles.
Erstwhile subjects totted by unwanted hindrances  
Physics, Chemistry and Bio-Logy were additional weightages. 
Accompanied by curricularism 
Sports, paintings and crafts became to be favoritism. 
Someone might have thought, ‘his mind is full of asceticism’.
Cried with science 
And accountancy gave back my smile,
Calculator and company books
Were carried for rest of the time.
Someone might have thought then, ‘he will be a quaestor’.

I was wondering, ‘what will make my profile!!!’
Confusion and complexity aroused
And after my masters 
Am I heading to be Manager?
I summed up my weaknesses 
And was not left with any strengths 
I switched on my bulb without filament 
And I oohed myself
Did I end up as a writer then???


Details | Sonnet | |

Sicilian Sonnet On Reinforced Concrete

I am a piece of reinforced concrete,
I can withstand a lot of punishment.
I am frequently used to make pavement,
Since I can absorb the impact of feet.

My bones are parallel prestrained steel rods,
Placed along my body to add more strength.
Steel becomes stiffer when you stretch its length,
And my flesh mixed of ground rock and dirt clods.

In modern times I have many a niche,
Into any shape I am pourable.
I serve the needs of the poor and the rich,
Being strong, versatile, and durable.
Bridge, foundation, and irrigation ditch;
For any project I am feasible.


Details | Rhyme | |

Fruits and Veggies

Boys and girls, I want to let you know.
That fruits and veggies don’t mysteriously
Show up at the grocery store.  
They are planted by farmers,
Who sow seeds that are watered,
And maybe treated with some type of fertilizer.
The farmer gives the seeds time to sprout with leaves.
Then he or she clears the ground from harmful weeds,
That could cause them to get a disease.

Then after a few months, you will see much growth.
The fruits and veggies are picked, cleaned well,
And shipped to the grocery store.
So love the farmer,
He is not just some country guy or girl.
He is a good citizen who takes care of the world.
So, now boys and girls you know how fruits and veggies grow.


Details | I do not know? | |

Youth-anasia

rofl
did his mom find out?
i bet he felt dum lol
yeah
we're goin 2 c that new Jack Black movie 2morrow
u 2 want to go 2?
brb
the answering thingy said it sta rts at 7:15
o, well let me know if he gets off early then
me 2,
i got a mth test 2 morrow
and i havent studied none
luv u
ttyl


Details | Free verse | |

Confessions

If there comes a day
when the preacher's politicians
control the state
Phinehas will rise from his grave
round up the gays
and send them down 
to Guantanamo Bay
to entertain the Muslims.
The Kingdom's minions 
will hammer in the heads
of our tender young 
the creation in seven drub
social welfare is evil
and God's top ten rules.
Which I must say
rules are meant to be broken.
And if that day comes 
when our children must pray
and Jesus is the only way
I and my liberal 
secular humanist
co-conspirators
will be taken out back 
beaten naked and shot
for refusing to accept
that Christ died for us.
Or worse yet
sent to a re-eduction camp
to sing Cumbaya.
Unless, of course
we move to Canada.


Dean Walker


Details | Light Poetry | |

Got Turkey

Turkey
    Let's See

        Gobble
            Wobble

               Get Stuffed
                    That's Rough

                           Gizzards
                               The Squirts

                                     Wishbone
                                         Hell Zone
                                                Pure Heart
                                                      Boiled Tart

                                                          Legs   Breast
                                                                Just   Test
                                                                                                                       
                                                                    Thighs Wing
                                                                          Just Sing
                                                                                     
                                                                                   Choke Neck
                                                                                          Yes Heck
                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                 Got Tom
                                                                                                      He's Bomb





Tribute To
Thankgiving
 And To
BUTTERBALL TURKEYS LOL


Also Entry For
Donna Golden's
Turkey Tribute
GL All


Details | Crystalline | |

Zoology

Intrals lying on the table
Shark disection, parasites exposed


Details | Rhyme | |

Hey Dude

Hey dude you think your so bad
you went out and shot your dad
just cause he dressed in plaid
reminded you of that dick channey lad

Hey dude dont feel so scared
for you should of seen my standing hairs
while you were pointing that shotgun everywhere
just glad it wasn't I standing so close there


And to think dude my heart didn't jump
come a little closer for I think I just took a dump
but let me go check behind  this nice little stump
cracking a smile all the way from my rump

Hey dude your so gross
but its you who I love the most
as I raise this shotgun and toast
I see you running for the coast

So run dude as fast as you can
from any guy thinking they have a safe plan
let them go and join another rock band
for you can still think your life is so grand


Hey dude you think your so bad
now your the one dressed in all plaid
thirthy years for shooting that dad
now dick chaney's singing sorry and it's so sad

La La La La 
La La La La

Hey dude



Footnote  I Chose Hey Jude



Tribute To Gun Safty

Also Entry For John Heck's
Beatlemania Sing-Along
GL All


Details | Bio | |

My Bio

My name is Mr. Moore,
And I’m 5’2”.
If you’re a young a black male,
I care about you.
I am the father of two daughters,
And the husband of one.
I believe in running,
Until the race is done.
I appreciate music,
I appreciate it much.
I am a drummer,
With a distinct touch.
I enjoy the sound of a saxophone,
And if you mention Jesus Christ,
IT’S ON.
I play both drums,
And sax by ear.
I can play the rhythmic notes,
If they are near.
I like counting money,
Because I’m crazy about math.
I have a little "hooping" skills,
So don’t get in my path.
I had coached for five years,
Being champs of the final three.
Was put out at the buzzer,
The first two were defeats.
I had been with “The Academy”,
For eight years now.
“Tricks of the Trade”,
Was about showing young men how.
I am unique,
And like a little rhythm.
That is why I wrote,
“My Bio” to be a poem.


Details | Free verse | |

Last Monday

The Catholics came to Junior school last Monday
And took my sister out of Maths
The rules had changed
They'd read The Book
Averages could no longer be taught in class

"One, plus one, plus one, the teacher said, equals three
And divided by three is one.
But Jesus, plus God, plus the Holy Ghost equals,
One
And divided by three is

Infinite Power!"

My hamster passed away last Monday
His soul left to be judged
I hope that when the good are numbered
That God knows how to count.


Details | Lyric | |

As Our Lifes' Changes

We all search for happiness 
We enjoy even the thought
We hope for all things of brightness
To join us as along life's road we trod.

Just trying to reach the top
Unknowing exactly what the top is
We work hard as young adults
Just like little honey bees
We gather our goods
Putting them all into our nest.

We journey on along
Hoping we are with our final mate
Even tho somedays are diamonds
And some are stones
Just like Neil Diamond said in his song.

So what is the meaning of it all
As age creeps into our bodies
You get older and yes you become wiser
But you are also much trier now
As age has a way of doing that to you
For it is all a part of the aging picture.

When your mind as well as your body
Finally realizes 
That these things you thought were so important
Can't go with you as your final journey you do make
They are left here for someone else to look through
And to complain about what a mess you have made!


Details | Free verse | |

Adults Only

Little Miss Muffett
Sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffett away.

Now for the adult part.
My dad's favorite 

Little Miss Muffett
Sat on her tuffett
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
And said........
"MOVE OVER BABE!"


Details | Light Poetry | |

Poetic Assassination

I want to create something brilliant,
make my mark,
produce something so spectacular:
It’s in a different ball-park.
But I have no inclination
how to achieve my masterpiece,
so the spawn of my mind
is already deceased.
My words don’t function,
when I have urges to right.
Serious messages to convey,
but my metaphors aren’t write.
I can’t keep to a rhyme scheme,
cos I’m off on a day-dream
and when it comes to structure -
puncture!
‘Ability’ deserts me, strands me with the dull.
I’m just another number to add to poetry’s cull.


Details | Verse | |

Cornfields Have Ears

Mother warned 
Never make love in a cornfield
For the corn-- has ears 
And they just may tell...

Upon hearing this 
I laughed and replied mom
They might have ears 
But they do not have lips 
With which to speak...

Not so fast, Careful daughter said she with a smile
They have husks that are tough 
And when shucked the silk and shucks will make you tell

Yeah, I've ran through the fields 
Playing hide and seek
The itch form those husks --
Sure did make me shriek...

Ahh… Shucks... I guess you're right Mama
You don't have to worry about me
With great bliss--I promise you this... 
I'll never make love in a cornfield.




Comments:  The lesson was corny but true to form as I will never make love nor hide in a 
field of corn -- ears and all 0;-)


Details | Rhyme | |

LIP PRINTS

It doesn’t matter who you are, or what kind of job you do,
If there are bloody kids about, they’ll teach you a thing or two,
And I don’t mean helpful teaching; I mean antagonizing you,
With stupid little pranks that leaves a bloke like me to rue.

I never had this sort of problem when I managed in a bank,
If one of the tellers took this stand I’d call them more a crank,
They’d be pushed outside the door with a more than gentle spank,
And they’d join the unemployment lines with only me to thank.

But I got sick of handling money that would never end up mine,
So I took a handsome package that I thought would do me fine,
But I got bored in my retirement and then one day I seen a sign,
A high school needed a caretaker and this job could be divine.

I applied and I got lucky, therefore my working life expands,
Mopping floors and weeding gardens, is work the school demands,
There’s the spouting full of leaves, clearing drains and dirty hands,
And of course, there is cleaning toilet’s that no user understands.

Like I said there are some kids, who want to always, try you out,
This time it was the older girls, with an issue they would flout,
These girls would don their lipstick and each day without a doubt,
Would press their mouths against the mirror leaving lip prints all about.

That bloody lipstick can be greasy and a mongrel thing to clean,
I didn’t let them get to me by making quite a livid scene,
But it gave me time to think about some angles on hygiene,
So I called a meeting with the headmaster, who’d be my in between.

Every girl adorned with lipstick was summoned to the dunny,
I heard giggling from the few, who thought this, would be funny,
And I knew they knew what’s going on, and that I was their bunny,
But the looks upon their faces soon…you couldn’t buy with money.

The principle indulged the guilty girls, by saying “Every night,
Those leaving lipstick marks upon the mirror has given some delight,
To our caretaker in his job, who must put up with this plight,
And to prove it to you guilty girls, he’ll clean your mirror so it’s right”.

I could see the girls had lost their smile, and frowns were on their face,
When I lifted up the brush I held and without no airs or grace,
I dipped the brush into the toilet bowl, and now I rest my case,
For there’s no lip prints on a mirror, within a bull’s roar of the place.


Details | I do not know? | |

Disentranced

Sitting in class I seem to find
That Math is farthest from my mind
A straight A student i have been
My own tradition, from Kindergarten
But today Math class seems to be
Of ill-importance not only to me
For, as I look around the room
At the once happy faces now filled with gloom
I laugh and realize one day I'll reminisce
And think of Math class and how I miss
All the memories of my youth
But as for now, here's the truth
My focus is on more important stuff
Graduation Day can't come soon enough


Details | Prose Poetry | |

American Scream - The Bill Hicks Story

Bill beat them to death. Verbose and belligerent, banal and brilliant, Hicks would beat
you with a joke until you weren’t sure it was funny any more. But you’d still laugh.
Advertising advocates he indicated, would be best dealt with through suicide. Like
lemmings, but really jumping.

Clearly he can’t have so concisely come down on those poor cretins alone. Blasting and
berating the bourgeoisie, leaving no stone unturned. Advocating erogenous interaction and
nature’s narcotics never felt so fresh.

He cut a legendary figure, shining in mono on the stage, an anti-hero in the spotlight,
questioning the questionable and querying great quandaries for our bite-sized attention
spans. All joking asides and jeering anecdotes. The great, the goat, Gods and grass
gripped us throughout. 

In his own immortal words, life is just a ride. Rails and loops, dips and troughs. Thrills
and chills. 

Bill’s the ticket inspector. Taking names and kicking ass. 


Details | Free verse | |

THE LINE

THE LINE

The Line 
There is something to be said for hunger 
A man gets stuck in line 
Becoming number 
Just living for the blessed TRAY of food 
Oh wonderfull food the institution gives to me 
But this is murder of the mind of a creator 
A poet and even a murder yes oh yes a murder 
Notice that eye said so very carefully not a MURDERER 
But eye said a murder 
A murder can be a flock of crows on a tall phone line 
Or a poet left behind 
Eye bet that not even one of the readers of this rhyme 
Even expected me to say that 
Oh ewe where was eye at? 
THE line oh yes the line 
 A man doing a little dance 
A tattoo of the prance 
Waiting just to eat 
He was giving it a beat 
A little rhythum with his legs bent 
Just bending at the knee 
And then a little up and down 
What’s up with that 
It made me wonder what was wrong with him 
The confederate in charge told me 
“That’s slim” 
He does that when he’s waiting in the line 
Just waiting in the line for food again 
He LIKES to eat 
HE likes THE LINE. 


Details | I do not know? | |

if heaven only knew?

how i norma jay felt about you;thered be no earthly struggles or wars on higher 
plains;theyd be nothing but angels galloping in and out of the rain of a cloudy 
dispelled sky;if heaven only knew my international poetry ladys name;but they 
sang it out loudly and broadcastingly,then they came to shout it out on our 
land;just the same was it you! they stated in a live reframe;who is the one norma 
jays loves so truley,she has wrote it in her own blood,sweat and her rendered 
weeping tear stains;if heaven only knew!how i felt about you;life would'nt be so 
tough at writersblock.com now would of it,they the members there should of 
rearange her brokened harp toward a different view;mr delrick;hum!


Details | Free verse | |

Halloween Scrounge(r)

There is a carmel apple laying near the bustop of the bus sun tran. The carmel 
apple has not even been bitten yet, bye the mouse or bye the man. The carmel 
apple is perched upon the gravel waiting to bee discovered bye the finder. The 
thing has NOT been found by the flys or ants how do eye knoe i just can tell. Eye 
am just the carmel apple finder , yes, the Holloween scrounger. I bye knoe candy 
at the grocery, eye do not even steal any. Eye find enough choclate to keep mye 
healthy attitude. I dont need to go from door to door or scare the children with my 
lone stranger mask. I got a choclate chip cookie for breakfast. I got a cookie 
without even asking ewe. 
And eye dew tell ewe on tomorrow mourning it will go where no cookie has ever 
gone before. I hope the carmel apple does not get runned over, before the 
holloween scrounger can find her.

PunKin seeds aer best with salt on.





Details | I do not know? | |

Ugly Betty Just Isn't Me

I’m sick of being an Ugly Betty wanna be.
I have better inside of me.
To hell with all that being pretty inside.
I think the outside should matter.

All these magazines tell me who to be.
They tell me how act and who to like.
Always talkin’ about the newest thing.
To hell with them and what they think. 

I am me and they can’t change that.
They want my body, 
And they want my soul.
All they’ll ever get is my dough,

The plus size is the new in,
It seems a sin to be thin.
One thing these models don’t know,
It’s not worth the dough.

All these shows tell me what to do.
They tell me how to act and what to like.
Always talkin’ about the newest thing.
To hell with them and what they think.

I am me and they can’t change that.
They want my body,
And they want my soul.
All they’ll ever get is my dough.

No need to be a Barbie doll,
Or anybody else.
Be your own true self
Don’t sit on anybody’s shelf.


Details | Elegy | |

She loved one

She could feel it in her bones.

Chills promising her she would

would never be alone.

I cried the night he left, he

just went away leaving me with

a scar of sweet memories. I held

him dear to me he was the only one

who I had led to my heart and opened

the door. 

He didn't deserve it, oh no he didn't

But he was the one she loved and as the

tears dropped she turned to stone.


Details | Free verse | |

Potty Training and Capitalism

Potty Training and Capitalism

“My Bobbie was potty trained by 13 months”
The wicked lady drawled

As she cast a sideways glance
My direction

The glance
~was noted!

My 2 year old daughter toddled around
The palpable silence
Conspicuously diapered

My wounded motherhood
Bled silently
As I vowed to the sky,
“…as God is my witness
My daughter will be trained!!!”

I worked
Begged
Bribed
Spanked
Threatened
But,

Potty Training is a Myth!!!

And…
when she finally
decided
magically
the diapers disappeared
only because she wanted the cool pull-ups
on TV

Two points for capitalism
And motherhood loses in overtime…

As I smiled slyly
When my second daughter was born

And waited patiently
For the TV to work its magic…
I’m not a bad mother,
I’m just a devoted capitalist!


Details | Burlesque | |

Idiot Lights

The trouble with idiot lights,
You see, it’s a problem
That goes, perhaps,
Farther than me.

There's abundant ignorance
That floats in the bog
In a kingdom where machines
Can measure breath’s grog.

More than vast numbers
Aggregating in crime,
There's a feeling that
What is happening.
Somehow, isn't mine.

Big obvious red light, birthed
a message, idiot message on the dash.
Just the observation
Almost made me crash.

The warning, foreboding,
Read simply "check gauges.”
So sitting at the light,
I scanned all the stages
With the sets of information
A car shares on its pages.
I sit, quietly confused,
But the intersection’s raging. 

The gas tank wasn't empty,
The oil read fine,
The engine not hot,
Battery volts seemed in line.

Responding to the honks,
I mosey down the road.
The engine’s working fine,
But my head held quite a load,
Of all the problems awaiting
For the idiot who couldn't interpret
The idiot light code.

. . . No problems yet,
A small sigh escapes
But I am mentally set,
Will I fall for the bait?
I would make a sizable bet
That I am sitting
On some universal debt.

Then as I was using
My copier that night,
Beeping techno-barking message,
Really set me to a fright.
A word chain shackled,
Scrolling a last request
"Printer ink low."
Sounds like an open book test.

Try as I might
Following precious words in sight,
Then a new unique message:
"Insert cartridge right."
Just follow instructions?
I’m ready for a fight.

I opened HP's lid
To see what was the matter,
Then came a horrible clacking,
Tic-tic-tic-clicking,
Hardware techno choir prater.

I shut the lid, and said a quick prayer,
Hoping God could save me from taking a dare,
And shooting the damn contraption
Right then and there.

With a web site visit, and many more clicks,
I found a FAQ answer.
My problem would be fixed.
There within the info sheet
Set my big break:
“Think about it, Dummy,
Did you remove the pink tape?”

So now, I sit here, contemplating,
Perhaps, I should consider
Getting out more, and dating.

The odds are better
. . . with two idiots instead of one.


Details | Haiku | |

Your Going To Get A Good Whooping

amidst raised marsh land
whooping cranes forges ahead
probing with their bills


Details | Haiku | |

You Looking At Me

                                                       visitors flood park
                                            capture giraffe in marshland
                                                      looking down at them


Details | I do not know? | |

Anticipated Anguish

Once every nine weeks, I dread going there.
I know it's expected.  I'm very well aware.

The children will act as nice as can be.
But all eyes will be directed and pointed at me.

The room will be small, with nowhere to hide.
The parking lot full, with no one outside.

The halls will seem longer than ever before.
As I slowly approach and knock on the door.

The chairs will be empty, except for one.
And she'll say that she's glad we could come.

Now I have to sit down, and listen intently.
In a chair that's too small for this mother o'plenty.

I will hear all the things that my sweet children do.
It's parent/teacher night at my childrens school!


Details | Rhyme | |

Best Friends Forever

You are my best friend,
Until the very end.
We acted liked cake and ice cream,
So thick and so thin.
In Autumn, we played together,
Until the leaves off the tree began to decay.
We also keep in touch. And our houses weren't far away.
We both went to same school and classes,
But our love for our classmates never lasted.
No one can come between you and me. 
Because we are friends until infinity.
Nothing can separate me from your love you showed.
Now, that you aren't here,
There are debts that I must owe. 
Just wish that the good times were still here,
And we can still laugh and spread some cheer


Details | List | |

More tom's TidBits (TB'sTbs)

I'm still trying to figure this one out.  I noticed that Dunkin' Donuts had a dot.com 
site-  I tried it, but they refused to delived me a cup of coffee.
The TV show-"Everyone Loves Raymond"- does his wife know?
Ever buy the canned beef stew?  On inspection, it should rightfully be 
labeled "Potato Stew"
If PoetrySoup gets too intense, will they change the name to "PoetryStew"?
You might be too young to know this, but not so long ago, in a men's room, the 
urinal was one long trough on the floor, with ice in it.  Ice in it?  Don't order beer in 
such a place!

coming soon...tom's very very strange doctor....


Details | Couplet | |

Teacher Beware

With a lover’s look, she gave a smile
No innocence upon this child
She knew for sure of her effect
As the teacher then had become…nervous

No need to be alone within the class
For rumors then would spread so fast
The teacher then would be out of luck
Because the pupil wanted to…cause trouble

Inspired by The Police song, Don’t Stand.


Details | Bio | |

Mini-Bar

Another true tom tale:

It was 1984,
Long ago I know,
That I had the urge to travel
And to San Francisco
I did go

With wife and two sons
We had reservations
At a classy hotel indeed,
And at $279. a night,
You'd think you they'd feed

The room was nice,
though small,
The price did shock me so,
Because until we got there
The price I did not know

Long flight, long day,
We were tired, 
and settled for the night,
Turned on the TV
And then did notice I,
A small refrigerator...
I wondered the reason why

A key that we had gotten
Opened up real quick
And what I found inside
Made me realize I was a "hick"

Inside beer, soda, scotch
Candy, treats of every kind
Well, at $279. a night,
I figured this was just fine

We had a feast, 
I had several drinks
I thought how thoughtful
But somewhere in the back
of my mind
I hoped it was no jinx

Next morning at 
the included breakfast buffet,
Somehow I mentioned
to another guest,
How nice the in-room
refrigerator provisions
seemed, 
he looked at me
like some crawling pest

"Those are not free!"
He informed me
"You pay for every bit,
And at the prices of
this hotel,
You might be in deep sh_t"

Well we checked out
right after breakfast,
Had to wait as
They took a mini-bar
inventory
Seems we had consumed
$86.00 worth
Of what we thought was totally free!


Details | Free verse | |

writing offence

WHERE IS IT WRITTEN

POETRY HAD TO RHYME

WRITE WHAT YOU MIGHT

EVEN IF , IT'S A RHETORIC CRIME.......


Details | Bio | |

How To Pay Your Bills (Part One)

This was a method employed,
By my last ex-wife,
Who enjoyed 16 years of 
torturing me,
The bane of my life...

See she sat and slept in
her recliner,
The power seat of the house,
And treated me,
Like an annoying mouse...
I was too dumd to take,
Care of a bill,
My mental capacity,
Seemingly nil...
Each day I'd hand her majesty
That days' mail,
Nothing but bills,
For the coffin a nail....
As I worked 6 days a week,
Most 11 hours long,
I grew quite meek...
Her system consisted,
Of tossing the bills in a pile,
Next to her chair,
Let them sit for awhile...
Till afer 'bout six weeks,
The pile reached her armchair height,
Annoyed her TV vision,
Obscuring her sight..
Now I knew, 
when she started to pay...
That legion of bills...
On that fateful day....
I'd better be,
At least a hundred miles away...
She would grow ever more disturbed,
And violent at me,
I didn't make enough,
For her tennis lessons,
You see.....
New car, clothes by the score,
She wanted no pressure,
And she wanted more...
I'd go to work,
With 30 cents,
No coffee could buy...
I was just too dense...
Worthless and shifty,
Each 60 hour week,
And pitiful, and weak,
And far too disdainful,
The mouse was too meek...

For three days I'd suffer the storm....
Wishing I was elsewhere,
Especially in a coed dorm....
'Cause I'd have non of "that",
If you know what I mean...
Sometimes lasted for months,
Despite pleading tears...

Now-adays, I live up "On Cripple Creek"
No longer matters if 
I'm feeling strong or quite weak,
Cause as the song says;
"Up on Cripple Creek,
If I spring a leak,
She mends me...
I don't have to speak,
She defends me...
A drunkard's dream...
If I ever did see one!"
 
This would be my friend Rosie,
Who pays all my bills,
Takes care of stuff,
Cures all of my ills...
And, should someone,
Be so damn foolish,
As to antagonize me,
I merely tell her,
And soon enough they would wish,
Someone else's hot anger,
Had they sampled in their dish,
Wishing to dear God,
They'd never heard of my name...
And suddenly they'd have realized,
They ought not have tried to play that game...
My biggest nightmare,
In the whole world, I do think,
Would be to piss her off,
That really would stink...
(cont.)


Details | Light Poetry | |

Tom's TV Guise (TB's TBs)

TV Guise entries from tom.
"Who's the Horse?"- Tony Danza is reincarnated as a mare with an identity crisis.

"Who Wants to be in the Air?"- Regis Dirtbin puts mentally challenged 
contestants in unteethered hot air balloons, with no hope of ever returning-much 
to his glee.

"The Soup-Ran-O's"- Tony, behind a Campbell's Soup truck, can not avoid the 
several cases of soup that fell off the back.

"E.R."-George Clooney suffers from an "extended-rise" erection.

"The Wonder Gears"-An incompetent auto mechanic can't figure out what parts to 
use on a transmission.

"Law and Order"-The precinct cops order sandwiches from the deli.

"MASH"- Tale of two ill-fated potatoes.

"Stainfelled"-Jerry drops his jacket in and oil puddle.

"Miami Sink"- A Cuban plummer in Florida cleans drains.

"Oh, Really? Factor"- No one believes Biil O'Reilly's bull.

"48 Hour Mystery"- It's a mystery why anyone would watch this, especially for 2 
days straight!

"Hill Street Jews"-A group of Hasidic Jews on Hillside Ave. beat up a Puerto 
Rican.

5 A.M.-"Sunrise Sumester"-Education (Geology)- Professor Harry Crud drinks 
coffee, complains of his hang-over and declares; "I don't give a d_mn what they 
are- as long as I can walk on them!"

"Family Ties"- The Mason family displays their neckwear.

"Bunsmoke"- James Art-less witnesses his bakery burn down.

"Puked"- Anson vomits on a friend for fun.

Ya' didn't think ya'd get away from me that easy,did you?


Details | Free verse | |

OUR LIBRARIAN

OUR LIBRARIAN

I once remember the
Librarian in my college  
Meticulous ,and savvy
His love for knowledge 
Knows no bound.  

I once remember the 
Librarian in my University
A man with a large heart for others 
His glasses perking on his nose
His Professorial “penkelemesi” like
Grey hair connotes love for research.

                But

I cannot but ask which librarian is this?
I cannot but query the insidious sudden
Love of this Huckster for knowledge
I cannot but be surprised at his hubbub
Declaration for his Library launch.

Oh ye people of our land!
Lets all give ovation du applaud to
Our land’s new Librarian.

The very one who rakes in seven
Of a billion cowries in a hurry
In the all looters Library launch.

The very one whose hatred for education
Towers so high and hit all towers of ivory.

The very atrocious leader of the ruling bandit
Whose avidity for money stares us in the face.

The very leading African Chimera whose
Chicanery  we cannot measure
Has now suddenly fall in love with knowledge.

The very blood brother of “Haruna”on our campus
 Who votes irritating meager resources for education
He is now our  own celebrated Librarian.


The very illiterate Mechanic whose
Baleful gaze alone destroys our land’s Library
He is now our dreadful Librarian.

Sorry ,we know our Librarians
Our Libraries , we are acquainted with    
Our Libraries are of obsolete materials
Ours is of more archaic facilities 
With books and non books available 
Two moons ago still branded new editions 
This is our own Libraries.

Let the new Librarian disburse the seven
Of a billion cowries to our Libraries
Let him pump cowries into our education
Let their be more modern Libraries in our land 
For is it of a nation that values knowledge
That gets the best of knowledge today and morrow .



Alayande Stephen .T
16th April, 2006
05.25pm


For Mr President 's special Library launch.


Details | I do not know? | |

"Porkpie Jones."

Porkpie Jones has brittle bones, and crusted corn-filled toes,

And sleety eyes and bulgy thighs, and brillo pad elbows,

His underarms are typical farms, and reek a barnyard smell,

Its quite the place for creepy, crawly, parasites  to dwell,

The ample dirt in his ears and on his head has just began to harden,

There's so much dirt on him everywhere, he could grow a flower garden,

The birds fall quickly from the sky, whenever he starts to speak,

His teeth and gums are as black as coal, and all his bone joints squeak,

He trips when he walks, spits when he talks, and spills everywhere when he drinks,

Three triple Dagwood sandwiches to him are a light snack, his decorum and etiquette 
stinks...

The ground shakes when he takes a step, and cars fly when he sneezes,

And he feels free to dine and snack on anything he pleases!

The sight of water gives him chills, and soap will make him screech,

He can't fit in his bathtub, so he bathes at the beach,

Porkpie dives into his drinks, and scorns the use of cups,

And when he falls, some will laugh, but the ground starts cracking up...

He's never been able to touch his toes, he can't reach any farther than his hips,

When he bends over, its always a treat to experience a total eclipse,

His home is in disarray, it needs improvement,

Porkie Orlivander Jones scorns unnecessary movement,

He's absolutely clueless, on how to close the gate,

Or feed his starving fish, or wash his every dish,

Or vacuum his entire floor, where dust mites romp and roam,

Or change his heaping can of trash thats nearly large as Nome,

Loads of bills that he won't pay, coat his table tops,

He puts his Suitcase in his closet, right next to the lamb chops,

Porkpie never was that bright, in school he was a tease,

In fact I think his grades were so low, that he would get straight Z's!

Well we all can learn a lesson here, I'm sure that all is known,

That we must keep our appearances neat, and always brush and scrub our feet,

And be respectful when we eat, or we could all end up like Mr. 

Porkpie Orlivander Alowicious  Alexander GianCarlo Markowitcz Jones!!!!!


Details | Light Poetry | |

......EAGLES.............

HOW CAN YOU SOAR HIGH
LIKE THE EAGLES. WHEN
YOU ARE PLAYING AROUND
WITH THE BEETLES.. THEY
CAN'T FLY AT ALL. YOU
ALLOWED ONE TO TAKE YOU
OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT.
CONTINUE TO SOAR LIKE 
THE EAGLES. EAGLES DON'T
HAVE TIME TO PLAY WITH
SMALL MINDED BEETLES....

EAGLES....SOAR.....


Details | List | |

Words I'd Rather Not Hear Anymore!!

I guess Im an old geezer, to me amazed by the first pocket calculator, but there 
are a few words or phrases that I cannot stomach.  They make me crazy (Like I 
ain't crazy enough already)  Anyway here they are;

Hi! I'm Billy Mays!!  (blood pressure surges, fists are clenched, and words I'd 
never say pour out of me)
Quality Time (get real!)
Bonding (you got the glue?)
Dot com (dot com this.....)
Blog...(is that english or a plumbing term?)
Politically incorrect (that's what God put politicians on earth to be; thieves......
Sensitivity(lost your sense of touch?)
Credit worthy (or, how much can we rip you off for?)
Soulmate (is that for blacks only?)
Liberators (invaders)
Military Intelligence (what an oxymoron)
New Jersey (don't seem so new to me- ever smell Elizabeth N.J.?)
Preemptive strike (invasion)
Male enhancer (what slimy level have we reached?)
Martial arts (paintings from Mars?)
Virgin Mother (no comment!)
Disfunctional ( what function are they 'dis'en?)
Moral standards (a bunch of bull shooters)
Erectial misfunctions (proves the law of gravity, anyway!)
Out of the Loop (where? In Chicago?- did I miss a stitch?)
Salt of the earth (so where's the pepper?)

I'll probably come up with more, and miss another night's sleep; but, oh, what the 
heck!   Chow


Details | Burlesque | |

Tom's Tid Bits (Yet Again!)

How come they call it Labor Day when nobody works?
And why Pool-Table?  Where's the diving board?  the water?
How can you play "Draw-Poker" without paper and pencil?
Do Negroes really have bigger knees?
And Flashlight: A bright stage-light to highlight naked joggers?
I went to IHOP; I was so disappointed, the bunny was not in.
Is Racquet-Ball really that noisy?
Were Sanitarium Napkins designed for a psych ward??
And Condominiums: good Lord, they advertise prophylactics?
And Near-Beer; how close do you have to be?
And Poetic Terminology- methods to end a poem?
And Medicine Ball; how do you know what it's dispensing?
Bi-Polar? I got mine free.
Feedback?  Is it true some people have their mouths behind them?
Dry-Runs?  Diarrhea without the usual Sh_t??
Penn & Teller?  A bank teller's sordid affair with a chained down bank pen. 
(Caution, Sadism and Explicit Ink scenes)
Burn a CD?  What kind of moron is gona burn his Certificates Of Deposits?
Satellite?   To help one mount a horse in the dark?
Athlete's Foot?  Those who say they have Athelete's Foot should be prosecuted 
for maiming ball players.
Milk Of Magnesia?  Who is she?
Country Fair?  I'll wait for the Country Good!
How come it's a plus if a vacuum cleaner sucks?
Sometimes I feel left in the dust; I mean, even spiders have web-sites!!
Sasquatch?  A hairy ape-like creature who sat on, and crushed, his Timex watch.
Lunatics?  I hope Nasa provides our next moon explorers with insect repellant.
Politically Correct?  An oxymoron for sure!
Botswana?  A neighbor wiyh yacht-envy.
Coconut?  An insane piece of chocolate.
Congolese?  A structured rental agreement for certain Africans.
Decuple?  Releasing railroad cars.
Desultory?  Removing snide remarks.
Devote?  Removing one's ballot.
Dormouse?  A rodent tending the door at a rat nightclub.
Drag Queens?  What a horney King does with his reluctant wife.
Episode?  When a farmer named Epi plants his crops.
Fiddlesticks?  Frozen fish product with musical abilities.
Gnomish?  A knish for Jewish gnomes.
Mothball?  A part of a moth's reproductive organs.
I saw a commercial recently for "Extenze", to make "a certain part of a man larger"
However, I misread the dosage, and took far too many.  Now I have to drag "that 
certain part of a man's body" along the floor behind me.
I had a friend who tried it too....but it seems to have had a misdirected effect; now 
he has a 6 inch long big toe.  


more tomorrow

 
  


Details | I do not know? | |

Nothing

Can a person write a poem,
About nothing,like this?

But it does provide a question,
And a point you cannot miss.

Can a poem be of something,
Saying nothing at all?

Or is it like a message,
Like writings on the wall?

Will it guide you through the day,
Or release your darkest fear?

Is this poem all for nothing,
Or is there something here?


Details | I do not know? | |

Paddling bully

(This is a fictional poem)

In the seventh grade I had a bully for a teacher.
He was ugly and he was indeed a horrible creature.
He gave paddlings and that really got us kids annoyed.
He smiled when he paddled because it was something he enjoyed.

He gave over twenty paddlings a day.
Even if we did no wrong, he'd paddle us anyway.
One afternoon all I did was speak to a friend.
My teacher hit me seven times on the rearend.

It really hurt when he hit me with his paddle.
A lot of kids don't squeal but I decided to tattle.
I told my uncle who stands 7'3" and weighs 250 pounds.
He said he was going to visit my school and that my teacher was going down.

My uncle told my teacher that he had no right to paddle me just because I talked.
Then he broke all of my teacher's limbs and he couldn't even walk.
I got a new teacher and I said Hooray!
My former teacher decided to stop teaching on that very day.


Details | Name | |

A Life Tray

A day is coming and passes away.
Memories are adding in a Life tray.
Few good or wrong and bad occasions,
Cycling in a cycle but all in seasons.

Fate is treating in a same defeating,
Unfortunate person is always waiting.
Working hard but admitting a mistake,
Wasting his time and fishing on a Lake.

One day will come I’ll be a fortunate,
I will tease my mate to reach at late.
Money will play a game to roll overcome,
When she‘ll love me I‘ll open a bear drum.

We’ll dance together to sing a song,
A day‘ll come brighter after a dark long.
Money has a life but life is nothing,
Opportunity is risk, achieving something.


Details | Burlesque | |

Tom's Satirical Forms of Poetry

all you serious, and formally  trained poets, please excuse my satire, but a guy 
born in Brooklyn NY, (me)- really gets a kick out of this somewhat pretentious 
classification system for something, to me, is as simple as merely conveying a 
thought, emotion, idea, image, etc.  If it ain't natural, it ain"t real.  Don't get mad at 
me, I'm obviously "mad" already!!
ABC Verse-(poems written or performed on Sesame Street?)
Carpe  Diem-(an ex-Vietnamese leader who happed to be a fish?)
Chastushka-(an old, heavy Russian woman yenta?) (or the headscarf she 
wears?) (or another Russian forrest comet strike?)
Cinquain- (a man made and manufactured maleria med, given in 5 parts?)
Classicism- (an exorcism for a classy person?)
Cherihew- (a French axe for lovers?)
Concrete- (a Mafia burial material?)
Couplet- (2 lovers allowed to "do their thing"?)
Cowboy- (a hybrid mix of a young male human and a domestic female cattleof 
genus Bos?)
Crystalline- (stalagnites, or expensive young female stemware?)
Diamantie- (a new Honda auto?)
Didactic- (a guy who finally cleans his attic?)
Diminished Hexaverse- (a witch's evil spell spoken in a poetic manner in a very 
soft voice?)
Dizain- (either a hair restoration product prone to make the user dizzy, a 
deceased Jazz musician, or a new cleaning product introduced by, yes, you got it -
Billy Mays!!!!)
Dodoitsu- (a new form of Japanese martial art created specifically for the near-
extinct Do-Do bird?)

More to come.............


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Just Jousting Around With You

                                                          mounted warrior
                                                             lance ahead
                                                                Charge  !     {LOL}








Entry for  
Deborah Simpson's
 Medieval's Contest
                                       


Just Gotta Love 
A Guy On Horseback                         


Details | I do not know? | |

Voices in the wind

    A tear drop falling into space I hear you voice and I go crazy. It's something I 
can't explain. Maybe it's someone that sounds like you, But I can hear it and I know that 
it's you. At least that's what my mind tells me. I get all nervous and look your way, 
maybe this is a mistake because I could deal with that. I want you so much and then I 
don't want to see you again because I don't want to deal with it. Isn't that smart? I 
want you with my body and soul but then my soul plays tricks and I just want to let you 
go. I can't feel like this, this isn't natural. I wanted all of you and now i'm afraid. 
What if you did suddenly appear out of thin air and walk right over to me. I wouldn't 
know what to say I would be completely star struck, your now a star but in my heart you 
make me weak to my knees and I can't stop. Shivering, stuttering being around you can get 
me that way. Maybe it's not meant to be. Honestly please, I don't want to be that nervous 
wreck girl see what you do to me. I can't hold on and I can let go but then again this is 
me and as I hear you voice in the wind I faint.


Details | Free verse | |

English Class

I'm in the back of the room
She's teaching in the front
Not paying attention to me
And definitely doesn't notice...

That I wear my hair down
Only to hide my ipod earphone
With the chord threaded up through my shirt
And the ipod in my pocket

That I have my phone 
Slipped just inside my desk
While my friends reply to 
My text about the movies

That the hot guy 
Sitting next to me
Has his hand slipped into mine
Totally against the PDA rules...



I'm sitting at home
Texting my friends
Listening to my ipod
IMing my boyfriend

Oh crap! What was the homework??


Details | Free verse | |

Foot-In-Mouth Disease

My lips were chapped.
My tongue became dry,
And the corners of my mouth cracked.
My foot was still in my shoe.


Details | Burlesque | |

Build a Better Mousetrap

I'm not all that handy,
nor so very bright too
I sometimes ask dumb questions
that's one thing I'm apt to do

One day I asked my father;
"Say, Dad, what's a ratchet?"
he fixed me with a wise look,
and said, "Son, it's just a
bit bigger than a mouse sh_t!


Details | Free verse | |

Eiger counter

Eiger counter


"Don't throw the baby out with the bath water," please the water was clean after 
father and mother and the water was better than ever even after the brother but 
when eye took my bath the poor baby was lost they looked in the drain but poor 
baby was gone there forever. The moral is kept as a memorial there does not 
toss out the clean water.
A coward dies a thousand times but a hero dies but once and a man who lives 
much like a DOG is always spit upon but to be a dog still tied to the living is more 
to be desired than heroing  because the bible says a man who lives is better 
than the dead. 
We will get married in JUNE no we will marry in JULY or even MAY is better 
because the ewe is born the first time in the month of May showers and what’s in 
JULY well the CHARLAX was born and bred.
Bread was given out according to status. Workers were given the burnt bottom of 
the loaf, the family got the middle and guests got the top or the "upper crust."
The loaf of bread is still the status but now the homeless man gets his loaf 
without the burnt part on. Eye am now the uppermost crust.
Making the batter up planting the leaven worth leaving the center for mye family 
clan. 
Pease and thankzx ewe one and all for peas given do not thaw until the fall from 
vine refine the peas and make a handful last for days.
This is why the nursery rhymers’ fortold:
Peas porridge hot, peas’ porridge cold, pea’s porridge in the pot nine days old." 
Enter laughing.
It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would sit 
around with guests, cut off a bit of pork and "chew the fat."  Then they would toss 
the ole pigskin.
Play leap pig again. Slop the children. Smoke the hambone and root in the cellar.
What a feller this poet seems at work. He has a eiger counter at his home.


Details | Burlesque | |

You Say You're Gay

So you declare you're gay,
At first I knew not what to say...
Than I saw it clearly,
The wisdom that you had,
Far better to be gay,
Than so God darn awful sad.


Details | I do not know? | |

Men

I am a man
I have three speeds
Fast, medium, and slow
Fast is great
Medium is fine
Slow is undesirable
and broken


Details | Rhyme | |

ABC to XYZ

ABC: 
 Come with me 

DEF: 
 No you are rough

GHI: 
Don’t tell lie    

JKL: 
Always speak well 

MNO:
 Ok let me go 

PQR: 
Don’t go far

STU:
 I’m with you

VWXYZ:
 Yes you are my buddy


Details | Free verse | |

why pretzels do not eat us

why pretzels do not eat us 
why pretzels do not eat us 
eye opened up the pretzel bag and much to my surprise 
they grabbed me and began to pull me deep inside 
eye lurched and jumped to  no avail as munching then begun 
the pretzels in my bag was eating me the fun had just began 
they laughed and giggled and had so much fun 
eye am not an ogre by any means 
eye let the pretzels have their way 
for they were just eating me 
so when eye come up missing just find an old worn out pretzel bag 
and then look deep inside 


Details | Rhyme | |

Under The Bed

Strawberries, Blueberries, Cherries

   all sorts of  berries under my bed

                  why?     why?

                  to make a pie

                  why?      why?

             'cause mommy forgot

             that I haven't been fed

        before she tucked me into bed.


Details | Personification | |

What!!!!

Who are we to say that “when a tree falls in the forest some day does it make a 
sound especially if no one is around?”

Only one thing is for certain that is to be as long as no one got hurt, or it did not 
cause damage to any property “who cares”

These things and sayings are what it is to be, and only the lessons learned are 
what they are to me

And for One final not any tree that falls in a forest with no one around makes one 
simple sound “ THUD “ You learnt that one from me 

LDN


Details | Rhyme | |

The 100th Monkey

Philosopher Carl Yung
had a theory...

Every hundredth monkey
would come up with a 
new idea which all the
other monkeys adapted
for the development of

the group's collective...
productivity.


Details | Free verse | |

Commodes Delight

                                                    All dressed in white 
                                  In hopes someone might be out of sight;
                                              I will fight, for what is right;
                                   As long as others wont miss their sight. 
                                       For one will feel so much delight 
                                  When they are relieved of this painfull fight 
                                    Ending up closing the commodes lid tight
                                     And washing their hands, with such delight 
                                                   Before clearly leaving 
                                                   the commode's sight. 



Details | Burlesque | |

Is That Your Foot?

Is that your foot
stuck up my butt?
Your shoetips
Tickling my throat?
Or am I just another
insane nut,
And somehow I got 
your goat....??

You decided to teach
This fool a thing...
And, trust me,
That you did!!!

Now I know your 
shoesize is 6
And I will not kid,

It hurts, it hurts,
It truly hurts,
My butt is sore as hell,
I guess it is
the price I must pay,
For being dumb tom bell.





Details | Rhyme | |

A Body's Wish

Oh how I wish he would take care of me,
we’re not getting any younger he must see.

Ever since the day he learned to walk and run,
we’ve gone to great lengths to have fun.

Early on at the young age of three,
he was climbing and fell out of a tree.

Rushed to the hospital to access the harm,
luckily it was only a broken arm.

Then at the age of only six,
yet another broken bone to fix.

While playing on the roof so high,
he slid off to meet the ground hard and dry.

The result was not one but two broken feet,
so having to use crutches was quite a treat.

Because getting around was no longer something of ease,
he couldn’t go as he would please.

Then while playing ball at the age of eight,
received a broken nose while at the plate.

Several broken bones and many bruises later,
he has become a sports spectator.

The safety of the sideline is where he needs to be,
so that he can take care of me.







Details | Free verse | |

Little Black Sambo

Little Black Sambo 
Dance Sambo Dance! 
You knoe you are a pancake! 
The little black sambo ran around the tigers, 
until they blended into batter. 
Ewe see it does it matters. 
Dance Sambo Dance! 
You knoe you are a pancake! 
If you even make just one mistake, 
the tigers they will eat you. 
Dance Sambo Dance! 
You knoe you are a pancake! 
Unless you can out race them, 
the tigers are so fast. 
We would rather that you eat them. 
Dance Sambo Dance! 
Prance and add the butter to the better batter there. 
What could also be much better so much neater. 
Dance Sambo Dance! 
The tigers are just pancakes.Sambo is the eater. 
Sambo Danced.


Details | Free verse | |

ED NOTE: TO ED

 ED NOTE: TO ED     
 
 
Author Message 
Admin
Admin



Age : 53
Joined : 13 Jun 2007
Posts : 651

 Subject: ED NOTE: TO ED   Today at 11:43      

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
ED NOTE: TO ED 

ED NOTE: TO ED 

TO ED NOTE: please forgive me ED for not writing you before eye have seen your 
name on every textbook in the store just now eye got some time to answer you 
some more eye hope that you are well and feeling better in the fall your 
correspondence is so varied the things you write to me are different every thought 
is written out line by line as if something is concerning all the words already 
written down ED, please write to me another note. This poem is some fun a poet 
has a chance to even out the bad grades given him in education land a prisoner 
of the yellow van that takes us backward forth a slave to the milk money the 
luncheon tickets given him by program funding taken then by force away with 
rules and harbored grudge. A note to ED. 
 
           
 
 
 ED NOTE: TO ED     
 
Page 1 of 1 


Details | I do not know? | |

Lunesta

Puts to sleep
Deep deep deep
So they say
Therefore may stray

Driving while asleep
Down the center of th street
Oncoming traffic
What could happen

Nothing but a good night's sleep
Refreshed at the alarms beep
Lunesta lunesta 
How you refresh her

(Lunesta a new sleep aide by prescription only can cause to seem awake but are actually 
asleep people drive and do all kinds of activities but are actually asleep.  My daughter's 
father-in-law had six wrecks in six months no one was hurt or killed but could have been
and he also would have amnesia type behavior where he would keep taking pills where he 
was only to take one per night.) 



Details | Burlesque | |

Roller Skating On The Freeway

It can be a little bit tough,
While skating in the buff,
In the fast lane of the freeway,
You know I need not say,

Especially to me,
When you need your skate key,
So I'd suggest you try first,
To use the service road,
or call a hearse,

A helmet may be wise,
Unless they hit you in your eyes

And please note the word freeways,
Is for the benefit of our left-coasters
Cause that word in N.Y. would daze

There ain't nothin' free in N.Y.,
Just ask any right coast dork.


Details | Rhyme | |

Child's Lesson

He ran from the room holding his crotch,
A trail of urine was behind his hopscotch,
His embarrassment was there for us all to see,
But he taught me lesson; don’t hold in your wee!


Details | Free verse | |

Writing

          Talk to me, Don't you know your my everything. 
 
          I spend every waking moment with 
          you next to me. 

          I feel you and I heal with you, your what I do when I can't sleep at night.

          If there weren't room for you then I wouldn't know what to do your just apart   
          of me and sometimes when I feel weak I call on you. 

          I remember your words of wisdom and use them on paper to express how I
          feel. 

          It's real, it's right the way that it flows I need that feeling every night.

          Hold on tight for another wild crazy ride. 

          I'm good at doing you, your good at not controlling me. 

          Helping me to flow free in an unexpected way.

          You know all of my secrets before  I even know them.
 
          Sometimes you say dumb things and force me to erase you but when I really need
          you your always there for me.

          That's why when I finish a sentence it's perfect because you listen
          without judging me.
 
          All and all I want to be with you forever... your my passion and my love and if 
          I fell I know you would rescue me.


Details | Rhyme | |

Art Can Hurt

A wise-cracking tourist in a Greek art gallery
keeps heckling the cute curator with an inquiry;

      why, he asks her, the muscularly athletic gods
      and demigods, supposed to be sturdy like steel rods,

      often appear softy, un-masculine and are shown
      wearing skimpy, see-through clothing they've outgrown,

      as they stand, run or fight in poses effeminate:
      Zeus whimsically choosing thunderbolts from a plate,

      and god of war, Ares, striking a lethal sword blow
      with graceful arms, dainty fingers and a ballet toe;

      Apollo standing like he has just smoothly curtsied,
      as Achilles waltzes through a combat he fancied.

The irked curator says it's not her obligation
to fill the gaps in the tourist's art education !


Details | Free verse | |

Free

   Nothing is ever free.
   My body deserves your energy
   but I won't give it up without
   payment says the corner prostitute.
   She's locked up in her deceit, no one
   trusts her and leaves her alone to 
   sulk in the shadows of a ugly home.
   She knows it's wrong, she knows it's
   bad but she won't stop. She can't. 
   Moving faster, not remembering any face
   that left the twenty after the act.
   confused little girl, nothing to live for.
   Searching for the one thing that will
   make her whole again and that's love.
   she would conquer the world, but she
   would never be free until love touched
   her at least once. Tears fell down her 
   eyes as she lied in the dirty gutter. 
   Awaiting the calls that never came.
   None from her family, they didn't 
   care. None from a secret admirer the
   only ones who touched her only did it
   to help themselves. She held the envelope
   in her hands touching the green money.
   Love for the paper now became her new
   high and she worked hard to get hers
   because no one cared so why should she?  
   


Details | Free verse | |

ABC

ABC 

A---aaa---Aia is for amaryllis 
B---bee---Bee cause my ewe friend 
C---cee---Cee me not 
D---dee---Dee fray the cost 
E---eee---Eee feminineness 
F---eff---Eff is for fun 
G---gee---Gee eye still want ewe 
H---hhh---Aitch is for hell0 
J---jae---Jae is still for Jesus 
K---kae---Kae is for M.I.T 
L---ell---Ell is just for Love 
M---emm---Mmm is the sound my babay makes 
>.<  :D   <3  and the first letter of Mary 
N---enn---Enn is for Enjoy 
O---ooo---Ooo is the sound that I make 
P---pea---Pea is what we both dew. 
Q---quu---Quu is for my Querry 
R---are---Are ewe my patticake? 
S---ess---Ess is just for something 
T---tea---Tea is for The Test 
U---ewe---Ewe are what i want 
V---vee---Vee is still for ^V^iolet 
W---double u---Double u is for we win 
X---exx---Exx is for Exxmas soon to be ICI 
Y---why---Why is for the young ^W^hiteflower 
Z---zee---Zee is for ZLast Poem from CharlaX 


Details | I do not know? | |

Me myself and I

   I've got me myself and I and there ain't no denying that when it comes to me I will 
never lie to myself. I will never make fun of my flaws and I will never spread rumors on 
myself because I know that I would never disappoint myself all I have is me myself and I. 
When I close my eyes at night I can hug myself because I don't need anyone else but me 
and family to make myself happy. I will never deceive myself, I will never flat leave 
myself. I would never deliberately hurt myself or pretend that I was being real to myself 
when I wasn't. I can always know that when I criticize myself that I am being true to my 
soul, body and mind. In the end all I have is me to strive for my goals and not let 
anyone get in the way of it. All I need is me myself and I, I don't need anyone else's 
harsh words to make me cry. I will have my own inside jokes that only I know. As I turned 
around and saw a girl staring back at me, She was everything I was looking for in a best 
friend. She had all the same interests and all the same styles, she understood me and 
never made fun of me and when I realized that it was me looking in the mirror a tear 
swept down my eye.


Details | Ballad | |

Pop! Goes The Weasel

Pop!  Goes the weasel...
When he shot...
The guy behind the easel...
And stole his silly paintings...
All about there were faintings...
He ran from the chasing cops,
And made but few stops...
One for a beer...
One for some schnapps...
Guess he got a little wasted...
As he dropped the art
He had hardly tasted...
Now one wine,
and he was wasted...
Grabbed by the cops...
He was soon pasted...
With crime charges 
He soon embrace'd
Cause he was tired of art theft,
And he was color blind, and with no sense of depth...


Details | Free verse | |

Competitive Advantage

I find nothing wrong with being educated--
As long as one's education doesn't exceed one's intelligence.
Ya  know what I mean Vern?
It's like putting two friendly cats in a sack,
shaking it up and dumping them out.
Each will claw and scratch to get ahead,
as they hit the ground running.
Kind of puts me in mind of life.
Everyone strives for some competitive advantage.
For some, It's formal education,
It's one thing to have it--still another to use it.
But never consider yourself the better person simply because of it.
When you make this mistake,
you have surrendered your competitive advantage
to the person who's diploma reads
School Of Hard Knocks.

























Details | Rhyme | |

Mother Goose

Mother Goose, at the bar,
Downing pints and feeling the juice...
Had an urge, and cut one loose...
The fellow next to her fell off his stool
and looked the fool..
Everyone looked at him...
Thinking the misdeed,
Was made by this "dandy Jim"
Got back on his seat,
With a very sore caboose..
Got a whim,
And "goosed" Mother Goose..
Only a fool would antagonize her,
Mother Goose was a woman loose,
For a fool such as he,
she had no use...
And hauled off and decked this clown...
Making him the second man in Twinkle's Bar down...


Details | Free verse | |

in between meals

In between meals
Eye am a writer and eye have discovered my mind is to busy on things that may 
not matter much to ewe or the endless pursuit of my happiness.
The people eye have in my meetings do not always do what eye want them to 
this is especially time consuming and very much a melody to add to all m y 
memory of the day and the poetry and the fun.
We aer all in between the meals and so busy with our own stuffins eye have 
decided to make this wonderful thing to sing of all our souls and the reason that 
you are smiling now is because of they way this old man writes in syllables and 
dandylions added. eye write the things that moves me to add words upon the 
paper and it may soon seem silly but this gets better and so much better the 
flowing pen of jargon and the added appendages and the endless rhyme and 
schemeing thing. A busy mind is a happy thing and nothing wrong with that all of 
the ewe stay busy doing that.


Details | Name | |

Clouds

When Sun delivers shine skin starts to burn,
Body is seeking protection from sharp rays.
Water vaporises and converts as clouds,
Rain comes and air delivers weather cold.

My son came to me and asks about natural system,
Why does rain come down, why don’t clouds go up?
If water evaporates with the heat waves,
And how clouds stay in the sky to cover rays?


Details | I do not know? | |

Back to School

Back to School, on the first day
there will be no going out to play
pen and paper is all you need
no books or backpacks or lockers, you see
just crowded hallways for you and me
fighting the crowd to get to your next class
meeting new teachers,
wow what a blast!
Some you like and some you don’t
especially that weird old bloke
who tries to say everything in one stroke
and turns so red he make YOU choke
with worry of course because what it happening is SO NOT funny . . .
WHATEVER! You just can’t stop laughing
uh-oh so now he’s mad
you’ve set yourself, for the year
now to face you worst fear
a teacher who will pick on you for the rest of the year


Details | Light Poetry | |

Why'd You Oogle My Google?

Don't'chea all be lookin'
Over my shoulder,
At what's cookin'
I dunz get mad,
And reely sad,
Dat you'z be spi-en
at myze wourds


Details | Burlesque | |

Mind Games

Recently I had to go
to see a state appointed shrink
to see if I was defective
that I really could not think

he asked me silly questions
with intelligence of cognitive skills
his aim to measure
I felt somewhat looked down upon
but this one thing I treasure

you want to play head games?
I adore when the gauntlet's thrown down,
wanna see who's quicker?
I'll never lose my crown!

I rattled off the answers
far faster than he' thought
a dull witted mental defective
by all means what he sought
this challenge merely awoke my mind
now I'll teach him what I ought
I guess I'm just that kind...

I don't know for sure, but I surely think, 
when I was done with him
it was he who needed a shrink.


Details | Free verse | |

Willy-Fred, Willy-Fred

Willy, don't be silly...
As for Fred, check your head,
Once again, you got things
all wrong,
I wasn't writting poetry,
nor out to steal a song...
I do get the feeling,
Your disdain for me is strong,

That's okay,
I gotta say,
No loss in disbelief,
But don't question me,
Cause you don't know
If I were a lyrical thief,
What if I did write those
songs,
And held the copyright too,
And let others record them,
You think other, I might do?

So check out the copyright credits,
And wake me when you're through,
Cause as for your snide comments,
I've heard enough from you.


Details | Free verse | |

Victory

No big $10 dollar words
No attempt to parade my mind
I came, I saw, I conquered
I'm the easy kind

I'd like to think
the world is round
but surely it is not
Or I'd be sliding all around
and I see no curved ground

So button up your pompous mouth
It's time for you to be real
The simple truth is easy to read
It's what you really feel. 


Details | Free verse | |

Gryposaurus monumentensis

 Gryposaurus monumentensis 
Gryposaurus monumentensis 
 
 
The herd came to the edge of the new forest the leader turned and almost 
humishly smiled at his flock like a deacon on a SUNDAY picnic day in June. 
The forest is very inviting he seemed to say we lost very few monumentensis 
today along the way it seemed as iff the largest predator alive was stalking us but 
the open spaces kept him away they thrive in hidden jungle spaces and eat as 
many as they can in any one given day and the Gryposaurus 
began to sway from side to side and to eat there way inside the forest line by line 
by line and at least there must have been almost close to four hundred of them. 
And that is how the Arizona Desert was born. 
By the thundering chomps of the Gryposaurus monumentensis 


Details | Rhyme | |

Closer to a Grillionaire


There is a man who made a cool  Mill'..          

    all because of a Foreman Grill.     

Now, I hear through the grape-vine air      

this man is closer to a Grillionaire !


Details | Rhyme | |

Peach Fuzz

Tons of peaches
Growing on every tree
You'd think I'd wash off the fuzz
Nope, not me

One after the other
Juice dripping down my chin
I feel my lips beginning to burn
The swelling begins

Who needs lips stick
When you have lips this luscious and red
Their bigger than Julia Roberts
I'll need a tractor to lift them into bed.







Details | Lyric | |

I Don't Need It!

I’m at my wit’s end
The molecular formulas
the electron configurations
are killing all sensations of living that I ever had
A seemingly unbeatable force
backed by that foe from the East
as he manipulates and propagates this vicious cycle of ill-instruction
in which he tests the knowledge of that which is never taught
I find myself caught in this trap
I’m wrestling with pages of notes
all while in desperate need of a nap
Why do I need to know how oxygen bonds to carbon
in order to diagnose an illness?
Or in order to tell if a bone is broken or not?
I don’t!
That’s just it!
All of this mindless, structural knowledge, I don’t need it!
Once I’m in the true school of higher-learning,
where I’ll get the real tools to future success
I’ll forget it all
in order to learn what I really need to know
so that I may help my fellow man


Details | ABC | |

My Cerification

I've worked hard to have my franchise 
I am surrounded by bleach blondes with green eyes 
I was no homecoming king, I received no coronation 
Please take a stab at my certification 
I don't study the existence of life 
I am a working man, no time for a wife 
My certification is not a Biologist 
No study of the mind, I am not a Psychologist 
I've gone to the school of hard knocks 
My business covers many city blocks 
Every night is a celebration 
I have yet to tell you my certification 
I don't like Dinosaurs, I am not a Paeleontologist 
I can't put anyone in a trance, I am no Hypnotist 
My education is from up and down the streets 
I am not on doughnut patrol, I don't walk a beat 
I am definitely not into Claymation 
Are you still in suspense about my certification? 
I am no womanizer looking for a tryst 
You can scratch an actor off your list 
I am no Polar Bear coming out of hibernation 
Soon I will reveal my certification 
I am not into sports, I am no Analyst 
My work is tax free, I don't have to deal with the I.R.S 
I have no fruit baskets on a sofa, I am not a Psychiatrist 
I will now tell you, I am a Pimpologist 
Now that you know, keep in mind how much dough I make 
No cheap wine, no pot pies, just champagne, shrimp and steak 
Constant growth, all women are welcome to become part of an industry leader 
Most of my women come from men who are wife beaters 
I hook my women up with my patented 201k plan 
I am the CEO, I am the man 
5-2-9 can give you my specifications 
5-2-9 helped me achieve my certification


Details | Free verse | |

I Am Not Somebody

I Am Not Somebody 
Holding up they head they drift write bye. 
No water droplets from the rain 
could evere slide in there. 
They look at everyone else to be nobody there. 
Have they ever registered they fellow man. 
If it is The Lone Ranger they would quickly look away. 
And decide it was noone But Claymore Mine was there. 
Why do they decide, 
that no one can compare to them. 
They are the cats meow, 
They do not ever plow or work for scratch. 
They carry worth upon they back. 
They are somebody. 



Details | I do not know? | |

Friendship will it last?

When I was falling you never let me hit the ground, I felt like I was on rock bottom and 
you helped me back up. All this time i've been searching for friends who like me for me. 
It's right in front of my eyes and I can almost reach I hope we don't fall apart summers 
looming just around corner. I know what can happen when you have nothing to do, Numbers 
get lost and no one calls. But I wanted this to last why does it always end like this? I 
wanted my happy ending. I hope everything turns out ok in the end, next year is coming 
soon and when I walk through the doors I hope we hug. I don't want this one to be like 
all the past friendships that i've had because it only leads to destruction and leaves me 
weak and I hardly talk to them anymore. I wipe my tears and leave and move on to another 
team and now here I am again hopeing that this one is final. This one is real enough to 
survive the currents that life throws. One time, one wish and here we are it's the end of 
the summmer and I have my pink ring on will you when I reach out to hug you?


Details | Free verse | |

Gal Friday

Some quizative soul,
Wanted to know about that phrase...
Simple enough...
Nothing to leave you a'daze...

See, Friday in the office...
Is the end of the week...
So you gotta make sure...
That your secret don't leak...
Like her calling you at home...
Creating quite a stir...
Your wife now demanding...
If there's something going on,
with her...
So on Friday you tend...
To treat your girl Friday
extra good....
Say the right words...
Doing all that you could....
To keep her sated all
weekend...
You don't want her to become...
Another Mother Hen...
So if you're a wife,
And Hubby dresses
His best each Friday...
Just take the big hint...
And here's what to say....

"You dirty @^^q$$+(!g&...
That seems quite succinct,
And let him know for sure...
You're in power,,
The pens inked...
He'd better show up
on Monday...
With candy, flowers,
and a big raise...
Or you'll bop him one good,
And leave him adaze!!


Details | Free verse | |

OBVIOUSLY

OBVIOUSLY 
Obviously, the people who lived contemporary with dinosaurs were intelligent, 
and the footprints indicate that they were quite human as the large toe on 
primates is located closer to the heel to facilitate clinging to branches. 
    Doctor Hilton Hinderliter of Apollo Campus, Pennsylvania State University, 
studied the evidence presented at the Glen Rose, Texas, excavations and 
stated: "I would have to say that the belief in evolution is in a state of terminal 
illness but its death will only be admitted by a new generation of scientists 
whose minds have not been prejudiced by the type of education now prevalent in 
the nation's public schools, an education which starts with the belief that 
evolution has happened, which interprets all evidence according to that faith and 
which simply discards any evidence which cannot be fitted into the evolutionary 
framework' (Quoted with permission from Dinosaurs by Dr. Carl E. Baugh, 1987. 
Promise Publishing Co., Orange, CA92667). 
CHARLAX version 
Obviously these primates 
Are alcoholics because of the curvature of the toes the toes of a winoe curl up in 
his cowboy boots until his leather boots won't walk him anywhere this 
phenomenon is noted in the OVID manual as the winoe toe a rare medical 
condition known as poor old man syndrome. Some rare versions have been 
reported on the reservation as the Listerine syndrome this is because the 
Indians cannot use real alcohol as it costs real money so they shoplift large 
bottles of Listerine to get the WAMPUM going the winoes however have a 
problem getting money for more wine and so they panhandle it this is called 
panhandling. 
IN Better neighborhoods there is theft this is called stealing and it's done by 
everyone that drinks this is called alcoholism it is a very bad and strang disease. 
Thank you     Doctor Hilton Hinderliter for all your obverse reactionary 
observations. 
This is a recorded message recorded by the CharlaX one. This has been a 
recording. 
ARCHIVE  777. 
The_Poet_Republic 


Details | I do not know? | |

University Days (2005)


Lonely days at first
And then I burst
An emergence of a leader
A people picker and a brain feeder
Days when troubles were low
We just went with the flow
A big stretch to your mind and heart
A new life a new start
Great days every single one
Now those days have gone
I look back and think 
Those days just go in a blink


poemsbyrb@hotmail.com


Details | Free verse | |

Love Bug

Dipsy Doodle was a bug,
That fell in love 
With a flea, lying on a rug

Dipsy said hug me flea
If you'd please...
Careful now bug, said the rug 

Or you'll find yourself
Laying just like me 
Holding more than just one flea

Well that bug kissed the flea
and exclaimed that's alright with me
The rug shook stating we shall see…

Poor Dipsy Doodle Bug 
should have listened to the rug
the flea viewed Dipsy as the Love Bug

Produced more fleas 
than there were arms to hug
Hate t'say I told you so said the rug