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Child Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Child

These Child Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Child. These are the best examples of Child Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

Details | Rhyme | |

THE TARANTULA BUILT A WEB

The tarantula built  
a web in the upper-left corner of my patio;
she weaved it perfectly as Antonio
rose on his wobbling feet to reach it.


That boy didn't know that 
spiders get vicious and suddenly bite 
when someone tries to grab them for spite,
and Antonio tried to pull it down with a tiny twig...
no, it didn't work, so he tried again with a long stick;
oh, once a garden spider got stuck into his mom's wig! 


" Antonio, put it down,
before it crawls onto your skin! "
The spider will bite you on the cheek
and you'll be doing the Tarantula Dance! "
I yelled by taking the stick away from him with extreme force.
" No, I like that spider...that's the one I want to keep! "
He rebelled with a grin, transforming himself into a beast.
" OK, you can keep it, but remember spiders creep! "
I warned him and told him to wear a mask and just peak.  


The tarantula built a web where rain or storms
never soaked it, and scorching sun rays
never melted it...how laborious she was in summer's long days!
We watched it going to and fro searching for food for her little one
as we took daily videos and had fun watching them!
After all, I realized that a spider is not dangerous...if left alone;
and Antonio kept his distance by warning other boys
that trying to catch a tarantula is a very dangerous game!


Details | Rhyme | |

Silly Billy Goes To The Zoo -



Silly Billy went along to the zoo Right after he had the flu That day the whole sky was blue And he carried along his teddy Pooh Silly Billy love walking to the park every day He love watching the clouds in the sky, Silly Billy was just a regular kid too And he had a lot of friends at school like you. Silly Billy best friends were Sue and his Pooh, So when his parents took him to the zoo, He was so happy to bring along his Pooh, And show him all the places to see. Silly Billy wanted to see everything in the zoo, Starting with: the bears, the tigers, and all the monkeys too. Silly Billy asked his dad to let him feed all the animals you see, But his dad told him, he couldn't do that, 'cause that was a wrong thing to do. Silly Billy loved all the animals in the zoo He was so happy to have spent there the day He had so much fun enjoying all the view His father promised him to bring back another day. Silly Billy went back home content with his Pooh, He gave a big hug to his mom and his dad that day; The day was still beautiful but was almost through Silly Billy smiled and looked up at the sky still blue. Silly Billy went along to the zoo Right after he had the flu Silly Billy went along to the zoo With his family and his teddy Pooh. Dorian Petersen Potter aka ladydp2000 copyright@2007 October, 5, 2014


Details | Free verse | |

Portmanteaus Scroup

Greu has turned the color of my plarn
So I’ll just knit a legock for my child.
While getting up I trip upon my hornicorn
It makes me ridast through my small famoom.
My son comes in and loosh at my folly,
He’s sure his mom has gone a bit crazoo.
Then glares at me delivering his snark,
By asking which of us is the matune.

Greu, plarn and snark from list

My words:
Scroup: scrambled-soup
Legock:  legging-sock
Ridast:   ride-fast
Famoom:  family-room
Loosh:  looked-shocked
Crazoo:  crazy- cuckoo
Matune:  mature-one

Other:  Hornicorn:  horse-unicorn

Brenda Meier-Hans
27.08.2014
HM


Details | Quatrain | |

The Child in Me

Soda pop and gum drops
A river full, so sweet
To be that child I once was
All that candy, I would eat

Not worry about a cavity,
the dentist or my skin
Just concerned with getting more
And filling it within

A jawbreaker, some nonpareils
Bazookas and candy dots
Sour apples and baby ruths
Oh I love it all a lot


Details | Limerick | |

Pancakes

The Pancakes are ready to eat
My Granddaughter's help was so neat
The eggs she did crack 
The smiles did not lack
As eggshells were part of the treat

© 2013 Rick Zablocki 

My 4 year old granddaughter helped me make breakfast this am, pancakes from scratch.  Lots of fun.


Details | Free verse | |

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!


Details | Ballad | |

Rubber Duckie

Rubber duckie you're the one
You're the reason I'm the one
Rubber duckie
You're the one for me


Details | Footle | |

Winter

Snow falls
Fun calls

Old folks 
Wear cloaks 

Snow slide
Sleighs ride

Cold day
Kids play

Snow fight
Cool sight 

Round balls
Crash walls

Good hit
Kid’s split

Cold nose
Froze toes

Ó February 5, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen


Details | I do not know? | |

The toy factory

My child has no toys
They were all made in China
And broke in one day
My child is in therapy
All his life
And has been divorced twice


Details | Haiku | |

Aliens at Your Bedroom Window

Don’t worry now child
There's no god, so worship space
You are not alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Animal

My mom calls me Lion
Because I’m the king of my domain.
She also calls me Tiger
Cause I’m horrible to tame!
My father calls me Monkey
When I jump up on the bed.
He thinks I’ll trip and fall,
And then I’ll bump my head.
My sister calls me Fruit Fly,
Cause I like to steal her food.
I also like to buzz by
And annoy her like one too!
My brother calls me Cheetah
Cause I always beat him when we race.
He also says it’s cause I have freckles on my face.
I even think my dog thinks I’m something too
Because he always barks at me when I come into the room.


Details | Verse | |

When Grandma takes me to the park

When Grandma takes me to the park!
By Kim Mosteiro
I love when my grandma comes and picks me up to go to the park. We ride in
grandmas car to the park; and grandma sometimes stops on the way and we get ice
cream.......
I like sliding down the slide; grandma waits at the bottom and catches me, or
sometimes she will slide down with me. One day I was swinging, and grandma
pushed me way high, I flew as high as the birds do, it was so much fun!
Grandma taught me how to climb a tree, just like she did when she was little, and
climbed her grandma's tree, to pick apricots for her Grandma's pies! Grandma
pushes me real fast on the merry-go-round; I go round and round and round and it
makes my head dizzy, and then I spin around just like the merry-go-round.
One day we saw a butterfly, it was blue and brown; I chased it and tried to catch
it but it got away. Grandma told me that every time I saw a butterfly, it would
mean that she was thinking about me; and she gave me a kiss and said that's what
it would feel like if a butterfly landed on my nose and kissed me!
But there was one day when Grandma took me to the park and I saw a snake, it
was scary when he shook his tail and it rattled. Grandma said I am to never go
near one and try to pick it up because it can hurt me, it's not like a butterfly. A
snake will bite you and make you sick Grandma says, so I will only chase butterfly's
not snakes.
I can't wait to go to the park again and see what new adventure Grandma and I
will go on.
“Dedicated to my Grandchildren: ADAM, ROSIE, SERENA


Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | ABC | |

Why does it have to be , ABCD and not WXYZ

Zooming at the very end
Yelling around I find my way
Xtremely touchy and tearful
Why does it always have to be
                      ABCD and not WXYZ!


Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever Read

Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!


~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby

They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" -  how mean!!~~~

Piggy asks him if
There are other people on 
The island with 'em

He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear - 
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??

You'll see...

Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!



Details | Light Poetry | |

The First Christmas Present

A spider spun a silver web in a mound of golden straw, Then he hid himself inside the stack, away from the wind so raw. He yelled down to the sheep below Who were trying to huddle close, “It’s times like this that I wish there was a fire for a mutton roast. For winter had come upon the land and his barn was deathly cold, He wasn’t sure if he’d survive the night if the truth of it were told. He tried to dream a dream of hope to get him through the night, But he couldn’t bring himself to sleep because of a blinding light. A star was shinning down on them as if the sun in mid-day glory, The little spider had yet to learn of the coming Christmas story. Below was a ewe with her lamb both snuggled up together, Trying their best to keep warm in the cold of the winter weather. “I’d never trade places with you anyway,” the mother sheep bleated out, “Why are you so happy in your hate to lend voice to pain and doubt?” The light from heaven kept them awake and staring in wide wonder, When two weary travelers entered in and the straw became their plunder. The little spider became dislodged as a nest of straw was piled, And he could see that one of the travelers was very great with child. The three companions watched it all; they’d never seen a human being born, They were all surprised when at his birth There came the peal of an angelic horn. A herald’s call went out to all the land announcing the newborn king, And the spider and the ewe shared a laugh to think of such a thing. Because this baby was so very small and his parents were so poor, Yet there was something about this newborn child that neither could ignore. The spider looked down on the ewe and said in a voice too bold, “This baby needs to be swaddled now to keep him from the cold. Good ewe I can spin for him a cover if you’ll allow me to use your fleece.” So together they worked to swaddle the child on this night of Holy peace. The mother smiled at them all as she took the blanket for her boy, Then laid him in a manger poor and they were overcome with joy. The meaning of this wondrous event was what made them all feel glad, For they had brought the first gift to the Lord by sharing what they had. And the warmth, which they had provided the child, also kept the three of them warm, May the loving joy that they discovered keep you this Christmas morn. Merry Christmas!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Granny Tipping

My son is getting older, and he just went back to College, the other day.
But he had enjoyed the summer, by adding a new game to his daily play.
He called it Troll Tipping as daily he targeted another, and wore him out.
By dinner, the Troll would fall asleep, as my son claimed his dessert, so devout.

But wearing out a Troll, is not such an easy thing, so many a night, a Troll got his.
What a shame! But as a resourceful college man, at devising plans he was a whiz.
He offered them a Fun Filled Tip, yes, a way to get others, to do their daily chores.
The cost to each individual Troll, was their sweet dessert, that night, nothing more.

He was doing great, as he ran thru many a Troll, but then our suspicions did unfold.
You see, this bred unrest, as a number of fights started, amongst our beloved Trolls.
Scheming isn’t sharing, so Grandpa Troll had a TALK, life changing, or so it’s told.
But Boys are boys, and desserts were to be had, so he made a new plan, quite bold.

You might say he invented Granny Tipping, yes, now it was MY dessert, on the line.
Now this would be quite simple, for at my age, I can easily, become tiredly inclined.
But the one thing he’d forgot: is how crafty age had made this old one, in her efforts. 
As dinner wound down, I cued Grandpa Troll, to help deliver, those delicious desserts.

I told my son, that they were made to be his favorite, simply in honor, of his behalf.
Then I pretended to fall asleep, and he quickly took my dessert, with a joyous laugh.
Then suddenly his eyes grew big! And I awoke, looking him quite clearly, in the eye.
I lied that, I added laxatives and terrible cod liver oil, to my dessert nightly, yes, so sly. 

Making them easier to swallow, but if he wanted more dessert, he only had to ASK.
He quickly sped away, to wash that terrible taste, out of his mouth, a daunting task!
And we all had our chance to laugh at him… as the joke was finally on him, at last.
I call this, Bad Behavior Tipping, and from that day to this, he asks for more, at last!

The game seemed to lose its luster that day, yes, manners did a BIG, comeback.
The moral is to politely ask… Playing clever little games… is NEVER for the best!


Details | Rhyme | |

Oodles of Joy

"Oodles of Joy"
In the morning of everyday i 
start
I make a food that's really 
smart
Crunch'em, rip'em, and pour'em out 
As saliva pools form in my 
mouth 
Put it in the mic for just about 
three
Impatiently  watching those 
beautiful noodles waiting for 
me
When the time Is up
I Pop it open and take them out 
And start shoving "Oodle's of 
Noodles" into my mouth. 
 
Khalil Wali


Details | Quatrain | |

New Handcuffs

New Handcuffs
We had taken our boys out to a theme park one day
They could run around wild and burn some energy away
On the return trip from the gift shop they did ask to buy
A plastic sword, a shied and a pair of toy handcuffs, I didn’t ask why.

Two days later they asked if their friend could come to play
“Of course not a problem” is what I did tell them that day.
Within few minute they came to find me, they were crying
Their friend was in the handcuffs, they can’t release him although trying.

Each turn of the key to unlock the offending restraints
Instead of unlocking them it tightened them, to his little complaints
I put all three boys in the car and drove to the local fire station
To find it was a part -time one, it was a deserted location.

A cleaner I spied working hard, so I did ask help from him
"Go to the police station" he said, giving me a wink and a grin.
A bit strange I thought but only for a little while
I had to free this child, so I said “goodbye” with a smile.

This young boy now with tears in his eyes 
Looking so lost and afraid, which is no surprise
Into the Police station I walked feeling really bold
"Can you please free this child? You have cutters I am told."

A big burly officer looked, and then he walked up to me
Took one look at the child and said sarcastically
“We will fetch a female officer to sit with the boys
“While you come with me, and explain a child, in sex toys…”

“What on earth are you babbling about my good man?
Just unlock and free that child as fast as you can”
“I’m sorry madam” said he “but there’s questions to ask”
“Why did you lock a child in handcuffs? What was to be your task?”

“My good man what are you suggesting, that I locked him in?”
“Don’t be absurd are you stupid?” He just gave me a grin
Another officer entered with three pairs of bolt cutters so big
The poor child nearly fainted, he had little arms like a twig.

I asked them not to scare him, he was only a boy
They told me they still needed to know about the sex toy
On freeing the child they took the three boys away 
They asked them who had locked him up, and was it in play.

My then ten year old son admitted he had done the deed
He didn’t think it was wrong, he thought he could be freed.
Finally satisfied enough, they let me leave with the boys
With a tap on the shoulder the policeman urged me to buy
                                                             ‘padded sex toys.’

© ~GG~ 5/12/2012

An oh so true story lol


Details | Couplet | |

Child once more

Wouldn't it be wonderful to wake up one morning
To find you were still a child
So much energy jumping up and down upon your bed
So many wonders and thoughts swirling through your bed
No responsibilities
Just fun and play with your dolls or swinging in the trees
Getting a dose of the measles having a poorly on your knee
looking at a catalogue at all the toys
Building a den and playing cowboys and Indians
With the other girls and boys
Dressing up in mummies clothes
catching frogs and picking your nose
Rolling down grassy hills and knowls
Going for summer walks with a bottle of lemonade
Pretending you are a solider standing on parade
Watching cartoons all day on TV
Having a pet to love and feed
Giving your teddy bear a hug
Collecting crawly things like slugs and bugs
Having a big bag of sweets giving a high five to every child that you meet
Having an imaginary friend called Fred
Bed time stories in your Jim Jams in bed
Pretending to be a pirate out at sea
Seeing strange faces in every tree
Licking the cake bowl after mummy makes a cake
Riding on your bicycle or on your roller skates
Reading books under the covers with a torch at night
Playing football flying a kite
Dreaming of becoming an astronaut a fireman and scientist too
having a great day out at the zoo
Playing children's games calling out rude names
Playing in the wood getting up to no good
Getting head Lice in your hair
Sitting in a high chair
Dancing like a loony at a party
Hating girls yuk! with their ribbons and their curls
Doctor Who Winnie the poo Sponge Bob
Larry the Lamb and Batman
and now I'm Superman!
Train set that gives your Farther who bough it  for you so much joy
Pink for a girl and blue for a boy
playing on the swings and slide
Bucket and spade making sand castles at the seaside
Everyone saying 'awe aren't you sweet'
Coco pops egg and toast soldiers to eat
Balloons floating high into the sky
your older sister hitting you and making you cry
Sitting on your potty
pacifier in your mouth
'Mummy I've done a poo'you shout
'Good boy I'll lift you out.
sitting in your pram Being pushed everywhere by your Mam
Going on a bus singing a little song
looking out the window and sticking out your tongue
Digging in the garden eating worms and soil
Having earache Pouring in olive oil
playing with your rubber duck and battleship
while your in the bath
reading your favourite comics and having a laugh
Asking lots of questions your parents find hard to answer
'Where do babies come from?' Having your leg in plaster
playing in the school yard playing hide and seek
Being poorly every week
new shoes happy feet holding mommy's hand and skipping down the street
Watching the fish swim around your fish tank
Putting pennies in your piggy bank
Ooh how my dipper must have stank
Ice cream and jelly tots uhhm I used to scoff the lot
playing a tree in a school play
Packing a suitcase and running away
throwing pebbles in a pond all day long.

Phew I'm shattered after al that. imagine doing all that now. the mere thought 
tires me out.



Peter Dome.copyright.2014.July.


Details | Limerick | |

Mahala

My granddaughter's name is Mahala
She plays with lots of great stamina
We run here and there
We play everywhere
Pretending to be a tarantula

© 2013 Rick Zablocki


Details | Verse | |

How To Slice Pie

The homemade kitchen table sat
In the center of a small
Cozy warm room, dominated
By her, and her firm all

Cooking meals and preserving food
On the wood burning stove
She could do it all so I'm told
The stove held treasure trove

When she was teen, she learned to care
For the very young child
An older sister died leaving 
In their care four compiled

She used her knowledge rearing own
A trick held up her sleeve
To prevent sibling rivilary
Her wiles did tightly weave

She would let one child cut last piece
Of pie, other first choose
Each child would equally divide
One child right did abuse

This little boy cut one piece big
Way bigger than other
He saw he made a grave mistake
Grabbed piece ran from mother

He tripped and fell flat sprawling
Dropped his big piece of pie
And his sister sat relishing
Each bite while he did sigh

The moral of this story is 
Do right my friend at soup
Don't take too big piece of pie
The results could be dupe

Just writing for fun and telling a family story


Details | Tanka | |

Play With Me Papa

Play with me Papa
Dance like a princess Papa
Time to have tea Papa
Let's go to the park Papa
Wake up it's not bedtime Papa


Details | Lyric | |

My Blue Bearry Song



                                                                I had a dolly
                                                         His name was Bearry
                                                              He was so lazy 
                                                             He ate so many
                                                        His cheek was chubby
                                                             I called him fatty
                                                        I loved my cute Bearry

                                                           Still with the Bearry
                                                              He cool already
                                                           In blue he's steady
                                                             He was so fancy
                                                            He wore on classy
                                                            He likes to boogie
                                                           He is my cool Bearry

Author's Note:
This is a song of "There Was a Pig"
Inspired by my student who always brings her blue teddy bear wherever she goes, and always tells stories as if it was alive. At that time she hummed the piggy song and I've got inspired to change the lyric become "My Blue Bearry Song" it's because the teddy bear named Bearry and its blue in colour.


Details | Verse | |

The Rise Of the ZUMBIES

~The Rise of the ZUMBIES~ The Zombies are finished we squished them away They won’t be back eating brains on any other day Sucking the life out of all that they meet The undead are dying and now admit defeat. Not rising from the ground; the undead are now gone There is though a new group that we have to take on. Just as dangerous in a new way, to suck you in they pray Insidious and strong so watch over you shoulder each day. Hips wiggling, thigh strengthening, they have burst onto the scene The child of the Zombie is here and crying out as a newborn will be seen. A wiggle of the hips, the child rises from the fate of the Zombie Be not afraid and don’t throw a thrombi. The child of the Zombie is now called Zumba The reanimated dead are with here but with new agile lumbar’s Hips that wiggle, bits that jiggle and dance their way fit Thighs so strong, legs seem long; it makes you want to go try it. From Meringue to Salsa to Mambo and Cumba This new threat is rising and it’s called the Zumba Those that could not move of lift their feet in dance They are rising from their chairs they are given a new chance Flamenco is hot, bingo wings are not, and new strength is given to the knees This new craze abounds, the Zumba is here so watch out for the new found Zumbies. They will try to entice you with their wiles, they want you to dance your way fit Be careful it’s a ploy, a new undead toy, and you may be the next they will pick.
©