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Funny Baby Poems | Funny Poems About Baby

These Funny Baby poems are examples of Funny poems about Baby. These are the best examples of Funny Baby poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Light Poetry | |

The Cuddling Cricket

It’s not enough to have a Dragon plus his penguins and pigeons, too?
Darn it! I had a limit, until a cute Cuddling Cricket found my shoe.
He was just a little baby, who saw the pigeons and decided to hide.
Now, he won’t let go of my pants leg; he’s definitely along for the ride.

The first time I saw him, I Eeekk’ed and I jumped, yep, about to pounce.
But at my response he sighed, and slumped, and he began to cry, at once!
At first I couldn’t believe it, so I pulled out my magnifying glass.
What I found were soulful eyes, and a face, so very cute, but sad.

So now when I stand, A Cuddling Cricket, comes along for the ride.
Yeah, he’s now part of the family… Well, of course! Sigh! I replied…
He sleeps in a cute little plastic bug box, with a matchbox for a bed.
But it’s hard to explain, to others found, in my life, which have fled.

I bring a magnifying glass, so they can see him bow so proper and nice.
But carrying my Cuddling Cricket around, does have a certain price!
Food stores aren’t very understanding, and restaurants, Not At All! Truly!
But the paparazzi seem to understand a Cuddling Cricket, completely!

He does have his own type of novelty as he carries around his blankie!
And he’s just a baby, who needs a Mom, and of course, his little binkie!
Honestly, I’m not kidding! There’ve been a few, strange turns, in my life.
But, if I have Trolls and Dragon, then a Cuddling Cricket seems, so right!


Details | Lyric | |

A Piece Of Lace

[Verse-1]
I watched you walk by yesterday, and yes again you turned and looked away
You never give me the time of day, and you're always looking sad and grey
A small piece of lace from your pink dress, is all that's left of you and me
Wish I could take back yesterday, when I went astray and set you free
I wish I could find the words to say, instead of making you look away
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Verse-2]
I know that I still need your love, because my heart is always feeling blue
And I guess I'll never be the same, for playing around and being untrue
You gotta know this isn't what I wanted, cause now I'm always on my knees
But I can see how you like your freedom, of being with him and not with me
But baby a twist of fate's what tore us apart, and placed this look upon my face
Oh! it's still funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Chorus]
A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Verse-3]
All those things that you used to do, is what made me fall in love with you
You gave me your all once upon a time, but like a fool I up and flew
And the things I went and said that day, made you fade and drift away
I never shoulda treated you that way, cause baby I need you here today
The sun keeps hiding behind the clouds, and all I do is sit and cry
And this piece of lace holds my heart at bay, I don't know...maybe it's a sign

[Chorus]
A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace


Details | Lyric | |

Santa Baby

Santa Baby won't you give me some candy tonight
Santa Baby won't you let sit on your lap snuggle 
Up close and kiss goodnight

Santa Baby I need some Christmas lovin' you see
Santa Baby how neat that you came in a box
Spruced up just for me..

Santa Baby won't you give me some candy tonight...
Nite Nite....

In honor of Carolyn..

You know..


Details | Rhyme | |

Seemed Like A Routine Day

Being a nurse I had a good understanding of medications for pain, Explained to my Obstetrician I wanted everything, I was not insane, This was my first baby and being in healthcare had very few perks, I’d be given an epidural when the time came, but not by any jerks. Worked full-time then started maternity leave 2 weeks before my due date, Of course I sat at home for another 5 weeks, oh my first baby was really late. I read every book in the library and cleaned my house more than one time, Everyday the neighbours would drop by, I was tired of the door bell chime. Walked into the hospital to have a non-stress test, done every other day, My doctor laid his hand on me and asked “how long have you been this way” I replied “ for about 11 months, you should know you’ve seen me every week” He firmly instructed the nurse to call my home, for my husband they must seek. My husband knowing my test was routine, had driven to town to go to the Gym, What is that you say dear doctor, “I’m fully dilated, I’m soon going to be slim” Well first I’ll I just zip home to grab my luggage and I promise I just zoooom, What’s that- “I’m bypassing the labour and going straight to the delivery room” So I hopped onto the table, took deep breaths and put my feet in the snare When finally my dear husband arrived ~ with more than five minutes to spare “It’s a beautiful girl with dark hair, 8 lbs 7 oz ” I heard the delivery room nurse say, My love has never been stronger, my greatest moment, our most memorable day. Written by Lee Ramage October 6, 2011 For Frank Herrera’s contest “One Stand Out Day” Won 4th place


Details | Free verse | |

Everybody

Love me tonight girl we won't meet again ,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby, ha ha ha ha,
Let your body decide what it does ,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
I know it's straight to the point,
But I'd rather be straight up and straight forward,
Instead of playing with your heart and your mind,
Games are waste of time, now we can do the nasty,
And do what the do and see what the does,
Either we gonna love what we do to each other,
Or just let it be what it was,
No harm, no foul, no commitment, no vows,
Maybe a contract or two,
But by that time I'm already tired of the way you like it, oh,
And let your body decide, exactly what it does,
But it's no secret baby, everybody fücks,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody fücks,
Now I can hear your body calling me,
Tell me what it is, what's gon be,
Only got one night cause I'm...,
Lil mama is a bad one, ain't she? 
Maybe she might be a little timid,
Love when I get it,
Or I might even give a text when I'm finish,
Been doing all this talking, let's get it,
And you can tell me what you wanna do,
I guarantee you can do that,
Or you can teach me like a thing or two,
But I bet you I already knew that,
So one night one time baby girl,
Let's take this chance,
We ain't trying to be love strung,
But I know that Everybody ****s,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
Let your body go, let your feeling show,
Say what's on your mind, I already know,
I can read your eyes, see your body sign,
(Every sign you give baby) with a little bump and grind,
Nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Baby there ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
There ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Baby there ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
Believe that believe that baby,
Everybody ****s…


Details | Light Poetry | |

Lilly's Teddy Bear Picnic

Lilly wanted a teddy bear, so her Mom FunkunDilly gave her one.
Lilly kept telling me how she loved it, and was having so much fun.
Though strangely, she was keeping it, at Grandpa Troll’s bridge.
I couldn’t seem to, understand this at all, not even a small smidge.

She didn’t bring it home at night; she didn’t even drag it around.
She only visited it under the bridge, when Grandpa Troll was around.
Finally I ask her why she didn’t bring it home, to tuck it in at night.
She said it was a fragile thing, that couldn’t leave it mama’s sight.

This itself, should have told me it was better, to leave well enough alone.
But I was not the brightest thing, to reason out, what was being done.
So I invited Lilly, and her teddy bear, and all the Trolls, to come on a picnic lunch.
FunkunDilly ask for honey, lots of sushi, cookies, and baby bottles by the bunch.

Grandpa Troll laughed and said he’d come along, to see how this was done.
Sure enough the teddy bear was there… and his mama had ALSO come along.
Gurgling noises came from my mouth, and my hands had a life of their own.
It wasn’t long before I found myself on the ground, as I fainted with a groan.

When I awoke Mama bear was saying  ‘how high strung these human creatures are!’
She won’t hurt my little one? Is she crazy, do you think? OH, is that a chocolate bar?
I tried to regain my composure… as I passed the honey to put on the chocolate bar…
So yes, we had a teddy bear picnic as Lilly’s Teddy and his mom became the stars.

We all discussed the weather, daytime soaps, and how honey works with crumbs, 
Plus how to stop, our precious little ones, from constantly sucking on their thumbs.
Grandpa Troll was laughing about Lilly’s Teddy Bear Picnics for years to come. 
And he thought I had handled it very well… even though at first I had succumbed.

In the end, leave it to a Baby Troll... to have a real Teddy Bear to love and hold...


Details | Light Poetry | |

The First Christmas Present

A spider spun a silver web in a mound of golden straw, Then he hid himself inside the stack, away from the wind so raw. He yelled down to the sheep below Who were trying to huddle close, “It’s times like this that I wish there was a fire for a mutton roast. For winter had come upon the land and his barn was deathly cold, He wasn’t sure if he’d survive the night if the truth of it were told. He tried to dream a dream of hope to get him through the night, But he couldn’t bring himself to sleep because of a blinding light. A star was shinning down on them as if the sun in mid-day glory, The little spider had yet to learn of the coming Christmas story. Below was a ewe with her lamb both snuggled up together, Trying their best to keep warm in the cold of the winter weather. “I’d never trade places with you anyway,” the mother sheep bleated out, “Why are you so happy in your hate to lend voice to pain and doubt?” The light from heaven kept them awake and staring in wide wonder, When two weary travelers entered in and the straw became their plunder. The little spider became dislodged as a nest of straw was piled, And he could see that one of the travelers was very great with child. The three companions watched it all; they’d never seen a human being born, They were all surprised when at his birth There came the peal of an angelic horn. A herald’s call went out to all the land announcing the newborn king, And the spider and the ewe shared a laugh to think of such a thing. Because this baby was so very small and his parents were so poor, Yet there was something about this newborn child that neither could ignore. The spider looked down on the ewe and said in a voice too bold, “This baby needs to be swaddled now to keep him from the cold. Good ewe I can spin for him a cover if you’ll allow me to use your fleece.” So together they worked to swaddle the child on this night of Holy peace. The mother smiled at them all as she took the blanket for her boy, Then laid him in a manger poor and they were overcome with joy. The meaning of this wondrous event was what made them all feel glad, For they had brought the first gift to the Lord by sharing what they had. And the warmth, which they had provided the child, also kept the three of them warm, May the loving joy that they discovered keep you this Christmas morn. Merry Christmas!


Details | Limerick | |

Mother-To-Be

Mother-To-Be
Dr. James E. Martin
©May, 2013

A mother-to-be was she.
She was happy as she could be.
A new baby boy,
Would bring her much joy,
If only she weren’t seventy three.


Details | Rhyme | |

Silly Pendulum

__uPON her shoes__

The best I could do 
Is to sit upon her shoes.
The show is still on,
So don't judge me now...move on!

She is still sleeping
And she wants no awakening.
She loves me and wants me idle
And sit upon her shoes.

One hour gone,
Two hours gone...
Now five hours are gone.
But she loves me
And wants me 
Wholeheartedly.
I mustn't stand idle
But sit upon her shoes.

Thank God she's awake.
Now to take a break.
"Can I stand up" I inquired
"Not now" she replied.
"Won't you take me for lunch" she required.
"I will... Of course let's go" I replied.
At least now I don't stand idle.
May be after lunch, I won't fuddle.

"Waiter, I’ll like you to serve me a plate of rice and chicken.
Listen waiter, serve him 'Eba'. He loves that thing."
I admitted to what I don't like
And still will pay for what she likes.

Again to sit upon her shoes.
Another round I must do.

       <<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>

*** Eba: Is one of Nigeria solid food (a product of cassava flour), usually known with the Yoruba people of Nigeria. It can be taken with local soup like "Ewedu", "Efo", "Gbegiri" and so on.
 
Note: This poem is honest lied situation put up for fun of the contest. However, I have feelings that it possesses (some) qualities that could be related to real life situation.
18/5/2013

For: "Silly (FUNNY) Poems Only old/new' Contest 
Sponsor: Poet Destroyer A


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Great Manger Heist

Two brand new manger scenes were donated to our local church, One went on the minister’s desk the other took the organ as its perch. The idea was to provide a scene that was both merciful and mild. But when the organist came to practice on Tuesday night there was no holy child. No babe was laid in the manger meek to receive the gifts from kings, No baby to offer love and light or the joy that the season brings. When a ransom note was found it was circulated through the staff, “Will return the one inch Son of God in exchange for a plastic calf.” What cad could have committed this crime and done this awful deed? Who could have cold heartedly stolen hope from this world of need? “What should we do?” asked the organist to the church’s secretary, “We need to restore the Holy family and calm the heart of Mary.” The secretary looked worried as this news caused her own heart to sink, Now for the first time in many years someone had asked for her to think. The choir director offered up, “Let’s give in, it’s only a plastic cow, I don’t see how giving one calf away could hurt anything anyhow.” “We should not negotiate with terrorist.” Said Sam the custodian, “If we give in to their petty demands our troubles would just begin.” “Then let’s organize a search party to look for the wayward child, We will thwart the plans of this prankster who will forever be reviled.” “What is all of this about?” Asked the minister as he came into the room, The organist told him about the babe and the note of impending doom. “So we’ve decided to work together as a team to bring the baby home, Every square inch of the church will be covered with a fine-toothed comb.” “As a team!” the minister exclaimed, “Well that’s a change long over due, It’s good to see the four of you working together as a single crew.” “It’s been too long since you pulled as one with the goal of finding Christ, I think you’ll find that the rewards are great while solving this baby heist. “Before I send you on your mission let us all join hands in prayer, It’s so wonderful to see you brought together it shows how much you care,” “Let us pray for guidance from the Lord before this search begins,” So they didn’t notice as they bowed that his Mary had given birth to twins. And so he sent his staff into the night to find the newborn King, Then as he returned the baby to the manger he began to sing. He was then struck with inspiration and he added to his plan, And so they found the missing baby in the arms of a fourth wise man.


Details | Narrative | |

A Sister's wish

"It has to be a girl," she had firmly announced,
My sweet little daughter, always craved for a sister!
So the news of a would-be sibling, did make her glad.
She had jumped and bounced.

"A girl would be perfect, boys are messy,
"I'd play my dolls with her and read princess stories",
Said my daughter, who was all girlie-girlie
She kept things in order, was neat and tidy, even a bit fussy!


She'd shopped for pink blankets, rompers, spoons and forks!
Smart girl that she is, she very well knew
"Babies don't come from hospitals nor gifted from temples
Neither are they dropped by visiting storks!"

She would be there for pregnant momma, a helping hand to lend.
She'd pat the sick mother and soothe her with a touch
Fetch her a glass of water
would not allow her to bend!

"My sis would look like me", so said Sara
Ecstatic she was about the brand new arrival
she promised even her stuff to share!
Found a rhyming name, "I'll call her Aura."

One fine day, mommy gave birth to a son
Hale and hearty, Sweet and chubby.
The family rejoiced but the sister said,
"Its not going to be fun."

"Give him back to the doctor, We won't keep this boy",
She said over the phone and with a frown on her face
She came visiting. Took the baby in her lap,
Saw his Angelic face and was filled with joy.

"He is cuter than any baby in the world can be", said she
Stroking her brother
"His skin is so soft and his fingers so tiny,
Well, we'll take him home, he looks just like me!"


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Son

Just a few lines I hereby write to let you know
that I, in my entirety am still alive,
care I give, when with pen perceiving you so slow
the words upon these lines, just in time will arrive.
You will not know the house, when you come on back home
twelve month ago the rent we defaulted, so we moved,
which was good for your mother, she’s too old to roam,
while it seems her affair with the rent man, unproved.
I’ve managed to get myself a really good job
having many hundreds of poor sods beneath me,
as greenkeeper, the graveyard grass I cut and swab,
that is when this terrible pain stops in my knee.
Your sister Edna has had a baby this week
not yet found out if baby boy or baby girl,
so don’t know if it’s got a tap to take a leak
or a hands free strikingly attractive pearl.
We both went to the doctor the other day
it’s your mother she is not keeping all that well,
the doctor placed a small tube down her passage way
said “Don’t talk”, I offered to buy, but wouldn’t sell.
Your uncle Raymond drowned last week in a large vat
this full of single malt whisky at the brewery,
workmates tried to save him, but he fought them off, drat,
cremated, fire took days to douse, come floury.
The weather is o.k.; it has rained twice this week
first off for three days, then the other for four days,
then undertaker rang, sounded very bleak
said, “Payment for grandma’s grave, or does not here stays”.
Oh! by the way I was to send you some money
but I forgot to place it in the envelope,
sealed it with kiss, thought you may think that’s funny
till you hear mum gave you to the charity “SCOPE”.

© Harry J Horsman 2012 

the idea is not mine originally, it is
   An adaptation of an Irish letter.


Details | Blank verse | |

Old son, Young Dad

He died forty
with strength and wit
He left a son Young and young

He died nighty 
With bones no teeth
He left a boy pale and forty

They meet in paradise
Dad still forty
Son at nighty
Dad thought it was grand pa
Son thought he was grand son
Who had died also


Details | Narrative | |

GERTY GRIBBLE'S DILEMMA

My aunty Gerty Gribble was a true blue pioneer 
as she and husband Harold ran a place called 'Bendemere'. 
Two dinkum Aussie battlers, who had given their life's blood 
to fifty years of toiling on their outback cattle stud. 
 
So constant had the struggle been that Gert would often quote, 
she'd worked her tiny butt off just to keep the place afloat. 
The hours were so demanding she had no time for romance  
and motherhood had passed her by, she never got the chance. 
 
Old Gert was old and wrinkled when they gave the game away, 
though fit as any Mallee bull and jogged ten k a day. 
They bought a little donga in a Queensland coastal town, 
but sadly, being childless often got old Gerty down. 
 
She knew that her poor Harold was beyond it, without doubt, 
so Gert would try a new technique that she had read about.   
"You're far too old for IVF," the Doctor kindly said, 
but Gert was not to be put off, she forged on right ahead.  
   
"It happens that my Harold has been looking to donate  
a hundred thousand dollars to a worthy cause of late. 
However if you cannot help".  "You'll make a lovely Mum 
I'm sure ... so may I ask would next week be to burdensome?" 
 
Aunt Gert she fell first time it seems and had a little boy, 
which left her Harold overwhelmed and Gerty filled with joy. 
This news then spread like fowl manure and folk were left enthralled, 
The Premier and local Mayor among the first who called. 
 
One day while I was driving past I thought I'd duck in too 
and see my little cousin ... sort of pop in out the blue. 
Aunt Gert was glad to see me, but she asked if I could wait  
until he woke from sleeping, though did not elaborate.  

Within the hour to my surprise ten other folk called by 
and aunty Gert told them the same and I was dumbstruck why. 
We sat and dunked our biscuits in the tea she'd kindly made 
while Gert was scratching her old head and looked somewhat dismayed. 
 
The Doctor from the clinic, who'd been playing basketball, 
had wondered how Gert's baby was and thought he'd make a call. 
"It's nice your dropping in" she said, "but Doctor would you mind 
just waiting till the baby wakes - I'm in a  kind of bind." 
 
"A problem Gert?" the Doctor said, "There something I can do?" 
"Not really Doc.  He's sound asleep,  these folk are waiting too. 
I'd show you him asleep and all, if that is what you'd like,  
but Doc, I can't recall just where I put the little tyke."


Details | I do not know? | |

You Wouldn't Know Good Lovin'

You can tell me that you love me
  But…I know that it ain’t true
Because you left on Sunday
  Said you were tired of feelin' blue

So now it’sTuesday afternoon
  And you’re coming around again
Well it doesn’t really matter
  Cuz, I ain’t lettin’ you back in

You said that you had changed
  Told me you knew you’d done me wrong
Well baby I heard that old line before
  Same ole’ story same ole’ song

Cuz’ you wouldn’t know good lovin'
  If it came knockin’ at your door
You wouldn’t know it now
  Darlin’- you never did before

I know you well enough by now
  That you’d say most anything
To get right back into my heart
  But baby…
When it comes to good lovin’
  You don’t even know where to start

So you think that I’d believe you
  With that same ole’ dance and song
Well, baby there just ain’t no way
  Now go on back where you belong

Cuz, you wouldn’t know good lovin'
  If it stared you in your face
Once you had me, now you’ve lost me
  Now...
Go find someone else to chase



Details | Free verse | |

Nap Time For Kitty

As the kids sat around undecided and blaize…
A summer project was needed ever so badly today…
My crew wavered and together finally exclaimed…
They wanted a video and to make it spectacular this time…
Anything less than U Tube quality would be a crime…
So the kids ask for a poem about their favorite fare,
They wanted it full of a large quantity of action and flair.
And the topic they wanted, that warmed their hearts…
Were the antics of Dandylion the cat of our house.
So cat chasing and spying became a spectacular game…
As they watched the kitty pounce upon his little rag mouse.
Then he slid and he jumped as he ran through the house.
He attacked the dogs tails as he snuck up behind…
And he climbed to the window to count birds passing by…
Then he tried to jump on the counter as I made everyone’s lunch.
He had to eat first… there was no other way, than first…
Then later I put the baby down for a nap…
And surprise, surprise! 
I found the Kitty next to baby with 4 paws to the sky.

The video, music, and poetry would eventually come to be…
With the older kids stringing it together for me.
It was finally good for a lot of laughs…
As the kids all got copies for dear Mom and Dad…

But now let me instruct and suggest as all videos must:
Though many a one was happily surprised and beset…
No Animals were hurt in the making of “Nap Time for Kitty”...
Of that, you can bet...


Details | Rhyme | |

4 Beautiful Baby Boys

Four beautiful baby boys
I'm always telling them to pick up their toys
for they leave such a mess
I really do wish they would leave me less

We take walks outside
and always enjoy the stroller ride
we love each others company
and the beautiful scenery

They love playing their video game
if I try to play they just say mom your lame
I may not be the cool one like dad
but I think I'm kind of rad

Four beautiful baby boys
they all make such wonderful noise
wrestling and fighting over toys
screaming and laughing what's not to enjoy

Now it's time to snuggle into bed
after all the story books have been read
kisses and hugs and sweet nothings said
till their fast asleep with their pillows on the bed.



* This poem is to my 4 beautiful baby boys( Austin,Jordan,Brandon,Gary) mommy loves you so
much!!!!*


Details | Rhyme | |

Baby-talk learning to climb

da big puppee wun away twees                                                                                        ma ma get foe mee peese                                                                                               we no do that baby go bye bye                                                                                  hims bad bo-bo dats gweezwy                                                                                   dada whaauh maa maa say no doggie wiee                                                              where him go dolly dat wayee                                                                                   waite hunnie hunnie nooowaa                                                                                       mawmie wiee daddie in twee


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Oh me, Oh my

Oh me,Oh My

Here I am sitting in this corner, 
Wondering where my baby could be, 
I am once again a loner 
My little baby I just cannot see. 
She said she was going for a bite to eat.
 I went ahead and picked us two seats. 
I said,"Darling you know where to find me 
It is where we always watch the matinee.
 She promised to be back in the twinkle of an eye 
But I soon found out,her promise was a little white lie 
Oh me,Oh my,my baby why?  

 I waited and waited for her to come back 
Time was slipping fast 
I wondered if she had fainted 
Had a heart attack 
Or if she had to spend some time 
just to pay the cost
 Oh me,Oh my,my baby why?   

By now the show had started 
And I was now downhearted 
I just wanted her close to me 
Just like a kitten and its flea 
I decided to sit tight till the break 
Then a further decision I'll have to make 
Should I send out an sos 
Or her fidelity I got to trust  
Oh me,oh my,my baby why?   

At the start of the break the lights came on 
They shone from above,like a midday sun 
Making it easy for all to see 
my little baby where she shouldn't be 
She was entwined in someones arm 
Her clothes were like sails in a storm
 What my eyes didn't see the darkness did censure. 
Where his lips did go,his hands did venture. 

I beckoned her to come to me
 I guess why she was there she just couldn't see. 
The lights were out,the place was dark 
She was just like Noah, without his ark. 
She looked at me and turned her back 
Then shout out, I have given you the sack. 
Oh me,Oh my, my baby why?


Details | Rhyme | |

Bim and Kim

Bim and Kim are my best friends, 
I think they’re rather neat.
Bim and Kim can twist and bend.
There second names are feet.

Bim goes left Kim follows suit,
If Bim jumps Kim jumps to.
The two of them are so darn cute,
When snuggled in my shoe.

Bim and Kim they like to run,
Trying to outrun each other.
They stick to me when having fun,
I guess I am their mother.

When Bim gets tired Kim stays still,
I watch them as they snooze
I laugh at them, I always will
When the two of them trade shoes.

Bim and Kim they love to laugh
And like to run through puddles.
Then after we all take a bath,
I give them lots of cuddles.

Brenda Meier-Hans
Written 08.31.2014


Details | Ballad | |

Baby Doll

When I was young, chic Baby Dolls were fun to dress and talk to.
To hope and dream with Baby Doll; those wishes would come true too.
What fun I had with Baby Doll; when she and I made just two.
That Baby Doll had clothes galore; and never did she have one chore.

She even had a car to drive; and the house we shared was so divine.
“When I grow up”, she made me wish “I’d really like to be one”.
My dream came true and I ‘m that doll I always longed to be;
But to those of you who think of dolls as mere objects of amusement;
You flirt, and say, “Hey Baby Doll”; then smile real big;
Your wide eyes filled with glee;

I cannot help it, if you think a toy is what you see;
So what I’ve learned to say real fast is,
 “don’t even think about playing with me”.


Details | Rhyme | |

Keep Your Obnoxious Baby to Yourself

Keep Your Obnoxious Baby to Yourself

By Elton Camp


You may think the world revolves around your brat
But I don’t agree and think it looks like a sick rat

From every body opening, disgusting fluids it spews
Close contact with something like that I don’t choose

How can you expect an inordinate amount of praise
For a creature that’s red and has a cross-eyed gaze

Every few minutes it will either defecate or urinate
How could such an odious entity fail, others to irritate

A big part of the time it spends entirely sound asleep
Awake, there’s screaming & crying from the little creep

And then you have the incredible nerve to be so bold
To suggest that your baby I might somehow like to hold

That’s an honor that I most certainly will decline to take
Why, I had far rather pick up and hold some rattlesnake

Babies and dogs are two things for which I have a dislike
Given a choice, I’d prefer holding Fido over your little tyke


(Just kidding—mostly)


Details | Acrostic | |

As the Baby Cries

At a
Total

And complete

Loss
Of time,
Sanity, as well as
Sleep!


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Meaning of Life

I might be able to bring an end to all of the world’s turmoil and strife,
Because I think that I have stumbled upon the one true meaning of life.

It seems it all began a long time ago when Adam got his Eve,
Let me tell it to you right away so that you might soon believe.
The Lord made Adam fall to sleep and then He took from him a rib,
He said “From this I’ll make a woman,” He wasn’t trying to be glib.

If there’s one thing in this world I know it’s that ribs should come in racks,
And they always should come in one of two ways, St. Louis or baby backs.
I prefer the baby backs although St. Louis style has its fans,
You should be able to enjoy either one you like with dry rub or sans.
You’ll need to coordinate the type of wood you want to use for smoke,

That reminds me I wanted to remember to tell you this woodsy joke.
It seems there was this young tree hugger, who chained herself to a tree,
She told the logger who came for it that you’ll have to cut through me.
He said, “Lady, with the chest you’ve got I’ll need to get a bigger saw,
You shouldn’t be aloud to wear a shirt that tight at least without a bra.”

Now that I think of it, my own shirt is getting kind of tight,
I think that the time to start a diet might just about be right.
With what I’ve been through I’ve added on one or two extra pounds,
Maybe this weekend I should try to golf one or two extra rounds.
But golfing is the kind of sport that takes up so much of my time,
Perhaps to get myself in better shape a stair master I should climb.

When I climb the stairs to go to bed at night, I really am so tired,
Sometimes I start to think about the things to which I have aspired.
And I wonder if the things that I’ve done will ever add up in my life,
Then I turn out the bedroom lights and I kiss my ever-loving wife.

That’s when it dawns on me that no matter how my mind is leaning,
At that precise moment it’s the thing that gives my life its meaning.
That gauzy speculation may be as fleeting as a whisper from a dream,
But the next inspiration waits in line for its turn, in my eye to gleam.

So please remember that the life you have is a gift from our Creator,
Enjoy every second you’re given and live it like there won’t be any later.

I hope the meaning of your life is clearer to you now and this can be a sign,
But if you’re even more confused, at least you’ve found the meaning of mine.


Details | I do not know? | |

Oh, baby

Oh baby, oh baby
Oh baby eating gravy
Oh me oh my
A baby eating gravy


Details | I do not know? | |

My Trip

The sun lights up the sky like my light does my room.
Laying in bed full of homework.
I dream of seeing the dollar menu, while feelings for keys, while listening to foxy 99, eager to taste the mocha frappe, and the aroma of the Hot & Spicy McChicken.
I ate the crispy McChicken as i sat on a cold chair smelling the frappe as i looked out the window listening to people conversations.
McDonalds is calling my name from a 5 mile distance.
Nawl bump McDonalds its ummm..... Pizza Hut.
Driving thru Richmond County bored as heck thinking while burning 3.29 per gallon gas.
I decided to stop by my beau house and pick him up and go to the mall in Fayetteville NC cause he's a monster
Bulls fighting while cars passing at 100 mph and children beating up their parents
Terrance while sitting on your Alpha Sierra Sierra raise your hand and slap yourself for doing what you did over me.
The stretched out Highway 144 of skip skop duppity dop Kenyatta
His dreamy eyes are like the nightmare of Freddie Kruger
While journeying we visited Heaven we stopped ate lunch chatted with Jesus and returned to Earth
Jack Rabbit is what she calls spoiled.
In 2025 we will have floating cars that transforms into mansions.
The fall of Fort Bragg
Ghost are good, bad, helpful, nice, mean, and most of all they make babies.
My tank is singing EMPTY so why you playing? you gone be saying HELP if you dont fill me up now laugh about that.
The dim lighting of my trek now appearing.


Details | Limerick | |

Mister at the Dog Pound

There once was a dog born in July
With three brothers and a sister, oh my!

In five months he was taken to the pound
And there by a family with a baby was found.

Home they went, but within a month did know
That jealous of the baby the dog did grow.

So, back to the pound he was taken
But the little dog did not feel forsaken.

All his friends were waiting there
Oh my, he didn't have a care!

Brave and bored in a cage he sat
Staring across the room at a large yellow cat.

One day anoher two-legged being came by
To stare, and smile, and say with a cry:

"Look at that face ... what a face!
Oh my, I want to take him home to my place!"

"What's his name?" she asked the clerk with a sigh.
"His name is Logan", the clerk did reply.

Logan?  Logan is a strange name to be,
He doesn't look like a Logan that I can see.

But he's certainly masculine, oh my
What a barrel chest and little head held high!

Such a face so strong and wise,
With those big limpid brown eyes.

He looks for all the world to see
Well ...  he looks like a, like a Mister to me!

So Mister the Dog found a home
Leaving his friends at the pound all alone.


Details | Couplet | |

Who Love's Ya Baby

who loves ya baby
hmmm now let me see

I know my mommy did
even though her shoes I did hid

I think my daddy did
when I didn't make him snid

brothers and sisters well maybe just a little
when I didn't get in the middle

my grandpa and grandma surely does
for I'll do anything for them just because

I know my little girl loves her momma
even better than president Obama

my dogs and cats loves me
even if they continue to make me sneeze

even my close friends new and old still spark the love
for we will alway's go on and well above

paperboy surely does
cause I tip him for keeping my paper out of bushes and shrubs

milkman used to
when I didn't make him shu

bill collectors oh yes
for I'm their baby who they love the best

so who loves me
well lets just continue to see



Tribute To Love



Also Entry For
Deborah Guzzi's 
Who Love's Ya Baby Contest


Details | Light Poetry | |

Oops!

I received good news the other day,
Wify says we have a baby on the way.

Off we went to has girlfriend’s home,
She lives there with two children all alone.

We tell we the good new and ask her to be God mum.
(I must tell you this girlfriend is the one I’ve been giving some)

See I’m a carpenter busy fixing her doors,
But this night she whisper in my ear “ The baby I’m carrying too is yours.


Details | Ballad | |

SURFING ON THE INTERNET

I TRIED TO REACH MY BABY AT HOME.
I TRIED TO CALL HER ON THE TELEPHONE
A BUSY SIGNAL IS THE ONLY THING I GET.
MY BABY IS SURFING ON THE INTERNET.

 SHE SPENDS MORE TIME ON THE INTERNET
 THAN SHE SPENDS TIME WITH ME.
SHE RATHER BE ON HER COMPUTER 
THAN. WATCHING T.V.
SO I COME TO THIS CONCLUISON
ITS THE BEST IDEA YET.
I WENT AND GOT MY OWN COMPUTER
AND JOINED MY BABY ON THE INTERNET.

ANY THING YOU WANT AT ALL
YOU CAN GET.
JUST LET YOUR FINGERS TO THE SURFING
UP ON THE INTERNET
ONE THING IS FOR CERTAIN,
AND IT IS A SURE BET
YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND MY BABY AND ME.
SURFING ON THE INTERNET


Details | Free verse | |

collaberation vs compulation

ok, mom's right, it's "collaborate and copulate"
that's what I meant to say

i am the mom and when i say
it is right it is and
it is weird and i could
be wrong.

ok. we agreed, we only get 2 lines
and you have taken 4 lines
(and I can't even be poetic, cuz you done took my lines)

i was just trying to save paper
for green for the environment
i was helping you.

Helping me?
Helping me what?
ok, I'm usin more lines
You ain't green! You ain't even fair!!!!!!!

WELL, I AM A protester and i
has a been sitting in trees
a lot,  baby sister you better
be nice to your ole ma.

Ok, for 1, you ain't no damn protestor
And you ain't in no trees
and we is hooked on phonics
but we profound
for instance, I done found my lighter

see, i was honest for you and i hired
a surrogate tree hugger so i could
be with you baby sister. duh

Mother, when will you EVER learn to use CAPS?
I know you are honest, and silly, cute, lovable
and you smell good.
But you still broke the 2 line rule AND
if you break the rules, I break them better.... love kim

well,we won't worry about this anymore.
go take a bath...love mom.

P.S. Didn't even get to talk about the copulating and all.... Damn.......


Written by a Mom and Daughter just being foolish cuz we love each other


Details | I do not know? | |

Ooops, Six Spooks In A Coup, De Grace

Embolden they, marching hand in hand a unison
Determined to bring down his child; Nero, Pharaoh and her
Sparrow trailed closely by their three little pigs ? Baby playing amid love's
Innocent crib unaware these, daemonicia noses pressed unto destiny's forte glass ?
Licking time's panes premogenitor's werewolves her full moon: crimson, begins it's howl
Hunch'back hallways imploding doors splintered eyes the battle cry ~ Charge.... 
                                                                                         ....Bobby, juggling his infant giggling.


Details | I do not know? | |

to be your lady By rain and chelsey

Its funny how the minute you text me im iight again
a smile breaks out on my face and i no longer feel so alone
i dont want our conversation to stop, its gotta continue
its funny how free i feel around you
but at the same time
im restricted
how can i ever show you whats inside
the feeling of happiness but also how i wanna cry
its like sometimes i cant breath around you
but when you leave my breath is caught in my chest
i watch you secretly, and love when your eyes linger 
but when you look away it breaks my heart
i wanna scream, but i dont think you'd hear it
if a tear went down my face
would you see it
if i went to hide
would you come find me
if i took your hand in mine
would you let go or hold on like i would hope you would
i want to be your baby, and baby this aint crazy
you just dont know how you been making me feel lately
its driving me crazy how bad i just wanna be your lady
i can picture it now. baby i'd treat you right
your hand in mine, holding it tight.
i'd keep you happy and feeling alive
baby be mine lets take this dive.
just say yes, lets do it, risk it with me
but the words dont come out, and all i can do is sigh
and try not to sit here and cry.
will this ever be, 
will this feeling ever leave me
i would hope so
cause if not im doomed here
to forever feel cold


Details | Rhyme | |

A Baby Only a Mother Can Love

A Baby Only a Mother Can Love

By Elton Camp

The new baby had quite spotted skin
It was a long way up neck to his chin

He was covered with hair, head to toe
Maybe it kept the baby warm, though

His ears extended from his head so far
And his nose was wet & black as tar

His legs were disproportionately long
Though there was really nothing wrong

The mother’s feelings I properly read
For I saw her kiss him on his head



(Written after seeing a mother giraffe tending to her newborn)


Details | Rhyme | |

Baby It Ain't Me

Baby It Ain’t Me
Copyright July 8, 2009 Corinne Curcio

After a hard day at the office
And needing to unwind
I lay on the couch to watch TV
And ease my worried mind

Fell asleep with my love beside me
But imagine my surprise
I awoke with purple toenails
And mascara on my eyes!

“Sweetheart – you look sexy”
She said with girly-girl glee
“You may think I look nice” I shrieked
But Baby – it ain’t me!

I'm a sporty kinda gal, you see
I buy my clothes at Sears
Nothing fancy, you understand
But I was soon reduced to tears

My Hun-Bun decided to help me
Pulling blouses from the rack
With frills and lacy bows she launched
An all out fashion attack

Kumquat, you’ll look beautful
Try them on right now – you’ll see!
You may think they’re pretty, I whined
But Baby It Ain’t Me

You’re right - you're fine the way you are she cooed
Then kissed me on the mouth
I felt electricity from the top of my head
All the way down to the Deep South

I sighed a contented sigh
But then I started to squirm
Imagine my horror when I really awoke 
With pink lipstick and a perm!

“Darling, you look fantastic
Surely you agree!”
“Will this nightmare ever end?” I moaned
Cause Baby It Ain’t Me!
It may be you
But Baby, it ain't me


Details | Rhyme | |

Mother Hen Adopts A Baby

She gives a cluck, cluck
Babies run for they could be out of luck
One baby stumbles and falls
Tripping over his big paws

Gathering all them under
Cover, with her feather's asunder
This mother hen tries to pull them in
One baby can't fit doesn't even blend

For he's adopted don't you see
Totally different from those three
Under the feathers free from harm
There he's kept very warm

What's so different do you suppose
About this one that under her wings repose
Why he's got a nose, long floppy ears
Feet that are huge with padded paws for gear

(I saw this picture of a mother hen that had adopted a puppy and had him under her and 
since I am adopted I thought of using this for a poem.)


Details | Rhyme | |

Poor Little Laura

Poor Laura Mabry
Everyone called her a baby
It made her little face look so sad.
But why was she teased? What was so bad?
What was about her that made the other children
All seem so glad?
I wanted to find it out
So I jumped into time
Melting clocks flew by me
I recognized one as mine.
Suddenly I fell out into a school yard
I knew it was Laura’s
 “Time for recess!” I heard Mrs. Morris.
The kids ran out
And trampled my head
But it didn’t hurt
It was as if I were dead
For they didn’t see me
But I saw poor Laura
Sitting under a tree.
No friends surrounded her
No jump ropes or dolls
Just her face in her hands
Shielding from taunting calls.
“A baby! A baby! A baby is she!”
I jumped up in defense,
“What has she done, for that tease to be?”
But no one had seen me
Or heard me, at that
So I reached down and dusted off my hat
“I’m don’t have a clue; I’m leaving and that’s that!”
So I’m not there any more, and why a baby is she
That will remain a mystery to me.
I give up, rather easy, you see,
But what’s already happened has happened;
That’s why it’s called history.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Man Who Was So Dumb

Driving down the interstate it didn’t take long to see
It was clear through the pouring rain what was ailing me
There’s a sign up ahead, 
Welcome to Tucson it read
I’m coming home where I’m supposed to be

There’s a man thumbing for a ride minutes from the town.
He’s soaking wet so I stop my truck and I turn around.
He climbs in, 
With a big, fat grin,
Grateful for the ride that he’d found.

And he said, “thank you kindly mister, I’d given up all hope,
My wife and baby daughter are waiting there at home,
I’d never want to hurt her, the way her ex had done,
He ran off to go and have some fun,
And I’m grateful to the man who was so dumb”.

I asked if he was willing to have a bite to eat,
He said, ”sure don’t worry, it’ll be my treat”.
Walked into a bar and grill
Shaking off the chill,
He started talking a’soon as we found our seats.

He said he was coming in from Phoenix where he’d gone to find
The ex who hurt his loving wife and left her in a bind,
Just to set things right,
He didn’t want to fight,
He just had to shake the hand of a man so blind.

He said, “thank you kindly mister, my car left me stuck,
I sure do appreciate a ride in your old truck,
My wife must be worried, that I’d do what her ex had done,
He ran off to go and have some fun,
I’m grateful to the man who was so dumb”.

He said, “I just have to show her, not all men are bad,
See she was carrying his child; he was all she had,
She never got to tell him,
Things were looking grim,
It’s been two years and now she’s not so sad”.

He showed me a picture, I couldn’t believe my eyes,
The woman I thought be waiting for me had found a man who’s wise,
He wouldn’t hurt her,
He’d never desert her,
I knew right then I’d have to break those ties.

And he said, “thank you kindly mister, I’d given up all hope,
My wife and baby daughter are waiting there at home,
I’d never want to hurt her the way her ex had done,
He ran off to go and have some fun”
Then he shook the hand of the man that was so dumb.






Details | Pantoum | |

C-4 Care

Today, what the whole world need is a box of c 
To be delivered with such seriousness and care 
Keeping safe the heaven’s gate and its sacred key
It will give safety and pleasure for those who share 

To be delivered with such seriousness and care 
Assorted flavor of peach, cherry and strawberry 
It will give safety and pleasure for those who share 
Hmm, with aromas that can last for an hour or three 

Assorted flavor of peach, cherry and strawberry 
A thin rubber hat of baby pink and sweet cream 
Hmm, with aromas that can last for an hour or three 
Extracted, perfectly, from fresh fruits of my dream 

A thin rubber hat of baby pink and sweet cream 
Keeping safe the heaven’s gate and its sacred key 
Extracted, perfectly, from fresh fruits of my dream 
Today, what the whole world need is a box of c 


Details | Free verse | |

Eiger counter

Eiger counter


"Don't throw the baby out with the bath water," please the water was clean after 
father and mother and the water was better than ever even after the brother but 
when eye took my bath the poor baby was lost they looked in the drain but poor 
baby was gone there forever. The moral is kept as a memorial there does not 
toss out the clean water.
A coward dies a thousand times but a hero dies but once and a man who lives 
much like a DOG is always spit upon but to be a dog still tied to the living is more 
to be desired than heroing  because the bible says a man who lives is better 
than the dead. 
We will get married in JUNE no we will marry in JULY or even MAY is better 
because the ewe is born the first time in the month of May showers and what’s in 
JULY well the CHARLAX was born and bred.
Bread was given out according to status. Workers were given the burnt bottom of 
the loaf, the family got the middle and guests got the top or the "upper crust."
The loaf of bread is still the status but now the homeless man gets his loaf 
without the burnt part on. Eye am now the uppermost crust.
Making the batter up planting the leaven worth leaving the center for mye family 
clan. 
Pease and thankzx ewe one and all for peas given do not thaw until the fall from 
vine refine the peas and make a handful last for days.
This is why the nursery rhymers’ fortold:
Peas porridge hot, peas’ porridge cold, pea’s porridge in the pot nine days old." 
Enter laughing.
It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would sit 
around with guests, cut off a bit of pork and "chew the fat."  Then they would toss 
the ole pigskin.
Play leap pig again. Slop the children. Smoke the hambone and root in the cellar.
What a feller this poet seems at work. He has a eiger counter at his home.


Details | List | |

My Closet

Today I decided to clean out my closet (Bad Idea)
 
In it I found:
 
A wool coat with a moth hole
Old go-go boots, one needs a new sole
 
An ugly purse made of lizard skin
Inside stained from a leaking pen
 
A baby book for each of my boys
A big box of outgrown toys
 
Three dresses that have shrunk, just hanging there
Old gardening jeans with knees worn bare
 
A bathing suit, too little, I fear
Even some old fishing gear
 
A purple pantsuit..Holy Chit
Glad nobody ever saw me wearing it
 
Some baby clothes that belonged to the kids
Potpourri jars that have no lids
 
So much junk on the floor
I can hardly close the door
 
I know I should throw it all away
But guess I'll save it for another day
 
Well, that was fun, I think with a grin
And just like that, I put it all back in 


Details | Verse | |

I've Done It Again!

 

She said you left a burning hole that can never be filled,
The hurt that you showed me is deeply instilled.

Our life was so grand, I loved you so very much,
You were all that I needed, I longed for your touch.

She said I never saw the storm clouds till it was too late.
I would have never of dreamed this to be my fate.

He said I didn’t want it to come out this way,
I still have feelings for you, okay.

It’s just that baby she’s new to me, and she’s so nice,
She turns me on and I’ve only gone out with her twice.

She said that’s what I’m talking about, after all my faithful years,
You’d take her and leave me standing here in a pool of tears.

He said baby why don’t you come with us, you might even like it.
That didn’t go over very well, man she can sure throw a fit.

I just don’t understand he said, you used to like to go out,
I just wish you weren’t so jealous of my bass boat, How long you gonna pout?

Women!!!!


Details | I do not know? | |

WHAT A CROC

Has a baby bear hair?
Well, yes!
Is a baby hare bare?
I guess.
But the funniest thing I ever saw,
Was a crocodile wearing a dress.