Santa Claus has travel worries at the North Pole,
With terrible winter storms brewing there afoot,
He knows Christmas is so close and so he must put
His children first now whom he loves deeply and whole!
And so he must find red-nosed Rudolph to cajole
Him into guid’n his sleigh on Christmas Eve to boot,
For this would bring his kids so much joy—what a hoot!
Rudolph’s red nose bright guiding them from the North Pole!
Rudolph leads Santa’s reindeer on Christmas Eve Night,
While all shout out with joy on this blessed holy night!
Santa’s reindeer love Rudolph in equal measure,
For with him they won’t be lost—oh what a pleasure!
Rudolph’s glowing red nose shines now ever so bright,
As we all with Santa celebrate the Lord’s night!
Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved, (December 12, 2014)
(Petrarchan Sonnet poetic format in Iambic Hexameter)
Sense of humour, elevating our spirits
Musing over the simple things in life, rejoicing at what we find
Imagination stimulated, childlike, seeing the wonders in life
Light heartedness, laughing at one’s self!
Everything as it is meant to be, smiling, enjoying, the gift of life
Religion wrapped up with a bow
Sanitized, alphabetized, in
order all up in a row
No questions asked your belly
full your pockets overflow
Sieg heil, tow the party line
You'll be religion"s ho
Grab your pitchforks, torches
too we marching up the hill
The doctors in with body parts
and still attempts to build
In frenzy and with blood thirst
no mercy we'll extend
No matter what the truth is
we rally all the troops, and fight until the end
Just justify your actions
And say "God told me to"
For this will ease your conscience
And make your lie sound true
While the things that really
Are lying unattended
To Mercy Grace or Humility
Your knee remains unbending
Your form of godliness has no
power God can see
But just hold another seminar
and make the topic . . .
Stroke my pride fix my
marriage and my children too
Three easy steps become a
partner and then it's free for
But send your money in today
Or we're going off the air
But my book is free my teeth
are straight I got morning talk
Forget the sick forget the
hurting their sin is their own
Let's just make sure we got our
steeples and stained glass
We don't really want to touch
them for fear of their disease
But we do like our pews padded
and we do enjoy our ease
Because we know that God's
main concern is to make us all
And we 'll write another book
When He don't act like we think
And I'm sure when we stand
He'll pat our heads and say
Because you were religious
You made Me smile today
I think you see by now
This is not how it will be
For powerless religion is not
And now you stand here gazing
Wondering what next I will say
Looking at hypocrisy
I bid you all good day
2nd Timothy 3:5
A poem wrote by me, based on Person who is a deserving icon but still struggling hard with his career life and addressed as disturbed creature.
DISTURBED CREATURE--> Am I ?? BY Mrs.Madhavi Suyog Pagare
Am I so insane, Am I so mad,
Dramatic mood of mine is so die hard.
Destroyed my peace, Shattering my dreams,
People call me as disturbed creature.
As like mounting the pain, attenuating the drain!!
Digesting my feelings lying inside me,
Strangely nobody cared, call me sick.
Teasing me lavishly and my heart is pricked,
Hurted me like hell when addressed me as stupid.
As like showering rain, missing on the lane!!
Time lapse in journey of life,
Can hamper anybody on its path.
When I see innate reflex of mine,
I always use to brightly shine.
Though possessing every job attributes of mine,
I never thought the authorities will ditch and hamper my career line.
Falsely acting bloody swine, making my image as fade as wine.
As like affecting harmonious divine, my soul was, as is transparently pristine!!
Destroying me and testing my patience, Never wanna give up.
Transformed deviations, wanna rightly screw up.
I wanna raise up, I wanna shake up.
I wanna wake up, Tranquilize my mind.
Unzip the professional life compressed by the culprits.
Wanna explore myself, driving the motivated heights of journey.
Lastly waiting for the optimistic opportunity.
Cuffing the suspect ,I wanna rejoice by my pattern of life!!
with Suyog Pagare
Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?
Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.
Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.
Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.
Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.
My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.
Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.
(To be read after my 'Fire and Brimstone'.)
Dragon Fly, Dragon Fly, fly away home. You’ve caused enough trouble here, I am told.
All you wanted was to ring the church bell, but the belfry your body did not take well.
Terrible things happened all around, and the belfry you left is certainly not sound.
Old Lady Moore still has her cane, to protect them again, if you cause harm, within.
Old Lady Swanson’s lost hat is her major complaint, apologize profusely, be a saint!
The Church belfry will need lots of work; by the carpenter Trolls to fix it’s bridgework.
The people all need to calm down, they were scared and now the church is shutdown.
Looks like they’ll need a new fancy annex to be built for weddings and such…
To help them forgive… even… ever… slightly… enough. Though, of course…
The preacher himself…wants you back, for sure; I am definitely, and totally assured.
He’s never been inspired to such lofty greatness to soar, never, not even, once before.
He says you hold his key, to reach the lost, as they tune in to see what’s coming next.
He wants to add even, the Trolls to the mix. If they can be saved, well, you get the gist.
And you’ll have to attend church for quite a while, yes, still, as an itsy bitsy Dragonfly.
You’ll need to get forgiveness from all, you know, before you grow big, again, I am told.
The witch is quite clear on this spell, a dragonfly you’ll stay till everything’s made well.
Seems, you also, owe them an apology, for half scaring them… well… nearly to death.
Bumps, bruises, and a broken arm need to heal, from jumping over the pews, they feel.
Plus some of the teenagers, have made tee shirts of you, and want your autograph, too.
You see, your limited edition, when signed, will pay their way to bible camp, this time.
And the girl with the cast on her arm, wants a picture of you on a leash, so be charming!
You see, you scared her, a really whole lot, if she can pet you, her fear will be forgot.
It seems, you really messed up, this time, you see… but all will be forgiven, eventually.
So Dragon Fly, Dragon Fly, fly away home. They understood, once your story was told.
If you agree to all I have said: They’ll give you a bell outside, to ring before church…
Each and every Sunday Morn, with a special alcove, made for only you, to perch...
Remember, if God can love a mischievous little Dragonfly... And he can love you, too.
So until next church time... Bye Bye...
[A] DONE DEAL
[A] defeated disgusting man this is.
Disallowed defense because of his disease.
[A] Done deal to compete with the Dogs!
Distribute dinner to him as a better eat of hog maws.
Do not deliberate this as a lost.
[A] Done Deal depletes the prognosis.
Dis Dell do.
Hair her head to...
[A] Done deal the truth!
PENNED ON JULY 04, 2014!
This record player has a switch
Then there is the pitch and ditch
"The peacemaker" is Glock's new gun
Its spent rounds are rapture and fun
Yes killing's a thrill
Since I'm mentally ill
And need to own more than just one
A gun for me is like prozac
The bullets clipped pills in a stack
I'm not paranoid
But have weapons deployed
In case I should have an attack
"You pack in the morning"
"Come stop your crying now"
"From this day on"
Are you sure?
"You just call of my name"
Oh yeah? "All you have to do is call"
Okay. "You got a friend". Goodie.
"Nobody does it better"
Are you sure about that?
"Nobody does it half as good as you"
Where's the rest?
"I would do anything". Okay, let's see now, lol
"Don't you know it's true?". I'll see.
"It's lying here somewhere". Okay, I'll look for it.
In the mean time you keep looking too, haha.
Between both of us, we'll find it.
"Do it again". Ah, I don't know about that.
"Say I love you". Must I? lol
"You look inside my fantasy". Do you now?
I don't know what you see in there but it ain't pretty. Haha just kidding
I think I'll stop now
Will catch you next time lol
When you're hurt inside,
And there's no where to hide,
And there's no one on your side,
And it's killing your pride,
Never take hate outside,
When your heart is chocking,
The heavy words never spoken,
The things that hurt you inside,
When love has died,
Never take hate outside,
When your heart is gone,
From being alone,
And it beats a solemn tone,
When you're cold inside,
It's only a short ride,
Never take hate outside
Oh Paper Clip, Dear Paper Clip
let me always sing your praises!
You keep my pages held tight
without the violence of stapling
and yet your grip is so gentle as
to release a sheet without a blemish.
When the project in your care concludes
you go back into the desk desk drawer
with nary a complaint or a quibble
and fall back into the stiff routine
of anticipating the next chance
to make yourself useful.
You are so loyal and understanding
that even when I ask you to be
a hanger of christmas ornaments
you immediately bend to the task.
You don't even mind
when I straighten you out
and use you like a toothpick.
You remain the consummate aide
through both thick reams and thin.
You have won my heart
you little metallic angel
and if Mother approves
I have every intention
of making you an honest binder.
Jehovah's Witness' Door Pamphlets
Catholic Church During Halloween
Scrabble Night With Missionaries
Preacher Owning at Dungeons & Dragons
Our Holiness the Dalai Getting a Text From His Ex
Sea Anemone Makes Amends
Quit my job, smashed my car
My back does throb, need to learn guitar
So I can make, a silly song
And I can sing, it all day long
About how, my God is strong
So that even now, nothing’s wrong
Even though, I quit my job
smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I’ve got God
So I won’t let any thought
Any worry or fear
Convince me you’re not near
Even when, I quit my job,
Smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I won’t sob
I need to learn guitar
We are gay aliens
We come in peace
We traveled inconspicuously
to your world through intergalactic
pods or wombs
Our host who nurtured us
had the wisdom to know
that we were not like
Our hosts protected us
in our infancy
and from the men
they fathered us
These same men were
the first of many
to hate and hurt us
They called us names
like faggot and sissy
We the gay aliens
Who come in peace
and hurt by their
but we still love them
We were falsely
accused of beguiling
drinking the blood
and mutilating animals and children
to propagate our race
But that is not our mission
We come in peace
Some of us did
not complete our
Some of us did
not complete our
the hate of the
world for us
We were drunken
ingested too many small white pellets
screwed with no avail
Who we were
And why we are here
We are the gay aliens
We are legions
Hidden among you
We are a gift to humanity
And we come in peace
To Dine, To Die;
While thunderous eyes
Grasp concepts to recycle.
Constant debt crisis
A political paradox
Grating social devices
Over the sorting of socks.
An endless groan
The debate grants no throne.
Over a roast
Potatoes won't listen
To who talks the most.
"That point is so interesting"
The floor is open for chat
"What is real?" not a thing
"Meow" adds the cat.
I am going to write some funny poems now
Okay what do you want to hear?
I can't tell you what you want to hear
Because I cannot hear you
Okay I said I don't want anything
You think I am serious?
Why? How am I going to get things I want?
Do you think you can do whatever?
What is whatever? lol
Dream when you sleep?
Does that mean you sleep right now?
Why do you wait for later?
Don't you want it sooner?
Why do you like today?
Would you rather like tomorrow?
I think I am done with you
Yes my friend
You don't believe me?
As I sit here and wonder what went wrong,
I realized, nothing went wrong.
People say it was your time to leave this world,
to go and see your savior, your God.
But really, everyone knows it was your Johnny boy, the Fisherman.
He couldn't spend another second without you.
His beautiful lover, the wonderful mother, the amazing grandmother.
As I sit here and wonder about what you're doing,
I imagine you two dancing and singing with your buddies from Bailo's.
I imagine you watching over your family and leading them in the right direction.
I could almost see you sitting on the bleachers for my high school graduation,
and I started to tear up knowing you were there watching.
As I sit here and wonder about you,
I know you miss us just as much as we miss you.
Ryan and Jackie will never know how kind and gentle you were, like a summer breeze.
Bella will never know how generous and humorous you were, making everyone laugh.
But I will know, and I will tell them, even if it is with tears in my eyes.
As I sit here and wonder about my future,
I think of you.
You always knew I was going to be a successful person.
And I always believed you.
my number one role model. My favorite grandmother.
My best friend.
RIP Roberta J. Kobstad
You will be forever missed.
I want to make you laugh so hard
That you will fall out of the chair
What makes a person go to the bathroom so much?
Is it something they eat or is it something that eats them?
Would you do that again?
Now think back what was your bad experience with the opposite sex?
Did you have any?
So how do you know what you have is good?
Would you rather someone run to you or you run to them?
Wow you are stuck up, aren’t ya?
You can’t do either
Oh my goodness you need help big time
Would you jump out of the plane if it is on fire?
What? You would?
You mean you'd rather be a cream of wheat instead of roasted turkey?
Ah too funny
I don’t think you know what you want
Until you face it
Such as want more or want nothing
Would you ask or would you prefer not ask?
Would you say or would you keep silent?
Would you share or would you hold up?
I got you
I know you inside out
Would you say I do or would you say I don’t?
You are still figuring it out
"What if you woke up tomorrow with only
what you asked god for today?"
As I read, a scowl is freed, then a smile
indeed, and I'll tell you why - I say:
"Poseidon is not so beneficent,
And neither - I wager - is Zeus.
So it seems to me if a man is honest,
he wakes up with what HE has produced."
This much is true. But I jest, of course,
I know they mean well, but let's see...
If god is provider, I'll have some hot cider!
...And yet none is present for me.
"Now, now, be a gentleman. Don't let your
sharp tongue be like teeth." I think.
But if others' boats fill with water,
ought I not inform them they'll sink?
I just want to write funny poems from now on
No more bull shit
Pardon my French
I am tired of always trying
Whether it’s something new
Or something old
Don’t want to do that no more
It can come if it wants to
I ain’t going to get it
There make up my mind
In one second flat
Did I make it clear?
I think so
And who knows
Running with the wind
But this time it ain’t be against the darn wind
I said it
It’ ll be whatever
Come if you want to
She visits in my dreams,
A place that I love to go,
For when my body is sleeping;
My subconscious starts to show.
She is not the same as when I’m awake,
She is fierce and unafraid;
She watches over the pillows,
Where my head is soundly laid.
She has wings just like an Angel,
Only hers are made of light;
With brilliant rainbow hues,
Enough to shine throughout the night.
To me she looks much older,
Maybe even wise;
One look at me and I know,
She can see right through my lies.
For her and I are one,
No hiding from the truth;
She understands that I’m growing,
Developing from my youth.
She never passes judgment,
For herself would be included;
Her thoughts are always brilliant;
And never convoluted.
I’m referring to my soul;
Aged throughout my lives.
She gives my words their meanings;
And my body is what she drives.
Inspiring my movements,
And wiping all of my tears;
Her voice is mine but rings through,
My head and out my ears.
Perhaps it’s her who is writing this,
Giving me the rhyme;
My subconscious and my consciousness;
Working together for all of time.
Although most won’t understand this,
That it is about a different part of me,
Tonight under the full-moon;
I’m setting my spirit free.
Allowed to dance in the stars,
And run across the sky;
Only to return to our body,
Suppressing her urge to fly.
Too often, a simple X-ray
makes militant atheists pray.
I wasn't going to release this poem,
But when I was Reading from Casarah list,
changed my mind, so it's not my fault,
Jan made me do it.
The story about Mikey and His Ass
Now Mikey was a poor boy,who
Lived out on a farm
Although he never owned a thing
He never lost his charm
Nor did he have a penny, when the
Plate was passed around
His shoe were full of holes
Where his feet would touch the ground
But Mikey Loved the Church, and
Especially the Mass
That's where Mikey kneeled and prayed
And lo, it came to pass
He didn't pray for shoes,
Or money for the tithe
Instead, He was blessed
With a mighty Ass to ride
Of course, Mikey liked his drink, it
Put him in good cheer
But for, every shot of whiskey He'd
Buy his Ass a beer
Soon though, he discovered, when he'd
Ride his Ass to town
That every step that it would take
There came an awkward sound
But the sound was not the problem
Not for Mikey or his Ass
It was the smell that lingered on
And made the town folk gasp
The smell got so putrid,
That the Vicar had to say
"Mikey it'd be better
If you wouldn't come this way"
You can imagine how he felt, He
Was really broken hearted
Now, asked to leave the Church, he loved
Because his Ass had farted
So Mikey learned a lesson, and
Returning to The Mass
He wore new shoes, and gave a tithe
Because, He sold His Ass
I do not know?
Illegitimi non carborundum ;-)
...Staggering, my vision cloudy,
I fall to the hard ground.
when life’s sharp left-jab leaves my face bloody,
and all that surrounds me, is the desolation of loss I feel all around.
I see myself slipping,
down the abyss to where nothingness exists,
still, I cling on, groping for a foothold,
for my will to stay persists.
I clamber up, I stand my ground, though battered and bruised I may be,
my curtain is not falling yet, I have some fight still left in me.
It is then, in the pit of despair, when all seems bleak and painful and dull,
I summon the strength from deep within,
I rise, slowly, to face the day,
I refuse to sink,
to wallow, to surrender, to throw in the towel,
for I am stronger now,
indeed I am, after all the years, and all the battles,
I stand, bruised and bloody,
I refuse, to sink, to drown,
for they can try, to punish me some more,
but I shall not allow them to grind me down…
I love to watch the Comedy Channel
And chuckle all evening long,
There's plenty of time for suffering,
Till then I'll sing my humorous song,
But suffering will find me
when it should so desire
But until that time
comes to me,
In tender folds of dreams,
And love real, remembered, or imagined,
Dances into my mind,
to my great delight...
I'll hug my favorite pillow...
and sleep on through the night.
I do not know?
Life was tiresome
a chore at best
everything seemed like a series of tests
every emotion was acted not felt
hope like the snow in the sun would melt
faith was now humorous to my weary mind
purity lost in humankind
uncertainty like a heavy cloak weighing me down
on the outside i'm smiling like a circus clown
I close my eyes and think of the sky
its purple and orange and red
a vision of the ocean peaceful and blue
starts to clear my head
I am surrounded by beauty
I hear natures effect
I hold this moment
an emotion I detect
foolish for my self pity
the world is full of grace
to see it close your eyes
feel the sun
find your place.
I do not know?
Preparation and “To-Do-Lists” can never truly prepare you
For what great plans God has in store for each and EVERY one of us.
We may ourselves telling God our plans, which is probably
Quite humorous to Him.
His agenda will inevitably be carried out and is the perfect plan without a doubt.
I pray that all will be able to reach within themselves to find the person whom
God has intended them to be and be eager to fulfill God’s glorious plans as they
are always the best laid ones.