I'm sorry that I'm always sad,
That I do things to make you mad.
I'm sorry that I've lost my hope,
I'm sorry for the ways I cope.
I'm sorry that I bring you down,
I'm sorry that I make you frown.
I swear to God that you must believe,
I love you more than you can see.
I'm sorry that my heart is dying,
I swear to you that I've been trying.
I'm sorry that I cannot see,
much future left in front of me.
I'm sorry that I'm so depressed,
I realy know that I'm a mess.
Writing this note's made me see,
Just how much hurt I've made you grieve.
I'm so disgusted with myself,
I'm so damn bad for your good health.
I know that It's hard to admit,
I've made this such a long hard trip.
I feel like I have ruined your heart,
Like I have torn you all apart.
I have a question for you dear,
And, yes, your answere I do fear.
You said that you missed her big picture,
When you saw, you changed your fixture.
For your sake, love, please look at mine,
Before your heart's put on the line.
I'm sorry that I'm so impatient,
I'm just afraid life's not worth waiting.
I really don't want you to leave,
I want for us to both believe.
I want to once again find hope,
But it will be hard on my own.
But then again if I'm too much,
I don't want to kill all your love.
I'm sorry for the ways I fight,
I'm sorry that I dim your light.
I'm sorry I'm so negative,
That I am so competative.
I'm sorry that I'm so outrageous,
I'm sorry my hurt's so contagious.
I don't want to see your heart eache,
Cuz when I do my heart it breaks.
I'm sorry that I'm not so strong,
But you inspire my hearts song.
I'm not alone cuz now I see,
Your light that's shining just for me.
I'm sorry that I'm up and down,
But, Dear, You win the patience crown.
My love for you's so strong, please see,
A fire burns for you in in me.
I know that It's hard to believe,
But God will help us, just you see.
I can't keep from calling you, when you never answer the phone
I just want us to talk it through but that can't done alone
My three minutes are almost out, so I'll just talk to your machine
I know your mad, without a doubt and your probably hating me
I was a fool to treat you that way, those things I said were cruel
Wishing I could take back that day, I am so sorry for hurting you
I wish we could talk face to face, just to give us a brand new start
Almost done now, don't push erase! I love you babe with all my heart
They say my duty is to protect the lands
Defend it! Even with your bare hands
I train so hard in the sun and rain
To become stronger, something to gain
Task after task it gets tougher
My heart and skin become rougher
Learning how to become a predator
I was chosen for this, not just a visitor
Aim for your target's heart
Kill him, find another one, restart
Gradually, I lose all emotion
Combat is my only devotion
Suddenly terrors outbreak
Our country is at stake
What are we going to do?
Start a war, come soldier, you!
Surely, the fight begins
But who are the villains?
I didn't have time to think
These dots to link
I was at war
Fighting like a wild boar
Killing as many enemies as I can
This terror, I will surely ban
An enemy tries to run
I kill him just for fun
Wait! Am I enjoying this?
What is this unholy bliss?
Feeling delight by making others suffer
What is it that I offer?
Wasn't it peace and tranquility?
How come I'm committing infidelity?
I look around, the seeds of hell
Have all come out of their shell
Me and my fleet are shouldering
Countless cases of rape
Committed by the heroes wearing the cape
The land we were supposed to protect
With corruption, it, We did infect
Following orders from above
All our humanity we had to shove
Why didn't we ask first?
Why, for blood, did we thirst?
The enemy I killed was just a kid
Going back to a place where he hid
To the world, I'm a hero
Personally, I'm just a zero
My humanity is back
Taking me to the right track
But I'm chained to my regret
A shame that I can't neglect
Although, I did quit the war
It’s not enough to pay back the score
I got a soul, yet I'm just a boulder
I am the honorable soldier
I’m on a planet with a golden kiss
It shimmers with glory, such bliss!
As I zoom in, it turns into a dark land
Peep in, I’m afraid, I cannot stand!
In darkness, I see a bright glowing tower
Inside, a plethora of so called ‘man’ power
Zoom in; I see ‘beast’ kind disguised as ‘man’ kind
Alas! Not a single kind beast could I find
I hear roars of uncivilized beings
And moans of so-called weaklings
I see a trail of emotional turmoil
Those 7 deadly sins wrapped in a dazzling foil
Gifted to humanity, his power, his grey matter
It separates humans from animals and allows us to shatter
The once created planet with a golden kiss
Will it ever show the signs of holy bliss?
You hate your dad, I know
but I can't choose between you two...just no
You're right, I probably would never see
how bad I screwed up, but
without you, I've gone nuts.
Seriously, I will keep trying
to have you back, 'cause I'm crying.
I don't wanna lose you, o.m.g.
I'm really sorry...
I know I was a terrible girl
but I'm a clam and you're my pearl.
Without you, I have no value
without you, I'm no longer cool
I missed everything we've been through.
Your voice when you sing, I'm glued to you.
Hey, I'm still your number one fan
and you'll always be my sweet, young man.
you're the water, and he's the sun
without you both, I'd be done
I hope you can just understand
I'll always wanna hold your hand
no matter what happened, I'll love you still.
We used to hang and used to chill.
now I'm mad we can't do that
but again, it's my fault the balloon went splat.
I'm desperate to hear you say
'I love you mom, it'll always be this way'
I want your forgiveness, seriously
I'm really sorry.
I am so screaming bloody MURDERrrrr!!!!!!!!
catch that Poet Destroyer!! (grr, grr, grrrrrr)
She took my turtle sweetie
then said he tasted salty
Well what did she expect?
She is now my prime suspect!
Gone now is my turtle lovey-poo...
and I'm left crying boo-hoo-hoo
I'm plotting now my sweet revenge
for my love's death I will avenge
Watch out, pd I'm watching you
oh! the pain--your turn to stew!!
Did you know sea turtles shed tears?
Were you not moved when they appeared?
What did you do to the shell?
Did you sell it, do pray tell...
my heart is really breaking, b-r-e-a-k-i-n-g
were you the one who did the chopping??
Did his bones go crunch, crunch, crunch?
who else did the munch, munch, munch?
Thanks to you I shall never see him smile,
never see him again swim in style.
Huh? Who is this crawling towards me??
none other than my turtle honey!?!
What? You mean turtle news got it wrong?
You mean, they messed up all along?
pd wasn't cooking you at all? and not Soup?
So you're telling me I've been duped??
But I know they said she was eating turtles!!
Devouring them in between chortles!!
popping them in her mouth like candy
then chasing them down with shandy!
Oh. OH. OHhhhhhhh.
well why didn't anybody tell me earlier?
now I have to say sorry to p. destroyer??
Ok, ok, I'll be the bigger turtle and apologize.
Sorry so sorry pd, I didn't realize...
You were eating Chocolate turtles, the pecan kind
*blush* *blush* teeheehee, spare me some, if you don't mind??
August 3, 2010 written for pd's turtle soup contest
ahaha a bit long-winded sorry I didn't know
where this would take me, had fun though,,,,
+ Linda-Marie I hope you don't mind, I just had to
take from your honey poo & use "poo" as well
for my own turtle-poo ;) lol too cute
I know that my scars cause embarrassment for you
My skin just doesn’t heal quickly from black and blue
I’m sorry that my sweet cat causes you to wheeze
And that when we went camping you caught lime disease
And I just hate it that I lost my sanity
By ducking so your fist would crush my vanity
I’m sorry I bought you too many birthday gifts
And that you felt compelled to toss them from the cliffs
My cooking, as you say, will never win a prize
Now with frozen dinners I’ll try to compromise
I criticized your sister for trying to dress fancy
With pretty clothes to hide her unwed pregnancy
I promise to worship your saintly old uncle
And I’ll try to ignore his ghastly carbuncle
My contrition’s sincere for driving you to rage
Remorseful I am that you broke my rib cage
When the hospital staff called police to the scene
You’d no choice but to stick a dagger in my spleen
And now, poor husband, you are forced to care for me
Because my battered body reflects your artistry
Please take my apology, I’ll not report you
The next time my faults cause your anger to ensue
For evermore I will repent
For not having saved a cent
For my retiring aging years.
For spendthrift ways I am in tears
How I got here, I’m not really sure, the reasons aren’t always real clear,
But somehow I manage to live in the dog house most of the days of the year.
She said she felt blotted and chubby today; did I think she was getting too fat?
Don’t worry dear, there is nothing to fear, I think you look always like that.
She had tears in her eyes, starting to cry; said I don’t listen to her any more,
I’m sorry dear, what were saying, I was trying to hear the football score.
She says I don’t love her, not any any more, not like when we both were kids,
I'm sorry Honey, of course I do, its just that I forgot to put down the lid.
So once again Rover you need to move over, Daddy is sleeping here tonight,
I don’t mean to upset her, I try to get better, but the words never come out just right.
Sorry can be like an empty trolley
Like a screaming child without a lolly
We have both hurt each other so much and we are both in pain
I don’t want to hurt anymore I don’t want to blame
Everything happens as God intends
But we are still special companions and friends
From tray day I have looked back
I have walked your pain on every single track
It will end and I will never hurt you again
I don’t want us to ever go through pain
God sent us for each other
You are my companion, my friend my lover
You mean the world to me and I mean the world to you
We cannot leave each other we are stuck like glue
I am sorry and my hurt will stop here
I want you back I want you near
Tomorrow was a day too late
remorse spent a sleepless night of blame.
Yesterday’s gone without warning
regret's second-chance now has no aim.
Today’s lament sounds so empty
reconciliation woke to shame.
What's wrong with being truthful?
Not speaking up is a waiting game.
I welcome you all to the dance
A place where souls are held in trance
Destiny is our truest fate
Taking your soul will feel great
I was born unto this life
To distribute pain and strife
There is nothing you can do
I shall have this dance with you
As we dance across the floor
I shall show you what destiny is for
You can try with all your might
I will have this dance tonight
As we dance you should know
I will crawl up in your soul
So take my hand and join the dance
I hold your soul in my trance
No need to try and run away
With your soul I shall play
By the time I am through
Nothing that you can do
For I shall leave you like a shell
As I take your soul with my spell
There is nothing like a dark romance
So will you please join the dance?
Beauty can be rated by so many things
Like the noise birds make as they sing
Beauty is a flower growing from a seed
It also is a baby tender with its needs
If a person takes the time to look around
There is so much beauty on this earth to be found
Beauty can be a mountain all covered up with snow
Or it can be firelight with its entrancing glow
One thing in my life I have come to know
No beauty is as beautiful as the beauty of the soul
I posted this this way to show how
much poetry has changed me. I
guess now you understand why
I wanted to bury them old poems.
Sometimes like right now I just
can't help but cry for my pain is
Unspoken words linger on my mind. Silence cried a river of tears
Perhaps those are unwritten words ought to be read in everyone's hearts.
Oh little Israel look around
Egypt has taken over your towns
Oh little Israel don’t you see
All that is left is rubble and debris
Tornados have swept through fields of old
As your people continued to worship gods of silver and gold
Hurricanes destroyed their precious land
As their cries looked up and then shouted quick demands
Oh little Israel they have forgotten the one
Who made the stars moon and sun
Oh little Israel look who they have allowed to rule
Puppets on strings are there new favorite tool
When foundations are cracked it affects the entire city
If repentance does not come soon it will be such a pity
For a rebellious generation is already on the rise
Quick fixes and false ambitions, each ready to compromise
Oh little Israel you have a voice
Tell all of Egypt they still have a choice
When they Surrender and begin to remove
All in which I don’t approve
Healing waters will run once again
Egypt must make God their savior not just their friend.
By: Sabina Nicole
I sit here in this white walled room, not knowing what to do,
I sit here in my misery, thinking all my wrongs through.
All there is to do in here, is think of my mistakes,
And think of all the people that have blown me off like flakes.
This room is full of people that I truely do despise,
But I have done them wrong as well, see myself through their eyes.
Its really hard to understand why I mess up so much,
But in this white walled room it gives me time to dwell on such.
And why I'm so pathetic i guess we will never know,
I know I'm stuck in here because the punches that I've thrown.
So anyone thats reading of the white walled room I'm in,
I'm sorry for what I've destroyed, including ex best friends.
The monster became a living, walking nightmare
my dive into insanity, no longer perfect, containing a blank stare
I should resist, the monster will find me, run away with me
Pretend to hear my meager complaints, force me to see what I'm afraid to see
Blame and guilt, volleying right and left, up and down
It's crashing me closer, with every step, I'm falling to the ground
It's all a game, just play along, play the game, play it well
Brimming confidence, dissolved in thoughts, of what? I won’t tell
Demons, devil born souls, run quick, run fast, stand my ground
No sense of fear, n sense of foreboding, not even a slight sound
High speed, pursuit of hell, bent on going, bent on crashing
Giving into the power, life's faster, lights flashing
Crash and torment me again, my eyes close after all
The beginning of the end for me, feeling numb after the fall
Is there a way out? I'm different, distant and moved on
Listen to the water, calling, coaxing into death, I'm gone
Endless, empty cloud; dreamless oblivion; oxygen, exhalation
Am I dead? Still alive? Broken into pieces, I need motivation
Reality closes in, walls me in; until there’s nothing there
Death comes behind me, containing a blank stare.
I’m Sorry, Lord
By Dane Smith-Johnsen
I’m Sorry. Oh, dear Lord, my God.
While imperfect on this earth I trod.
Forgive me, sins of omission.
As I live by will in submission.
One wrong choice after another,
Soon, I turned my head from a brother.
Then, focused mostly on myself.
Love: Thy example, put on the shelf.
I’m sorry, dearest, perfect God.
I failed to hold to Thy iron rod.
I made new friends; they seemed so dear.
Thy muddied teachings once crystal clear.
Temptation came to blinded eyes.
And I listened to the devil’s lies.
Rationalizing: next best friends.
Forgetting to know the wages: sins.
I’m sorry, Lord. Your love ignored.
I turned away from Thy care adored.
Forgive me for my youthful ways.
I forgot to love Thee day by day.
Now kneel I humbly at Thy throne.
Heal my heart. Understanding has grown.
Forgive me for forgetting, God.
I’m sorry for imperfections trod.
This poem was written for Christie Moses, I’m Sorry Contest.
Whenever he does something he says"I'm sorry for this or that.
He always says he sorry even when I say I'm fat.
He also says he's sorry even when he's gone.
Always sorry even if he doesn't mow the lawn.
I tell him"hey sorry didn't do it you did".
If I'm not the blame he'll blame it on the kid.
Don't put the blame on anyone else.
Your the one that done it you yourself.
Well every man says he's not to blame.
Remember for better or worse we carry his name.
Entered in Francine Roberts"Whatever you say dear"contest
Her skin white, drained
Her expression dark, pained
Eyes staring out, completely blank
Hair lifeless, dank
Her fingers curled, still
In her mouth, a cyanide pill
I'm saying sorry to all of you,
The sorrow is like an arrow piercing me through.
I never ment the stupid things I said,
I'll keep them in my heart 'till I'm dead.
I need to know so I can be free.
Will you forgive me?
I’m sorry if I couldn’t show you the way I really feel;
I’m sorry if I pretended that my nerves were made of steel.
I’m sorry if I appeared to be someone I’m really not;
And I understand if you want me to be someone you just Forgot.
I’d understand if you want to make me into someone you can’t recall;
I’m sorry that I couldn’t be at your every beck and call
I’m sorry that things didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to;
I just couldn’t bring myself to settle on some one like You.
I'm sorry I did the things I did.
I'm sorry I kept the secrets I hid.
I'm sorry for all the pain I cause you,
but everything I told you is too true.
The moments we shared
and proved that we cared
can never be forgotten,
like a beautiful house, rotten.
So, I beg you to forgive me.
bent down on a knee,
tears forming, head lowered to the ground,
because to you, forever, I am bound.
I desperately yearn for the eyes of deception to become unveiled,
It’s as if I have the money to get you out of jail on bail,
But you turn away in disbelief,
Not realizing you’re headed for eternal grief,
I have the script, the perfect medication,
To heal you from your symptoms of spiritual sedation,
Yet you tell me I am not a physician,
And that you don’t need to come into submission,
Then I see you poor and starving on a roadside,
With eyes filled with tears and a heart occupied with pride,
This time I offer you a blank check,
With skepticism you turn your rigid neck,
Never even looking to see if what I said was real,
Just festering in all your pain, hurt and fear,
I watch in sheer horror as you continue to feed your aches,
suddenly, In the blink of an eye, you realize you have made a horrific mistake.
BY: Sabina Nicole
Sitting in my room tonight
Wanting just to hold you tight
Wishing I could make things right
Guess I’ll just turn off the light
What did I do, what did I say
To make you want to turn away
Waiting for the light of a day
Baby, please come back to stay
I’m here in our bed without you
Hoping that you can’t sleep, too
Wish I knew just what to do
Does this mean that we’re through
After dawn, I hear the phone
Your voice has a different tone
You don’t like being on your own
You can’t take being all alone
The open door lets in the sun
Into my waiting arms you run
Both of us have come undone
Making up will be so much fun
Of all the friends that I’ve known and lost
I reckon at times life will collect its cost
Sometimes the thought makes me sad
As I start thinking of the dreams we had
I know who was right and who was wrong
I reckon it all plays out like a country song
Life of the party is how the song did start
But I reckon it ended with broken hearts
As the years pass by and the memories fade
I remember how we thought we had it made
If life was a bull we had it by the horns
Got the rose by scratching through the thorns
I loved you all more than words can say
I never meant to hurt anybody in any way
But most of my life that was my only curse
I tried to make it better as it just got worse
Just as the guitar player starts a new cord
I turned my life and will over to the Lord
I’m setting here wishing you all could see
The light of the Lord shinning bright in me
I reckon life is less than funny that way
There are some things we never get to say
Things that are forever etched in the heart
Pulling all of us further and further apart
The Lord has given me a wonderful wife
Together her and I share a beautiful life
As far as our children it is beautiful to see
We have formed a melting pot of a family
From two families broken totally apart
We all do cherish each other’s hearts
I wrote this poem in hopes that someday
You’ll read my words and feel what I say
And know in your hearts its words are true
Especially the ones, “I love all of you”
as I lie in this womb
for it's my heart you'll hear beat soon
da beat beat beat
and da tapping of tiny feet
was my mighty sword
words of disgrace
embedded in my taste
drug of ill fath
served on my plate
you have rather me died
than to hear my wimper and cries
I could of made you proud
instead of being wrapped in this tiny shroud
now I am someone else's angel
wearing a nice shinny golden halo
as my unspoken words goes out to you
I hope your next child won't have to go through this too
Tribute To The Unborn
Unspoken Words Contest
those little drips of word and water
that spill over but shouldn't oughter
gaffs and chaffs and blurbs that spot
sayer or sprayer marked insensitive clod
clothes spotted damp, pride marked too
antagonizing other camp, unable to redo
even royalty’s spoken without utmost decor
found themselves cast as party's gauche boar
try to interact without accidentally hurting
spoken acid sprayed by thoughtlessly blurting
the only thing to do to mend that situation
a heartfelt apology for unintended aberration
"please excuse my lapse of good propriety"
"I unfavorably spoke, not to seek notoriety"
"merely because I'm human and make mistakes"
"I ask for your pardon, whatever it takes"
"to seek your forgiveness for my intrusion"
"and say I'm truly sorry, in conclusion"
"yet you reader can't see these anomalies"
"...oops...I rest my case...My apologies"
© Goode Guy 2011-09-29
You say you are sorry and want one last chance.
Can't you see that I am so weary of this dance?
Did the divorce papers not give you the clue?
I no longer want to be married to you!
What makes you think I would stay?
I am no longer your prey.
Your word I do not have to obey
For I am finally having my say.
My love I once had for you is deeply buried,
As you are no longer the man that I married.
You did nothing but give me grief.
So now our marriage is one that is brief.
Do I have to tell you a lover I have taken?
That our wedding vows I have now forsaken?
Can I be that cruel?
To the fire add more fuel?
Break your heart and your trust?
I surely will if I must.
I just want to end this marriage bizarre,
I no longer want to hear how sorry you are.
I do not care making a living donning a dirty coverall
if it earns me more trips to the mall.
Whether it's newly minted or has changed hands many times,
a dime will still be worth a dime.
I am not impressed by people owning university degrees
because hey, I, not them, am the one making hay.
I do not mind if they get a thrill out of their academic rank
for I am the one laughing all the way to the bank!
Intellectual superiority? snobbery really and vastly overrated!
if it leads not to financial security it is all in their head.
Listen, I have met too many folks armed with some fancy PhD
who hold lousy, nine-to-five jobs that do not pay.
They find themselves regularly appearing on prime time TV
that, funny, does not make them any richer than me!
Like peacocks strutting as if life revolves around the academe,
they forget their monetary situation is shaky and dim.
What they see as power is nothing but worthless paper pushing,
no ifs and buts, one's worth is gauged through his earnings.
Eggheads, they sure know every answer to all kinds of crisis
except the true state of their sorry personal finances!
At the end of the day life is, yeah, truly all about money,
if you ain't got it, I am so sorry for you, baby.
Power lives in this hardworking, flesh-and-blood workingman,
not the head-in-the-clouds moron badly in need of a tan!
I do not care making a living donning a dirty coverall
if it earns me more trips to the mall.
What he is, to me as a child
He held me close when all was wild
He gathered my heart, when it was broken down
I knew he would be there, just always around
The tears that were cried never went to far
For he saw the pain and healed the very scar
The life behind this wonder of love
Can be loved apon from the One above
Take for granted not his kind hearted ways
He tells me this time, Its Just One of Those Days
I truely believe he loves me and my messed up life
But I know in my heart, on day, I will be his wife
Married by body, and bounded by soul
It was each others own heart, that made us whole
A whole in our ways, and a whole in our minds
Our love is so very rare, there are not many kinds
He once was a bad child, and killed all aspects to life
But deep inside all of that hatrid and anger, he was sharp as a knife
He gathered the peices, that were once my broken heart
And began mending them back together, so our loving could once
Like the waning of the moon
The ethereal visage will vanish soon
Given mere moments to reconcile
To clear his name and make her smile
For when he died the truth died too
But from beneath the earth what could he do
She had recoiled realizing he was a cheat
What a web of lies wove he, what deceit
He knew he didn’t have long
To prove to her that he did no wrong
He crept quietly and opened the door
To find his beloved strewn upon the floor
Given a strange feeling she lifted her head
Only to see the face of a man she knew dead
“Why have you come to haunt me?” said she
“Leave me alone go away let me be.”
“Liza listen what you know is not right
Listen for a moment then I’ll be out of sight”
After hearing his tale there grew a smile and in her eyes gleamed a spark
His duty now fulfilled he then vanished into the dark
Floodgates flow with poets pain
reading them is such a strain
it makes one want to find a cure
how much can their hearts endure?
yet to know they have a place
to say it all and bare their face
if they but knew how much God cares
they'd speak their poems in their prayers.
out to touch
the last time I saw you,
the tip of my mind,
rolls the memory around,
your face in the morning,
and night there beside you,
the letters spill out
in a tumble of sound.
words resting lightly
like gossamer wings
hiding their stings....
"I love you,
and I always will
but something inside you
drains till you kill,
every new feeling
and tightens my throat
sucking the breath
from the songs
that we wrote.
I have to return to my feet
on the ground
I'm leaving my wings
for they're faded and brown.
just go back to sleep ...
I'm so sorry I woke you
I thought I 'd inspire you,
I meant to invoke you,
to love and fine works,
but you drank down my soul
I'll come back to find you when
I have grown old."
By: Kelvalyn Arbizu
Feelings of insanity breach through my core
The path I travel is wearisome, I feel I need much more.
You left my world so dismal but I couldn’t be weak and cry.
You used me and abused me and I don’t know the reason why.
The poster child for deception, the perfect paradigm.
I thought you really loved me but now I see that was a whim.
And while I was lost inside your deceit, I forgot just who I was.
My only desire was your attention because I was in love.
All I had was love and I gave my soul to you
But now all I’m left with is depression inside my spirit through and through.
And it hurts to think back, when I took time in vain.
Before my heart stopped beating, before I felt this pain.
You are Constant torture in my mind, a bullet to my soul.
Because You entered me completely and overtook control.
You shattered my identity and it only took one second.
Because I would do anything just to gain your affection.
Not knowing what to do, I walk day by day.
I don’t know where I’m going so, I just carve my way.
And Try to find a fantasy in a unknown reality.
I’m Running steadfast to a make-believe without calamity.
Obstacles embed me, leaving their dirty marks.
And I feel that I have been defeated by your deadly art.
I’ve witnessed this catastrophe first hand; my very soul decaying…
To think, I loved you fully and dreamed of always staying.
I now hold resentment and it’s all because of you.
All men are dogs, and you are walking, living proof.
Faithful until the end…yet the end arose so quick.
I feel my poor heart bleeding and it started with a prick.
All I ever wanted was your love, was that so hard to ask.
Was is too hard for you? Was it a difficult task?
And if it was why did you stay and not just say goodbye.
You said you loved and cared for me.
And they were all just lies.
Tremendously guarded, with mask and malaise
steel tipped and smiling through cloud lugging days
Hundreds of frozen dreams melt on your back
to be slipped on when least on your guard
Blessedly smart, so they've said once or twice
Always so gentle and saccharine nice
If they only knew the exposure within
They'd burn like a fire's obsession for air
We'll find you at night washing white down the drain
from the grease paint you don when your face is in pain
We watch through the window as you sink to your knees
in the pool of a million lost star dust decrees
The sad reality of me is that I’m dead.
And its so extremely hard for me to live inside my head. .
You can never understand an addict so don’t pretend to try
This is me. I’ve always had it, the compulsion to get high.
Well maybe I am unworthy of a better life
Maybe I would rather let myself believe the lie
Or maybe I just sold my soul, Cause I had better things to buy
Monotony is more miserable than coming down, you see
Higher highs make lower lows, and that’s okay with me
I’d rather feel pain than nothing, rather make words rhyme
Always the same sad ending, but It hurts so good sometimes
Dark poetry implies a negativity in poets
But there is beauty in despair, freedom for those who show it.
Pleasure coming out of pain; its no concept that we haven’t heard
I like to cut my self in vain, regret the scars, but never learn
“God Help me,” I try to repent, but my desires make me sway
I let him down again, and now reluctant to attempt to pray.
I’m so tired and you have to know that I have put my all in this
I can’t acquire strength enough, to rise above my selfishness.
I seek you out Lord, crying, my candle’s flame is growing dim
The fire deep inside has died; I have no choice but to give in.
Blow it out as if to say, there is no hope for me
Effortless to stop you I’m afraid that dope will steal my dreams
The sad reality of me is that I’m dead.
But when I become aware of this I drown myself in drugs again.