I just found out two poodles that I bought
were ferrets! Ay caramba! And guess what?
To make each one resemble less a rat,
they gave them steroids, making them both fat!
They also fluffed their pretty fur just so
around their heads. So how was I to know?
Each one looked so much like a toy poodle
they had me fooled - whole kit and caboodle!
Our veterinarian has verified
the facts for me. Those poodle dealers lied.
And folks now say I should have realized
the truth, which stared at me with beady eyes!
Those ferrets sure run fast; I think I’ll buy
two tiny leashes, or else I could try. . .
to sucker someone stupider than me.
Hey, buy one poodle; get the other free!
(to see the recent news article my poem is based on
and to view the "toy poodles" just copy and paste
this link. Tell me what YOU think?
My son called me at work to let me know
Murphy was ill, he didn’t have long to go
Then he called again later in the day
To let me know Murphy had passed away
Tears flowed freely in the afternoon
Guess I never believed he would die so soon
This dog brought joy wherever he went
Unconditional love, a life well spent
Sometimes I look at his picture and smile
Sometimes, alone, I cry for a while
I knew it would hurt when he had to depart
But I can’t understand how it ripped out my heart
Friend stopped me and asked “What’s going on?”
In a barely audible whisper I said “Murphy’s Gone.”
Dedicated to Murphy, my son’s Chihuahua
Who died on May 21, 2010
Oh, finely feathered fellow
with plumage of green and yellow,
your Houdini-esque abilities
and astounding circus-like agilities
make my flabby jowls drop with surprise
at how easily your hooked beak can prise
any dwarf-sized opening in your cage,
to open so easily, under your gauge.
Your stuffed, fat, feathered body can
fit through anything. Yes, I'm a fan.
Your squeaky, squawky, shrill talking
lets me know my efforts you're mocking
as I try to burglar proof your cage
as you shriek at me in indignant rage.
You really should hope that I succeed
because if I don't, the cat you'll feed.
~~~ for Suzanne's Synathroesmic Cat contest ~~~
Cindy the tricolored cat 'pon my soft lap sat
Just a gentle touch turns her purr on and sharp claws dig fast
A ferocious distant barking heard as it comes near
Cindy the tricolored cat sharp claws dig in scaring fear
Cindy cools her furry body by lying down
'Pon damp leaves cool from the moist earth ears perked listens for sounds
Constant, careful, considering every small move
The hunter feels hunted but always ready to improve
Sponsor: Suzanne Delaney
Contest: The Synathroesmic Cat Contest'
A form of polter's measure rhyming couples with 12/14 syllable count
Place your hand upon my coat,
Watch me shiver so,
Pure ecstasy with you I feel,
Through my eyes I touch your soul.
For ill be there at your waking,
My tail, wagging to and fro.
In the evening bring you comfort,
When the days, stress has took its toll.
Can there be a friend so loyal,
Who will be there when you call?
In this ever changing world,
Some things never change at all.
[I wrote this one when I was a school boy - it's my stab at the shortest poem in the world ever]
My Callie was a queen, chocolate with caramel swirled.
The inside of our house was all of her little world.
With her tummy feeling empty, she’d come by dawn’s first light,
and delicately creep on small feet like socks of white.
She’d get up very close to me, to summon me from bed
If I were slow to feed her, her white paws would bat my head!
Written by Andrea Dietrich
Tribute for out calico, who died from cancer at age 18 several years ago.
For the Contest of Constance La France ~ A Rambling Poet ~
Six Lines of Poetry, Please
< Coco was his name
Spider monkey all the same
Dad worked for zoo
Feeder of Coco too
Brought the little guy home
Boy did Coco love to rome
Droppings here and there
Mom covered up his dairy - air
Shoulders he did seek
Knocking younger ones off their feet
Bananas and salted nuts
Made Coco dance and strut
Each day a animal of new
Dad brought home from the zoo
But the one I'll remember the most
Was coco who shared my daily toast
Como Park Zoo
St Paul Minnesota
Coco And Daddy
Can You Imagine
A Monkey Playing
With 10 Kids LOL
< Dam Dog !
What a hog !
Ate Cousins Dope !
And Started To Choke !
Starry Eyes !
Wobbly Thighs !
To Vet !
250 Dollars I Bet !
More Test !
They Suggest !
Hell No !
Let's See How It Goes !
Just Needs Sleep !
And Plenty Of Water The Little Creep !
Pet Sit Panic's Contest
NO ONE KNEW OTIS
(New story about Otis)
There's a window over there
And a man sits in an easy chair
Warmth radiates from the comfortable scene
But outside there's s snow storm quite mean
Ice hangs in patches from branches and fences
Against such weather there are no defenses
But on close inspection one would notice
Under the man's window a small dog
Not allowed in the warm house the man has a
rule about that
Why would a man do such a thing to a pet
Otis, quite a small dog to meet a cruel end
Expired from cold but dog house sign did amend
"OTIS - MAN'S BEST FRIEND"
Two little bunnies hopped on the Ark
They got up to mischief after dark
It wasn't long more bunnies came along
They all sang the hippy hop song
We like to make love we're not about war
If the ships rocking don't open the door
After forty days and forty nights
So many bunnies it just wasn't right
Noah decided he must segregate
Their appetites he could not satiate
When they got hungry they ate bunny stew
By the time they landed there were just two
Noah's Ark Contest
Talk about your unconditional love.
These furball babies were sent from above.
When I come home they greet me at the door.
Then run and tag each other 'cross the floor!
I love to watch them on their window perch.
With wide-eyed wonder on a squirrel search.
Or watching birdies fly past their domain.
On sharp alert they listen to the rain.
Such comfort I get when I'm sick or sad.
When they climb in my lap I can't feel bad.
For special treats they get some kitty nip.
I roar with laughter as I watch them flip!
Just can't imagine life without these two.
That they enrich my world's so very true!
Written by Deb Wilson -November 2nd 2011
*for contest"Write Me A Happy Poem"
sponsored by Francine Roberts
LITTLE LAD AND BIG DOG
Little lad and big dog I saw
What a pair walking in the meadow
Excitement shows on their faces
As they ran in every places
Best friend forever never be apart
Loyalty and love keeps in their heart
Little lad take care of this fine beauty
A big dog is jumping and very happy
A perfect pair to see and to behold
Welcome to their own colorful world
June 21, 2013
For Seren’s “Little Lad and Big Dog” Contest
My cat is a lady. How delicately she creeps along the bed
Until, softly purring, she settles on my head!
Written by Andrea Dietrich
For David Williams'
Twenty / Twenty Poetry Contest
< my little girl came to me and asked for a pet
to me my heart just hasn't been quite set
but who could resist those baby brown eyes
and all those little wimpers and desirable sighs
so off we went in our broken down wagon
where the rear end you could tell was sagging
to petland is where we went
pocketbook really took a dent
odie and garfield was their chosen names
two bunny hampsters very different but the same
oh my little girl was not yet done
said mama we need hampster ball so they can have alot of fun
and don't forget their bedding liners
so their living will be much finer
but first you must buy them their cage
oh my little girl is quite smart for her age
she knows they like fruit and snacks
so she doubled order with ten sacks
ring ring ring ding ding ding
did it's cash register ever so did sing
eighty five fifty
well ain't that nifty
handed lady one hundred
mumbling under breath was said
left store in a hurry
with our clothes looking so dam fury
Written By Katherine Stella 7/3/11
Entry For Francine Robert's
Pick A Pet Contest
Early one morning my Hubby was sleepily shuffling around and about.
Dawn was almost breaking and we were becoming late no doubt.
Toiletries were a waiting, as he shuffled near the morning throne.
Opening the lid, you’ll never guess what exited as a rocket blown.
EEEWWW …Poor little thing… Oh Who, you will never guess…
Out popped a little tree frog jumping at mach 2 in his quest…
Yes, he was wet and doing his very best as he stuck to the vanity.
For who can say how long he’d been trapped in there, you see?
It puzzled me to wonder… How he’d got to the second floor?
Poor little guy… I doubt he could have withstood very much more.
Now here we were to scare him… Yes, another time, I confide…
We had to get him past 3 dogs awaiting for food and to go outside.
It wouldn’t have been so bad if 3 squirrels weren’t watching from the tree.
None might have been so eager, if they’d known he came from our potty.
My jammied hubby ran for the mulch pile where sticks and leaves abound…
As I entertained the squirrels and doggies with tempting morsels all around.
Now I can’t say it was traumatic to save a little wayward froggy…
But I won’t be opening that lid without a light, especially, if I am groggy.
And I’ll move back out of range as I lift the lid… I thank you all the same.
And next time I won’t forget to clean the toilet in a timely way, to my shame.
And I won’t ask my hubby to wash his hands 10 times daily… come next May.
Now I know you may not believe me… but I'll take an oath on this… I say.
My animals are like family to me, not just a pet.
My cat is in labor, and she's having issues, so all I can do is fret.
The emergency Vet wants four hundred and fifty dollars!
I don't have it, so she's denied and all I can do is holler.
So what am I supposed to let her sit here and die?
It makes me want to go stab that jerk in his eye!
You should be a Vet because you love animals, not money.
What's a cat's life to them? I don't think its a damn bit funny.
I mean the economy is low and I'm not asking to do it for free.
Just to let me make payments, how hard can that really be?
Cruel-hearted, greedy people that are ruthless and hollow.
You can bet karma will most definitely linger and follow.
Some people just don't understand, she isn't a cat, she's my baby.
There is a chance she will live, and I hate living on the whim of a "maybe".
What choice do I have? I'll take her to her normal vet tomorrow morning.
If my "daughter' dies, that emergency Vet will need some serious warning.
She's a beautiful feline, with soft fur, half white. half black and stunning.
With God's luck, she'll finish labor and her children will be coming!
A gift from a stranger, his name is Reefer;
we know right away that he's a keeper.
We re-name him Rugby so as not to confuse;
his condition suggests that he's been abused.
Anticipating a squabble, we bring in the cat;
he sprawls and yawns, refused to combat.
He never barks, he doesn't bite or growl;
until the cat decides to eat from his bowl.
Rugby walks behind her, emits one deep Woof;
Tricia jumps straight up, leaves with no reproof.
They co-exist peacefully, eat with never a tiff;
they need no policing, if you catch my drift.
These rustling humans, how they jabber!
With their smudged and crinkling ink dabber
I lie here resting while their investing
Their moments in this blabbered pestering
I've seen their pages scribbled in rages
Of inspiration by their sages
I hear the parchment, crisp and crackling,
Depicting marks pronounced in cackling
And wheezes of a breezes sighs
Read in secret by her eyes
Here in this secluded corner
This one was sent by a foreigner
The rounded man, all clad in fur,
Hears some code, it makes him stir
The thinner man sprouts in his chair
Which creeks beneath his squirming dare
The glamour creature, thin and frail,
Seems neutral about the true tale
I hear a fist pound on the table
Shouting that this could be a fable
"What if it's true?", the other asks
While in fascination he basks
They analyze it for a clue,
This letter, to learn if it's true
The chamber, while closed, is secret, airy
While echo's this secretary
The scribbled riddles held in hand
Are esteemed to be so grand
I might chew them if I could
For I bask in my puppy-hood
The family dog is a yin yang
Two faced in black and white
Lives his life on a log chain
Likes to play with his bite
Pearly, ivory, toothy fangs
Partial faced in the moonlight
His Pyrenean bark is like a big bang
His bark is worse than his bite
~ Leonard Napierskie
On new years eve you came to me
in a little cage as cute as could be
so happy and full of life you were
with a little pink nose and soft brown fur
everyday in your cage you would run on the ground
or inside your ball you would spin round and round
making everyone laugh with your soft little squeak
in my palm you would sleep looking so sweet
but on christmas eve when you closed your eyes
while laying in my hand you did not wake to my cries
you stayed very still as if just in sleep
I pulled you to my chest and started to weep
In my mind swam pictures of what we had done
that one year of your life had been full of much fun
that's when my mom came in and saw you there
my dad took you from me with the greatest of care
I wanted to bury you out in the lawn
but my dad said no and then you were gone
Goodbye wiskers your story may end
but I will still count you my very best friend
Welcome to my house on the beach,
Where there are condos for $5 each
I, for one, am an interesting figure,
With my siamese fish who likes to paint pictures
And my single daughter Rosie,
Who's immune to posie
This place is somewhere with two sides,
You live your life first, and after you die.
I died at thirty-eight
From tripping down stairs just after I ate
Welcome to my house on the beach,
Come on inside and we can enjoy a peach!
Hair Of The Dog
As my Precious sits on my desk,
shedding and watching with interest.
I take a drink from my cup.
A hair sticks to my tongue..eew yuk.
She is pleased with herself and wags,
her tail, hair flies off like flags.
They are small, black and everywhere.
Making patterns on all of the chairs.
Little drifting smiles of hair,
residing on my clothes without care.
This much hair from a small Chihuahua,
it's not possible, no not at all.
It's not as if she's going bald.
But then, Kojack, she could be called.
Oh look! You have some hair that she's shared.
I'll take care of that, you wait right there.
I'll just run and get my trusty lint roller.
Better yet! I'll get my leaf blower.
For the Doggone Dog Contest
Hostess: Andrea Dietrich
They romp around the house and play
Just watching them can make my day
Each one is such a little clown
Wrestling each other down
Relaxing like a "dead cockroach"
Tag my foot as I approach
When they're hungry pounce the bed
So tickled when they do get fed
They sleep all day and play all night
And love each other,never fight
They comfort me without a sound
Come and wrap themselves around
All they ask for is my care
When I need love they're always there
Some people never want a pet
But they would love these two I'll bet!
These kitties are my pride and joy
My little girl and fluffy boy
They make my heart sing every day
Would I live without them-there's no way!
* for zippedy doo dah! contest
A Cute Pup Named Wylie
Bought my beautiful wife a cute pup
After Christ had cleaned our lives all up
Now, when pup, we will look at him,
He barks, Christ keeps things proper and prim.
From the very first time our pup was bought
Christ in our eyes could always be caught
And kind of in a strange, round about way
We loved him more even if sky was gray.
Each time to everybody when pup started to bark
Who loved him just like Our Lord found in a lark
And when with us we took him to church one day
In back room, with Christ and children started to play.
It never made no matter where we may go
In our pup, we could see Christ grow and grow
And even when we took our pup out to eat
Felt Christ's spirit there who we would meet and greet.
Even when pup in bushes would take a pause;
We were refreshed by pup and Christ because
He had died on cross for both you and me;
Now the picture was clear and so plain to see.
Our pup was a cross between Christ and God
Who we will laud and know they're no fraud;
Pup always grew old but he still was pleasing;
Died, and back to Father and Son we are releasing.
If you go through her pain why give her pain?
If you love her why are your efforts all in vain?
You love her then kill her half way
You promise to never hurt her but you do the next day
You say you never lie
But you do why?
Beautiful green eyes and so much charm.
Never will I let you come to harm.
Love like this is rare and dignified.
I'm so glad you're with me on this ride!
Like children you go romping on the bed.
Seems you understand each word that's said.
Devotion pure and simple's what you give.
My sweetest pets you teach me how to live!
When I need comfort you are always there.
Little characters have so much to share!
Unconditional love and joy you bring.
To have you in my life makes my heart sing!
Tiny was my first pet and the very same age as I.
With no concept then of life or death, I had no thought she’d die.
A shorthaired, fox terrier dog, with black spots on coat of white,
she was with me when I learned to walk and stayed with me day and night.
Her breed was bred for ground hunting, all badgers need beware.
She’d dig her way into their dens and trap them in their lair.
I didn’t want her hunting them, but she would disobey.
Daddy told me not to blame her, it was just her terrier way.
She would wait for me so patiently when I spent my time in school,
and greet me with a furious wag, so happy she would drool.
And so it went for thirteen years. She was my little pal.
She loved all of the family, but I was her special gal.
She became deaf in her old age, although I didn’t know it.
She was so good at reading minds, she truly didn’t show it.
One day she wandered on the road and didn’t hear the car
that in younger years she would have heard when coming from afar.
I missed my special little friend, and long and hard I cried.
That I'd lost a part of my young life, simply could not be denied.
We buried her there on the old farm where in life she liked to roam
and every badger thereabouts was safer in his home.
Since then I have had many dogs and though I loved the rest,
since Tiny was my very first, perhaps I loved her best.
Purr, Fur, Feline
pillow poaching friend of mine
milk licking, whisker flicking
put your padded paw in mine
Tell me that you pinky swear
to come back home from everywhere
that you go so late at night
to run and play and prowl and fight
I see you run off down the alley
to meet your scruffy pal O'Malley
I know you lead a double life
with seven children and a wife
But I let you in at six o'clock
and when I leave I turn the lock
cause I just want to keep the part
that I have of a Tom Cat's heart.