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Ballad Sad Poems | Ballad Poems About Sad

These Ballad Sad poems are examples of Ballad poems about Sad. These are the best examples of Ballad Sad poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Ballad | |

The Ballad of the Poet

*The Dead Poet*

Many blocks along the road, 
Kicking down walls of heavy stones, 
Yet no one could draw through the walls of her lonely bones.
A poet who could not write what's inside. 
Her pen had gone ink dry. 
Her beady eyes lost the feel of an angelic realm.
She tried! 
She tried, until she could no longer cry!
A poet who stuttered with the mind and out came no words.
This poet hangs on a mount with a picture that tells a sad tale.
A poem that broke verses in a Carpe diem dream.
She ruffled her arms once more, as if she could fly.
Still nothing, 
Everything felt dead inside. 

Trap in a mental state that clots the willing vein.
Isolating her form in a room with no door.
She strays this away from the feel of the marvel pen.
To never go back, and feel again.

In the most ominous way,
She lets out a cry, 
A cry, never heard before. 
Running from this evil, that stain her world. 
 
Words buried deep and behind a new exterior box, 
Her insides gasp all the air of airs once alive. 
A talon drop into the next,
This troublesome poet gave up on everything. 
Had nothing left, but the empty space within. 

Next!
She curls herself into a fetal world.
At last, she closes her eyes, to feel no more.
A poet who died the day, joy wiped the glee from her face.

by;PD


Details | Ballad | |

This Song is for my Mother

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
I couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
A song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created and cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Memory of a mother
Shared my dreams and really cared

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Mama…
I know I wasn’t there……

For you

Would have placed 
A magic carpet 
‘neath your weak and shaky legs

Would have raised
A strong west wind
Let you breathe with ease again

Would have bribed 
God’s venal angels
Come and soothe your endless pain

Would have vanquished
All the demons
And bring peace to you again

Be the child
I never knew
In a land
We won’t grow old

Be the light
I always loved
Warmed my dark 
And lonely soul

Be the girl
Playing games
In a world 
The sun won’t set

Be the laughter
Calms my heart
I never will forget
I won’t forget, won’t forget

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
Couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
Song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created….cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

I broke my promises, oh mama
Now you’ve gone away 
I’m broken
Drowning in the pain each day

I’m  drowning…drowning...drowning…drowning

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me…….



Details | Ballad | |

Bobby

 This one is totally fictional.

Don't cry little guy just 'cause you're moving away
Your daddy's got a brand new job out in Santa Fe
He's trying to make a better life for your mom and you
So, how about holding back those tears
Yes, I'm crying too
So I said goodbye to Bobby like I knew I had to do
But Some things that I told him
Weren't exactly true
I wish I could have told him to stay
If that's where he'd really like to be
I wish I could have told him the truth
About his mom and me
So, I said goodbye
And tried not to cry
And told him to have fun
I wish I could have said to him
Bobby, you're my only son.


Details | Ballad | |

Signing Off

--Goodbye--To my Addiction-

The time has come to part,
I will leave many with broken hearts
If one day you call on me,
I'm sad to say I will hold my tongue missing each one relentlessly 
I'm not doing this for me; I am doing this for you
I could stay here and win, and not give in 
But, this soup bowl comes with demons and nasty shadows
Demons and nasty shadows, taking and crashing my light
Demons I had to fight off the entire time I was here
Shadows hating the way I welcomed every poet with a happy cheer
Demons and shadows whom drown in their selfish everyday pity.

For those smiling on my departure, 
I want you to have this wonderful gift 
So please copy paste this moment from the bottom of my heart
**I hope this gift brings you laughter, knowing 
I've been sad, these past few days, drying up my final soup tears**

I will miss this part of what makes me ME -my love and lust for poetry.
I agree with many I should never surrender to the envy of demonic dust
Giving up the passion that completed a part of my soul for years
But, the reality of life, is the life's I give and given when I make love happen
In my heart I know it's time to give myself back to reality
SO AT THE END I WIN, I'm the one who ends up with an everlasting smile
I'll finally be free from this place, where most treated me unfair & unkind
Free, from the negativity of the few who hide behind a dishonest disguise?

Wait until you notice your soup bowl's going stale
You will miss me, and I will miss you
But, my enemy will miss me even more
Reminiscing the times we spent hogging up 70% of blogs,
Arguing and fighting over not agreeing with many thoughts.
But, it was never the differences of opinions, it was more like---
Let's slay the Destroyer, a name like that should never be on top
So please know I am sad, and this is not the way I want to go
I'm not leaving you because I want to 
I'm leaving you because, the rumors are 
"The soup is better without the sweetness of the poet destroyer."
The only big thing about me -was my heart not my ego 
I never claimed to be the best; 
You're the one who claimed I am good enough
You took me in and returned my love
In ways others could and would not accept.
And for you my loving poet friends, and fans
I will walk away with my dignity/integrity; 
I can CARELESS IF I PLACE OR DON'T PLACE IN YOUR CONTEST
I guess I'm finally growing up 
In becoming the bigger/better poet.

Signing Off ---Love 
The Poet Destroyer


Details | Ballad | |

Disturbed Child

That disturbed child
The teen girl with no friends, 
and is rejected by her loved ones
She feels broken inside,
like theres no other choice
She takes the iron razor, 
she puts it to her arm and hopes the pain will fade,
but in the end it only makes her feel worse
She does this to herself not because she is sad, 
but because she doesn't think any one cares
She thinks 
What if I put this razor to my throat,
and ended my life
Would they care then?
She feels like no one cares 
What she doesn't realize is, 
if she died a river of tears would come,
even faster then the blood would run from her
If she only knew life can be brighter 
If she would only see, 
that she is loved
That disturbed child, 
We miss her
and theres no getting her back
What could we have done
Was there any changing her mind
Only God knows


Details | Ballad | |

To My "Layla"

Where is that woman
I so loved so long ago?
And for reasons unfathomed
I love as much still

Beauty beyond compare
to me
Simple in thought
But complex in love

Years of remorse
have run their course
They have worn me down
I admit, I deserve no more
For as i guess oft happens
A fool will hurt himself

Where is she now? I wonder
Does she sleep alone like me?
Or next to someone
She wishes is elsewhere

Or, if blessed with luck-
Entwined in the arms
Of one she so loves

Oh, if it could be me
Foolish me...
Unable to endure
A love so intense
I felt I was losing
my identity
I found this powerful
love, this passion,
almost an obsession
Too scary to deal with

So I walked-
and 35 years later
so much
would love to
retrace my steps...
leading to her...

At least to know
how her life has unfolded
Not to rekindle
Love's embers
I'm not the same
as I was then

Worn down by years
Of abuse and pain
Yet every day
I think of her again

The apple of my eye
Layla incarnate

Once bodies entwined
Sweetest hours of my life

I'm a fool
So much a fool
Regret is my daily meal
Fools deserve no more 

For many years gone by,
And many years to come
I will regret...
The acts of this fool."






Details | Ballad | |

My Hurt to Bear

I told you my innermost thoughts 
But you never gave them a thought.
I shared my dreams with you
But you never paid any heed.

I gave you all the love I had in me
But you failed to give it back.
I cared for you utterly & completely
But the truth was you never cared at all.

I was a fool to have given you my time
When all you did was waste my time.
I should have let you go much before
Than to have kept you close to hurt me. 

I let you in though I was apprehensive
The mistake I should have never made.
I let you make me feel good about myself
When all you did was to tear me further.

I let you lie to me for all that you said 
When I should have refused every bit of it.
I know now what a colossal blunder I made 
To let you take a piece of me & throw it away.


Details | Ballad | |

Unanswered Poems

Don’t send me more 
Of your tragic poems
My dear 
Covered in blood
Of your monthly flood
Of tears

Don’t send me more 
Of your angry poems
My dear
Carved with the knife
Of your molten spite
And fears

I’m just a peddler 
With a cart
Bringing discount words
To hearts
Broken hearts across the land
Woman left without her man
Broken hearts throughout the world
Anguished boy and crying girl

Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to read, for me to bear
Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to get from here to there

Don’t send me more
Of your bitter poems
My sweet
Forged in the fire
Of your endless ire
And grief

Don’t send me more 
Of your hopeless poems
My sweet
Ripped from the womb
Of the lonely room
You keep

I’m just a peddler 
With a cart
Bringing discount words
To hearts
Broken hearts across the land
Woman left without her man
Broken hearts throughout the world
Anguished boy and crying girl

Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to read, for me to bear
Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to get from here to there

(You see that shadow on the road
Trudging ‘neath its heavy load
A heart weighed down by sands of time
And your poems only make him cry
And he won’t add them to the pile
So he can walk another mile)

(And he won’t add them
To the pile
So he can walk 
Another mile)

Too heavy, dear 
Too heavy, dear
For me to read 
For me to bear

(They make him sad
Make him cry
Beat him down
Deep inside)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear

They make me sad
Make me cry
Feel as though 
I want to die

(And he won’t add them
To the pile
So he can walk 
Another mile)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear

(A heart weighed down 
By sands of time
And your poems 
Only make him cry)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear



Details | Ballad | |

The Perfect Storm

She tried to drown out the noise
of all their mocking laughter.
Booming thunder shook the world
and lightening came quickly after.

She watched the storm above her head
with sadness in her eyes.
The pain had come again like rain
falling from the skies.

Dark gray clouds formed overhead
with no sunlight to come through.
The glowing rays were scattered away
and never got to you.

But no one came to rescue her,
there was nothing left but rain.
Even though the storm subsided;
she drowned in all her pain.


Details | Ballad | |

Silent House

The house stands mute, broken by years...
Windows stare through jagged glass.
Empty as the eyes of death.
Silent void...echoing joy..patient tears,
reach out in memory each time I pass
the gaping door which has no breath.
 
A rusted lamp-post leans toward Earth...
listening for approaching sound,
to light the darkness once more.
Quiet hush...resounding mirth,
touch my step upon the ground,
and beckon me in, to the shattered house.
 
Crushed boards once held dancing feet...
laughter clings to crumbled stones,
and tears strain the silent rooms.
Scattered remnants of life replete,
lie still as whitened desert bones,
and words spoken...here entombed.
 
I gaze upon torn and tattered walls...
Time pauses, and whispers soft to me
of life blossomed rich in moments gone.
Of a woman whose memory recalls
the beauty of love...and eternity...
mirrored in a rose upon the lawn.
 
House so sad, your youth abounds,
neath fallen grace, and buried sounds.
I hear your song in distant night,
and stand before your silent sight.
 


Details | Ballad | |

Memories

Thinking back on you and I
It doesn’t seem that long
It’s hard for me believing how
The years have come and gone
Everything about you still
So fresh inside my mind
Precious memories locked away
But never left behind
I shared with you my daytimes
But my nights I spent alone
It tore my heart to know your nights
Were not spent on your own
I knew the risks involved
Because you wore a wedding ring
But I never knew the pain for me
That wedding band would bring
For years my heart was frozen
From a love that it once knew
But I knew my heart had melted
When I fell in love with you
With you and I together
So many things were shared
But most importantly
I never said how much I cared
I tried to hide this love from you
Afraid to let you see
Not knowing of the child we’d made
Growing inside of me
I knew I’d never be with you
I never could have stayed, because
We took away this tiny life
That you and I had made
There’s nothing else you could have done
On you I lay no blame
But now my life feels empty
Full of sadness, loss and shame
I would give my all to spend
Another night with you
For you to hold me in your arms
And say you love me too
But if this never happens
Then I want to tell you still
I loved you then, I love you now
I know I always will...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Ballad | |

I Cry

I lay awake all through the night
While others lay asleep
As I think of you and I 
The tears roll down my cheek

I cry because I love you
I cry because I care
But most of all the reason why I cry
Is you're not there

My heart is torn and bleeding
A wound I cannot heal
And in my eyes you see you the hurt
And pain I can’t conceal

I wonder if you think of me
When you are all alone
I wonder if you miss the nights of passion 
We have known

I wonder if the smile you wear
Is just a fake disguise
I wonder if it's me you're seeing
When you close your eyes

You never will be mine again 
But still I won't regret
And pray you will remember
What I never will forget...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Ballad | |

She Cried

       She cried, She died inside over and over again, She was trapped in herself 
and she had no way of escaping. Taking drugs to dull the mud that's been in her 
eyes 
for years. She's so far away from reality that it's like she is constantly 
sleeping. 
She has to remind herself what's fictional and what's fact because the 
hallucinations wouldn’t  let her breath, they’d lie to her every chance she gets. 
Turning her mom into a monster not butterflies suddenly this high becomes a 
nightmare. One she had been fighting for so long, 16 and still traveling the same 
rode as so many younger than her. She didn't listen to all the voices that tried to 
tell her what she was missing because truly reality is the thing that makes life 
worth living. To her reality was the guy who had raped her constantly when she was 
young, Why choose reality when you could live in a dream world where everything had 
excuses. Not only could she not recognize the girl who cried constantly in the 
mirror but she'd done so many things to herself that even her eyes were a different 
color. 
It hurt so bad not to remember so she continued to fade until soon it seemed 
better. 
In an idiotical world where there were always smiles, It wasn't until she got help 
that she realized the real world was never always pleasant. It was filled with hate 
and lies and pain but that's something real and something she needed to face. 
Something she needed to open her eyes to, life would never be cake and she couldn't 
have her victory without tasting poison at least once. So when the tears dried and 
the wounds healed she signed up for a special thing a thing called GED and she got 
it.


Details | Ballad | |

The girl

See the girl living on the streets? does anyone know she is there,
Do you see that girl down in the dumps? and does anyone care.
We don't know the reason that she left her home and do any of us want to know?
She's out in all weathers without any covers in rain, hail and snow.
Does anyone wonder if she's ever lonely when we're all tucked up in our beds,
when she's wet and cold,  and we're warm and cosy does it ever enter our heads.
She might have been beaten when her home she left, she's sad and she's lonely and often bereft. 


Does anyone see me alone on the streets? trying to smile at all that I meet,
asking for pennies for a warm cup of tea, we're not all on drugs, at least not me.
I'm trying to avoid going down that road I try to remember the things I've been told.
Stories of people lying in the gutter, and people passing by all of a mutter.
Do they care, what they see there? I suppose they think it's everywhere !
But I would like to say to all of you . I don't take drugs, I'm one of the few.
So to all of you sat home by your fires, spare a thought for me,
when you pass me by tomorrow, I'd love a cup of tea.


Details | Ballad | |

Violet

In London, away in a terrace
Half-hidden with elm trees and grime,
Lived young Violet, in her parents' house,
Left alone for near all of the time,

As her mother had no patience to teach her
And her father was working all day,
Violet read to herself through her childhood
Forgetting her seclusion in play,

Any friends she made as a young woman
Would laugh at her stitches and cloth,
For they knew that Violet was quite useless
And so showed their neat needlework off,

Poor Violet kept trying her best, but
Each time everyone ran her down,
She retreated back into her mind's warmth
Far away from that cold-blooded town,

Then one night, as the raindrops were piercing
Through the rueful, restricting twilight,
Violet threw on her Sunday attire and
Did at once in the darkness delight,

So she ran through the alleys and gardens,
Dancing down the pitch-black London streets,
Her beautiful dress flew about her
As she skipped past the other deceits,

Violet's stories swam round in her memory
As she flew through the night and the stars,
And she bathed thoroughly and with relish
Until Violet was cleansed of her scars,

Now her heart was open and happy,
So she laughed and fluttered her tail,
Carelessly gliding free through the water
And onwards to the ocean did sail.

As the weary sun rose on the next day
Her friends could be seen on the pier,
Dabbing at their dry eyes with their hankies,
Voices straining trying to sound sincere,

"It has hurt us so indescribably,
That because of her poorly-sewn hems,
Violet felt she was inferior to us
And has drowned herself in the Thames."

Violet's parents had not yet noticed
The absence of their only daughter,
And they would understand even less
How she came to be dead underwater,

But Violet was now free to prosper,
To swim and to dance and to glide,
And with angels and mermaids to play with,
She would always in her dreams reside.


Details | Ballad | |

My Long Lost Friend

He was my best friend
His name was Snoopy
He was a beagle
My favorite pet.

I got him on Christmas day
He was just a little pup
I loved him so much
Then God took him away.

He was out hunting 
He never came back
He was gone 
Just like that.

I wonder every day
Where is he
Alive or…
Dead?

I still miss him so
I cry at night
Missing him
Missing him.  



Details | Ballad | |

Just Can't Let Go

I’ve tried to forget you and what we’ve shared
I’ve tried not to believe that I really do care
But it makes my heart ache to tell myself no
There are too many reasons that I can’t let go

I remember the laughter and all of the fun that we’ve had
I think of how you’ve made me smile all the times I’ve been sad
I’m just so crazy about you and I’m letting you know
I love you too much to let you go

I want you to want me and to hold me so tight
I need you to need me and to hold me close at night
I want you to think of me wherever you are
I want you to remember my love is never far
Tell me our love will continue to grow
Please tell me that you just can’t let go

I’ll continue to love you and to treat you right
There’s no time for yelling and no reason to fight
My love is so strong it could move a mountain
That’s why my love pours out like water from a fountain
It’s so easy to love you and I just want you to know
That’s another reason I just can’t let go

Whenever I’m with you my heart begins to sing
You really do make my heart smile with all of the joy you bring
You fill me with excitement from head to toe
That’s one more reason that I just can’t let go

We need each other like the earth needs the rain
We have nothing to lose and so much to gain
You have someone to love you without causing you pain or sorrow
Someone who will love you today and still be here tomorrow
Someone who will always love you so
Someone who just can’t let go

Just give into your heart and live life on the wild side
Believe in me baby and I’ll take you on one heck of a ride
Look into my eyes and tell me what you see
A world full of love is what you will get from me
Just take a chance and don’t tell your heart no
Don’t miss out on true love, tell me you just can’t let go

This is the way that real love should be
You won’t get hurt this time, no not by me
It’s time to believe in someone you can trust
This is true love not casual lust
You can believe in my love I have eyes only for you
My heart is all yours loving, honest and true
There’s really something you should know
This heart of mine just can’t let go

The power of love is something we can’t understand
It’s rare and beautiful and can only be found with the touch of God’s hand
He brought us together for what we may not know
Let’s just hold onto what we have
We just can’t let go


Copyright © 2000  Shari E Davis



Details | Ballad | |

Free

Darkness surrounds me Your breath, skin, and words cover me
Shadows, memories, my body black and blue
Enough wounds from you
I want to be free
Free from touching you

Something always brings me back to you
A song, a picture, a voice in time
All put you back in my mind I want to be free
Free to be just me

Moving physically out of your reach
Running, hiding, checking over my shoulder
Looking for the weapon that pierces through time
One that cuts like a knife
Making you totally gone from my life
Bleed and make me free
Free and strong may I be


Details | Ballad | |

What Is There To Us

What is there to a word,
If its empty, all alone?
What is there to a poem,
If its angry, and never shown?
What is there to a name,
If its face just doesn't care?
What is there to a fight,
If a solution is never shared?
What is there to a night ,
If its wasted, spent apart?
What is there to a day,
If it starts with broken hearts?
What is there to the ocean,
If it stops coming back to shore?
And what is there to a Soulmate,
If they don't love you anymore?


Details | Ballad | |

Martyr for the Unorthodox word

If I had over 10,000 dreams You'd be the only thing my mind could see Judgment couldn't be real Succumbing to the fear of this cold life Find a way to break through The self-destruction of wordly delusions Don't tell me I've lived so long in a lovely illusion Break me down until we find a Nirvanic state Then bring me a savior from transgressions An atoning sacrifice Send down to me a messenger for me to submit to Bring me the truth to break through The delusion Bring me the messenger to explain it all And let me leave behind Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word


Details | Ballad | |

Perfect Date

I went to get ready, for our very last date.

She'd kill me for sure, if I showed up late.

I polished my shoes, put on a clean shirt.

Then bought her some roses. What could it hurt?

I thought to myself, as I knocked on her door.

I was ready to end this, I couldn't take anymore.

The day I first met her, she had ribbons in her hair.

Every time she spoke my name, my heart would float on air.

When we first started dating, it didn't take long.

For me to realize, that this was all wrong.

She made a big deal, out of every little thing.

She was not for me, that's how it seemed.

It had to end quick, I had made up my mind.

I had to act now, or I would run out of time.

She thanked me for the roses, then gave me a kiss.

That was one thing for sure, I would really miss.

We went out to eat, and then went to our spot.

I really think, she enjoyed it a lot.

Our spot was a cliff, looking over a lake.

By the time we got there, it was already late.

I put on some slow music, and we danced all night.

She had a sweet smile, and her eyes shined bright.

When we got back to the car, I kissed her goodbye.

I felt kind of sad, and I can't explain why.

I walked to my side, and pushed the pedal to the floor.

She tried to escape, but her dress was caught in the door.

As she flew off the edge, screaming in fear.

I only shed, one lonely tear.

The car hit the water, and ended its flight.

I felt a sense of relief, as I left the crash site.


Details | Ballad | |

THE KIND-HEARTED MRS ADAMS

We drove by her run-down house
with faded green shingles
and boarded-up windows,
a sad feeling overwhelmed us;
many times we helped her
to cut down the thick grass 
and in return she gave us 
three yellow flowers 
as a token of her gratitude... 
no one else could have cared more!

"These flowers are for you,darlings,because
you helped me plant them in the soil,
and they've grown to be tall and beautiful
in a garden so tidy and nice!" 
she exclaimed in jubilation;
"Remember me by when
I'll reach my home...to dwell
in the presence of the Lord,
and I'll be looking down on you and
pray with all angels to keep you safe and well!'
she gladly said with resignation,
foreseeing what  she couldn't explain...

She told us about her sweetheart,
whom she loved indefinetly:
from the moment they met,
to the day he peacefully died:
a lovely and faithful wife
was all he wanted and dreamed;
and their marriage lasted 
longer than they expected to be...
to be taken with them,
not being afraid of death!

"This is the grand piano I sed to play
for my husband on his last birthday;
he laid his arms on my shoulders
and sang along with me for hours:
on those snowy nights without moon...
when romance was rekindled with kisses
and the sentimental tunes
took away our winter's blues!"
she murmured with deep regret,
until her light eyes became wet...

The decaying house was put up for sale,
and only these kids have a story to tell
about the nicest person on that block,
who once was the prettiest girl-scout...
who loved us as much as her own children;
but did she deserve to be forgotten and die alone?
And if you wonder what her name was,
she was the kind-hearted Mrs Adams!


Details | Ballad | |

COLD TOMBSTONE

I came here with flowers
held gently to my sobbing chest,
to bring them to my dearest;
I have departed from the living,
to come face to face with my ending...

I lay my flowers at this cold tombstone...
engraved with a name too sweet,
and yet so painful to call it out;
the heat in my throbbing veins
could warm it up with a loving wish before dawn;
but who can resurrect someone from death?

This morning is dazzled by an intense sun,
carnations, flags and tombstones
perfectly blend as the swaying pines 
offer their breeze and soothing shade towards noon;
why are the noisy larks hiding,
and melancholically sing?

I rushed here to release these tears
and let them roll from these eyes,
like raindrops falling on this very quiet place:
where tranquility is as eternal as Paradise...

I lay my flowers at this cold tombstone,
feeling a presence so known;
others before me have knelt and cried, 
not to forget whom they lost and dearly loved...



Details | Ballad | |

Bruise Me

You always try
to break me down
you always try to knock me out
damage me with just your words
not physical but it still hurts
and all you do is make it worse.

You bruise me
Cut me with your tounge
Brutalize me, cut and binding
as my blood pours from the scars.
You bruise me
and it's really nothing more.

Berate me
go on hate me
it's something you love to do
yell at me, because now i see
there's nothing left for me with
you.
Your eyes so cold, words are old
nothing else that you can say
times running out, it's over now
and your the one who bruised
it away.

You bruised me
Cut me with your silver tounge
Brutalize me, cut and binding
As my blood pours from the scars
You bruised me
And really nothing more.


Details | Ballad | |

The Imperfects

Normal people, that's my game.
You think you know me? How lame.
I make my way, night by night.
Better watch where your going, I bite.
It's not for money, women, or fame.
It's for the bodies I claim.
I would tell you, but you wouldn't understand.
I feel like a fish, out on dry land.
There is no one like me, I am unique.
The world will die, I give them a week.
Kill them all, that much is clear.
I have to make them, disappear.
I'll bury them all, one by one.
Until my final task, is done.
Your lives are in my hands, your souls.
I'll pump your chest, full of holes.
I want the world, all to myself.
Only me, no one else.
Your impurities, make me ill.
And that's not how, I want to feel.
No need to run, that much is true.
I'll get you no matter what you do.
The world was going, in a downhill path.
I had to do something, had to act fast.
Your hookers and druggies, sicken me.
And that's not how, I want to be
If you were only perfect, like me.
This wouldn't have to happen, you see?
It's your own faults you brought it on yourselves.
Now you all, GO TO HELL!


Details | Ballad | |

A SUBSTITUTE FOR THIS LONELINESS

Another charming woman is
sharing with me what I used
to share with you without guilt,
even without a sad feeling or thought:
to find a substitute for this loneliness...
for  that deep void you left inside!

The cell phone always rang
at the end of the evening;
and I was so thrilled
to hear you at the other end:
to listen to the sweet words that were
able to turn an uncaring man
into a gentler and kinder one...
and I learned how to care!

Oh,how I long to hear that voice again,
and like a dream that needed litttle dreaming:
you came knocking on my door at dawn,
and I let you in without hesitating...
so earger to touch you like nobody could;
so impatient to invent a magical world!   

Another night is coming to haunt me mercilessly
with the beautiful memories and secrets 
of two close hearts loving endessly;
what other choice do I have...if not look away,
and tell myself that you don't exist in my thoughts...
to find a substitute for this loneliness?
    


Details | Ballad | |

The Wanderer part 1

I remember a day I smiled at her
And she smiled back
That was miles away
down the road
We parted there
And I came back
to find her long gone
No trace, no note, no sign
I wondered if she
had hesitated before leaving
Was I worth a moment's reflection?
Does love escape so easily?
Can I hope for an equivalant peace?
I sat upon a stone
for an hour
On the deserted road
And reflected upon her existence
which so troubled me
How many have traveled
these worn paths?
Why do I see nothing
from horizon to horizon?
I smashed the stone
over my head
Hoping it would
ease the pain
No fresh thoughts 
flowed; but merely,
a second of intense pain
which melted into anger;
and resolved to despair
Alone I sat
till the sun had buried itself
below the distant hills
A cloud pushed it down
I knew I might die there,
if I did not travel on
Death has no mercy
So I put my shoes on
and walked

There was music
in the distant hills
flowed through the leaves
Did I detect a sinister leer
across the moon's face?

I spat at the stars
Whose light shone on me
with such a total waste

Each step
towards those grey and black hills
brought a recurrence of
each burning memory
I had no solice in thought

I took off my shoes
as I stumbled over the gravel
Hoping the jabbing pain
of each stone's attack
would flavor my thoughts

I was embarrassed
even while being alone
For I knew I was a fool
Had I not held her tighter
Had I not dragged her
Had I not missed her
on a different road.
I had not
And I paid dearly
for a few moments
of unexcelled bliss

I spent six days walking
in silence
Not a soul passed me by
Only the crickets saluted my march-
or did they laugh at me
from their dark dens?
I tried sleepwalking
when the agony of thought
burnt too deep
But I bagan finding myself
wandering off the road
You need both eyes
to travel that road

I was close to death
one weary night
A night so weary
I was restless with exhaustion
When the darkness
reached out to grab me
And I nearly smiled
to see my end

A sudden flash!!
A gleaming yellow light
The dim flicker of hope
swelled at the
possibility
So I ran
with my last moment's breath
to embrace a beauty
which outshone my old love

Strength returned and
my feet were no longer sore
Love bloomed to heights
I never knew existed
Old loves and earlier horrors
were dispelled by her
shining yellow light

(continued on part  two)


Details | Ballad | |

For Amy

They say she was six
Seductive beyond her years
Hidden behind her childs eyes
A sea of silent tears

What a pretty little girl
They all used to say
Look as she walks
Her hips seem to sway

Someday she’ll be a model
Or a big runway star
With a look like that
She’s sure to go far

Walk like this, baby
And talk like that
Bow to the man honey
He puts the money in the hat

It wasn’t long
Before all knew her name
The pretty little girl
Playing a grown-ups’ game

No time for dolls
Her mother always said
With the price they pay
We can keep us all fed

Now you know, baby
You can’t go out and play
You have to sit for photos
With the nice men today

It’s ok sweet one
Show a little leg
It’ll make the nice men
Stand up and beg

Her soul had been sold
By the time she was ten
The life of a child
She’d never have again

She’s all grown up now
Feeling alone and abused
The marks on her arms
Tell of the things she’s used

Just one more fix
And the pain will go away
She’ll be alright now
Amy died today….


Details | Ballad | |

Broken Dreams

  Do you believe in the things that you've always known,
Can you understand the things you've been shown.
   Is it the visions you see that make you believe,
Or is the feelings you get when you've been deceived.
    The pain you feel a never ending ache ,
Tearing your heart and soul from you every day.
    Time ticks slowly pounding away at you,
Throbbing heart breaking and there's you can do,
    Must I settle for these lost and broken dreams,
Because it has all the signs that what it seems.
    How much should a man endure to find his way,
It cant possibly be like this hard for me every day.
    There is nothing so frustrating as being so confused,
Especially when you've discovered that you've been used.
    I will get through this lonely phase I have no doubts,
But I'm sure there will come a day I'll figure it all out.
    Cautiously I walk the path that's been laid before me,
In faith I will continue for I know he will let me see.
    Life will be thrown at you in so many different ways,
I will be prepared for these things for the rest of my days.
    Broken dreams will be the learning tree for me to grow ,
Living my life with Joy Happiness is what I'll always Know.
tac


Details | Ballad | |

London

She called herself London
On that day 
She fell from the sky
Child of apple blossoms
Dancing wildly
Into your mind

The snake that hung from her neck
Bites your hand
Expels you from Eden
Tears into the cool flesh
Of your madness
Posing as reason

London
Kisses you like a sweet lover
As though she really cares
Lets you 
Taste the passionate orchard
In her body’s secret lair

London
Wrestles with all your demons
Nothing quite compares
To the pain 
The indecent pleasure
In the waters that you share

Her name was London
Call her London

She called herself London
On that night
She prayed to the moon
Apollo’s lyre
Played darkly
In a portent 
Of your own doom

The hell she hides 
In her soul
Toxic drug you’ll never escape
You crave the milk of her touch
Her strange and dangerous ways

London
Kisses you like a sweet lover
As though she really cares
Lets you 
Taste the passionate orchard
In her body’s secret lair

London
Wrestles with all your demons
Nothing quite compares
To the pain 
The indecent pleasure
In the waters that you share  

Her name was London
Call her London

My baby, London
Call her London
My moon-girl, London 
Call her London

I love her, London
Call her London
Forever, London 

I call her London……


Details | Ballad | |

The Angel We Gave To You

The Angel We Gave To You...

He could have taken anyone
But no one really knew 
Of all the people in this world
God had chosen you

Your little face so beautiful
We loved you from the start
Every tiny part of you
Engraved upon our hearts

Every precious moment 
Every hour that you gave
Every time we held you
Was a precious memory made

We’ll never see you smile
We will never watch you grow
Which makes the time we had with you
More precious that you know

Everyday we'll send you
Love and kisses up above
For nothing’s greater in this world
Than mummy and daddy’s love 

In times of pain and sadness 
When we feel all hope is gone
We’ll know that in your sister, and our hearts
You will live on

And when we go to bed each night 
We’ll close our eyes and pray
We’ll put our hands together  
And this to God we’ll say

“You’ve taken someone special
Who we love more than you know
So brave, but very fragile
So with you she had to go

Please wrap her in your tender arms 
And love her like we do
And cherish every moment
The Angel…we gave to you”

For Ruby  xxXxx


Details | Ballad | |

ALL SHE WILL BE NEEDING

She smells of stale garbage and wine
Her boots all worn and tattered
Stern-faced and stony eyes
Dressed in a tired ol' mink
She shivers as she takes a rest
From pushing her metal cart
Squeaking and overflowing with
Items reflecting her life
She had been warned twice to move
The choice was not hers to make

Today, like all the others
She will walk ten blocks or so
In hope to find a warmer place
To lay down for the night
Just a corner to rest
Is all she will be needing
She knows this will be over soon
The pain gets worse each day
Yet, her hopes live on for one more day
Her deliverance is on its way!
~*~


*"HOMELESSNESS"


Details | Ballad | |

You're Just A Stranger

Why do you despise me
why can't you let me be,
how come you always pestering me.
How come you can not see
I am beginning to turn my love away from thee
Just as you are turning your hate on me.

I proceed biting my words back 
and just nodding my head
you think i am the one to blame
but you'll end up losing me instead.
I try to talk to you, but you
cut me out and shut your ears
where will this get us
in fifteen or so years.
 
You bring down the pressure
while i try to do as you say
Only until i lose, you win
will you stop yelling and walk away.

Here i sit, expressing my stress on paper
only hoping tomorrow will bring
something better
and that i won't lose my life forever.
Please forgive me 
for this paper may be wet with tears
I know this is a stage in life,
I pray will pass in a few years. 

As i write my anger fades
but when i think about you it returns
I hope we both learn from this
For I may lack empathy
but you are always so very stern.
It seems everything I do
has gotten on your nerves
And I know you don't hold it inside
For your anger does surly splurge.

Tonight you have taken my phone
and cut me off from my friends I truly need
your words hit me hard,
and to you I can not plead.
Someday I may realize
what you did was probably right
I will try to understand,
I will try with all my might.
But until that day
or until through my eyes you see,
You are still a stranger
You're just a stranger to me.

Nov. 21. 2011


Details | Ballad | |

Please Listen To Her Prayer


While you’re watching over all your children from above

Listening as they send to you a prayer

Please God will you take some time to listen to my child

And find a way to let her know you’re there



Through the years she suffered a very tragic loss

Her happy life was shattered; torn apart

She tries so hard to hide the lonely tears she cries at night 

She tries so hard to hide her broken heart



Through the years she put aside her sadness and her pain

And found the strength to be both mum and dad

She never let them see the hurt, they only saw her smile

Although she’d lost the only love she had



She's struggled through the ups and downs that losing someone brings

She battled on and fears were cast aside

But every day I see the hurt and pain I know she feels

I see the unshed tears that fill her eyes



But now I see her worrying for someone else she loves

Her child...her precious life and soul

I watch the pain and sadness returning to her life

I watch the years of heartache take its toll  



So please God will you take a while and listen to her prayers

Let her worries, and her burdens cease

Take away her pain and sorrow, dry her lonely tears

And help my daughter find a sense of peace



I need for her to know you’re there no matter what life brings

To guide her when I know she's lost her way

I need to know that once again a smile will reach her eyes

That happiness, she will find again someday...






Details | Ballad | |

New Year's Eve

Can’t think about the Year that didn’t last
Can’t fight the time and how it passed so fast…
Voices were cheerful that night
Everyone was full of silver light

I heard the sounds but didn’t care
I couldn’t help but only think and stare…
I dreamed of love that possibly I’ll never share
And of life that was just like a fairytale.

In that second of complete despair
I saw the moon and realized it was all a dare
Then your voice whispered in my ear
Promising me all I needed to hear…


Details | Ballad | |

the last good-bye

Disregard September’s lasting day, its simplicity long foretold, 
As the sound of summer has past us by, into the crisp and radiant fall;
Come hold this mirror to a ray of light, and pass the moment on,     
When in the hint of a calming breeze, is held the lost good-bye

Forever leaves of a brighter shade have fallen from there boughs,
While overhead October waits to softly steal by; 
For opportunities are gone to soon, and change as mornings past 
Like the worth of days, trapped in that sweet good-bye 

Man senses November and its desolate hours in a fog of its own regret,
When the sun could not cool the night, nor the moon give warmth to day;
We are caught in the measure of simple words, tied to hope and wonder
That speaks of a last good-bye

Wrapped tight in the cold of December, bound to the rhythm of life,
Gone to solitudes isolation and the sadness of that forgotten farewell,
Sacrificed to the wind that winter holds, bound to a memory past
Intent to hear of our last good-bye


Details | Ballad | |

Rose Hips Lady

Rose hips lady
Your field is ripe
Bury my torn body
In that rain-soaked night

Taste those sweet confessions
On your baby breath
Lift this wounded flag
Into your burning nest

Oh, yes, I will
I will

Rose hips lady
Your field is ripe
Bury my torn body
In that rain-soaked night

Tame the roaring tiger
Never lets you rest
Take my last reward 
From your moonlit breasts

Oh, yes, I will
I will

Daddy’s gone hunting 
He’s gone away
Daddy’s gone hunting
Won’t be back for days

Left you with a lover
Makes a shrine 
Of your skin

Left you with a lover
Takes you down
Roads of sin

Left you all alone 
Alone

And the knots cut deep
Through the musk and flesh
Of hot regret
And the love you need
It’s a shadow
Never lets you rest

You release the Beast
From a well that’s wet
You will confess
That the love you need
It’s a shadow
Never lets you rest

Rose hips lady
Aaaaaah......


Details | Ballad | |

If Only I Had Known

If only I had known I’d never hear your voice again
Or hear you whisper sweetly in my ear 
I’d memorise each word of love you ever said to me
So when I'm all alone, your voice I’ll hear

If only I had known it was the last time I would see
The man I love with all my heart and soul
I would have held on tighter and kept you close to me
And never would have ever let you go

If only I had known it was my last night in your arms
That I would never wake with you again
I’d pray for God to hide the sun and let you stay with me
And pray for night time always to remain

If only I had known you would be taken from my life
Be left with only memories and tears
I’d cherish every second, every minute spent with you
To keep them in my heart through all the years 

If only I had known that you were leaving me behind 
So many things I never got to say
To tell you what it meant for me to have you in my life
Steal one more kiss before you went away

You were my love my heart my soul, the reason that I breathe
And now you are my Angel up above
Please listen, and hear me when I say a prayer for you
The only man I know I’ll ever love ...


Details | Ballad | |

Antigone

I am the face of misery
My life, a dissonance of autumn and spring,
The years are written in the same
Lugubrious, nostalgic grey
How can it be the author to blame?
I cannot scream this all away…
Burn nor Bleed this all away…
To Death I am Ordained

Lacuna ever growing
With Velvet sheets of life flowing
Aeons apart of my "royalty"
Under the mask the cannot see...
Can you dispel this tragedy:
Antigone - Epiphany failing

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

No words of hope
No words of hate
Do I have Lenore to send to me:
The sordid child of Thebes
Caught In the longest nightmare
life - the slowest way to die

I know this is my life 
But I'm not under control
under the mask the will see
Just Another Human

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

Can you dispel my life; this tragedy?
Can you control the storm in my mind?
I'm asking you: can you rid me
Of The Curse of Antigone?


Details | Ballad | |

Please Give Him Back To Me

I just don’t want to be alone
I don’t want to be free
I cannot be without you
But all that’s left is me
I lie here in the darkness
I scream, I shout, I cry
But no one seems to hear me
As I pray, I pray to die
There is no daylight in my world
No sun, no moon, no glow
No smiles or laughter; only tears
Just tears, sad tears that flow
I put my hands together 
I pray to God above
To take me from this lonely place 
And to the man I love
But in the deafening silence
I know I face defeat
I know I'm still alone, because
My broken heart still beats
He took you from my loving arms
And walked you through His door
You belong to Him now
You belong to me no more
I know I live on borrowed time
I know it won’t be long
Before I'm in your arms again
The place where I belong
And I will keep on praying
Until he hears my plea
To take me through the gates of Heaven 
And give you back to me...


Details | Ballad | |

Little Black Horse

little black horse, I've seen you around
little black horse, destined to terrorize the town
little black horse, you've seemed to have caught a mare
little black horse, with your long shiny hair

little black horse, why drag that mare around
death so coupled to you that she's destined to drown
fate cruel to her, to make her love
her soul tarnished and beaten, no longer white, and as pure as a dove

little black horse, do you not care at all?
crest fallen and withering, she still heeds your call
little black horse, she will die at your hand
yet her presence to you, just a mere grain of sand 


Details | Ballad | |

Voice in the Night

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope
After the world turned dark

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Healing words
Made from
Angel heart

Oh, her chocolate whisper
Warm convincing breeze
Oh, her breathy laughter
In the shadow of my need 

Don’t you hear the voice?
Save  you from despair
Don’t you hear the voice?
Sent by ghosts who care

Don’t you hear the voice?
Rises like a prayer
Come to rescue you
From your earthly snare

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope 
Kissed my tears away

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Now I dance
To a magic serenade

Don’t you hear the voice?
Memories of home
Don’t you hear the voice?
Pretty as a poem

Don’t you hear the voice?
Vivifies your soul
Bathes you in a pool 
Love you’ve never known

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope
After the world turned dark

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head
Lady caller,
Take me, take me
To your bed

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head
Lady caller
Raise me, raise me
From the dead

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head


Details | Ballad | |

To Music

Sweet sounds so dear—
Pure timeless tones of gladness—
Your melodies bestir my soul to flight—
Through darkest night
And doleful days of sadness—
I thank you for my hope and banished fear,
Oh precious music, mine to hear.

In sorrow born—
From dust to dust we wander,
Lamenting, all too late, come winter frost,
The springtime lost.—
Our lives we vainly squander.
The mourning bells do toll for us, forlorn.—
Oh may we hark to heaven's horn!

Sweet sounds so dear—
Pure timeless tones of gladness—
Your melodies bestir my soul to flight—
Through darkest night
And doleful days of sadness—
I thank you for my hope and banished fear,
Oh precious music, mine to hear.


– Harley White

[Song Lyrics for 'An die Musik' – Franz Schubert (1797–1828) ]


Details | Ballad | |

The Repetition of Pain

my heart is bleeding
tears and blood dripping from insanity.

how cruel can life be 
so many drops of rain and still i find reality

it is so cold to be found
in a place where i never wish i would be

it is breaking me down
to the core of the earth that drives me out to what 

i want to be.

and i pray with my knees on the ground

my hands held up high 

because i dont want to say goodbye.
and i realised

i dont have a choice

and i seek and hunt for the dreams i wish

my head held up high

because this is who am i 
and i realised

i do have a voice

i will shout out loud
i will cry in pain
i will yell out loud
when my journey with you begins ..

i will scream out loud
i will take the pain
throw it away

and i will live a new day.

and i pray to God
i pray to Him

Please give me hope

Please give me strength 

to live for just another day


Details | Ballad | |

For You

Listen, I have something to say
Oh! It's not really me, It's my heart
It's crying saying,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
It's broken saying,
I'll never get tired of saying that
every minute of my life.
It's dying saying,
I'm sorry, I'll never get tired even if all signs points me to none.
It's lost saying,
I am not expecting anything
But you can expect me to say I'm sorry still, 
even if all signs points to none.
It's sorry saying,
I missed you.
It's hoping saying,
Please forgive me.


Details | Ballad | |

When Love Comes

When Love comes to town

so the saying goes

flee will the foes

except the sad clown



Love is always in town

and out of town

in fact has left the building

right?



Love is in all places 

and nowhere at all

if you don't look

or lack the social graces



The sad clown is

a metaphor for you

for you are so blind

in your apparent happiness



Yet Love conquers all

gathers up the lost

when I am weak

Love does the most



(and so I must post)


Details | Ballad | |

Zero

I was born pale and invisible
In a world
Sees everything 
Everything, everything….but me

Invisible to your touch
And doubt you’ll like me very much
Am I alive?
Was I ever me?

I’m a non-existent cipher
A pointless empty zero
Never added up to anything
A non-existent cipher
Pointless empty zero
Tell me….what does it all mean?

And now I think I want you
Ethereal body
Oblivious mask
And now I think I love you
Intelligent lips
Painted in black

But no need to look my way
Or give me the time of day

Can’t be with you 
In this world
Invisible man 
Never gets the girl

Oh, no...

I’ll find where you are
And watch from afar
You will be felt by me

I’ll find where you are
And watch from afar
You will be loved by me

Your 
Zero 
Tonight
Your 
Zero 
For life
Your zero
The day I die

Your zero….your zero

Zero


Details | Ballad | |

Forgiving The Unforgivable

Forgiving The Unforgivable.
 
I held my peace and sung a song,
that echoed through the righteous hall,
my right, my truth, all put to wrong!
As judgment fine had met the pall.
 
How can there be a better way,  
to tell the world of foul play,
than those, your words, that captivate,
and that, my looks, you separate; 
your lies, your tricks, my punishment!
In years to come a sure lament;
but life shall only last its days,
until the sun these men does gaze;
then deeds shall bind our spirits such,
would implore it the heaven's touch,
so again shall meet face to face,
when shattered is the time and space,
there I shall pardon and forgive,
as not in this dimension live,
and from this burden be relieved,
that had a trusting friend deceived,
and yes, I have just this to say,
that friends and foes alike decay,
but on that day, you I shall see, 
as an error of mortality.
 
I hold my peace and sing this song,  
That echoes through the righteous hall,
My right, my truth, all put to wrong!
as judgment fine has met the pall.
 
R.N.Khan, © 2012


Details | Ballad | |

Fog

I see you standing there through the fog looking at me 
Your eyes never leave my face 
What are you seeing?
What are you looking at?
You see me standing here in the mist but you don't come no closer
I can feel that you want to come to me but something's holding you back
Don't you want to hold me in your arms ? 
Don't you want me baby?

Mystery guy come to me 
Clear all this fog in your wake 
I want you 
My body achs for you 
There's so much space between us
Filled with this fog and mystery
Why do you just stand there letting the fog swallow you?

I cry out for you
to run but you just stand there like a statue 
Mystery guy come to me 
Don't stay here in this fog

I'm trying to come to you but someones holding me back
I can see that I'm starting to lose you to the fog
Even though I don't know you 
I can't bear to lose you

It feels as though Iv known you my whole life
Who are you mystery guy?
Fight don't give into the fog
stay with me


Details | Ballad | |

Praying For The Day

I pray for the day,
That my sweet child comes home,
To my loving arms,
So, I can love and hold them tightly,
Each and everyday of their lives,
To be there for them and guide them,
As they learn to grow,
Into a wonderful adult,
That I know they will become,
For they have such a wonderful heart,
And as people will see them grow each year,
Learning along their way,
Having their own imagination,
To shine and guide them,
To be a very unique person of their own,
But they are already very different,
In many different ways,
By their looks and their loving heart,
And of course being very smart,
Their beauty will shine,
In many different ways,
Both inside and out,
And I pray for the day,
They will come home,
To stop these painful, loving tears.


Details | Ballad | |

PICCANINNY DAWN

The old man and his grandson viewed 
A barren bladeless ground. 
When to his left the young lad's eye 
Saw bleached bones scattered 'round. 
'Twas more than one beast's bones that lay 
There exposed to the sun. 
It seemed more like a battlefield 
Where only death had won. 
 
The old man saw the young lad wince, 
He reined in close behind. 
As memories of what took place 
Came flooding through his mind. 
A century turned, but not his luck, 
For rains had failed again. 
He slowly watched the dams dry up 
While cattle died in pain. 
 
A little water still remained 
Though sought by feral stock. 
Some brumbies which came down at dawn 
Still often used the block. 
In good times no one cared that much, 
But not so any more. 
The young lad's dad and this old man 
Both knew what lay in store. 
 
A high log fence closed off the dam, 
The timber they had sawn. 
Suspended gate it lay in wait 
For piccaninny dawn. 
Then as the last mare ambled through 
Wood gate it dropped like lead. 
A wood rail race seemed their escape, 
But death lurked there instead. Their capital had all dried up, 
No cash for lead and gun. 
To execute the feral stock 
Took knife and old man's son. 
With legs astride the wood rail race 
Son grimaced as he drew 
That blade of death 'cross jug'lar vein, 
Then slapped the victim through. 
 
Each fleet foot spirit faltered there 
A hundred yards away, 
While blazing eyes showed fear of death, 
Mouths gave a weakened neigh. 
Then one by one their weak frames fell 
Onto the dusty ground. 
The racing hearts of those poor beasts 
Then gave their final pound. 
 
The slaughter did not save the stock 
For all the dams went dry. 
It fin'ly broke the old man's son, 
He watched the grown man cry. 
All this the old man told the lad, 
The picture was now drawn. 
On why his dad then took his life 
One piccaninny dawn. 

The young lad then took from his head
his father's sweat stained hat
And as he wiped the tears away
He said, Gramps thanks for that."
I'd always had my doubts you see
About the way Dad died,
But now I know the truth at last
I'll wear this hat with pride.


Details | Ballad | |

the poverty blues song

I've got damp on my walls and cobwebs in the hall
got a rat in the kitchen
where the cockroach crawl.
I got holes in my shoes
where my toes peep through
I got a bad case of the poverty blues.

I got a crack in my bathtub and bed bugs in my bed
I got things crawlin through my hair
that make me scratch my head

Got piles of bills collected by my door
the one's I should have paid a year or two or more.
I try to get myself sorted
but always seem to lose
I got a bad case of the poverty blues.

Guitar.

I got trouble in my hovel
and the place could do with a good clean
I may not be superman
but  I try the best I can
I just find things so hard to do
Guess I got a bad case of the poverty blues.

Some people call me lazy
but I sure ain't crazy
I;m a man alone in the world what can I do
I got a bad case of the poetry blues.

I'd love to meet a girly
who could cook and clean
with lots of money
so I could live my dreams
one thet would say I do
so I no longer got to sing the poverty blues
say I no longer got to sing the poverty  blues uesssssssssssssss.

Peter Dome copyright. 2012.


Details | Ballad | |

Isolation

How can I tell you?
I can't stay with you.

Neither I can give up on you.
Fear of losing you is losing me.
It feels like slow death every night.

But we are just stuck in our spaces!
Unable to connect from two feet distance.


Details | Ballad | |

My Life is Over

Lord, how???
How could this be?
That a shadow so despicable is allowed to trod the world 
So infuriating, so excruciating, so vicious
Is it really necessary? 

Lord, why???
Why must this be?
That this heartless, wretched spawn of Satan, 
leaves such severe sorrow wherever it goes.
So painful, so exasperating, so agonizing.
Will it ever end?
                     
My sorrowful soul, my aching soul
The light that once shone bright, that once flickered within
Has suddenly grown dim
There is now an open wound where my heart used to be
And I'm afraid it wont ever heal
I am weak, I am numb.
I am surrounded by the sounds of despair
I dwell in distress all my days
Hoping to wake up from this horrific dream
But I think I may have died in my sleep, I can't seem to wake up
Now all I have are memories
And that makes it even harder 
To accept the fact that you are never coming back
I curse the day it happened wondering why you and not me
Because my life as I new it was over,


Why Lord why,
I will never understand?
My mother, my best friend is gone forever
My life as I knew it is over.


Details | Ballad | |

DAD

DAD....

If only we could have you back dad
Just for one more day
To hold you in our arms once more
Before you went away

To tell you how we love you
How we know you loved us too
How no man in this world
Will ever take the place of you

Dad you were our anchor
Our rock, our shining knight 
The man we all depend upon 
And love with all our might 

Always we will picture you
Sitting in your chair
Coffee, paper, football...
How we wish you were still there

Whenever you were told
Another grandchild’s on the way
The frown upon your face 
Spoke the words you’d never say

But when each newborn grandchild
In your loving arms was placed
The look of unconditional love 
Was there upon your face

Precious memories linger
And tears will gently flow
For the granddad with the sweets
For the Granddad who never said no

Always there for each of us
You always made us smile
And knowing we were happy
Seemed to make your life worthwhile

You filled our lives with happiness
We filled your heart with pride
But now we walk this unknown path
Without you by our side 

Those who never met you
Will feel they know you too
For part of you will live in us
In everything we do

Forever we will miss your voice
Your laugh, your smiling face
Forever we will miss the dad
We never will replace

It’s hard to let you go dad
For we never said goodbye
Now you’re an Angel in God’s Heaven
High above the sky

But sometimes when we’re all alone
And feel all hope is gone
I know we’ll hear you whisper
"Kids just smile...and carry on”...


We love you dad...
Always have...
Always will...
xxxx


Details | Ballad | |

Capricorn, the mountain climber

Capricorn the mountain climber

The goat he is relentless
He'll cimb the higest hill
Just a wee bit at a time
With his gigantic will
He tends to take life seriously
But he can laugh at his own self
This man will try to seek his fortune
And accumulate some wealth.

He be the father of this Earth
He likes to take control
And sometimes he will be considered
As drab, and often dull
He's reliable, you can count on him
When you need to get things done
He'll often work so very hard
He'll forget to have some fun.

He has a lot of patience
And he can put his mind
A hundred percent on anything
And him you'll often find
Working out some problem
Until he gets it right
And for the people in his life
He'll put up quite a fight.

23 September 2013 @ 1422hrs.


Details | Ballad | |

A Better Life...

A Better Life

I don't know why she hides,
I don't know why she shivers,
I don't know why she cries,
I don't know why she quivers,

Daddy's girl is all alone,
And I don't know how to help her,
Daddy's world is all but blown,
And I don't know what to tell her,

What happened to her confidence,
And her self assured way,
Which used to be so prominent,
In all she did or would say,

Who stole my little girl’s heart,
And drove her to such confusion,
She now slowly does her part,
As if all she has is illusion,

She knows I would kill any other man,
For doing such harm to my little girl,
But this is much more than I can stand,
As it has forever blown apart my world,

They took ‘steps’ to the next level,
And now they each look to me in despair,
I warned them each to be careful,
But the forbidden fruit they shared,

Now I look at one without trust,
Yet I still love my son so very much,
I still hold her distant as I must,
But she needs Daddy’s healing touch,

Why do I have to be the bad guy,
When my children need my help,
I pushed one out and I still cry,
While I can't help her help herself,

There is no way to win here,
And my tears won't stop falling,
I have lost them both I fear,
And my fears won't stop calling,

I don’t know what to do anymore,
Or how I can help either of them,
Both children my heart cries out for,
But the truth is neither can win, 

And for this my darling kids,
I am so sorry I can’t decide,
Which to disown or which to kiss,
When I am actually on both your sides,

So I pray that both her and him,
Of whom I am so very proud,
Do not give up and become victims,
Who wear this pain like a shroud,

I pray both of you hear my advice,
Get over this hardship and understand,
This lesson with its terrible price,
Is one where you do as best you can,

To forgive and move on from here,
Without Dad having to choose a side,
And to let go of all that you fear,
If you want to grow to have a better life.


Details | Ballad | |

Cassandra

Revelation Said In Stone Appeared an Eon ago of Shame and Sin, Something we all know But not it's rise, For is has already became Virtue Flaming Skies from an Angel So Bright The World's Cure for Soul-Blight A Hell on Earth A Savior's Worth So many Dreams are cast then Forgotten So many lives are brought up then just Thrown back down Maybe she is The Cure Maybe she is The Plan All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Release me and Burn away this land Hold me by The Hand Tell me the past is just pretend Give me The Cure If this is your destiny Then May it be mine I would die in time I'm Just another Obstacle In the way of your divine Wings Forget me Cassandra For Doom was already meant for me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Valkyrie of Heart Angel of Grace I surrender to You Savior by Destiny Dispel all Tragedy Especially me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim


Details | Ballad | |

It's Time To Let Go

I'm ready to grieve now... so let there be tears
It’s time to move on to face all my fears
It’s time to let go now... so let there be pain
It’s time to start crying when I hear your name
My days have been frozen since you have been gone
My nights I just live in the words of our song
I cling to the past and all that we knew
Too scared to let go, the memory of you
I know now that time will never erase
Our memories, a love I can never replace
I know to move on doesn’t mean you forget
I know to let go doesn’t mean you regret
I must close the door now and find a new way
To reach for tomorrow and not yesterday
It’s time to remember and smile when I do
All the fun, the laughter and love shared with you
It’s time for goodbye, to let the tears flow 
It’s time to move now...it’s time to let go..


Raina Hutchins


Details | Ballad | |

The Ballad of Malcolm McCorey

Come and listen awhile I pray
To hear a sad love story,
I have only a minute to stay
To tell the tale of Malcolm McCorey.

I'm Malcolm, Sally was my bride
I've loved her since grade school,
She was my life and my pride
And, I was her ever loving fool.

Work let off early that night
And it was pouring down in sheets,
When my eyes beheld the sight
Of Sally whoring 'tween the sheets.

My Sally was not forthcoming
And, I was blind by love's adoring,
I swear I never saw it coming
The day my Sally went a whoring.

This wasn't some casual adoring
That I might could understand,
This was at our home a whoring
In our bed with another man.

It was a cold and rainy night
And it was pouring down in sheets,
I wasn't prepared for the sight
Of Sally whoring 'tween the sheets.

The truth came like a blinding light
She couldn't wait to shut the door,
When I came home early that night
While she gaily played the whore!

She glared up at me in surprise
At seeing me suddenly arrive,
I stared back into her lying eyes
Down the barrel of my forty five!

It was a stormy and dismal night
And it kept pouring down in sheets,
I'll never forget the awful sight
Of Sally whoring 'tween the sheets.

The Padre' comes to comfort me
My life's now run it's course,
Today my pain will cease to be
Soon, I'll feel no more remorse.

I forgive myself of all at last
My soul will soon go soaring,
Today will soon be o'er and past
The pain, of Sally gone a whoring.


* Malcolm was executed in may of 1969. May God have mercy on his soul.


                        Timothy I. Brumley


Details | Ballad | |

I Miss You

I know how lost and lonely
Your  world was for a while
Your eyes so sad and empty
Your face without a smile

Your world so out of focus
Set you walking the wrong street
And always I’d be there
To wipe the tears of each defeat

But never did I give up hope
I always knew we’d win
I knew with me beside you
Once again your soul would sing

For you were still the son I loved
Who’d brought me so much joy
You were still a part of me
You were still my boy

And with your strength and dignity
You washed away the pain
Rebuilding all your hopes and dreams
You learned to smile again

And with that smile upon your face
And new found peace of mind
With fun and laughter in your heart
You left this world behind

I feel an endless ache inside
I feel so incomplete
For losing you it means
I've lost the biggest part of me

Forever I will miss the laughs
Our talks, your smiling face
Forever I will miss the son
I never can replace

It’s hard to let you go
Because we never said goodbye
Now you’re an Angel in God’s Heaven
High above the sky

But sometimes when I'm all alone
And feel all hope is gone
I seem to hear you whisper
"Mum just smile, and carry on"


By Raina Hutchins




Details | Ballad | |

Starcrossed Tragedy

A Silent Night's Hunt for a Tigress so blunt, Left the Fiend dancing with my Thisbe's Cloack But where was She? Her Drenching blood is all I can see The Night of Sanguine, The Night of Rapture, Tonight was meant to be All Behold This Tragedy ran by Dark Energy, My Lost Lover's Plea A seed of what is to come, In this starcrossed Tragedy, For I can not live without you, My Pyramus, All I need, My reason to Breathe One sight of me bleeding away from reality, started this tragedy and with me It shall Grow The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy A Star traveling across the moonless Night Sky, In the mid-summer of Verona, Fell from her glorious light, I have lost my guide, My need for Life Every balcony I'll climb for you, Just to Caress you once more But now it is too Late, My Juilet Let the Poison Fill me My Body dyed In silence, Dipped in Paralysis, Forging the Will of God, Feigning the Clutches of Death, My Romeo I prithee to you, See past The Illusion, Caught in the Webs of Love's delusion A Dagger reached my heart once To see you martyr for our love A Dagger reached my heart twice The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy Once the Morning Retired from her weeping The sun shined into her eyes, then his Lifeless, their dream will live on Every Petal will be Avenged The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy


Details | Ballad | |

Echoes of You

For me the sun has closed her eyes
Never to rise again
Darkness is all that surrounds me now
Darkness and echoes of pain

I'm on a journey to nowhere
The road is narrow and long
Walking alone, I stumble and fall
With echoes of you and our song

I try to look to the future, but
I may just as well be blind
The absence of you is all that I see
Echoes of you so defined

Confusion and pain, my constant friends
They never leave me alone
Reminders of all that you and I shared
Echoes I cannot disown

Today or tomorrow will never be mine
I live in a dark, sad place
The past, not the present, is all I can see
In the echoes of your lovely face

Emotional scars are invisible
But the damage is built to last
I wonder, will I ever be free
From echoes of you and the past...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Ballad | |

Corpse Bride

The braeþ of lyf -- I've Learned to fear
Though, ta'en it was, so long sinsyne
I've wroot my song of skreighs
He tore the lyf out of me
In sooth did she speke this to me - Cassandra was she to me
Wistful - I am no bride to be
Wistful - is this soliloquy of skreighs

I cede to thee, deathly colleen 
Though remains - façades of humanity 
Angel kind - wicce of my welkin dreams
Casted by the lote of she
Ta'en the hollow Herefro way - ne'er!
Caught with twain
W'ie or swain

Angel dearest so fair - love does not share
Seemed a crux, when eath is lone
I rose for thee - cede all of thy love to me
Or was this not meant to be
Eros's deceit 
So wistful - corpse bride I remain to be


Details | Ballad | |

Goats

Goats

They’re everywhere
These pretty little creatures
On the serpent road to Exmouth
They be some of the features
Along with Emus, Kangaroos
And handsome birds of prey
These little goats be bountiful
They’re all along the way.

They be domestic goats 
Who’ve gone back to the wilds
Where they have bred one million fold.
As one moves along the miles
These little goats be seen so much
In their many shades and hues
Don’t know where they got their water
It be tough country too.

The weather here be hot and dry
As the sun bakes everything
And mostly here no rain does fall
To drinking water bring.
And yet these goats look healthy as
Such nimble little beasts
You’d see some dead there in the road
As the crows do have their feast.

That be the price of progress
That poor beasts have to die
That be the curse of human beings
Sometimes it makes me cry
Yet still they be so plentiful
These handsome little guys
Another little part of nature
That make love in me rise.


Details | Ballad | |

Always Remember Tooth Paste

Tears for fears.
Tears throughout the years.
Tears that fallen from my peers.
A tear so sincere that will shred us from this dreadful fear.
That someday we all will die.
But have u gotten a slice of that pie.
A pie so delicious u can almost taste.
That u cant let it go to waste.
Maybe next time I'll remember tooth paste.


Details | Ballad | |

Zanaku, grey wolf.

He walks at night,
It sleeps by day,
Basking in the moonlight,
Or so they say,
With the form of a wolf,
And the soul of a man,
With a tale that can move,
And a mind that can plan,
With a coat of gray hair,
And eyes always crying,
People seem to care,
People are always lying,
He howls at the moon,
So desolate and sad,
Good times go too soon,
As did all that he had,
Living in the woods,
So far from redemption,
Plagued by dark thoughts,
Too many to mention,
The gray wolf walks alone,
Carrying his past,
All that he called his own,
Found it hard to last,
Staring at the clouds,
And standing in their rain,
Find no relief from his constant pain,
Such a doleful look,
Calls on the heart to bleed,
Life gave and then it took,
All that he came to need,
So he rises to go,
Lonely, though no one cares,
As if they didn't know,
Lone wolves don't come in pairs.


Details | Ballad | |

Listen

Listen to the buzzing, in your ears,
Listen to the humming, of your fears,
Listen to the baby, crying inside,
Listen to the pleading, in your lover's eyes.
Listen to the music, you have never played,
Listen to the sinner, who's never been saved.
Listen to the empty, silence of your mind,
Listen to the whispers, of man kind.
Listen to the never, heard nor seen,
Listen to the listener, who has never been.
Listen to the monkey, you know you really are,
Listen to the wise man, who's never been that far.
Listen to the dying, crying man,
Listen to the bottle, buried in the sand.
Listen to meaning, you never really meant,
Listen to the letter, you never really sent.
Listen to the lovers, who loved another one,
Listen to the brothers, torturing their mum.
Listen to the noisy, who never say a thing,
Listen to the silent, crying deep within.
Listen to the never, ever really said,
Listen to the dead man, laying in his bed.
Listen to the flying, dying man,
Listen to the solid, only made of sand,
Listen to the night time, they told you that was day,
Listen to the meaning, they stole an took away.
Listen to the singer, who never made a sound,
Listen to the thunder, in the lightning cloud.
Listen to the voices, you never hear within,
Listen to the last train's whistle, whistling.


Details | Ballad | |

CHILD UNBORN

On a cold and bleak November day in a lonely
Deserted place a child unborn in its sanctuary
Lies asleep like a bud soon to bloom
A sacred gift, priceless, unique 
For a world that is rapidly dying

On a cold and bleak November day 
A mother's scent will it ever know
No special bond with another soul
No joyful offering of 'thanks', nor smiles, 
Nor welcome kisses that warm the heart


On a cold and bleak November day, the sky 
Draped in blankets of gray, hung low 
Over the horizon marked by fresh-fallen snow
An innocent life is taken in some unholy place
As consciences lay bound and silenced

On a cold and bleak November day, 
Freewill, once more misused, hovered 
In the shadows abused and clothed in shame 
Bore witness to one of many horrors   
The deliberate murder of the Innocents

On a cold and bleak November day a  hush  falls over Heaven
The Son of God pleads mercy as He alone dares to speak
God looks upon His only Son, once again, His anger subsides 
A new day is ordained-another chance to choose
A priceless gift to save the world some cold bleak day
 


Details | Ballad | |

A child weeps for his Father

Oh Father,
Why have you forsaken me?
Why have you died without taking me?

Hereby I kneel,
Bitterly weeping with painful lament.
Your blood is pouring as a waterfall
All over the spleen of my hands,
And you've left me with just a gun by my side. 

Oh I am alleged with despair,
In this winter cold,
This war that never ceases to dotage,
Neither will give up its greed for more.
I would rather wait until the guards come
Who are guarding the bodies of the fallen
To shoot me in the head forevermore,
Rather than run for my life
Because I am not afraid,
To die in this God-forsaken world.

The gun that awaits by your side,
I eagerly feel to point it at the enemy,
All sorts of thoughts,
Agitating through my mind.

What shall it be? 
Should I avenge my father's death,
Or should I run for the sake of my life?
I'm to young to die,
But that doesn't stop me.
For I loved my Father,
And now I'm left with no one by my side. 

The guards enter,
I grab the gun with agitation,
With drops of sorrow coming forth from my eyes,
Dropping on the gun as the rain falls upon the sun,
My semblance covered with sorrow and wrath.

I shot at the enemy,
But I was shot first,
And as Christ was nailed,
I fall.

And hereby I lie down,
looking up the sky forsaken and forlorn,
blood pouring forth from my chest,
until my blood touches the dust of the earth,
I drop one more tear,
before I die,
And hereby I can finally rest,
with you, Father by my side.


Details | Ballad | |

Candlelight Flames Flickered in Fall - part 2

Candlelight Flames Flickered in Fall ~ part 2

Strip me in your ways today
Naked, dancing~ In this Rain
Strip me of this pain away
Naked, prancing, gaining fame
Strip me with your golden eyes
Your golden hair
Your golden stare
Strip me naked in the Rain
Strip me naked I so dare

Dancing & Dancing
So beautiful you stand
Dancing & Prancing
Our love in the sand
Dancing this Dance
A little late ~ 6-11 slammed

So scream for me in God's Name
Taking this pain~ A spiraling divine
Scream for me in God's Name
Fuqqed and preached slow ticking to unwind
Scream for me today as you
Make me Rock & Roll
You penetrate my soul
Forever we will go
Unclean we fiend for more

Dream all this away~ as we bleed,,masturbate this hole
Dream all this today, for together we'll " Stay Gold"
Dream & dream away ~ Little treasure cut me clean
Dream of her this way ~ Filthy pleasure ~ Lost control

So strip me naked in the Rain
Strip me, rape me~ So insane
Strip me, take me~ Play me, Friend
Kill me, fill me, this twist, a broken fist
Fuqqed me hard ~ So slit this wrist
A "fuq Me" card
So fuq~ I missed
So fuqqing hard and then we kissed

BURN ~ These Candlelight Flames Away
BURN ~ These Candles tonight for today
BURN ~ These Candles ~ And never stay away 

A lust list whispered understands
Her face so weathered, take my hand
A life so severed understands
Our love so pleasured rolled in sand
Our love so treasured ~ Destined plan

Cuz ~ In my psycho world
She's my psycho girl
My lyrics cold jam
And she's my psycho world

And in this letter to you
She's so much better than you
I wrote this letter, it's true
She's so much better than you

   by Christian Alexander


Details | Ballad | |

Without You (Song)

Daylight fade,
Burning through my eyes,
She walked out of my life
Again, I'm feeling low,
One more time girl here we go,
Now I'm falling, a final time,
Wish the sunlight didn't shine

It's getting critical
But girl I just can't help it,
I'm feeling miserable
Without you I'm so helpless,
I can't even sleep
Don't want to be, without you,
It's getting hard to breathe,
There is no me, without you,

And baby I try and try
to let you go,
The more I fight,
The more I know,
There's nothing in this life,
I want to do,
Without you,

Passing days,
I try to ease my mind,
I want make it this time,
because, she's really gone,
Lying here I'm all alone,
with nothing, to comfort me,
I'm hanging on to memories,

It's getting critical
But girl I just can't help it,
I'm feeling miserable
Without you I'm so helpless,
I can't even sleep
Don't want to be, without you,
It's getting hard to breathe,
There is no me, without you,


And baby I try and try
to let you go,
The more I fight,
The more I know,
There's nothing in this life,
I want to do,
Without you,

It's getting critical,
Girl I just can't help it,

There's nothing
in this life,
I want to do,
Without you


Details | Ballad | |

Life As We Know It

Sometimes we wonder why we are even here on this earth.  With all the heartache, pain, and strife.  We ask ourselves why we have to go through these things.  We often ask what exactly we did to deserve for these things to happen.  There is no easy explanation.  Life, Love and Understanding is complicated. You can wait your whole life for that one chance for things to go your way, for things to fall into place.  Yet, when you think they have it can often just be a facade...a trick if you will.  We are left to pick up the pieces of what we once called our life.  Then you are left asking yourself...WAS IT ALL REALLY WORTH IT????  Our answer may be yes and it may be no.  It's hard to tell where the "chips may fall".  All the tears we shed, that fall down like rain in a storm.  When we love, most of us love with all of our heart, OUR SOUL, OUR WHOLE BEING.


Details | Ballad | |

Without You

If I was granted just one wish
A wish that might come true
I’d wish with all my heart and soul
For yesterday and you
If only I could turn back time
I’d go back to the start
If only you could hold me 
While I slowly fall apart
Questions left unanswered
So many words unsaid
Letters that I wrote will now 
Forever go unread
Why you went I’ll never know...or 
Why you had to die...or
Why you had to leave me
Why you never said goodbye
Looking to my future
All I see is pain and sorrow
Without you I’m shattered
Without you there’s no tomorrow
Without you I’m so alone
I don’t know where I’m bound
Without you I’m lost…
Without you I can’t be found
However dark the nights
I’m told the sun will rise again…but
How can I see sunshine
When my world’s so full of pain
Please don’t leave me here alone
Please kiss away my fears
Lee, I need you with me
Please come home and dry my tears
Hold me hun, just one more time
The way I used to know
I need to feel you here
I’m just not ready to let go
I miss your face..your smile..your touch
I miss your many charms
Days are long ..my nights are cold
Not being in your arms
But ...what I miss the most is when
I look at you and see
The love I know you're feeling
When you’re looking back at me
I know I must be strong now
For this mountain I must climb
But how do I survive without
The love of my life time
You wasn’t just my husband
But my friend and lover too
And no one in this world 
Will ever take the place of you..


For Lee...the love of my life..
I will miss you forever

Your wife...Bree x












Details | Ballad | |

The joy of the pheasant shoot

The joy of the pheasant shoot.

Getting set for the big event
The good folk do their stuff
They beat the earth with sticks, do they?
With their little dogs so tough 
They flush those pheasants from the scrub
So all can have some fun
Killing them with smiling faces
As they fire beloved guns.

Then as the pheasants in a panic
They bolt into the sky
Our hero’s with their guns in hand
Make sure that hundreds die
As the air is filled with the cracking sounds
As birds fall all around
Just so these fools can get there jollies
These corpses cover ground.

I wonder sometimes if these hero’s
Have any souls at all
That they could get such satisfaction
Doing these acts so cruel
Sometimes it leaves me speechless
At the way folk get their pleasure
Killing beauty just for fun
Is an ugly kind of leisure.

10 September 2013 @ 1340hrs




Details | Ballad | |

to know

No one seems to understand 
Why I can’t let you go. 
If only it were that easy 
And there were things I didn’t know

I’ve looked into my heart 
Blessed and broken though it is 
I still see you in there 
Like a mirror of a wish 

Your picture still resides 
In the eyes of my mind 
Perhaps a fond remembrance 
Of someone I’ll never find… 

Is there a problem, child? 
Why do you cry so soon? 
Is there a hidden secret 
Laying dark inside your room?

I think I understand 
Why you had to leave 
But it doesn’t make the pain 
Any easier to grieve 

Each tick of the clock 
Life’s minute passes by 
One more song to sing 
Another question “why” 

Someday seems so far away 
When time goes so slow 
A melody of soft restraint 
Wonders what there is to know… 


Details | Ballad | |

Veterans day, My Dad served

Note not sent To My Dad on Veteran’s Day:
A letter you wrote , I found
in Old Uncle Laurie’s house.
You were young, Seventeen
You wrote of things to come

War
And fear
And your new car.
Nam ate your soul
Mangled
You
Stupid war, Johnson’s shout at glory.
Our beautiful hero died too young
The damn war never would’ve come
If  Their  machine hadn’t killed him.
You
heeded
Johnson’s summon
Answered their call
Over the
Sea

Voodoos and Jesus nuts
Medic up, man down
Punjis and pissed pants
Wet and rotting stench
You came home.  But did you come back?


 


Details | Ballad | |

Time to Add More Love

The world's just not the same
This empire in decline
Roses don't smell as sweet
Only grow half their size

And I say....

Baby, doesn't it make you feel sad inside?

And I say...

Baby, doesn't it make you want to cry?

Let's protect ourselves 
From the coming flood
Won't need no bullets
Just our shield of love

Let's protect ourselves
From the coming storm
Won't need no raincoats
While love keeps us warm

Time to put more wood
On the dying fire
Of hope

Time to add more love
Gonna raise this
Sinking boat

And I say....

Baby, doesn't it make you feel sad inside?

And I say....

Baby doesn't it make you want to cry?

You're all I need
To get through this 
Doom and gloom
Your love for me
And my love for you.


Details | Ballad | |

Through the Years

I know I had to let you go
To be with God above
But one thing I will always have, forever 
Is your love
It’s been there through our ups and downs
Through smiles and laughter too
Through good and bad, through tears and fears
Our love remained so true
Through the years when things were tough
Or anything went wrong
Together we would work it out
Together we stood strong
Through the years you cared for me
You loved me every day
Through the years when I got lost
You helped me find my way 
Through the years when I was sad
You held me while I cried
Through the years, you’ve been my love
My strength, my rock, my guide
Sometimes when I'm all alone
I close my eyes and pray
That God will give you back to me
Just for one more day
So I could tell you one more time
How much I love you so
So I could hold you just once more
Before I let you go
I miss you every morning
Every night and every day
I’d give all my tomorrows
For just one more yesterday
I always knew how blessed I was
To have you in my life
Always I will wear your ring
I’ll always be your wife
I know I must be strong now 
For this mountain I must climb
To face a world without the man
Who always will be mine
I know you’re always here with us 
Our children feel it too
And no one else will ever have 
The love we gave to you
I know you're up in Heaven 
And to God, you now belong
But part of you stays here..
For in your sons…you still live on..




Details | Ballad | |

rain

As I stand here in the rain,
The raindrops fall on me and wash away all my pain.
I am the thunder and you are the lightning.


You know who you are and to me that's exciting.
The laughter we share, the memories I have.
Love is growing between us. It has to be said.
Our hearts and minds becoming entwined.
Bound to each other, never to let go.
Then, why are you leaving, distressing me so.
"I'll be back soon darling" you whisper. " Please let me go".
I smile and let go of your hand. My heart is breaking but you will never know.    
" Wait for me" you say as you wave me goodbye.  
My heart is heavy, the tears fall.
The rain comes harder, let it pour.


Details | Ballad | |

Sad Love Songs

One note
One word
One tune
One line

Brings smiles
Brings tears
Brings joys
Brings pains

Still, I listen.


Details | Ballad | |

Election day

Election Day

Last week was our election
It’s been going on for weeks
From the space where I was standing
It all looked kind of bleak
The chance of labor leaders
Getting the ruling hand
There’d been some inside fighting
They weren’t looking too grand.

But when I thought about it
It didn’t really matter
All these fools, it seems to me
Are only noisy chatter
They promise this, they promise that
And then what do they do?
Nothing, absolutely naught
They say is ever true?

So anyway I was lucky
What by accident, I done
Was muck up on the valet sheet
I failed on every one
Of those boring little boxes
That were staring up at me
But I really did not want to vote
So it was meant to be.

11 September 2013@1720hrs.



Details | Ballad | |

Deirdre

 
Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? I can sence her embrace that feels like Tragedy A heart to have, slipped beneath the waves The dark pulse now beckons us closer How many days will this passion bleed away? We will be the ones left to blame Beware we’ve become their prey They say you’re addicted to your pain A lifeless cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper too close to the edge A call from the dark Brings out a saving spark An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? “My Decadence was just for you Though you’d never care what I’ve been through Enter the world were empathy is clandestine A world created by you, just for me What’s Lying in my heart is why You want to through the stone” I call your name towards nightfall’s reign But they take you so far away A dark angel so divine Cursed by Eden’s heart I will avenge every tear An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone?


Details | Ballad | |

The forest of grief

The forest of grief:

At night I can hear the pain filled screams coming from the forest of grief. Longing, despair, and terror seeps in from the thick tree line into my bedroom window.

Their inhuman wails send chills down the nap of my neck rendering me unable to move. 

“What horrible events accrued inside this desolate place?”

No vegetation, growth, or life exist.
Only the suffering from distant pasts.
Time itself seems to be halted by the walls of the dense forest that shelter its ghostly inhabitants.

“Do they know death?
Do they know of the life they once led or can they even hear their own horror filled cries?

I do, I feel every heart breaking emotion as I lay in wait for dawn to break.”

There is no rest for them or me, the lonely women who tends the forest of grief.


Details | Ballad | |

I'll Never Get Over You

If only I had seen it coming 
But I never knew
The day before you left me
I had one more day with you
If only I could turn back time
And bring back yesterday
If only I could tell you
All the things I need to say
If only I could hold you close
And kiss you just once more
If only I could see you smile 
As you walk through that door
Walking down this lonely road
Lost, alone and sad
Holding onto memories and dreams 
That we once had
I need you here to guide me 
For I know I’ll lose my way
Without you I’ll crumble 
Without you I’m not ok
I still don’t understand the reason 
Why you had to leave
I don’t know how to deal with this
I don’t know how to grieve
Looking in the mirror
I still see you in my eyes
And always I will love you
Because true love never dies
Everything I feel inside
Gets stronger everyday
The love that’s in my heart for you
Will never fade away
Everything we shared
And all the memories made together
Will live within my heart and soul
They'll stay with me forever
As long as there is night and day
As long as skies are blue
As long as stars still shine so bright 
I’ll never get over you...



By Raina Hutchins


Details | Ballad | |

Better Luck Next Time

My heart...can you find it?
I can't feel it in my chest
Ever since the emotional hit
Leaving me months of unrest

You'll be fine, better luck next time

Every woman looks like the same
Decent hair, poor skin and a sight of breast
Nothing but another bland dame
Why can't I simply just rest?

You'll be fine, better luck next time

Lying alone in bed waiting
my supportive roommates in love surround me
I can't bear the noise as I'm debating
What is next in life for me?

You'll be fine, better luck next time

....oh shut up


Details | Ballad | |

A Broken Fairytale

Once upon a time, 
Almost 6 years ago,
A boy met a girl
With his best friend in toe.
This boy and this girl
Became young love in its essence.
His best friend became what some would call
Her own personal hidden blessing.
His devotion for his friend
Couldn't quite bring him to confess,
But he cared about that girl enough,
To warn her of future distress.

After 3 long years,
Of the back and forth romance,
Their young love finally ended,
The girl was broken hearted and defenceless.
She had given her all
To someone who was only willing to take it.
The best friend tried to warn her,
But she couldn't see her lover fake it.

A year would pass,
Before the best friend would find,
His best friend's ex,
The one he longed to say was "mine".
A birthday of hers
Was his golden opportunity.
When he missed her night out,
He offered to take her to a movie.
She wrestled with the thought:
Do I open that door?
She kept pushing it off,
Until she couldn't avoid it anymore.
Neither one of them expected,
Or even could dream
Of all that would come
From one night, one movie.

A love affair of sorts,
Filled with constant ups and downs,
But despite their best efforts,
They couldn't help but stick around.
A year and 2 months
Of the greatest love that ever lived,
Was shared between these two,
Who were only just kids.
Neither one of them was ready,
They didn't know what to do,
They loved so deeply,
But this experience was so new.
A girl with a broken heart,
With no sense of true self worth,
Met a boy with a broken heart,
And the desire to move forth,
With her by his side,
Forever hand in hand,
Yet she felt she didn't deserve him,
And did what she could: she ran.

Now her love for him consumes her,
But his heart is in pieces.
Now he's too afraid of her
But his love he swears never ceases.
And she cries herself to sleep at night,
For the best friend she hurt foolishly.
And she prays for their future together,
The one he says can never be.


Details | Ballad | |

My Forever Shining Star

All the oceans in the world 
Can’t hold the tears I’ve cried
Nothing in this world  
Can take away this pain inside

I can’t believe you’re gone from me 
I can’t believe its true
I never wanted memories
I only wanted you

I miss the little things you said
Those words that meant so much
I miss your eyes, your laugh, your smile
I miss your every touch

I miss you every morning
Every night and every day
I’d give all my tomorrows
For just one more yesterday

When they asked what words I want 
Engraved upon your stone
The only words that I could say
Were ‘darling please come home’

You were my every reason
My hopes and all my dreams
Someone to believe in
When I questioned what life means

Always there to guide me
My forever shining star
I’d give my all to have you here
Or be there where you are

In a world of changes
It’s the soul that never dies
In a world of strangers 
I still see me in your eyes

This pain will never go away 
My shattered heart wont mend
Lonely days and empty nights 
Are now my only friend

But if you’re looking down from up in Heaven 
You will see
That part of you forever more 
Will be a part of me...


By Raina Hutchins



Details | Ballad | |

School Bus Tragedy

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Im here to tell you a story.
                                 Its sad and its true.
                                 I met a girl along the way,
                                 She looked a lot like you.

                                I would see her on the bus going to school,
                                Her eyes were o so blue.
                                Each time she would look my way ,
                                My heart would come unglued.

                                We became very close friends,
                                I saved my money and bought a ring.
                                As i put it on her finger,
                                My heart felt like it could sing.

                                It all came to an end one Friday afternoon,
                                The school bus blew a tire.
                                The driver lost controll of the bus,
                                It rolled and caught on fire.

                                Kids were screaming , let me out,
                                But the doors would not open.
                                As i looked around for my close friend,
                                She had fallen, her neck was broken.

                                It was on that day , my heart did break,
                                I had lost my closest friend.
                                Now i ride the bus alone,
                                Trying to comprehend.

                                As i look out the school bus window,
                                At times i can still see her blue eyes.
                                It makes me feel so sad inside,
                                We never got a chance, to even say good bye.


Details | Ballad | |

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nothing gold can stay.
Sometimes u find it slips away,
Something close that u can touch,
But in the end it was to much,
Like a flood flowing through a city,
Life is hard when u live in pity,
Things may be good but turn bad,
Sometimes it makes u really sad,
Days and nights may go,
Just have to live life nice and slow,
Maybe somethings may not be right,
Its never good to pick a fight,
Sometimes u find it slips away,
Nothing gold can stay.


Details | Ballad | |

In Your Eyes

 I looked into your eyes . Saw your pain .
It was no surprise . I knew what you’d been through…

I saw you cut, Blood on the floor .
Life passing you by, Your now a shell of you.

He took it away . Bit at a time . Even came back for more…
That man of no use, Who stole your youth .

How did it happen, When did it begin .
Lost in a world, Of times and dates…
Where, when and why me you asked ?

Nobody knew, Not even you, Too young to remember.
What he took , Was it real . The monsters hurt .
You try so hard, Too young to understand.

They sent you away, They never knew…
You begged to stay, They didn’t listen.
Nobody believed, What you tried to say .

To be hurt by so many, Didn’t make sense .
Your youth was gone, He stole it from you .
You done nothing wrong .

He took your youth . Don’t let him win.
 He took away your child hood . Left you in fear…

Don’t give him your adulthood too.
Open your eyes and see 


Details | Ballad | |

Siren's Song

She’s alone under beach lights, she’s screaming at air
wishing someone would notice, could anyone hear,
feel the anguish, the loss, losing battle of one?
She’s at war with the world and she’s comming undone.
‘It’s all wrong,’ left her lips, ‘it’s alright,’ said the tides,
‘sometimes we all need a safe place to hide,
to wait inside shadows, return with new light
cause we change and we change till the patterns are right.’
‘But this pounding resounding inside of my head,
I fear is the only thing tangible left.
I can hear it and feel it consuming my head,
eats me up from the inside, lays nothing to rest.’
But the water just turned and it crashed upon rocks,
became angry, determined, climbed onto the dock,
said, ‘Listen to me, I am old and I am wise,
what reason have I to fill you with lies?
I’m a part of your body, a piece of your world,
have I not kept you living since you were a girl?’
But her feet kept on forward at a steady pace
“I’m sick and I'm tired, I'm leaving this place.
I can wait no longer for the turning of time.
I'm the only one left and I’ve been left behind.”
‘But they’re here! Someone’s coming! It won’t be long yet.”
but her mind was as certain as certain could get
and the rushing of water had drown out the sound
as the pounding inside became heavy and loud
and the water, though angry, then grew very still
whispered ‘There is nothing if nothing is fueling a will.
I cannot instill a desire to live, eventual peace is all I could give.’
So she sank and she sang all the air from her lungs,
she breathed in the waves awaited silence to come.
“As I have in you, you may now flow through me,”
and the tides changed again as they dragged her to sea.


Details | Ballad | |

O MYSTERIOUS SEA...

O mysterious sea...as light
as the eyes of my faithful sweet-heart,
inspire the distant soul
of this poet in distraught...
whose poem is still unfinished;
give him the rhythm and flow
to embellish his heart-felt verse
with sentiment and thoughtfulness!

Beyond the rolling waves,
ships carry secret lovers
who deride and defy their fate 
and set their souls on fire...
without feeling a need in dire,
or admitting an awful mistake!

O mysterious sea...
take their ship away
to a shore where nobody will see,
and let their fornication be 
as crude as the awakening
of everyone who's not afraid of indulging;   
I will take no part or joy
in their pleasure so openly and willingly! 

Could I forget that she ever existed, or
ever loved me with trust and sweetness?
Wouldn't it be unforgivable and wrong...
to waste what was blessed by holiness?
In this era of unfaithfulness,
many choose to do harm to someone else...
thinking only of self-gratification,
breaking the vows of dedication!

O mysterious sea as deep as the love
of my changeless woman,
who contemplates every sunset and dawn
with the purity of a dove:
let no beautiful eyes deceive me,
and sadly erase the innocence of her memory!



Details | Ballad | |

Lonely Teardrops

Keeping it deep inside
 
lonely tears i have cried
 
wanting a touch
 
of you're tender hand
 
knowing you will be there
 
every night
 
when mine eyes close
 
aching for that moment
 
to call out you're name
 
you feel it too
 
Keeping it deep inside
 
a thousand teardops
 
i have cried
 
yearing needing knowing
 
you will be there.
 
Dawn Mclaughlin @Dawn2012.


Details | Ballad | |

All Alone, 11-19-09

Mommy, I know I left you here.

Ring ring went the phone,

Little did we know never again would I answer

Ring ring went the phone.

 

I was eating breakfast when

Open slammed the door,

That morning how strongly I would have denied

I would end up on the floor.

 

I tried to scream, Mom, I really did.

But he had me. . .

He used my garden tools to beat me.

He had me.

 

Those tools used to bring me so much joy,

But his purpose was to aid him.

I had loved greeting visitors with garden so green

It's not the tools' fault though, I don't blame them.

 

I shielded my face with my hand,

But soon that was broken. . .

The simple trowel was my doom,

All too soon, my face shattered and broken. . .

 

There was blood everywhere;

Mom I was so scared.

To stop fighting though,

I never dare.

 

The sleek black laptop I had

Been given for Christmas

Which held all of my

Favorite pictures of us,

 

With it and my purse,

He ran away,

Not knowing I wouldn't

Be here today.

 

The white-washed walls

Of the hospital room

Only all too well reminded

Me of Amontillado's tomb.

 

I left you in the hospital

Though.  All alone. . .

They caught him, have comfort,

Even if you're alone.

 

I'm sorry Mommy,

I didn't want to go. . .

But who ever gets a choice?

I had to go.

 

How little did we know, that

One day, ring ring,

Never again would I answer

That phone, ring ring.


Details | Ballad | |

Magic City

I grew up with an understanding
that magic lived in a city
of blue lights and coveted sin,
that men were built to be
senseless steel buildings
tall enough to shoulder any storm
but too condescending to shed a tear
they they will continue to be
the knight in shining amour 
as long as the darkness
does not fade
and that for as long as you
shall say yes, they will stay
But this woman
is too robust to care
she locked her feelings
in her heart and fed the key
to the furnace
but caring isn't exactly
something you can contain
if it becomes too much
it lurks through the peep holes
and key holes
then finds the next taxi
to the city of magic
and even becomes the demon's
advocate.
So on most days she finds
herself bed strapped 
and longing to know him
to breathe his air and maybe even
hear him talk
a whisper out of this man
jubilates her soul and sends
an after shock twitch through her
Now imagine what his touch
can do, but sadly
he wears rubber gloves
with thermal absorbers
and makes him cold
with a fire that glows only
from his eyes...
...she should buy a heater....


Details | Ballad | |

Ballad

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away— I met the person whom I shall love. It was summer season—in the month of May, when I found my dearest dove— my life; my beloved; my prized; my cherished with no name. In that land far, far away, surrounded by the seas, by the name of Puerto Prinsesa, we tasted the sweet scent of its breeze— I and my cherished with no name— as little seraphs of heaven sang in bliss. Stealing glances, that’s all we had in that land far, far away; and also in stealing glances, our tale has ended, as we witnessed ourselves falling away. The sun never rises without bringing me trances of my cherished with no name; the wind always whistles but I never had the chance to hear the voice of my cherished with no name; and so, my heart desires of revisiting our land far, far away— to bring me back to the scenes, to bring me back to my once upon a time that my yearning heart once has seen.
Author's Note: Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe's Annabel Lee


Details | Ballad | |

An Escape From You

Can I stop the sobs
Am I strong enough
To escape their evil
To deny what’s real

I ask myself why God would
Stick me in this jail, my own hell
So if I get help I might not feel
My own manic episodes, this is real

Am I bleeding
Am I seeing the truth
Or is it just a way
To deny my love for you

They say 
Just pop a pill
To numb 
All that can’t heal

Can I stop the sobs
Am I strong enough
To escape their evil
To deny what’s real

Is it delaying the problem
Is it sticking a bandage
On a broken arm
Am I covering the truth
Is it an escape from you

I have no idea
If it’s the right thing to do
But all I know is
I must forget you

So I’ll take this bitter pill
And I’ll conceal my inner hell 
Cause it’s all I can do
To stop loving  you


Details | Ballad | |

Summertime in Malibu

Summertime in Malibu




	Laying on the bed completely naked, 
Watching the moon and drinking my Martini,
	How I wish to have you at this moment, my summertime.
Without change anything except our bodies,
	Our lips, our way of standing by one soul,
Hoping for a unseen love so beautiful, so pebbly off,
	For a night and a day I can fall into these mountainous thoughts, and carry myself away into this nothingness
			As they say it...


	Ah, where are you, summertime? Where?
Under the widen edge of my bed, transfixed by more
	Revelation, to your eyes closed, where the spirit
Wept in the darkness, telling me I am so unappeasable
	To be carried without wonder?

No tears came from my eyes: the lovely flood of living,
	When I froze the tranquil wave of the waiting
Pain of this imperial love that he had given
			From inside me, I closed my legs --Oop!
			My eyes and I go to sleep.


Details | Ballad | |

MATED

If only It were easy for me to part from thee

to go back to a time afore I knew you

ere your beauty and your love were forever in my heart branded

times together in my mind forever treasured, the beauty of you in my soul forever mated


Leaving nothing of all your immediate reminders.

A caress of flames to engulf me

And warm my cold loneliness,

A moment of bliss to bid me farewell

Without ire or regret


Though I cannot claim from thee my heart anymore than I can claim the moon from the skies for your love.


The heart wants what it wants and I cannot even begin to grasp the reasons neither can I fathom the depths of these alien feelings,

Only that should I lose you after I've just found you, I ....cannot imagine going on.


Details | Ballad | |

My First Son

You just came into this world cold and bleak of your father/ 
But you made my life mean even more ever since your sister my baby daughter/ 
You make life upon soul as a man out in the desert that needs water/ 
I'm a full-time daddy now so there is no room for my mistekes to let me faulter/
 
I know I ain't the best daddy in the world son but I will do my best 
I know alcohol can bring me down but son you just being born makes me want out this mess/
 I want something better for you than me when you are ready to leave daddy's little nest/
 I sometimes just sit here and watch your sweet little stomach go up and down with every breath/
 
You are so innocent and I am so guilty of being a sinner/ 
I'm working on being a saint but how can I when all I do is let alchol be my only winner/
 My addiction gets thicker as my liver and kidney's continue to get thinner/ 
I just want to be able to support you son with clothing, a home and an every night dinner/
 
I love you son, I really do/ 
So I must help myself past these self-made lies and do what is right and true/ 
I'm still an alcoholic and addict in a crazy rez life game where I always seem to lose/
 But with your birth I can start anew/ 
I got big time father responsibilities now to where it will forever affect the choices that I choose/
 
You my first and only son/ 
As of now your my only one/ 
I look forward to our times of hardship and the times when we have fun/ 
I was at a slow walking pace but because of your birth it got my mind on the run/
 In LOVE you NOW and FOREVER because your My First Son. 





Details | Ballad | |

The Phantom of Menace

Hidden beneath the surface behind a masked disguise, The truth about my Prince Charming was veiled in his eyes. So full of Love and Kindness so quick to lend a hand, Everybody loves him they'd never understand. Gifts of love and flowers after another fight, I really must provoke him I know that he is right. Adorning me with his love he does show tenderness. As long as I obey his every need we'll live in happiness. He makes me feel special Though at times I feel so bad I really dont mean to do it but I know I make him mad. I know that he really loves me but I mustn't disobey, I just want to make him happy I know no other way. He does patches up the marks though my face he will not touch, So no one else see's that I disobey him that much. He's good at hiding our secret So no one else know our flaws. He's loved by all who know him And though I love him it does hurt. I sometimes wonder why But he does it so to teach me still it always make me cry. There are times that I hate him for pain and the bruises no one see's. Although I know he loves me so Why does he do it to me? Maybe one day I would learn how not to decieve or disobey Oh how it must make him feel and why I must always pay. No one else suspects it For he never marks my face To them he's a friend to all to me, The Phantom of Menace.


Details | Ballad | |

I dreamed addiction

Trying to walk down a blood striken street,
not easy with bare feet,
I looked at the floor in a daze,
dazed and confused,
and totally bemused,
frost bite in my frozen bue and greyish toes,
I started to glare at myselfin the distant dim street lamp,
a shadow of my former self,
skeletal, malnourished,
my broken heart skipped a beat.

I sunk to the floor,
ashamed, terrified, at what I had become,
my lonely addiction fueled mornings turned to day's,
day's turned to night's,
to week's,
to month's,
to years's,
Is this what my life had become,
amounted to,
life on the dingy streets,
sticky, damp, cardboard boxes,
wet, soiled blankets,
and can's of gone off stale ale,

A white horse,
a charger,
could this be my happy ever after.

 


Details | Ballad | |

Last Days in Maine

I am powerless in mind and within my body,
This alcohol has got me down and I am paralyzed,
The world in which I call home cannot be analyzed,
All through this drink, with this I have declared my hobby.

My Friends do not respect me to which I cannot blame,
I am depressed beyond recognition and with it I feel shame,
Years without and years repressed and years I call lame,
Not one happy relationship, not with family or dame.

Salvation is coming and I keep telling myself bleakly,
Each day my sanity goes through hoops only to survive meekly,
The end has only that alcohol to calm my stress,
This alcohol feels as if I am saved from the rest.

I'm almost there and almost free from this asylum,
My friends around seem to care not even some,
I'm losing the fight even when both sides are done,
Three days until I'm home again...any longer and my life be gone.

(I survived and am now much healthier)


Details | Ballad | |

Discovery

Mr Wise Man, show me the way
I can't keep walking into walls all day

Quitting jobs wasn't easy but the reasons we're wrong
I felt like I was feeding King Kong
Left my life to help those that need it
Got mistreated, left, all to repeat it

The lessons are eternal they won't ever change,
That's your gift to me so that I won't be deranged.
So now that I have gotten better please give me my strength
My life is something that is losing it's length.

Mr Wise Man, show me the way
I can't keep walking into walls all day

Tolerance has always been my strongest feature,
Made me forget about every evil creature.
Test my limits all you want, I know it's vital
That is all a case of survival.

I don't know why I just keep trying
In the end I know I'll be dying.
My faith has been put to test
A test that will put me to rest

All the worlds I've been to
All the places I've gone through
Every single man woman and child
Every single one would make another mild

Stronger than the rest
This should make me the best
Or maybe it's best I don't know
Maybe it's best I just go

So Mr Wise Man, don't show me the way
I can't keep walking into walls all day

I'll walk my own path


Details | Ballad | |

lost souls

There we were driving down the road.
I said I love you and I meant it,
you sought my hand and took it.
There we were holding hands like two lost souls 
who don't know where to go.

I feel forgotten,
so lost,
nothing left to be strong for
maybe I'll give in...
to what?
I don't know,
anything that tempts a lost soul.

And you,
even your bones are sad
your very veins cry and yet...
you make plans
to fall in love,
move on.
I'm so...forgettable.

I may be lost
but at least I'm aware.

You don't know what to be
and you pretend to not grieve
as I cry behind my sunglasses
at the lucky fields who don't miss their mother.

Saw a mother 
pushing her child
on their homemade tire swing
and I was jealous.
My very heart turned green.
I wish it was me.
I wish it was me.

Five months and twenty four days.
Five months and twenty four days.

Never been away from her that long.
If she were pregnant it would be starting to show
oh
why do I think of such things?

Her Sunday drives to the beach.
Her Dad's cigar getting her sister in trouble.
Hearing God's name for the first time.
Falling in love when she met you.

Someone,anyone:
tell me it won't be longer.
Tell me it won't be much longer.


Details | Ballad | |

The Confession

She knelt down beside him, 
His face appeared torn as his eyes pierced the ground 
He had a secret to tell her. 
Angeline's eyes wandered towards his ring, 
She remembered their vows 
Seemed like an eternity now. 

He gently held her hands 
Just as he had done way back then, 
His sullen glance met with her confused glare. 
Henry knew his deceit would silently tell, 
He remembered their love 
Seemed just as well.


Details | Ballad | |

rest, tiger, hurt

from birth you’re taught to fight and kill
to always get your prey.
you track and stalk, but be still
lest she get away.
and though you check the wind for scent,
oh, you must be clever.
for still you stop to shade your eyes,
because nothing fights forever.

so rest, tiger, hurt with me
and let me stroke your fur.
for just as sure as you can growl,
i know that you can purr.

and yes, you’re strong! and yes you’re proud!
and yes, you leave me speechless!
but know this, my fierce, fierce friend,
like me you have a weakness.
your teeth are sharp, your claws more so,
you’re bred to rise above.
but what i chase is sharper still,
and nothing hurts like love.

so rest, tiger, hurt with me,
and let me stroke your fur.
for just as sure as you can growl,
i know that you can purr.

i wont ask much, i promise you.
who cares how this will end.
for here, and now, i’m hurt more
by those i called my friends.
so share your shade, and share your seat
with this foolish stranger.
i’ll play nice, one more time,
though i know the danger.

so rest, tiger, hurt with me,
lets watch the sun just swell.
and you can growl, or you can purr.
but i will talk of hell.


Details | Ballad | |

alcoholics ballard

A bitter and twisted tale to follow,
everyday the same as tommorw,
same old madness that will follow,
empty dreams and a heart that's hollow.

Ill begin each day the usual way,
look in the mirror and see decay,
a hopeless soul is what they say,
still dressed in the clothes of yesterday.

I sit on my bed with no real plans,
except for liquid, to steady my hands,
frantically search my bedsit floor,
till i find what i'm looking for.

A half empty can of a real strong beer,
lost under the bed for maybe a year,
sit back on the bed with ergency and speed,
can to my lips for the liquid i need.

with every swallow the shakes dissapear,
twenty four hours till again the'll appear,
with ergency for more i head for the door,
checking my pockets to reveal my last score.


Now out on the street i encounter a stranger,
paranoid feelings as if my life were in danger,
stare at the floor to avoid eye contact,
and focus my attention on my beer contract.


as i walk i scan the floor for butts,
so i dont waste money on buying roll ups,
long ones a bonus but short ones a start,
for when i get home ill pull them apart.


arrive at the shop and drool at his stock,
calculating what i can get for my twenty spot,
eight cans of tennents and two bottles of cider,
then proceed to pay the shop minder.


the usual pleasentrys as i pay,
and as i leave he bids a good day,
with the job half done i head back to my slum,
not quite a walk and not quite a run.

arrive back home and slam the door,
just as the sweats begin to pour,
sit back on my bed place beers on the floor,
the liquid profits of my score,

drink the day back into the night,
slowly more getting as high as a kite,
drowning self sorrow and drowning self pain,
to keep myself from going insaine.

now a waste of a life i have to agree,
but i cannot deny that life was me.


Details | Ballad | |

The Turn of The Screw

There was a time I swear it’s true
When all the roads that led to you
Were leafy lanes and sunlit avenues

And every bird in every tree
Announced this joy triumphantly
The world had a perfect symmetry

It ends just like it begins
I feel the ground under me spin
Until I’m on the outside looking in

As the penny drops into a slot
It turns a key that fits a lock
And opens up a door right under me

And suddenly

I’m falling

And as all colours lose their hue
As all lines fall out of true
The only sound I can hear
Is the slow, slow turn of the screw
Is the slow, slow turn of the screw


Details | Ballad | |

One Last Time

I feel your breath upon my cheek
Your heartbeat next to mine
Cradled in your arms; but know
It’s just for one last time

I look into your eyes: you smile
That smile just breaks my heart
Lying here so close, but know
We’re really worlds apart

As I watch you sleep
A single tear falls from my eye
I know deep down your leaving me
I know this is goodbye

I close my eyes and silently
I pray to God above
That I will wake from sleeping
Still beside this man I love

As I pray he looks at me
And gently wipes my tears
He holds me in his arms
His whispers chase away my fears

He tells me that he loves me
How much to him I mean
But suddenly I realize
It’s really just a dream

For when my eyes are open 
In the cold cruel light of day
I know my prayers weren’t answered
I know he’s gone away

What do I do now
How am I supposed to feel
How do I move on
Do I bleed, or do I heal

Do I face the truth
Or do I live on lets pretend
But sadly deep inside I know 
We've reached our journeys end..



By Raina Hutchins


Details | Ballad | |

STILL WAITING

BLIND OF THE MISTAKES MADE
I'M HERE LIKE AN INNOCENT CHILD

HURT BY YOUR UNTOLD WORDS 
I'M HERE LIKE A HALF DEAD BIRD

CRYING FOR THE WALL YOU BUILT BETWEEN US
I'M HERE LIKE THE POURING CLOUD

STARTING EVERY DAY TO CHECK MY INBOX
I'M HERE LIKE A BORN SUNFLOWER

STARING AT THE PATH OF LOVE
I'M HERE ALWAYS WAITING FOR YOU....


Details | Ballad | |

Forever Love

Staring out the window
I look up to the skies
I always used to say
It was the colour of your eyes
But long are the blue skies
Now replaced by dark and grey
With clouds that rain so heavy
Ever since you went away
How do I get through the days
And nights without you near
I just don’t know where I belong
Or where to go from here
I’ll always be alone
I’ll never meet somebody new
For me there’s no one in this world
To take the place of you
We had our ups and downs
We shared the laughter and the tears
But never lost the closeness
Or the love gained through the years
I can’t describe the loneliness
I feel so incomplete
For losing you it means I've lost
The biggest part of me
How am I supposed to live
This life without my love
Why should I believe
That there is good in God above
For if there was he’d dry my tears
And heal my hurt and pain
And never would have took the love
I’ll never find again
I know there’s nothing I can do
To bring you back to me
But know, that in my memory
And my heart you’ll always be..


.By Raina Hutchins



Details | Ballad | |

Trying to Forget

On Some days I feel like giving up
On those days I enjoy drinking
And as I sit in this chair bottle in hand
My mind begins thinking

Of all the times I've sat and drank
Right in this very chair
As all the precious moments passed me by
And for so long I didn't care

But now I sit here in retrospect
My heart aches with regret
For all the things I should have cherished
I wasted while trying to forget


Details | Ballad | |

The battle within

Sparks fly in the air
Lights glow in the dark
I am gripped by fear
As my worst nightmare attacks
It's shriek pierces my soul
It's roar tests my bravery
This battle has left my control
And no one is here to save me
The air gets colder
The light gives out
The darkness gets bolder
And I'm filled with doubt
I'm standing on a bridge, hewn  from stone
It lies between the world and my mind
Now as it approaches, I'm all alone
But this demon of mine must stay confined
It must never escape from inside me
For the world cannot withstand it
And even though I may no longer be
I will do all I can to hinder it
I summon the courage I used to lack
And stand there dumbfounded
It's eyes glow a fiery glow
It's wings are made of fire
It's sinister smirk scares me so
And I know it's one desire
Huge and menacing, it comes before me
I must now perform my appointed task
'Ancient and evil you may be,
But you shall not pass.'


Details | Ballad | |

Hope in His Eyes

I once saw a man take a younger lad away
Who knows what plans he had that day

Later that evening the traps brought back a husk
A soulless silhouette of boy betrayed at dusk

The man that took him home
Was known to be harsh as stone

Beat and defiled the innocence that was once there
Now no one can even come near

I extended my hand to the shattered boy
Who mused my hand like a sharp toy

I calmed his nerves by staying with him in the room
Where the nurses and doctors spoke curses and doom

That night I read him a book to see a what magic was in store
The book was Peter Pan and Neverland Lore

In his slumber he twitched and moaned horrible words
But in morning he awoke smiling singing like a bird

He told me that his dream was of Neverland 
Captain Hook was there with one hand!

All was appearing for the best until I heard the news
The boy was fighting a battle he was going to lose

That night I spent with him again laughing and joking the hours past
Then his time had come at last

Before I had a chance to cry when he died
I saw the tears and hope in his  melancholy eyes

Now he is somewhere doing battle against the pirates and Hook
Now at last nibs could be added to the last of the book


Details | Ballad | |

FLOWERS ON A FRIDAY

It was bucking bulls and cowboy busting broncos
And the challenge that accompanied each ride
That consumed the heart and mind of my young cowboy
And this fact my Buddy never tried to hide. 
I recall the time we met in Kelly’s diner
He was busted up and feeling rather sore
But the cheque that paid the tab that I presented
Seemed to him to somehow even up the score.

He had eaten there that week and got acquainted,
And I somehow got to know this cowboy’s mind
while the flowers that he gave me on that Friday
Surely showed beside his toughness, he was kind.
We were married in the summer six months later,
On a Friday I recall so very well,
Because Fridays he would always buy me flowers
And then go and ride those bulls and broncs from hell.

Buddy always bought me flowers on a Friday
As he knew I feared the rides that lay ahead
But my man his heart and soul was in his riding 
And I loved this cowboy that I planned to wed. 
Yes he always bought me flowers on a Friday
And I loved this cowboy that I planned to wed.

All our friends had shared that special evening with us
And we raged and partied well into the night,
Then we slipped away to share the morning hours, 
Til the dawn rose and revealed its splendid light.
We both showered and had breakfast at the roadhouse
Laughed and shared the joy that comes with wedded bliss, 
But I sensed a certain tiredness in my Buddy
And I prayed he’d give the ride that day a miss.

Buddy drew the brindle bombshell riders hated
And that beast exploded when it left the chute,
Twisting left then right and suddenly it stumbled
And my Buddy he was crushed by that great brute.
When it came to say goodbye to my sweet lover
There was one thing that I vowed I’d always do 
I would always bring him flowers on a Friday
And I’d tell his child about his father too.
.
“Bud I’ll always bring you flowers on a Friday”
That’s the one thing that I vow I’ll always do.
Cause you always brought me flowers on a Friday
And your child will always bring you flowers too. 
Yes I’ll always bring you flowers on a Friday
And your child will always bring you flowers too.


Details | Ballad | |

Stranded

Sitting in the dark,
Waiting for a spark.
Alone lost on an island,
No one, no familiar hand.
Sorrow sinking in,
Watching the storm begin.
Alone far away
For far longer than a day.

Sitting on the sand,
Observing sea and land.
Alone near the ocean,
Rain the only potion.
Gazing at the moon,
Hoping night may pass soon.
Alone in a place so far,
Home feeling as distant as a star.


Details | Ballad | |

To you A whole

I can’t say it yet, but I will
When I can effect you and instill 

My mind and emotions you destroy
Like a soul you own. Like a toy

One day I will defeat you!
Punch, kick, and beat you

The bruises and cuts sting right now
I want to get you away, but how?

All I hear from you is pain and torment
It is a waiting game for the one single moment

Learning hate and dismissal with indifferent tones
While I sit in a bed weak and alone

Brings me to my resolve and what I must do
Get ride of the demon and ass whole in you

My days of suffering come to an end
When I make that phone call and bring you in

Relief in the eyes of my mom and brothers a real
We made it through this whole ordeal

Most of all I except the role you failed and didn’t deserve
Bread winner in a house that can finally be heard!


Details | Ballad | |

Therion

Slayer of dreams and reality Bow down to his Therion Majesty Vowed to Be beyond Spiritual Supremacy, But too Frail, but too Weak, Were these words of The Transgressor of Our Argentine Destiny Reigned with Blood And with Blood You shall Fall Never denounce the ways of The Wicked For the Wicked you Have Become I'm Not your gracious Jesus Christ, Saving you from the blood-sodden Ice, But you Are The Beast Therion Majesty Can't control your own destiny The one who used to fight monsters, Became a Monster Himself Look beyond the Book, See the Truth lying there, Gagged and Hooked, Silence screaming to Be Free The Draconian Revelation Will Save thee The same Cold Pressure has erupt inside The Beast dwells in your Pride Dipped in Argentine and Insanity, Captivated by the touch Never looking beyond the Sin, For the Scene remains Empty I'm Not your gracious Jesus Christ, Saving you from the blood-sodden Ice, But you Are The Beast Therion Majesty Can't control your own destiny The one who used to fight monsters, Became a Monster Himself In your mind When the world Falls, Parodiso will open her halls But not for you, Inferno Cries out for you Forever Malaoda will Be your destiny I'm Not your gracious Jesus Christ, Saving you from the blood-sodden Ice, But you Are The Beast Therion Majesty Can't control your own destiny The one who used to fight monsters, Became a Monster Himself


Details | Ballad | |

Gone

Yesterday has slipped away
And only now I see
Just how sad the answers
To those questions asked can be

A hollow feeling in my heart
A pain inside so real
An empty space inside of me
That only you can fill

Even though you're gone from me
Still I’m holding on
To something that can never be
To something so far gone

People say that I'll forget 
That time will dry my tears
People say this pain inside
Will fade throughout the years

But everything we did
And every word that we did share
And every place we've been
Have left their shadows everywhere

Apart from you and I
Nobody else could ever know
Or ever understand
The part of me that can't let go

You were my love, my heart, my soul
You gave my life to me
And now I feel so lonely 
Saying 'I' instead of 'We

In a world of strangers
Here alone I stand
My promise of tomorrow
Gently slipped right through my hand

I close my eyes and feel you near
In dreams you're by my side
In every prayer I pray for you
In every tear I cry

Not only did I lose my love
I lost my best friend too
I lost my world, my heart, my soul
The day that I lost you

Although the road gets lonelier
And longer everyday
My memories of loving you
Will never fade away...


By Raina Hutchins



Details | Ballad | |

Where will i go

I wake up and your not here and i hope that you are near i think of 
time when you was mines and all i can do is cry
where will i go from here knowing that my love is truly gone
all of the pain here deep inside and all these tears i just cant seem to hide.
each day i walk all alone visions of you and i holding hands   and   i wonder where did 
our love go and where will i go from here.


Details | Ballad | |

Sista in Savage Society

Did y'all see?
When caseworkers of no guest workers,
When she so desparatedly sought refuge
In your country that you so vow
as the land of the free, 
but didn't lift a finger to aid her?
Nothing but her ownself
and little dignity she had left
your sadistic manly desires
falsely promised her salvation,
If she let you pin her back;

What about a pregnant mom?
looking for someone to 
at least be held
and told that her child
will cry and not die,
she see the father walk by,
she asks why?
He just sneered 
as he walks by 
with a pathetic ass sigh
Her son will not live this lie 
alive or dead;

Did y'all see?
When a young mom couldn't even
complete the alphabet, but now lives to regret,
being upset after tossing her child from elevation 
higher than mount Everest, seeing and fleeing 
for luxuaries from a colored T.V. set?

Her selfless pity, o idditty bity, of siddity 
with wealth and romance, of so much finance 
with a decorated carriage, of her own initiated miscarriage ,
of a now drifted off life.
A life who's own attitude bearing wings dipped 
by a mom's longitude 
of lust for leisure,
a tale too tragic
for anyone to forget.

Did y'all ever see? 
Hurry up and arise 
before your bell starts to ring
BLING BLING BLING 

" To every struggling mother in the universe, the Lord thy father, is one's babyfather that will never forget. To hold the fruit from your womb, even while the other doesn't whether the child is down below or up above, he will never escape his undying love." 


Details | Ballad | |

hurt




" Hurt "
By Rodney Riggins


Dying ,Crying , Lying , Praying ,
Feelings , Emotions , and Smiling.

You love so hard to it hurts.
Masks are put on for display. 
Not being yourself shows your not 
being honest with yourself.

On the outside it shows like a sore 
big toe that's not hard to figure out
and is visible. What's keep in the
dark will eventually shine.

Hurt is a drug the devil always
show love. Fake love to make you 
hurt and hate. Getting even is a 
pleasure while hurting someone
to get even is even worse.

Everyone has hurt some even worse
than others. Feelings are around for
people to use for their pleasures
to get their way for desires and
attention. 

Some are spoiled and feel that they
can't be hurt. Those deserve to be
hurt because lives are destroyed
by these events.

Some aren't stronger than others
but who is you to judge another 
about someone else's expereinces
and what they have been through.

Hurt It's a disease


Details | Ballad | |

My Reckless Ways

I'm drowning in the tears from the sorrows of my reckless ways, now its just facing the days. If only i could've realized sooner what i have done, now the bricks are crumbling by the ton. Open my eyes and now i see, all i want from you is to forgive me. So you bring that poor dog in from the rain, though he just wants right back out again. I always find myself making the same mistake, i change and things break. Now its tough to see the light, sometimes i wish it was bright. So it could be easier to face the day, nothing gold can stay. Like mud on the pavement, it eventually washes away.....


Details | Ballad | |

Breaking bread

Tiny dirty hands layered in filth, grim under the nails, what dread do you face as you toil and toil throughout the long frightful day?

There is no comfort behind broken walls, no comfort in mothers arms, no safety offered to your wondering soul. Tiny hands scavenge for food, finding only aged bones with little meat, few scraps to feed your aching abdomen. Those hands so small, so cold, trembling uncontrollably, wrapped around your petite frame, your mind replaying “How will I survive today?” But you toil, toil on.

The water there is none. Only blackened pools of thick mud and how you long to taste the cool refreshing drips on your tongue, to soak your calloused and bruised toes, but that fantasy has long been gone.

Feeling as though you where made to suffer, made to grieve, want and never  to obtain you start to weep. Those hands, those tiny dirty hands reach up and gently push aside the free falling tears that seem to never stop.

Though you can’t see her, her pain is real.
A child of hunger, a child of fear, her wanting is palpable, honest, and correct, no lusting just dreams all shattered by circumstance and sadly she is not alone.

So as you sit in your homes surrounded by loving faces, grand objects and perfectly set dinner places, give thanks as your hands, clean and untouched by poverty break bread.


Details | Ballad | |

downward spiral

depression reduces me down to my knees,
cant seem to see the woods for the trees.
Allways on edge with a sence of tension,
paranoid thaughts to vast to mention.

Inside my head my mind runs riot,
allthough i percive a charictor of quiet,
forever picking faults with ones self,
a deteriation of my mental health.

to punish myself i began to self harm,
rape my exsistance and cut my arm.
latching onto any act of kindness,
but vunverbility insuing blindness.

looking for love in all the wrong places,
hiding behind so many false faces.
a losing side of a game of chess,
more frustration as im trying my best.

looking at life as a glass half empty,
while reviwing others lfes resentfully.
Alienating myself from human traffic,
isolating for months its that dramatic.


Everdecresing downward slide,
but this is no funfair ride.


Details | Ballad | |

Embracing His Wrath

The great deceiver picks one
To manipulate and bare his son.

Something goes wrong, she won't have it
So she runs away from his havoc

She refuses to commit to his will
He curses her to the Island Seal

A place to give in to the evil
Where she meets a man named Cecil

The evil one under a mask
To deceive is his ultimate task

Through his eyes she can tell
Looking through unmasking hell

In his furious anger he breaks her neck
Her soul is lifted to her lord ship

Her body is given a second chance
Without recollection of this dance

He places her under angel guards
Marking her under the stars

Her torment will not go unseen
If she goes back she will...scream


Details | Ballad | |

Jock

Jock.

Now Jock he was a friend of mine
In those good old army days
When teenage boys were herded in
And made to change their ways
He told me one fine summer’s day
With a big blue sky above
"I'm glad that I'm a soldier boy
This army life I love".

They shipped him off to good old Nam
Placed a rifle in his hands
And said "now you're a soldier boy
I hope you'll understand
We're fighting those old Vietcong
You've got to see us right
You don't know what it's all about!!!
Nor us, just go and fight"

Poor Jock ain't with us any more
God bless his poor old mum
Our lad he was a forward scout
No use his bloody gun
As the flying metal put him down
Our jock the hero died
As politicians wined and dined
So many tears were cried.


Details | Ballad | |

Diedre II

Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode I cunnan sense her embrace that felans gelic Tragedy A Heart to hath, slipped beneoðan waw The dark pulse nou beckons us closer How many daegs will this passion bledan way We will beon the ans left to blame Bewarian we hath be-came their prey They say thou hast ben addicted to thy pain A life-leas cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper to close to the edge A ceallian fram the dark Bringan ut a saving sparke An exodus fram her pain Her life spent braeð in shame A Shadow ceallian brecans the silence Eom I the an to blame Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deirdre naefre said wrong Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode “My decadence wesan just for thee Though thou never hast cared of what I hath been through Enter the world hwaer empathy is clandestine A world created by thee, just for me Hwaet is lecgan in my heart Is why thou wants to through the stan” I call thy name towards nightfall’s reign But they take thou so feorr way A dark engel so devin Cursed by Eden’s Heart I will avenge every tear An exodus fram her pain Her life spent braeð in shame A Shadow ceallian brecans the silence Eom I the an to blame Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deirdre naefre said wrong Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode


Details | Ballad | |

The life of a phoenix

Far beyond the oceans deep, 
in an unknown land
lived the loveliness’ own bird,
dear like golden sand.
Feathers made of rainbow light
well-bred was her will,
for the sad she gave her tears
healing dead and ill.

Aye - she was beloved, but …
then she was betrayed!
Feathers felt in mans fume out;
help is always late.
Heart broke.
Her lovely spirit darkened
like a cloud in spring
when her life was broken down
like a golden ring.

With wings of leather suffering
she was found again.
One more time she had to face
love - and the pain then.
Heart broke as crystal splitters.
Her eyes transformed to red.
scales suit skins surface
fire was her breath -
she became a dragon.

Deep inside her entity
still the phoenix lives.
Loves the music, loves the joy
loves whoever gives
her the love and kindness back
that she does deserve
And in friendships fire blaze
she will face rebirth.


Details | Ballad | |

Night, Twenty First December

The dry breeze moves gently
Infecting the Hamlet with its cool temper
Even the birds shake and generate calmly
A young lady sat at the front of a mansion
Her oily body shines with the aid of the moon. Anon
She look up to the sky and she remember
Her head comes down like a withered rose, sadly.
Her maids calls her in, she refuses she is forlorn.

I was fourteen when our neighbor came to take me
My parents, happy that their daughter goes to the city
Gave her presents. My parents hugged and gave me a pea
She hold my hand roughly as we walk along the street some people pity
Me. She left me with some men. We didn't eat till night only a nut
We were twenty. We were packed in a juggernaut
We slept in the container till morn. We had all cried like a dying kitty
My good neighbor is nowhere and they stood on us like Mcafee
Fifteen of us where above fifteen. Each of them was to be a harlot.

Two years for me to join them I spent as a house worker
With a man a wife and four kids. No I worked more than break pads
It was a house of six rooms of which I am the washer
I wash clothes from pants to suits to wears mostly laces and jacquards.
The box room was where I slept like a rodent
Though delicious I ate twice daily, the dogs six times with content
I never went to school; to the kids I was a rival and always a loser
After my second year I flee to the streets where I prayed to meet some lads
All alone I was lost not knowing were to go I slept under a bridge tent.

Then I turn to the markets to carry loads for lords
Before then I had been raped twice
The token I got I used to maintain despite all odds
By then I had known the city. Going to my parents was my one vice
They received me with high expectations
But they saw and got nothing. They asked me questions.
I promised not to tell the truth I told them good words
They wished to hear. To come back home three years after was very nice
I cried, I had to endure the shame, villagers taught I should be rich I got no 
ovations.

She now leaves in a villa 
As the governess. Her maids call her in once more
With their dry lips. With her face now unwithered
She rise up to retire at the door
She looks back at the sky and her smiles awaken.
Twenty first December she was taken
Twenty first December the day she was raped at the street corner
Twenty first December today. Her name? Bimpe Oladapo
Twenty first December the day she will die. That day is waiting.


Details | Ballad | |

To give you up

To give up the pain and sorrow 
The tears and lonely sad nights 
The arguments and misunderstandings. 

To have you 
That is the best thing ever 
That is the best feeling of possession there is 
The one thing that makes me smile 24/7. 

I don't want to give you up 
I just want the fights to go 
The misunderstandings to get understood 
The tears to slowly disappear 
The frowns to slowly turn to smiles 
Sad nights to be cuddled in. 

I need you next to me, 
But I don't need your pain and hurt. 

Come back to me, 
Maybe not. 
It seems you don't care.


Details | Ballad | |

*no name* {this was written from a friend to me,with love}

My heart beats fast
I hope it wont last
My mind starts to clear
i start to think about you my dear
even though, you are my past.

From when i start to see your face
Im in a constant struggle
to forget you
People say to let go and set you free
but to me, to let you go is to loose
a piece of me
from where did you come?
But when did you leave?

Voices loud, but soon fade
flat, flat on my back
cold, hot, cold...
a steady beep, beep, beep
in my mind nothing, empty,all alone
light so bright blinding me
gone,
footsteps tap,tap,tap
a gental tisk, tisk of disappointment
then nothing, nothing at all

"Honey, you have to open your eyes"
A voice so familier but not,
"I need to hear your voice my dear"
I know you are my past
"Why did you have to go, why leave me"

A hand holds mine, so gentle
I know this hand
then a voice, a voice i know so well
A voice i will follow to the end of the world...

NO...
My past, only my past.
Why is my mind so cruel to me?
But the voice of my past speaks to me
"Im so sorry..i didnt know what to do...
i never wanted to leave you...I love you!"

I open my eyes
The face of my dear, not past but present
The face of hope
No not a dream, real.

The final words i whisper
" I know my love, I love you too...dont forget that"

Then darkness consumes me
and i know i die, but as i die i know
im always loved and will always love you too.


Details | Ballad | |

forever and always I love you

everyday I wake to your face
your soft skin set in a smile
you make my heart pound 
and my pulse race
and I blame you

you make my knees weak 
when you smile that smile
when stare at me like 
I'm a rare Jewel
and I blame you

my fingers tremble as they reach 
your arms pull me in
it's cold outside 
I snuggle close to your warmth
my knees shake harder
I blame you

Next time.....
No music plays
It's quiet and I read
eyes swollen from the fight we had
and from the tears that fell out of my eyes
I blame you

I think
and think

and remember
the time we kissed
the time we danced 
the times there was no music and we still danced 
the times when I was scared of the thunder 
and you held me

I remember
what I want to forget is Goodbye
But I don't think I can say it
My heart burns when I dare to 

I want to feel your arms
wrap around me 
and your voice whispering in my ear
your lips on mine
I blame you 

that my heart is broken
that it swells when I think of you
that my legs still shake and quiver when 
I find you on the street

tears spill from my eyes
I pick up the phone, 
my fingers lingering over the buttons
i can't dial 
want to
can't....
I miss you

My heart can't take it....
more tears
my sobs breaking the quiet
sobs broken by the phone

it's you
you say you're sorry
I smile just at your voice
I've missed it
You sound like you've been crying

we were always alike that way
You say another thing
I wait, wanting to hear,
but scared

you say....

you remember
the time we kissed
the time we danced 
the times there was no music and we still danced 
the times when I was scared of the thunder 
and you held me

you've missed me
we both laugh sadly
I say that 
I've missed you

we smile, 
we imagine it 

I love you....

but I don't say it out loud...
at least, not yet.

but, I love you
forever and always

forever and always


Details | Ballad | |

So Many You's

Now you’re gone, She  had the strength to let go…
A smile . Behind the face . Yet emptiness “n” hurt too
Peace at last . Yet so lonely . She missed the real you .
He’s long gone , destroyed with the bottle.

It wasn’t all bad, This she knew . Lost in the bottle…
It was hard to accept, Lonely too…
All the different You’s ,It was so strange…
She knew it wasn’t you . It was beyond your control..

The scars from your own abuse . Alone
The bruises. The Beatings the emptiness too
Lost childhood, Identity gone (you went to war –
Came back a different you)

A lost love broke you too, Then you hid in a bottle.
And lost the true you, it hid your pain and sorrow,
Just lost to a bottle…

The person you became . Wasn’t you this she knew
The bottle first . Nothing else . How it hurt her, 
Just lost in a bottle, 


She watched you change, Knew it wasn’t you .
Didn’t mean She didn’t love you. Or didn’t care …
She just couldn’t see it through, She lost the true you…

She watched you . Destroy you . Lost in a bottle
And couldn’t watch . Or take no more.
Cause she loved and lost you to a bottle.


Details | Ballad | |

A Question of Honor

Dedicated to Noor Al-Maleki You Try, You Try so hard To put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is it Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views You Have set me Free, Can't You See I Won't have to face a Tyrant anymore Your gaze used to Stun But Now It Just Burns Under the Sun Never Enough to Be Myself Never Enough to Be Free I will not Bow to You I will not Kneel Before You Smothering Liberty Condoning Freedom This way is unjust This way only brings out our worse Hatred and Mistrust War and malice no know law You Try, You Try so hard to put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views I am The Flame you Greatly Hate I am The Flame you greatly fear Some cannot handle the truth It shows they are the Criminals You are one of them You're the problem This misdeed will not live on without the hate of your name Honor Is not real It's just an emotion that only you feel You're another bulwark Against the truth No one Will Bow No one Will Kneel You Try, You Try so hard to put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is it Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views You Fear The Truth You Fear the reality you are the criminal against all humanity We must end these lies Before Honor Will Strike again You Try, You Try so hard to put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is it Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views


Details | Ballad | |

I saw them once!

It was monday afternoon and a cool breeze parted my hair like a blooming flower
Long as my hair was it looked magnificently golden as it shown with power

Sweet summer sweat gleamed off of my skin as I ran through the field
Endless energy and spirit my presence could wield

Just in front of me skipping as she pleased. 
My childhood soul mate the goddess Genivieve.

Hand in hand we danced and giggled without a care in the world
My first crush was a tomboyish little girl

Silly as it may sound but the truth is this
She made my heart jump and my legs twitch

As the sun wound down into eve
The colors in the sky was a masterful weave

Just as the orange and purple sky grew darker with the passing hour
Angels flew after the fading gold tower

I knew she saw them too! So we talked with smile and gleam
Could we have shared the same wonderful dream?

I knew then on that we were supposed to be
Though now she is much more than a memorie

Every now and again I find myself looking at that same setting
Imagining the girl I once new at our childhood wedding

Now she sits at those same gates and stares into my eyes
while I sit here and blubber and cry

That is not only what she does for me during my time
Her hands steal these keys and formulate rhymes
                    (David Welch 10 years old)


Details | Ballad | |

ASHLEY HAD A SMALL GOAT

Ashley Had a Small Goat
Oh, Ashley had a Small goat,
Small goat, Small goat,
Ashley had a Small goat,
And he had a coat of white

He followed her to school one day,
School one day, school one day,
He followed her to school one day,
And drank a some water.

 Oh, once he ate a spinach can, 
Spinach can, spinach can, 
once he ate a spinach can, 
Also a line of clothes.

The clothes can do no harm inside, 
Harm inside, harm inside, 
the clothes can do no harm inside, 
But oh! The spinach can!

 The can was filled with achemical,
chemical , chemical chemical,
The can was filled with a chemical,
Which the goat  thought was food

He rubbed against poor Ashley's chin,
Ashley's chin, Ashley's chin,
He rubbed against poor Ashley's chin,
His deep distress to ease.

 
There was a flash of girl and goat,
Girl and goat, girl and goat
There was a flash of girl and goat
And they were seen no more..

(Slowly)
Ashley's soul to Heaven went,
Heaven went, Heaven went,
Ashley's soul to Heaven went,
And Mr. Goat went there too.


Details | Ballad | |

His hunger

His hunger:

Would you offer your jaw?
Would you offer your lips?
Would you offer your tongue to feed the hungry wolf in wait?

He howls in agony as he lays in the blood red brier bush.
His limbs contort as he transforms into a Herculean beast.

As he opens his amber eyes, he sees you, His thirst speaking from the deeps of his stomach.

You plead trying to reach the human inside.
“I would offer my heart to the tortured man behind the wolfs eyes.”

It grows silent, his face twists, and his body shakes.
With one slash your blood spills across the brier patch.
Your soul now sleeps with the wild roses as he feeds.

The wolfs hunger subsides but the man inside dies, haunted by the sound of your sweet voice that cried.

“I would offer my heart to the tortured man behind the wolfs eyes.”


Details | Ballad | |

Lonely Chrome

Lonely Chrome
Loch David Crane
October 14, 1997

The ride today was flawless,
the sky was turquoise blue,
the wind was warm--the only drag
was riding without you.

With my shirt off on the freeway
I was embraced by the sun,
its warm arms around my shoulders
as I worked on my tan.

When I turned my head you whispered,
I heard you call my name--
But when I turned the other cheek
the sound was not the same.

The wind cried lonely sounds out--
the voice it wasn't true
because the wail of the freeway
didn't sound like you.

I missed your gentle whisper,
your arm around my neck
your blond hair long and streaming
in the mirror out the back.

I thought I saw behind me
the bright flash of your smile
but it was just a reflection
that teased me for a while.

I tried to feel your fingers
(you used to hold my hand)
but now the cold and lonely chrome
is all I understand.

I thought you were beside me
encircled in my arms
I reached but felt the handlebars
and not a woman's charms.

I even had a dream last night
two lovers were entwined
but when my eyes came open
just your memory was mine.

So though the Sun is golden
and empty skies are blue
I feel the chill of winter
'cause I'm riding without you.


Details | Ballad | |

Shelly Cole

A bright Texas sun
Beat down upon this day
In the middle few should know
A teenage soul should stray

Stolen by a thief
With no apparent motivation
This man offered
No explanation

A mighty blast filled the air
She had wronged none 
All of a sudden
Her life was undone

Now robbed of her life
She shall carry on
With the pull of a trigger
She was forever gone

Yet carry on she shall
Carry on Shelly Cole
For your passing was
Out of your control

Happy you shall be
In the heavens above
Wings you shall have
Like that of a dove

Your beauty lives on
Long past your breath
It was near devastating
When informed of your death

Shelly, O Shelly
What has been done?
For your eyes where brighter
Than that of the sun

Though your body lies motionless
On that of the floor
Your soul shall undoubtedly
Live evermore

Carry on Shelly 
Carry on


Details | Ballad | |

Block

Once again I am stuck in that place
The one where my heart is filled with hurt and hate
I know your Lieing by the look on your face
Only thing to do is have falth

You use me and abuse me year after year
Now i find her number in front of me
I cry but don't let you see the tears
It would not matter you only see what you want to see

You say it was nothing just talking thats all
She dose not mean anything to you anyway
Is that why you only text and not ever call
I do not trust what you say becase you threw my trust away

You say it was all her fault she started it
For nine long months you lied about everything
I do not belive you not one bit
I do not want the pain you bring

So have you fun play your games
I am done with it all
I do not want to hear her name
Just remember the day will come you want my call


Details | Ballad | |

Josette, Drive the Faerie out of me

She's Lost--I'm the one left to blame Forsaken by my potent manipulating game I've killed the one, My starcrossed heart Desires ...But not By My hands I Try To Follow her ghost But the fog and mist are too strong My eyes are rendered useless "You're Never going to Find Josette" The netherworld Spirits sang I Won't lose Heart I Will Win this Fight For My Sacred Josette's Right to Life This is what happens when The Devil's Adovocate Falls for Jesus's Greatest Bride This is what happens When The life of the disease Loves the cure it desperately hates Drives you mad But Wasn't I already? Josette, I'm begging you To Drive the Faerie out of Me


Details | Ballad | |

Bye-Bye Birdy

Gotta get to Phoenix
No I gotta go to bed
If you try to talk to me again
I'll just pretend I'm dead
Babe you made me mad tonight
Now I'm leaving at first light

So see ya later
Nothing wordy
No sad love note
Bye-bye birdy

Twisted hanky in my lap
Marker red trailing a map
Finger pointing where to find it
And my footsteps just behind it
What's chafing you is burning me
Now I'm about to set you free

So see ya later
Nothing wordy
No sad love note
Bye-bye birdy

Gotta get to Phoenix
Baton Rouge or Montreal
Drop a postcard to the folks
They'll worry after all
Years of you and none of me
Finally took its toll you see

So see ya never
Nothing wordy
Just a love note
Bye-bye birdy


Details | Ballad | |

Disposed By Hate

Darkness sets in on a man. A weak, powerless man. A man trapped in his thoughts. Battling and trying to fight but falling into a constant lose. Trying to seek a light. But there's none in sight. Growing weaker and weaker each day. He's holding onto strings better left to fray. Sitting, thinking, breaking down with his head in his hands. Figuring all this out only to which he understands. Not knowing his fate. He's disposed by hate.

He's a mess, Filled with stress. Cant find a away out. To much to think about. Just a dark, weak minded soul. It's really taking its toll. He's been through so much. That he's effecting to the slightest touch. Its a long way to break free. To think there's a chance and one he must see. But he's not even close to reality. He's trapped in a place that he's always known. There's no way out and the door isnt shown. Struggling not knowing his fate. He's disposed by hate.


Details | Ballad | |

dark dreams

a shadowed room...
my permanent cell,
the hatred by others intense.
blades fly through the air,
tearing through my flesh,
my attempts to scream futile,
my mind going blank,
I look up,
my finally thoughts happy,
"the pain is finally over,
my death is now to come,
the anger of others gone,
the scars from fights painless,
the shadows of my past pointless,
as i pass away tonight."
slowly my heart decreases its pumps
my vision goes to black,
my body suddenly heavy,
then when i think I may finally have peace,
I wake into a world of hate.
the final fight wasn't lost,
for it has only just begun.


Details | Ballad | |

"MOM"

Roses are all different colors now.
And the violets don't even really know-
that the sugar is not feeling so sweet, anymore.
Cuz' love left nothing behind, just me-
I didn't go...

The colors all think that their hues are all used up-
And all these souls don't know where to go...
Somehow, the sky remains bluish gray up above, 
but lights no path for the lost to roam.
There is no place for them to call home.

No one is waiting. No one cares.
No one is crying because you feel dead.
No one is calling. No one is coming.
No one is crying because you're not there.

Theres nothing to live for,
but your breath comes just the same...
Theres nothing to die for, either-
We live in their f__'ed-up GAME...

Theres no one to love you just because they want to-
No one to be proud for all the real good you do...
No one to kiss your Boo-Boo's all better-
No One. Not Anymore. Not Ever...

And....
No One, (remember?), had to show her the door;
She opened it herself, turned and looked at you for the last time-
knowing that she'd no longer, EVER, be able to look you in the eye...
She couldn't grace you with Good-Bye.
You deserved some acknowledgment, or some reason why...
A reason for all these wasting tears-
The ones I still can't hide...

No explanation for her decision.
She left before you could even ask why(?)
You try to understand why she betrayed your trust.
The only trust, in the one & only mother you ever had...

You lost all FAITH in me, Mom-
And I always held your hand...

Right or Wrong- YOU, I stood beside.
I guess in all these years, I shouldn't of held on so F-N tight...
All the while I thought you were loving me,
You were just taking me for a ride...

I WISH someone would've told me, 
how my part played out, long ago...
Because I could've walked here FASTER-
And I could've done it all ALONE.....


K.C. feb25,2006


Details | Ballad | |

September 11th

Today’s the day
When it all went down.
The pain and sorrow,
And the worlds big frown.
It shouldn’t have happened,
All those innocent people,
Who had to be there,
Now have God as their keeper.
It wasn’t their time to go.
I feel horrible for their families.
I just want to ask you,
 To pray for them please.
The terrorists that did this
Will get what they deserve.
They’ll get Satan’s kiss!
They must be heartless
To even think of this!
There are people to thank
Like the firemen and cops,
And a lot of people gave blood.
Even if it was just drops.
When the towers got hit,
The world thought it was an accident.
No one would’ve guessed
That it was really terrorists.
So don’t forget this day.
Its part of our painful history.
It’ll be in the books.
But why it happened,
Will always be a mystery.


Details | Ballad | |

a new york warmth

On and on  I don’t wanna go home
Just the lovely words of another sad song
Holding on, it’s too late to go home
Just the lonely words of another sad song

Every now and then
I don’t wanna turn left 
Just the path I martyr 
On the way to no where
Could you envision me 
No longer sadly
These are the lovely words 

As we go
On and on  I don’t wanna go home
Just the lovely words of another sad song
And we sing
Holding on, it’s too late to go home
Just the lonely words of another sad song

Back and forth 
Are the trials we cure
Would you hold me more
If you found me impure 
And we’re holding on 
Cause it’s too late to go home

As we go
On and on  I don’t wanna go home
Just the lovely words of another sad song
And we sing
Holding on, it’s too late to go home
Just the lonely words of another sad song

On the park side of town
Silence is a muffled sound
No apologies
Like sea gulls 
We are standing free
We’re holding on 
Cause there’s no better place to be

So let it snow
Go here, there, and before
She asked me to leave 
I kindly closed the door
Theses are the times 
We wish not to endure
We look for warm meals
Band aids
A sore throat to absorb the cure
Lungs commenced to whispers 
Profoundly within your ear 
A little something
To keep your thoughts pure
I could ask for no more
Than sun lit days 
That hover above the clouds 
And shadow 
The doubts we adore


Details | Ballad | |

Blinded on My Wedding Day

Convince that you are the one for me.

Persuaded that I am the one you need.

Deceived that you desire my love.

Refused to see the truth so I wait.

Believing that your heart is not filled with hate.

I cry for my Heart that I am not confused.

Praying to God that I am not just being used.

Blinded by the, Yes I will marry you!

Consumed by the, Will you marry me?

Walking down the aisle to meet my groom, didn't realize it was the day of my doom! 

Oh! What can I say. Blinded on My wedding Day.


Details | Ballad | |

A Travelers Tale

It’s been so long
Since I’ve been home
Many a year
I’ve been on the roam
As the years turned to days
Days turned to years
Time is an hourglass
Showing ones deepest fears
As I sit here
In this barroom 
Smoking a cigarette
Leave I must soon
Following that, I must check out
Of the mediocre hotel room
Though my mind clearly sees
Visions of joy from the past
This hotel bill
Will surely by the last
Always ladies
Night keep me warm
Even through the most
Furious storms
Make my way
Home once at last
Not yet young son
This old man’s not done
Please don’t leave this bar
For this story hasn’t ended
Oh no thus far
All my life I have desired
Some sort of reckoning
For my sins
Now I’ve finally realized
I must go see my kin
And a new life I may
Finally begin
But son please listen
Realize you shall
As you grow old
Happiness not be bought
With any amount of gold
Happiness lies
Within your very heart
You alone
Hopefully shall start
Having your very own dreams
Even though they may seem
Unachievable, son
 You’ve just got to believe
For without dreams of your own
You shall bitterly become
Full of hatred and greed
Dreams are not money
They are actions you make
Dreams do not happen
When you are asleep
They come to you
When you’re beginning on your feet
But you must be careful
For come people are amused by
Actions of deceit
For one who uses trickery
Are not as lucky as you
They are to ashamed of themselves
And their life is hell
They are weak
You are strong
Envy they of you
And in society they just don’t belong
Don’t think I have sided
With the pitiful and weak
On their behalf
I only speak
Oh, son, I have seen
More than any old king
I’m even friends
With Mr. BB king
But never have I
Been so satisfied
Than when I told this story
And you looked me in the eye
Not many have been
All the places I’ve seen
This all was my very
Very first dream
I must be going now
But before I do
Bartender, 2 shots of José
We must make a mighty salute
For on your future young son
We must drink


Details | Ballad | |

Rosaline

Moonlight shines down on my cold, pale face I am alone, her raven calling, I am disgrace Falling as the willows weep, I hold her in my arms as she struggles to breathe Rosaline, my one love divine. You are sacred You are mine Her voice rising above the water Beautiful Rosaline sang silently to me The whispers trailing off her fingers, as she faded into the darkness My beautiful angel has vanished again Goodbye my Beautiful Rosaline. Happened that Grim reckless day when the shadows began to play Beauty detonated in my trust No more, no more will there ever be a witch so grand, as to bring back my Beloved Rosaline Sorrow cuts it's way into my heart It is the locked key, the one you keep Her voice rising above the water Beautiful Rosaline sang silently to me The whispers trailing off her fingers, as she faded into the darkness My beautiful angel has vanished again Goodbye my Beautiful Rosaline So leaving this Tragic scene I vanished from Rosaline's sight Nevermore will there ever be a witch so grand, as to bring back my Beloved Rosaline Her voice rising above the water Beautiful Rosaline sang silently to me The whispers trailing off her fingers, as she faded into the darkness My beautiful angel has vanished again Goodbye my Beautiful Rosaline. Enchanting she sang to me, in the everlasting light of peace My beautiful siren walks again Goodnight my Beautiful Rosaline


Details | Ballad | |

STILL PAOLO

Watching outside the glass window
Water filling-up our garden 's meadow
When the rain and wind begun to splash
I closed my eyes reminiscing our past.

Let's start reviewing before the seven calendars
Turn the pages back of the classic memoir
When you reach the first part, let's sit and start
Never leave, never skip let the pages show it's part.

Two characters in their sweet beginning
Their story in climax foretells heartbreaking
Ending - the witness of my lonely love story
The untold feelings remain in one's memory.

I'll let the storyteller reveals the secrets
For I don't have the courage to unseal what i feel
Hear the storyteller in this poem
Hear the heartbeat before I'll move on.


Details | Ballad | |

REMEMBRANCE of HARRIET HARRIS:

VERSE ONE:  
 
Christened as averred one Harriet Kuritsky on November 13th nineteen thirty five
     the youngest of four with only one brother
     whose exit from this world from a terminal illness she did not survive! 

The following emotions communicating heartfelt grief
practically vanquished as like my existence turned a new leaf!
 
A recurring abysmal grief stricken state
still consumes my entire being of late
these perpetual tears of sadness seem not to a-bate
since the grim reaper brandished scythe
     signature sign of a deadlocked fate!
 
Twas about 11:00 a.m. 2005 that third of May
     that our dearly beloved mother
     fought tooth and nail to keep death at bay 
(recounted by sisters who elected to remain on vigil that day)
nonetheless rigor mortis upper hand
     brought a (supposed) painless and swift death
     to her diseased and emaciated riddled body  gone lifeless and ashen gray!
 
This only heir still misses his mom more than plaintive words can spell
with his agonizingly pained heart and soul  that rents asunder this psyche pell-mell
no amount of weeping can quiet and quell!
 
Cathartic for me to give you a posthumous ode
conveyed in an easy to read poetic code
to accept finality & permanent loss only retrievable from nostalgic memories
     identified as that childhood home and favorite abode! 
 
VERSE TWO: 
 
Her cremated ashes still remain sealed in the same nondescript box
     white, powdery and chalk like material
     devoid of any vestigial semblance to her once living and vibrant self
     that unique persona pulverized and vaporized
     (housed former svelte and tall Arthur Murray ball-room dance teacher 
     a half century plus prior to demise
     which beauty, charm and grace quickly caught the attention of my father
     who courted and eventually proposed to this young flirt and tease of a gal)
     inert organic matter now represents sole residual embodiment 
     reduced to dust and near nothingness
     former corporeal being of blood, bone and flesh 
     weighing no more than a dozen hatch marks on the scale
     absence still bears down heavy like some millstone round the neck
     per  the black hole void created by defeat with Grim Reaper
     toward this woman who helped birth and nurse me into manhood
     momma’s only grown son still feels ripples of grievous sadness
     no matter the years of suppressed anger and rage
     in addition to emotional conflicts between us 
     which invariably wrought unpleasant relationship
     and a legacy of discord writ large across the tapestry of my life!
 


Details | Ballad | |

The Pretty Gouldian

In the evening they’re not storm clouds that are swirling left and right,
They are the residents coming down to drink,
Every colour you can think of, would then seek their roosting sight,  
But today it’s sad we’ve seen their numbers shrink. 

They would rise up in the Kimberley from heads of seeding grass,
Making rainbows out of trees, but then man
Trapped and poisoned thousands, around the waterholes.
Today a traveller rarely gets to see…the pretty Gouldian.
 
The speckled clouds are gone forever, the evening skies are clear, 
They’re something we shall never see again,
A farmer’s needs are quite important; we must change the structure here,
So we must lose the pretty Gouldian.

And today if you are lucky touring through the northern dry,
When you’ve pulled up to be closer to the land,
By walking through the dead grass you might hear a plaintive cry,  
Where there may be a pair of Gouldian.

The old man stands erect with his head bowed as he trills,
To his lady who he seeks the answer, yes,  
They both seek a hollow where they test their breeding skills,
Feeding iridescent nodules, in pinfeather dress.  

If it wasn’t for the passion of the breeders overseas,
When the Gouldian has vanished from this land,
Now we must leave Australia, Mitchell Grass and bottle trees,
To see the Gouldian in millions in Japan.

The speckled clouds are gone forever, the evening skies are clear, 
They’re something we shall never see again,
A farmer’s needs are quite important, we must change the structure here,
So we must lose the pretty Gouldian.

The speckled clouds are gone forever,
It’s something we shall never see again,
A farmer’s needs are quite important,
So we must lose the pretty Gouldian.


Details | Ballad | |

One Last Glance--- SONG 1

Don’t let yourself be scared,
	be confident.
Don’t hold your soul back,
	just let it take flight.
Standing alone in an empty room
	admiring art from pictures of me and you.

One glance back at the life you knew before,
One last tear that wasn’t meant to fall,
One last embrace to know you were real,
One last breath to make sure you were okay;
One glance back.

Sheltered in your arms,
	a curtain of love binds me.
Hunger in your kiss,
	to know that you need me.
But I’m standing alone in a crowded
room filled with people admiring pictures
	of me and you.

One glance back at the life you knew before,
One last tear that wasn’t meant to fall,
One last embrace to know you were safe,
One last breath to make sure you 
were awake;
One glance back.

You left me on my own
worried sick about you, holding onto all
that was left of you. The
memory of you walking away,
with my silent prayer
hoping you would be okay. . .

One glance back. . .

		One last tear. . .

	One last embrace. . .

			One last breath. . .

One glance back at the life you had before,
One last tear that was meant to fall,
One last embrace to hold me through the 
night,
One last breath just to see the
mornin’ light.
One last glance.

One last glance. . .
		One last tear. . .

			One last embrace that I hold dear. . .

	One last breath that saves a life. . .



One last glance good-bye. . .

				Good-bye. . . 


								good-bye.


Details | Ballad | |

A CRYING LITLE GIRL AT YOGYAKARTA DISASTER

A little cried alone
Between the ruin house
He cried cause everybody don’t care
Everybody busy to save own family

Her parents disappear
They not carrying her
Maybe they died at the ruin
Or they forget her to get own save

In a cold of the night
No one care about her
She cried and loneliness
With much bleed covering all of her body

She’s crying with her suffer pain
She’s try to scream for help
But no one hear her screaming
Everybody run everywere to find saving place.

But everyone forget her
With her weaknes
she just can cried
With her condition of not being able to do something

After two  saddening days 
Some volunteer come to helping people 
And they find this little girl died
Died with her painfulness face 


Details | Ballad | |

FROM ONE LOVER TO THE OTHER

Beautiful and loveable one,
you've vanished into nothing
and left me hanging
with a question in mind:
could I ever find someone...
who's witty and kind?

I am going, like a merry-go-around,
from one lover to the other...just giving
love to anyone who's able to bring
some passion and feeling!

I'd rather go back in time today,
and relive those moments again...
the ones that can take this pain away,
to make me remember the warm rain
coming down.. when spring
gave us another song to sing!  
    
 I am going ,like a-merry-go-around,
from one lover to the other... hoping
that on the other side someone is waiting!
I have kissed others with selfish eyes
and simply realized what was missing:
 you were unique in everything,
filled me up with joy and surprise...
making me discover another world! 

My long nights are as cold 
as these smooth satin sheets...  
I'll find a better reason to believe
that I can close these eyes tonight and dream!
And if years don't turn into days, I'll wait...
until I have stopped going 
from one lover to the other,
and wasted what you adore!

The sooner you realize my endless need,
the faster I will stop running wild and breath!  



Details | Ballad | |

Home-Bound

Don’t care anymore, what my future would be,
Without spirit….there is nothing me.
Sleep don’t wrap me up no more, nor time do usher the heal,
I sink in my bed, just got days to kill.

Late at night, I hear them calling, calling my name,
All my sins’ say, “Sinner, it’s you to blame”. 
In between these changes, and I know I ain't the same,                                                                My life ain't no picture, can't put it in a frame.

I lie awake till my dreams wake me up, 
And at the desperation of the hour, all just go hic-cup.
Winds of change, can you fly me to a new height…..
Can you promise me the dawn, so that I can make it tonight?

Still, round and round, circle around,
But I know someday, I’m gonna be found,
Then build a home, where I belong, where I am bound.

(C) Obaidur Rahman. Published in the poet’s debut book of English poetry titled “The Mystic Inferno” in 2012.


Details | Ballad | |

HE and his ART

Many hearts, each a beat
HE and his Art
=====
Sympathy struck my soul within the Watts Towers
One man, broken, lost
Gave other broken pieces of life another chance to shine
With beauty and grace
Close to his heart
Close to god

Before his hand came down
They were just figures fallen
Pieces hitting
Rock pavement bottom

These objects, that once served propose
Once had value
No longer desired

Used and abused
Broken souls
Left to corrode

Do you know what it feels like to be alone in fear
In shame with no hope
Can’t look in the mirror

Thought to no longer have purpose,
On this earth
To no longer have beauty
To no longer, have worth

Rebirth

Sees art on the ground
His Hand comes down
A man, once broken and scared
A suffering alcoholic with a second chance at life
His heart and soul he bares 

Perhaps it was sympathy,
He felt that day
When he started to create, a place of hope
The skills to cope 
For the pieces left to waste away

Each broken object, each piece of junk
He gave a gift of serenity
To shine and glimmer
To live beautifully,
In company 
Sublime and serene
Achieved

Surrounded by like others,
Once pieces left behind 
Alone, you seek cover
Together, in time

Is strength, and beauty
A vision of unity
A collective propose
Of vision and purity

What new perspective, from the inside to out 
Changes on the faces of the people about 
Seeing the junk, as a ship not sunk

In the shape of hope
And inspiration, a dream
Where we can go and where we have been

Reflect on this now
Of those who never saw
What the man’s vision was
Love, real and raw
In those broken pieces

With his signature, his heart
Left in different formations
Bottle and plates
Imagination
=====
Many hearts, each a beat
HE and his Art



Details | Ballad | |

Thugs, Thieves, and Cut Throats

One thing is for sure here in these places
That demons are abundant with childlike faces

Assassins lurk about unyielding to their task
Though they bare no threat or mask

Passersby wont even blink when they see
That children are deadly to you and me

For shelter and bread are motives enough to kill
Emotionless beast without passion or thrill

Society made such creatures who seek refuge
Among the darker demons who’s lives are abuse

Rat infested accommodations are what WE provide
Mediocre medical care dooms there already damaged pride

So to the streets many run away too!
Some clever enough to grasp the truth

Bands of hooligans are what the uppers call there hoards 
Beatings and sickness are what they can only afford

Survival becomes priority number one in life
Normal relationships never manifested only strife

Councilors, priest, and the police bring them back to hell
Trapped in the Orphanage is like being in a cell.

On sale to highest bidder is slavery plain to all
Or maybe like puppies you pick up at the mall

Some of the lucky ones find legitimate foster care
Others return with bruises and more nightmares

Money is a primary factor to these so called foster adults
People who can’t take care of themselves much less other souls

So I say to those who are in search of another income search elsewhere
Leave it to those who truly, truly care!

Back to those on the streets come to a place 
Where a smile can return to your dirty face

SCHOOL!


Details | Ballad | |

THE DREAMER WHO FOLLOWS THE STARS

Sitting on a smooth rock
as waves crash into it...foaming,
and splashing their salty water on me;
it is warm and soothing after burning
on dunes of sand...listening to rock,
and one of the songs caught my fancy...

The dreamer who follows the stars
is an unloved soul running from time,    
searching for secrets in this Universe...
but finding only sympathy for himself;
he can see the sea-birds in flight,
and wishes more peace at every sunset!  

This pen dashes all thoughts off,
to relieve this mind of unwanted clutter,
clearly seeing beyond the noiseless shore;
and like survivors of a shipwreck:
I let out a deep breath, to feel life 
at its best ,and joyfully play my clarinet...

The dreamer who follows the stars
 loses their traces into space,
they go further and further and disappear from his sight;
he counted them all when they stood still and shone
above the ragged canyons of a dreary moon in silverlight, 
and how can he hope for their return and not dream alone?  

Fugitive darkness gives away to dazzling sun-rays,
the shrills of the gathered sea-gulls, by the beach-house,
bring me back to an existence of joyful laughs; 
I am repulsively sad to have fallen into sleep,
to have missed moments that could have inspired, indeed,
another song for the dreamer who followed the stars!


Details | Ballad | |

What have you done

Unraveling threads of a desperately mending heart, I cry out “What have you done!” weighed down with shame, with untamed grief the anchors attached around my quivering feet.

Scornfully you mock my pain your heartless blacked eyes clanging at my blood drenched hands, nails layered with burgundy.

Thou paled and anguished, scorned and abused these tiny fingers frantically gather the broken shards that where you. With each slight hurt and every cold and calculated word the jagged glass drew crimson streams.

“What have you done!”

With love so bright, a luminescent beam of  pure serenity I know mourn.
No longer a lover or friend, forever a foe a minis to my rapidly beating heart.

Even though I stand laced up in cold metal chains, I pity you, pity with no end, casting my regret to the changing wind.

Tears, I’ll drowned myself in dying sorrow, the kind that never ends.
Simplicity of burden that is all I gain.

Trembling blushed hands, heavily wounded pride, even the department of faith is the love token you bestowed unto me. Now, snicker with accomplishment.

But behind these tear filled blue eyes my soul still flies.
You can only cross me, vex me, and wound me so many countless times.

New faith will be received over time,  pink thread will lace the torn partials of an aching heart, and the love from even a stranger will triumph over ever pain, clotting the wounds you inscribed on my skin.

Exciting anticipation, what an unexpected thing!


The account of you a memory now in my life’s ledger, A blank page layered with your name.
A memorial for when in love you should never have to utter, “What have you done.”


Details | Ballad | |

Sacred Lorelei

The night has befallen me Rescue me, unchain me Sacred Lorelei Bleeding a passion of royalty Forever I'll follow your Argentine cloak with the most deadly pacts beautiful Witch Sacred Lorelei Tell me did the ravens Hear my cry My misery's plea Sacred Lorelei Was this all just upon a dream Lucidity becoming reality of my Sacred Lorelei A fiat of darkly desire from a most beautiful witch unchaining the burden of my misery All for my Sacred Lorelei


Details | Ballad | |

The birth of a star

This wall stands stronger
Stronger than any man
Yet so difficult
It was to defend

Completely out matched
Thunder came in the dark
But those on the wall
Put up one hell of a fight

The wall never ended
Nor was it straight
Yet inside those men
Had doom as fate
Those who are left
With nothing to lose
Immortally fight

As if death they choose
After days and nights
Sleep came to none
Fate had came
At the rise of the sun

Heroes are made
In this very spot
This place where our ancestors
So valiantly fought
And fight they did
Taking far more than given

Unstoppable sit the man
Who is cause driven
Surrender they could
Lives may have been spared
Where would we be today?
If our men had been scared
Heroes and legends
Were made at this spot

This spot where our ancestors
Oh, so valiantly fought




A tribute to those at the Alamo 


Details | Ballad | |

A Proud Marine

A majestic Marine
Who was always was there
No other human being
Could possibly compare

No possible word
Could ever truly describe
For every mention of his name
My heart and eyes fill with pride

He was a United States Marine
Illustrious and respected
Yet he demanded none
He was always there
To protect his dear grandson

The last few years
Were Oh so agonizing to see
To watch a hero that once stood so strong
As solid as a tree

Crumble into a powerless
Helpless man
Yet he fought
As if on the shores of Japan

No matter how steep the slope
He never lost hope
It’s been 
Two years and seven days
Since he passed in the fight
The only thing he would have said
Was "it’ll be all right"

Never was there a man
More worthy of the stars
He even had
A few battle scars

He fought at  Iwo Jima 
And Guadalcanal
And received the Purple Heart
On the island of  Guam

He held so much respect
For the soldiers of foot
That his own role
He overlooked

When we converse
My parents hold true retention
The day I was born
Daddy Joe began to spoil me with attention
They said his heart
Was in another dimension

The most excruciating pain
I have ever known
Was watching my strong Marine
Whittle away to the bone

No possible word in diction
Could ever possibly explain
The gratitude I feel, to have
His blood in my veins

I love you Daddy Joe
Semper Fidelis


Written in loving memory and tribute to my grandfather Joel Allen Harris 

MAH


Details | Ballad | |

Pain of Beauty

Now that I left
my family and friends
I won't last too long
I'll be put on display
and bloom for a while
I don't want to die
my life just begun
why did you pick me
and what have I done
I was happy out there
out there with the rest
now I'm in here
waiting for the end
oh I'll shine for a day
maybe two or three more
but then I'll wither away
until I fall to the floor.


Details | Ballad | |

My Precious Sister 1992 - 1994

The year was 1994 and it is now 2005
Time has passed and continues to pass!
I can still see her lying in the hospital
I can still see her sweet face
Even though it was drained from the pain
And of course the tears she cried!
I can still see the drips through her nose
I can still see the anguish in her eyes
I can still see the beating of her heart as it races with sadness and regret!
I can still hear the doctors talking though I don’t know what they are saying
Talk, Talk, Talk that’s all I hear
Yes, my precious sister is still fresh in my mind.

Jade, precious is what you are
You are never far away from my heart
I keep you close, ever so close
You are my precious sister and I love you!

My eyes are filled with green, showing my envy
My heart is filled with black, showing my lament
Why lament? 
A state, which we should envy?
Yes because precious you were and precious you are
My precious sister!

In my heart and mind you are
Day in and day out!
I long to talk to you and
Tell you that I love you and
Tell you that you are my precious sister
Jade!



Details | Ballad | |

Wasn't Enough

Why bother trying, You watch yourself dying, Crying out to God asking for advice, Help me find away to rejoice, Speak up and feel the noise, Only in away that He knows, And you cant explain, To Save you and take away the pain, You open your eyes and see the world is spinning, Trying to figure when am I gonna start winning, Sitting in a corner and your losing, Thinking why am I on this path that I'm choosing, You make one last cry for help?, But no ones around to answer......
 
Demons surround you, Nowhere to run, You look to the ground and you pick up that gun, Raise it to your head, But you can't pull the trigger, You place it out in front and start to fire, Thinking the bullets wont hit them and you don't believe they will only to call God a liar, Seeking away out, Time running short you scream and shout, Demons closing in stronger and awaiting a final attack, You stand your ground and try to fight back, But like a diamond in the rough, It Wasn't Enough......
 
Struggling to find peace within, You ask God to forgive you of your sins, Only to figure out its you, you can't forgive, Tension rises once again, You wonder is this the end? Fighting to survive with all your might, Suddenly day turns to night, Demons coming upon you, Your mind in fear you dont know what to do, You seek out a voice, Your ears filled with noise, Your eyes pin out Demons in all directions, Inching and inching ever so closely, You make one last cry for help, But no ones around to answer......
 
Once again the Demons surround you making escape a mere impossibility, You fall to your knee's and pray, Talking to God saying all you can say, You open your eyes and see a blinding light, Thus its the hand of God giving you the strength to stand up and fight, A war that lasted nearly a decade is coming to a close as it seems, But your still in question with those nightmarish dreams, The dreams bring you down but you try to stay tough, In the end, It Wasn't Enough......


Details | Ballad | |

The Scavenger Dog

The scavenger dog

Moving along the dirty streets
With its standing ears down
Sored at both tip. No gametes
At sight sex unknown no proper noun

Running away from stones
Well targeted, thrown by the jocular juveniles
For showing interest in contested bones
They laugh unhappily as their best friend flies

Feasting on the black round faeces
Of well fed fat goats
Or a week old lorry ridden rats or rotten Pisces
Puddle. Lucky when it sees a bone that floats

Playing seriously with Latrine flies
Who always surround its nine vivid ribs
Sucking nectar where it wounds lies.
In its hair dead ticks build their cribs.

Lying comfortably on the puffy street sewage
Allowing the fighting mice to lull it to death
It was after a drink from the drainage
And barking on a scorpion which it later ate.

Shaking helplessly on the road
Till the lead trailer ran pass it.
It was buried by cars and buses full with load
The worms and flies could not just die with it 

It was a pregnant dog. 


Details | Ballad | |

Bits and Pieces

They are scattered around. Everywhere.
Don't try to gather them. Let them stay.
The pieces of my heart. Scattered, uncared.
 
I have traveled a million miles. Too many places.
I have been in love. And seen too many faces.
Everytime, I find a home, I know  I need to leave
And my heart breaks into a million pieces.
 
And those pieces are left behind, 
In those places that I have walked, 
With those moments, where I laughed with you. 
And with those strangers I fell in love with.
 
And I wonder how amazing it would be, 
If each of those pieces could experience and absorb life
In its sweetness and rage, in its bitterness and pain
With each of you, who I met and left, on this road!
If each could tell me, how you've been doing
How the sea shore looks like on the other side of the world
How the city, the road I walked, feels like now that it's raining?
 
Bits and pieces of my heart
Stay scattered around, uncared
Stay with each of you
While you move on.


Details | Ballad | |

Our Unconnected Hearts

i stand here today without my heart connected to yours with love unconnected our 
hearts are and knowing u believe i dont care dont love u make my heart the 
worse 

it can be our hearts not going on together forever no more our hearts are now 
split away from each other the connection has been broken an our hearts wont 
roam together in the heaven gates together

 but on different sides of it all we will watch down on all the hearts that we once 
saw our self hearts connected on different sides and watch them grow with love 
forever an always on different sides...our Unconnected Hearts


Details | Ballad | |

NO OTHER THOUGHT FOR ESCAPE

An infamous thief
lived a restless life,
looking out for those
vigilant, shrewd cops;
his crafty hands pulling out
those tools out of the box,
to feed that ego so imprudent:
would he never be caught...
when his instincts coudn't predict?

Escorted to the court-room, 
in hand-cuffs and chains,
he faces the harshest judge
of the In-God-We-Trust-Country...
a female judge who's fair but firm,
and yet so unsympathetically angry;
and she like a fearless preacher warns,
" Whoever thinks has a right
to steal, rob, kill or disturb the peace...
must be punished accordingly to the crime! "

All he wanted was an easy flow of money,
dirty money without a trace of sweat;
and he acted like the richest man of the county...
flashing it around and feeling great!
Did he ever foresee an end to that bliss,
how could he not be harmed by his own mischief?

In the coldest cell, he sits on the sheetless bed...
frowning upon an unsuccessful scheme:
if he were able to bend each bar with those hands,
unlock each door and sprint to freedom...
it would be the end of his loneliness and boredom;
but when reality sets in, he returns to being sad!    

Years and many more years without a voice...
he will spend writing letters to his family,
missing out on holidays and birthdays...
repenting of his greedy and wicked ways
and allowing no other thought for escape;
pain, isolation and tolerance within those walls...
will teach the hardest lesson for his sake:
to make good choices and overcome his misery!!
    

    
  


Details | Ballad | |

PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR SMILE

Please leave me
To get your dream
I 'don't want to see you regret
To get a happiness living

I can't stand to see you hopeless
To swallowed all your dream
With all your ambition to get a good future
And all your wish

I don't want see you regret
Living in my short live
With my suffering dying
And my emptiness way

Please honey don't be sad
i just want to see you get your dream
To reach all you want without me
That make me have a calmness end

Forgive me to make you sad
To pass over your live without me
just  one thing I want you show to me
Honey , please give me your smile


Details | Ballad | |

Trapped in a Rocker's Web of Lies

The cruel relationship we have is my fault.
It started when I foolishly shook your hand,
Glancing at my trusted friend who surprised
Me with the chance to meet my favorite band.

You grinned and told me your name, which I already knew,
Invited me backstage to meet the other guys.
Every step I took, you would follow me, watching me,
How could I have known that every little word from your mouth was a lie?

When your arm wrapped itself around my waist, I 
Didn't act, didn't think, that maybe just maybe
Something bad was going to happen, Not even
When you pulled me closer, tugging at my clothes,
Calling me your babe.

You showed me the way to your hotel room, 
Pulling me into your trap. Forcing me onto your bed,
Making me play along. I became your plaything,
A toy abused for your entertainment until I was dead.

Now I lay,
Curled up at your side.
Trying to gather myself, trying to think,
Now I know what it's like to be used by your kind. 

I don't know where to go, who to tell.
Please don't make me go near your again,
I don't ever want to see your face again, never hear
Your voice. It'll cause to much pain.


Details | Ballad | |

SUNRISE,COME QUICKLY

As my tripping footsteps
enter deeper into the path of intense darkness,
I start feeling the trance of trepidation
and much despised misery 
seaps through me with a sense of admonition;
the night owls cold eyes immovably glare
to confine me into their scary stare...
until I dash off rapidly!

Sunrise,come quickly
to subdue my forethoughts of dreadfulness
into this night without stars!
I look up to a dark and unwinkling Universe...
exposing me to an enormous unrest:
will it be a deluge or a tempest
to end all traquillity?

Whatever threatens me invisibly,
or compels me to fret...
won't cause my courage to lessen:
contrarily, it will increase it even more...
'till I find another path;
its a risk worth-taking to befuddle any enemy! 

Sunrise,come quickly
to bring radiance and harmonious sounds
over this tempestous sea,
which keeps away all the discontented gulls;
sunrise, come quickly...
my entrapped spirit longs for liberty!


Details | Ballad | |

Begining,Middle,End

Fun and laughter,feelings of a master,
smiling faces,going places
money to burn,things to learn,
lovely flat,lovely home,
safe inside a comfort zone.

Good clothes,good bones,good mobile phones,
feeling sweet ,life complete,
life getting faster, no thaughts of disaster,
a need to get higher,feeling on fire,
multi coloured lights,no signs of fights,
cannabis today,cocaine tommorow,
who knows after that which buzz will follow.

Introduction to new people,
life it seems it seems so simple,
working all week so my weekends are free,
concoction of drugs and a 48 hour party,
all drugs are on tick ill pay next week,
loving being on that ultimate peak.


Begin the chasing with frustration,
that ultimate high money can buy,
monday mornings allways daunting,
chewing the fat becoming slack,
struggle through with no point of view,
loss of my job i begin to screw,
now works missing my life starts slipping.


Jeckel and hyde,loss of pride,
hot and cold sweats,acumalating debts,
on a roll,spiral out of control,
all the things i never wanted to see,
leave behind my family,
blamed,ashamed,untamed,
unclean,unkept,unslept.

Start selling things like girlfriends rings,
never caring,never sharing,
waking up with beasts, girls with no teeth,
sweat pouring when i should be snoring,
on the street,blisters on feet,
all alone and insecure,
is this really what ive paid for?


Sleeping around on strangers floors,
glad just to be behind the safety of a door,
life damaged,life unmanaged,
yet still id use getting more confused,
damage done,no more fun,
a trail of destruction,allways ruckin.


Shadow running,paranoia bugging,
the need for highs,blinding my eyes,
scared and alone,sold mobile phone,
alcohol in bags,clothes in rags,
a life of crime now serving time,
hit rock bottom,no sign of stopping..........


Details | Ballad | |

A ballad for Hannah

A ballad for Hannah (In memory)

I awoke this morning with a frightening chill,
Hannah has been killed
By a group of peers,
There was never any violence
Only immaturity from them all.

Day by day was Hell
She always felt like she was locked in a cell,
The rumors grew closer
Minutes got longer,
Death was knocking at the door.

No one noticed her sorrowful eyes
Or even wondered if she wanted to die,
All that mattered to them
Is letting everyone know
That she can not be trusted.

She plotted a devious deed
Who would notice this lead?
Her fall would be quick and painless,
No one would ever suspect it,
Hannah has been killed.


Details | Ballad | |

A Soldier's Sorrow

I looked out across the land 
and saw all my comrades falling down. 
Bodies of wounded and dead for I can 
see were miles around, so I took a breath, 
then I took a step with my rifle on my side, 
then I charged into battle with fear in my 
heart 'cause I knew it was time to die. 
And just the other week I saw my baby girl. 
She pleaded me not to leave, but I had to 
save the world. 
So I looked upon her face 
and smiled as a tear ran down my cheek 
o'my little baby Angela who I only saw last week. 
Now it's months and months within the battle. 
Many have done died. 
Goverment letters were sent to their love ones 
only to make them cry. 
O'why O'why do we live like this in a world that 
should never have been? 
It's the world that we're living in, 
a world that was forged from sin. 
but the walking dead keep marching on. 
Hoorah! Hoorah! 
The walking dead keep marching on. 
Hoorah. Hoorah. 
souls who thought they were coming back, 
now they find themselves all alone 
in a shallow grave, far away from a place 
they once called home..


Details | Ballad | |

Roses----the odour of love.

Bravely young lieutenant standing in the battle field hurtlessly.
He captured their enemies very lightly.
His stylist, romantic war, the shield dazzled to see.
He is fond of war and kissing delightly !!

His shiny hair leap and mould prince of wars luminous.
Once he passed, seeing the valley of roses.
 He ponder slightly odourless flowers of roses.
Amazingly, he allured aura inside the valley of roses.

He dreamt that he is in the world of roses.
His heart fluttering and his eyes filled with roses.
The sudden fragrance pouring with gems festival rollick.
But the veiling  Rose  disappered with ivory smiles.

His shying dawn bring coloring lunar reflect his love.
Rosy thorns narrating the gregarious story of loveth.
His rose-world sprouted rootlessly and moths kissing rosy-cheeks.
He seek flower's bazaars also rose wreath.

He sculptured the statue of rose express his love.
Her eyelids feared, roses winging for flowery love.
His rose-blood beloved rose-girl and forgets the bloody war.
He feels like nestling, rose nest covered by love.

The beautiful love period perfumed, the white roses flare as of love-lyre.
He lisped love-language to the fairy rosing.
His enemies pursued and watching his actions  in hidden.
In a night of rain  he sung songs of love, roses floating !

His enemies played their sword at his rose-fairy.
At most joy, her heart fell, gushing rose-petal.
Rose petals mixed his blood and irrigated the valley or rose.
One who see this valley, roses sprout the odour of love natural  !!


Details | Ballad | |

WHY CANT I GET AWAY

The hurt and heart ache and pain i just want somebody to take me away

i'm tired of being lonely its been going on for too long so heres my song

life has taken its toll on me used me and abused me never made me but did 
break me

all i ever wanted was a hand to hold a friend to have and somebody to keep me 
warm when i'm cold

the more i try to give myself to somebody the more they all move further away

some people might say you have your family but my own siblings wont even 
accept me

if i have something to give i get greetings and smiles but when i'm empty handed 
i cant even give myself a smile

GOD is enough for me i'm sure of that but while i'm on earth who really has my 
back

i came in this world alone and i will die alone but never did i imagine i would live 
my life so alone, so cold , so hurt and so empty


Details | Ballad | |

Running

She’s running….run faster,
Maybe he won’t catch you,
Run…I’m not going anywhere, 
Oh no he’s getting closer,
Please help! 
He has me in is arms,
Why won’t he stop?
Run…! Run..!
Why can’t I scream…?
Maybe louder maybe kicks or bites,
Nothings helping,
Run…run, 
Try to get away,
No one sees him,
No one sees it,
How?
 Why?
Running, running into the dark,
No! God no!
Maybe if I had a gun,
Yes, I’ll shoot,
Shoot, me, no him,
BANG..!
I’m dead.
……..he’s still there.


Details | Ballad | |

MORE FEAR THAN CERTAINTY

I speak with clarity and honesty,
and don't hide underneath pretenses;
never my promises turn into lies!
How long have you known me,
and yet you fail to see my sincerity...
when the warm light of friendship glows?

More fear than certainty
is a weak and recognizable trait
that strongly and deeply affects
any or all feelings humanly;
be logical and overcome distrust,
there are other ways to show love...
without being touched or felt!

Be sure to be true to yourself,
and not resent the unsaid words tomorrow;
open up to the noble truth, not false belief!
I am not demanding anything,
or foce you into doubtful giving;
isn't this friendship worth more than love?

More fear than certainty
makes gladness fall away,
thinking that being ungiving
is only a sign of selfishness ,
or unfelt sweetness;
each heart should be guided by self-defining,
not by self-scrutinity...
or a constant improbability!


Details | Ballad | |

WATERBURY'S PAST GLORY

Old Brass City
with massive gothic chuches,
abandoned rail-roads
and run-down factories...
we still glimpse into that bygone glory
which made your name so famous!

O Waterbury, no Christmas 
can be compared to yours,
when Main Street glitters under the fluffy snow
and everyone hummers a carol!
O Waterbury, those starry nights
are too surreal and make lovers fantasize!

Old Brass City,in ninenteen-forty-two
lads and gals were sent to war to fight the Cruel,
and mothers cried as their sons and daughters
left this once-happy-town of friendly and kind folks!
And despite all the sorrow and pain yet to be,
they proudly marched off to defeat the enemy!

O Waterbury, your monuments inspire hope,
and remind all of your past glory and leadership;
and the brave soldiers who sacrificed all...
became those heroes we've engraved into the soul!
Some returned, many died to seal their fate,
and their courage and valour put an end to all hate!


Details | Ballad | |

A FORBIDDEN THOUGHT

Unconvincing words
is what I hear...
and need, not want
keeps bursting out
of your pathetic thoughts;
all is gone so sore!

A fobidden thought,
not spoken for your own sake,
what you hide is plain and clear;
when that voice starts shaking,
and those eyes start rolling:
I lose faith in everything you say,
look at me, and be as true as yesterday!
Have I ever kept a secret, or been insincere?
Sympathy wouldn't be in me today,
unless you revealed that forbidden thought!

Secrets can cause doubts,
enought to destroy trust and confidence;
are you still hanging on pretense?
Go beyond the storm and foresee
things that can't  ever been seen;
put it all to rest ...it's your last chance!    

A forbidden thought 
locked inside so shamefully
is another reason to fear truth;
being so untrue and silent
doesn't make easier for me
to forgive you like I would like toI 
A forbidden thought
lingering on unspoken lips
makes me sad and wonder why
it seems hard to face
the consequence of a lie...
when all you have to do is apologize!

A forbdden thought so unspoken,
never sheds light on anything too foregone;
something lost to time that only  love can
bring back from its deep darkness!
A forbidden thought follows a gloomy dawn,
afraid that the silence will find a voice!




Details | Ballad | |

Nobody's Child

Where was I born, who do I know,
All that I own is all here on show.
I’m nobody’s child, a child of the street,
Does that make me wrong, am I incomplete?

The beginning was the end for me,
It was all downhill for all but me to see.
I reached out for the sun and moon,
Not knowing that soon, they would both be in tune.

The drunken, shaking hand rises up again,
Leaving me alone with my new pain.
I only wanted to show that I can grow,
Have I learn’t more than I should know?

I can not cry, I can not show any fear,
I haven’t cried at all this year.
What is happiness, alcohol knows no limits, 
The futures not bright if I’m not in it.

As sure as the night will follow the day,
I’m destined to wander, you know I won’t stay.
The road is my bible, the stars my guide,
From winged creatures, I must run and hide.

I’m nobody’s child, asleep at the wheel,
Uppers and Downers, I will pop any pill.
Into the darkness, awake to the end,
How do I know that you are my friend?

I never looked for two paths, even when I had a choice,
I can hear so many people talking but only one voice.
I can not get even, let alone even the score,
I’m nobody’s child, do you see anything more?

The holes in the floor are round and not square,
Sometimes I think that they are not there.
Where do I stand and where do I go,
I’m nobody’s child, does it really show?

There is someone standing over me, smiling bright,
I am pulled in two directions, from the dark to the light.
Maybe I wasn’t that bad, it wasn’t all my fault,
I’m nobody’s child, perhaps I just wasn’t caught.


Details | Ballad | |

RESTLESS YOUNG MAN WITHOUT A NAME

He keeps a very low profile,
afraid of the the horrible secret he hides;
hooked on a daily dosage of cocaine...
seeking an instant relief from his acute pain!
His cramped den is the stench
of smoked substance bought on drug-infested streets,
and filth is the undeniable evidence:
one can surely tell that he lives in Hell...
red devilish eyes and sunken cheeks; 
a wasted mind and body meeting their end!   

Restless young man without a name,
wary of the destructible consequences
that stunt your unremorseful conscience;
and what price will you pay and whom will you blame?
Restless young man without a name,
you only existed to fulfill a destiny of shame! 

Day-time is so detestable to him,
more than the viciousest enemy;
night-time changes his personality...  
and he searches for dope down-town,
where the houses are so run-down...
occupied by the crack-heads of East Main!
A limping kid, from nowhere, hands him
a small bag and he exchanges it for some green;
and what started the urge within...
is a deep wound, which can never heal! 

Restless young man without a name, 
intoxicated by the poison that destroys your life and health;
you can't be aware of what distorts your weak senses...
until you are helpless and run out of breath! 
Restless young man without a name,
guiltless and indulgent...you allow death to happily dance!


Details | Ballad | |

Silent Thoughts Out Loud

Don't step to me,
Talking about, "Baby please,
Just help me get out of this mess."
Because I stood by your side,
Paid my dues for that ride.
I walked away and I said my goodbyes,
But you're trying to pull me in
With all of your "Remember when"'s,
But then,
She walks into the room,
When she asks who it is,
You say, "Just Mike. That's it."
And on the other end of the phone, I sigh
Knowing that you will never change,
Because to you, it's just a game,
Not knowing that you're the one getting played
By her and her sneaky ways,
And all she has to say
Is, "Baby wait!
Don't leave me! I need you."
And just like that, you're sucked back in,
And here I sit on the other end,
Listening to you and her again,
And all I can think is, "Remember when
You finally told me her name
As I sat on top of my car ashamed
That I could allow myself to fall so deep
For someone who had already hurt me.
Remember when you first found out
That she was pregnant and it was yours no doubt.
But you said you still wanted me.
You wanted me to be your child's step mommy.
Remember when you wiped the tears from my eyes
When I was upset because my G-ma died.
I felt like nothing in my life would go right.
Remember when we broke up for a week,
Because of the first time you cheated on me.
Remember when we snuck you home in the middle of the night,
And sleeping in your arms felt so right.
Remember when you put yourself between me and that guy,
When you stood by me as the cars drove by.
Remember when I laid down in the street
And you got so worried about me,
Or walking back to your house and 'Good morning!'
Remember when we sat in the courthouse side by side,
Trying our hardest to find
The nicest way for you to say goodbye
To the girl you're with now and refuse to say
The word 'goodbye' and walk away
Like we talked about that day.
So now you're living two lives at one time,
Playing your games with my innocent mind,
And yet, I'm still here by your side.
Remember when I finally took by my life
And told you and your lies 'Goodbye'.
Oh, wait, that hasn't happened."
When you said, "What?" I snapped out of it.
All of the "Remember when"'s
Were supposed to be only in my head,
But the shock in your voice let me know it came out,
And all of my silent thoughts were said out loud,
And before I knew what to do,
I hear you say, "It was real. I loved you.
I always have and I always will.
The fact that you doubt it is unreal."
Faintly, in the background I hear her say, "What?
Tell me, please, what you're talking about."


Details | Ballad | |

WHAT DO I TELL MY CHILDREN?

If you've lived in outback Queensland just as I have,
you must've faced at times the scourge of drought. 
You'd have watched the senseless dying of your livestock
and felt completely drained and numb no doubt.
Did you ponder on why life can bring such sorrow,
when other times you’re dealt a joyful hand?
Though the bitterest of blows is when the children
express, "Dear Daddy, we don't understand."

How I hate to see the hurt upon their faces,
but more so when they give your hand a squeeze.
And the question that forever haunts my thinking,
"What do I tell my children?  Tell me, please!"

Then one balmy morn way back there in September,
my children settled down upon the floor,
as they planned to watch Play School on television,  
but little did we know what was in store.
How they sat perplexed at seeing the explosions
of buildings there upon the tele screen
and the aftermath then left the children reeling -
left wond'ring at the images they'd seen. 

Though I sensed the children's minds took on the notion,
that things they viewed were happening overseas,
how that question still forever haunts my thinking,
"What do I tell my children?  Tell me, please!"

Hosts of men, who searched the mountainous piles of rubble,
live vividly within each young child's mind, 
plus the endless walls of pictures of lost loved ones,
placed there by anxious folk now left behind.
In their classrooms children talk about the horror
and can man stop the threat of war somehow?
Though our home is miles away from New York City,
our children know that life is altered now.

As my children leave the light on in their bedrooms,
lock windows which exclude a nightly breeze,
yes, that question still forever haunts my thinking,
"What do I tell my children?  Tell me, please!"

We had planned to fly the children to their grandma’s,
who lives just north of Brisbane on the coast,
but the thought of going on a 'plane is not on,
as flying is the thing they fear the most.
So as parents we have organised this summer,
a camping trip with some of their close friends,
but I fear the world will never be the same place,
though live in hope the terrorism ends.  
   
All I wish is for my children to be happy,
that innocent young minds can be at ease. 
Though that question still forever haunts my thinking,
"What do I tell my children?  Tell me, please!"





Details | Ballad | |

PRETTY IS TOO INCREDIBLE

I remember seeing you walking downtown,
flashing such a revealing smile in early fall;
and I,attracted by your charm,
could not resist you at all..
because pretty is too incredible
to describe you and not to pray for a miracle!

I've walked in this noisy piano bar...
unawarely of you being there,
and he's touching you with his jealous hands,
giving me such unpleasant glances;
oh, he's making you the center
of his attention...noticing how I stare!

Pretty is too incredible to describe you otherwise,
'cause you deserve a guy who has a sweet voice,
and runs his fingers on your quivering skin so fair:
to make you feel sensations you never felt before...
turning you into a more passionate woman,
who desires the touch of a real man!

I wish you were really free,
so you'd be part of my wonderful destiny;
and with these emotions exploding inside,
there's no hope for me go wild...
having you on those nights, filled with bliss,
until you are in a flood of warm kisses!

Pretty is too incredible to describe you,
and that thought can't keep me apart
from your sad eyes that speak of hurt;
dream of me and I'll dream of you...
let's make believe we are this close,
and that an impossible love we never choose!


Details | Ballad | |

FOR THOSE I DIDN'T KNOW

They slowly walk to Ground Zero
to grieve for someone they lost or know,
I came to this site for all the fallen;
great sadness mixed with supreme joy,
because they've reached the ultimate glory...
in that place where no one is alone!

My poem is for those I didn't know,
for someone who needed help, but wasn't there;
I would have given up the very breath of this life
to have saved,at least, one soul...
not to make another bell toll!
This loud and deep voice
would have called out to them with infinite grace,
to pull their trapped bodies out of the flames;
and they would have answered me with a whisper...
to lead them, from the mortal darkness, into the living light!

Seasons change colors,
and every year one seems
different from the other;
I stay the same forever...
remembering that nobody 
is safe anyplace, or anywhere!
Be alert and vigilant as they couldn't be...
our enemies are full of treachery,
and trepidation is a sign of sure weakness;
they intimitate us with another menace!  

My poem is for those I didn't know,
and being that stranger I feel even more;
I would have offered my kind arms,
and let their wish,to stay alive,
fall in this caring heart flowing with kindness:
I would have taken their place and gladly died!


Details | Ballad | |

Vibeke

She is so sweet to me Her lovely lullabies are my fix An angel on earth she is With her voice she could break the lunar love She is my muse But where did she go My angelic-gothic queen A siren has fell What is left to take her place A wench from the south Such a terrible fate for her band of legends  Tristania has surely died


Details | Ballad | |

'It's A Cold Night - Cowboy'

I was driving home in my Pick-up
When I saw something Strange…
… a Cowboy Sat atop His Horse
Calling Someone’s Name

He trotted on the Moonlit Trail
The man’s Face, held no Shame
As Tears were rolling down His Jaw
I saw this, Very Plain…

I could tell He was A-Hurtin’
Something was Mighty Grim
I pulled up slowly Beside
… and I asked Him …

Cowboy … It’s a Cold Night
Why are you out on the Range?
There aren’t any Cattle Here …
And There are no more wild Mustangs

It’s a Cold Night out here Cowboy
For you to take a Ride
It’s a Lonely Night out here Cowboy
With Nobody at Your Side

It’s Somethin’ you never get Used To
You can Fake it… like You Do…
… But It’s a Cold Night out here, Cowboy… Come Inside…
It’s gonna’ get Colder, Soon… You Better Hide…

… At First, He looked at the Night Sky
and then, He Turned to My Face
and Underneath the Shadowed Brim
His Eyes looked Hard and Glazed

He said, “Hon, I’m a Rare Breed
I get Real Lonely in Town
I’m More at Home, where I Roam
and Hear the Wolf and Rattlesnake – Sound

I was Once a Rodeo – Star
Now, I’m just a Wanted Outlaw
And there ain’t Nothing You Can See
That I haven’t Saw …

… except, My Son,
 By my Ex-Wife – Annie
She Married my Once Best Friend, Sam
They Raising My Boy, Will,  to call Him Daddy …

… and I ain’t Seen my dog, Quickdraw
In 10 Days …
… and You Think, This Cold-Spell, Could Bother Me?...”
and then, He nudged His Horse, and Galloped on His Way…

… Well, by the Time, I made it into Town
There was a Real Big Traffic Jam
Police had Blocked Off a part of The Road
and then, I heard… ‘Bam ! Bam ! … Bam ! …

… it was then, I saw the Riderless Horse
Standing Still … but Untied
And The Outlaw, Clutched His Chest
… as He Died  … …

… and the Dog, Quickdraw, was Whining 
by His Side …

It’s a Cold Night out here Cowboy
The Prairie Breeze was Singing
It’s a Bad Night Out Here Cowboy
The Midnight Stars Were Blinking …

They Knew You were Headed into Town
So You could Face a Final Showdown
To try to find some Heat to Warm Your Heart
… was a Cold Night, when You Decided to Depart


Details | Ballad | |

AS INHUMAN AS A MAN'S HEART SEEMS

As inhuman as a man's heart seems...
hidden inside is a tender side:
a beautiful side seldom seen by others;
and that fear of being sensitive
is a real hurdle for those men sworn in pride,
but manly qualities are judged by his deeds...
 
A woman's perception of the common man is that
he is lives in an unintentional masquerede,
to hide the sweetness he won't manifest;
and this unconformity won't let his beauty 
 be capturated by intense emotions of masculinity...
will he break the myth and be appreciated?

I have struggled with it indefinitely
and embraced this stereotype unsympathetically,
why are we supposed to be so uncaring and invulnerable,
and outgrow our own resistance and be so invincible;
have we realized that disharmony,
indignation and frustration are not truly noble?

As inhuman as a man's heart seems,
many sacrifice love for an unexplanable cause...
putting vanity before human compassion:
without guilt, regard and trepidation;
have we become so stubbornly persistent...
to lose all self-direction and prospective?   
 


Details | Ballad | |

Dauphin Island Bridge

four sweet smiling babies on the front page of the paper
four sweet little lives that are no more
My throat is tight My hands are clenched My heart is broken
My eyes flood as my knees hit the floor
How in the hell could there even be an explanation
Could the white dope really bring a man so low
the pretty lady on the TV says it's a complicated situation
and a bunch of other crap that I don't want to know
Held in the arms they loved and trusted
Thrown some eighty feet into the bay
I'm bitter disillusioned and disgusted
and I'm not the only one who feels that way

My God it's so damn hard to keep believing
Is this the way you really meant for it to be
It's getting dark - a half an hour past grieving
Lets have a heart to heart just you and me
I've found this big black book of contradictions
Though I like what the red letters have to say
I hope I have the strength of my convictions
but what the hell is free will anyway

It's easy now to believe in the devil
It's good to have some where to put the blame
but I can't keep from thinking we're the trouble
If we don't own up, How can we ever change
I want to know if you're tight with the preacher
Who tells us about peace and love and hell
Have you got some connection with the teacher
who teaches us just how to hate and kill

This here geopolitical situation
is a little more than greedy cold and hard
What's all this talk about hell and damnation
There's plenty of that right here in my back yard
where four sweet smiling babies are on the front page of the paper
three so far have washed up on the shore
I guess there must be hell fire and damnation
Cause there just has to be a heaven for those four 
 
 
Author's Comments : 
This is for those babies, and God. 
 


Details | Ballad | |

In Debt Blues

My cheap wine is the only thing I buy 
I'm so broke I can't afford to cry 
I'm so deep in debt, such a long way to get out 
The in debt blues is what I'm singing about 
I work for the man, I'm as poor as can be 
I have no chair, no couch or tv 
You can never win, if you always lose 
I've got them bad, the in debt blues 
Debt relief says give them a call 
I'm so stressed I light my last Pall Mall 
I need help, so many bills, I'm so confused 
Someone please help me get rid of those in debt blues 
Cabinets are empty, not a crumb in the house 
Slim pickens for all, including a mouse 
Cabbage water to drink, cabbage to eat 
I can't recall the last time I tasted meat 
No socks and worn out shoes 
I just can't seem to walk away from those in debt blues 
Bill collectors calling me each and every day 
You have to face up to your issues, can't just run away 
now I'm reaching out, hope it's not too late 
I pray I haven't sealed my own fate 
I ask what is a broke and poorly educated man to do 
Let me cleanse myself and wash away these in debt blues


Details | Ballad | |

The Vampyre's Kiss

I never need to see the sun.
For all the things I see in you.
The kiss that gave me eternal bliss,
My words so dark surrounded by pain.
Kill me slowly with this knife.
I'll never be the same.

The darkness covers me like the stars.
You I see all around.


Details | Ballad | |

Last Stand

Night turns to day
Day turns to night
Past the past
But that’s all right
It has come once at last
Our final calling
Our final stand
We’ve came so far
With the stroke of a hand
With the thought of the mind
Finally shown
 Is the unappreciated sign
Of which one can leave
All the past behind
All that is true
All that is pure
Is now gone
Experts are now sure
The last hour is upon
Now what is to be done?
 Where shall we go?
Time surely will show
Yet what time is available?
What peace is left?
What is next?
Life is a never-ending test
Of our gift of will power
And choice making
Yet the wrong some
Are always taking
Decisions of war
Decisions of peace
Mean nothing
Till the killings cease
Only then shall our race
Find true peace


Details | Ballad | |

The Premonition

a heart ache i felt
before the start of the day
a premonition i felt
what is it, i could not say

turns out it came true
turns out almost everything went wrong.

my results turned upside down
all my best reputations are gone

my chance to earn some money is not allowed
it was not a chance for me to earn

because i did nothing in the end
because every blessing will go away with a burn

it is sad that the premonition was confusing
it was sad that i could not see what it was supposed to be

it was too bad that the reality happened unexpectedly
until it happened, the event is what i will see

the premonition was unexpected,
i was only able to feel


Details | Ballad | |

And Nothing Else Matters

I never opened myself this way,
I try to hide my evil everyday.
All of this I can't just say,
My darkened bed is where I lay.
I lived my life without a care,
A place to hide please take me there.
My emotions paint the walls with darkened splatters,
And nothing else matters.

I want to run away never looking back,
Prove all the people wrong talking smack.
But I can't bare to witness this any longer.
Take me to a new home.
I can't find it to care,
A place to hide please take me there.
My emotions paint the walls with darkened splatters,
And nothing else matters.


Details | Ballad | |

Blue Without You On CD

Girl, what am I gonna do about you?
My heart is breaking in two...without you...
I've cried a million tears...just wishing you were here...
now what am I gonna do about you?

Babe, my dreams have all turned blue without you...
I can't sleep the whole night through...without you..
I toss and turn all night...trying to make a wrong go right...
now what am I gonna do about you..?

Girl, I don't want no one but you...I love you...
Now my life is half of two...without you...
You're the apple of my eye...my broken hearts reason why...
now what am I gonna do without you?

Babe, my whole world has lost its view...without you..
now what am I gonna do about you?
I can't even start anew....I just keep on missing you...
now what am I gonna do about you?

Girl, I can't sleep the whole night through...without you...
my dreams have all turned blue...without you....
my life has turned into...a world so lonely...blue...
now what am I gonna do about you?

Babe, I don't want no one but you...I love you...
my life has turned so blue...without you...
I've cried a million tears...just wishing you were here...
now what am I gonna do about you?
now what am I gonna do without you..
now what am I gonna do without you..?


Details | Ballad | |

I Long For Yesterday

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
I can't find light to brighten up my days,
I guess I'll just fall astray.
Suddenly I'm not all the man I used to be,
There's an evil shadow inside of me.
I can't seem to set all the problems free,
I guess my only option is turn back and flee.
Although I sit here and have this guilt,
I'm burning down the good I ever built.
The good times were an easy game to play,
I'm searching for a place to hide away.
I don't know why I have to run. 
I still can not say,
I've done everything wrong,
Now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here stay.
Suddenly I'm not all the man I used to be,
There's an evil shadow inside of me.
The good times were an easy game to play,
I'm searching for a place to hide away.
I don't know why I have to run.  
I still can not say,
I've done everything wrong,
Now I long for yesterday.


Details | Ballad | |

I PRAY, WHILE OTHERS REBEL...

To have a repenting heart
which is changed by flowing kindness,
you earnestly need to pray,
and I pray,while others rebel...
ejecting bitterness from their harsh words;
and as sinful as they are:  they still
like to be praised for their formidable might: 
to mock,to insult,and deride in an harmful way!

I pray, while others rebel...
demanding an act of veneration; 
nothing that exposes conviction,
or  liberation from libel!

They continue to look right and holy,
but underneath they cringe...
plotting against the will of God,
bending their ways to fit their habits;
an iron bar will bend 'till it melts
from the intense heat...and so will they!

I pray...while they rebel,
and set their mind on revenge...
their unconvincing glow seems strange;
do I have to resemble them in heart and mind,
speak in the same voice unti I reach Hell?
Haven't they noticed that I'm listening to another sound?


Details | Ballad | |

Woman in Black

You asked 
about the world, 
 I see it...
all these years, 
you don't know me 
I hold my tongue, 
afraid  
if  answered  
safe but not sound...

 My eyes, the world is 
 for good and evil. 

Without day, 
there is no night. 
Without hate, 
there is no love. 
Without a woman, 
there is no man. 
 it goes on and on 
while the world turns. 

The world, 
 makes me sad. 
 not proud to be an American 
 the Anti-Christ for a president. 
Damaged and lost. 
 not a big lover of mankind. 
prefer to be alone, 
but connection 
is important   
to feel alive, 
love is most.

 I am a loner 
People scare me. 
chaos, 
phoniness, bitterness, 
immorality, murder, 
hate, and unoriginality. 
savages running around 
wherever I turn. 
  true love? 
 so caught up 
...it disgusts me.   
I can't breathe. 
I can't hide. 
So much noise. 
So much sorrow 
Broken children, broken families. 
Broken hearts, broken spirits. 

Violins play 
all day long....
weeping for the world.......
I wear black...
 how I feel.

Of course, 
Love  
sees it all differently,  
God 
and many beautiful people out there 
 


 few and far between, 
 when I have the pleasure 
it's powerful 
Especially  
having that circle of
valuing my womanhood. 
I do in love. 
I do in true 
good, 
 the point of living  
 has touched me 
no words 
 have been close  
 He's close to me, 
calling me, 
wanting me 
like  once before. 
He is real. 
When I was close to Him, 
He painted a picture  
to uplift me. 
the moon. 
in awe . 
the beach 
on a full moon night, 
swimming 
in the black water with you. 
 sunsets. 
 animals. 
And babies. 
Nothing like the sight 
of a baby's smile, 
and the light 
Fresh, pure, 
and full of hope 
for the world.



Details | Ballad | |

Low Man Is Due

A low man is due...
My eyes seek reality,
My fingers feel for faith.
Touch clean with a dirty hand,
I touch the clean to the waste.
I fall cause I let go,
The net below has rot away.
And I cry to the alleyway,
Confess all to the rain.
But I lie straight to the mirror,
The one I've broken to match my face.
The fire is so warm,
But nowhere safe from the storm.
And I can't bear to see,
What I've let me be.
So wicked and worn.
So as I write to you,
Of what is done and to do.
Maybe you'll understand,
I won't cry for this man.
Cause low man is due.
So low the sky is all I see,
All I want from you is forgive me.
My eyes seek reality,
And my fingers seek my veins.
There's a dog at your back step,
He must come in from the rain.
But you bring that poor dog in from the rain,
Though he just wants right back out again.
So my fingers feel for faith,
And my eyes seek reality.
So as I write to you,
Of what is done and to do.
Maybe you'll understand,
I won't cry for this man.
Cause low man is due.


Details | Ballad | |

The Road Fight

The crowd surrounded the side of the road
Looking at the scene.
An old man shouted on a young lady
He ordered her to keep quiet.
But the lady was very sturbborn.

She pounced on her opponent,
A man, a big man, she bit the man on his biceps
The man showed the arm, with blood, to the old man.
The old man slapped his daughter.
The young lady pushed her old man.

The old man fell in the hands of the crowd.
The big man saw this he then attacked the lady.
The crowd had tried to stop the big man,
But two were deposited on the lady's face.
The lady's eyes had sworn and her lips was blood.

The lady's supporters moved away to call another huge man.
Before the huge man came the lady had off her blouse.
Her bra was exposed as she was ready to die.
When her boyfriend came, he attacked the big man with a green bottle.
It landed on the big man's head unhappily.

Her boyfriend then stabbed the big man in the stomach.
The police came, then the crowd scattered and the police made no arrest.
That was the end.
Because the old man wanted her daughter the big man,
and the lady wanted to marry her own boyfriend.
That was the flesh of the contention.

Nobody in the world knew this.
It was only God, me and the reader.


Details | Ballad | |

NO YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME CRY

No you will never see a tear in my eye.
No you will never see me cry
All tho it hurts me so,to let you go
I will never ever let it show.
 
No you will never see a tear in my eye.
No you will never see me cry
All tho you put me thru hell.
I hid my hurt so well,you couldnt even tell

I played the part of a clown.
to cover up my hurt and frown
 when you took my heart
,tore it apart

All tho it hurt me so,
I will never let you know
How much you hurt me when you said goodbye.
No you will never see me cry.



Details | Ballad | |

Fading Star (Part One)

Sometimes you are stopped in your tracks and you have to stop and stare,
I saw someone so beautiful, but she was just sitting there.
As the world passed her by in all its majestic glory,
I stopped a stranger and asked of him, ‘Do you know of this girl’s story?’

He stopped and looked at me and bowed down his head,
He told me that she was someone once, but many think she’s dead.
It happened a long time ago, her lover did her a wrong,
The tale he can’t remember but the words are in a distant song.

I wanted to know so much more so I waited there that day,
To see if she would turn towards me or just walk the other way.
But she sat with far away eyes on her sad expressionless face,
I looked around for guidance, but we were strangers alone in this place.

But life wasn’t always like this, I found out in a little while,
There was a time when she laughed and her face always carried a smile.
Everywhere she went, people stopped and stared,
So many people loved her, so many people cared.

Climbing up the wall is now the highlight of her day,
Remembering when to go and never out doing her stay.
Eyes completely open, staring blankly at the wall,
Is she waiting for forgiveness or destiny to call?

I decided to take a chance, I moved across the room,
My heart was beating faster, have I moved to her too soon?
I stopped by her table and asked, ‘Is this seat taken?’
Her sad eyes looked up to me, warming if I am not mistaken.

Words were not forthcoming, but I saw a glimpse of a smile,
I sat down slowly, heart beating faster, my senses were on trial.
I went to say a word, but she stopped me with a fleeting glance,
My whole body mesmerised, it was if I was in a trance.


 


Details | Ballad | |

OH, MARIANNA GRAZIA!

Oh, Marianna Grazia...
was my friendly neighbor,
a lovely lady in her eighties!
She became a widow when her
husband died of a brain tumor,
he was a sailor of many oceans;
how evident was the sadness
of Marianna Grazia!


She had a Grand Piano, made of cherry oak,
not covered with a speck of dust, and smiling
she played an improvisation with style; 
and it depended on her mood! The rays of sunlight
entered diagonally and rested on it, while
her feeble fingers played the same, harmonic melody;
and her hubby liked to hear those notes enthusiastically...
that's how I remember Marianna Grazia at her best!


Oh, Marianna Grazia...
went to church every Sunday,
and passing by my gate, she always said
hello, and asked how things were going! 
She gave every kid on the block candy
and flowers she grew in the back-yard;
oh, I miss how you hummed that song... 
oh, Marianna Grazia!


Today I walked by her house,
the Venetian blinds were closed at noon,
I was overtaken by a sudden gloom;
her youngest daughter approached me
and mutterred very grieving words,
" My mom has passed away in a tragic way,
she slipped and fell, and hit the cement;
she passed out as blood gushed from her forehead."  


Oh, Marianna Grazia...
never will I have another conversation
about her experience in Normandy, 
and the stories of a nurse during World War II,
were as inspirational as her vocation!
Oh, Marianna Grazia...
look down below and wave gracefully;
life is not as everlasting as that love given by you,
oh, Marianna Grazia!


Details | Ballad | |

Nothing To Find

Torn apart the dreams turn to tears, Going back to anger are the only fears. Trying to find a safe place to hide, The only thing is hate and guilt to the side. Nowhere to ease the mind, Nothing to find. 

True values of pain, Like a cowardly leader in battle to be slain. Rise to fall, There's no feeling to feel at all. Torn apart the dreams turn to tears, Going back to anger are the only fears. Trying to find a safe place to hide, The only thing is hate and guilt to the side. Nowhere to ease the mind, Nothing to find.


Details | Ballad | |

WHEN THE FRIENDLY DEVIL ASKS YOU TO DANCE

When the friendly Devil asks you to dance,
step back...don't grab His inviting hand;
He's very good at the art of deception:
His ways are very charming and tempting that only a perceptive person can tell, 
and He's well-dressed and well-spoken and He comes in the shape of male or female,
to buy more souls for His vindication!


I see Satan in the face of different people,
kinder than anyone...conjuring up conflicts among the faithful;
even those who imitate the Divinity of Jesus will deceive a good soul
with their false kindness and outward holiness!
Many will betray Christ for an instant glance at all that is gold;
and they can be your most trustworthy friends!


When the friendly Devil asks you to dance,
turn away from His alluring smile and seek refuge in the open arms of Jesus!
This fallen angel has drawn a plan for each one joining His network of sinners:
to strip all of their faith, values and dignity,
forcing them to obey His laws of immorality!
Are you one of them following his indecent ways? 
 

Fancy-free childhood, glorious youth and awaited Golden Years
will be pitifully wasted in the quest for that self-pride;
and all Satan has to do is offer you a free ride!
Fools, become as shrewd and intuitive as foxes,
to fend off all the attacks of the wicked ones;
and can you ,amid them, remain as silent and gentle as lambs?
 

When the friendly Devil asks you to dance,
challenge Him with your fists of resistance!


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Ballad | |

And with a sip

Then in an instant that world had 
been hurled,
The lass's life has slowly slipped into 
a fantasy world.
In there, she never bid farewell to 
the life she always wanted,
The life, once her's, was in the 
dreams of which were haunted. 

Amber slowly slides down the wall,
Making her feel useless and small.

Useless, lost and confused,
Why give up that life to be abused?
Her answer was laying across the 
bed,
An arm laying behind his head.

He watched, and waited for her to 
move,
She knew in her mind, that 
everyone would disapprove,
A sad smile came across her face,
Her life moving at too fast of a pace.

She locked the bathroom door 
behind her,
Then she touched her wrist, feeling 
her heart beat,
Closing her eyes, and crying to 
herself,
She fell, pitifully off her feet.

A blade she kept hidden revealed 
itself,
A blade whose promise was to 
relieve oneself
Of the mess she had created,
Removing her with the blade that 
was serrated...


Details | Ballad | |

Don't pull me up

When we first got together
we where dying to evade the
vicious cycle of mistakes that
both of us had made.
but we culddn't figure it out so
we fall out of a lovers embrace.

Don't pull me up
i might just break your hands
sometimes we need to fall back down
for us to understand
Don't pull me up
i might just break your hands
Sometimes we need to fall back down
for us to understand

Im lying here in shadows
hiding from all my mistakes
yet they always seem to find me and
it seems like i can never catch a break
memories that haunt us they're
replaying all of our fates giving
me an uneasyness that i can't
seem to shake!

don't pull me up
i might just break your hands
sometimes we need to fall back down
for us to understand.
don't pull me up
i might just break your hands
sometimes we need to fall back down
for us to understand

i know you've given me all
the sympathy that you think that i'm
allowed. don't you know that it's killing me
yes your killing me
but i cannot let you down
i'm gonna get up
even if it's on my own
i think i've had enough
i'm no longer yours too drown.
let are hands part now i must
go away!

Don't pull me up
i might just break your hands
sometimes we need to fall back down
for us to understand
don't pull me up
don't pull me up
i need to understand!


Details | Ballad | |

Fading Star (Part Two)

Her eyes sparkled and a smile played on her lips,
She looked all around the room, held her coffee, took two sips.
‘The world is still a beautiful place’, were the first words that she spoke,
‘I haven’t been here for a thousand years.’ I thought it was a joke.

It was then that I really looked at her as the sun played with her hair,
I knew right then that I was alone and she wasn’t really there.
I was sitting with a ghost, who was worlds away from her time,
She sits here alone drinking coffee, just waiting for a sign.

So I raised my hat and bade her well and wished her on her way,
I left her some money and smiled and then I got up to walk away.
But I stopped and looked at her face to see if there was any pain,
I told her in the nicest way that I hoped that I would never see her again.
 


Details | Ballad | |

ASPECTS IN LOVE

I LEFT YOU WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE LEAVING YOU WITH TEARS IN YOUR EYES.

I DIDN'T EVEN TELL YOU WHY FEARING THAT YOU WOULD NEVER LOVE ME ANYMORE.

I DIDN'T ALLOW YOU TO MAKE ME HAPPY I DIDN'T ALLOW YOU INSIDE MY HEART.

NOW THE PAIN IS KICKING IN AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN ALL YOU EVER DID WAS TRY TO LOVE ME.

BUT I SHUT YOU OUT AND LEFT YOU ASTRAY I ASK MYSELF WHY DID I LEAVE YOU THIS WAY.

I RAN LIKE A COWARD AND I WAS SCARED TO BE WITH ANYONE LIKE YOU I WAS USED TO COLD AS ICE

INSTEAD OF SOMEONE WARM AND NICE THESE FEELINGS I HAVE ALLOWED TO CONTROL ME.

I GOT SO TIRED OF BEING MADE A FOOL OF BY SO MANY AND LEFT OUT IN THE DUST TO DRY.

BURNING IN THE HOT SUN LIKE A FISH FRY NOW I AM SINKING IN THIS MISERY PIECES ARE FALLING APART.
ALL BECAUSE I HAVE SHUT OFF MY HEART.


Details | Ballad | |

The Lost Lullaby

If memories could take me back
To a better time and place 
Instead of feeling bleak and black
I’d get to see your face

Oh how did we get here?
Time sure does fly 
 I still shed a tear
Singing the lost lullaby

The only thing I ever wish
Is for you to remember me
But yet you’ve left like a fish
That swam away to another sea

Oh how did we get here?
Please tell me why
When I realize you won’t be near
I cry a lost lullaby

Now that you’re gone
I’ve been forgotten and tossed
I remember the song
The lullaby that was lost

Oh how did we get here?
What you wrote was a lie
Please don’t disappear
Like the lost lullaby


~Brittany Amsden~


Details | Ballad | |

Waiting

For more than forty years he mustered horses to the yard,
Reminding all the younger blokes “You’ve ‘gotta’ stay on guard,
For even decent broken horses have a spirit that is high,
And the months of lengthy grazing, can make them saddle shy”.
 
His spoken word was ‘gospel’ to the ringers on the rail,  
As they watched the flighty gelding with it’s sinewed body flail, 
In a wretched test of strength between a man and bucking horse, 
With just a moment lapsing came a death demanding force.

The sickening thud of hoof against the now defenseless skull,
Placed a numbness through the ringers in a seeming timeless lull,
Some rushed toward their mentor, some to keep the horse at bay,
And every face looked grim as they carried him away.

Time can seem eternal when the basic aids are not of use,
A man is hardly breathing and his limbs are falling loose, 
When the doctor is still coming from an hour’s flight away, 
And the women of the station ask the station men to pray.   

Throughout the day the horses wait beneath the bloodwood shade,
And ringers eager in the morn have felt their interest fade,
Their thoughts are feeling for the man upon a homestead bed,
Not knowing if the man’s alive, or if the man is dead.

Their faces gray and gaunt have their vision quite impaired,
As they sought their own direction and in silence quietly stared,
With prayers of understanding (that ringers rarely speak), 
The silence and the waiting turned around their other cheek. 

The hours passed to falling dusk and still there is no word,
The whinnying of a waiting horse is all that can be heard,
And the tension in the quarters caused a snap toward a bloke,
When the eerie still was broken by… “Has anyone a smoke?”
 
Through homestead blinds by shadows, steady movement could be seen,
The ringers broke their silence wondering what the movements mean,
They walked across the yard and heard the footsteps on the floor,
And every mind was focused on the opening of the door.


Details | Ballad | |

cindiling cobra

A watch from the berrtes eye
secret silinet  he cryies
through the work of a jugten deed
a world he sit where no one takes heed
the new wind blows ash in dust
a look from wishiling window
showing no aprayven norical forshiven
As the shadow towers over me
I sing a hearts praise to all lost children
awaken and dawriness intent begavaning my eventdence
i shower the the  places of my past
in this overchure of suprise I cradle my last emphise
I work hard to make thing new
I began with this next of kin
A tiped nouse blinking it's fastin
The dull axes couteraction
I wangraond uptichure of my atimasity
Apraganding these two heartbroken lovers
Sore under oath to persert them both
I walk alone to actord my salvage
The presure of this unburn thratise bragging in my face
I object in theses halls of forgatton backlashing
This four hored watch this ucrane
As the mamed game backran her i am avenged
THw wac swocks the tuk bock lock
While i cindle my brushin brides backstab


Details | Ballad | |

Just A World Away

She walked back into his world,
After being away so long.
She thought she could run into his arms,
Just like an old love song.
But life isn't like that,
You have to live from day to day.
She thought she was in control,
But she was really just a world away.

He never turned his back on her,
He read the signs all wrong.
Thought he had it made,
Couldn't have been so wrong.
She just smiled and shook her head,
And then she left him all alone.
His world came crashing down,
But she's only just a world away.

They drove out without a thought,
Not knowing who they would see.
They didn't stop for anyone,
I didn't think they could fool me.
But I waited in that night,
I saw the murder on T.V.
I knew then that she had gone,
Now she's more than just a world away.


Details | Ballad | |

Eternal Haze

I chug the bottle now that your gone eternal haze is where i belong my world came crashing down all alone with nothing to lose i feel like i should give up i try to stand tall i try to be strong Without you here i don't belong the ground quakes when i walk i fall to my knees n sulk this feeling wont seem to fade y won't the pain just go away im losing everything now my heart beat starts to go slower my last breath is starting to fade the bottle drops to the ground i look up at the sky taking my last breath the stars sparkle and steal my soul im gone now, no one cares im just a distant memory of dispare no one at the funeral im finally alone at last


Details | Ballad | |

hero of the abyss

The thriving carnage reigns over the land
with A chaos tortured brand
on top of the Abyss in which it stands 
Along the side it  taints the mist
Where the var gan lays quist
A tower of the mardend pulootion
wearing the scare of it's alootion
I prasie it's uptight quiff landing
Upon the dare the darkness grows
A woumped it skialivise's it's understanding
A place noted black where the quarrel's flow
The floor shifting the shipped fool in motion
In a rooom spiting tenthly death's devotion
All houses pertained in dark narshaw
Seated in moggy filled courtyard's ashamed flaw
The bird blindingly snaring it's setting moutain peek
Seeing the window panes narrow in pale
As the nightingale sings it's call uni did pa real
Then comes to this decisions it feels 
Once stored it was ready to unfold it's possessive glave
A nor-ct feared  Appering face
All halls filled with noise 
opening the coffins mace
while the welder posted his poise
The break in deaths tower sets in his spirit
The nightingale sitting bluntly watching
Sing bird why have u called on me


Details | Ballad | |

An Angry Exchange

Close my eyes, think of the times
Sick of hearing all the lines, fake and smile
and all the while, you talk about me behind
my back, fade to black and turn to blue
from everything that you do.
And it feels like i finally am going
to crack.

I don't want an understanding
Just don't want to be misunderstood
Everything just so demanding
Makes me wanna give it up for good.
Don't want to come to an understanding
Sick of being so misunderstood
All of this is so demanding
It's just gonna break me down for good.

Of all the past, it comes and goes
and little did you know im slowly
fading.
All your words begin to hurt, and bad feelings
beging to lurk, everything your doing  is
grating, inside of my head.
Feeling broken, seeing death
asking if there's anything left
just don't know how to go back
im sick and tired of seeing red.

I don't want an understanding
Just don't want to be misunderstood
Everything just so demanding
Makes me wanna give it up for good.
Don't want to come to an understanding
Sick of being so misunderstood
All of this is so demanding
It's just gonna break me down for good.

Break me down, bleeding on the pavement now
Smile as i look into your eyes, stab me in the heart
you know i can take it,
As the clouds darken my skies
know it's so hard for you to fake it
listening to all your lies
take my dignity and break it
As the clouds rip open my skies.


Details | Ballad | |

Mistress of my night

a word with pain is soothing
Alore acursed my heart today
The fold out of it's tastire left me blue
The move of it's pearl speeks memory
let nutral sea fall too ashes 
beganing every verse with nathches
work hard when u place yourself in doubt
long for a moment of victory in triumph
A singnal to  horses blank note symbolzies the future quotes
a grave sworn to poland it's taker
A protongment for it's waker
A tardin for places
A paper wait a fold of ace's
A begging diperate maul speeks out
looking for answer to his freedom
he sweeps through the open-ended mardom
In messeagers of the broughter
Aloned walked the manked barrower
he resides the aoom of the acrowned
navley setting for closer
his bed saved from exposer
A winlrd passive word of confusion
The walls impalmped with bulushion
stow the brutes fine shade 
I warnaze a matters of pentance


Details | Ballad | |

Little Girl

I have a reason, for what I do.

But it would not, make sense to you.

I love the children, oh too much.

Just so much, I want to touch.

With candy and sweets, I lure them in.

And then the fun, really begins.

I'm not sex-minded, not today.

I would never touch them, in that way.

Some call me evil, some say I'm insane.

I do have a reason, I just can't explain.

You see the kids, are nothing more to me.

Than tiny bodies, with parts I need.

I lost something of mine, I want it back.

My only girl, had a heart attack.

I tried to save her, but I was too late.

I locked myself up, furious with hate.

I stayed there for weeks, writhing in pain.

Until I realized her death, was not in vain.

I figured out, I could change fate!

The tables have turned, I was not too late!

I could remake her, only better!

This way I would never forget her!

With an eye from Tanya, an arm from Sue.

I realized what I had to do.

On the night of revival, all parts were in place.

I'll never forget, the look on her face.

There she lay, on the beach of Lake Pearl.

Beautiful as hell, daddy's little girl.


Details | Ballad | |

A PASSION AS STRONG AS THIS

I never felt a passion
as strong as this;
somewhere I lost
the memory of her kiss...
inside there's still
the wild imagination
of an impatient,wild man...
feeling out of luck!

I have forgotten
how lucky I was...
having her anytime 
I was in need of company,
but today I cry out of misery...
asking for forgiveness,
wishing it could be
so easily undone!


I never felt a passion
as strong as this;
I blew all my chances...
thinking they weren't the only ones;
The more she gave me,
the less I gave back...
never expecting to wind up alone,
while she still laughs at me...
proudly standing by his side:
to make me feel dead inside! 

I have stared into the darkness
and lay my emty hands
on the coldest bed...
thinking of what I once had!

Is there a way to turn
my lonely thoughts to someone else:
putting it all beyond me without a thought...
like I refuse to learn?
Is there someone to help me forget...
a passion as strong as this?


Details | Ballad | |

The Beginning and the End

Everything was going good in the beginning….
I think you loved me as much as I loved you….
Sometimes I questioned our relationship…
I never really got the answers I was searching for….
Maybe we were too young….
And maybe the world was against our love….
I look back and realize that I made a lot of mistakes…
Although many years have passed by….
I pray everyday that maybe fate will find us again.
Then I think too myself what if it doesn’t?
Will I ever find someone like you?
Or will I ever feel whole?
Only God knows what the future may hold.
But at night when you’re not next too me I feel so cold.
If only I could have you in my life again only you I would enfold.
You were my Best Friend my Lover and my Man.
Now everything is so bad in the end.


Details | Ballad | |

Get Little

I hopped on a south bound

with my head in the clouds

thought I'd prove a few wrong

maybe make a few proud

but just like every other time 

there's no rhyme or reason

just a reason for a rhyme

I must be out of my mind for crying out loud

I'm gonna get little Lord I'm gonna get small

Gonna keep on shrinking till I'm not here at all

just me and the molecules with plenty to spare

won't take up too much space won't breathe too much air

I never meant to be "touched in the head"

It's seldom clear to me, what i just said

I know I'm better off living and breathing instead

cause I already know what it's like to be dead

The baggage that I carry with me

I just bring along, 

for my daily dose of self pity

and the occasional song

Honestly I'd love to be

what everybody wants to see

but all these years have made it so clear

that it just ain't me, it ain't never gonna be

the right, the left , the middle and the status quo

Have in no uncertain terms given me the old heave ho

time to go now

 I'm gonna get little Lord

I'm gonna get small

gonna keep on shrinking till I'm not here at all

I won't have to hide what I ain't got 

won't have to worry bout who I am not

I'm gonna get little Lord, I'm gonna get small

Gonna keep on shrinking till I'm not here at all

Just me and the molecules floating in the air

won't take up too much room, won't breathe too much air.

I hopped on a south bound with my head in the clouds

thought I'd prove a few wrong maybe make a few proud 

but just like every other time

there's no rhyme or reason, just a reason for a rhyme

I must be out of my mind for crying out loud.


Details | Ballad | |

Luciferia I-- Cease To Exist

I sense something in her eyes that feels like tragedy She closed her heart but its dark pulse Wilts and stetchs against the wanes How many days will the passion bleed Till it subsides into the new pain We are the ones who will face the blame ''Don't you see what's infront of me, I have to face it all I know there's something wrong help is what I want but it's not what I find You're all filled with troubling lies and incoherent minds Cant you see you're strangling me with every last word There's something you don't know Lying in my heart is why you want to throw the stone'' Her raven eyes fill the silence Luciferia we cease to exist it's burning away-- all others' reliance Luciferia we cease to exist my darkly darling don't fade away Luciferia we cease to exist beware we've became their prey Luciferia we cease to exist


Details | Ballad | |

Slumber

In the night time, through
the darkness comes the voices
of all the pain and agony.
They disguise themselves
as friends who want to help
but i say no and they just won't
let me be.
In my dreams they always haunt me
show me things i can't control
how do you deal with seeing someone you
love
die in front of you, it's like ripping out your soul.

At night i try and slumber
but they always visit me
they awake me like the thunder
just so they can mock me.
At night i try and slumber
But there voices break the breeze
They awake me, to take me under
so they can bury me.

So they show me all these things
and i lay there wondering if i'll
wake up before it gets worse.
As the dreams get more persistant
And they horror comes in bursts.
I can't wake up, i can't let go
Claw at the walls, try to get home
and as i wake up in the cold sweat
im feeling defensless and alone.

Why can't they let me be?
Am i own worst enemy?
Am i the only one who can feel
these dreams?
Is it all inside my head?
All the feelings of the dread, and sorrow
not knowing if there will be a tomorrow.
Im trying get through today
trying hard to find a way
so when i got to bed at night
a peacefull rest and on a soft pillow
i will lay.

At night i try and slumber
but they always visit me
they awake me like the thunder
just so they can mock me.
At night i try and slumber
But there voices break the breeze
They awake me, to take me under
so they can bury me.


Details | Ballad | |

Till We Meet Again

Under the sun Under the moon Under the stars
I'll wait here for you
Threw the wind Threw the rain Threw the snow
Our heart will always grow
Over the mountains Over the seas Over the miles
I wish you were here with me
In our words In our letters In our e-mails
That's all that matters
Without our honesty Without our trust Without our love
That wouldn't be enough
Out of hate Out of anger Out of war
My love will be forever yours
With our hopes With our dreams With our prayers
We will always be forever there. . ..




Details | Ballad | |

DAY AFTER DAY

Day after day
And every night
Alone in the shadows 
I lye here in bed
Slowly - dying

I close my eyes
To keep from crying
Cause I feel all this pain
But hold it inside
Cause I can not mend
All those wounds you fed

And all of those memories
Of you I wish to lose
Cause you drained me hollow
And left me numb

But living without you
I can no longer bear
An unsteady needle
pricks my fingertip
And all of those unspoken words
Are now written-to you

I feel myself weaken
As I stare lost in the dark
I watch it as it all fades away
And slowly I drift off

Cause I gave my life to you
And now I lye still
No longer breathing
I took my life away
Brought it to a bitter end
Becoming nothing
For you


Details | Ballad | |

The Ballad of a Boy

Father, dear father I'm lost and alone I've tried to make it out here on my own But I've stumbled and fallen again and again I'm tired dear father too tired to get up on my own Hold on dear father don't look at me yet Let me wipe away these tears my hearts been a cryin' I'm so sorry father I'm no man today Take me in your arms father and take me away The worlds so big father, I just never knew I thought with some elbow grease and a little can do That this world, with a smile and hug, would welcome me But no, their just not ou I tried dear father, really I did To make a name for myself Alas I'm only a kid Please dear father take me home


Details | Ballad | |

Whatever You Wanted

Here we go fighting again
and ever single time you think you should win
after words the things you say have me wondering
about everything.
And are we really together or is this just a fling
not for me but for you, as it seems your studdering
as i ask you where you've been, now it's thundering
the rain hits the ground with a thud and im sitting
here waiting for you to say something.
Finally you open your mouth
how dare you!, you say for me having doubts
i guess the phone numbers i found are out of bounds
and to question you is taboo about you whereabouts.

Whatever you say it's all the same
it comes out one side like it's me to blame
you make these excuses that turn out lame
but the bad things you've done turn love into hate.

How could i? dare to ask you about this
i would rather talk it out then fight with our fists
but that's just it isn't it? you'd rather we hit
because you know that your wrong and this is your way
out of it.
Sorry but im not stooping down to your level
and the love i had for you now it's starting to rebel
the evil you put me through, like running on a treadmill
after something that i always wanted but i noticed
that ive always been standing still
finally im ready to fight ive got the will
to break away from you and your poisonous shill
so like a bad habit im dropping this pill
and before you know it i'll be headed for the hills.

Whatever you say it's all the same
it comes out one side like it's me to blame
you make these excuses that turn out lame
but the bad things you've done turn love into hate.


Details | Ballad | |

Only She Cries

What If I told You That I Loved you
would we care
would we die
 Chains surrounding Alice
Only She Cries
 
World Banished her
Love left her
all Alone
Melancholia presides over
 
Alice dies again
Will she ever reign
 
Will she ever see
what’s here to be
Only She Cries
 
She’s a ghost
Nobody to call Her name
Only She Cries
will she not live
whispers of her Raven mind
only control her
There’s no hope
Only she Cries
What If I told You That I Loved you
 
 
Empty Without a savoir
Will She ever be cured from this
will she breakaway
Gaia couldn’t be so cruel
Just to wail away—Let the Banshee Crie
Just wail away the pain
wail away the pain
 
Enter my heart and you’ll see
that Was the only thing you could ever need
Alice; only she cries
let it show
That love never dies
Through Euphoria
through melancholia
 
 
She’s a ghost
Nobody to call Her name
Only She Cries
will she not live
whispers of her Raven mind
only control her
There’s no hope
Only she Cries
What If I told You That I Loved you
 
 
She’s a ghost
Nobody to call Her name
Only She Cries
will she not live
whispers of her Raven mind
only control her
There’s no hope
Only she Cries
What If I told You That I Loved you
 
 
You didn’t know
how you could save her
Only if you could her
Alice dies
Only she cries


Details | Ballad | |

A Child in War

As the dust burns my weary eyes
I push on and compromise 

Looking for a long lost dream 
Of swimming through the waters clean

Bombs echoing in the distance
Dead and gone in an instance

Praying to god for every breath
A candle lit for every death

It is here I sit all alone 
A heart that burns turns to stone

A concert of horror ringing clear
I run and hide all in fear

I steal and lie to survive 
Of my family I am the only life

Oh! Please set me free
My wish repeated instantly!

In my mind all is rage 
I feel locked up in a cage

When will this nightmare end?
A stray bull dog my only friend

During the nights we stay warm
We help each other through the storms

Our night lights, are burst from your guns
The politicians say we are the ones

The ones who kill day to day
For when I grow up they will pay

My train of thought, pains me now and then
When I know war is a means to an end

Sometimes I try to escape
But I was turned in for a stay

Slaving for the men of war
Sometimes a cook, sometimes a whore

Oh! Please set me free
My wish repeated instantly

I have to kill to get away
I can no longer bear the pain 

My knife slides across their throats
I’m caked in blood that coat’s

Before I could run I heard screaming
I continued my work while the tears were streaming

In a way I am glad I was caught
Now I can join that heavenly lot!

My hound of war was first feed to me
Then I was beat to subdue me!

Almost to the point of certain death
But they tortured my every breath

They kept me breathing for the rope.
They slung my body from the post

I choked and kicked all I could
While the others just watched from where the stood

Before I lost my failing senses 
I prayed to god just to end this

At that moment my prayers were sealed
A boy in the crowd revealed his steel

A rip of pain through the chest
The bullet entered and did its best

For a few days my body was displayed
For those under slavery to see who disobeyed 

After a few days my body was searched
Only a small diary was all the thieves could perch

Meaningless thoughts were rattled out of rhyme
A small short story of the life that was my time

Beckoning to those that are still at war
Freedom is a bullet wound for the soul to finally soar.

Oh! Please set me free
My wish repeated instantly.

That same boy who ended all this pain 
They ended him his efforts never vain






Details | Ballad | |

Agoraphobia

There are places in this world
that i can't go
The safest place i know
is inside of my home.
At times i just feel
so low
And other times i question my
motivations for getting out of bed and coming
up with the answer being unknown.

People that i'll never meet or see
as they pass by on the street
nervously i turn the key
to get back to my room.
And if you asked me this today
i'd tell you i'd never asked to be this way
can't help it if it's to hard for me
to breathe.

There are doctor's and psychiatrist's
who tell me all the time that im fine
and they know just how i feel.
There are doctor's and psychiatrist's
that it's all in my mind
but they don't understand that
it's real.

Most just don't understand how hard
it is to be dealt this hand.
Now im not complaining it could
be worse.
But people mock and laugh because
of this brand.
Makes me punch the wall in anger breaking
it with my fists.

Walk just one day in my shoes
Just how good would you do?
Would you let everything ride?
Or just run way and hide?
All the pain and misery
Lonely nights when you can't sleep
All the thoughts inside your head
Feeling nothing more than dead
Go ahead i challenge you
Take some time and think it through
Then maybe you'll know what it's like
to be me, and not you.
                                                                                                                                             
There are doctor's and psychiatrist's
who tell me all the time that im fine
and they know just how i feel.
There are doctor's and psychiatrist's
that it's all in my mind
but they don't understand that
it's real.
There are doctor's and psychiatrist's
who tell me all the time that im fine
and they know just how i feel.
There are doctor's and psychiatrist's
that it's all in my mind
but they don't understand that
it's real.


Details | Ballad | |

my new life

i feel a burn on my skin i dont know what's happaing i sit and wait to see if the 
time as come that my life is finaly going to end my mind go's blank my eye's go 
black as if a person who is on crack i fell my blood leave my vain's now i just feel 
fant i feel as if im in hell so i cry but it's stail my skin is glass and break's so 
fast.now my life has come to pass


Details | Ballad | |

Endless Maze 2-13-05

                                         I’m sitting here on my bed
                                        With so much on my mind
                                        So little I can understand
                                        through the cluttered words and the shattered dreams.
                                        I feel although I’m in an endless maze.
                                       My head is spinning.
                                       The tears fall down on my confused face
                                        and all I can do.


Details | Ballad | |

Marie II-- Troubled Tides

Wake up with a dream on your eyes left with the hearts that bid you Goodbye Shadow Dreamer-- Poisoned Lover Venom seeps through the Way The Way you held on to Me There's a Thorn in your Heart I left it there so the dreams and your pain shall unfold Inside you and all of your Lithium Lovers You're my lover, My Dear The Greatest Enemy I had to Contend pretending with "I Love You" but I know you Hate me till Hell's End Is it in Vain? You Sleep with the hate How can you dodge the fate? You let the Dagger dance on your Tongue You are my beloved Enemy Marie


Details | Ballad | |

Dissociation

I see a better world that I can use Its far from you And inside me The reality is too much to handle anymore It's a place we all can love A place where all angels dwell Burnt in my mind everything you've done to me It saves me to go away It's my internal prison It's my only safe-haven I'm my mind there is a place That only I can control Your misery will haunt me no more As Long as I'm in my own reality You will be no more It's deep enough where you will never find But open enough to keep expanding I will not be stapled by your dominance anymore This is it i will take a stand A sky with death In it's smile Rolls across the night It seeks to know what is wrong And the thing is you I'm my mind there is a place That only I can control Your misery will haunt me no more As Long as I'm in my own reality You will be no more I'm my mind there is a place That only I can control Your misery will haunt me no more As Long as I'm in my own reality You will be no more I'm my mind there is a place That only I can control Your misery will haunt me no more As Long as I'm in my own reality You will be no more


Details | Ballad | |

Expressions 3-6-04

                                                  Feelings on paper
                                                 Only to be thrown away
                                                 Feelings in art
                                                 Only to fade
                                                 Feelings expressed
                                                 Only to be shot down
                                                 I’ll no longer to show
                                                 No way to know.


Details | Ballad | |

Babydoll

Trying to escape from it all I detach from reality Knowing my spirit will be Safe Too much torment have I gone through To know that this story is truly mine Cut me off no matter how much I'll always find a way To fight and survive your kingdom I'm the only thing you desire I'm the only thing you hate I'm the only thing you need I'm you little Babydoll In my mind there is a haven Only I can enter, but everyone else is there Its there I will find a new tactic To keep on living in your torment On the way home I'll die a few times But just to know I really lived I'll have to find a new way to bleed If I want to escape I'll have to loose myself Cut me off no matter how much I'll always find a way To fight and survive your kingdom I'm the only thing you desire I'm the only thing you hate I'm the only thing you need I'm you little Babydoll Cut me off no matter how much I'll always find a way To fight and survive your kingdom I'm the only thing you desire I'm the only thing you hate I'm the only thing you need I'm you little Babydoll


Details | Ballad | |

Going Crazy


Thoughts going through my mind.

Never knowing what to do.

Wanting to let it all out but not knowing how.

Cutting, burning ,drinking , smoking, and popping pills .

Is that the way to let my feelings out.

What should I do?

Talk to a friend .Sure they can help.

But most friends don't know what I'm going through.

Never knowing what to do.

Till Now..

I laid all my troubles at the foot of the cross.

I am a woman of god ..

God is the reason I make it through the day.

Satan has no control over my life anymore,

God is my one and only...


Details | Ballad | |

Bye Bye Love Soon Another Day Be Ways Us

this fool took my heart now 
we braking a part the 
moon shine high bright
 in the ski in a 
distance my love 
passes me by 
eyes lingering deep
deeper then the big
blue sea 
i looked in dismays
then wondered away 
as far as the 
eye could see!!




Details | Ballad | |

Surprise

All these nights, i mostly wondered
how i ever made it here at all
a broken heart pilfered and plundered
always ready to take a fall
you can break me
but don't mistake me
i can take you for a ride
do deny me, when your lying
i can take you by surprise.

All the days i gazed of hope
sliding down that slippery slope
times i thought i couldn't cope
all because of you
there were times that i did wonder
were am i going to
there were times that i went under
but finally out from under you.

You can break me
but don't mistake me
i can take you for a ride
do deny me, when your lying
i can take you by surprise.
You can break me, try and take me
bring me right down to your size
go on deny me, all while your lying
as i take you by surprise.


Details | Ballad | |

Dear Sir

If I should die before my time
i'll leave this poem for you to find
I know you'll have a happy life
no more of my drama and our strife
The love we shared gave me new hope
the promises we made helped me to cope
The problems we had no one's to blame
we're just vicitms of life's cruel game


Details | Ballad | |

Where Do We Go From Here?

We don't mesh
Since we've been one flesh
We're never on good terms for long
As a matter of fact
One misheard word or act
Makes us conclude everything's wrong

And we don't click
Like the stones and sticks
That we've gathered from far and near
They've all been used
Now that we're battered and bruised
Where do we go from here...?

Why do we settle down
To settle for less or save face
By not waiting for true happiness?
Why do we put on a show
And act funny with each other,
Yet neither of us is laughing yet?

And why do we get confident
Seeing our strength and beauty,
Finally, from the words of a stranger?
And why do we stay together
While pushing ourselves apart?
Without mutual love we're in danger.

(Excerpts from the song Where Do We Go From Here?)


Details | Ballad | |

Didiane Le Vie

 
I need to feed my hunger is never satisfied I need your attention please notice me My emotions are bare, so I crave yours 'Tis a painful obessesion that leaves me wanting more It goes on over and over Till I find my mark I'm synthetic and cold nothing inside Woe I am, is all I feel I'll try forever till im dead But I cannot be dead-- for only your blood will be shed Take away this horrid price But painful immortality doesn't fail I'm always on the hunt For a new host to feed You emotions are mine The sacred blood of life is all I need to survive I'm always in an enternal war To fill the painful obessesion Your attention and emotion is all I need Im the synthetic vampire I can't feel anymore I was made by a blood-thirsty whore Who wanted war and death All I wanted was to be real Only you are my mark I'll gain all your attention Capture your emotions Just love me even though I cant love A creature of the dark I was made to tear everything apart I'm always on the hunt For a new host to feed You emotions are mine The sacred blood of life is all I need to survive I'm always in an enternal war To fill the painful obessesion Your attention and emotion is all I need Im the synthetic vampire (love me and love me and love me and love me and love me and love me) I'm always on the hunt For a new host to feed You emotions are mine The sacred blood of life is all I need to survive I'm always in an enternal war To fill the painful obessesion Your attention and emotion is all I need Im the synthetic vampire


Details | Ballad | |

Outside In

Outside looking through
the window she saw
what she never had
family gatherings and parties
occasions good and bad.
As her breath fogged up the
window and the picture began
to fade
she finally knew why all her life things
felt like one giant mistake.

She whispered at night
God help me im so empty inside
And as she closed her eyes she sighed
I hope that you hear me tonight.

At school they always pick
on her, say mean things, make fun
of her clothes and the way she thinks.
The tears drop down her shirt as
she ponders if this can get any worse.
Walking home, she strolls alone
nobody there to care as the
streets grow bare, she sits in the dark
next to the light pole.

She whispers at night
God help me im so empty inside
And as she closed her eyes she sighed
I hope you finally hear me tonight


Details | Ballad | |

Tiger Tiger

I met you once before, 
But you were all on fire. 
We passed on the Spanish stairs, 
Couldn't you take me any higher? 
Well who are you? 
What do you want from me? 
I'm not blind, 
But I really can't see. 
The one that I love has no vision, 
But she can see. 
She thinks I'm a clown, 
She thinks, "He's no good to me". 
Well, I floated for so long, 
That I thought I was dead. 
Now I know that something incredible 
Is trapped inside my head.  

I don't want any money, 
And I don't need any fame. 
I want to find out what I did 
But do I want to do it again?  

I've been to hell and 
I've been to places much worse. 
My name is now a burden, 
My life must carry a curse. 
Haunted by my unknown past, 
But still I must go on. 
Hunted by just about everyone,
So I'm always on the run. 
Jaunting through time 
And jaunting through space. 
I've got to keep moving, 
I can't stay in one place. 
I'm only one step ahead 
And they're closing in fast. 
I'm getting very tired, 
I don't know how long I can last. 

My brain hurts a lot and 
I know someone is close to me. 
I don't know where to go, 
I know they won't let me be. 
The stairs were on fire, 
As we passed with outstretched hands. 
Trying to hold each other, 
Pushing back the grains of sand. 
We both knew that we were 
Really different worlds, apart. 
I only had to look at the burning man, 
Didn't even know where to start. 
Please let it out of my head, 
The secret that could explode. 
I don't want to end up blind, 
Stranded on that road.

Where is that Spanish stair now? 
And can I still reach it? 
Do I see pain or is there 
Pleasure beneath it? 
The fire that burns Is out of control now. 
I try to hide my face 
From the flames in the Jar now. 
But her face is a memory 
And it is melting away. 
I ask for her hand, 
But I've nothing more to say. 
She pulls it back and 
A tear falls from her eye. 
Her head falls as she motions to me, 
Goodbye, goodbye. 

I don't want any money, 
And I don't need any fame. 
I want to find out what I did 
But do I want to do it again? 


''Based on the book 'Tiger Tiger' by Alfred Bester.


Details | Ballad | |

Can't Cry Anymore

                               I can't cry anymore
                               And being scorned
                               And have my feelings be torn
                               If you want to go
                               I will not stop you so
                               This guilt and blame sucks
                               That i feel like i've been hit by a truck
                                Yet the tears have fell
                                That you sure can tell
                                But tonight i sleep alone
                                At my home
                                I tell myself theres better days
                                But once they go good they turn out gray
                                It's hard to forgive and forget
                                That it's like making a bet
                                 I don't like things being done behind my back
                                 That it feels like i'm not on track
                                 The lies hurt
                                 That i think it's being a jerk
                                 Can't cry anymore
                                 That i think things should be warned
                                  Now the night is quiet
                                  Almost like a change in climate
                                  I need to sleep
                                  Before i'm down to deep
                                  Tomorrow will come and go
                                  As my life is put on hold
                                  I don't deserve this
                                  That maybe you will miss
                                  Walk away or stay
                                  Is hard in so many ways
                                  I need strength to keep going
                                  With or without anyone knowing
                                  Maybe theres a happy life out there
                                  For me somewhere
                                  As i stare into the air
                                  Can't cry anymore
                                  As i shut the door


Details | Ballad | |

The Truth Inside

Outside she's beautiful to everyone
always polite, always the brave one
but inside nobody notices she's screaming
for help.
Outside she's lying, inside the girls
bathroom stall she is hiding
clutching the door closed as she starts
crying.
Outside she's smiling
all of her friends don't have any clues
that her long sleeved shirts cover up
the cuts and the bruises.
Outside she acts fine
like nothing is wrong
but inside she's dying
everything is wrong.

Outside her face shines
Inside she's fading fast
Outside she acts fine
Inside soon she won't last.
She's just denying
everything to everyone
She's just trying not to
mess up anyone's fun.

She deals with it herself
why bother someone else
this is her problem
nobody needs to know.
So outside she shows her friends
a familiar face, not like her inside
a wasteland of an emotional state
The cuts bleed through her sweater's
her depression acts up more and more
Finally she breaks down, her face gets red
but she just can't take it anymore.
she confesses everything that's going on
and everyone reacts with a shock on there face
something that's been happening to a girl
they knew
all this time, all this pain inside her place.

Outside her face shines
Inside she's fading fast
Outside she acts fine
Inside soon she won't last.
She's just denying
everything to everyone
She's just trying not to
mess up anyone's fun.


Details | Ballad | |

What would you do?

The day still fresh in my mind
weather escapes me but it's your words
i find, not a father or a daddy
guess i was blind
you made me feel hollow leaving me behind.
And your life is so great now isn't it
i heard you really look it but what would
you do

if i walked up to you
face to face man to man
would you even understand at all.
or would you just walk away without
anything to say
what would you do

if you seen me all grown up now
i guess the years you were gone you'd
think i was let down or run out of the will
to fight just because of you
your kidding me right.
Always wanted to extinguish the light
from my eyes
but to your dismay, im still standing
never going away.
Abandon me then i was upset but now im ok but
what i really wanna know is what would you do

If i walked up to you
face to face and man to man
would you even understand
or would you just walk away, nothing
to say, always seemed to be your catchphrase
now what would you do


Details | Ballad | |

Missing You

I tried to understand you
and why you hurt me so
But I couldn't be without you
I couldn't let you go
I knew you never loved me
though I tried to make it true
But you were just hustling
just "doing what you do"
Now I spend my time reflecting
how many years have passed
And how our relationship 
went way too fast
I miss every thing about you
every single day
And I'm still lost without you
no matter what I say


Details | Ballad | |

No Way Out

As the sun begins its ascent into the hazy sky,
I lay still in my bed – 
Trying hard to prevent the onslaught of yet another day –
But knowing full well that my attempts will be futile.

The sense of emptiness seems unbearable,
The obstacles insurmountable,
The unanswered questions too numerous to count.

Sadness has enveloped my soul –
With a grip so fierce it seems impossible to escape –
Like a vice being repeatedly tightened –
With the sole purpose of crushing its prey.

I have been submerged in a thick fog –
A fog of despair and doubt – 
A fog so dense there appears to be no way out.

The world continues to rush by –
Yet I remain standing still –
Unable to catch the momentum of life.

I have fallen into a deep, dark pit of misery. 
I scream for help –
Yet no words emerge.

The walls begin to tumble down around me –
As I franticly search for a lifeline –
As I search for a way out of this deepening anguish.

But the grip of desolation is too strong –
It has overwhelmed me.
It has overpowered me –
And left me alone and without hope.

It has left me with no way out.


Details | Ballad | |

Lonely Interlude

This damn bed it's so cold now
once a place we both shared dreams.
I remember what you were wearing
on the night that you left me.

You told me to stay there
You had some business elsewhere
everything about that night still so clear
that it's tearing me apart.

And in this cemetary
I lay on your stone
The night is silent and the grass is so cold.
But i don't mind cause in my head
your with me tonight.

You where in that accident, a car hit 
you as it sped, the doctors told me you were
dead and i didn't believe them till i saw
the blood on your dress.

As i lay above your casket
tears flow out just like a river
i make sure that im here, every year
on our special day.
As i touch your stone, trace a name
i used to call with my fingers, i know
it'll never be the same.

And in this cemetary, on your name
i do lay, vowing to make it through
another day.
To make you proud, looking to heaven
as i smile, as your love passes by me
i know everything is ok.
and that your safe.


Details | Ballad | |

Glasentey

Glasentey
Say it is love
Tide hits the shore
Push comes to shove

Glasentey
It is a dream
Hay bales in summer; 
When the reams

Of ice and snow
Darken the bay
A ship rides in
To take me away.

Glasentey
I'm leaving you here
Forever, with the tide, 
But don't you fear

Glasentey
In the abstract wild
We're loving a 
Forgotten child.

Glasentey
When you're strange to me
Will I remember
That you used to be

Glasentey
Who said it was love
Sex on the ground, 
A nightmare above? 

If I die
Before I wake
Take the cord from
Around my neck.

Glasentey
If we're not 
Together again
Will you be lost? 

Glasentey
If you're strange to me
Will I remember? 
Will a blind man see? 

'Glasentey'
It sounds to me
Like all the waters
In the sea.

Glasentey
The birds all rise
Glasentey
One of them sighs

Glasentey
The birds all rise
Glasentey
One of them sighs

Glasentey
You're scaring me
Trembling I lay
Don't be far away.


Details | Ballad | |

Toe to Toe

Back in the day
people thought they knew
me,
That i would give up so
easily but believe
That's not how i am
today,
And if you got a comment i got more
than enough to say.

If you want a war
Step to the door with me
And if your man enough
Go toe to toe with me.
And if you want a war
On the floor you'll be
The only way you'll beat me
Is in your dreams.

Go ahead and push me
to the limit
Fight all you want you'll just 
end up to regret it
It takes a true friend
to stab you in the front
But if you really want this
then i'll give you all i GOT.

If you want a war
Step to the door with me
And if your man enough
Go toe to toe with me.
And if you want a war
On the floor you'll be
The only way you'll beat me
Is in your dreams.

Open your mouth
insert your foot inside
You talk alot of trash for someone
who likes to hide
Can't even look someone right in the face
They all figured out your just a waste of
there time and space
And one day your gonna wake up and see
that everyone around you aren't your friends
but your enemies.

And if you want a war
Step to the door with me
And if your man enough
Go toe to toe with me
And if you want a war
On the floor you'll be
The only way you'll beat me
is in your dreams.
And if you want a war
Step through the doors with me
Are you man enough to face me?
And if you want a war
Maybe now you'll see
We were best friends now in my eyes
your dead to me.


Details | Ballad | |

Crying Eyes

Crying eyes
have you seen any light?
Crying eyes
will you make it through another night?
Crying eyes
do you know any love?
Crying eyes
is there hope from above?
Crying eyes
have you no smiles in your past?
Crying eyes
have you enough strength to last?


Details | Ballad | |

Goodbye My Love

For all the tears I needed to cry
For all the times I wanted to die
For every moment I wished you were here
For lonesome days when I needed you near
I'm ending this misery once and for all
No longer important for you to call
Burn all the pictures of you and me
No more of my face for you to see
No more pretending that  you care
When you're dreaming I'll be there
No more of my heart aching for you
No more of my love wasted on you
I'm leaving and I'll never return
No more of my fire will ever burn
Go on reach out you're free as a bird
No more of my voice will be heard


Details | Ballad | |

Depression 10-9-03

                                            It began as a sadness
                                            A longing for something
                                            A something I couldn’t find
                                           It grows into a darkness
                                           A piercing darkness
                                           That slowly took over my mind


Details | Ballad | |

VICTORY IS IS A VAIN WORD

The silent battlefield has drawn its armorial...
no smoke rising from weapons so unsurpassable;
bodies lying on the bloody grass;
some writhing, many lifeless!

One nation has risen against  another nation...
with the plausible thought that one
will subdue the other and conquer;
but the losses on both sides seem an equal share!

Victory is a vain word,
if it hasn't considered or honored
its noble purpose through peace;
many lives could have been spared...
turning their worth over an unjudicial conscience,
and rid itself of a costly vengeance!

Those daughters and sons will not return to their mothers,
and an acute pain will perforate their helpless hearts;
and they could have become great minds and leaders:
and with their death, their thoughts have perished with their dreams!

Victory is a vain word,
smeared on dead faces that look upright...
for that mercy and compassion the enemy did't give;
they may be dead in body, but not in the spirit!
Look !  I see them walking with God,
who will give them another life for their firm belief! 

Belligerence is the outcome of rampant hatred,
and Man will become a beast in order to accomplish it...
without regard and pity,not compromising, 
but scheming with an uncontrollable wrath!

Now their voices aren't shouting,and their hands
are still stained with unwashable blood;
nightmares are the visitations of demons
who complement their minds with a cruel reward:
victory has lost meaning and ardor ,
nothing can bring them to a calm shore!


Details | Ballad | |

Who's Gonna Bake the Christmas Pie

He was six years old at his dying mother's side.
Only when she slept he broke down and cried.
He had to hide his fears of what was to be.
How scared he was, mama didn't need to see.

Mama had been sick going on three years now.
She knew she must help him make it through some how.
With her strength fading she called him to her side.
"If life is a carnival son, I'm at my last ride."

"I have something to tell you, to remember for all times."
"You are all each other will have in the coming hard times."
"Just hold each other close and remember my love for you."
"It will help to ease the pain, it will help to see you through."

The day came when his Mama had to go.
He had so many questions, so much he wanted to know.
"Why did Mama have to die?"  "Who's gonna bake the Christmas pie?"
"Who will comfort me when I cry?"  "Are you gonna die?"

I squatted down in front of him a tear in my eye.
"An unfortunate part of life, son, is each of us will die."
He'd caught me off guard, I didn't know what to say.
I hoped he understood.  I hoped... and I prayed.

I took him in my arms and held him oh so tight.
I told him that I loved him and that everything would be all right.
"Mama's in heaven now she's looking down on you and me." 
"She's with us in our hearts where forever she will be."

"She sees you when you're crying she sees you when you're playing."
"She knows what you're thinking she knows what you're saying."
"She sees into your heart and knows how much you love her."
"So let's have happy thoughts of Mama and the time we had together."

The days have turned to weeks, the weeks to months and years.
Our thoughts of Mama are happy, they hold away the fears.
She still fills our hearts with memories.  Memories of her love.
Memories of Mama sent down from heaven above.


Details | Ballad | |

THE THOUGHTS OF AN INNOCENT MIND

Have they ever asked themselves
what's the purpose of this life;
and why we are born of a mother
who leads us to a quiter shore?
These are the thoughts of an innocent mind...
questioning the diffidence of the eartly man!

Have they ever seen showers feed
the blossoms of a peach tree?...
Warm raindrops that Nature offers
to magnify the grandness of flowers!
These are the thoughts of an innocent mind...
seeing beauty when all ignore surprise!

Have they ever seen the majestic pine trees sway,
almost piercing the wandering clouds of color rose...
drifting towards the lustrous sunset of May;
can a strayed soul obtain redemption with deep-felt remorse?
These are the thoughts of an innocent mind...
 contemplating creation with the purest feeling! 

Have the ever stopped along the roads
swarmed with mimosa and jasmine and inhale
the fragrance of their tiny flowers,
being totally inhabriated by their smell?
These are the thoughts of an innocent mind...
thrilled by the natural state of the wild!
 
Have they ever seen those cities made of concrete,
where the errants struggle to breath,
and sunlight is as rare as an uninvited sunset;
there the church bells toll in extreme heat!
These are the thoughts of an innocent mind...
seeking,but not finding spirituality of any kind!


Details | Ballad | |

A LONG WAIT BY THE SILENT TELEPHONE

If I transformed myself into something
that feels no joy or expresses no feeling:
like those stones in the wilderness
that feel no warmth or coldness,
I'd get rid of this carnal lust...
not fearing what it may cost!

A long wait by the silent telephone 
is like dying slowly
without  ever knowing why;
I trusted in you like I trusted in God...
my mistake is all too believable:
I shouldn't have and spared me some misery!

I can't look out of this window
when winter covers these memories with snow;
loneliness has never been so despised 
by me as it is right now,because my joy has faded
and it won't be remembered in spring...
when all the joyful robins sing!

A long wait by the silent telephone
is giving up the little hope I have inside...
as the evening invites the angry wind 
to scatter all that was beautiful;  
I fight with my anger:  hardily seeing or learning...
losing the wisdom that brings understanding!


Details | Ballad | |

I'm Invisible

What to live for
What to feel
Is this a dream?
Or is this real?
Who I used to be
Now I'm not
Look around
What have I got?
On my own
I used to be
Depending on others
That's not me
No desire to live
Nothing left to give
Heaven or hell
Which one will it be?
A cry for help
Nobody sees
I wanna go up
Already been down
I wanna be free
Nobody's clown


Details | Ballad | |

INFELICITY

I should go				            I’ll go			If I knew what was right
I should just go				 I’d go			    If I could do that too
Just write a letter			         And go			If I could sacrifice my heart
Say goodbye				        Then go			If I could see the outcome
See you later				         Just go			If I was strong enough
Tell you I love you			        Right now go		If I was brave enough
Scream out my misery			I could go		If I was wise enough
Cry out my broken heart		        I will go		                       If I wasn’t afraid
Wail across the sky my love	     I want to go		         If I wasn’t in love
I should just go right now		I won’t go		                     If I wasn’t haunted
I should go before its too late	       I can’t go		                      If I wasn’t
already lost
I should go before I cannot		I need to go		              If I wouldn’t fade away
I should tell you nothing		    I have to go		  If I wouldn’t fall apart
I should whisper nothing of this     I must go		                If I wouldn’t hurt you too
Bite my tongue				        I should go		            If I wouldn’t scream forever
Forget my dreams			      I’d go			              If I could escape in sleep
Smile and laugh my lie			      I’ll go			                If I could hide in dream
Joke with you for a smile		        I’ll just go		              If I could sing again later
I should go before I see you again	    I go			If I could love again later
I should just go				            Go			         If I could remember how
Because I cannot bear it			   Go			            If I was better than I am
The knowledge of another inside you	GO!!		  	          If I was anything at all
I should go				                    I’ll go away		If I was a kinder man
Before I really die			                 I’ll go and fall		If I was a promise
I should go				                    I’ll go today!		       If I were someone alone
I should					               I’ll go Tonight!!		If I were someone whole
Shouldn’t I go				                  I’ll go right now!!!	         If I were a warrior
	
I will leave you now 
And linger no more on the fringes of your life
If I am anything at all like you believe me to be
I will call you and wish you well, 
Wish you all the happiness I want for you
If I am a shadow of the song you see me as
I will just run silent 
And let you go like fate meant for us to be
Before you really knew me too
If I am a warrior, if I am, if I were . . .
I would lay down my soul and walk away 
But, 
I am not a warrior

How can I be . . ?


Details | Ballad | |

Recollections

This is what I remember
When I think of you
It's as if I'm flying
Limitless unbound

Lifted spirits
Dilated eyes
Quintessential love

I envision those flowers
So perfectly placed in your hair
As we dance the night away

Forgetting all that is wicked
Relief beyond belief
Memories of evenings shared
Staring at the stars
Enthralled by precious moon lit skies
Those next mornings
And the way your eyes
Appear the second you awaken
Soft smiles between us both
As your genuine heart
Radiates oh so immensely

Completely sharing
These special moments
Committed to sharing equal roles
Getting a chance to explore
And discover
What you really want in life

That was my chance
But I blew it

Should have seized
And fully absorbed
Those times as precious
As those cozy
Refreshing mornings


Details | Ballad | |

Forsaken Eurydice

[Satyr]
A quick game is all it will be
I can tell you can hear my shouts and screams from forest 
Your home it beckons thee
Why won't you come and play with me?
 
Why cant you cure her?
The venom isn't too deep
If you could awaken her once
Cant you do it again
 Did sorrow blind you?
 
 [Orpheus] 
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee
Why I not could listen to the dread king
All the life to you I could bring
I had to look back with eyes of dismay
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee 
Music no more will there be 
For I have forsaken my Eurydice 
 
 [Persophone] 
He will never listen 
No is all you will hear
Death is always the killer of love
Death will always win
 
 [Hades] 
Go back to your kingdom
My words have been proclaimed
Your music will not be able to charm
 
 [Persophone] 
Why don't you please
Give him his love
He went this far in vainI
f he cannot see her blank face
Wont why you please
 
  [Orpheus]
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee
Why I not could listen to the dread king
All the life to you I could bring
I had to look back with eyes of dismay
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee 
Music no more will there be
 For I have forsaken my Eurydice
 
 [Hades]
If it will please
You can see her
Only without your eyes
Throughout the dark realm
Looking back will forsaken your Eurydice
 
  [Orpheus]
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee
Why I not could listen to the dread king
All the life to you I could bring
I had to look back with eyes of dismay
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee 
Music no more will there be
 For I have forsaken my Eurydice


Details | Ballad | |

Looking For Love

As each day unfolds
I wonder what my future holds

Will I find him? Will he stay?
Will his heart be mine one day?

Is he even out there?  Will it be real
that I could have true love to feel?

Will I be alone again tomorrow?
Will he take me from this sorrow?

How long can my heart survive?
Until my love can come alive


Details | Ballad | |

Asking Questions

She pursed her lips together
and stared into my eyes
She asked me to tell her
what's on my mind.
I try to assure her
that everything's alright
but she knows that deep down
im hurting all the time.

Dark pasts and memories
are breaking barriers in
my head.
And like the deepest sea's
the invade every space and
spread.
She looks at me teary eyed
as she sees me upset
i know she wouldn't lie
but head finds it hard to 
except.

Asking these questions 
and i know it's not fair, not right
and im not trying to start a fight tonight.
Asking these questions
i know it's not fair or right
but i just want this to be alright.

She knows my history as her eyes
dart to the door,
of the hurtful women i knew before.
The wounds still so fresh in my mind
that it makes me break down in tears,
that a repeat performance, and then all
this would disappear.

She smiles at me and i smile back
at the woman who i do adore.
The one who took my heart and won't
drop it down on the floor.
She tells me she loves me and the
bad feelings fade away once again.
I hate that im this way
but i guess this is how i always
have been.

Asking these questions 
and i know it's not fair, not right
and im not trying to start a fight tonight.
Asking these questions
i know it's not fair or right
but i just want this to be alright.
I just need to know we're alright.


Details | Ballad | |

THE AGONY OF MY REGRET

We could have been the perfect pair,
love openly without a care;
secrets, not lies, made me more aware and sad!
You were already committed to someone else,
had kids and a handsome husband
within your reach;
the only missing link
was someone with crafted hands...
someone who could make you dream!

The agony of my regret 
is something I could never forget;
look at you:  you are happy,
and don't need me
to take you to the fartest star,
because you've everything...
and I have nothing!
The agony of my regret hurts in many ways,
and will follow me through my blue nights:
when I stare at the dimmest stars
too distant for me to be reached...
wishing it was you I touched!

We could have loved a lifetime, make
everything easy and wonderful...paint
our rainbows with beautiful colors;
lie beneath the most peaceful skies,
interweave ourselves in warm embraces
and forever dream in a meadow of daises!


Details | Ballad | |

Long Walk Home

All these years, so many years
all the pain i have endored
all to do with the pursuit
of you.
All the miles i walked alone
broken hearted, heart like stone
just to feel like i was somewhat close
to home.

There were days that i wondered
if i'd ever make it back.
There were days that i wondered
if i'd ever get on track.
There were days that i wondered
if i'd ever make it back.
There were days that i wondered
if i'd ever get on track.

To every pain inside my soul
felt like losing all control
but it was you who finally made
me whole.
Held my hand, you understand
never the one to let me go
and now i finally feel at home.

There were days that i wondered
if i'd ever make it back.
There were days that i wondered
if i'd ever get on track.
There were days that i wondered
if i'd ever make it back.
There were days that i wondered
if i'd ever get on track.

Baby when you show me how
out of hurt now i stand proud and all
i wanna do is be with you right now.
The track is long, the train is loud
but it's you im all about as all these
emotions start pouring out.


Details | Ballad | |

My Understanding

A criminal mind is a critical accusation
A jared passion is an amintined arguement
A mad-man is a crutial saddness
A blind man is unseen pain
A def man is a unheared voice
A cripppled man is angery in full of selfishness
A plauged man is selfless sufferee and greedy
A  guilty man is shamed in driven
An innocent man is envius in lost
A darkman is suculante in mercy
A light man is devius in his ways
The moon has no equal
The sun has no rights


Details | Ballad | |

All Alone

I can’t hold on, for much longer.
If I want to survive, I’ll have to be stronger.
I don’t think I’ll make it, all by myself.
I need someone with me, someone else.
I do not need money, a house, or land.
Just someone to talk to, someone like a friend.
I have plenty of space, and feel plenty free.
But this loneliness, is killing me.
I know I wished, to be all alone.
But I am going crazy, in this empty home.
I cry out now, for something better.
I do not want, to be alone forever.
Every now and then I hear a voice, and shout with glee.
But then reality hits me, and I lay down in misery.
The silence here, is causing me pain.
Someone please help me, I’m going insane.
If only there were people here, some human form of life.
I would not be by myself, I could end my strife.
I am so cold, so cold and lonely.
The loneliness here, is killing me slowly.
I say to myself, “Someone will find me.”
Just the thought of that lie, cheers me up slightly.
After a while, the thought goes away.
Over and over, night turns to day.
My body can’t take it, my heart my core.
It’s just not worth it, anymore.
As the knife slides in, I make a slight groan.
The worst way to die, is dying all alone.


Details | Ballad | |

To a thief.

Were these not your words that I read,
  a poets thoughts or a stolen spread.
My write, my thoughts, my struggles, my past,
  written for others to read or stolen for others laughs.
A rhyme brought together by the pain in side,
  you stole the emotions I cried.
Gone are the thoughts of some day,
   mirrored by the stupid game you played.
I found a site that put my mind at ease,
   I thought this site was my destiny.
It`s true ....the words are all we see,
   what put them together ...life's sobriety .
Now in your pages with others believing there yours,
   you didn`t fill the pain you didn`t unlock these doors.
So to you a write ....Thief of words thug on a site,
  take this poem and let your craft take flight,
the words you stole were some ones write.
tell the others this was your poem you wrote last night,
and when your praised hold back remorse with all your might, 
let them believe your this bright,
and deep down you know you were not right,
for a poem is felt and in a poets heart it`s held tight,
to let it out and put it in others sight,
takes a lot of courage to bring it to light,
so thief take it without a care and let the guilt be your fight.


Details | Ballad | |

MESSAGE LOST

This internal conflict 
I cannot fight 
This is not black and white 
This unreasoned spite 

I cannot get through 
I have tried 
This message lost too, 
lost in the deep wide 

Two forces collide, 
the pieces scattered 
far and wide 
Years to track down what mattered 

This restless angry sea 
throws its might at me 
Waves of emotion 
Seething ocean 

What can I repair? 
This loss of tranquillity 
It is so unfair! 
Am I losing my sensibility? 

Is this damage done? 
Have I lost a son? 
Has the restless angry sea won? 

The lost message, 
floating on angry restless sea 
It must be me 
The things I might have done, 
to make me think 
Before I sink 
Before my son 

I cannot get through 
He wont let me too 
Rising sea, 
beating its waves on me 

This storm must stop 
I am ready to drop 
Seething sea, 
throwing its'self at me 
Waves of emotion 
Restless ocean 

This conflict I cannot fight, 
peace is a right 
This restless angry sea, 
upon storm tossed message 
that is me 


Details | Ballad | |

I Do Believe

I do believe. In everything you say
When times are better,
We’ll be together again.
After the war.

But until then:
You’d better run to me
Come to me,
I’m here with open arms

Waiting in darkness
 Till’ you come and set me free
Help me to just believe
In love.

Well, I do believe. In everything you say
When times are better 
We’ll be together again,
After the war.

But until then:
You’d better run to me
Come to me,
I’m here with open arms

Waiting in darkness
 Till’ you come and set me free
Help me to just believe

Help me to just believe
Oh I do believe.
Do believe,
In your love.


Details | Ballad | |

SOMETHING HAS GOT TO CHANGE...

Something has got to change...
snap out of your foolish rage;
be honest with yourself,
and say," I don't want to be yours! "

Not long ago,
you adored me
like there's was 
no other man on earth;
a moment ago,
you refused to be touched;
and while I'm playing your song,
you look away...  

Something has got to change...
how come you can't breath
the same air that I breath,
and have the same needs that I have?
Why can't you,at least, feel the joy
of being loved so faithfully,
and why you hate my looks of sweetness;
don't I love you nevertheless?

Something has got to change...
our moments together
can't turn into memories:
they must live inside of us!
Something has got to change...
I laid everything at your feet,
hoping you'd keep this secret;
I offered you more than love,
and you shouldn't kick it  and step on it...
like it was a worthless stone! 
Something has got to change today...
search for kindness and pity,
and be willing to care!


Details | Ballad | |

Dylan Thomas

I know you will miss me life 
“As I go so gently into this night”

In our final hours 
We lay as possums 
Not but never
Will the limbs of this flower blossom
You held life so kindly 
I only ask was it trust
And if so 
Shall we continue to reach for the shadow behind us

I know you will miss me life 
“As I go so gently into this night”

I now bleed 
For I believe
My surroundings breathe 
Upon thy curse of me
From the belly of pompous we will continue to grow
And as for our spectators 
On to hell, with what they know
This is the curse of comfort
Shall we be lain in the final blown trumpet 
 
I know you will miss me life
“As I go so gently into this night”


Details | Ballad | |

He Put Himself To Rest

 Darkness hems the battlefield
As the fury rages on
With armor, sword, and shield
These soldiers weigh a ton.

They fight for many days
They fight for many nights
And each soldier falls and lays
After fighting for his rights.

There is nothing they can do
But hope they do not die
And maybe make it through
To say their last goodbye.

This war will never end
Until only one man stands
Losing his best friend
With blood upon his hands.

When the tragic war is  done
And the hatred has been ceased
One man stands alone
Prevailing like a beast.

Wandering down the field
Among all the fallen knights
With armor, sword, and shield
Blood-stained by the fights.

This hero wonders why
A battle can begin
When everyone would die
Leaving no man to win.

After all this thought
After losing every friend
Death is what he sought
From the loss he could not mend.

In his hand he took his sword
And pushed it through his chest
And without another word
He put himself to rest.


Details | Ballad | |

EACH TEAR WILL BE A PRAYER

Where are you going
young soldiers with bold faces,
marching and singing
with pride and grace?
And to whom are you bringing your freedom
that onlookers applaud?

You are leaving your great country,
the country that gave you dignity...
as you walk toward the anchored battleships!
How long will you be away and dream
of your loved ones and friends,
but will their words bring you some comfort?
And who will be there to hear
the last words of your thoughts?

You are alike the tall sunflowers,
nourished by the generous sun,
but your mission is much greater than these,
because you fight for a true purpose,
and you risk your young lives for peace...
because freedom sets a price of its own!

Brave and determined soldiers,
suppressing the tears that won't fall,
your triumphant voices subside
the cries of those down below;
whenever your courage surpasses fears,
and thier smiles won't be there...
you'll make the ultimate sacrifice
for those who will not forget you ever!


Details | Ballad | |

Alone

 
Alone....
I think we have all felt this

I await, await here alone only wishing to hear the whispers 

of your oh so subtle firm but gentle voice, Something 

happened that took that all away, I had always figured it 

would be a blond with a super model shape. Only now I wish 

that was the case, HOW could you leave me alone....We all 

feel pain, hate, pity, sorrow, anger, lust, greed, greaf, 

and loneliness. How ironic that you leaving this place as 

the tears role down my pale cheeks that now I am truly 

alone. Aren't we all Alone, we struggle to become one and 

fit in, and fight for individuality, but inside are we all 

empty, depressed, horrifying, guilty, morbid, sad Alone...


Details | Ballad | |

MESSAGE LOST

This internal conflict 
I cannot fight 
This is not black and white 
This unreasoned spite 

I cannot get through 
I have tried 
This message lost too, 
lost in the deep wide 

Two forces collide, 
the pieces scattered 
far and wide 
Years to track down what mattered 

This restless angry sea 
throws its might at me 
Waves of emotion 
Seething ocean 

What can I repair? 
This loss of tranquillity 
It is so unfair! 
Am I losing my sensibility? 

Is this damage done? 
Have I lost a son? 
Has the restless angry sea won? 

The lost message, 
floating on angry restless sea 
It must be me 
The things I might have done, 
to make me think 
Before I sink 
Before my son 

I cannot get through 
He wont let me too 
Rising sea, 
beating its waves on me 

This storm must stop 
I am ready to drop 
Seething sea, 
throwing its'self at me 
Waves of emotion 
Restless ocean 

This conflict, I cannot fight, 
peace is a right 
This restless angry sea, 
upon storm tossed message 
that is me 


Details | Ballad | |

I WILL WRITE END

This very minute,I will write end
at the bottom of my last song;
it's better to cry more tears
than hanging on on silly fears!

Only once we screamed in passion,
then we grew further apart;
we saw the beautiful sunset,
now we see an ugly sunrise,
and it hurts more to realize 
that I've been wrong twice...
and there's no hope for redemption!

I was drawn to you by a strong need,
throwing away my chance with others;
the only sunlight I saw was in you alone...
my quick downfall didn't take that long!
You talked kindly and sweetly,
coloring my big dreams brightly...
taking me to the bluest sky
that a lover could ever see; 
I soared with you...just feeling happy, 
not thinking I looked through the eyes
of an unsuspecting and deceived fool... 
winding with the speed of a spool!  

I will write end
with the sadness of a betrayed heart,
breaking down...to fill up
the banks of an empty river;
I will write end
to never remember you ever loved me,
or were a part  of my existence...
your memory will disappear in an instant!


Details | Ballad | |

SCARLET ROSES OF AUGUST

I feel no sympathy
for someone who doesn't call
when I send her roses;
I tried to apologize for all
the unkindness
and the anger that made me run
from her and wind up alone;   
how I wanted to take
those words back...
even these tears 
won't prove my sincerity!  

Scarlet roses of August...
the bright color of the sunset
on a summer's evening,
today is another lonesome beginning
for me who finds your unforgiveness so vain...
made stronger by my useless pain!

I didn't have wings...I learned to fly, 
and it took  more than good faith
to believe in you step by step;
now all ends with this sad goodbye!

Scarlet roses of August...
staring at me and my vanity;
it could have turned out differently,
if I only had treated her more kindly! 


Details | Ballad | |

CONSOLE THEM WITH SONG

A cool rain has come down,
and stopped the rising of the sun:
a day of mourning for all in the silent city,
and it feels as sad as it felt yesterday;
eyes cry and mix themselves
 with the falling raindrops...

Console them with song,
with words that don't speak of indignation;
all they want is a possible consolation,
because a loss of someone so loved...
looks for ways of healing through faith,
and if they can't be found...they'll rely on strength! 

I've never seen so many flowers
laid at the site of the memorial,
and thousands of names being read
at the exact time the attacks occurred;
more tears and sobs, but also prayers
will be heard for the brave and exceptional!

Console them with song,
give them your comforting hugs,
and a flag of endless gratitude...
that flag they died for and they truly loved;
and we who are alive must remember their sacrifice
by walking together and being strong!  

Now, those sad faces see a ray of hope, at nine,
shining on them from the parting clouds;
no rain, no sorrow and tears to add to their pain...
only a certain feeling of ease from words
that are exchanged amid the voices of children:
the generation to rebuild what was torn down!


Details | Ballad | |

LOSING WHAT'S NOT MINE

Escaping reality
seems the only way
to really feel free;
lying back on a soft meadow,
looking up to see
the scarlet moon 
rushing against another shadow...
before the coming of dawn!

Losing what's not mine,
its very hard of letting go,
because it took more
that faith to get where I am...
and only be left with pride! 

I took a forgotten dream,
and turned it into a vision:
to set the mood of passion...
to steadly touch, not just feel!

Losing what' not mine
makes me doubt the meaning 
of those unconvincing words;
how did I fell for a lie so unforgiving,
too unpleasant to be remembered by time... 
to which everything belongs?

Every star has gone to another sky,
and the pale moon won't leave;
how should I forget about Eve,
if I have no strength to cry?

  


Details | Ballad | |

Moving on by pretending it never happened

That night I left I was totally sure
I was happy we wouldn't’t argue anymore


Checking my e-mails just to see your name


Reflections in water are blurred and distorted
My mind is no different with happiness retorted


Checking my e-mails just to see your name


The water of my emotions runs clear
There is nothing to taint the memories I hold dear


Checking my e-mails just to see your name


But that’s not true what about the lies and fights
I wish I could hate you and stop imagining this saint

Its time to move on
Delete out box, in box and unsent


Details | Ballad | |

A Test Of Your Courage

Constant assurance
a test of your courage
a gauge of emotions and trust

Tell me you need it 
and never want to leave it
this is how I feel love
its not lust

He tells me he loves me 
I question it, does he?
I can't help but fall for it
I must

I'm starting to lose it 
because this heart you just use it 
you've extinguished my soul with
one gust


Details | Ballad | |

WITH SOMEBODY AS KIND AS YOU

Why am I being too impatient,
wishing to have again what
can make me feel that something? 
Why do I have to put away
all that I cherished,so dearly,
about  you and your way of giving?

You should have been:
my only idol,the only face
to appear in these night dreams;
someone who made
all these dull moments bright
and allowed me to fly without wings;
because no other heart 
loved me more than yours,
because no other eyes
smiled at me more than yours!


With somebody as kind as you
to give everything to, I refuse
to believe in someone else;
and I will gladly wait 
than throw everything to the wind!
With somebody as kind as you,
there's a better reason
to live life in delightful days!

You should have been my only light  
to chase away this cold darkness;
I have waited...shivering in thick shadows,
hoping to feel your warm fire...
to rekindle my lost desire!
I have searched and found the dim moonlight:
giving me no warmth,no hope...
offering me no words to speak
with somebody as kind as you;
only the sad smile of the unfriendly moon....


Details | Ballad | |

A WISH FOR RICHNESS

It may sound foolish or even insane
to have a wish for richness or fame,
and it's perfectly normal and human 
to long for things we don't have;
but it's morally wrong to use them
against others...for one's greed and gain!

That conviction comes from inside,
uncovering the unclearness of doubt...
without being afraid of answers so dark;
faith seems worthless without a vision in the mind..
be persistent in seeking gold with an enormous risk,
and many will try a thousand times until they find it! 

A small seed will grow into a rich harvest...
sun-nurtured and rain-quencher before sunset,
and all these things you desire
are obtained through prayer;
don't heed the cynic's advice:
push forward  with endless stride!

A wish for richness has different motives,
discard the unworthy ones, consider the good ones;
curiousity and effort make people successful,
'till their empty basket is completely full!
Never did I see  believers struggle for food;
it was given because they bow down to a true God! 

Real food comes from the fertile earth,
those who eat it will not know early death;
millions of people die from man-made diseases:
cigarettes, drugs, alchool, and promiscuous sex;
if these are to continue, there'll be no one left!  

Be considerate of others...don't do anything
you don't want to be done to yourself;
have the kindest heart overflowing with giving:
never stop at anything, if someone laughs;
your determination is the result of dedication:
let all watch and envy you for your perception!       


Details | Ballad | |

Make me blue

Make me blue
Make me feel my pain
Make me tast poison
Make me stay away from everyone
Make me hide
Make me feel bad inside
Make me flee from my friends
Make me see the life of a hobo
Make me see life through the opposite that I see it throught now
Make me blue
Why dont you make me blue.


Details | Ballad | |

SWELLING WITH PRIDE

This is a breezy and starry night,
with no strange sounds to induce its mystery;
lingering with sadness is the loneliest heart
opening the pages of an unfinished diary...
as I sit alone drinking my bitter wine,
but it should be sweet to make me feel fine!

Has anyone seen me swelling with pride,
wrapping my arms around her hips
and pressing on her soft and scented lips...
until my wild kisses would make my sweetheart fall:
wasting not a minute to convince her how I felt inside?
How could her jealousy have been the cause of imagination?  
I couldn't help being noticed by ladies of indiscretion...
if I resembled an Adonis standing on a pedestal!

Should I find anyone to explain this rage with easiness?
Would anyone be willing to stand by me
and allow me to be the kind of lover I try to be,
or let me die without ever knowing the feeling of fullness?
I still wait by the doogwood tree
where that pretty star stood still...
giving us another reason to stay longer
by the glimmering waters of the river!  

This is a peaceful and wonderful night
hearing the invisible crickets share their delight;
I lie beneath the shadows of tall trees,
and make my wish for more dreams:
hoping to never feel this cold,
being fully loved and understood...
 
Consumed by incomprehension,
somehow swelling with pride,
and yet I rest amid the dreams of incompletion;
my restless spirit has wings to soar high,
but it needs the strongest wind to lift it up...
and make it float 'till it can't stop!


Details | Ballad | |

AMONG OTHER THINGS...

Among other things...
don't forget to call me...
when you arrive in Rome, Italy;
hold my picture very closely!

Beautiful Italian boys
will steal your innocence on the spot;
they know the secret to attraction:
sweet words and tender looks,
and they woudn't care whom they hurt...
it's all in their inborn passion!

Among other things...
hang my lucky charm around your neck,
don't leave it somewhere else when you wake;
it's more than a promise when someone is faithful,
and resist all the temptations with a call:
love's reached without wings!   

Be only touched with trueness,
ignore that instant sensation, 
because they all promise gratification
by recognizing the signs of loneliness;
keep fighting it off with your fist,
and tell yourself, " It won't last! " 

Among other things...
hold true to your feeling as fond as care,
don't lose something,so precious and rare, 
for an intimate hour that'll go to waste;
it's better to taste nothing
than a false sweetness!
 








Details | Ballad | |

Life Insurance

The countdown has begun 
Tomorrow night at the setting of the sun 
The government has me being punished for something I didn't do 
I pray the same thing doesn't happen to you 
I've insisted you have the wrong man 
I have life insurance money of 200 grand 
I told her to divorce me and move on 
I will be six feet under in two more dawns 
I requested lethal injection, but they are giving me the chair 
I have always had trouble, but this is my worst to compare 
Tomorrow at this time they will announce dead man walking 
Between the governor and my lawyer, I hope there is some talking 
During a time like this, I wonder where is our maker 
I must be prepared to see the undertaker 
I have requested my last meal 
Some chops and ribs fresh from a grill 
Now I must say good bye, it's my time to go 
The preacher tells me may the Lord have mercy on your soul 
I have always had a fear for the unknown 
As the minutes pass by, it has grown 
I will now say my final prayer 
At the pearl gates, hopefully my soul will arrive there 
As my wife enjoys the insurance money 
Life sometimes isn't so funny


Details | Ballad | |

Fallen Angel

your life’s in a rut
you’re stuck in second gear
quickly losing all you’ve ever held dear

all your ambitions
all your life’s missions
no longer exist in your mind

the things you’ve done were all in vain
nothing you’ve found eases the pain
you want to end it all this very night

you tried to climb to the top
only failing to see
that maybe making it was never your destiny

you’ve no more strength to carry on
your life’s struggles have lasted too long
the ballad of your life is the saddest song

you dive from up high
flying like a fallen angel at last
letting go of your grievous past

the people finally see you from down below
finally see you drowning in sorrow
your time has now come and passed

as your body rains from the skies
everybody finally hears your desperate cries
but it’s too late to help you now

you’re falling down
falling toward your very end
leaving behind no family or friend

you hit the ground
now the world gathers round
staring in wondrous horror

you lie there in death
having breathed your last breath
suffering your life no more


Details | Ballad | |

REDEMPTION BY THE CROSS

He was with God before the world came to be,
and He created with Him our breath-taking Universe;
His name was Jesus,the Redeemer of the Human Race:
and to change and save us was His destiny...

He preached in the Temple, and all Jerusalem listened carefully,
but some didn't like to hear how He spoke against evil so openly;
and they weren't the Romans,the conquerors,
but those hypocrites in high places...

Jesus drew huge crowds by lakes and mountains,
by the country roads and in small towns;
they all came to hear the Gospel with gladness,
and Joseph was one of the priests who heeded those words...

On the lake of Genesaret, Jesus performed another miracle,
telling Peter to lower the net for a catch, but he was skeptical: 
until he saw the boat was about to sink with the heavy load,
and he came to realize the bounty of God... 

As Jesus became popular and all heard Him preach,
the priests and scribes became jealous of Him,
and planned to capture Him and found Him guilty of blasphemy:
by the very hands of Pontius Pilate who feared to condemn Him...  

But the crowd cried out, " Release Barabbas! ",
and those who called out the name, "Jesus,Jesus! "
were beaten and silenced by a mob who had no mercy;
Pontius Pilate had no choice but to deny His liberty...   

The Roman soldiers grabbed Jesus
and took Him to governor's place,
and they stripped and whipped Him 'till he bled;
and worst of all : a crown of thorns they put on His head... 

Along the Via Dolorosa Jesus carried the cross to His death 
as the women wept and men mocked Him with laughs,
never a commotion,so great, was felt in all Jerusalem;
a follower gave Him water, but he was restrained by swords...

The merciless soldiers placed the cross upon Jesus's shoulders,
and Simon from Cyrene finished bearing it behind Jesus;
he really felt the same pain and agony;
and from Jesus's smile, he knew He was relieved...

From the cross at Golgotha, Jesus asked His father
to forgive them as John stood by his mother;
to one of the evildoers He promised Paradise at no cost:
and to all who would believe and follow:  redemption by the cross....
 


Details | Ballad | |

Think of me

Think of me
When I'm gone
Hold me near
Remember me while you can
Think of all the things we have shared
Think of all the things we have seen
Don't think of the way things might have been
Don't think of my many mistakes
Don't think of all the heartakes
Think of all of the good times
And just be glad
That we could live life with each other
So,
Think of me


Details | Ballad | |

UNTITLED

It’s a bad bad day

A sad sad day

A day of logic and reason

Bad bad day

Sad sad day

The day you took my soul to prison

 

This is not how I want it to be

I just want to have you here with me

But you already have a family

And you don’t want any part of me

Now you closed the door to make me see

That it will never be you and me

 

Is it a crime to undermine

The things that logic stands for

In your mind there’s no reason or rhyme

For me loving you more and more

But I know that in time

You will realize that my love for you is forevermore

 
It’s a bad bad day

A sad sad day

A day of logic and reason

Bad bad day

Sad sad day

The day you took my soul to prison



Logic says that I should turn away

There really is no reason for me to stay

But I do love you come what may

And if prison is the price that I have to pay

Then I would be more than willing

Because I can not stop myself from feeling

 

And only you can set me free

That is how it’s meant to be

For without you I’m just a ghost

Without the woman I love the most

And it is by fate’s decree

That only you can set me free


Details | Ballad | |

I miss you

I miss you when your away
I miss you every day

I miss you when your in Boston
I miss you when your in Austin

I miss you when your not here
I miss you my dear

I miss you when I dont her from you
When I don't hear  "I love you too"

So, baby
Maybe,
I wont miss you so
And we can be togehter, like we did a long, long time ago


Details | Ballad | |

JOHN AND JANE

In this world we live in there’s a lot of things that can’t be explained
A man and a woman who lives in different countries falling in love just the same
Though he’s never seen her and his photo was all she had glimpsed
They can still feel each other and that’s all that matters for these lovers named 
John and Jane

REFRAIN
Yes John and Jane, two ordinary people connected by feelings unexplained
He couldn’t resist her even if he knew he could never have her, his pretty Jane
She’s already married and  that’s why she’s worried to have feelings for John
Two star crossed lovers who’ll never have each other yet inside they know that 
they’re one


He tries to accept it and like a man play the card that fate had dealt him
But inside he suffers and wishes this life would be just a dream
She knows how he’s feeling, deep inside he is dying and it causes a tension in 
her
She promised him one thing that as a friend she will always be there for him

(REPEAT REFRAIN)

Inside he’s aching his whole body’s shaking feeling the need for his Jane
He knows that it’s wrong to yearn for somebody who’s not free like his Jane
But he doesn’t want another no other woman would make him feel like she does
And in his pain he cries out for the Gods to turn him to dust

(REPEAT REFRAIN)

John and Jane will only be together in dreams ……..


Details | Ballad | |

DID I EVER TELL YOU?

Did I ever tell you?
Of a time
Of a land
Where we fought
Where we lived
For ideals
When a cause was right
How we never lost
Yet, we faded in to the night
 
Did I ever tell you?
Of African stars
So bright
As we camped in the bush
Waiting for first light
 
Did I ever tell you?
Your first contact
The one you remember so vividly
When Mike died
The casevac...
How they tried
They couldn't keep him
The tears
How we all cried...
 
Did I ever tell you?
Of the bond of men
Sharing our last water
Waiting for resupply
Remember when.......
 
Did i ever tell you?
That Rhodesians
Are scattered to the four winds
Yet,
Themselves
They remember
The Mikes
The contacts
Of African stars
Of African sky
Of dense bush
The 11th of November
U.D.I
 
Did I ever tell you?
You cannot destroy
What lies in the heart
Many have tried
Rhodesians survive
Everywhere
We can look back
At a time
Of a land
Where we fought and lived
With pride


Details | Ballad | |

The Addict

Jesse Burns is warm and fed
Lies upon his mission bed

Hears the suffering, feels the pain
Men who can't turn back again

Slumbers deep amid the snores
Begger men and callous whores

Jesse dreads the morning light
Longs to crawl back into night

Forgot the fact he thrives on dope
Prays to God the will to cope

In single file the souls retreat
To Brave the cold out in the street

Another day on old Skidrow
Begging for a fix

Life goes on in Gastown
Where Jesse gets his fix


Details | Ballad | |

Song of the Dying

You don’t feel upon lying
So you sing the song of the dying
Sunday afternoons 
Pastors choose reign in a spiritual doom 
The sun plasters we coons 
Stand out and fade faster with the moon
I bid you the same old static and blues
The one always in favor of tempered news
The trail of adventures and rules 
We don’t heal upon crying 
So we sing the song of the dying
The highways haunts you
Night sky’s taunt the blue 
All life wants from you
Is the truth
The secrets they’re telling you
One just knows not what to do 
Feel like you want to cry
Coincidentally you realize 
It would be better to die 
We don’t feel upon lying 
So we sing the song of the dying 
I’ve given away myself in every song
Driven the bars last liquor home
No sympathy for an aging man
For I cannot feel your tears 
Upon my rough hands 
My scared palms 
My irrelevance 
bared in chapters of Psalms 
Until my ending is calmed 


Details | Ballad | |

Amazing You

Confusion has started to clutter my mind.
 I can't seem to understand somethings sometimes.

I used to believe that dreams come true.
But I found out that that was a lie, because I don't have you.

I used to go to sleep at night wondering where you are, who your with, and what 
your up to.
I guess those where the days and those where the things I used to do.

I miss you more and more each and everyday. 
There is so much on my mind and so much I have to say.

I wish we were together, that is my heart's desire, because the pain I feel is 
burning my heart like fire.

Please come back to me so my heart can finally heal, beacuse the love I have for 
you is now and will always be real.


Details | Ballad | |

I'VE LOOKED FOR SOMEONE REAL

I've looked for someone real...
who's pretty and has sex appeal;
beside loyalty and caring,
there is also much cheating!

Lots of people still live
in a world of steady fantasy...
they' will never leave...
others take, they don't give;
they hurt constantly,
and they don't forgive anybody!

I've looked for someone real...
who loves and gives to the full;
life's born of hope, too;
it's so wonderful 
good friends to run to...
I've looked for someone real!

I've looked for someone real...
who knows how to satisfy
my wildest desire
without a goodbye;
I can't let despair
take away the plans
I've made and still
make for someone real...
my tomorrow would be
so sad and worthless!

I've looked for someone real...
who's pretty and has sex appeal;
besides loyalty and caring,
there is also much cheating!


Details | Ballad | |

The Sea

The calming of the sea
The very palms
In which 
every man wishes to be
No boundaries, free
Where men fought for hollow trees
With branches, limbs
Bare arms, no sleeves 
Buried 
With the fragrance of fallen leaves
Upon these times we wish
We dream of molecules
Endless mercury to kiss 
Lain for now and tomorrow
My life, 
The melody,
You have all come to miss
Welcome to the calming of the sea
The very palms 
Inwhich every man wishes to be


Details | Ballad | |

CHARIOT OF FIRE

Timeless roar of sea.......... 
Races to run........... 
Running with the sun 
This could be me 

I hear my heart beating, 
loudly in my chest 
Smooth flow 
This running show 
No time for rest 

So many miles to run 
This race not yet won 
Not in reach........... 
The dying sun, 
on this lonely beach 

Breathe this sea, 
running free 
Lonely beach, 
the running me, 
not in reach 

Running sea, 
wind lull 
Flying gull 
finding me, 

Relentless roar of sea, 
running me 
Hearts desire 
Chariot of fire 
Running sea 

The heart inside, 
the chariot of fire 
Running far and wide, 
lifts me higher 

Rhythmic roaring, 
gulls soaring, 
flying higher, 
chariots of fire 

My chariot of fire, 
sound of the sea 
Paternal flier 
The gentle me 

The running heart 
The running sea 
Takes part............... 
part of me............ 


Details | Ballad | |

Wings to Fly

If I had wings to fly
I would surely fly away
To a desert time and place
So none could find my face
If I had wings to fly
I would soar above the clouds
Far from here and now
To where? To there somehow
If I had wings to fly

If I had wings to fly
I would fly to be alone
Where nothing could go wrong
And I would sing my song
If I had wings to fly
I would mount above the world
To escape your winds that whirl
And the stones of boys and girls
If I had wings to fly

If I, If I had wings to fly, I would view from a bird's eye
How lonely you and I would be when doves fly, doves cry
If I, If I had wings to fly I would view from a bird's eye
How lonely you and I would be when doves cry, doves die  (Chorus)

If I had wings to fly
I'd fly right back to truth
To a place of hope with you
Where we could start anew
If I had wings to fly
I'd make my flight complete
And take you high with me
For all the world to see
If I had wings to fly

If I had wings to fly
I'd not fly away again
For I was wrong there and then
I won't wish for where I've been
If I had wings to fly
I'd give my wings to you
For your love for me is proved
And our love can not be moved
Even if I had wings to fly


Details | Ballad | |

LAY DOWN WITH NOBODY...

Lay down with nobody,
honor me with your trust;
don't let the delusion of lust...
make you unfree and incomplete!
There are too many false loves,
only mine is pure and real;
once you poor heart shatters into pain:
there's hardly any remedy!

A sweet song, played tenderly, will fall
on these trembling lips
as spring suddenly opens wide its sunny skies:
to  let us slip and fall,
cry and shout with joy...sometime!
Let's avoid being faithless,
let's grab our moments...gliding with happiness;
God will be glad and smile!

Lay down with nobody,
put this thought aside;
never be told of having lied...
of having hidden your stunning secret!
Lay down with nobody,
lest I come short of your expectations;
then, I'll have to live with it,
and bear all the consequences!

Lay dow with nobody,
don't destroy what's so great and perfect;
lay down with nobody...
emotions don't feel right when they're fake! 


Details | Ballad | |

THE ABSENCE OF LUCILLE

As daytime runs out, I will feel
the absence of Lucille,
who's going with the leaves
 blown away by the winter's breeze!

Loneliness bring me more tears,
because her distance already hurts,
and when the next evening comes...
it won't have a surprise!

The absence of Lucille is
one of my greatest and worst lossess;
her first dream was stronger  than
the true love I gave her then!

As daytime runs out, I will feel 
the absence of Lucille
who looks for security,
not for sincerity;
I believed she loved
me without pretention,
what has become of her honesty?
Pretty eyes and tender lips,how easily
I fell for your temptation;
beautiful Lucille,why couldn't you stay?


Details | Ballad | |

Life in my eyes.

   Look deep into my eyes and see what I found,
Look at my smile it's life's and undefind, untouched, and experienced.
  My demeanor....the way I walk and talk it's life's up's and down's,
A story stored, memorries harnessed, pain subsided, not unexperienced.
  To you I smile for I know not, for me I smile for I untied life's knot,

I seen life flourish, I seen life fade,I have seen life tarnish in a look.
  I've witness a life gone,I've witness life emergance, I witnessed a life so strong,
I remember my mom's last breath, I remember my kids first breath they took.
  I saw a life taken, I saw a life end, I saw a life stop like a sad love song.
  To you it's for not, to me it's what my eyes sought.

I felt life's heart aches, felt life's rain, but above all I felt my life break,
  Life in a bottle, life in a nut shell, life's begaining and life's end,
I've seen, witnessed, felt, remembered all at steak.
  I live for life raised me to see, fill, cherish and bend.
To you, it's just another breath, to me I now it's all mine till death.

So sing your sad story of pain, pity, remorse, teachings that should be untold,
  Frown, wine, speake of all you heardships blame it all on life,
Close your eyes to what's before you look away from what life beholds.
  I'll live, love, smile for we all hurt at one point and time it's sacrifice.
Live life's breath, live, love and just be, till death.          


Details | Ballad | |

WE ARE ONLY YOUNG ONCE...

As wrinkles become more furrowed,
and hair turns to a more visible shade
of  perfect silver to symbolize a decaying age,
we certainly ponder over death,
not too sure of what awaits us;
and an almost forgotten thought
reminds us of our lost youth:
that we are only young once...

And although we stumble
to reach a mile to our destination,
yesterday it only took a short time;
not to mention how we fumble
for the key to unlock our door and enter
into a peaceful place of wonder:
where memories still abound inside,
and carry us through without desperation...

Are we so feeble to entrust hope to a broken will, 
and not understand the grand plan? 
We can't stop half way throughout  a battle; 
we are still the warriors who can't be defeated,
and if we fall, we'll get up again: 
to push back the enemies 'till they have retreated...

To be of old age may be unacceptable
to those who look upon us with disgust,
because their minds are stripped of all pity;
to be young, indulgent and full of energy:
is something they relish in their thought,
untill they, too, must confront the inevitable....  

We are only young once to assume
the role of invincibility in a brief kingdom;
and if carelessness is pushed aside,
to let our spirit and conscience run wild:
we'll reap a bundle of  losses and regrets,
to hunt us for the rest of our unpleasant days...



Details | Ballad | |

Unexpected

                                           Clouds puffed all over the sky
                                    Stars glimmer with a beautiful glow
                                But, something is up there and unknown
                                         Wait a second....It's....... a fish 
                                    swimming next to the birds flying high
                                             But...How could that happen?!
 


Friends here and there as they always pass by
Where tales are being told everyday
Rumors spread now and then
Yet gossips may shock some from within
  
                                          But again...How could that happen?!

Today, the unexpected took place
Eyes bulged out due to more than shock
In fact, it was the unbelievable clock
Ticking beside the ear's soft surface

                                         But again and again...How could that happen?!

Unconsciously, a friend crystallizes who she is
The way she acts, her character and personality with a tock
Suddenly, shock might be displayed as a huge bee flock
Losing the strong friendship that once marked as a scar....

This friend is a friend of mine in which I though she was indeed a true friend
A mate always there to talk to
Ready to have some fun too
Yet, she popped out of her shell, showing me what she truly beholds

I can't mention and accept what she has done
Yet, she was a lesson
She was a fable that was told
To kids with kites prepared to fold

So sad you might say 
How friendship can fall apart
How it can be destroyed with words simply said
But, a person's mask has to be revealed to make sure it is.....
....safe to trust someone and become true friends.....

I am not upset,
I am not sad,
I am not mad,
But....

                                The unexpected took place.........


Details | Ballad | |

Daughter of Thelema

Wild eyes of Moloch prod evil's rise
Launching an epoch of occult wrath
Obelisks slice open once placid skies
Black brothers prance down the left hand path

Twilight language slithers from forked tongues
Demonic force of atomic fire
Oppenheimer's cult flouts songs unsung
Babylon working death's golem dire

The blue degrees map ritual tests
Incantations dissolve textured space
Cigar burn direct from Satan's nest
Impregnating woe ensures disgrace

Black suits rampage the corrupted womb
Plucking the beastly fetus within
To be locked inside Trinity's tomb
Binding the possessed within hell's spin

Grand blast at the thirty-third degree
Proof of ambitious calculations
While fusing their wicked guarantee
To rope the freewill of all nations

Within months, two more brutal tears fall
Truman pursues Masonic command
Near ground zero, the doomed natives crawl
Victims of fate's cataclysmic hand

Jack Parson's crater haunts the dark side
Tucked from scrutiny like grim intent
A prize for speeding our Babel slide
Beyond our aptitude to repent

Threats still linger beyond destruction
As men hold our whole planet captive
Thelema's spirit aids their function
Even as her daughter grows restive


Details | Ballad | |

Vessels

Within these lines 
I want to cry 
I swear 
There were times 
I wanted to die 
When everyone is watching 
Awaiting your failure 
Salvation 
I cannot begin to tell you 
The soulless figure 
I am about to sell you 
Look beyond me 
Although the most of you 
Are to you young to see 
It seems this suffering 
Belongs only to me 
Sparkles in the sky 
They are not stars 
Only pieces of my heart


Details | Ballad | |

Silence has heard your cry

Silence has heard your cry
Emptying the heartache and pain
For you have captured our hearts
From the depths it will remain.
As you searched to comfort your soul
In the midst confusion appeared.
Transforming your inner most thoughts
Allowing anger to visit your fears.
For God knew your heart
As he visit that occupied space.
He saw your loving desires and 
wanted to take it's place.
Your willingness drew him near
Giving us an opportunity to see your smile.
Thank you for your presence
Now God may take home his child.



Details | Ballad | |

My Portrait

A mountain stands before me
The vision of pain
No escape I find
Fear  now overwhelms the heart
Knowing I must climb
Shadows of doubt abound
Silence is all I hear
The rapid river of torment
Grinding its way through me
Revealing an empty heart
Alone all alone
In a world without pity
Rewarding me by bashing
Laughing as I lay bleeding
Alone always alone
Thou I stretch forth my hand
Air shall be all that I find
Hungry for a simple thing
Communication
Understanding
That I too am man in need
Love is now a desert
With one tear
I dare quench my thirst
Death is no comfort
So where can I look
To find the thing I need
That I thought was at the top
Of the very mountain I climb
Which now I see I shall never find


Details | Ballad | |

the old oak

Verse 1 
There’s a house on a hill with an old oak at the side 
There’s a bridge down the way crossing a river that’s wide 
And the green hills roll forever, it’s a beautiful sight 
With a backdrop of mountains their tips covered white 

Verse 2 
There’s a house on a hill with an old oak at the side 
Where I carved out our names with a small pocket knife 
And the letters we etched in a timeless old tree 
Say that I’ll always love you long past eternity 

Chorus 
I’ll soon be with you angel, this body grows tired 
I’ll soon be with you angel for soon I’ll expire 
I’ll soon be with you angel never then will we part 
I’ll soon be with you angel be still my beating heart 

Verse 3 
There’s a house on a hill with an old oak at the side 
And a single headstone marks the place where you lie 
A chair by the side of your last resting place 
Which I sit in for hours and just stare into space 

Verse 4 
There’s a house on a hill with an old oak at the side 
Tended by a lost soul who hasn’t much time 
It won’t be long now and we’ll be one again 
There’s been so much pain since I lost you my friend 

Chorus 
I’ll soon be with you angel, this body grows tired 
I’ll soon be with you angel for soon I’ll expire 
I’ll soon be with you angel never then will we part 
I’ll soon be with you angel be still my beating heart


Details | Ballad | |

One Fateful Moment

I was nineteen, and he lived on my street. 
I don’t know when, I don’t know why,
But I ended knocked up and living in the streets. 
We were married, divorced, I guess that’s just the course of life.

‘Cause in one fateful moment everything changes. 
In one fateful moment life rearranges. 
In one fateful moment dreams can be shattered. 
And in one fateful moment, my life doesn’t matter.

Well I never figured, I was that way.
Until I saw her, on the subway one day.
We had some great times.
Together, we were happy and sad.

But in one fateful moment everything changes. 
In one fateful moment life rearranges. 
Catching her cheating, just wasn’t part of the plan. 
So now I’m running, running fast as I can. 

City, after city. State, after state.
I thought I was lost, couldn’t find my place. 
I was wondering how long I would last in life’s race. 
Then there was you, and you saw right through my disguise. 

It was that one fateful moment where everything changes. 
That one fateful moment where my life rearranges. 
Where my downs became ups, and my frowns were now smiles. 
Where my dreams come true, and my wish is just for you.

My one fateful moment was when I saw you. 


Details | Ballad | |

Maybe

You think a story like this,
Would be easy to tell. 
But I can’t help fading away,
Just trying to figure out what to say.

Times flying by, 
Trying to help with the pain.
But its digging in,
Just making feel worse to day.

My voice is wearing thin, 
And I’m wearing out.
I don’t have much time,
But I have to figure this one out.

Maybe it’s a dream, 
That I can undo.
Maybe you’re still here, 
And I’m with you.

Maybe, maybe.
I can change me.
Maybe, maybe.
I can save me.

I don’t want to walk down along hallway,
Toward the light anymore.
I don’t want to cry myself to sleep,
Every time I feel pain.

I want to move on,
Maybe just have fun.
I want to get a clue.
Maybe I’ll be like you.

Maybe, maybe.
I’ll find me a friend.
And Maybe, maybe.
This won’t be my end.

Maybe I’ll find someone,
Who will always be there.
Maybe I’ll find one person,
Who can finally care.


Details | Ballad | |

Our Pain

I've seen many horrible things
I have nightmares, no pleasant dreams
I'm reminded of my past
Everytime I go to sleep

You don't know the burdens I have
The demons that are deep inside of me
I'm crying out inside & asking
Can someone please help me

I have no mother, no father, no family
They were all strippped from me
I was left to defend for myself
So how do you want me to be

My country is at war, there will be no peace
There is no food, children starving, not enough to eat
They gave us guns & threw us in the streets
With arms wide open, our destiny's we greet

The government came in to intervene
They promised us a new life
And took us to a new land
Where we still don't have enough to eat

A new jungle, a new war, new streets
A new contest in which to compete
You got to be tough and have a heart of steel
Or you'll be like everyone else in crack hill

They say go to school and find a dream
Get an education and enjoy being free
We'll give you help and support
We'll provide what you need

But all I see is poverty, blood, sweat, and tears
We sell goods at stands, at a good fare
But they just walk past our booths
Snickering their noses in the sir

But our men are the same as your men
And like your women, our's shed tears
Our children may be darker in color
But they still have the same fears

So I sit back and ask myself
How much better is this life
I silently answer the question
Nothing's changed, I'm still fighting for my life

You don't know my struggles
You choose not to see my pain
you just live your priveliged life
And assume I don't need the same

So here we are still standing alone
Swallowing our fears and hiding our tears
Trying to find faith and showing our strength
While believing we'll be free someday


Details | Ballad | |

Old Woman (true tale)

"once i looked up to see
a woman join eternity,
an old woman,
so sick of oldness,
aloneness
lack of direction,
lack of hope,
lack of love,
lack of faith...
so tired 
of the pain
and the horror
of another day
decided today was
to be her last day
on a late date
May, 1969
she breathed for her
last time
I watched in horror,
when she stood 
on the ledge
a moments hesitation
before she finalized
her life
and she jumped
to her end
and I walked
a bit sadder
to see what
life can bring
what pain, 
what undeserved agony,

what could I do?
it was already
too late,
she was gone,
to be with those
she's so long
waited to see again.


Details | Ballad | |

Love Can't Live

Can anybody really love?
Give themselves over completely
Have someone who really know them,
Who can hold them all night?

You see that sign there in the window,
Saying, ‘I heart you don’t let me go.’
Can someone really feel that much emotion,
About someone who’s just another person?

‘Cause I know people come and they go, 
Their nothing special. They’re just on the same road. 
They take their time or quickly pass by. 
But the sharper the look, the harder you ask yourself why. 

So, can anybody really feel love?
Can anybody really dig that deep?
‘Cause you’ll turn around in circles,
All looking for the same things.

And I’ve heard of loving God,
Loving family, and loving your friends.
But I just don’t think a person could ever get deep enough, 
To feel what their dreaming of. 

Love just doesn’t seem easy enough,
Seems like it should always shine through. 
Or is that just an optimists’ point of view,
‘Cause it don’t seem likely that it will happen for you.

Then why is love even a factor,
When no one seems to hold on to the truth. 
How can love even exist in this world,
After all I’ve been through. 

Caring is a beginning,
Helping out, it becomes a fact.
But nothing ever last for love to hold to, 
‘Cause truth is all love has.

And you can love your children, 
You can love your best friend. 
But to just love some person, 
It’s not a realistic end.

So, love can’t last, and if there’s truth in that. 
I don’t want to live in this world. 
‘Cause all these people who were trying. 
Now are crying, and I can’t live with that.


Details | Ballad | |

Feelings 9-3-01

                                                             I gather THEM up
                                                             Taped THEM together
                                                             Sealed THEM in a bag
                                                             Packed THEM in a box
                                                             Dug a hole in my mind
                                                             And I buried THEM
                                                             Then I turned around
                                                             Walked away,
                                                             And forgetting all about
                                                                        YOU.


Details | Ballad | |

THE ROAR OF A DEPARTING AIRPLANE

Like the dreams in your daily horoscope
that come alive within the pages of an astrology' book...
written by someone who reads into the distant stars:
the roar of a departing airplane, disappearing into clouds,
is your crude awakening to reality...
finding everything else, but me!

I booked my flight in a hurry last night,
everything we  secretly shared lost its sense of delight;
I shouldn't remember when the times
when I came to you and brought you roses!

Like all the words that sound too sweet,
I let them go inside me so true and deep;
another destination, another lonely city...
where I'll settle down and face a clueless destiny!
There I'll find more women easy to love,
making no demands, pretenting to give;
in their arms,with skin smelling of perfume,
I'll  dream of you...when those roses bloom!

Nothing can keep me here,
even pity can't move me;
we started a passion full of flames,
forgetting about our tender ways!
Everything seemed everlasting...
never thinking of a sad ending! 

The loud road of a departing airplane
shouts off the sound of this voice;
I ask for forgiveness with my tears,
but you can't be found anywhere!


     


Details | Ballad | |

Pain

My heart is broken into two
But its only between me and you 
The things that im trying to pursue
But I feel so misused

But you rather go on with her 
But you see me I’m not gonna interfere
But if you rather to be down 
Then you see me im going to move around

Because love is nothing to play with 
It’s a shame how u treat me like a two dollar ho 
Waiting to suck and blow
Why you treat me like a thorn in your backside
But during sex you always wanting me to ride
Respect my mind 
All the time 


Details | Ballad | |

I STOP AT NOTHING

With so many choices and demands,
it's hard living with only one preference
when the force of giving
is stronger than my unexplored desires;
I live freely and stop at nothing...
as long as my night sparkles with stars!

The real side of me
 is the resemblance of reality;
my words reflect my true feelings,
and this smile won't deny you anything...
with thoughts never kept to myself,
or being afraid to say a sweet something!

With each word clearly spoken out,
there's no mistake in hearing my honesty,
and all you have to do...is listen carefully;
my time will be spent purposefully
with the one I'll pick out of the anxious crowd:
to shout her beautiful name so aloud! 

If words of a romantic song aren't  meaningful    
and the music has no harmony,
there will be no room for chemistry;
and the longer it plays the more it sounds awkward,
to make me realize I've lost another chance
at having you all mine...when I still dare to dance
and stop at nothing until all the words are said
and all the smiles fade out leaving me cold!        


Details | Ballad | |

From a Hero's Eye's

I’m away from this world 
I cannot follow your sheep
The mourning inside
These elements we prefer to keep

I’m away from your tears
Whispers sound away from my ears
Your smiles linger below my fears
The moments inside
They seem to blossom and hide

Hero’s do not smile
I’m no longer your wandering child
Your Guardian, I cannot be 
Is there anyone who may cherish me? 

Your piano may play
What useless lines this melody may say
I wish that I had flesh
I wish that when I fell
I bellowed out with purity from the chest

I’m away from this world 
I’m away from your tears
Hero’s no longer smile
I cannot follow your sheep
I’m no longer your wandering child


Details | Ballad | |

Troubled

Troubled I am
Thoughts no longer belong to me 
No longer mine 
A figure forever in-depth
Some what left behind
Forbidden desires
Truth being spoken 
From a mad mans mind
Spectators say what you will 
Think of gone 
Or at least until
I’ll be who I am 
No definition of family 
Yet I will always respond
Yes maim, thank  you, and please 
I will always take a coward from his knees
I will always look to your hands 
For royalties to be seized
I know not what is good 
I go about things wrong
My following being secular guidance 
Time and time again 
It’s the same refuted song
For these reasons 
I will never see a better home 


Details | Ballad | |

SEEKING REVELATION

I travel the whole land
of blistering sun and whirring wind
to seek revelation;
and I come from the deep south,
delivering my freight to the north:
making of  this lonely life a damnation...

I drive past Dallas,
the city of cowboys...
to chase the fumes 
of your burning engine;
you didn't leave a note
or didn't bother to call...
your wavy,brown hair 
blowing and glowing and
you laugh  in your
Chevy convertible;
who's that man you are talking to?
Am I being trashed by you?

I spent long hours driving, 
hearing my own voice 
trailing off into silence...
even my words have no meaning;
there's no strenght and main:
to assure me I won't die in vain!

I trave the whole land
to seek revelation
through cities with steel and glass skycrapers
and busy habors jammed with sailships;
I stop for the night at a nearby hotel
to go to sleep...to dream dreams 
I can't imagine to be real,
why haven't I used my intuition?

I've been trying to save money
to buy the dream-home you dreamed of;
but in the hush and rush of this daily living,
I've neglected your feminity...
but the most important thing you wished for:
was to have me beside you and feel complete!


Details | Ballad | |

A PLAYBOY LIKE ME

I didn't recognize your need,
and it only showed once
in those beautiful eyes of yours;
I was attracted to others
in ways I can't describe...
others less sincere than you for a good time,
not  listening to the words you were saying...
ignoring all your passion when you smiled;
was there an honesty I didn't see,
or a fantasy you have been resisting?

I used everybody for my crazy urges
and staring at my empty hands...
I'm so sorry to have lived up to this lie,
is there any quick way
I can cleanse them
and forget where I've been
or what I have done when
 I stepped out of the line;
is there another way for me 
to end this sad goodbye?


I made you wonder
and wait forever,
rising your fever even more...
when I spoke with my sexy voice 
and prouded myself of my affairs;
I laughed with carelessness,
considering none of your emotions...
taking away your only choice!
   
Now,don't ask me if I should stay
or what price I'm going to pay;
you can't change a playboy like me...
please look for somebody you can easily subdue,  
who can give you his sincere love and be true! 


Details | Ballad | |

LIFE EXISTS BECAUSE OF LOVE

I must be the last fellow
dedicated to a platonic love,
that makes me dream
while life flees
and just disappears
into the shadows of the evening:
forgetting that life
exists because of love...

 These  walls of cold stone,
suffocate me in a space
where my freedom
is an erring clone:
it will be summoned by self-esteem,
to let it lie there and die in scattered pieces...

Still treasured letters, unyellowed by light,   
with a name which meant a trust so imposing 
has lost its preciuos meaning;
a big heart drawn in red,decorated by roses 
that weren't given for the passionate cause:
is as imperceptible as hypocrisy,
but the sweetened air,that my nostrils breath,
is confined by an hysterical guilt
and an insignificant fight
struggling with an unseen enemy...

I must be the last lover
of this remakable century,
whose eyes resent
the shallowness
and awkwardness of reality
when faced by the rudest reality,
while my perturbing questions
demand an answer
and compell me to persist:  
forgetting that life exists
because of love...


Details | Ballad | |

Fatherless

Forgotten Christmas cards
or missed birthday cake
was it some thing you noticed,
or some thing you wish you had?

An empty sea shell
forgotten dreams 
a troubled life
because the man who left was dad.


Details | Ballad | |

heartaches

a grown man sits lost in tears of deceit,
a scared woman once again stands to her feet,
the child longing for love of any kind,
now seeing true love is so hard to find,

hearts sedated but hopes of -not this time,
dreams shattered for leaving is not a crime,
how do you say "sorry "when it should read -I told you,
was it worth the leap when inside you knew. 


Details | Ballad | |

SMALL HEART

Small heart,
don't stop getting bigger...
beat gladly under my care;
small heart,
you have never been
without kindness...
even when you felt sad
and were set apart!

Small heart,
be still good and kind...
even if some may not like:
the equality you share in your glow,
and the sincerity you show
in each beat!

Small heart,
don't keep me from grieving;
small heart,
listen to the helpless children
who are stripped of their innocence:
to be able of changing
the lustful hearts 
that need forgiving...
while they are punished
for their lewdness! 

Small heart,keep on giving,
and if you suffer...don't say anything;
forget your sorrow and worries for a short while:
even you deserve to be happy,
to stand still and idle away...
to revive your numb senses and really feel alive!


Details | Ballad | |

THOSE BLEEDING SCARS

The young lives he violently took
and the blood he spilled
on his quick and armed hands...
are those permanent scars
for all who lost friends
or relatives in Norris 
and Johnston Hall
on the campus grounds
in Blackburg,VA ;
this is the deadiliest massacre,
after Columbine,in the U.S.A;
but what motivated Cho to buy guns?

The fellow student fired more than
one hundred seventy rounds,
and gunned down his own;
without pity or remorse,
he continued his unjustified rampage:
reveling in the premeditated carnage;
then he shot himself...
as police searched the floors!

What did he accomplish,
and what kind of anguish
he inflicted on his parents
and others who unconsolingly grieve? 
Did he do all that for a moment's glory,
or because was wicked and full of fury?
We may never know an answer...that   
he has taken to his grave!   

Those bleeding scars can be healed,
if some kind of forgiveness is given;
how can I say to them," Forgive him! "...
when he killed the essence of their dream?


Details | Ballad | |

I Want to Cry

It's been another rainy day
Since I left that special place
There are you- here am I-
It's been another starless night
Since I took that lonesome flight
There are you- here am I-
And I want to cry-

Will the sun come out today?
Or will it still just hide away?
Cause there are you- here am I-
And will the moon shine tonight?
Or will the clouds put up a fight?
Cause there are you- here am I-
 And I want to cry-

I want to cry, but how can I let my feelings show -
How will you ever know~ when you are there and I am here?
I want to cry, but how can I share my tears with you - 
How will you feel it's true~ when you are there and I am here?
When I am here-?

Can the clouds and lights above
Express the longing of my love?
Cause there are you- here am I- 
And can all nature mourn the fate
Of two souls who separate?
Cause there are you- here am I-
And I want to cry-

It's been another rainy day
Since I left that special place
There are you- here am I-
It's been another starless night
Since I took that lonesome flight
There are you- here am I-
And I want to cry-

On leaving Meiningen, Germany
A song for Kirsten Amthor


Details | Ballad | |

5 senses

It seems like forever now since you've been away,

The emptiness in my eyes says it everyday,
I cant take this pain so drowned my sorrows,

And now that I'm alone I feel thick and hollow,

My life is at its end and I'll be gone tomorrow,

All I can see is broken promises,

All I can hear is the thoughts of me gone,

When it's all said and done I'll leave again, leave again,

Since my life's over now I don't need a friend, 

All I can feel is the wind of an empty room,

All I can taste is the bitterness of loneliness,

My frustrations weren't enough to drive me down, 

But since I'm sitting here I guess ill stick around, 

All I can smell is the fear I have, the fear I have,

All that I know is that I'm alone


Jonathan Manuel Munoz

Copyright ©2005 Jonathan Manuel Munoz 


Details | Ballad | |

Forever

Forever
A faint voice whispered through
Calling softly
Letting in the cold taste of sorrow
Memories streaming within my mind
Flooding me with Forever
Could this truly be gone
Over and done with
Forever use to blanket me in bed
Forever use to catch me when I tripped
And now such a contagious word 
Caught onto something it shouldn't have
Plunging into darkness
Such grief is blinding
Scratching and tearing until I was bare
Bare of sense
Bare of emotion
Bare of any happiness I could hold onto
This day, this Forever was unfair
Devastation and torment 
Why had I loved so hard
Why when all that could come was Forever
Questions ask
Answers stay silent
No one knows
No one predicts
Forever is Forever
So I am forced to listen
Forced to be 
Forced to wait
Forever




Details | Ballad | |

True Warrior

The presence of a giant in a frame so small
Heart of a warrior standing tall
The soul of an angel with the touch of a child
She walks so proud on the longest mile

She won’t give up, it’s a fight to the end
May have lost the battle, but won the right to ascend
And after she’s gone when there’s no more pain
The memory of her touch will remain

A True Warrior with unshakeable faith
The battle that she fought would make most runaway
A True Warrior, A Gentle giant inside
Dealing with a monster, she kept her dignity and pride

The hour draws close, her time is at hand
As she prepares her journey to a promised land
The peace that awaits and calls to her soul
Has her name etched in light on a heavenly scroll

Her battle’s nearly done and her war draws to a close
To face this monster is a path she freely chose
But look up in the sky pretty soon you’ll see a light
As she’s held in the arms of an angel tonight


Details | Ballad | |

Death's Inspire

as I sit bye the fire 
I am intrigued bye death's inspire
Skeleton's move in organinized fashion
Filling the room with quarrled passion
Will join us now that u are the newborn
Do u reconize your own reflection 
Do u see your skin complextion
For u were stillborn
Raged from your ricies in a dire form of mislead conduct
Your kingdom once filled with flourishing material product
A striken life was promised with the vison of the world to come
Here u will bw washed in no blame
can u even remember your own name
u only lack this in my house
Mingle around and do try to find yourself a spouse
My attention drawn towards these sympathetic words
I am disturbed bye this walls are misshaped and deranged 
Captured souls in dysfunction while there bones are interchanged
The halls are filled with a shamful air full of evil deeds
I stand here out if existence and hormone


Details | Ballad | |

THE CONSCRIPTED SON

The conscripted son 
in his hand....... 
the unwanted gun 

Some were willing....... 
Some didn't want the killing 
Wasted years 
So many tears 
They answered the call 
So many to fall............ 

The means to an end 
More boys to send...... 
They cannot see why 
They are sent to die 

The conscripted son, 
in his hand, 
the unwanted gun 
Blood spilling on the sand 

So many came....... 
So many died.......... 
They knew the country's name......... 
Rhodesia's fame 
Spread far and wide 

But now all is lost........ 
Was it worth the final cost? 
So many to die........... 
They never found out why 

Wounded inside 
Scarred outside 
Battles won 
Wars lost 
Lost son 
The final cost 

The sense of duty 
Misused 
Abused 
No one won 
Everyone lost a son 


Details | Ballad | |

Starting Over Again

Whatever happened to the time we used to spend
Whatever happened to my long and faithful friend
And not matter how my heart will seem to mend
I'm tired of starting all over and over again
Whatever happened to the love that we were in 
Whatever happened to the dreams that we'd begin
And no matter how my life will seem to mend
I'm tired of starting all over and over again	(Chorus)

I see the signs of yesterday yet I won't assume
Because I know what that will make of me and you
But I see the same old patterns every week and weekend
There's not a change so I have a hard time believin'
Yet I don't want to judge the future looking at our past
But if I can't depend on you then how can we ever last
I just can't deal with going through the same old thing
And your actions speak so loud you've left me wondering 

(Chorus)

If you're dedicated to me give me more of your time
Than you give to any other, let them know that you're mine
If you're committed to me, be faithful, kind and true
And remember you said you love me the way I love you
So history won't repeat itself you'll do whatever it takes
By always saying what you mean, doing all that you say
To make us work, keep our dreams, here's one last chance
For you to put your love in action and give a little romance

(Bridge)

Cause every man will proclaim his unfailing love
But what girl can find a faithful man she can trust
She just can't deal with going through the same old thing
And your actions speak so loud you've left her wondering 

Whatever happened to the time we used to spend
Whatever happened to my long and faithful friend
And not matter how my heart will seem to mend
I'm tired of starting all over and over again
Whatever happened to the love that we were in 
Whatever happened to the dreams that we'd begin
And no matter how my life will seem to mend
I'm tired of starting all over and over again	(Chorus)


Details | Ballad | |

When your Down!

When your down and no one is around.
Just bow your head and pray.
His is always there & listen to you.
So Raise you head & sing.

When I'm sad you make me happy
When I'm lonely you send me a friend
When I'm down & out, you pick me up
Yes, I know I have you as my friend.

When you feel you can't take anymore, you make things work out.
When life gets complicated, you bring me ease.
When your friends up & leave you for no apparent reason, you always provide
            me with someone new

When I'm sad you make me happy
When I'm lonely you send me a friend
When I'm down & out, you pick me up
Yes, I know I have you as my friend.

Your a Father of Love, Joy, Happiness, & Peace
Without you we would all just cease.

When I am down, I feel your love 
Yes, I know I have you as My friend!
Alberta   03/09/08


Details | Ballad | |

I

I want your arms around me
Your kisses on my mouth
I want your love to set my heart free
Please before I cloud my mind with doughty

I need to know you want me
I need to feel your hand in mine
Baby can you not see
We are wasting time

Either you want to be with me or you don't
Make up your mind or I will
I am not going to stand in line I wont
I don't have another fifteen years to kill


Details | Ballad | |

PROTECTED BY LONELINESS

I can't recall
how long I have been desolated,
and rejected by all,
living within these cement walls,
emanating wishes unheard by anyone;
staying indolent and thoughtless
with this soul gnashing:
so futile and drawn...

Too long
protected by loneliness,
too soon
to think of an incursion
and reprimand myself
of my impudence
for having been so inadvertent;
a reputed dreamer
demanding impossible things 
to bring them to a conclusion...

Too long retreated 
and secluded to have distorted thoughts;
and not to recite this pious prayer,
instead of an useless outcry...
Too deviant and improbable
to follow a straight course,
fight for something desired
to finally hang
my flag of victory
on the tallest pinnacle...

Too long
protected by loneliness,
too unfeasible 
to undertake fear and be responsible;
my hopes are fraught with feebleness,
and my phantom 
always wanders past a wan dream:
never to feel the emotional warmth of a hand... 


Details | Ballad | |

IT'S THE CHILDREN WHO SUFFER

It's the children who suffer in loneliness,
who feel the desolation
in all its ugliness and bitterness;
at such tender age,pain 
could definetly be an obstacle
to the realization of those dreams
promising to be so remarkable
by leaving a mark so indelible...

Those children who are left
 to unpleasant decisions,
devastated by violence
and the fear of their choices...
will not refuse a stranger's kindness;
and they,once afraid of strangers,
become the profiteers
and the abusers... 
doing the oppositive of what
they were taught!

It's the children who suffer in loneliness,
who demoralize themselves
when alternatives are the basic
to their uncertain survival...
It's the children who laugh 
even in tragic moments,
to reject their unworthiness
with clues they can't unravel!

They walk in dark alleys,
sleep in dark corners...
dreaming of having a home:
like the one they had before;
don't ask for their names...
they've lost their identity,
because they'd rather forget...
than bitterly regret!

It's the children who suffer in loneliness,
who pay dearly for someone's mistakes;
and they sleep by day
and wander by night:
to find that affection
that was denied them,
feeling no ebarassment  or shame!


Details | Ballad | |

Mom's Pain

Surgery after surgery, will it ever end? 
Is this what her life will be, or will the healing process begin? 
She hurts so much and she’s in so much pain, 
she can even tell you when it will rain. 
She can’t lift heavy things, and she’s filled with rage, 
she can’t walk around the yard, she might as well be in a cage! 
She tries to do everything and go on with her normal life, 
it’s so hard when she goes under the knife. 
It hurts me when she’s in pain and when she starts to cry, 
why did this happen to her, please God, tell me why. 


Details | Ballad | |

The words

And so the story goes...

Here we met.
You were funny and I laughed.
You were sensitive and I prodded.
You chased and I ran.
But I was sad because--
No, if I say the words, they're true.

Here we loved.
In your arms I saw safety.
In your words I saw security.
In your eyes I saw eternity.
Still, I was afraid to be loved because--
No, if I say the words, we're over.

Here we fought.
You spend all your time apologizing.
I spend all my time saying it doesn't matter.
But it does. You're hurting me and I'm hating you
And you'd understand if I just said--
No, if I say the words, you'll leave.

Here we parted.
I let you go and you hate me.
You brush me off and I cry and hurt and die.
You say you'll never forgive me but
If I told you--
No, if I say the words, you'll hurt.

Here we ended.
You've written me off. Filed me away. Sealed the room.
I still dream of you. Wish for you. Wait for you.
I'm the one who broke your heart.
You're the one who owns mine.
And sometimes... just sometimes I imagine you.
I imagine you holding me as I sob and I scream and I live the words.
I'm dying.


Details | Ballad | |

Out of Mind

I am so run down 
My feet are draggin' on the ground 
I have no rhythm, no rhyme 
You took my heart, but left me behind 
Now that you are gone, I am lost 
Never knew how much that would cost 
You held me close all these years 
You let me drown in my own tears 
No life jacket, you didn't even throw me a line 
Now I wander aimlessly, out of mind 
It's been three years since I last saw you 
Your whereabouts unknown, you left no clues 
My heart has hardened, my feelings are numb 
I look in the mirror, at this stone wall I have become 
Don't eve come back, never show your face 
I have the freedom, I have my own space 
I think about what could have been in due time 
But then again, as the saying goes, out of sight out of mind 


Details | Ballad | |

WINTER'S SMOLDERED FREEDOM

Certainly November is lovely  
beyond our intuition and expectation...
as it paves  the empty  roadways
with auburn foilage;
and the gently hissing wind
creates  its own cheerful melody,
because  frickle  imagination
provides the words of  a memorable song!

The tireless  and wild stallions,
with their astounding presence,
follow the bridlepath though  verdant hills...
leading them to a quite pinegrove,
where they can refresh themselves
into a clear, sparkling waterfall!

The familiar sluggishness of an Autmn's day
seems to have the same monotony
of weary streams  scurring away
with someone's dreamy mind....
elevating itself to the superb Creation;
as  the lonesome writer stages his play
in a tranquil landscape  of  a hidden town
still untouched by civilization!

Like those massive herds
of butchbirds and scissortails,at dawn
oozing off on rough branches ,
before taking flight to southerns' borders....
to escape winter's smoldered freedom,
not trusting the untrustworthy sky above
when the loudest thunder strikes again!

Beyond the closed  window,.
the tearful and lonely widow
will surely die of boredom...
without feeding the yellow canary
that tapped on  her open window:
how happy she  felt to see him...
his presence diluted her sorrow,
because all she wanted was his company!


Details | Ballad | |

GOING DOWN THE WRONG ROAD

Without a plausible answer,
you let the good dreams live in the achiever...
dreams,not thoughts of an unduly child:
changing domitable ways to wild,
shouting harmful and volatile words!

Brother,you're going down the wrong road,
and that is not going to lift 
some of the weight off;
the barriers won't quickly come down...
they'll cause only division and more grief:
to lay dangers in places so unseen...
that's when everything falls apart,
unable to replace it with something with worth!

Without aspiration or natural passion,
you stop half-way through and stare at others
with envy,anger and defiance;
you feed on your contention
and instead of wishing well to those
who have made it through hard strides,
you deride,mortify and dehumanize anyone 
who has earned what you have not!

Brother,you're going down the wrong road
to make your existence so worthless...
like a stone that keeps rolling down a stream
without knowing where it will lead;
brother,it's not hurting others that matters;
it's depriving yourself of all that's good...
to make your journey safe and painless!


Details | Ballad | |

BITTER SQUALOR

Poverty and rage is all he sees
in a furtive,doleful glance,
and the brightly-colored lights
cannot console the wretched soul
of his malnourished,shivering body:
bundled up in rags and visible to all
the hurriendly and careless passerbys,
who seem blind in their own pretense...

He rejects the mournful sounds
interfering with his needed sleep;
and yet,he lifts his drooping head
to peak around the wratful trees
to assure himself that 
the wooden and metal shack
is well-secured and safe;
his numberless doubts delve deep...


In the middle of a furious February,
winter has failed to invite the generous sun 
to warm up his frosty home so run-down;
an impoverished home in which he repulsed luck
that could have turned his life around;
his regret is an unremissible remedy:
consumed by a wishful valor
that ended in bitter squalor....


Details | Ballad | |

MARILYN

Marilyn,
don't displease your only friend;
yust for once take my advice:
your next step is simply wrong...
Marilyn,
your way isn't right to choose!

Marilyn,
please don't go now;
you will never know:
how much pain
and misery
you can leave me;
your farewell kiss
will be your only memory!

Marilyn, think it over...
don't give anything over...
this seems a sacrifice you never did;
hide no secret, I'll understand!

Marilyn, I have been the first
to take hold of your empty hand;
can you give me up so fast?
Yesterday you said you never would!
Marilyn,
don't hope
to find another man, 
who will appreciate
you as much as I always do...
it can be so hard for you!


Details | Ballad | |

IF HE TURNED AWAY FROM YOU...

If he turned away from you,
what are you going to do;
you promised yourself to be his only,
but your closed eyes dreamed for too long
before they opened up to face reality...
in a way that could only bring the saddest word!

What will ever happened to that dream
you helped him build:  hope by hope,
joy by joy and tear by tear... believing
it all would be soon realized and nothing
could ever go wrong,because it looked so perfect;  
isn't it the most horrible awakening?

If he turned away from you,
what are you goind to do;
will he ever forget your beautiful face
with those pretty eyes unafraid of darkness... 
honest eyes that never lied,
but faithfully loved and cried!

Spring or summer
fall or winter...
there's was no favorite season,
because love found ,by luck,
the right heart to grow into...
the most lovable heart
to start a passion a woman 
could never undo!

If he ever turned away from you,
what are you going to do;
will you stop loving him
as you always did,
walk away like he never was yours,       
meant anything or even existed!?
Will you throw away all his pictures
and look for someone you can love?


Details | Ballad | |

I MAY NEVER KNOW YOUR SWEET KISSES

I may never know your sweet kisses...
but that inviting,warm look
might  make me yours;
oh,I dream of it a lot!

The many useless heartbreaks 
are a continuation of tender delusions
I keep inside for some kind of hope;
you are adored by thousands of men,
and I am not one of the chosen...
still feeling like someone who's lost his grip! 

I may never know your sweet kisses,
and 'though we are this close...
no night has us completely alone,
no morning greets us with the dazzling sun;
I patiently wait,consuming my desire...
'till it's too weak for me to be the charmer!

If my delusion keeps me from reality, 
I'll take it  out it of these unpleasant dreams...
to feel rejection as another word of sympathy;
I could be as unresisting as you,and care less 
and have many women sorround me, too...
but will it be different and still feel so true?

I may never know your sweet kisses,
the ones you waste on others;
perhaps you were never meant to be mine,
because I have given in too easily
and trusted in you so surely!
I may never know your sweet kisses...
don't ever imagine I'll be alone!




Details | Ballad | |

OBSESSION

How strange it would be indeed,
if this foolishness of mine
refused to make a good impression,
not to stand out and be noticed...

I'm very sexy and I unawarely
attract lots of lovely women;
is the charm in my good looks
and these friendly,smiling eyes?
Is the charm in my irresistible smile
that I use as my best weapon?
I am not too sure,unless I'm blind
and so obsessed with your purity!

Nothing makes me sadder to realize
that your sweet,adored thought
is so loved,yet can be so hated;
I have to hide my secrets and emotions,
kill the joys and not cry with you;
I have to lie and be afraid of the naked truth! 
How long can I resist your innocence,
fight this obsession...untill I'm doomed?  

If there were no hands conforting me,
no lips wanting my warm kisses...
how lonely and devasted I would be!
The one and only thing I can't get is:
the denied and unfelt passion
that has turned into my obsession!


Details | Ballad | |

A MOTHER'S ABSENCE

A lonely boy,barely seventeen,
writing sad and lovely words
from a small room with open shades
overlooking Everett's skyline: 
a lovely and quite town
in the suburbs of Boston...

Mother,distance is counted in miles,
but to miss what inspires me
is quite unmmeasurable
and verbally indescribable
mother,days become nights...
and momorable moments
cheer me up when I should cry,
and be comforted by your tenderness!  

Daddy,left from this very place of truce,
with a glance cold and undignified,
his plane flew over Long Island
where you courageously thrive on;
he betrayed both son and spouse!

Airplanes roar over the discolored roof
of this huge and abandoned house;
the yellow-chested parrot repeats
his funny and banal jokes,
unable to make me smile and laugh,
because inside a sorrowful heart
there's no place for joy and growth!

Mother, the heavy snow is covering the roof-tops,
and the firs and pines welcome it with zest;
but I feel the coldness and can't rest...
until I see the gladness back in those eyes!


Details | Ballad | |

MOTHER ANNA

What wouldn't I have done
for Mother Anna when daddy left home,
and abandoned his children...
like they were orphans forgotten and alone?

On that winter's evening
snowflakes danced cheerfully,
and the Christmas Tree shone brilliantly
as an angel fell and broke his wing;
silence descended to denote a great loss...
stirred by a commotion
that couldn't be stustained!
A wife lost her companion;
kids, an uncaring father who could never lead
or set an example for them to admire the most...

Underneath the bare oak tree,
by the brightness of the street lamps...
three young girls sobbed and wept sadly;
an airplane fled across the vast sky
illuminated by the splendid stars: 
they waved their trembling hands
to someone they would never see again,
was theirs a memorable cry?

What would have I done in the eyes of God,
if not help you carry half of the load:
denouncing with anger and grief
his selfishness and injustice?
Mother Anna,that pain was immensely mutual,
drawing us together to defy his action
which was thougthless and cruel;
Mother Anna,your wisdom indicated retribution...


Details | Ballad | |

UNFORGIVEN REMORSE

Unforgiven remorse....
for what I foolishly did to myself,
refusing to ask, by challenging fear,
what the future withheld from me;
thinking that dreams couldn't end!
I flowed with the currents 
of a raging river,never reaching the calm sea, 
carrying this insignificant rock,
so dilapidated and exhausted,
not knowing where to stop...
hoping not to collide with destiny 
and be pitifully shattered!

My wandering and blind soul
becoming farther away...
not recognizing the favorable winds
blowing towards me and recede to safety:
to preserve my thoughts from oblivion, 
only to satisfy my primary needs!
My hurt was more spiritual
than the less-distressed physical...
without the ability to perceive joy,
and claim it without flattery!

Unforgiven remorse...
rebuking those unsound and adverse ways,
for having cast unrepellant shadows
over the ambitions and aspirations
of an unfulfilled life without soothing consolations;
no happy moments,no great events...
to complement when sorrow is intense!


Details | Ballad | |

MY GENERATION

My generation 
lived by its own rules,
refused to cope with reality
and grew up irresponsibly...
abusing their bodies
with harmful substance;   
arrogance and pride
were the qualities they displayed!

My generation
looked away...staring into nothing,
no plans,no dreams and no faith 
to make them grow  in spirit;
drunken, indulgent and insecure
they lost the will to endure...
they wasted precious years
chasing after phanthoms
that led them to obscure roads,
where life was so  worthless and cheap!

My generation
put away holiness
and replaced it with foolishness,
and as demons seaped into their weak souls,
they were made powerless by their own rendition;
not empowered by love...they lost themselves!

My generation
could have accomplished great things,
been powerful leaders and inspire others;
their good deeds 
could have been excellent examples
of  their fruition!
  


Details | Ballad | |

CARRIED AWAY

A very kind young man
got carried away by loved
and hated feelings;
at first,he saw the friends and people
in his world so loving and cheerful...
then, the deep pain
of having been
unrightly loved...aleniated him from them!

The fear of finding worse,not better,
made him realize their unfaithfulness...
and waking up from that nightmare,
he was struck by anger with a vengeance!

A very kind,young man
got carried away by loved
and hated feelings;
now,alone,he restlessly searches
for his boyhood' joy so far gone...
a joy that he unwillingly missed!
And as the  wrinkles change      
his once- smooth and shiny face,
he refuses to recall a past
that only reflects sadness!



Details | Ballad | |

23rd Time

Seems like the 23rd time I've done this.
Seems like the 23rd time to me.
That I have broken everything I hold dear in my life.
Killing all my dreams.

Seems like I was once a good father.
Two daughters came my way.
Seems like I've had two wives.
Neither that will speak to me today.

Seems like God was against me.
Probably from the start.
Seems like my God is heartless.
Letting my world fall apart.

All that I've held and all that i will.
All that I've bought and all that I sell.
Seems like peices of my heart and parts of my soul.
That have fallen from grace and now must go.

Seems like the 23rd time I've become sober.
And realized the pain that I've caused.
Seems like I've hurt so many.
Must be my 23rd flaw.

23 bottles and 23 drugs.
23  relationships swept under the rug.
Distance memories of loves that I've lost.
But nothing came at a higher cost.

Than the 23 times I missed Daddy I love you, please come play with me.
For that is the true punishment for the error of my ways.
No invites to celebrate their 23rd year.
Just this empty life I've lead full of empty tears.