His mind has all the meaning of a madman that is screaming
Tortured and tormented, a life lived to be lamented
Drained and defeated, his family finally retreated
Leaving him believing that he was beyond redeeming
The doctors sent in spoke of hope and healing
The drugs they administered only made him more demented
Cemented is the feeling that his life is just an echo
Of an endless, timeless, all-consuming screaming
His best friend is a disproportioned bird, appropriately named buddy
Whose monotonous motion in drinking is somewhat soothing to his being
Though not potent enough to stop, the persistent pounding of the screaming
Often he stares into the emptiness of nothingness, contemplating the beauty
of its existence
Only to find his mind is drowning in a confounding conundrum he can’t quite
It’s hard to be philosophical when your mental testicles have fallen to the proper
So sometimes he whispers tongue twisters until his brain blisters
Madmen mask madness in the meticulous mastery of mindless tasks
Buddy was telling a troubling tale, of a dragon drunk off of some dwarven ale
Who through two days, threw up flames and burnt down the tavern and town
When the door to his room opened with a plume of plum perfume
In stepped an inept and unkempt nurse named Nancy
Her green eyes and fiery red hair caused his heart to flutter and flair with fancy
She had quite the quiet voice and was quick to trip over her own two feet
A bit naïve, she would easily believe anything she had heard or seen
He knew he would make her his, no matter the time nor energy
It was easy for him to pretend to be prim and proper
Just a mask to don in order to dupe his doctor
Circumventing the system that couldn’t save him
He was as he always had been and would be
In constant pain and agony with no desire for sympathy
Just in need of some freedom from his prison and medication
Meditation and mantras had given him the sentiment of a design
On how to inhibit the screaming, and maybe even end it
Four years plotting and planning the perfect moment of promise
A fire formed from a single flamed fueled from an accelerant
It raced through the halls, up the walls, over the ceiling, killing all the residents
Eighty-eight inmates and staff burned alive in what felt like an instant
Such little time to search through the bodies, looking for a single person
He found her on the fourth clinging to the bathroom faucet
He lost his virginity to the burnt corpse of Nurse Nancy
To his amazed mind, he was astonished to find, the screaming was silenced
just a note I cannot reduce the font so the lines fit without overlapping as they
do in stanza two
Black squirrels bound skewways
from the house, shadowshifts
falling darkly on
dusty white autumnal
snow. Paw prints run
makeshift memories soon
snowed over. Leaping
on tree trunks they wind their
way upward on paths of birch
bark in quick roundhouse runs.
I watch them go from
a seat by the door
and eavesdrop on the
dripping eaves trough. Icicles
hang like stalactites
The heater blows dry
air over my face as
dust rides recirculated
draft flows and floats upward
in a beam of magnetic
light. A thin frosting
of human sloughcells
settles on the windowsill
in a regiment I
attack with the duster
before they regroup and
resettle. Single cells
born of a single self. I
pace circles on the
fading cream carpet.
This doesn't belong to me
here you can have it back
i held it now for almost seven years
its getting heavy
you can take it anytime
i don't want to hold this anymore
why cant you take it
it doesn't fit
and it doesn't belong
it tears me apart
the struggle goes on
go ahead and cry
i can hold onto that to
just drop it in and go right through
i'm just a stop
a shoulder to need
and you can go on lifting away free
i'm slowly falling
i'm tipping from side to side
i'm not quite stable
but i'm only here for the ride
i'm not going to take charge
i'm not going to sit
and stare out my window of regret
my window is clear
clear as glass
and gets bigger with everyday we pass
its making me sad
tears run down my eyes
i cant let it go
that's no surprise
i tell you what i tell you
and hear what i hear
but what about everything inside
everything i fear
i got that to
right beside the picture of me and you
i know this is crazy
and i know i am to
but what about my secrecy
i have to follow through
Nature's gone insane;
Cannibal cadavers creep.
Lock down the LIMPING GROVE.
PIRATES have stolen the TREASURE TROVE.
I know all about the garden shed, how you
Hide and make your bed.
Watching with a whimsical stare he replied
I know nothing of these TRAVESTIES.
HERE are SOME FACTS you MAY not know:
Tedious TEASING TUSSLES to taste the
Merciless MUSING knows what treasures
You have stolen, then you will not
Continue to repose
Tell where you have roved lest I'll
Lance YOU WITH this BLADE, to get the JEWELS YOU have
Real, EXCEPTIONAL TREASURES
Can not be BOUGHT. Drop your sack where you stand, do
This as I demand. A search of the sack revealed
Nothing familiar. As he made a hasty EXIT a telling
Jingle was heard.
PRICELESS GOES the NINES WITH
FEARLESS YOU IN MIND.
Signal sweet sights
Pain pressures plight
Reach ripe reveal
Keep kindred kind
Leave lousy lines
Succinct sound stakes
Prime print partakes
Apt aim attest
Rich robust rest
Kind keepsake knot
Linger late lot
Peace prize plunders
Real rider rows
Kneeling knave knows
Learn lots lively
Sight settles sound
Prize pays profound
Right response rounds
Knave keeping knight
Latent love lights
Sparkling signs speak
Pleasure proofs peak
Knock kind knuckles
Sexy soothes signs
Progress plain prime
Rapture reaps rhymes
Kind keep kindles
Lines leap lovely
01 Apr 2014
There is no other
as loving as a brother.
I seek admiration
like a promotion
to find me smothered
in an instant, my lover
of life seemed in motion
as a song like a lotion
to put on your hands, another
love line I write, my mother
would want to hear this commotion
or, not so much to give out this information.
The rain is extremely cold, above better
days. Just be here for me, as my admirer
I have always lived my life full of hope. I have come to realize that hope can be debilitating!
My love I can not find you anywhere,
I feel like I lost my soul somewhere,
because you are my soulmate,
and us being apart can not be fate.
You did not leave because you wanted to,
It just was just something you had to do.
I was not right, All I wanted to do was fight,
and knowing you was the love of my life,
yet I would not make you my wife.
I know that's what you really wanted
and now I am feeling haunted,
by the things I should have done,
and you being the only one
I ever loved and will love forever, if it was'nt for me we will still be together.
But you are gone
and I can not go on,
so I must say good-bye, I'm leaving myself to die.
Sometimes gravity will have
It’s grip on you.
All those moments you thought
Your feet were about to leave the ground
When your wings were finally carried
By the wind, only to have it disappear
At the edge of uncertainty.
Sometimes the choices you make
Feel like pit holes, and all
You ever do is fall into them
Getting lost in underground tunnels
Looking for the light that
Plays hide and seek with your mind.
Sometimes we forget to smile
When all we see are grey clouds
And the snow is falling a bit too much
We wish for sun that wont show itself,
Want things we know will come
But suddenly become impatient.
Sometimes we forget how many times
We fell while learning how to walk
We don’t try to stand up when life
Pushes us down , we begin to crawl
And hope someone will find us
And lift us up, but sometimes
That person should be us.
pitter patter acid rain waxing hi-gloss
smoky sky-scratching monster coup
fearless hue self-out stabbing acrylic nails'
bond to black market sale-deal rape
indian tears too few to cleanse
the polluted hearts under the stitch-held
stars of a blood-whipped flag
in you is a flood after drought
in you is a pestle fitting crucible
somewhere in your rash, there's a place called sensible
our common meeting place coming out
ten-speed riding sunshine girl smiling
wide and high as her cheeky-powdered rock-washed
cellular towering, nerve-shock stroking man
dodge-wrecking his impersonal laptop-orgy
maverick hopping additive, lasso-steroid
from steak-rustling warrior pinning-the-tail-on-
a-steel-wheel-heart when picking up metal armor
in you is a flood after drought
in you is a pestle fitting crucible
somewhere in your rash, there's a place called sensible
our common meeting place coming out
toro, weightless astronaut
toro, steaming sailor
it's all in us wear it's knot
Do dancers dance only?
Do singers sing solely?
Does fame fade fast?
Does long love last?
Do painters paint plainly?
Do travelers travel timely?
Does power produce pride?
Does sin separate side?
Do writers write wrongly?
Do readers read repeatedly?
Does strenght steal soul?
Does fact forbid foul?
Do teachers teach truely?
Do preachers preach purely?
Does grace grow gradually?
Does confusion confuse continuously?
So ready and close
How could I be second?
Waited for eternity
Just for the chance
You and I join in a special dance
But it hurts to sit and want
Patience wears thin and I wait
You never could understand
How I wait time and time again
There is nothing for me to do here
You're entertained, I'm not
And your annoying voice I can't even hear
You've given up talking at all
I can see the truth clearly now, and the truth is we live in a world where almost everything is shaded to a lie. (We act as if we are someone else and just can’t be what we want to be.)
Truth remains strong that our very own fables cover our very own two eyes. (We only choose to see what we want to see.)
Only fibs and tall tales are left on the local store corner….for they the only things left on the shelf that we can buy. (Many Profound Truths remain imprisoned while too many lies are out there living free.)
I look at the ground because I can’t look at the sky; I laugh more with death rather than crying with life. (Shakespeare once said “To be or not to be” but I say F%$k trying “To be” because I’d rather “Just BE”.)
Living amongst a world of shaded illusions upon the mind eye, upon which we have many wrongs more than our rights, yeah I know we all want peace but yet we still choose to fight. (We long for death but fear it; we want to go away but don’t know what will happen when we leave our loved ones with certain grief stolen away in the night by death like a thief.)
So why is it so many of us continue to stare at our everyday truths as if we are blind, as if we cannot see our own struggle through our very own lies……..
TO PONDER POSSIBILITIES
AND POSTULATE PROBABILITIES
SOCIALLY SIMMERED SO SARCASTICALLY
TO SANCTIMONIOUS UNCERTAINTIES
THEN RENDERING A RECIPE RANDOMLY
INTO IRRATIONAL IMPOSSIBILITY
MIXED TO THE MAXIMUM MALICIOUSLY
MORONIC MINDS OF MINIMUM MORALITY
ABANDONED ABRUPTLY WITHOUT ACCOUNTABILITY
FALSELY FIGURED AND FORGOTTEN FUNDAMENTALLY
REPUGNANTLY REMEMBERED RESPONSIBILITY
HOPELESSLY HELPLESS HOMOGENEALOGY
WITHOUT SHAME OR SENSIBILITY
NO HONOR NOR HUMILITY
PRIDE OR PERSONALITY
ISSUE OR INTEGRITY
Bound by blame, broken by blight,
Scarred by a stolen satire,
nuzzling necrophiliacs within the night.
Tangled in torment, tied untamed,
blemished by the blasphemy,
of never speaking your name.
Shackled in sin, shredded sovereignty,
dealing death’s doses,
murdering you and me.
Cuffed with candor, calling our crimes,
to an impetuous enslavement,
tortured through time.
Set me free, to flee this fool’s game,
where we're always left wandering,
in this wasteland of shame.
A heated rush,
Pink tinted flush,
Reflection as is,
An insights quiz.
Who art thou,
Hand across thy chest,
A promised test.
Channels to choose,
Casting unforgettable news,
Rose pedals fled.
As the dreamer recieves,
Their reaction achieves.
It takes a dream to make a dream possible.
What are dashes doing...
What's the reason
The pause in ma words
Slowness in "songs"
Distortion in grooves
Sometimes ma mood...
That's a clue
I'll finish it later
Em..what's that letter
Or even displaced
What's next in line?
Okay I'll find a nice rhyme
What's that word?
Or is it "odd"?
Oh this is odd!
Where are words!
This tank I call ma skull
Is nought.. full of nought!
Cut! It hurts!
What a blank hut!
Every time I sleep; pains on my brain'
Abolishing my heart n soul lord escort my vein
From the bounded clouds of this mournful pain
I can't predict the weather nor the range of the rain
But hope for the station of this moving train
Thou death is sometimes rude & so insane
Life remains a distance between birth & death
That exists deep down in the palms of earth
Demise, demise, demise; roll your unmerciful dice
Flutter with our lives as we stare with horrified eyes
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, statue into dense ice
Nothing panels your path nor human's wealth
Wicked calamity that neither cares of people's health
Guilty & innocent souls shall rest on your misty throne
Plans & creatures will bow & obey to the sound of your tone
Yet no grave, on the roots of earth, shall hold my corpse down
I'll dwell with divine cherubs of warmth, & wear my sacred crown
Emulating implausible angels in the closed doors of heavens town
So wipe your worthless tears, & rinse my ashes with frosty plums
Blustering monumental trumpets, accompanied by mourning drums
While the faultless treasure chest slumps down the mastery ground
As I tumble in a dim cavernous ocean aiding my soul to rebound
Gushing tears won't refurbish dull coats munched in the idols grave
Bloated hearts shall be restored by comforting pals that are brave
The sprinkling gates of heaven will sanctify my bones with streams
Consigning my precious soul to a land filled with endless dreams
Confessing all my transgressions; as I knock on the heavens door
While my corpse respite calm on the arctic layers of my odd floor
TO GET IT OFF MY BACK (TO LIVE)
To get it off my back, I write about this and that.
To get it off my back, I write about life.
To get it off my back!
To escape mania
To destroy the voice
To defend my rightful mindedness from evil discourse,
I write about the lunacy of the Courts.
To get it off my back, I write about what the world did.
They killed my people my people spirit of happiness.
I write about the mania I normally live within.
To get it off my back, I scribe proverbially and have a psalmist thumb.
I tell the public about the wickedness to come.
To get it off my back, I am bard to tell exactly the way it is.
To get it off my back
Penned April 27, 2014!
What is our purpose?
Why are we here?
Why are we here left in fear shedding all these tears
starring at this demond in this mirrior
blinded by everything I see so clear
where am i going after this life? and is it near?
people always always saying swagga shut up stupid clowns
I see all you frowning behind that fake smile
I can help all im spreading the word around my town
to make you turn that frown upside down
they have you in the palm of there hands cant you see it?
If it wasnt for them we wouldnt be asking all these bulls*** questions
and not to mention who are you to be asking me who im reppin
you should get hit in the mouth but
before all that idiotic violence let me talk to you.....
they got you all so corrupt but yall dont know so you dont give a f***
they have you like a trout with a kook caught in its mouth some slip and get
away there the lucky ones who can actually say
I have truly been saved
I have to be brave and put up a fight till the end of my days
they say im headed in the wrong direction but thats the governement
there just like a nasy infection
theyll always be here picking at your brain saying all the answers are in this certain section
always saying dont use Jesus's name in vain but every king has his rain
all loss through out years to come its people like me that will put your name to shame
am i satanic NO these are just my devilsh thoughts
theres turning back im self sustained put in this hell knowing very well that i shall rise above all these brainless people that are stuck in this hell get out of that brainwashed shell
to escape this long life lasting jail not knowing you are rotting in this cell
I really do care about my people
the government they dont there the true definition of evil
they work for lucifer so they do what they have to, to get thier share
piece the puzzle and you will find it
Jesus Christ is luccifer he has all you misguided he himself and his dominions where all behind it.
Danny diligently drew delightful dinosaurs
Delightful dinosaurs Danny diligently drew
If Danny diligently drew delightful dinosaurs-
Where are the dinosaurs Danny diligently drew?
For the dinosaur contest..(obviously)
He swifts on by like a moon lighted night.
He shines bright for a moment in time.
His arm's always open with warmth.
His smile always bigger then everyone elses.
His heart of rage and fire.
He swifts on by, he swifts on by.
Who will know the true man within.
The man thats full of sin.
No one can, no one can, for we are all just man...
I am valuable but not worth any price
I am precious but far more than gold
I am productive but not for abuse
I can talk but not to be abused of talking
I am hardworking but not to be a slave
I am a wife but I am an individual too
I am a mother but I'm just human
I am strong but I get tired too,
I am in flesh, so I need rest
I care but I value myselft first and foremost
I am kind but need kindness too
I listen but not to be lied to
I run the house but I deserve to run myself too
I am the help meet but I need support too
I understand but not to be misunderstood
I provide but I need to be provided for too
I run the kitchen but I need to run my self too
I am the housewife but I am a wife too,
I am married, to my husband, not the house!
I love but I should not be taken for granted
I am weak but not to be raped, beated and scratched
I am submissive and obedient but not to be exercised power abuse on
I am a cheerful giver but not to be robbed
I am soft but not to have my blood squeezed out,
I am full of life but not to be taken away from me
Yes, I am a woman,
Created to live,
Not to be a woebegone!
Life is so crazy/
Death so busy it never get's lazy/
Thoughts blurred and blinded by true lies that they always get hazy/
The mother ****ing devil is always trying to chase me/
But I'm stronger than that I won't ever let *****like that ever ****ing faze me/
I no longer care if any muther ****ers want to over or under rate me/
I've already been ****ing up on my own lately/
I take your ****ing criticism greatly/
*****es I'm too real for any of you fake mother ****ers to fake me/
I'm too ****ing still in God's foundation to let the devil shake me/
I'm the general, the king of my own *****nobody can't ever break me/
**** what people say for I am the maker of my own *****people can't ever make me/
I'm the leader and deliverer of my own *****you can never take me/
Who want to question *****about *****mother ****ers thats why I'm Writer Crazy.....
As but only one young lost man in a great land I sometimes don’t want to see what I see in life but death causes me to look. I don’t want to hear the things I hear but have to admit the things here that I’ve heard. I don’t want to be guilty today it’s why I continue to strive past my past for innocence in the near future. I don’t want to feel what I feel but after another day in this dark place has gone by I can’t hide what I have painfully felt. As but one young man I wonder why I question others motives and still can’t see the answers to my own as if I know all the answers to life when I don’t even know the true cause of my own. I wonder why I am happier at times but more often than not why I continue to be sad. I look for ones in groups of twos and get lost in groups of threes, but don’t get even me started on the groups of fours. On the outside world I am lost yet inside myself I know I am found, I holler silently at night while I quietly pray during the day. As but only one young man I can only do what is best for self-first if I want to start making a difference for two.
Sometimes life for one can be fun, but on the reservation more often than not it is boring and dull. On the reservation I found serenity and solitude in the hills but I also found old savages and young Satan’s in the towns. I see beauty and peace in Mother Nature but I also found violence and ugliness among my very own in the neighborhood. I see not what I see and I think not what I think for I feel what I see which leads me to think. I choose rather to just be rather than not be what other people want me to be. I see what I see because I haven’t really got a choice in what I will see, I’d rather choose to just say that I saw. Outside people can’t make one see what I already choose not to see for I see what I see rather if they want me to see things their way or not. I can’t feel what they feel unless they feel what I feel and live where I live and be where I am to know where I truly am from to understand the thoughts and feelings of not only a young native of struggle, but as a person worldwide no matter the skin color.
Flames roared through the nights sky.
A glimpse of blue still protruded through the flames.
The heat warmed the mortals below.
They believed that this was a great night.
The sky emulated a beautiful red color.
The color was extraordinary with remnants of blue.
They believed that they were all safe.
They were not nearly as safe.
They were witnessing Armageddon.
The war between good and evil.
For no one is safe until judgment day.
That is the day when the sky will forever remain blue.
The birds will sing a tune.
The flowers will bloom.
That will be the day.
The day when we will all be ok.
Here comes the Watcher heading toward the hemlock
Watching the world, becomes his wealth,
toward which he tails around you, to every place, today and tomorrow.
When The Watcher walks, time slows down
Bearing his name, watches die out.
For The Watcher walks forward, caring less about the weather, waiting
for your fate to take place.
People like you and me, prepare for the worst, peeping along the post down home,
where the watch of the night, nears around and touches neat and soft
the rim of your face, right becomes night, and vacations along the rim down low.
Dreadful dawn dug doggedly deep, dazed dues
Prickle-prone paths pierce peer-less purpose
Buried bricks burn beneath brine and blood
Homes and holes hitch-hike heated Hours
Sync'd steps stoop, saddling steely shores
Shadows of sagging shoulders shed shrewd strokes
Sanctioned sympathy sealed and soiled in stoic stories
Homes and Holes hauling hymen of horror hormones
Nagging newts nutured nadir of nervous noisome nuns
Jilted jones jaded in jiltery journey of jerky joules
Measled mare much-malligned by myriad of magnetic manacles
Homes and holes held hostage in hidden hydrogen hades
I live in a place striving for sobriety surrounded in alcohol looking for happiness trapped among our very own sadness. I hear my people’s laughs and I hear my people’s cries, but most of all I see their dreams because their dreams are my dreams because we remain not against each other today as enemies but hidden friends united through culture, language and blood. I laugh with my people and of course I cry with my people and I fight with my people but most of all I continue to dream with my people. I know who I am and where I am from to know where I been to still hope to where I am going to go. I feel darkness engulf not only myself but also almost my entire reservation’s race, no matter mixed or not because soon our culture and language will have no face without any more light to shine upon it. I know where I lived and still live to know if I will truly go where I truly want to go in life before I have my one walk with death. I know by a long shot that I am not the best but by a close hit on the reservation’s target I could be better.
I take a stand against self to stand against others to better a worsening crowd of many young lost indigenous souls waiting to be unknowingly found and waiting for something similar to what I’m about to write. I take a stand for self so that others know that we aren’t all lost and we can and will be found with the true hope of no one’s but your own. I take a stand because my brothers and sisters wont, I take a stand because now days most the people around me or within me can’t or don’t know how, I take a stand for the children who don’t have a father and mother as I once had, I take a stand for my unborn child almost here, I take a stand for courage because within me is filled with fear, I take a stand against because the alcohol and drugs within me now I just can’t stand, I take a stand for those around me who cannot stand, I take a stand for a culture dying on its knee’s trying to get back up, I take a stand for the forsaken yet to be forgiven self-stand.
I patiently wait, lying away in the darkness searching for light even though I can see the light I just don’t know how to get on thy path to the light. I am not alone, I know for a fact that I am not alone in my thoughts and feelings about life on earth here. I can see our pain, I can hear the hollers and screams, I can feel your anguish and I can smell our destruction. I walk through the reservation valley of darkness as if I am but a blind witness to our own destruction upon where many of us go unknown truly forever in depths of time, in the depths of death.
I know that I cannot give in or give up on a dream of a people’s dream where the buffalo in our young hearts and minds may roam around free and where the wolf warrior chief may rise above all odds and become thy greatest modern day warrior, the people seek him, the people crave him, the people need him, the people need someone to rise if not geographically the worldwide mentally.